Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - December 09 - The Google Search Game, Erana James, The Greatest Christmas Songs Of All Time

Episode Date: December 9, 2020

The list of what New Zealanders Googled the most in 2020 has been released (including why were cornflakes invented, but that's one you can Google yourself... #NSFW) so we road-tested a game involving Google with you guys. It went horribly pear-shaped first attempt! Jono also has a bit of a bugbear (quite literally) because his pantry is infested with weevils and he doesn't know what to do about it. Finally, Ben utilised the old props from the Jono and Ben TV show to create his own creepy Santa in his lounge, much to his wife's disapproval. Enjoy the poddy!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast. It's good to be with you on a podcast form today.

Yeah, it has been good. You look to be very confused. Yeah, so I'm just getting confused. Now I just wear my headphones. You've got headphones, traditionally they go over your ears. I just wear them on my temples now because I find myself slowly, over the 20 years I've been doing this job, becoming harder and harder of hearing. Right, yeah. Do you find that? I'm very deaf. Yeah, I do find you're very deaf, but I also find that maybe that's going to happen to me as well, just listening to, you know. Yeah, but I also find that maybe that's going to happen to me as well, just listening to, you know.

Yeah, but I do like to listen to what's going on, because sometimes you don't want any surprises. Like, sometimes we do interviews with people and the microphone's not even on. You would almost liken it to driving with a blindfold, wouldn't you? Yeah. Without wearing headphones. It's not ideal. It's risque. Like, I've taken them fully off now.

Anything could be happening underneath me right now. Yeah. And I don't even know. Exactly. Nothing. Nothing's happening at all. I can tell. And I don't even know. Exactly. Nothing. Nothing's happening at all. I can tell because there's a clock ticking through your headphones. You can hear that.

But we had a fun show this morning. What did we do? Jeez, I can never remember. Oh, yeah, that was all right. We looked for the best Christmas song ever made. And we were talking about Bruce Springsteen. Intro's his version of Santa Claus Coming to Town. That's a great version, a great song, but he sort of has,

I feel like he padded it out quite a lot, but with a conversation with the E Street band that he could have had before they started recording. He's got about a 40-second lead in here, 40-second of filler content. He's sort of setting the scene, it's cold. His wind's whipping down. Hey, band.

Hey, band. Hey, band. You guys know what time of year it is. Now, at that point, Bruce is like, I've done with all my Christmas banter. Now, I've got to look around what's around me. I've got the band. The band are there playing. Hey, band.

We're playing the loop. We're playing the start, waiting for Bruce to kick in. But we're like, what time? What? What? What? What? I can't hear you.

And they're like, yeah, it's because we're not on a mic. Maybe Bruce didn't have his headphones on. Oh. You guys all been good and practicing real hard. And they're like, yeah, we turn up to rehearsal every day, Bruce Springsteen. Thanks for remembering our names as well, too. Just calling us band. Hey, band.

Clarence, you been rehearsing real hard now. Oh, Clarence got a shout out. Clarence. You've been rehearsing. He almost zeroes in on Clarence. As if Clarence has been pulling his weight this year. Mate, I've been there every day. I've been rehearsing real hard now. Oh, Clarence got a shout out. Clarence. You've been rehearsing. He almost zeroes in on Clarence. As if Clarence hasn't been pulling his weight this year. Mate, I've been there every day. I've been there.

Bring your new saxophone, Ray. Everybody out there been good. I think Clarence, the last thing Clarence wants is a new saxophone. He's like, I've got one. He's got 30 saxophones. Oh, that's not many. Not many of you guys in trouble out here. So he's 45 seconds in now.

You're like, is he going to start singing? Here we go. Hell of a rendition though. That is. He's got a great voice. I mean, I do understand why he's worried about how much they've been working on him. He's the boss. They call him the boss, right?

So he's like, hey, Clarence, you've been working hard this year. This is your end of year appraisal performance appraisal you think we're doing a song but really you've just been tricked into doing

a performance appraisal Tommy you can pick your game up next year you want a new saxophone well if you do you better work harder get those monthly reports up

do you know there's so many versions of Santa Claus is coming to town in the system there's honestly about 30 everyone has a version eh

Jimmy I just came back from a lovely trip version, eh? I don't know. Jimmy, I just came back from a lovely trip along the Milky Way. I don't know who that is. Oh, goodness. Oh, here we are again. Another year has gone by. Another year has gone by. That's Cindy Lawper, I think.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Is this Boo Play, is it? Or Sinatra? No, neither. It's dipping in that style. Then there's a hip-hop one. Then there's a hip-hop one.

Oh, no, I don't need the hip-hop one. It's just the hip-hop one. Oh, no, it's Jackson 5. I can't find the hip-hop one. I know it's Jackson 5. I can't find the hip-hop one. Okay, but you felt like you had it there, but you didn't anyway. I keep trying to. Bruce Springsteen will be talking about that in your monthly performance appraisal. That's for sure, when the boss comes down.

Hey, bald guy! You've been working hard. You're like, please don't zero in on me. Yeah, so enjoy the podcast. We also talked to a wonderful Kiwi actor who's starring in what is going to be a worldwide smash hit. It was filmed here in New Zealand. She's the only Kiwi cast member. And we talked to Edana James on the program as well.

Just like a chocolate milkshake, only white and disappointing. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. All right, I'm suffering an infestation. I've got the bug guy coming over to our house today. On the weekend, I noticed in the cupboard, well, I didn't notice, but Oscar, my son, was like, oh, there's bugs in the cupboard. And you're like, oh, I just can't be bothered dealing with it.

Let's just ignore it. Shut the cupboard. Hey? Let's just shut the cupboard. Shut the cupboard. Burn the cupboard. You know, you just hope that they just decide the bugs are like, oh, this place isn't for us,

we'll just move away on our own accord. Yeah. And they never do, do they? If anything, they multiply. Yeah, they bring more of their friends inside,

don't they? Hey, this place is great. This is great. But the weevils, have you ever had weevils? No, I haven't.

Producer Juliet, you were saying you've had weevils in your house before. All through the rice, especially. Gosh, they love rice. Especially if you have rice just for too long,

then they grow into, you know, the little weevils and then they turn into, do they eventually turn into moths? Oh, that's what I thought, yeah. Well, they're beetles, according to what I've seen online. Cool name, I quite like weevils. Yeah, a little weevil. Weevil Knievels.

Dr. Weevil. Yeah. The bug guy was like, a lot of people bring them back from the supermarket. So they get into products. Because they can chew through plastic. He's like, some of the Weevils have even evolved. They're chewing through cans.

Wow. Mate, the Weevils are coming, and there's a lot of them. And you're just like... We're worried about this. We're concentrating on this virus. Are we sure we'll be spending more attention concentrating on the Weevils?

Yeah, and it's amazing. Like, every time I look in there, there's on the weevils yeah and it's like every time I look in there there's more and more of them and it's just like how big are they oh they're tiny

right yeah they're tiny little things but they it's like when I go to the beach and then I take my togs off at the end

of the day and just I was like where's all that sand been stored I thought you were going to say something else

was tiny well that's a given a weevil would be generous. Go to the beach and it looks like a weevil. At the end of the day. It's been a long day at the beach. Cold water. Cold water, yeah.

I understand. I understand. I'm with you. Hey, you've got toothpaste on the side of your mouth. It's Juno and Ben on my heads. Now, I love a list. I'm with her. Hey, you've got toothpaste on the side of your mouth. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. Now, I love a list. I love a list. What I love at this time of year as a commercial radio host

is everyone releases their lists, don't they? Filler content of, you know, most hated people of 2020, most loved people of 2020, most trusted brand of 2020. Yeah. It all comes out. So the list at the moment is the most Googled searches in New Zealand for 2020. So the things that we've all looked at on Google.

Yeah, some people are like, oh. I was on incognito the whole time. Couldn't tell what I was looking at. People's names have been attached. No, this is generally what has been the most Googled things. So Dennis, we'll read out your internet history after this song. Top of overall

searches, obviously coronavirus. News event searches, coronavirus leading that one. Kiwi celebs, Hayley Holt. And I imagine that was centred around Hayley's devastating news about the loss of her baby. Lovely Hayley. Interesting questions. Why were cornflakes invented was top.

