Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - February 09 - Jono Went Headfirst Into A SNAPPER!

Episode Date: February 8, 2021

Today we had our second WINNER for 5 Words for $5K - Emma from Auckland! She trusted Jono to match her words, and HE DID! She's now 5K richer and we're doing it all again tomorrow live on The Hits at 7.45am. Over the long weekend, Jono basically had a Mexican standoff with a snapper in the ocean... It sure was weird. Pun intended. Finally, we talked about the most embarrassing moments that have happened to you in a shop... breaking things, accidental shoplifting... We basically learnt through this that you just simply shouldn't bring your kids shopping! Enjoy the podcast!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Hey, podcast intro today, and I tell you what, I feel like... I think you're turning up my headphones.

I'm turning up your headphones. It's quite loud. Sorry, I'm next to Ben's headphone knob knob and I've turned it probably up to 120. Are you okay? Can you still hear? It's like my mic is getting louder and louder and louder. Oh, those are my ones there. And the reason that I'm all a little bit fumbly and not in my natural environment, I feel

like I've turned up to work with no trousers on, is that today for the podcast intro, Millennial Max is running the buttons. It's lovely to have you over there, Millennial Max. Yeah, no worries. It's great to hang out with you during the podcast intro, Millennial Max is running the buttons. Lovely to have you over there, Millennial Max. Yeah, no worries. It's great to hang out with you during the podcast intro. It does feel weird. We're all sitting in different seats right now. I feel rattled. When you sleep in the other side of the bed at home and you're like, what is this? Why are we doing this?

But it feels so weird. You guys are weirdly close to each other as well. Yeah, quite close. I don't feel like I'm in a comfortable space to do a podcast intro, but we're here anyway, And I'll consent to it. Now, Millennial Max, what you don't know about Millennial Max, German background and speaks fluent German. Did you know that? Yeah, I did know that, yeah.

Yeah. It's because I told you both at the same time. Yeah, I did. That's really interesting. So do you think in German or do you think in English? Definitely think in English. And the weird thing is, if I'm away from Germany for an extended period of time, I lose the language. All right.

We're speaking to someone on the weekend who speaks Te Reo. And she was saying that she thinks... In Te Reo. Yeah. And so when she's talking English, she actually has to second guess or second... She has to question everything. Yeah. Because it's not her first language.

Yeah. And she was a lovely lady. It was awesome. Yeah. No, it's interesting, isn't it? So can you teach us? Hello, we're Jono and Ben and this is our podcast. I don't even know what the word for podcast is, but guten tag.

Guten tag. Guten tag. Wir sind. Wir sind. Jono and Ben. Guten tag. Wir sind. Jono and Ben.

Und hier ist unser podcast. You're just saying, here is the podcast in a German. That is podcast. Here is the podcast. And Jono

and Ben transfers across. I guess that's not like the German language. So if in doubt, just put on a German accent and like the German word. The languages are quite similar. Yeah, right. Okay. So if in doubt, just put on a German accent and say the English word. I don't know if that's culturally acceptable. Fun show today. $5,000 was won on the show today.

Also, you'll hear it on the podcast. You did really well. We won the game. Oh, I tell you, it's exhilarating. We're in the 5K Club now. We've got Hayley and Emma, and she was very excited, going to put the money towards a business.

Now, also on the show, very interesting conversation I found around electric vehicles that unplanned. I spouted off some nonsense made up. And then I fact-checked you mid-show, and then we had to talk more about it as well. Spouted off made-up nonsense, And our old co-host, Sharon Casey, is just pointing through the window at us. So we also got on the show,

you said electric vehicles. Now, I started spouting off some absolute nonsense about the fire department and how they were not backing electric vehicles in New Zealand. It turns out it was all made up. And you had to... I had to fact-check you.

And it seems like you can't put them out with water if anything happens. They reckon they're safer than petrol vehicles. But yeah, if they do, they just require a bit more water. But you're like, oh, they're worried. They're all sorts. Anyway, you'll hear that unfold in the upcoming podcast. Have a great day. Enjoy.

Jono and Ben, or as they're known in the office, those two. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the hits. It is the hits, Jono and Ben. It's 7.45 on your Tuesday morning. Let's do this. Five words for 5K on the hits. You're only five words away from a massive payday. It happens each morning at 7.45 on the hits,

our game of word association. We give you five words. You say the thing that pops into your head. You lock in a word off those words. If those five words match up with our five words, you are $5,000 richer. That's right. It's pretty tense listening. Emma, welcome.

Good morning, guys. It's probably the most tense listening since I accidentally overheard Boss Todd talking about how they wanted to terminate our contracts last week. Emma. Good morning. Five words stand between you and $5,000. That's a lot of money. Yep, you know how the game works. You need to pick either Ben or myself to go into the soundproof booth.

I'm going to go with you, Jono. Jono, you've done well the last couple of days, a four out of five. So why did you decide to go with Jono. Jono, you've done well the last couple of days, a four out of five. So why did you decide to go with Jono? I don't know, he just came to mind. Yeah, you're right. Hopefully it's the great, he came to mind because we're going to get it today. We're going to get it.

We're in sync here. Okay, the soundproof booth also, it's an actual booth. People think we're making this up. No, it's actually here. Just to prove we have it on camera. It also acts as a workplace confessional and a urinal outside of show hours. So I'll go into the urinal right now. He's making his way over there. Do you want me to give his bald head a bit of rub

for good luck? Yes, please. Rub that bald head. There we go. I'm giving it a rub as he makes his way into the soundproof booth. Emma, you know how the game works? Yes, I definitely do. You've been playing along at home. Okay, I'm going to say five words. He's locked himself in the booth. And you tell me the words that you want to lock in off those words.

Your first word is shortland. Pardon? Shortland. Street. Seems like the obvious one, doesn't it? Shortland Street. Yeah, okay. Kiwi icon.

Okay. Next word is ironing. Ironing. Board. Okay, board. Clothes. Both are good options. What are you going to go with?

Are you going to lock on board, the first thing you said? Yeah, I'll go board. Okay. I think that seems like a sensible, that's the thing that popped into my head as well. Yes, same with mine. I think it's safe. Okay. Your next word, Emma, is tick.

Tick. Tick. Did you say pick? Tick with a T. Tick. Oh, tick. I've got two things that come to my mind when I think of tick. Talk it out.

Let's talk it out, Emma. What's popping into your I think of tick. Talk it out. Do this. Talk it out, Emma. What's popping into your head? Tock. Oh, yes, yes. True. Yeah, yeah. And then correct, like, you know, because it means that you're right.

I'll go tock. I'll just go with my gut feeling. Okay, go with your gut. That sounds good. All right, Emma, your next word is hammer. Hammer. Nail. Nail. And finally, your final word is champagne. So I've got two that come to mind too.

I've got glass or I've got wine because what goes in the champagne is wine. Oh, it's tough, isn't it? When you have those options, eh? You're like, what am I going to go with? Champagne. Well, bottle comes to mind too. Oh, yes.

So many. I don't want to say other words that pop into mind too because I don't want to like just, yeah, it's all up to you, Emma. What are you going to lock in? I'll go bottle. Champagne, that's your word. Okay, those are your five words, Emma.

All the very best. I'll get Jono out of the soundproof booth. I'm giving him a big wave in the corner of the studio. He's coming out there. Emma, I think you did pretty well. Thank you. He looks a little bit exhausted. I don't know why he's coming out.

Well, hopefully he's the good exhausted we need. He's come out looking very, very exhausted. Quite sweaty and exhausted. Yeah, I don't know if it's exhausting in there we need. You come out looking very, very exhausted. Quite sweaty and exhausted. Yeah, I don't know if it's exhausting in there. But no, okay. Emma did, I think, really well, but there was a couple of words that we all went, oh, there was different options that pop into your head,

but I've got a good feeling about this, John. I hope we can win Emma some money. How, on a percentage scale, how confident are you, Emma? Oh, it's really hard because, yeah, I'm very confident, but then again, I don't know the mind of another person, so because of that, I'm unsure. Okay, well, and remember, the careless whisper rule is in play. If we hear any whispering of answers,

you'll hear George Michael's sultry sax play down the phone and you'll be eliminated from the game. Okay, so no whispering. It's okay. No legal whispering. Alright, we're going to listen to see if Jono matches up with your words. Here we go, Jono. The first word that I said to Emma was Shortland

Street. Shortland Street. He didn't even need it repeated. He's just bang, he's straight in there. My favourite television show. Okay. It's one from five. Five words to win five grand. I know how the game works. I know. I'm just trying to milk the drum.

You are. You're doing a good job. You're doing a great job. Okay. The next word is ironing. Ironing. Make your time. Ironing board?

Yes. Are we two from two, Emma? Two from two. Woo-hoo. Two from five. All right. Next word is tick. Tick. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Oh, yes. Two from five. All right. Next word is tick.

Tick. Tick tock. Woo-hoo! Emma! Oh, God. Come on, Jono. This is where I unravel, though. This is where I unravel. Come on, you've got two more.

Come on, you can't. We rubbed their boldies. We rubbed their boldies. We rubbed their boldies. Go on, Jono. Okay, next word is hammer. Hammer. I don't know.

I'm thinking hammer hardware for some reason, but I won't look. Hammer nail. Is that four? Are you serious? Four from five. Oh, it's a good thing you didn't look at Emma, because that wasn't what we were looking for, but we got one more word right now.

This is the word that in my head, I had lots of options. Emma was struggling as well. She came up with about three words for this one. So this is it. Was your words matching with hers? I see why she got there. It would have probably been in my five. But it's so hard.

Putting you on the spot right now. The final word we need to match up with for Emma to win $5,000. Champagne. Champagne. I'm going... I've got two. Can I talk my two out or do I just give an answer? Do you know...

I don't know. I don't know if Emo would want to... Let him talk it out. Please let him talk it out. Let's get it off his chest. Okay. I'm going glass. Or I'm going bottle.

I don't know. Okay, but can we put Emo on hold? I don't want to. I'll put Emo on hold. We're going to put her on hold. Okay. I'm not saying that. I'm going bottle. I don't know. Okay, but can we put Emma on hold? I don't want to. I'll put Emma on hold. We're going to put her on hold. Okay. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying.

Just don't want any influence because this is for five grand right now. Jono Pryor, we need a decision. I'll go. We need a decision. I'm going to go. I'll lock in champagne bottle. You got five grand.

Did we? You got five grand. Did we? You did it. You did it. You did it. Emma. Five grand.

Emma. Oh, my God. Wow. I was so close to going glass. Thank you, Johnno! Thank you, Johnno! Thank you, Johnno! You just made my day!

Wow! Oh, my God! Emma! $5,000, five words for my brand. That's how it works! Our second winner! Thank you so much for the hits! Thank you so much!

What are you going to spend the money on, Emma? I've just started a business with my wife, and we've been struggling financially to get something that costed four grand, and you've just answered our prayers, so thank you very much. Oh, Emma. I was so close to going glass. Oh. Yeah, I know.

As soon as you said that, I was like, oh, you've said both the words. You've said both the words. It's there, but I can't even look at you. It can be done. It can be done, Emma. Five grand. Our second winner, five words, 5K. It's back again tomorrow.

You can be 5K richer. It is the Hats. Well done, Emma. Morning. This show contains traces of Jono and Ben. The Hats with Jono and Ben for breakfast. A really funny incident in a shop on Saturday. And it was, you know, a youthy, surfy, skatey shop.

Clothing shop. And I went in there and I was like, oh, try some trousers on. And they were the kind of trousers with some pockets on the side, you know. Cargoes. And I went into the dressing room and I put them on. And the assistant, the shop assistant, and they always do this,

are you alright in there? And I never know how deep I go with the answer. Actually, things aren't good. I've got relationship issues. Dog's got halitosis. I just got a parking ticket. They do that all the time.

You're right in there. You're right in there. What do you think I'm doing in here? It's like, I know how to put on pants. I've done it before. At least I think I know how to do it. And they never give you enough time to even put the pants on.

It's like you walked in there. You're only in there for five seconds. You all right in there? Yeah. You all right with the size? Are you shaming me about my hands? So I tried the pants on, and then you kind of emerge. You don't feel confident emerging from a changing room,

do you, when you try? And they always have the mirror, but it's on the main shopping area. Yeah. Where you're trying to model in front of the mirror. I don't know why you feel like you need to parade it to the people at the shop. It's like to walk out of them and go,

yeah, okay, those are the pants you need to buy. Do you do that, Judy? Oh, it's so embarrassing. I hate it. Everything you're saying right now, I'm like, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. You're trying to get a gawk of yourself in the mirror, but also at the same time

not look vain. Yeah. And then so I was on the fence with them and I said, what do you think? What do you think to the shop assistant who asked me if I was alright in there? And she's like, hmm. She started, hmm. Oh, so not a great sign. She's like, ten years

ago, maybe. Really? Ten years ago, maybe maybe I like the honesty though you don't want to walk out of there and go well I did that the other day remember the shirt with the emojis on it and my wife was like

oh yeah and so I was like I was like oh dear god am I a 39 year old trying to dress like a bath salt taking teenager and so then

I sort of put the pants back and then I wasn't all right after that. Now you're going to ask me how I am? I'm sad. My feelings are hurt. I'm sad on the inside now. I'm going to sulk out of this shop. What's happened to you in a shop?

Oh, a few instances. Especially with the kids. They've had stuff where they've knocked stuff over too. You're better off taking a bull into a china shop and see the children. Something's broken and the lady was so nice. She's like off taking a bull into a china shop and send it to children. Something's broken. And the lady was so nice. She's like, it's all right.

And you can tell it's not all right. She's like, it's fine. It's fine. Do you have to pay for it when they break it? I offered to pay for it. But I was like, I'll pay for this. But then another time with the kid, when they were really little, one of our kids was about three years old,

had obviously picked up something in the shop, unbeknown to me, and then walked out in the mall. And then I turned around about 50 metres up the mall. And I was like, uh-oh, they're carrying something in their hand from the shop. They'd just picked up not knowing anything. And then I had to return it, but I felt like I was a shoplifter with remorse, you know, coming back in without the kid going, hey, so my kid... Why would you bring the kid back in?

I know. That's who you pin the blame on. I know, but we were back in before and it was thing and they took it out of the shop and they're like... They're like, well, where's your kid now, mate? Mr. Honesty? I know. Really awkward situation. You feel

like you stole it on purpose. Kids and old people can get away with shoplifting can't they? It's easy for them. So what we want to do is we want to talk shop. Let's talk shop this morning. Do you either work in a shop? Are you in retail? Whatever. Have you had an incident as a customer? Funniest thing that's happened to you in a shop setting, would love your calls.

Come join us on New Zealand's Breakfast, 0800 The Hits. We'll start with Sarah, more than a Sarah from Invercargill, what happened? Oh well, my lovely son had a Mr. Whippy Cone, and I very nicely asked him to stand outside the store for a second, but he didn't listen and came in anyway and ended up smearing ice cream all over the clothes and the little shoes that were on the floor. Oh, man. Now, again, Ben, you didn't have to pay for the item that your kids broke.

Did you have to pay for that, Sarah? Yep. Oh, yeah. Well, I offered to when they said no have to pay for that, Sarah? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, I offered to when they said no, but in your situation, they're like, yeah, okay. You're like, these shoes don't even fit me. They're the wrong size. Well, you've got to pay for them anyway. Yeah.

Good on you, Sarah. Thank you very much. We're going to send you out a birthday cake. Thanks to us ordering for Skinny's ninth birthday, all right? You enjoy that cake. Thanks. All right. Classic us, over-ordering cakes.

Yeah, that's what we do. We'll go to Rochelle. Morning, Rochelle. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast, The Shop. Let's talk it. Morning. What happened, matey? So I was in a paint store a couple of days ago with my niece.

Uh-oh. She's in her classic terrible twos, and she decided to take a tantrum, rip the paint off the thing that went everywhere. Why would you take a two-year-old to a paint store? I needed to go. Was it a resume or something? I've been a nice auntie and looking after her.

Oh, dangerous game. Playing with fire there, Rochelle. Well, now you can reward her for that paint-based incident with a cake, okay? We're going to give you one because it's Skinny's ninth birthday. Thanks, Pete. Good on you. We'll go to James you one because it's Skinny's ninth birthday. Thanks, mate. Good on you. We'll go to James. Welcome.

You're on the air, Jimmy. Hello. What happened in the shop? I used to be a manager in a toy store and on a regular occurrence, perhaps on the weekends, kids would be so damn excited about toys, they would defecate in the aisles.

Oh, jeez. That's when you know you definitely want that Paw Patrol toy. Yeah, that's true. Well, the problem is they would hold it up and show it to their parents.

I hope we're still talking about the Paw Patrol toy and not something else. Oh, James. Clean up in aisle three. Who has to deal with that, James? Me, mostly. But, you know,

as I progressed through management, I suppose, it was delegation. Why don't you just get one of those plastic shovels you take to the beach for the toy bucket and just sort of scoop it up and put it away? Well, the irony is we did have that in the back. Oh, what, a toy one?

Yeah, a toy one we would use, yeah. Oh, that is brilliant. I mean, there's an age where that doesn't become cute. It becomes a criminal offence. Yeah. But up until the age of 16, it's pretty cool, right? True, true. I didn't make any sandcastles out of it. Good on you, James. James, sending you out a cake to celebrate Skinny's

ninth birthday, right? Thank you. We apologise in advance. Sorry about that. Sorry about that. I'm sorry to rope you into this. Sorry you've been dragged into this. Jono and Ben. Breakfast on the heads. The heads. So I went to Whangamata over the weekend just for a day. And driving down with the kids,

have you seen or heard of the game Sweet and Sour? Oh, yes. Our kids play that when they wave at people. If they wave back, they're sweet. And if they don't, they're sour. Is that what it is? It's basically just... But then in bumper-to-bumper traffic, you've got a motorist behind you,

and the kids are, like, furiously waving in the back window, and, you know, someone's waved, and they've been nice, but then the kids don't know when to pull out. They just keep waving, and it sort of ends up harassment, doesn't it? They're sweet. Oh, no, now they're sour. Oh, no, they've just waved once, and now they want to carry on with their driving. Oh, they've turned on us. They've turned on, and if they don't wave I know, they've just waved once and now they want to carry on with their driving. Oh, they've turned on us.

They've turned on. And if they don't wave, wow, wee. They're put in the sour category. But I had an incident in the ocean. It was very warm, the water. Isn't it quite licey when it turns warm, the water? Sea lice, yeah. Quite bitey.

But I was just in the shoreline and the waves were coming in and I was diving into a wave and I saw a snapper headlight looking at me did you? so he was stuck in the wave or she

everyone can be snappers it's 2021 and I could see the fear in the snapper's eyes the snapper's like oh I'm too close to shore. This is not my home turf here. It was like a Finding Nemo situation. And he could see the fear, or she,

could see the fear in my eyes. And you know when you're walking down the footpath in town and it's busy, but you lock eyes with the person who's coming towards you and you're both like, okay, well, one of us has got to veer out of the way. But then you both go left or you both go right. You're not doing some sort of dance thing that's going on. You're like, oh, that way.

Oh, you go, yeah. Yeah, it's kind of a ballet and you sort of almost end up walking. It was like this with the snapper. The snapper was like, okay, I'll go this way. And then I was like, I'll go that way. And we did that two or three times until eventually I had a head-on collision with a snapper.

What? He went straight into my forehead. I think you're making up something. Okay, I made up that bit. I made up that bit just to make the story cooler. I did and the snapper just swerved away and we didn't hit each other. You put your head under the water

to go towards it and then it swam out. I just thought it was a better out to the bit before I said the snapper hit me in the head. Well, it clearly didn't happen. You've got to just roll with it. What? I mean, come on. And then I caught it. And then ate it for dinner.

Like a bear. I caught it in my mouth. And I walked out of the ocean with a snapper in my mouth, flapping. To everyone pulling a sickie today, you're not fooling anyone. Jono and Ben,

breakfast on the hits. I was just thinking over the weekend at home, about six months ago we got given a piano. It was gifted too, It was a gifted piano and we were like, why would anyone

give away a piano? And it's quite a good looking piano. It works, it's all tuned. Is it wooden? Yeah, it's a wooden piano.

Are all pianos wooden? Is it like the texture of wood, the colour of wood? Yeah, I was like, why would anyone give away a piano?

All you've got to do is pick it up. And then six months after having the piano and having two kids in the house, this is the constant soundtrack in the lounge. So you figured out why they gave away the piano. This is why someone gave away a piano. How did you transport the piano from where it was to your house?

Oh, no, we got a piano mover to do it. The people that just seemed to specialise in pianos. Just pianos? They could branch out into movies. They'd probably do some other stuff, but that was the quick... No, no, to specialise in pianos. Just pianos? They could branch out into movies. They'd probably do some other stuff, but that was the quick... No, no, we only deal in pianos. I've got also a saxophone. Not going to do it.

But as a parent, I was thinking, you know, there's those times when the kids just have friends over and they're just banging on the piano. You wish you could have like a mute button, just to kind of like, they can have their fun, but you just want to kind of mute it like you could do with the loud commercials on the TV. And Amanda, my dad, sorry, Amanda's dad, Amanda, my wife. All right, Joe Biden.

Have you got that audio, Juliet? I did, Joe Biden. I did it. Oh my goodness. You have spent seven months mocking Joe Biden for doing essentially the same thing. And I would like the audience now to compare. They switched on me.

Here we go. By the way, this is my little sister, Valerie, and I'm Jill's husband. Oh, no, this is my wife. This is my sister. They switched on me. Yeah, they switched on me. Amanda, my wife, and her dad switched on me.

But he's got a great thing. He's basically got hearing aids. And so what he does now, often when he comes around and things are too noisy, he just takes the hearing aid. Takes the hearing aid. Oh, my God. I mean, there's many downsides to losing your hearing. But just being able to shut your ears off, it must be a joy.

He'll sit there and he'll be smiling away. You're like, he's having a good time. And then you ask him, you're like, want a cup of tea? And he'll be like, oh, what? I haven't got my ears in. You know? But it's quite a symbolic act when you actually, you can witness someone pulling the aids of hearing out just so they don't have to listen to what you have to say.

You're like, wow. Mid-conversation, you're like, oh, okay. Yeah, he does that when he's listening to our radio show as well, I imagine. He can't hear this right now. Yeah. Can we say hello to him? No, he won't. He pulls them out.

Can you turn hearing aids down or do they have to just come out? Yes, I think you can. I think you can turn it up and turn it down. You never crack it. It gets that sort of feedback sort of. My nana used to run hers at, oh, optimum level. They would be like. She couldn't stand to any other speakers

or anything like that. She would start feeding back in the headphones. That's what happens. Oh, there we go. Well done, Amanda's dad. He's clocked life by losing his hearing and not having to hear Ben. And well done for me,

nearly getting some of the family details correct. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Put the romance into your Valentine's Day with Jono and Ben. You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Put the romance into your Valentine's Day with Jono and Ben and Food Snob. Sounds romantic. I feel like I'm on The Bachelor or something.

It's happening this weekend on Sunday, and no matter what it is, Food Snob products are always the best of their kind. Now, they've got these amazing platters. They sent one in to work the other day and it's filled with everything from olives, bell peppers, so many different types of cheeses. So many cheeses. Cheeses from cows, cheeses from goats, cheeses from

cats. I've been eating cheese or cat cheese. I feel like I'm half human, half rodent now I've eaten so much cheese. Beautiful cheeses all displayed beautifully with crackers and olives and antipasto stuff. It's all from Food Snob. They're all displayed beautifully with crackers and olives and antipasto stuff. It's all from Food Snob. You can check it out online and get your own.

It's romantic. It's like a Paris experience at home with Food Snob as well. You know, it's an amazing thing. And we've got some of these to give away in time for Valentine's Day. Baby cheeses, teenager cheeses, retired cheeses, all the cheeses. Did you like all the cheeses? Yeah. Did you eat all the cheeses?

I'm eating all the cheeses. I ate all the cheeses. Yeah, but amazingeses. I think all the cheeses. I ate all the cheeses. Yeah, but amazing. Two minutes of cheese overload and it was wonderful. So we'll go to Charmaine in Papamoa. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast, Charmaine. Hi there. Lovely to have you on.

Now you entered the hits.co.nz, New Zealand's leading website. I did. You've nominated your partner. Let's talk some stats. What's his name? His name's James. Right. James, a lovely man? Yes, he is. He's a good guy. So what we want to do

is give you not only a food snob, a hamper, but we also want to write a little romantic poem about James for you to give to you to read out to him on Valentine's Day. How's that sound? Oh, okay. Yeah, no, that sounds good. Okay, we'll get a little bit of a back story.

How did you guys meet? We met on Tinder. Okay. It's a very popular form of meeting people these days. Yeah, it is. Well, pretty much everybody does, so. Yeah. What happened to the old pashing in the bar at one in the morning?

That's gone away, has it? Where did you go for your first date? We went to the Astrolabe in the mountains. Okay, the morning. That's gone away, hasn't it? Where did you go for your first date? We went to the Astrolab in the mountains. Okay, the bar. And then just went, yeah, just met up there and then went for a movie

and then, yeah, we kind of were just friends to begin with. But we went on all these really cool adventures together and we had lots of laughs and we just kind of connected and then it grew from there.

So it was cool. What does he do for a job? He's a web developer and he works on orchards. What sort of orchards? Avocado. Oh, okay. I like Avocado Juliet.

She's just put a smile on her millennial avocado-consuming face. Oh, gosh, jealous. That's right. And listen, I understand because I'm just looking at your note here. He was with you during some pretty tough times in your life. Yeah, I've just had a bit of surgery lately and been through a bit of tough times

so he's been there that whole time beside me so that was cool. He's a good guy. Listen, you better hold on to him or else I'm going to come to Papa Ma and snap him up for myself. Share a cheese platter with him. Yeah. He sounds amazing. Well, you sound deserving

of a food snob hamper, but we're going to write your poem as well. If you want to stick around, we'd love to. We'll give ourselves how long? A few minutes?

Well, have we got the air break, Juju? Yeah. Okay, stick around for a panic poem. Yeah. We're going to try and rustle this up

during the air break. Don't go anywhere, Charmaine. You stay there too, Altair. We'll be back after this. Yeah, yeah, nah. Yeah, nah. Yeah, nah. The whole movie. Yeah,air. We'll be back after this. Yeah, yeah, no. Yeah, no. Yeah, no. The home of yeah, no.

She'll be right in at the end of the day. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. If you want to register online at thehits.co.nz, just in time for Valentine's Day, you can win a personalised love poem by the two of us. What a treat. Which is not a great prize. Well, it's sort of put together in an era of stress, you know.

William Shakespeare didn't compose his greatest works during a three and a half minute ad with bedpost jingles and John and Adrian from Magnus Benro, but we're here doing it. Yeah, but you also win, which is a great prize, a beautiful food snob hamper and you can win the draw to win an amazing night away for you and your partner with a fancy meal

as well. It's all in time for Valentine's Day and thank you so much to Food Snob. As we said, Plater came into work the other day, and it's amazing. All the cheeses, all the crackers. It's beautiful. Charmaine, you've already won all the cheeses that the world can provide, okay? I just said every animal has been milked for your enjoyment. Oh, that sounds great.

And we have written a poem, Bear in Mind, in a race against time. Now, this is for James, your wonderful partner for Valentine's Day. We hope he's listening. You told us some information previous to the ad break and we've tried to bespoke this poem. Here we go. James, James, we met

on Tinder and I first saw you in the Astrolab bar. I was glad I swiped right and went to meet you that night. You work on an avocado orchard. Lucky I like them or that would be awkward. I knew you were my type, like an avocado that's ripe. Like Bieber sings you're holy, I want to mash you like guacamole.

I don't know if that quite makes sense But anyway, it was a rush Thank you for being there during my surgery You also work in IT I want you to log into me Now we had issues about that line I wasn't keen on it, John I wanted to But anyway, it's there, that's your option

There are creative differences there Our love is like a fine brie on a platter of cheese Oh and by the way James, I won one of those for free. Thanks, it's a food snob. Bought you by Food Snob. That's your palm. You can use that if you want, but the hamper is coming your way just in time for Valentine's Day.

Oh, that's so very cool. Thanks, guys. Listen, that was maybe the most romantic thing you'll hear. Especially that IT logging in line. Thank you so much for listening to the show. Have a great Valentine's Day. And James sounds amazing. Thank you.

Good on you, Charmaine. Add these two men together and somehow you get three quarters worth of a normal man. The Hits with Jono and Ben for breakfast. Buy. Know what's up. Buy.co.nz All right, so Julia's been busy all morning

deciding whether she leads with the Kim Kardashian broken toenail story or the Chrissy Teigen unpaid parking ticket yarn. What one did you go with, Juju? Neither of them, unfortunately. I'm sorry. It's going to be the Super Bowl edition of Spy today. Yesterday was obviously the Super Bowl.

As many of us probably, we really only care about the halftime show and the ads probably, the commercials. They do a good job in America of dragging out their sports, don't they? Basketball can go on for three hours. Football's one of the ones, American football is. They have lots of time out, lots of teams coming on and off the field. And the weekend, he was the halftime performer. And usually the Super Bowl halftime show is quite a big deal.

A lot of money goes into it. He paid $9 million of his own money to go towards the production to make it epic and it was a real epic performance. He performed a medley of all his hits and then finished on Blinding Lights. He's got a very Michael Jackson-y

vibe about him. He does. I think Michael Jackson's... Musically speaking, not the other... One of his inspirations is a musical performer, I think Michael Jackson was there when he was growing up. Even his outfit with the red and the black and the gloves is very Michael Jackson-y.

Yeah, and all of his dances for this song, they were all wearing matching outfits to him. And then if you've seen photos of The Weeknd recently, you might notice that he has bandages all over his face, like on red carpets and stuff. And that's kind of just like a thing that he does. It's supposed to sort of represent Hollywood and plastic surgery and all of that.

Oh, I thought he just had a shocking incident with the old face razor. You know, when you put your toilet paper on there and you have to get to take it off. I can't feel his face. That's his problem. That is good. Makes it difficult for shaving every morning.

Oh, there we go, another one. But all of his dancers were wearing bandages all over his face as well, all over their face as well. And social media obviously picks up on all the memes. The memes go crazy every Super Bowl year. Rip the mickey out of him.

So there was a part in his performance where he was kind of going through a maze of mirrors and holding a camera, kind of like a dad trying to figure out how to use FaceTime. It was a shocking camera work as well. It was all over the show. It made me feel like motion sick.

Yeah, yeah. And all the memes started like, oh, this is like mum trying to take a selfie. And then there was him kind of walking around the maze looking really confused. And memes came up. You know, me, five years old, losing my mum in the supermarket. Like, it's all meme-ified, his performance.

But overall, it was a great, great performance with pretty much all positive feedback. Well, that's great. And it was a great investment of $9 million on his part, isn't it? Because he'll sell so many albums. Oh, no, album song downloads and things like that now. The flow-on effect economically for the weekend is fantastic. Maybe he'll have that surgery so he can start feeling his face

and shave safely. And that is Spy Super Bowl edition. For more, you can head to the Hits website. Broadcasting live and mostly awake. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the Hits. Now, a friend of the show, Skinny, it's their ninth birthday today, and we were going to surprise them with some cakes after the show. I brought some cakes, and you brought some cakes.

And we ended up with too many cakes, because we're like, well, give them nine cakes, and then you got nine cakes, I got nine cakes. I thought it was on me, and you said you go do it, but I know you didn't trust me to do it, and I didn't trust myself to do it. It's probably the first thing I've ever followed through on. And what do you know?

We've ended up with 18 cakes and that's too many cakes. So we're going to give away nine cakes this morning. We've already given away a couple. We thought right now we'll celebrate Skinny's birthday by giving you a cake. And if you are having a birthday today, well then you share it

with New Zealand's best telco company, Skinny. And I put my name to that. And they will not want to be associated with my name. Have you been to a ninth birthday before? Wild. It can be very wild, yes. Wild. Gee whiz, it's like you and your friends, Juliet, when you go party.

Uncontrolled. You're all on your own. You're living your own stories. And you're talking, but none of it's making sense. Sounds fun. We had a magician turn up at a friend's son's one. And the magician was doing a really good job, a pretty fantastic job, and he was doing his thing

and it was outside on the lawn. But he bent down at one point. And I didn't notice this, but he was wearing a hairpiece. I don't know why i'm whispering when i say hairpiece all right and this is fine yeah he was under it but the unfortunate thing was he was under a tree and the branch got caught the hairpiece and he kept going down but then the hairpiece was hanging off the the twig on the tree oh maybe it was a trick like my hair when they said we got a trick with a hair i thought he was going to pull a rabbit out of my head but i was like

that was impressive but then he kind of panicked and then just sort of slapped it back on his head. And it was sort of sitting uneven for the remainder of the performance. And we're like, is this part of the routine? You couldn't quite figure it out. And then the same magician turned up at another party six months later.

And then he would start to do his tricks. And my son would be like, oh, he's going to do the card thing my son would be like oh he's gonna do the card thing here it's gonna be the nine of spades and then he's like he was kind of undercutting the poor magicians yeah it's like mate yeah we can wait for everyone else it must be a nightmare being a kid's entertainer oh yeah kids parties i mean as you say their kids are all jacked up on you know all sorts of stuff they're just running at 120 aren't they when you say, the kids are all jacked up on all sorts of stuff. They're just running at 120, aren't they? When you say all sorts of stuff, not.

No, no. Just sugar. Yeah, mainly just sugar. We're not giving kids all sorts of stuff. But we wanted to know this morning,

what has ever happened at a kid's party? What's the funniest thing that's ever happened? My daughter, I was talking about this before when she was younger, she got into a head

that her friend was having a zombie birthday party, zombie themed, and everyone was dressing up. So we went quite hard out, you know, it was like a princess zombie like we ripped this dress, we did all sorts of stuff, we teased her hair we had, you know, like blood coming out of

her, you know, all makeup, everything. Turned up, no one else was in costume. I don't know where she got the zombie party. Where did you, was the message even passed on to her? I don't know, but then no one else was dressed up and you're just like, and I used to walk up the driveway and I'm like, uh oh, all the parents are looking like, wow, what's going on there? I sort of went to see and I was't know, but then no one else was dressed up. And I used to walk up the driveway and I'm like, uh-oh, all the parents are looking like, wow, what's going on there?

I sort of went to see and I was like, oh, hey, do you want to go home? And she's like, no, I'm all good. And they just carried on. You make whatever party

you want it to be, don't you? She wanted it to be a zombie party, so we do. Juliette always turns our morning teas into nightclub parties.

Yeah, that's true. It's a lot of fun though. You make of it what you want. So 800 the hits. We've got the ninth birthday cakes to give away thanks to our friend Skinny.

What happens at a kid's birthday party? The unpredictable things you get on the air. You get a cake, simple as that. 4487 if you want to text too. Justin, welcome.

Hey guys. Hey, how's it going? Justin Case, is that your name? That's the name. Magic is a game. Oh, you're a magician. Yeah, yeah, that's me. Oh, awesome. What's the things that your name? That's the name. Magic is a game. Oh, you're a magician. Yeah, yeah, that's me.

Oh, awesome. What sort of things do you do? Mate, I turn up with the clear case. I've got all the tricks in it, and I've got tricks for all ages and balloon animals. Okay, right. Oh, you're a balloon animal guy. You must have seen some stuff over the years, Justin.

Yeah, yeah. Magician first and foremost, and balloons and all-round entertainer. Oh, you've got three categories. Yeah. He's a triple threat. He's a triple threat in the kids' entertainment game. What's the best story from a kids' party, Justin? Well, often when they heckle, it actually adds to the show. Kids say the darnest things and so you're kind of open for that.

You're ready for that. You know, like you kind of almost want that because what they say is funny and out there, you know. And we never really get bummed out. Like I was doing a show and it was sunny and it's outside and I'm kind of on one knee on their level and a five-year- old just stands up and goes your show's too long.

You can trim 15-20 minutes off it. Yeah. And here I am on one knee, like just left in the dust, you know, and I just had to accept it. I just had to say, well cheers mate, thanks for your feedback. There's a form you can fill

out the back. And you can go online too and troll me as well. That's awesome Justin, appreciate, mate. Thanks for your feedback. There's a form you can fill out the back. And you can go online to Entroll Me as well. That's awesome, Justin. Appreciate your call. Sweet. Justin Case, love the pun name as well. That's awesome. We're going to send you out a skinny birthday cake.

What's the next call, Jono? We've got Kylie. Welcome on the air from Auckland. Kids parties. What went wrong, Kylo? Kylo? Hey, guys. Sorry, I apologise for Kylo.

I don't know where Kylo came from. It just splurted out. Kylie, I apologize for Kylo. I don't know where Kylo came from. It just split it out, Kylie. I'm sorry. Kaz had worse. So my brother wasn't nine at the time. He was turning eight at the time. And we hosted his birthday party at home. Got, like, a bouncy castle and everything.

It was a great time. Ordered him, like, a rainbow cake. And he invited about ten of his friends friends and about 20 minutes into the party one of his friends dropped his pants including his underwear and he just sits there naked on our couch um yeah so sits there he demands that we bring the cake to him we bring him a drink and some food and he just had a great time sitting there. Ben does that when he comes round to my house. Is that not acceptable?

Poof, clothes come off, he's on the couch, he's demanding everything. I thought the kid would demand you bring him some clothes. Nope, his mum came to pick him up about an hour later. Fully naked? Was he clothed by this time or? Nope. Still sitting there. And she goes, oh, yeah, he's just not a fan of pants. Oh.

Hey, pants, they're not for everyone. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But you should wear them to a party and in public. Hey, good on you, Kylie. Appreciate it. We'll send you out a ninth birthday cake. Thanks to Skinny. Hayley from Whanganui, welcome.

Hi. What happened at the birthday party, Hayley? Whanganui, welcome. Hi. What happened at the birthday party, Hayley? Oh, it was my daughter's two-year-old birthday party and my father-in-law brought his mother, which is the great-grandmother.

She's just been 101, so she was about 80, I suppose, when it happened. She's in a wheelchair and they were up on the decking and it was my brother-in-law as well

holding on to her and they all fell off. So they all rolled. Not like you know I was hurt off the veranda. So off our decking. With your grandmother? My great-

Well, it's my husband's grandmother, yes. She rolled down the decking? They all fell off the deck, yeah. Oh dear God. Oh my goodness. This is traumatic. Why are you laughing? Because I actually look quite funny.

What a 101-year-old lady falling off a deck. She's 101 now, but she was 80 around that time. Oh, she's 80 then. Oh, that's fine. Oh, listen, I don't know why I was worried. So she lived to 101, so she did all right. Oh, that is both equal parts traumatic and hilarious, Hayley. Thank you very much for your call.

Thank you. We'll send you out a birthday cake thanks to Skinny. Thank you. Real Kiwi blokes with soy lattes. Mmm. Shona and Ben, breakfast on the hits. Kia ora, I'm Rachel Jackson-Lees and this is the B**** News. Rachel Jackson-Lees, our news reader in association with Juliet, our producer.

Present the news in beeps. Now this is where Juliet beeps out certain words from headlines around the world and she is the only organisation censoring more Western news than the Chinese Communist government. And we have to figure out the headlines. Take it away, Ju. All right, your first news story. Nutella bosses reveal the c*** of the spread. Nutella bosses reveal the, I don't know, nuts and bolts.

Maybe that's what it's made up of. I'm going to say the torrid extramarital affairs of the spread. Okay. Nutella bosses reveal the correct pronunciation of the spread. And our newsreader hasn't pronounced it correctly. It's Nutella rather than Nutella. Yeah. So it was World Nutella Day on Friday, and to celebrate they were finally like,

well, we better let the world know that it's actually pronounced Nutella. I don't know why. It does have an Italian origin, so maybe that's part of it. But they also say, you know, pronounce however you like as long as you buy the product, pretty much. So we've all been saying it wrong for years. Yeah, Nutella. Nutella.

There you go. When you have it, you're like, this is the healthiest breakfast I could ever have. Nutella on toast. Yeah, some people put it on, what's a biscuit you can spread it on? Or you can dip it in. I saw a hack where someone was just like dipping like those coconut crispies into it. And they're literally eating the whole jars with. Once you start, I mean, it's the diet of a stoner. Bloody delicious though.

Oh, so good. Nutella, there we go. There you go, next story. A man who changed his name to *** during drunken night at home has no plans to change it back. What did he change his name to? I don't know. That boat was Bodie McBoatface. Was he Drunkie McDrunkface or something? Is that, you know? Could be.

Could be. I'm just going to say he changed his name from Gary to Stephen. He's got no plans to change it back. A man who changed his name to Celine Dion during drunken night at home has no plans to change it back. And he got in this situation. He was drunkenly watching Celine concerts on YouTube. He's like obsessed with her apparently. And paid $179 to change the name.

Completely forgot about it. And the documents turned up on his doorstep where you have to then get the witness while you sign it and all that jazz. But he's like, nah, I'm just going to keep it because I love Celine so much. Wow. Is it that easy to change your name? Well, I don't know. I think he was in the UK and I think the initial sort of process started happening,

but he didn't realise he had actually submitted it. Our radio producer, Dan, I'd say he would be, what, late 20s? He was a huge fan of Celine Dion and they went on a boys' trip to Vegas. Lads, lads, lads. And he went to Celine Dion. And he was like, why did none of their boys want to come to Celine? None of the other lads went to Celine with him. He just went by himself.

He said he cried. He cried. He cried during My Heart Will Go On. He did. He said it was the most beautiful moment ever. So he had a great time. So good on him for going. That is adorable.

Well, the lads, God knows what despicable things the lads, lads, lads were up to while Celine was singing. He was there watching. He was like, why wouldn't anyone go with me? He calls himself a celiac. One of the Celine Dion fans. He's signed up to the official fan club. He's got T-shirts.

He loves it. That is adorable. And the final story. Lost in Antarctica turns up in California 53 years later. I'm going to say car keys lost in Antarctica. Yeah. It'd be a nightmare. Yeah, the door from Titanic.

That's where that door ended up. Yeah. Wallet lost in Antarctica turns up in California 53 years later. Well, you were close with keys. Yeah, keys and wallets. So it was a guy called Paul Grisham. He worked as a Navy meteorologist back in the 60s in Antarctica. Lost his wallet, completely forgot about it,

but then it was found and they tracked him down and it turned up in California to his home. Antarctica doesn't seem like a location where you'd need a wallet. I don't know why you'd be having a wallet in your back pocket in Antarctica. Like, do we not leave our wallet in Antarctica? Have you guys got paywaves down here? Do you know what was in the wallet, though? One of the things, it wasn't very exciting,

but one of the things that was quite funny was a beer ration punch card that he found in the wallet. So it must have been one of those, maybe, you know, you get five beers and then if you buy five beers, you get your sixth free. Is that what they would be? Are we talking about drinking beers or like polar bears? Bears attacking him.

You kill five beers, you get one free. Drinking beer. So at least he was having a good time while down in the South. Nice work on News and Beeps, Jude. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Scrolling through your feed.

Now, here's some news you might be interested in. And if you're not interested in it, please don't say anything because it'll hurt his feelings. Ben Boyce with Scrolling Through Your Feed. Now, the Super Bowl happened. be interested in. And if you're not interested in it, please don't say anything because it'll hurt his feelings being voiced with scrolling through your feed. Now, the Super Bowl happened. It was Super Bowl Sunday in America. And, you know, the game happened. But most New Zealanders

don't really care so much about the game. They just care more about the halftime performance and the commercials. And how much they cost. That's all we care about. $5 million the cost for a commercial over there. And actually, one of the commercials that people are talking about today

was written by two Kiwi creatives. They work for a San Francisco creative company, Thomas Gledhill and Leanne Galloway. And they had to pitch for Cheetos, which is like, I guess it's like Cheezles, sort of the American equivalent of Cheezles. They had to pitch. Their company was pitching for the ad.

Their idea, and they came up with the idea of doing like a Shaggy remix of his ad, a parody of that. You know, the Shaggy song, It Wasn't Me. Is this the one when Shaggy's other half catches him in philandering positions? Yeah, and he's like, It Wasn't Me. He's on the bathroom floor. We had you on camera. It Wasn't Me.

It Wasn't Me. And then he's like, I've caught you in the garden shed. It Wasn't Me. And he just keeps it, but I've seen it. You're with my own eyes. You're lying to me. You're gaslighting me here, Shaggy. Yeah, well, so they had a very similar concept to do with secretly eating the chips, the Cheetos.

And they had Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis as well in the ad. And they were playing the couple because, of course, they're together. And, yeah, it was actually really good. They had Shaggy in the ad as well. Did you steal my Cheetos again, yeah, it was actually really good. They had shag in the end as well. Did you see what she does again? Just tell him it wasn't you. But I caught you at the counter. Wasn't me.

Saw you snacking on the sofa. Wasn't me. You even had him in the shower. It wasn't me. I even caught you on camera. You're the one who got the access to your snacks. Don't talk surprise, don't just speak behind your back. It wasn't me. Does Shaggy still do music or just do parodies of his own song now? They said they were quite nervous,

the Kiwi couple that came up with the concept because obviously they had to pitch it to Shaggy, you know, and he had to be a... The whole thing lived or died. Rested on Shaggy. He wanted to do the parody song because he was like, not for me. He said it wasn't for me. It wasn't for me.

But he has to move on to someone else. And Tom Brady, everyone's talking about Tom Brady. Now, he's the quarterback who's won his seventh championship in the Super Bowl yesterday. Married to supermodel Giselle Bunchen. That's right. So they were talking about him. He's 43 years old, how does he keep playing and how is he so fit?

It comes down to sleeping. A lot of it comes down, he loves sleeping. So before his first Super Bowl in 2002, he took a nap in the locker room, woke it up 12 minutes before they were about to start. But each night he goes to bed at 8.30, gets up at 5.30 and everything has to be perfect. From sleeping on a mattress that's got a layer of diamond memory foam

to setting the bedroom thermostat to a perfect temperature. And then he's got bioceramic-infused sleepwear. It costs about $200 for his pyjamas, which you can buy. I just love my bioceramic-infused sleepwear. $200 pyjamas? Yeah, but I mean, I guess... I mean, he's a highly tuned athlete. Yeah, I know. He needs $200 pyjamas. Yeah, but I mean, I guess... I mean, he's a highly tuned athlete. Yeah, I know.

He needs $200 pyjamas. Yeah, and that's one of the big reasons he reckons he's still playing and, you know, that 43-years-old wants to play until he's 45 at least. Yeah, well, it's just a very regimented sleep program. He's won more Super Bowl titles than any team. Him as an individual,

because he's played for two teams, he's won more Super Bowl titles than any of the teams. So he's the quarterback. Yeah. And we were discussing the other day on the show, it's a good position. You know, it's not as tackly as the other positions.

No, you just basically throw the ball a long way. And hope you don't get tackled. Yeah, and other people on your team try and stop you from getting tackled. Dream position. Yeah, I know. And 25,000 cardboard cutouts at the Super Bowl. Yeah, because of course it was coronaviruses going on all over the world. So they put cardboard cutouts to sort of fill out the numbers

because they had people in sort of bubbles. Not quite the biggest crowd they've ever had, obviously, but, yeah, 25,000 cardboard cutouts. I tell you what, there have been a lot of losers through this pandemic. A lot of industries have lost, but I tell you who's come out smelling of roses, the cardboard cutout industry. Can you imagine that order?

You want how many? 25,000. I told you we should have got into this game, honey. I told you back in the 90s this was it. Well, that was really interesting. And so who was in the crowd? Did they have special people in the crowd? They did have, I think,

about 7,000 vaccinated healthcare workers were some of the people, and then other people that were lucky enough to be there in certain bubbles throughout the crowd. All everyone wearing masks as well in the crowd. Paid to talk words and stuff into a microphone. It's New Zealand's breakfast. Jono and Ben on the hits.

Now, the Art Deco Festival in Napier is happening very shortly, 17th to the 21st of February. Tickets on sale right now. Looks like a lot of fun. Never actually gone along to Napier for it, and Tickets on sale right now. Looks like a lot of fun. Never actually gone along to Napier for it. And this year, we're going down.

We're going to be experiencing it for the first time. Tell you what, Napier, strap down your grapevines. Jono and Ben are coming to town. We're not that dangerous, actually. I don't know why you'd strap down

your grapevines. Certainly, that's not necessary. No. We're very polite. Quite unassuming, actually. We'll just keep our heads down and try not to make a fuss. People are more worried about birds eating the grapes and stuff like that than us coming down and doing stuff.

So we're going to be experiencing it at the Art Deco Festival. Hundreds of people will come from all over New Zealand to take part in the activity. Hundreds? Thousands? Thousands. And we want to get you there. So basically if you and a friend or a partner, colleague, it's not up to us who you choose.

Two people. Yeah. Two people. You can win a trip to the Hawke's Bay next weekend for Art Deco. Yeah, flights for two, accommodation to attend the festival from the 17th to 21st of February. It's on sale right now. Now, we got sent a disturbing email yesterday, Ben,

saying that Boss Todd hasn't organised flights for us to attend the Art Deco. No. So I don't know where that leaves us. Producer Humphrey's come in to discuss this matter. He's like, we'll talk about this on air, on the radio. Feels like we should be in a meeting room. When you said you're going to experience Art Deco Festival,

you two are literally going to, well, you're going to be experiencing it for about a week because you guys are going to be driving down to Napier in a Art Deco car. Oh, a vintage car. A car. Like a vintage 2005 Corolla from 1934. Wow.

Really? So, yep, you're going to be setting off from Auckland. I don't know top speed, but I can't imagine it's reaching the heights of 100. Well, at least while we're on the road, the camper vans can breathe a sigh of relief that there'll be something more painfully slow holding up traffic. Is this thing road worthy? Can we actually drive this thing? Hey, look, it's breathe a sigh of relief that there'll be something more painfully slow holding up traffic.

Is this thing road worthy? Can we actually drive this thing? Hey look, it's got a warrant of fitness. Has it got a roof? No roof? Oh. No roof. How many hours is this going to take us?

I think it's days. Like I say, book out a couple of days in the diary. It's going to be fun. We already had to go to the art. It's going to be an experience. So, hang on, I'm loving going to the art deco for two days but then we've got to add another two days previous, just travel time. Yeah, there will be a bit of travel time.

And then two days at the back end to travel back as well. Do we have to take it back as well? Oh, this is turning, this is too hard. This is too hard to ask. Anyway, if you'd like to go. You get flights in accommodation. You don't have to travel down with us. You've just got to listen for the cue to call,

which apparently, according to producer Humphrey, has the horn from the car that we're driving down. Oh, yeah. Should we do one of those right now, actually? Yeah, let's go. Get in the draw for a trip to the 2021 Art Deco Festival Napier. Flights, accommodation and festival entry for two people. 0800 THE HITS.

Two of my favourite things, art and decos. And another one of my favourite things is a novelty radio road trip. And we're embarking on one, taking a car from 1934 on what would be a six hour journey in a 2020 car. Probably turning into a two day

journey from Auckland to the Hawke's Bay. But yeah, there's probably going to be seven other radio shows on the road doing novelty road trips. We'll pass them. We'll honk on the way down. Yeah, true. We've seen them before. We'll see them again.

And we love them. Angela, not as much as we love you though. That was a weird start. Yeah, no, you've lost Angela. I've rattled Ange. I've rattled Ange. Come on in, Ange. No, I made it weird.

I made it weird. All we had to do was put her in the drawer and say, well done, you're in the drawer to go to the Hawke's Bay weekend after next. And I started by saying, I love you. I know. And I've ruined it. Hang on, what is this? I've ruined it.

Yeah, no, you don't have to go, just to be clear that she doesn't have to go with one of us. She just goes with someone she wants to take if she wins the prize. My bad, my bad. Okay, so if you want- I apologise to the team of five million. Yeah, you should.

You'll listen out for the classic car noise, the horn, and the activator and call 0800 THE HITS and you could be coming down and experiencing the Art Deco Festival in Napier, 17th to 21st of February. We'll be there if our car can make it all the way down. They're proud of New Zealand.

Go New Zealand! If only New Zealand was proud of them. New Zealand's breakfast on the hits. We were just talking about e-cars. We had our debut in one yesterday, and I was highly stressed over the recharging of the vehicle. And a few people, you know, because we're out and about more places, there was like a lot of, there was Speedway going on down that way,

and a lot of people going, oh, the Rockies, you're on the Rock. What happened to you, man? You used to be on the Rock to you. And then they saw you in a knee car and they're like, oh, God. I'd already lost a lot of cred. Now, any last percentage of credibility went out the window.

But it's quite disturbing driving one because they're so silent. Oh, no. And they're like a stalker. Yeah. Just there. Is it on? Is it on?

They just appear. First time driving one, very, very quiet when you're just saying Just there. I was like, is it on? Is it on? They just appear. First time driving one, very, very quiet, when you're just saying, oh, how long does it take to charge? And I think that's why I was getting so stressed. I didn't know how long you'd have to sit there with the thing plugged in. It seems like it depends on the speed, the kilowatts of the charging station. Sometimes it's only like 40 minutes to fully charge if you've got like a fast speed electricity,

but sometimes other cars can take a lot longer depending on how much power you're putting into it. Now, here's something interesting I heard about them from the fire service who are very worried about the influx of electric vehicles is if one catches fire, how do they put them out? They have to just let them burn to the ground because with the water from the hose and electricity, mm, mm, mm. Ugh. So you're going to have to have let them burn to the ground because with the water from the hose and electricity, mm, mm, mm.

Ah. So you're going to have to have some sort of, I don't know. Fire extinguishers? Why am I trying to come up with a solution? I've got no solutions. Yeah, well, hopefully a fire extinguisher. I don't know, yeah. But I don't need it.

Yeah, hey, listen, I don't know. It's not my business and I don't know why I'm even. You feel like you're very lucky. I don't know why I'm delving into it, representing the New Zealand Fire Service and how they're dealing with electric vehicles. But on the roads, you know, sometimes when motorists, other motorists do things and they're perfectly fine and legal, but you get unreasonably upset by them. Like when you're driving down the road and either you're

at an intersection and someone's turning right, waiting for oncoming traffic, or they're turning into a driveway and you have to wait behind them and you're like, oh! As if, and then when you think about it, you're like, well, they're just turning into their driveway.

Like, what do you want them to do? Move house? Just so you can keep driving. Oh, would you just, yeah. The other one is too, I find when you're at a giveaway and you're turning right and someone sneaks up on the inside of you on the left

and they're just taking a cheeky left around the corner and they end up blocking your view and you're like, oh, really, mate? But they're allowed to do that though. It's perfectly legal. You always feel guilty when you are that person to someone else. But you always feel guilty when you are that person to someone else.

But you always, because you're so close, you lock eyes and they have the look of guilt in their eyes. They know what they've done. Here I am, man. And you're like,

hey, this is what we're going to do, are we? But then if you're not, if you're sitting behind that person, then people are like, oh, you're turning left, pull up.

People get frustrated behind you, so you've got to do it. You've got to make that move. What I like is just being wound up on the roads. It's one of my favourite hobbies. Get out there in the car, honk that horn. He won't honk a horn.

No, I don't like honking a horn. You might as well remove the horn from your car. You're so passive. It's an aggressive move. You lean over and honk the horn. I honk for him. I honk for him because he won't do it. You can't do that.

It's the only way you get results. Horns get results. But then everyone thinks it's you too. So you're like, you're in a car park or whatever, you're like,

oh, this guy's taking too long. You lean over and toot. And then they look back at me and I'm like pointing, this guy, this guy, he tooted the horn. But then we sat through

four light phases just because you wouldn't honk because someone was in the... He got there eventually. He got there eventually. Yes, they will. Calm down. All right. We then we sat through four light phases just because you wouldn't honk because someone was... He got there eventually. He got there eventually. Yes, they will. Calm down, all right? We talked that through in therapy.

I know. You just want that little polite... You do. You do need... I agree you need different variations of the horn, don't you, Juju? Yeah, you do. A nice one and then an aggressive one.

You want a goodbye or a hello? Hang, hang. Or a hey, mate, you might want to move on? Doot, doot. Just a little... You might not have noticed the lights change. Hey, buddy, why are you turning right into your driveway and I'm stuck behind you?

Ha! Ben and Jono call this show Jono and Ben. Breakfast on the Hits. The Hits. Buy. No, what's up? Buy. Docco.nz.

All right, she's fresh from swimming in the cesspit of celebrity salacious scandal. Here's Juliet. So Chris Hemsworth has moved, or he lives in Byron Bay and has lived there for a wee while. But the residents of Byron Bay, and if you've never been before, it's very much a relaxed, surfy beach town. People walk around in bare feet.

There's all these, like, sort of hippie stores. They don't like... Dream catchers, incense. All of that. And so they do not like the Chris Hemsworth effect. at hippie stores. Dream catchers, incense. All of that. And so they do not like the Chris Hemsworth effect. Now, here is the effect. He's too hot, and the temperature there is already in the high 30s,

and they can't handle the heat. Exactly. It's getting too dangerous. No, but he's drawing more people to Byron Bay. Like Zac Efron's gone to Byron Bay, and people are kind of... Nicole Kidman, I think, lives there and Keith Urban as well. And so it's kind of turning into an Australian Hollywood and the locals aren't very happy about it. And they're like, can you please move?

But I would love it if I was in Byron Bay. If I was a little Byron Bay local, I'd be like, bring the celebs to me. Zac, come to me. Chris, come to me. I'll marry you both. Happy families. To be fair to Hemsworth, I don't think those other people are moving there because Hemsworth is there. Yeah, they're like, oh, Chris is going to do it, you know?

They're probably like, it's a lovely location. I remember when we moved to Waiheke Island with all those news articles about Mark Ellis' driveway all those years ago. I remember that. No? Oh, my God, it was a day-by-day update. I think the Herald was running exclusive stories.

So Mark Ellis, you know Mark Ellis? Yes. He wanted to put a driveway in on his batch on Waiheke Island. But the neighbour didn't. The neighbour didn't want the driveway. It was day-by-day coverage of the driveway. It went on for six months. And then I heard it's just a D-Day for the driveway scandal.

And then they went to court. How many years ago was this? I don't know but I remember like I was like stop banging on about this driveway. Either put the driveway in or don't put the driveway in but stop putting it in the paper. It was the greatest news event that's ever happened in New Zealand. Oh wow. I hope he got to put that driveway in. How else

was he going to get to his house from the road? Helicopter I guess. And speaking of Chris Hemsworth his body double over while they're filming Thor, he's eating seven meals a day to keep up with Chris's body size and he's doing

all of the same sort of exercises and fitness and all of that routine just to keep up with Chris. So he's got so big now, Chris Hemsworth. This is his regular body double.

He's been in heaps of movies with him over the years. He needs to look the same. So now he has to eat, I was saying, the equivalent of 35 meals a day. That's how much protein and stuff he's having. Oh, wow. Just to keep up with the size of Chris Hemsworth. Because this is the biggest Chris has ever been for a role.

So obviously this is the biggest. This body double has to be for filming as well. No wonder they don't like him in Byron Bay. He's eating all their food. He's eating them out of house and home. People are going to start eating park benches and bus stops soon. Stop eating. The stunt double for Chris Hemsworth

doesn't get life insurance as well. He can't be insured because of the stunts that they do. They won't insure him for accidents or life insurance. They're like, you do it, mate. That's on your own risk. He does look much like, oh, you do it, mate. That's on your own risk. He does look much like Chris Hemsworth when you see him. I'm just looking at a photo of them now,

but they are wearing the same clothes, which helps. Yeah, yeah. But who would be your stunt double? Do you know, here's a fun fact. Ben actually stunt doubles for the Pack and Save Stick Man for all his stunt work, don't you?

I do, yeah. You're on the same diet? Yeah, we're on the Pack and Save Stick Man diet, yeah. They won't insure you either. No, they won't. Mainly because you can't afford the insurance. And Prince Harry has been spotted filming in LA with James Corden, supposedly a carpool karaoke, but with a double-decker bus,

like a classic red London double-decker. And I feel like this is quite a big deal, because Prince Harry has really, really gone into the old mainstream celeb stuff now that he's doing carpool karaoke with James Corden. Also, he doesn't have any songs. He doesn't sing, yeah. He's not a singer.

They might sing Rule Britannia or something, God Save the Queen. Yeah, true. They probably will, actually. You're right. But when that comes out, oh my goodness, I'm going to be watching that 5,000 times over. I'm so excited.

That's too many times, Judy. I know, but I love it. 5,000 times. The work Wi-Fi won't handle 5,000 views of that. Oh, that's lovely, though. Good old Prince Harry, eh? Getting out there and giving it a go. Yeah.

He can do that stuff now. He wouldn't have been able to do that when he was in the Royal. No, no. Under the Royal threshold. The Queen's probably not very happy about it, but what can she do? He's officially technically not a royal anymore I guess some would say

but yeah. She can change the channel. That's all she can do when it comes off. She's like, oh no, she wouldn't know how to change the channel.

No, no. She can mute it. That's far. You can head to the hits for more. From stealing Mike Hosking's car to stealing the hearts of New Zealand.

Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the hits. Actual hearts being not bestowed. He just performed at the Super Bowl in America yesterday. That's the weekend of blinding lights. It is the hits. You got Jono and Ben.

Hey, look, got a little bit bamboozled during the performance. We were watching it before, didn't we? A little bit lost at times. I think it was all part of the act. It was part of the act, yeah. It was just coming out going, what? Have I gone on the wrong gate? No, it was an awesome performance.

He sort of went backstage. It was all these blinding lights, obviously, from the song. And it looked awesome, the set up. Listen, I parked over there. Is that OK? Should I check with anyone? And well done, Weekend. Weekend or The Weekend?

How do I? The Weekend. The Weekend, sorry. Retro Mrs. Spiceful name, please. Well done, the Mr. The Weekend. It's been a fun show today. Really, really fun show. And what was the highlight, I'd say it was giving away $5,000.

How cool was this? Emma rang up and Jono, it got down, it got four out of five and we're matching it up with our new game, five words for 5K. And then it got to the final word

and this happens. Final word we need to match up with, champagne. I've got two. Can I talk my two out or do I just give an answer? Do you know? No.

Let him talk it out. Let's get it off his chest. Glass or I'm going bottle. I don got two. Can I talk my two out or do I just give an answer? Do you know? No. Let him talk it out. Let's get it off his chest. Glass or I'm going bottle. I don't know. Okay, but can we put him on hold? Don't want any influence because this is for five grand right now. Jono Pryor, we need a decision.

I'll go. We need a decision. I'll lock in champagne bottle. You got $5,000. No. Did we? You got five grand. Did we? You got five grand Did we?

You did it You did it You did it Emma Emma Koch up from Auckland Well, she's going to use that money to start a business That's so awesome Another chance for you to win $5,000 tomorrow

$7.45 is when you need to tune in You have yourself a great Tuesday It's a short week, New Zealand Enjoy that Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from sex on The Hits and via the iHeartRadio app. Jono and Ben on The Hits Breakfast.

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