Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - December 01 - Matt Brown, The Waiting Game At A Wedding, Our Countdown To Christmas

Episode Date: November 30, 2020

Hellooooo! If you haven't seen or heard yet, an adorable little 5 year old boy from Christchurch, Angelou Brown, sent out a video to Dwayne The Rock Johnson as part of a campaign his family have been working on to end domestic violence. Angelou wanted The Rock to wear the tshirts they've had made that say "She Is Not Your Rehab" to spread this message to all his followers and fans. WELL, The Rock reposted Angelou's video last night with a beautiful message, and we chatted to Matt Brown (Angelou's dad) about this movement and The Rock's involvement. It's a very sweet and important story and a wonderful chat with Matt. On a slightly different note, Jono's daughter Poppy has a little obsession with insects. Once she wanted Jono to help her find a snail at 9.30pm, and now she's wanting him to help her build a worm farm. The issue is Jono has to find the worms and it's really not a task he's keen to do! We also caught up with professional competitive eater Nela Zisser who set a new Guinness World Record for the fastest time to eat the most chicken nuggets. And Ben surprised Jono with his least favourite food EVER, and Jono had to eat it! All that and a whole lot more today!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings, friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast. Ben just had to take a phone call, so he said, oh, you do the podcast intro. And he said he gave me permission to play both roles in the podcast intro. So this is with Ben's blessings.

I'll give this one-man play featuring a two-character performance. Welcome to the podcast. What a great show we had today, Ben. Oh, Jonah, you were probably the best I've ever seen you do radio. You were amazing this morning. Oh, thanks, mate. You didn't have to. No, I mean, honestly, working radio. You're amazing this morning. Oh, thanks, mate. You didn't have to. No, I mean it.

Honestly, like working with you, it's a joy. Every morning I get up and I'm like, oh, it's an inspiration. It's like you inspire me to be a better person. Ben, honestly, these are heartfelt words, mate, but you don't need to do it on the podcast. I weigh 42 kgs. I know, Ben, you're very light. Competitive eater Nella Zissa joins us as well. She has just broken a record. Oh, I like breaking records. Thanks, Ben. You're very light. Competitive eater Nella Zissa joins us as well. She has just broken a record.

Oh, I like breaking records. Thanks, Ben. You're just saying stuff now. None of it makes sense. You don't make sense. I don't know why you're sledging me now. You've got no hair on your head, Ben. Mate, why are you abusing me?

Come on. You started this saying I was an inspiration to you. Yeah, I mean, none of it. You're a bull wanker. Okay. Okay, on with the show. Nella Zissa, competitive eater. She's're a bald wanker. Okay. Okay, on with the show. Now, Lizissa, a competitive eater. She's just broken a record regarding chicken nuggets.

Enjoy the podcast. Hate you, you bald prick. The radio version of Morning Breath. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, I mentioned a few, well, it was probably a couple of months ago that it was a Thursday night about 9.30 as I'm putting Poppy, my daughter, to bed.

She's like, oh, I need to get some snails for a school project tomorrow. And I was like, kids just have no concept of deadlines. This information could have been passed on at four in the afternoon. You know, I know you've suffered the same fate. I know, many times. Even taking them to school when I used to do that last year and getting there and you go, oh, BTW, it's Athletics Day today.

You're like, what? What does BTW mean? Yeah. It's like we get to school and you're like, well, you could have told me this at any stage over the morning. Now I've got to go back home. But they say it so casually.

Yeah. Like they're not even panicked by it. I know. They're like, this is on today. Why did you not know this? It's like, well, you could have passed this information on. Yeah. Oh, I've got a project due tomorrow

which involves half a dozen snails. I haven't done it yet. By the way, you can go out and do it. So I've spent, well, you could have passed this information on. Yeah. Oh, I've got a project due tomorrow, which involves half a dozen snails. I haven't done it yet. By the way, you can go out and do it. So I've spent, you know, I was up till like 11.30 at night trying to find snails. Well, the latest one is she's trying to start a worm farm. Right. Poppy.

So at the moment, I've got no worms. And every day she comes home, she's like, you got a worm today? I was like, oh, no. I've got nothing. The worms, they're comes home, she's like, you got a worm today? I was like, oh no, I've got nothing. The worms, they're everywhere when you don't want them. When you go hunting for them, the early bird's gone and caught them

and they're nowhere to be seen. I'll be digging up the garden. And so I've got this glad container of moist, of moist into the dirt that just sort of sits in there. So the farm's ready. Oh right, so the dirt's ready to go. I feel fraudulent even calling it a farm

it's just a glad container full of moist moist dirt so I didn't I still love a dirt in Auckland it's probably worth 3.4 million or something like that

I'm actually putting it on sign Bailey on the online Bailey's are selling it this afternoon at auction I'll just see how it goes

for a property you can put it on the spot mind you if you're a worm and you see some schmuck like me wandering around with a glad container of dirt, you're like, oh, I know what's coming here. School project time. And they don't want to spend the rest of their days

slowly suffocating in a glad container. Oh, exactly. Yeah, in a small little inch by inch square of dirt. My daughter Indy was much like your daughter Poppy. You know, loves the thought of having insects as pets One day she had a spider in her room She named the spider She made a little bed area for the spider

It was just roaming around It was a free range spider It was going everywhere in the room It was like, do you want me to put that spider outside? She said, no, no, no, I love it I named it, gave it all sorts of names I love that spider But then when she went to sleep

She was like, I can't sleep in the room. There's a spider in the room. I thought you loved it. Yeah, all day long you ever said this is your pet spider. Now you won't go to sleep in the room because there's a spider crawling around the walls. Was it a D-Longlegs? Yeah, I think it was a Daddy Longlegs.

But we couldn't fight again. At night time, you're like, well, let's find out where the spider's gone. I don't know where it's gone. He goes. He's like, you could have killed me. You had all day to do it. You had all day to swap me and you didn't take it. Do you find every spider

that you find, you're like, it's a white tail. Do you say that every time? It's a white tail. So apparently, I've found so many white tails in our house and we're riddled with them. Are they actually white tails or not? No, I don't know. You just like to say it for dramatic purposes, don't you?

Do you do that? Apparently, Daddy Longlegs keeps the white tails away. So I'm quite happy having a Daddy Longlegs in the corner of my room, just as long as it keeps those black little buggers away. Yeah, no, the Daddy Longlegs, apparently the most poisonous spider in the world. But it just doesn't have the facilities to distribute it. Really?

Yeah, it's venom. That's a shame for the Daddy Longlegs. He'd be like, you know what I'm packing in here? I'm packing some heat. I just can to distribute it. Really? Yeah, it's venom. That's a shame for the long legs. He'd be like, you know what I'm packing in here? I'm packing some heat. I just can't unload it. Wouldn't it be? It's such a plastic little thing and we just crunch, snap, we whack it with books don't we? He's like, I could get you really

bad. I don't know how to do this, but if I could work this out, I could. This is your new breakfast. Health Star rating still pending. It's Jorowen Manomahet. Now Cross Church Barber Matt Brown has launched a very powerful campaign called She Is Not Your Rehab with his

son Angelo. You would have seen it on social media. It's been shared around. They've delivered a really heartfelt message and a plea to The Rock, Dwayne Johnson to get on board and support the cause. Dear Mr Rock, my name's Angelo Brown and I'm five years old. I live in Christchurch, New Zealand. My dad is Samoan, so I'm pretty sure you're his cousin.

I thought I'll send you a gift. It's a T-shirt. I think you are the strongest man on the planet that many men look up to. If you wear this T-shirt, then I think they will listen to you. And we can help houses everywhere be violence-free. Yeah, it's an awesome video that they've made,

really powerful, and everyone's been sharing it with the hope that Dwayne The Rock Johnson will see it. He'll hopefully wear a t-shirt and he'll help spread the great message of anti-violence in households, not just in New Zealand but right around the world. And overnight, The Rock, Dwayne Johnson

yesterday evening shared the video and has responded and we've got Matt Brown joining us on the phone right now. Matt, how's it doing? How you doing? Pretty awesome that The Rock has seen your video. Good, thank you, brothers. Oh, mate, what a coup overnight. D to the T to the R, Johnson.

Yeah, Dwayne Johnson has seen the video. He's reposted it, and obviously it got him quite emotional watching it by the sounds of it. Yeah, definitely overwhelming. You know, one of the biggest influencers in the world. The biggest Polynesian star, of course. Sharing our little campaign video. And he wrote your son a letter.

