Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - December 02 - Vince Harder, The Worst Chores Of All Time, Your Present Traditions

Episode Date: December 1, 2020

Kia Ora! On the show today we caught up with singer Vince Harder and played a wee game, he and his wife sang along to some surprise instrumentals we threw at them, like absolute PROFESSIONALS. If you listen carefully, Jono pipes up at the end of one of them, ruining the song... Shhhh Jono! We also found out that Elton John and his family have a ONE PRESENT RULE at Christmas time so we asked you guys about your present traditions. Ben also shared a story about how his daughter Indie fist-pumped at the most bizarre thing. She is one unique child! Enjoy the poddy.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Hello there, welcome to the pod-dy. Do they call it the potty in the podcast game?

Well, I think you can potty, yeah. Sounds like you're going to the potty, don't you? Yeah. Toddy our boss at the Toddy Potty would be good, wouldn't it? Has he ever done a potty? Or Pod Campbell. His last name's Campbell, so, you know. It's almost worth Todd starting a podcast called the Toddy Potty.

Yeah. What does he talk about in his podcast? I don't know. He's Australian. We might talk about the fine red wines from Australia. Yeah. Oh, he's very entertaining, Todd. Yeah, he's a wonderful man. He's a good entertaining, Todd. Yeah, he's a wonderful man.

He's a good boss, Todd. Yeah, he's great. Listen to me sucking up. But anyway, had a fun show this morning. Vince Harder, speaking of Aussie, he came third on Australian X Factor, Vince Harder, Kiwi guy. Yeah. And him and Abby Lee, they happen to be married

and they've done a song together. And Ben, you played a wonderful game with them where you had like a jukebox and they had to sing along with the songs and oh jeez I was impressed how good is that? That was just like we threw songs at them randomly. They didn't have any time to prepare and that's what they came up with.

Amazing. Incredible, yeah. As well as that, we talked to an old friend of ours, comedian Alice Neddon, whose birth, the most unusual birth, I think, ever, right?

Yeah, she was birthed in a lounge with a crowd. It was almost a spectator's event, wasn't it? With the neighbourhood there. 20 odd people in the room. Who was in there will really astound you. You know, have you seen the show on TVNZ2 Big Birthers? Oh no, you were telling me about it the other day. Yeah, so it's sort of larger

ladies giving birth and they've called it Big Birthers. It was a little, yeah, anyway. They're obviously on board with it. Yeah, yeah, which are they? The Big Birthers. It feels a little, yeah, anyway, anyway. They're obviously on board with it. Yeah, yeah, which are the big, big Berthers,

but yeah, it felt like a, is there any reality shows left to make? If they've gone to Big Berthers, I mean, how many spin-offs of cop shows, and trackers, and ice road trackers,

road trackers, Aussie trackers, drunk trackers, you know, so many cop shows, motorway patrol, highway patrol, police 10-7, road cops, farm cops, sketchy cops, Aussie truckers, drunk truckers. Yeah. You know, so many cop shows. Motorway Patrol. Yeah. Highway Patrol. Police 10-7.

Road cops. Farm cops. Sketchy cops. Cops that take bribes. You know, they've just really, you can make a show out of anything. Yeah. Couldn't you? Yeah, people have.

They've even made a reality show about making a reality show. Yeah. That's the ultimate solution. And there's still more. Next one will come out, you know, like when the Lego came out, the Lego show.

And you're like, how are they going to film a whole hour? And you watched it and it was like, this is great. This is a great show, you know,

like it's amazing what they do, you know. Next I'll be making one about dogs. We did that one. Oh yeah. We're hosting that one.

But that's great. But when I watch that back because we filmed it a few months ago, I'm like, geez, they do well at building up the drama, don't they, on reality TV. Yeah. I was like, I was there on the day. It didn't feel that back, because we filmed it a few months ago, I'm like, jeez, they do well at building up the drama, don't they,

on reality TV. Yeah, they do. I was like, I was there on the day. It didn't feel that dramatic, did it? It didn't feel that dramatic. But then there's the... And the cuts. Reactions and all sorts.

Oh, yeah, the looks from people's faces, too. Yeah, they do a really good job. It's an art, isn't it, creating a reality show that captures your attention? Yeah. Celebrity Treasure Island is just a whole bunch of people on an island nothing

doing nothing for a lot of the time they make 18 episodes out of it make drama and stuff well done them yeah anyway what were we talking about

something in the podcast yeah enjoy the podcast just like a chocolate milkshake only white and disappointing it's Jono and Ben on the hits. I don't know if you noticed this, Jono.

You've also got two young kids, the same as me. They? Have you not? Oh, you haven't noticed. Where are they? You haven't noticed. You've got two young kids. Imagine that on Radio Live.

What? What? Oh, I just need to go out on an unrelated matter to do something. But how they pick up, they feel like they've got different parts of your personality coming through in the child. I don't know if you notice that about your kids. No, you do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Poppy, my daughter, is a clone of Jennifer and Oscar

is an absolute clone of me. But then he's got some of Jen's good bits as well. Her lips. The wonderful lips and wonderful cheeks. You kind of notice little wee personalities. I've got two daughters, and both have different parts of Amanda and myself.

But I guess Sienna, the older one, she's probably a bit more like the, you know, we do radio, we do TV stuff. She's a bit more of the show person. You know, she likes being on display. Like I said, she came and did the Christmas parade with us the other day, the Santa parade. She was waving.

She's like, I like attention. I'll come and do this. That's Sienna, which is great. Yeah, well, I like attention. I'll come do this. That's Sienna, which is great. Yeah, well, I mean, we all like attention in this industry, but we're never brave enough

to say it that callously. She's like, I like attention. We come in here every morning, we're like, look at us, listen to us, look at us.

But yeah, she's honest. She's going to make it far in this industry. And he likes that sort of stuff as well. We should just rename our radio show, We Like Attention.

We Like Attention. And he likes that stuff as well. But she's rename our radio show, We Like Attention. We Like Attention. And he likes that stuff as well. But she's also taken up, I think, more the super... I like to be sort of organised, and she's sort of taken on that as well. Would you call it anal? Well, no. No, I'd say super organised, is how I'd describe it.

Would other people call it anal? Maybe, maybe. When it comes to me, maybe. Would other people say pedantic? Yeah. Like, she's eight, and we've talked to us before. When she's tired, she's like, I it comes to me, maybe. Would other people say pedantic? Yeah. Like, she's eight and she's, you know, we've talked to us before. When she's tired, she's like, I'm going to go to bed. Yeah.

She's tired, she puts herself to bed, she makes her bed. It's awesome that she does these things. She is a remarkably responsible young child. At age three, she was more responsible than I was at 33. She leaves notes for me sometimes when I get up in the morning. I put some snacks out for you to take to radio. I'm like, oh, thanks. You know, like, it's awesome that she does those things. She should be running

Air New Zealand. She's ready to be a CEO. But the other night we went out to, we were out for dinner and we were looking around and I was like, oh, look, there's, I was like, Andy, look, there's a salad. There's a salad bar because she likes her healthy. She's a healthy eater. She's your daughter. And she's like,

she's like, salad, yes. And she sort of did a fist bump like that. And I sort of had a moment going, what other kid, she's like, salad, yes. And she sort of did a fist bump like that. And I sort of had a moment going, what other kid just goes, yes, salad, yeah. You know, to that. In the history of children's cuisine, no child has ever fist pumped a salad bar. Oh, no. Yes. Salad bar.

Like, yeah, we've got one. I was like, wow. We've got kale. I've got all the things. Mescaline. Iceberg. All of the lettuces I need All your favourite lettuces I was like wow

Really wow I was impressed But also at the same time It was unusual That a kid That's a smart child You're raising That's the sort of kid

That everyone wants to raise She's not going to be wild In her teenage years Or maybe she is Maybe she'll rebel Against the system You're like yeah I'm going to stay up a bit later.

Yeah, she might eat two salads in a day. Oh, Indy, you've let me down. You didn't tell me that. It's not so sad. How dare you? You've got five plus more than a day. That's too much. More than the limit. Hey, you've got toothpaste on the side of your mouth. It's Jono and Ben on my heads.

