Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - February 03 - Jono Proves He's A 'Grade A' Punisher, Once Again

Episode Date: February 3, 2021

On today's show, we absolutely roasted Jono for something he did while on holiday. It's one of those things the majority of the population would avoid at all costs, but alas, Mr Jono Pryor, he's a bit different! We also discussed the fact that Jono has been donating to an endangered panda charity for years, and the DIFFICULTY to cancel those sorts of automatic payments is unreal! It seems you have to go through a 538-step process! So we asked you guys what you're still paying for, or what you're still subscribed to. And dear lord, we clearly need to sort our finances! Finally, Ben's wife Amanda loves shopping, but it seems that whenever Ben asks her how much it costs, she dodges the question in the slickest way... Genius! Enjoy.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast on a Wednesday morning. Really fun show this morning.

See on TV they're gearing up for a Super Bowl. I saw Ellen DeGeneres doing a thing on the Super Bowl, which is when is Super Bowl Monday usually? It's Monday New Zealand time, yeah. So Super Bowl Sunday American time. So yeah, it's always a big thing. And Tom Brady, he's... Is he still playing that guy?

He's in another Super Bowl. He's changed teams throughout the year and he's taken a team that hasn't made the playoffs. Anyway, this is sports chat. But he's got into the Super Bowl. Tom Brady's the All-American quarterback. He must be like 98. I think he's like 43 or something like that.

And he reckons he's going to keep playing until he's after 45. Yeah, he'll just keep playing. What, Joe Biden is to world leadership. Tom Brady is to American football. That is really impressive. That's impressive. He's quarterback, isn't he, from memory? He's quarterback, yeah.

So I imagine not as hard on your body generally. Like if his defensive players are doing their job well, he doesn't get it. He doesn't get it. It's a dream job. He doesn't have the hurty bits of American football. They basically give it to him and he just has to throw the ball. In a pretty straight direction. And he throws really well, yeah.

But he's got a good gig. It's a good gig on the field. Anyway, Ben knows all that because he listens to a lot of ESPN podcasts. I don't know much about American football, to be honest, but Tom Brady is, you know, probably one of those names that go outside the football. You know, we go, oh, yeah, it's Tom Brady, or it's Michael Jordan, or it's Serena Williams.

You know, people you know even if you don't follow the sport. Oh, it's the guy who had 32 affairs. Does he play golf? That guy. Oh, he plays the golfer. Yeah, he's a golfer. I thought he was just a professional philanderer.

No, but the reason I wanted to talk about Super Bowl is because to book one commercial slot in the Super Bowl halftime show which The Weeknd

is performing at this year. $5.3 million. Crazy amount of money. And then The Weeknd is putting $9 million of his own money in on top of the $10 million budget, which is accessible for the halftime show. Yeah. Just crazy.

The Americans. And the inauguration cost is between $100 and $200 million. So many celebrities look like they're taking part in Super Bowl commercials. I think Wayne's World, so Mike Myers and Dana Carvey from Wayne's World, they're doing Wayne's World. They're doing Uber Eats. Yeah. Now, this is what I wanted to lead to. We were lucky enough to do an Uber Eats commercial with Stan Walker.

Yeah, it was awesome, actually. Yeah, it was lots of fun. But I tell you what, they flew a guy from Melbourne. And he was the hand guy. And his job, his sole job in the Uber Eats commercial was to hand over a bag of Uber Eats. For consistency, they always had a hand coming from the hand. It was his job. his sole job in the Uber Eats commercial was to hand over a bag of Uber Eats. For consistency, they always had a hand coming through. They wanted the same hand. That was his job.

What a great job. What a hand job. Oh, yeah, that's why. I see what you wanted to do there. That's a great job for a hand, isn't it? Imagine how much he was getting paid for that. Yeah, that's pretty incredible. Then you only saw his wrist and his hand.

Dolly Parton, speaking of Super Bowl, just was reading before. She's got the song Working 9 to 5. Well, she's re-recorded that song, Working 5 to 9. And it's all about basically turning your job you're out. So you might be working in an office job that you don't particularly like, but you've got a passion for doing something on the side. Maybe it's artwork. And you do it after work from 5 to 9 in the evenings.

Well, turning that 5 to 9 into what a way to make a living I was like that's quite clever and they got her to record the whole song again working 5 to 9 but then you're working 9 to 9 like you're doing your normal job

no but they're like but you're doing 12 they're like turn that job into your job that's the thing like turn that into your you know like the job you're working 5 to 9

after your job yes at the moment you're putting in the hard job you're working five to nine after your job. Yes, at the moment, you're putting in the hard yards. But then I'm also... I don't want to leave my job. It's paying me. I'm going to become an artist. Turn that job... Well, it doesn't have to be an art.

Turn that job you got that idea for the website. Whatever it is, turn that job, that after work job, into your job, your passion, into your job. Into your nine to five. It becomes your nine to five job. So you're not doing a 12-hour work day. For a while while you might be but eventually

that would be a long time but eventually I mean that's what happens there's always that sort of side hustle that people do didn't you have a conversation about

the wonderful Machu Walters from 660 whose father is a lawyer yeah and didn't you ask him I was half listening to the story

what were you saying oh no I thought it was quite yeah because he was because obviously Machu's very successful with 660. And driven, quite a driven individual.

And I was like, well, did you want your kids to have a backup option? Because a lot of people talk about the entertainment industry. You know, you may need a backup option if you want to be an actor. It's very hard. You know, for every Ryan Reynolds, there's probably a thousand other people. And Ben Voices. Yeah, like me. And he was like, yeah, it's great that he studied it.

But I also didn't want him wanting to just focus on what he wanted to do and not have that mindset that I've got something to fall back on in a way because just go chase your dream. Go do your dream. Because it's defeatist going, if this doesn't work out, I've got this to fall back on. Why would you ever fall back on? You make the thing you chose work out.

If that's your passion and that's what you want to do, then do it, which I thought was really cool. My passion was inane rambling at the beginning of podcasts. Boy, we've made this our thing. This was my five till niner, and now look at it here. It's been about nine minutes. What have we got coming up on the show, Ben? Oh, I wrote it down.

No, you don't. You were meant to do this at the top. I know, I know. And we've talked. Jeez, we've done it. We've covered some ground. This morning. He wanted to format this where he led with what was at the top. I know, I know. And we've talked, jeez, we've done it. We've covered some ground. This morning He wanted to format this where he led with what was on the podcast, then we

got into this. Sorry, people have switched off by now. They haven't got into the show. We talk about what Jono did on a run. You committed a bad social faux pas. Your eyebrows are getting away on you as well, too. We chat about that. Eyebrows are running away on me

And the weird things you've subscribed to Subscribed is quite a hard word to say Subscription We've done enough of this So enjoy the podcast if you're still here We're proud of New Zealand If only New Zealand was proud of that Jono and Ben

New Zealand's breakfast Jono you mentioned this just earlier in the show when a song was playing, and I thought we should talk about it. Yeah, it was just something in passing, and then everyone looked at me like I'd committed a social crime of the highest order. You basically punished someone.

I just feel sorry for this person having to endure what they endured. I love a chat, okay? First of all, let's get that out of the way. You do love a chat. I used to say you're the king of light banter, but it's not light banter, it's heavy banter. Taxing banter.

Light banter's been like, hey, mate, hot day today? You're like, yeah, go. And you're done. But you lock in there and you just keep, even when we're in a rush to go somewhere, you're like, you stop. Hey, chat, I'm like, mate, someone's waiting for us. Love to deep dive.

Love to deep dive. Anyway, so we're on holiday over New Year's and Tony, you know, beloved broadcaster, Tony Street was also staying where we were too. And I bumped into her a couple of times and her husband, Matt, I don't know if you've met times. And her husband, Matt. I don't know if you've met Matt. Yeah, Matt.

Those are lovely guys. Lovely, lovely gentlemen. I've met him a couple of times. So anyway, I go out running. Because, you know, you may wonder how you end up with a slightly squidgy. You've been running quite a lot, though. I have, but nothing happens. Like, I'm still squidgy and bits of, you know,

I could put my finger in my stomach right now and like it's three quarters in normally at three like just before four o'clock in the morning you're out running the streets crazy man

crazy man like you would almost drive past me and report me to the police like what's that guy doing those are the only cars that are out too

at that time police and Priuses are the two cars that I see every morning at 3.40. Anyway, so I'm going for a run and Matt, Tony Street's husband, I pop out of a street and he's there. I pop out of a street, to coin a phrase.