Yeah, oh my gosh, that was very, definitely pulled on the heartstrings. I was reading it last night on his social media. It was bringing a tear to my eye. Just knowing how much this would mean to your campaign and your cause and your son. It must have been quite emotional. Yeah very emotional I sat last night

with my mother and I read her the letter and she just teared up. Because he said we should read the letter It sounded like The Rock was quite emotional when he watched the video as well, too, which obviously touched him enough to post it as well, which is amazing.

Yeah. This is what he said. I feel like you should probably be reading this, not me, but have you got it handy, Matt? No, not in front of me, sorry. Well, listen, I'll take it. I kind of half read. It says, Angelo, it's Uncle Rock.

Yes, I'm your uncle because of course all of our Samoans are related. I'm very proud of you, son. You don't understand yet because you're too young. Just know how courageous and inspiring you are

to myself. You don't understand yet because you're too young. But to just know how courageous and inspiring you are to myself and our ainga.

But now to the world. I admire your father greatly for standing up and creating. She is not your rehab. And to make sure his mum, your nana, will never be forgotten, encouraging men all over the world to treat our women with respect, love and most importantly, violence free. The way you sit with your nana, with your nana's arms, as she speaks to you is

the exact same way I would sit with my grandma's arms when I was your age. While she said her prayers in Samoan to God and then she'd talk to me afterwards just like she talks to you. She would tell me the exact things that your nana is telling you. Listen to her and always remember her words. You stay strong Angelo and keep listening to your nana and your parents. One day you will become the leader of your ainga and also a leader the world will admire. And tell your sister the shop's showing you pictures of me wearing a fanny pack.

That's very cool. He said my office is going to reach out and connect with your family. Did he do that? Yes, he said that. Oh, that's awesome. That's so cool. They sent us his address,

and so the T-shirts, they should be over there by now. That's so, so, so special. I'm so happy for you. Thank you, gentlemen. Yeah, it's a wonderful thing that you're doing for the world right now, and it's great that The Rock has seen that and he's spreading your message worldwide. Yeah.

Yeah, crazy. So, yeah, crazy. So, Matt, can you explain what your cause is all about? Yeah, so we just, this year, our goal, our goal with all our mahi and messaging at She Is Not Your Rehab is to change the narrative around domestic violence. So we ask ourselves, you know, how can we engage people to have hard conversations

in palatable ways. And for White Ribbon Day this year, my own mother's story was close to my heart, and I know hers is similar to many other Polynesian women. And so I just feel it's time for Pacific men in our communities to stand up and say no more. And, you know, I say Pacific men because I'm Pacific Island, but I know all men need to stand up. And for us, there's no one better to lead that than The Rock himself. You know, for many of us, he was a superhero growing up,

so I thought if he would support this kaupapa, this movement, then Polynesian men would listen. Tell us, obviously you grew up around domestic violence. That was, as you say, it's part of your story. Is breaking the cycle, is that a tough thing to do? Because if it's all you've known, I imagine going against the grain and having that huge lifestyle shift would be quite challenging at times. Very challenging.

You know, the journey of healing is very painful because you sometimes have to visit some of that past trauma and retell yourself, reparent yourself, and remind yourself that you are no longer that young child, that you are older and wiser and have more options and opportunities to get the help that we need. Sadly for my mother, she didn't have many options back in her time. My mother, you know, our shared trauma,

the family violence we were subjected to, witnessing her subjected to abuse that I thought would kill her, watching her be a rehab for a man, my father, who I do love, but he never did any work to heal himself. Her eyes, my mum's eyes were always so sad and they will always stay with me. So that's my motivation and why I do this work and hold space for men to heal because I wish someone had done that for my dad. It must be such a conflicting thing for a child too to see

an individual who you say you love he's your dad of course you love him but then also cause so much pain to the family as well it must be such a conflict of emotions Oh definitely and you know I always say children are awesome recorders but terrible interpreters you know you have to navigate it's almost like you're spending your adult life

navigating and trying to make sense of your childhood. Mate, what a wonderful thing you're doing, Matt. You're a truly inspirational Kiwi, my friend. So thank you for all the hard work you're doing. Thank you, boys. Appreciate it. If people want to get more information, where can they find you on social media?

They can just search up on Instagram or Facebook She Is Not Your Rehab or if they want to support the Co-Pop and the movement, visit our website, SheIsNotYourRehab.com, and the T-shirts and all the merchandise will be on there for sale. You keep up the good work, buddy. You're a great person, and Merry Christmas. Thank you, bud. Some people skip breakfast, the meal, and also this show.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. When we come to work, our alarms go off at a disgusting o'clock, don't they? Yeah. No, none of us, Gigi, you don't enjoy waking up to your alarm, do you? No, no. No matter how relaxing your alarm is, it's always a bit of a punish waking up before.

Well, you try and set the alarm on your, normally on your phone. They go, oh, I'll enjoy waking up for this. But over time, you'll just end up hating it. Yeah, you try and choose the most peaceful, soothing, ease you into the morning alarm. But you're right, you know, after six months, you'll just end up hating it. Yeah, you try and choose the most peaceful, soothing, ease you into the morning alarm. But you're right, you know, after six months,

you're like, all you want to do is throw that phone through the window. So we've got something here for all those people who can buy an album now and relive the joy of waking up every morning. This is a live script. Bedboys, you've got your parts, Juliet. We've just gone from one failed thing and we're going to put another in there? Am I kidding? Is Prior going to chalk up none from two?

We're about to find out. So we've got a live script. Juliet, you're going to be playing the sound effects live. Yeah, yeah. You've got a bit of an involvement in this too, Ben Boyce. Yeah. As do I. And this is...

Rise and Shine. Now, that's what I call Phone Alarms Volume 1 is out now. Featuring all of your least favourite alarm anthems, including By the Seaside. Nothing makes you feel less like you're by the seaside than being woken up by, by the seaside. And if you need something to uplift you out of your comfortable bed, then uplift your spirits with Uplift.

God, I hate that one. Jen's got that one on my wife. These bedside bangers will have you banging your phone bedside, literally. Uh-oh, something's on the radar, and it gets you out of a cosy bed to default setting radar. These are all the sounds you know. It's time to get woke, people. It sure is a rough opening to your day,

especially with the musical masterpiece that is opening. These bedside baggers are sure to give you PTSD, post-traumatic sleep disorder. You can get your pre-daylight party peeking with some Beacon. It's not your normal morning breath leaving a bad taste in your mouth. That's these obnoxious anthems. Take two of that, Lyle. Okay, you fluffed it. It was going so well until then.

I'm trying to pull it back. We're nearly at the finish line. Take two. Okay, we'll edit this bit out. Sorry, it's not your morning... Okay, it's not just your morning... That's it, just. I forgot the word just.

Okay, it's not just your morning breath leaving a bad taste in your mouth. It's these obnoxious anthems. You hate these songs first thing in the morning. Now hate them all day. With now that's what I call alarm volumes. Volume alarms, volume one. It was 80% there, wasn't it?

80% there. Good rehearsal. I reckon we'll nail it when we do it live. Yeah, well, that was live, but anyway. Wake up and smell them. Actually, no, please don't smell them.

That's odd. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Nala Zissa, she's a young Kiwi who is one of the world's top competitive eaters and she recently broke

a world record, a Guinness world record involving chicken nuggets. Hey guys, it's Nala here and I'm about to take on a Guinness world record. How many chicken nuggets can you eat in one minute? So that's only 60 seconds, but I'm just going to eat as many as I can,

and yeah, hope you guys enjoy the video. Shocking mic issues there. It's amazing what she can do, though. It's really incredible. A few years before that, we actually helped Nella send Nella over to the world's premier eating competition. It's known as the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating World Champs, where she had to qualify to get a spot in America, and she had to eat as many hot dogs as she could in 10 minutes. And winning for the ladies' division is 17 Nathan's Famous Hot Dogs in One.

From Wellington, New Zealand, at 97 pounds, Nella Scissor, round of applause. She could eat you out of house and home. Literally, she could eat your curtains and your doors. And she joins us in the studio right now. Great to see you again, Nella. Nice to see you guys again. It's been a while since we've seen you. It's been a long time, like four years.

But it's awesome to see you still, you know, you're a competitive eater, among other things, and you've just broken a Guinness World Record. Yep. So what did you eat? Chicken nuggets. So it was the most chicken nuggets eaten in 60 seconds, right? Yeah, and you had to have a clear mouth at the end of it as well.

So how many nuggets did you go through? These are bigger nuggets. I got through 16, which was pretty good, I thought. In a minute? Yeah, in a minute. Are you even chewing them, or are you just boom, down the throat? I probably swallowed one or two whole, to be honest. Yeah, it's a talent.

