Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - December 07 - Doggy Dan, Big News Small Town, Do Different Coloured M&M's Taste Different?

Episode Date: December 7, 2020

Hello and happy Monday, 18 days until Christmas! If you know us, you'll know we love a good pun. And Ben's daughter Indie REALLY made him proud when she told a great punny joke, one that made Ben question whether she stole it from the internet. We also crossed to some Big News from a Small Town - Dylan from Rangiora received a very passive-aggressive note in his mailbox telling him to mow his berm because it looked ugly compared to the neighbours... He read us the letter and Jono had some assumptions about who wrote it! Doggy Dan also came on the show to answer your dog-related questions. He was probably a dog in a past life because that's how much he knows about dogs! Finally, former All Black Carlos Spencer joined us to talk about his new TV show - Carlos' Reno Rescue. Enjoy!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast on a Monday. Good weekend?

It was a good weekend. I spent, and I think I mentioned that this morning on the show, I spent probably an hour, 20, trying to untangle some Christmas lights. It was a long time. It beat me a couple of times. I was like, am I going to stop? And then I'm like, no. I've got to, I became quite determined to untangle these lights.

Yeah, I get you. You're just, there's the, what we forget about. We all enjoy Christmas. Don't get me wrong. Love it. Love it. Love the decorations. But there's a lot of administration required around Christmas, isn't there?

For us to enjoy just one day. I know. Too much. That's why I was like, I need to get the tree up. Because you want to give yourself as long a time as possible with that. Yeah, I put the tree up as well. So Saturday afternoon, when did you put your tree up? It was about Saturday.

Same time. Yeah, Saturday morning. Same time. Sink, bro. Sink. Yeah, and the thing that annoys me about, because Annie Pryor, the only thing she's going to leave me when she passes on is Christmas decorations. And they're all in tidy boxes, like she is Christmas, you know,

I'm pretty sure her and Santa might have. Oh, really? Mummy saw Mummy kissing. They were doing more than kissing. But anyway, so she's got all the decorations in individual boxes. So when you take one decoration out, the kids just rip them out and just want to, you know, play with them. And hang them on the tree. But they're not worried about the boxes.

They're like, guys, we need to get the boxes together. Or else because there's interior in the boxes that wrap around the decoration. You can put it back in the box. They go to, you know. I'm the only one in January packing down the tree. No one's there for the pack down. No one wants to do the pack down, no. Just me.

Yeah, the kids are out there enjoying summer. Yeah, I'm packing the Christmas tree. No one's there for the pack down. No one wants to do the pack down. Just me. Yeah, the kids are out there enjoying summer. Yeah, while you're unpacking the Christmas tree. When do you pack? When is your optimal pack down time? What date? Oh, it really depends, I guess, on when you've got a real tree or a fake tree. And it also depends on what your holiday schedule is. You know, some days you're like, well, we've got to wait for three weeks to come back.

We'll do all that in Feb. That was a bad idea. You know, so it does depend on that. If I had to come back, if I went away on holiday and I knew that was waiting for me, when I got home, it would almost be worth burning the house down. Because sometimes you go away on the 26th or something. So you take it, you're down. Is Christmas gone?

Christmas is gone definitely by the 27th. Right. Imagine that hanging over your head. Driving back and be like, oh, I've got to pack down the Christmas. And it's an hour and a half, isn't it? Yeah, it is. You just threw yours out the front of your house, didn't you, last year? Yeah, with the decorations still on it.

And then it became a dumping ground for the neighbourhood Christmas trees. That would be quite cool if you could just carry it up and store it with all the decorations on and then the next year you just bring it back out. That would, yeah. Have it permanently set. If you've got a fake tree, obviously, and you're like, eh, we plug it back in, then we put it back out that would yeah it's like have it permanently set if you've got a fake tree obviously and you're like we plug it back in then we put it away like that maybe that's a wee invention the almost the pre-decorated tree yeah you push a button it's ready to go it's all good to go anyway a lot of christmas tree shit here yeah there is quite a lot probably too much

but we've got a fun show for you today. Doggy Dan, a dog expert, answers some very interesting dog-related questions on the show. And Carlos Spencer, former All Black turned, well, TV show host now. Yeah, he's got a new show coming out. Quite an interesting format, too. And he wants you to be on the program. So you can find out about that very shortly. Enjoy the potty. The soggy cornflakes of radio.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. I like a pun. A dare joke joke some people say it's the lowest form of wit and I probably agree you have built forged a marvellous career off puns

haven't you for many years can I just interrupt one second you build pundastruck pundastruck was some of his

greatest work pundastruck we thought we'd do a segment around puns didn't we that's right it went once Pundastruck. We thought we'd do a segment around puns, didn't we? That's right. And I went once, we gave it a go once, and we rang up a business and did puns over the phone,

and they're like, why are you doing this? And then we questioned ourselves why we're doing this, and so we stopped. No one enjoyed Pundastruck. I really liked it. Did you like it? I loved it. The intro was great.

Yeah, play the intro again, Drew. You've been... I feel like it's clever wordplay, but I've come to realise it's not. And it's fine. I know, I know. I'm staying in my lane. You know where your place is in the market.

But I did, I talked to you about this, I think on the Saturday morning show we do on The Hits. I really liked a little post I saw online because every now and again other people post stuff and there was a picture of Justin Timberlake, and I was like oh that's great, is that Justin Timberlake? And then they had a picture of a log in water

and then they had, Timber, Justin Lake, and I was like oh that's good So that appealed to me. That warmed the punny cockles of his heart But then my daughter Indy over the weekend she's eight years old, and she came up to me now she claims she came up with this joke by herself

and I haven't googled it because I don't want to know otherwise but I'm like well maybe I passed on a rich. The punny gene the gene pool runs deep through the boys generation. She was like hey dad maybe there's a store called Bieber and I'm like okay Bieber there's a store called Bieber and someone

rings and goes where are you where are you and the person goes I'm Justin Bieber I'm like okay, okay Bieber, there's a store called Bieber and someone rings and goes where are you, where are you and the person goes I'm Justin Bieber I'm like oh Did you shed a little tear? I'm so proud of you. I've never been more proud of my kids at this moment right now. I was like I can't Google this because maybe she's stolen it from the

internet and even so I'd probably be more proud because we've done that as well for many years stealing jokes from the internet. But if she hasn't, I'm like, oh, she's come up with this little pun joke all by herself. Has anyone heard that before? We'll throw the text out, 4487. Don't break my heart. Oh, we'll just do some market research because this could be original gear.

Justin Bieber. Take it on tour. Take that one punny joke on tour. I mean, you'd almost want to name your store Bieber. I suppose you wouldn't be allowed for copyright reasons. Or a cafe. Or like a restaurant. Or Justin Bieber.

I'm like, oh, that was, you know. A bar. Yeah. Oh, genius stuff.

The problem is though with the internet is you do think, many times you think you've come up with something. Yeah. And then it's so

disheartening when you Google it and you're like, oh no, 500,000 other people have come up with this. We did that all the time for the TV show.

Yeah, great idea. It's a great idea. Oh, someone's already done that. Jimmy Fallon's done that. James Corden's. And they've done it better than our idea as well too. That was always the disheartening thing. Well, I feel like your punniness is rubbing off on Juliet as well.

She's your chicken. I occasionally throw some out there and I get really proud of myself. As my third daughter, her adopted third daughter. I'm very proud as well when you make a little pun joke. Thank you very much. Julia's always like, you're never going to be my real dad.

Why are you adopting me when I'm perfectly happy with my current family? That's weird. Hey, just play the pun destruct intro to get us out of there. All right, the text, no one's heard it before.

Oh, okay. Three people come through so far. 4487 Indy could have some OG content there. Remember to double pump the virgals. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. This is the big news. Town, town, town. We're heading to North Canterbury

where a tale of threatening, anonymous, tidy, handwritten letters. A tale of one resident who's getting his grouse kicked in a cutting note on a piece of refill paper. Yeah, it's an interesting story, this. So, well, the guy's got it. We'll get him to explain it. It came out to his letterbox,

and he had a passive-aggressive letter left in it. Yeah, as they say, being the grouse is always greener, but not in this case. It's just a little longer, and right now we're joined on the big news by Dylan in Rangiora. Welcome to the big news small town, listen. Yeah, as they say, being the grass is always greener, but not in this case. It's just a little longer, and right now we're joined on the big news by Dylan in Rangiora. Welcome to the big news small town, Dylan. Oh, man. I'm bloody

good. How are you guys? Oh, we're doing very well. Rangiora, a wonderful part of the country. My parents used to live in Westbelt, Dylan. Oh, there you go. Yeah. I always bang on about how wide the road is in Westbelt. I tell you what, the roads here are very wide. You're right, John. Yeah, I mean, you start crossing them

on Tuesday, by Thursday you make it to the other side of the road. Many chickens have been lost crossing that road. So there's, well actually, speaking of roads and what's next to the road, you've created a bit of news because of your berm outside the front, the grass berm outside the front of your property.