That's a hell of a question. Why were they invented? I don't want to know the answer. There's actually a story that apparently might not be true, but yeah, that's something you can also Google. It's probably NSFW at the moment. Well, cornflakes are not safe for work. Oh, no, the story behind which that apparently might not be true with the Google, but there's anyway.

Is it in the same category as the Mountain Dew school yard rumour? Yeah, kind of along those lines. Mountain Dew shrunk certain parts of you. Yeah. What is the kingdom in Tangled called? Was something else that was Googled? And apparently that's Corona. It was called Corona.

So there you go. Why is the sky blue? Was something else that New Zealanders were Googling? How to lose weight was apparently quite big. Big after lockdown, huh? Stop looking at me when you say that. What? He's like, maybe you can type that into your search engine.

He keeps bringing pants that I don't fit into work. No. But aren't you so, we had this conversation with Craig, one of our bosses. You're so refreshingly honest with Google. Out of anything in your life, you're more honest with Google

than you are with any friend, family member, colleague. I mean, you type in anything. You type in embarrassing questions you're afraid to ask out loud to other people. Well, you're true. You feel like Google's that sort of secret sort of search engine that you're like, okay, I need to know this without asking. It knows the embarrassing products you buy.

It knows all the embarrassing websites you visit. It knows everything. And one day, it's refreshing to know that Google... Will release lists. Will release that list. Of most Google things. One by one, they have really got us by a certain part of our body. Oh, mate.

Haven't they? They could really be extorting us for a lot of money, eh? Hey, we've got your Google list. You're like, what? What? Everything. Yeah. Since the internet was invented, we've got it all, buddy.

Do you want us to release this or do you want us to pay? I'll pay you whatever you want. Please don't release that list. So we want to play a bit of a game and we figure we could pitch this to the Olympics. I know they've chucked break dancing into the Olympic Games in Paris. This is the Google Games. So what we need is two callers right now on 0800 THE HITS. The game is pretty simple.

We name, we ask you a question. You've got 10 seconds to Google it and give us the answer. Welcome to the Google Games from Nelson Nardia. Morena, how are you? Hello. Good to have you on. Nards and Shiloh from Taranaki. Welcome to New Zealand's breakfast, Shiloh.

Hello. How's your father, Tom? Okay, move on from that. That one even made Ben groan. Shiloh and Nadia, basically it's pretty simple. We're going to ask you a question and each of you have 10 seconds to Google the answer. This is how the Google Games works.

And just before we get started, I was Googling the most commonly Googled questions about Benjamin Boyce. Oh, really? Is Ben Boyce happy? It just comes up top. Is Ben Boyce the pack and safe stick man? Is Ben Boyce flexible in the leg region?

And then I was like, well, I wonder what they're saying about me. Is John O'Prior the most charitable human being? Oh, God. Is Jono Pryor as awesome as he seems? This is Google. This isn't me. This is fact.

Yeah. Okay, you guys have 10 seconds. We don't expect you to know all the answers to this. That's why you've got Google to help you out, okay? Yeah. Let's go to Nadia first. First question for Nadia.

What is the capital of Spain? Ten seconds on the clock now to Google it. How's the Googling going, Nadia? It's Madrid.

Madrid or Madrid? Whatever. That's one for one. Well done, Nadia. Over to Shiloh. Ten seconds. The Google Games. Name us the third

president of the United States of America. Go now. These guys, now we realise listening to someone Google is not that interesting. Yeah, because it's quite, you're like panicking. You've only got ten seconds. You've got... Oh, 1-0, 1-0 to Nadia. It was Thomas Jefferson Shiloh.

Shiloh's still Googling. Sorry, this Wi-Fi is shocking here. Back to you, Nards. Name us. The population of Palmerston North. Hit the Google now. Nadia could go 2-0. What half of I could spell? 88,300.

Yes! That's what we got when we Googled it before in the song. So well done. You're up 2-0. Shiloh, who is the most followed person on Instagram? The most followed person on Instagram. Start Googling. 10 seconds. Shiloh trying to claw it back here.

That person sucks. They haven't even asked it. What? Are they still there? Shiloh's still there. Shiloh, can you even hear us? Yeah, are they even there? Yeah, we're here.

No, no, I think Shiloh. I think we're talking to Nadia right now. Oh, no, it's Nadia going, that person sucks. Oh, she's sledging. Yeah. Shiloh. Oh, you've been playing against no one That makes me so happy I was just having a conversation with no one

for about five minutes Shiloh was very confused at the end of that You're doing really well Nadia So let's just see if you can knock Shiloh out 3-0 with the final question. Jacinda Ardern's middle name. Ten seconds to Google it. Take it away, Nadia. Kate Laurel.

Kate Laurel. There we go. Well done. You take out the Google games because we lost one of the contestants on the way. Producer Humphrey's saying she hung up after my Tom Cruise reference. That was the last we heard of her. That was. I went, no.

And then we politely declined to play the game. That was the best moment I've ever had. Nadia winning against absolutely no one. Well done, Nadia. You're off to Reading Cinemas. You've got some fancy seats as well. You'll enjoy that. Thank you so much for playing by yourself.

You won that game well. New Zealand's breakfast. Just don't eat them. They're chewy. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Joining us right now on Zoom is a Kiwi actor who was the lead in the film The Changeover, which was written by Margaret Mahi

and also starred Lucy Lawless. You might have seen her also in Golden Boy on TV with James Rolleston. But now she's in a hotly anticipated series on Amazon Prime. It's out on Friday, the first three episodes. It's called The Wilds. The Wilds is going to be huge worldwide. And it was filmed in New Zealand, which is awesome.

And it's about a plane crash where these teenagers end up on a deserted island. We are stuck here. It's the 21st century. Okay, they will find us. My life is out there a million miles away. There was trauma. But being a teenage girl, that was the real living hell. It looks awesome.

It looks really cool. And we're so proud that this Kiwi actor is in the show. It's going to be massive. And she joins us over Zoom. Rana James, whereabouts in the world are you? I am in managed isolation in Auckland. Here you are in isolation. Oh, what's happened there?

I thought we've lost you. Oh, no, we're back on. Sorry, this is the fumbliest start to the interview ever. It's probably one of our best interviews, to be honest. Yeah, actually. And thank you for your time. Have a great day. So you're doing media all over the world right now

from your hotel room in isolation. I am. I am indeed. What's been the coolest question you've been asked? Because we'll ask that. Well, I don't know. I'm going to have to get to the end of this interview and hopefully it'll come up. Oh, right. You're banking on us to deliver the coolest question. Oh, shit, that's not going to happen.

Okay, all right. Here's my first question. Did you like making The Wilds? Oh, Grant, that's not a good question. That's a good question. That's a good question. What would you like me to answer? No, no, no.

I've seen the trailer. It looks amazing. But can you explain to people that haven't seen the trailer what the show's about? Yeah, it's a story about these eight young women who find themselves stranded on a deserted island. And it is kind of a story of relationships and survival. And the plane crashes on this deserted island,

but it all seems like everyone was meant to be there. That's the kind of the big thing, right? There's something going on. Yeah, there's a little, there's something going on in the background that you'll have to watch and figure out what that is. But yeah, there is a bit of a, like this place has been touched kind of a feeling.

And it was all filmed in West Auckland. So we're in the background of a lot of your shots as they're just burnout smoke and people drinking Codis. Yeah, absolutely. We had to clear a few of those off the beach when we arrived. Yeah, all of Piha and Bethels.

That's amazing. Do you think it's going to do good things or bad things for New Zealand tourism? Because obviously it looks amazing, but also the whole premise is getting away from the place you're in, which is New Zealand. Look, I think it'll do. I mean, I feel like it's a bit of a daredevil thing, right?

It's like these girls are getting attacked by all of this environment. So if you want a tough New Zealand West Coast experience, then the Wilds will sell it to you. Well, then if you want any tips on escaping anywhere, Ben escaped Masterton. He was trapped in Masterton for about... 18 years.