It's a talent that you'd usually say, well, this will serve you no good in life, but this has actually served you very well in life. Because I remember four years ago we sent you over to the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Championships in New York, which is the most prestigious competitive eating event in the world, right? Yeah. And you did pretty well over there. Yeah, no, I think I ended up getting fifth place, which was pretty cool. So, people who haven't seen it before,

they have how long to eat as many hot dogs as they can? So, it's 10 minutes. And the hot dogs are actually quite small, though. But, like, the guy who ate the most of them, I think he ate, like, 72. Yeah, and he's the bread and the hot dog as well. You watch it, it's traumatic to watch. Oh, yeah, no, it's absolutely traumatic. Like, I watched it once, I was, like, right in front of them,

and all the, like, shrapnel being thrown around. Shrapnel, meat. Terrible. Oh, yeah, they look like they're in a lot of pain. And then I imagine afterwards, this is a question that you probably get asked a lot, but after you do one of these eating feats, is it painful afterwards?

Do you spend, like, one or two days depending on it? It depends. Like I never pushed myself to that point anymore. Like I probably did a lot when I started out because I was like more into like doing big challenges. But now I never push myself that far. It's just not worth it. These are finely tuned athletes. They are.

They are. In a way. It's a sport, right? It is a sport. Yeah. So let's go through some of the things that people don't know you. What are some of the things that you've done? What are your most popular eating challenges?

I ate 22 Big Macs in an hour. 22? Yeah, 22. What? Was the hour the limit or you were like, I just can't go to 23? That was the limit. So it was like a challenge that a lot of YouTubers were doing. They were eating like how many Big Macs?

You've eaten a whole tub of Nutella? I've eaten two tubs of Nutella. Two tubs of Nutella? I've eaten two tubs of Nutella. Two tubs of Nutella. With a spoon like yogurt. Yeah. Nutella will get rather sticky. It does get a bit sticky, but I like Nutella, so it's cool. So how do you stay healthy?

Because I imagine you must eat a lot in a short space of time when you're doing it. And then in between, do you fast or what do you do? Yeah, so I do intermittent fasting. So I normally won't eat breakfast or like lunch or I'll eat that and then I won't eat later on. I'll kind of, you know. You've got big gaps between your meals. Yeah.

I mean, you have to when you're eating a 19-gauge burrito. Exactly, you've got to give it some time to, you know, get through your system before you stuff anymore. What I found amazing is that, you know, what you would imagine in your head would be a successful competitive eater physically, a body maker, is not actually what all of the competitive eaters are they're usually rather slim skinny people

yeah you're definitely better off being slim because then you've kind of got more room for your stomach to expand because if you're a big person then obviously like you've got a lot of internal fat you don't have a lot of room for your stomach to go they train wouldn't they for something like Nathan's hot dogs they have to train themselves

all those people over there, they train. You guys remember when we trained, we trained quite a lot for that. We trained not well. Thanks for including us as part of your training team. We played no part, really. You guys were terrible coaches. We did. We were like, keep eating.

Thank you for trying. Eat faster, but don't choke. That was some of the main things we'd tell you. Good advice, though. Nella's listening with us. She's a competitive eater. She's just broken the world record. Now, Nella, you go around radio stations all the time,

and people make you do eating challenges. I'm not going to make you do that. Oh, no. Okay. I love those. Eat that computer. Okay, let's go. I've got an eating challenge for my friend here, Jono.

Oh, here we go. Now, this is one that you like. Now, if we can just hold that from Jono for one second. Now, Jono, shut your eyes. It looks red. Now, bring this in, Producer Humphreys. Now, I want you to tell without Jono. Now, Jono, it's not fast eating because you have to be a professional.

So we want to be healthy and safe here. We don't want you to eat fast. But you've got to take one bite of this, Jono, and you don't even have to swallow it. What is that? Would you take one bite of this? I'd take a bite. You'd take a bite of this? There you go. you don't even have to swallow it. What is that? Would you take one bite of this? I'll take a bite. You take a bite of this?

Yes. There you go. There's two people that would take a bite. What is it? In fact, I will take a bite of this afterwards to just show that I won't make Jono do anything that I couldn't do. So here we go. Here's your eating challenge.

It's going to be something I hate. It's the furriest peach that I could find. It's a fluffy, furry peach. It's got nice, it's been cleaned. It's the furriest peach that I could find. It's a fluffy, furry peach. It's got nice, it's been cleaned. It's all cleaned. I haven't touched it. But it's a fluffy. All you need to do is bite your teeth into that fluffy, furry peach.

I've already got goosebumps. We just saw yesterday and I was like, can you give me your fluffiest, furriest, you know, with a nice outside. I'll take a bite. I'll take a bite afterwards. He knows this is my thing. You don't even have to eat it. You don't even swallow it. Not about fast I'll take a bite. I'll take a bite afterwards. I know you will. He knows this is my thing. You don't even have to eat it. You don't even swallow it.

Not about fast eating. Just one bite. I believe in you, John. Don't let me down. It's not that I like the taste. It's the texture. Yeah, that's the texture. I knew this.

This is horrible to my friend here. My nipples are hurt. That's how it happens. I think that means you like it, right? I'm on edge right now. You don't have to. Come on, you can do this. I don't want to bully you into this.

I just thought. Imagine this in HR. He made me eat a peach. Not fast or swallow it. Just had to bite into a peach. It's furry on my lips. It's the texture. Yeah, Jon has often talked about the texture of a peach.

He doesn't even look that furry. Jon O'Brien at the eating challenge. He's doing it, he's doing it. There we go. Almost hung. Almost hung. There we go. So have you seen an eating challenge as impressive as that, Nella?

Oh, no. I've never seen anything like that. No, no. Most people would be like, oh, that's fine. But I understand you. I understand your reasoning. Jono and Ben present the lamest eating challenges. Next, we're going to make him have five plus a day.

There was a lot of saliva for a little bit of food. Sorry, Nella. You didn't need to witness that. Congratulations on all your success so far. Thank you. It's so good to see you still doing that. And yeah, thanks. Nice to hang out with you again.

Yeah, thank you. It was good to see you guys. A big round of applause to Jono for eating a peach. He took a bite of a peach. He actually did. You didn't have to do that. You did. You came through.

Hey, thanks, Nella. Don't forget, competitive eating should only be done by professionals like Nella. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Now, yesterday on the show, we were talking about the longest engagements. Marina, Jackie and Tauranga, longest engagements is what we're talking. What have you got?

We've been engaged 18 years, together 22. I think I'll win this one. And we found out this morning as well, George Clooney, speaking of long time awaiting, when he proposed to Amal, she made him wait for 20 minutes, was it? Yeah, 20 minutes before she gave an answer. Those are valuable seconds. Those are long seconds, aren't they?

That's a long time. Those are seconds that you spend with a room full of strangers in an elevator. That's how long those seconds are. But it kind of reminded me also, talking about long engagements, of a long moment that I experienced at a wedding once. It was probably about 10 years ago I went to a wedding, friends of ours, and when the celebrant asks, do you take this person to be your wife or your husband, I experienced at a wedding once. It was probably about 10 years ago I went to a wedding, friends of ours. And, you know, when the celebrant asked,

do you take this person to be your wife or your husband? He asked the question and then the guy, the mate we know, just waited, just didn't say anything. And it went for quite a long time.

And it went for like, it felt like, you know, in that moment, it felt like an eternity. You're like, has he not heard the question? Does he know that? What's going on? And I said to him afterwards, I said, it felt like an eternity. You're like, has he not heard the question? Does he know that? What's going on?

And I said to him afterwards, I said, that felt like a long time. He said, yeah, six seconds. I was like, okay, well, that's weird. And apparently him and his group of mates had decided that the first person to get married in the group of mates had to wait two seconds before they could say, I do. And then the next person, four seconds. He was the third, so he had to wait six seconds. Oh, so it goes up two at a time.

And I was like, it was going all the way up to 16 seconds for the last person in the group of friends. Great for the inner circle. The wider guest list are left wondering. Yeah. Yeah, no, that's, why are guys always trying to find ways to ruin weddings? I know.

Stag do's. Yeah. Pranks at weddings. Like the wedding speeches too. Some guy, they misreadread They don't read the room Because in that moment You're right It's like

Six seconds is not that long Normally But in that moment When everyone's like Huh? Is he? It just seems like Such a long time

Does the bride know? Yes they all They do I don't think the first time That the bride knew But now they do know Through the group of friends Does the celebrant know?