Yeah, believe it or not. So what the deal was, you went to your letterbox last week and you found a letter in there basically about your berm and your grass. Yeah, so I got home one day after work and there's a little letter addressed to me pretty much stating how disgusting my lawn and my front lawn in Burma are compared to everyone else's on our street. Yeah, right. So I don't know if you have the letter handy now.

I think I do. Yeah, we'll get you to read it out. Yeah. Shall I guess? I'll hold you there, Dylan. I'll get some music and you can read out the letter, Dylan. Here we go. Yeah, sounds good.

To the occupier. As I walk along the footpath most days, and you can read out the letter, Dylan. Here we go. Yeah, sounds good. To the occupier, as I walk along the footpath most days, I notice that your outside lawn is not mowed. Everyone along the street has their outside mowed. A tidy lawn mowed reflects on the people living in the house. It would be nice to see it done regularly. It's definitely from it now.

I know, I don't want to stereotype. Don't. But it looks like old person writing. It's spaced out. They've written on every second line and the words are spaced out. You know, it's... Yeah. But your dad, your old dad, John,

he likes, he mows other people's berms because this thing sort of upsets him, right, John? Yeah, maybe I can send John Pryor over to your house. That's funny. And so you don't know who this anonymous letter is from? No idea. But I know that other people in the past have been getting anonymous letters, but they don't want to come out by the looks of things.

Let's talk about centimetreage. How long was your lawn? Well, we're looking probably about maybe five to eight centimetres on the highest part. So it's a little bit longer. When to how often would you cut your berm, your front lawn? Oh, in all honesty, I'd usually do it at least once a month. Right. But, you know, it's been raining all my days off and my lawnmowers plan up, so.

Once a month's a good rotation, isn't it? That's what I thought. Do you know, Ben, we've spoken about this before. Ben hates grass, and so he's just laid down AstroTurf. Yeah, so maybe that's what you should do. I tell you what, it's a game changer. It's great for not having to mow your lawn. Yeah, so it's good.

And it's great for making your house look like a tennis court. I haven't got a lot of lawn, but I've now put AstroTurf down, so I don't have to mow it. So that's always an option. Has this letter spurred you on to mow more regularly, Dylan, or the opposite? Pretty much the opposite. I was going to mow my lawn just the other day after I got the letter, but, you know, it just kind of arched my back up a bit. You know what, I'm just going to go another couple of weeks, I reckon. It was a nice letter. It wasn't, you know, like a... It was quite passive-aggressive. It was couple of weeks, I reckon. It was a nice letter. It wasn't, you know, like a...

It was quite passive-aggressive. It was sort of saying, your lawn's a mess and so are you, basically. Yeah, exactly. And so when I got it, I initially wrote on the back of it, go yourself, and almost put it back in the letterbox.

But then you were like, why would they come back and pick up this letter? And have I just Written an abusive letter To myself Yeah Oh Dylan All the best with

Mow your lawn At some stage in the future And I love it He talks to you About this very funny story Awesome Thanks guys Serving bowls of lolls

For breakfast Actual lolls May not be served It's Jono and Ben On their heads Snoop Dogg He'll just bloody Turn up on anything At the moment Snoop Dogg's He'll just bloody turn up on anything at the moment.

Snoop Dogg's on the Christmas special. Awesome. There you go, that's on Apple TV. It does look pretty cool. There's something on just standard normal TV, still battling away but doing great stuff. Dog Almighty tonight on TVNZ2. When you say we're battling away, it makes it sound like...

Well, you and I are battling away. Yeah, we are. Actually, the networks are doing really well, especially TVNZ. And they've got Dog Almighty. It's a reality TV show. We're getting down to the last couple of weeks. Only, I think,

four more episodes to go. Yeah, it's the crunch time. And joining us is dog expert Doggy Dan who's on the show with us. How's it going, Doggy Dan? I am great. Do you get your family

to call you dog expert Doggy Dan? They call me Doggy Dad. Doggy Dad sometimes. That's good. Now, I've got a question. I always come with a question for you. But I heard the other day that dogs sweat a lot through their paws. Is that true?

Oh, now you're putting me on the spot. I mean, I don't want to say yay or nay to that one. I mean, I know they don't sweat through their coats. That's why their tongues are always out too, isn't it? They must be, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And so that is actually a really, really important thing to realise that because a big part of dog behaviour is understanding

when our dogs are actually stressed. And we're not very good at recognising when they become stressed. So if your dog's tongue is hanging out and it's not a hot day and your dog hasn't been running around, then it's very, very likely that your dog is actually stressed and that's the way of kind of... You know, the same way as when we become stressed, we start to sweat and so that's... Dogs stress out, do they?

What would stress a dog out on an average day? Gosh, a lot of dogs are stressing a lot of the time, you know. If the dog kind of thinks that they need, you know, if the dog thinks they're in charge, for want of a better word, and needs to be looking after the owner, and then the owner leaves the house... Right, there's separation anxiety sort of thing, right? Separation anxiety is pretty much a dog stressing out like that. But also, you know, walking down a busy road with big lorries whizzing by can stress a dog out. Or strange things. You may start playing the guitar or put an umbrella up and the dog just does not understand what on earth that thing is.

Now, sorry, as I say, friends of ours, their dog stays home sometimes during the day if they're not there. And they will choose a TV show that they think the dog would like. They have quite a lot of debates over what show the dog would like to watch. Is it an Ellen DeGeneres? Is it a Judge Judy? Yeah, is it National Geographic? What have they put it on for the dog? And the dog will often just sit there and have it on in the background or sort of, yeah.

So I suppose you'd hear of those sorts of stories happening. Totally. And that's where, you know, I think sometimes it's really good to realise we are a different species. However, there's a lot of times where we're very similar and this is an example where I'd say we're similar. That just like some people do love TV and some people will watch anything on TV

and some people are very specific. They have to watch certain TV shows. Dogs are the same. You know, some dogs have a certain TV show. There's a lot of dogs love Animal Planet, for example. They love the animals. Yeah, a lot of dogs watch certain TV shows. Dogs are the same. You know, some dogs have a certain TV show. There's a lot of dogs love Animal Planet, for example. They love the animals. Yeah, a lot of dogs watch Dog Almighty too. People send us photos of their dogs

watching the dogs on the screen. My mate says his dog absolutely loves it. He sent me a photo. I was thinking we should do hashtag dogs loving. Dog Almighty. The number one show for dogs in the country, not humans. We're killing it with the dog demograph. But not with the humans though, that's all right. At least those dogs in the country, not humans. We're killing it with the dog demograph. Yeah. But not with the humans, though.

That's all right. At least those dogs are watching. Get their dog dollar. And I know Bronwyn, because Bronwyn, you're talking about our friend Bronwyn, who plays TV shows for their dog. Huge fan of The Chase, The Tipping Point, the game shows. Oh, yeah, loves it all.

Loves it. Now, Doggy Dan with us on the line from Dog Almighty. If you've got a question for Doggy Dan, 0800-THE-HITS. Caroline, welcome from Auckland. Lovely to have you on New Zealand's Breakfast. Oh, hello. Thanks so much for having me. You've got a question for Doggy Dan, 0800 THE HITS. Caroline, welcome from Auckland. Lovely to have you on New Zealand's Breakfast. Oh, hello. Thanks so much for having me. You've got a question for Double D.

I sure do. We've got a gorgeous golden lab called Nora. Nora Jones-Saron is her name. And she is a blind foundation trained school dropout. Who we got when she was two years old. She's now five. And she's got this habit of eating stones, particularly when she's on a lead.