18 years, and he made a miraculous escape, didn't he? Yeah, got out there eventually. So was it kind of cool? Because obviously a cast of people from all over the world, was it cool to kind of bring them to New Zealand, you know, where obviously you're from, and to film a show that's going to be seen all over the world. Yeah, 100%.

I was the only New Zealander out of the core. Eight girls, the rest of them are from Canada and America and Australia. I got to brag and just, you know, drag people to different, you know, cafes, bars, beaches, just got to absolutely, yeah, I'm the biggest advocate for New Zealand. Everyone was really sick of me talking about how much I love it here. I did read one fact on IMDb. It says, one fact on the Wilds.

Some of the filming takes place at the West Wave Pool in Henderson, Auckland. Same venue where Jason Statham competed in the Commonwealth Games as a diver. I remember that. 1990. So that's an interesting fact. But can you give us one other interesting fact from the Wilds that we maybe could update on IMDb? I mean, it's not really, maybe I'm just learning this,

that the wilds, the sand that you see in the wilds is magnetic. If you take a magnet down to the beach in Piha, it magnets to stuff. We'll update that on IMDb. Okay, I'll do that now. There you go. Did they sterilise the pool at the West Wave Aquatic Centre before filming? I would like to meet them. Did they sterilise the pool at the Westwave Aquatic Centre before filming? I would like to think so.

I was in there maybe a week before you and you might have wanted to have just asked again. Yeah, I really hope we did. Yeah, a bit of chlorine, a bit of chlorine. Did they make you do anything crazy for this role? Because I was reading in the movie they were in before, The Changeover, the Margaret Mahi story with Lucy Lawless, you had to bungee jump. They made you bungee jump with your co-star. I mean, just to get to know each other. Look, I mean, it was very effective.

But, I mean, we just did karaoke, really. That was the only kind of bonding. Karaoke and escape rooms, that was a good challenge. Did you? We had to do it. We hosted a show for TVNZ, and we had to do an escape room together with our co-star. It's a great team. It can either

pull the team together or really drive the team apart, can't it? Yeah, it really does. It shows your true colours so immediately. You can't hide much. Ben, you know what Ben did? Ben went and did an escape room and then he went back with another group to the same escape room but just pretended he was very intelligent.

I didn't tell anyone I'd done it before and I'll be like, actually, guys, I think there's a combination here. And I was like, wow, you're so good. We're trying this. I had to be careful not to overplay my hand, but I was really getting quite involved. Was that the first time, obviously,

you played a role with American accent, I imagine? Yeah, it was the first time, so it was a bit daunting. Can I show you my American accent? Please. Yeah. Hi. How are you going today? This is offensive for everyone worldwide.

I'm offending multiple nations with one accent. Can you tell us why we should go see The Wilds on Amazon Prime? The first three episodes come up. Why should we see it? And you'd let me do that in an American accent? Yeah, tell us. Then in a French accent. No. Yeah, tell us. Then in a French accent.

Really interesting and really cool. And I think everybody will really enjoy it. That is good. Yeah, good. New Zealand's so proud of what you're doing, being in this massive show. It's going to be awesome, man. Thank you so much for hanging out with us this morning. Morning.

It's Jono and Ben on the Heads. Now, they're calling it V-Day in the UK. The people, some of the first in the world to get the vaccine for coronavirus. The first lady, she was 91 by the name of Margaret. The second person who got the vaccine, his name was William Shakespeare. He was in his 80s and he got the vaccine.

So they're rolling out 80,000 vaccines this week in the UK. Ben said both of them peacefully passed away straight afterwards. But at least they had the vaccine. That's the main thing. They didn't catch COVID though. That's the main thing. But I bet they had to wait those painful, arduous 20 minutes.

You hate that, eh? After you get a jab. Oh, there's no longer 20 minutes in your life. They are slow minutes. That's after a flu jab you sort of have to wait around 20 minutes.

Yeah, at the 16 minute mark I always sneak out of reception and you feel like a complete badass. I'd rather get the flu than wait those 20 minutes. Yeah, at the 16-minute mark, I always sneak out of reception and you feel like a complete badass. I'd rather get the flu than wait those 20 minutes, you know? But anyway, we're very excited that this is happening

because New Zealand will be getting it next year. They said March, they're sort of predicting, aren't they? But the Pfizer one happens in two stages, right? So I think they've got to get two shots, these people. Oh, right, yes. A month apart. Yes, I think so.

And then they reckon they're pretty much 90% immune to COVID. And it has to be stored in like minus 400 degrees or something. Doesn't it? I might have exaggerated that a little bit. Yeah, you did. But I think,

maybe not Pfizer, but maybe another one that I think we put our chips in with, I think does. Is that the, yeah, right. Okay, well, John and Ben lightly dust over

stuff they know about vaccines. Vaguely, vaguely. Please don't take any of that to the office and use that as gospel. There may not even be a vaccine. I don't know. Don't even take our word for it. But what we wanted to throw open this morning

is obviously William Shakespeare and Margaret. Margaret. The first people in the world Margaret Keenan to do something. Thank you. She'll appreciate her full name.

Margaret Mahi. Feels like she should have a name of a famous person. First person to do something. What were you the first person to do? Whether it was the first person to walk through a new building, first person to try a new burger at a fast food restaurant, first person to walk through a tunnel that's just opened. I would say I was probably the first person to ever crash their car twice in their own driveway, in different

driveways. Now, I might be wrong, but I would say not many people would have done that. You'd be hard-pressed to find someone who's crashed their car three times in their own driveway. And also, as a country, New Zealand, we're probably the first country to ever have a referendum about a flag change and then change it to the same flag. I mean, no other country's probably

spent millions on that. First to give women the right to vote? Yes. Oh, jeez, we're leading the on that. First to give women the right to vote? Yes, yeah. Oh, jeez, we're leading the way here. First to climb Everest. First to split the atom. Yeah, so if Ernest Rutherford wants to give us a call, he can do that, but if not... Quite handy, too, if Kate Shepard's listening as well, if she can text in 4487.

What were you the first to do? We'll get your calls and texts on next 0800, that's 4487. Suzanne, welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. How are you? G'day, how are Suzanne, welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. How are you? G'day, how are you? Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Good to have you on. We're talking firsts.

What were you the first to do? I was the first carpenter in South Australia, female carpenter. Then after I finished my apprenticeship, I became the first female within Australia to train and assess in my discipline. Wow, that's awesome. Ben doesn't understand anything of what

that job is. That's why he just said, wow. That's awesome. Neither do I, to be honest. I lost you on the second part. But that job, the second job sounded very important. Talking right now to a pioneer. Yeah, that's awesome. And while you're there,

I've got a leak in my roof. Do you do cash jobs? I don't have time to do cash jobs. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's what you all say. On the public record, you don't do cash jobs. I know what's really happening. Do you remember those ads for the building industry that would play

on radio and they're like, we're doing it. It's the inland revenue. We're doing an audit on all cash jobs with trades. So if you could please come forward honestly and admit that you've been taking cash jobs. And it's like, well, clearly you can't catch us. So why would I dob myself in? All above board, no judgment will be taken.

Well, congratulations on that awesome achievement, being the first to achieve that, Suzanne. Thank you. Good on you, mate. Lovely to talk with you. Lottie's on the phone from Wellington. How are you, Lottie? Hi.

Which I just found out Lottie is short for Charlotte. It is, but my name's actually just Lottie. Oh, your name's just Lottie. But I didn't realise it was short for Charlotte. I met a Lottie the other day and then Jim, my wife, was like, it's short for Charlotte. Oh, not in Lottie's case now, but it could be Charlotte. I met a Lottie the other day, and then Jim, my wife, was like, it's short for Charlotte. Oh, not in Lottie's case now, but it could be.

You're just all Lottie. You're L-O-T-T-I-E, Lottie. Yeah, that's the one. And what were you the first to do? What are you the first to do? I've broken down a couple of horses, so I'm the first person who gets to sit on their back and ride them around and stuff.