Is the celebrant like This is awkward Yeah I don't know if the celebr group of friends. Does the celebrant know? Is the celebrant like this is awkward? I don't know if the celebrant gets told. The celebrant will be like, do I need to ask that question again? Do you take this person to be a... I don't think celebrants probably really want to be let in on a wedding prank, do they? They don't seem like the pranky. When I

see a celebrant, they don't look that pranky really. And they still continue it now? Yeah. Well, as far as I know, I haven't been to any of the other weddings but I was like, yeah. Well the good thing is in a few years you can happily turn up five minutes late because you know he'll still be waiting to say I do. Making more late decisions every morning.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Your parents, they get a little bit older, they retire. I know Annie and John, they're flouting around the South Island. Oh, they love going out for lunches, don't you? Your parents, are they? Yeah, now they've gone on a South Island lunch tour. They're going to, yeah, they were at Lake Tekapo last night and now they're going to Arrowtown,

then they're going to Te Ano. Just having lunch everywhere. Just like, that's all they do. They just have lunch and... Well, I guess they're filling their days with lunch, you know? What should we do today? Lunch is a great option. Yeah, that's what they do.

But I look forward to that phase in life, don't you? All you care about is where we're going for lunch and how much wine are we drinking and who's driving home. Those are the biggest problems in your day.

Major concern, right? Yeah, but a friend of mine, I was talking to him on the weekend, he's like, my dad's leading me astray and I was like,

why's your dad leading you astray? Isn't he like in his late 70s? He's like, yeah, he's a nightmare. He's a nightmare.

So he went along to a couple of parties with him, and he just keeps going. He just keeps partying until 7 or 8 in the morning. Oh, so he's retired, is he? He's retired. So he's got work the next day. He's got nothing left to lose. There's no consequences when you're that age.

And they went to a stag do. He was the last one standing until like 8 in the morning. He's like, come on, guys, let's keep going. They're like, oh jeez, I don't know, I'm partied out. But he just wants to keep... That's a great effort though. Huge effort. He's got to the stage where he's like, oh, he's going to get me in trouble with my wife because they go away for

New Year's and they're still up at 7 in the morning. And he's like, Dad, I need to go to bed or else she's going to come down here and I'm going to be in a lot of trouble. So he's like, it's not often you can say your dad's a bad influence on you. How's that? It reminds me of that movie when De Niro's leading

Zac Efron astray and he's his granddad. Oh, bad grandpa. Yeah, same sort of set up. You're right. I wonder if there are other people out there that have got their retired parents leading them astray. Yeah, 0800 that. When have your parents led you astray? Because not always,

you know, they don't always stay the sensible parents. At some point, they check out, they're like, my job's done. And it doesn't necessarily

have to be go out and drinking on the town. It could be just doing an activity. You're like, why did you make me do this? Why are we bungee jumping naked in Queenstown? Yeah.

We apologise in advance. It's Jono and Ben on the Hats. Win with Jono and Ben. Thanks to Sharesies, New Zealand's fastest growing share platform. Shares made easy. Now the hits want to get your Sharesies started and give you the chance to Sharesies with a friend.

Now Sharesies is Shares made easy. Start your investment portfolio with just $5 and there's more than 250,000 Sharesies investors on New Zealand's fastest growing investing platform. You know you can put the keyword HITS in at the moment as a promo code at sharesies.nz and you get a $10 kickstart on your Sharesies investment portfolio which is bloody good.

Yeah, expires on the 13th of December. Teas and Seas apply. Teas and Seas, I love how you said that. Teas and Seas apply. That's a good way to do it. You always have to mumble the Teas and Seas apply. Teas and Seas apply. Yeah, Teas and Seas apply. That's a good way to do it. You always have to mumble the T's and C's apply. T's and C's apply. Yeah, T's and C's apply.

When I hear the word shizzies, it just takes me back to a traumatic period in my college years where we had the tuck shop. And you'd always buy something from the tuck shop and then people would pounce on you like sort of seagulls and be like, shizzies, shizzies. I've got a three centimetre long sausage roll. How much of this do you want?

Inevitably you end up with 0.5 of a centimetre of sausage roll for lunch, but we'll go to Fiona in Hamilton. Morena, Fiona, and welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Morena, guys. How are you? I'm doing all right. Now, you heard the Shazzy's Q2 call, and you've just won for ringing up on 0800.

That's a $500 Shazzy's gift voucher, right? So easy. Thank you. I don't want to say we've made your day. No, you have. Oh, great. Yeah. Great.

I was leading you into that. That felt forced, but yeah, not from us. Why don't you tell us that we've made your day, Fiona? Oh, you've made my day, Jono and Ben. Have we made 2020 for you? Oh, nearly, nearly. Have we undone all the bad work the pandemic did? Yeah, I don't know.

I think Santa's going to do that one for me. Oh, that's nice. Okay, well, now you get a chance to get another $500 Sharesies gift voucher for a friend. Who do you want to Sharesies with? My best friend, Sianae. She's been amazing and been there through thick and thin, so her definitely. All right, well, let's see if Sianae will answer the phone. If she doesn't, it'll just be you walking away with $500. She has his gift voucher and we will never speak of this again

so Sianae doesn't find out, okay? Will she answer? Yes, she will! Yeah, it's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. Oh, hi guys, good morning. Hey, lovely to have you on. Now, we have your friend Fiona and she's got a terrible dark secret to tell you about your friendship.

It's all been a lie. Over to you, Fiona. No, no, don't listen to him. No, we just ring up to her. Because you answered the phone, you've just won a $500 gift voucher from Shazzy's. Yay! Oh, does that mean half of me?

Oh, you're $500 each. I? Yeah, yeah. $500 each. I? Yeah, yeah. Sharesies were sharesies all around. Oh, my God, thank you so much. You've just made my morning. I'm literally taking my son to school, so thank you so much. No worries.

What did you say was major year? 2020? Yeah, it's been a shitter. Yeah. Have we undone all the bad work the pandemic did? Nearly. Nearly. Nearly.

There we go. It's good. It's just good to put things in perspective. Hey, well done, you two. And enjoy your shares and enjoy investing. Have a wonderful Christmas. Thank you. Thank you so much.

And Merry Christmas to you and your families as well. Oh, see you guys. And don't forget, you can head to sharesies.nz, sign up with the promo code HITS to get a $10 kickstart on your new Sharesies investment portfolio. Like starting your day with Panda Eyes. It's Jono and Ben on the HITS. Bye. your new Sharesies investment portfolio. Like starting your day with Panda Eyes. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Bye.

Thanks to Sharesies, New Zealand's fastest growing share platform. Shares made easy. All right, New Zealand, here's a celebrity update that is slightly more up to date than a woman's magazine and less up to date than the internet. So in relevance, it's sitting somewhere in the middle. Here's Juju, a spy. Thank you.

So George Clooney has given a little bit of an insight into his proposal to Amal. And when they were dating, they never discussed marriage. And I don't know whether that's normal for couples to not discuss marriage or whether they do. It's probably, you know, some do, some don't. But when he did propose, it was a surprise to her completely. She wasn't expecting it. And she took 20 minutes to say yes. 20 minutes to say yes to George Clooney?

Yes. Most people would have packed up, left their families, and flown on a plane to Italy if George Clooney had proposed to them in 20 minutes. Yeah, true. That's a good point. But would that be really scary for a guy's point of view? Well, I'm just wondering, was he there on his knee the whole time? Because he would have got those carpet marks on your knees. Yeah, I'm just wondering, was he there on his knee the whole time because he would have got those carpet

marks on your knees? They all got sore knees. It wasn't on carpet, like a wooden floor or something. Yeah, George Clooney would have wonderfully polished wooden floors, wouldn't he? With the finest woods of the forest. Yeah, you're right, Ben. So he'd have very sore knees. And was he continuing

on conversation, trying to convince her, or was it just deathly silence? Well, it didn't actually say, but that actually reminds me. My dad, when he proposed to my mum, he was taking her down to Hooker Falls near Taupo and he was too scared to wait. So he just pulled over into this Bundy driveway and just proposed in the car.

And mum sat in silence for about five minutes before she was just like yes! Because she just like was freaking out. It was the worst proposal but you know it all went wrong because he was just too nervous and had to get it done over the way. I fluffed mine as well. I just said yeah we're in Funga Matar

and it was breakfast and I was like I'll try and catch her off guard. So I'd made Marmite toast and I put the ring on Marmite toast. Oh no. She choked on it. She choked on it, yeah. After I gave her the Heimlich, I said,

BT Dubs, do you want to marry? She's like, well, yeah, I guess so. Now I've swallowed the ring. I'm kind of, I'm tired. Now, how did you propose?

