Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: Any Excuse For Jono To Leave A Party Early.

Episode Date: July 28, 2022

Today on the Jono and Ben Podcast, Jono discusses his habit of frequently leaving party's without saying goodbye, Ben chats about his daughter's mishap with mosquito repellent and Laura Mcgoldrick joins us to chat about the Commonwealth Games!   Follow @thehitsbreakfast on Facebook and Instagram for all of our latest content!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits with the Jono and Ben podcast. 29th of July. Kia ora, welcome. It's the podcast. Oh, we're doing dry July, sorry. I was going to say, you've only got a couple more days to go. Sorry. Or maybe you want to carry on and continue doing that. That's your choice. That's right, you're a wetter judge.

Or maybe you're just going, oh, that beer in the fridge or that wine is looking good right now. Maybe. Have it now. Yeah. Have it right now, whatever time of day it is. Oh, well, yeah. Well, not yet, if you don't dry July. But it's over to you.

Ironically, dry July and the wettest July ever on New Zealand record. It is. A lot of people doing dry July, but you're right, it is the wettest. The memo didn't get sent to Mother Nature, did it? Just watching the opening ceremony as we record this of the commie games, not the communist games where basically you go against the government and you're never heard of and no one ever hears from you again. The Commonwealth Games.

Joel, producer Joel, who's new to the show this week, you actually raised a good point. As an athlete, you'd be torn coming out, wouldn't you? Because you've noticed a lot of people filming on their cell phone, a lot of the athletes filming on their cell phones. Yeah. It's an interesting one, yeah, because i guess it's like going to a concert like you really want to live in the moment but you also want to make sure you can capture this amazing incredible moment to look back at and i'm sore for social media yeah well thankfully thankfully just i'm no expert it looks like there's probably about 72 high definition television

cameras capturing the whole event that's what i the whole event that you could look back on. But that's not just you, though, is it? That's the event you were part of. No, but these are professional camera operators. They've got it all. They've got you on camera and your shaky handheld cell phone footage. How's that going to compare? That's true.

Run the mice guy over at mum back at home. I think you've got your little Look this is where we walked Out the tunnel This is what we I'm a shocker We're at a concert I'm a video

I take videos And I take photos A lot of them I don't look back on I mean I do make a photo book At the end of the year So I'm a bit of a nerd like that That you then burden

Your family with I do But then yeah right I've got like Choose up like videos If you want to see Macklemore singing You know The ceiling can't hold us And stuff like that right, I've got like, choose something like videos. If you want to see Macklemore singing, you know, The Ceiling Can't Hold Us and stuff like that, you know, I've got that.

Not a great quality too because, you know, it's all over, but I've got that in there. I'm like, I'll look back on this, but I probably won't. Videos definitely clog up your thing, but you do like to be, I don't know why you feel like you need to. But it's always so distorted, isn't it? It is, it is. Yeah.

And the lights are blowing out they can't because your camera lens can't handle the intensity of the concert lights and it never looks as good no as when you're there but you're right i mean when uh do you post it on social media in the moment do you oh now and again i post the odd little thing but you don't want to put like 19 videos of a whole concert on there well i don't think so but you still i think the best ones are when i guess people have had a few drinks on like a Friday night. They're at a concert and they don't realise that their microphone is picking up them singing.

And then I've seen it before. Someone's got like a five-minute Instagram story and you can pretty much hear them singing. And the ceiling can't hold us! And the ceiling can't hold us! That was my video. You guys liked it. I'm sure you guys both liked it.

It was Red N nose day today here in new zealand and ulta to our international audience we were uh you know we do our part for charity don't we well we don't even play we don't do anything for charity no but it's nice to do this it's a great cause i was gonna say though on the international audience you know john from portland our u.s correspondent we call him um yeah he listens from overseas a few people that do so it's awesome to have you there. But he's up to date. He emailed me over the holiday break

and he was like, I'm all up to date now. He's caught up to date with the podcast. Oh, because he fell in. He slipped behind, but I was like, well, just three weeks behind. Sick up two weeks,

he just catched back up. But he was like... It's not stranger things, mate. There's no complex storyline. You're like, what's happened? Unless they got rid of one of us halfway through, that would be a bit like

oh what if Jotto or Ben spoiler alert one of us disappears in about four weeks oh we've got producer Joel he's here now he's new

but you know that's not too hard to get your head around hopefully but your mum does the same she binges she binges the podcast on long drives

yeah she loves a drive she loves a drive around the country like she's always off she's always down south she's driving around she's on the west coast I'm in winter no no I'm up in blue and then she loves a drive around the country like she's always off she's always down south he's driving around she's on the west coast i'm in winter no no i'm not gonna go and then she loves that loves that i think it's a boomer thing they love to go i'll call in oh we're staying i don't know i will call and we've got some friends that we haven't seen for 20 years we'll call in

and stay like the friends probably like oh yeah that's what i'm thinking yeah hey g'day we're like, oh. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Hey, g'day, we're in the town. Can we come stay? Yeah, we'd kind of forgotten about you, to be honest. Yeah. Just for a coffee? I was thinking, could we stay the night? The night? The night.

