Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Embracing the Present: Dai Henwood on Life, Laughter, and Mental Health

Episode Date: September 25, 2024

Warning: This podcast covers topics of depression and anxiety. Listener discretion is advised. Please seek support if needed. "There is no past and there is no future. There literally is right now" Join us as we chat with comedian Dai Henwood about his new documentary, Live And Let Dai—the funniest cancer documentary you'll ever see. Dai shares his unique experience of holding a full death ceremony, inviting people into his chemotherapy sessions, and reflecting on what cancer has taken from him. In light of Mental Health Week, he also opens up about the tools he uses to navigate his mental health while living with cancer. Don't miss this heartfelt and humorous conversation! Need to talk? Free call or text 1737 any time for support from a trained counsellor. More links to help here: https://mentalhealth.org.nz/helplines See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, with the Jono and Ben podcast. Cheers to Dilma, making the world a better tea. Dai Henwood, hello, how are ya? Oh, phenomenal, it's lovely to be chatting with ya. It's nice to have you on. Now, a three-part series is going to be starting next week on Three as well, Live and Let Die. It seemed like, from the trailer, nothing off-limits to what you were going through.

No, this documentary series is probably the um piece of work i've been most proud of in in my life it it's been it was very cathartic confronting funny to make um it's probably the funniest cancer documentary anyone will um see because it also tracks me writing a stand-up show that I performed at the State Opera House in Wellington it's got I go over to Japan which is sort of a spiritual home to me and I do sort of a full death ceremony with a Buddhist monk. It's got a bit of everything. It's got tools for people who are dealing with adversity. And it was pretty insane just letting it all hang out and trusting Justin Hawks, who was directing it, to make it look good.

Yeah. Were you aware that there were cameras following you around or that sort of drops away pretty quickly? It was, what was quite strange is having a camera and doing chemotherapy and scans and that, because that's such a vulnerable time. However, in watching it back, it's so important because I didn't even know what chemotherapy, or I knew what chemotherapy was, but I didn't know how it actually happened and all that sort of carry on. So this demystifies it for a lot of people.

And I think that'll be really helpful for humans who have loved ones or friends who are going through chemotherapy to actually understand what the process is like. Yeah, I'm sure this documentary will help and shine a light in so many areas. Were there moments where you're like, sorry guys, I just need the cameras off for this? I made an internal decision not to do that. So Dom Freya, who shot shot it became a very close friend and justin who directed

it became a very close friend so it was like having a little uh a little group of mates and they were so understanding and they knew when to just naturally pull back a little bit uh and not telling them to turn the cameras off is what actually i think made this into such a personal and a beautiful journey to watch it has its own amazing sort of style that justin hawks has put on it he directed all the patty gower documentary so he really knows what he's doing and and watching it back i mean it tugs at my heartstrings i mean i i had a little a little cry um my mom's in it quite a bit well she's been amazing support for me and sort of part of my medical team so yeah i'm a real private person so this was quite a trip filming this and it'll be quite a trip when it sort of goes out publicly well you've already done you know so much you've shared so much you've been so brave and sharing so much through your journey you know with with

cancer but to do this was that another big decision to say hey i'm going to make a documentary for three parts three nights on tv yeah it was huge because I sort of did the book thing, and the book and the documentary are very different, but the book felt more isolated because it's just words. It's just you do it on paper. You get to go over it and over it, whereas this is just me and my story, and there's a few medical elements in it around um research is going on but it was a huge jump i got approached early on in my journey uh to see if i wanted to do something like this

and the time wasn't right and then we filmed this over a year and uh i'd sort of got to a point where I could really tell my story properly and impart some knowledge and any wisdom I've learned along the way. So the time was right. It was hard, but it was so worth it. Why do you want to do this? Because I just think if it was me, I'd just want to do it privately and just be you know because you like you say you're so vulnerable but why is it important to to show all this that's a phenomenal question megan and when i am still wondering why

amazing that you are but i'm just like it's so brave on top of everything you're going through yeah yeah it's uh this is weird because so i the cancer has robbed me of so much work what makes me feel vital and a real excited human being is doing comedy, making TV, making live stage shows. I love the process of it all. And I've lost so much work due to cancer. I've had to turn down so many awesome projects. And in a way, this was me being able to make a project and create while I was doing this hard treatment so it became a slight distraction to the treatment which was so useful and I could so it was weird because normally when I'm on screen when I was doing C4 shows to seven days I'm sort of in performance mode and the character of die henwood whereas this i'm just die henwood i'm quiet because when you're doing chemo you're not you're not sort of

in performance mode you're very low key so people see a different side of me and i don't know exactly why i did it but i'm really stoked i did oh it seems incredible three nights uh on three next week three part series live and let die it is a mental health uh week this week though die and you know you've you are just amazes all of us just how incredible you have been and I know watching the doco there's highs and lows through it all but how have you managed to keep your mental health up going through all this? Mental health. So I've been amazingly lucky because throughout my life, I've never suffered deep anxiety, deep depression or anything. So when this came along, it gave me anxiety.

It gave me a bit of depression, but it wasn't mounting on on an underlying condition however due to that anxiety due to the depression that comes up i've had to find tools practical tools that work quickly and i've one, this sounds bizarre, but gratitude really works for me. People might think I don't have much to be grateful for. I've got an incurable stage four cancer diagnosis. But if you actually take a moment to just be grateful for the little things, like I've got a nice backyard I can sit in and look at a tree I've got amazing children I've got the most loving and supporting wife taking a moment to think about the

smallest things that you're grateful for bring you into the moment and bring you happiness and also when you're spiraling mentally when you can't shake thoughts when you are just digging in and you can't change your state i've found the quickest way to change your state is to massively change your temperature so for me that's getting into a cold shower and it just freaks the be jesus out of my body and my brain but it actually moves it shifts your mind so i if i'm really freaking out i'll just get into a cold shower or i'll just try and breathe five seconds in five seconds out for three minutes and those three tools gratitude changing your temperature to change your state, and breathing massively helped me, and I use those pretty much every day.

The way you've conducted yourself and handled yourself over the last couple of years, mate, is honestly it's such a testament to who you are as a person. I think about you, saying this the other day, every day I think about you and decisions that come up and mundane life things that come up for people that, and, and, you know, mundane life things that come up for people that aren't going through this journey like you are. And I honestly, I think you've inspired so many, uh, and I imagine a lot from this documentary

will be taken away. A lot of inspiration by people on how to approach life. Like the way you're doing it is it's honestly inspirational. Well, I've got to conduct myself with some sort of decorum over the last four years because I spent 20 years of my life acting with no decorum and filming that and putting it on TV. I didn't mean to do that. I caused my brand so much damage in my early days

that now I'm getting it back to a base level. A wonderful saying that you had i think i read you said about optimism i won't cure me but pessimism will kill will kill me which is a good way to look at things you know that is that is my mantra because um look you can you should see that i get sent so many messages around um people with who have quirky ways of healing and all that sort of stuff, right? I don't think optimism, positive thinking is going to get rid of my cancer, but it's one tool in the box. The fact that I've remained optimistic and positive is what's kept me on the road. And that's the thing. I'm in chemotherapy at the moment. I do one week on,

one week off. I feel good for about six days out of that 14. And to me, it's like, boom, I've got six days. Let's get into it. Let's do some stuff. Not moping around thinking about the next round, just getting into life because there is no past and there is no future. There literally is right now because the future when we're there, it'll just be right now. So all I have is right now and I feel great today. So that optimism is what carries me through. Beautiful words.

You're a special man. You really are. And you three I always love chatting to you We're struggling to talk to you all It's amazing what you say Before we go Let's bring out this change gear slightly

Sean Johnson Do you retire too soon? I think one more year Look This is something John was saying John was saying He thinks about me every day

I think about the question You just asked every day he went from daily in pretty much should have been daily in player of the NRL came back had some injuries retired he's still good for another one two years I know and now we're like do we need

we've got to sort out a half we had Sean Johnson and now I see he's slipped very nicely into a bit of talking heads on Fox league, which is probably a bit better for your, your body composition than getting absolutely smacked up by Nelson De Soffa-Solomona and the likes. But Hey, I've just felt blessed that basically in the, um, the biggest part of my league loving life life the last 15 years,

a majority of that has been watching Sean Johnson at his best. Plus, I got to watch Stacey Jones at his best. So, oh, just fizzing. Who's going to be next? And a great way to round that out with a bit of league banter. That's all I was going to do. I enjoyed catching up with Di with a bit of league banter. That's all I want to do. I enjoy catching up with Di with a bit of lead banter. Oh, Di.

Hey, well, congratulations on, you know, firstly, just putting yourself out there and everything you have done for New Zealand. And that's not putting it lightly. You being so vulnerable and being so open about your story has helped so many and no doubt this documentary

will do the same, mate. Hey, thanks. And also just quickly before i go i want to say to anyone who is dealing with mental health issues do not be afraid to reach out to your friends and if things are really serious honestly reach out to a health professional when you start talking about things those problems do dissipate the the air comes out of the balloon a bit you have support and there are people who love you so so look after yourself and get talking we love you die i love you lots mate i appreciate your time this morning