Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - December 16 - Dr. Ashley Bloomfield, 2020 In Review, Our Show Christmas Song

Episode Date: December 15, 2020

Hello and welcome to 9 DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS! To pull back the curtain a bit, all year we've been trying to get Dr Ashley Bloomfield on the show to chat about his very intense year. We probably asked him/his people every two weeks! And FINALLY he had a spare moment to chat with us. The greatest Kiwi of 2020! So he joins us, as well as the winner of our TV show Dog Almighty. If you haven't watched it, we'll try to not spoil it for you in this blurb 😉 Jono also got stitched up by a charity worker outside his house, and Millenial Max moved house but it was possibly the shortest distance in the world, and we wanted to see if anyone could beat him! Enjoy the poddy!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Hi, Jono, this is the podcast. You like to say welcome to us on the podcast form?

Yeah. Yeah, it's great to have you with us. I notice here in this building we work with a lot of people. It's five levels. We've got sort of lawyers. What do you mean sort of lawyers? They're not quite lawyers. No, they're a bit shady to be honest. They're sort of lawyers, you know, but they're not quite. They're kind of lawyers that represent the underworld and they're in the underworld's pockets. No, I don't know what sort of lawyers they are, but they're probably going to sue my house now. They're like, you're about to find out

what sort of lawyers we are, buddy. Now, we've got lawyers upstairs. Sort of lawyers. Sort of lawyers. There's a company which sells high-end alcohol, I think. I've never been to that level. I think so, yeah. I keep wanting to get invited up to that floor,

so if they're listening to the podcast, hey, we're keen. Yeah, and they're sort of lawyers too. We're keen to come up and meet too. Yeah, but there's a building, what I'm trying to say of professional sorry if i throw you off track of professional people a building of professional people yeah and i've just realized so many people tuck their shirt in i have never tucked a shirt in you know casual like with a suit obviously i see you man you're wearing a shirt today. Have you ever just

tucked a shirt into a pair of chinos like a good old man? No, but then I noticed now that it's almost on trend. People like Chance the Rapper, Macklemore, people like that, it becomes a little, you know, like a thing that, you're right, it would be like your dad back in the day would tuck his shirt in.

Yeah. And I imagine it's, like throughout the day the shirt would come out and you'd have to be re-tucking in. I think if you're working for the sort of lawyers upstairs and you're wearing a business shirt, you'd probably be expected to tuck it in. I feel like that's the case. Yeah, the only time I tuck is when I've got a jacket over the top.

Oh, yeah. Like at a wedding or something. Yeah, yes. I've never seen you tuck. You're not a tucker. You're not a mother tucker. But if I was wearing a suit, you're right, I'd tuck in the shirt.

Take your shirt in now. Let me see what it looks like. Come over, because you're wearing a nice sort of blue collared shirt today. The collar's okay. I'll see if it looks good. I've got jeans on. Oh, actually, it's one of those things once you start, you're like, oh, this actually does feel nice.

Now walk over here. He's got black jeans on. He's got a belt, and he's got a blue shirt. And it actually suits you. He's like, I feel secure. My genitals have never felt more secure. I actually quite like it. It suits you.

I feel like he's putting my hands on my hips and telling me what to do. Like, I feel more powerful, because I never feel powerful at all I feel like I'm like, Briar, give me those notes on the podcast give me the stats on the podcast That looks good

Now Juju, come in here What do you think Ben looks like with a tucked in shirt? I've never seen him with a tucked in shirt We'll get your opinion, you're a fashionable person Juliet, what do you reckon? You look like a school teacher. That's not what he's going for. Or like a principal.

Like an old school principal. Like your dad. My dad, yeah. You look trendy. You look like you'd work in a city. I was saying to Jono that the tucking in of a shirt can be quite trendy these days. Yeah.

She's like, well, if it is... Chuck Rapper, people like that. I was saying to Jono that the tucking in of a shirt can be quite trendy these days. Yeah. It always sounds so old. Yeah, she's like, well, if it is. Chubb's rapper, people like that. I've noticed that. Who else? I think Macklemore. I think maybe Justin Bieber. Don't quote me on this, but I think Justin Bieber has sometimes worn a tucked in shirt from time to time recently.

Hey, but I feel like Juliet's like, well, if it was cool, you've just made it uncool. All right. Podcast. Here we go. When we started dabbing. Today on the show, we had the winner of Dog Almighty. It was the reality TV show that we were hosting. Spoiler alert.

It was a dog. Yeah. Yeah. And they were almighty. And they joined us in the studio and we kind of got the dog. We were playing with the dog behind the scenes before the interview started. And so during the interview there's a lot of barking. Fatal mistake.

Yeah, and also Dr Ashley Bloomfield. You know him? You know him? You love him? He'd be a tuck-in shirt sort of guy, wouldn't he? He would be able to pull it off. Yeah. Yep, you wouldn't look twice at him tucking in, so enjoy the podcast. Two dads just trying to fill some airtime. Some may say it's pointless, but the main thing is it fills

in some airtime for us. That is the main thing. John and Ben, breakfast on the hits. It's a charitable time of year, isn't it? I'm a charitable guy. Are you? Yeah. Oh, you paid for the pandas for a while, didn't you?

An automatic payment for saving the pandas. Direct debit, too. No, yeah. Hard to cancel a direct debit when the pandas are siphoning your bank account. I don't even know where in the world those pandas are. I don't even enjoy your $30 a month. I've paid for so much bamboo.

All the bamboo they could eat those pandas for at least three years. But anyway, yesterday there was a guy walking past my fence and I was just picking up a package that had been left there from a courier. And he was like, hey, how are you? And he sort of initiated the conversation as if we had known each other. Oh, like you knew each other. Okay. You're like, oh, g'day.

You're good at live banter, so you would have joined in. I'm happy to talk to a stranger or someone who I thought I knew. But then as you're having a conversation, it's like, oh, the weather, the time of year. We were talking about this yesterday. You've got your boxes that you need to tick. Oh, drag into the finish line. Where are you going on holiday?

When are you going back to work? What are you doing for Christmas Day? It's covered all the standard topics at this time of year. And as this conversation's happening, I'm going through, I don't know you. I do know you. I do know you. Did I know you from a previous life? And then I saw a clipboard.

A clipboard rises up. Now, we all know what a clipboard means. He's going to be a pain in the ass 100% of the time. And he's like, have you ever thought about donating to XYZ? And I'm like, you just, we just had a conversation. I didn't know this was leading to this. I found out you were going back to Te Awamutu for Christmas to see your family.

And that you're off to Rhythm and Vines for New Year. Like we covered topics. You tried, you set up a personal connection here. And then he flops out the charity card at the end of it. And he was like, oh, listen, I just need you to sign up to this thing. It's just, you know, once a month your payment comes out. You don't even have to think about it.

Don't even think about it. He made it sound so convenient. And I was like, listen, I can't actually do this. I'm really busy. I'm just at home because the kids finished school early. You're really busy, but you've just had a conversation with them. Like, Phantom, what are you doing in the holidays? He's like, you're clearly not busy.

You've just been asking me what I'm doing for New Year's. I was like, listen, I'm at home alone with the kids. My wife's still at work. And then he looked behind me. He's like, you mean that lady who's standing behind you looking out the window there? I was like, yeah. You're like, that's my mistress. He's like, you mean that lady who's standing behind you looking out the window there? I was like, yeah. You're like, that's my mistress.

Don't tell my wife. So now, listen, we've got to know each other over the last few minutes, buddy. We're going to keep this very harsh. And then you paid him in charity hush money. I signed up for five years. Experts in semi-accurate, half-remembered information. Vaguely no information but maybe not correct. Jono and Ben

New Zealand's breakfast on the hits. Now no one has been on our TV more than this man this year. He has been the face of guiding New Zealand through some tricky times and it's our privilege to have him on the show for the first time this year. Dr Ashley Bloomfield, thank you for your time. How are you?

I'm not too bad. How are you guys doing? We're good. So nice to talk to you. Can we Ashley Bloomfield, thank you for your time. How are you? I'm not too bad. How are you guys doing? Oh, we're good. So nice to talk to you. Can we just say seriously, thank you for everything you've done for New Zealand this year, guiding the country like you have. We were very lucky to be in New Zealand

and have someone like you. Well, I feel I'm lucky to be in New Zealand too. Got a fantastic team and I'm most impressed with how New Zealanders have responded. What a great team effort. I see. So humble. He's always pushing it off to someone else.

He didn't want the TV personality of the year. He won't even accept your accolades, Ben. That's how humble this man is. Has it been quite an unusual year, obviously putting the pandemic aside, but with your newfound fame, that must be quite interesting to adjust to, I imagine. Yeah, well, that's something I hadn't expected.

And I guess I think of it more as kind of recognition rather than fame. But, you know, one of the lovely things is I still get Kiwis coming up to me every day on the street. And to be honest, they're just incredibly grateful for what the team here has done, you know, just to look after New Zealanders. That's why we come to work every day. And most of the time that's not visible to the public, but it's been really visible this year.

So I'm just thrilled that we've been able to do a good job and Kiwis really do appreciate it. Oh, well, you have. You have done a marvellous job. And as a doctor, I always wondered, if there's something wrong with you, do you diagnose yourself or do you go to another doctor? Oh, if at all possible, I diagnose myself, of course,

because, you know, probably the worst patient's doctors. But fortunately, I've got a resident doctor at home, my wife. I call her the clever doctor. Way smarter than me. Oh, you're married to a doctor? Yeah. Oh, right. And does she charge you exorbitant rates? She's like, that's going to be $40 for the consultation. Make you wait 15 minutes? Yeah, no,

she's pretty good on that side of things. Now, yesterday, the government unveiled a sort of COVID plan for summer. If anyone has missed it, what's that all about? Well, look, the main thing here is just asking people to keep vigilant. You know, we're in this really privileged position coming into summer. We're all looking forward to a break. I certainly am getting out and hitting the road, doing the New Zealand roadie.

But we've just got to keep vigilant, keep doing the things we need to do. Main thing is don't go out if you're unwell. Use the app when you do go out and about, and if you're unwell, have a test. That's it. But, you know, just keep that in mind as you go out and enjoy summer. Because, you know, it's usually slip, slop, slap,

but now it's scan, slip, slop, slap. That's the one. Don't forget that sunblock, though. We can't have, you know, anyone getting sunburned out there. Look, we're hoping we get a bit of sun. That's the first thing. But when you are out and about, yeah, use the app, do the scanning,

look after each other. People will be looking around the world and seeing what's happening in other countries and we want to just avoid that. Let's not take the risk. Because I know you said you have a contingency plan if you're away and worst case scenario, the country goes into lockdown.

Say, for example, I'm at a camping ground. I'm only there, I'm booked in for four days and the country goes into lockdown. Are we going to be given a sort of a 24-hour period to get back to our houses? Well, if you think about when we did the lockdown earlier in the year in March, there was several days for people to get back home

and of course that would have to happen. We're not expecting a big outbreak. That's the key thing here. We've got really good tight border controls. Our border staff are doing a fantastic job and they're all being tested either weekly or every fortnight, putting themselves through that. I don't know if you've had one of the swabs, but

it's not something I'd be lining up for. So we've got a lot to thank them for. That's the main thing. But, you know, just make your plans. We always have to adapt if needs be. We've done that before. So enjoy the summer is the key message. All right, Dr Ashley Bloomfield, quickly before you go, we want to play a game.

It's called Doctor Who. Now, we're going to play you some snippets because you're a doctor, so you must know all the doctors. We're going to play you some snippets of some famous doctors. I'm here for COVID updates. Well, we've got a quirky game, Ash. Yeah, go for it. Go for it.

He wants to play. Hey, he wants to relax. Let's quickly get to it, Johnno. He's busy. Okay, here's the first doctor. You've got for it. Go for it. He wants to play. He wants to relax. Okay, here's the first doctor. You've got to tell us who it is. Doctor Who with Ashley Bloomfield. Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use pop tarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon. A fictitious

doctor from a TV show? Yeah, yeah. Doctor maybe from The Simpsons? Yes! Doctor Nick from The Simpsons. Well done. Dr. Nick Revere. See, this is the most fun Ashley's had all year. He's like, I've just had to read out COVID stats. Okay, our next doctor.

I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with fricking laser beams attached to their heads. Oh, mate, you got me there. No idea who that is. Dr. Evil. Oh, right, of course Evil Dr. Ashley Bloomfield We really do appreciate your time this morning

And everything you do for New Zealand So stay safe over summer And we'll hope to catch up with you soon Cheers, have a good one guys She's here to rush off We didn't even get to Dr. Dre Didn't even get to Dr. Chris Warner Well he's quite busy

I felt like that was enough I had a couple more And you kept doing the helicopter Wrap him up, wrap him up Dr. Ashley Bloomfield, he's busy. I mean, no, no. As much as I was enjoying the game and he was enjoying it, it was just like, hey, he's got some money.

It was only two, though. You know, he doesn't even, yeah. Anyway, we'll finish it off next time we talk to him. Part two of Doctor Who with Ashley Bloomfield will come in 2021. From stealing Mike Hosking's car to stealing the hearts of New Zealand. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the hits. Actual hearts be not bestowed. We're looking for New Zealand's shortest move.

It's based around the Millennial Max. We haven't told you yet how far that you move. Now, Millennial Max is with us right now. Not very far. We're not going to say exactly. No. Not very far. It took a day?

It took a day for it, no? Yeah, the entire day. Because Boss Todd was like, it's not going to take an entire day. I took a day for it, no? Yep, the entire day. Because Boss Todd was like, it's not going to take an entire day. I took a day off work. Yeah, I know. I wasn't here for the show. So if you think you have New Zealand's shortest move,

0800 the hits, 4487 on the text. We'll go to Fiona. Welcome, you're in Auckland. Where did you move from and where did you move to? It wasn't me. It was my neighbours. They moved literally next door. Oh, right. So they could

carry all this. They didn't even need movers. They could just literally transfer everything over the fence. Yep. And they only lived there for six months. So meterage, how far are we talking? Sort of 25 metres? Probably even less than that. Right. Oh, jeez. From one house

to the next. That's a pretty short move. Okay, Fiona, the shortest move. She knows of the shortest move. Let's see. What was the reason? What was the reason for the move? What was the reason? Because they do houses up and then flip them,

and they hadn't found the next house that they wanted to flip, but then they'd sold the house that they were in, and the house next door came up. So they went, okay, we'll move that. Yeah, so they literally moved there for six months until they found the next house. Oh, well, Millennial Max, he moved from one place that he's never going to be able to afford to buy, because the housing market, into another place that he's never going to be able to afford to buy, because you housing market, into another place that he's never going to be able to afford to buy because you're renting, right? Correct.

So this was because of a sale you had to move out? Yeah, they sold our place. We would have been quite happy to stay there. They sold it and... You were forced to move? We were forced to move. We were forced to be homeless. In almost a comical amount of meterage

away from where you were currently living. We'll go to Stern and Kitty Kitty. Welcome. How are you? Shortest moves? Hey, you have New Zealand's best radio host. How are we going? Thank you.

This sounds like... You know what show you've rung up? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think so. This isn't the right one. This isn't asking. Stern, New Zealand's shortest move. Oh, well, I think Fiona beats me by a long way, but I built my parents' house this year,

literally from 171, road number, to 172, so just directly in front of us. Across the road. Oh, wow, just one number away. Okay, still, I think Max might be a bit closer than just... Maybe. That's pretty impressive, though, Stern. Are you going to have a wonderful Christmas

and thank you for your North Korean-style propaganda at the beginning of this phone call? No problem, boy. Love your work. We'll go to Will. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast, Will. Shortest moves, what have you got? Three houses down, 400 metres down the road.

400 metres. Now, is it worth calling in the movers for that? Because it's kind of a little bit of an inconvenient distance no I didn't call the mover what we did is at midnight when the road was clear because it's quite a busy road we chucked the bed bases on the

roof, put the hazard lights on and walked it down with the bed bases on the roof nothing tying it down you know the couches are quite heavy so what we did was we flipped that. We had some old go-kart wheels in the garage, and we actually rode the couch 400 metres down the road. Rode the couch.

I love it. In New Zealand, you can just put your hazards on, and it forgives you for everything on the road. You can park anywhere. We've talked about this before. We have the hazard lights on. You just put them on and park anywhere. Park on top of a roundabout.

I've got the hazards on, mate. You can do anything. Just park in the middle of the motorway. I don't know if that's the rules. Hazards are on, but it feels them on and park anywhere. Park on top of a roundabout. I've got the hazards on, mate. Don't do anything. Stop parking in the middle of the motorway. I don't know if that's the rules. But it feels like everyone thinks that's the rules. You're forgiven. You're forgiven with this. And you're also forgiven too when you cut in front of someone and you put your hazards on. Everyone's like, oh, he's put the hazards on. All's forgiven.

That's really impressive, Will. You go and have a great Christmas, mate. Thank you, you too. Cheers for listening, buddy. Alright, Millennial Max. How far was the move? 15 metres. 15 metres. So you went from one apartment to the other, basically opposite each other

on the same corridor, right? Directly opposite each other basically on the same corridor 15 metres across. It took you all day! We've just got a lot of I've worked out that I'm officially a hoarder Oh really? It's amazing the amount of stuff you can cram in, right? We currently have a room that is just crap. Like, there is just suitcases, there's junk everywhere,

and I've made little holes in the ground that I can jump across to get to the other side of the room. You know, you've got a problem when you're having to make holes as a pathway through your house. Ben and Jono call this show Jono and Ben. Breakfast on the hips. Oh, we're on, we're on. I've never beaten you.

We're on. The song's finished. Ben's just playing tug-of-war with the Dog Almighty, the first ever Dog Almighty 2020 champion, Cruz. Wow. We've got Cruz and Hayley with us in the studio. Now, one of our favourite things to do on Dog Almighty Was play tug of war with Cruz

Yeah he does love a good tug of war And now once you get him started though He just wants to keep going Like he's coming back now with his toy Yeah once it starts it never stops His cardio system's just phenomenal isn't it It's a step or two above mine I've only been tugging him for 20 seconds or so

Yes it never ends with him. No. How do you stop it? You just have to not start it. Yeah, we've started it now. We've bound him up. It was a bad time to start at the beginning of an interview, which is going to be brought to you by a soundtrack of the winning dog

from Dog Almighty. Hayley, you must be ecstatic. Oh, it's a crazy experience. Like, it still feels so surreal. I don't know how much the audience can hear of this interview. Well, this is like doing Dog Almighty was one of those shows where you had a soundtrack of dogs barking through the whole thing. Yeah, dogs don't know when they need to be quiet.

No. No, you've started the fun with them now, so no one would stop. It seemed to me like all the way through, you might have deep down known that you could have taken this competition out. Was that true? Yeah, like I knew Cruz had amazing ability and had all the skills, so it just depended like what would play to our favour on the day and if he could actually do it.

The thing I love about Cruz, I mean, not just a super intelligent dog, but it was like he just, as soon as he'd done the doggy dome or whatever it is, he just wanted to go play. He had so much energy and just wanted to keep doing stuff. Like now, he just wants to keep playing. Incredible job. What sort of things can crews do? Because it's so incredible just seeing what you taught him

to put down a toaster, turn on a light, play a piano. Not just that, but also... Did he drive you here this morning? I wish. It would have made traffic more bearable. Have you taught him other tricks? Yeah, he knows lots of things, but he didn't actually know many tricks before the show started,

so a lot of it was only taught in the months coming up to the show. So, yeah, he just picks anything up so quickly, and I feel like I could teach him anything. You guys, your family have obviously spent a long time, a lot of time with Cruise over the years, sort of doing stuff, taking him to competitions. Yeah, so Cruz is like officially dad's dog, but all our dogs are kind of family dogs. So yeah, we get shed amongst all of us.

So a life-changing amount of money. What does 100 grand mean to you? Oh, it means a lot. It's just such a massive head start into life. You know, we can finally afford a house and whatnot. So, yeah, that's pretty cool. Has it been hard not to say anything to anyone? Because obviously we filmed this kind of in between the lockdowns.

So it's been, Cruz is like, I haven't said anything to anyone. But it must have been hard, you know, to not say anything as the series has been playing out on TV. Yeah, it's been pretty difficult. But at the same time, like, because no one actually knew about the show, so no one asked questions. But it wasn't until it started airing difficult, but at the same time, because no one actually knew about the show, so no one asked questions, but it wasn't until it started airing that I got all the questions. Yeah, and you're like, oh, this is hard.

It was hard to keep a secret. I'm shocking. You know, you can vouch for me. Yeah, I didn't tell anyone. Not my wife, not my kids. I was like, no, can't tell anyone. I told my mum and dad. They told someone, and no one's seen my mum and dad.

That's what happens. I was scared of the thing that made you sign for the TV show. I was like, well, you can't tell anyone. But no, this is great. So you're going to use the cash to get into the housing on the ladder? Yes, hopefully. We've got that offer accepted. So hopefully that plays out.

Well, well done. So deserved. And it was a wonderful experience getting to know everyone. I'm sure you've made some friends for life through this journey. Yes, we're all really good friends still now. That's really cool. Do you think Cruz ever once knew he was on a competition on TV? Because he just seemed like he was just pretty chill,

just happy the whole time, just running around. Even now, you know, he just wants to play with the toy. No, I don't think he really understands anything. He just knows everyone's looking at him and he loves to show off. It's the only competition on television where the competitors don't even know they're competing. Yeah, yeah. He loves to show off. It's the only competition on television where the competitors don't even know they're competing. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, well, Hayley and Cruz, the world's first ever dog almighty champions. We'll just see. Let's go for the microphone. And I'll shake it out with a nice post-match comment from Cruz. What do you say, Cruz? Yeah, I'm pretty stoked. That cash means a lot to me.

Oh, now he's biting the microphone. So golf. Okay, now he's attacking the microphone. We'll wrap this up. Hayley Cruz, congratulations. Congratulations. Happy beer, guys. It was awesome. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook.

Just reading an article on the most popular names in 2020 and no real surprises apart from the fact that I thought Tiger has seen a rise in popularity this year as a name because they reckon the Netflix hit Tiger King. What a wonderful thing to be named after. What a lovely tribute not only to the cast of the Tiger King and to your newborn baby. What are you named after?

Oh, well, I'll play you this documentary. What? How screwed up are you? It was quite big in 2020. Name your kid. You know, you've had to name a couple. I've had to name a couple. You know, it's actually really tricky, you know,

because obviously it goes without saying, but it is with them for life. So there's a lot of pressure, I felt, on naming someone. Yeah, and there's names. Famous people really have, in some cases, Yeah, and there's names, famous people really have, in some cases, done great branding for certain names and in other cases, you're tarnished names. Yeah.

I mean, you're not going to name a child Bill Cosby nowadays, are you? No, you're right. Our friend of ours, Andy, his friends, they're having a baby soon and they were like, well, can you come up with some, here's some names we're thinking of can you come up with ways if you were at school hypothetically how could you pick on this kid

because of the names and they ran through all those options just so they were like these names feel clear of you know anything he's like the bully checklist so he's like

okay I could call that kid I don't know twig legs or something I don't know we don't know what the kid looks like you can't no true no twig legs or something. I don't know. We don't know what the kid looks like. You can't. No, true.

No. Twig legs. Sorry, that was a shock. It was all based on name stuff. I was like, really, do you need to go to that level of? Yeah. But anyway, so what he would do is he would. He'd go, hey, twig legs.

What? Why are you calling me twig legs? My legs are well defined. I don't know. He could have twig legs no but they would run names past Andy and he would in his head go

okay you could join the first name with the last name and make a mockery name or this email could be a joke email so he was the bully police for the child

so essentially he's bullying an unborn baby seeing how bullyable it seems shocking really when you think about it. Nothing funnier than bullying a baby. We had a family friend

when we were naming, we wanted to call, we were like, well, we were thinking about Indy as a name, and the family friend was like, no, you can't. Why not? What if she's in a boardroom? What if she's in a board meeting? There was a bit of concern that if they were in a board meeting, that it wouldn't come across

professional enough to close the deal. Well, you've always got to think of it. The name Indy. Yeah, it's closed the deal. You've always got to think about your babies in boardrooms. Now, this little baby with a soiled nappy, one day we'll be in a boardroom. Yeah, they've got to go to the board meeting. Maybe that's why I haven't closed too many deals, you know, at a board meeting.

Ben is not, you know, it's not really, maybe not a board meeting really name. No, it's not a board meeting name. I mean, Benjamin's my official name, but no one ever really calls me that, apart from when I'm in trouble with mum. I mean, no guy called Jono's closing any big deals in a boardroom. I'll bring Jono in the closer. Twig legs. Sign up with me.

Oh, he's bullied me. He gets the deal. I mean, to be honest, is Juju either? No, not at all. Juliet, though, is pretty professional. My middle names are quite formal as well. It's Elizabeth Clare. I'm like, they're so royal and so proper. Juliet would run a company. No way!

Yeah, no, you could. God, no, I'm too mature for that. But I don't think it matters anymore. Like, it doesn't, you know, like, it doesn't matter at all. I know, I mean, in ten years, there's going to be a... A tiger running the bar. Like, it doesn't, you know, like, it doesn't matter at all. I know, I mean, in 10 years, there's going to be a... A tiger running. Yeah. Tiger, what do you think?

Well, Apple, that's a very good point you raised. Should we invest all the stocks over their sugar tits? What did you say there? What did you say there? That one got past the bully checklist. Yeah. They're proud of New Zealand. Go New Zealand.

If only New Zealand was proud of them. Jono and Ben of New Zealand. Woo! Go New Zealand! If only New Zealand was proud of them. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the hits. This is Merry Quizmas. It's like Merry Christmas except you say it with a lisp.

But it ties in beautifully, this pun, to a game we're playing where I would say this is the only game on radio providing you a Christmas quiz associated with hair-related accessories.

Oh, yeah, but what a great prize. A GHD Wish Upon a Star Limited Edition Platinum Plus Gift Set. Recommended retail price. You want that? He loves giving out the RRPs. I don't know why, but he's really fixated on the recommended retail price. $95 is what it costs. Is that GSD inclusive?

Oh, I think so, but I don't know. I'll do a bit more digging around with that. But it's available online or in a salon now. You can get the full range at ghdhair.com.nz. But right now, three out of five questions is what you need to get right to win that. Julie, those are the rules. How are you feeling in Stratford about it?

Oh, really good. Oh, fantastic. Julie, those are the rules. How are you feeling in Stratford about it? Oh, really good. Oh, fantastic. Christmas, looking forward to it? Still quite busy with work and things, so I haven't had too much of a chance to think about it. Oh, have you done your present shopping? Yes, on Sunday. Oh, God.

Yeah, so hard to juggle between work and family life and get presents, right? Yeah, it is. I don't know why it has to become unreasonably busy the couple of weeks leading into Christmas. It does, it is. I don't know why it has to become unreasonably busy the couple of weeks leading into Christmas. It's crazy. So much stuff on. Yeah. Like, why can't we do this next

year? Yeah, you're right. Alright, so you've got to get three out of the five questions correct. Here's your first Christmas question. In the night before Christmas, not a creature was stirring, not even a... Not even a... Stirring.

Oh, damn. You know what I'm going to put this down to, Julie? I'm going to put this down to Ben's shoddy question. What? Shoddy question. Impossible to answer. Not a creature was stirring, not even a... Mouse. No, mouse is what we wanted. Oh, okay. None from one so far, J even a mouse. A mouse is what we wanted.

Oh, okay. None from one so far, Jules. Okay. Santa lives in what pole? The North Pole, the South Pole, or Holy Polly, Jono's favourite late night venue? North Pole. Okay. Hey, I wrote that question.

It was meant to say Ben's favourite late night venue. I was going to burn myself with that. Well, well done. You got one correct. In 1886, the French gave the US a Christmas present. What was it? Was it a giant novelty croissant, a big sloppy French kiss, or the Statue of Liberty?

French kiss. Oh, no. It was the Statue of Liberty. The French coming over to the Statue of Liberty. Where, where? Well, they might have. Please, we'll teach you a new technique. Open up your mouth.

Something's coming in. You'd think it would be something to do with Christmas. Oh, yeah, true. Please, we'll teach you a new technique. Open up your mouth. Something's coming in. You'd think it would be something to do with Christmas. Oh, yeah, true. You're right. Statue of Liberty, an unusual, yeah. I didn't realise they had a smaller miniature Statue of Liberty in Paris. Yeah. There's a few of them around the place, actually.

Okay, so where are we at? We've got one more right so far. You've got to get two more right. Which green Christmas character did Jim Carrey play in the 2000 Christmas movie? Not a very nice Christmas character. The Grinch. That's right. All right, one more.

This is the final question too. No pressure here. Traditionally, Christmas celebrates what? The birth of Jesus Christ, another tense day with extended family arguing over grandma's will, or adding two waist sizes to your trousers? The birth of Jesus Christ. Well done. There's a couple of hairy moments there. But I tell you, speaking

of hair, yours is going to look fantastic. Your hairy moments. A GHD is coming your way, alright? Great, thanks so much. No worries, you enjoy that. Will do. Paid to talk words and stuff into a microphone. It's New Zealand's breakfast.

Jono and Pam on the hits. Bye. Thanks to Sharesies, New Zealand's fastest growing share platform. Shares made easy. All she wants for Christmas is a celebrity sex scandal, so she can talk about it on the radio. Juliet, what's happening in Spy? Dakota Johnson and Chris Martin

are rumoured to be engaged. Dakota Johnson was out shopping, Christmas shopping, doing the annual task of Christmas shopping, and she was spotted with a very very big emerald ring on her wedding finger. So everyone's like, ooh, are they engaged? They've been dating for about two or three years. Now refresh my rusty

memory. Dakota Johnson's Fifty Shades of Grey. Yes, she's's Fifty Shades of Grey. Yes, yes. She's in Fifty Shades of Grey and Chris Martin is lead singer of Coldplay. Ben, did you watch that movie with your mum? What?

Or was that a joke? I think it was a joke. I can't remember what's fact or fiction and all the stuff we spout off. I think we did it as a joke. We were singing

Razine Colour Chart and we were like, oh, that's an unusual way to see it, so yeah. I like Stonewashed Grey, thank you. Jenny, what do you like? Dakota Johnson, like oh that's an unusual way to see it so yeah I like stonewashed grey thank you Jenny what do you like Dakota Johnson yeah that's right

daughter of Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith Don Johnson was an actor yeah and Melanie Griffith as well so yeah some very famous parents I thought that was the case

just quickly googled yeah that's interesting she had that really awkward encounter with Ellen DeGeneres on their show oh evil

this is before before Ellen This is before Ellen. This is before. Okay, that's why she's got COVID. We can't say anything bad. Yeah, but when Ellen's like, oh, you had your birthday party. Why didn't you invite me? And she's like, no, I did. I reached out to your people and I invited you.

It was like, oh. Ellen was getting all salty she wasn't invited, but yeah, she'd actually been invited. Invited, yeah. And that same weekend, she was in a corporate box with George W. Bush, wasn't she? That's right. People worked out. That's what she was doing

rather than go to the party. Oh, wow. Ellen may not even have known about the party. True. But yeah, that's what she was doing the same way.

Yeah, she might not have known about it, but she definitely went in on her about not being invited. But oh, that's interesting. So they're engaged. Who even knew they were together? Well, they've been together

since I think it was kind of... Oh, you did. Yeah, well, I did. Well, I did. Yeah, no, I did, yeah. Ben did as well. I think they broke up for a small period of time, but yeah,

but they've been together for a few years now. He seems like a lovely gentleman, Chris Martin, doesn't he? A quaint British gentleman. Yes, and his ex is Gwyneth Paltrow. They have Apple

and Moses together. Do you remember? Do you remember that? Yeah, I remember they were together. That's who I thought he was still with, to be honest. They talked about him fondly at the Edge, Chris Martin,

because when he came to New Zealand, this is when we were working at the Edge radio station, and when he came to New Zealand, he pretty much just rang up and said, I'm keen to do an interview. Do you guys want to talk to me? Really? Yeah.

They're like, sorry, mate, we're busy. We're playing bedpost jingles. And then he walked from the middle of town, just by himself, walked all the way up towards the Edge radio station. Wow. Just by himself, hung out, did the interview, played a song, and then he left.

I wanted to do that for us. That's pretty cool. Yeah. Just calling a radio station. That is cool. Yeah, so that's a cool story. And he's such an unassuming chap, I imagine. You'd walk straight past him and not even know it was Chris Martin.

Yeah, exactly. And the One Direction hair stylist has spoken about what it was like touring with them when they were still together. Their hair looked amazing through those years as well. Especially Harry Styles. Good hair. Anyway, she said that the boys would all have very fleeting relationships with the women

that were working around them throughout their whole time together. But then things would get awkward because the girls would get attached to the boys because they were the biggest pop stars at the time. And then the boys would then have to sort of let the girls go because they just got too attached. They were working with them, they'd had these relations,

but then the boys would move on and it all became awkward. So the hairstylist was like, if you want to lose your job while you're with One Direction, get into a relationship with them and then you'll be let go. It would be awkward, wouldn't it? Because I imagine they were young gentlemen. Yes. With a certain level of celebrity that they were probably wanting to share around.

And if one night Harry Styles, he's looking me in the eyes. He's taking me for a romantic dinner. I was with Harry last night. No, he took me out. It would cause friction. I understand that. Yeah, exactly. And sometimes the girls would walk in and see the boys with a new girl

because they worked with them. So it just got all very awkward. I would become enraged. Although, Juliet, would you be risking to lose a job for one night with Harry Styles? Oh, yes. A romantic evening, a dinner, a movie? Oh, my gosh. Even you saying that, I'm like, oh, my gosh.

She's like resigning from this job. Mid-show, you just walk out of here like, oh, yeah. Okay, yeah. I know that's good. At least we know the rules, my God. She's like resigning from this job. You just walk out of here like, oh, yeah. Okay, yeah. I know that's good. At least we know the rules, the parameters. My priorities. And that's five more. You can check out the hits.co.nz.

Real Kiwi blokes with soy lattes. Mmm. Shono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. Now, we're getting into the Christmas spirit. It's only about nine days away, Christmas. And what we've noticed playing Christmas songs every day here on The Hits is there are a lot of versions of Santa Claus is Coming to Town. Incredible amount of versions.

This song has been recorded by the Who's Who of music, apart from the Who, who didn't do a version. The band. I actually looked at that, and they should have, because they're the Who's Who. But the biggest names in music have all done a version of this. Even some of the worst names in music, even some names you've never even heard of.

We've got just in our system alone, how many, Juliet? I think we had about 39, 40 pretty much. Now, we gave you some homework, producer Juliet, of seeing if you could do basically a mash-up of Santa Claus is Coming to Town featuring all the artists that we have in our system. Yeah, and this is why Juliet got into radio, to spend two hours of her day clipping together a tedious song

that we might play once on the radio. Yeah. Yeah, this is what it's all about, eh? It is, it is. It's all worth it. So how long did you spend on this? Maybe like an hour and a half, two hours. Did you enjoy that time?

Yeah, it was good fun. I sat inside looking at the sunshine outside thinking, oh, I could be out there right now. But no, I'm so much rather. Yeah, for sure. So we can play it now or we could not play it. What do you think, John? I think we don't play it.

Oh, okay. Okay, all right. Cheers. No. Let's play it. This is a montage of everyone who's ever sung Santa Claus is Coming to Town. Yeah, you better watch out.

You better not cry. Better not fall. And, you better watch out. You better not cry. Better not cry. I'm telling you why. Santa Claus is coming to town. He's making a list. Checking it twice. He's gonna find out. Don't he, I'm right.

Santa Claus is coming to town. He sees you when you're sleeping He knows when you're awake He knows if you've been bad But so be good for good you say You better watch out You better not cry You better not cry I'm telling you why

Santa Claus is coming to town. He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. Yeah, he knows if you've been bad

or good, so be good for goodness sake. You better watch out. you better not cry. You better not pout, I'm telling you why. Santa Claus is coming to town. Santa Claus is coming to town. Santa Claus is coming to town. There we go.

Two hours of Producer Juliet's time. Definitely not wasted on that. Enjoy that mash-up. Nice work. Santa Claus is coming to town. Broadcasting live and mostly awake. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the hits. That song, as we mentioned earlier during the week,

it's just got to number one in the UK for the first time pretty much over 20 years after it was released. It's the only time it's ever got to number one right now. And she's had a wonderful reign as the Christmas Queen, Mariah Carey. She has. But it's time for the Queen to be knocked off her throne. Oh, really? That's right, Ben, because there's a new Christmas song in town.

And in a radio first, a radio show has written and recorded a Christmas song. Oh, no. I don't think it's ever been done before. No, it's not. No, and most shows seem to do this at Christmas time. I need to listen to more shows. Yeah. Yeah.

There's some good shows out there too. I only listen to ours and this is the first time we've done it. So that's all the research I've done. No, we have recorded a Christmas song. When we say we've recorded, we got Vince Harder, number one recording artist, to sing the Michael Bublé style bits. I mean, this has done wonderful things

for our credibility. Vince Harder's, it's taken his credibility to an all you know, all you know being associated with us. Yeah, he's got a new single out. It's very cool with Abby Lee. It's called Closer. Check it out right now if you want it.

It's awesome. We paid Vince in massages from me. I've sent him with Abby Lee. It's called Closer. Check it out right now if you want it. It's awesome. We paid Vincent massages from me. I've sent him a voucher. Oh God. Shoulder massages. I'm bored of stuff, mate. What are you talking about? No, no, still. Oh God. Vincent getting a massage voucher from you.

You'll be like, oh, I won't be receiving that. Here's a massage voucher you can cash in at any time. Expires never because it's available all the time. Expires never because it's available all the time. Expires never. All right. Enough babble. Here's our 2020 Christmas song with Vince Harder.

2020 can kiss my Christmas. Lockdown in our homes You gifted COVID-19 Now jab us with Pfizer's vaccine An elbow bump under the mistletoe 2020 can come and kiss my Christmas Sanitizer galore The scariest sight to see

Was a dude coughing next to me Panic buying loo paper at the store In lockdown I drank all the wine I could take No matter the time of day I put on five kilograms Meetings on Zoom in my living room with no pants and mom and dad did a shoddy job of homeschooling the kids 2020 can come and kiss my christmas time for you to go not ideal if you want to marry.

Weddings move faster than Meghan and Harry. Stuck at home watching Tiger King. It's the remix! Um, what are you doing? I was just going to do the remix! Um, no, no, Michael Buble doesn't do a rap, but I just thought we should get an honours. Oh, no, please don't.

Cos we wanted Buble, but there's probably no way Cos he doesn't do a rap, but I just thought we should get anonymous. Oh, no, please don't. Because we wanted Buble, but there's probably no way because he doesn't sing for free. COVID app that tracks Ashley Redfax. We went to alert level three. TikTok to lock 15 second shots. Dancing along to Benny. Guys in tinfoil hats. Spotted off that we weren't to trust 5G.

Trump said go, inject some dead dough, now he's refusing to leave. The referendum could end your grandmum, but you still can't smoke any weed. Can't leave your place without a mask on your face. 2020 could go and take a hike. So wash your hands, cancel your plans, we out like David Clark on a bike. Actually Jono, that was fun. Now back to you, Bitsada. 2020 can come and kiss my Christmas. This year you're now behind me.

Now's time to go behind my hips. Pucker up your juicy lips, and kiss me on my high knees. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Jono and Ben's Merry Zoommas. Yes, we've managed to organise some one-on-one Zoom time with Santa Claus himself from the North Pole, from his boardroom,

and we've been connecting him with some special New Zealand children and having a few surprises up our sleeve as well as we're meeting these kids this week and it's been a really cool thing to do. Thanks, TheMoney.com. I really see why Santa does this for a job. Very rewarding, isn't it?

And so basically we've been assigned by Santa himself to dress as elves and deliver presents to children while they are talking to him on Zoom. So Santa will ask them what they want. They tell him, boom, the magic of Christmas. We're weirdly at the front door. I mean, on any other given day, if there are two fully grown men

dressed as elves at your front door, you would call the police. They would probably end up on Police 107 with a pixelated face. But not at this time of year. It's acceptable. And Elijah yesterday was the little boy that we went and visited.

And here's what happened. Is this Elijah? Is this Elijah? Santa told us, Elijah, that you've been very good at school this year. He just got off of Zoom? Was he talking to you on Zoom? Tell you what Santa didn't tell us is how hot it is down here in New Zealand. It's very hot.

These costumes are killing us. But someone told us that you wanted a Nintendo Switch. Is that what you wanted? Yes. All right, have a great Christmas. Love you guys. See you wanted a Nintendo Switch. Is that what you wanted? Yes. All right, have a great Christmas. See you guys. See you. Did he just break a beak off the bird?

You invite the elves over and he breaks the beak. Has that been done before? Yeah. I think it is. Good, I'm glad you said that. I hope it hadn't been done before. That would have been very polite. Ben broke the nose off the terracotta bird.

There was a bird on the porch. It had been done before, I've been very polite. Ben broke the nose off the terracotta bird. There was a bird on the porch. It had been done before, I hope. I felt bad about that. See, going back to my original statement of why you would usually call the police on these people. But we look like a couple of office workers who have gone missing from the Christmas party. We did.

Wandering the streets. And we're joined by Louisa, who's Elijah's mum. It was lovely to meet you, Louisa. Hello. Lovely to meet you and, who's Elijah's mum. It was lovely to meet you, Louisa. Hello. Lovely to meet you and your family and Elijah as well. He seems like he's just the sweetest little boy. Yeah, he's very, very happy at the moment. Such a shy one, to be honest.

He's a little shy? Yeah, a be honest. He's a little shy? Yeah, a little shy and he was nervous because he didn't expect the UK to be coming and he didn't expect a call from Santa. I told him that he will be calling, that he will be talking to his grandma from

America. Oh, right, and then suddenly Santa pops up on Zoom, suddenly we pop up at the door. It's a lot to take in. Yeah, a lot to take in. Elijah's been doing very well at school, we understand, a mess, so you must be very proud of what he's doing. Oh, yeah, I am very proud of him. He also received an award from the principal as well

on the same day that you guys came. Oh, he got an award the same day we came? A principal award, isn't it? Yeah, it's a positive power award. Oh, he got an award the same day we came. A principal award, isn't it? Yeah, it was a positive positive power award. Oh, well, good on them. The positive power award. That's awesome. It was lovely to meet you.

Lovely to meet Elijah. And you guys have a wonderful Christmas, okay? It was lovely to meet you guys too. Take care of yourself. I always hear that Sean I've been, but it was so lovely

to meet you guys in person. Oh, you too, Louisa. You go and have a great Christmas, okay? Yeah, you guys have a great Christmas too. See you, mate. And of course, it's gifmasatthemarket.com. Amazing Christmas ideas every single day. Over 2 million products. You should check out the

website. It's incredible. Themarket.com. Free shipping, free returns as well. And thanks to themarket.com, it's not too late to register. HITS.co.nz we've got a couple more deliveries to do before the end of the week on the HITS add these two men together and somehow you get three quarters worth of a normal man

the HITS with Jono and Ben for breakfast scrolling through your feed do you consider yourself to have a sexy back? I know I wouldn't have thought so I've got a very undefined back. Yeah. Sort of got those bits that hang over the top of your shorts and things.

That's not a sexy back, is it? I don't know if that's in the Justin Timberlake song. I haven't listened too closely to the lyrics, to be honest. Got a squidgy back. Bits hanging over the top of your shorts. Few moles on your back. Hairy back. You wanted to do New Zealand's sexiest

back, didn't you? Yeah, bring sexy back. Yeah, look for the sexiest back, but I don't know if it's really a conversation that we should be doing. It wouldn't stack up in 2021. But you weren't actually looking for sexy backs. You were looking for comical backs. Yeah, it's a lot.

Hey babe, send in your shots of your sexy back. That's the guy I'm working with dudes. Yeah, comical backs. He would have been like, hey, babe, send in your shots of your sexy back. That's the guy I'm working with, New Zealand. Oh, no. Oh, so sexy back coming Jan 2021. Jono, Jono, Ben returning. Now, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern received a phone call from the Queen. This is what the Prime Minister had to say about the phone call.

It was fantastic to be able to speak with Her Majesty for the second time this year. And really, I think it's an acknowledgement of the connection that Her Majesty feels to New Zealand. She literally just wanted to check in and to send her best wishes for the holiday season. Also, a remarkable thing to hear from her, her memories of spending a summer over the holiday season here. How different, of course, it is to a snowy Christmas. And she had very fond memories. Shit, that's an obligation from the Queen. She's like, oh, God, I've got to phone all my countries.

She probably knocks them off in the morning. Yeah, like talking about, it's like talking to your nana, isn't it? You know, you go, oh, I remember going there, and I did this thing. You're like, oh, great, yeah. At least she had notes. Oh, I remember my summer of, hold on, 1986. Do they still have the big fish out there? Yeah, no, they've still got the big fish.

Local references. Thanks for calling, Queen. It makes us feel a little special. But it was last, the phone call was last week and it was only released yesterday. So there was a conversation that the Prime Minister might have forgotten she had spoken to the Queen. Oh, really?

As you do with your grandmother. As she said at the start, she already phoned once this year. I mean, once you've talked once, you know, the second one's not quite as memorable, is it? And it is probably like when your grandmother calls, you probably scream, you're like, I don't have 45 minutes to speak just right now. But it's important, you've got to take that call or else they might be dead.

What? Your grandparents, yeah. That's just true. You don't want to ignore a call from your grandparents, do you? No, exactly. And now what does one give Oprah Winfrey for Christmas? Well, there's a rumour that Meghan Markle is the neighbour. Meghan and Harry are the neighbour of Oprah

in the same sort of area in California. And Oprah's just posted to her Instagram making a latte which is from the same company as Meghan has invested in. And it's like this oat milk latte company. And she like said, thanks to... Instant oat milk. Oh, yeah, instant oat milk.

And she said, thanks to M, neighbour M, with a crown next to it. So obviously, clearly it's from Megan. And that's why I probably see, that's what you get Oprah apparently. Instant coffee. Oat milk latte. Yeah.

That's what she's invested in. And I was reading about Megan and Harry's house. You can milk anything. Oats. Oat milk. Did you not know oat milk was a thing? No. You've got oat milk, almond milk, cashew milk, everything milk.

The guy across the road at the cafe who we get a coffee from, he's like, there's so many milks now. He's like, as a barista, nothing stresses you out more than one person making multiple orders featuring different milks. But Megan and Harry's house, according to the rumours, used to be owned by a Russian billionaire. $10 million is what they reckon they paid for it. Nine bedrooms, 16 bathrooms. The ratio seems kind of off there, doesn't it?

Seems like there's too many bathrooms. Well, they might be quite leaky. You know, you want to have one on hand, a drop of a hat. There should be bathrooms the other way around. Should bedrooms be nine bathrooms? Nine bathrooms would be enough, wouldn't it? Hold on, so that's almost two bathrooms per bedroom. Yeah.

I mean, I realise that they have people coming over and there's great damn bathrooms everywhere. If you've got a big mansion, I'm sure. You don't even have to give directions. You know how you go, second one down on the left. It's like basically it'll be more, it'll be featuring, oh, I've got a big mansion, I'm sure. You don't even have to give directions. You know how you go, second one down on the left. It's like basically it'll be more, it'll be featuring. Oh, I've got to see it. I was too early.

I had a train of thought. Nothing like the unconfident radio announcer who fades out of thought. I've had a scrolling through your feed this morning. Yeah, yeah, nah. Yeah, nah. Yeah, nah. The home of yeah, nah. She'll be right and at the end of the day.

Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. Now it's fast approaching the end of the year and so much has happened in 2020 in the news and we thought we'd recap on some of it with Newstalk ZB's Heather Dupas-Lee-Allen. She does the drive show on Newstalk ZB and she's up early joining us this morning. Thanks for joining us, Heather.

How are you going? Oh, thank you. Thank you for having me, you guys. What are you picking as the political New Zealand moment? Yeah, what pops into your mind? Because we've kind of sprung this on you, but what would you say would be the thing that you would most think of

with New Zealand politics over 2020? Oh, look, 100%. I mean, like a lot of people got COVID, but COVID is actually a global political situation and something that has kind of rolled on us. I reckon the moment that I would pick as being the New Zealand political moment would be seeing that red wave come in on election night,

53% for Labour, an historic win. Never, ever have we had a majority government under MMP. And so looking at that, trying to understand that, trying to figure out whether that will happen to the future again, that was monumental. That was amazing. Oh, great. So, yeah, Labour winning the election by a landslide.

We're going to pinpoint on one of the moments from the debates. This was Judith Collins where she was responding to Jacinda Ardern who was refusing to say which way she was voting in the weed referendum. Whatever you decide. We just love her saying, oh, come on. Whatever you decide. We just love her saying, oh, come on. Whatever you decide. Oh, come on. She had a lot of zingers, didn't she? I always likened Judith to

a friend's mother who you just could easily wind up. Now, we're going to go international. Your international news moment of the year. Here's the duplicy, Ellen. Okay, can I say Donald Trump getting COVID? Because nothing about that was normal, right?

So, I mean, we looked at it, we were like, oh no, he's dead. He is dead. That guy is in the high-risk category. And then next minute, he's being delivered back to the White House lawn in an Air Force chopper, walking up the stairs, saluting, setting it all to music and turning it into like a North Korea

propaganda film. It was amazing. It was surreal wasn't it? It was quite wheezy too. He was a bit short of breath. Correct. Yeah, that was in a weird news year. That was one of the weirdest moments. You're right. We also picked Trump. He was doing one of his campaigns and him sort of

unnecessarily burning Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga. I could tell youarily burning Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga. I could tell you stories about Lady Gaga. I know a lot of stories about Lady Gaga. Please say hello to Lady Gaga. What am I calling you, Stephanie? Lady Gaga. Whatever you like.

My name is Bradley Cooper. And I'm Lady Gaga. That's the sort of stuff that we do, Heather, with news grabs. We just make them into silly montages. I don't know if you do that upstairs at UCB, but that's all we do. You know what, guys? If you've got a little bit of time after your show,

can we just get you to do a few for us as well? Because I enjoyed that, and I'd like to be able to use those kind of things. Oh, listen, we'll send them up to you. We'll email them. Also, from the US election, we really loved Joe Biden. There's a moment that brings us much joy. He's on stage and he confuses his wife for his sister. They were standing behind them and at some stage they switched.

By the way, this is my little sister Valerie and I'm Jill's husband. Oh no, they switched on me. This is my wife, this is my sister. They switched on me. Oh my gosh. Honestly, I have no idea what the next four years will be. We're all like, yay, the next four years are going to be great. This is a guy who doesn't know his wife or his sister,

forgets who he's actually running against. Because did you see that bit where he thought he was running against George W. Bush? Oh, he said George. That's right. Yeah, no, that's right. It could potentially be horrific. Will he see out two terms? Yeah, I doubt that, actually.

And I reckon the reason for that is because he's pretty old. He fell over the other day and broke his ankle playing with his dog. That doesn't sound like a guy who is terribly robust. But quite apart from that as well, nobody's excited about him. Everybody's excited about his vice president, Kamala Harris. And so almost it would be a smart move for him to be like, right, done my thing. My greatest gift to you is giving you Kamala Harris and I'm out.

And so politically, he might also want to leave. Finally, COVID. How have we handled it this year? Heather Duplicy, Ellen. I'm going to be honest with you that at the very start of it, I thought closing the borders was a massive mistake. I was wrong. So we have handled it, I think, reasonably well.

What I worry about a little bit is that we don't seem to be prepared to move out of the stasis that we're in. So here we are. We've got everything shut down and we're all very happy and we need to remember we are a trading nation. We're outward looking.

If we don't get the things going quickly, trans-Tasman bubble and all that stuff, we'll end up extremely poor relative to other countries in about 30 or 40 years. We need to get going now. Moment during the week, obviously the vaccine's rolling out in the UK, they're injecting the elderly. This wonderful man who

he was one of the first in the world to get the vaccine, but he had other issues when the news camera was on him. And they said we'll come at half past twelve. Of course, I couldn't damn well find anywhere to park my car, so I was late. I got inside and had a rather nasty lunch and then came back and they were ready for me. So his concerns was more about the parking and the nasty lunch. I have a question for you guys, which you're not prepared for.

When the vaccine arrives, will you take it? Absolutely. I'm a sheep. How about yourself? You sound hesitant. I'm reserving my judgment on it. I want to see what happens first. Well, I guess we're in a good position here in New Zealand,

and many people much smarter than me have said that. We can watch what happens overseas and see if there's any reactions by the time it gets here. But I mean, I have a flu jab every year, you know, you've been, you know, vaccinate your kids, you know, and I've never really gone into complex detail of what's in those. So you hope you've got to trust the medical

professionals and that they know what they're doing. You've got to, yeah, and nobody wants to be labelled an anti-vaxxer, do they? No, it's a bad look. It's a bad thing. You know what, you don't want to put that on your email signature. I saw a great social media poster saying, just put it in vape form, because no one ever asks what's in a vape. No one ever seems to break that down.

So I was like, that's very clever, whoever put that out. Why don't we all just vape in the vaccine? It's a good idea. Here the Dupacy Allen. Geez, we've covered some ground. Oh, we have. Thank you so much for your time. You're an absolute legend.

Go and have a wonderful Christmas, and good luck for the new year. Thank you so much for your time. You're an absolute legend. Go and have a wonderful Christmas and good luck for the new year. Thank you so much, guys. Merry Christmas to you. To everyone pulling a sickie today, you're not fooling anyone. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. Is it just me or is it everyone you speak to is like, oh, jeez, I'm just getting,

I've just got to get to the finish line of the year. Yeah. Is that a conversation you're having with a lot of people? Yeah, I think it is. I think it's just been one of those years. It's been a horrible year all around. And yeah, I think people just want it to be over. It's surprising how tired a lot of people are

considering we spent a quarter of the year at home drinking. Isn't it? But it was quite taxing, I imagine. There was a lot of stress and worry and a lot of people going through some horrible stuff around because of the health issues, the financial issues. So yeah, you're feeling for a lot of people. And I horrible stuff, you know, around because of the health issues, the financial issues. So, yeah, you're feeling for a lot of people. And I think, yeah, as you said before,

you just want the year to be over and done. Oh, yeah, and people have checked out. I feel people checked out beginning of two weeks ago. You do. I think as soon as it gets to December, I say this every year, you're like, you're on the slide. Are you talking about me personally? Yeah, you personally.

I'm on the slide middle of November. There's no point doing that now. It's the end of the year. You're like, what? You've got six weeks of work. No, I can't do that now. We were in a meeting the other day with producer Humphrey. It was a brainstorm. And Ben, you came up with an idea. It was the first idea that came out

and Ben Humphrey, our producer, producer Humphrey was like, that's it. You're not going to get a better idea than that. And even I was like, what about, I was picking holes in the idea. He's like, no, no, you've said it now, that's it. And I was like, well, what's the elements? How do people enter the competition? Nope, nope, nope, it's done. This meeting's over.

The meeting was 90 seconds. These meetings usually go on for 40 minutes. He wrapped it up in 90 seconds. You're not going to find a better idea than that. I was like, well, yeah, you probably will, but anyway, that was the idea we put forward. And yesterday I went to a school picnic. Now, I don't know what part of the NCEA curriculum a school picnic is.

It's right up there with watching Home Alone at the last week of school. They do that in the morning. All right, good. What a day. Covered up. So it's the filler time of year for everybody. Everyone's doing content filler for work. I mean, now we're on the radio talking about people filling in time.

And also the big one, two Christmas parties. We had a work Christmas party, but now I notice there's break-off sub-department Christmas parties. Oh, yes. There's Christmas parties inside Christmas parties. Yeah. The hits, we didn't really do a break-off Christmas party, did we? No, we never do.

I'm like, come on, let's round up the fellas and have a big Christmas party for the hits. I'd always try to make it happen every year. We did our Stealing Santa game, which was quite fun. Yeah, that never do. I'm like, come on, let's round up the fellas and have a big Christmas party for the hits. I'd always try to make it happen every year. We did our stealing Santa game, which was quite fun. Last week here, we all purchased presents and the format of the game was you put them in the middle, everyone pulls out a number from one to 13 and basically if you're the first person, you pick a present.

But if you're the last person, number 13, you can choose any of the presents that have been taken previously. Steal them off other people. And because we didn't know everyone as well as we know Producer Juliet, you and me, Jodda, we just ended up stealing twice off our Producer Juliet. Targeting me. Like hyenas, we came in.

She got one bottle of wine and I stole that off her and then you picked a new present which was a bigger bottle of wine. Yeah, and I was stuck. I was like, no one's taken this from me. I also picked up a plant. I got a thing, I think three things taken from me and then I ended up with a $20 note which is exactly what I put in as well. So I was like, no one's taken this from me. I also picked up a plant. I got, I think, three things taken from me. And then I ended up with a $20 note, which is exactly what I put in as well. So I was like, come out broken even.

Oh, yeah. It felt so good doing that, didn't it? What, taking it off to produce Juliet? Yeah. I know. She doesn't deserve it. She's just a hardworking 22-year-old. She hasn't checked out.

She's the one person on the show that hasn't checked out. These two old, rusty bullies steal it. The only joy they get out of the whole year is stealing a present off their innocent producer. Thank you very much. We apologise in advance.

Sorry about that. Sorry about that. I'm sorry to rope you into this. Sorry you've been dragged into this. Jono and Pam. Breakfast on the heads.

The heads. The heads. The A to Z of New Zealand. We are calling every town and city in New Zealand one a day. We do it alphabetically. We're slowly making our way in New Zealand one a day. We do it alphabetically. We're slowly making our way around New Zealand.

And today we're going batty batty for kaddy kaddy. It's 28k south of Waihi and about 40k from Tauranga, kaddy kaddy. And home to the most profitable green thing grown in New Zealand. Now not the stuff that you sell under the cover of Darkness, Ben Boyce. But this can also get you stoned. Avocados have stones. And we're going through to Cutty Cutty. Hello, Jackie speaking.

Hi, Jackie. Hello. Jackie, Jackie, Jackie. It's Jono and Ben from the Hits radio station. Hello. We're phoning every town in New Zealand. We do one a day. It's arduous. It's tedious. But we've committed to it now. And Katikati is the 197th town we're calling.

Come on down, Jackie Knight, town representative. Yay. Yay. What do you do? We could have been number one. Well, we did it alphabetically. So we're not picking favorites or anything. It's not like you're 100.

We're like, oh, they just scrape into the top 200. Okay. No favorites here. No favourites here. No favourites here. Although we all today love Kadikati. It's our favourite town we're talking to right now. What do you do there, Jackie? I'm what they call the promotions manager.

So I just help promote things happening in Kadikati. Oh, what's going on there at the moment? Do some promoting. Well, we've got Santa's Grotto set up at the moment, which is amazing. It's very, very cool, done by a whole lot of community groups, and Santa comes to visit a few times between now and Christmas. Love me a grotto.

It really gets you in the mood, a grotto, doesn't it? Oh, it does. Can't beat a grotto. That's quite an unappealing word. Yeah, the name doesn't really, yeah, but anyway. Coming to my grotto. Yeah. And have you had the town Santa parade this year?

We have. We had that at the town Santa parade this year? We have. We had that at the beginning of December so that was pretty cool and then we do a concert afterwards and rides for the kids and all that sort of thing.

Lollies scramble and all that sort of stuff. I was just about to ask is the good old fashioned New Zealand lollies scramble still a thing? Because you could chuck out the old Macintosh

lollies and kids would fight to the death for a blue Macintosh. I got stabbed with a knife. It's alive and well. It's alive and well. Good. I like some of the, anyway.

So I'm looking at the mural town, they say. We've got over 80 pieces of artwork out in the public. So I claim to be New Zealand's biggest art gallery and no one's told me we're not yet. So yeah, it's all out in the open, free for everyone to see. Also, the town, if you wanted to make a mural, that's the place to go to put it up? Yep, absolutely.

Is there a fine line between a mural and graffiti? Well, that depends on the individual, I think. Yeah. Now, Millennial Juliet, our producer, Mildrew, will be ecstatic. Kari Kari, the avocado capital of New Zealand. Yes. Her avocado consumption is wild. Yes.

Absolutely wild. She's fuelled on avocados. What's the cheapest you've ever seen an avocado for sale? Probably about 50 cents in Kari Kari. Oh, 50 cents. Oh, keep talking. Like, I'm always like, if it gets to like two for $5, I'm like, oh, that's a good deal.

But it's not. You get 50 cents. Yeah, yeah. And they're all on the roadside store, so you just drive around and pick them up. Cheap as chips. It's fantastic. And I don't know if you also saw in your research

that we've got an award-winning naturist park. Oh, no. We didn't. Who hands out these awards? What are the awards for? Well done. You kept your clothes off. Yeah, Oh, no. We didn't know. Who hands out these awards? What are the awards for? Well done. You kept your clothes off. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That one's award winning. That one, not too much. I'm not telling you. It's a cold day. Yeah, guys, it was cold when you came to judge. I'm not winning any awards. I get that. Well, listen, it's been a pleasure talking to you, Jackie.

Thank you. Thank you for bringing me. And just quickly before you go, we're going's been a pleasure talking to you, Jackie. Thank you. And just quickly before you go, we're going to put you in the middle of an ad. Welcome to the beautiful, tranquil... Cathy Cathy. And as the locals always say... You can't beat a good avocado. If you haven't visited this beautiful location, it will have you saying... Whoop, whoop, whoop.

And once you've said that, this special place of paradise will have you uttering more words like... Fantastic. Got to come back. Best little town in New Zealand. And once those words have left your mouth, believe it or not, further words will fall from your mouth.

Oh, goodness me, I'm starting to run out. But be sure to pop in so the locals can tell you the town slogan. Oh, come and sit with Barry. It's all right here. That's good, mate. On the spot town slogan there. Jackie, lovely talking to you.

Great representative for Cutty Cutty. And you go and have a Merry Christmas and thank you very much for your time. Thank you, you guys too. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Well, we want to get your day started right.

0800 the hits is the phone number. Why is today going to be a good day for you? Be it big, be it small, it doesn't matter. We'd just love to hear from you. Why is today going to be a good day for you? Be it big, be it small, it doesn't matter. We'd just love to hear from you why today is going to be good. Bring some positivity around. I'm happy

because I'm getting a cavity filled in on my tooth. I can't even, I can't drink a glass of water and it's so painful. Is that what it is because you were

taking Sensodyne, weren't you? Like an old man and Gaviscon at the same time. Yeah, no, I did use Sensodyne

but no, it just kept going and she's like, oh, I know use Sensodyne, but no, I just kept going. And she's like, oh, I know you've got a cavity in there. So getting that filled in. My friend's dad used to just pull out difficult teeth with the pliers. That's how he'd get rid of his teeth. And, you know, dentists were around then. Oh, really?

This was the option. Save himself some money. I was like, you know dentists are a thing yeah they do actually a very professional job of doing what you do yanking your teeth out

with the pliers numbing your mouth and everything so anyway looking forward to that that's why it's going to be a good day for me oh that's good

alright well John I see if you can beat John I'm in my dental appointment he's getting a cavity filled that's the bar speech set very low alright why is it going to be a good day

we'll go to Rachel in Christchurch Rachel I'm told it's going to be a good day for you because you've won our Sole Mio competition. You're off to see them. Oh, that's incredible. Thank you so much. You've got a double pass to go see them.

I presume you want to see them in Christchurch. They're playing in the Town Hall over summer. Definitely. I've been to every show and family. Oh, awesome. Well, you really enjoy that. And if anyone else wants to go to Sola Mio, check out all the details

at the Hits.co.nz their New Zealand tour just announced this morning. She's like Ben's mum. She's a Mio-niac. A Mio-maniac? Yeah. Something.

They're official. Good on her. Yeah, good on her. I love you, Rachel. Have a good one. Hey, you too. Alicia, you're on the air. Why is it going to be

a good day for you? We've got our Christmas hours starting, so final countdown to help people get their Christmas gifts all sorted. Oh, the stressful Christmas shopping. She's in the eye of the storm. Alicia, you go and have a great day, okay? You guys too.

Merry Christmas. We'll send you out something from the prize cupboard tomorrow on the show. Keith Urban joins us. We're very excited about that. See you then. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from sex on The Hits and via the iHeartRadio app.

Jono and Ben on The Hits Breakfast. Friends of Skinny. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh.