Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - December 08 - Big News Small Town, Santa's Naughty Or Nice List, Who Has The Best Neighbour?

Episode Date: December 7, 2020

If you've ever wondered what it would be like to date an international conman, well we talked to a lady who did just that. How did she find out? Did she see any warning signs? Did he try to con her? We asked her all those questions and it was super interesting to hear about it. We also got told by someone yesterday we were finally on an "age-appropriate" radio station. And yes, we have been on different stations in the past. But is that a compliment or an insult that we're finally on an age-appropriate station? We discussed this! Finally, we decided whether we were on the naughty or the nice list this year, and it might surprise you.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Jeez, I've never noticed how good the guy on Ellen is at dancing. Her DJ.

Oh, he's very good, mate. He's a very good dancer. Yeah. Isn't he? Welcome to the podcast. We're just watching with Alan's on with the sound off. When we do

these podcast intros, Alan DeGeneres' show starts on TV, but she's doing something quite interesting with the audience where she's spaced them all out obviously, socially distanced, but got big screens in between each audience member with other audience members on the podcast. I guess they're watching from home, right? Yeah yeah good on her good on but gee that guy can dance i can't dance

like that i know it's very good one thing i always wish i could do was dance yeah i'm in a nightclub i'm a nightmare aren't you oh yeah stay away from the dance oh okay normally but then you drag up there it's fine it's fine it's safe for your numbers, you know, if you're a whole lot of people, and it's fun, but I just don't like when the attention's on you. Like, I'm not a dancer on show. I'm a dancer like, hey, we're going to be part of this. Yeah, mass.

That's fine. I'm happy to do it. I'm happy to dance at concerts and things like that. You're like the antelope running through the African wilderness. You don't want to be left behind or else you're going to get mauled. Yeah, exactly.

Hide in the pack. Yeah. Hide in the pack. But yeah, nothing frightens an uncoordinated middle-aged white man more than a dance circle for me. Oh, yeah, it's the worst. Yeah, it's one of our worst nightmares. Go, Ben.

Go, Ben. No, no, no. Please don't, no. Ben doesn't go. He's going to buy a drink or something. Yeah, no. Fun show this morning. It was good.

Good for a Tuesday. Juliet, you're here clearing emails. What's going to buy a drink or something. Fun show this morning. It was good. Good for a Tuesday. Juliette, you're here clearing emails. What's going on, mate? Oh, you know, just sorting some stuff for tomorrow's show. Doing the work. Doing the mahi, getting the treats. This makes the show sound very organised and professional. So really, we just come in and we make it up.

But on the programme this morning, we spoke to a lady who went on a date with an international con artist. That's a fascinating story. Yeah. But he did the opposite of con her. Well, yeah, I feel like it was a long play, but obviously didn't get to that part, which was... Oh, do you think he was laying the foundations for champagne conning? Yeah, I think so.

I think that was part of it, because obviously he was on the process of conning, and going, oh, hey, look at all these things. It's all too good to be true. And obviously it was, and she got out of there quite early. Oh, lured in with a false sense. Okay. Yeah, that's what I think.

But anyway, you can decide for yourself on the podcast. Isn't it? It's all the con artists when you think about it. Must be, what are you mouthing to Max here, man?

There's thumbs up going on. There's a secret code happening here. What's happening? Max is doing a coffee run, but it's not. Max, that's lovely. Oh, listen, I'll go have coffee run, but it's not. Oh, Max, that's lovely. Oh, listen, I'll go have coffee, mate. Oh, it's okay.

I've already given Ben my card. This is why I'm like, thumbs up. It's all good. Oh, it's all good. We don't need to have this conversation on the podcast. I've given Ben Humphrey. He's got my card. He's buying coffee.

Coffee's a fine. Yeah, so I was like that. No, I was thinking about con artists. Thank you, Max. Con artists must be hyper-intelligent, you know, to read social settings manipulate people that would take another level of intelligence to pull off you know well you average Joe Schmo

like yourself and me I couldn't do it wouldn't know where to start but you'd have to know what sort of person you'd want to zero in on their personality traits how to best manipulate them I mean how do you go from meeting someone to all of a sudden fleecing their entire bank account? Yeah, true.

It takes skill. Well, your skill, yeah, and also a lot of interesting things you have to block out, you know, all the conscious feeling guilty about stuff. You can't have any morals. No, no morals. Leave those at the door. That takes skill to ignore your morals and your guilt. So that is all the podcast today.

Enjoy that. The radio version of Morning Breath. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, we're just talking about scams. A lot of people getting scammed. And Jordan, who's on the phone right now on 0800 The Hits, got scammed by an international con artist. You got involved with this one, Jordan.

Well, yes. It's probably one of the craziest dating stories. So this was from a date, was it? Yeah, well, good old Tinder. Met somebody on Tinder, chatted for a bit. He was Irish, you know, the charm of the Irish. They do have a good swagger about them, don't they, the Irish? I put it on the potatoes.

A lot of starch in their diet. Gives them some automatic swagger. Yeah, yeah. Definitely called me in. Met him, well, we organised to meet him. Met him at a hotel in Wellington. He'd pre-booked, like, two massive rooms. He said that I can stay there for the night and blah, blah, blah.

Oh, so you had your own room, basically? I had my own room. So I met him there, and I thought it was quite fancy for a first date. He went to take me out, and there was a jeweler's shop outside where the hotel was. And we went through, and he was trying to buy me a bracelet. And I was feeling really uncomfortable. This was like a couple of grand on a bracelet. Oh, wow.

Let me just meet you. So this is, how many hours have you known this man? Well, we've probably been chatting on Tinder for about a month or so. But this is the first time I've known him for about three hours. And he's already whipping out a $2,000 bracelet. Uh-huh, yep. So you're like, this is almost too good to be true. I know, it does.

But I didn't take the bracelet. I was like, no, and I left the shop in the end. You're a better person than I am. I should have. I totally should have. No. We went out for dinner. He wrote down about $800 or $900 on dinner with champagne,

and my sister ended up coming to meet us. He paid for all of her dinner. All of that. Wow. Yeah. And so that was a really, really nice evening. And then we kind of, well, I stayed in my own room and we left. And we kept chatting for a bit.

And then all of a sudden he just disappeared. Like I couldn't contact him, anything like that. And I ended up getting a message from a person that he knew. And they had been friends. Telling me that he was a con man. And he had done a big job in Sweden and was wanted all over the UK and Sweden and New Zealand and, yeah. So hold on.

The friend, how did the friend know that you had been with him? They'd been chatting that we're supposedly his best friends and that we ended up, like, FaceTiming when we were out having a few drinks that night, so he'd seen who I was. Ah. And so obviously he didn't rip you off. No, he didn't rip me off.

They found him because he ripped off another hotel, and I don't even know if our hotel was paid for by legitimate money. Because as I say, you're spending quite a lot of money for a con artist. Surely he's meant to be taking it off you. He's potentially buying jewellery, spending quite a lot on dinners. That's a lot, you know?

He wasn't conning me, but he'd con somebody else to do that. So you got almost the good parts of that. Yeah. And got out at the right time. Yeah, definitely.

He wasn't even using his real name, so I don't actually even using his real name, so I don't actually know what his real name is. Was he a charmer? Well, yeah, he was Irish. Come on. Yeah, that's the thing,

Maybe he wasn't even Irish. Maybe he was putting on an accent. You don't know. He might not have been. I have no idea. I bet you'd question everything after that.

I did. I can't trust anybody. So he's just an international criminal on the run. Yeah. Well, it sounds like it. And it sounds like, well, I haven't trust anybody. So he's just an international criminal on the run. Yeah, well, it sounds like it. And it sounds like, well, I haven't heard from him since, that I would say he was picked up. What was his crime?

How did he get all the money in the first place? Sorry? Well, as far as I know, he ripped off a multimillion-dollar job in Sweden. And so the friend who phoned you or got in touch with you, what was that out of? Was that out of concern for you or just a bit of an update? Hey, just so you know, you dated an international con man.