And I just wondered if Doggy Dan could help us out and give us an idea of how to stop her doing that. Yeah, eating stones. So that's one of those ones where I could make up a story as to why she's doing it, and I'm grateful that you didn't ask why because I really don't know, and sometimes it's very hard to know exactly why she's doing it and I'm grateful that you didn't ask why because I really don't know and sometimes it's very hard to know exactly why she's doing it. I think it's probably as much a habit as anything and so it's a case of breaking the habit and usually with habit breaking it's the most important

thing is to replace the old behavior with a new one. So that may include providing her with something that she absolutely loves to have in her mouth when she's walking on the lead. A healthy, a large healthy treat, like a bone, for example, but a cannon bone, a big bone, you've got to be careful with bones and I don't want you wandering down the street

with your dog with a meaty bone in its mouth in case it meets another dog because that could be... Oh, yeah. True. I usually just put a chew toy in Ben's mouth when he starts eating stones and it works well. I'll just go a quick Google and I don't, again,

you always take these things with a grain of salt or with a rock. But nutritional deficiencies, someone said it could be. The dog is searching for something lacking in its... I don't know. Someone said it. I don't know if that's true or not. I just want to throw that out there. Yeah, that's a good point, Ben.

And that did cross my mind. However, if it's a stone, my gut instinct is saying unless the stone actually breaks down or has a lot of nutrients on the outside of it, it's unlikely to be providing much nutrition. Yeah, true. And it can be quite dangerous

according to this other thing for dog-seeked stones. What happens at the other end, Caroline, with these stones? Sometimes she vomits them up, and, yeah, sometimes they do come out the other end as well. So, yeah, we're a bit worried about her, what's happening inside there. You know how they go, oh, have some concrete pills and harden up. Maybe someone's said that to your dog and has taken it literally.

So you're suggesting, Caroline, when she takes the dog, takes Nora Jones for a walk maybe offers an alternative a little treat maybe some treats yep or a chew toy or something like a pig's ear

or something like that I mean a deer antler or something I mean obviously you have to be careful but it'd be interesting to see if she has a deer antler in her mouth which she's chewed but it'd just be interesting to see does she kind of ignore all the stones because she deer antler in her mouth which she's chewed. But it would just be interesting to see, does she kind of ignore all the stones because she's got something in her mouth?

And that is where I'd go, hey, that's how you can solve it. Good on you, Caroline. Love your work. You have a wonderful Monday. Appreciate it. Thanks, Ben. Cheers. See you, mate.

Lovely chatting. Cheers, boy. And we'll go to Alison Hamilton. Welcome from the Waikato. Alice, your question for Doggy Dan. Yes, I have a little labradoodle. She just won't stop barking at every person or anything that blows past, walks past our house, everything, every time.

And do you have any tips for that? Because it's getting really annoying. I feel like being a bit of a monkey and asking you, could you give me an example of how the bark sounds? Are you setting me up here? This is degrading, but necessary. No, no, no.

I'm half joking. I'm guessing it's, is it that sort of yap, yap, yap, yap, yap? Yeah, very yappy. So usually that's the kind of chest beating, stay away from my property,

go away, you know. I see. So you can try and retrain your dog to not bark. However, I would say the fastest way to go about it is to show your dog that you're in charge and you've got everything covered. There is a way of showing your dog that

you're in charge. And when you put that in place, you'll find your dog just switches off and calms down. And that's the key bit. Because when your dog is watching what you do and you're in charge, to be honest, this is all you need to do and i've done this thousands of times when your dog's barking you walk up to the window you have a look and you say thank you you walk away and you'd be blown away the dogs literally go oh you've had a look and you're not bothered okay it doesn't take long before the dog goes okay if you're not bothered i'm not bothered but you have to be the one in charge for your dog to actually take notice. So you can try that. However, if it doesn't work, it's very likely your dog thinks they're in charge. Well, I think they are.

You're basically living in the dog's house. Are you paying the dog rent, Alice? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Well, give that a go. If your dog's barking, go and have a look at what they're barking at and say thank you and calmly walk away. Yeah, calm is the key. You know, the thing that usually goes wrong is the dog barks and we shout stop it and the dog barks again and we shout knock it off and we shout knock it off and the dog kind of barking, going I'm barking

as loud as I can and we're shouting. I've been trying this at home actually, Doggy Dan. With Bo as well. It's quite cool and I quite like going up to the dog and going, I've got this. You know, when someone's at the door, you're like, thanks, I've got this. You'd be amazed. Drop your energy. And walk up and say, thank you very much. And he's a bit more relaxed about it. Hey, good on I got this. You'd be amazed. Drop your energy. Yeah. And Walker would say, thank you very much. And he's a bit more relaxed about it.

Hey, good on you, Alice. You go and have a wonderful day. That's your job, okay? You promise me you'll do that. I promise. All right, look after yourself. See you, mate. Appreciate it.

Cheers, Alice. And Doggy Dan, thank you so much. You go and have a wonderful day as well. That's your job. All right, and Dog Almighty. Dog Almighty back tonight, 7.30, TVNZ 2. All getting down to the semi-final week this week. Yes, very exciting.

Eggs for breakfast. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Saturday afternoon, I just hear, ah, from Poppy, my daughter's room. She's eight. And I was like, oh, God, she's found my body shots. Photo shoot. Seen those in the Herald?

Body shots. Yeah, everyone looks great, though, don't they? Why don't you send me some body shots this Christmas, mate? I'll get some done. Give me some body shots. But no, it turns out it wasn't my body shots. And I ran down to the room and she's like, look, and perched inside a tiny little dollhouse

is this massive pigeon. Imagine just staring, just staring back at us like, what's the problem? But, you know, pigeons don't understand that when you're in a bedroom there's a big problem. Yeah, so how'd it got inside? I don't know. There's an old sort of fireplace thing in her room. So I'm

thinking it might have fallen down the chimney or whatever. But yeah, it was kind of like the story of Goldilocks but instead of eating porridge it just pooed all over the room. That's the only thing. That's a Goldilocks but instead of eating porridge it just pooed all over the room. Yeah. That's the only thing. That's a Goldilocks she comes along

and I don't want to dog-leg this but she eats a boiling hot porridge. Well she tries a bit she says oh too hot. Too hot. Room temperature porridge.

Yeah. And a cold porridge. But the bears have obviously gone out to leave the porridge. Who makes porridge and then leaves? And like a different type they must have different pots.

Different temperatures. Because then you're all going to come back and the hot porridge is going to be room temperature, the room temperature porridge is going to be cold. Now they'll be like, oh that's too cold. I was like, yeah, you're right. The system was all up there. Anyway, that's besides the point. Well they're bears, mate, they're bears. Why are they making porridge anyway? That's probably what you need to

focus more on. That is real. So I don't know whereabouts in the marriage negotiation this conversation came up, but I'm, you know, intruders in the household. That falls under my jurisdiction, apparently. No, not for me. No, not for me either.

Hate it when I hear a noise in the night. You go down and check it out. Really? Because this wasn't discussed in our nuptials. So anyway, I got a towel and I hate picking up birds. You know, any bird looks a bit awkward inside, doesn't it? Yeah, because you're trying to do the right thing, but you also, they don't know exactly what you're trying to do,

so they can get a bit frightened by it. So it's good. It sounds like you did the right thing there. Yeah, so I put it in a nice towel and then I was like, oh, what we'll do is we'll just place it on the deck. It's obviously not in the mood for flying at the moment. Right, yeah. And so, yeah, I just put it on the edge of the deck

and placed it there. We went back inside, and we kept an eye on it just through the window to make sure it was all right. Oh, nice. Then the neighbour's cat came along and ate it. Oh, no. In the space of about two and a half minutes.

It was a bloodbath. Oh, no. Oh, oh. Poppy the space of about two and a half minutes. It was a bloodbath. Oh, no. What? Oh, oh. Poppy sitting at the window going, oh. Oh, no, she first starts going, oh, look, the cat's coming to play with it. And I'm like, what? And came sprinting, and I was like, Harvey, Harvey.

Oh, no. The cat's like, mate, you cannot tell me what to do. You're not the boss of me. Oh, jeez. Cats, eh? The cats just, yeah. They get in there. So I wanted to open up cat chat this morning on 0800 The Hits, 4487.

You got some cat chat for me, Ben, please? I don't know if I've told you this story, because I know you don't like anything involved with eyes. No, I don't. Have I told you this one before? You don't tell me. I'm taking my headphones off. Have I told you?

