Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: 26 Photos of a Strangers Body Part!

Episode Date: April 22, 2022

Ben's daughter comes across a redundant piece of technology, Rihanna is having a bad week and we love to brag when we get a bargain!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits with the Jono and Ben podcast. Kia ora, it's the 22nd of April, the podcast. If you don't mind me, I'm just going to do the gorgeous sound of removing my Invisalign, Ben. You're always like this, aren't you? Do you have Invisalign? Have you not noticed? No. You feel like when you have it, because I had them there, they're kind of like mouthguards.

Oh, that's turning me on that right now. So they're kind of like mouthguards you put in your teeth instead of braces, and you kind of put a new one in every couple of weeks. So I had them for a while, and you feel like everyone notices them. Do you become quite self-conscious with them? Have you had them? No, I had braces when I was at high school. I had braces.

I've still got to retain a bar on the top of my top teeth. Just to hold everything in place. To hold everything in because my teeth were quite crooked on the top and had to have them taken out and stuff. But yeah, so you don't have a list for anything when you talk. You did at the start. You were really rare. It was snaky, Jono.

It's snaky pride. And on the top, sorry, I've got so many questions. Both, yeah, no, top and bottom. Right. Yeah, no, I didn't realise how expensive it was because it goes over a year and a half long period. Yeah, yeah. Always just sucking money out of your bank account.

Yeah, because back in the day, it was like five grand per kid. Yeah, yeah. Always just to put sucking money out of your bank account. Yeah. Because back in the day, it was like five grand per kid for braces, and there was three of us. We all got them. My sister knocked her teeth out, had to get them a second time. So that's like, you know. Oh, yeah. I mean, dental stuff is orthodontics and anything like that.

It's so expensive. I love the checkup, and they're like, it all looks fine, but we'll just give it an X-ray, just have a look. You're like, oh, no, just don't. Do we need to do the X-ray? Don't give it an X-ray. If it looks fine with your eyes. I trust you.

You've used nature's X-ray, your eyeballs. Yeah, I trust you. You know, you qualify for this. You did a lot of studying. As soon as you hear an X-ray or that machine, they call it revolves around your head going wah. And they leave. Everyone leaves.

You're like, why are you leaving me here? I was like, ah, awkwardly with my jaw open. I can't. Where are you going? I're like, why are you leaving me here? I'm like, I'll leave with my jaw open. Why are you going? Where are you going? I'm like, where are you going? I had one of those when I had my wisdom teeth out. I think it was like $300. And insurance was like, we're not covering that.

Yeah. Wasn't that awesome? And you go, what the hell is going on in those machines that everyone has to leave for a 2K radius? We're like, we'll leave you in there. You're like, why am I in here alone? Now, we unearthed something that Google Maps has been recently taking people on wrong turns.

Extending trips by 30, 40 minutes causing huge disruptions and arguments within, you know, normally happy couples. Producer Behump said him and his partner Caitlin has been a real pressure point in their relationship, Google Maps. Someone's texting. Long time, Mr. First Time Texter. I am glad, finally, someone has relationship, Google Maps. Someone's texted. Long time listener, first

time texter. I am glad finally someone has brought this Google Maps situation to the forefront. About five years ago, we were off to find some snow. Google Maps took me off the road we were travelling on about 45 minutes after going the way it said it redirected us to the road that we were already on initially. We ended up being an hour and a half late. We didn't talk to each other in the car for another 20 minutes after that so i constantly am telling the story amongst my friends and no one believes me that google maps will take you off it's a prank it's a prank from google maps it's saying guys i've been so good for so long yeah and you just take it for granted do you remember how you used to have to get from point a to point b this is what i'm playing google maps here yeah all right yeah i was like yeah i don't

think we talked about this i think on the show today yeah and uh so now it's teaching us a lesson and so i find there's also two with the options on my the one on my phone it's like do you do you want the fastest way there was you want these other ways that avoid motorways you know this is avoid motorway function as well i was like well why would I not want to go the fastest way there? No, can you please take me the slowest, most painful way? Maybe some people get frightened about going on the motorway. And motorway traffic can back up, right? Maybe that's the setting.

Some people might have accidentally sent slow, painful. Yeah. It doesn't on my one from time to time. I'm like, well, of course I want to go 22 minutes as opposed to 48. You know? Yeah, but that's it. What do you think I had? Well, you guys have a great long weekend.

Ends that weekend. And enjoy the podcast. We'll catch you again from Tuesday. Tested safe for listing from home. Jono and Ben on the hits. How's everyone going? They're going all right. Good.

End of the week. Yeah, good, thanks. Technically, because we're actually critical workers, which I find so weird. It went from essential to critical. It did at some stage, didn't it? Yeah. At our place, one of our housemates has the Crohn,

and so I'm testing negative. And if you're a critical worker, you can come to work if you're testing negative. So don't worry. I mean, you guys have all had the Crohn anyway. You look critical. You look critical. I like saying I'm critical. You feel far more important testing negative. So don't worry. I mean, you guys have all had the coronavirus. You look critical. You look critical. I like saying I'm critical.

You feel far more important than everyone else, don't you? Nah, it's true. We're not critical. Critical, mate. But then, you know, we've been sort of walking around with some sort of arrogance of like, hey, we've had COVID. We're a little bit careful.

Well, yeah, there's an Auckland team this morning that's tested positive twice in two months. Oh, dear God. Who made up the three-month rule? I know that's what I was thinking. I think it was like Barry from Accounts. Oh yeah, you're fine for three months and it just spread like wildfire.

So the poor teen says it twice in two months. And yeah, so everyone that says you're right, it's a three month thing. No one knows what they're talking about. No one does. It's like mask of good, mask of bad, mask of this, mask of that, you know. No one has known what we're talking about

for the last 24 months, Pete. I think the government, anyone, no one. No one's done it. Do you know I actually got a flu jab yesterday? And you know the most painful part of getting the flu jab up until recently was having to wait for 20 minutes in the waiting room afterwards, you know, just sit there and then you'd like, you'd try and sneak off at sort of the 12 to 15 minute mark

and you'd kind of like, you know, commando crawl past the reception desk. But now, believe it or not, they're like, they jab you, and they're like, you're good to go. And I'm like, what? Oh, really? For decades, you've been making us sit for 20 minutes in a waiting room afterwards. They're like, no, no, you're good to go. I was like, when did this rule come into play?

Like, has it just been a prank from the medical industry? I would just keep waiting. Mildly inconvenience everyone's days to wait for 20 minutes. How long do we keep waiting? Yeah, I'm surprised you got one because I tried to get one

but they were like, it's only people, kids in over 65. So maybe they thought you were over 65. Maybe they're waiting because you might see your collapse. You've gone too soon.

You've gone too soon. They're like, you've got to wait a few more weeks. It's only for old and young. Yeah, and I was jabbing everyone in this place. Maybe I wasn't. I know a lot of people for the retirement. You're at like, you've got to wait a few more weeks. It's only for old and young. Yeah, and I'll have a jab in everyone in this place. Maybe I wasn't, well,

I know a lot of people for the retirement. You're at the retirement for a week. That's what I was thinking. I was like, mate, he was like,

I want to get this old guy. He hasn't got long to go. Might as well send him back out there too. 20 minutes, he could be dead by then. Try and get him back out there. Oh,

he's a vulnerable, vulnerable part of the community. Oh, there you go. So, well, this old man's been flu jabmed. Don't you worry about me. Three months, baby. Three months.

Yeah. Here's three minutes of us trying our best to avoid a defamation case. Here we go. Belle Crawford, what's happening in Spy? Rihanna isn't having a very good week. That's an understatement. Now, first, there were fake rumors that her partner her partner ASAP Rocky was cheating on her, she's pregnant, and that's not great.

And it's not true. And they were also on holiday in Barbados, where she's from. She would have been stoked to get home while she's not too pregnant to fly. And then they were arriving back at LAX, the airport, and her baby daddy, he gets arrested at the airport. How dramatic

would that be? Coming back from holiday in a hugely public place and he gets arrested. Arrested for cheating? No, not for cheating. How dare you two-time on a pregnant Rihanna. It was in connection to a shooting last year in LA. So he went to the jail and then he's paid the bail, which I've converted to NZD for you.

Thank you. Always got to do that. $810,000. Imagine just being like, oh, yeah, cool, here's that money. It'd be like $800 to us minions, wouldn't it? Still a lot of money. $880,000 to someone. Still a lot of money.

A ton of money. So he's been accused of, he shot someone, didn't he? Well, that's what they're saying. In connection at this stage, the allegations are. Yeah, well, he's in connection with a gun in his hand? I don't know. I don't know what the fuck they are. I'm reading all the Los Angeles Times that he was having an argument with someone. It escalated.