Yeah, I think it was just a little bit of an update. He seemed like a good guy. Well, I think he was shocked as well because he'd been living with someone, his partner, and it's been like the last six months with them, like, as friends, and then all of a sudden disappeared. That's his thing. Ghosts, everyone. Geez, wouldn't it be fun to be an international person of mystery? Would you have dated him? Would you have dated him?

Knowing that he's a con man, would you have dated him? No, I don't think so. I wouldn't have dated further than that. Yeah, no, you should put that on his Tinder profile. Yeah. International con man. You're like, oh, he sounds interesting. I might have pulled in a few women. I'm intrigued.

Imagine if you front-footed that. You're like, let's be honest. International con man. Yeah, you know what you're getting into. There's only a few countries I can go to. New Zealand's one of them. If I disappear, it's only because I've been arrested. How did you feel? Did you feel cheated?

No, I didn't really feel cheated. I just thought it was really hilarious. And kind of funny that you can talk to somebody and feel like you know them and everything be a complete lie. That's the world we live in. I know. It gave me a bit of a kick up the butt, you know. Be careful who you talk to on Tinder. Well, now's the time to tell you,

this isn't even a radio show. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's not even a real radio show. Well, not a good one either. No, it's actually, it's true. Yeah, it's not a good one. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, well, it's nice being chatting anyway. Now we'll disappear from your life and you'll never hear from us again. Excellent. Thank you so much for your call, Jordan. Really do appreciate your time and you'll never hear from us again. Excellent. Thank you so much for your call, Jordan. Really do appreciate your time and you go and have a wonderful day. This is your new breakfast.

Health Star rating, still pending. It's Joran Mano-Mahet. Christmas songs, they can be quite divisive, can't they? Some people really... I like it. I like it. It gets me all limbed up, all frothed up for Christmas. Yeah, I feel like some people get annoyed

where maybe November Christmas songs are not quite as popular as the same songs in December. I feel like some people are like, oh, it's too soon for Christmas. But yeah, once in December now, that's all for it. Yeah, what sort of monster doesn't like a Christmas song? Yeah, exactly. We're just doing some company propaganda stuff at the moment.

We were travelling around to potential advertising agencies with management and we're going, hey, come and hang out with us at the moment. We were travelling around to potential advertising agencies with management and were going, hey, come and hang out with us on the show. So anyway, that's boring stuff. You don't need to know that. But anyway, we went to a place yesterday and afterwards someone came up to us and was like, oh, it's good you're now in a more age-appropriate station.

I was like, ooh. But fair. Yeah was like, ooh. But fair. Yeah. But also, ooh. But also, is it a good, like, have we not been age-appropriate up until now? Have we finally grown up? We're fully developed. I'm three-quarters developed, still developing.

Our boss Todd likes to say you've gone from lads to dads. That's his big thing. That's his catchphrase at the moment. So, like, for some reason, like beforehand, I had kids before I came here. So what was I before that? Just a shocking father

who pretended he didn't have kids. Left them at the school gate. Yeah. But I don't know. I thought we were always age appropriate up until last week

when you were like, Jono, you've got to stop wearing nappies. It's a bad look. But I always thought it's a good marketing thing too, isn't it? Jono and Brendan are age appropriate. I don't know if we've got...

Depends what way you take it. Yeah. It's a good thing or a bad thing. What do you think? Oh, gosh. She's like, don't ask me. Let's just say your puns really work on the hits. Because it's just like, you know, dad jokes.

Like, you know, it really fits. Sorry, that's so patronising. I actually remember, because we used to jokes. Like, you know, it really fits. So it's so patronising. I actually remember when we, because we used to work for The Edge before this, I remember we had an Edge party and I was talking to one, it was one of those, it was a camp thing. We were away on camp

and I was talking to one of the listeners and we're sort of talking, there was a few of us, we're brainstorming, you know, the hot, the hot singers, you know. And I was like, oh, you got Harry Styles. Everyone's like, oh, he's hot. And then I'll just be, oh, he's hot.

And we're going through all this stuff. You're like Elvis Presley. I was like Frank Sin got Harry Styles and everyone's like oh he's hot and then I'll just be oh he's hot and we're going through You're like Elvis Presley I was like Frank Sinatra guys am I right am I right and they're like who old man but that's the thing

You need to be on an age appropriate station and then someone was like I was fishing like this conversation was fishing for a compliment which it wasn't

but then one of the girls was like oh you guys are good looking you and Jono I was like yeah for old guys and I was like but it was like, oh, you guys are good looking. You and Jono. I was like, yeah, for old guys. And I was like,

but it was like, well, unnecessarily. The conversation was unnecessary to start off with because it wasn't what it was about. But then it was like, oh, you didn't need to just really ram that home. You're bloody ugly for young guys, though. Exactly. For a guy in a retirement village, you're pretty hot. I'd go there if I was 72.

Some people skip breakfast, the meal, and also this show. It's Jono and Ben on the Hits. We're not far away from Christmas, and it's the time of the year where people are either on the naughty list or on the nice list, right? Yeah, I hear he checks that list twice too. Very thorough, Santa Claus, with that list. Yeah, he does. It's a long list, I can imagine.

So we thought we'd help Santa out this year, and you can nominate yourself, whether you would be on the naughty list this year or on the nice list. So what we want you to do, 0800 THE HITS, is to give us a call right now on New Zealand's Breakfast, 4487, if you want to text us. You just say, hi, my name's Tina.

And then Ben and myself will have to guess whether Tina is going to nominate for the naughty or nice list. And then you can explain afterwards if we're right or wrong and why we're right or wrong. So those are the formatics of the game. I hope we're clear. I hope everyone understands. Juliet, you're aware of what's happening? Yes, I am.

So I'd say I'm Ben. Hi Ben. Okay, I'm going to say you look like a really well-rounded, honest individual. I'm going to say you're putting yourself on the nice list. Well, I'm actually putting myself on the naughty list this year. You're wrong. You're deceiving. Yeah. What other lies have you been feeding me?

Well, that's just something I've just discovered. Now, we've talked about this on the radio a few times about how I brought a frying pan a few years ago for my wife. A few times. As part of a few presents. Anyway. A frying pan is never an appropriate gift for your wife. Yeah, but it was. Anyway, my backstory is it was one of a few gifts.

So there was some jewellery in there. An apron. A vacuum cleaner. And it was a frying pan. I remember she's like, yeah, I want one like this. And so I was like, hey, that's great. You know, it's not often when you're shopping, you're like, oh, great. She wants this.

She wants this. I'll get this as well as some other stuff. Anyway. What I love is that every time he has to tell the story, he has to explain the back. Because you focus on, I get it, on the surface, it sounds shocking. It sounds very sexist and terrible. Oh, it's a non-stick surface.

So it wasn't a shocking surface. Very handy, apparently. It sounds shocking. You get a frying pan. And I thought I'd learned my lesson. I was like, okay, that's not appropriate at any stage, even if you put thought behind, the meaning behind it. It's okay.

Talk that up as a loss in the present game. But then it was through an anniversary again. I bought a couple of presents and one of them, through lockdown, one of the things we would do as a family at night, you know, we'd have a cup of tea and it was like, you know, got into our tea, Amanda and I. So I was like, how about I buy a nice teapot as one of the things. I'll make it short and stout. Yeah.

It was one of the things I'll buy, you know, as, again, not the only present. And then it was the other day. Amanda was somewhere in Bridgend and they were like, oh, the teapot. Yeah, I was like, yeah, anniversary present. That was the way Amanda, I was like, ooh, this is, ooh, ooh, ooh, this is, okay.

Oh, that was a lovely. What were the other presents surrounding the teapot? Well, I can't remember. Tea bags? No, it wasn't nothing tea related. Nothing kitchen. Pacadilma? Yeah, it was actually. pot well i can't remember tea bags no it wasn't nothing tea related nothing and i was like you was actually no no and i was like oh okay so again i've done it so where you trip up is you and you're doing a great thing you're listening you're you're remembering you're observing yeah you're

like oh you mentioned that now i've turned this into a present but it has never once you've never once had a win with it has never once you've never once had a win with it no I know have you I'm better off to get it like a voucher it's almost like

don't listen don't ignore get a voucher you get what you want to get that's the thing so that's why oh and you got me a Bunnings voucher

thanks mate so now I'm on the naughty list I'm putting myself on the naughty list okay hi my name's Jono okay well I'd say

we really reckon Juju. Naughty. No, nice this year. Oh, you reckon. When? Tireless hours of charity work. When?