Oh, I thought you were going to say you broke their legs or something. Oh, no. That's cool. Wow, so first year, is it quite a daunting experience, you know, being the first person to ride a horse that you're like, is this, this could go either way? It can be,

because some of them are pretty crazy and can try and throw you off, and some of them are perfectly good. Have you been thrown off a horse or two? Many a times, yeah. Have you ever looked a gift horse in the mouth? Yeah, actually. Have you ever led a horse to water

and then made it drink? I have led a horse to water and it has actually drank. Oh, good. But you can't make it drink. That's on its own decision. You won't bully me to drink this water. And jeez, I'll tell you what, it would be quite nerve-wracking I imagine because you don't know the temperament.

Obviously you get to know the horse before you jump on its back, but you don't know how they're going to react to a human sitting on them. Yeah, pretty much. You've just got to hop on and hope, really. There must be a lot of trust that you develop through that process. Yeah, you work with them a lot on the ground first, so getting to know them, leading them around takes, and then, yeah.

How long do you have to ride them before you hand them over? Really depends how long it takes. Yeah, right. Now, another note here that producer Humphrey's put next to your name, you were the first person to be part of a

wound glue trial. I was born over in Northern Ireland and I cracked my head open on a TV and when I went into the hospital, they said,

hey, we've got this new glue, can we glue your head shut with it? My mum went, yeah, right. We're like, yeah, right, We're like, yeah, right. We're like, oh, yeah, it's an actual medical glue. We just got it from Hammer Hardware.

It's called Super Glue. Wow, and it worked fine? Yeah, it worked great. Well, your head hasn't split open since? No, it's a tiny scar. Yeah, it worked real well. There we go. Lottie, first person to break in horses and have her head glued.

That's awesome. Thank you for your time. I'll hold the line. We'll send you out something, Lottie. No worries, thank you. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. You know what really interested me about Ariana Grande

is I was watching Nick Jr. the other day by myself. And she's on a show called Victoria. I haven't advanced to Nick, not Jr., Nickelodeon. Yeah, I haven't advanced to Nick yet not Junior, Nickelodeon. Yeah, I haven't advanced to Nick yet. Full-blown Nickelodeon. But she played a character when she was in her teenage years on the show. And I don't know if this is her real voice or not. Hello, future me.

It's me, past you. I'm back! Yes, yes, just shut up and take my money. I don't know how long I could live with that voice. It's quite high, isn't it? But I don't know if she's putting it on or not. Well, yeah, it does sound like a very, yeah, unusual. Yeah, but she's a great actor, so maybe it is.

Yeah, the novelty of that voice would wear off. Actually, speaking of Christmas at home, I'm getting a little bit of a grief at home for something I've put up in the house, a bit of a decoration. Now, you know, like I like to put things on display in the lounge and I've talked about this before.

I've got some Toy Story figurines that get some heat up. Ninja Turtle figurines. Ninja Turtle figurines. I've got Deadpool figurines. I get it, you know, my wife Amanda's like, not for the lounge,

but I persist. You've got the Ben sign from the John O'Byrne TV show. Yeah, it's a neon sign. You can put that in the lounge. Is your lounge like a seven-year-old boy's bedroom? A little bit sometimes. But my wife Amanda was away up north over the weekend,

so I was home with the kids, and we were setting up the Christmas tree, and we've got a, in the garage, we've got a full-size dummy from the TV show, the John O'Ban TV show. Kevin. Kev. Yeah, we called him Kev,

and he did a lot of great work. He got run over, he got tackled. He fell off the hooker falls TV show. Kevin. Kev. Yeah, we called him Kev and he did a lot of great work. He got run over, he got tackled, he even... He fell off the hooker falls. That's right. Yeah, when we were up north, we threw him off...

On the truffles. It was up north. It was up in... Whanganau. Yeah. And it fell in the water and then we're like, we need to get this thing out

because the last thing you want is a dummy floating down the river. It's going to look a little bit sus. So we got him out. We got him back. We got him back. We checked him off buildings. I mean, if he was a human being, he'd be like, you guys are trying to kill me.

I'm pretty sure of it. But he keeps coming back. Yeah, and he lives in my garage now, this full-size dummy. So I thought, well, maybe I had a Santa uniform at home, a Santa outfit. And I was like, maybe I could dress up as Santa, put a Santa head on him. I also had a Santa mask.

And he's sitting in the corner holding a bag of, you know, like a bag like Santa with a sack. And I'm like, this is great. This looks great. This is festive.

This is, you know, forget about the creepy Santa in Auckland we all talked about on the farmer's building. This is the Santa you want to see. And I was like,

my wife's going to hate this but I'm going to put this in the lounge. But I'm going to do it anyway. You showed me a photo of it. Yeah. It looks like an office worker who went to a Christmas party and has slumped over at one o'clock in the morning. Yeah, because his life's photo of it. Yeah. It looks like an office worker who went to a Christmas party

and has slumped over at one o'clock in the morning. Yeah, because his wife's like... He looks deceased. Looking in the corner. As soon as my wife Amanda walked in, the kids and I were waiting for her to notice, she looked and she was like, no. That's all she said, no.

That was the reaction. And you're like, do you know how long it took me to dress this guy? It took you so long. It's really hard to dress someone else. I have to do it to you sometimes on a Friday night. You do. It takes you at least an hour and a half, doesn't it? Yeah.

Yeah, so did you have to remove it? Well, no, at the moment it's still in the corner, so I thought I might check it out. I was checking up on our social media, and we might do a poll on the hits breakfast on our social media, which you can head to on Instagram. Is it creepy or is it Christmassy? Because I'd like to know.

You need to bring this evidence home to a man. Yeah, I'd like to know. You're going to bring this evidence home to a man. Yeah, I'd like to know. Look at all these people I don't know who voted for me to keep this in our lounge. But if they say, be honest, if they say it's too creepy, get it out of the lounge, then I'll get it out of the lounge.

Okay, we'll have those poll results thanks to Colmar Brunton after 8 o'clock this morning. Does Ben keep this slumped over Santa? He's not even perched up properly. That's my problem with him. Okay, mate, sorry. It's like the beginning of Weekend at Bernie's.

You're like, uh-oh, our friend's died. We'd better dress him up and pretend for five weeks that he's still alive for some reason. Yeah, true. More painful than your alarm clock. It's Jodo and Ben on the hits. Bye. Thanks to Sharesies,

New Zealand's fastest-growing share platform. Shares made easy. Ladies and gentlemen, we present to you a collection of stories that won't even feature in the top 100 things you should care about today, but we'll talk about them regardless. Juliet, what's happening in Spy? So as a celebrity, you know, you kind of are getting papped all the time

any time you're out and about. Tell me about it. As you guys would know. Tell me about it. It's the bane of our existence. Papping all this, papping that, papping that.

I've never once been papped. No. I'd pay someone good money to follow me around. No one's going to be hanging out at the Pap U. I've never had a stalker. I want a stalker. Oh, no you don't.

Don't say that on the radio. A friendly one. No, well there's no, no, there's, yeah, anyway. We've got some pigeons that stalk your place. Yeah, that'll do.

But, um, so Dolly Parton says that because, well because she's obviously had a very long career, she says that she always has to stay makeup and hair ready pretty much 24-7, no longer 9 till 5, 12 till 12, baby. Just so like when she goes to bed, she's in a full face of makeup and her hair's done. Like doesn't she get bed hair? Well, probably. I mean, she probably takes it off just before she goes to bed, she's in a full face of makeup and her hair's done. Like, doesn't she get bed hair? Well, probably. I mean, she probably takes it off just before she goes to bed,

but she has her hair any time when there's daylight and probably night time she's ready. Because she says, you know, if there's an earthquake or if I have to get into an ambulance and I'm not prepared, people are going to be pepping me and I'm going to look like crap if I'm not done up. Oh, but to be fair, you know, Dolly, they might be more focused on the earthquake

and not me. There was an earthquake today and Dolly Parton looked like a bag of crap. Yeah. You don't have to obviously wear makeup. No.

That's obviously what makes her happy and what she wants to be seen like. But it makes people look better. Well, no. You should wear something.