He fired a shot. The person had minor injuries. Went to hospital. Oh, really? And they've been tracking him, apparently. The FBI or the police for the last, this is in 2021, been tracking him for six months. They've used a battering ram to get into his home, get evidence. All go, mate.

Do they, now when you get your house raided by the FBI or the police, Ben, as you would know, do they, like when they ram your gates, do they fix those? Because you'd be like, guys, you could have just rung the doorbell and I would have... Well, yeah, true. Especially if you get off the thing later, you'd be like, oh, you did all

this? I see all the meth labs in West Auckland and stuff getting the front doors just bang. I'm like, who's fixing the door? Because you've just got a house with a door. There's no door there. Yeah, but the police, they can't just open it nicely because you don't know what you're going into. So you have to do it kind of quickly, I guess.

I mean, maybe there's a door repair guy who's also, he's on standby. He's like just ram the door, ram the door. Really? Got my screwdriver ready. Business is humming for the door repair industry. Yeah so that's super stressful for Rihanna. Oh it is. That's happened and then now she's pregnant. Is he going to go to jail?

Is she going to have a baby? That's a lot to deal with. It's a lot for her but wonderful for his hip hop credibility. Isn't it? It does wonders. Finally, rappers are getting a bit more gangster again. I know, I know. We had Drake crying about his feelings for the last five years. Look at us now, guys. We're back to the 90s.

Also, the Queen is 96 today. It is her 96th birthday. Her Jubilee is coming up, and she's taking a private break at Sandringham Estate, where she really likes to spend her time in the lead-up to the Jubilee. And Prince Harry's been visiting her, we know that. And he was talking about his kids, and in particular Archie. I mean, Archie spends more time interrupting our Zoom calls than anybody else. Does he have your personality?

But he also gets us off them as well, so that's also a nice thing. Is he kind of like you? He's got a little bit of your thing? You know, your cheeky thing, that thing you do? Yeah, I think so. Look, I always try and keep that. I think the cheekiness is something that keeps you alive. He's like, what's my thing? I thought it was a cool moment. What's my thing?

That's what he was thinking, like red hair, you're going to have a red hair joke? Now, he's getting roasted for doing that interview. That was obviously an American interview on Today. And it's in the UK for the Invictus Games. And he's getting a roasting in the media. I thought it was great. I loved it. Well, we've got more on that later on.

But yeah, what he said, there was one line he said about the Queen. We'll have that before 7 o'clock. That he's getting quite a roasting for. Yeah, and he was asked about William and Charles. He didn't even speak about them. He said, I'm here for the Invictus Games. I'm giving my all to this. Oh, burn.

Yeah, I'll have that before 7 o'clock this morning. Rated M for mildly amusing. Jono and Ben on the hits. Sophie. I'm great, thank you. How are you? Will we really find out how Sophie is? Well, she said she was great.

And then she asked you how you were, so it was your cliffhanger. Will we find out how John O is this morning? We'll find out next. Now, Sophie, welcome to Cliffhanger Calls. Thank you. The deal is you tell us the first part of a story. You stop at a certain point. Then we play the sound effect.

And then we decide if we want to hear the second part of your yarn. Okay. All right, go for it. Sounds good. Okay, so I met this lovely gentleman, and we were dating. We weren't officially anything. We were dating. So how long were you dating for?

Well, for about five or six years. Five or six years? So you weren't officially any, you weren't a boyfriend, girlfriend or anything like that? No, no, we were just dating. Five or six years? That's good. I mean, obviously the relationship was working, whatever the relationship was, but working fine for both of you. It was.

It was exactly what we both needed at the time. Right. I imagine for five of those years you were going, what is this? Like, where do I sit? Yeah. Did anyone ever have a conversation about that? Or it was just like, it's all working great. Let's not complicate things.

No, there was no conversation. After the first date, I was like, I need to ask him if we're going to make it official. But I thought that was too keen. So you waited five or six years. I don't want to come on too strong. Wait. Hold. Wait, hold. No, fair enough. Okay, so after five or six years, did you ever plug up the courage to ask him?

I did. I texted him and I said, hey, I've got something really important to ask you. Can I hear the end of it? Or if not, we'll just play with some more music and that'll be it. People like music. Yeah, well, yeah, I like music. But I also want to hear the end of Sophie's story. So that could be next on The Hits.

Jono and Ben. Back with Cliffhanger Calls. It is where we get someone, what they claim is a really good story, and they stop it at a point, and then we decide, and you decide as well, listening, on 4487 on the text,

if you want to hear the end of the story. And we stopped Sophie on a real cliffhanger, we yeah uh sophie just to uh just to recap uh the first part of your story what was it okay um i met a lovely gentleman we were dating for five years and i finally plucked up the courage to ask him to make it official and that's where we went so after five and five or six years years, things were going obviously great, but not great in the official sense. You weren't official after five or six years. Most people are probably married by five or six years.

I know. You're still questioning whether it was official. So we're looking at the text machine, Soph. A barrage of texts on 4487, all of which are saying you've got us by the short and curlies. We need to hear the rest of the story. So you've asked this guy to make it official. I did. And he said no.

Oh, he said no? He said no. I don't even remember his lame excuse, but basically he had barriers up that the last person he dated and was in a relationship with broke apart. You're like five or six years we've been... Did you keep just going in a high voice? Five or six years, though?

I would have. He hesitated, so immediately I was like, oh, no, he doesn't have I've mucked up here. So I just started crying, and I left. Did you start crying immediately, or you were like, I've just got to go and pick up something? No, no, immediately. I was heartbroken, actually heartbroken.

Oh, good thing. Don't worry, it's got a happy ending. Oh, okay. Yeah, well, I think it does. Anyway, so I said, look, I've got to go. So I left, and I texted my friend, and I said, I can't leave, blah, blah, blah, and told her what happened, and then she said, right, let's go out this weekend. So we did.

We went out that weekend, and I had a few too many gins. And the worst possible drink you could be having in that moment as well. Probably gin, yeah. Yeah, it wasn't probably not my wisest move, but it led me to another nice gentleman. I sound like a great person. You do sound like a great person.

You do, you sound awesome. You're on a good show, because anything you've done can't be as bad as what Ben and I have done. Oh, that makes me feel a bit better No anyway So I met him And You know as you're upstairs And you're drunk

And you have fun And three weeks later I found out I was pregnant To this new lovely young man Yeah Could you Wow what a rollercoaster So how long had you known The new lovely young man Oh no just? Wow, what a rollercoaster. So how long had you known the new lovely young man?

Oh, no, just one night. Just one night. One night. And did you wait five or six years to tell him? I waited probably five or six weeks to tell him that I was pregnant. And then he waited five or six months to tell me he was already in a relationship. Oh, my gosh, Sophie. This just keeps getting worse. Or better.

You know, I now have a two-year-old son who's the absolute best thing in my life. And I don't regret a thing. Awesome. You know, I could look at it and be like, this is the worst thing in my life. But actually, it led to the best thing in my life. That's the thing. Sometimes when those things do happen, breakups and whatnot, you lead to, you know, like I feel the same about my parents breaking up. And I've got now, you know, half-sisters and stuff that are called, you lead to, you know, like I feel the same about my parents breaking up and I've got now

half sisters and stuff, well they're called full sisters, you know, and you wouldn't change that for the world, you know, even though you go through those moments. That is a beautiful ending, a wonderful two-year-old. Oh yeah, and he's absolutely lovely and I live with my sister and she is the best auntie in the world and the best sister

in the world and she's my mum so I can be his mum and it's all worked out in the end. And it was a wild ride. It was a wild ride just listening to it for the last four minutes. Without experiencing it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm so happy that everything's worked out for you.

All the best. Hey, you stay there, Sophie. We'll try and sort you out some hell pizza, okay, mate? Lovely, thank you. All right, good on you. Delivering beer and wine. I don't know about gin, but... I'll lay off the gin.

It might be there in less than five or six years, but we'll see. Thanks, Sophie. Thank you. Scrolling through your feed. He's here to news, and when he newses, he newses hard. News on three. One, two, three. News.

The Queen, 96. That's happening today in the UK. Buckingham Palace have released a new photo of the Queen. She's smiling there. Pretty much 96. She's holding two white horses. Two beautiful white horses. I'm just thinking if those horses took off, she would not be hard-holed.

But they don't. And obviously it's a lovely photo. Two beautiful white horses. I'm just thinking if those horses took off, she would not be able to hold them back. But they don't. And obviously it's a lovely photo. Yeah, I mean, they're two very powerful animals for a 96-year-old to be holding on to. No one else around, just her holding these two white horses. Oh, they are gorgeous horses, though, aren't they? Pretty horses, yeah. I've seen a lot of horses in my time,

but those are some of the most beautiful horses. And she looks beautiful as well because her hair matches the horses. Now, she's done a remarkable job. I mean, it's amazing. She's 96 years old, still the Queen. Prince Harry is over there in the UK. Now, he's doing a lot of interviews at the moment

promoting the Invictus Games, which he's very passionate about. And he went on a breakfast show and he said some stuff about the royal family and they're not happy about it. Have a listen. You know, she's on great form. She's always great form.

She's always got a great sense of humour with me and I'm just making sure that she's protected and got the right people around her. Well, you make her laugh. That's the protected thing. And got the right people around her. That has wound up the British media. Everyone is saying he's just rolled into town for these games, which he probably didn't want to do.

I'm sure he had a meeting with the Invictus people going, hey, can we move this to Italy or something? Not England. And he's giving his opinion on the Queen, and the media are like, you've deserted her. Don't you roll on in here on your double white horses and start throwing off your opinion on an American TV show as well.

Yeah, and he also said something about the Queen in relation to birthdays. I mean, she's had 96 of them now. I think I'll just say, man, do you get bored of birthdays? You do. You think she's bored of her 96? She won't be bored of the Jubilee, will she? No.

Okay. I don't think so. She's had a few Jubilees now, so everyone is slightly different. She's bored of birthdays, and I'm looking at this photo too. She looks like she's bored of taking photos as well. She's like, why am I holding on to two white horses? What idiot is making me do this? And maybe that's why Harry's worried about what team is surrounding her.

Yeah, who's protecting her? Who's making her hold on to these horses? Hold your horses, that's the saying. She's literally doing that. And controversial UK TV host Piers Morgan, he's found a new show. Now, he walked out. Remember that? He walked out over the Meghan and Harry. Good morning, Britain. Yeah. So now he's got a new show

and he interviews Donald Trump and there's a fiery promo with Trump walking out. Here's a wee bit of it. Okay, Piers, I'm ready. A former president in denial. I'll be completely straight with you. It's your face. I think I'm a very honest man. Much more honest than you, actually. Really? Yeah. It was a free and fair match. He lost. Only a fool would think that. I think I'm a very honest man. Much more honest than you, actually. Really? Yeah.

It was a free and fair match. You lost. Only a fool would think that. You think I'm a fool? I do now. Let's finish up the interview. Oh, it looks like high drama. But now there's drama following the promo.

This is before even the interview's here. Yeah, so Donald Trump has come out afterwards. He says he has a recording of how the interview ended. It didn't end with him walking out. He said we were there. It was meant to be 20 minutes. We did like an hour 20. We basically wrapped up saying it was great.

A good interview. We said some stuff. Obviously, there were some heated moments in it. But Donald Trump's saying he didn't walk out. And that promo's been doctored to look like he did. So who do you believe? The low-life tabloid journalist or the low-life impeached president? Who do you believe here?

Here's what Piers Morgan had to say when he was interviewed about it afterwards. He says it was a rigged election, and he now says I have a rigged promo. All I would say is watch the interview. It'll all be there. And we all will be watching the interview. And now he's making you watch it over two nights, too. Oh, well done. I mean, we all do the showbiz thing, don't we?

Love a bit of showbiz. But it's a low-life industry. And we love nothing more than a stitch-up of people in the edit suite, don't we? So I don't put it past anyone in this industry to stitch Donald Trump up with an edit. Every time I swipe my card and walk into this building, Ben, I leave two things at the door. My dignity and my morals. And I'll stitch anyone up.

That person who didn't let you merge probably listens to a lesser radio station. Tomo and Ben on the hits. A long weekend, Anzac weekend, paying tribute to the Anzacs. I know your grandfather fought in the war, didn't he, Ben? Yeah, both my nana and grandad are both stuff to do with the war. Are they doing services happening this year? Because I know we've been standing at the end of our driveways over the last couple of years.

Yeah, which is, you know, it's great that people can still honour it, but obviously not quite the same as everyone getting together. I know that I was just reading before the one at the Auckland Museum, which is a big one. I think it's just invitation only this year. So I'm not entirely sure what that means. Because a lot of people there would be vulnerable members of the community. Yeah.

Wouldn't they? So, yeah, that's coming on Monday, and on Monday a big day in our household as well, Ben, of succumb to the pressures, the peer pressures of puppy pressure. Yeah. Puppy pressure's been laying on thick for the last three years

from the kids, and you get it from both ends. Oh, you know, when they see a puppy, why have they got a puppy? And there's a guy, David Bryce, who's one of the managers here at the radio station. And gee, my wife, she works at the radio station too. So she has Zoom meetings with David Bryce. He's got 15 dogs.

15? So Poppy, my daughter, is watching these meetings on Zoom with this guy who's got 15 dogs. And David's like, look at all my dogs, Poppy. And she's like, why have you got 15 dogs? I don't even have one dog got 15 dogs. And David's like, look at all my dogs, Poppy. And she's like, why have you got 15 dogs? I don't even have one dog. 15 dogs. Wow.

So yeah, I think that was the straw that broke the camel's back for Poppy. So yeah, we're getting a puppy. But what I've found, Ben, and you'd know this, is they're expensive. This thing's not even in the house. Not even in the house. I wouldn't be buying all this stuff from websites. I've got a doggy couch. They're wolves.

They're 98% wolves. You know, there's wolves out there in the wild. They don't even know about these dogs here living on doggy couches. They've got couches here. Imagine if the wolves found that out. Oh, yeah. We bought our dog, Beau, like a little dog house, you know, because it'll protect him from the rain if he's outside.

Never once slept in it. I just always get him in there, put him in there. You think, mate, if he gets wet, he'd just come over and be right next to it. So we ended up giving it away to someone else who wanted it. Can you imagine like a wild wolf out there in the freezing snow would kill for a doghouse? Yeah, exactly. He's killing for other reasons at the moment, but he's killed for a doghouse. I honestly thought, and I may have got this wrong,

that the dog's only role around the house was to sniff my crotch every now and then and lick some stuff that it shouldn't be licking. But there's a lot more to it. Yeah, definitely is. Vet bills apparently are insane. Yeah, that's a fun one. Oh, that's a fun one. You'll enjoy that one.

Yeah. But on the flip side, I mean, it's amazing for, you know, amazing part of the family, you know. Like you can't imagine life without having, you know, once you've got a dog and it's part of the family, it's amazing. And I'm watching videos on YouTube and stuff of like, it's like having a baby in the house. Welcome to your new baby.

And I'm like, dear God. It's like you're up two or three times a night they need to, their bladders are so small and I'm like what have we done what on earth have we done but yeah if you want to make some money get into the puppy product game they're making a kill it

isn't it, more than the meth cooks for the gangs, these puppy people selling stuff online, because people have to buy it, or feel they have to buy it, don't they? Yeah. Yeah, it's the way to go. All right. Well, good luck with that.

We'll get a big update on Tuesday morning, how they are on day one of the puppy. The puppy in the pry house. Do they chew a lot of stuff? Oh, yeah. I lost about four or five pairs of shoes. And then our car, the gear stick and one of the things that's chewed off as well. The gear stick in the car?

Yeah. There was a couple of things. How has the dog found its way into the car to eat the gear stick? Oh, no, it was the car. It was on a ride with us in the car. And it was just like, when they go through that teething stage. It was always my shoes, too. I was like, why is it my shoes?

I don't get a kid's shoes. They'll grow out of them in like three months, but it was my shoes. Go chew on the gear lever of the car. Yeah, it's a fun time. Fun time to drive. Here we go. We'll keep you updated. Rise and shine. Time to start the, um, who are we kidding? We're not the boss of you. Jono and

Ben on the hits. Possible thunderstorms on the horizon today for some parts of the North Island, so that's some good news heading into a longer weekend, isn't it? Now, yesterday, Ben, I'm sure many listening to have relied on the Google Maps function. For years, we've been relying on Google Maps. And I've really appreciated the fact that it's taken me to the location directly, quickly and swiftly. But for the first time in my Google Maps career today it took a dog leads me off the main route

and it's like this is a quicker route if you turn left now take an off ramp and then traffic was at a standstill at this detour that google maps oh so it didn't help me out it didn't help me out and then it kind of maneuvered me back onto the main road that I was initially traveling down. So Google Maps took me 25 minutes off course. It was a 25-minute dogleg. What I think needs to be added to Google Maps is a, can we just talk about what just happened function? Yes. So you can kind of talk about it.

Technology's been around long enough now to know that if it's made a mistake, it should apologize to us. Yeah. Don't you think? Yeah, no, I agree with you. I mean, it is a helpful function, but it can take off. I get upset because my wife, she gets annoyed with the constant feedback from Google Maps.

So she gets the first update and then turns it off. And then I get lost after that. Just keep the thing on and then we'll get to the location. Oh, and it's like merge into the right lane. She's just, oh, I turned it off. I turned it off five hours ago. Yeah, so that's a little bugbear that I have in my relationship. Yeah, well, maybe I'm just thinking the technology is turning on us.

It's like, mate, we've never once stitched you up. You need to know. We've taken it for granted. And now it's like, hey, I'm going to take you on a couple of cheeky wrong turns just so you appreciate what an amazing feature this is. Producer Bee Humps, you suffered a wrong turn on Google Maps. Very, very spicy topic in our place. So I don't know what is wrong with Caitlin, my partner's app,

but it never gives the fastest route. The other day we were going out south to an event and we were just going there. It was supposed to be a 10-minute drive, be there for 15 minutes and then on to the next appointment. And we ended up on the wrong motorway. We were on the wrong motorway. And I'm like, why are we going this way?

And then we get stuck in Saturday traffic. What's Saturday traffic? It's the same thing. Saturday midday traffic is on the southern motorway. Yeah. You obviously have the tense relationship function turned on on Google Maps. Well, she's actually refusing to give me directions.

You're using your Google Maps. So my Google Maps has taken over. You know what never did us wrong? Using the stars as navigation and the scent of animal urine to get us from point A to B. That never stitched us up. Mapbooks used to be a thing.

I remember, you know, having a map book, and then you had to follow the grid to the next page. You're like, geez, that was tough. So I like Google Maps, even if it can put you wrong from time to time. Remember when we used to also rely, Belle, you might remember this, on the honesty of complete strangers

just walking along the footpath. Hey, mate, where's old Scavender Street? Second on the right, take another left there, follow the motorway. And they never did you wrong. Well, the thing is that, and I think we've spoken about this before, I feel like I never remember the whole thing. When someone tells you, I remember the first direction.

It's like, go up there, turn left, and then they keep going. I'm like, you've lost me. You lost me at drive up there. But I just go, yeah, yeah, thanks very much for that. Couple of things. I reckon Google Maps sucks and Apple Maps is better because Google always stitches you up. And also Uber drivers always use Google and they take you the longest way every time.

You said a couple of things, but was that the couple of things? Oh, that was two things. And then one more thing. Now I feel like you're going to have to make up the second thing. And then also, do you remember before we had it on our phones? I remember having to print off where I was needing to go on Google Maps and taking it with me. A clipboard.

You take a clipboard in the car. No one looks good with a clipboard in the car. Hey, hey, hey, wait, don't do this. This is what we want to open up. You can text New Zealand's Breakfast 2 on 4487 when you've taken the wrong turn. It could be due to your blundering or Google Maps. We'll take either.

Jono and Ben, Breakfast on the Hits. We're talking about when you've taken the wrong direction, often toering or Google Maps. We'll take either. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. We're talking about when you've taken the wrong direction, often to do with Google Maps, but not necessarily. Yeah, now Tracy with us on 800 The Hits. You took the wrong direction. What happened? Good, thank you. And how are you?

Good. You busy with school holes? Yes, I am. Running your ragged. What are you doing to fill up the time? I mean, it's just like biding time until it ends, isn't it really? Yes, I work in a holiday programme, so, yep.

Oh, you run a holiday programme? Yep. Oh, yeah, what do you do? What do you do with people's kids all day? Where are you taking them? We're doing wearable art today, so they're just making up clothes out of newspaper and the rubbish that we could find.

Some trousers out of tinfoil and stuff like that? Yes, that's it. Very cool. Well, there we're now, Tracy. We're just talking about going the wrong way. It happens to everyone in life, metaphorically and literally. What happened to you? I was going for my licence and I

went down the only one way of Whitianga, the wrong way. Also, I stalled the car. Oh, so you were in the middle of your licence test, were you? Yes. And there's only one one-way street in Witianga and you went down it the wrong way? Yes.

And stalled the car? Yes. In the middle of the one way or was this separately? I went straight down the wrong way. One way, the wrong way, one way the wrong way, and then I stalled the car and was trying to figure out why it wasn't going anywhere. It was at the end of the one way.

And so for the instructor, was it a whoa, whoa, whoa moment? No, he didn't say anything. Well, he should have. Yep, and then when we parked the car up, I just looked at him and I was like, I didn't get it, did you? And he, I should not say this on the radio, I got my licence. After that? Yeah.

Did you? Where is the bar set for you to fail your licence? Jeez, you must have nailed every other facet of it. Yeah. I remember seeing someone going down the runway of a street in Christchurch. Very confusing system in Christchurch. And I told you the other day, Jono,

and someone was like, stop, stop, stop. It's one way. And they said, great reply. They're like, yeah, I'm only going one way. And I was like, it's a great reply. I'm not swerving all over the road. Yeah, but it's like, you're going the wrong way. Oh, yeah, well, I'm only going one way. And I was like, oh, that's a great reply. I'm not swerving all over the road. Yeah, but it's like, you're going the wrong way. I'm like, oh, yeah, well, I'm going one way.

Oh, that's amazing, Tracy. Well, you go and look after kids today and have a great day. Thank you very much. See you, mate. Appreciate it. See you, mate. Text here, 4487, I'm a truck driver. Google Maps doesn't account for the height of bridges,

which has stitched up apparently many truck drivers who probably get to a point, you know, 30, 40 kilometres into their trip and have to turn around. I got stitched up in America a few years ago. Before we had kids, we were going over there visiting my wife's brother who lives over there and we're like, we're going to do this road trip from Washington

DC all the way to Toronto, see our family they had for Christmas. It's going to be nine hours. It's a long time, but it'll be fun. We're doing a road trip across the States. We had to Toronto to see a family they had for Christmas. It's going to be nine hours. It's a long time, but it'll be fun. We're doing a road trip across the States. We had to go to a place called Scarborough in Toronto. So I put it in, in the map, Scarborough. And they're like, you put it in?

I'm like, yeah, put it in. Then we started driving and a couple of hours into it, Hamish was like, my wife's brother was like, I feel like we might be going in the wrong direction. I'm like, nah, mate, Scarborough. Scarborough. You sent me to put in Scarborough. I put in Scarborough. See, see, see, Scarborough, itborough. You sent me to put in Scarborough. I put in Scarborough. See, this is it. Scarborough, it's all good.

Drove for a bit more. He's like, oh, I feel like we got into a bait about what side the sun sets. And I'm like, we're on the other side of the world. It's all good. And then we worked out that we were going to a whole other place called Scarborough, but it was like way, way off. So we're going to Scarborough in Maine, not Scarborough in Toronto. And it was a five-hour sort sort of dog leg trip that I added

to the whole trip Seems pretty monstrous on behalf of the town's founders of both Scarboroughs to name Scarborough and then have another Scarborough just within the same

within the same direction of the thing I'm like how would this happen so it happened to me Maybe they were found by the same explorer who was great at

finding cities but shocking at coming up with creative names for them. Yes. The sure weather masks make them look a whole lot better. Jono and Ben on the hits. All right, Ben Boyce.

Something that I want to talk about is the masks. The mask situation, which nowadays it's really good to see that not many people are wearing masks out and about now. It all feels like it's back to normality. It's starting to. I think some schools are still going to continue it, and obviously on public transport. But even in America, we spoke yesterday

that flights and public transport is not a legal requirement anymore. Yeah, I mean, it's great to see faces, just faces out and about, and not just the eyeballs of someone like some sultry belly dancer from the cast of Aladdin. That's what everyone looked like, didn't they?

Yeah. They looked a lot sexier, too. Well, you don't know. It's a bit of mystery, isn't it? It is a bit of mystery. There's people in this office that have been working here through the pandemic that I hadn't seen their face. No.

This is the thing. We've wandered around the building for almost a year and we've never seen their lips or chin, their lips or chin, their chin or lips situation. And the reveal of the mask, it's kind of been like that, remember that extreme beauty makeover show, the mask edition, where everyone, you're seeing faces for the first time. We worked with a gentleman the other day,

and he had a mask on for the entirety of the day, the duration of the day, and he pulled it off the end. And he was concealing the world's most magnificent moustache. It was an amazing moustache. It was a great moustache. Ron Burgundy himself would want to glue that moustache. I was like, where has he been hiding that? Well, obviously behind his mask. But, you know, he would want to get that moustache out and about.

And I was thinking, well, maybe through this whole thing we needed mask windows. So, you know, you had the mask and then just a clear piece of plastic so you could see what was happening behind the mask. Oh, they've got a moustache. Well, sometimes it's hard. You walk along the street and you want to be polite and smile, but you have to smile really hard with your eyes because they can't see that you're smiling with your mouth.

You can tell when someone's got nice smiley eyes. Yeah. No, you can. You can. But you have to work out those. You have to do the Tyra Banks smizing was her thing, wasn't it got nice smiley eyes. Yeah. No, you can. You can. But you have to work out those. You have to do the Tyra Banks smizing was her thing, wasn't it? Smile with the eyes. But there are also benefits of wearing a mask too.

You could hide unsightly pimples, cold sores. You never knew if anyone had a cold sore on their lips, did you? Yeah. And people questioned whether it was you at the supermarket buying all that Heineken or not. Remember that? He always likes to bring this up. Now, Bell Crawford, who's in helping us out at the moment. Bell, I went to the supermarket once.

Did you just? Oh, wow. I never thought you would have done that before. Don't worry, the story doesn't get any better. And a gentleman you used to work with, he texted me afterwards, and he said, were you just at the supermarket? And I said, well, yes, I was. And he said, you just at the supermarket and I said well yes I was and he said I thought so

because I saw you with a trolley load of 224 boxes of Heineken and nothing else it's gotta be Jono I can't tell because he's wearing a mask but it's definitely gotta be Jono because of what he's got in the trolley there we go that's why we need a mask hole too so I can drink the Heineken through the mask

another big addition we need to the masks he's got a mandate it's a man with a date and his date hole too so I could drink the Heineken through the mask. Another big addition we need to the masks. He's got a mandate. It's a man with a date and his date is with the news. Ben, what is happening in scrolling? Anzac Day on Monday, of course commemorating those who fought for New Zealand. Many

who gave the ultimate sacrifice. I mentioned before, you know, my grandpa and nana, you know, worked for New Zealand when my grandpa went overseas and he didn't really talk too much about fighting for New Zealand in the war, but... He said he never spoke about it. No, I do remember going to the Waeruru Army Museum, just out of Taupo, and, yeah, just going there with them.

And I always remember he was crying, and he didn't really say anything, and he said the only thing, he said it was so realistic, the only thing they didn't have were the swarms of flies that obviously they had to encounter as well. So you didn't even think about that, dealing with their own... Jeez, that would be literal PTSD for those soldiers going back to an environment like that. I was just looking that Anzac Day, did you know they were all volunteers? There was no conscription.

There was no, like, you must go to war. All of them volunteered to go over. Incredible. And also the Anzac biscuits, which are very popular too, but they were sent over and some of them were so rock hard, soldiers would break their teeth on them. So they actually had to say, there must be a better way. So they started to melt them down into porridge.

And they said the good thing is they can be used as souvenirs that can be passed on for generations. And they're out there with the ginger nut when it comes to worrying about the safety of your teeth when you're biting into them. This year, of course, is 100 years since the first ever poppy appeal was held. And in a typical year, millions of poppies are manufactured

in Christchurch by a team of 10 to 12 volunteers. But due to COVID and obviously not being able to get together to do it, only 600 to 700,000 were made over the last year, which still seems like a lot for 12 people. But normally I reckon next year, 1.5 million poppies they reckon they'll make

in 11 months of the year. 10 to 12 people made those? That's prolific. How impressive is that? One factory in Christchurch produces 99% of the poppy salt. So incredible. So a poppy day, I think, is today. So if you do see collectors on the streets, make sure you get a poppy

and honour those who did so much for New Zealand. And the last post, obviously, synonymous with Anzac Day. You hear it being played on the bugle and the trumpet. And that was actually during the war to signify the day his fighting was over. Really? Time for the soldiers to come back. Oh, I didn't know that. And that would war to signify the day's fighting was over really time for the soldiers to come back and that was the that would bellow out over the fields and just quickly as well i'm making news this morning uh sadly for this auckland teenager tested positive for covid

twice in six weeks uh the family said uh the boys doing okay at the moment but also it goes you know it goes kind of against this whole are you good for 90 days thing twice in six weeks now i've loved uh trading off this 90 day thing after both of us have contracted covid i've been wandering around like you know four from the avengers nothing will get me nothing will get me but can i just ask has anyone of any note ever said you're going to be fine for 90 days or is this just a rumor that we all started to make ourselves feel better? Well, yeah, because the current Ministry of Health guidelines give people a three-month exemption from, you know,

household contacts catching COVID. So they've kind of said, oh, three months, you're good, you don't have to test and this, you know. But I'm like, you're right. What are we basing this on? Has anyone ever asked what we were? Maybe it was just a thing we all needed to hear. You've got COVID, but don't worry, you'll be all right for three months.

So that means this kid's going to be fine for nine and a half years now. Probably. I've done the research. Five words for 5K. You're just five words away from $5,000. Every morning around about this time, we play this game. It's a lot of fun. It's a game of word association.

We tell you five words. You tell us what pops into your head after those five words. Every morning around about this time we play this game. It's a lot of fun. It's a game of word association. We tell you five words. You tell us what pops into your head after those five words. And if they all match up with ours, you win $5,000. All right, Imogen, let's get you on from Christchurch. Morena. Morena, how are you guys? We're doing well, let me.

We want to give you some serious problems, like how the hell you're going to spend $5,000. Oh, it would be so good. What would you use it on? I'm actually renovating my house at the moment, so it would go towards that, probably the kitchen. Oh, everything is just expensive when you're renovating, right? Yeah. Are you doing it yourself, or are you using tradies,

and is it the world's biggest ball lake doing a renovation during this weird time when there's no supplies? It is actually really annoying that there's no supplies like jib and things, but I'm getting my carpet installed today so it's quite handy. Oh, that's good carpet. Getting carpet installed is also lovely, don't get me wrong, but you have to

move everything. Oh, I just moved three bedrooms worth outside, so hopefully it doesn't rain. Is all your stuff sitting outside at the moment? Yeah. She's taking a gamble. She's ready for a gamble. Alright, well that's who you're ready to gamble on to win outside, so hopefully it doesn't rain. Is all your stuff sitting outside at the moment? Yeah. She's taking a gamble. She's ready for a gamble. Alright, well, who are you ready to gamble on to win your $5,000? John or Ben?

I'd love to go with John, hopefully. Alright, he's going to make his way to the soundproof booth. Imogen, you know how the game works, obviously. Yes, I do. Okay. You can't hear us right now. Your first word this morning is brow. B-R-O-W, brow. Eyebrow.

Yes. Eye. Eye. Yeah. Nerf is the second word. N-E-R-F, nerf. Gun. Nerf gun.

I'm matching with you two from two so far. Point is the third word this morning. P-O-I-N-T, point. Point. Oh, blank. Point blank. Yeah, that's a good option. Four is the fourth word, funnily enough.

F-O-U-R, four. Four. Oh, I'm thinking, I've got two in my head. Would he go five or would he just say number? Let's go with number. Number. And the final one this morning, Emmy, is space. Five, or would you just say number? Let's go with number. Number. And the final one this morning, Emmy, is space.

S-P-A-C-E, space. Space? Yeah, space. Oh, gosh, I've got... There's a lot for that one. Space ship or astronaut or... Let's go with ship. Spaceship. Hey, I think you played a really good game this morning.

It's always tough when there's multiple options on some of those words, but we'll get Jono out of the soundproof booth and see if you can match up five words. Hey, Emmy, once you're done renovating your house, do you think you could renovate the interior of the soundproof booth? Oh, absolutely. I'll come up and do that for you. It's looking a little drab.

I'm not qualified or anything, but that's all right. That's all right. That's all right. We've got office carpet as walls on there. Yeah. It's carpeted walls. I think it's the ad for the soundproofing, I'm guessing. Yeah, right.

Hey, how do you think you went, Imogen? Hopefully all right. Last time I got, I only got four from five, so I'm hoping for a five from five. We can improve. Yeah. Played previously. She's a vet. She's a vet. All right. Here we go, all right. Last time I got, I got four from five. So I'm hoping for a five from five. We can improve. Yeah. Played previously. She's a vet.

She's a vet. All right. Here we go, Jono. The first word we said to Imogen this morning was brow. Brow. Brow as in eye. Eyebrow? Yeah, as in.

Eye. Yeah, as in eyebrow. Eyebrow. Yeah, yeah. Well done. Nerf is word number two. Nerf. We've got two here

Okay Go Gun What was your second? Bullets Oh okay They litter throughout my house Gotcha

And at any stage you can be attacked Okay You've got to have your wits about you Wandering around our residence Imogen Point is word number three P-O-I-N-T Point

Are you a fan of 1980s movies with Keanu Reeves Point is word number three. P-O-I-N-T, point. Are you a fan of 1980s movies with Keanu Reeves referencing New Zealand by any chance? Maybe, no. Probably not. Probably not. Are you a fan of public pools located in the... Hey, hey, hey, just no more questions, all right? Points, blank. hey, just no more questions alright? Points Blank?

Oh, well done! It was blank or break Okay, four is word number four F-O-U-R Four square? Oh! It was a good option, I didn't even think of four square That was a very good one

Number, the number four. And finally, space. Spaceship. Oh, Amy, four out of four again. Mate. Mate. Imogen. Oh, no.

I'm so sorry. You're so close. No, that's all right. We have to get back on for a three-peat at some stage. We do. We do. Yeah. It was so much fun, though.

Thank you. You're awesome. Hey, good luck laying the carpet and getting your Renaults done, Imogen. Thank you. You guys have a good day. You too, matey. Next on the show, it's a technology blowout. It's happening to my sister.

It's a cracker. We'll do that after Harry Styles. Brand new for him. It's As It Was. Coming to New Zealand March next year. Very excited about that. It is the hits. You got Jono and Ben?

Jono and Ben. Just like family. The family members you're ashamed of. Jono and Ben. On the hits. Now, my sister, Jono, as you know, lives up north in Russell. Beautiful part of New Zealand, Russell. The oldest.

They love talking about the oldest place. Which it winds you up, though, because everything claims to be the oldest and we get it once you've got the oldest you know the oldest pub you got the oldest church you got the oldest of course you got the oldest police station of course you got everything's the oldest I'm like get it I get it everything's the oldest do you think there should just be one sign at the beginning of Russell where you're driving and this kind of goes over the road that says welcome to the oldest everything yeah it just covers the base for the entire area. But one of the cool things about Russell,

beautiful, you know, obviously beautiful on by the water, but you see all these people parasailing. It's awesome. It often happens over across in Paihe, but you can see it up there and people parasailing around the ocean. Ever parasailed?

I have. I did that one. It was really fun. It was awesome. And my sister had been living up there in Russell for a while and she's like, I need to do this one day. I need to get up there and do parasailing.

So it's a bit of a once-in-a-lifetime thing you can go along to in parasail, and it costs a little bit, but she's like, no, I'm going to do it. I'm sure you can parasail in other places. Well, yeah. You can do it more than once in a lifetime. Oh, but you know what I mean. There's professional parasailers. Yeah, well, totally.

But it's not something that you're going to pay for and do everything. Oh, wasn't that enjoyable? No, you may only do it once. It's like one of those things. You might bungee jump once. It's something, you know, money's tight at the moment. She's like, no, I'm going to pay for myself, and I'm going to do this parasailing.

I'm going to do it. And so she went on the boat by herself, and there was a whole lot of other group of people there. And there was a sort of a couple in their 50s, and the wife was she was parasailing as well and she watched as her husband was taking videos and photos of him and she was like oh cool i'll hand my phone to him he looks like he's the photographer out of the two of them he's not parasailing for him it wasn't even once in a life he was like not even you know nuts

nuts in a life but he looked like the official boat photographer yeah he was going to get the ground shots up yeah like not a very flattering shot i imagine no ground facing up but he looked like the official boat photographer. He was going to get the ground shots up. Like not a very flattering shot, I imagine. No. Ground facing up. But he looked like he knew what he was doing. So my sister said, hey, could you take some photos? I went, I'm up there. He said, yeah, no worries.

I can do that. And she came up. They came back from the experience. Loved it. I thought Parisang was awesome. Amazing views. Thought it was cool. And the guy's like, got some great shots.

Took heaps. Did a burst. Yeah. He's like, I took so many. Got great shots. She's like, thank you so much. That's awesome. She just sat down on the shots. Took heaps. Did a burst. Yeah, he's like, I took so many, got great shots. She's like, thank you so much. That's awesome. She just sat down on the boat, had a look at the first photo.

I was like, oh, it's the guy's face. Just with a chin. Okay, I'll go to the next one. Oh, again, it's the guy's face with a chin. 26 photos. All of them is chin. Just close-ups of his face. Not a single one. Not a single one.

Not a single one of her parasailing. She's like, it comes up in her photo stream now every year. And she's like, I can't delete the photos

because it makes me laugh so much. Chin-stagram. Beautiful shot. That her only memory of this amazing experience. Well, I mean, how was his jawline

and his chin? Maybe it was. He's like, I've got magnificent shots. Great shots. I took a lot. If you like chins, maybe she didn't specify what she wanted photos chin. Maybe it was. He's like, I've got magnificent shots. Great shots. I took a lot. If you like chins. Maybe she didn't specify what she wanted photos of.

Maybe it's of her. Maybe he's like, oh, she's caught her. Her eyes have caught my finely defined chin here. I'll give her what she wants. I know what they want. I'll give the fans what they're after. That's all 26 photos. All of the guy's face.

I'm like, that's so good. The great thing about listening to this show is that the day can only get better from here Jono and Ben

on the hits a lot of talk in the news about inflation higher inflation in Australia we have at the moment 6.9%

is the highest in 30 years in New Zealand yeah Christopher Lux the national leader he says the government is addicted to spending

and Grant Robertson national finance spokesperson said you don't know what you're talking about Yeah, Christopher Luxon, national leader, he says the government's addicted to spending. And Grant Robertson, national finance spokesperson, said, you don't know what you're talking about. And then David Seymour chimed in with some stuff as well. And what they all couldn't agree on was with each other. That's right. Because they're blaming overseas. They're saying the Ukraine wars had a huge effect. A lot of ports in China are shut.

So that affects the supply chain issues, which mean prices for things rise. Well, that's, yeah, because I wasn't entirely sure what inflation was. So if you're like me, I just Googled it. So inflation is the rate in which the currency is falling and the general level of prices for goods and services is rising. So that's kind of what they measure it on, because I'm like, I don't really know what it means, but I know it's not good. What doesn't rise with inflation is your average salary or pay packet as well. Yeah. So you end up struggling. That's right. But I know it's not good And what doesn't rise with inflation Is your average salary Or pay packet as well Yeah

So you end up struggling That's right So we wanted to open up the phones this morning And try and be positive Because it's a Friday It's a short week And we're a positive show Yeah

Apart from Monday mornings So when you've got a bargain When you save money You know Because it's a time for You know maybe for saving some money And you know Kiwis love a bargain Don't they

We do We love We love bragging about a bargain Ben Humphrey Our producer Behump Has got a jacket the other day. Remember that? He bragged.

He said, $150 retail. Guess what I got it for? $30. I've never seen you wear it again, though. It's a camo jacket. It's camo, that's why.

I mean, it was quite a bold fashion choice for you too, Behump. He's worn it, but you can't see him because he's camouflaged, mate. That's how you can't see him. He's worn it many times.

You just don't know he's there. So we want to open up the brag about your bargain. Bargain brag line. Basically, it's like we say. We love bragging about bargains here in New Zealand as much as we love watching celebrities from overseas try Marmite for the first time. Yeah. Now, it's school holidays at the moment

so my family yesterday went to the mall and I was like, oh, jeez. Have you guys heard about inflation? Yeah, what are you spending money on? But they all claimed to have found a bargain. Have a listen. We got such a bargain at the mall. So today we went to the mall. And we went to Kmart.

Yeah, and we were like, oh, let's buy some fake nails. And so we went over to the nails and bought some for $6. And then our mum wanted to get our nails done, so we went in there. And then, so the lady there, she was not doing, not doing anything because it was, like, empty as. Yeah, and so she taught us how to put them on and put all our nails on for us using the glue and everything. And it was just such a bargain

because it would normally cost a lot more than that. So you got professional nails done for $6. Yeah. My professional nail person. Hey, I got a good bargain too. I got sheets, half price, so I'm actually saving us money, right? You're not saving money. You're spending money.

Saving money is not buying. So I'm going to go down that route. This is a family argument, but yeah. Family argument. The people don't need to hear that. Ugly scenes. You're never saving money if you're spending money. That's my argument.

Do you reckon when your family drive home from the mall and they're like, oh, we're going home to tight ass, what's going to be the narrative here, guys? What are we coming with? What's our pitch? What's he going to record? At least if you spent $6, we want to hear about it for the radio. Your two kids, when they're talking,

sound like that adorable couple who finish each other's sentences. Kind of like us, I guess, in some ways, except without the adorable part. So we're going to open up the phones this morning, as you said before, the biggest bargain that you've ever got. Yeah, brag about a bargain. We'll take any of this. So what you've got to do is you've got to tell us the item, and then the game is Ben

and me try and figure out how cheap you got that item for, okay? The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. We want to open up the bargain brag line. Kev, we love bragging about a bargain, don't we? Yeah, we do. We're going to kick it off with you, Robin Hamilton. Come on in, Robbo. Hi, guys.

How are you? How are you, Robin? Now, you name the item. We try and figure out what bargain you got it for, okay? Okay. So, a backstory. We were driving through Ngaruahia yesterday, and we saw a sign for avocados at the local supermarket dairy place.

Oh, Ngaruahia. Did you swing by the Delta Tavern? No, it's a bit of a ghost town there, to be honest. Oh, yeah, because the new motorway bypasses Ngaruahia now, doesn't it? Yeah, it does. And it sounds like they're bypassing a bargain. Yeah, avocados. So what do you reckon avocados have got down to?

Are we talking one single avocado here? This is what we're trying to figure out the price of? Okay. Yeah. I reckon maybe they've got down to $2. A little bit less. I wouldn't pay $2 for an avocado. A dollar.

A little bit less than that, too. Less than that? I've got $0.80. Less than that? Less than $0.80. $0.50. Less than that? I've got 80 cents? Less than that. Less than 80? 50 cents? What was that? 50 cents.

Less than that. What? Hang up and get the hell out of here. What did you pay for an avocado? We paid 39 cents for an avocado. 39 cents. Wow. That's a great deal.

That's a bargain. It was worth bypassing not being on the motorway and bypassing through Ngaruahia yesterday. Millennials, if you're listening right now, get there. Get to Ngaruahia. Ngaruahia will go, who are all these young people? What are they doing? That's incredible.

All of a sudden the economy of Ngaruahia goes up. Yeah, boost. Avocado bargains in Ngaruahia at the moment. I love those really trusting people, usually on state highways and stuff, who just leave a giant bin of avocados. Yeah. There's the honesty policy.

Yeah. It beats walking around and picking beehives up off the ground. That's true. Thank you for your call. I really appreciate it. Have a great weekend. All the best. Robin, thank you very much.

She didn't want to hear from you, Ben. She'd done her gold. I've given you the content. More avocados. What more do you very much. She didn't want to hear from you, Ben. She'd done her gold. I've given you the content. More avocados. What more do you want from me? Goodbye. Let's go on 0800, the hits right now, to Mark. What was your bargain?

Well, it's not mine. It's actually a friend, but it was a really good bargain. Guy advertised in a local newspaper, car going cheap. Car going cheap. Car going cheap. Okay, so now we need to guess how cheap he got the car for. So what sort of car are we talking? I can't remember what the brand was, but I just know the price was estimated between $15,000 and $20,000.

It was a new car, but it was being sold as secondhand. Oh, wow. So $15,000. So they had a bargain. And that was 30 years ago, yeah? So 10 grand would have been a bargain, I would imagine. Are you looking in 10? I'm going to go 5K, $5,000.

What was it? Down. Down? Less than five grand. Okay. $2,000. Down. Oh, okay.

This is great bartering. I love that this way is good. $1,000. Down. Oh, this is a is great battering. I love that this way is good. $1,000. Down. Oh, this is a $20,000 vehicle. Okay, $500. Down. Oh.

Mark, this is madness. $100? Yep, exactly. Oh, wow. A $20,000 car for $100. But there's a big story behind it. The guy was going through some messy divorce, and apparently his wife got half of the car when he sold it.

So he was deliberately trying to sell it cheaply, and he said, make me an offer, and legally I'll accept it. Make it as low as you possibly can. And my friend just thought to himself, I'll get $100, like a question statement, you know? And he was like, And the guy goes, sold. Wow.

That is a great negotiation. Like, somebody's got a car, make an offer as low as you can think, and I'll give it to you. I love it. That is a $100 vehicle. So then, obviously, the man going through the divorce, he split the $100 50-50 with his wife.

50 bucks, just out of spite. What a savage play from him. You said it was a messy divorce. That is a filthy divorce. Thank you, Mark. Really appreciate your time this morning, mate. All right, mate. All right, take care.

Jono and Ben's Better Man, with an exclusive evening with Robbie Williams, Saturday, April 30 in Melbourne. It's an amazing competition to go see Robbie Williams' four people end of the month. Incredible. Kimbo. Hi, how are you? Good.

You sound sprightly, awake. I am, I am. I'm trying. You got caffeine burning through those veins of yours? Definitely. Yeah. Now you want to go see Robbie Williams in Melbourne? Of course you do, right? Oh yeah, definitely. I love Robbie Williams. Everyone

who goes to Robbie Williams is always like, oh, I love Robbie. Love Robbie Williams. Bit of a cheeky larrikin, isn't he? He does seem like a good dude. I walked past him in a corridor once when I was writing ads, and he was there, and I was like, hey. He went, hey.

And that was my interaction. But I was like, oh, that's cool. Yeah, and you're like, oh, I love Robbie Williams. Yeah. Yeah. What a great conversation, Ben. It was great. Afterwards, I was like, why didn't I ask him something else

or do something else? But it just went the real Kiwi way. Hey. Hey. But then as soon as they walked past, we'd start freaking out, going, oh, my God. I just remember Robbie Williams. Oh, my God.

It was really rude. He only said, hey. Yeah. I've made more conversations. Yeah, it was on me. Okay. Now, Nicole, what we want to do is we want to send you and three friends over to Melbourne to see Robbie Williams in this one-off very special show.

He's going to be interviewed. He's going to be filmed. He's going to be at the Rod Laver Tennis Arena. Have you heard of tennis? Yes. Yep. Melbourne Australian Open played in that very arena. It looks epic.

Oh, my gosh. It's very exciting. So we need to ask you some questions, and then we're going to call Craig. Who's Craig? Yep. Craig is my partner, my husband. Okay. And we're going to see if Craig can get these answers correct.

And so far, everyone has been so good at this competition. I hope so. Oh, yeah. So we asked five questions, and all four of the husbands so far have got five out of five. Put them all on the cover of Husband Monthly. Yeah. Well, fingers crossed, mate. Fingers crossed.

Yeah, they know dates. They know favorite movies, favorite colors of ice cream, the results from the year 13 exams. They know it all. Yeah, they do. They're very good. Alright, let's see if Craig can nail these questions. So, what's your birthday, Nicole? It's the 27th of April. Okay, 27th of April. Okay.

Happy birthday for five days. Oh yeah, a few days away. Wedding anniversary? It's the 17th of November. Okay. I was born on the 13th of November. Oh, that's a good month. That's four days afterwards. Ben gets wound up when I say it. He always goes, it's liketh of November. Okay. I was born on the 13th of November. Oh, that's a good month. That's four days afterwards. Ben gets wound up when I say it.

He always goes, it's like anything in November. You're like, oh, I was born. It's like, okay, it's not your actual birthday. Big month. Okay. Your first born child was born when? 21st of December. Favourite food.

Do you have a favourite food? I love fish. Fish? Okay, nice. Yeah. And your favourite TV show. What's Nicole's a favourite food? I love fish. Fish? Okay, nice. Yeah. And your favourite TV show? What's Nicole's favourite TV show? Oh my gosh.

I'm going to say it's Shortland Street. Oh, nice. Oh, yeah. A bit of a sucker for Shortland Street. Me too. Although if you don't, if you let it get away on you for a few weeks, it gets away. Yeah. You've got to claw it back in.

That and Home and Away. Home and Away has gone away for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, all right. So we're going to give Craig a call right now. Craig, what would he be doing at this very moment? Craig, he's an IT licensing specialist. Oh, nice.

Oh, IT licensing specialist. I'm not entirely sure what that means, but it's all right. There's no time for that. It's Craig's answer. Craig. Yeah, how are you doing, mate? It's John and Ben. What on earth are you doing for a job?

We were trying to figure it out. Oh, it's pretty complicated. Yeah, okay. All right, stop there. You don't have to have the answer to that question, but you do need to have the answer to some questions about Nicole. She's on the line right now. For you guys to hopefully go see Robbie Williams in Melbourne, okay?

Oh, dude, that'll be awesome. Before you kick into this, who pays for the divorce lawyer if I get this one? I don't think that's part of the T's and C's. I think we can cover those costs as well. You guys need to get five out of five to remain in the competition. That doesn't mean you're going to win it.

That just means that everyone else so far has got five out of five. So there's no pressure, but there's some bloody good husbands out there, Craig. All right. Oh, mate. Okay. This is more pressurised than who wants to be a millionaire.

Who wants to remain married? Who wants to remain married? You're awesome, Craig. All right. The intense music has started, Craig. The beads of sweat are rolling down his forehead. Here we go. Nicole's birthday.

What is her birthday, Craig? On the 27th of April, 1983. Oh, we didn't even know. You didn't have to say the date. We didn't have to say the year. We didn't get the year. That's all right. She omitted that information when she handed it over.

You're correct. Well done. One from five. Your wedding anniversary. Again, don't have to say the year. Just what is the month and the date? 17th of November. Yes, well done, Craig.

Jeez, you are on fire, mate. You've got a firstborn. What was their birthday? She was on the 21st of December. Three from five. Two away from still remaining in this competition and playing our game show, Who Wants to Remain Married as well. Favourite food. What is Nicole's favourite food?

Oh, definitely fish. Oh my gosh. Now, this should be low-hanging fruit because she said without a doubt she catches this every night. Yeah, her favourite TV show. What is it? Oh, that would be that Shortland Street.

Yes! Well done, you two. Is it you What is it? Oh, that would be that Shortland Street Yes! Well done you two. Is it you or is it me or does it sound like Craig has just breezed on through this competition? Five out of five. Yeah, no, no. Yeah, you guys can remain married and remain in our competition

and hopefully you guys will be going with two other people to go see Robbie Williams in Melbourne end of the month. Awesome! That is so awesome. That is so awesome. Thanks, guys. You're essential listening for non-essential banter. Jono and Ben on the hits.

I've been looking for a cassette tape player for a long time now because we had audio of a cassette of Jono Pryor's first radio show, which I'm not going to play again now we've done the bullying of you. Yeah, we got a good 45 minutes out of it yesterday. It was good. Therapy will help me through that, though. You can check it out on the iHeartRadio podcast if you want to check out the John Olven podcast. Oh, you put it on the podcast? Yeah, of course.

The radio show goes up on the podcast, so that's where it is. Lives there forever. But I got this tape deck home, and it's amazing because, you know, we live in an age of amazing technology. Which I don't feel we appreciate enough. No. Take it all for granted. We talked about the movies the other day, all the things they're doing in movies. You've got iPads, you've got computers, you've got

so much great stuff. But my daughter Indy was fascinated by this cassette player. Even you could push the eject button and the tape would come out. And she just thought it was incredible. Have a listen. Magic! Are you amazed by that technology? Yeah. What do all the other buttons do?

Yeah. Look at this. So you see this is closed, right? Mm-hmm. You press it. Wow. So cool, right? My other daughter, Sienna, was not quite as thrilled by it.

But she's like, magic. She's like, magic. It's just an opening. You've got far cooler stuff now as kids. Yeah. Well, that's like, magic. It's like, magic. It's just an opening. You've got far cooler stuff now as kids. Yeah. Well, that's what I said. But I was sort of reflecting on some things that, you know, mainly from, you know, the 90s.

And, you know, I was talking about how, you know, you record songs from the radio. Belle Crawford, who's filling in, you know, for Juliet in the moment. You used to do the same as well. You record songs. You get the lyrics and stuff. Yeah, get the songs. I'd even, like, make ad breaks and structure.

We were nerds, weren't we? Making radio shows. All radio people were nerds when they were growing up making their own. In their own bedroom by themselves making radio shows. But even people writing the lyrics. I mean, what a redundant exercise that was, writing the lyrics to songs. But you would. You'd pause it, you'd stop it, you'd write it.

Because you couldn't Google lyrics back in the day. It was so annoying when the radio announcer would talk over the intro of the song. Yeah, when you record it off the radio. Which is what we do every morning. Now you can get it on Spotify. You can get it on Apple Music. But I found an article from BuzzFeed, a BuzzFeed article about things we did in the 90s, like playing cassettes that we'll never do again.

I wanted to throw it out to you guys right now and see if you were like, yeah, I did that in the 90s, but I'd never do that again right now. Winding the window down by hand. Remember doing that? I do remember winding the window down. Remember having to do that? Yeah. Most cars had that.

I had a very old car for many years, so we were still doing it there. Still doing it long past the 90s. Yeah. Okay, doing a magic iBook. Remember the magic iBooks? No. No, you didn't do that. You'd hold it up, and then you'd move it slowly away from your face and slowly a pattern would

emerge. Now you've got YouTube. No, I wouldn't magic eye again. Okay. Making it back to the couch before the ad break finished. It was such a thing when you're watching a TV show. Yeah. And it was the perfect amount of time to go to the toilet as well.

Yeah. They really did well. And do you remember, speaking of which, you always had to watch bloody MASH. Yeah. MASH. Yeah. MASH at 5.30. It was like a Hot Lips Houlihan. Hot Lips Houlihan. I mean, Hot Lips Houlihan wouldn't stack up in 2022, that's for sure.

I know you called a few people around here Hot Lips. Oh, here we go. It was quite confronting when you first heard it, wasn't it, Belle? Yeah. When you're like, is he calling her Hot Lips? Yeah, it's weird. What? Don't, Belle.

Don't get involved in this. And rewinding a VHS before you return it to the shop. Something we've never had to do since then. And when you put the videotape in

and it was halfway through the mask or something, boy, you were filthy. And the final one, rehearsing your phone message before putting it on your home phone.

That was something probably you guys would do as radio nerds. Hi, Bill, Jenny, Dennis, and Michael. I don't think I was allowed to do it. We're not here at the moment.

Leave a message after the tone. Could do a family one. I mean, some wild years have gone by, haven't they? I mean, it wasn't that long ago that we were smoking on airplanes. Yeah, true. Which just sort of created a sort of vacuum-sealed flying cancer capsule, essentially. I mean, in 30 years, they'll watch, they'll be playing footage of all of us vaping, going, look at these idiots sucking on exhaust pipes.

It'll happen. Yeah, it's true. There's a little Friday reflection for you. It is the hits. You've got John Orbit, 842. The hits. Rihanna in the news today. ASAP Rocky, her boyfriend, in a bit of trouble?

Yeah, she's pregnant too, Rihanna. Heavily pregnant. And they're walking off a plane, and he got arrested at LAX airport. Been accused of shooting someone. You never want to be accused of shooting anyone, Ben. That's my general life rule. And I never would have thought I heard myself say, you and ASAP Rocky have something in common.

Both of you have been arrested at the airport. All right. Let's see some spy with Balcroft. Spy. No what's up. Spy.co.nz. I'll just hit that off for you right there it's good for our credibility it's good for our yeah there we go bell crawford here we are with

a whole bunch of stories that may or may not be true but the important thing is we read them out what's happening first up of the least complicated so adele has fired the creative team organizing her las vegas residency and she's hired a new one to try and save it and make sure it will still go ahead. You might remember there was this residency announced, everyone was buying tickets, people over here were getting excited about it. It was super expensive and then she had to tearfully announce that it wasn't ready, couldn't go ahead

and they had to can it. Yeah, it's not the sort of announcement you want to make with a smile on your face because I think her fans were already there, a lot of them, in Vegas. They'd flown from the UK. It was meant to start. It was a very quick turnaround. Like, starting in January, it was meant to be going until this month. And she's hoping it can kick off in their summer. She's got this new team in.

She even had to fire people she's worked with for a really long time, her longtime set designers. Instead, replacing them with the team who've worked with Take That, also put together the Rolling Stones anniversary tour to create a whole new show. Why'd she fire them? Because they stuffed it up, didn't get it ready in time. They screwed it up.

It's all them. Adele's not happy. Adele's not happy, she'll fire you. Yeah. And also, there's a big trial going on at the moment. You may see it all across your socials. I've been getting in TikTok hells about it as well. And Johnny Depp is in a trial with

Amber Heard, his ex-wife, at the moment. Defamation, he's saying she's defamed him. And it's expected to go for six weeks. There's so much to cover in this. I'm just going to play a quick bit of audio of Johnny. Miss Heard, in her frustration and in her rage and her anger, she would strike out.

She would... It could begin with a slap... It could begin with a slap. It could begin with a shove. And for more Spy, you can go to thehits.co.nz. Spy, thanks to Kardashian's new episode tonight streaming on Disney+. The messy situation.

Toxic relationship, isn't it? I'm always like, they're both great actors. Who do you believe? Who do you believe in this situation? And it is just sad. As you said before, the whole thing is just sad that they have to have this whole thing play out for the world to see. You know, all this sort of stuff and text messages and stuff.

The whole thing is sad. I'm just like, ugh. But anyway, we'll find out how that goes over the next coming week on The Hits. Jono and Ben, brought to you by Resene, New Zealand's most trusted paint. Kiwi made since 1946.