Philanthropy. When? For the bald community. I'm out here representing, fronting the mockery and abuse every morning from you. Okay, and I'm taking it on, I'm taking it on my big shiny bald head,

taking it on the chin, which is the chin's attached to the bottom of my big shiny head. And that's what I'm doing. That's my charity work this year. Okay, so nice. So that's how it works. You call us, oh, Andrew, the hits. Are you on the naughty list or are you on the nice list?

We'll try and guess. We'll go to Shirley in Cambridge. How are the horses, trees, Lake Kitapera and other local references there, Shirley? They're all right? Are we lost, Shirley? Kendall, welcome from Taranaki. You're on the air. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast.

Hi there. How are you going? Okay, we'll talk to you a little bit before we decide whether you've been naughty or nice. What do you do for a job? I'm a nurse. Naughty. Shocking. You've got to be the nice.

The nurses have done nothing this year. Oh, mate, they've done so much this year. I'm going to put you nice, John. I'm going to say nice as well. What are you? Well, I was nice, but it's my husband's birthday on the 17th of December, and I forgot to get his birthday present, and now it's all sold out until January. Oh, we were wrong.

We were wrong. I thought you were going to be like, I'm an essential worker. Yeah, you are. You are obviously a lovely, you're doing a lot of great work. Well, I was until then. Yeah, you undid all of that great work

you did through 2020 by forgetting a birthday and there's nothing worse, is there, than forgetting a birthday present, forgetting birthdays, anniversaries, because the first thing you try and do is think of it as an excuse.

Why have you forgotten this? So obviously this sold out. What does he want? Some increment weight plates. He's a weightlifter. Some increment weight plates. I may have some spare. Do you?

You might change me back to the good lift. Yeah. All of the incremental weights I lift. We could give me some hell pizza vouchers. The opposite. The round, I guess, like weights. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Oh, good luck. You can bench press some pizza. Thanks so much. Hey, good on you, Kendall. We'll head to Wellington, Moreno. Susan, how's the capital this morning, mate? All right? Doing well?

I keep talking, just hoping someone will talk back. Yeah, sometimes. Oh, there we go. Susan, what are you... Oh, now I'll just figure out. Whereabouts do you live in Wellington? Porirua. Porirua.

Okay, I'm going to go you're on the nice list this year. Ben Boyce? I'll mix things up. I'll go naughty list, just because. All right. What are you on? On the nice list, just cause. All right. What are you on? On the nice list, of course. Oh, of course.

I'm so sorry. How dare you? Do you want me to kick him out of the studio, Susan? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, how dare you talk ill of my friend Susan? Why are you on the nice list, Susan? I help out in the community. I make clothes for the local hospital for the premature babies, and I make knitting, do knitting for the, keep them warm,

and for the mums out there who have, you know, have... Oh, Susan. ...young babies and that, and make clothing. They're like the, you know, husband to, you know, provide for them. And this monster said you're on the naughty list. What an animal. Susan makes blankets for premature babies, and you're like, naughty. I have to keep them warm.

You have to keep the premature babies warm, mate. What are you up to, buddy? What are you keeping warm? That was the thing of the game. All I knew, Susan, in my pencil was your name, and I was just messing it up. I'm sorry, Susan. I'm going to hold the line. We're going to send you out some help.

You're a lovely person. I'm a shocker. Next, we have Stephen Tindall on the phone. Ben, I suppose you want to put him on the naughty list as well. We'll take one more, shall we? Alice, how are you? Good. How are you guys?

Yeah, good. I'm going to say you're on the naughty list. I'm going to say nice list. I'll switch it around. Okay. I hate to say it, Jono, but you are correct. Oh,

what have you done, Alice? Um, I, oh, this is awful. I, um,

my husband just got a new truck and I was reversing it just so I could mow the lawn and I scraped it along one of our brick banister things.

Does he know? Well, yeah. Yeah, he saw it straight away. But the worst part is I blamed it on the kids. That's why you have kids. Just so you've got someone to blame from year zero to five because they don't quite know what's going on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

So I just said he rode his bike past it and, yeah. How old is the child? He's four. Yeah, four. You know, in about four years, your husband's going to go, hey, mate, do you remember riding your bike into the thing? You'll be like, not me. Not me.

And that's when your son realises you threw him under the bus or along the side of the truck, as it turns out. Oh, jeez. We're going to see you guys some hell pizza. Thank you for your call this morning. Have a great Christmas, all right? Thank you, you too. That was the Naughty or Nice list. It'll probably

be back never again. Or maybe next Christmas if we get desperate. Wake up and smell them. Actually, no, please don't smell them. That's odd. It's Jono and Ben on the Hatch. Now, kids, imagine you find this as well. They unintentionally are often the best comedians. They don't often mean to be funny,

but the things they come up with... Oh, they say the darndest things. The TV show that we try to ignore now because of come up with. Oh, they say the darndest things. A TV show that we try to ignore now because of who hosts it. I think there's a rerun. There's a reboot with Tiffany Haddish hosting it in the States at the moment. So we can talk about that. And that's the first time the show's been played anywhere in the world. Yeah.

It's an original format. Kids say the darndest things is an original format. So there's no history with that. No history of that show. Oh, that's cool. Well, I really like it. Yeah. Because they do.

They say some stuff. They do say the darnest things. Because the other day, my daughter, Andy, her grandma was having a birthday. Oh, no. Joyce. Yeah, yeah. I always thought you should have married Joyce.

Why? So she could be called Joyce Boyce. Joyce Boyce. It does work. It's almost worth divorcing Amanda and marrying her mother. Just for that. I'm sure they all understand. It's just so I can call her Joyce Boyce. You know how people talk about marriage of convenience? Well, this is a marriage based out of

a clever last name. Comedians. Comedians. But she was having a birthday and she was like, you know, I'm getting older now and Indy we were all like no you're not she goes oh yeah

I've got wrinkles Indy goes they're not wrinkles they're like stripes like a zebra lots of stripes you're like oh okay

you've got some stripes too Dan I'm like oh thanks very much Indy they don't read the room do they she thought it was a good thing

and in a way that's a nicer way to say it as you get older and as an adult, you learn. You're like, yeah, they look like garbage, but you can never say it out loud. I mean, I'd hate to think what you guys think about me when you see this face walk in every morning. But stripes is a nicer way of saying wrinkles.

You've got some stripes. Stripes, yeah. You've earned your stripes. I think it's a good thing. Well, it depends what doctor you go and see, what surgeon you go and see. You can have less stripes as time goes on. Did you have to explain that to her? Oh, no.

I didn't get quite to the... You can avoid having stripes. It costs a lot of money and your face doesn't end up moving at all. We were flying to Gold Coast once and Oscar was, he's my son, he's, well, I think he is anyway. I've just got to confirm the test. But he was listening to, and this was a shocking

parenting decision. I'll put my hand up. He was watching Dodgeball. You know the movie Dodgeball? Oh yeah, the Dodgeball, yeah. It's a funny film. Ben Stiller. It's one of those movies that I guess, I find this at the moment with the kids,

you're like, it's funny. And then you go, but then what age did I watch it at? You know, because how old the kids are. Yeah, because he started watching Elf with Will Ferrell and I was like, mate, this guy's got some banging movies. I started playing the out like Talladega Nights.

Oh, yeah. So in another one of my shocking decisions, he was watching Dodgeball on the plane, but he's got headphones on, you know. Yeah. He can't hear. And then he just yells out, what's a bisexual? Oh, no. And a plane load of people. Everyone found it quite funny.

And as a group, we all told him. We all educated him. We all listened. We all educated them. Lydia, lovely lady in 23B helped explain everything. Well, that's a good, that's a good sort of

communal approach to parenting, isn't it? Yeah, it's a communal. It takes a village to raise a child. A village of strangers on a plane to Gold Coast. Who wants to take this one?

Do you want to take this one? Thank you. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. It's time to look at some big news. All town, town, town, town.