Tony Street. Ben. Oh, sorry. Not now, mate. Don't bring your smutty brand of comedy to this show, buddy. It wasn't the intention. You know that. Yeah, I know that.

But I love to play on the fact that it was. Yeah. So anyway, I pop out and Matt's there. He's running as well. And I'm like, oh, I'm running. You're running. Hey, mate, hey. And so I run across the road to him on the other side of the footpath.

I'm like, where are you running to, mate? He's like, I'm training for the coast to coast. I was like, oh, good on you. Where are you running? He's like, oh, I run around, do the back way and stuff. He's like, I said, that's the way I go. Let's run. So you invited yourself on there. He didn't say, hey, run along with me. You're like, oh, I'm going to join in. I said, let's run together.

And I spent the whole time talking. So this is the bit, it's great that you guys ran together, that's awesome, but what we were surprised by was that you just talked. How long, like an hour or so? It was about, yeah, 50 minutes.

You talked the whole time. I don't know the protocol. I don't usually run with other people. And what did he say to you at the end? You said at the end. I said, that was fun, mate. Thanks for the run. And he said, yeah, halfway through,

I was thinking to myself, I wish this guy would shut up. Because you're like, you're in the zone of fitness. Oh, listen, I got him and Tony's relationship history. I got his employment history. I got his goals for the future. Boy, oh, boy, did we drill down on the coast to coast because that's what he's training for. The whole time you're just like jibber-jabbering away.

Prices of kayaks, boats. We just find things to talk about. How much is the entry fee? Oh, mate, I just kept firing the questions. Now, in hindsight, as we're going through the hills, I'm like, oh, he's only giving me one-syllable answers here. Maybe I could have picked up at that point that he was not so keen on

free-flowing conversation. Yeah, while you're doing fitness it's great. Like if you're sitting together at a bar or a cafe, I understand you want to keep the conversation flowing, but that's a long time. Producer Juliet, you run. Yes. So what happens? You run with friends sometimes? Yes, I do run with one of my friends and we sort of chat for the first kilometre or two.

But then you get really tired and you don't want to waste your energy on talking. So my biggest thing, I'm like, are you puffing, are you exhausting yourself by talking so much? And also, don't you reach a point where you're like, okay, we're both getting a bit tired, I should probably, you know,

take back on the talking a little bit. Yeah, but then I only met him a couple of times and I didn't want to run in silence. You know, on reflection, when I look at the Olympics and see those malnourished skinny guys doing marathons, they're not chatting to each other. Can I make it? What's your hopes and dreams? What's your hopes and dreams?

Well, listen, let's get Streetie in. We'll get Tony. She's next door. She's in the same building. She's next door on the radio. We'll bring her in here and see if it was an issue. I feel like it's a conversation that would have been had later. Oh, my God, I just got punished for an hour by that guy.

By that bald guy. I feel like, you know, I just got punished for an hour by that guy. By that bald guy. I feel like, you know Jono? Yeah, yeah. Oh God. Please never socialise with him ever again. Paid to talk words and stuff into a microphone. It's New Zealand's breakfast. Jono and Ben on the hits. Now we were just talking before, Jono,

about you talking quite a lot during a run. Like non-stop. Well, I didn't know this was a crime until I just mentioned it in passing to you and then I'm getting judged. And we've brought Matt's lovely wife, Toni Streeton. Good morning. Welcome. Now, did Matt say, did he say I was too talky on the run?

Do you want me to be honest? Yeah, we'd like you to be honest because you work in the same building. We've just grabbed you from your radio show right now. So thank you for popping in quickly. But we need to settle this because we're like, what did Matt say when he went home? Okay, okay. What did he say about Jono? So first of all, because I hadn't been for a run.

I'm on holiday. And I woke up and he came back and he goes, ah, just been for a run and I had a running mate. I was like, who was that? And he goes, oh, Jono. Running mate. Mate. Mates already. Okay.

We formed a bond out there. And I mean, I wasn't surprised because Jono had already popped up next to us at tennis and he popped up next to me shopping at the surf shop. So, you know. G'day, guys. G'day, guys. Let's go. Let's go. And he was weirdly in our living room at breakfast. So it was only natural

that he'd sidle up alongside my husband while he was going for his run. So he said he'd started the run and he got round the corner and then Jono popped out of a side street. Hey, guys. Hey, Matt, where are you going? You're up for a run. I'll come too.

Jono, you're in a tuxedo. I'm going to come for a run. I'm planning on going to run. And he said it was great. So he came over and he started chatting away. And now my husband's training for the coast to coast. So my first question was, did you have a decent pace? And he said, yeah, yeah, he's really fit.

He was exactly the same pace as me. It was great. It was great. We had a wonderful pace. Good pace. Great time of year. He said there was just one thing. Uh-oh.

Uh-oh. He was too good? Is that what he was going to say? Jono was too fast? Yeah. He did talk a lot. And I said, well, that's good because then you don't have to talk. He goes,

yeah, but when I'm running and I'm like crushing it, I don't have much energy to talk back. And he said, I didn't want him to think I had no chat. No, so, yeah, no, because he did at the end, he was like, yeah, that was fun. You just talked, you know, I wish you would shut up halfway through.

Well, my thing was like, I've been mad a couple of times, but then I was like, yeah, that was fun. You just talked to, you know, I wish you would shut up halfway through. Well, my thing was like, I've been mad a couple of times, but then I was like, it'll be awkward if we're just running in silence. So I just kept the soundtrack of a main conversation running. I actually said that to him. If that was me, I'd chatter the whole time, even if it killed me during the run, just to avoid the awkward silence. 10 Ks is a long time to chat. You've made it more awkward now

because he's like, this guy won't shut up. Don't you ever remember? He taught the whole time. Listen, we covered a lot of ground, metaphorically and literally, both running it and I've got his whole career. Yeah, you guys met in university.

Yes, we did. This is getting creepy again. Did he ask you one question or not? I don't think he did. It was like I was interviewing him for 10 kilometres. If you're a carpool karaoke well this is running questions.

Oh thank you Tony. Please apologise and we'll see you tonight for dinner. Actually I think you should go on another run and let's see if you

can do the whole thing in silence. I was just going to come on coast to coast with him. Hey mate how are you? Real Kiwi blokes with soy lattes.

Mmm. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. Ben, I've spoken about this before. I was suckered into donating direct debits, monthly payments to pandas on the other side of the world. And it was one of those things

when you're walking down the road and there's a I call them a pain in the arse with a clipboard. You know, anyone holding a clipboard in public you want to avoid. Anyway, I signed up to the World Society I get you on the way to the supermarket now. I know, I know. And you're like, oh I've got no money. And you're like, well you're

going to the supermarket. And you've just come out of the supermarket so you've just actually pulled your money out. But I'll be here on the way back when you come back out. They wait in the foyer too. There's no way to avoid them. Well played. I just try not to make eye contact.

I just stare down at the floor pushing the trolley. Do you, Julie? Yes, yeah, I do. I mean, it must be such a tough job and they are doing things for great causes. So it's awesome that they're doing it. Yeah, well, they're better humans than I am. Anyway, so for for many i was

probably about 12 months oh geez i paid a lot of stuff that i bought a lot of bamboo for those pandas this is like a wildlife fund that you sort of donated to for a while didn't you yeah it quickly turned to pandemonium because my account was getting drained by the pandas and so then to try and cancel a direct debit to the pandas, quite a process, isn't it? It's like the gangs. You're in for life. You're a lifer.

You start giving to the pandas. But pandas aren't on internet banking, are they? They can't get on there and log on. Yeah, no, it's a lot more complicated than you think, trying to pull a direct debit. So anyway, I managed to cancel that. But then I still get bombarded. I must have subscribed or been subscribed to the World Society for the Protection of Animals.

I don't even have animals, but I'm protecting them for some reason. And I get emailed every day. And so they're obviously like, oh, this guy, okay, he doesn't like the pandas anymore. We'll try and emotionally manipulate him with other animals. And so now the new ones are like the orangutans. The West Cambodian orangutans need your help. And I get emailed every day

about this. Guilty emails about this and I have no interest in protecting the orangutans but they have backstories. They're like meet two year old Barry. Barry's wife just ran off with his best friend. Now Barry lives alone in the forest.