We've got some, what we like to call in the biz, topical news. Sense of day stuff where, you know, you can take this to the office and go, oh, did you know Elton John does this? Yeah. A bit like banter over lunch. Maybe while you're microwaving last night's bolognese. So Elton John's partner, husband, David Furness,

he's been on UK television and they were talking about their Christmas traditions in their household. And, you you know they said they feel very blessed and lucky to live the life they do but they decide for Christmas to only do one gift

each so everyone just has one gift they don't want to over indulge and spend too much on stuff so everyone just

gets one gift so old John only has to buy one gift for his partner and I think also maybe there's kids as well so they'll just

get one present trying to keep everyone pretty grounded it's okay on Boxing Day they'll each get a Lamborg. Trying to keep everyone pretty grounded. It's okay, on Boxing Day they'll each get a Lamborghini though. Yeah, that's fine. That's fine. Yeah. Oh, that's an interesting rule to implement given probably the billions of dollars Elton

John has. You'd think you'd go wild at Christmas time, wouldn't you? Well, yeah, but I think at the same time it's pretty cool. I love about Elton John too. Not only his present rule, also his tracksuits. Jeez, he's got some magnificent sequined flamboyant tracksuits. He's really up the tracksuit game because tracksuits you think, oh, it's four o'clock in the morning,

I'm in the Palmerston North countdown trying to buy something from the pick and mix. You know, that's why I've got my Ugg boots on, that's what I'm doing, but he's really up the tracksuit game. I wear my tracksuit into work, everyone's like, you know, can I score from you, mate? Yeah, but his ones look like they've been made by 39 virgins in the hills of the Himalayas. You might get one new tracksuit as a gift from David this Christmas.

Yeah. Everyone gets one present, but each present's worth $1.5 million. It's a house. I bought you the Westfield, the whole mall. Anyway, good on them. Have you guys got present rules

with your whānau? We usually do the stealing Santa where you get everyone buys one prison puts it in the middle and then someone goes and opens a prison and

then the next person has the option to either open a new prison or steal it from the person beforehand that's a fun game that could cause

huge family rifts that's the joy that's the beauty about it though what about prisons that aren't suited for the demographic oh yeah there were a couple

of little bottles of vodka that he ended up with at 12 year old. But we took that back from him. And you said there was some contraception there. Yeah, there was. That went to your three year old niece chewing on those in the afternoon. My wife tried to implement something from her family. I don't know if it's true or not. She was like, the night before you all

get to open one present each. Like pick one from under the tree. And I was like, is this a thing? This falls in the same category as the push present, you know, when you're given birth. Oh, you need to buy me a present now. Oh, really? I didn't read this about in the birthing manual. Yeah, but apparently that's something that... So do you do that on Christmas Eve?

No, we haven't. No, we haven't implemented that. Oh, you're standing strong. Wait till Christmas. Yeah, wait till Christmas. I used to hate it when I was a kid and they were like, you can't open your presents till we go to your Aunt Joy's in the afternoon. I was like, why do we have to wait till we go to Auntie Joy's? Why can't I open them now? We have to wait till after lunch.

Yeah, after lunch they didn't wait till the dishes. The adults don't care. They know they're getting some T-shirt that says all I got for Christmas was this T-shirt. But the kids, this means a lot, doesn't it? So what we want to open up on the phones, 0800 THE HITS, 4487 if you'd like to text us. What are your present traditions in your household? Maybe you've got some great new tricks and tips.

Yeah, maybe you're doing something that we all should implement this Christmas. Because you also fell into the black hole of Amanda. One Christmas said, let's not get each other something. And I didn't. And you stuck to the rule. Yeah, that was not get each other something. Oh. And when someone's- And I didn't. And you stuck to the rule. Yeah, that was the rules. We agreed on it. And then she's like, on Christmas Day, when she's like, you're like, oh, well, I'm not.

You didn't. You didn't. I listened to you. I didn't get anything. I saw this and I thought, one of those, I saw this and thought of you. You're like, oh, extra. And I'm like, no. It made me more annoyed to receive that present.

Did you even open it? Did you refuse to open it? I'm like, no, It made me more annoyed to receive that present. Did you even open it? Did you refuse to open it? I'm like, no, I'm not going to open it. We said no rules, no presents. All right, what are your present rules and traditions? Get on the phone. Give us a call this morning, 0800-THATS. We might find you a present from our prize cupboard

if we like your calls. We're going to go to Rotorua this morning and welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Adrienne, how are you? I'm great. It's great to have you on. Merry Christmas to you, Adrienne. Merry Christmas to you Zealand's Breakfast. Adrienne, how are you? I'm great. It's great to have you on. Merry Christmas to you, Adrienne. Merry Christmas to you guys as well.

What's your present? What are your present traditions in your family? Well, we always open one present before Christmas on Christmas Eve with a bottle of champagne. And we have a book that was my daughter's book as a child and even at the age of 30 we still read that on Christmas Eve. That's nice. How long's the book?

The book is called The Night Before Christmas. The Night Before Christmas, we do that. Read that to the kids every year. That's a great story. Ben just doesn't let them open up presents like you do. That's a wonderful tradition, Adrian. There we go. Thank you very much.

Appreciate that. We'll head to Upper Hutt. Tasha's on the air. Welcome, Tasha. No stress, but you need to bring the noise, okay? Because we are doing shocking radio this morning. She's got the noise, literally. Literally, there we go.

Morning, guys. Morning, Tasha. What are your present traditions, matey? So what it is is New Year's, not New Year, no, not New Morning, Tash. What are your present traditions, matey? So what it is, is New Year's, not New Year, no, not New Year, Christmas Eve, my husband will take the kids out and Santa's out. While they were out, we'll have delivered one present

and it's always pyjamas. So when the kids come back, they get to unwrap their presents, have their showers, their baths, get ready to bed and off they go. Oh, so everyone gets Christmas pyjamas. That's awesome. No, my husband doesn't.

Oh, he doesn't? Why has he been the Grinch? He sleeps commando. He actually does, but that's not a good look. He doesn't. You get Christmas photos in the morning. You're like, can you put some clothes on? No, this is how I wake up every morning.

Christmas baubles on display. There we go. Good on you, Tash. You have a wonderful Christmas, okay, Tash? Cheers, guys. Thank you. Thomas, you're on the air from Auckland. Morena to you, my friend.

What are your Christmas present traditions? Morning, guys. I don't know. It's not really a tradition, but me and my partner have been together for four years, and we have never brought each other Christmas presents. Oh, wow. Just an agreement between the two of you, obviously?

Yeah, I mean, like, everyone always asks, oh, what are you getting there for Christmas? And I say, oh, we don't do Christmas. And they all say, oh, yeah, don't believe that. But we just, we buy, you know, things throughout the year, and we think of each other. But if we can't think of anything on Christmas Day, we don't force buy a present.

You're not going to be corporate slaves? You're not going to succumb to the... No, I'm not going to confine us to the system. That's very interesting. Yeah, well, that's a good way to... But that's the thing, Ben. When you're both in on it and you both stick to the rules, it's fine. They agree, they stick to the rules.

Amanda did not stick to the rules in your situation. No, she gave me a present. How would you feel if your partner gave you a present? You're like, oh, hang on. Yeah, Thomas, how would that make you feel? Yeah, I don't know. I'm glad it hasn't happened. Yeah.

It'd be pretty bad feeling. You should do that this year. But that's the thing. Sometimes when people are like, oh, don't get me anything, they mean get me something, don't they? That's what I've learned. And you got her a frying pan. Yeah, no, let's not go back to that.

And that's something else I could add to that list, but that's for another day that I've just discovered. Hey, thank you very much for your calls this morning. Appreciate it. Oh, let's go one more. We'll go to Kim in Tudor. Kim, what do you do? What are your present traditions? So in my family, when I was a child,

Christmas morning was painful as we had to wait hours for mum to get up. And then we'd play this silly game where, well, it was fun as a kid. We'd have to number all the presents. And then we had the bingo bag full of numbers. And you'd draw a number out and then we'd have to go off in search of the corresponding present. Oh, you'd have to go and find it? Like under the tree, but then amongst lots and lots of presents.

Right. Almost the meat raffle system that you employ at the pub. There we go. Oh, I guess it's a, yeah. I couldn't think of a more tedious way to drag out the present opening process. I love it, Kim. Thank you very much for listening. You have a great day.