We're heading to Dunedin, South Island, where a man who tidies up estates has stumbled across an unlikely find, a stack load of lewd literature. And I imagine in his job, you'd be finding hidden gems all the time from people moving into retirement villages or people who have passed on.

Yeah, this is where they, yeah, just what you said, they go in and they clean up for the families and they take care of all the stuff. But you're right, it'd be interesting to see what they uncover. It's like when I found $5 in my jeans on Monday morning. I was like, it's like a present to myself that I never knew about, but he joins us on the phone right now from the big news. Welcome, Andrew Wiley.

How are you? I'm good. What's your gig? What do you do? We have a business called Estated Grace and we clean out estates. So when families are in need and someone dies or moves into a retirement home or that type of thing and just needs that assistance to transition somebody

or clear out, we go in and handle it. Did you say a state of grace? A state of grace, yes. What a beautiful pun. Oh, yeah. Beautiful pun. And you must find some interesting stuff. Yeah, every job is different.

Every job tells a story, a life, and it's a pleasure to look after people's lives and essentially, with dignity, box them up or pass them on to other people. And we work a lot with charities. So on average, House Cleanup, we'll deal for about eight charities and items across. Oh, that's cool. My mum, Jenny, she keeps a lot of stuff. She even brought back boxes.

She was like, that's your stuff now. You need to sort this out. And I was like, no, I don't want it anymore. I'll just go get rid of it. She's like, oh, I can't do that. So she took it back home. She couldn't even get rid of the old stuff. So she's going to be a big cleanup job for you guys,

I'm sure, at some stage. Exactly. That's exactly what we do. Well, do you know she even collects cake crumbs? She's got a tin of cake crumbs. I hope they're catalogued. Slowly over time they'll form a cake. It's a long play.

Maybe by the time you're there you can have a slice of cake crumbs. Anyway, Andrew, you found something really interesting, newsworthy. It's captured, you know, this is made for commercial radio. Champagne find for you in a car boot. What was it? So we were cleaning out some sheds from an old guy and a big trunk and a couple of boxes of Playboys and we worked it out. They were from 1971 through to 84.

Gee whiz, I mean, that's over a decade. 13 years of Playboy magazines. Yeah, it's actually, you know, I've had a lot of commentary. This is more about art culture. It talks about really what has taken place in our society over the last

50 years. And you look at the magazine, especially the 71. Oh, some incredible interviews. Ben Boyce always read them for the articles, didn't you? That's always the thing, and now we're having the conversation about the articles, and I'm pleased that we are. Now, Ben, boys always read them for the articles, didn't you? That's always the thing. And now we're having the conversation about the articles. And I'm pleased that we are. Finally, the conversation is straight.

Because the whole time you're like, this is journalism at its highest. That's what you've always said to me. Yeah. Yeah. Well, no, I haven't said that once. But I feel like I need to agree with that right now. Just with some tasteful shots in between. So what's the plan for all these magazines? Are you guys

going to sell them off for charity or what's the plan? No, well, they're all on Trade Me. We looked and we put it all as a collection. So all the proceeds go back to the estate. And so what we do is we try to maximise return for the estate on any job

we do. Yeah, the auction has sort of gone off, really. We had a lot of views. I think there's like 700 people watching the auction right now and something like about, I don't know, nearly 10,000 people have gone through and it doesn't close till next Sunday. Well, and as I mentioned, there'll be a lot of overseas interest as well,

collectors and the likes of. Ben Boyce, you sort of said, we're going to auction it off for charity. What charity were you thinking would be appropriate for the sale of 13 years with the Playboy magazines? Yeah, true. I mean, do you have any ideas, Andrew? I'm not touching that one. It's probably not the sort of thing you would go, oh, here you go.

For the children's hospital. Yeah. I feel like, yeah, sorry, I don't know why I said charity. In this case, it's not a good thing to give money to charity, all right? But is it every, did it come out monthly, weekly? No, it came out monthly, and the gentlemen would buy them from the dairy each week, each month. And especially the covers and things like that,

I find the early 70s, you know, there was a lot more coming out of the 60s, there was a lot more essentially, I would say, freedoms or openness. And then when you look at, Jimmy Carter came in as president in 76, so maybe the moral compass may have changed a little bit in 1976 onwards with Jimmy Carter. And then again, it changed again in 1980 with Ronald Reagan. Reagan, yeah. And so you sort of look at, you could sort of see that in the design and the magazine and some of the parts of it.

You're going to be like an expert on like Mastermind or something like that when it comes out. And then you'll have to embarrassingly say how you learned it all. You know a disturbing amount about Playboy magazines from circa 71 through to 84. Wikipedia is a brilliant thing. Hey, listen, thank you very much for your time, mate.

Very nice chatting with you, Andrew Wiley, and people can go and check the auction out on Trade Me. Making poor life decisions every morning. It's Jodo and Ben on the hits. Now, Ellen DeGeneres is making headlines again for buying a very, very expensive new house, right, producer Juliet? Yeah, she spent 69 New Zealand million dollars on a brand new mansion in Montecito, which is in California.

But it happens to be right next door to Megan and Harry's mansion. Now, this is champagne to generous, isn't it? And she's probably just bought the house so she can bully Harry over the fence for being a redhead. No. Who are you, Ginger Vitus? Oh, Ellen. You spent $69 million

just so you could say that to me? Better put some sunscreen on. Oh, she's a white... Anyway, anyway, I'm not going to get in there. What were you going to say? What were you going to say? No, no, no. I kind of threw this whole Ellen thing.

I was kind of like, there's a lot... At worst, what has she done? She's not a very nice person at times. Yeah, that feels like that. It's at worst. I know, but that's not fun to think about. What's fun to think about is how evil she is.

You guys like to say that she's a lot more evil than, you know. But, you know, she's also moved in next door to Markle. Yeah. One of the other most evil people in the world. Put Kim Jong-un in there. You've got the most evil neighbourhood. Anyway, evil neighbourhood in the universe. But I think there's a theory

that maybe evil Alan has bought this mention to sort of, you know, maybe wine and dine Megan and Harry, invite them on the show for a tell-all royal. Oh, that'd be a scoop, wouldn't it? Oh my gosh, that would be the best day of my life. That's a bloody expensive scoop. Yeah.

Well, they could have offered the $69 million to them. Yeah. That's the reason for it, right? Yeah. They'd be able to get a house. Very convoluted way

to get an interview. We'll get a house next to them, yeah. Producer Humphrey, are we having to buy any houses to get any interviews on this show, are we? The amount of houses

Producer Humphrey's had to purchase. Unnecessary houses just to get people on the show. Although he had The amount of houses Producer Humphries had to purchase. Unnecessary houses just to get people on the show. Although he had to secretly friend a celebrity on Facebook and they accepted his request and then he came in for the kill.

Yeah. Didn't he? Then he got one. Like sucker. Yeah. There's no morals when you're booking interviews, ladies and gentlemen.

But what a, like in all honesty, what a great neighbourhood. You know? Oh, yeah. Two of the biggest names in the world next to each other. I think it's in like

a little private sort of gated community. A state area, yeah. And then I think Megan and Harry's other neighbours are Orlando Bloom and Katy Perry. Oh, jeez. So not Kim Jong-un. It's just a better class of people. Yeah.

Don't even let me in there. I don't deserve to go in that gated community. No, you don't. No. You just have to think you just said. I wouldn't have you in there. I want to bully Harry with Ellen. No.

Come over for a bully session. But 0800 the hits. We wanted to open this up. Neighbours. Everybody needs good neighbours. Just a little care and understanding. Yeah. That's when sometimes neighbours,

they become good friends. We want to know the best neighbours. Let's get some good stories in there after that slander, that unnecessary slander on the radio. Yeah, have you, do you think you've got New Zealand's best neighbour?

Thanks, Juliet. Well, they've jazzed this up a bit. Yeah. I don't know, it says it's the 2015 version. Oh, yeah, the remix. Yeah, my neighbour's wonderful. Honestly, just keeps providing

baked goods after baked goods. Over the fence, too. Is that? Oh, no. Oh, wait. What? Nothing. Nothing. What? Nothing. I thought you were too. Is that? Oh, no. Oh, wait. What? Nothing. Nothing.

