Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Fed Exing a cat?!

Episode Date: May 2, 2024

Welcome to the untamed realm of the world's Wild Wild Web!  On this edition a family accidentally sends a family member home in a return package.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today on the Wild Wild Web, a family has sent something interesting back in their Amazon return package. Welcome to the untamed realm of the world's wide web. A swirling vortex of weirdness, bullying and self-obsessed social media posts. In this digital jungle, Jono and Vienna are your fearless guides. Leading you through the wildest parts of the Wild Wild Web. This is the Wild Wild Web. It is indeed. Welcome along. Feeling a little out of sorts today on the episode of the Wild Wild Web, just broadcasting from another room. Ben sitting in a different location, Megan

in a different location as well. It really does throw you. Not that it matters to anyone listening. You sound different. You do sound a bit different, do I? That microphone sounds a bit different. Is it that microphone or is it just him? It's me. Maybe a different room, a different voice.

More nasally. You do sound really nasally. I sound nasally? You do sound really nasally. Yeah. Like on a scale of nasally radio announcers. Oh, name and shame and then who do you want to say? I can think of a couple.

Where am I sitting? You're talking about us. Yeah, we are quite nasally. If you'd like me to switch mics if it's too much nasal. No, I don't know. What do you think, Megan? Test this one. Oh, should I turn?

It's only got a short chord. You might have to run around there. Yeah, I'll come around. This is super fun for everyone listening. We could definitely start again, but we're not going to. No, this is what the Wild WildBall Wib's all about. How's the hell are you? Oh, you're less nasally.

So there's some sort of nasal function on the other one. Is there? That's unusual. You'd think that would be the best microphone of them all. And then I go back over here. Because that's the one. Am I full nasal when I talk over this? Yeah.

Wow. A little bit nasally, yeah, but not. I mean, I think we can deal with it. Yeah, we can deal with it. Okay, well, then we'll see. As you say, our radio show has bit nasally, yeah, but not. I mean, I think we can deal with it. Yeah, we can deal with it. Yeah. Okay, we'll deal with it. As you say, our radio show has been nasally for years. It is, yeah.

That's the thing. I don't feel like we would have made it in the radio industry back in the 60s and 70s, you know, when it was all, you know, we wouldn't have cut it. No. We wouldn't have cut it. Yeah. Thankfully. Proper English and things like that, you know, as well, too.

There was all BBC English. Do you think you would have wanted to get into broadcasting if you were born in the 1930s or something like that? I don't think I would have been allowed. Yeah. You know, they're female and all. Yeah, true. A few things I couldn't do. Yeah.

Isn't that crazy? Yeah. It wasn't that long ago when you think about it. No. It's crazy. Yeah. You look back and you're like, more God. People that you know were doing that sort of when you think about it. No. It's great. You look back and you're like, more God, more people that you know were doing that sort of thing then. Thank you to all those people who made it possible for me to be here today.

You don't think about that, do you? No. Who are we shouting out to? People fought a big game. Kate Sheppard. Kate Sheppard. She did some stuff, didn't she? Yeah, she did some things.

She, uh, two, two, two, two. Just checking the mic here. It's really throwing you, isn't it? It is. No, you guys are throwing me. You sound nasally and now it's all we'll do. Sorry. Okay, so it's a wild, wild web. What we like to do is we like to look at a news story that's captured our attention.

One of the wildest stories from the internet today. Megan, you brought this one to the table. Yeah, I'm a big fan of online shopping. So a family bought an Amazon package. It doesn't matter what was in it because they sent it back, but they sent back more than they intended. This is the news story. A Lehigh family is happy to be reunited with their missing cat.

The cat was found 600 miles away in California, and the family says it's a miracle delivered by an Amazon employee. Garner Mejia has this unusual story. Do we want to hear from Garner? She's pretty hidden in there right now. Come on, kitty. Have we heard enough? Do we want to hear from Garner Mejia has this unusual story. Do we want to hear from Garner? Come on, kitten. Have we heard enough? That's an incredible story. So the cat got sent back in the package.

What? How? I get how it obviously jumped into the package, but you're boxing it up. How did they not know? It was in a box. Unless it kind of tucked itself under the, you know how they sometimes have packaging to support. Yeah, while you're printing the label or something. So the cat's fine.

The cat's fine. The cat got sent back. 600 miles is how many k's? That's a long way. The other thing I'm thinking, maybe they did it for a news story. You know, put the cat in there. We'll get some headlines, get some views. That's 965 k's.

How long is New Zealand? It's like the length of the country. New Zealand I think is 1,000 miles because my dream was always to bring Vanessa Carlton over and we go 1,000 miles from one end of New Zealand to the other. We walk 1,000 miles. She always claims she'd walk 1,000 miles. So it's 1.6 Ks, yeah. What did the Proclaimers walk?

What were they? 500. Oh, yeah, so they were doing 500 miles. So they do New Zealand, don't they? Yeah, they could easily do New Zealand. Three times they could do New Zealand. I saw a great Instagram meme the other day saying one of the worst financial decisions I made

was sponsoring the Proclaimers on their walk. I didn't think they were going to walk that far. And then I did it twice, you know. So yeah, I was like, that was very clever. For their charity walk. Yeah, you know, one of those kids that turned up, they're like, sponsor me on my walk. A dollar a kilometre.

There's two of you. You're like, all right, what do you have? They won't get to 500 miles. What's the furthest you think you've walked? I did an 11K walk once, and I'm ashamed to say I was, like, dead at the end of it. It was just a walk. Yeah. But, man, it was so long.

I love a walk. I do like a walk. How long would you walk, like, for a casual walk? Oh, like, happy to walk. It drives my family nuts because I'm always like, well, just walk it. And they're like, oh, if we get an Uber or a taxi or we get a thing, I'm like, just walk it. How far nuts because I'm always like let's just walk it and they're like oh if we get an Uber or a taxi or we get a thing

I'm like let's walk it how far have you pushed your family on that oh they moan every time we go to a sports game or a concert or something like that

I'm like hey we'll walk we can walk that you know and they're like oh you know I guess you have been standing and doing stuff as well

yeah I'll walk easily half an hour 45 minutes I'm happy to do that but they moan they love a moan I thought half an hour would be my max. Yeah.

Really? Yeah. Any more than that, it's like, oh, God. Because we don't live far from Eden Park, you know, and if we go to, like, my wife and I will go to a concert, whatever, she's always like, oh, get an Uber. And I'm like, it's just the pain of getting the Uber, and then you get in the Uber, and the poor Uber driver's

only going to get, like, five bucks. I feel guilty about that. How long is the walk then? It's 30 minutes, 40 minutes. I don't trust you with that. It is a long is the walk then? it's 30 minutes 40 minutes I don't trust you with that I should probably say it's longer but I'm like

yeah we do it is that awkward distance of do you walk or do you get an Uber between the year I understand that it's not far and I feel bad

for all the people that have been waiting outside you know trying to get money and we're like oh it's a $7 Uber up the road I once walked back

from a Warriors game we were walking together and you're like I'm going to hop on the Uber I'm going to hop on the Uber. I'm like, I'm going to keep walking. And I thought it was a lot longer than I came on the radio the following Monday. I was like, oh, yeah, I walked bloody 20 kilometres home.

And then you guys check Google Maps. It was only three or four kilometres. But, yeah, it's fun walking at night. Don't you find that? Yeah, I mean, it's going to be a little bit scary to get to be where you're going. But, yes, yeah, it's something about at night. Don't you find that? Yeah, I mean, it's going to be a little bit scary against where you're going. But yes, there's something about night time. It's quite peaceful.

Yeah. You don't want it to be too peaceful. We're just going to take a quick break from the Wild Wild Web. Back after this. Sometimes I get up and I used to go running at like three o'clock in the morning and you see some stuff at that time of night.

It's very peaceful. Once I had a bottle thrown at me. Yeah, very peaceful. Yeah, it does sound peaceful. Apart from the bottling. See, a woman would never dream of doing that. I must admit, there's a little part of me going, this is very scary.

Yeah. But you just keep going. I would never dream of getting up at 3am and going for a run by yourself. You just don't do it. Yeah. No way. Is that what, so you wouldn't, would you walk, would you walk in dark?

Not really. So after six o'clock winter, you wouldn't walk on your own? Nah. Wow. Not really. Fair enough. It can be a bit scary anywhere though. Yeah, yeah.

Do you know what I hate doing in the dark is going to get petrol in the dark. Really? Especially because sometimes I leave it to, you know, you think you're going to get further than you are and at three o'clock in the morning, whenever when I'm trying to get petrol in the dark. Why? Especially because sometimes I leave it to, you know, you think you're going to get further than you are, and at 3 o'clock in the morning, whenever I'm trying to get to work and I've got the light on. You've got to get petrol. You've got to go to the petrol station.

And because they're all lit up and everything around you is dark, and you're just, like, in the petrol station by yourself, you feel like everyone can see you. That feels like a horror movie to me. Yeah. I mean, imagine how scary it is for the predators too. I mean, they're out there pouncing around in pitch black darkness. Do you think the predators ever get afraid?

I was about to say that. Because they're having to hide in bushes and they're walking through. And someone sneaks up on them. They're like, oh my God, you scared me. Hiding is, yeah, I'm not saying for predator purposes, but I'm terrible at hiding. I get a little, Indy, you worry about. Hiding is, yeah, I'm not saying for pretence or purposes, but I'm terrible at hiding. I get a little, Indy, you worry about your breathing loud or your noise. I play with the kids and stuff.

Indy likes to play a game. We've got blinds in the lounge and you have to hide behind one of the blinds and then you have to guess which one. And you can't see the person behind. You just go, number four. You're like, no, you're number three, you know. But I'm terrible. You guys play some wholesome games.

I'm breathing loudly. I get a little nervous and excited at the same time. What is the deal when you're trying to hide and suddenly your breathing becomes like... I don't know. Maybe it's just in your head

but I feel like you breathe a lot louder. Yeah, you'd make a shocking predator. No. You're a breathing predator. And I always answer when someone goes,

are you ready? And you're like, yep. And they're like, well, clearly I know where you are. And then after you jump then you'd be like, I'm so sorry.

Did I frighten you? I'm sorry. Have you started the hide and seek phase with your children? Oh, I feel like we're just getting into it. They like to hide behind the curtains too. Young kids are truly shocking at hide and seek. You can get them every time. You'll be like, where are you?

I'm in the cupboard or I'm under the stairs. They'll give it up every time. Just a little tip for you. You can win hide and seek 100% of the time. Well, they're still in that phase where they just hide their head, and they're like, you can't see me. Well, nah, there's no giveaways here. What age is the thing?

That's what my wife and I discuss. When you can really go hard in a game. At what age are the kids? You can win. You can play. Sometimes you play something, and you're like, I could easily win this, but I'm not going to. Are you not there yet with your 12 and 14-year-olds?

Sometimes I kind of tap out and think it's for fun, but my wife, she's competitive. So sometimes she's like, no, I'm going to win Cluedo. Yeah, I feel like they're old enough to really thrash them. They've learned about winning and losing too. But also the other thing, what age do you stop playing dumb? Like when as a parent you're like, I can't see you. What's the threshold for that, you think?

I don't know. I feel like I'm already there. I'm like, I can see you. Bansy, I can't see you. What's the threshold for that, you think? I don't know. I feel like I'm already there. I'm like, I can see you. Bansy, I can see your legs. She's like, oh. Welcome to the real world, buddy. That's what happens in the real world. Yeah, that's great.

Hey, well, listen, this has been the Wild Wild Web. Cats going long distance. I was about to wrap up, but then I was going to go back to your original news clip. There was a story of a cat who, didn't they, they took it to its batch in New Zealand. Yeah. That's right.

And then somehow miraculously through internal GPS, the cat made its way back to their house. Yeah, that's true. Hundreds of kilometres away. We had a cat that didn't do it hundreds of kilometres, but it was about three or four, I think it was three to five k's we used to live from. We moved house and the cat would just walk back to the old house

and the people would ring up and then eventually the cat tried it one more time and we never heard from the cat again. Oh, did the cat never come back? No, but it would walk back two or three times and then people would go, oh, we've got your cat again. Hopefully it moved to another neighborhood. Yeah, I'm hoping so too. Well, that's what my parents told me.

Because you're supposed to, is it true you put butter on their paws? Yeah, that's what they're meant to do and you're trying to make them feel, yeah, but obviously they're probably mates back at the other house. What do you put butter on their paws for? So they sit there and lick them and make them feel at home or distract them long enough that they, I don't know, the theory behind it. I don't know, but you do it anyway because you're like well what's what's there to lose apart from a little bit of butter i mean the cats are probably lactose intolerant do you put the cat's paw into the tub of butter

or are you good i think we got the but i think it's because yeah otherwise you don't know where the cat's paws are being are you using like a knife i think i put a finger i i put butter on a plate put my fingers in it and then rubbed it on the paws. I think that's what we did. Fingering the butter. Oh, yeah, but you get out of the butter container. You're not doing it in the butter container. Our dog, when I take him for a walk, granted, we go on the same route,

but I reckon you could let him go, and he could walk that route on his own. Oh, no, yeah. Yeah, right. Take him off the lead, and he'd just – because they're very clever. What if he saw like a cat along the way yeah that's why he's

eye-routed he's right into his arse sniffing at the moment very distracted so yeah maybe me tugging on the lead at times

when he does get distracted helps him get back on course yeah you think they're quite they are easily distracted they are smart but they are

easily distracted but they also think they know where you're going to sometimes I find with my dog he's like we're going there

you're like no we're not because he's been to well my microphone just fell over been to the park before this studio

really is falling apart at least you don't sound nasally the microphone just gave up on life it's like shit story Ben I'm tapping out

wouldn't it be nice if the microphone just went... Mike's like, I don't want to be associated with this story. Anyway. You know, I could be a microphone for, I don't know, name a pop star, you know, like Taylor Swift. I could be Taylor Swift's microphone, but anyway, I've got Ben from...

Jono and Ben talking into the microphone. All the aspirations that you have. Even in broadcasting in New Zealand, you've got old Ben. That microphone doesn't get used ever, but I would still rather that than your story.

This microphone's locked away in a cupboard and the first bit of mic work it gets is you. I have to hold it like one of those trendy podcasts that

white people do. Holding my microphone right now. Mike's like, put me on coach, and this is the first time he's been on

how do you think he's feeling not great not great yeah well listen this has been the Wild Wild Web we've all found a little out of sorts

including the microphones today yeah it's been fun thank you so much for listening have a great weekend