Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: A Listener Accidentally Shot Himself In The Hand With A Speargun!

Episode Date: February 24, 2022

We spoke to listener Blair who was figuring out if a speargun he was holding was faulty or not. Turns out it wasn't... And he accidentally shot himself in the hand. OWWWWWW. Ben also found something out about Jono that he never knew after all these years, and it's hilarious. Finally, we wanted to know about the odd job you have had, or the job that we'd never really think about. We spoke to a letter folder, a pasty crimper and a lube maker! Enjoy the show.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Birds with the Jono and Ben podcast. Hello there, it's the 24th of February, Thursday. Ben Boyce, Jono Pryor here. It's the podcast. Ben, tomorrow on the show we're talking about your cricket commentary debut. Oh, for the ACC, yeah. Yeah, apparently you've got someone to critique my performance. Well, a performance appraisal, I didn't get to hear it.

But all accounts, you did a fantastic job. Well, no, I don't know if it was fantastic. I was a little bit nervous, to be honest. It's funny because you do a lot of, you know, I've been lucky enough to do a bit of TV and radio over the years. But I was a bit nervous before that because, you know, you feel like it's someone else's, you know. Someone else's territory.

You're in your safe place with me. This is like home. Well, it is, you know. It's like home, you know. I'm here. I'm giving you missionary. I'm giving you your dinner. You don't want to overstep your will. You know, you don't want to know. You you know. I'm here. I'm giving you missionary. I'm giving you your dinner. You don't want to overstep your will.

You know, you don't want to know. You want to try and work out where you sort of fit in, if you fit in at all. But it was fun. It's always been a dream of mine to, you know, to commentate some cricket. Well, we've got some audio here of you commentating. Do we play it?

We can play it. Well, B-Humps, he did. Producer B-Humps has got hold of it. So this is on Spark Sport. Yeah. Cricket commentary. Here's Ben Boyce. First ball off the bat, so to speak.

And Matt Henry. I mean, this pitch is looking greener than Chloe Swellbrook driving an electric car. But we showed how to bat on it. You can literally hear the crickets. You can hear the crickets at the game. What if they had to give you nothing? Nothing. It's not that sort of environment, is it?

You know, our show, we politely laugh along at attempts at humour. Yeah, we do. You know? We do. We support each other. What, did you look to your right and they just blanched you? I was like, guys, guys, you know? I almost got to that stage where you repeat, you know,

Chloe Swarbrick driving an electric car green. I love it. I love it just because you get in the sound feed from the actual game and you can hear the crickets. Hold on. You can hear the crickets at the end. Chloe Swarbrick driving an electric car, but we showed how to bat on it.

You can hear crickets the insect and cricket the game. It's a double lot of crickets. That joke is the first joke to ever have, double crickets. I'm going to have a word to them. Oh, no, don't need mum coming in. Then I'm going to laugh at my boy. I'm going to have words, okay? I'm going to send an email.

No, it's fine, it's fine. You know, it was fun. I really, I did enjoy it. But as you say, it was, you know, just trying to work out the vibe and maybe lines like that aren't the vibe. They as I say, it was, you know, just trying to work out the vibe and maybe lines like that aren't the vibe. They could have just gone, hmm, something. Something. Just dead air.

Yeah, you're right. But anyway. Those were long seconds afterwards. How long until they picked up the commentary? Oh, like minutes, minutes. You know, I definitely killed the commentary with that. But yeah, but it was fun. Yeah, no, it was good fun I'm glad you got to finally do it because we've been wanting to do it for two years since we've been here

and that was the only highlight we played that's me dying with a joke do you actually do proper cricket stuff? yeah you do talk about the cricket stuff but then test match cricket you've talked about it, it's a long time there's a lot of time in between

and because it's not on the radio as such, you're not having to commentate every single... People can see what's going on. I can just imagine how bored the players are. Let alone people who are sitting watching them play. But this was a very exciting morning. So it was because it was all over and done with by sort of lunchtime. So it'd be interesting to see what happens when it's a full day.

This weekend. Are you on this weekend? Yeah, on Saturday, I think. Yeah, full day. We'll see how that goes down. Full day of cricket commentary. Yeah, I'll come with some one-liners and see if they go down better.

The podcast today had a fun show, a fun program. Talked to people who had jobs that you didn't even know existed. And a gentleman folding letters. Folding letters when the entire time there was a machine there that could do the job for him

He joins us, you have a great, great day The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast I had to panic purchase something online yesterday for an event that I'd forgotten was taking place, a birthday And so you go online and you're like, what are my options? What have I got? Flowers And then I stumbled across, you might be interested in gift baskets. Oh, yes, I am. It's exactly what I need in this ninth hour.

And so I went over to the gift baskets, and I bought a gift basket. But the gift basket, people, this is like a basket full of chocolates and weird chutneys. Yeah, it's always some sort of relishy thing. Strange chutneys in there. Yeah. You're right. A collection of all sorts of stuff.

Whoever buys chutney. I think anyone who's ever got chutney has just been gifted through a basket. Yeah, it lasts forever too, chutney. It does. It just sits in your cupboard for about 19 years. So I ended up buying this basket. But then I was like, what is the retail value of all this stuff in the basket And jeez they're having a laugh

Really The gift basket people are having a laugh All they have done is they've preyed on my disorganisation And I'm getting penalised for it With some sort of fee They've just gone down to Pack and Save Picked up a couple of chocolate bars Random chutneys

You're right If you've got all that stuff individually If you pay pay for it, it'd be a lot less. But they know that. They know that. You could do that. They're not saying you have to buy from them. No, no. But you're in a desperate panic.

You're like, I've got to do this. And always the most bizarre crackers. You're like, where are these crackers from? Do you find that? And sometimes with a teddy bear. Sometimes they often come up with a little teddy bear. You're like, do you want to add the teddy bear? You're like, oh, do I?

So for them basically putting items in a basket and wrapping some cellophane around it, you're paying another $100. Yeah. It's good. What a business. Good business model, isn't it? Yeah.

There's a chocolate one, isn't there? It's like a young girl's celebration bar. They look amazing, don't they? I know, I know. You're jealous when people get them. You're like, wow, that's awesome. Similar vibes though. You're like, oh my gosh, I could just go to the supermarket and buy all this.

But that's the society we live in. I know. We've become so lazy. I know. I know a guy who lived next door to Hell Pizza and he would order delivery to his house. That's just where we are as a society. We can't be arsed doing anything. And then when it takes, like, two seconds to log on to the website

and there's a delay with the Wi-Fi. Come on, though, dude. We're impatient and we're lazy. It's a bad combo now. Three seconds, you've lost someone on a TikTok video nowadays. They're gone. You're like, mate, we've lost someone on a TikTok video nowadays. They're gone. You're like, mate, we've brought our heart and soul into this five minute sketch. Don't like it. Don't like their ugly bald

face. Get them out of here. Scroll on to the next one. And move on. It's Pink Willow Hearts. It is the hits. Jono and Ben, 11 past 6 on your Thursday. Scrolling through your feed. Breaking news, broken news, news on the mend. We've got it all. What's happening, Ben?

Well, cases are growing. The Omicron outbreak, 3,000, sorry, 297 yesterday. But I reckon many more infections have been missed. Long waits at lines around, particularly in Auckland. So now, as of today, just rats tests when you go and wait at those basically they're not going to do the PCR test they're going to do rats tests in Auckland and it will move the same around the country. Yeah, right.