A lot. I definitely need to You can't save this batted up old face Yeah no But some people prefer it and each to their own

Yeah I had a friend of mine and she preferred it and she would get up before when in the initial stages of the relationship she would get up

before her new partner Really? to go to the bathroom to put the makeup on just because she felt more comfortable wearing it at the early stages of the relationship

which you understand it's to their own whatever makes you feel good and that's what Dolly says she says I just do it for myself I don't do it for anyone else you know when do you give up

on that whole makeup regime of your friends like when do you start slowly fading out on that about the same time you stop worrying about how bad your breath smells first thing in the morning

you're probably better than that stage exactly and that's spy for more you can head to the hits.co.nz. Not a morning person? Sadly, neither of these two.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, you've made a note on the hits. We're playing a few Christmas songs getting into the Christmas spirit. And Skinny have endless data weekends at the moment so you can stream all your favourite music this silly season. So we thought because of that,

we wanted to know what the best Christmas song ever made was. And there's some great songs. Oh, there are, and I always wonder for a musician, you know, if it's less of a passion and more of an obligation to release a Christmas song. Except for Michael Bublé, who only comes out once a year like Santa. He's got four prime weeks of a year

to really cash in Bublé, doesn't he? It's his prime, this prime Bublé time. The other, from Jan through November, Bublé's sitting there twiddling his twincil. What's twincil? I think I was meant to say tincil. I don't know what you were meant to say. I said twincil.

Yeah. Twincil's down here anyway. On 0800 the Hits for 4487, we want to know the best Christmas song ever made. Because we're going to play it every day from now until Christmas once an hour. We're going to make sure you're sick of it by Christmas Day. And you can stream it on Skinny's Endless Data Weekends. There's a few

great Christmas songs. I mean Wham! Last Christmas is great and I think it was the first song ever written about re-gifting. I think they got the whole idea. I gave you my heart but the very next day you gave it away. It was a re-gift. The first ever re-gift.

I don't want your heart. Gross. I'm going to give it away to someone else. The water's leaking blood. I'll hand that over to my cousin. Everyone got the idea for re-gifting from that one. And another song I want to put in there as well. Band Aid, Do They Know It's Christmas.

A great charity song where they all got together singing for Africa. This was every celebrity on the face of the earth singing in this. Do we have that one around? Put you, Juliet. I of the earth singing in this. Do we have that one around? Put you to that. And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time. So you know one of the most Googled things around that song is, is there snow in Africa at Christmas time? And apparently there is always snow in Africa out Mount Kilimanjaro. The peaks of Mount Kilimanjaro.

High altitude. Yeah, there's always snow in Africa. So technically there's always. Technically that's incorrect, but a great song. I mean, that's the problem living in our part of the world, is a lot of these songs, they're sort of applicable to the weather conditions of the Northern Hemisphere. Yeah.

Aren't they? We're succumbed to what they're experiencing. Yeah, like snow and drinking eggnog and sitting around the fire and all that. But I went to a wonderful school performance on Friday afternoon and I think Kiwis have appropriated jingle bells. nog and sitting around the fire and all that. But I went to a wonderful school performance on Friday afternoon and I think we've, Kiwis have appropriated jingle bells. I don't know if this is okay in 2020.

But we've turned it into a New Zealand version. Rushing through the waves on a Kiwi Christmas day. Oh, the beach we go laughing all the way. Ha, ha, ha. I know the kids are about to learn this one as well.

I don't know if the original artist knows we've done a bastard knockoff of Jingle Bells. No, I tell them. Oh, and under the hits, 4487, what is the best Christmas song ever made? We've got lots of votes coming through. Yeah, yeah. Had another one here from Waimati. Let's head to Siobhan. Welcome.

You're on New Zealand's Breakfast. Siobhan, what is the best Christmas New Zealand's Breakfast, Siobhan. What is the best Christmas song, hands down, in your eyeballs? It has to be The Pogues, I reckon. Oh, the fairy tale?

Yeah. Shane McGowan, he's the singer from The Pogues, isn't he? I think he spent a large part of his career intoxicated just recording music.

I don't know if he knows he's written that song. He probably can't even remember the song that he wrote. That really does sum up Christmas, doesn't it? Yeah, The Pogues, it's a great one. All right, let's eat another call or text. Waikato, Steph, you're on. New Zealand's Breakfast, Morena, your favourite Christmas song. We're putting the votes up.

Kelly Clarkson, Underneath the Tree. Underneath the Tree. I've never heard that Christmas song. Yeah, she's very happy about it. Yeah, she's in the festive spirit. It's a good song. Yeah, Steph, you don't have to tell me it's a good song. It's a good song.

It's a bloody good song. You're a good song. Good on you, Steph. Thank you. Look after yourself. Have a good song. It's a bloody good song. You're a good song. Good on you, Steph. Thank you. Look after yourself. Have a good Christmas. I, uh, constant bugbear of mine is the world's

greatest Christmas album ever. Oh, yeah. And they've released eight volumes. I've got all eight volumes. Can we just stop recording Christmas songs? But then there's songs

like Kelly Clarkson and you're like, you haven't heard of that one. Well, that needs to be on that album now. Every year they keep putting out better Christmas songs but you've told me for eight incarnations of this album

that I've already had the best Christmas songs. We'll head to Hunter, our mate Hunter from the Skinny Care Centre. How are you, mate? I'm good. How are you guys? Yeah, we're doing well, buddy. Merry Christmas. You're locking in a Christmas song as your fave? Oh, hey, mate, I've got a fave that comes out every year.

What's that one? It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, the old Mickey B special, Michael Boobly. Oh, it's pretty good. Number one on the CD, too. Oh, number one.

It's a great song. Hunter, you and Jenny Boyce, Ben's mother. Oh, jeez. Weak at the knees for Boobly. Should like to take a Boobly bath with him. I will take that

as an invitation. Do you want to join the Bublé bath as well? Hunter, Jenny, Bublé. Bublé bath. Uncensored. That's pretty cool, Hunter, about the skinny endless data weekends as well. That's very exciting. That's very cool.

It means I can listen to Mickey B on repeat. Mickey B on repeat. Oh, you have a great Christmas with a friend, all right? Likewise, guys. Have a great day. Well, you'll need that endless data in that bubble bath. The soundtrack to your Christmas. What have I created there?

I'm feeling a little bit uncomfortable, but anyway. Associate the three people in the bath. It's hard to get three people in the bath, believe me. They're not designed. Lots of texts and calls coming through. It's so hard to pick a winner because lots have been voted, but this one

maybe has just scraped through. The Royal Guardsman Snoopy's Christmas. So let's play that for you right now. The best Christmas song maybe in the world. It might be on Jono's album. We'll play it right now. And don't forget Skinny's Endless Data Weekends. It's a thing happening right now.

It is the hits. Oh, Kahneman, you've come to say before me The news had come out in the First World War The bloody Red Baron was flying once more The Allied command ignored all of its men And called on Snoopy to do it again It was the night before Christmas, forty below When Snoopy went up in search of his foe Despite the red barren, fiercely they fought

With ice on his wings, Snoopy knew he was caught Christmas bells, those Christmas bells Rang up from the land Asking peace of all the world And goodwill to them The baron had Snoopy dead in his sights He reached for the trigger to pull it up tight Why he didn't shoot, well, we'll never know

Or was it the bells from the village below? Christmas bells, those Christmas bells Ringing through the land. Bringing peace to all the world, and goodwill to man. The Baron made Snoopy fly to the Rhine, and forced him to land behind the enemy lines. Snoopy was certain that this was the end When the Baron cried out Merry Christmas, mein Freund!

The Baron then offered a holiday toast And Snoopy, our our hero Saluted his host And then with a roar They were both on their way Each knowing they'd meet On some other day Christmas bells Those Christmas bells

Ringing through the land Bringing peace to all the world And goodwill to man Christmas bells, those Christmas bells Ringing through the land Bringing peace to all the world And the world tonight. Christmas bells, those Christmas bells. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, something really interesting just in the news today. Now, a batch in Ragland was bought in 1943 for $85.

$85 in 1943. It was bought by a respected astronomer. And he apparently, a year earlier, he paid twice the amount for the batch on a telescope. So he spent twice as much on the telescope as the batch. $160 on a telescope, $85 on his house. Yeah, and he didn't really think it was a bargain. No one really thought it was a bargain at the time.

The batch has remained largely unchanged. Now, fast forward eight decades. From 1943, that batch reckons it's going to be over a million dollars. The average price. Is the news headlines in Raglan, if it's not rags to riches? Oh, there's a crime upon punny newspaper headlines. If the article isn't rags to riches, please tell me it is. I don't think it is.

Oh, it needs to be. We need to call up the journalist and say, change the headline. Rags to riches. But it's all relative, isn't it? No, one of the headlines is Raglan Batch Brought for $85 Expected to Sell for Top Dollar.

Okay, more factual. That's basically the article. You're like, what's that all about? Oh, no, that's what that's about. Isn't it? But $85 back then was probably quite pricey His neighbours were like mate I paid 82 For this one

But now over a million dollars And I imagine it's been sold many times throughout the years Yeah it's a very long term investment What did you buy in the 40s Trust me in 2020 This will pay dividends This is going to be worth over a million dollars But that's incredible

None of us are going to be able to buy million dollars, but that's incredible, eh? Yeah, that is incredible. Ah, well, none of us are going to be able to buy a house now, though. Let's just sit in that misery. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, of course, it's summertime in New Zealand. We had the first weekend, official weekend of summer, about a week ago, right? Last weekend.

And everyone you talk to, is it just me? Everyone's like, oh, I just want to get dragged to the finish line. We were discussing yesterday, you know, how kids look forward to Christmas, adults look forward to work finishing. Yeah, that's the advent calendar

for adults. It's like how many days are you counting down until the end of knocking off work. My main concern is putting on another 5kgs to already the 5kgs I put in lockdown

and the previous 5kgs I put on last Christmas. Ben, don't hold your hands up. Look, aren't you happy? You look great. Oh, here he goes again. What? That's my major worry this Christmas. Right.

But it's summertime, and radio stations all over the country, they lay claim, don't they? It's a crowded market. They lay claim to this time of year. This is the flavour of summer. Flavour. Hot days and hot conversation.

It's Summer Talk on Newstalk ZB. From Long Bay to Kaiteritiri Beach, feel good in the sun this summer. Coast FM. Slip on the SPF 80 and turn up the stereo. Summer on Hodaki. A lot of summer stuff, eh? Too much summer stuff.

And so you're like, well, who owns summer out of all of them? There's too many people trying to lay claim to summer. And what we did is earlier this year, we laid claim to a part of the year that no radio station wants to be a part of. Yeah. They wanted to ignore it. But we want you to remember who dragged you through those bleak months. Yeah, that's right.

While you were enjoying summer and all those radio stations saying, oh, we're bringing you summer. Who was responsible for getting you through? June, July, August. Those miserable months.

We did. We did. That's right. The hits. Your official winter station. For years, commercial radio stations have claimed to be

your official summer station. Your summer radio station. But no station in the history of radio has ever claimed to be the official station of the most miserable time of year. Until now. The Hits is now officially your official winter station. But like Jono in a shower, it's wet and depressing. And we've got your back with the most depressing announcers.

That's the Hits. Here's some REM. Everybody hurts. Everybody hurts. The most depressing competitions and the most depressing listeners. Congratulations. You've won some catnip. Yay.

Here's REM. Everybody hurts. Everybody hurts. It's dark outside and even darker on the radio with your official winter station, The Hits. That's right, that was us. We were there through those months. We won't be going, look at us, summer, summer, summer. We know our place in the market.

That's right. It's the middle of the year, the time of year that no one wants. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Now, Ben, I've sort of been updating you on pigeon going

on around my household over the last few days. Oh, we're going back to this because it was quite a traumatic story you told the other day on radio about a pigeon. Oh, it didn't start traumatic. It sounded quite cute. The pigeon had made its way somehow into your daughter's bedroom. And I think we've got a replay of it.

Here's what happened. And I ran down to the room and perched inside a tiny little dollhouse is this massive pigeon. I put it in a nice towel. And then I was like, oh, what we'll do is we'll just place it on the deck. It's obviously not in the mood for flying at the moment. Right. Then the neighbor's cat came along and ate it. Oh, no.

Man, it was a bloodbath. Oh jeez. It was a massacre. I was like, turn away kids, turn away. This is the circle of life. It's the bits you don't

want to see. The bits you want to edit out of the circle of life. They didn't show you that in The Lion King. You don't want to think about that sort of stuff. It does happen unfortunately.

But see, I have just been, I've been feeding the birds. Guilty. I put breadcrumbs out for them. And they're descending on my house. They're like, oh, this is the guy, he feeds us. So I've got magpies around, like four magpies.

They're quite stalky, aren't they, magpies? Yeah, swoopy, swoopy. Sort of gang members of the bird world, aren't they? They've got an unfounded amount of arrogance about them, the magpies. Sometimes you're doing nothing and they just, you're like, I'm just walking. Look, I'm nowhere near a tree. I'm nowhere near anything. You're up there.

You're 20 metres in the air. Leave me alone. I'm no threat to you. But yeah, yesterday there was more pigeons obviously coming to pay their respects to the one who died previously. But what I noticed about pigeons is when they're walking, jeez, they must get sore necks.

They're all neck. They're all like back and forth and back. You don't need that to walk. If they take a step, their neck moves. If they take another step, their neck moves. Imagine if you did that as a human. You'd be like the coolest person on the street. No, but you'd be off to the chiropractor every two days.

Yeah. And I was thinking, I was thinking, giraffes, they're basically a neck with legs, aren't they, poor giraffes? Long, long neck. That is an inconvenient body. Out of any body in the animal world, what would you want to have? If you were going to have an animal's body,

oh, jeez, I don't know, you'd be really thrilled with that. Juliet always refers to me as a naked mole rat just a lumpy creasy and crevicey naked pink mole rat naked mole rat yeah what I always wonder

about birds though I mean who made up the whole if you get pooped on it's good luck someone who is highly embarrassed it's not good luck at all

because you've been pooped on you know oh it's good luck I mean it's nice to think there's good luck out of that but really I mean you've've had terrible luck. Maybe you need a bird pooing on you,

knocking over your drink bottle. Knocking over my drink bottle, talking about it. Yeah. No one ever enjoys, you're almost ashamed, aren't you, when you've been pooped on by a bird? It's not like you did it intentionally, but it's all, oh, yeah. Never had bad luck from not being pooped on by a bird.

My luck's just set at an even level. Yeah, like afterwards, it's not like you buy a lotto ticket and then suddenly you're the winner. You don't hear those stories on the news, do you? In fact, if Ben, I've just, while you've been talking, if Ben was an animal, he'd be like a little meerkat. Yes. Poking his head out the hole.

A little on edge. Yeah, he is. Moving quickly. What's over there? Moving quickly. What's over there? Always a little bit worried about what was coming in the round. Go back in my hole. Oh, yeah, no, back in it.

Oh, no, have a little. Oh, no. Yeah, no, I wouldn't be a meerkat. What are you guys up to? Huh? Huh? Huh? Just a little bit looking around.

They always seem a little bit on edge, don't they, the meerkats? A little bit like me. Just a little bit nervous about what's going on. I mean, God's like, you will be the most frightened furry little animal on the face of the earth. And that's how you'll spend your days.

Yeah, meerkat's very good. You're the naked rat, the naked mole rat and meerkat taking you through the morning. Wake up full of shame. Wake up with these guys. It's Jono and Ben

on the hits. Synchronise Odds-ers. It's a little game where we play where Jono and I try and synchronise an answer. We have three seconds to come up with basically the first thing pops into our head with a topic that producer Juliet gives us. And we see if we can answer the same.

And if we do, we take a prize off someone. Now, we had the Wild Twins who do shows for Discovery. Wild, Wild Twins. Yeah. If you're a fan of DJ Khaled, you'll appreciate that. I don't know if they are, but they might. DJ!

So they do shows for Discovery Channel here from New Zealand and they came in as identical twins. I can't even tell them apart. Every time they come in, I'm too afraid to call

one of them by their name because they look so identical. But we thought maybe they would be able to synchronise answers. They didn't disappoint. A brand of car. Toyota.

Oh, no! Let's go another one. Name for me an insect. Spider. How was that? We struggle with this game, right? But they were saying off-air, they were like, we sync up all the time as twins.

And there's always that unspoken thing. Well, not unspoken thing. We're speaking about it now. Don't speak about it. I'll stop speaking about it. No, it's unspoken. You've already said too much. So, let's welcome from Christchurch, Tanya.

How's the Garden City this morning? Hi, good, thanks. How are you? Oh, good. Sounding a little bit croaky. Tanya, you got that morning voice going on. What are you doing today? Today my daughter is doing her camp for the Duke of Edinburgh.

So yeah, dropping her off for that. So that's good. Does the Duke of Edinburgh. So, yeah, dropping her off for that. So that's good. Does the Duke of Edinburgh run a camp? Yeah, they have to do a camp for the bronze award and the silver award and the gold award. Wow. Yeah, part of it is an overnight camp.

Juliet's nodding her head as if she knows what Tanya's on about. Yeah, I did the bronze but that's as far as I went. It's kind of like a thing that you do a certain number of skills, a service, and then you do a camp and it's a bunch of things that you add to your CV, basically.

Oh, that's cool. Oh, there you go. Yeah, that's right. My son's doing the gold camp next week. Oh, my God. Yeah. Tell you what, you are raising some well-rounded individuals there, Tanya.

Yeah, I know. Well, Tanya, you've got some hell pizza. That is yours so far. But we might take it off you if John and I can synchronise an answer. So you just stay right there and we'll see if we can synchronise an answer. If not, the pizza's yours. Thank you. All right, name for me an international or local festival.

Rhythm of Vines. We did it, Tanya. Thank you for coming. Tell the Duke of Edinburgh about that one. Wow. We get so excited and then I feel disappointed that we've taken a prize off someone. Well, Tanya.

You know what's going to happen off air, but we're not going to talk about that. Well, we mention this every single time. You've always said too much about the twins. You're not allowed to say stuff about how Alec had a prize to Tanya off air. Okay, Tanya, you just hold there. Okay. And there's probably a 95%

chance Ben Boyce will send you guilt pizza. No, I can't say that. All right, you go right there, Tanya. Low in calories and low in laughs. It's Jono and Ben on my hips. Scrolling through your feed. Here is my dear friend and resident news hound

Benjamin Boyce, fresh from shoving his nose directly into the crotch of topical events, scrolling through your feed. Now, this is a really interesting story. Now, a retired Israeli general who ran Israel's national space security program for 30 years, so he's obviously got some credentials. He's claimed that humans have already made contact with aliens and they also have formed a galactic federation. So there's a lot of stuff going on, he reckons,

behind the scenes that we don't know about. And Donald Trump was on the verge of disclosing the existence of aliens to the world, but the galactic federation pressured him not to do it. So he hasn't done it. So this is coming from someone, as I said, who's got a lot of cred. I wouldn't be surprised if Donald Trump peeled off his orange skin and revealed a lizard with a five metre long tongue.

A lizard-like creature. You'd be like, well, that makes sense. Yeah, it does. It all adds up now. It does. It would almost be quite relieving, wouldn't it? Be satisfying. All the last four years, actually, okay.

All right, let's connect the dots. But Obama was asked about this, wasn't he, by Stephen Colbert, talk show host. Any UFOs? Did you ask about that? Certainly asked about it. And? Can't tell you. Sorry.

Okay. All right, I'll take that as a yes. Because if there were none, you'd say there was none, right? You just played your hand. So there are. Well, there's been a lot of talk, particularly in the US, middle America, of people being abducted by them. We spoke to a guy who claims him and his whole family were abducted by aliens.

They were driving along the road in the car. Boom, there was a massive light. They disappeared. When he woke up, all the people had shifted around the car. So his grandma, for example, was in the back left seat. She was now in the driver's seat. And a whole lot of people in that town reckon the same sort of thing happened to them.

It's part of a Netflix series as well. So yeah, who knows what's going on? Oh, you've turned all the audience. Oh no, this will be the galactic organisation. You've said too much. Keep turning. And it's been called V-Day, Vaccination Day in the UK. They started rolling out COVID-19 vaccinations.

About 80,000 doses are going to be administered this week. Firstly, to people over 80 and people working in essential services, such as medical professionals. And the first lady to get the vaccine was a 91 year old by the name of Margaret and she had this to say. I say go for it. Go for it because it's free and it's the best thing that's ever happened so do, please go for it. That's

all I say. If I can do it, well so can you. She passed away sadly after that. Rest in peace Margaret. Rest in peace Margaret Rest in peace And we would suggest Not getting the vaccine No

Does she know The world's media Were going to be there Because she Could have dressed up She has Christmas She had a Christmas I know

They had like Soup stains on it I just saw her They were She was in a wheelchair And they were sort of Walking down the corridor Of the hospital

The rest of the time Everyone was clapping And waving Second person This is really interesting The second person To get the vaccine in a wheelchair and they're sort of walking down the corridor of the hospital or the rest of the time and everyone was clapping and like waving. Second person, this is really interesting, the second person to get the vaccine in the UK,

his actual name was William Shakespeare. His actual name is that. COVID is not to be in his body. Again, he turned up in a dressing gown

and went to the hospital. Like you of all people. I know. The way you come to work most days. I should not throw stones. I should definitely not throw stones. All I'm saying is...

You know there's videos going out every day of this show. Yeah, I know. Just like them. There's videos going out every day. But the nurses could have helped them out. You know, they could have said, hey, just so you know, there's pretty much the entire world's media out there.

You might want to put on a blouse. Or maybe a tuxedo. Imagine if William Shakespeare came out in a tuxedo. They'd look quite good. Like starting your day with panda eyes. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. The A to Z of New Zealand. Something we do every day on the show is we call a different town or city in New Zealand.

We call one a day. We do it alphabetically and we're working our way around New Zealand. Tanaere is a small town in the Westland district of the west coast of the South Island. It's got only 483 people living there. And it's where they drink a beer and wash it down by

eating the glass afterwards. Where a deal is sealed with the shake of a hand followed by a loving throat punch. I imagine a handshake would be one of those ones where you're like, oh, that's painful. Too much. Too much handshake.

Now, the firmness of you got quite a good firm handshake. I like to keep my mid-firmness. Yeah, mid-firm. Yeah. Yeah, but it was always one of those things with Daddy. You've got to have a good handshake. Look the person in the eye. Give them a good handshake.

You don't want a watery one, like a soft one. But some people go, too much. Yes. Too much. Oh, too much. So I can't use this hand for three days now. Anyway, we won't get focused on that because we're heading down this path of the A to Z of New Zealand and we're going right now through to the pub

in Kaneere, where it's acceptable for a four and a half year old to drink. Morning, Teneri Hotel, Grant speaking. Is it Kaneere? Grant, is it? It is indeed. Welcome. Welcome, welcome. It's Jono and Ben from the Hits Radio Station.

We welcome you to our show. And would you like to welcome us to your hotel? Yeah, welcome to the Canary Show. So whereabouts in New Zealand are you? About five minutes inland from Hoka Tika. On the west coast, the beautiful west coast And what do you do there, mate? I run this little country pub

You're up early, you're up early in the pub Are people drinking already? No, not quite, this is the cleaning phase And all that sort of stuff I imagine cleaning up a pub would be An arduous task at times It can be I'm just looking online, what a beautiful spot you guys live in

It's an awesome spot, mate. Is it a lake? Oh no, we're not on the lake. That would be cool, but I don't think Doc will allow us to build things out there like that, which is a shame. But I'm very close to it. There's lakes and golf courses and West Coast Wilderness

Trail. Yeah, lots to do around here for sure. It looks like it's in the middle of nowhere. Well, no, we're not in the middle of nowhere. What's going on there, mate? Oh, that was my cell phone. Sorry, I just turned it off. Oh, that's all right. You sound like a pokey machine. You got the pokies there?

You know when you're cleaning out the toilets there, are you opting for the blue urinal cakes? No, not the blue urinal cakes, mate. No, they're... A thing of the blue urinal cakes? No, not the blue urinal cakes, mate. No, they're... A thing of the past, aren't they? Are they? Oh, the worst of all the birthday cakes, the urinal cakes. We like using bleach.

Bleach is the master killer of everything. Yeah, and it's quite bleak. You can bleach, you can get rid of anything, can't you? You pretty much can. Yeah. Now, listen, Graeme, what we're going to do with you on the West Coast this morning is we're going to get you to do an ad for your little slice of paradise. You just need to fill in the blanks, okay, mate?

Oh, here we go. Yeah, we've written half of it. You just, yeah, just the first thing that pops into your head when you fill in the blanks. Oh, God, here we go. Okay, welcome to the beautiful, tranquil... West Coast of New Zealand. When you come to visit, you simply must check out the...

Attractions, the forest, the walks, the mountain trails, the lakes, the sea, everything. And as the locals always say... She'll be right, mate. If you haven't visited this beautiful location, it will have you saying... I don't know. And once you've said that, this special place of paradise will have you uttering more words

like... Stunning, magnificent, awesome, beautiful rainforest. And once those words have left your mouth, believe it or not, further words will fall from your mouth. Scrumptious food, amazing tasty delights everywhere.

But be sure to pop in so the locals can tell you the town slogan. It's a cool little town. Oh, well done Grant. You did really well. I would have crumbled under that situation. There's some shaky moments there in the middle, but then you pulled it.

Oh yeah, well you know. Well done mate. Lovely to hear from you, and hopefully we'll get to meet you face-to-face one day and help you clean out the urinal case. Oh, that would be cool. Look after yourself. See you, mate.

Cheers, man. We apologise in advance. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Bye. Thanks to Sharesies, New Zealand's fastest-growing share platform. Shares made easy. Here is a celebrity news bulletin proudly brought to you by Anonymous Sources.

Anonymous Sources. If you say they're anonymous, you can literally make up anything. Here's Juliet with Spy. So do you guys remember the Tiger King series that just absolutely blew up as COVID was kind of hitting? Yeah, it was one of the biggest things of 2020. But now it feels like we've kind of not forgotten about it. I have. The year's been such a strange year. We've moved on now, right? It really has been. It seems like a decade ago of not forgotten about it. I have. The year's been such a strange year.

We've moved on now, right? It really has been. It seems like a decade ago that that show was big. But Joe Exotic, he's in jail, and he's been after a presidential pardon from Donald Trump for a lot of the year, basically trying to get out of jail. And now he's gone to Kim Kardashian to try to get him out of jail. Right.

Because she has done a lot of work for prison reform and, you know, helped, she's gone and met with Donald Trump before to help get people out of jail who probably shouldn't deserve jail time. They're unfairly incarcerated. Yeah, she's done, to her credit, done some great work there. Oh, she really has. She's a fully

fledged lawyer now, isn't she? I think she is a lawyer. She's working through it at the moment, yeah, which is awesome. Going to the bar? Yeah. That's what they say, isn't it? Yeah, that's what you say. I'm not a fully fledged lawyer now, isn't she? I think she is a lawyer. She's working through it at the moment, yeah, which is awesome. Going to the bar? Yeah. That's what they say, isn't it? Yeah, that's what you say. I'm not a fully fledged lawyer. But you do go to the bar. What Hilary Barry says,

but you're at the bar. But yeah, so he's now written her a handwritten letter basically saying, I'm asking you to please help by taking 10 minutes out of your life

and placing a call to President Trump. He then goes on to say he's lost, you know, 57 years of his work. He's been taken away from his husband. And then he makes quite a good point. Everyone is so busy making movies, getting interviews, selling stuff, and dressing

up like me that everyone kind of forgets I'm a real person. Locked in prison. Yeah. I did. Good point. I forgot about Joe Exotic. He almost feels like he's a character. Yeah. Yeah, like off his show, where he's actually he's a bit of a character but not in a way that's made up.

Yeah, exactly. So we'll see what happens there. I don't think Kim has said anything back but the handwritten letter, you can check the full thing out if you want online.

It's pretty detailed. My favourite thing to come out of Tiger King was Carole Baskin singing Happy Birthday. It's your birthday. We're going to party like it's your birthday. We're going to sit and party like It's your birthday. We're going to party like it's your birthday.

We're going to sip a cardi like it's your birthday. And you know we don't give a fudge that it's your birthday. Thanks, Mum and Dad. That's your favourite thing. That is my favourite thing. It's your birthday. We're going to sip a cardi. And we don't give a fudge.

Because they would have got their original lyrics and gone, oh, we can't say that. Can't say that, no. She doesn't have no worries about getting rid of her first husband, though. Allegedly, allegedly. I love it how Ben tags on allegedly. If it ever goes to court, he said allegedly, allegedly. He mumbled it after I said it.

And in other news, Madonna has done something for the very first time in her life. You guys have both done it. Was she like a something for the very first time in her life. You guys have both done it. Was she like a virgin for the very first time? No, but she got a tattoo for the very first time in her life. Inked for the very first time. What'd she get? I think it's the initials of all

her six kids on her wrist. I would have thought, yeah, Madonna has quite a wild past. You would have thought that would have been something she would have done. Like a tattoo on her lower back or something? Like a tribal tattoo? I'm just saying she seems like she's been quite forward in fashion since this. I'm surprised

she hasn't. I would have picked her to have a tattoo as well. Yeah, well there was rumours that Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern had a full back tattoo. Remember someone messaged us and they're like, she has got her entire back as covered. We asked her that. We asked her that she laughed she appreciated

but have we seen her back no I've never seen her back and it would be weird to ask to see her back next time she's in here yeah let's not do that

I think she's coming in next week so maybe that was the first question can we see your back let's not do that that sounds weird go subtly behind her and have a little creep down

she did appreciate I have a question for Clark as well, to verify. Yeah, but she did appreciate it. She's like, in fact, out of all the rumours, I want that one to keep going. It's good for street cred. Yeah, true, true. Makes her look even cooler.

Just like you guys with full back and sleeve tattoos. Those are regrettable decisions for us, let's be honest. How old's Madonna? I think she's 62. Oh yeah, good on her. Yeah. Good on her. Yeah, getting there and getting a first tattoo.

That's Spy for more. You can check out the hit store, Crowder NZ. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Hey, we're going to end the note on a good day. That's right. You just call us 0800 the hits.

You tell us why it's going to be a good day. We've got an early contender. Alicia, welcome from Auckland. Why is it going to be a good one for you? Hi. Well, I just finished my first year in high school. And, yeah, I'm going to be working on my musical that I'm doing. Oh, you're writing?

Oh, wow. Are you just spending your Christmas months writing a musical? No, I'm not writing a musical. I am musical. She's in a musical. Oh, sing us some musical stuff then. What? Hello, please don't put me on the spot like that.

Have you got anything you can sing us to take us out? Okay. Okay. I got the eye of the tiger Fire Wow, that's really good When you're famous

We'll keep playing this audio And be like Remember when we spoke to Alicia Hey Alicia, hold the line She got offended When I said she was writing a musical But she was singing in it We'll be going on the phone

And we have The wonderful James From Christchurch Why is it going to be A good one for you, James? I'm in my 50s today. Oh, happy birthday. And as Carol Baskin would say...

It's your birthday. We're going to party like it's your birthday. We're going to sit the party like it's your birthday. And you know we don't give a fudge that it's your birthday. What's the plan, James? What are you doing for it? Just chilling out. About to go and make some plasma on my birthday. What's the plan, James? What are you doing for it? Just chilling out. About to go and make

some plasma on my birthday. So, yeah, just chilling out. Otherwise, yeah. It's your birthday, but you're giving the presents of plasma. Yeah.

What a guy. What a guy. Happy birthday, James. Appreciate that. I always listen to that Carol Baskin thing and go, you know you could have done a retake.

But they were like, no, no, that's good enough. We'll put that out there. Have a wonderful day, James. Appreciate you listening, buddy. We'll wrap up our show now. We'll catch you guys tomorrow from six. We'll do it all again.

Have a wonderful day, New Zealand. Still got a second left. Okay, here we go. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys weekdays from six on The Hits and via the iHeartRadio app. Jono and Ben on The Hits Breakfast. Friends of Skinny.