You too. New Zealand's breakfast. Just don't eat them. They're chewy. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. You're on the hits. That song's called Closer. It is brand new from Vince Harder and Abby Lee. Vince, you'll know from this banger of a song with

P Money a few years ago. But you're still a big fan of the song, right? Oh, and yes. You don't have to say and yes. You don't have to say and yes. You don't have to put it like a date stamp. Just say it was a great song. Because when you do that, it makes me feel very old. I was two years old dancing away to this in my cot.

Now, Vintada was Simba in the Australian production of The Lion King. He also came third in Australian X Factor. And now he's teamed up with his wife, Abby Lee. And they've released that song you just heard before and they join us in the studio. Great to have you guys here. Thanks for having us. You guys are wasting sync there, aren't you? It's really

good. Now you guys have collaborated on a song together as husband and wife singing. How was that experience recording a song together? Fun. Not too annoying. I was going to say, do your marital issues come into the recording process?

Yes. There you go. I don't need to say anything, really. You were just saying before we started that, Wednesday morning is your time to record together because you don't have kids that morning. Yeah, our son's at kindergarten and my mum is very generous in looking after our little girl, so that's

our free time to get some work done. Do you reckon Beyonce and Jay-Z are having to struggle around like, we've only got Wednesday morning free without the kids? Oh yeah, they're exactly like us. Just Wednesday mornings, right Jay? So when you get into the studio, do you guys have any arguments going

on about music? Oh man, yeah, there's clashes here and there. I mean, because we're both different. She grew up with different music and I'm the same too. We're so comfortable with each other, you don't have the niceties that you have. There's definitely niceties. There's no walking around on eggshells around.

No, exactly. And I hear him when he's producing other artists and I'm like, you're so much nicer to them than you are to me. Vince and Abby Lee Harder with us in the studio. Now, Ben Boyce, you had a game you wanted to play too. Oh, well, yeah, this could be a shambles, but we'll see how it goes.

Do you both want to sing? Do you both want to sing? Yeah, we could go. Not because of your singing ability, just because I don't know how this is going to come out. Yeah, no, it's more the formatics of the game as opposed to the ability of you two. So it's the jukebox.

Yeah, so we've got some random songs. We've got a jukebox sound effect. And whatever the random song spits out, we want to see if you could sing along to it. And then we'll move to the next song. Okay. Okay. Always up for a challenge.

If it goes bad, don't worry. There's only four people listening to this show. All right, here's the first one. Let's turn on the jukebox. Okay, turn on the jukebox. Oh, yeah. Oh, a weekend. Snubbed from a Grammy, but not this show.

Oh, yeah. Oh. She told me don't worry about it. She told me don't worry. Oh, no. I can see my face When I'm with you But I love it But I love it

I can feel my face When I'm with you But I love it But I love it Alright, here's the two bucks again. Another dollar and two bucks. What do we got? What do we got?

Oh, Dolly. Keeney right, hit the jukebox again. Put another dollar in. What have we got? What have we got? Oh, Dolly. Kenny and Dolly. Oh, old school. Here we go. All right. That is what we are. No one in between. How can we be wrong?

Sail away with me to another place. And we rely on each other. I could do this all day. Another one, another one, another one. Oh, it's Drake. Oh, it's Drake. We're really mixing up here for you guys. Oh, here we go. Is that it?

Okay. Is that it? Late night when you need my love Call me on my cell phone Late night when you need my love I know in the holiday Is that it? Oh, that was good. Here's the bluebird Here to stay

Here's the new world He sings a love song As we go along Walking in a winter wonderland Everybody sing, come on. Oh my God. You guys make it look so easy and I've heard myself

it's so hard to sing like that. It's amazing. What have we got here? Oh, it's the Lion King. Oh, here we go. Let's start on the Lion King, the musical. It's the circle of life

Hand in moves us all Through despair and hope I'm not touching this one. No, I'm not touching this one. Through faith and love You're going to join me? No, I'm not touching it. Let's go. Who thinks they'll love till we find our place? Oh, my God. You're making us really get up there in the morning.

Oh, yeah. That's so impressive. Do you guys get nervous singing at all? I mean, Vince, you know, X Factor Australia, Lion King are in Australia as well. Anthems at sports games. I mean, do you get nervous, you guys? I think I've probably been the most nervous this morning.

We've made you nervous. I'll tell you what, I never felt, I felt like Dr. Dre producing an album. Mate, you just hit a button. I felt so cool. You didn't make the beat or anything like that? That was the coolest I've ever felt, probably. You need to come in the studio. Yeah, I'll push the buttons.

Just like that one and the record button. That's all you can do. Vincent and Abby Lee Harder, congratulations. That was amazing. Thank you so much for coming in. Thanks for having us. The single Closer, where can people find it? Where can they go get it?

They can get it on every platform, Spotify, Apple Music, and yeah, watch our music video as well on YouTube. I got lost in a YouTube hole yesterday over you guys. It was so good. It was so impressive. Everyone was amazing. So yeah, really, really talented, awesome stuff. So keep on doing what you're doing.

It's great to catch up with you guys. Yeah, cheers, bro. Thanks a lot, guys. Morning. It's Jono and Ben on the hips. Ben Boyce just before 8 o'clock said, coming up after 8, Kelly Clarkson's ex is looking for some monthly repayments after their divorce.

Yeah, they're going through quite a bit of divorce at the moment. They're in the courts. Is it bitter? Oh, yeah, well, I don't... It is getting a bit tense as far as the negotiations go, what he feels he's entitled to. When you come to divorce, it's always better when you say it's a bitter divorce, isn't it? It's never as cool when you're like, oh, they're having a pretty amicable divorce. Bitter sounds better.

What's he after? He's basically after $620,000 a month. A month? A month. She's offered to pay for all the expenses for the kids, but he's saying, no, I need $620,000 a month to live and to look after the, you know, to do my share of looking after the kids and everything else.

What's he spending $620,000? That's great. I haven't spent $620,000 in my entire life. A month. Dr. Dre's ex-wife too was after $1.936 million a month too. Wow. That's what she was after

and he would regret getting into the medical field after that, wouldn't he? Yes, yes. I should never become a doctor. I mean, you know, it's tough for Kelly Clarkson but as she once said... Sorry, I interrupted your gag with my Dr. Dre stuff. Yeah, the gag, we doubled down on the gag.

It's all right. Remember Kelly Clarkson's song? No, let's do it again. Do it again. Okay, retake. So, you know, Kelly Clarkson, his ex-husband's what? $620,000 a month.

That is tough for Kelly Clarkson, but as she once said... I'm sure some of our people have used that gag as well, too. Yeah, that's a good song. a month and it's tough for Kelly Clarkson but as she once said What doesn't kill you makes you stronger I'm sure some of our people have used that gag as well too. Yeah, it's a good song We should play that song next. It is a great song. Let's chuck that in next too. It's a good song, it makes everyone feel good, doesn't it? It's one of those songs

Apart from when you have to hand over $636,000 a month to your ex So, 0800 the hits. We feel this is a ludicrous amount of money to spend per month. There's ways he could be saving money. There's tips and techniques that we could maybe pass on to the clerks and family and say these are some things that you could do to save that money

and not have to spend that much a month. Yeah, so we're going to open up cash-saving tips. This is something that's very dear to Ben's tight, tight little tush. Isn't it? You love it. I love hearing cash-saving tips. And people bring it up and go, oh, don't do this paper. You're like, oh, that's genius. He's like a fish, this guy. Nothing's getting in

and nothing is getting out, Ben Boyce. What's a cash saving tip you do? I was just saying, I think I talked about this on the radio a while ago. A friend of mine, this is a step too far for me, but got a gift sent from overseas. It arrived. Then he put the gift back into the bag and put return to sender, not at this address.

And so basically he got free postage on the way back. Because he needed to send the gift back to them. Saving at least $3.80. Wonderful. If you like to save on petrol, what I like to do is drive into the forecourt, fill up, put the nozzle back, and drive off without paying.

We want legal car cash saving tips. That's a little tip on it. We want legal cash saving tips. So both of ours are probably not legal. Sometimes I like to walk into a bank and my face is really cold, so I've got a hat on my face. It's called a balaclava. All right. What is the way you can save some cash?