We were actually on our OE in Italy. So, you know, thank you to Rome. Oh, George Clooney over here. Thank you to Rome for putting on a wonderful setting. You were on one knee for 20 minutes? Yeah, oh, not for 20 minutes, but yeah, I went on one knee outside the Trivia Fountain in Rome,

a beautiful fountain there. But then all these people there, these people trying to sell flowers and all sorts of stuff for the tourists, and as soon as they see someone on one knee with a root, they're like, this guy is going to buy so many flowers. You want flowers, flowers, flowers? Yeah,

and I'm like, oh yeah, so we had to kind of contend with that for a while. And you both ended up and I went to Rome and all I got was

this t-shirt, t-shirts, novelty tourism t-shirts as well. Yeah, pretty much. Oh, you old romantic.

Yeah, well, was there a crowd there and were they like, woo? Was it like a movie? Yeah, there was a crowd, yeah, there a crowd there and were they like, woo? Was it like a movie? Yeah, there was a crowd.

Yeah, there was lots of people around, but then people kind of did notice at the end. Yeah, yeah. So they kind of were, yeah, a little bit of a, you know. A smattering of applause. Yeah. Yeah, nothing like a Friends episode or something where the whole cafe stands up. Well, no, you don't want to take that risk of like, go, hey, everyone, crowd around, watch this, just in case you're waiting for 20 minutes. People are like, I've got to go.

I've got to like a train to catch or something. Yeah, she for 20 minutes. People are like, I've got to go, I've got a train to catch or something. Yeah, she's definitely not going to marry you. I've got to go to work. And that is Spy. For more, you can check out thehits.co.nz. Lou in calories and Lou in laughs. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Ready to go?

We're on the countdown to Christmas. It's a good feeling. This is Bublé. Have we wheeled out Bublé? Yeah, Bublé comes out like Santa every December. Does Bublé release any non-Christmas related music? He does. He's really good.

He does a lot of great covers of Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin and the like. And then he also has his own. Yeah, he's got some great songs. Yeah, he owns Christmas, doesn't he? I think he's got more of a claim on Christmas than Santa Claus. He could be at a court case going on there. So it is the countdown to Christmas. And so, Ben Boyce, what we wanted on there. So it is the countdown to Christmas and so Ben Boyce,

what we wanted to do is have our own little countdown to Christmas. Jono and Ben's countdown to Christmas. Jono's countdown to Christmas because I feel like I've been, I don't know what the countdown's on today. All I've been told is just banter around it, which I'm fine with. Yeah, that's the radio show, isn't it?

Just banter around it. I'm fine with it. Yeah, before I can claim that it's Jono and Ben's countdown to Christmas, I don't know what we're counting down today. Yeah, well, today we're counting down the top three Christmas table treats. As voted by? As voted by me. Oh, yeah.

So Jono and Ben's countdown to Christmas. As voted by Jono. Yeah. Okay, now. Good, we've got the criteria done. And number three. With 15 different types of meats on offer on the Christmas meat market,

we may be celebrating the birth of Jesus, but also the demise of many animals. Oh, yeah. It's a lot of, yeah. That's a fact. No one likes to think about that. Oh, yeah. Well, let's not gloss over it.

This is the harsh reality of Christmas, isn't it? Now, let's pour some gravy out for our fallen homies. But we're paying homage this time to the table turkey, the Christmas turkey. Like a chicken on steroids, it's Dwayne the Rock Johnson of the domesticated bird community. We just love to gobble down a gobble gobble. And throughout the year,

this humble turkey leads a pretty peaceful existence in New Zealand until December, when the driest of all white meats gobble, gobble. And throughout the year, this humble turkey leads a pretty peaceful existence in New Zealand. Until December, when the driest of all white meats is like swallowing a spoonful of sand, which miraculously manages to sap every bit of moisture from your mouth. The turkey in at number three on the table. Would you agree with the turkey?

Yeah, I mean, it's something that comes out at Christmas time more in New Zealand on the table. We don't really have Thanksgiving here in New Zealand, which is traditionally in America. I've never had July turkey. No. No.

At number two, the dessert table. There's no room in your stomach to fit it, but on Christmas you force this down your mouth. Notable mentions must go to the humble Christmas tart, the always controversial Christmas pudding, whether it's laden with nuts or those weird green chewy bits. Or coins, which for a while there, my grandparents were trying to realize it was a safety issue.

Putting coins in the Christmas pudding. Yeah, yeah. Now, apparently that's a safety no-no. Yeah. Yeah, like, go through. Oh, I got 10 cents. You're like a normal person. How many eggs did they go by before they figured it was a safety no-no?

Yeah. I think safety and also I don't think coins are very hygienic and there's a lot of issues with putting them in there. Not in this post-COVID environment. No. No, but I'm going to lock in the traditional brandy snap. Are you a brandy snap fan? Love nothing more than a stressful piece of food.

And when it comes to brandy snaps, it's a race against the clock before the bee snaps go full flaccid. I haven't had a brandy snap in years. I couldn't remember the last time I had a brandy snap. Well, you want to strike within 10 minutes of the cream being injected into the middle. I'll tell you what I get a little bit annoyed with around Christmas is the mince pie. The name, just calling it a mince pie.

It's full of fruit. You know, they're nice. If you went in there for your petrol station mince pie and your mouth was greeted with the fruity mince, yeah. It's conflicting. I'm not saying They're not nice. Just give it another name. Call it the raisin pie or whatever you want to call it. You know, like

sultana pie. It's the mince pie. It doesn't make sense to me, but anyway. And at number one on Jono and Ben's, voted by Jono, top three Christmas table treats. Finally, controversially not a food, but something that provides more joy to the Christmas table than two drunk uncles arguing over your dead grandmother's will. It's the always entertaining and always equally disappointing Christmas Cracker.

It's the centrepiece for a passive-aggressive tug-of-war with the family member next to you. And the cylinder-like treasure chest is full of cheap plastic goods made by cute children locked in a factory in China. With the world's tiniest screwdrivers, the world's tiniest key rings, and the world's tiniest bits of paper with containing comedy content fit for the whole family. The Christmas cracker is number

one on the Christmas table treats. Yeah, well that's interesting those crackers aren't they? What you get out of them? And always a hat that is four sizes too big for your head. I don't know whose head they measured the dimensions for for the paper hat, but it slips down and so he turns from a hat to is four sizes too big for your head? I don't know what, whose head they measured the dimensions for, for the paper hat, but it slips down and slowly turns from a hat to a blindfold during

the duration of the Christmas dinner. And those are the top three Christmas table treats on our Countdown to Christmas. Merry Christmas everyone. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Now sick leave looks like it's going to be doubling here in New Zealand.

To 10 days, the government is starting to implement that. As of today, they're starting to get the paperwork through. So maybe from next year, most people will get 10 days of sick leave. No, don't take sick days, mate. You've just got to keep battling through. That's what I've learned from this year. That's what the old New Zealand would say, right? Even if you feel sick, just go to work and get everyone else sick. That's the good old learned from this year. That's what the old New Zealand would say, right? Even if you feel sick,

just go to work and get everyone else sick. That's the good old way that we've done it for decades. Hundreds of years. It's like a badge of honour, wasn't it? People would be like,

I've never taken a sick day. I keep working through it now with COVID and stuff. Everyone's like, well, go home, mate. Yeah, everyone with a slight cough, get out of the office. You just have to sneeze once,

even just from hay fever or just sneezing and you're like, yeah, go home. Your dairy owner's never taken a day off work, has he? Oh, yeah, it was a long time. I think I spoke to the guy down the road.

Yeah, it didn't take a long time. Ten years or something? Seven days a week? He was open on Christmas Day. Oh, no, that's people working hard. I suppose when you get to that point, it does become a badge of honour, and if you take a day off, you ruin your flawless record.

Yeah. It's probably a thing in your head by that stage, isn't it? Having a holiday would be weird. You wouldn't know what to do with your fingers. But also in employment news as well, we like to keep you updated on employment news. Unilever, the company here in New Zealand, they make the likes

of Lipton tea and Dove soap. Next week, their staff will be working four days a week but paid for five days a week. No! So the four day week. They're going to trial again. So New Zealand's kind of, but paid for five days a week. No. So the four-day week. They're going to trial again. So New Zealand's kind of like the trial for Unilever worldwide. International.

And so everyone's like, don't mess this up, Unilever. This is all on you, New Zealand. Yeah. Wow, that's because I read an article, there's a mechanic in Northland or something doing it, and he reckons the output increased from his employees over the four days. Right.

They got more work done in the four days because they're like, yes, we've got three days off, we'll just go hard as Harry. Do you add another hour to your day during those four days or it's still the same workout? I'm not sure. You'd think they would be trying to work extra hours to make up for it, wouldn't you? I think I remember a company tried it last year,

and so each person would have four days, but there'd still be five days of working week. So, for example, Ben, you might work Monday to Thursday. Jono, you might work Tuesday to Friday. So there's always someone there five days a week, but individually. Great work perk. Great work. I mean, on radio, we've got great work perks. Yeah, we can turn up and

you know, look, I'm wearing track pants today. Now I can look like a weed dealer from Palmerston North. No one judges you on radio, but out in the office, everyone's dressed quite professionally. So I don't really blend in with the wider community. But I don't know if Boss Todd would let us work four days a week on this job. We'll do an extra hour each day to get Fridays off.

He'd be like, nah. Oh, wait a minute. Let's open this up. 4487, what are your work perks? We're going to try and find New Zealand's best work perk. Are you doing a four-day working week? How does it go for you? Do you rate it? You can get in touch with us right now.

Love to get your calls. What are your work perks this morning? Great text here, 4487. I'm a drug tester for our athletes. So I get to experience first hand our nation's most athletic urine. That's a perk, I guess. Isn't it? It would come out faster

and stronger than the rest of us. Another work perk here, I'm working for a well-known retailer. I get to wear different outfits every day. Oh, yeah, that's kind of cool. Yeah, I work for the Inland Revenue. I get to make people feel sad every day. Oh, you made that one up. No, I did.

Lucy, you're on the air. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Well, no, Lucy, sorry, we've got a Steph. Why is your work perking you, Luce? Steph. Steph. Oh, God, I'm having a shocker. Steph, how are you?

I'm good, thank you. How are you? The perk of my job is that everyone gets to hear when I make shocking mistakes. Oh, that's okay. But I work in a bakery, so I never have to bring lunch at all, any day of the week.

And I can sometimes take stuff home to the family. I was going to say, what do you do with the food that's left over at the end of the day? Does it just go to all the staff or you give it to the homeless? Well, a bit of both. We'll often take some home and share it with the family or, you know, give it to the homeless. Great perk. Great perk. Pies and filled cream rolls every day for Steph.

Thank you very much. Charlotte, how's Wellington this morning, matey? You all right? Hi. Hi. Hi. How are you very much. Charlotte, how's Wellington this morning, mate? Are you all right? Hi, hi. Hi, how are you? Good, how are you? You sound sprightly and adorable. What's your work perking?

I work at a seafood market, and so sometimes if there's fish left over, we get to take it home and have fresh fish for dinner. Oh, that's good. And you constantly smell like fish, too. That's another perk. I make up for that. Smell like the ocean. That's good. Oh, that's good. And you constantly smell like fish too. That's another perk. I make up for that. Smell like the ocean.

That's good. Well, seafood's not cheap. No. No, that's good. Love it. Lucy, you're on the air from Auckland. What's a perk of your job? I work at a sound and lighting company,

so I get to see free concerts. Oh, that's a good bit of it. But is it kind of like work? Because you're in work mode. Sometimes, you know, I'll just be an extra hand so I get to actually see it. Oh, so you don't have to do, you don't have to put the sound and lighting up.

You just have to make sure the sound and the lighting is looking good at all times. I can see and I can hear. And I can hear it from the bar over there and I can see it quite well from there. Great work, Perky. You go and have a wonderful Tuesday, Lucy. Thanks for listening.

Thank you. Appreciate it. Wake up full of shame. Wake up with these guys. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Kia ora, I'm Ash Thomas, and this is The B***ing News. Yes, Juju, our wonderful producer, scours the internet for the world's quirkiest stories known to radio.

Then she beeps out certain words, and we've got to try and figure out what the headlines are. All right, you ready for your first one? So we've got an Austrian town that's got an unfortunate name. Yeah. Ellen DeGeneres. The most evil of all the towns. I'm sorry, I don't want to take a cheap shot at Ellen.

You just did, mate. Even apologising now doesn't change anything. I've been the only one sticking up for her, going, hey, what's she done to you? No, but I love it. Now you've come on board. You're joining us on the hate train. Yeah, I know.

She is a monster. She's not a monster. I'm going to say Austrian town called Testacularville had to change its unfortunate name. Not quite. Austrian town called theille had to change its unfortunate name. Not quite. Austrian town called the F word finally changes its unfortunate name. It's been like that for a thousand years.

So it's actually the swear word. It's the swear word with ing at the end of it. Wow. And they've changed the C and the K to Gs now. And obviously this town, if you think back in the day, so it's sort of the same. It's still the same. It's even funnier now because it's almost the swear word.

Yeah. But if you think back on the day, it was fine being called that town before the internet. But then the internet came along and tourism boomed and people would go to this town, take photos, people hunted it out. But yeah, it's weird. I've got a bakery down the road from me which is

FU Bakery. But it's about like there's some letters around the place. That's the message. I see a lot of delinquent youth taking photos of it and putting it on the TikTok. Vaping outside the store and having a good time. Yeah, when there's names like that

in society, you can't help but have a little bit of a chuckle. Next story. Former North Korean gymnast flees the country by... I reckon she said to Kim Jong-un, I'm just going up the road to grab some milk, and never returned. I reckon she did a cartwheel into a handspring and then a dismount.

That's how she fled the country. Former North Korean gymnast flees the country by pole vaulting over border. Oh, you were close. Very close, eh? So the guards didn't catch this gymnast flees the country by pole vaulting over border. Oh, you were close. Very close, eh? So the guards didn't catch this gymnast. And I think it was actually he, the gymnast. He didn't get caught for about 14 hours.

He was in South Korea just chilling. And then they hunted him down and he's being investigated. But I applaud him for that sort of situation. Who did we speak to that went to North Korea? Oh, the Lego guy. We spoke to the brick man, the Australian brick man, who's got a Lego exhibition on the museum now. He went and played with Lego with the North Korean kids.

He said it was the most surreal experience of his life. It would be very surreal. Yeah, all right. Then they all got rounded up and taken away from their families afterwards for having too much fun. That's a fact. Let's move on. Captain Sir Tom Moore has launched his own...

His own gymnasium for very slow walking. Painfully slow, tortoise-like walking. His own line of walkers, I'm going to say. You know how he walks around with his little walker? True, true. Maybe he's got his own Tom Moore walker. It's something that might surprise you. Captain Sir Tom Moore has launched his own gin. Gin?

His own gin. Oh, gin. I thought I got it. No, his own gin company. And all the proceeds go towards his foundation, fit all the charities and stuff like that. She's a wonderful champion. Behind the scenes,

we're meant to have had about six interviews with Captain Tom Moore, but we always have to work around his sleeping. And also the fact that he's in the UK. He's in the UK, but he's like, oh, he'll be asleep then.

Every time we try and reach out a new time, no, no, he'll be asleep then. And then we're asleep. He's working around our sleep. There's a lot of sleep-based issues. Yeah.

So well done him. How old is he now? He's 100. 100? Yeah, he's 100. Oh, mate. Go sir, Captain Tom. Yeah, So well done him. How old is he now? He's 100. 100? Yeah, he's 100. Oh, mate. Go Sir Captain Tom. Yeah, absolutely.

What a champ. He's done more this year than I've done in an entire lifetime, that guy. I'm proud of him. Are you proud of him, Ben? Yeah. He's amazing. Almost wish he was a New Zealander, I was going to say. Just so it makes it even cooler.

Yeah. No, well done, Sir Captain Tom. I think we can all agree we love that cute, adorable elderly man. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. I drove home yesterday and I experienced something that, as a child you love, but as an adult you realise you still love it. Going through a tunnel.

Don't you love a tunnel? They're okay. You don't love tunnels? No, I wouldn't go, hey, I always get a little bit frustrated because I like listening to the radio and you go through there and your radio goes. Oh, right, so that's your major issue.

Yeah, yeah. My dad always says a joke about the end of the world is going to be and then the radio cuts out. That's his favourite gag. It's all on timing, that one, though, isn't it? You really need to time that beautifully. But he's not on the radio when he says it, so I'm like, you can just tell me when it's his favourite gag. It's all on timing, that one, though, isn't it? You really need to time that beautifully. But he's not on the radio when he says it,

so I'm like, you can just tell me when it's going to end. But I just drive through it every time, and I'm like, oh, the engineering of a tunnel. That's what amazes me. Sometimes I take the wrong way home just so I get to go through the tunnel. I love it. Yeah, tunnel vision, baby.

And my vision's all positive for it. Wellington love their tunnels it was about tooting in the tunnels I imagine the novelty of that for the pedestrians is probably worn off I've been to walk through a tunnel once

and then Wellington is so loud when people turn because it's in reverb as well yeah when you're in the tunnel driving you're like

you know you're waiting for everyone to wave back but yeah and the problem is with the Vic tunnel in Wellington is it's so close

to the airport. So you've got everyone who's just arrived in town, they're like, oh, we're going through the tunnel. All the way through. Are you allowed to, I don't even think you're allowed to legally toot in a tunnel, are you? No, I think you're meant to toot for like,

obviously like proper reasons rather than just like, I'm in a tunnel, here we go. Comedy reasons. Why is that the first thing that you feel that you need to do when you enter a tunnel? Actually, speaking of traffic related news today, I don't know if you heard, they're looking at bringing in a congestion charge for Auckland in five years' time. So that means every time you enter the city and exit the city, you'll have to pay $3.50.

And they're looking at bringing that in basically during peak hours of 6 to 9.30 in the morning and 3.30 to 7 p.m. at night, and it'd be like a toll system. So you just drive through and it'll pick it up and you'll get charged on your account. They're doing a really good job of making everyone not want to live in Auckland. Every news story that comes out is another reason why you should definitely move out of Auckland

or not even move to Auckland. I think they're trying to coincide it with their whole underground train system that may be here sometime in the next hundred years. Tell you what, if you like sitting in traffic for two hours a day, if you like not having water available, then have we got the city for you. And if you like not being able to afford a house,

jeez, come to Auckland. Auckland's got it all going on. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. I always think he's giving himself a hernia with that last note, Capote. He's pushing his body to the limits there. He have hemorrhoids or something, Capote. Welcome to the A to Z of New Zealand.

We're phoning every town and city in Aotearoa. Where are we heading today, Benjamin Boyce? Just out of Christchurch, aren't we? A little place I hadn't... Look, I lived in Christchurch for a couple of years, but I hadn't heard of this little place, but it looks beautiful. Kairaki Beach is the name of the area, and it's an area full of salt-of-the-earth Cantabrians who have conversations featuring one syllable.

The river supplies plentiful foods. You can go whitebaiting, and you can go clickbaiting in Kairaki. You can do whatever you want. And attached to their hands, the locals' hands, are the callous, sausage-laden fingers that if they shake your hands, I hope you don't want your hand back

because it'll be ripped off. That's how firm they shake there. And we're about to head through to the president of the Kairaki Beach Association. Hopefully he'll answer his phone. Peter Midgley. Yeah. Peter Midgley. Yeah.

Peter Midgley, Kairaraki Beach Association president. Ex-president. Oh, former president. Have you conceded? Yes, I've conceded after 15 years. After 15 years, you conceded. You handed it over peacefully. You don't want to recount? No recount?

No, okay. Yeah, no, no. It's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. We're just ringing every town and city in New Zealand, and apparently you're the guy to talk to. Oh, great. How's Kairaki Beach today? Well, it's fantastic.

I'll tell you what, it's paradise out there. The wine mix looking good. You know, last few days of the whitebait season today. Oh, nice. There's a few whitebaiters out there. How do you catch whitebait? Is it with a net? Net and net, and there's a few secrets. Oh, nice. There's a few white baiters out there. How do you catch white bait? Is it with a net? Net and net

and a few secrets. Very small hooks. Tiny little hooks. And it can do anything. It's the last day today for white baits. Sorry to ask this silly question

but why is the season? Why is it the last day? Do they go somewhere else? Is there less than that? I don't know. It's just fishing game.

It's the end of a season. Tell you what, I was not a fan of the old whitebait. The eyes, they were putting me off. No, you need to fillet them. You need to fillet them. But I did. My father-in-law, who's obsessed with them, he makes the fritters. Oh, yeah, good, yeah.

Oh, they're wonderful, aren't they? Yeah, nothing like a filleted whitebait. So how long have you lived in Kairaki Beach? I've been there for 30 years. Oh, my gosh. About how long, 20 minutes out of Christchurch? Would that be right? Yeah, it would be 20 minutes on the new motorway.

Yeah. I have an analogy about a motorway, which Ben doesn't think is that applicable, but I'd like to get your thoughts on this. Yep, tell me. Life is like a motorway. Yeah. Sometimes you take the wrong exit, sometimes you have an accident,

but you've just got to keep travelling down that motorway. That's a good saying. I must remember that. That's a good saying. Life's like a motorway, eh? Life's like a motorway. Ben's, okay, the car, you can't drive the car. Anyway, no. Ben's not a fan

of it. I'm glad you are. This has got a great response, so I'll hush my mouth. That was well done. Now, Peter, what have you been doing in the area for 30 years? Well, the last 10 years has been a bit of a, you know, we've had an earthquake and half our community sort of

had to move out, rebuilding the area slowly after the earthquake. As a president, what sort of stuff are you having to deal with on the daily? We deal directly with what the community needs and we try and rectify what the community wants. Our association's 90 years old last year, so we're 91 years old this year. And you just said you've handed over the presidency.

Yes, I have. I have. I handed it over a few months ago. And then the new president cutting the mustard for you? Yes, she's doing a wonderful job. Yeah, great. I'd be bad at running something like that. I just don't have the organisational skills. Ben would be good.

Ben's good on the old calendar, aren't you, and the Google Docs? Ben's good. Yeah, look, I don't live in the area, so I can't run for the next election. But he could be a good candidate next time round. Yeah, yeah. We just have, put your hand up and you're on.

Oh, well, this sounds like a wonderful place that you live, Peter, and thank you so much for your time. Yeah, thank you for the opportunity. Not a morning person? Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. It's growing through your feed. Weighing in at 40, 46 kilograms,

barely holding up the newspaper he is reading off. Here's Benjamin Boyce with Scrolling Through Your Feed. A really interesting story to come out of Russia. So a Russian man over 50 years ago wedged a coin when he was a child up his nose. You know all those things that kids do? They, yeah. There was a kid at Oscar and Poppy's school

who had a kernel of popcorn up his nose for six months. Yeah. Didn't even know. If you're eating popcorn with your nostrils, you're doing it the wrong way. Doing it the wrong way. So this little kid was too scared to tell his strict mum that he pushed a coin up his nose.

So he just decided he'd leave it. And 50 years later, he went to the doctor saying, I have a little problem breathing out of one side of my nose. And they looked up there and they went, yeah,

because you've got a coin stuck up there. Did he forget from them when he was a child when he became a fully grown adult? It felt like he did for the fact that he went in

and went, hey, I've just got a little bit of a breathing issue. At age sort of 16, 17, you'd be safe to go, oh, well, listen, mum would forgive me

of this now. I'd say it was years ago. A lot of water under the bridge. A lot of snot up the nose. Actually, backed up the nose. So, yeah, they operated on him. They got the coin out. He's all good.

But the unfortunate thing is the money is no longer used in Russia. So it's because of the collapse of the USSR in 1991. So it's a historic coin. But you can't actually. It's not for legal tender. Have you had anything up your nose? What have you guys been putting up your nose? No, my sister put a Barbie doll earring up her nose,

like from a Barbie doll. Yeah, again, like that, just went and put it up there and then we took her to hospital and one of those situations where they're like, it'll pass and I guess it did eventually. Oh, you'd just blow it out. Yeah, or it'll pass through the system,

I don't know. Because it was tiny, like a Barbie doll. Oh, right up your nasal cavity. You think of an earring for a Barbie doll. Well, you know, it's very tiny. Tell you what you don't realise, having had two COVID tests over the last few months, how far up your nasal cavity goes.

It just keeps going. That rockies. It feels like it goes halfway up your forehead. And I've got a big forehead. I go, no, mine's a five head. There's no hair on it. So it feels like the rod's halfway up the halfway up your forehead. And I've got a big forehead. I go, no, mine's a five head. There's no hair on it. So it feels like the rod's halfway up the top of your forehead. It just keeps going.

So there's a lot of ropey, you're saying. Yeah, the doctor's like, not many people realise how deep your nasal cavity is. You can get a lot of stuff up there. Great storage zone. Including coins. If you ever have your pockets full, just think about your nasal cavity as a storage option.

And this is a lovely story to come out of America. So five years ago just before Thanksgiving which they had last week a grandma in Arizona she sent out a text which she thought was for her grandson saying reminder

Thanksgiving this weekend grandma. And the person replied back going who's this? And she went it's your grandma. And he's like well can I see a photo? Turns out it wasn't his grandma. They both sent photos to each other. He was like and cheekily he just said can I still get a plate? She's like yeah that, can I see a photo? Turns out it wasn't his grandpa. They both sent photos to each other.

He was like, and cheekily, he just said, can I still get a plate? She's like, yeah, that's what grandmas do. So she invited around this 17-year-old kid that she never even knew, came around, and every year for Thanksgiving, he's come around to their house and had Thanksgiving with them. Oh, isn't that lovely? It's a little tradition, yeah. How many years did you say?

Five years ago. So five years, and sadly, her husband has just died due to COVID complications. But yeah, she's carried on the tradition with the guy who's now 22. I love a guy demanding photographic evidence. I need to see a photo. Send me a photo. Well, she's like, it's your grandma. He's like, it's not my grandma. It's the

wrong number. So she sent back a photo. Going, yeah, no, it's not your grandma, but still, can I have a plate? And then she said, yeah, sure. Oh, isn't that lovely? Elderly people are lovely. We've had a lot of elderly coverage this hour. So Tom Moore, so Captain Tom Moore, this lady. You know, give it up for the elderly people.

Sweet, sweet old people. They're like wrinkly babies. I love them. That's how much I love them. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Bye. Thanks to Sharesies, New Zealand's

fastest growing share platform. Shares made easy. I always talk over that lady. She always goes, Shares made easy. I've got to stop talking over her. OMG, LOL, Raffle, Eggplant and other millennial references. Here's Juju, a spy. What have we got? So, Ryan Reynolds, he is from Canada. He's a Canadian and

a petition has been launched to name a street in Vancouver after him, just because the Canadians obviously love him so much. And it's kind of like New Zealand. When we have a celebrity that has done really well, we just absolutely fizz over them, like Lorde and Benny and 616. And Taika. Yeah.

No, do you? Canada and New Zealand are very similar from what I gather. I've never been to Canada, but the people you meet from Canada, you're like, oh, we're kindred spirits, aren't we? Yeah, I agree. And so he saw this and then tweeted the reply saying that he's not really keen to have the street named after him. And at first you're like, why?

That's such a big claim to fame. But then he says, if traffic sucks, everyone will say Ryan Reynolds is a mess or Ryan Reynolds is really backed up. Which is a very fair point. Has he got himself a major arterial root, has he? It's quite a busy street. You want a wee side street or a little...

I'd have a cul-de-sac. Give me a cul-de-sac. There was a boys' cul-de-sac in Blenheim when we went there a couple of weeks ago. Yeah, that's right. You were like, if we had more time, I'd take a photo of that. We didn't have time, though. No. We ended up going to the pub.

We spent our time wisely. We had time to do that. No, we went to the pub and we ordered food that never turned up for two hours, didn't we? Yeah. That's right. If we had a, yeah, anyway, another day, next time I go to Blenheim, I'll get a photo with the boys.

Maybe there's someone in Blenheim who could take a photo of the boys straight and send it to you. Oh, yeah, yeah. Or would you like to be in the photo? Well, I would like to be. We'll Photoshop you in. Yeah. Why doesn't someone

give us the, you give us the blank canvas and then we can insert Ben via green screen into the photo. Okay, that's good for now. Yeah, until then someone go back to Blenheim.

He would like to be in situ. Have you noticed a prior street? No, no. There was always a road, we used to work with Gwai Williams and there's Gwiliams Place

and I always used to send him photos of that and he got no joy out of that. I love it when there's a road named after you. Is there a Rothel? There is one up north, but it's also on the same road as a cemetery. So it says Rothel Road Cemetery and you're like, oh, well, that's a bit morbid, isn't it? Atlanta, there's a Pryor Street. So if you go to Atlanta, just pop over to Atlanta, you can get a Pryor Street.

Or there's a Albert Pry so if you go to Atlanta, just pop over to Atlanta, you can get a prior street. Or there's an Albert prior street out in West Auckland. So if you just stand in front of the Albert part, you can look like it. Use my big bald head to block Albert. Then you're fine. Juliet, what I love about Juliet with her surname is she's like, it's pronounced Rothel like the brothel. You need to find a better rhyming word. But what else rhymes with Rothel? I know it's a fair point. Yeah.

And Elton John, he has said that he owns over 120,000 CDs and 15,000 vinyls, all kept at his home so he can access them all whenever he wants, wherever he wants. But then I'm like, mate, you've got Spotify, Apple Music, streaming services. You can access all of that music via, you don't need to waste space. Well, don't tell Elton because he's held on to his $120,000. I had a big CD, Kel, last year. I had boxes and boxes of them. Oh, many years of radio. I had so many Nickelback CDs.

I had Nickelback's back catalogue 10 times over. But then you're like, I threw them out. And I was like, ooh, as soon as I threw them out, are these going to become like vinyl? You know how vinyl became retro and all? Yeah, I don't know. Have you still got your CDs? No, I pretty much culled most of them because they're on display,

and then they were in the garage. They take a lot of room. Like a lot of house space. Have you ever heard of cassette tape? I have heard of them, but I actually don't know what they look like. Are they the little ones where you open it up and then you put a little tape and then you go... And it closes? Yeah, you go...

It was a wonderful video. That's quite cool, actually. Your technology's not that cool. When they used to have countdowns on radio, they'd have the nightly nine at nine or whatever. You'd record it on your cassette tape and then you'd stop it when the announcer would start talking then you'd record it again, you'd have the ultimate mixtape next day you go to school, you're like, here's a mixtape

for you bro, thanks man love you too, did you make mixtapes with people? Yeah I recorded stuff off the radio the whole time, and then you'd kind of go back too far and you'd record over the end there was all sorts of dramas Is that why you guys say that radio announcers, when they talk all over the intros of the songs,

back in the day, if you were trying to record a song... It's probably quite annoying back in the day. Now you can just go on Spotify or Apple Music and just get the start of the song. Yeah, I get you. But you're right, back then you're like, oh, shut up, Jono and Ben. Trying to record the 99 and 9.

Give it to my girlfriend. That's five more. You can check out the hits.co.nz More painful than your alarm clock It's Jono and Ben on the hits We're about to wrap up our show on a Tuesday And we like to do it with this A feeling good

Why is today going to be a good day? We'd love to hear from you And spread some positivity around New Zealand What you don't realise now Is that Ben and myself Are frantically getting dressed into tuxedos because we need to go and film a company propaganda video with Mike Hosking. But we can't be late.

So we're having to get dressed while we're doing our radio show because Hosking can't believe... The show finishes at 9 but he doesn't want to stay a minute longer. He's out the door at 9.03. So we need to turn up dressed and prepared. And now Juliet, Ben looks after our matching suits that we use. And look at my pants. He has stitched me up and shrunk my pants. The button doesn't do up.

There's been no stitching going on in those pants. Oh, no. There might need to be after I wear them. Why is it going to be a good day for you? We'll head to the phones. Melissa. Melissa's on the air. How are you, Melissa?

Hi, guys. How are you? It's going to be a shocking day for me. My pants are bursting, but why is it going to be a good Tuesday for you? It's going to be a good day for me because my divorce settlement has finally gone through. I don't know. What do you say there? Congratulations? I don't know where I sit. No, like it's not a sad situation at all, me and my ex-husband. I can now say that. We're still good mates. It's just good to get it all done with.

Congratulations. Don't you have to wait a certain period of time? Yeah, you do. Oh, so you've done that and it's all done now. It's all official. Yeah. I'll enjoy that. Ready now, go and sow your wild seed.

Is that what you do? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Look after yourself, Melissa. Have a great day. See ya. Appreciate you listening.

We'll head to Auckland. Claire's on the air. You tell us. You're going to have a good day, are you, Claire? I am. It's the first day of December, which means that my partner's made an advent calendar. So when I get home from work, I can open up the first little present. Oh, what an adorable man.

I wish he was my husband. What does he put in the advent calendar? I don't know. It's a surprise. Ooh. Hopefully something good. Yeah. I was thinking about doing your event calendar

of all the events that you've got coming up before Christmas that you can't forget about. You're like, oh, today's this. Get the annual Rotary Club AGM meeting, school fundraiser on Sunday. Yeah, it's a busy time of year. Well, it's a more useful calendar, isn't it? I forget so many events that are coming up.

I just need the event calendar to be working. And I'm never satisfied with the chocolate from the advent calendar. It's so minuscule, isn't it? Let's go the event calendar. That's wonderful. Hey, have a great day, Clare. Thank you all for listening.

Really do appreciate it. Tomorrow on the show, we're joined by someone who was birthed in their lounge by their mother, obviously, in a room full of complete strangers. Not even the mother knew everyone. It was kind of like a spectator sport almost.

And these aren't like doctors and nurses and obstetricians. These are people off the street who came in and wanted to weirdly witness a childbirth. I was like, is this a legit thing? But apparently it is. So we're going to talk to this person tomorrow and find out exactly what went on. Have a great Tuesday.

We'll catch you guys tomorrow from 6 o'clock. We'll see you then. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from six on The Hits and via the iHeartRadio app. Jono and Ben on The Hits Breakfast.

Friends of Skinny. Happy, happy, happy, oh. Oh.