What? Nothing. I thought you were going to say something. No, no, it's fine. It's fine. I've gone in on Alan. You can go in on me. No, it's fine.

It's fine. It's good to hear. Good to hear that. That's going on. That's good. We could talk more about it. That's fine. But, you know, I've got nothing to give back.

I feel like it's just a one-way street. Right. He's constantly. Have they baked it themselves? Yeah. Yeah, no, it's just a one-way street. He's constantly... Have they baked it themselves? Yeah! It's homemade stuff. And I've got no skills, no neighbourly skills

to return anything back. I can go and sit in their lounge and obnoxiously talk at them through a microphone forcing my opinions down their throat. You're like, I heard about Evil Ellen moving into the neighbourhood, guys. That's coming up. You wait there. I'm on the other side of these ads. They're like, can you please get out of our lounge, you strange man?'re like, I heard about Evil Alan moving into the neighbourhood, guys. That's coming up. You wait there. I'm on the other side of these ads.

They're like, can you please get out of our lounge, you strange man? But no, I really enjoy it. It's such a lovely neighbourly thing. Have you got New Zealand's best neighbour? Oh, I know, but I remember once a neighbour that he's now moved to another area,

but he came over once. We had a blocked, this was when my wife was, had a newborn, had a blocked toilet and he ended up putting his hand up the toilet and pulling out

a nappy that had fallen in there and someone had accidentally guessed and someone had an haze and Was he looking up at you going,

mate, this is definitely your territory. This falls under your jurisdiction but here I am with my hand up your e-spend.

I was like, wow, good on them. I'll make a cup of tea or something, eh? That's what I'm good for. Cups of tea. I was like, wow. Good on them. I'll make a cup of tea or something, eh? That's what I'm good for. Cups of teas.

I would never stick my hand up my neighbour's toilet. I don't know. That is... I was like, man, that's an impressive neighbour. That is.

Can you beat that? 0800 the hits. We're looking for New Zealand's best neighbour. Text is always open as well on New Zealand's Breakfast 4487. Let's go to Kate.

She's in Auckland. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Kate, you think you've got them? We do, yeah. Our neighbour, Auckland. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Kate, you think you've got them? We do, yeah. Our neighbour, Mac, he comes over and he does our garters. Oh, wow. That's awesome. Yeah. And he doesn't want anything for it. We don't even need to ask

him. He just wanders over and we find him out there doing the weave. When he first came over, you were like, oh, hello. A little surprise caught off guard. it was a bit of a shock yeah but we've definitely gotten used to it now you got used to it you're like hey well this is great this is one nice job uh for you to do so obviously he takes pleasure in doing that he does he loves it i don't want to stereotype demographs as mac uh over the age of 70. he might

be yeah oh isn't that lovely your dad likes doing. He likes mowing the other people's grassy berms. Yeah, that's one of his hobbies. Isn't that a generous thing to do, though? Isn't that gardening, mowing berms? Yeah. Yeah, that's what you do when you've got nothing else to do with your day. That's great. I mean, he could be sitting inside watching TV or something,

but he's getting out and helping people. Thank you, Kate. Appreciate it. Someone's texting 4487. Oh, this is Sarah, not someone. Sarah is someone to someone. She's saying her neighbour is a computer tech. Comes over, sets up all the Wi-Fi,

repairs any computer issues, figures out the modem and other computer jargon. That'd be handy, wouldn't it? Another one here. This is Todd in Christchurch. Our neighbour owns a restaurant, brings us food home regularly. At least three or four times a week for dinner. Oh my gosh, Gary. This is our old friend Gary.

How are you Gary? You've got New Zealand's best neighbour. Neighbours, plural. The whole community around our little home is, for my 50th birthday two years ago, at my barbecue party on my backyard, we had from the 30s up to the 90s, every generation or every age group in between.

Oh, that's cool. A big community. Yeah, we've got neighbours over the fence that are both 91 and still live independently. We've got neighbours over to the right side who are in their 40s. One of them was in their 30s two years ago. The age thing catches up on all of us. Yeah, it's the whole community that gets together.

All through lockdown, we sat on the right of way with our camping chairs, two metres apart, and all had a cup of tea. Oh, that's lovely. And that's what lockdown did. If anything, lockdown introduced you to your neighbours. Now I've forgotten all their names, though. Now we're back to ignoring them. Back to ignoring them.

Hey, good on you, Gary. Really appreciate it. Wasn't that a lovely topic? It was, actually. It started in a horrible place. It did. Ended up in a wonderful... Bullying, like accusations of bullying.

Even warmed the cockles of my cold, dead heart. I don't know what bullying was you in real life, but anyway. We apologise in advance. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Bye. Thanks to Sharesies, New Zealand's fastest growing share platform. Shares made easy.

All right, she'll party till the cows come home. I think the bigger question here is why are cows out at nightclubs? Juliet's out there partying with them. Here she is with Spy. You have some very good thoughts, don't you, Jonathan? Now, when you're on Instagram, it's very easy to get into a hole of stalking people, they call it. You know, you go onto someone's page and you have a wee scroll down, have a look at their old posts. But there's nothing worse than accidentally liking a post.

Like, you just want to throw your phone out the window, especially if it's an old phone. I mean, an old post, sorry. Because then they get the notification that... Can you unlike it? You can, but they've still got the notification. Oh, so they know. Oh, they know. Oh, really?

Is that why? Yes. So that's why if you accidentally like someone's old post on Instagram, you just throw that phone out and you pack up and move to another country. Anyway. That's your only option. So when I'm looking back at Ben's 2015 holiday to Russell when he was wearing those lovely tight togs on the beach,

I don't want to be caught liking that. No, you don't. You're like, oh God, now I'm on a vaccine. How do you accidentally, do you just swipe your accidentally?

It can happen, right? Yeah, sometimes when I've accidentally done it, if they've tagged someone in the photo, you tap the photo to see who they've tagged and if you tap

and you accidentally double tap, then that gives them a like. So you've got to be careful. You've got to be very careful. Those fingers can't go. So your only option then is to murder them. Yeah.

Take them out of the pool. Yeah. Anyway, my point is with this whole thing was John Mayer has been caught, whether it was accidentally or non-accidentally, liking a photo of Jennifer Aniston on a fan account. And as soon as he liked it, internet went crazy because they dated from 2008 to 2009, I think. And he must have been going through her tagged pictures

or something like that, went onto the fan account, accidentally liked it. And yeah, everyone's like, oh, he still digs it, which is, you know, a bit of an assumption. But yeah, then they're saying he's lurking. You never want to be accused of lurking.

Lurking is such an unsatisfying word. It happened to the Pope a couple of weeks ago. Oh, yeah. The Pope's official account, someone, they double tapped on a photo that was NSFW. Yes. Was the lady washing a car or something? No, it was like a naughty school person, you know.

The Pope. And they did a big inquiry into who the Pope said. Yeah. Comedy just writes itself, eh? Oh, jeez. 2020. I'll tell you what, Catholic priests do not

want to be tapping school anyway. Yeah. It's a good lesson. It's probably, yeah, you'd rather John Mayer like an old photo of Jim Sanderson.

Do you reckon the Pope was like, just threw his phone out of the Vatican? I don't know, I've unliked, I've unliked. Too late, mate. Too late, it's already up there, they get the notification was like, ah! Just threw his phone out of the Vatican. I don't know, I've unliked, I've unliked. Too late, mate.

Too late, it's already up there, they get the notification. Yes, exactly. Imagine the model in the photo would be like, oh, no. The Pope likes this? He'd be like, wow, this is a real big claim to fame, isn't it?

She was like in her 20s and stuff, not so before when you said the school thing, it wasn't, but still, unusual for the Pope to... Yeah, exactly. Lovely compliment, though. Yeah, I'd like the Pope to like my photos. Why is he not looking at enough of the hits breakfast on Instagram, is he? Tag us in, Pope.