I saw an interview with the lady from the laboratory and she's like, we can't do this. We're going to give up. And so I was like, what, is it just stopped now? So all those people who are waiting on tests, they're like, ah, we're done. Let's go, shut the doors. And it feels like we could have been a little bit more prepared for this.

I don't know if I'm the only one who feels that way. Probably not the lab tests, but with everything else, it felt like the government knew it was coming. I think there were people waiting in lines for five hours and they'd get to the front and they're like, here's a rat test, take it home. People are like, what have I been waiting for?

Why couldn't you just walk down the line and hand out rat tests? Getting overwhelmed is at the moment, so you do kind of feel for them. And Dunedin, there's a few positive cases going around, particularly with students, and police have stopped what was going to happen with some

students, a COVID positive party. They were going to have a flat where they were like, hey, if you've got COVID, come along, we can at least party together if we can't see everyone else. Police have said it's a stupid idea. I'm surprised that these future doctors and lawyers didn't figure out it was a stupid idea. I can kind of, in some ways, I can kind of see the logic. You know, they've already got COVID.

We're going down already. But then the fact that they're moving about the community is not a good idea because they're all going towards one location. There was a wonderful interview with four girls and I just thought of you, Juliet. They're in their flat and they're on Castle Street and they're being interviewed by the reporter, but they're on their phone, obviously, and the reporter was on the street and they're like,

we've just been watching Gossip Girl! And, you know, in 10 days' time it'll be sweeter and we'll be able to party again. That's what I was like Is that your reputation of someone like me? No you speak No it's definitely It's how I talk about her

When I'm talking about Juliet I'm like Hey guys It's me And speaking of great interviews on the news Well this reporter He's gone viral now He's been reporting over there in the Ukraine And so this one guy

Has done six different reports in six different languages. His name is Philip Crowther and he works as a journalist over there. He did a report not only in English, but Luxembourgish, Spanish, Portuguese, French and German. Have a listen. There's been a war with Russian backed forces in the east, the Donbass region for eight years now. It's a incredible way. Do you know my favourite part of this is as the song's playing and you're getting Juliet to load that audio in,

you're like, edit him down a bit. We get it, mate. You can talk a lot of languages. That's literally what you said. We get it, mate. You can talk a lot of languages. That's literally what you said. We get it, mate. You can talk a lot of languages. Oh, no, it's impressive. But edit them down. We don't want too much. Well, even that, I edited it down from a minute and you couldn't last

the whole time. You had to talk over it. Yeah, because I was like, we get it, mate. I was like, at least give him his opportunity. It's had 13 million views around the world. Yeah, but we get it. We get it. We get a clip. Yeah, I'll talk over that.

Whatever you've got to say is more important, is it? Yeah. Now, I struggle to just speak one language. Yeah, it's impressive. Learning a whole raft of other languages. You did te reo, didn't you? Yeah, I did a bit of a night course last year. So you're fluent.

No, definitely not. But I'd like to. I'm starting on the journey towards it. I'd like to do some more this year as well. That was good commitment from you last year. So you're fluent? No, no, definitely not, but I'd like to. I'm starting on the journey towards it. I'd like to do some more this year as well. That was a good commitment from you too.

But yeah, we spoke to a lady once who could do 12 languages. Remember she phoned through? Oh yeah. She didn't do anything for us. We took her word for it. We get it, mate.

You can do it. Don't start rattling them off, mate. We get it. That is scrolling to your feed. Before 7 o'clock this morning, we talk to a Hollywood actor who's got some problems with New Zealand. He's not happy with our customs.

Not happy. We'll tell you why next. It's Jono and Ben, but FYI, Ben is open to other options. Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, I thought I knew everything about you, Jono, but apparently there's things you've been hiding from me. Now, as a commercial radio host, there's there's things you've been hiding from me. Now, as a commercial radio host, there's a few things you never want to hear.

First thing is do you remember what we got up to in the 90s? And you're like, oh dear God. Second one is, now Jono, can I just say something about you? And then the third one is I found something out about you.

So, it's one of the big three. What's happening? Well, just a quick little backstory. When we had our TV show, Jono and Ben, we had an idea that we ran past the lawyers at the time that was called Drunk Interviews, where we would turn up a little bit tipsy. We'd have a couple of drinks.

We weren't drinking on camera. And we'd turn up and we'd interview people. They'd be sober, but we'd interview celebrities in a hotel, you know, sort of boardroom. And that was the idea. And we're like, can we play this on TV? And the lawyers were like, yeah, yeah, you can. That'd be great.

And then after they saw the first one, once we'd recorded all six, they were like, no, there's no way you can play this on TV. It was, you know, it couldn't be any more authentic if we tried. Like I woke up the next morning going, I vaguely remember doing an interview yesterday. Like you're just it was wild. Yeah waking up on a Monday morning and having tequila

shots at 8 o'clock was not a great way to start the day. Yeah they were like okay you've got to get in the office by 8 and then our boss Bronnie's there with a bottle of like Pepe Lopez or something she's like shots and I'm like oh god what a way to wake up and then you're on the way that you're getting driven there and you're getting driven And you're like You're drinking beers

In peak hour traffic Oh my god Someone looks across Are you like It's little wonder It didn't get to audio You know What were we thinking

Exactly It was a stupid idea Like you were hungover By 11 in the morning Yeah it would really Throw the rest of your day out I had to do afternoon radio And try to sober up

Before afternoon radio Oh my god You're kidding We're like high performance Athletes of the worst kind Because as soon and try to sober up before i was like high performance athletes of the worst kind because as soon as we'd finished the interviews it was like here's the power right here's the pie here you go so here's a burger fuel burger and then you're like sort of stumble into radio and i remember the first time i thought because then you're trying really hard to not sound and you're like welcome, it's the edge. Welcome along, it's a show.

And yeah, that went to upper management. It did. So it was a silly idea all around, definitely didn't recommend it. But during one of the interviews, you ended up in,

you walked out, you just walked out and you ended up in some sort of car manufacturer's conference. It was the Range Rover conference. It was at a hotel. We were filming a hotel

and it was in the conference room next door. Just walked into their boardroom with cameras. With a camera. They all shut their laptops in a panic. Sensitive information, obviously. Because I think it was up on the screen. Well, I met someone who was in the conference over the weekend, and apparently you also

had a whiteboard, took out a pen and drew a very childish sort of image on the whiteboard as well. Really? And so this is the thing I never knew about. I'm sure maybe you don't even remember. Turns out I didn't either. Yeah. In the middle of a Range Rover conference. Oh my goodness. Here's your

figures for the rest of the year, guys. Dear God. I remember I kind of remember One of them I was like I need to go to the toilet And then I didn't come back I was with

You were sitting with Naz From The Bachelor For about half an hour I mean I'm like I've run out of questions And I was missing For 45 minutes Oh that was a shocking idea

Yeah very silly idea. That's a great idea. Oh, no. I hope that footage never sees the light of day. Well, it won't. The lawyer said it definitely couldn't. Hey, next on the show, there's a movie. It's been filmed in New Zealand.

