Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: Amy Schumer Needs to Change Up Her Toilet Habits

Episode Date: May 31, 2022

We talk to one of Amy Schumer's ex-employees! Enty spills the tea on Ellen DeGeneres. Jono has some financial advice regarding parking tickets and we talk about your auction blow-outs! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits with the Jono and Ben Podcast. Jeez, 31st of May, six months into the year tomorrow. Oh yeah. What is going on? Have you done the stuff that you set out to do this year? No, don't do that to me. You know that gives me, that plays on my anxiety levels, doesn't it? He's wanted to do a lot of stuff this year.

Yeah. I have too, granted. Yeah, I know. None of the stuff's eventuated. No, it's just, you know, it takes time. And six months of the year just got, you know. No better off than when we started. Oh, no, but to be fair, you ran a marathon. Made you do that in two days.

Oh, yeah, we were not getting stuff done. You're like, why can't I train for this? I'm like, we've got to get stuff done. The year's ticking away. It is. And you did it. You did it. Yeah, I know.

Yeah, we did. Because we are doing a bucket list. So, yeah, I'm glad we did that stuff. We have done some stuff. Yeah. Yeah. But, yeah, I know some stuff I know when you go six months through Jeez What's happened? Have we been in lockdown this year? No This year

Thank you Joel Joel's here pushing the buttons Yeah we did for Omicron wasn't it? Oh yeah Because we came back from holiday Remember Omicron, wasn't it? Oh, yeah. Because we came back from holiday. Remember Omicron? Did we go into lockdown? Oh, jeez, it's so hard to think.

I think we did. I thought we'd stopped the lockdowns. Nah, there was definitely a lockdown this year. Really? Only there was some way we could find out. Oh, Joel's looking up, frantically searching. I think Feb. I'm thinking Feb there was a lockdown.

Really? Yeah. I'll just back check that one. up, frantically searching. I think Feb. I'm thinking Feb there was a lockdown. Really? Yeah. I'll just fact check that one. Yeah, just double check. Because I think, because remember, it was that day that everyone was phoning. They're like, we're going on a lockdown. Take your computers home. Pretty sure that was this year.

I thought this year we've just kind of rolled through it through various levels. I actually can't find anything, but maybe we did. Our research has given up. You guys were in lockdown for a week when you had COVID. That counts, right? Yeah, maybe it was us leaving COVID. Okay, New Zealand lockdowns 2022. What have we got here?

That's right. There was a media conference on the 23rd of January. Yeah, no, there was. And they provided an update for the traffic light. And they're like, we're doing the traffic light and we are now in red. So lock yourself down. Maybe the whole country wasn't in lockdown. Maybe it wasn't a lockdown lockdown, though.

Maybe it was just a red light thing. I think there was no one at work, though, from my memory. Yeah, maybe it was just our work. Remember our work was like everyone was home? I think that's... I don't know. It's amazing how quickly you forget what's going on. Yeah.

Maybe we've all just tried to erase the last two years from our memory anyway we're here now, six months in Ben you tell me about the back half of the year what are you wanting to achieve before Christmas talk to me is this a performance review there's a lot of stuff I've got going

but a lot of the stuff is just personal personal stuff not for the podcast they don't need to know about this not like I don't want to share not like I don't want to be an open book but there's things you want to do and I'm not comfortable

saying those things right now I'd rather vaguely talk about whether or not it sounds like you're wanting to try some adventurous bedroom moves I haven't picked up the courage to talk to anyone about it but I hope that you'll suggest it so I bought a harness I don't know, the courage to talk to anyone about it. But I hope that you'll suggest it. Oh, yeah. So I bought a harness.

I don't know. How do I approach this? It does sound a bit like that, doesn't it? No, no. You're professionally speaking. Yeah, professionally speaking. I know what you're saying. I know what you're saying.

Well, hey, maybe 2022's not your year. Hey, it's the ladder guy. Has he got a new shirt? Maybe he's achieved something this year. The ladder guy on TV? Is that Lee Hart? No, he doesn't look like Lee Hart. No, he's the guy that we see this infomercial comes on every morning. Now, he's achieved something this year. The latter guy on TV. Is that Lee Hart? He does look like Lee Hart. No, he's the guy that we see this infomercial comes on every morning.

Now, he's amazing ladders, but his T-shirt you've always gone with was like a blue sort of T-shirt. He's gone a blue deep blue V-neck T-shirt. Yeah, which is fine, and we always comment on his T-shirt, but now he's got a shirt on. He's got a college shirt. Oh, he does too. And this ladder is just remarkable.

And what I love about the ladder is they demonstrate how many different ways you can drink cups of tea on it. Because that's been my big problem with ladders so far, that I've never been able to drink a cup of tea from up a ladder. I've never wanted to. Well, no, you can. It's not a tea drinking location. If you're up a ladder, you're working. You want a smoker, you have a cup of tea, you don't need to come down. Go to the ground.

Go to the ground. Go to the ground. A ladder's not essential for tea drinking. You can drink a cup of tea anywhere you want on that ladder. Yeah. I've actually got that ladder. Have you? Yeah. It's so heavy.

I bought it. I was like, oh, buy the ladder, guys. It's stable. It's stable, so you can drink a cup of tea. Yeah. Have you tried drinking a cup of tea on your ladder? That's what I've used the ladder for. I haven't even used it for climbing up things.

So you need a cup of tea, get the ladder out, sit on top of it. Yeah, real fun show today. We talked about auctions. You can have a lot of blowouts with auctions, and we got some great stories through. We talked to our Hollywood entertainment reporter, Enty. He's an entertainment lawyer over there. We don't actually even know his real name.

No, no, I love that we don't know his real name. And he unloads on Ellen. Yeah, Ellen. No, I don't know his. I love that we don't know his real name. And he unloads on Ellen. Yeah, Ellen. Ellen, as if she hasn't been through enough. Well, here you go. It's a bit of a shame that, you know, the last couple of years of bullying has tarnished her career. Yeah.

You know, it's like we're sitting here talking about, you know, the negative stuff. Yeah. And where the show did a lot of positive things. Oh, yeah. It was hundreds of hundreds of millions of dollars in helping out charities and people over the years. I mean, that's huge. You can't take that away from the show. Well, they did. No, I'm saying you can't take that away from the show.

Well, they did. Because we didn't focus on that when we spoke to Enty. Okay. I tried to mention it, but anyway. You tried to get it out. I love it when Enty, because he's, you know, he spades a spade with him. But you always try and add the positive angle. Well, I need to mention it, but anyway. I love it when he ends here because he's, you know, he spades a spade with him, but you always try and add the positive angle.

Well, I need to. I don't want to be that show. I don't want to be that show that, you know, like it's one. Unloads. Unloads and goes, oh, you're just a negative thing and you hate it. You know, like I feel like, you know, like that may be some of these stories are a hundred percent true, but I just don't want to be that.

I don't want to play in that space. No. So, you know, so it's kind of like these are real people as well. And if that's true, what they've done and what, you know, maybe that's, you know, we do need to talk about it from time to time, but I don't always want to be like taking shots at everyone because you do see, you know, I was watching the Ryan Reynolds, talking to David Letterman and he struggles with a lot of anxiety.

You know, you think of people that, you know, he's a superstar, he's a celebrity, but you don't realise the stuff that they're going through as well. Well, with people saying things about them. Well, no, just, you know, he's, there's a lot of anxiety and a lot of worry and stuff as well. And you're like, okay, well, it's kind of good to know that even in the celebrity, you know, it normalises it.

They're all human beings, aren't they? Yeah, so, yeah. Although I found it weird because NT unloaded on R. Kelly and I was like, this is going to be interesting. How's Ben going to? R. Kelly? R. Kelly, yeah. And you were like, R. Kelly, you know, I believe I can fly. No, we never did. We never did. I was like, this is going to be interesting. How's Ben going to? Ah, Kelly. Ah, Kelly, yeah. And you were like, ah, Kelly, you know, I believe I can fly.

No, we never did. We never did. I was like, what? Why did this happen? No, you're making it up. Not a bad song. Not a bad song. I didn't go there.

I didn't go there. All right. Remix to ignition. It's a banger. It's a banger. Okay, here's the podcast. Jono and Ben. The weather's looking a little bit more settled around the country yesterday

Some wild winds, some wild rain as well Jeez, it came through thick and strong last night, didn't it? Yeah The house was leaking Oh yeah, I looked up to the bedrooms There was just literally a torrent of water coming down the wall I'm like, well, I have no skills to fix that I can get a towel and mop it up for a little bit

And just pray that it doesn't rain as hard ever again Now Now, Joel, who's pushing the buttons today, your house flooded too. Yeah, my parents' house, there was water coming through the lights in the top room. Oh, that's always good. Mixing electricity with water. Yeah, I don't know a lot about electrical stuff. Do you have a leaky house, Ben, or are you rock solid? Nothing coming through? I was a little leaky last night, but the house I think was okay. Before the torrent of rain, I was driving home, and lo and behold, what crosses the road but this?

It's in front of me. It's in front of my car. Can't move. What sort of, obviously a bird or something, is it? It was. This is like RNZ with the bird call in the morning. Yeah. It was a wild turkey.

It was a turkey crossing... Oh, here we go. You're so desperate for stories on the radio that you've now made up. It's not. I'm sweating. I Googled it because I didn't know what it was. I thought it might have been a pheasant.

You know how you see those ones around. Where is this wild turkey? It was in the park. It was in my house. Oh, yeah. I thought it might have been a pheasant. You know how you see those ones around. Where is this wild turkey? It was in the park down the road from my house. Oh yeah, okay. And I drove so over here. The location's fine. When I say the road,

it's like a, you know, a small thoroughfare. Oh yeah, yeah. Or was it just along State Highway 1 or something? Oh, no. No, my bad. Regoogled, it was a pheasant.

Oh, it was a pheasant. Yeah, I was picky. I was told everyone for the last 24 hours, mate, there's a random turkey wandering around the place. Hold on, let me just check turkey again. Yeah, no, definitely a pheasant. Definitely a pheasant.

They're probably not as special, are they? Well, it's still like... They're pretty looking birds. Yeah. It's still very unusual for you to find them. I guess there's a lot of birds around that particular park. What's your favourite bird, Ben? Pick your favourite bird.

Out of all the birds that we offer here in Aotearoa. I don't know. Birds are like, the beaks kind of freak me a little bit out. I used to have to get the chicken, the eggs from the chickens when we lived on the farm. And it just, I don't know. They must sense fear because I had a lot of fear going towards them. Nothing like the nervous egg collector. You need confidence going into that game.

I'll be like, no eggs today. Mum will be like, again? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I would just be scared to put my hands in. They're not very productive, those ones. The Mum will be like, again? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess I would just be scared to put my hands in. I'm very productive with those ones. The kākāpō? Oh, yeah.

The kia. I like the cheeky kia. Is the kākāpō the nuisance or the kia? The kia's the one that rips off the window wiper blades, right? Yeah, and the rubber

around your windscreens, doesn't it? Jeez, we froth for bird of the year here too, don't we? We do, yeah. I found it, like many years ago,

I found it like a rooster. We found a rooster we found a rooster that was away from close to western springs but quite far away from us you know how there's a whole lot of in auckland there's that park with a lake there's a whole lot of them live around there and so we i mean my mate we brought it back and put it next to the lake so here you go and then it just kept walking go towards it we're like whoa whoa whoa towards the road and just kept walking across the road luckily didn't he didn't get hit. But I was like, what are you doing? We'll put you here.

We'll put you in your location. Didn't you try and save a bird that was flapping around? You took your shirt off in the park? Oh, that was a duck. Oh, yeah, a duck. Yeah, it was a duck. And it ended up attacking you. No, yeah, because it was a baby duck that had been caught in a pool next to like a sort

of drained pool, one of those big pools you dive in from a high dive. And so I did the heroic thing, came down, put it in my top. But celebrity saves ducklings. Get a photo. Someone someone get a photo send this off to the herald took it down to the little creek uh next to where i thought maybe uh they would come from and then the mum duck obviously saw me with the ducklings and didn't realize i was being a kiwi hero stop being a mother ducker get your phone out just get your phone out man jeez i ran took my top off throw to the ground and just ran when they get their wings out that's the Stop being a mother ducker. Get your phone out. Get your phone out, mate. Jeez, I ran. Took my top off,

threw it in the ground and just ran. When they get their wings out, that's the terrifying part, isn't it? There we go, bird chat. First thing in the morning. Scrolling through your feed. All right.

If you don't like news, well then, boy oh boy, you've come to the best place. Ben, what's happening? Scrolling. So one of the world's most iconic bits of artwork, Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa,

has been attacked in a very bizarre protest yesterday in France. I mean, So one of the world's most iconic bits of artwork, Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa, has been attacked in a very bizarre protest yesterday in France. So a man dressed as a wheelchair-bound old woman, he launched cake at the famous painting. He tried to break the bulletproof glass, and when he couldn't, he smeared cream and cake all over the glass. And then he threw roses everywhere before being tackled by security and removed from the museum. And as he was sort of going out, he yelled out, think about the earth. So obviously people think it's some sort of climate change,

I guess, protest, but a very unusual thing to... Or you could also say, think about food wastage. You know, you're just throwing away a perfectly good cake. And I don't think Mona Lisa did bad things towards the planet, did she? No, she was pretty chill. She wasn't using plastic and things. If anything, she looked pretty miserable in that painting, doesn't she, Mona Lisa? Yeah, it did feel like she was a bit stitched up in some regards.

Was that a Da Vinci job, was it? Yeah, Leonardo had a different... He really painted her looking a little bit upset. You know, not upset, but just a little like... She could have... She kind of got a slight smirk. She could have looked at that and gone, Leo, can we do a take two? I'll get my chompers out.

Well, she would have been sitting there for a long time, you would imagine, to paint that back in the day. Do a silly photo? Yeah. Would they back in the day go for like a big 12 hour stint of just sitting and posing or be like, okay, well that's today's shift, we'll come back tomorrow, pick it up again. How did they do that?

You'd hope that'd be all done in one day, wouldn't you? But I don't know. She looks smug, doesn't she, Mona Lisa? The eyes thing. I was very fortunate when we were travelling overseas to go and see the painting. And the eyes kind of follow you everywhere you kind of go. That was kind of the creepy thing where you kind of walk around. Oh, really?

You still go to the left and the right. And it felt like she was kind of looking and peering. Or maybe that was... Maybe it was some prankster who cut the eyes out doing a hidden camera prank. Well, it feels like a great radio stunt. Mate, you dress up, you're an elderly lady, you're in a wheelchair, you take the cake.

Yeah, it does a little bit, doesn't it? You know, you could have come up with that idea and made me do that. Yeah, well, good, we did. And the National Party is still the most popular party in New Zealand right now, according to the latest One News Kandahar public poll. But they haven't quite got enough National or Labour to govern alone. Even when they team up with their mates, they both end up being around about the same,

which is going to mean that next year's election is looking like it's going to be very, very tight. But as they say, a week's a long time in politics, don't they Ben? Next year's an age away. They love just getting a poll out. I know. It must be the bane. I would hate it if I was a politician. I'd get so anxious about polls.

Stop releasing polls. Stop telling me how much of the country hate me. Jacinda Ardern is still the most preferred for Prime Minister for Leader at 33%, down one. But Christopher Luxon gaining fast at 25%. Yeah, right. So when they team up with Māori Greens, they can just? Well, it goes to a total of about 58 seats. And then if National at the moment and Labour, so National and ACT go together, they're about 60 seats. So it's very neck and neck.

So the Kingmaker could be in the election, the Māori Party. Yeah. Because they could technically work with Party. Yeah, yeah. Because they could technically work with both. Yeah, exactly, and they're more likely to work with Labour by the sounds of it, but hey. There you go. That shit, there was some hard-hitting political analysis from Jonathan and Benjamin. Yeah. We've got more

coming up, 0800 80 1080 Newstalk ZB. No, not quite as much. Hard-hitting interviews and informed opinion. Mike Hosking on Newstalk ZB. In the meantime, Jono and Ben on the hits. Looks like the government are putting the supermarkets on notice at the moment, so hopefully that means the cost of living will come down slightly as far as supermarket food goes. What does that mean, you're on notice?

Well, they've urged them to change, be prepared for regulation. Are the supermarkets like, hey, we're private companies, you just stick to what you're doing and we'll charge people buttloads of money for their... Mate, you're on notice. You're on notice. What does that mean? They're on notice. Anyway, when does Costco come into the country?

I think later in the year. That's really going to be a bit of a leveller, isn't it? Big American store coming over. Huge. Like, everything you can get there just in bulk. Yeah, just... Like, 52 kgs of washing powder. But then you can also get like washing machines and all

things as well so it's a crazy store oh i'd be a nightmare in a place like that it'd be like okay you're just there to get a block of cheese and i'd come home with i don't know i don't know what's in costco and been in there uh ben you know the parking situation around here they're back out and forced one of the joys of lockdown was we could park anywhere. There was no cars. Park on the footpath. Park anywhere. Yeah, you're right. Now you talk about the new thing. They don't even walk

around and do the tickets. They've got a car that comes around and takes photos. The ticketing tank with like six cameras on top of its roof. Yeah. Which is great. Like if I was working in that industry, that's what i oh that's the tool you want you're like you've what yeah yeah i'll drive a car around and ticket people no confrontation that's because you would be shocking yeah i'd let everyone off you'd be like

boys your numbers are down this month oh you're sorry boss i just i couldn't give them a parking ticket as soon as someone said hey what are you doing you'd be like sorry sorry sorry back out but uh you know i've had a couple of parking tickets since Yeah, I know. As soon as someone said, hey, what are you doing? You'd be like, sorry, sorry, sorry. Back out. But, you know, I've had a couple of parking tickets since life has gone back to somewhat. You get them sent here, which we all enjoy. We all enjoy seeing that. He doesn't really pay for parking. Joel, who's pushing the buttons for this.

This is his theory, that he reckons it evens out eventually. So if he doesn't pay for parking, what he basically saves in parking, he'll pay for in fines. Yeah. Do you agree with that? I think I was running that last year as well because i didn't know the the tanks were driving around ponsonby i was like i've found i've found the perfect spot yeah three hundred dollars worth the tickets came at once but i think it leveled out because i was like if i was actually paying across these few months i think i think you might be onto something there this is the thing you know

so i go to the casino sometimes the house wins wins, sometimes you win. It's parking. It's parking, baby. Just don't pay for it. But what I had is a ticket. You know how they put them under the window wipers? This obviously wasn't a victim of a ticketing tank, but the ticket has been on my windscreen for three days. Now, I have another theory, too. If the ticket blows off, I never saw it.

I didn't lay eyes upon the ticket. Yeah, but they still get in touch with you. No, that's my defence in the district court when it comes up. But she was, it is clinging on harder than I've clung on to you

for the last 10 years, this ticket. I'll be going down the motorway, it's going, rain, hail, it is just sticking on there. You're refusing to take it off. Yeah, there is no way that I won't be able to pay this ticket.

We'll forget about it. Do you know last year, like about a year ago, I got a lot of tickets and I was like, oh, that's annoying. And then I had a look at it closely. It wasn't even my ticket. Someone else had put their ticket under my, which I thought was, like I could have gone ahead and paid that. It probably wouldn't have when I put in the registration details,

but I was like, hey, great play. If it can work. Yeah. Put a ticket under. Yeah. Do you know another great thing to do? And I would never do this. Oh, yeah.

Is my friend. Yeah, it sounds like you. My friend fell victim to this as well, speaking of being victimized by ticketing officers. He wasn't at his car. He parked his car. Someone dinged the car. Now, this was in front of,

you know, there were people outside, offices, cafes, watching on. The person wrote a note. So everyone's like, oh good,

they're writing a note, leaving the details, putting it under the windscreen. All will be, the insurance companies will look after this. He got back and he looked at the note

and it just said, sorry, bro. That's it, no details. But he looked like a great person. So that's like... You looked like a great person, didn't you? I looked like a great person. I wrote, sorry, bro.

No repercussions. Didn't have to pay any excess. Spy, know what's up. Spy.co.nz Bells away. So that means he's got his fingers in spies. Ben Boyce, what's going on? Now, we've been trying to not talk so much about the Johnny Depp trial

because, well, one, it's all over, and two, I think people were just kind of fatigued with it. Everyone just felt really sad that this whole thing had been dragged through the courts and all the information that had come out. You just kind of feel there was no real winners, I guess, before they decide who the winner is. Well, no one's going to come out smelling of roses, as they say, from this.

Either way, whoever wins the case, you're right. So the jury are deliberating at the moment. But the unusual thing that Johnny Depp yesterday, he popped up in the UK and he popped up on stage. A rock musician, Jeff Beck, was having a concert. And Johnny Depp is friends with Jeff Beck. And he strode onto the stage mid-concert in the United Kingdom. And they ended up playing a cover together.

Have a listen. Of a John Lennon track. So, yeah, surprise guest. Was that the best audio you could get, mate? What a shocking audio. Mate, it's not professionally recorded. Someone in concert going, oh, look at this Johnny Depp. And they're putting it like that.

Mate, we've got a high standard of audio quality on this broadcast. Have we? I don't know. You just played it like a wild turkey or something in front of your car. From my phone, true. Maybe I've lowered the bar this morning. Yeah, so interesting. Firstly, that he's out of America at the moment,

you know, while something's waiting for the court case to finish and then he pops up on stage. Well, I guess he's not like, he's not on parole or does he have an ankle bracelet? No, no, no,

I wasn't there by that but just was unusual, like, oh, he's over there. Yeah. Well, the court case is still going, but I suppose when you think about it,

while the jury's deliberating, what are they, sort of just sit there awkwardly in the room together? Yeah. Twiddling thumbs. So yeah, good on. Off he's doing that.

Put your money on it. Who's going to win? I don't know. As I said before, I don't think there's any winners there. Really? Pick a winner. No. Pick a winner.

I'm not going to. I think no one's a winner. Draw a line in the sand. No matter what happens, no one's a winner. Okay. No. I think that's the thing. That's all I'm going to say.

You can keep talking to me all you want about it. I'm not going to say any more. We're not playing any more radio until you do a pick a winner. I'll play some more audio. Hey, play that audio from the concert again, Joe. I'll play that audio from the concert. And Snoop Dogg was meant to be coming here at Auckland in Christchurch in November this year, but no longer coming.

Now, it's a bit of a shame. He basically said it's a mixture of family obligations and TV and film projects. He can no longer fulfill a lot of his tour. And we'll be coming to New Zealand and Christchurch Auckland. No one is going to be hurting more than the weed market. Just spare a thought for them. Sales, they were probably banking on a big year. They had a couple of shaky years over the last couple of years.

I bet you if we'd voted in we'd oh jeez it would have been yeah do you reckon it was one of those situations where Snoop Dogg you know

New Zealand's a long way away it's oh do I have to go to New Zealand and maybe he agreed to do it while he was

you know doing what he loves what it's done is he's gone I've got more important stuff to do than come to New Zealand film and TV projects he doesn't even see what they are.

I get it, I get it. It would have been a good concert though. It would have been awesome. And that is Entertainment News this morning. Win with Jono and Ben and The Warehouse. Proud partner of Lego Masters New Zealand on TVNZ2. You're watching on Monday and Tuesday nights on TVNZ2. There's a special code word.

You can text that through to 4487. And the next morning we give you three minutes when we call out your name to call us on 0800 the Hats. You always wanted to do a Lego challenge the longest time walking on Lego in bare feet, didn't you? Yeah. You've never been able to get that across the line, have you? One day I will.

Your dream will come true. And Amelia's dream has come true this morning because we just called out your name, Amelia. How are you? Hi. Hi. How are you, mate? Good. How are you, mate? Good.

Hey, well, well done. You've just phoned us through and you've won a $500 warehouse voucher. Thank you. Yeah, you can spend it on Lego if you want or anything else in the warehouse. I'll buy Lego. Yeah, you can buy flannels and towels and frying pans.

Yeah. That's pretty sweet. She's like, no, no, I'm not going to buy any of those things. I'm going to go all Lego. So you love Lego, Master, as we understand, Amelia. Yeah. That's pretty sweet. She's like, no, no, I'm not going to buy any of those things. I'm going to go all Lego. So you love Lego Masters, we understand, Amelia. Yeah. Yeah, not many shows will pay you to watch. Yeah.

That's awesome. Oh, good on you. Are you off to school today? Yes, I've got cross country today. Oh, now it's kind of, you know, they're the kids that love cross country and the kids who, you know, they're the opposite. What are you? What camp do you sit in? I love cross the kids that love cross country and the kids who, you know, they're the opposite. What are you? What camp do you sit in?

I love cross country. You love cross country. Good luck. How far are you running? How long is the distance? Do you know? Two Ks. Hey, well, good luck today.

Thank you so much for watching Lego Masters and, of course, listening to our show. Thank you. Good on you, Amelia. The great thing about listening to this show is that the day can only get better from here. Jono and Ben on the hits. The weather looking a bit more settled today than yesterday. The great thing about listening to this show is that the day can only get better from here. Jono and Ben on the hits.

The weather looking a bit more settled today than yesterday's windy, rainy effort. Yeah, I hope everyone survived the downpour. Yeah. Your house turned out all right? It wasn't too bad. Yeah, rock solid foundations. Mine was leaking like a sieve. Yeah, you said that.

Nightmare. We had to put a bucket down. Buckets don't really catch much. No. They're like, put a bucket down. And then it makes that bloop, you said that. We had to put a bucket down. Buckets don't really catch much. They're like, put a bucket down. And then it makes that bloop, bloop noise all night. But anyway, it does something. I was at the dentist, as you know, because we share all of our calendar invites. I do. It's just easier,

isn't it? I like it with declining them. Sometimes they come through. Can I go to the dentist tomorrow? But then afterwards it was rebooking the next appointment. And it was a textbook rebook. You know, I'd got the date in. We'd lined up our calendars. I'd sent you another invite.

Then at the end, I went to say goodbye. Now, as I said goodbye goodbye all of a sudden a rogue bit of spit escapes my mouth it's like a prisoner who just sees you know they've been waiting years for the security to turn away and they've just made it the spit just made its run for it and it always in this situation it takes the trajectory of a rainbow doesn't it it does it sort of loops in doesn't it yeah so this was at the reception i'm this is a recession but what i love about whenever this happens no one acknowledges it no one no one acknowledges oh do you know ever go oh sorry no no oh no i would say so i go oh sorry like yeah because i feel conscious about that yeah no but every time i've interacted no

one no one said that We've all seen it happen It happens in a slow motion movement as well Especially in a COVID world too No one ever knows where they land either of those Do they? Sometimes they do Sometimes it's like a soccer game And it gets into your mouth

When they get a goal there And that's when you don't acknowledge it I've had that happen before. I just, oh. And then, because you've still got to keep talking. You've still got to hold it together. But all you want to do is go. It's like when you're running and a bug flies into your nostrils.

Can I drink 20 litres of Purell hand sanitiser somehow and gargle that? But yeah, no. Sometimes you lose the spit lottery and it enters your mouth. It enters your mouth, but I appreciate the wonderful receptionist not saying anything. Probably landed on her keyboard or something. I'd probably turn around, she got the dead old wipes out, Glenn 20. Oh, did you see what happened there?

No one said anything. Here's some content you can use to bluff your way through some light banter today. Ben? Well, some of the biggest news stories around it. Jacinda Ardern, she's going to catch up with US President Joe Biden tomorrow. But unfortunately, the plane, the Defence Force plane that she has been travelling around America on has broken down. And she's going to have to take a commercial flight.

This is, you don't get a more New Zealand story. And I love it. Did they not all pitch in for petrol money? What was going on here? It feels like the type of plane, you know, when you've got a car that's maybe not as cool as other cars and you go to someone's house, you want to park four blocks away? Yeah.

I'm sure they did that with the plane. The New Zealand Defence Force. Are we probably the only Defence Force in the world where you go to war, but you might need to give us a lift home? Yeah, the New Zealand Top Gun movie, not quite as good as the one that's in cinemas right now. Hey, bro, you got any spare batteries? Yeah.

Top Gun Maverick has only been in cinemas since the last weekend and already it's the highest grossing debut in Tom Cruise's 40-year career. Wow. His first movie to surpass 100 million on the opening weekend. Have a listen.

Combat medals, citations, only man to shoot down three enemy planes in the last 40 years yet you can't get a promotion you won't retire despite your best efforts you refuse to die yeah so it's pretty epic it seems like a movie that you want to see at the movies because of all the special you, not even special effects, because of all the amazing scenes, they're all real flying in the fighter planes, I love it I love those movies where

he's like dramatically reading out his CV to her three fighter planes you shot down and what do you know, I was there 22 year career, yep that's me, that's me, all checks out still you can't get hired I'm out of work thanks for bringing

everyone up to speed for some of the plot points in this movie but pretty incredible I reckon one of the big reasons why it's doing so well

is probably you know not just with the young audience but slightly older people that would have seen it the first time around are wanting to go

back to the cinemas to see it so it's got nostalgia feel and timing I think is crucial on this one they've held it back because they wanted audiences to see it. So it's got a nostalgia feel. And timing, I think, is crucial on this one. They've held it back because they wanted audiences to see it in movie theatres.

And now that the world can get back to movie theatres, maybe it'll be the first big banger to get back out there. Now, Cardi B, she's a Grammy Award winning singer. She's gone viral. Now, she's on holiday at the moment, and she saw a yacht sinking out in the harbor from her holiday home, and she shared her reaction of watching the yacht. It's very, very funny.

This is her commentary. Cardi B, she's so awesome, of her seeing a yacht sink in the harbor. Y'all see that? Y'all see that? Oh, my God. They can't do that, everybody. There ain't no big boat that can save it. It's gone.

It's gone. It's gone. Bye. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. She's awesome.

What I love is she doesn't get any less excited about it. No. But the more it goes into the water, the more hyped up she gets. Put her on the next America's Cup commentary. Cardi B, eh? I mean, if she gets that excited with yacht racing. Mac, gold! It's gold.

It's beautiful. This is Lie or Lie. This is where we get two people on the airwaves. And one is telling the truth and one is telling a lie. And we need to work out who is telling the truth and who is telling a Lie. This is where we get two people on the airwaves. And one is telling the truth and one is telling a lie. And we need to work out who is telling the truth and who's telling a lie. Yeah, like human lie detector tests. And we are probably some of the most shocking lie detector people. People can easily lie to both of us,

which makes me wonder how we've navigated our way through our career so far, Ben. How many lies have been told to that sweet face of yours? We're very gullible. So let's get our first caller on who claims to be telling the truth. Lucy, what is the story? I survived 20 days at sea. You survived 20?

What, on a cruise ship? Well, but it was on a yacht. I think capsized. What, for nearly a month you were on a capsizer? Where were you sitting on the yacht? Were you on the base that had overturned? We were travelling from Fiji back to Auckland,

and I don't know what happened, but next thing you know we were in the water. So it wasn't quite a Titanic situation? No, a bit too tropical. But you survived a lot longer than Jack did at the end too when he was sort of hovering in the water. So how did you survive? There's a lot of questions for the

first part mate. You're delving too deep. Where did you spend the 20 days? On what position? Final question alright? Honestly we spent most of the 20 days on pieces of the boat

to be honest with you. Don't get too technical with us. Pieces of the boat. Don't get too technical with us. Thanks for the vague information. Lucy could be lying and throwing us off the set. You never know, all right? You're right. You could be getting inside our head, Lucy.

Well played, Lucy. You and your pieces of the boat. And we've got Simone as well joining us. Welcome to the show, Simone. What is your story for Liar Liar? I have lots of true stories, and one of them is that my teeth never fell out naturally and I had to have them all pulled out.

I could tell you about that, or I could tell you about the time that I worked for Amy Schumer. Oh, okay, wow. Let's go to Amy Schumer. Her teeth is interesting. We will get to that. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's go the Amy Schumer. The teeth is interesting. We will get to that. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We can go into all of it. But yes, I worked for Amy Schumer in New York. I had to trudge around New York running tasks for her. Running tasks. How were your teeth on that occasion? Were they full set of teeth? They had all forms, full set of teeth, to smile through the coldness and the pain.

Okay, all right. So today we have Simone with her underdeveloped teeth working for Amy Schumer and Lucy on her bits and pieces of the boat surviving for 20 days at sea. They both seem equally as wild. Yeah, wow. So what is telling the truth?

What is telling a lie? We'll be back in a moment to find out who's telling the truth. You can text 24487 who you think the liar is this morning for Liar Liar. We'll be back very shortly. It is Liar Liar. We're in the middle of finding out what is a truth and what is a lie. We had two statements before and we delved into a few details, some light details. Yeah.

Lucy, just to recap your story. I survived 20 days at sea. 20 days at sea on a yacht that overturned. And you said you survived on bits and pieces of the boat. And Simone, you came in with your story this morning, which was? That I worked for Amy Schumer in New York with a mouth full of underdeveloped teeth. Yeah, and all your teeth. Repeat the teeth one again.

You have what? What are the teeth? None of my teeth when I was a kid fell out, so I had to have them all removed one by one. Oh, my God. Did you get that? Okay, we'll get on to the teeth for a go. Well, if it's true or not. Yeah, so a lot of text coming through on 4487 as to who is

lying this morning, and it's in favour of you, Lucy. Are you telling the truth? 70% of the audience says you survived 20 days at sea. I am lying. Oh! Why would you do this to us, Lucy? You monster.

You're a good liar. Yeah. Which means, Simone, Simone, you're telling the truth. You had underdeveloped teeth and you worked for Amy Schumer in New York. Both true, and thank you to the large percentage of people out there who trusted me and knew that I was telling the truth. Trusting voice. That's pretty cool. How did the Amy Schumer thing come about? I was living there as a student, and so I had to do like a bunch of internships. And so I was working on this show called Inside Amy Schumer, and I somehow managed to get an internship.

My office was by the toilet, just to share a little office story with you. Know your place in the corporate world, yeah? Always. And every time Amy went to the bathroom, she would come out and say, I wouldn't go in there for a while. And at first I was like, that's hilarious. And by the end of the time I was working there, I was like, is she okay?

She needs to change up her diet. Oh, that's so good. Actually, I've just been handed a piece of paper to who you actually are. You've got a new show on TVNZ, Kid Sister. That's true, I do. So you work not only with Amy Schumer, you also worked on a show that Reese Darby

and Taika Waititi also were acting in and as well as Taika directing. Yes, I wrote on that one. I was just a mere assistant on the Amy Schumer one in my youth, but that's true. I did write on Our Flag News Death, which is an HBO show, yeah. Did Tiger put your desk by the toilet, or where were you in that office?

Thank God we were on Zoom for that whole writing of that show because it was during the pandemic, so I didn't have to deal with anyone else going to the toilet. So was Amy Schumer a wonderful boss, essentially? I mean, she was a great boss, and it was an awesome show to work on. I mean, sketch shows are great. But that was the main thing that I remember about her was the toilet thing, you know? What about you now?

You've got your own show. It's on TV and Z on Demand called Kid Sister. What about you? I mean, this is your show. You are the boss on the show, right? Yeah, I guess, technically technically i wrote the show so you never really feel like the boss is always you know guys there's always producers above you telling you what to do well and also on the show your your real life boyfriend paul williams who people will know from taskmaster and a lot of other things. Oh, Paul Williams. Yeah, he's actually playing your boyfriend on the show. That is correct.

And my little brother is playing my older brother and my dad is playing my uncle and my cousin is playing my cousin. So it's all very, very in the family and crazy. Jeez, you're running this show like the Trump administration. I would say that. Well, no, just in terms of the nepotism. Oh, right.

Yeah, yeah. And the comparisons stop there. They do stop there, no, just in terms of the nepotism. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. The comparisons stop there. They do stop there, Simone, for you. Congratulations on your huge success. Please say hello to Paul Williams for us. He's out of the two Williams brothers. He's certainly the most, you can tolerate him a lot more. Yes, and the one that you hurt your neck the least to look at.

Yeah. He's just a dangly freak, isn't he? Guys, guys, very tall. You must have family dinners with the Williams family. Like, does Guy, like, tower over at the dinner table? I mean, they're all big, and so it's kind of like going to dinner at, like, the BFG's house. But also, you know, sitting down is the great equaliser.

Simone, listen, it was lovely to meet you over the phone. Congratulations on all your success. That's incredible. And you can catch the series on TVNZ On Demand right now. I really appreciate it. Cheers, guys. Five words for 5K. You're just five words away from $5,000.

It is our Game of Word Association. It is a simple game to play. You just have to tell us what pops into your head after we give you some words. But it's hard to match up all five words with our five words. Yeah, but if you transact your words into our mouth, then we'll transact 5K to yours. Why Vetti from New Plymouth, how are you? I'm good, thanks.

This is my third time, so third time lucky. Third time. I love the name Yvette. We used to work with her in Yvette We used to call her Y-Vette She was too polite to correct us Do people ever call you Y-Vette? Yeah, I get called many things

But yes, Y-Vette, I've been called that Well, hopefully you get called The person that rang up the hats and won $5,000 Yeah, you could be the street That'd be nice The street talk of Taranaki today Oh, did you hear Y-ETTI won $5,000? Stop YVETTI, stop saying that.

It'd be amazing. Hey, Yvette, you're heading to work. What do you do? Administration. I'm a bit of a keyboard warrior. Oh, good on you. Good. You mock people on forums and troll people on Instagram and things.

Okay, let's get you some cash. Who are you going to send into the soundproof booth? Jono. Oh, I'm heading in. The pressure is are you going to send into the soundproof booth? Jono. Oh, I'm heading in. The pressure is on you. Third time lucky for a vet. Hopefully you don't let it down as soon as Jono heads in there. We'll get three-time vet of the segment.

All right, here we go. Jono's in there right now. Here is your first word this morning. What pops into your head when I say left? L-E-F-T, left. Right. Left and right, yep. Mona is the second word.

M-O-N-A, Mona. Lisa. Yeah, a bit of news about the Mona Lisa. Someone attempted to try and damage it but didn't, so. Foilage is word number three. Foilage. Foilage. Yeah, foliage, unusual.

Oh, it's foliage. Okay. Foliage. Yeah, foliage. Unusual. Oh, it's foliage. Okay. Foliage. Oh, gosh. Foliage. That makes sense. Let's go back. Come back to that one.

Yeah, I should have pre-read that one as well, but I don't get the opportunity. All right, next word is poster. Poster. Poster. Poster, poster. Poster. Poster. Poster, poster. Hmm. Wall? Poster on the wall.

Yeah, good. And potato is the final word. Of course, we're going to come back to foliage. Peeler. Foliage, sorry. Peeler. And foliage is the word that I'm struggling to say this morning. Foliage. Foli morning. Foliage.

Foliage. Foliage. Plant? Yeah, plant. Yeah, I'm thinking along those lines, right? That was a tough one. That was a very tough curveball. It was a tough one for me.

It was a tough one for you. No one felt comfortable about that one. But, hey, we'll bring Jono out of the soundproof booth. I never want to come out of the soundproof booth hearing, that was a tough one for me, tough one for you, no one felt comfortable. Pronunciation was all off for me. You know, it was a tough one, but anyway. That's what happened to that wild night at your house.

It was a tough one for me, tough one for you, no one felt comfortable the next morning, Ben. Yeah, and here we are once again. Alright, I can look you in the eyes this time, though, and see if you can match these five words. Okay, let's do it, mate. Let's do it. What pops into your head when I say left? Right. Well done.'s do it, mate. Let's do it. What pops into your head when I say left? Right.

Well done. Mona is the second word. Mona. Topical. Yeah. What's the headline I woke up to this morning? Man dresses woman pretending to be wheelchair attacks the Mona Lisa. Yeah.

And I'd say Mona Lisa. Yeah, well done. Okay, foliage is the word. Foliage is what we're... Why have we been making groaning noises? Yeah, well this is the one we all struggled with. Okay, first I said foliage, but now it's foliage. Okay. Plants?

Oh, hang on. What's happened? What's happened? What happened? Oh, Vance! Oh, no, I'm getting the big happened? Plant. Oh, bitch! Oh, come on! Oh, no, I'm getting the big shaking of the heads. Did you say plant?

No, I said plant. Did she? We'll have to check the tape again. Producer Behem's shaking in his head. All right, well, while we do that, let's just go through the last couple of words and find out if we get a perfect match. Poster.

Poster? Picture? Picture? Ah! We get a perfect match. Poster. Poster. Picture. Ah! Well, we can, yeah. Well, it was, whoa, you guys are very close. And potato was the final one. Peeler. Oh!

Yes! So close. We would have had to go and check. We will check that word for you. But unfortunately, it doesn't matter because we didn't quite match up with Poster. All good, thanks, guys. Yvette, you played a good game. Played a real good game.

In trying conditions this morning. We're trying conditions. I'll try again. With old foilage over here. Yeah, I know, you're right. You're going to have a great day in New Plymouth, Yvette. Have a great one. Thanks, team.

Morning. Contained dodgy parenting advice. Shono and Ben on the hits. New Plymouth event. Have a great one. Thanks, Tim. Spoken a little bit about my daughter Sienna. Very good actor. She's a good little actor. She's a great actor. Gets a lot more auditions than me. She's got the same agent as me.

Have you? Well, you say that like you've had an audition. I know. She gets lots. I get none. So that's more than me. Hey, and lots more than me. 100% more than I've ever had she's doing a couple of acting courses at the moment and one of them they were doing a little recital over the

over the weekend and you know and putting together you know a showcase of you know not just her class but the other classes and so this is one of these things you go along as a parent and you know you try and you know you're supportive of their their class but you also go how many other classes are they going to be i mean i don't respect what many other classes are there going to be? Amen. Not that I don't respect what the other kids are doing, that's the same time it's, you know. It would be really handy to go, your kid's on at 7.56,

they'll be out by 8.02, you come in there from 7.56, 8.02, then you're out the door. But you can't do that, right? You've got to be in there for the whole thing. You should be allowed to do that. But I was talking to the lady next to me beforehand, she was a parent from another class, and we were talking about that, and yeah, I was talking about that, it's the same. She was a parent from another class, and we were talking about that.

And, you know, I'm talking about the same conversation. But then I noticed that even though she had only one kid during the recital, she had a camera out. She filmed pretty much the whole recital. And I'm just, I'm going, all I could think of was how much phone space this was clocking up on her phone. I mean, yeah, I mean, an amateur performance of The Lion King. Yeah. You know, it's clocking up an amateur performance of The Lion King. Yeah.

You know, it's clogging up a lot of gigabytes, isn't it? But this is not even one story. This is just broken up into different, you know, each class does their own little, you know, little act. So it doesn't make sense as a whole thing. I'm just going, well, you're never going to watch this again, are you? The whole thing? It's like people who film concerts.

Yes. You're like, when do you go back and watch Kendrick Lamar shot on a shaky phone late at night? I do it all the time, though. I film and I'm like, I've got to wait for the chorus. Here it comes. Here it comes. I'm getting it. And then afterwards, I'm like.

It's all distorted. Yeah. You never go back and review that footage. And geez, you wouldn't want to be friends with her. She'd be like, hey, guys, come over to my house. Time to sit down and watch a collection of random kids do a performance none of it makes sense they're all separate do you remember now this is probably making us seem you know obviously a bit older but do you remember when the phones didn't you couldn't video but you used to be able to like i remember at concerts ringing up like my

sister during a song you know like because she liked the song go hey guess where we are she couldn't hear us you're making him probably waking her up and trying to hold the phone up for her to hear, you know, the chorus of some song. You don't know if she's answered. You can't hear her. But you're having and you're like, what was the point of that? You're like, I'm at third eye blind. She's like, third eye blind. You know the song?

This is the song you like. Have a listen. Oh, no. It was Smash Mouth. Hey, now, you're an all-star. Yeah. You're like, what were we doing? Firstly, why was he going to Smash Mouth?

I wasn't. But, you know, that's a great example of what you could have done back in the day. What they should do with those long, elongated performances is, you know, this lady, good, fair play to her. She's recorded the whole thing. Yeah, great. Why doesn't she just do a cut down of all the different kids? Ben, you can buy, you know, the three minutes of Senor on.

You know, just edit it together. None of it makes sense. But at least you just see the moments where your kids are there. Exactly. Hey, I think you've solved that. And they'll look the same when they're in costume. Yeah, you're like, that's my kid. I'm sure I went along to a ballet recital and I was applauding a girl that wasn't even

called me. You're like, she has my daughter. Keep it up. That's Cash and Car. recital and I was applauding a girl that wasn't even calling me. I like jazz my daughter. Keep it up. That's Cash in Car. Guess how much cash we've stashed in the Škoda's boot

and drive it home along with all that money. Yes, Cash in Car, the brand new Škoda Kamek Monte Carlo car worth over $45,000.

It's a heck of a car and there's a heck of a lot of cash in the back of the car. If you know how much cash is stashed in the back of the Škoda's boot, you can drive it home today with all that money a heck of a lot of cash in the back of the car. If you know how much cash is stashed in the back of the Škoda's boot, you can drive it home today with all that money. Yeah, a lot of cash in that boot.

Remember in lockdown they had all the cordons and all the gang members were trying to ferry KFC between... That's right. Between Waka To and Auckland? Yeah. Well, I tell you what, if they pulled you over in this car with all this cash, there'd be questions asked, wouldn't there, Ben? Yeah.

That's how much is in there. Christina, you're on from Tauranga. Morena. Hey, morena. Good to have you on. High school teacher, they tell Yeah. That's how much is in there. Christina, you're on from Tauranga. Morena. Hey, morena. Good to have you on. High school teacher, they tell me. Yes, indeed. Yeah.

Is it a niggle teaching teenagers? It's interesting. It's really interesting. I think it's rewarding as well and has its challenges. Completely. Yeah. Yeah, well, good on you. You're doing it.

Shaping the future of our country. That's right. Doing better than what we're doing, whatever this is. You're far more meaningful to this country, Christina. Now, Alex, Cashkeeper Alex, who we've publicly stated that we now share a multi-layered, deep relationship with. She's on the line. She's waiting for your guess of how much is in the boot. Christina, have you pieced together clues?

I think I have. I think I have. What's been the most helpful clue for you so far, Christina? I think it was odd, you know, to make it an odd number, sorry. Yeah, I know the clue. Yeah. It was a very confusingly worded clue. But Cash Keeper Alex is standing by and waiting for your guest.

I'll hand you over. Christina from Tauranga, what is your guess for how much cash is in that car? My guess is $18,255 at $67. Okay. See some clues coming through there?

You've been working hard. So, Christina from Tauranga with a guess of $18,255.67. That is incorrect. I'm sorry. The way you paused, I was like, oh, my God, we got it. Yeah. I was like, have we lost God, we got it. Yeah. I was like, have we lost connection?

Yeah. Geez. No. Oh, the car was getting excited. Someone was about to hop inside it. Christina, I'm sorry. Hey, but this doesn't end here. You can have another stab.

Obviously, you can download the iHeartRadio app. Just push the microphone there, record your guess, your name and number on there, and Alex could be calling you back at 11 o'clock this morning. Awesome. Thanks, guys. Spilling the tea on Hollywood's A-listers. Kardashians. I have met every single one. Exposing scandals.

Because she's not a good person, but either is he. Digging the dirt. Is she a diva? Yes. And finding out what's going on behind the scenes. Yelling at cast members. Yes. It was a script. No. His identity is a secret. But his stories have been proven right time and time again. This is NT.

That's right. He's our Hollywood insider. If he was any more inside Hollywood, he would be what the movie stars are reverse sneezing up their noses. NT, come on down. How are you? How are you, boys? We're doing all right.

This is the last time we can talk about New Zealand's Dancing with the Stars. It's all over. Jazz won. I know, but we can start talking about MasterChef soon. Your voice is cross-upping, aren't you? It's so good. I mean, to have this whole Dancing with the Stars where somebody's like, oh, we got COVID.

Oh, well, you're welcome back. They get eliminated, but then somebody gets COVID, so they get to come back, and then you lost a judge for the finale. the finale oh don't worry we'll bring in some judge who wasn't there all season and uh congratulations to jen they never go to their way through an absolute shambles over the last six weeks it's fair to say i do love the random judge at the finish line as well i was gonna say alan after 19 years, her final show. Now, how do we feel? Because obviously some mixed feelings, I imagine, about Ellen,

because it's such an iconic show. 19 years, she gave over $400 million in donations to charity over the years and deserving winners. But obviously there was rumors around a hostile work environment. Yeah, it was pretty bad. But it wasn't until lockdown, when everybody really had nothing to do. And one of the former employees of the show said, here's why I hate Ellen, please join in. And then everybody joined in with their work experiences. And so it kind of took off and pretty much just forced her hand to where she was going to have to quit because her brand had become so toxic just not a nice person uh all these charity things that was the public front but behind the scenes even things where she'd go oh i saved this dog for you know and all this kind of stuff i can't wait to take the dog home and then she would either

try and return the dog or pass the dog off to somebody else who didn't really want it take this dog you're on your own certain level of employees weren't allowed to talk to her directly you had to be at a certain level before you were allowed to and it was like when you got to be that level they were like now you're allowed to talk to ellen it just what kind of work can you imagine just you guys walking down the hall of the radio station or whatever let's say you know interns not allowed to talk to you but when they finally get hired then you're allowed to talk to donald well that's the rules everyone knows them everyone abides by them have you met have you met ellen is she actually a terrible person when you meet her i have met her several times and we also generally uh there's a place where she frequently has lunch where i frequently have lunch and it's

a very tiny place i don't know she always kind of rubs me the place where she frequently has lunch, where I frequently have lunch, and it's a very tiny place. I don't know. She always kind of rubs me the wrong way. She always has to have a certain table in this restaurant where she can kind of view everybody like she's the biggest star in there when she's not, usually. She's always kind of rubbed me the wrong way, but I can't honestly say that I have had horrible interactions with her. I just go by everybody who had to work with her on a daily basis. And a lot of it's, you know, Ben, you said this before, people have bad days. Do you think maybe some of these interns or people that were working on the Ellen show caught her on a bad day?

Well, maybe she was busy. She was a lot going on, you know, just playing devil's advocate here. Well, it's kind of like what you guys said at the beginning, though, hostile work environment. I mean, there's plenty of people who left because they said that they encountered racism and then they would go to their boss or they, you know, sexual harassment. They would go to the boss and they got they received nothing. It was just and so eventually they would just quit. Now, is that on Ellen? This is the question, right?

It's her name on the show. She's the one who's, you know, doing the hiring of the people who are doing the hiring. Is Ellen being racist to somebody? No. Is Ellen sexually harassing somebody? No, not really, although there's been some alleged instances. But it's just this environment. At the end of the day, it's her name on the show.

I guess that's the separation, isn't it, between the name of the show and the person and her role in that environment. I mean, I imagine Ellen wasn't across, you know, annual leave and HR issues, you know, but then it's all wrapped into one, given it's her brand. But also, everything kind of felt disingenuous with Ellen, but that's kind of the part of a talk show host, is just to make people laugh

or to make people do whatever. I'm not going to ask any questions that are going to be polarizing and things like that. And her replacement is not going to do any earth shattering changes or anything. It's going to be the same kind of talk show. Kelly Clarkson. Yes. Kelly Oakey. She actually feels genuine.

You know, that's something that I think people really identify with. Yeah, she would film one of those videos. If I say, hey, it's my mate Ben's birthday, I'll just film you saying happy birthday, and then I'd fumble around for a bit. I would accidentally stop recording and go, oh, can you do another one? She would do that.

She would do that, you're right. She would. NT, you are an absolute champion, as always. Great catching up with you, mate. And we'll catch you next week, buddy. Next week, you guys. Take care. If they were the internet, you'd want to clear this history.

Jono and Ben on the hits. I love an auction. I can't imagine you'd be comfortable in the auction environment, Ben. No, I found it awkward, the auction. Yeah. No, I didn't go to, like, I got a house for auction, and my wife went, and I didn't go. Yeah, no, you couldn't do it.

I'm not a safe pair of hands in that. No, you would be. Yeah. I'm not a safe pair of hands in that. No, you would be. Yeah. We were talking to a friend of ours and she had just over the weekend gone to her son's school auction. Now, gee, I tell you what, the school auction, that's a wild affair. Wild affair where the system takes full advantage of intoxicated parents that don't get out much.

You know, all sorts of stuff goes on in the school auction. Exactly. So she said, she was sitting at a table of people. She wanted to look like she was going to get involved in the auction. Because at some stage you do want to bid, but not necessarily win the bid. No one actually ever wants to win. But you want to look like you're participating. So she did the thing where, okay, I'll chuck some bids in,

in the hope that I get outbid And then I back off But I've looked like I've played the game Of supporting the school So she jumped in there with a couple of bids The auction, it stalls It stalls on her last bid We're talking six, seven hundred bucks

For, I don't know Was it like a G-string signed by the All Blacks in 1995 or something? I don't know what it was Yeah it was lessons or something. It's always the most random memorabilia as well, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, I do like the, your kid will be the principal for the day. But not actually.

No way we're making decisions on that. Because I'll be like, okay, when you go in there, you're making some changes. Sack the entire thing. That's what you need to do day one. No, but she ended up winning the auction. And then the unfortunate thing was that when she went to pay, her card declined. So then the person next to her was like,

don't worry, I'll pay for your kid to be the principal for the day or whatever, $600. And then so then they won the auction inadvertently that she had bid for. And she felt terrible. And a couple of weeks later, we had to hand over the money. Pay them back. Yeah, pay them guilt guilt money i remember going to a school auction walked away with a three-story dollhouse did you yeah barely fit into the back seat of the uber yeah you got caught up in the madness yeah it was uh one of those silent ones too where again you want to look like you're playing the game you write it down on a piece of paper and walk away and then no one else wrote on

the piece of paper some years ago i uh I got roped in to play in this, it was like a charity celebrity football game. I don't know, I think they were struggling for numbers because I was classed as a celebrity. But at the end of the thing, they- No, maybe you were the charity bit. You decide your tops. There were some great celebrities there

and they auctioned them off. And that was an awkward thing going, oh God, my tops is not- Were you in the room? Yeah, I had to leave. I leave i was like i can't watch it can't be here because obviously some of these tops from proper celebrities and sports people went for quite a lot and so my good mate my mate of mine he put it on it and he paid like 200 for a top of mine that he'll never wear i could have signed a top for him like any time on a t-shirt yeah but yeah i was like did he do it out of i don't want you to feel bad yeah i know soshirt? Yeah, but yeah, I was like, good on him. Did he do it out of, I don't want you to feel bad?

Yeah, I know. So how awesome was that? But then how bad did he feel paying $200 for? Exactly. And I was like, oh yeah, I'll pay you back half of that. No, no, yeah, I didn't. Half? Pay him the whole thing?

You're a tight ass. He's just, he's still got a top out of it. He's still got a top. I don't get to keep the top. He just saved your credibility in front of the, oh yeah, I'll pay you back half, hey mate. We'll go halvesies on that one. Well don't get to get the top He just saved your credibility In front of the Oh yeah I'll pay back half We'll go halfsies on that one Well he gets to keep the top

I don't get it The big boy signature age top Exactly It's quite the kind 0800 The hits telephone number We want to get this On New Zealand's breakfast

Auction blowouts What's happened at the auction Could be house auctions Kids auctions Fundraising auctions Rugby auctions Netball club Whatever

0800 the hits is the phone number 4487 is our text Love to hear from you Anytime We'll do that Rugby house auctions, kids auctions, fundraising auctions, rugby club. Trade me auctions. Netball club, whatever. 100 The Hits is the phone number. 4487 is our text. Love to hear from you any time. We'll do that after Kelly Clarkson. 828 The Hits. Jono and Ben. We're talking when things go wrong at the auction.

There's many auctions. School auctions, trade me auctions, house auctions. And it can go wrong very badly, very quickly. Great text here, 4487. This wasn't me, but it was a customer who purchased a motor vehicle at an online auction and he claims, he phoned up the next day, that his dog pushed the buy now button. I mean, dogs are pretty smart.

They are smart. That guy, Mark Vettie in New Zealand, taught a dog to fly a plane, so maybe it could bid on an auction. He's like, hey, we're going EV soon, mate. You've got to buy now. Get in there quick. We'll get Annie on the phone.

Welcome. Kia ora. Kia ora to you. Accidental auctions. What happened? It wasn't me, but it was my partner. After a night out on the beers, he's accidentally won an auction for a car on Trade Me.

Did he wake up the next morning and realise what had happened? Yeah, and had to figure out a way to go get the car quite hungover. So he got the car in the end? Yeah, his car had broken down at the time, so he was looking for them. He just wasn't expecting to win an auction so soon. You never do. No. You never do. You never do

expect. And how are you with the on-the-spot car purchase? I think I was the one that had to drop him off to go get it. You're like, you're what? And you were drinking? What is going on? Hell of a walk of shame to the next morning to buy your new car. Thank you, Annie. Appreciate that. Now, we had something

closer to home, Ben, last week. Yeah, there was an auction here I think they had at work. They were doing a silent auction for charity in the building and you go along to reception and bid on the silent auction for raised money. But then, when all the things were bought, they emailed everyone in the entire building, I think

2,000 people, saying how much and who won and how much they paid. So it went from silent to public pretty quickly and someone who was named in the email was head of the ACC, the Alternative Commentary Collective. The sporty part of the building. The sporty part of the building, you know, and he was outed as winning a pamper pack,

and Mike Lane joins us now. Now, look, look, okay, when you go into a silent auction, okay, what I presume a silent auction is, is that it's silent, not the fact that you bid on an item and then your items you won with your name,

the amount that you bid gets sent to the entire company, okay? Everyone. A public shaming. Now you went in, you know, silent auction, it does lend itself to being silent. Yeah. You know, nothing's going to be said. This is done discreetly.

It's like a fight club. No one talks about it, right? Yeah, you purchase yourself a pamper pack for your partner. Well, there he is. I got the pamper pack and I got the Bo Ronga jewellery set as well. So I doubled down. Wonderful collection. Yeah.

But the worst thing is, I win them. And obviously the whole company, all 2,000 people get sent the winners list. And immediately, I reckon, within a millisecond of it going out, my inbox is full of people going, trouble at home?

I was like... You never want to be publicly shamed as a pamper Pack purchaser. You want to do that in silence. That's right, because you're the head of the ACC here in the building. You've got credibility you upholstered. And there was a Bowdoin Barrett signed sports ball. A rugby ball was part of the auction.

But no, no, no, that's not what you won. You won the Pamper Pack. You know what, though? I was trying to get my cred back with the Bowdoin Barrett signed ball, and bloody goddamn Tony Street beat me to it. But she doesn't have a flawless complexion, though. No, no, not like you. Love it, mate.

Hey, thanks, mate. No, sorry. See you, mate. Another text here, 4487. Just said the weekend at a Play Centre fundraiser, I want a vasectomy for my husband. He would have been happy with that one when he got home. Thanks for your calls and texts.

It is the Hits. You've got Jono and Ben, 8.35. One great way to make the morning commute a little more stressful. Jono and Ben on The Hits. Now, I know we're waiting for the verdict, aren't we, in the Amber Heard and Johnny Depp trial. He was playing on stage with Jeff Buckley in England. I know, which seemed unusual that he'd travelled overseas

and now he's on stage, he appeared on stage. There's been a lot of talk about who's lying, who's not lying over the duration of the case. And I was reading about this yesterday, and boy, oh boy, Ben, send out the search party, because I was a lost little child on the internet yesterday. Jonas Internet Wormhole. And I just Googled liars yesterday

and there was amazing, 52 amazing facts about the art of lying, Ben. All right. Now, I could be lying to you with these facts. You'll never know. Wouldn't that be the ultimate trick? Yeah. But people, more often than not,

will lie in writing writing emails, texts, chat groups and stuff because it's easier to get away with. You're not having to face the person. I can imagine so. Like people using excuses for not going to something. Oh, the amount of stuff I've spun over email. I'm like, oh, sorry, I didn't see this email. I saw the email.

Couldn't be bothered doing it. You've done the same. Oh, this got lost. How does an email get lost? Everyone sees the email. Not always. Not always. And we all, people like to go, I'm not a liar. I don't lie. Well, you do. On average,

every person lies at least seven times a day. Potentially when people go, how are you feeling today? Oh, I'm good, thanks. When you're not good. Well, that's true. I mean, it's not a bad lie.

Yeah, well, that's the thing. I feel like lying maybe is a really bad thing. It's like bending of the truth. There's such a grey area, isn't there? Because you lie not to hurt people's feelings as well. Yeah. And then you lie to get what you want. People are like, be honest with me.

Then you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, don't be too honest with me. I'm going to say that jacket doesn't match your eyes. You know, yeah. You don't want blatant, blatant honesty, do you? Also,

apparently, the biggest place that people lie is when they're on holiday. So, all those Americans who have come over here, told us

that we have the most beautiful country in the world. I'm starting to question it, Ben. Really? Why on holiday? I guess you can get away with more? Well, there's no, you know, you don't know anyone. Oh, you've got a beautiful country. It's absolutely a hairpop. Yeah, this is what I do for a job. No one's going to Google it. Yeah. I mean, has anyone

gone to Stewart Island? Hey, hey. Have you gone there? And said it's not a beautiful place? Because it is. Thank you. It's so beautiful. We sent Prince Harry there to have a look.

Exactly, we did, didn't we? And he didn't regret that at all. Did he leave the Royals not long after that? And also, it's easier to spot lies when they're being told to an ugly person. Apparently, it's harder to lie to a beautiful person. So, Ben, my question for you is how much stuff have you been telling this weathered, beaten up face you look at every day?

I'll send you an email and tell you it's easier that way. I'll fly to another country and send you an email. That's really interesting facts in an internet wormhole. The Hits. For more podcasts from The Hits Network, check out iHeartRadio.co.nz.