I'm plugging my fingers in my ears. Oh, I feel like maybe I have told you this story. I hate this story. No, I won't take it again. No, you've got to tell it now. It involves a kitten that my friend was playing with and he was sort of, you know, playing, you play around with the kitten

and the kitten's claw went up through his eyelid and then he just got hooked in like a fishhook and then my friend had to sort of like try and get the kitten's claw out of his eyelid like a fishhook. Just sort of caught up. Has he finished? Yeah, so they went

through the eyelid. Oh God. But everyone was fine in the end. It was traumatic. Could have been a lot worse though. Jeez, I mean, round by your eyes.

Just stop talking about eyes. Stop talking about eyes. Say, oh, 800 of the hits, that's how it works. Cat chat. What's your best cat story? You know, it doesn't have to be

anything traumatic. Maybe a cat went missing for a number of years and then just all of a sudden turned up one day. A lot of cats sort of get under the wheels of cars and trucks, don't they, and travel. Travel long distances and then they're fine, yeah. So watch your cat chat this morning. Let's get the phones open. 0800 HITS.

Love to have you on New Zealand's Breakfast. All right, let's find some prizes for you. It is heading up to Christmas. Give us a call. 0800 HITS. Let's go to Auckland. Sandy Moreno. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. How are you let's find surprises for you. It is heading up to Christmas, so give us a call. Are we under the hits? Let's go to Auckland. Sandy Moreno, welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. How are you?

I'm good. How are you guys? Oh, mate, we're doing very well. We're doing well. Cat chat, what happened? Well, I had a little mouse inside the house, and I don't like killing things, so I bought this humane little mouse trap, caught it,

and then the next morning went to the kitchen with my daughter. I said, oh, yeah, we've got the mouse, so we went to put it outside. So we were just walking along the deck. And then all of a sudden, I sort of opened up the little mouse, the trap, put the mouse out onto the grass. But before I could do anything, the evil ragdoll from next door was there. And that was it straight into its mouth.

So I was like, oh, no. All that time in the mouse trap and trying to be humane about it all and ended up straight to the mouse of the ragdoll. It's the circle of love. I know, I felt dreadful. Oh, you do feel dreadful in those situations because you're trying to do, you know, a nice thing and then the cats, they don't realise.

I know, I know, horrid little thing. What will be, will be. What will be, will be. Can't do much about it. Hey, Sandy, you did your part. You played your part. You elongated that mouse's life. Yes, exactly.

Gave it another two days on planet Earth. Hold the line, Sandy. We'll find something for you from the bride's cupboard, all right? Oh, thank you, guys. Good on you. I remember my mother-in-law was telling me this story about how the cat dragged over the leg of lamb. That's right.

Someone came knocking on the door saying, did my cat drag over a... Oh, no, they came with a leg of lamb. They're like, oh, my cat goes around as a cat burglar, basically, just stealing stuff from people's houses. And I mean, any cat that's got the core strength to drag a leg of lamb back home, like a tiger. Enormous. Let's welcome Olivia to the show. How are you, Liv?

Good, how are you? We're doing well. Cat chat, what have you got? My cat, Gracie, went missing while I was living in rota rua at march the 21st 2019 and we just moved an hour and a half away from rota roa this year in march and in june the 26 2020 she was posted on that lost and found rota royal pet page and we drove over there and it was her the only way we found out it was her is because when she was about a year old

she had her legs snapped and she had a pin in it so she had a scar. Oh my goodness, so that's pretty much a year it'd been missing. Yeah, so a year and three months she was missing. Wow. Just going wild around Rotorua, riding the luge, doing the zipline, gondola.

From where we lived so I did a pamphlet drop, walked the streets calling everything and never found her. And so when your cat is reunited with you, does the cat remember you? I think so. She remembered my little chihuahua

because her and my cat were like best friends. And when I reunited them, they were like rubbing on each other and like best friends again. Oh, film that. Chuck that on YouTube for a couple of hits, babes. That's an amazing cat story. Hold the line.

We'll find something for you from the price cupboard, all right? Thank you. And we'll go to Glyn in Christchurch. How's the Garden City this morning, Glyn, all right? Yes, I'm good. Thank you. Lovely to hear your dulcet tones on the show this morning. Cat chat.

Yes. Well, I had my old boy Bumble, and he was the friendliest lad. And we lived on a farm, and I decided to get some fantail pigeons. I had about eight of them, and they became really friendly. I used to feed them by hand and everything, and they got super friendly. And I'd just wander around the deck and stuff. And anyway, Bumble decided he didn't want them to be there anymore, and he killed them.

Oh, shit. That was an abrupt ending to the story. I was expecting a much nicer story than that. It was almost Harry McCleary-esque, wasn't it, at the beginning? And he didn't want them, so he killed them. Oh, jeez. All right. The end.

Thank you. Thank you. Mind you, cats and pigeons, not a great combo. No. The cat amongst the pigeons is a saying, isn't it? Now you've pretty much literally put the cat amongst the pigeons. That's on you, Glenn. That is on you.

Hold the line, Glenn, for that traumatic, traumatic story. We've got to send you out a prize. I don't know why, but I said it at the start. I'm regretting saying that now. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Bye.

Thanks to Sharesies, New Zealand's fastest growing share platform. Shares made easy. Here is three minutes of Juliet telling us celebrity gossip and we sit around nattering about the topics like a couple of grandparents at high tea. What have we got, Ju? So Daniel Radcliffe, he's Harry Potter in the Harry Potter movies. You'll know his face.

He isn't on social media and he has never really been on social media either and he said the reason why, which is probably very valid when you're of status like him. When he was younger and in the Harry Potter films, he would Google his name and then see all these negative comments about himself. And then he was like, well, if I get social media, that just amplifies it. But then he also said that, you know, I considered getting Twitter, but then you'd just wake up to news stories being like, Daniel Radcliffe gets in an argument with a random person on Twitter just because he probably gets so caught up in it all.

So yeah, he's not on social media for that reason. Interesting, isn't it? A lot of those stories you hear about people, and I'm sure there's probably plenty of positive comments on the internet about Daniel Radcliffe, but he's probably just going to search out the negative one. You don't even remember the negative one. And focus in on that.

For sure. And I think Rupert Grint only recently just joined Instagram maybe a few weeks ago. He's Ron Weasley. Ron Weasley, yeah, yeah, yeah. So probably smart from him to stay away from that. I mean, you're not on social media. Oh, here we go again.

She's a whole man, you're not on social media. It's a very good thing. I'm not adverse to it. Like, it's definitely got a great place in the world. To be honest, I found it like it was a whole other job. I see poor Ben over there. He's hustling away. He's doing a whole, he's having to take the photos and write captions.

But then it is becomes another job. You know, some people becomes the job, their job. Yeah, full-time gig. Yeah. Isn't there a doco on Netflix at the moment with people who have created Facebook algorithms? Social Dilemma, right? And they're saying they would never let

their children go on social media. And it's the people that created it. They're the ones who make it. Yeah, yeah. I watched that

documentary. It was very eye-opening. I was like, okay, I'm going to not delete my apps, but I'll turn my notifications off. I still haven't

turned my notifications off. Well, you were trying to cut down your phone time from three hours to two hours a couple weeks ago, and you got a new phone, and it

increased from three hours to four hours. Yeah, it's not very good. I think my screen time over the weekend was shocking as well. What would you do without social media? Do you think you could exist? Well, in January, I'm going away for three weeks without my phone, so that'll be good for me.

That'll be good. That'll be good. I won't have my phone on me. A rehabilitation. Yeah. It'd be interesting to see how dating would go. If you took away Tinder, Bumble, and all the dating to see how dating would go. If you took away Tinder, Bumble

and all the dating apps, how people would actually find partners. Yeah. In 2020. Ah, right. You'd have to go back to the old basics

of just going to a bar, chatting up a lady or a dude, you know? That old way of doing it. And in other news, Warner Brothers,

they've announced that their entire 2020, they've announced that their entire 2020, they've announced their entire 2021 movie release schedule, which is what they do every year. But they've announced

that they're going to be releasing all of those movies onto the HBO streaming service at the same time as releasing them all in cinemas. Oh, so they are going to release them in cinemas.

Yeah. But I mean, there's not as many people obviously going to the cinemas, particularly overseas. Yeah, exactly. The virus is horrible. And so everyone's kind of like, well, if you're taking them or what,

if you're putting it on a streaming service, everyone's just going to go to the streaming service because it's so much easier. You don't have to pay $20 for a movie ticket. You don't have to have teenagers pashing behind you, vaping, throwing popcorn at your head. Throwback to those days. Let me call back going to the movies.