And then you get guilted into paying for Barry. I imagine there's a lot of people out there that are subscribing to things and either they don't realise it or they just can't get out of it. I do the one where you get a free month trial often for streaming services and things like that. You love a month trial.

I'll get this, I'll binge watch this in a month trial but then sometimes I forget. You've got to set reminders. I know, and then I'm like six months later and I'm like month trial. I'll get this, I'll binge watch this in a month trial but then sometimes I forget. Gotta set reminders. And then I'm like six months later I'm like, I'm still paying for this? I haven't watched it since.

So to get the free month trial you do put in your credit card details. Yeah, you do. You cancel it and it cost you a thing before the time. I'm like,

yeah, I will remember that and I forget to put a reminder and I don't cancel it. It's on me. And then six months later I'm like, I'm still paying for this and I haven't watched it

since binge watching the show that I wanted to watch. Yeah, you are a sucker for a free trial. It's on me. And then six months later, I'm like, oh, I'm still paying for this, and I haven't watched it since binge-watching the show that I wanted to watch. Yeah, you are a sucker for a free trial. It's got free in front of it, but then every time he's putting that credit card in. But you think it's not going to cost you anything. You're like, yeah, okay, all right, I'll do it. And you don't.

You end up subscribing for way too long. And they rely on the shoddy admin from people like yourself. So what we want to open up are, what are you subscribed to that you just, you can't unsubscribe to? That's what we want to open up are, what are you subscribed to that you just, you can't unsubscribe to? That's what we want. Whether it's emails, whether it's streaming services. Are you still subscribing to a magazine? Like, are you still getting the TV Guide delivered?

Or are you getting a Next magazine or whatever magazine? You know, are they still coming week to week? And you'll be like, I've been doing it for ages, and I'm still gonna do it. Jeez, the TV Guide's been ploughing away, haven't they? TV's almost not a thing. And they're still making a magazine about it. I know, so good.

There's so many magazines, sadly, that are no longer with us. And then TV Guide's still going on the TV Guide. Who is getting the TV Guide and getting their viewing times from the TV Guide? Well, people are. Someone needs to tell them you can just click a button on the TV. Okay, all right. 0800, that's what are you subscribing to? 4487 is our text.

We'll kick it off with Sarah. How's the capital this morning? Good, thanks. How are you guys? Oh, we're doing well. Lovely to have you on the show. What are you subscribing to that you just can't unsubscribe to? Hello Fresh.

Oh, right. You're on the food boxes. Don't get me wrong, I love it. You have to cancel it at a certain time in the week, otherwise it's too late. Oh, then it just turns up at the door. I see. They're really good, though. Sometimes I've done my supermarket

shopping already. Yeah, right. HelloFresh. Okay, now listen, are they still a client? They're really awesome. I had the one where you put it on pause for a bit, and then I forgot about putting it on pause and then I bought supermarket shopping and then that turned up

and you're like, oh, it was a race against time that week to cook all the meals that happened in the freezer. It was a feast. Feast for a king and queen. Exactly. Wonderful stuff, Sarah.

Look after yourself. We did talk about the TV Guide. Who's still subscribing to the TV Guide? And we have someone. Rochelle, welcome to the show. Good morning. You're still a the TV Guide. Who's still subscribing to the TV Guide? And we have someone. Rochelle, welcome to the show. Good morning. You're still a loyal TV Guide subscriber. Yes, I am.

Someone actually gave it to me as a subscription present thing. I don't actually know how to cancel it for one, but the puzzles on the back are quite great. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I do like a bit of the Sudoku and the word crosses. I like the feedback for people right in, people right in with feedback on TV shows as well. I don't like Jeremy Wells' moustache.

Yeah, that's topical, isn't it? Yeah, no, my mother's greatest day, we were on the cover of the TV. I remember with Hilary Barry, and they dressed up Saint Bernard, and they put reindeer antlers on the St. Bernard. Wearing Christmas outfit.

It was a great day for us. Annie Pryor was like retire. You've hit the pinnacle. You're on the TV Guide. Lovely. Love the text here. My mum's still a TV Guide subscriber. It's not like she doesn't know how to use technology. Just prefers the paper form. A small miniature book. Yeah, well sometimes that's quite nice, right?

It's like having an actual newspaper as opposed to reading it online. If you see a TV guide, there's no way you're not picking that up and having a little flick. Yeah, yeah. It's a flicker. It's a flicker, that magazine. Who's on the phone, Judy? We've got Lynn.

We've got Lynn. Thank you for politely trying to mouth to me. No worries. I'm not a good mouth reader. I wouldn't be a good deaf person. Lynn, welcome. Hiya. Hi. How are you? a good deaf person. Lynn, welcome. Hiya. Hi.

How are you? What are you still subscribing to, Lynn? It's not a subscription. We've got car insurance, which we had still going for 18 months, and we'd sold the car prior. And we'd actually renewed it as well. That's very generous of you.

Not only will we sell you this vehicle, you'll have full cover for the... Yeah, we'll keep that going. But they would have got insurance. The new people would have got insurance on the car. It was the safest car on the road. Yeah, it was. Was this a mistake or was this generosity?

What was it? No, it was purely just all of the direct debits were coming out. We've got about four cars with the two kids and just didn't even realise what they were. Didn't even realise. It was a contents insurance, house insurance. Oh, I see. Okay. Oh, 800 the hits if you want Lynn to insure your car.

She'll happily pay for it for the next 18 months. We'll run a bit of a competition. You go and have a wonderful day, Lynn. Alright, cheers, guys. We're going to send Lynn out some Hell Pizza, the new Greedy Pig Pizza from Hell. It's packed with oh, it sounds awesome, slow-cooked pork, bally pineapple and jalapenos and a chipotle barbecue base as well.

You can get that right now. Broadcasting live and mostly awake. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the hits. Now, my wife Amanda, I don't know if this is something that happens in your household, Jono, but my wife Amanda, you know, the times that she's doing online shopping

or she goes to buy something, it's, you know, she comes home and she's like, do you like this? I'm like, yeah, but how much was it? That's usually my first question. We all know Ben, he likes to save a penny or a pretty penny or two. I just like to know what the price is.

He double glazed his windows just so the kids couldn't hear Mr. Whippy. Her first response to that is always, I saved 30% or I saved 40%. It's never like

exactly what it is. It was on special and I saved 30%. You get the percentage mark down on there. I get the sale. Yeah, you were like, but what was the

recommended retail value? How expensive was this before? You know, and if it is, if it's like a 30%, are these places making any money? I mean,

what's their business model if they're selling clothes for 40% off? Yeah, right. So you're constantly being told how much money you're saving. Yeah, and then the next

thing I get is, before I even get the price of it, I feel like I'm, it's weird. Amanda can do what she wants, she can do it, but I just like to know. Same as if I buy something. But the sexy shoes, she likes to describe it as, I can dress it up or dress it down.

Oh, yes. That's always her other one. These shoes, she's like, yeah. I can dress it up or dress it down. So it means that it can be used in all facets of life. This top, I can dress it up, I can dress it down. Wear it to work, I can wear it at home. It's a great bargain.

It's a justification thing, right? Yeah, and I guess it's a wonderful performance that takes place every time she arrives home from the mall. Yeah. And you get stuck into it. And to be fair with Amanda, she doesn't actually shop that much. I've got probably three to one clothing in our wardrobe than hers

because we were lucky enough to have a TV show for many years, so I've got probably three to one clothing in our wardrobe than hers because we were lucky enough to have a TV show for many years, so I've got clothing. So our wardrobe is like 80% mine and 20% hers. I'd like to imagine you when you do go shopping, because he said last week, he's like, I love spending time at the mall with Amanda. Three to four hours, that is a marathon. But the only reason is,

is because he likes to be standing by the EFOS machine as she's swiping that card. And I imagine you, you know when you have photos and you make that noise, the awkward. I imagine you doing that when the EFOS card's swiping. I mean, I did buy a shirt that I'm wearing today. That was my one purchase I've made. How much, 30% off that? I hope so.

Well, you dress it up, you dress it down. But I bought it without my wife Amanda and she's like she made that noise because she's not a big fan of the shirt

she feels like I'm wearing pyjamas it's got a whole lot of smiley face emojis on it I find the dangerous things bloody online shopping

isn't it just too easy too easy I'd sometimes arrive home and I was like what's this thing on my lawn

you like doing the online shopping but you never really buy anything. No, I always just put like 32 items in the checkout and then a moment of realisation comes over me and I'm like, what am I doing?

I do not need this San Francisco 49ers full length bodysuit that I've put in a checkout for no reason. And so then you click off it. You spend all your time just adding stuff to the cart. Imagine if you did that in a real shop. You'd just be like taking stuff up to the front, all the stuff.

Just an obnoxious shopper. And all their 32 people behind you with their trolleys will be like, and what are you pointing at, Jo? You're pointing at a website. No, I'm just pointing at all the probably about 20 tabs I have open of clothes that I want to buy, but I probably won't buy because I'm exactly like you. I just don't buy it. I look you. I just don't buy it.

I look online and I just don't do it. The confused shopper just waiting at the checkout, holding people up. Hi, well, Ben Boyce, good luck to you, my friend. Good luck to you. I don't know why I'm wishing you good luck. Good luck for the rest of the show. Well, thank you.

Good luck for life. Are you okay? Yeah, good luck. I hope you reach those goals, that five-year plan. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Let's do this.

Five words for 5K on the hit. You're only five words away from a massive payday. 745, that's the time you need to lock in every day for five words, $5,000. Our new game we play every day, we tell you five words, you tell us the words that pop into your head after those words,

you lock those words in and if they match up with our words, you win five grand. What are you laughing about? You literally said the word words about 30 times. I love it. Chris Morena from Southland, how are you? Yeah, good, mate. How are you doing? Oh, lovely, buddy. Great to have you on the show with us this morning. How's Invercargill today?

Oh, no, I'm not in Invercargill. I'm in Tiano. Oh, Tiano. Lovely. How's Tiano today? Sunny and warm. Sunny. Okay, sunny and warm.

Wow, already at 7.45 in the morning. Oh, nice. Now, you know how the game works? Yes. All right, you need to match five words with one of us. Who are you going to choose to make their way into the soundproof booth? I'll definitely have to go with Ben. He's definitely more reliable, sort of a health and safety guy.

Hey, mate, you know I can hear you. I've got headphones on. Definitely, I wouldn't pick that other loser. But I won't be able to hear you now, Chris. All right, I'll do my best for you. Hopefully we connect up and get five grand. I'm going to the soundproof booth. Every time you go into the soundproof booth, I think you're going to you. Hopefully we connect up and get five grand. I'm going to the soundproof booth.

Every time you go into the soundproof booth, I think you're going to emerge with a makeover, like Extreme Home makeover, but you somehow come out looking more dishevelled than old. All right, Chris, he's locked himself in the booth. You know what you need to do, my friend. Five words.

And the first word that comes into your head. Take your time, too too before you lock them in Okay mate Word number one Stiletto Stiletto Yeah Shoe

Shoe Good option. Flax. Bush. Not even beating around the bush locking in that one. Custard. Pie. Pie.

Arachnophobia. Spiders. arachnophobia spiders and the fifth and final word Chris mount sorry can you say that again mount m-o-u-n-t oh um

monganui monganui Oh. Um. Monganui. Monganui. All right, those are your five words. You're pretty happy? No. What? Yeah, let's do it.

Let's do it. What words are you shaky on there, Chris? Monganui. Well, there's a lot of mounts,'t there around the place alright let's release him from the soundproof booth come on out Ben boys come on out sometimes the lock gets a little

jammy there welcome back from the soundproof booth my friend jumping around a bit today blocking my ears just trying to think about things, clear my mind. You're a chumpy character anyway. I know. You always all edge.

Now, what Chris didn't tell you from Southland is that he was going to use the $5,000, just this isn't to add any pressure, he was going to use the prize money to buy himself some new fingers. Okay. He's lost all of his fingers from frantically dialing 0800 the hits to get through this competition so that finger transplant all relying on you anything you want to say to Ben Chris?

No just no Okay thanks for those touching words Get it right Ben come on mate get it right Good advice

I'm so nervous but I'll try my best Here we go. Word number one. Stiletto. Oh, I'm thinking a couple of things off the top of my head here. Oh, share your thoughts. Okay, first word that pops in was shoes, but also I think high heels as well.

But I'm going to go with my first word that pops in my head. Can I go shoes? Oh! Did we get it? One from one. Well, yeah, of course, you hit the ding. That's how the game works. Okay.

Oh, jeez, okay. Yeah, no, good. Unless that symbolises an incorrect answer to you. You're on the board. Oh, yeah, yes. Runs onises an incorrect answer to you. You're on the board. Oh, yeah, yes. Runs on the board. One from one. Flax.

Flax, you say? F-L-A-X. Bush. Yes! That being the sound of another correct ding. Chris, two down. You feeling good? Yep, feeling very good.

All right. Third word, custard. First word that popped into my head was square. Custard square. Oh! He went custard. What did you go, Chris? Pie.

Custard pie. It's turned to custard. Oh, no. Oh, no. Custard pie. It's turned to custard. Oh, no. Oh, no. It started so strong. As we'll do, we'll do this dance and go through the remaining words, see how you would have gone. Arachnophobia.

Spiders. And the fifth and final word, which is a tough one because there's so many on offer. Mount. Everest. No, you went Manganui. Oh, Chris, hey, thank you so much for playing. It was lovely to meet you.

You look after Tiano, and thank you very much for listening. No worries, boys. Thanks very much. Oh, another chance for someone to play five words for $5,000 tomorrow, 7.45. Add these two men together, and somehow you get three-quarters worth of a normal man. The Hits with Jono and Ben for breakfast. Bloody McCormack. Spy.

Know what's up. Spy.co.nz. Oh, Juliet, lovely to have you in. Time for your hourly update of half-truths and rumours about your favourite celebrities. What have we got, mate? So Emma Bunton, who, as you will know, is Baby Spice from the Spice Girls, has invited Kim Kardashian to join the band. Now, she was scrolling through Instagram the other day,

Emma was, saw that Kim had posted a photo of her dressed as Baby Spice, spat her tea out, as she said, and now is like, oh my gosh. Spat her dummy out? Oh, I like what you did there. Oh, that's nice. If she's still having a dummy at the age she is,

then that's appropriate. Yeah, that's nice. If she's still having a dummy at the age she is, then that's appropriate. Yeah, and now she said that she wants Kim to join them for their 25th anniversary reunion. Can she sing? Well, she tried to. I'm pretty sure she tried to.

Kim Kardashian tried to release a song and it was just shocking. Yeah, right. So maybe the other girls will be able to, you know, lip sync. Well, no, she'll be able

to lip sync and the other girls will just sing over top of her if that's the case. Because Victoria Beckham wants no part of it. Well, apparently. Yeah, I'm too good for you now. She doesn't need to do it, all right?

No. So, yeah, she's got a successful fashion line. They're off doing their own thing. So, yeah, probably like, hey, I've moved on from that part of my life. I feel like Kim, if she was to go into the Spice Girls, Posh Spice would probably be the one that she'd be most fitted to, you know?

She's quite, you know, looks all slick and wears all really high fashion clothes. But they haven't even auditioned this lady. I don't know if she can dance, sing. And they're already offering her a job. Yeah. You're right. It seems wild. I know. Well, the Kardashians the show is ending, so maybe this is

a new career move for Kim. It would be the best reality show looking for a new member of the Spice Girls. Imagine that. That would be very cool. Come on to that idea, mate. We'll pitch that to... I'd have to get all the Spice Girls on board to like to... And they'll be like, well, we'll just do the idea. Why are you...

Who are you? A, how did you get our details? Stop calling me. And B, why do you think you want to be involved in this? Have you got any singing people? No, no. Where do you fit into this story? You realise it's the Spice Girls, so you can't insert yourself.

No, I wasn't trying. I was just saying that. You'd be a producer. You're auditioning for a new member of the Spice Girls, and you get auditioned girl from all over the world to be the new Spice Girl. This guy, eh? Then they go on a tour and then they...

Then they marry each other on an island. Go and get marooned on an island or something. Yeah, that's a very good TV idea. I reckon go for it. There's some legs in that. And Angelina Jolie is the latest star to be on the cover of Vogue. And she talked about raising her six children

who she shares with Brad Pitt, which is a challenge in itself. I mean, six children's a lot. But she said that she's lacking all the skills to be a stay-at-home mother, because, you know, I think she always saw herself as not being a very good stay-at-home mother. But she said that she's managing well

because the kids are resilient, and they help her be a stay-at-home mother. I don't know how they would do that. They'd probably be like, Mum, stay at home. Be a stay-at-home help her be a stay-at-home mother. I don't know how they would do that. They're probably like, Mum, stay home. Be a stay-at-home mum. As a stay-at-home mum, do you have to stay at home? That's your boundary. You can't leave.

Is it like home detention? COVID's been probably very good for her, you know, living this out. And she also mentioned that because I think she's about 45 at the moment and she was on the trampoline with her kids the other day and they told her to get off because they're like, Mum, no, you're too old for this. But then she looks back on her career and she's about 45 at the moment, and she was on the trampoline with her kids the other day, and they told her to get off because they're like, Mum, no, you're too old for this. But then she looks back on her career, and she's like, well, I was an action star back in the day.

Surely I can handle a bit of trampolining. You're going to bust a hip, Mum. Now, here's a game we'll play. Can you name all of the Jolie Pits children? Oh, no. No. That's the end of the game. That was my reality TV show idea,

and apparently it's got no legs. No. That is spy. Do you want to try? No. Do you not know one of them? No. Gary, Stephen, Sharon.

I'm emailing the spy skills right now, guys. Okay, okay. I won't go down that any further. I won't play that game with you. Can you? No, but I Googled it and I was prepared to play the game, but obviously, you know, not in the mood. That's fine, that's fine.

Something succeeds, something's failed. Sometimes you want to name all the jolly pit kids and sometimes you just want to play the news. Yeah, yeah, no. Yeah, no. Yeah, no. The whole movie. Yeah, no. She'll be right and at the end of the day. Jono and Ben. to play the news. Yeah, yeah, nah. Yeah, nah. Yeah, nah. The home of yeah, nah.

She'll be right in at the end of the day. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. A lot of kids are returning to school this week in New Zealand. It seems to be staggered over this week and into early next week. No consistency to the start of the school year, is there? No. Well, I don't know why as well. It seems to be where they finished school last year.

Again, no consistency. We did the school pick-up yesterday, his first day of school for Oscar, my son, and gee, like dodgums out there, isn't it? It's like when you go to Rainbow's End of those dodgum cars. Yeah. Just wild. And the thing is with children, I don't want to cast stereotypes,

they all look the same. All kids look the same, especially when you put them in the same clothes. It's like trying to solve a Where's Wally puzzle or something. I took a kid home. We had dinner with her. It wasn't even my kid. I know you did.

My daughter, Indy, was very nervous about it. A bit anxious, which is understandable. Before starting school again yesterday, picked her up at the end of the day. It was awesome to see a big smile on her face. I was like, how was school? She was like, it was great. I was like, what did you do? She was like, I can't remember. I was like, but it's just...

You literally just walked out of there. She's like, oh, it was all, you know... Stuff. We did lots of stuff. It was great. And I was like, yeah, good. You had a good day. You learned stuff.

It was fun. But yeah, I was like, we just... You were just there. Tell me one thing. We got to Oscar and we were just grilling him. It was like a 20-minute question. Who do you mean? Who are your friends?

What did they tell you? What's the after school activities? Oh, the poor guy. It was like an inquisition, the Spanish Inquisition. So what we wanted to open up today is there will be parents out there who, as we see, they love their kids, but they also love seeing them walk into a school gate and not having to worry about them for six hours a day. Well, it can be a bit tricky though, can't it?

Especially with parents who are not on holiday having to juggle that whole situation. So sometimes going back to school is a good thing. They're getting to learn, they're getting to hang out with their kids. Yeah, but I'm like also the roads clog up. And I've pitched this for many years, let Google teach our kids. And the Ministry of Education hasn't

picked up the ball and run with that one. But I'll still keep persisting. So what we want to do is open up the anonymous parental back-to-school line where you're quite happy that your kids are at school and you can do your own stuff. Now, but for the safety of children's feelings, we're not out here to destroy childhoods, are we? No.

No, we'll keep you anonymous, okay? So no names, no looking in the eyes, no touching like that club you go to on a Friday night. You can change your voice if you want to change your voice. Basically, you just ring up and say,

let's find out the things that you're going to do with that time. Where a couple of days ago, you'd be looking after your kids. Yeah. What are you going to do when you've got time to yourself?

You've got six full hours. What are you going to do this day? Unfortunately, we don't have the facilities to change your voice and keep you anonymous. So you'll have to do to yourself. You've got six full hours. What are you going to do this day? Unfortunately, we don't have the facilities to change your voice and keep you anonymous, so you'll have to do that yourself. You'll have to put on your own voice changer. I'm looking forward to going home and having my phone and putting it down and knowing my phone will be where I put it down.

And not going, oh, it's been used to watch a TikTok video somewhere else in the house. Where's my phone? You feel like you're losing your mind. You're like, where's my phone? I'm sure I're losing your mind. You're like, where's my phone? I'm sure I'd put it right there and then go in there like, oh yeah. You know, I'm looking forward to that.

Just knowing my phone is exactly where I put it. These kids, they just assume everything in the house is theirs. It's mine. I was on the toilet the other day. Like, you know. Yeah, yeah. And where are you, Dad?

I'm just in the toilet. And it was almost like it was an invite for them to walk in. Like there's no, it's just another room to them. Hey, do I need to put some socks on? But yeah, we'll talk about this in just a few moments. Yeah, I think the question was like,

do you know how many dolphins react to earthquakes? I was like, no, no, we can talk about this. I'll just finish what's going on in here. So 0800 the hits, the anonymous parental back to school line. What are you going to do today with your time? Keep yourself anonymous. We do have Hell Pizza, I understand, to give away. Yeah, we do have some Hell Pizza up for grabs. So we'd going to do today with your time? Keep yourself anonymous. We do have Hell Pizza I understand to give away. Yeah, we do.

Hell Pizza up for grabs so we'd love to hear from you this morning. Let's go to the phones because we're opening up the parental back to school celebration line

and we couldn't think of any more topical song than one from 1980. Some parents having a celebration today I guess. Dropping their kids back. Has no artist done

a celebratory song since 1980 or are we just rolling with this? We can never do one better than this. It's a goodie. So we want to keep the parents anonymous. It's going to make it quite confusing when they go to them on the phone lines. So parent

number one is going to join us right now. The reason for the anonymity is we don't want to hurt children's feelings. Parent number one, you also need to disguise your voice because we don't have that technology available. Okay. I don't know that technology available. Okay. I don't know how to do it. That's enough.

You've got a very distinctive voice. But anyway, we'll keep rolling. What are you going to do today with the time that you would have been spending with the kids? Oh, where do I start? Horse riding, shopping, kids free, catching up with friends, gardening, delicious and less. Wow, you got it.

He's doing all that today. He can do it today. Horse riding, gardening, lunch, drinking. I might be the good parent and forget to pick him up from school. We never know. Yeah, go. Three o'clock. You got to get it all done before three o'clock.

It's a busy six hours. Parachuting, paragliding. And I'll do it, there's probably an order too. I wouldn't go drinking before the horse riding at all, you know, but anyway, I'll leave that to you.

Thank you very much, Anya. Oh no, that was with your anonymous. I mean, Anya Anonymous. We'll see you later. I'm good at this. Have a good one.

Thanks for listening, mate. Help me to come in your way, all right? All right, we'll go to parent number two, the parental back to school line. What do you want to do? What do you want to say?

Good morning. I am, honestly, do you know what? I'm just going to watch Netflix all day. I've had no time to watch The Queen's Gambit, so I'm going to binge that all day and get some regrets. Oh, it sounds like one heck of a day. You're going to live the life of a stoner. You're going to go inside.

I know, I can't wait. Go inside. Lovely day outside, but you'll be spending it inside, probably with the blinds shut, watching Netflix. Enjoy, all right? Thank you very much. And parent number three, welcome to the anonymous parental back-to-school line.

Disguise your voice, and what do you want to say? I don't go back till next week, so I'm quite jealous of everybody else this week. No one is disguising their voice. I stipulated voice disguising. And Nicole from Pocono, you're still in holiday mode. Oh, not really,

because I've been working from home through most of the holidays, so I can't wait to work in peace and shop in peace. The kids just aren't back. I tell you what, your school holidays have dragged on longer than a 1pm COVID conference when the journalists don't stop asking questions. They really have.

They've been very, very long. Well, good luck for the final week. We're going to send you out some hell pizza to try and make things easier, right? Thank you. To everyone pulling a sickie today, you're not fooling anyone. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. We're doing a competition

with Razine, Colour My World, where you basically get a room renovated, but the catch is your child has to come up with a colour scheme, and I think we've got

Laura on the line right now. How are you, Laura? You okay? Hi, we're good, thank you. Yeah, where are you? We're in the Waikato. Oh, lovely to have you on, and wonderful,, thank you. Yeah, where are you? We're in the Waikato. Oh, lovely to have you on and wonderful, wonderful. Now tell me, there was a wild rumour through the radio industry

that Hamilton didn't have radio for like nine years or something and we've just come back. Is that true? Well, it is Hamilton. Yeah, was that a thing? I don't know. Didn't someone, like the satellite or something, burn down and then no one fixed it for like... Every time I've driven through Hamilton and been in Hamilton, there seems to be radio working. Okay, well, I don't know. Didn't someone, like the satellite or something burn down and then no one fixed it? Every time I've driven

through Hamilton and been in Hamilton, it seems to be radio working. Okay, well I made that up. Now Laura, are you brave enough to enter this Resene Colour My World competition? The kids might as well pick a colour they like. Yeah, might as well. So you know the deal, you know the T's and C's,

the decoration and the deciding of the colour is all up to your children and what room they choose too. So what are they favouring? What room would you like to paint, Anna? My room. Your room. See, this is a good tactic by the kids because we've had someone else nominate their kids to do this because we were thinking, oh, it'll be the lounge, it'll be your bedroom. But the kids, their own bedroom

is a great decision because then they get the colour they want. Yep, my 10-year-old, she wants her room black, but you want a different colour, do you, Anna? Yes, green.

What colour? Green. Green. Oh, what sort of green? Are we talking light green, dark green, what? Some dark green. Oh, dark.

Forest green. Forest green. Oh, nice. Not bad. Now, this is a loophole in our competition. This is not what we wanted. We don't want kids painting their rooms the colours they wanted. We wanted lounges.

Yeah, kitchens. Dining rooms. Yeah, bathrooms. All those sorts of things. But you're right. They found a loophole. Well played. Well played.

Well played, children. You win this one. Hey, well, you're in the draw, Laura, and a Resene Colour Specialist could be coming over and painting Anna's room forest green. Babies land on mummy. Babies land on mummy, do they? Yes, they do.

That's a common occurrence. Yeah, yeah. Thank you so much, Laura and Anna. Lovely talking to you guys, and good luck. You're in the drawer for a paint job. Awesome. Have a great day. We apologise in advance. Sorry about that. Sorry about that. I'm sorry to rope you into this.

Sorry you've been dragged into this. Shono and Pam, breakfast on the heads. The heads. Yesterday on the show, we were talking about the Bachelorette and how when all the Bachelors came out to meet Lexi, who's the Bachelorette for the first time, they all had to try and impress her with almost,

it was almost like a talent show on a red carpet. Some of them had, one had a basketball, spinning a basketball, another had a guitar, was singing a song. And we wondered on the show, if you had a, what would your talent be if you could come out and try and impress someone? And for a lot of great calls we got yesterday,

a lady who has a Guinness World Record for owning the most amount of zebra related items and then we had our dear friend from North Canterbury who phoned up with the alarm noise that she can make with her mouth and also Remy, who called

through. Yeah, now he's from France originally, he's here in New Zealand working for the champagne company Mom and he can basically... I thought it was Mum Yeah, New Zealand's all said Mum but it's originally, he's here in New Zealand working for the champagne company, Mom. And he can basically- I thought it was Mum. Yeah, New Zealand's all said Mom, but it's Mom. Yeah. And he can basically, his trick is that he can open a bottle of champagne with-

A sword. Yeah, like a saber, like a sword. And geez, I tell you what, he phoned through yesterday and just, you couldn't get a more French person, could you? It was like a croissant made love to the Eiffel Tower and they created Remy. He wasn't born, he was sculpted. You're very infatuated by Remy.

Have a listen. Good morning, guys. Bonjour. Bonjour, Remy. The most sophisticated sounding person we've ever had on this program. Thank you. How is it going for you guys? It's going great. I'm in love with Remy. More Remy on the show. How about instead of Jono and for you guys? Oh, it's going great. I'm in love with Remy. More Remy on the show.

How about instead of Jono and Benny, we'll have Jono and Remy? Now, Remy works in the same building as us and after the show yesterday, we got to witness him doing Sabraj, which is when he opens a champagne bottle with like a little sword. It was incredible.

Now, obviously, it's on our social media, Jono and Ben at the hits breakfast uh but have a listen to this dear god this is all over hey we'll be fine hey joey you went do you did a bit of a floor suck on well it just kicked him it came exploding out much like my love for Remy. It came exploding out of the bottle like a fountain. And we're in the boardroom, like, it's carpeted. I was like, this is not a good look.

Yeah, we're like, should we go outside? We're like, oh, we'll do it. He looked spectacular, so you can check it out. It smells horrendous this morning. But he brought down a couple of bottles of champagne and afterwards we sort of sat there and it's quite an open sort of meeting room and we had a drink of champagne. Did you start drinking? I had to go. It's an open bottles of champagne and afterwards we sort of sat there and it's quite an open sort of meeting room and we had

a drink of champagne. Did you start drinking? I had to go. It's an open bottle of champagne. Boss Todd was like, oh, I'll pop it. And we sat around. It didn't take much for Boss Todd to pop it. He smelled that a mile away. And this was like nine o'clock in the morning. We'd finished our show of course, but everyone, a lot of people arriving at work, people walking past and they're like,

oh, what's the celebration? We're like, oh, no celebration. We just had the hottest French dude ever in the office slice the top off this bottle. Some interns who just arrived at work

here, their first day of work, this is like, there's 12 of them. They're like, what is this, a normal thing? Todd's like, don't look Ben in the eyes, mate.

He's ordered his champagne. This is what happens every day. Welcome to the good life, kids. You'll get used to this as we're drinking

French champagne. It's never happened in the whole time we've been here. Tuesday morning. Oh, Tuesday morning. day. Welcome to the good life, kids. You'll get used to this. As we're drinking French champagne. It's never happened in the whole time we've been here. Tuesday morning. Oh, Tuesday morning. What a start to the Tuesday. Well, listen, thank you, Remy, for gracing us with your presence. He's just a wonderful human being, Remy. He could say anything and it would sound romantic.

He could even go, I'm going to the petrol station to get a pack of smokes and smash a mince and cheese pie. And it would sound like the most romantic literature ever. Yeah, you're right. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on

Instagram. The A to Z of New Zealand. Something we do every day on the show, we call a different town or city in New Zealand, we call one a day, we do it alphabetically, and we're slowly calling every town or city in New Zealand. We call one a day. We do it alphabetically. And we're slowly calling every town and city in New Zealand learning about each place. Yes.

Now, we're heading to Kuro today, which is a small town in the Waitaki district of New Zealand located 80 kilometres from Wamaru. Now, Kuro, you may or may not know, gave birth to Richie McCaw out of its sweet, sweet uterus and out popped one of the greatest New Zealanders ever to grace our presence. Kuro is a location where you hammer a fence post in with your bare hands and then you celebrate by wrapping those hands around a bear.

And by bear, I mean a wild animal and squeezing the liquid out of it and then drinking that. That is Kuro and that is where we're heading now for A to Z. That's Kuro, Kelly speaking. Hi, Kelly, how are you? Good, how are you? Jono and Ben from the Hits radio station here. How are you? We're phoning every town and city in New Zealand one a day,

and today's kudos turn. Come on down. Go Kura. Love it. Well, how long have you lived there? Only about five years. I'm an import, so. Oh, right.

Where did you come from? Good old Rakaia. Oh. Oh, yeah. Have you rung there yet? You've had enough salmon, have you? Oh, yeah, that's the place. A little bit.

Too much salmon. I've got to get out of this town. Yeah. Richie McCord, do you see him? He's around there, isn't he? Yeah, that's his hometown, isn't it? Well, actually, I'm looking at him right now across the road. Are you?

There's a sign. Oh. I was like, man, this is a small town. Run over there. Hand him the phone. Yeah. Do they have a statue of him there? Yeah, a statue form, yeah.

What do you mean? Okay, you don't sound completely sold on this Reggie McCaw monument. What do they have? It attracts people, so it's all good. What is it? What is it, though? Is it not a statue, though? Oh, it's just like an overgrown cutout of him in his uniform.

Oh, right. It feels like that. But he's probably so humble that he probably wouldn't want a proper statue, but it would be great to have one, wouldn't it? Is it a cardboard cutout? To be honest, I actually don't know. I haven't really gone and investigated it that much because I just look at it every day.

Is it across the road? Yeah. How far away is that? 50 metres. 50 metres. Too far. Too far. Too far to go across. I was just going to say, could you run across and just feel what it's made out of

and come back and tell us? I might lose you. I don't know how far this wee phone goes. Okay, well, let's see. Let's test it to its limits. What is this Richie McCall monument made out of? Is it cardboard? Is it...

What do you reckon, Ben? I reckon core flute's quite a durable sort of... Oh, yeah. A lot of them are made out of core flute, especially if it's outside in the weather conditions. Core flute's not bad. It's waterproof. But I'll walk across and have a look for you.

Okay, thank you. Not if I lose you. Yeah, no, so the phone, it's crystal clear right now. Oh, yeah, I'm reading here, large cutout on the core from the 2011 World Cup still sits in the town. Yeah, well, there you go. And you're still there.

I mean, you're 50 metres away from where this phone is situated and it's still working. Yeah. So, yeah, no, it's sort of... Well, actually, I don't even know what that's made out of. We don't know. Like plastic on steroids.

Oh, yeah. Oh, plastic on steroids. Okay, so I'm picking it's like a hardened core fluid. Is it quite thick? Yes. Well, reasonably thick. Yeah. Do you want to give it a knock for us?

Yeah, it's just plastic. Oh, yeah. I can hear that. Yeah, it, reasonably thick. Yeah. Do you want to give it a knock for us? Yeah, it's just plastic. Oh, yeah. I can hear that. Yeah, it's quite hard. Yeah. Thank you so much for your time. No trouble. Thank you.

And hopefully when we come to Kudo, we'll get to meet you. Okay. Thanks, guys. Thank you. Bye. Warning. This show contains traces of Jono and Ben. The Hits with Jono and Ben for breakfast.

Scrolling through your feed. All right. So these are the news stories from overnight, and I tell you what, here's to news. What Dean Barker is to sailing. Gives it a good, honest crack, but it never quite works out. Aw, I'm sad for Dean Barker. I know I'm sad for Dean Barker, but he does give it a good, honest crack. No, yeah. And it never works out for him.

We won back in the day with Team New Zealand. I mean, Russell Cootes. Was he captaining the boat then? He had the last race that we won. That's right. Yeah, he was a very young up-and-coming sailor at the time. He's one of those guys who's never aged, Dean Barker. He looks great.

Yeah, no, I wasn't able to go at him. I thought you were. I don't get offended, but I get offended for Dean Barker. No one says anything bad about Dean Barker. Listen, don't you worry about Dean Barker, mate, because he's not worrying about you. Now, lots of talk this week about the government's new Climate Change Commission. So it's a plan for New Zealand to cut back on the country's emissions,

and it includes the cutting back of gas. Now, in four years' time, there'll be no new natural gas connections to any network for residential or businesses, and no LPG bottles after 2025. So that means that the gas barbecue, the Kiwi Classic gas barbecue, may not be a thing. What's going to happen?

You went and bought a jumbuck, remember, for a barbecue? Yeah, it was something that was from a hardware store that was, you know, I was like, I'll cover 100 bucks, it'll be fine, but I got shamed by my Weber, my Weber lover. You know how people call Weber? I've got a Weber. I don't, a couple hundred bucks, it'll be fine. But I got shamed by my Weber, my Weber lover. You know how many of them are Weber? I've got a Weber.

I don't have a Weber. No, but who are they? People who have a Weber, they're on another level. You get shamed. I'm like, this thing is doing its job. This is cooking sausages. It's doing everything right. They frown down upon you from their barbecue ivory tower, don't they,

if you've got a gas bottle? Oh, yeah. No, we cook. Last time we put a beer in a chicken and we cooked that one we shoved a can of uh craft lager from wellington from teatro yeah and we put it inside a chicken's rectum and boy the flavors just resonate through the weber yeah i mean the rivers they look i really do want one too they look like amazing barbecues but i was just like hey we'll just get one you know because my last barbecue I didn't clean it as well

over the summer and then you came back and you're like... But that adds flavour to it too, I find. Doesn't it? Or food poisoning, one of the two.

But I hate, excuse my ignorance, I didn't even realise gas was that bad for the environment. No, I didn't either. I mean, you talk about petrol cars

and things like that but I didn't even know gas was, yeah, like you say, was that bad. The media have focused quite a lot on

flatulating cows. Yeah. You know, we put a lot of heat on them. Yeah. But I never knew natural gas was, yeah, like you say. The media have focused quite a lot on flatulating cows. Yeah. You know, we put a lot of heat on them. Yeah. But I never knew natural gas was. It's going to be quite tricky for a lot of restaurants, I imagine. Of course. You know, because a lot of their, you know, not only their equipment,

but also their own gas, their own water and cooking and stuff. So it's going to be very interesting to see how they navigate the next few years. So everything's going to go electric, I assume. Electric barbecues, electric ovens for commercial kitchens. Yeah, eventually electric cars as well. And Joe Biden, his first presidential meeting with the Queen, Queen Elizabeth II, could be happening in a matter of months. So the Queen, of course, 94, he's 78,

and they're going to be meeting at Buckingham Palace ahead of the G7 summit in June. Well, they have to do that about three in the afternoon, just before bedtime for both of them. Yeah, I know. They're like, oh, I'm going to turn in. It's do that about three in the afternoon, just before bedtime for both of them. Yeah, I know. Oh, well, they have turned in. It's four o'clock in the afternoon. It'd be lovely. Do you know, I just see

sad news too, sir. Tom Moore passed away. I've just seen on the news. Tom Moore being knighted by the Queen with an oversized sword. And I'm like, this old guy is getting, and she's an old lady with a sword. I'm like, this is a recipe for disaster. She does a great job, the queen. She does, and that wouldn't be like those swords.

Yeah. A lot of core strength in that wonderful queen of ours. Jono and Ben, or as they're known in the office, those two. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the hits. We're just talking about the gas situation where you're saying no gas barbecue bottles by 2025 and potentially no gas by 2050. That's what's being proposed. Yeah, it's a proposal at the moment.

And I heard, and I don't know if this is fact, because we're part of the Paris Climate Change Agreement, our country, that if you don't quite meet the mark, you can pay almost like credit, some of us say. Some guilt money. You're like, oh, it's 50 bucks, sorry, mate. What was the thing? You signed up with a no drinking during February or something?

What was it called? FebFast. Yeah. And I was it called? FebFast. Yeah. And I was an ambassador for FebFast and I had to have a whole month of not drinking. And I got to day two and I was like, this is just never going to happen. But then I looked on the website and the T's and C's

and it's like, oh, you can make a donation every time. Which goes to good cause. Have a drink. Boy, did I donate that much. So maybe that's what New Zealand will end up doing. You go, oh, we didn't quite make it, but here's the money. Got it to a good cause.

Buy yourself something nice. Buy yourself another Rifle Tower, Paris or something. That's what us. Yeah. Listen, this morning I've come to a stark realisation. I've hit a stage in my career of my life. The wild eyebrow stage. Now it's been going on.

It's been seeding itself in for the last 12 months and we've mentioned it a couple of times. We have. And you know, the older I get, the more I realise my eyebrows aren't on the same team. They're all playing different games, they're heading in different directions. It's like, at one stage they all met up and had a party and then they're like, oh that's enough, we'll all go home now and they're all headed off in different directions. Some have taken a longer time to get home than others. Others a short trip, others a long trip. And they're slowly transforming into the bristles of like a 10-year-old broomstick, you know?

Well, you just can't, I just can't even brush them down. You thought it was shaved, didn't you, at one stage when you went to the barber? Yes, by a professional. I sat in the barber's chair and the guy was like, Would you like to shave the eyebrows? And he said it in a tone as if this was a common occurrence. Well, maybe he saw what was going on. They haven't recovered since that day. And I took the advice of a professional. And he just cleaned, it was me to host the musical.

I had no eyebrows. They had to paint on eyebrows. And they haven't recovered from their day. You traumatised us, buddy. Now I'm paying the price for it. So I've tried to start shampooing and conditioning them just to calm them down. Are they straggly, are they?

Yeah, I've just got wayward ones. And so that's the only hair I've got on my head. So I spend my mornings shampooing and conditioning eyebrows and then give them a little brush for five minutes in the mirror. I'm just got wayward ones and so that's the only hair I've got on my head. So I spend my mornings shampooing and conditioning eyebrows and then give them a little brush for five minutes in the mirror. Just get a little comb over from time to time.

Maybe you can grow them quite long and then sort of comb the back of the top. Brush the back of my hair, comb over from my eyebrows. There you go. Sharon, who we used to work with, she used to get tattooed. It's quite common these days.

You get the tattooed eyebrows which are quite strong at first and then they sort of fade and they look awesome but at the start

we're like oh we loved mocking her we're like here comes Bert and Ernie from Sesame Street she did look like

a Sesame Street character when she was like shut up and they do look good after a couple of days but there were

two fun days where she looked surprised you should be surprised to see us thanks Big Bert she hated us when we were doing that two dads just trying She looks surprised. You should be surprised to see us. Thanks, Big Bird. She hated us when we were doing that.

Two dads just trying to fill some airtime. Some may say it's pointless, but the main thing is it fills in some airtime for us. That is the main thing. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. Spy, go WhatsApp spy.co.nz. Listen, from an early age, she was spreading gossip and malicious rumours around the playground. Now she gets to do it for a job. Spy with Juju.

What's going on? So, Charli D'Amelio, she is one of the biggest TikTok stars in the world. I think she's only 16 or 17. She rose to fame very quickly on it. So, if you don't know who she is, your kids are probably all over her. Your kids love her, Ben, do they? Yeah, yeah. Everyone.

She's the new thing. It's amazing her, Ben, do they? Yeah, yeah. Everyone. She's the new thing. It's amazing how, like, there's so many followers. But there are so many people on TikTok, you know, doing similar things and dances. It's amazing how some people just become the people that you're like, everyone follows. Yeah. You know, the stress of my pre-Christmas was having to find Charli D'Amelio merch. Oh, yeah. We bought a T-shirt from the States. Did you go?

Yeah. I had to go to the, oh, no, I won't say. I will say. I couldn't find it on the website. I couldn't get it. So then what I did is I ripped some images off.

Oh, no. And I took it to one of those things in the mall, you know. Did you? Oh, did you really? You wouldn't tell the difference. Amazing. That is quite smart, though.

Yeah. I applaud you. And Poppy, she will not take off that. Illegal illegal Charlie D'Amelio merch. Hey, maybe don't wear that one too much. Yeah, knock off. It's a photo, just sort of cover, you know. I feel like the FBI would pop out of a bush and arrest her.

Well, Charlie D'Amelio, on Twitter a few days ago, the other day, a hashtag was trending, hashtag hair for Charlie. And Charlie D'Amelio then tweeted, I'm looking through the hair for Charlie hashtag, and oh my goodness, you are all so sweet to me. You have no idea how much your kind words warm my heart. I'm so lucky to have you all. Turns out the hashtag wasn't for Charlie D'Amelio.

It was for Charlie XCX, who is another singer whose friend sadly... Boom! Clap, ba-ba-da-ba. Don't know the rest of the words to her song. She was even there. I'm so fancy. She sang chorus in that, you know. Yeah, and so Charli XCX's friend passed away, unfortunately, and so everyone, all of her fans were hashtagging here for Charli.

But then in comes Charli D'Amelio, who goes, oh, yeah, thanks so much, guys. her fans were hashtagging here for Charlie but then in comes Charlie D'Amelio goes oh yeah thanks so much guys and now Twitter's roasting Charlie D'Amelio for assuming that it was about her the poor girl

you can see where the confusion comes from it's a mistake that any Charlie can make but then surely all the messages would have been

our condolences sorry for your loss and she'd be like oh thanks for your kind words I lost four Twitter followers or something. It was a big loss. So maybe a bit more of a thorough check from Charlie D'Amelio would have fixed that issue.

Well, if I know the internet, they will not be mocking her, which is good. No. And Rita Ora, who is a judge on The Voice Australia, she has been granted lavish five-star accommodation for her quarantining. And it's a $500 per night penthouse in Sydney that she gets to stay in for two weeks. Of course, she would get, you know, something like that. She's hosting The Voice, isn't she? I understand.

So they got her in to do that. And listen, everyone at the moment loves the story of a celebrity getting special treatment in quarantine. But let's face it, they're a better class of person. They deserve special treatment. There was one about Matt Damon a while back because he's filming, I think he's in the Taika movie they're filming over in Australia. And he was like, he was paying for all the special service,

the security, the medical thing. Like he was footing the bill for all this stuff. It was costing no one anything. It's like, well, what's the problem here? Yeah, if he's paying for it, then surely. We don't want Matt Damon staying at the Mouldy Motor by the airport. He's better.

He's better. Put me in there. Yeah, true. Put me in there. And then the Abercrombie story last night, which I found unusual for the media to hop on. Now, if you missed this, he's one of the New Zealand Breakers basketball players,

and his family have just come back from Australia, because he's playing in Australia with the Breakers. They can't come home. And his family, like his wife, and he's got three kids, and they were in a single room, basically, and two of the kids have autism. So they applied for dispensation to do the rest of the quarantine at home, which

other people have done along the way, and their case was looked at, and they were granted it. Not based around who he was, just based on the medical. the quarantine at home, which other people have done along the way. And their case was looked at and they were granted it. Not based around who he was, just based on the medical. But then the headlines like, sports star gets to quarantine in his $3 million home. I don't know why we needed to know the price of his home. Yeah. It's always good to know that stuff.

So yeah, it was a bit... It was a bit like a non-story that everyone was... Yeah, and I think too, autistic children can be at times quite noisy. And so for the people in the adjacent rooms in that hotel could have been disrupted as well. Yeah, they did say that. They said it wasn't just for our kids, but also for the families around, for our family and the other families. So it seemed like the sensible decision was made.

I was like, why is this even a story? Yeah. Why is this a story? Unusual. Unusual. Hey, you know who I blame? Us, the media. Why is this a story? Unusual. Unusual. Hey, you know who I blame? Us,

the media. It's our fault. It's your fault, Ben. I was going to say. And that's the media for you. And that's five more. You can head to

thehits.co.nz. Experts in semi-accurate, half-remembered information. Vaguely known information, but maybe not correct. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on The Hits.

And it's Rihanna, you're on The Hits. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the hits. It is Rihanna. You're on the hits. Jono and Ben, 8.55 on your Wednesday. So that entire song, she's politely asking, please don't stop the music. But then there was some producer who had to make the call at some point. We've got to stop it now. The song's got to stop.

It's going to be a recording session that never ends. Yesterday, I was talking about my daughter, Indy, who's very particular about her days of the week underpants. She's got to wear the right day, you know, the right name. It's got the names, the days of the week. Yeah, you with your days of the week socks, you've got a Monday with a Sunday. You're all over the place.

You're higgledy-piggledy. But a friend of mine, he said he heard that yesterday. And his son is the same. And when he was little, his son was about three years old, they were in like a barbershop. He just got his hair cut. And the guy was looking at the computer going, oh, what day is it again today with the appointment?

And his son dropped his pants. It's Tuesday. He pointed at his undies. Oh, thanks, mate. They carried on in the middle of the barbershop. That's great. You know, there's an age where that's cute. And then you sort of get it beyond the age where it's, you know.

You couldn't do that now. Yeah, public nuisance, which I tried to tell you around what day of the week it was yesterday in where it's, you know. But you couldn't do that now. Yeah, public nuisance, which I tried to tell you around what day of the week it was yesterday in town and got sent to prison. Now, tomorrow on the show, Five Grand,

up for grabs again. We're going to talk to a lady in Blenheim who's followed by Ariana Grande, Chrissy Teigen and Reese Witherspoon on social media.

Yeah, she joins us after eight. You have a wonderful Wednesday, New Zealand. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from six on The Hits and via the iHeartRadio app. Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys weekdays from sex on the hits and via the iHeartRadio app.

Jono and Ben on the hits breakfast. Friends of Skinny.