Let's get some cash saving tips out to the nation. Let's go to the phones. This is Georgina Morena to you. You're on New Zealand's Breakfast. It's an honour for us to be speaking to you. Oh, hello. How are you? I'm good. How are you? You're good. What's your C-A-T? Oh, no, what? C-S-T.

Oh, God. What's that? What's your cat? When I buy a coffee out, I'll put the equal amount into a jar. What, of coffee? You pour the coffee into the jar?

Save some coffee for the next day? Yeah. No, so if I had like a good old $4 coffee, then I'd put $4 in a jar, and then it kind of all adds up because I am quite a coffee addict and can't lie about that. Oh, so you're basically saving the equivalent of a coffee. Yeah. Oh, good on you.

That's good. When I was a kid, I used to love rating Dad's bloody coin jar, eh? And coins are good because they don't notice them going, do they? No, good on you. That's a good tip. Julia, you're quite good with money, aren't you? I think so. You're quite sensible with cash.

Yeah. That's a good tip, Julia. You're quite good with money, aren't you? I think so. You're quite sensible with cash. Yeah. One tip that I know is quite good is just say you get paid weekly. Every week you sort of set up a calendar and it might have random cash amounts, completely different cash amounts every week. So it might be $5 one week, $20 another week, $50 another week. And every week you put whatever that dollar amount is into a savings account. So, you know, one week you might be like, okay, I only have to save $5. That's fine. But then the following might be

$10. Before you know it, end of the year. Yeah, got lots of money for Christmas. Yeah, you can buy all your bits and pieces for Rhythm and Vines. Whatever you take down there. Sunblock, etc. Sunglasses. A hat with a flap. That sort of stuff.

Yeah, we'll go to Nicole. Welcome. How are you, Nicole? Good, thanks. And you? Yeah, we'll go to Nicole. Welcome. How are you, Nicole? Good, thanks and you? Yeah, we're doing well, matey. What's your cash-saving tip? Buy your groceries online, because then you can put everything you like into the trolley, take out everything that's not a need. You can take out all your money until you get to your

budget, and then it saves the kids tossing at least 20 bucks worth of extra once as you're walking through the grocery store into your trolley. Again, another joy of my childhood was trying to sneak items into mum's trolley to see if I could get it past the scanning process. And when you're in the line you're like, ooh, how's this going to go?

It's like a little miniature prepubescent Ocean's Eleven style heist. But that's good, chopping online does save you some money, doesn't it? You were talking about the plugs before. Yeah, I do. I know you're a big you unplug everything in your household. I'm not turning on switches. I'm a switch turner the plugs before. Yeah, too. And I know you're a big, you unplug everything in your household. I'm not turning on switches.

I'm a switch turner, Rafa. Yeah. And he leaves his family in complete darkness every morning. But apparently, if you unplug the,

you actually physically have to take the plug out, that adds up all of your plugs in your household to 10% of your electricity bill annually. Oh, Just your plugs being in there

because I suppose there's some form of electrical current going into them. Ready to go. Yeah. Another thing I like to do is go to the supermarket, eat all the food while you're pushing your trolley around and then

walk out of the other end. None of your tips have been highly illegal. What I like to do at the self-service checkout is not scan all of the items. He's like an uncle at a wedding. He's got the mic. I like to put meat down my trousers so the supermarket security doesn't know. Want more Jono and Ben?

You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Now, Sydney-based comedian Nat is the brains and face behind Nat's What I Reckon. It's a YouTube channel that's gone pretty much viral at the start of lockdown for his cooking demonstrations, and he's sort of got a distinctive style when he does these. What's going on, Ratbags? Today we're cooking a dish that people f*** up all the time.

The problem with bolognese is people put heaps of stupid s*** in it. No zucchini, no eggplant, no hair. Your car isn't in it. I'm not in it. So let me just show you what's in bolognese. Now, these YouTube cooking demos have got hundreds of thousands of views online. They've attracted the attention of the media all over the world, including fans like Dave Grohl from the Foo Fighters. And he joins us on the line right now over Zoom.

He knows he's on a family-friendly radio station, so there won't be any swearing. Nat, how's it going, buddy? Great to have you here. Yeah, hey, thanks. Thanks for having me. Good to see you, mate. Good to see you.

We can see him on Zoom, which is not ideal for radio. We're enjoying seeing you. You've got a lot of piercings on your face. Which one hurt the most? You've got lip, nose and double ears going on there. Yeah, yeah. I've got a lot going on. It's been a point of conversation since my teen years.

I've had more, you'll be pleased to know. I've had some of them removed. I used to have my bridge pierced between my eyes here. Oh, the top of your nose, did you? Yeah, yeah, but it was a bit on the piss, so I pulled it out. I remember for a

classic radio stunt, I got my nipples done. Have you ever had your nipples done? Yeah, they really hurt. No, I have a line in the sand for a few things in my life, and that's one of them. And nipples, you didn't get them pierced? No, no, they're not. I think they're fine the way they are.

My head, on the other hand. Wax them more in there. Now, how did, I guess, a sweary, miserable head comedian, as you described, become a lockdown hero with cooking advice and recipes? Yeah, I don't know. My guess is that people wanted a bit of cut the shit at the time. A lot of stress going on and I just wanted to hang out and say, oh, we don't, this jar sauce is boring.

We've got a bit of time on our hands. Why don't we just cook something and swear a bit? I think we need to swear. Yeah, he always gives me grief because I, every Monday night I every Monday night I'm on dinner And I put Kranskis in the microwave For my children He doesn't even put them in a fry pan I'm like it's fine

Microwave them 57 seconds One second over they burst So I've got it down to minute timing And I just wanted to get your thoughts On microwaving sausages. I mean, it's a fine art, isn't it? You can't mess with a good thing.

It's obviously 58 seconds is clearly too long. It's too much. It's too much. You're crazy if you do 58. And I've experimented over the years. This is a certain level of skill. My dad microwaved sausages when I was staying at his place. Yeah, I heard a screaming coming from the other room

and it turns out it was the sausages in the microwave screaming. Quite literally. Yeah, they made that kind of... It's like that movie Sausage Party in real life. Now, your big campaign, I guess, in your recipes and cooking demonstrations is for people to say no to jar sauce. What don't you like about jar sauce? It's boring. I just

think we can do a bit better, you know? I mean, it's fine. Everything has its place in the world. I don't think you're a bad person. Eating jar sauce, I just think people are a lot more talented than I think they are. Your first video, How to Make Quarantine Sauce, so it's had more than 7.5 million views on Facebook, People are a lot more talented than they think they are. Your first video, How to Make Quarantine Source,

so it's had more than 7.5 million views on Facebook, half a million on YouTube. You've got fans like Dave Grohl from the Foo Fighters. I mean, that's pretty crazy. That's a good word for it, yeah. Yeah, it is wild. I'm hanging on for dear life here. I feel like I'm watching my own life sometimes. It's pretty exciting.

It's, yeah, something that, yeah, it's just, I don't know. I'm kind of running out of words for it. No, that's all. We can't tell you're running out of words. Do you get to monetise it? You make a job out of this? Yeah, well, at the moment it's so full time. It is, yeah, it's definitely my job.

It's like seven days a week at the moment. It looks like probably quite fun and easy, but I imagine it's quite relentless, you know, the never-ending content you're having to supply. It's a black hole, isn't it? Yeah, well, there's a lot going on, hey? We've got a book going on. I've got TEDx talk the other week.

We're touring at the same time, trying to, we create all the content ourselves. I edit all the videos myself. It takes a long time. It's a lot of work. I mean, I love it, right? But, yeah, it's more work than any other jobs I've ever had. No, that's the thing.

And all our kids, my kids too, and I'm sure Ben's as well, they're like, I want to be a YouTube star when I'm older. Like it's a career. Kids are chasing nowadays. Yeah, I mean, that's cool. It's like I always wanted a pain in the ass career when I was younger. I wanted to be a rock star and it's a tough gig, you know. Reach for the stars, dream big, go for it.

Was your dad, was I reading correct? He was a chef, right? Did he get you into your love of food and cooking? Yeah, he was definitely a big influence. Yeah, he was a cook. He learned to cook in Paris at the Ritz Hotel. Very fancy. Oh, wow.

And so you're obviously an aficionado when it comes to sauces. I know you don't like your jar of sauces, but are you a fan of Best Foods mayo? Best Foods mayo. Oh, yeah, the egg mayo. I like a bit of egg mayo. Or would you make your own mayo? Yeah, I'd make my own mayo, yeah.

It's very calorie-heavy mayo, so I'm trying to watch the waistline these days a bit, so I tend to not eat too much mayo. But, yeah, I like mayo. What spun me out about mayonnaise, right, is how it's made. When I first learned about it, Dad showed me when we were kids. I was like, it's made out of what? It's just like egg yolks, and then he starts tipping oil in it. It's just made with oil. Oh, really? It's just like egg yolks and then he starts tipping oil in it.

It's just made with oil. Oh, really? Just egg yolks and oil? More or less. I mean, there's a few other things in it, but the majority of it is oil. Have you ever tried a Wattie's tomato sauce? I don't know if I've had Wattie's tomato sauce. I'm not, for all the flash and show, you know,

I'm not scared of tomato sauce every now and then. I have a place on the sausage, you know. A Bunnings sausage. You got Bunnings over there, do you? Oh, yeah, mate. We love a sausage sizzle probably as much as you guys do over there. I was saying the other day, if there was any shit food I could eat myself to death on,

it would be a sausage sizzle. Bunnings sausage sizzle. It's awesome what you're doing for the world right now so we really appreciate it and lovely to catch up with you. Keep up the great work. Yeah, thanks for having me.

Champions, you guys are amazing. More painful than your alarm clock. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Bye. Thanks to Sharesies, New Zealand's fastest growing share platform. Shares made easy.

Oh my God, I do that every time. I've done it six times. I'm sorry, Sharesies. I talk over the end. And it's really unprofessional. It's like you're anti-Sharesies or something. You keep coming and trying to talk over the top.

Just wait. I'm pro-Sharesies. I know, just wait, just wait. I've done it every single time. I'm disappointed in myself. But to tell you one thing I'm not disappointed in is producer Juliette, because she's already shredded for Rhythm & Vine.

And she's shredded by shredding your favourite celebrities all year long on the radio. What's going on in Spy Duke? So, Ellen Page, who played Juno in the movie Juno, you'll know this face. Wonderful film. Yeah, wonderful film. Was she nominated for an Academy Award? I think so, I think so. Very subtle and downplayed, that movie, wasn't it?

Yeah. So, she, or now he, has come out as transgender. Elliot Page is his name now. So he posted on Instagram a big sort of mini essay explaining the situation that he can't begin to express how grateful he is and remarkable it feels to be his true self now. But then regardless of that, he's also scared of people hating on him, being invasive in his life.

And it's such a brave thing to do, isn't it? If that's the person that you believe you have been inside your entire life and to, I guess you've held it, you've kept it confined and you've lived with that in your entire life and to come out must be very freeing. But as you say, in the same breath, you're like

oh, there's going to be people hating on me now. Yeah, but it's awesome though. It's like Caitlyn Jenner, isn't it? When Bruce went from Caitlyn, a hugely brave move. He was a guy who was an Olympic hero, gold medal winning Olympic athlete. Yeah, that's right. And I imagine, you know, with the world that it is and stereotypes that he had to play through throughout his entire career,

making that change would have been enormous. Especially in the public eye. That's just another layer, you know, and a whole other beast that you'd have to deal with. If I was him, I would have just done it quietly and then people would go, what happened to Bruce? Don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then you'd just turn up because no one would recognise you. Hey, where's Bruce gone? Don't know, he was here yesterday. It's also the lady living at our house now. Especially in the public profile,'t know, he was here yesterday. Oh, it's gone. There's a lady living at our house now. Especially in the public profile, to help other people who may be struggling with this. And all the comments on his Instagram posts, Miley Cyrus has commented,

Elliot rules, and everyone seems to be really supportive, which is really great to see. Yeah, good, great. It does, and as you say, helps young kids, teenagers too, who are going through the same thing, to see their idols publicly doing it. For sure.

It goes a long way. Spy, for more, you can going through the same thing, to see their idols publicly doing it. For sure. It goes a long way. Spy. For more, you can check out the hits.co.nz. Not a morning person? Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Hey, I want to open up a champagne Jono and Ben text poll. A little less credibility than your Colmar Brunton poll,

but probably more credibility than the polls Donald Trump was running off. So that's where we sit in terms than the polls. Donald Trump was running off. So that's where we sit in terms of our polls. The worst chore. What is the worst chore? Because I feel like I live in this house and all I am is a landlord for the insects. Right. So, you know, it's just inundated with insects

and they're just a complete disrespect for the household. So they're coming inside the insects? They come into their area. Then you often talk about going outside and finding worms and stuff, so you're bringing some in as well. Yeah, I'm part of both ways. Yeah, I know. You can't go, oh, no, the spiders, no, but the...

Yeah, we're coexisting, the insects and my house. They come in, they're complete contempt. They're defecating on our food. The flies are. If I came into your house and did that to you while you're eating dinner, what would you say? I wouldn't be that happy about it. Exactly.

Spray me with a can of rain or something. So yeah, every year we get the bug guy around. Seems the same bug guy you use because he's like, I went to Ben's house and did this the other week. And what you need to do though is when you get the bug guy over is you need to cover up surfaces and did this the other week. And what you need to do, though, is when you get the bug guy over, is you need to cover up surfaces and things. Yeah, right. And so we've got these plastic sheets we've just used for three, four years.

And I know it's a job that takes me probably 45 minutes every year. So it's only 45 minutes out of my entire year. But it is my worst possible chore. It's having to peel a plastic these plastic things and place them over I don't know why I hate it so much. Why do you hate it so much? I don't know. It's not probably that bad in the grand schemes. I'd rather vacuum. I'd rather

clean the toilet. Would you not clean the oven? I'd clean the oven. Would you? I'd clean the oven over peeling apart these plastic. I don't know why it's my worst chore. What's your worst chore? Well, it's probably my own fault because I like putting stuff in piles. I like piling up paper and putting it away.

And then eventually I have to go through that and put that, you know, but it's a temporary measure that I pile the paper up, put it away, you know, and then I'm like, I better go through that and see what bills I haven't paid. And, you know, you have to basically go through that again. I don't know why I didn't deal with it the first time.

I just like putting it out of sight, out of mind. But you've also got piles too. So I can see. Yeah, yeah. So dealing to my actual piles is something else. How high do you let the piles go before you're like, oh, I've got to tend to that pile? It gets quite high.

Too piley. A lot of piles and stuff in there. There's a lot of stuff in there. As soon as it reaches sort of Jack and the Beanstalk style height, just full of old electricity bills and books and things, what's your worst chore, Juju? I did this yesterday, changing the bed sheets. Oh my gosh, what a punish.

The duvet cover is, oh my God. Especially if your bed is up against a wall. If it's in the middle of the room, it's not so bad because you can go to each side. But if it's up against a wall, trying to tuck the bed sheets in by the wall is just, oh, it's the worst. And you're doing it and you're like,

this is something that's going to become undone in a matter of hours. Yeah. Like it's going to go back to its original state in just a matter of hours and then I'm going to have to go and do it again. It seems pointless, right? Yeah, you don't like the pillows on the bed. You've spoken of that publicly before. Yes, we have.

Placing the pillows is one of your worst chores. Yeah, well, because we do. We have a lot of display pillows. I think upwards of 12 to 15 pillows. That's way too many. You've only got one head. Yeah, I'm not allowed to put my head on 15 pillows. That's way too many. You've only got one head. Yeah, I'm not allowed to put my head on these pillows. That's the other thing.

The whole body part can rest on the pillow. They're displayed. The display purpose is over there. It's like we're living in the farmer's store, the department store. Ah, ah, ah, ah. You're like, yeah, go and get on that bed, you know, until you've taken the pillows off and then put back on again.

It's like, what's the point? Yeah, someone's backed up your bed-making juju on the texts. Oh, really? 4487 is the worst chore. Dusting is another one that's come through. Again, dusting is like you're doing something, it's going to come back in a day or two. Yeah.

It's just a never-ending fight. Yeah, no, you're right. And we'll end this on some awkward silence. I was reflecting on dusting. Yeah, you're right. Okay, let's all just take a few seconds to reflect on dusting. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, that was good. We needed an out to this little bit, and I think we just nailed it, guys. Yeah. No, dusting, eh? Hey, hashtag dusting. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. Now, she's just called through to our radio show.

Comedian Alice Sneddon, welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Please don't sully my reputation by making out that I anyway listen to you show on the radio. You've just come back from the UK. You're in quarantine at the moment, as Jono said. And you were saying you don't know where you're going to end up until the plane lands. Yeah, that's right. You have no idea where you're going, although I assumed, given my luck, that I would end up exactly where I am, which is Osorua. Why would you want to end up in the Auckland CBD in a five-star hotel?

You want a bus trip. That's what you want at the end of 24 hours of flying, a bus trip, yeah. what you want at the end of 24 hours of flying, a bus trip. How are you finding the experience? I'm finding, do you know what? When he came into isolation, I thought this was going to be perfect for me. I will love two weeks in a hotel doing nothing, not being bothered. And what I've found it to be is a torturous psychological experiment. Because you said yesterday you spent a half an hour staring at the wall.

No, no, no. I spent an hour and a half staring at the wall. Oh, an hour and a half staring at the wall. Yeah, I ate my breakfast and then it was almost like I blacked out and an hour and a half had gone by of me just looking at the wall thinking, I wonder what I'll watch today. It's a big decision. If it's an hour and a half staring at a wall decision, I don't know. It's when the

wall starts talking back to you, you're in trouble. Okay, so yesterday I genuinely thought that I could make the painting come out of the wall. There's a painting on my wall and I thought that with the trick of, I was like practicing with the trick of my eyes, making it move slowly towards me.

Like a magic eye book. We're talking to a crazed woman who's two days out from release of quarantine. Do you get to go out of the hotel room? Yeah, there's a car park downstairs that I get to go into. So that's lovely. But honestly, I think the car park

brings me more end of the world vibes than just being in my room because everyone has to walk in the same direction in circles around the outside perimeter of the car park wearing masks. And it's always got to fence up with those black screenings as well so the general public doesn't have to see you. We don't want to look at you. We don't want to look at you guys. Absolutely not.

And you know what? I understand. You're bringing the vibes down. Yeah, you're making me depressed to look at you. We don't want to look at you guys. Absolutely not. And you know what? I understand. You're bringing the vibes down. Yeah, you're making me depressed just talking to you. Now, Alice, what we thought we'd do is we would help you fill in some time while you're trapped in a motel room in Rotorua doing your quarantine. We always talk fondly of a wonderful story of your birth. Like we were there, but we weren't.

But we feel like we were there. Well, you could have been invited by the sounds of it. Yeah, you could have. Yeah, I mean, everybody in the community showed up and I'm grateful to them for that. Now, my parents, they were religious, but they were hippies as well. And

I was my mum's fifth child. So I think by that stage, she was like, I could just have this thing anywhere, you know. And I'll just deliver it myself. So she had me. And the reason I know all of this stuff is because there was a photographer there. Still, no one knows who the photographer was. But whoever they were was quite comfortable getting extremely up close and personal.

Oh, did you get some good close-up shots? God, so many good close-up shots. Like, I've literally got a picture of my first breath of life while I'm still, like, halfway in, halfway out. It's not everyone who can say they had a professional photographer. No, wedding photographer, I mean, that's old hat. Maybe birth photographer's the new thing, right? I know.

I actually think it's quite beautiful, but I was looking through them, as I do from time to time. I've become quite desensitized to them now. I like to bring them out for shop value, show my friends when they come around. These are some graphic content, graphic photos. They are extremely graphic photos.

But I was looking through one, and there was this wide shot of the room that I was being delivered in, which was just our living room on a mattress in the corner. And there were like a bunch of people I didn't recognize. And in the corner of it, there was just one guy in like a dressing gown. I was born at like midnight. And I asked my mum who he was.

And my mum said, you know, I honestly couldn't tell you. So they were potentially neighbours that had come to watch a new spectator sport, I guess? Yeah, so like months and months later she told me that she thinks it was the ex-boyfriend of a girl who used to live out the front of our house, like a separate place or something. But my mum's like fully stark naked in the middle of this room giving birth in front of just what appears to be anyone. So maybe he just came in from the outside getting a nice cup of Milo from the kitchen. He was like, oh, what's going on here?

So I think her main concern was like, did anyone offer him a cup of tea when he arrived? Now you said it was on a mattress. Was the mattress still in circulation post-birth? Okay, do you know what? About maybe it was like a year and a half after I was born the house burnt down and I always felt that that was like the house's reaction to what had happened

in there. It's like a way of cleansing. I cannot continue to be a house. I cannot continue to be a house. I've got to get rid of it. Oh Alice that puts a smile on my face every time that story

thank you very much for calling in and listening to the show Alice really do appreciate it it means a lot it's my absolute pleasure yeah

she'd rather steal it what radio session are you guys on now I'm a big fan of what it is it's how to keep track yeah next time you're staring

at a wall you can probably listen to us at the same time a few times I think I've hallucinated that I'm listening to it. Hey, Alice, and you keep a safe look after yourself.

Have a Merry Christmas, and thanks for your time. No problem, anytime. A very funny lady, Alice. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Ben Boyce, we are giving you the chance to get an investment portfolio, which is something I've always wanted to say.

It's quite an adult thing to say, isn't it? My investment portfolio. And it's all thanks to Sharesies. Win with Jono and Ben. Thanks to Sharesies, New Zealand's fastest growing share platform. Shares made easy. The Hits and Sharesies, we want to get your investment portfolio started. Give you the chance to Sharesies with a friend.

The first caller through right now on 0800THEHITS will win a $500 ShareZs gift voucher. And then we're going to call one of their friends. If they answer, they also get a $500 gift voucher from ShareZs as well. ShareZs, of course, shares made easy. Start your investment portfolio for just as little as $5. I tell you what, I'd like to invest in your portfolio, Ben. Deposit my funds in your account.

I don't know what that means. Neither do I. I'll tell you. Now you can head to sharesies.nz and you can sign up with the promo code HITS. That's H-I-T-S. If you need to spell it out, you get a $10 kickstart

on the new Sharesies investment portfolio. Just for all those people who couldn't spell HITS. Well, the thing is, sometimes I've been running the HITS in together. Oh, okay. There's a backstory. I've been told by producer Humphries that I was saying the code word is the HITS, but the code word is HITS. H-I-T-S. There's a backstory I've been told by producer Humphries that I was saying the code word is the hits,

but the code word is hits. H-I-T-S. There we go. Well, there is an emotional backstory. There is, yeah. I tell you, warts and all on the show, that is a whole bunch of information. Well, you pulled me up on it,

and I felt like I had to come clean to why I spelled out how you spell hits. Yeah, there's a lot of people who didn't need to know that, but we went there. Let's go to Hamilton. Marina, Anna, how are you? I'm good. How are you? Oh, mate, could not be better on top of the world.

Now we're talking to you, Anna. So well done. Firstly, $500 gift voucher for sharesies. You can invest your portfolio. You can now wander around Hamilton, maybe go down to Ward Street and go, look who's got an investment portfolio. And now we're going to call someone close to you and see if they answer the phone to win also more.

Yeah, they get $500 too. Hope she does. $500 gift voucher from Sharesies could be there if they answer the phone. Let's call them. Who are we calling? Yeah. Is it your sister, Kirsten?

Yes. We'll see if Kirsten? Yes. We'll see if Kirsten answers the telephone. Wow, she better. If not, we'll all text her and rub it in her face. Hello, Kirsten speaking. She did. She came through. She did.

She did. It's Jono and Ben calling from the HITS radio station. You're on the air. How are you doing? Good, thank you. That's HITS spelled H-I-T-S. Yeah, it is. You've just won for answering your phone

a $500 gift voucher from Sharesies, all right? Very suspicious. It probably sounds like a scam, doesn't it? It probably does. Listening to it, I'm like, this is definitely a scam. Now, all we need to do is just get your bank account number and passwords to every account in your life. No is definitely... Now, all we need to do is just get your bank account number and passwords to every account in your life.

It's all above board. It's an awesome thing that you've won. A $500 gift voucher for Sharesies. You can start your investment portfolio right now. This is not a joke. You still sound very sus. We'll explain all the details for you. Your sister's here as well. We've kidnapped her.

It's Anna. No, we haven't kidnapped her. She's on. All right, hold the line. Hold the line. We'll explain all off here. If you missed out this time, don't forget, head to sharesies.nz.

Sign up with the promo code HITS, H-I-T-S. That's how you spell that, Jono. $10 kickstart on your new Sharesies investment portfolio. T's and C's apply. Expires midnight, 13th of December, so get in there. Poor old producer Humphrey's looking at me through the window.

He's like, I'm now going to be called into a meeting after the show, thanks to you. Because of you. I'm sorry, it's all on me. I'll take it.

I'll take it. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Now, yesterday, I was on the phone when we were recording our podcast intro.

You were having a very important call. You couldn't get off. Yeah, it was to do with a fraud on my credit card. Actually, I was just... What happened with it? Well, it was an interesting conversation I had last night because I had to call the bank back and the lady was like,

so $3,500... At Calendar Girls on Saturday night. No, it was a gambling, overseas gambling website. She's like, how often have you done overseas gambling? I was like, so $3,500. Calendar Girls on Saturday night. It was a gambling, overseas gambling website. She's like, how often have you done overseas gambling? I was like, never. And she goes, you're looking through, I can tell you've never actually, yeah. So the bank had intercepted that.

They're so good, aren't they? They really get onto it quick. And you get the money back too, don't they? They put that back into your credit card. Yeah, well, luckily it hadn't even gone out. For some reason they went, oh, this is the payment. Yeah, but someone had tried to spend $3,500 on overseas gambling. Yeah, I mean, we've seen Ben buy some stuff with this credit card. Yeah, well, luckily it hadn't even gone out for some reason. They went, oh, this is the payment. Yeah, but someone had tried to spend $3,500 on overseas gambling. Yeah, I mean, we've seen Ben

buy some stuff with this credit card. Stuff that we wouldn't want to talk to him about. There's a lot of stuff there. Yeah, but not overseas gambling. You can call him anything, but don't call him gambling. People are worried about, you know,

getting their weather gone with COVID, you know, and now, especially if your bank account's... Oh, your credit card statements. And you'd have to sit there and explain it in front of everyone and with Ashley. Oh, I'm sorry, it was just... Oh, no, that was... Oh, no, card statements. And you'd have to sit there and explain it in front of everyone and with Ashley. Oh, I'm sorry, it was just...

There's other stuff you can buy from that store. Calendars. They sell calendars. I needed a calendar. That's what I thought it was. Yeah, misleading. No actual mermaids at the Mermaids, but it was misleading. I thought it was Kelly Tarlton's.

Anyway, so you're on this call. So it's all fine. You got your, because they cancelled your card. Oh, yeah, cancelled the card. So it's just the going through that. Do you have to get a new card? Yeah, a new card. And then it's all like, what's set up to that card, I guess.

But it's better than the alternative, someone fleecing all the money out of your account. It's amazing how often it happens. Because the other week, did you get that text the other week going? Sure, I was talking to the bank lady about that. Yeah. There's a package for you or something, was that the one? Yeah, and you just got to basically have it paid for the postage or the top up for the postage.

Go to this website. Yeah. So they send that out to thousands of people and it's a numbers game. All they need is one person to come back. And you sort of go, oh, yeah, maybe I have got a package I'm waiting on, you know? Yeah, it's all convenience and timing. It happened to your flatmate, Bryony. Yeah, we went to the rugby

and we all entered a competition via text to win, I think it was a Samsung TV. And then she got an email a few days later, oh, you've won a Samsung product or something. And she was like, oh, yo. But then she realised she said, oh, yo. But then she realised she had submitted her entry via text, not via email.

So it was a different sort of... So just all timing and coincidence. Oh, no. Oh, no. Anyway, so Ben was on the phone to the bank and he was like, oh, you just see the intro to the podcast. So I was like, well, we can't let you know.

We can't let the loyal fans of the Boysenberries, the fans of Ben Boyce, know that he's not here. So I was like, well, I need to assume both roles. And I think I did a pretty convincing job. You used someone's text in 4487 saying you need to listen to it. Yeah, I need to listen to what the start of the podcast is. So I haven't heard it. This is yesterday's podcast featuring Jono and only Jono.

Welcome to the podcast. What a great show we had today, Ben. Oh, Jono, you were probably the best I've ever seen you do radio. You were amazing this morning. Oh, thanks, mate. You didn't have to. No, I mean, honestly, like working with you, it's a joy. Every morning I get up and I'm like, oh, it's an inspiration.

It's like you inspire me to be a better person. So, yeah, very generous of you. I don't think anyone could you tell the difference, Hugh? No. No, just me talking. That sounds like me there. Yeah, but then for some reason, Ben just turns abusive for no reason.

Ben, you're just saying stuff now. None of it makes sense. You don't make sense. I don't know why you're sledging me now. You've got no hair on your head. Mate, why are you abusing me? Come on. You started this saying I was an inspiration to you.

Yeah, I mean, none of it. You're a bald wanker. Okay. Enjoy the podcast. Hey, you, you bald prick. Just turns at the drop of a hat. Oh, I do that. I'm a monster.

He's volatile. Anyway, it was fun. I got to talk to both the voices in my head anyway. It was good. Wake up full of shame. Wake up with these guys. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. It's growing through your feet. Okay, ladies and gentlemen, this is the audio version of using your index finger. Wake up with these guys. And things going on in Buckingham Palace. Now, every day during lockdown, the Queen's been out horse riding.

I didn't know that. She rides horses. Yeah, every day. She's a big fan of riding horses. Has been doing it all the way through during lockdown. Still drives too, doesn't she? Queen Elizabeth as well. She's miserable on the photo they had of the Daily Mail. Because it was obviously a wet day.

She's all sort of rugged up and she's on a horse. Just looking like she's not enjoying it. But I'm sure at times she does enjoy it. Has she ever not looked miserable though? She's got a constant. But I'm sure at times she does enjoy it. Has she ever not looked miserable, though? She's got a constant, but I'm saying she's just consistently looking miserable, and you have to. That's what you do when you're a queen.

Yeah. You need to look like you're hating life. Well, it sort of demands respect, doesn't it? If someone never smiles, I just respect them more. Yeah, well, she's hardly going to do thumbs up and find a... Yeah, or like peace sign, or let's go. Yeah.

But I was just reading that in Buckingham Palace, an employer yesterday just pleaded guilty to stealing 77 items from the Royal Residence over the last couple of years. And now the person was only found out when basically a commander of the Royal Victorian Order, he had a medal that he stored at Buckingham Palace and he went, oh, I need to put this on for a ceremony.

Where's my medal? Couldn't find it. Then had a look at basically the equivalent of trade me and went, oh, my medal got, it's just been sold. And then tied it back to this person. Yeah, look, it was his own, yeah. That's hilarious. Because you could steal knives and forks and things,

couldn't you? All the cutlery. What else did they take? Oh, they, like, unusual things like framed, signed portraits and stuff like photos of people a photo album

from when Donald Trump was there at the you know like that was yeah Well if you thought any family in the world

wasn't you know weren't going to miss anything it would probably be the royal family they're not going to notice you know a signed photo

of Donald Trump missing my friend works in a shoe place and the same thing happened all these shoes went missing from the warehouse. They went on to trade me and then they were just selling them all in one big photo.

And then they traced it immediately back to the employee. Like they hadn't really removed themselves enough from the situation. We actually talked to Clark Gayford. Of course, he's with our Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern. And he and Jacinda had a private little meeting with the Queen. That sounded fascinating.

It was really nice. You go in and her sort of guards-in-waiting talk you through the procedure of, you know, how to address the Queen and how to, you know, enter the room and whatnot. The one thing I will say is that she was very engaged in New Zealand affairs and she knew details about things

that really, really surprised me. Wow. Clark's stolen ashtray after that. It's now on Trade Me. I love how she's really knowledgeable of New Zealand affairs so I hear Debbie's

having an affair with Trent from Sales. Both their partners don't know about it. Everyone must leave the room for this gossip. Now tell me, have you heard any more?

Oh come on on you guys are on the ground there you should know all these details get the department of internal affairs onto it

the queen just gossiping gas bagging please come in what have you heard what have you heard you didn't hear it from me

my lips are sealed low in calories and low in laughs it's Jono and Ben on my head. The A to Z of New Zealand. Do you want a few? You can pick it up there. We're calling every town and city in New Zealand.

It's something we do once a day. We're slowly working our way around New Zealand alphabetically, calling every town and city in New Zealand. Yeah, you're not a fan of the anthem. No, you like the anthem. You just think we could pick up the pace a bit, don't you? Yeah, I every town a city in New Zealand. Yeah, you're not a fan of the anthem. No, you like the anthem. You just think we could pick up the pace a bit, don't you? Yeah, I feel like it's a little slow. Now you probably go, oh, there's music that's a bit more upbeat.

Maybe we're just, you know, like lovely words, lovely sentiment. I love the way we do the Māori start to it. You know, it's great. Didn't we have a dance mix of the anthem just for Ben? Why don't you have a look for that for June? We'll try and do that at the end of this. But today, as we go around Aotearoa, heading to Kaitaia,

which is known as the gateway to the far north and only a select few have the pin to this gate. It's the last major town before you reach the top of New Zealand. And my only experience of Kaitaia is staying in a motel with the same person assumed every role in the establishment. He was running the front desk,

he was running the bar, cooking the food, cleaning the rooms, and I hope he was running the bar, cooking the food, cleaning the rooms and I hope he was getting paid all of those individual salaries because no one was working harder in New Zealand than that man and we're going to head through now to Posty, I think in Kaitaia. Merry Christmas Posty, this is Jess.

No, it's Jono and Ben from the Hits radio station. Really? How are you? Merry Christmas to you. We have to say Merry Christmas to everyone we. This is Jess. No, it's Jono and Ben from the Hits radio station. Really? How are you? Merry Christmas to you. We have to say Merry Christmas to everyone we speak to as well. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Nice to talk to you. Nice to talk to you. How's Kaitaia?

Kaitaia's good. Yeah, we phone every town in New Zealand. And today it's your turn. I'm not sure if you've called the right person. I'm from Australia, to be honest. Well, what do you think? As an incumbent to the country, what do you feel about Kaitaia? I think it's got a good sense of community.

You get to know everyone, kind of know everyone's business, which I suppose is an all right thing. Yeah, I like knowing everyone's business. What part of Australia did you come from? I came from a little country town near Brisbane called Kingaroy. And what brought you

to the winterless north, as they say? My husband. All right. Compare the both. What would you compare it? What do you prefer? I prefer New Zealand.

Yeah, well done. She's one of us. If you're in Australia, you would say you prefer Australia, but that's fine. That's fine. You're playing to your audience. No, I love the sense of, like, whānau is such a big thing here. It's not a thing in Aussie.

Oh, really? What, you ignore your family in Australia? Oh, we're just kind of out of each other's business. But here it's good. It's a whole community comes together. Oh, that's cool. Oh, that's a lovely thing about Kawhi. That's probably the nicest thing anyone's said about their town.

And it came from a pavlova-stealing Australian. Oh, pavlova-stealing. Emma, you stopped stealing our wonderful cakes and actors. And racehorses. And racehorses.

That's right, and bands and all sorts. What's been the best thing you've done since moving to Kaitai? Getting married. Oh, nice. Did you have a kiss

on the lips at the ceremony? That's normally what you do, isn't it? Yeah, no, I didn't kiss on the lips. I went to a wedding, there was a kiss on the cheek. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay. Oh, I thought that was unusual.

I've never seen a kiss on the cheek in a marriage situation. You think a marriage is going to last if it's a handshake? A formal handshake, I do. A formal handshake, a fist bump. Okay, and if we come to Kaitaia, what should we do? Visit the beaches. There is a lot of great swimming spots, yeah. We love your work.

Thank you for sharing your time with us. Don't worry. Merry Christmas to you. Merry Christmas, thank you. See you, mate. Bye. Like starting your day with Panda Eyes. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

Bye. Thanks to Sharesies, New Zealand's fastest growing share platform. Shares made easy. Jeez, I do that every day. I'm sorry, Sharesies. Listen, like a couple of parents wanting to adopt, we went to the broadcasting orphanage, didn't we, many years ago, Ben, and she was the only one left.

No one wanted her, and we said she'll do. From that day forward, we have many regrets, but we're in deep now. Here's Juliette with Spy. Thanks so much. Those lovely words. So Pink and her nine-year-old daughter, Willow, have performed a Christmas duet for Disney's holiday sing-along special. And my gosh, Willow takes after her mother. They know that Santa's on his way. He's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his way. She's incredible.

Isn't that so good? Yeah. Like, she's only nine years old. That's unreal. I felt like one of those judges on, like, a Britain's Got Talent, where the kid comes out and you're like, oh, yeah. You're going to be rubbish. And then you're like, whoa!

And everyone's looking amazed. This is the thing. We're getting younger and younger. We started with Lorde at 16. Benny came on the scene, what, at 12? Now we've got Pink's daughter at nine. We're going to be buying tickets for a toddler show at Vector at Spark Arena soon.

Yeah, she's very good. When's that out? I actually don't know. Sorry. I should know that. I'm pretending like I'm going to go and watch it. I'm probably not. Well, let me tell you something.

It'll be before Christmas. There you go. That's a safe bet. That Disney streaming service is bloody good, eh? They're just pumping out the content. Disney Plus, yeah. This sounds like an ad lib for them. Yeah, they're all great.

That's great. Yeah, incredible. And Felicity Huffman, she has landed her first acting role after serving out her 2019 prison sentence when she was a part of that whole college admissions scandal. She paid a college to try and get her daughter in and all that jazz.

The worst of all the crimes. Trying to get your children a good education. She spent 14 days in prison, but now she's got her first acting gig. It's a TV comedy series based on a baseball team sort of owner situation. But apparently as soon as she was out of prison,

the deals just came left, right and centre. Same happened with Martha Stewart. You remember when she served some time for tax evasion or something? And she's got a whole bunch of stuff. She does a cooking show with Snoop Dogg now. Well, I guess in some ways they've got a bit of fame or more fame out of it, you know, in the public eye. They love that in America, though, don't they?

Imagine if I went to prison. I would never work in this town again. Any publicity's good publicity. Yeah, to a certain extent, yeah. Yeah, true. Over there it's kind of celebrated, you know. Well, yeah, you've got a second chance of doing something. And you're right, there's people that are in for me

there's so many options for people over there they love a rags to riches story over there we love a riches then we'll rip you down to

rags story don't get too successful here in New Zealand we want to chop you down a peg or two and that is spy for more you can check

out the hitstock kai.nz we apologise in advance it's Jono and Ben on the hits Jono and Ben on the hits. Jono and Ben, merry Zoommas. There's that happy lady again.

We love her. Yeah, that's right. Now, we've mentioned this before. We just want to say it again. Obviously, this year's been a tough year for a lot of families, and we've got a special Santa Zoom lined up for some special New Zealand kids. Yeah, now, this is thanks to themarket.com, wonderful people from themarket.com.

They gave us a bloomin' PS5 to give away last Friday. Yeah, now this is thanks to themarket.com, wonderful people from themarket.com. They gave us a blimmin' PS5 to give away last Friday. Yeah, which is awesome. So now they've managed to get a hookup with Santa to do Zoom calls, a special one-on-one with some deserving kids. So if you want to register your child online, go to the hits.co.nz and tell us some of the things maybe on your child's wishlist

and we'll get Santa to maybe give them a Zoom yeah it's quite good doing it this way because you know we're cutting out the reindeer no reindeer slobber on the presents

oh yeah true never liked that layer of saliva reindeer saliva all over my presents it's all thanks to themarket.com even if you've been

naughty and nice you can find all you want for Christmas right there hey join us tomorrow Gillian Bell Hollywood actor is on the show we'll see you then

what more Jono would bet you can wake up with the boys weekdays from sex on the show. We'll see you then.