I agree. I love going to the movies. Oh, yeah, I love the movies too. I loved it until the last time I went. They turned the lights on at the end. Why would they turn the lights on in the theater? Have you seen a movie theater? Find your way out, I guess.

A movie theater with the lights on? Bright lights. Oh, right, right. Like the flick, the switch on the wall lights. Oh, right. This is what it looks like. It's confronting. Not boot lighting.

No, no, no. It feels like people just make such a mess in the movie theatre. For some reason you feel you can dump everything in there. Popcorn everywhere. No other place you go to. It's not like you go to a restaurant and you just tip your plate out on the floor afterwards. But that's kind of what the movie theatre is. I saw a guy unloading his recycling bin and just tipping it out at the end of the movie.

Why are we doing this? Someone will deal with this. You feel just because you're in a room of darkness, you can just do anything? Yeah. The poor person has to clean it up between sessions. We've got 10 minutes to do it. Oh, 0800-THE-HITS-4487.

Actually, if you've worked in a movie theatre, what's the most random item you've found in the theatre after a viewing? That would be very interesting to know. That is Spy. For more, you can check out thehits.co.nz. Just like a chocolate milkshake, only white and disappointing. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, Carlos Spencer is a legendary All Black

known for his flashy displays for Auckland. He rubbed up a lot of Canterbury Crusader fans over the years. He's also the handsome face of Toppy Pops. You remember that in the TV ads? Well, now Carlos is hosting a new TV show on TVNZ coming soon. It's called Carlos' Renault Rescue, and he joins us in the studio. Great to have you here, Carlos.

Morning, boys. How we going? Oh, lovely to see you, Carlos. Now, this is just pulling back the curtain a bit. When Carlos walked in, I went to shake his hand and I was like, uh-oh, I've got chewing gum in my hand.

But then I panicked and I put the chewing gum in my pocket. Should we put it in your pocket? I'm sure it's half the length of my hand. And now it's stuck inside my pocket. But anyway, this isn't your problem, Carlos. No, it feels like it's his problem. Now, you have got a new show coming out on TVNZ.

Tell us about it. Yeah, it's based around a Renault show, putting the tool belt on. Are you quite handy with the tools? Well, I like to think I am. Yeah. You know, I've done a bit over the years, but it's more based around sort of DIY stuff. And, you know, I've flipped a few houses when I used to live here in Auckland.

And flipped off the Crusaders fans when you're playing rugby as well too. Yeah, I've flipped them off a few times. We won't go there. Okay, I am sorry. So it's awesome. So you're looking for deserving families to sort of help out as well. It's got quite a lot of heart to it, this show. Yeah, it is.

So we're basically looking for, like you said, just amazing Kiwis, community heroes, essential workers. We're looking for obviously people you said, just amazing Kiwis, you know, community heroes, essential workers. We're looking for, obviously, people to nominate these characters or these amazing Kiwis. We'd like to keep it a surprise and sort of surprise them. So we might go out and get some good stories, what makes them tick and why they do this sort of stuff. It's a renovation show with heart.

That's good. Unlike The Block, which is a renovation show with pointless challenges. If you know someone and you want to nominate someone you think is deserving, go to tvnz.co.nz slash reno and you can nominate people. It's not too late, right? That's right. We've probably got another four weeks before we finalise everyone.

And then after New Year's, we obviously get into it. This is a new path for you, isn't it? TV presenting? It is, yeah. So it's something different and something exciting as well. You know, rugby's been a big part of my life for probably the last sort of 25, 30 years. And to

sort of, I wouldn't say move away from it, but do something different. TV and obviously the ability to give back to some needy people or some deserving people is something good, especially, I suppose, in the time the year that we've had with COVID and I've obviously

been privileged throughout my career and I've had a lot given to me but now it's just an opportunity for me to obviously give back and share some special moments with some special people We were actually just talking about your rugby career just before you came in would this be fair to say you were probably quite, you were the innovator

in terms of advertising sponsorships, in terms of style, your fashion style. Well, it's true, but they're all blacks now. For a while, they wouldn't play in coloured boots. Now they do. Now they've got their peroxide hair and all sorts of stuff. But at the time, you were one of the first players almost to have that, and that kind of polarised people a little bit. Yeah, I suppose I was a little bit different and I was probably like that growing up, coming from a small town. I just liked

being different, you know, I just liked trying things you know, I was ambitious sometimes that meant, you know, getting outrageous haircuts and getting a bit of shit from the old man and telling him to pull my head in Oh really? Did you kind of revel in, I mean you did you had people who absolutely loved you

and people who, and the Canterbury fans, I guess, you probably rubbed them up the wrong way because it was that rivalry between Auckland and Canterbury. Did you kind of revel in that? I did. It sort of gied me on. Obviously, do what we do. The criticism and the crap comes with it.

It's part of the territory. But for me, man, I love that, you know, I thrived off that sort of stuff, you know what I mean? I didn't take any of it to heart because you probably couldn't afford to. And it's a different, it would be a different era now too with social media. I guess a lot of the players are probably bombarded. I mean, if a player has a bad game, you can literally go and message him directly. Yeah, I know.

It must be a hard thing to deal with. It probably would have been a different back in those days. I wish you were pretty lucky back then, you know, unless you read the newspaper, you didn't really hear much about it. Unless you're walking down the street and someone goes out the car window. I'm going to sound like a crazy stalker here, but I was a massive fan, Carlos.

You were one of my heroes. All over my books, I had the same haircut, the short haircut push forward. Like Carlos said, if I had to choose a number for anything, it was number 10. I remember going to Christchurch and when I was studying there

and people used to write into the paper and there was one guy that would talk up Mertens. So I'd write back. We had a little tussle with the paper that I would write, Carlos had a good game. Then he'd write back another couple of weeks later and I'd go, oh, yeah. I was like winding up a Crusaders fan. Yeah, awesome.

I like it. Yeah. It's funny though. Carlos is like, can I leave now? Sorry, did I make that weird? I did make that weird. Sorry, guys. Now, you spent a lot of time in South Africa too.

Did you enjoy that? Loved it. Absolutely stunning place. Beautiful country. Awesome people. Probably would have stayed, to be honest, if things were circumstances a bit different in terms of the coaching and the opportunities over there.

But unfortunately not. Is that the hard thing being a coach, you know, when getting into coaching, that you do have to move around a lot? It must be hard to settle, right? Because you've been with the hard thing being a coach, you know, on getting into coaching that you just, you do have to move around a lot. It must be hard to settle, right? Because one, you know, you've been with the Hurricanes, you've been in Japan, you've been back here.

Yeah, it is tough. And especially when you're not doing it with your family, you know, and I suppose the last five years have been difficult because I did three years in Japan without the family. Once I come back from there, I did two years with the Hurricanes, also without the family. So I was commuting back and forth, you know,

and when you've got a couple of young kids as well and you sort of look back on time in five years of not sort of being there, being around and watching them grow up is quite difficult. But then you're kind of doing that stuff to support the family as well. You know, you don't want to take these jobs to give them, you know. Exactly. But it is tough. But, you know, now I've got an opportunity to spend a bit of time at home, you know,

so who knows what the future holds in terms of the rugby career. But we'll see how the show goes and maybe I've got a career building. Or TV, who knows? That's great. It looks like you haven't checked out of the gym either. You look amazing. I have. I checked out of the gym ages ago.

I'm just lucky, mate. Genetics. I mean, if you want to make yourself feel better, you can just look at me. Feeling all right, mate. Carlos Spencer, lovely to meet you. Face to face, my friend. Good luck with the show.

If people want to nominate deserving people in the community, you can just head to tvnz.co.nz slash Renault. And yeah, it's Carlos Renault Rescue. That's the one. Yeah, that's the hard one to say. Sorry for making it too hard. No, it's not that hard. Made things the one? Yeah, it's the one to say. Sorry for making it too hard. No, it's not that hard. My thing's weird again, haven't I, guys?

Hey, you've got toothpaste on the side of your mouth. It's Jono and Ben on my hips. Now, we're about to do a bit of an experiment in the studio. This comes from something that we were gifted last week. Yeah, Razine, the wonderful people at Razine, we did a competition on air for them, the Pops of Colour campaign, which will live on in my heart forever.

That was fun. And they sent us a lovely painting full of M&Ms. Clean paint, kid. Yeah, not M&Ms in karaka grey or anything, or karaka green. No, no, it's just probably a thousand in there. Wouldn't you imagine in that painting? Yeah, there's a lot of M&Ms in that.

And can I just point out, thank you, Producer Juliet, for that lovely insertion of the in that painting? Yeah, there's a lot of M&M's in that. And can I just point out, thank you, producer Juliette, for that lovely insertion of the M&M in the... Yeah, wonderful. When I said we had M&M, you didn't think we actually had Marshall Mathers. I was a bit disappointed. I thought we had actual M&M.

Lots of M&M's in this painting. But as we were trying some last week, we were like, as we were trying some last week, we were like, they all taste the same. Yeah, it's a remarkable magic trick almost, isn't it? Of looking completely different but have consistently same flavour. Well, that's what we thought until Millennial Max came in riding his kale vaping and eating some avocados

and said they definitely taste different. So you reckon you can tell the colour of an M&M by the taste? 100%. I've always taken it for granted that the colours were just there for aesthetics or rock stars who wanted certain colours removed from their backstage jars. I've always thought they've tasted the same, Juliet. Your palate, what's it saying? I think they taste all the same.

Yeah, I think it's like the marshmallows. Some people think that the pink and the white marshmallows taste different. That's just the same to me as well. No, they're definitely different. Really? I thought too much about it until we had this conversation, to be honest, but I'm here for the fun of this.

Now we're dedicating three minutes of the radio show to it. Apparently, rainbow ice cream is just vanilla ice cream with that really, that really stuffy. Oh, really? Just like coloured vanilla ice cream? Really?

Okay. Oh, so there's no, you've got Neapolitan in it. That's what I thought. Oh. Oh, so there's no, but you've got Neapolitan in it. That's what I thought. Oh. No, that's a competition. Let's not rattle this M&M paid can too much. Let's just get Millennial Max to try them.

So you can't rattle the can just to prove that we do have a thousand M&Ms. There we go. Now what we're going to do is we're going to blindfold Millennial Max with one of our, sorry, I've got bash rash masks that we did thanks to kindface.co.nz.

It looks like you're Wearing underpants On your head I was like Why is he doing that You pull that over your eyes This is a blind taste test And maybe you'd like To get involved

0800 the hits 4487 Do you think M&M's Taste the same or different Now Millennial Max Has picked up one Show it to the camera Show it to us

You can lick it You can taste it You can start the music too Okay Here we go One shot One opportunity To tell us What flavour the M&M is. Hopefully his palms don't get too sweaty or else the colour will leak on his hands.

Okay, what colour is that? He's put it in his mouth. He's chewing. He's sniffed it. He's licked it. Oh, he's thinking about it a long time. What do you think, Max? Come on, Gordon Ramsay.

I think that's a blue one. That was green. That was green. Next one. Next one. He was quite confident minutes before this. Almost cocky. He came into it cocky.

Okay, here we go. Show us, show us, show us. Okay. And have a sniff. Have a lick. Put that in the mouth. That's disturbing. What colour?

Orange. No, that's green again. You picked up two green ones. That's why I laughed. Right, one more. This is M&M's Taste Testing with Millennial Max. Okay, yes, we've seen the M&M. He's showed it to us.

So far, none from two. It's quite weird. The first seven bits when he just licks it. What colour, Max? Red. No, it's orange. Okay. It's none from three. He was so confident. So confident. They tasted different as well.

So, but did you feel they still had different flavours? I thought they did, but actually, it all tasted the same. Oh, the M&M taste, yes. New Zealand's breakfast. Just don't eat them. They're chewy. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Kia ora, I'm Ash Thomas, and this this. New Zealand's breakfast. Just don't eat them. They're chewy. It's John Owen Battle the Heads. Kia ora.

I'm Ash Thomas, and this is the B***ing News. Yes. Juliet Rothwell, our producer, proudly presents the most unnecessarily complicated news headlines on radio. This is the news in beeps. How does it work, Ju? Here we go. So I hunt out some news headlines, some quirky news stories that I think you guys might find

interesting. Beep out a word word and then you guys guess what the headline is. We're not very good at guessing, are we? Let's be honest. You've won it a few times. The story's always really interesting though, I find. Yeah, you do well to find these unique stories.

I go hunting. If anything, it's a very convoluted platform for delivering some quirky news. Alright, the first news headline. Californian pastors turn their churches into and attempts to remain open during lockdown. I'm going to go with dad joke. The pastors turn their churches into fettuccine.

Lovely pastor. It's one of the great ones, isn't it? That's so good. Is that the sort of pastors you're talking about? Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. I'm going to say they turn them into sort of pastors you're talking about? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All that reverence. Yeah, for sure. I'm going to say they turned them into Holy Polly pole dancing clubs called Holy Polly. That's quite a good name.

Well, you got the right train of thought, Jono. Californian pastors turn their churches into temporary strip clubs in attempts to remain open during lockdown. Oh, the right train of thought. It was the exact train of... Chugga-chugga-choo-choo. You were on the right train. You were, yeah.

Yeah, true. I was were on the right train. You were, yeah. Yeah, true. I was the conductor of that train. So basically in California, I think they had allowed strip clubs to stay open, but churches not. And so in a protest, they were like, well, this is ridiculous. So the pastors would come on stage,

do a little clean version of a strip, but then they'd just take off their tie. And then all the people would hold up $1 bills. And put them in the communion, sort of. Great play. And then they'd get on with their service, which is a pretty smart play from them, I'd say. They might be like, boo, give me more,

pastor. I know. Give me some fettuccine. That's amazing. So that was then justified as a strip club if he came out. Yeah, I think so. It was more sort of in protest. And then I think, I assume they kind of relaxed those rules a bit. You wonder what goes on in those little confession booths,

you know, the little private one-on-one booths. It's a whole other thing. No touching, no touching. But then that's, I guess, the difference between a strip club and a church is going to be relatively packed, isn't it? Yeah. Congested, whereas a strip club is just, you know, half a dozen lonely men drinking. Yeah.

Thinking that the strip is in love with them. Yeah, exactly. So it's probably a bit more socially distanced. Yeah, that is actually a good point. Next news headline. Contestant on 2019 episode of Project Runway gains attention for... Getting a design career out of it. Is that what happened?

They got a career out of the show? You find that with reality TV. Now, I love reality TV but a lot of them, the biggest thing ever and then they don't...

They disappear, don't they? There's only a few from, say, American Idol that have gone on like Kelly Clarkson and people like that but have gone on

to actually be hugely successful. What happened to Ruben Studdard? He was amazing too. Clay Aiken? Yeah, there's so many. He had a pretty good career for a while there too, yeah.

Yeah. I'm going to go contestant on 2019 episode of Project Runway gains attention for confusing the program for a pilot's training school. Okay. Turned up. When do we fly a 747? Contestant on 2019 episode of Project

Runway gains attention for predicting COVID-19. What? Now it's like move over Simpsons because the Simpsons usually is known for predicting. So this contestant was named COVID but with a K and he designed a face mask to go along with his outfit. So they're like oh

COVID present your outfit and it's a person walking down with a face mask down the runway with his outfit. So they're like, oh, COVID present your outfit. And it's a person walking down with a face mask down the runway and everyone's like, oh, oh, oh. They predicted it, but I mean, you know, it's just a coincidence, I reckon. Wow. Quite interesting. You wouldn't be naming babies COVID now, would you? Nah, it's kind of had a bit of brand

damage, COVID, over the last 12 months. Also, like, Corona as well. Do you want a Corona? I'm like, no. Yeah, because, I mean, ISIS was, like, an actual name for many babies. But then, you know, ISIS. Again, more marketing issues with ISIS, too. International. We're doing bad things for Jono and Ben, aren't we?

Jono and Ben's around the world, as well. There's a poor person called Jono and Ben in Spain who's really suffering right now. No, thank you for just getting that. No worries. No worries. Morning. It's Jono and Ben in Spain who's really suffering right now. Oh, no. Thank you for just getting out of the spot. No worries. Morning. It's Jono and Ben on the Heads. My son Oscar, he's 10, but gee, I tell you what, he's got the Christmas bug.

He's caught that. He's got that from my mother, Annie Pryor. She's passed that through her DNA to him. He's just Christmas crazy. And his whole room is like, it's almost like a grotto. Oh, so he's got it all in the room as well. Oh, tinsel for Africa. I don't even know if they've got tinsel in Africa.

There's a lot of it. Maybe they need some because they can take some of his tinsel. But he also loves Christmas movies too. So he's doing a different Christmas movie a day. That Christmas Chronicles one. Oh, yeah, I watched one and two over the weekend. Yeah, Kurt Russell, Goldie... Bloody... Julian Denison's in it.

Julian Denison's in it. Yeah, he's like a baddie. He's really good, yeah, it's great. Yeah, really good movie on Netflix, yeah. But this is where I'm leading to, okay? So that's on Netflix. Then he wants to watch another Christmas movie, which is on Apple TV.

And then there's another one, which he wants to watch on Disney+. Which is on Apple TV And then there's another one Which he wants to watch on Disney Plus And so there's now You know A dozen streaming services There's a lot of platforms right So many platforms What's the one

Your trick is just sign up for the free week trial Isn't it And then binge And then try and binge the series That you want to watch before seven days But the problem is I forget that I've signed up to the trial Because then it ticks on

And then you're like Oh does it just automatically tick over Yeah if you don't cancel before the week Or seven days. But the problem is I forget that I've signed up to the trial. Because then it ticks on to a month. And then you're like, ah. Oh, does it just automatically tick over? Yeah, if you don't cancel before the week. Oh, so you have to put your credit card in for a free trial. But you don't have to pay anything. Unless you cancel within seven days. It's just sitting here.

But then I forget. And then I'm like, I always get the one month. So in the end, I might as well just sign up for one month. But this is what got me thinking. There's probably, you know, let's list them off. You've got Disney, Apple, Netflix, Amazon Prime. Neon. ESPN.

Neon. Hulu. Spark Sport. Yeah. So many of them. And then if you want to watch, like, basketball, you have to pay for the ESPN, you know, the leg pass, all that sort of stuff. So this was what got me thinking.

Remember Sky? Remember that? That was a thing. That's still a thing. That's still a thing. That's still a thing. Sky TV. Yeah. Sky TV.

For years, it was a New Zealand status symbol to have that round silver dish on your roof. Oh, yeah. Oh, they've got Sky. When it first came out, Tina's got Sky. And then if you're one of the first people to have my Sky, you're like, oh, I can record.

I can rewind. Rewind. So good. So good. But, you know, we spent years moaning about how much they were charging us. But you add that up. Everything was on Sky. You had sport, movies, news, you name it.

It was all on their 120 channels. Pornography. They had pornography. It was very, so I've heard it was very. Three channels, pornography. They had pornography. Well, after 12 at night, it was very, so I've heard, it was very. Three channels of pornography. Oh, yeah, but you pay extra for that. You know, they had it all. It was a one-stop shop.

And now we've got to have, you're probably paying three times the amount of what you're paying in Sky. That's if you want to watch, you know, kids' stuff, movies, sports. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? Especially with the sport. You have to, you know, there's multiple platforms in the market. And potentially things are cheaper.

Like if you just wanted to watch cricket, you just get Spark Sport. But then the cricketers play overseas. You go, well, now I've got to get Sky. Sky as well. But only the New Zealand games are on Spark Sport. Yeah. But what about the games in the South Island? Oh, they're on a whole other streaming service.

It's very confusing. So I just wanted to apologise for Sky. All the years of hate that I gave them, just moaning about how much they were charging. That lonely day when I

went and dropped the decoder off and I was standing in a line of 50 people and we're all just holding decoders to drop back. I want to apologise for Sky.

We had a good thing going on. Yeah. Maybe it's not too late. No, it's too late. It's definitely too late. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime.

Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Scrolling through your feed. If you're just waking up with those crustaceans on the side of your mouth, about to pick up your phone and see what's happened overnight, don't worry, because we'll do it for you. I'll even scratch and scrape you while Ben Boyce updates you with the news from the last 24 hours. It's been an unusual year 2020 to say

the least but Chris Hipkins well he's now the Minister for Party Planning in a sketch. I thought he was the Minister of Health and COVID Responses. COVID Responses and now Party Planning. Now he's done quite a funny sketch for News Hub.

It popped up on Saturday morning and now was online and it involved Chris Hipkins doing like a briefing, like a 1pm briefing and talking about Christmas party season. I can confirm that there has been a second case of sparkling wine that has been opened and we are working on it.

We're contact tracing everybody who had contact with the first case. We're calling this the Bernardino Spermante Cluster. Why is he doing this? I'm surprised he's doing it, though, in a way. I love the hippo. Cute little adorable hippo. He wasn't that keen of you. Us calling him the hippo.

The hipster. We landed on the hipster. He was better with the hipster. The hippo, he felt like you were fat shabbing him. And you weren't. No. It was just to do with his name. He kind of left that interview a bit deflated, didn't he?

But we were like, no, it's definitely not to do with your body. It's your surname, Hipkins. And he was still like, I've been eating a lot of pies. So it was kind of, yeah. It felt like you touched a sore spot for him. But he went on in this fake news conference to say this. Today I'm also unveiling that the Christmas party alert level system will be put in place.

There are four stages and we are currently at alert level fun. I love alert level fun. There's a maximum of alert level floor. Alert level fun to alert level floor. Yeah. And we've got the Winston Peters dig as well. So Winston

Peters, poor old Winnie. He's just out of Parliament. He's ousted and Hipkins, he sort of nails him with this as well. As Winston Peters is no longer attending, we're expecting the bar tab to last the full hour. I'm now happy to take your question. How do we know when we should go home? Well, it's a little bit like alert level floor, but with KFC.

Thank you. Yes, like Chris Hipkins. Hey, Winnie, you got a drinking problem. I'm going. Thank you. Yes, Chris, it gets eager. Hey, Winnie, you've got a drinking problem. I'm going to mock you. And to do with COVID-related news, it's been a strange year, as I said before. And we've had to stay home a lot during it with lockdowns. And Kiwis have spent, not surprising, a lot of food.

Ice cream sales up 11% this year. 11% for ice cream. Chocolate up 5%. Disinfectants up 24 percent, which would make sense, right? No, this is Ben's annual product update. Okay, beer, 14.5 percent up, wine 8 percent up, and cider

23 percent up on cider sales this year. And there's your supermarket sales update for 2020. The numbers are looking pretty good, guys. It's been a good year. Was it what was forecast? No, it wasn't what was forecast.

We've done better than expected. Great, we'll see how 2021 goes as well. What was one item you went crazy on? Cherry Blossom hand sanitizer for you. I was probably going crazy on that before. Japanese cherry. That little cherry blossom over there. I didn't really buy up on toilet paper or anything. Everyone went crazy on toilet paper. Yeah, did you panic buy toilet paper, Ju? Nah, I didn't really buy up on toilet paper or anything.

Everyone went crazy on toilet paper. Yeah, did you panic buy toilet paper, Ju? Nah, I didn't want to feed into it. I was tempted to be like, well, I don't want to panic buy,

but I don't want to run out because there's going to be none. Yeah, but that was the problem, mate. More panic buying causes more panic buying. It does. And yeah, I think everyone probably felt like,

ooh, do I need to stock up? Yeah. No, I refused, so I went the other way. I haven't wiped myself for five months. Okay? Just out of protest. I haven't wiped myself for five months. Okay. Just out of protest.

That is scrolling through your feed this morning. Swept up in the madness. More painful than your alarm clock. It's Jono and Ben on the hats. The A to Z of New Zealand. We are calling every town and city in New Zealand. We call one a day. We're slowly making our way all the way around New Zealand.

We've been doing this for the past nine months and we've got still like a year and a half to go. Yeah, it's been fun, though. It really has been fun, because you realise how much of New Zealand you don't know about. There's so many places in this country for a tiny little country at the end of the world. Today we're heading to Kakanui.

It lies on the coast, 14km south of Wamaru, with a three-star motel rating, averaging at about $139 per night if you're interested in staying in Kakanui. 18km south of Whamaru with a three-star motel rating, averaging at about $139 per night if you're interested in staying in Kakanui. It also features the most fertile soil in New Zealand, did you realise? And it's not just the soil that's fertile, it's also New Zealand's top three towns to fall preggers in. Really?

Yes, sitting right beside the beach, Kakanui is no stranger to the hectodolphin, which loves to frolic seaside. So whether you want to frolic with the sea life or frolic with a loved one and have a busy uterus for nine months, Kākāneui is the place for you. And we're heading through to the general store. Good morning, Kākāneui store, Raymond speaking.

Oh, Kākāneui store, Raymond speaking. Oh, Kakanui Store, Raymond speaking. Jono and Ben speaking here from the Hits. How are you? Good, thank you very much. Lovely to hear your voice on the phone this morning, Raymond. Aha, yeah, and you too. Yeah, how's Kakanui this morning? It's always great.

Yeah, what's there? What's there today? Great beaches, great river, great fishing club, great everything. Great people. It's all great. Yeah, because we like to ring every town and city in New Zealand. We call it one a day. And today, it's your town's turn.

Oh, very nice. We like to learn about each place. So it sounds like it's a great place to be. Yeah, nice surfing beaches. Got whitebait in the river. Yeah, it's good blue cod. You've just described. Nice wee school. Paradise. Yeah, lovely coastal town. Now, You've just described. Nice wee school.

Paradise. Yeah, lovely coastal town. Now, you're not far from Waumaru. Yeah. Not far from there. And your store, what are we packing there, Raymond? What have we got? We've got a bit of everything here.

We've got the local post centre. We've got a bottle store. We've got the dairy, takeaways. This is all in one stop, one location. It is indeed. Gee, so you're the post worker, the takeaway operator, the supermarket checkout operator. That's the one.

And the alcohol distributor. Yeah, absolutely. Do you have to put on different uniforms, different hats, or just keep the same clothing? Oh, we just mix it up. So can we do a little bit of role play here? If we phone up, I'll be like, hi, can you just transfer me through to the post office? Yes, excuse me in a minute.

Hello, Kekanui Post Office, can I help you? Oh, sorry, I've got the wrong number. Can I just be transferred through to the supermarket, thank you. Excuse me, man. It's all good. I love your commitment to this. It's really good. So what's the plans for the rest of the day for you guys? Well, we're just doing some fresh food at the moment for the sandwich cabinet. What's your signature sandwich, Raymond? The egg.

Oh, the bacon egg. Yeah. That's always a good one. The egg sandwich, man. It goes out real good. Yeah. Well, I sound very busy. I really appreciate your commitment to not only this chat but also the role play

that was great just quickly before we go can we talk to the alcohol shop yep I'll go and get the alcohol lady where's the alcohol lady excuse me where's the alcohol lady here we go hello

so that's the one thing Raymond doesn't do. Or he's doing a very good impersonation of a female here. How are you? I'm good. How are you? Oh, Raymond. Bloody good.

You look after yourself. Keep safe. You too. See you. Have a good day. See you. Not a morning person. Sadly, neither of these two.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Bye. Thanks to Sharesies, New Zealand's fastest growing share platform. Shares made easy. Now proudly present the premier entertainment reporter in the room at the moment. Here comes Juliet with Spy. Thank you. So, Machu Walters, the lead singer of 660, is engaged to his long-time girlfriend, Karen Freeman. And sort of this rumour started at the Aotearoa Music Awards.

On the red carpet, she was seen wearing a ring on that finger. And so people sort of had some suspicions. And then recently she posted a celebration photo onto her Instagram and everyone was commenting, congratulations, kind of suspecting on the engagement, but her account is private so you can't actually go and see. You've gone deep.

I've gone deep. And there was an account, it was private. And then he said to her, and then she was like, yeah, I do. And then they were like, okay. And then I went outside the house in the bushes and then I... Last night they had roast beef for dinner. They didn't talk about the wedding because anyway

they watched a lot actually yeah so I've gone really deep guys oh congratulations but they haven't come out and said anything to any media

or anything but we think it's official guys but Julie it's the amount of watching I've done on them I can definitely say it

do you know what I found really cool I was telling you this the other day about the movie 660 movie but Machi obviously front man for 660

you know like he's performed in front of 50,000 people but he was very shy as a kid and he wouldn't perform in front of anyone outside his family

he was so shy and he was an amazing voice and his family members through encouragement and through doing it now he's you know one of the biggest singers in New Zealand

and it's pretty cool that you know even if you're a shy kid you can actually develop into something like that oh that's beautiful that's beautiful really cool message for kids yeah and it's pretty cool that even if you're a shy kid, you can actually develop into something like that. Oh, that's beautiful. That's really cool. Really cool message for kids.

Yeah, and I remember Ed Sheeran a while ago said that he was an absolute shocking singer when he was a kid, like actually terrible and then he just trained himself and I think maybe it was Graham Norton or someone found some old tapes and played it and he was really, really bad, like really bad. I always wonder that.

Can you teach the worst singer in the world to actually sing? Like, is it a skill you can teach yourself or do you have to have some natural ability? Some natural ability, right? Yeah. I don't know, that just reminded me of that. Anyway, I feel very sorry for the band

who has to play at Machu's wedding. The wedding band. They'll be nervous. The pressure, the pressure. Who wants to hear the Grease Megamix? to play at Machu's wedding. The wedding band. They'll be nervous. Oh, okay. The pressure. The pressure. Who wants to hear the Grease Megamix? Oh, Grease London.

And Sarah Jessica Parker is apparently to blame for a kangaroo attack in Melbourne. So this Australian runner, she was going out on her daily jog and saw this kangaroo from the corner of her eye kind of stalking her, following her, and then it eventually attacked her. She kept on sprinting away from this kangaroo, right? Made it into a house, a stranger's house, was there for 15 minutes or so, came outside, the kangaroo was still waiting for her,

and then the local ranger... Almost like you outside Mark's house. Oh yeah, tell more about your engagement. And then the local ranger... Almost like you outside Mark's house. Oh, yeah. Tell me more about your engagement. But a local ranger suspects that it was attracted to the Sarah Jessica Parker perfume that the runner was wearing. And it was just loving the smell, so it came and followed this runner.

Trying to get in the pouch. So that's some shocking marketing for perfume, isn't it? It'll have kangaroos, kangaroos. Just don't wear it in Australia or at the zoo. Yeah. Isn't that scary though? You'd be like, oh, I'm throwing that perfume out. Thanks, Sarah Jessica Parker.

Very specific aroma. Hey, it's always good to just have someone chasing you, whether it's a kangaroo or a human. No one's chased me for a long time, so I'll spray it all over me. Exactly. Just for a bit of attention. And that's spy for more.

You can go to the hits.co.nz. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. A feeling good. Why is today going to be a good day? I'd love to hear from you on 0800 THE HITS. Just give us a call when we get the day started with some positivity.

It's a Monday. We need the positivity, Zay. And the Mondays are easier to handle, aren't they? The closer to Christmas. Yeah, everyone's on a sort of countdown to how many days they've got left in the year. Not too many, you know. You always like doing a stressful countdown

for everyone, don't you? Oh, I told you how many days to Christmas and you told me not to because it was stressing everyone out. There is a lot of things you need to kind of do before Christmas. So the market research was telling us you were stressing people out.

Let's go to Invercargill. Vicky, how's Southland this morning? Is it alright there, Vicks? Morning, team. It's stunning. It's going to be a hot one. Lovely.

And it's going to be a good one for you, apparently. Why is that, Vicky? One more day of making school bloody lunches. Oh, one more day. One day and seven weeks off.

Yay. Yeah, and then they can bring home the lunch and that can rot and fester in their bags over eight weeks and you can deal with that next year. Imagine the banana boy then, no thanks. I'll just try it out.

Now, do you find with the lunches, they sort of come back a mushy mess of half-eaten things, don't they? One does. One eats everything and the other one just leaves it in their feet. Yeah. And sometimes they end up with items I haven't even put in the lunchbox. Some sort of illegal trading program going on.

Listen, Vicky, you enjoy not having to make lunches for a couple of months. You too, and have a good Christmas, guys. Thank you, Vicky. Hold the line, we'll send you out something, alright? Cheers, mate. Let's go to Jodie in Clarks Beach. It's going to be a good one for you, Jodes. It's going to be a great day because my son's in a full-arm cast

and he's mastered wiping his own bum with his left hand so I can send him back to school. How many days of training did that take, though? He did it on Wednesday, so I think today's day five. Yeah, right. So you did a couple of hard days there for a bit there, Jodie. Yeah. The things the parents say, they don't tell you that in parents' skill,

because there is no parents' skill. But, Jodie, we're going to send you out something. You have a great day, all right? Thanks, guys. Well, guys, we'll catch you tomorrow from 6. Have a great Monday. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from 6 on The Hits

and via the iHeartRadio app. Jono and Ben on The Hits Breakfast. Friends of Skinny. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh.