Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - February 05 - Is This The Worst Thing You Could Do While Sitting Your Driver's License?!

Episode Date: February 4, 2021

How wonderful is that feeling on a Friday going into a long weekend... NOTHING BETTER! You may be aware of the huge song at the moment called Driver's License by Olivia Rodrigo, and it got us thinking about our shocking driver's license tests. But surely we aren't the only shockers! Breaking arms, failing after 50 metres; you guys had some brilliant stories. We also called a small town called Lawrence for the A to Z of New Zealand and chatted to the chef of a sheep shearing gang. What she serves them is probably more than the Hulk's diet. Finally, we caught up with Hilary Barry who is covering for Laura McGoldrick on The 3pm Pick Up, and she had a bit of a bone to pick with Ben.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Hey, it's podcast. Yeah, welcome to the podcast.

Good to have you with us. You were saying before there was some people that used to be your neighbours living overseas. Now listen to the podcast. Hold on, Ben Boyce. If I can just pull you up on a new format you wanted to introduce. Sorry, yeah. Where you liked to tell the fine listener, the most sophisticated of all podcast listeners to this show,

what was coming up in the podcast before we get into chat to chat. I did kind of set up the formatics of this and now I've forgotten about it because I got excited about the people overseas. So they can wait. They can wait. Today on the show we talk about the new big song in the world, Driver's Licence, and we've got some great tales of people, how they screwed up their driver's licence when they went to it.

A lady who ran over a dog and still got her licence during the test. Yeah, exactly. As well as that five words five thousand dollars it's our new game we're playing on the Hits

you got very very close it was tense today Debs was wonderful Debs wanted five thousand dollars so she could finalise her divorce so there was

you know there was a lot of pressure on the line you see how that goes very shortly and the last thing I want to mention on the podcast you won't believe what that goes very shortly. And the last thing I want to mention on the podcast,

you won't believe what shearers in the South Island are people that shear sheep eat on a daily basis. We phoned this lady at random down south and she was providing

the meals for all the shearers and my goodness me. I wouldn't eat that in a week. No. They eat this daily. They have,

you think of any meal time they're having a meal at that time i think they've invented new meal times to have meals and they finish off going to the pub at the end of the day no so well yeah check all that out on the podcast now back back to the uh the chit chat well listen where i grew up uh next door to us there was a british couple uh carol and laurie who listened to the podcast. Hello, Carol and Laurie. Hi, guys. Well, mum and dad became dear friends with Carol and Laurie, and she was a diplomat, Carol, for the British Embassy.

Right. So she would get stationed all around the world. I think they'd come from Istanbul previously, and now they're stationed in Washington, D.C. Oh, right. As a diplomat for Britain and Washington. like Istanbul previously and now they're stationed in Washington DC alright as a diplomat for Britain and Washington

and her and her husband Laurie listen to the podcast and he's a big Hot Rod fan oh nice when I was a kid growing up

Laurie would take me for drives in his Hot Rod oh cool and we lived on a near a road called Long Drive but he was like

more like Short Drive in his Hot Rod and I always appreciated that as a child. I was like, that's good gear, Laurie. That's nice stuff. That's good gear. Oh, that's good.

I enjoyed Washington, D.C. Yeah. We went over there and saw them when I was a kid. Right. In Washington. Yeah. And he took me around the monuments,

you know. Oh, yeah, there's awesome stuff here around by the White House and there's the Washington Monument. Yeah. There's the Lincoln Memorial. There's all sorts of really,

they do really well in America to honour, you know, like some of those great presidents and moments and stuff. But we were doing it at night, it was like 11 o'clock at night and Laurie popped out at the Abraham Lincoln Memorial

and gave me a hell of a fright. I don't know if that's what Abe wanted at his memorial. No, but it was fun. It was fun. Enjoy the podcast. If they listen to this one, they might. Carol and Laurie, this one's for you.

They might have skipped this podcast, but if not, enjoy this, and the rest of you enjoy the podcast. Two dads just trying to fill some airtime. Some might say it's pointless, but the main thing is it fills in some airtime for us. That is the main thing. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. Now I drive alone past your street. It is the biggest song in the world right now.

Olivia Rodrigo, Driver's License. It is the hits, Jono and Ben, 712. We're just actually talking about what that song was playing about. Not getting your driver's license. Oh, I know, yeah. While my inner 15-year-old teenage girl was loving that song, you were mocking me because I had to sit my driver's license multiple times. You got, yeah, you were like,

I was like, why did you have to sit it so many times? You were like, the first time. I was too excited. I was too excited. I was going to a you were like, I was like, why did you have to say that so many times? You were like, the first time. I was too excited. I was too excited. I was going to a big day out. I was just excited. Yeah, I was going to a music festival and my excitement levels were too high for me to concentrate and take a driver's licence test.

Now, when I did it, Juliet, back in the day, you actually took your driver's licence on a horse and car. Oh, wow. Yes, and you had to etch your answers into a stone wall. Oh, very old school. No, they did have a thing. It was like a scratchy thing. That's right, the scratchy.

You'd get them at the BP station too, couldn't you? You could buy them, and then they were the tests that you would take later. You didn't know which one you were going to get, so you could scratch away and work out if you knew the road rules. I don't know how I failed a second time, but I did somehow. Then third time, the same guy was like, come on, you can do this. The guy behind the counter sort of giving me a pe time, but I did somehow. Then third time, the same guy was like, come on, you can do this.

The guy behind the counter sort of giving me a pep talk before I did it. And I think I got it the third time. But I'm a menace on the roads. I shouldn't have my driver's license. Yeah, I know. I'm very surprised. They shouldn't have given it to you.

The only positive about these hours, these work hours, is I drive to work and no one else is on the road. That's good, because I feel sorry. And you just don't like sitting still. You can see why you're all over the place. I'm erratic. I'm impatient, which is not good for driving. Good if I'm in a Formula One team.

Yeah. Or like a delivery driver for a food service who promises under 10 minute delivery or something. But yeah, because it was a big line of traffic. I was driving with you one day and you're like, oh yeah, this happens. And then suddenly you're fed off through like a wash world, through a fruit store, through like a supermarket,

car park, riding around and you're linked. Drove through a retirement village. I don't know if it saved us any time. Over a golf course. You were still moving and kept going.

You were tailing me down the motorway, remember? Just constantly changing lanes. Oh, this lane. We'll go this way. Oh no, we're back in here. It was like I was tailing you.

You were trying to get away from me. My sister, speaking of driver's licence, she had to get her photo taken, yeah, as you do for your driver's licence, and she got bitten by a mosquito on her eyelid. And that morning, she woke up and her eye was very, like, just big and big. Have you guys got Photoshop?

Yeah. Have you got, like, an Instagram filter you can put over this? Yeah, you can just put over that. She's sort of in there with this massive sort of red blotchy sort of bung eye. But you, I don't know, you were acting all high and mighty as if you're, like, Scott Dixon over there. Yeah, true. Who's crashed, has written off his two cars in his own driveway.

So I don't really, I can't really talk right now. He had a car roll out of his driveway and across two lanes of traffic. It's very scary. And he's like, I left the handbrake on. It's like, well, no, you didn't. Otherwise the car wouldn't have rolled backwards down your driveway. But we want to know this morning,

off the back of the number one song in the world right now, Driver's Licence, what happened? What was the funny thing that happened when you tried to take your driver's licence? Like, Jono, did you fail multiple times? Or did something, like I tried to, like at the end I was doing great driving around, it was all good,

and the guy's like, just back it into the park. And I was kind of a little bit over the lines, and the guy's like, you don't do that all the time, do you? And I'm like, nah. He's like, oh yeah, all good. And I was like, oh, thank goodness for that. You know, because I didn't quite get it,

you know, parked back in there. I don't reckon I'd pass it now if I had to go back and do it. The practical or both probably? Just the whole process. Because you forget there's so much stuff you don't remember and they're like, what do you do if a truck with blinding lights is coming towards you? And I always go, do you just steer straight into the lights?

But apparently you meant to look to the side of the road. Did you know that? When you're blinded by the you meant to look to the side of the road. Did you know that? When you're blinded by the lights, you look to the line on the left to you. Oh, I suppose that's it. That's in the road code. That's in the road code. You should know that. Yeah, a lot of it makes sense rather than staring directly at the lights.

I can't see. Really bright, but if I look at them longer. So what happened when you took your driver's licence? We'd love to hear from you this morning. 0800 the hits to the phone number 4487 on the text. Ah, jeez, looking at the text machine, which has blown up on 4487, there's a lot of people who shouldn't be driving

out there on the roads after their driver's licence tests. We'll start with Mel in Tauranga. Moreno, Mel, what happened? I was sitting my restricted for the first time and it was all going It was all going really really well And then I got re-ended at a red light So someone driving to the back of you

Yeah and it wasn't my fault Like nothing I had done But I really panicked Like I really got a fright And I just went straight through the red light So you got nudged and went And caused a five car pile up in the intersection straight through the red light. Oh! So you got nudged and went, oh! Yeah. And caused a five-car pileup in the intersection.

No, but, yeah, he failed me because I went through the red light. But you were like, the guy behind you, I panicked, I panicked. I know. And he's like, yeah, well, you don't panic when you're driving.

Didn't you panic? We all panic. You were panicking? It's your car. You should be panicking. Yeah, you wouldn't be panicking right now. Oh, Mel, good on you, mate. I'm so happy to send you out some Mel Pizza, all right?

Okay, awesome. Good on you. Or Mel Pizza, as it could be called there, Ben, if you'd like a pun. Olivia, welcome. Sure. What happened, Olivia? What happened when you were taking your driver's license? Oh, yeah.

So I was also sitting where I was restricted, and the worst thing happened. So I actually ended up stalling at the lights. I don't know if my car broke down or what, but I stalled, and the car just, like, wouldn't turn on. And so we both ended up having to get out and, like, push it to the side. And it was so embarrassing because I, like, I felt so bad. I, like, had to call my mum and then I felt so bad I ended up calling him a taxi to get us back because I just, like, didn't know what to do.

So the car was broken on the side. So you taxied back from your driver's license test with the driver, with the instructor. Yeah, literally. And I sat in the back like a loser. Did you pass? No. No, I didn't pass. But I had to reset the test anyway.

Was the driving instructor taking the taxi driver through a few things? Three second indicator, thank you. I think he was off the clock at that point. Oh, that's such a good story. Good on you, Olivia. Appreciate that. William, welcome from Hamilton. Your driver's licence,

what went wrong? Oh, yeah, mate. Well, it happened to my mate. We were all doing our driver's licence, they were restricted, and then I passed, and then it was my mate's turn to go.

So he just pulls out of the v10z like just starting his test pulls out drives about 50 meters down the road and then runs a pedestrian crossing and then the then the instructor goes to him okay then um just do u-turn here and then uh pull back into the station so he pulls back into the u-turn pulls back in and he goes oh yep he goes okay then mate you failed you ran a pedestrian crossing. That's an instant fail. He failed after 50 metres? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He pulled out, he pulled out and then

some guys, some old guys trying to pass, walk through the pedestrian crossing and he just runs it. Oh, okay, so he nearly runs over a pensioner. Oh jeez. Fails your licence. Oh god. He was sour for the whole ride home, too.

You have a great day, eh? Yeah, mate. I don't know why, but I had a feeling William was going to swear at any second, and he didn't. I'm so proud of him.

We'll see about some Hell Pizza, eh? He had the sweary vibe about him, but he didn't. Thank God. You can get beer and wine delivered with your new Hell Pizza order right now as well. And we've got one more caller to knock this on the head in Rotorua.

Kayla, good morning to you. Your driver's license. Yeah, it started off bad the day before. I fell off my horse and broke my wrist. I had one of those big, ugly casts on. And then I had my restricted driving test. It's going all good. And then I'm going down the road and this dog comes flying out and I run over this dog in the my restricted driving test. It's going all good and then I'm going down the road

and this dog comes flying out and I run over this dog in the middle of my test. During the test? Oh, no. The dog was all right? Yeah, no, the dog was fine. I could pull over

but the bit that shocked me was the driving instructor was like, oh, just carry on. It's fine. Did you get your license? Yeah, I passed. Oh, well done. What a traumatic experience all round.

I know. I was just like, oh, God. And he's like, no, it's all good. Carry on. Everyone was a winner, apart from the dog who was a little sore. Yeah. Yeah.

Good on you. I hope it's coming your way. We really appreciate the calls. Experts in semi-accurate, half-remembered information. Vaguely known information, but maybe not correct. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the hits. The A to Z of New Zealand. It's something we do every day on the show.

We call a different town or city in New Zealand. We call one a day, and we're slowly making our way around New Zealand, learning about every place alphabetically. I have never heard of this part of Aotearoa before. Lawrence. Have you heard of Lawrence? No. I haven't actually.

I love the name Lawrence. I hope everyone in the town, including the females, are called Lawrence. Yeah. We had a neighbour called Lawrence. Did you know, we live next to, I don't want to go on too much of a ramble here, a guy called Lawrence and his wife, Carol, they listen to us and they're in Washington. She's a diplomat.

She was a diplomat for the British Embassy and now she's posted in Washington and they listen to us and they're in Washington. She's a diplomat. She was a diplomat for the British Embassy. And now she's posted in Washington and they listen to the podcast every morning. Oh, that's very cool. Hi, Carol and Laurie. Lovely, lovely neighbours. He had a hot rod. Oh, did he? Yeah, no, he's a lovely guy, Laurie.

Very eccentric chap. But we're not focusing on Laurie, my name. We're focusing on Laurie in the South Island. Don't know exactly where it is, but I do know it's got a population of 403. What they don't tell you is 401 of those are sheep. And we're going to go through now to a sheep farm. Hello? Is that Jude Gamble?

Sure is. Jude Gamble from Lawrence. Sure is. Now, we were just having a conversation during that last song, and I said, Ben, should we call Jude? And he said to me, let's take a gamble on it. And so we have. We've got Rudy Judy on the phone.

Yeah, good. What are you doing, Lawrence Jude? Actually, just cooking for a shearing gang. Shearing gangs, they sound hungry. Oh, they are hungry, believe me. There's about 24 at the moment, and they're getting through a lot of food. Oh, yeah. Okay, let's run through the average day's cuisine for a shearing gang.

They're starting at breakfast with what? They start at breakfast at five to five. Five to five. And they're having a continental breakfast, you know, normal fruit, cereals, and then it's fully cooked after that. Baked beans, spaghetti, and hash browns, bacon, sausages, eggs, you name it. They get it. That's all for breakfast?

Yeah. That's the offer? So they start with cereals, toast, juice, and then they move on to the breakfast. Is this every day they're eating this? Yeah. Well, imagine so much energy being exerted. Okay, then what about, is there still like a smoko break?

Is there still like a smoko? Yeah, so they take their lunchboxes to work. I'm just making them now. Yeah. And they're going to have, they've got sausage rolls and toasties for the morning of smoko. A smoko.

They don't have to smoke during smoko. They're all right. They can just enjoy it. So it's fine. They don't need to smoke. Do you put cigarettes in there? Just so they have the option? Being a non-smoker, hell no.

No, okay, alright, so fair enough. I imagine it's still weird that everyone calls it Smoko, but anyway. It's a cancer-free morning tea. Yeah, morning tea, okay. What about lunchtime? Morning tea, yeah. So, lunchtime, what have they got tomorrow? Oh, they've got fried rice, lasagnas and things like that.

Fried rice and lasagna fillets. Gee, they have eaten a truckload already and we haven't even hit afternoon tea. Do they have an afternoon tea? Yeah, they just have sandwiches and cut up fruit and things like that. All right, so a bit of a lighter afternoon tea. And then tell us about dinner time. This must be a feast.

Dinner time is, yeah, pretty much. So they get like a couple of twists of meat, sorts of veggies. Tonight, though, we're having nachos, butter chicken. We're having like takeout night tonight. Nachos and butter chicken. Nachos, butter chicken,

and they'll have some like macaroni cheese. You're combining India with Mexico. It's an international buffet. And then no supper, no dessert or anything like that? No, then I lock them out of the kitchen for the night and they can go to the night and day for their supper. If they're still hungry, which I don't know why you'd be hungry after all that. How much money are you spending at the supermarket every week? day for their fries. If they're still hungry, which I don't know why you'd be hungry after all that, but how much

money are you spending at the supermarket every week? Oh, no, bulk. We buy bulk through current. Of course.

And you go down to Stirling and you get $10, you get 20 kilos of new spuds. They go through 20 kgs of potatoes in the morning.

I use about, I use 10 kgs a day at least. 10 kgs of potatoes in the morning. I use about, oh, at least, I use 10 kgs a day at least. 10 kgs of potatoes? Jeez. This is like a never-ending pit. It is like a never-ending pit. Oh, wow. No one's working harder than you in New Zealand right now.

I mean, they're working hard, the sharing, but you're also working hard. They definitely are working harder than me. You, well, jeez, I tell you what, you must always have food on offer, otherwise they sound like they'll start eating you. Exactly. And so tell us about Lawrence. Where is it? Lawrence?

Oh, come on. Lawrence is on the way to Central Otago. We pretty much are the opening to Central Otago. Oh, you're the foreplay to Central Otago. Of course we are. Of course. Oh, we've got like this. We've got a swimming pool that's not long been built.

It's only been there for a few years and it's all brand new and heated. We've got a real good golf club. We've got a big sporting complex. Yep. No, what else have we got here? We've got Anthem House. The National Anthem was composed in Lawrence. The National Anthem of New Zealand was composed in Lawrence?

Oh, was it? Yeah, that's why I don't know how you don't know where Lawrence lives. Oh, well, excuse me. I should do deeper research into where anthems are composed. And also, like, Lawrence used to be bigger than Dunedin back in the day. You've got some good facts. And a town of 474 inhabitants. Yeah, that's all we need.

Sorry, no, 473. One of them just died of a heart attack after their daily diet. Yeah, after their breakfast. Oh, wow, it's been so fascinating talking to you and running through what exactly the hungry shearers eat. Yeah. I wouldn't even eat that in a week. They're doing that on the daily.

Yeah. That's impressive. Hey, you have been an absolute joy to talk with. No, no worries at all. And we should do this again, Jude Gamble. For sure.

Nora, I don't know what, we've probably covered off a lot of stuff. Would we do it again, Ben? Oh, no problem. Not the same thing again. But as in, we'd probably catch up

on other tunes. I think if we're ever down this way, we should come down and see how we'd go eating with the Sheriffs for a day. Come down and eat with the Sheriffs and then we'll go and have a few beers down the old local.

Oh, then they fill up with beers. Yeah. It's literal again. Hey, look after yourself and Lawrence, Jude. Yep, you too. From stealing Mike Hosking's car to stealing the hearts of New Zealand. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the hits. Actual hearts being not bestowed. Now, Laura McGoldrick from the 3pm Pickup is off giving birth to a miniature human being.

So, for the meantime, the wonderful Hilary Barry from Seven Sharp is filling in on the 3pm Pickup. And, Ben, I've just been hearing through the rumour mill that you're doing something that might be affecting Hilary's performance in the afternoon. And she joins us on the phone right now. Hilary Berry, the wonderful Hilary Berry. How's it going? Oh, it's going really well, thank you. Lovely to talk to you. Are we in the colleague category?

I was going to say brand new work friend. I can't say. Come on. No, we're friends. We've known each other for a long time. I know, too long. I mean, the dark things Hilary Barry knows about us, she could end us.

It's okay. You keep those payments coming in. Yeah, we will. The 3pm pick-up, you're filling in for Laura McGoldrick while she's away. How are you enjoying it? Oh, look, I'm loving it. But, you know, pressure.

Pressure to fill in for somebody for a short period of time because you don't want to break anything in the studio and you don't want to annoy the lovely, loyal audience that she's already built up. Listen, I don't think you could annoy anyone, Hilary Barry. And if they got annoyed, I would end them for you. These are the dark things that you know about me. Hey, but no, we've heard rumours,

and listen, I don't want to start work beef, tensions in the workplace, that you have been fastidiously, furiously cleaning your workstation, which Ben Boyce sits at in the morning. He's sitting there right now talking into the same microphone you do, and you're saying he's got his spit all over the computer screen. Do I leave it messy, do I? Yeah.

Look, I wasn't sure who sat there, to be honest, but there was, I've got sure who sat there, to be honest, but there was... I've got a thing about spit on the screen. And I sat down and immediately noticed there was a lot of spit on the screen. And then I was delighted because there's a little chemist warehouse kiosk at the corner of the studio.

Yeah, there is. It's like we're working in a mini-mart. Yeah, exactly. The sponsors of someone's show, which is wonderful. So I want to help myself to some of the lovely little cleaning wipes for the screens. But I needed about six of them to clean that screen.

But it doesn't look so much better. It does look nice. Did you also steal Katy Perry's Promise perfume as well, Hilary Berry? Was that you? Whoops. So the workstation is clean. And Ben, if you could refrain from spitting on the screen.

I'll try not to, yeah. He's quite a spitty individual. Now, Hilary, I have to ask a serious question. Yes. The 3pm pick-up, 7 sharp, is the only prerequisite for Hilary Berry to do a show. It must have the time of the show in the title. Well, it's actually handy for me

because as they age, I forget things. I go, oh, what job do I have to turn up for? Oh, no, it's the 3pm pickup. Oh, better get there. Were you jealous of Jeremy Wells having two jobs? You're like, oh, I've got to get in on that action. Yeah, totally. And I thought, well, I'm not getting up early in the morning, so this is perfect. Now, I was watching the

show online the other day and Jeremy was returning from his Christmas break with a moustache. Yeah, got a lot of lip service literally, didn't it? That moustache. What did you say when he walked into the office? I just laughed.

I just laughed. And, you know, when you haven't seen someone over the summer holidays, you give them a hug. And I kind of gave him that welcome back hug, but I wasn't committed to it like I normally would be. It's kind of like, ooh, ooh, don't get close to me. He looked like a youthful Ned Flanders, didn't he? That's a kind thing to say.

Most feedback we got from people was that it was simply creepy. Yeah, he's got rid of the moustache. There's something else I was just reading in the TV guide, which for some reason you're placed next to the desk that we sit in, like I'm on the cover of the TV guide. I left it there, actually. Yeah, I feel like you've left this here in the studio, because it is honestly sitting next to the desk that you sit at.

But I was reading in that that you guys share an afternoon, like a cup of tea every afternoon together as part of your pre-show ritual. Actually, we do. Yeah. So it's our little thing and we get most of the bulk of our work done and then we kind of celebrate by having a cup of tea, having a little yarn. He always buys a chocolate chip cookie

from the vending machine. I've tried to wean him off them because they're just full of sugar. But he's addicted to these things. So he has the cookie and I go with that. Oh, he's addicted. Well, what a lovely relationship. If only Ben loved me the way you love Jeremy.

We could sit down and have a cup of tea and a cookie in the afternoons. I want you to look me in the eyes like Hilary looks Jeremy in the eyes. Well, it's so good to have you on the hits with us right now. And I hope you're enjoying the show. We're loving having you here Oh thank you so much

Lovely to talk to you Love your show See you Hilary Bye Ben and Jono call this show Jono and Ben Breakfast on the hits Long weekend

This weekend I hope everyone's going to have a great weekend That's my wish to you That you have a good weekend But I was preparing for the weekend Ben I know you constantly workplace bullying me about my skin complexion. I don't. Does he workplace bully you about my skin complexion?

Yes. We were having a meeting yesterday about Rosene, and you're like, let's do a special Rosene paint. Jono, pry a milky white thigh paint. That's what you said. Yeah, because I always have like eggshell white and all sorts of, you know, so I was like, well, milky white. Try a milky white

thigh white. Yeah, the idea is still, you know, no idea is a bad idea. I think we sent that off to the client. We're like, this is funny. So we'll see how that goes. So that's just, you know, that's just a taste of the latest bullying incident. So it's given me a complex. And so I was like, I'll borrow some of

Jennifer's, my wife's fake tan. Spray I was like, I'll borrow some of Jennifer's, my wife's fake tan. Spray tan. Oh, did you, Trump? Yeah. And so I sprayed away, you know, for the sort of neck down. And you're like,

I'm one fake tan away from becoming an influencer now. Very tan. But what you don't realise about the fake tan, and I don't know, Juliet, if you're a fake tanning enthusiast, is the residue it leaves on your white bed sheets. Oh, right. I woke up this morning, I'm like, have I been sleeping with an oompa loompa?

Or has Jennifer been having an affair with Donald Trump? One of the two's happened. It goes everywhere. Yeah, and I imagine it's quite hard to get out of the sheets later, right? I don't actually think, well, I've never really had an issue. It probably depends on the tan you get,

but it comes out quite easily. But it's just, also if you have people over and they go into a room and they just see orange mud. Have you soiled the bed? Yeah. What is going on there?

It's quite embarrassing. Fake tan my legs. Yeah. Do you do a beauty regime which causes a fit? No, not that I know of in that regard. Do you borrow products of Amanda's? Oh, every now and again you see it and you're like, oh, I'll give this a go.

Give it a taste, eh? I'm just going to get rid of, you know, yeah. What is this going to get rid of? Is this going to work? Is this going to get rid of this on my face? No. No, no, it doesn't. Yeah, I do.

And the shampoos. I just see this shampoo that I just use. I don't know that one was meant to be for me and one's more expensive. I was just like, it's shampoo. I'll just use it. I've made a little bit of hair. And she's like, that shampoo was $40 a bottle. I stole Jennifer's shampoos.

I was saying the other morning, my eyebrows have decided to live different lives. And they're all pointing in different directions. So I was shampooing my eyebrows and conditioning my eyebrows with her shampoo the other day just to try and calm them down. They're going everywhere, aren't they? And it made me feel part of the shampooing team. I now know how you feel

in the morning when you're shampooing. Oh, why's that? Have you not got... I hadn't noticed. Not something I'd bring up. This is another one of his favourite hobbies. It's not only workplace bullying me about my skin complexion, but also my alopecia, which is a... You haven't got alopecia. Don't say that.

Medical condition. No, you haven't got that. No, no. Sometimes he's like... Don't say that. You have not. Sometimes he's like, what's your little wish, kid? What do you want to do?

Do I need to donate money to you? This is what he does. No, that is not true. I won't take that. No. All right, wrapping you up. And I won't take that. No. All right, Rafa, you up. And I won't take your bullying anymore, okay? Want more Jono and Ben?

You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Just after 7.45. Five words for 5K on the hit. You're only five words away from a massive payday. Fun, this game. It's fun. Let's do this, New Zealand.

This is Five Words 5K, our brand new game. We tell you five words. You say the first thing that pops into your head. If those words match up with our words, you are 5K richer. Not even the dictionary gets paid that much for words, and that's all it does. Yeah, Collins has had it too good for too long, hasn't it? The dictionary people.

Even the Websters. Yeah. All right, so on the phone right now now I think we've got Debs. Morena Debs, welcome from Mount Roskill. Hey boys! Good to have you on 5K. Woo! Debs, high energy. You feel like one of the contestants on Ellen DeGeneres' show. I love it.

No, no, guaranteed winners. This is not guaranteed. It's not guaranteed, but we're going to give it our best shot to try and win your 5K. Debs, you've got a big choice now. Jono or Ben, who do you want to go into the soundproof booth and play with you? My milky bar brother, Jono. Oh, you're going to workplace bully me as well, Debs, about my pasty white skin.

All right. Okay, all right. I'll get into this. I'll take my pasty ass into the soundproof booth. He's making his way to the corner of the studio. He's going to lock himself in the soundproof booth. He's making his way to the corner of the studio. He's going to lock himself in the soundproof booth. He won't be able to hear what's going on, Debs. You know how the game works?

Yes, I do. And careless whispers, I've got it, mate. No, you're no whispering, no whispering. We've got to crack down on the whispering. No, it's all good. It's just me. It's just you. Okay.

All right, Debs. I'm going to read you out five words. You're going to tell me the words you want to lock in for the word association game. And Debs, your first word is sanitiser. Sanitiser. Hand. Hand. Okay.

So go on, I think it's good. Yep, makes sense. Topical. Was that the obvious thing that popped into your head, Producer Juliet? Yep, I think so. And it's nice and topical. Okay, your next word, Debs, is Colby. Colby.

Cheese. Cheese. Okay, makes sense to, Debs, is colby. Colby. Cheese. Cheese. Okay, makes sense to me. So far, I think pretty good. These are the ones that popped into my head as well. Oh, stop it. Stop it. I've got to wrap up the drama, Deb.

All right, the next word is leaves. Leaves. Tree. Okay. Oh, shit, no. Tea. Oh, tea. No. What? Tea. Oh.

Oh, tea. She's thinking as well. Oh, I reckon. It's up to you. Yes. No, I'm sick with my original choice. Yeah. I hadn't thought of that. Neither.

Neither. Okay, we're going to go. Okay, let's go. We're locking in your first one, all right? Yeah. The next word we're going to go. Okay, okay. Let's go. We're locking in your first one, all right? Yeah. The next word we're looking for is vitamin. Vitamin. C.

Okay. And the final word, Debs, is club. Club. Take your time. Sport. Sorry? Sport. Ah, I see where you've gone there.

Yeah. Okay, that makes sense. Deb, I think they're pretty good words, but I don't know what Jono's going to say. No, me neither, mate. So we're going to bring him out of the soundproof booth, waving away from him. He's sitting on the floor in there.

Come on, Milky Bar Man. Despite the fact that there is a stool, he's sitting on the floor. He's struggling a little bit with the lock. Come on, Jono, come on. I need this. I need to pay for my divorce debt. Or Deb's just saying, you need to pay for your what? Your. Come on, Jono. Come on. I need this. I need to pay for my divorce debt. Come on.

You need to pay for your what? Your divorce? Yeah, my debt from my divorce. Oh, she needs to pay for her debt from her divorce. She's saying, Jono, I need this. Yeah. Let's go. Come on, Jono.

Come on, Jono. This is Deb's divorce money. Yeah, this is money. Does this mean she'll still stay married to the person she doesn't want to be married to if I don't get it? Oh, no, mate. No, no. Divorce. Meaning it's final, but I lost everything because he blocked all the accounts.

Oh, John, I appreciate it. Oh, don't put this on me, Debs. Oh, Debs, there's a lot of pressure. Why did we need the emotional backstory? All right, John, I'm going to say the same five words I said to Deb and see if these match up. The first word I'm going to say to you is sanitiser. Sanitiser. Hand.

Yes, we're off to a good start. Here we go. Oh, Debs, that divorce is going to be final, baby. It's feeling good. Deb knows about the careless whispering. She's not going to do that either. Okay. The next word is Colby. Colby. As in chi or cheese?

Cheese, yes. Well done. Oh, Deb. Go on. That's a happy divorcee on the phone right there. All right, the next word for Deb to try and match up is leaves. Leaves. Unlocking tree.

You'd be correct. Oh, my God. Debbie. Oh, wow. Okay, two more to go. Here we go, New Zealand. Okay, the next word is vitamin. Vitamin.

C. Yes. Oh, you're one away. Now, this one I think is going to be tricky because a couple of words popped into my head on this one. Oh, no. Oh, no. Debbie, your soundtrack is making me more and more Now this one I think is going to be tricky because a couple of words popped into my head on this one Oh no Oh no Oh no Debbie your soundtrack

is making me more anxious Oh mate I'm ready to wee my pants I already have Debbie Clean up in the soundproof booth Alright And the final word

is club Club Take your time Jono I think there's lots of options. Take your time. Club. Come on, mate. Let's bring it home. Come on, man. I'm going to go club med.

No! It was sport. As in sport. Oh, no, that didn't pop into my head. Debbie! I was thinking golf. That would pop into my head, but Deb went sport, and I see why she went sport. Yeah. Debbie, please don't divorce this radio show.

No, you don't make my head bleed in the morning, so we're good, mate. Oh, mate, I'm so sorry. Jeez, we're close. Oh, so close. Four out of five again. We were so close to winning, Deb, $5,000. That's how it works.

Thank you for the opportunity, by the way. No worries, mate. All the best. You're awesome, Deb. $5,000. That's how it works. Thank you for the opportunity, by the way. No worries, mate. All the best. You're awesome, Deb. Take care of yourself. Enjoy the long weekend. Someone's just texting saying, oh, my God, I just got all five on 4487. No way.

All right. Well, this game, it can be won. We're going to try our best to win it next week for you. They're proud of New Zealand. Go New Zealand. If only New Zealand was proud of them. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the hits. Now, a lot of kids are going back to school this week

and into next week. School started again, and one of my daughters started a new school yesterday, and so they're back at school. And we obviously work early in the mornings. We used to work in the afternoon, so I used to make the school lunches, but now not really.

You know, I pick them up after school, do that. But I thought... That's the fun part. You get the good bits. Not the stressful morning routine. Come on, put your socks on! You get it when they're happy to see you. It's all like, yeah, we've done all the responsibilities for the day. You're right. You notice that every human being

has to do the same routine every morning to prepare themselves to depart from the house. But for some reason, the kids just don't want to do that. Just do the same routine every morning to prepare themselves to depart from the house. But for some reason, the kids just don't want to do that. Just do the same thing you did yesterday. Just do it quicker. Just go and walk out the door. Just do that every day for the rest of the year.

That's pretty much it, right? But it's always reminding them what to do. But yesterday I was like, well, first day at school for one of my daughters, Sienna, at a new school. So I thought maybe I'll get up and wind them up early.

I'll make lunches. I'll make something. Oh God, you can only imagine what his lunches are like. He comes to work here with his little lunchbox with celery sticks and carrot sticks and hummus. Oh, I thought I'd do something a little bit different. So I looked online and there's people that make little smiley faces and make these cute little lunches.

Oh, that's a good idea. So I stole someone's idea. It was like a jam sandwich and then I put like two crackers for eyes with blueberries on top and then a bit like two crackers for eyes with blueberries on top and then a bit of cap skin as the mouth oh that's pretty cute and then i um this is like a disgusting sandwich well you take the stuff off and yeah i wasn't expecting it but when you open up the lunch box i was like oh that'd be a smiley face for them i was like this would be great so when i picked them up yesterday i was like oh they'll be they'll be mentioning a lot of street

talk in the play a lot of playground talk about this sandwich they didn't really bring it up and i was like oh how was the lunch and they was like, oh, how was the lunch? And they were like, oh, they opened up the lunchbox and it was like the jam in the face. Because the sun had melted. It was like a massacre. It happened to this poor jam sandwich face. It was like, oh, some horrible stuff had gone on.

Scared children across the whole school. It was like there was blood going on from the jam. It just looked like it all melted. And I was like, uh-oh, not good. It was like botched, that plastic surgery nightmare show. It was like, sign this sandwich up for embarrassing bodies. And then I was like, the other thing I did as well, I'd seen online as well, someone had cut up bananas, half bananas, and drawn faces like Minions,

like the movie Despicable Me. I was like, oh, yeah, that'll be cute. But no, not good. Because again, it's hot and bananas turn brown when they're hot. And also I'd drawn on them with like a felt marker, a black marker, and that had run. So it looked like the Minions were crying

and that also looked like they'd had a terrible accident down the back as well. They were quite embarrassed by it. Another fake tan incident like I was talking about before. I was like, oh, so yeah. So listen, don't try and be too cute with the lunches. No, and don't go too, because you see those infomercials, or not the infomercials, the ads on TV,

and it's like there's this wonderful household, and they're in the kitchen, and they're like, what I like to do for my children every morning is some scrumptious homemade spinach and frittata quiches. And you're like, who's making a spinach and frittata quiche? Yeah. And some homemade kale. So no one does that.

Well, the kids aren't eating it, that's for sure. Here's five bucks, buy some burger rings, get a 1.5 of Coke, that's on the food pyramid somewhere. Is it? I don't know.

The other, we talked about this last year, but those little squeezy bottles of yogurt, I gave one of those to the kids one day and put in their lunchbox. Not thinking that, you know, plastic,

you know. Oh, dad, you know, plastic, you know. Oh, Dad, you can't do that. Come home and I was like, this is the worst thing I could put in their lunchbox. But they're always like, this is going to kill the turtles and dolphins. I'm like, well, the turtles and dolphins aren't swimming with these. What's that? We're not chucking it straight in the ocean after lunch. No, I don't go, once I've finished

with glad wrap, I don't go, well, I'll walk down to the ocean, unroll 30 metres of glad wrap and just chuck it in there. That's where we dispose of that, right? We wish for the best. And go, you dolphins, you know, no one's doing that. Paid to talk words and stuff into a microphone. It's New Zealand's breakfast. Jono and Pam on the hits.

We like to pitch you against each other. Generally, Monday to Friday, we don't like you competing against each other. But on Friday, we like you to turn on. And that is the best weekend. That's right. I thought there was music or something there. I don't know. You paused like it was a thing, right?

Yeah, but there is no music. Because halfway through that, I was like, oh, no, there's no music for that. Do you want something from the weekend of the artist, maybe? We could find something. Yeah, we could. Julie can do something like that. He's been going in the Super Bowl there's no music for that. Got something from the weekend or the artist, maybe? We could find something. Yeah, we could, Julie, you could do something like that. He's been going in the Super Bowl over the weekend. He might be having literally a good weekend. So we like to get your calls on 0800THEHITS.

You tell us who's going to have the best weekend, this one being a long weekend, Waitangi, of course. Who's going to have the best weekend? We judge. There you go. The best weekend. We judge. You having that music?

Yeah, so 0800THEHITS, 4487 on the text. There you go. The best weekend. Are you having that music? Yeah. So under the hits, 4487 on the text. Who's having the best weekend? And we're going to award someone with some Hell Pizza. Thanks to hellpizza.com. They're the best damn pizza. And they do booze delivery as well. You can get beer and wine delivered with your Hell Pizza order

if you're over 18, obviously. You know what I'm going to do this weekend? I'm going to go to Denny's. I walked past Denny's this morning. I'm going to go Hell obviously. You know what I'm going to do this weekend? I'm going to go to Denny's. I walked past Denny's this morning. I'm going to go to Hell Pizza. That's what you're going to get. You're going to get Hell Pizza. You're going to walk past Denny's.

It's just damn right. You're going to walk past Denny's. You're going to walk past them and you're going to walk into Hell Pizza or you're going to get delivered at home. I literally just said Hell Pizza. And then suddenly it's literally like

Yeah, no. There was no time. You go online and you get beer and pizza delivered. I'm not even going to think about daddies. No, I'm going to watch

when Hell Pizza exists where they've got beer and wine. So, oh, Andrew, it's 4.7. Why are you going to have a good weekend? We're going to kick it off with Adele in Auckland.

Morena Adele, how are you? I'm good, thank you. How are you guys? Oh, we're doing well. Brag away. What's happening? Okay, well, it starts off tonight. I'm going to one of those free movies in the park with my flatmate, Frozen 2. Oh, yeah. And then tomorrow I'm flying to Nelson.

I'm visiting my mum. And spending a few days with her and she's great because she makes me coffee in the morning and brings it to me in bed. Not bad. All those mum things that they do for you.

Yeah, I like that. And I'm a South Islander so you know I love heading back south and going to the South Island. Right, okay, Adele, not a bad weekend. Kicking it off with a bit of Frozen. Into the, no, no. Movie two, seen that many times. Good on you, Adele.

Hold there, we'll see if you're having the best weekend. Someone's just texted in. It says, hello there, I am going to an adult-themed girls' night and then getting a tattoo on Monday. Beat that. What is an adult-themed girls' night? Is that like, oh, a bit tired after work? What's the time?

7.30. Could really turn in about now. I'll put the jug on before you do. I'm going to have a cup of tea and watch some Bridgerton. That's what I imagined it is. That's your adult theme. Yeah, that's what happens when you're an adult, right? Rhonda, welcome from Waihuku.

Why are you going to have a good weekend, Rhondie? Well, it starts off, we're going to catch up with some friends we haven't seen for ages on Saturday night. Then Sunday, I get to spend the day on Chilli Bin Hill with my family, watching my husband, my nephew, my kids, and my boy bestie racing, and then we get to watch the Demolition Derby afterwards. Yeah.

While I've been on Chilli Bin Hill. What is Chilli Bin Hill? This sounds like a Bogan's Paradise. It does. That's exactly what it says. You sit on a hill with your Chilli Bin and you watch the dirt track racing. Beautiful.

And the only entrance ticket you need is a mullet on the back of your head. I love it. I get to watch my kids race. Awesome. You hold there, Rhonda. That's a good weekend. It's a good weekend.

Chilly Baneu, I like that. Rochelle wants to jump on board. You going to have a good weekend, Rochelle and Wellington? Oh, we're going to have the best. This has been brewing for like years and thanks to COVID, it's taken a little extra longer to get across the line.

But our family is moving into the new games room. So the boys are pumped to have their first game of pool, table tennis, sit in the spa, watch a movie. But the benchtop's not in, thank you to our New Zealand ports. So we're really going to need some food at night. Oh, my gosh. She's angry for the help, pizza and beer. Oh, help. Oh, my gosh. She's angry for the help, pizza and beer.

Oh, help. Oh, okay. I see Rochelle. Good play. Bringing it back to the sponsors. Yes, the sponsors. Unlike me before taking it away from the sponsors. Yeah, she's brought it back.

No, you can't do that. You can't do that. You know what I mean? So if you could, you know, deliver it yourself, have a round of pool. Like, come on. You know, we can create a whole moment here. Oh, because she's got a games room. Thanks for your call, Jeff Bezos. That's amazing.

Okay, you're on hold, Rochelle. Not a bad weekend. And we'll take one more. Sharonne, welcome from Auckland. You're pitching in for a great weekend. I'm going to the Lost Springs. We deserve it. We worked all over Christmas with the COVID swabs. And we're just going for a nice long weekend. Having a spa, going in the Lost Springs. We deserve it. We worked all over Christmas with the COVID swabs,

and we're just going for a nice long weekend, having a spa, going in the hot pools, dip and dine, and then going for a nice massage. Oh, treat yourself. That's good, doesn't it? And are you a nurse? Are you sharing? I'm a healthcare assistant.

Oh, healthcare. This is the COVID swabs. You've been working hard for New Zealand, so thank you for everything you're doing. That's awesome. Do you know what? Do you know what? You know what I'm going to do?

What? It makes me nervous. Do you want to talk about any other non-sponsors of the program? Yeah. Everyone gets Hell Pizza. All right. Is that doable, Producer Humphrey? You get Hell Pizza.

You get Bell Pizza. Sharon, you get Hell Pizza. Well done. We'll go back to Rochelle in Wellington. Rochelle, you got Hell Pizza for your games room. So pumped! Rhonda and Adele, you all get Hell Pizza as well. That sounds...

Yeah! Yeah, Rhonda, you can take your pizza up and eat it on Chilly Bin Hill. Chilly Bin Hill. I will. Alright, have a great weekend. Whatever you're doing this long weekend, keep safe. And that's all I have to say. Thank you.

Thanks, Doggy Ashley Bloomfield. Touching words. Real Kiwi blokes with soy lattes. Mmm. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. Now, this is a little thing we like to do on a Friday. I like to do it especially. It's look back on Jono's worst moments of the week.

Ben Voice Productions Limited proudly presents Jono Fryer's worst moments of the week. The highlights package is stuff I wish I could delete. Yeah. But unfortunately not. How can you focus in on the negative? What about all the positive things I've done in the workplace this week? Found my swap card.

He did find your swap. You already got a new one issued because you lost the last one. Unlocked my computer password. Got a new password. This has been some good. This has been some wins this week. This lost the last one. Yeah. Unlocked my computer password. Got a new password. This has been some good. This has been some wins this week. This has been some wins. We like, you know, New Zealand.

We love to focus on the negative. That's what we do. And it's a lot more fun playing the worst moments out of your mouth during the week. And it started with you regaling a tale of childbirth. The thing you don't realise too is when you have a child, and this is what I found quite confronting, the umbilical cord, difficult to cut You really gotta have one

You do But we got there in the end I used my teeth in the end I double down on this, like an electrical wire You've really gotta put some force down on that As well as that we got talking about what your mum used to call well

she said it well Mum always used to call well, she said it well. Mum always used to call it my what's it. She still does. I come home and she's like, how's your what's it? The what's it. People still go, what's that?

Can I just clarify too, I said whenever I come home She goes How's your Watson Oh there it is As if I walk Walk into the house And unzip my trousers There it is

There it is That's a very thorough check For your mum Go on again Oh yeah No it's all good For our sakes I'd like to say

That doesn't take place It doesn't take place Only at Christmases As well as that We had Remy from France Join us on the phone this week. And now he can do an amazing thing with a champagne bottle. He can take off the cork. With a sword.

With a sword. And Jono, you got quite infatuated with Remy's voice. My talent is sabrage. We open a champagne bottle with a sword. Oh, listen, I could just listen to Remy. So we stop playing music and just listen to Remy talk. You could not be a more perfect specimen. Who created you?

French. The French. Oh, my God. And that was going to be Jono's Worst of the Week, but Producer Julie, you've managed to quickly find a new one. Yes, literally probably about five minutes ago. A late contender. Do we have to play this again?

Yeah, we're talking about Hell Pizza. The great providers of pizza and they also do beer and wine as well. And wonderful supporters of the program.

Yeah, that's right. So I was talking about how you could win Hell Pizza just literally as soon as I said Hell Pizza our mate starts talking

about a competing brand. So who's having the best weekend and we're going to award someone with some Hell Pizza. Thanks to hellpizza.com. They're the best damn pizza and they do booze delivery as well. You can get beer and wine delivered with your Hell Pizza order if you're over 18, obviously.

You know what I'm going to do this weekend? I'm going to go to Denny's. I walked past Denny's this morning. I'm going to go Hell Pizza. That's what you're going to get. There you go. You're going to go help pizza. That's what you're going to get. There you go. You're going to get help pizza. I had literally just...

I'm going to take it. What an idiot. Yeah. And I would like to say apologies to help pizza. Appreciate all their support. And Denny's, you can go and jump in a lake. Unless you want to... Swat's there and then...

Yeah, then you can come out of the lake. And that is Jono's Worst of the Week. Broadcasting live and mostly awake. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the hits. Now, early mornings, you try and tippy-toe around the house. You don't want to make a fuss and wake up the household. Do you find you wake up your family when you're preparing for this job? They're pretty good, actually, to be honest.

I can walk into bedrooms, put clothes in there, they just carry on sleeping. They're actually quite good. Like I could put the light on in the little wardrobe. You walk into bedrooms and the lights are on? I can bring a brass band in there. They're pretty rock solid, to be honest. Good sleeping family. Yeah, which is pretty good. The dog gets up. Dog sort of hangs around with me, but that's about it. You try and tippy toe around the dog. You which is pretty good the dog gets up the dog sort of hangs around with me but that's about it you try and tippy toe

around the dog you try not to disturb the dog yeah the dog and the cat want to get fed it's too early guys the dog must just love it when you get up in the middle of the night

what's going on what's going on now he's got used to it now at first it was quite exciting for him he's like where are we going what are we doing now he's like

oh that's what he does he gets up then he leaves it's not that exciting where does your dog sleep he sort. He gets up, then he leaves. It's not that exciting. Where does your dog sleep? He sort of mixes it up. Does he sleep inside?

Yeah, most of the time, but he's quite fluffy and gets quite hot, so sometimes he wants to get outside in the night. I've talked about it before. He makes that noise. And no one else, again, no one else in my family wakes up except for me. I'm a very light sleeper. Does he just walk up to you in your ear and go, oh? It's quite a polite way instead of barking

I'm like alright mate here we go And then so he what just sleeps on the lawn or something does he? He sleeps outside usually on the deck

because it's a bit cooler on the concrete Oh yeah I kind of tippy toe around the house not trying to wake anyone but this morning I had to use the

the gurg you know the gurgler do you have a ggler, Ju? I don't in my flat, but at home. Is it the same as the Insincerator? Is that what it is? Yeah. Are we the only country that calls it the Gergler? Yeah, put it down, the Gergler.

It's the most attractive name, eh? Imagine having a nickname, the Gergler. Insincerator sounds quite cool. Sounds like the Terminator or something like that, like you're an action hero. But yeah, I had to use the Gurgler this morning because I just chuck stuff down there

and I forget to turn the Gurg on the night before. So I was like, I better do it or else it'll start smelling, you know. Gotcha. But you could just put anything down the Gurgler. Well. Anything. Yeah. There's some things you're not meant to put down the Gurgler.

I lived with a guy who put his ciggy butts down the Gurgler. Really? Yeah. And I was like, this is not, don't do that, please. But yeah, they clogged up with ciggy butts. Oh, jeez. Eventually. Have you tried to test the gurgler's limits?

Apparently you can't put banana skins down them. Oh, yeah. And I heard eggshells you're not meant to put. Eggshells? People say you're not meant to put eggshells down there. Someone was saying that. I haven't Googled that. And obviously meats, not meant to put down there.

Don't you hate it when you're like, oh, there's something in there and it's not breaking down and you have to put your hand in the Gurg? And you're like, oh, you're sort of feeling around. There's all this mushy, sloppy stuff. And then you take your hand out and there's no odour quite like the odour of a hand who's freshly dived into a Gurgler. You're always a little bit scared that it's going to go off for some reason too. I always find that.

I know. Even though you're next to the button, no one else is. You're like, I'm the only one that's going to push this. You pull this bit of rotten chicken carcass out. Or a teaspoon that's somehow fallen down there. Great invention though. What did you do before the gurgler? The waste must have been enormous.

Compost, I guess. Compost. A lot of people have compost. Put a little thing under there. Put a little ice cream container under there. Put Compost. A lot of people have compost. You know, put a little thing under the, you know, put a little ice cream container under there, put your waste and put it out in the compost, put it on the garden.

John and Andy Pryor, when I was growing up, had a compost pile. It was out of control. It just got too big. Put it on the compost pile. It took up half the backyard. Yeah. Like, you could have a mountaineering expedition on our compost heap,

and it's got to sit. It stinks to the compost. You want it on the garden, then you're spreading it around your lawn. That's right. It's good fertilizer. It's up on the garden. Oh, it really rakes. There we go.

We covered some Googler shit there and some compost stuff as well. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Scrolling through your feed. Oh, I love this part of the show. We get updated and this is where you come to hear the first paragraph of news stories

from the New Zealand Herald. Ben Boyce presents Scrolling Through Your Feed. Now, you might have heard about this yesterday afternoon, but Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern announced that Matariki, we're going to have a public holiday in New Zealand for Matariki and it's going to have a public holiday in New Zealand for Matariki, and it's going to be June 24 next year. It starts next year, not this year.

Oh, it starts next year, right. And I understand it's quite fluid, the Māori New Year, as to when the dates are. And they had a panel deciding the dates for the next 30 years, apparently. So it's always going to be likely to be on a Friday or a Monday, but you're right. It's going to be sort of moved around, around about that June window, but it's another public holiday because it's, in some ways, it's great.

It's awesome that we're recognising this, but also awesome to get a holiday in the middle of the year as well. Yeah, it's much needed too. Much needed for Matariki and much needed for people who moaned about the gap between Easter and Labour Weekend. Yeah. Some of the business is not too happy about the fact that there's another holiday because obviously it cost them a lot of money.

Was that time and a half for staff? Yeah, I guess a lot of people are not on. Yeah, sorry, from a business point of view, but awesome from a New Zealand point of view. We're recognising this. It was just so good. Wonderful stuff, Ben Boyce. I just didn't know I'd do it.

Also, I hinted yesterday at some wedding news. Soon. Soon? Just a little teaser. Just a little teaser? Just a little teaser. Yeah, just a little teaser. There you go. It's coming up.

What are you saying? I can't tell you now, but oh. That wedding is going to be the biggest thing to ever happen to New Zealand. Oh, yeah. It'll be huge. And I haven't overestimated that in any way whatsoever. It'll be, it'll be papped. Won't it be papped at the yin yang?

Oh, so, yeah. Have you ever been papped? No. Do you deserve a papping? No. No, you're not at pap level, are we? You don't deservein-yang? I'll be so, yeah. Have you ever been papped? No. Do you deserve a papping? No. No, you're not at pap level, are we? I definitely don't deserve a papping. I'll pap you.

Do you want me to pap you outside, Blue? Oh, you can. You can take a photo if you want, but yeah. No, I'm not. We're not going to. No one's going to pap us. No, we're not going to pap you. Let's pap each other.

No one's going to do it either. Juliet, can you pap us to make us feel good about ourselves? Yeah, of course. Of course I can. I'll hide in the bushes or something outside and pop up. Got him. Gotcha. Taking your wheelie bit out. You're like, yeah, I do this every Thursday. Can you pamper us to make us feel good about ourselves? Yeah, of course. I'll hide in the bushes or something outside and pop up. Gotcha! Taking your wheelie bit out.

You're like, yeah, I do this every Thursday. And in Australia, Kyle and Jackie O, they run a very successful radio show and much, much more successful than us. Well, just imagine what you're hearing now and it's the opposite of that. Yeah. It's better.

It's better, but with Aussie accents. And they had a simple maths question yesterday that stumped one of the announcers. And I thought we should play it right now. Have a listen to this. So if you buy a baseball bat and a baseball, and your total is $1.10, and the bat costs $1 more than the ball,

how much is the ball? How much is the ball, Giotto? So if you buy a baseball bat and a baseball, total was $1.10. Bat costs $1 more than the ball? How much is the ball, Giano? So if you buy a baseball bat and a baseball, total was $1.10. Bat costs $1 more than the ball. How much is the ball? Don't do on-the-spot maths with me. You know maths isn't my strong point.

Nothing's my strong point. But on-the-fly radio maths, I've never nailed. I've never nailed. That's why we're doing this. So what, the bat, can you, sorry, play the call you're doing? So a baseball bat and a baseball, your total was $1.10. See, it's a great deal.

You bought a baseball and a baseball bat. Rebel Sport having a hell of a sale. For $1.10. But the bat, it costs you $1 more than the ball. So $1. How much is the ball out of that $1.10? Ten cents. Nice.

I knew it wasn't going to be the obvious one. That's what I thought. The bat is $1 more than the ball. It's designed to make you think that. I think that's why the question's so hard, because you do think it's 10 cents. Well, let's try and figure it out. So it's 5 cents for the ball,

because $1.05 is actually $1 more than, yeah. So the ball is 5 cents, the bat is $1.05, because the bat is $1 more than the ball. So it has to be 5 cents to be $1 more, so bat is $1.05 because the bat is $1 more than the ball. So it has to be five cents to be $1 more, so it's $1.05. I'm so confused. No, it's not. What are you talking about? That's what the answer is.

It's five cents for the ball and $1.05 for the bat, and that comes to $1.10. Oh, of course. And it's $1 more. So you're buying a ball for five cents, and you're buying a bat for a dollar five, and the bat is a dollar more than the ball. Yeah, so there you go. So it's not. But obviously, most people go 10 cents,

because that's kind of how that's designed to work. It's designed to trick you, even though it's simple maths. Because you're like, of course, it's a dollar more. But of course, it's not. And the cheapest bat and ball in history. Five cent ball? Yeah, I know. That's the real issue I have with that right there.

And that is scrolling through your face this morning. It was good, Ben. Thank you for that. Add these two men together and somehow you get three quarters worth of a normal man. The Hits with Jono and Ben for breakfast. By the WhatsApp by doco.nz The world may be crumbling around us, but at least we can look back on the moments of these celebrity updates

and say to ourselves, I'm glad we spent five minutes of our lives talking about the time Chrissy Teigen was constipated. Here's Juliet with Spy. Unfortunately, we're not going, actually fortunately enough, we're not going that low. But Stan Walker, he has got his own reality show coming out. It's going to be called The Walkers which will show him and his family

in their day-to-day life. Kind of a bit like Keeping Up With The Kardashians but he said that, you know, it's not going to be his family the complete opposites of The Kardashians as you can probably imagine. Well, it's easy to keep up with The Walkers because they've set a good pace.

A slower pace. I can never keep up with The Kardashians. Kept it too quick always sprinting ahead weren't they oh that's what that's awesome he's so talented

and yeah it'll be awesome to see behind the scenes of Stan with his family and I think it'll be awards and all because he's such an open book Stan

isn't he he sees what you get yeah pretty much and he's got a massive family as well so it'll be you know there'll be lots going on

but hopefully it's not as petty drama filled as the Kardashians but it's not as petty drama filled as the Kardashians but it's starting on TVNZ2 from February the 15th. So a couple of weeks,

10 days away. Wow. It'll be nice to hear from his mum, April Walker. Wouldn't it, Jono? We met his lovely mum, April.

She was awesome. She came along to one of our TV show recordings because Stan was on the show. We're interviewing Stan and Stan's like, oh, my mum's here. And Jono's like,

bring her up, which was great. Bring her up. But this is, I think we might even have been live at the time. We were live, yeah. But in my ear, we had the producer talking,

going, oh, she's not, she hasn't got a microphone on. We won't be able to hear. It's just saying it to both of us. But Jono, for some reason, wasn't listening. I was ignoring her. I was like,

bring up April Walker. Here's April Walker, ladies and gentlemen. Jono, she's got no microphone. We can't hear her. Jono brought it up. You did an interview with her. She's like, Jono, we's got no microphone. We can't hear her. So Jono brought it up. You did an interview with her. So she's like,

Jono, we can't hear anything. Jono, no one can hear what she's saying. So you're just speaking and no one can hear her. Yeah, I know. I'm interviewing a lady who you can't hear

back on television. I'm like, why is Jono ignoring the producer? Well, listen, hopefully they mic April Walker up for this new show. Yeah, she's hard case.

She's awesome. She's a very funny lady. But yeah, I'm pretty no one could hear what she was saying. And that was my bad. That was on me. Very unprofessional broadcasting on my part. Another black mark against my name. And a theme park in Utah named Evermore

is suing Taylor Swift for stealing their name for her 2020 album, one of her 2020 albums that she released, which was also called Evermore. And I don't think she would have stolen it from a theme park in Utah. Hold on. Just ring, ring. We've got another court case on the phone.

It's 2001 New Zealand band from Fielding, Evermore. Oh, yeah. They're going to come in on this suing, Chuck. Yeah, they were before the whole thing. They should come in. They are coming hard. Run in, run in. Oh, yeah. They're going to come in on this suing show. Oh, yeah, they were before the whole thing. They should come in. They are coming home. Running, running. Yeah, that was their song.

Yeah, it was a good song. It was great. Whatever happened to you? I seen the light surrounding you. Don't be afraid of loving you. Whatever happened? A couple of brothers from Fielding, three brothers from Fielding, I think it was Evermore,

and I think they went to Australia and stuff. They were awesome, yeah. Oh, when did they go? They disappeared. I know. They went, hey, we did music, we were very successful, now we'll go do some other stuff. That's what we'll do, an update on what Evermore are doing now. Try and trick down Evermore.

That's a great idea. We should get them to do that song. See the lights around. We should probably stop singing before we don't want to hear that. For more, you can head to the hits.co.nz. Yeah, yeah, nah. Yeah, nah. Yeah, nah.

The home of yeah, nah. She'll be right in at the end of the day. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. Wrapping up our show, we'll be back again on Tuesday on the radio playing Five Words for 5K, our new game. Oh, geez, agonisingly again. Close this morning. We've got four out of five words with Debs.

Oh, mate, I'm ready to wee my pants. I already have, Debbie. Clean off in the soundproof booth. All right. And the final word is club. Come on, mate. I'm going to go club med. Oh, no.

It was sport. Just a simple game of word association, but it is so tough to match up the five words from a listener and one of us. But we've done it once before, so hopefully we can do it next week. We'll do it at 7.45 Tuesday. Have a wonderful long weekend. Thank you so much for listening, New Zealand. We'll catch you Monday from 6.

Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from 6 on The Hits and via the iHeartRadio app. Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys weekdays from six on the hits and via the iHeartRadio app. Jono and Ben on the hits breakfast. Friends of Skinny.