It's really awesome. But one of the stars who joins us next has a problem with our customs. We'll tell you what it is after Fancy Like. It is the hits, Jono and Ben. Jono and Ben. There's a movie that was filmed in New Zealand last year It's going to be on Disney Plus tomorrow It's called No Exit We watched it, it was really intense but really awesome

People are trapped up a mountain in the middle of a blizzard And someone's kidnapped someone And they're trying to work out who in fact is the kidnapper So what's your name? Darby Sandy Ed I'm Ash Do you have the Wi-fi no there's no wi-fi i got one bar by the tree i'm gonna get you out of here okay promise yep definitely one for the family and joining us now from Los Angeles

is one of the actors you'll know I'm from 24 actually with Kiefer Sutherland the wonderful Dennis Haysbert How are you? I'm excellent, how are you? We're doing good now We're very very excited not only to be talking to you

but also the fact that you filmed this movie in New Zealand I mean this is the greatest day ever Oh man and what a great place you guys live in. I mean, at the time we were shooting this film, I think you had zero infection. Yeah, well, things have turned to custard now, Dennis.

You'll be happy to know. What's going on now? Well, you know. Bloody Omicron, mate. When did they tell you that you're coming to New Zealand? When did they drop that on you? They dropped that very early. It was one of the things that helped me make my decision to come.

I said, oh, we're going to shut down here. Not shut down there. Okay, let's go. So you were based here for quite a while, I imagine, or at least a few months. What's one thing we could be doing better in New Zealand? There must be something. Oh, oh, geez.

Let me see. Your customs. Oh, customs. Yeah, you try and bring an apple. What's one thing you could be doing better? It felt like I was waiting for some, you know, a package forever and actually never got it. Oh, really?

I can go to the post office and pick it up for you if you want. It'll probably take a year to get here. Yeah. The movie is awesome. It is very intense to watch, but that's really cool. A lot of thrilling action and horror. But do you like movies like that? Is that something that you enjoy not only acting in but also watching?

Yes. I love thrillers. I love anything that's kind of Twilight Zone-esque. I've never done one before. So this was unique for me. It was fun. I mean, it

actually looked cold. Yeah, and it wasn't even in New Zealand like outside. You were in a soundstage. Is that correct? We were on a soundstage, yeah. As a tribute to your crews there. Yeah. You guys have excellent crews. Yeah, we can make it look cold. If you want us to make it look cold, we'll do that.

Now, Dennis, something really interesting I found out about you is that you have meant to have had a game of golf with Tiger Woods on three different occasions. Every single time something happens and you don't end up playing golf with Tiger Woods. Right. Sometimes it was weather. Sometimes I was working. And sometimes it just didn't, for some reason, just did not work out. I have met him several times.

I would love to play a round of golf with him. And even more so, I'd love to play a round of golf with Charlie. Oh, yes. He is going to be a killer. And I can't wait to see where his career goes. Spoiler alert, probably both of them would beat you, I imagine. Yeah. You know what?

That would be a definite. Well, Dennis, lovely to talk to you. We're getting the message saying wrap it up, no new questions. So I won't ask you any more. I'll just say thank you for your time, and hopefully we'll get to talk to you soon. Hopefully. I message saying wrap it up no new questions so I won't ask you anymore I'll just say thank you for your time and hopefully we'll get to talk to you soon. Hopefully I would love it. It was awesome and you can catch the very thrilling intense movie

called No Exit on Disney Plus tomorrow Join us internet wormhole Yeah, Kanye West I ended up going Kanye South yesterday. I was waiting for that gag Were you? Oh dear dear Have I become that predictable? I don't know. We've got to that stage of a relationship. I was waiting for that gag. Were you? Oh, too bad. Have I become that predictable? I don't know.

We've got to that stage of our relationship. I think it's time for you to go. Okay. But you can never leave us. Anyway, Kanye West, last night I hear from my wife, uh-oh, and she said, Kanye's gone live on Instagram. And I thought, oh, this is going to be amazing.

He's going to unload on Pete Davidson and Kim Kardashian, which he's been doing over the last four weeks. And no, he was just live streaming an event that he was. It was like a concert or something. His new album. Yeah, yeah. But the camera work was very shoddy. It was like you had given the phone to me and like, hey, here, run this.

How many people are watching this? Only a couple. It was like 13 million people. Oh, my goodness. Yeah, big live stream. But some interesting facts about Kanye that I got lost on the internet looking at. Did you know that he was a telemarketer before a rapper? No.

And he was selling insurance to people on the phone. Then he thought rap or music was never going to work out, and he seriously considered a career in pornography. Oh, really? Really. Which is actually my fallback option. If this goes south, just so you know. Let's hope that radio never doesn't work out for you.

Kanye West, he sponsors a race car in the Formula BMW World Series in Europe. He just thought that would be something fun to do. He doesn't like racing cars. Kanye, I think, to do. Mentioned before, cars. He's just doing it for the sake of it. Just a car thing to do. Mentioned before, owns 10 Burger King franchises in Europe. That is so cool.

That is such a flex. Apparently he came back from touring through Europe, and he's like, damn, they love burgers over there. So then he thought, well, this is a good investment. Well, it's actually interesting, because on the doco that's on Netflix, speaking of Burger King, when he finally, because he's hustling trying to get, he's an amazing producer, but he wants to be a rapper. And no one's sort of taking him seriously as a rapper so he's

working really hard for years and years he finally gets the record deal and they celebrate at burger king so maybe it has significance for him they're sitting there the night before that was the celebration at the time now i'm sure he's buying bob he's buying burger he's got 10 of them yeah he's got 10 of them uh he also started, recently actually, he started a travel agency, which was Kanye's Travel Ventures. Oh, really? And it turns out Kanye's, I can't imagine Kanye organizing my itinerary. You know, I'm like, I'm stuck in Madrid, Spain, mate.

You haven't booked the hotel. You know, he wouldn't have put you on the bus tour. I think it would be a very disorganized travel company. And it went broke. It failed shortly after. Kanye Travel Ventures sounds like a wonderful tax write-off, actually. Another thing, Kanye knows

Mandarin. Lived in China. China. Really? His mother was a teacher, and I think she was actually the first female and black female teacher of English in Chicago University. Yeah, she's on the doco as well. Donda.

Yeah, and the amazing relationship they have as well. And she's very, very clever. You're a very smart lady, yeah. Yeah. And Kanye West. What else have we got? No, they all sort of fade out

after that. It's nothing like that. It's not. Nothing else interesting about Kanye. Yeah, no. He had a big accident. Do you know about that?

Oh, he had his jaw shut. He had his jaw wide shut. He did one of his first songs called Through the Wire when he had his jaw wide shut. It was almost a fatal accident that he had. Wow. That's interesting. I shouldn't have missed that one.

Yeah, that's quite interesting. He's been arrested three times, and all three times involving the paparazzi. Oh, really? Yeah, he has a tumultuous relationship with them. An arrest is good for your cred, isn't it? Well, I guess depending on what the crime is. Well, yeah, exactly.

Some crime's probably not so good for your cred. No, some of them are very bad for your cred. Hey, that's all the information you needed to know on Kanye West. We've got Spy up next, Ju. Does Kate Middleton want to have a fourth child and does William as well? We'll talk about this next. Right now though, L.A.B.,

it is the hits. You've got Jono and Ben. Spy. Know what's up. Spy.co.nz And over to the Spy, Senorita. Juliet, what's happening?

So, Kate Middleton is itching to have a fourth child, but Prince William isn't so keen. So one of her most recent, what would you call it, engagements as a royal was going and she was hanging around a lot of children and she was talking to someone there saying it makes her very broody, which I assume means clucky. She said, William always worries about me meeting under one year olds. I always come home saying, let's have another one.

But he has said in the past, you know, don't give my wife any ideas whenever any cute kids are around her. Right, yeah. So she wants a four. He's like, we can't upgrade to a minivan. I would love that. You know, you'd be getting the bongo van, wouldn't you? Yeah, you would. You'd have to go to a people mover or whatever they're called.

Yeah. But the biggest jump apparently is from one to two. Really? Once you've made that leap, you're just adding numbers. And it's just chaos from there, probably. Yeah, you're right. No matter what. Yeah, I would love them to have a fourth child.

I really wanted them to have another girl, so Charlotte wasn't like the only girl. Yeah, but you're not the one who's William. He's not. William's getting up at three in the morning. It's easy for you to say over here. Although, to be fair, he's probably got a lot of help I imagine.

You know like people that True they've got nannies and everything. I mean he's got nannies getting up at three in the morning. He's doing a ton. He's doing a ton.

Well they do make good looking children don't they? They very much do. So Georgie's gonna be the king. Georgie's gonna be the king. So it'll go Charles

William George That's the line. And then it goes I think it's Charlotte next and then Louis and then old mate Harry but then obviously

if George is at the age where he has kids then obviously Charlotte and that won't be yes yeah so they get bumped down after George has kids so William's gonna do

a good stint isn't he yeah I think he will yeah people are kind of thinking it should just go from the Queen to William and it should just

jump Charles. Charles has been hanging around for this for ages. That's the only reason he's there. I know, I know. The Queen, though, she's got COVID, but it doesn't sound like it's that grey over there, you know? I know, I know. She's been doing a lot of sort of virtual meetings and things like that

because she can't be in person with people. And Dave Grohl is opening up about the hearing loss he's had over the years of being a rock star. He has had basically hearing loss for the last 20 years and he's been reading lips. That's how he communicates with people. He just stares at people's lips to understand what they're saying.

And in restaurants it's a lot worse. And now he says because of the pandemic everyone's wearing masks. So he's like, screw it. It's impossible. I'm the same. Really? Just three headphones from radio over 20 years. I'm very deaf. Like, let's play a game, okay?

I'll shut my ears off. You say something, Ben, and I'll try and read those sweet lips of yours, okay? I can't hear you. Quite balding. Go again? You're quite balding. You're quite haul-y. How close?

Go again? You're quite balding. You're quite, I can't get that. Bullard. There we go. Just trying to play a fun game.

Bit of fun game, bit of workplace bullying there. Okay. You didn't hear it. You didn't hear it. I can't prove it. And that is your

SPAR Entertainment update for this hour. For more you can head to the hits.co.nz After 7 o'clock on the show we're playing something called

You Wouldn't Read About It if you've got a story, an unbelievable story that's happened to you and you think that we couldn't read about it on the

internet, you're the only person that it's ever happened to give us a call on 0800 THE HITS and if we can't read about it you'll win that's after 7

Tested safe for listing from home Jono and Ben on The Hits You Wouldn't Read About It is something we like to do you tell us an unbelievable story to seven tested safe for listing from home jono and ben on the hits you wouldn't read about it as something we like to do you tell us an unbelievable story that happened to you we google it and if we can't read about it you win big good morning blair morning jono and ben great to have you on the show this morning now we understand this took place uh where you work that's correct yep that was at a store called ocean hunter, which is an exclusive spearfishing store in downtown Auckland,

which has now apparently moved out to Albany. Yeah, I've seen downtown Auckland for a spearfishing shop, seems unusual location. Yeah, you know, maybe at the ports of Tauranga by the beach or something. But anyway. Wandering back up Queen Street with a giant speargun. Yeah. Okay, so you're working there, and then what happened?

Okay, so basically we'd linked out a spare gun to a customer on a lease basis, and on his return, it came back, and it looked like it'd been dipped in acid. So I was a little bit skeptical that it could even be used again. And currently at the time, I had a friend in the store, and I've done this a thousand times before. You wouldn't read about it, but I had it on my hip just testing the rubbers, pulling them back, making sure they weren't going to snap. And at the same time I was doing that, the back of the gun flipped off my hip

and it rotated with about 220 pounds of pressure, which forced the spear shaft through my wrist towards the back of my knuckles. So you've shot yourself with a spear gun in the spear gun shop. I hadn't really noticed at that point because I'd passed out on the ground. So you actually got yourself on the floor. Yeah, I mean, it's collateral when you work at a spear gun shop. It's going to happen one day. And so what's the customer doing once he's just seen you spear?

The worst part was, this guy was the editor of the New Zealand Spear Fishing Magazine at the time, John O'Harding. And I remember him, his face was, when I came through his face was so white. And I go to him, have you called the ambulance? Or what have you done? And he goes, nothing, but you've handled the pain really well.

I was like, wasn't I passed out? He goes, oh no, you're completely gone. So what do they do in that situation? Like they have to get the spear out or did it come through the other side? The next thing I remember was waking up and it was like a movie. It was a nurse and a fireman running through the door of the store. And then the next thing I remembered was her administering something in my ankle, which made me like la la.

And then the fireman, he was so funny. I remembered was her administering something in my ankle, which made me like la la. And then the fireman, he was so funny. He put his little hat over my head, puts his jacket around me and he goes, now I'm just going to go outside and count to three. I'm like, well, what are you doing? He goes, I'm going to snap the spear. And he had that already geared up. I wasn't aware of it, but he'd geared up a little mini jaws of life thing around the spear. So they go around the corner of the shop and go, three, two, one, next minute snap, and you felt every part of your body, every bone go click.

It's like one minute. Oh, my gosh. I know. Why is he hiding you in a jacket and a fireman's hat? I know. I was just so worried. I was like, why is everyone leaving? He's like, well, I don't know where that spear's going to go.

When you heard the words, I'm going to snap the spear out, did you run through your mind, shall I just live with this in me? Is it part of me now? Yeah. Honestly, I wanted to at that point. It was so bad. So we want to find out now if you wouldn't read about it. What are you going to type into Google, John?

Okay, so man, employee shoots himself with spear gun in spearfishing shop. Now, if this doesn't pop up and we don't read about it you win big in spear fishing shop nah man shot with spear gun by accident but that was by his friend in the ocean imagine that could happen from time to time South African priest impales himself

on a spear gun but not in the store not a spear gun employee shooting himself at the spear gun shop. You wouldn't read about it, Blair. Jeez. He got damaged? Any long-lasting damage from that? Amazing thing is, you know, they left it in my arm for about nine hours,

went from Auckland Hospital to Middlemore, because that's where they obviously the hand and wrist surgery get done. And when they eventually wheeled me into the A&E room, I just remember that I'd passed out because I was on drugs and they had forgotten about me. Instead of putting me through into the actual wards, they had left me in the normal A&E room. And my brother-in-law came in and he just found me

with my head down, completely slumped. In the waiting room of the A&E? In the waiting room. With a spear hanging out of you? Yeah, all of a sudden, nurses, I've still got half the spear in my arm. All these nurses came out, got me in, and were like, oops, that was a bit of a mistake. Oh, jeez.

I mean, what a wild day. Yeah. Wild day, mate, wild day. One to forget. Well, Blair, thank you so much for being part of the show. We appreciate it. We're going to send you out a whole bunch of hell pizza, all right, mate? Awesome, guys. Just what my of the show. We appreciate it. We're going to send you out a whole bunch of hell pizza, all right, mate? Awesome, guys.

Just what my fat guts need. Thanks, Claire. The sure weather masks make them look a whole lot better. John Owen Behan on the hits. Over 3,000 cases yesterday in New Zealand and long lines at testing centres around, particularly in Auckland, and now rats tests are going to be the norm. They are going to be the norm. And Poppy, my

daughter, she was sent home as a close contact. I think that's just becoming quite common nowadays, isn't it? And she couldn't be more ecstatic about it. Well, I know there's a lot of genuine concern from her and her classmates obviously, because it's wild time for these kids. It's going to have a really

long-lasting effect on them. It's going to shape a generation. There'll be a time 10 or 15 years down the track where everyone's probably wearing masks and we'll be regaling tales to our grandchildren. I don't know why I'm having grandkids in 15 years. I remember when we used to be able to see 100% of everyone's face. Well, you look at a movie.

We were watching one with the kids the other night and just seeing a plane scene and the kids are like, no masks. No one's wearing masks. And that's a movie from like a few years ago. There was an area you could smoke ciggies on a plane, too. I know. It was a fun time. I've seen that in movies, too. Why did no one

go, is this a fire hazard? Yeah. And surely this is the smoking section. Is the smoke going to go into the non-smoking section? times wild times a better time too a better time i feel a bit uh but rat tests is something that are a lot more common everyone in auckland that gets a test right now is going to be taking them and we got to take one for the first time uh before work and we got sent out instructions we got sent out a link and i watched the video link and i kept banging on yesterday about how far you had to stick the rat test in your nose and you guys are all like oh okay i was

like no but it's so far like my eyes were watering i was sneezing it was so far and you guys all looked at me like what's he doing why is he doing this wasn't that bad yeah it was from the instructional video now you won't obviously see the instructions here, but this was the nice man telling it. When ready, insert a sterile swab into the patient's nostril and swab the surface of the posterior nasal pharynx. Oh, that sounds hot. Yeah. So in the video, they've got a little, you know. Diagram?

Yeah, diagram. And right in, the thing goes and bounces off the back of the brain and bounces back again. So I showed you, Juliet, you're like, wow. And so I followed this. You gave yourself a frontal lobotomy. And then found out last night

we got sent a new link going, oh, sorry guys, from our boss. That was the wrong link. That was the wrong link. Now, here is where I always knew this was going to happen. Ben's conscientiousness. He does everything to the letter.

It was going to get you in trouble one day. Yeah. And apologies, wrong link. And it was a fatal video to see. 24 hours later, that was like, oh, sorry, guys. Sorry about that. I'd already done. The damage has been done.

He was the victim of a stick-up right up to the top of his nose. The rest of us just read the paper that the rat test came with. Yeah, and I only said, like, only put it up two centimetres. So we were like, wow, okay. I'm really, like, sticking it right back in there. You know what I love about rat tests now is they have become the new drugs. Everyone's like, did you hear, Paul? I can get you some rat tests.

There was a time we were wanting to buy stuff and put other stuff up our nose, but now it's just a stick to get a rat test. And they are like those black market ones. You can buy anything. Oh, it's like the masks, the KN95 masks. It's the same thing. It's like, oh, you want to buy it? You see someone down an alleyway.

I'm meeting a shady guy down an alleyway after work to get some rat tests. Yes, I'd say it's a time, isn't it? It's a wild time. You've got to have your masks on. Mas say it's a time, isn't it? It's a wild time. Got to have your masks on. Masks have become like trousers, haven't they? Once upon a time, it was fine to wander around without any trousers. Was it? Was it?

Well, not in our lifetime. In history. Right. There was a time where you wandered around with trousers. Now it's frowned upon by society. I know that. Sorry, HR had to talk to you About that

It's the same with masks Now you don't have a mask on Society frowns upon you Throughout the month of February We're doing 28 good deeds In 28 days Only four to go Not that you're counting

Or anything But it has been awesome I've been counting From the first one Spreading a lot of joy And doing some lovely things for some amazing New Zealanders. Next to the warehouse, they gave us a couple of $500 vouchers

that we could surprise some shoppers buying back-to-school items with. Especially with masks. They're $75 for a pack of 100. It's compulsory. What do I do if I can't afford the mask? I'm glad we could help you. Thank you. Thank you so much.

This morning, we're delivering papers for the New Zealand Herald. Yeah, the only people who are up and about right now are people just stumbling out of bars, vagrants. Hey? Kylie texted her and we thought we'd give her a call back. Well, she was in the middle of a meeting. Hi. We need to give Kylie enough money for the week to pay for her supermarket shopping. Oh, how cool.

Outstanding. Wow. Jeez, it cool! Outstanding. Wow. Jeez, it makes us look good when we put it in a montage. It does. Chuck some of that emotional music behind it. Wow. Wrap that up in a box and, wow, you look like a great guy, Ben. So many people texting through at the moment,

suggestions of things we can do to help. Yeah, 4487 if you've got a good deed for us to do. But we're going to go through to Helen this morning. Hello? Morning. Morning. Hey, it's Jono Ben calling here. Hello. Sorry, that was a bit of a weird thing. Funny you picked it up just from

Jono's weird morning. I phone Helen every morning. It's like an alarm for her. How are you, Helen? I'm morning. I phone Helen every morning. Yeah, it's like an alarm for her. How are you, Helen? I'm okay. I'm working at home, but I'm okay. Oh, you're okay. Sounds like you've had a bit of a rough couple of weeks.

I have, yes. Yeah, we're getting there. Oh, you're really sorry to hear about your dad passing away in the UK? Well, yeah, it's my husband's dad, but he's like my dad as well, so yeah. Yeah, but you're flying over there on the weekend, we understand? Yeah, we've just got the details yesterday, so everything's got to be paid today, kind of thing, to fly Saturday morning.

Oh, this is, and it would be costing a bucket load. Yes, yes, because it's everything. You know, you've got to live there, but you've got to live here as well because everything's got to carry on here. Yeah, yeah. Well, listen, we're doing 28 good deeds over 28 days, Helen. Yeah, yeah. And we want to give you $1,000 towards any costs that you need to cover.

Oh, that would be so helpful, so grateful. I really, I don't know what to say. It's like, wow, that means so much. It would help accommodation, everything for us outside. Oh yeah. Wow. It's our pleasure to do that for you because obviously as John said there's a lot you're having to deal

with right now so hopefully this goes towards something. It will. It will go so far and take so much pressure off just to help us with a bit of relief from some of the bills Thank you That's absolutely fine

we're just doing it to make ourselves feel better But hopefully it makes you feel better at the same time It does I mean, my husband we listen to you every day and it's like there's so many people out there that need help, but you guys help so many people as well.

It's so good, the good you do for people. Oh, well thank you. You're really painting us out to be far better than... I think Helen thinks she's listening to another show, but that's fine. Don't tell her any different. Oh, Helen, thank you so much for listening. Our condolences to

a really difficult time and a terrible time To have to travel across the world at the moment as well But we hope that goes some way Towards easing costs Thank you very much Take care of yourself, alright Five words for 5k You're just five words away from $5,000

It is our game of word association We play it every morning at this time on The Hits We tell you five words, you tell us what pops into your head, and if they match up, all five with ours, you win five grand. It's kind of like word speed dating, isn't it? Yeah. Without any of the hanky-panky business. We'll get Vienna on from Auckland.

How are you? Hi, I'm good. Now, were you consummated in Austria? Actually, my mum was pregnant when she visited Austria. Oh, that's why you're called Vienna. That's cool. Yes. That's beautiful. Beautiful stuff. Now, Vienna,

what are you going to spend $5,000 on? Probably spend some on bills and take my two children away. Oh, where are you going to take them to? I don't know yet. It depends if I win. Oh, where were you going to take them to? I don't know yet. It depends if I win. Yeah, true.

Let's not get too far ahead. Let's not start ringing the travel agents or anything, Vienna. Well, hopefully you'll be doing it after this. Who do you want to send into the soundproof booth? Ben. Oh, okay. Don't trust me. Fair enough.

Ben's heading into the soundproof booth. Vienna, this is just like Lotto, but except for winning $5 million, you can win $5,000. Budget Lotto, we like to call it. You've listened to the game before, you know how it works? Oh, yes.

Yeah, first word that comes into your head when I say Tweety. Tweety. Bird. Tweety bird. Yep, bird. Good option. Word number two, black caps.

Black caps. Cricket. Good option. Word number two, black caps. Black caps? Cricket? Cricket. You're smashing it out of the park. To coin a phrase there, Vienna. Broom is the third word this morning. Broom. That is hard.

Can I come back to that, please? Yeah, no worries. Can I just say you've got an adorable voice, isn't it? Yeah, she does. It's a lovely voice. Yeah, the most adorable voice we've ever had on this show. Better than our nasally tones every morning. Vienna, maybe you should come and host this program.

University, the fourth word for you this morning. Student. University student, great. Lotion. Oh. Lotion. Oh. Lotion. Hand. Hand lotion.

Nice. And we'll just loop back around. Word number three, broom, you wanted to come back to. What are you going to say for that? So is it broom, B-R-O-O-M? Yes. Sweep? Sweep?

Oh, wait, wait. Can I change it? Yeah. Broomstick? Broomstick. Oh, I didn't even think of that. There we go. Let's get Boyce out of the SPB. How was the booth this morning in there?

Alone with your dark thoughts? It was all right. It was all right. What were you worried about? Whenever Ben's alone, he can't not have a device or be typing. He just starts thinking about stuff. What were you thinking about in there, mate? No, look, let's not go inside my mind.

Let's not think about the door handles, hygiene and stuff like that. Let's just play the game. Alright, let's match your five words with Vienna. She played a really good game too, by the way. First word. Tweety. Bird. Yeah. There we go, easy win there.

Second word this morning is Black Caps. Something close to your heart. What a great word. Cricket. Ben loves cricket, Vienna. To the point where he got to commentate his first game over the weekend. Dream come true. Dream come true. To the point where he got to commentate his first game over the weekend. Dream come true. On the ACC.

Was it your dream to talk about stuff like you did on the ACC? Not all of it. More just cricket focused. I was definitely more cricket focused. He's almost fulfilled his dream. A third word this morning is broom. What do you want to say to broom?

Sweep. Oh dear. She said sweep. Third word this morning is broom. What do you want to say to broom? Sweep. Oh! Oh, dear. She said sweep. Oh! Locked in stick. Oh, that's a good one.

Oh, sorry. We'll go into university was the fourth. Student. Oh, God. Vienna, you don't want him to get this last one, do you? I know, right? Lotion. The fifth and final word, lotion. Vienna, you don't want him to get this last one, do you? I know, right? Lotion. The fifth and final word, lotion. Cream.

Hands. Hand lotion for Vienna. It's all right. Well, thank God you didn't call the travel agent, Vienna. Oh, it's all right. Have a good day, you two. You too, mate. And Juliet.

Oh, thank you. Oh, you're a wonderful too, mate. And Juliet. Oh, thank you. Oh, you're a wonderful listener, Vienna. You keep safe. You hold there. We'll send you out some hell pizza, okay? Oh, cool. Thank you. See you, Vienna.

Another chance to play tomorrow, but we've got some spy on the way. Yeah, Elton John's private jet failed when he was in it, but he's still landing, as we could say. I got that off the internet. I don't claim it as my own because I'm too lame to say that. Love it. More on that next. Now to our hourly attempts to smear some celebrity reputations.

Chew, what's happening in Spa? So Elton John has been left a bit shaken after his private jet suffered a mid-air emergency. So he was on his way to New York from the UK to do a show and about an hour into the trip the plane suffered what's called hydraulic failure which basically messes up the steering, makes it really hard for the pilot to steer the aircraft. Makes it thrilling though. Oh my goodness, terrifying. And so they tried to land the plane in Ireland twice, but then there were storms going around in Ireland, so the winds were far too strong for the plane to even land.

So then afterwards the pilot flagged air traffic to call for an emergency landing. And once this happened, there were six fire trucks waiting, as well as ambulances and police, as well as a crowd once word got out that it was actually Elton John that was on the plane. So they'd all come to see Elton perish? I know, that's so sad. There's a tsunami coming. Don't go to the beach.

All I want to do is go to the beach. If I hear Elton John's in a plane that's going down. I know, I know. Well, it's good that nothing bad happened then. Yes, totally. There is footage. Someone, one of the people in the crowd was filming it as it landed. It looks, you know, when you think of a plane making an emergency landing,

you think it looks horrible, but it does actually look like a plane's just descending and landing. It doesn't look as dramatic as you probably think. I reckon pilots would love that sort of stuff. Do you know? They're kind of like when we go and do bungee jumping for radio and they're like, mate, we haven't tied it on properly and all that stuff. The thrill of it.

Like if it's something that you do every day as a pilot. Yeah. You know, like when I take this show off air when I'm pushing the buttons. The thrill of it. Yeah, it's the thrill of it. It happens. Mistakes happen, but you pull it back, don't you? And that'd be the same with pilots.

Yeah, that's true. But you'd probably be glad that you've done it alive. You've made it out alive. Especially without John at the back, right? Yeah. Denzel Washington landed a plane on the Hudson River. Yeah, that was in a movie, but that was, yeah. Or was it Tom Hanks?

Oh, no, was it Tom Hanks? Yeah. What did Denzel, he did? He was in a plane movie as well, too. A wild plane movie, wasn't he? Was that Snakes on a Plane? No, no, that was Samuel L. Jackson. We're getting a lot of plane movies confused here, guys.

Oh, sorry. I need to... There's been a lot of plane movies. A lot of plane movies. Are you kidding? We could not have messed up any more plane movies. No, you're right. Tom Hanks' one was based on a true story.

He was Hudson's brother. Yeah, Denzel Washington. It was a true story. Yeah, yeah. I don't know if it was true, but he was on drugs at the time of when he landed and stuff. And he was, yeah, and they found out anyway. And then it was, okay, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. And then Top Gun.

Oh, gee, stop, stop. Tom Cruise, he did some stuff. Yeah, he did. So, thank God, Elton is okay. He then took a commercial flight back to the US and made it there safely a couple hours later. Still did a show. Should have taken the rocket, wouldn't he? The rocket man.

Oh, he didn't do that. Oh, dear God of hours later. Still did the show. Should have taken the rocket, wouldn't he? The rocket man. Oh, he didn't do that. Elon Musk. And Tom Holland, obviously, he plays Spider-Man. There is a lot of news about Tom Holland recently, but he's obviously marketing Spider-Man very well. He reveals that one of the Spider-Man actors wore a fake butt under their Spider-Man costume and he won't say who it is.

Oh, so one of the other ones. One of the other actors. Toby McGuire or Andrew Garfield. One of them two wore a fake butt. And he saw him sort of put it on underneath the costume. He was like, hold up. What is going on here? And yeah, so he wears a fake butt, one of them.

And now the internet has got theories of who it could be. Well, yeah, it's a tight suit. You want your butt. Who's got the best butt in this show. You're not part of this. You're eliminated. Guys, wrap it up. After the plane shit,

I think we couldn't get worse, but we could. My vote's for Ben. Okay. That is your Spiderman update for this hour. It was a bit of a shambles. After eight o'clock on the show, we're talking jobs that you don't even think exist. Well, there's one that's involving the testing that's going on at the moment, and you wouldn't have even thought that that had to take place.

Right now it's the black eyed peas and that's it. I gotta feel it. You're essential listening for non-essential banter. Jono and Ben on the hits We're talking this morning on 0800 the hits Jobs you didn't even know existed Just seeing on the news the other night About the long lines at testing stations

They were saying not only do they have to take the swabs But then they have to hand all the tests to couriers Which happen to arrive regularly throughout the day You don't even think about the couriers Having to take them off to the labs I just thought it was someone doing a taste test in the tent, figuring it out sample by sample. But of course.

So courier drivers transporting the samples from A to B into the lab. We put a lot of unnecessary stress on courier drivers, don't we? It feels like an industry that every day, they're like, oh, geez, the courier drivers are under the pump. They're under it.

But they're always in a good mood. Yeah, they are. For people who are stuck in traffic all day and dealing with frustrated customers. But does that mean that your COVID sample is traveling next to Juliet's ASOS dress that she's ordered online? Yeah, it could be. Yeah, right. Hey, mate. Next door.

A job you didn't even know existed. The courier driver's dropping the samples. That's why we wanted to open up this morning is are you doing a job or have you done a job that no one would know about? Kaya, what was it for you? I was working at the regional council and I was folding hundreds of letters. How many letters a day were you folding? Probably a few hundred.

So those letters, obviously, the council send out on a daily basis for all sorts of stuff. Is it one of those ones you fold into thirds to fit in the envelope? Yes. How many hours a day were you folding envelopes for the council? I was doing it like normal day, day like eight to five. Yeah, a bit dry. Yeah, you'd want to

have to keep that moisturising up, wouldn't you? Yeah, and then I found out that they've got a machine that does it. What? Why did they

tell you that? They're like, two years into the job, they're like, by the way, we've had a machine sitting right next to you the whole time.

They could have been doing that. We just liked watching you do it. He's still going. So you'd send out all the water bills and the rates and things like that. Yeah. You don't think about how they

get in envelopes. And you would have thought a machine would do it, and it turns out it could. But they made Kai do it. With his bare hands. Off a sweepstake. How long do you reckon Kai's going to keep going on this? I reckon two weeks. What was the straw that broke the camel's back? Why'd you leave the job?

Found something else. Yeah, found something else that wasn't folding 500 letters a day. Now, when you handed in your resignation, was it on a letter or not? Jeez, you must have been able to fold the crap out of letters, though. Yeah, I can. Yeah, You'd be getting them perfect thirds Do you run the nail down to get that fine crease? Yeah, and then sometimes if it's wonky Then I unfold it and put it in the envelope

And you can see the wonky line if I stuff it up Yeah, you're not happy with that You're like a beauty I mean, what was a more tedious job? You folding 500 envelopes in a day Or Ben what okay what was a more tedious job you folding uh you know 500 envelopes in a day or ben boyce working in a plug factory which he did which he did assembling plugs yeah the parts to plugs not even the whole plug i had a quota when i was working there just did it for a summer did you have a quota of how many letters you had to fold in an hour no no no just

let him leave him to his own devices, a machine could be doing this. With double the workload. But anyway. Oh, I love your call, mate. Thank you so much for sharing that with us. Jono and Ben. We're talking about jobs that we didn't even know existed. Holly, how are you?

Hi, good, thank you. You do a job that we didn't even know existed. What was it? I was a pasty crimper. A pasty crimper. A pasty crimper. A crimper of pasty. So explain what that is. So it was a summer job back home in England in Cornwall, which is the home of the Cornish pasty.

Oh, it's like a pie. No, okay, it's not like a pie. What is it like? Explain what it is. So I suppose you could kind of say's not like a pie. What is it like? Explain what it is. So I suppose you could say, you could kind of say it's like a pie because it's pastry with a filling inside. Well, you just did it.

I did. You were like, meh. Well, yes, but you know, if you were in Cornwall and you said, oh, it's a pie, you know. Oh, they wouldn't like that. Okay. No, not at all.

Because I'm looking at it right now on the internet and I can't think of anything else it looks like apart from a pie. It kind of looks like the back of a stegosaurus, like a pie shaped to the back of a... Oh, that's a better example. But a pie shaped like that. Now, if you say, Holly, if you say the stegosaurus example is better than the pie example...

Well, probably. But it's a pie shaped like that. It's like an empanada. Have you had an empanada before? Don't throw another thing into the mix here Juliet So what was crimping? What did you have to do when you were crimping a pasty? So your pasty is like a

Semi-circle shape and the crimp is Pastry is a circle When you're making it and you put your Filling in the middle and then you Fold it in half And so around the edge, the crimp is basically where the edge joins together. Oh, right. It's just a special way of folding it, but it makes a really quite a thick crust.

So you crimp walked your way to work and crimped the pasties. Well, there we go, Holly. So another example is it kind of looks like a bolognese. A bolognese? What do you mean a bolognese? What? like a bolognese. A bolognese? What do you mean a bolognese? What? A pie was your best example, but it's like a half pie in a moon shape with

a stegosaurus roof. Like a roast dinner. No. Stop saying stuff. Hey, thanks Holly. Have a great day. We've also got Paul. Paul, you had an unusual job that we didn't know about. Yeah, well, I did do it. It was probably really about 15 years ago now.

I made lubricant, huge amounts of it, for AB Technicians. Oh, okay. So, yeah, you were really stalling on the lubricant line. I was like, where's he going? And so you would do it for the artificial insemination? Yeah, exactly, exactly. I was lucky enough to score a job at Livestock Improvement there. I worked in the store there. And one of my first jobs was to make lubricant. So how is lubricant made? Is there a secret family recipe that's been passed down from generations?

Or, yeah, don't go into too much detail, but how do you make it? Exactly. Well, I suppose the secret is up there with the KFC recipe, I suppose. Oh, is it? Okay. Yeah, so basically I had that process down pat. Did you have the slipperiest lube in the market? Yeah, exactly. And the reason why I wanted to do such a good job

was because I wanted to make sure that when the AB technician put their arm in, they're going to get it back. And that's a guarantee that Paul's going to give you. And actually, it was interesting that I had to share. I now work in IT, and I work at local government, council, and they had a careers day. So they were asking staff, hey, we've got some youth coming through.

It's just starting out on their career path, and we thought it would be interesting to ask staff to share their experiences from past jobs. And I'm fortunate for them. You want to go there? Best lube chef in the game. He used to be. He's retired now. Retired. When you come back, I said I wouldn't come back and make another vat.

Thank you so much. Has it helped you in any other areas of your life? We'll get into that later the annoying ones talking between the songs jono and ben on the hits a couple of moments uh last night with my uh with my daughters that it makes you realize yeah times have moved on and probably for the better one started when i was showing them a photo book. And, you know, like that, even saying I have a book full of photos. Are they like, where's all the likes and comments? Yeah. It was quite funny watching every now and again

that sort of used their little fingers and going to do that sort of pinch technique to sort of zoom in on it. It's like, yeah, you can't zoom in on a photo like this. Oh, my gosh. Let's have a look at that. You're like, well, you can't do that. That's just what, yeah, go closer or further away if you want to go in and out on this photo? Oh yeah, there was a time, Juliet, and again, Juliet's dad's regaining tales of yesteryear.

There was a time, Juliet, that if you went on holiday, you wouldn't see your friend's feet by a pool in real time. You had to wait till they got home, till they had been down to the Royal Oak Mall and printed it off at the photo shop. And then a week later, you'd be invited over for a session where they would blow by blow go through every single photo from their holiday. It's like Facebook in real life.

Look at all my photos. What a time. And you questioned, is now the time I end it? Yeah. So there was that. And they were also watching a movie. Now, this was a movie that was made recently, but it was set in a time, 1999.

And they were basically on the movie. The mum was very worried about Y2K, and she was getting provisions all set for Y2K. And the kids are like, what was Y2K? And I was like, oh, God. It's like the embarrassing moment of our past, isn't it, Y2K? You were asking what it was, Jerry. Well, I kind of had a little bit of an idea but I wasn't sure how seriously people actually took it. Some people were very

serious, other people were like eh you know probably like Covid We'll look back on this in 20 years Some outside parliament probably not taking it as seriously as the others but basically it was, the issue was the computers right and that when they had programmed computers and clocks

and times that they hadn't factored in what happens when it goes over to double up. They had thought about the new millennium. They were like, oh, we'll worry about that later. And then it got around to that and then everyone started worrying about it, going, oh, the banks, there's going to be riots, the money, everything was going to go

wrong. Turns out we really underestimated computers. Turns out they're a lot smarter than us. And so 12 o'clock, 12.01, tick-tock, and everyone emerged from their bunkers. Some people did have bunkers, eh? I was holding a machine gun. You killed three people. I did.

And it turned out everything was fine, apart from the three lives that I took. But it was a wild time. There was a guy I used to work with Who honestly built a bunker Under his house With supplies and everything They thought that just like Clocks were going to stop

The computers weren't going to work Not too many Look it was a different time But yeah everything They thought everything was going to go Like every time you'd use a computer For anything at all It was just going to malfunction

And it was going to go bad Well i guess at that stage computers like like these days computers and phones are so smart whereas i feel like maybe back in that day people were just didn't give computers enough credit oh that might be it but turns out they were still smart yeah and it really impacted the y2k zip empire what is that you know every zip you've got, it's got Y2K on it. What is that? It's not based off what happened in 2000. No, it says YKK. It's a Y2K, isn't it?

Or is it YKK? I have no idea what you're talking about. Have you never seen Y2K? This is another excuse to look at your crotch. I've not played this game before, okay? We played it in my bunker in 1999. Except we'd never talk about it until this moment. Next on the show, we've got a number of someone very famous and we're debating whether we call it.

I'm saying yes, you're saying no, we can't do this live. We'll do it next maybe. Hard-hitting interviews and informed opinion. Mike Hosking on Newstalk ZV. In the meantime, Jono and Ben on the hits. Scrolling through your feed. Here to present a vague recollection of current events, it's Jono and Ben

with Scrolling Through Your Feed. Last night was the Halberg Sports Awards and the goat and the boat. Dame Lisa Carrington won the Supreme Award at the Halberg ceremony last night. Of course, she won three gold medals at the Olympics last year. She also won Sportswoman of the Year last night. It was pretty awesome.

And as we said earlier in the show, in the last 10 years, she's won 29% of New Zealand's gold medals. Just phenomenal. Do you know she only took it up when she was 17? Really? She was playing netball, I think. Yeah. And decided to take that to late teens.

Jeez, it would have been a wonderful night last night. So much protein in one room at the Halbergs. Imagine it. It's smaller, obviously, this year because of the red light setting. So I think it was just the nominees going along and stuff and everyone sitting in separate tables and stuff. Now, we've been having a debate off air, and it's been raging on for the last 40 minutes, Ben.

Producer Behunt's done some wonderful producing. He's obtained Lisa Carrington's cell phone number. But we didn't organise this. So I'm just going to talk about it. We're not going to call it, Ben. Producer Behart's done some wonderful producing. He's obtained Lisa Carrington's cell phone number. But we didn't organise this, so I'm just going to talk about No, we're not going to call her, John. We're going to talk about, you know, well done to Sophie Pascoe, Dame Sophie Pascoe, Para-Athlete of the Year, Kane Williamson, Sportsman of the Year, and then, you know, the team, the Blackcaps. Stop trying to smoke

screen, mate, with some other achievements. I'm fixated on calling. Oh, emerging talent, Erica Fairweather, swimming as well, so good on her. Juliet, I've handed you Fairweather, swimming as well, so good on her. Juliet, I've handed you the cell phone number. We've got to call her. Ben, I know you're saying this is very disorganised, but we've never claimed to be the most organised show on the market, have we?

Okay, well, we'll be kind of cold. Yeah. Oh, it's ringing. What do you reckon? It'd be cool to say we had her on the show, but I also don't want her to answer because we haven't organised it. I mean, the advantage is she might be expecting other interviews to come through. Yeah.

Well, true. She might think, well, it's Mike Hoskin calling. Kia ora, you've reached Lisa. No! Lisa, you'll just fire me through a text. We'll leave a message. Add the tone. Record your message. She'll appreciate, you've reached Lisa. No! Just fire me through a text. We'll leave a message. Add the tone. Record your message. She'll appreciate this. Hi Lisa!

It's Jono and Ben here. We just want to say congratulations. We think you're awesome. It was so cool to see you win the Supreme Award last night. We're live on the radio right now. Yeah. Kind of hoping you were going to answer. We hadn't organised this. No, so it was a bit disorganised. But yeah, we're hoping that you might have thought another show that you're meant to do an interview with was phoning you and then

you accidentally answered our call yeah and we you know i've just realized this is a voicemail so you probably won't clear this till 2036 by that stage you'll probably win another 20 40 more gold medals uh congratulations you're awesome i think we've gone on too long oh yeah okay wrap it up wrap it up oh okay, so we've done that now. And she'll probably, as you say, never clear that. We didn't leave her. Call her back, we'll leave her number. Oh, no, we're not calling her back.

It is the hits. You've got Jono and Ben. Jono and Ben, brought to you by Resene, New Zealand's most trusted paint, Kiwi-made since 1946.