Yeah, exactly. And in other news, Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler, they have teased their fourth film together. So they've done a film together once every decade for the past three decades. Oh, it's become a tradition. I think it's going to become a trend because they've spoken and they're like, yep, we need to do it. We've got another nine years or so to do another movie.

So they haven't said what it is. I don't even know if there's anyone in the works. He's turned them out on Netflix. Some of the most watched things on Netflix they haven't seen in the movies. Really? That's his thing now. He's done a lot. Instead of going to the movie theatres, they just make them for Netflix. He's smart. Made more movies than I've had a hot dinner. I? That's his thing now. He's done a lot. Instead of going to the movie theatres, they just make them for Netflix. And it's smart. Made more movies than I've had a hot dinner. Yeah.

I'm very malnourished, but he's made a lot of movies. Yeah. So he did the one where he had to keep reminding her that she had amnesia. What was that one? 50 First Dates.

They've done The Wedding Singer and Blenders as well. Yeah, you're right. That was Adam Sandler, wasn't it? Yeah, it was. Yeah, sorry. I got confused. You had to remind me. Yes, it was. No, you're right. That was Adam Sandler, wasn't it? It was, yes. Sorry, I got confused. You had to remind me.

Yes, it was. Yes, they've done three and hopefully they'll do a fourth and many more until they die. It turns out with Jennifer Anderson as well too, quite a lot. Pardon? Yeah. Who what, sorry?

Jennifer Anderson as well and him, you know, a tight little team, right? Really? Yeah. Yeah, well, he went back to 10 years in her Instagram account and liked the photo.

She was like, oh, maybe he wants to make a movie with me. That's how that evolved I've liked this I don't have it and next it'll be

the Pope liking Jennifer Aniston's posts and that is five more you can check out the hits.co.nz like starting your day with Panda Eyes it's Jono and Ben

on the hits I've got a question to ask you guys who does at the end of a phone conversation who do you feel the hang up

who do you feel the responsibility of the hang up lays, who do you feel the responsibility of the hang-up lays with? Oh, I've never really thought about that, but maybe the person who made the call. I love hanging up at the end of the conversation. Oh, I don't. I hang up and people are still going, I'm like, yeah, good. I just don't like being on the phone.

I've been, yeah, I've only been halfway through a sentence and Ben's hung up on me. Yeah. You don't like spending more than two minutes on the phone, do you? I feel like it's a waste of time, you do your pace, you just wander around. He doesn't even just wander around in circles. I enjoy texts and I was like,

get to the point. What's the point? Oh, yeah, cool. I got it. And then we move on and we, yeah. I feel like sometimes you feel like you have

to go through sort of, it's like the Zoom meetings at home. They took a lot longer to do, you know, than when you could go see someone in the office and go, hey, mate,

have you got that thing? Yeah, there you go. Rather than, hey, so anyway. I'll send you a link. Oh, the mic's not on. Camera's not on. I can't hear you. Yeah, I see what you're saying.

Fumbly, you just like straight direct communication. Yeah, just get to it. Send me a text. Yeah, get to the point. Don't call me. Yeah. Okay. Because this is something that drives Jen, my wife, truly bonkers, is that I refuse to

hang up. She's like, who do you think you are that you don't have to hang up? And now it's ended off in quite a tense standoff. Every phone call we have, she now refuses to hang up. I refuse to hang up. So we both just sit there in silence, listening to what the other one's doing, but both

sticking to our guns, not wanting to hang up. So you say bye? Yeah, like bye. Oh right, and then no one hangs up. See you later, love you. And then I'm like, well, I'm not hanging up. It's not my thing. It's my thing not to hang up. Like I've been running with it for years. Why don't you like hanging up?

I'm just like. What's the point? I'm a trusting guy. I'm going to trust that if I'm talking to Julian on the phone, she'll do the hanging up. So you don't like the hanging up part of the end of the phone conversation, even quite clear that you've wrapped it up. You've got no more to say.

You just like to hang hanging in there just in case yeah and I just sort of sit there and listen to her either driving or doing shopping or something like that and just I mean we've probably

still got a phone conversation going for four days ago right now my phone's still ticking over something my wife has just started doing and she loves it she'll be talking to like

say she's talking to my sister because I'm probably not talking to her for that long either you don't talk to your family. He doesn't even call his mum. He only texts his mum. Hi, mum.

But I'll go to call Amanda, my wife, and she'll be talking to my sister. She manages to merge the call. So she'll merge and then suddenly I'm like, hello, and my sister will be going, hello, and then Amanda just steps back and just watches the confusion. And it doesn't matter who she's talking to because it'll come through on her.

Oh, Ben's calling through. I'll just merge this call and then shut up. And I doesn't matter who she's talking to. Yeah, because it'll come through on her. Like, oh, Ben's calling through. I'll just merge this call and then shut up. And I'm like, oh, Amelia? Oh, hey, how's it going? He hates talking to his family so much. He has to be pranked into talking to his family. And it starts with at least 60 seconds of confusion. I know.

It does it to all sorts of people as well. You're like, oh, this is, hey, how's it going? He spends 60 seconds figuring out how he's ended up there and 60 seconds figuring out how he's going to get off the phone. Lou in calories and Lou in laughs. It's Jono and Ben on my hits. Scrolling through your feed. As such, that's a good old get out of bed song, isn't it? Oh, yes.

Woo, I'm on the edge. Going to have a hell of a day. Well, ladies and gentlemen, we proudly present the most inaccurate recollection of news stories over the last 24 hours. It's Ben Boyce with Scrolling Through Your Feed. And the latest One News Colmar Brunton poll is out. Love a Colmar Brunton poll. Who is Colmar Brunton? It's a company, right?

It's obviously a research company, isn't it? I think so, yeah. I think that's what they do. Are there any other poll companies? Oh, I think they had the Read Research one and stuff like that. It's another one. The News Hub Read Research poll. The One News Colmar Brunton poll.

The Calendar Girls poll. Yeah. But Labour up 7% compared to the last poll before the election. So they're up even higher. They were getting its election, post-election honeymoon. And Jacinda Ardern is up to 58% as preferred prime minister in New Zealand. Judith Collins. Oh, Judy.

Judy's down. Rudy, Rudy, Rudy, Judy. Down points to 12%. 12%. And John Key's at like a 1% or 2%. And I mean, he's like, I don't even want the job. I'm over in the running. Why am I even in the mix?

Why was he mentioning me? Tony from Tony's Tire Service is polling higher than Rudy, Judy. But I suppose, leading up to the campaign, they had equal amounts of media coverage. Yes, true. Now, you hardly ever see Rudy Judy on the news now, do you? No, you don't. I miss Rudy Judy.

We should talk to her every week, every second week now. Not a phone call. She doesn't want us anymore. I feel used and abused. The politicians, they're in there every week, every day. We haven't had one since, have we? James Shaw hasn't texted me since. We came in and you called on me and said he looked like Mr Bean.

I saw that online. Some people said he looked like Mr Bean. And he was like, oh, well, I'm not entirely flattered by that. Yeah, they chewed us up and they spat us out, Ben. And we fell for it. We're like, yes, we'll have you on the show. And we'll have him back again next election, that's for sure. And this is really interesting.

The Cancer Society and Consumer New Zealand have done their sunscreen testing, and it shows that quite a lot of the brands are not living up to the standards, the sunscreen standards of what they say, whether they SPF 50 or they're not quite at that level. Ironically, didn't the Cancer Society sunscreen not meet? A couple of years ago, apparently it's all good now.

That's one of the ones that has passed the test and is all good, yeah. I said that now, so I was saying, well, this could be defamation. No, I think in 2018 and 2019 it didn't quite meet the standards, but now it's all good, according to this. Yeah, I tell you one thing I regret. When I was younger, I did not apply as much sunscreen as a pasty man should have. It wasn't as much of a thing. No.

Now it is kind of a thing. No, the thing was you got burnt to a crisp, and then you rode that out for a week, and you had a lovely summer tan. Yeah. And then you continued to get burnt throughout the summer. And I'm just getting moles cut out of me left, right, and centre now. Well, now with the kids, everybody, you've got sunscreen, you've got to put your sunscreen on.

They get sick of me telling them that. I don't remember mum so much. You know? No. Run out, go outside and then put a singlet on later in the day.

She was more concerned about me wearing clean underwear for some reason than she was putting sunscreen on. The thing is, our sun is so harsh here. Like, you even go to Australia, it's a little bit softer

and not as cutting. In Los Angeles, you can be out all day and you'll be fine. But can even go to Australia, it's a little bit softer and not as cutting. In Los Angeles, you can be out all day and you'll be fine. But here, for some reason, it's just like a knife just cutting through your back. So yeah, you've got to put on sunscreen.

So what are the brands, bro? Oh, don't ask me that. Doesn't that feel like a natural question? Well, yeah, okay. It does. It does. So you want the good ones or the bad ones? All of them.

Just the whole range. Okay, what ones should we buy? To meet the claims was Cancer Society was one of the top five ones that came through according to the poll. Anivia, Skinny's Conquer, I haven't heard of this one, Mecca Cosmetica

and Cetaphil Sun Kids as well were the top five. And what about your banana boats? I don't want to go into, I feel like that might. Oh, you don't want to slander. Yeah, I don't want to,

yeah, but I feel like some of them didn't quite reach the standards that maybe they were saying. And if you want to find out what those are, well then you can research yourself.

The internet. Yeah, because they could be potential clients on this show and we will take their money even though they give you melanoma. The sunscreen hour. Very true. We'll be slapping that on

at some stage. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. The A to Z of New Zealand. I didn't realise at the end of that song

she's just basically talking about going to the ATM machine. Get some cash out, babe. She sings it all through the song. Needs a lot of cash for her night in Vegas. From the 00check account, thank you very much. This is the A to Z of New Zealand where we're phoning every town and city in this fine country, Aotearoa. And today, Kakaramea, which is in the Taranaki region of New Zealand.

And according to the website, if you blink, you'll miss it. Kakaramea. That's what they say about this town. So you want those eyeballs open and fully functional as you're driving through. It doesn't look like there's much there apart from a school and a town hall. And we are going to go through to one of the locals in Kakaramea right now. Hello, Jack speaking.

Hi, Jack speaking. It's Jono and Ben here from the Hits radio station. Oh, hi, Jono and Ben. How are you? Yeah, we're doing really wellits radio station. Oh, hi, Jono and Ben. How are you? Yeah, we're doing really well. You sound like a knowledgeable person of kakaramea. I sure do. I've lived here forever and ever.

Now, for those not in the know, the uneducated amongst us, the heathens, whereabouts is it? So it's south Taranaki, and it's between New Plymouth and Whanganui, a coastal town. Yeah, right. And I understand you're the mastermind and host of the town's annual Christmas dinner. Oh, yes. You're one of them, one of the hosts, which we have at the Kakarimia Hall.

How many people would turn up for that? We get up to sort of 80 people, actually. Oh, that's a lot to cater for, isn't it? I'm no good at managing the timings of the different things that are cooking. How do you handle that, Jack? Oh, it's always potluck, so everyone turns up with their best and most popular dish. Well-fed. That's a good way to avoid it.

We should do potluck Christmas dinners. Yeah, everyone brings a potluck, yeah. It's a great idea. You get the best meal of the year. So, yeah, it's a great night. And Santa always turns up too. Oh. To tell you what, he doesn't even look past Kakaramea, Santa Claus.

No. What a guy. We're top of his list. And you've lived there for four generations. Now, I'm just looking at an article. There's an article actually about you. You're the tour guide here in this news article. And it says in the 1900s, Kakaramea had a champion tug-of-war team.

That's right. Yeah. And we've got a photo in the hall of some of them. So how many was in a tug-of-war? Was it like eight per side of the rope? I think it's eight. And they've also got their coach, who was actually the publican of the pub at the time,

and they had amazing strong arms. So when you look at the photo, they're just like all muscle, these men. Big biceps, eh? Big biceps and kakara, man. Yeah, absolutely. And they competed all around the province. Tug of war was quite a thing back then. Who knew tug of war was a competitive sport? Oh, no, it was huge around the province. It was, tug of war was quite a thing back then. Who knew tug of war was a competitive sport? Oh, no, it was huge in the day.

I thought it was just something to fill in time at primary school athletics days. Yeah, yeah. No, there was even a cup for that they competed for. We don't quite know where the cup is now, but there's a photo of it in this photo. I mean, just after hearing you, I'm like, why am I not living in Kakaramea? That sounds wonderful. It's the place to be. You'll restart the tug of war team, mate. I'm a tugger.

I'm always called one of them. That's right. We could be great here. We could be the champion. Number one seed. We'll have the rope ready. Well, listen, we have learned, you know, we've called a lot of places on this A to Z of New Zealand, and I tell you what, yours has been very informative.

Oh, fantastic. Thanks for ringing me. We love our town. We're so proud. It also says here, it's a blink and you'll miss it kind of place too. It is, yeah. So don't blink. Don't blink.

Because there's a lot to see. Drive through with your eyes wide open. Absolutely. Good on you, Jack. Lovely to hear from you. You go and have a wonderful day in Kakaramea. I certainly will. You too, you guys.

Wake up full of shame. Wake up with these guys. It's Jono and Ben on the Heads. Had a meeting. It was a sandwich shop, wasn't it? And we sat down to eat the sandwich. And you ordered a sandwich. Yeah.

And I really appreciated the honesty of the waiter because you're like, I'll get this sandwich. And she was like, no, no, you can't do that because all the sandwiches have to be toasted today. And you're like, oh, toasted sandwiches. She's like, yeah. And then I could tell you were like, hmm, okay, this is a bit of a reset on what I want to eat.

And she was like, I'm just going to be honest with you. We messed up ordering the bread today. So the only bread we have is out of the fridge, and it's not your soft sandwich quality. Works better in a toasted format. And I was like, I appreciate your honesty. And it was great. Yeah.

It was. I had an enjoyable sandwich, and I was like, that's great. It's actually quite good to be quite honest in those situations. Well, you don't get enough honesty from people in those things. They'll be like, oh, no, toasted. The chef just wants to do toasted. He's in a toasty mood. So that's why we had to go toasted.

But I remember going to KFC once down there and they'd run out of chicken. So it happens. Even Colonel Sanders mucks up his ordering. Yeah. Your dad went to an Italian restaurant, didn't he? I just remembered. And the guy was speaking in Italian. And then your dad spoke back.

And he was like, no, to be honest, please don't speak anymore. He's like, they get me to put on this voice. He's like, ciao. Can you do an Italian accent now? I'm not sure. It's offensive nowadays. Everything. Everything is.

Even us doing a New Zealand accent is offensive. But yeah, no, because Dad is in his retired age, started to learn Italian, and he was trying to impress us and order off the menu in Italian. Confusing the guy, the poor guy. Bam, boosling him. He's like, I'm just a uni student, mate.

I come here every day and they get us to put on. He was good at it, though. He was convincing. He looked like an Italian. Years ago, there used to be a restaurant, I think up here in Auckland, I went to. And that was part of the thing we'd go along to and they would kind of mock you.

That was part of the waiters would mock you. That was kind of, you knew that. Well, most people knew that walking in and that was part of the charm of the place. So I'd sit down and be like, look at you, you bald idiot. What are you, sick? And you were like, you know, you'd go to order.

I remember when the lady, and I was like, I'm thinking about you. She'd go. Oh my goodness. You know, like, you know, you'd go to order. I remember when the lady, and I was like, I'm thinking about you. You go. Oh, my goodness. You know, just give you grief, which was really fun. If you didn't realise that was the shtick of the restaurant, you'd be. What is this place?

But midway through, unfortunately, I think one of the guys knocked a wine over me. And then after that, it was amazing how the act stopped. And they were like, so sorry, sorry about that. You guys are, you're all right. But it was funny. Aren't you meant to be abusing me? Isn't this part of the whole act? Yeah, it was an accident. Throwing wine over Ben? It was amazing how the act, you know, stopped. And they were like, sorry, sorry about that. You guys are here. But it was funny. Aren't you meant to be abusing me? Isn't this part of the whole act?

Yeah, it was an accident. It was fine. But it was funny how it was like, oh, okay, this is the real them. This is clearly an act. It's a tough job waiting. I mean, I did it for at least four to five hours when I was coming through the grades. Mid-shift you left.

Yeah, I did. I did work for Ellerslie Racecourse. It was actually when the last America's Cup was on and you had to, oh I did. I did work for Ellerslie Racecourse. It was actually when the last America's Cup was on and you had to, I was just like, this is just not for me. You know?

I understand that, but I still don't know why you didn't keep just going to the Indian Ships. I was like, I'm going to do more damage than good here. I'd already spilled a tray

of champagne down a poor lady's back and she was doing that. It's okay, it's okay. But again, you're like, this is not okay. If this was me, I wouldn't be okay.

Do you know what? My first job, I worked at Tank, the juice bar. And this is when I realized that, you know, hospitality and working with food wasn't for me. I was at my trial and I was making a smoothie and I forgot to put the lid on. So they were waiting everywhere. But then I still got the job,

so they must have been really desperate. Put the lids on. This is not my calling. We have to remind Juliet to put her headphones on every day. And put the microphones on. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Bye.

Thanks to Sharesies, New Zealand's fastest growing share platform. Shares made easy. Here's a slanderous update featuring celebrities where we can say anything about them because they'll never hear it. Juliet, come on in with Spy. What do you mean? Harry and Meghan are totally listening to this show right now. So they are launching their own honours list

as part of their Archwell Foundation, but it'll be rivalling the Queen's Birthday's honours list that she does every year. So the Queen's birthday honours list recognises people who have done well in the community and everything like that. And that's exactly what Harry and Meghan want to do with their new one. The dishonourable list.

I know. I'm like, mate, the Queen's already got that. What are you trying to do here? But I mean, sorry. Juliet's a big royalist. I shouldn't get so passionate about this. trying to do here. But I mean, sorry. Juliet's a big royalist. I shouldn't get so passionate about this. But it does seem like a little bit of, they must

obviously, they know the Queen's thing is a thing. We all know it's a thing. So this seems like it's a little bit like, oh, it's a competition. And they made a conscious decision to remove themselves from anything royal. Yeah. Any protocol. Yeah. Any ties to the family. Yeah. Although I'm thinking maybe now that they live in the US, it could be

more US focused, whereas the Queens might be more, I guess the Queens is Commonwealth. Yeah, no, it's all, yeah. Well, this is awkward because I was about to start my honours list as well, too, the Jono Pryor honours list. Who makes your honours list? Both of you guys do. Thank you. For being wonderful people. Okay. For services to

being good human beings. Producer Humphrey for services to parking in the disabled good human beings. Oh, that's lovely. Producer Humphrey for services to parking in the disabled car park every day. And that's it? That's all I've got. Well done.

Love it, love it. And on the subject of royals as well, if you're following The Crown, which is a big, big show on Netflix at the moment.

I haven't seen it. I haven't seen it, but Ben always told me that it had the jingle to The Crown. There's nothing like a crown for picking up and putting it down. Yeah, that's it.

Turns out that was a lie. So I take away the honours that I just gave you moments ago. For services to lies. No, it's really good. I haven't seen this new series, but apparently this new series is pretty... The new season? Yeah, of the crown. Yeah, yeah.

It's got Princess Diana and Prince Charles, and it all starts to get a bit all the behind the scenes of that relationship. My big thing is like, how do they know these things went on or these things were said? Or this is factual?

Well, there's been some things on Netflix whether they should be putting it out and saying this is not, this is based on true stories but obviously it's not a fully true story, right?

Exactly. So as it's kind of, as the seasons have progressed, there have been a few more things that have been a bit more fabricated and like Charles and Camilla haven't been painted in the greatest light

and so people are kind of wondering if that's fair on them and the UK Culture Secretary asked Netflix to add a label that it's fictional but Netflix have now come back and said we've always presented The Crown as a drama and we have

every confidence our members understand it's a work of fiction that's broadly based on historical events, and so they're not gonna put a disclaimer that it's fictional. But then, you know, I totally get that, you know, when you're watching The Crown, you, I think you should go into it thinking, all of this might not be

correct. But I guess from the Royals' point of view, they're like, yeah, that's fine, but that's me. It's like the story of Ben Boyce. It is Ben Boyce, but we've made up a lot of crazy crap about what went on in that conversation with Joe. I can see why they would be, especially like Charles and Camilla, if they hadn't been painted in the best light. Yeah, you're right.

If you're making that stuff up, that's fine. Because some of those projects that are based on people's lives, they normally have someone from the project across it, you know? Like, I think with the Freddie Mercury movie and the Queen one, they had Brian May and the band over it. Yeah, it's going, that happened, that didn't happen. Yeah, these things happen, so they're across it. But you're right, in this instance, they're like,

well, we don't know anything about it. Yeah, so it's Charles and Camilla. It's not Steve and Kate, two characters. And I think they're probably now quite worried because they're going to be next in line to the throne that this is all coming out just before. Like the Queen is already starting to do handovers with Charles, so he's going to more events while she's taking a bit more of a step back.

A very slow one. Yeah, yeah. And so they'll probably be like, well, the timing of the crown isn't very ideal for us just as we're about to step in. Well, I tell you who will be sweating bullets, Prince Andrew. He'll be like, if they're making this stuff a bit challenging,

imagine how wild they're going to go with his storyline. Oh my God, that is so true. And that is a royal edition for Spy for You. For more, you can check out the hits.co.nz. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Well, today is going to be a good day, that's all we want to know. Give us a call right now and get your day started right.

Do you know, I remember about three months ago we went to Taupo and we tried to get the novelty hole-in-one on the lake there. And we were kindly gifted by She Loves Golf a whole bunch of golf balls. Now I remember that your wife Amanda, she wanted all the boxes. She's a primary school teacher. She wanted hundreds of golf ball boxes. For arts and crafts at school. Yeah, and you were like, don't take the boxes.

They're just going to end up in our boot for about six months or end up in the garage for six months. And I want to know, what was the outcome of that? Because it just reminded me. I need to check them. I need to check them. I'm going to go home tonight and look in the garage for six months. And I want to know, what was the outcome of that? Because it just reminded me. I need to check them. I need to check them. I'm going to go home tonight and look in the boot of the car. Because you were like, you're never going to take those to primary school.

You're never. And she's like, I will. And it felt like one of those quite tense marital discussions that I was involved with. And I was dragged into it. Ben was looking at me for support. And I'm like, I'm not giving you anything, mate. I feel like they probably have been taken there just to prove a point.

You know, it's one of those things where I'm going to take them to school right away. Take them to school and put them in the incinerator just so it looks like I've taken them to school. Well, it's a good day for you then if they're out of your life.

Yeah, I think they actually are out of my life. Because there's a lot of boxes. Yeah, there's a lot. The kids are using them for arts and crafts. It's good. Poppy, my daughter,

she took six of the boxes because each of them had, you know, little boxes inside the big box which housed the golf balls. And she's like Poppy, my daughter, she took six of the boxes because each of them had, you know, little boxes inside the big box, which housed the golf balls. And she's like, for my birthday, I want you to spray paint all the boxes and then I'll put little chocolates in them. They can be like little gift boxes. Mate, I was spray painting mauve, pink, lime, spray paint all over my fingers. I even got spray paint on the car. And then she's like, oh, no, I don't like them.

It could be toxic. The paint could be toxic for the chocolates. I'm like, well, this could have been something we could have discussed before my weekend. It's a weird design process of this thing. Yeah, I don't think Team New Zealand finally got out in the water and Grant Dalton's like to his designers, you know what? This isn't going to work.

No, no. Yeah, well, Grant, we could have flagged this about, I don't know, six to 12 months ago. Anyway, give us a call right now. 0800 the hits. Why is today going to be a good day? Love to hear from you. Let's get Tuesday started right.

Morgan, come on in from Rotorua. How are you? Hello. How are you? And why is it going to be a good one for you, Morgs? Well, I've just come from Matamata to Rotorua for work, and it's sunny. I'm so excited.

Beautiful sunny day. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from sex on The Hits and via the iHeartRadio app. Jono and Ben on The Hits Breakfast. Friends of Skinny.