Okay, yeah. But she does, she loves it. She loves the drawing. I'm sure the people she's visiting love it as well they do they're of that age

you know when we're older we'll love it too come and visit yeah I'll show you I remember this video I was at the

Macklemore concert back in 2020 well anyway enjoy the podcast had a fun show today and you look after yourselves over the weekend yeah

yeah we'll be back Monday Jono and Ben the bold and the beautiful. On their heads. Note, may not be beautiful. There was something that I've mocked you about for many, many years now, and I saw something.

Hair loss? I'm trying to figure out what it was during that Walker Hayes song. It's been 10 to 15 years of mockery. But this has been saving you years of your life. According to this, now this seems like it maybe is a comedy meme, but there might be some truth to it as well. It says that people who leave parties without saying goodbye save up to two years per year from their life.

Now, I think it's a gag. Two years per year? Two days per year. Oh, two days per year. Sorry, yeah. But I feel like it's a gag. Either that or people go to a lot of parties. Yeah, I can't remember the last party I went to.

I haven't been invited to a party. Yeah, it's one of my greatest greatest party trick is uh just disappearing from a party uh i'll say to you i'm going to the toilet and you're like you're going yeah i know i know now but that's why i get i do get it i get why you do it because when you do say goodbye sometimes i think people's like oh no stay for 10 oh no do this thing away you know it's just yeah I don't like to like I know I like to make it all about myself on the radio but in IRL bro I just I like to

blend in I just like to be a person in the corner just weirdly watching and so and also if you say goodbye you gotta go around and say goodbye to

everyone yeah oh we'll catch up whatever no we're gonna do none of this stuff yeah we're all hammered

right now so I see why you do it but according to this report which I think is a gag, but I guess you would save some time and save a lot of awkward conversations. Do you know my best one that I did? Remember the stag do? Oh, yeah. Producer Joel, now you're new to the show.

You might have heard this. This was a hurler. So it was a daytime stag do that I was on for a friend. And, you know, I had a fun time. It was good. It was sort of a late afternoon evening. you know, I had a fun time. It was good. It was sort of a late afternoon evening. And those, for some reason, all the lads are like, mate, we've got to get on at 7am.

We're meeting at 7am. The boat's going out the fishing, mate. We're doing it all. Doing it all. So it'd be like 7 till 4.35. I'm like, this has been, I feel fulfilled. My cup has been filled for this day. So we're in this bar.

And I was like, okay, where are the escape routes here? What can I do? What can I do? And went to the toilet. There was no exit in the toilet. So I was thinking, oh, maybe I could, there might be a window or something there, and there wasn't. So what I did find, though, was there was kind of like a function room off to the side,

and we're from the main bar. So I was like, okay, what I can do instead of saying goodbye to everyone i was like i'll go out the function room there's kind of a balcony on the edge of the function room okay but then so i went out of the function and i was dangling off the balcony because it's two-story but what are you what are you doing like an escape from prison so i'm swinging off the edge of this balcony. And then I hear, mate, what are you doing? And I was like, uh-oh, that's a familiar voice. And, you know, it was three or four of the stag party attendees. And below me was a sort of a courtyard of sorts where the rest of,

not only the stag do, but the entire pub there who are having lunch were sitting there as they're looking up at me dangling off What time was this? It was 4.35 so early evening people were just you know they were enjoying What's old mate doing? Look at that track I'm going to jump down

I think it was just a drop into the bush roll off and then run, sprint Pretend it never happens. Scrolling through your feed. Hey, Commonwealth Games starts tonight, but the only sport he's interested in is news, which is why he's never made the team. Well, actually, Commonwealth Games is interested in that.

It starts in the opening ceremony. It starts in about an hour's time this morning. The Queen's going to miss the Commonwealth Games opening ceremony in Birmingham. Prince Charles and Camilla are going to go along in her place. It's one of the first ones she's missed in a wee while

but you understand she's waiting to die. Can't be bothered. Do you feel like Charles is going to be like one of those times you hear about those people that go for the promotion

at work and they're like this promotion's mine. This is what I'm going to get. I've done all the hard yards. I'm going to the opening ceremony and then it's going to be given to someone else. You know those stories that happen in the office? I was doing to get. I've done all the hard yards. I'm going to the open and then it's going to be given to someone else. You know those stories that happen in the office?

I watched Slug McGuitz. Do you know how many people I trampled over to get to this position? And then it gets given to someone else. Like William. Yeah, exactly. It feels like that's going to be one of those occasions, right? Birmingham looks amazing. They've done a brilliant job from what I've seen on the news there. And you've got your

Mick Roberts over there, News Hub. Daniel Whaitawa from One News is over there as well. They're over there talking to Kiwis and stuff. Kiwis with all their face painted with a silver fern. Everyone's really getting in behind it. I guess because of the pandemic, there hasn't been a lot of, you know, big world events that you can go to and support. So it's awesome.

But unfortunately, we've had our first withdrawal of a Kiwi athlete. Ainsley Thorpe had to withdraw from the individual women's race in the triathlon because of COVID-19. Oh, that sucks. Imagine how long she's been training for that. It does suck. But it seems weird. There's another race that she's up for on Sunday, and they reckon that maybe she could be available there. So I think the rules must be totally different over there, the UK, as far as COVID goes compared to what it is over here.

So she may be able to race on Sunday, but she has to miss the race today. The rules should just be don't tell anyone you've got it. That's odd like that. Let's just plough on, guys. I feel like that's got to be the rules. So many people are doing that already. How many people are registering with the health line?

Now, Austin Butler did a great job being Elvis in Baz Luhrmann's Elvis movie. It's one of the biggest movies of the year. But he was reduced to tears by the director, Baz. Because there's a bit in the movie where Elvis gets heckled on stage, and Baz was like, well, hey, we really want him to feel what it's like to be heckled. So he was quite nervous, got the role as Elvis, and he was going to be recording some, you know, in one of the studios I think Elvis actually recorded in,

one of his first recordings. He was like, oh, I'm going to go and record for the first time. So Bass gets a whole lot of movie execs to come on in and start heckling him, start heckling him before his performance. He said he went home, he had a bit of a cry, reduced to tears. And he was like, oh, I'll put myself back up, get back in there. And yeah, he got back in there and got through it. And see, when he got to film the scene where he got haggled,

he was like, I know exactly what this was like. And he kind of prepared him in a weird way for it. Oh, I was going to say, because if he went home and cried, well, that was not on the movie. No. That was pointless, heckling. And prepared him for the scene. So he could draw from that experience, I see.

But at least, you know, he's a great actor. I'm sure he could have pretended to draw from that experience without actually feeling what it's like to be heckled. Well, we get heckled. I mean, all you need to do is look at the Hits text machine every morning. We get a wonderful heckling every morning as well. It keeps you grounded. Keeps you humble.

Well, Leonardo DiCaprio, who's worked with Baz Luhrmann before, he warned him. He warned Austin Butler. He said he's going to push you in ways you didn't know somebody could. He's going to push you off balance and keep you off balance. So watch out. And even so he cried. There's a fine line between workplace bullying

and directing. If they were the internet, you'd want to clear this history. Jono and Ben, on the hits. You brought this to our attention the other day. A courier delivering a package to a house and he sat down and, outside the house, and he sat down outside the house, and he sat down on a cactus, the poor guy. And it was all captured on the home security camera,

which the owner kindly just put on the internet. Yeah, have a listen. Oh, my God. Oh, that's in there. He proceeds to pull all of the cactus spikes out, one by one, going, ouch, ouch, ouch. And I just love it. He's talking to himself.

He's the only one there. Come on, you can do this. You can do this. Oh, my God. That's in there. Yeah. What a tale of survival there. So we did get talking yesterday about what you've sat on.

And Joe phoned through with, oh, just a disastrous tale about what happened. It can only be labeled disastrous, about what happened to her friend. She was out on a very swanky cocktail night with a man that she'd just met and his fancy professional friends. They went to a bar after the do. She had a white strapless long cocktail dress on. Oh, you love a swanky cocktail evening. Yeah, so she was there, had quite a few drinks, had a bit of an upset

tummy, thought, uh-oh, went to the bathroom, came back, they were standing in a little group with their drinks, and everyone was like, oh my god, what's that smell? And they were like, I don't know. Oh, it's really bad, let's move around the other side. So they moved a few times, and then someone looked at the back of her dress, and she

had obviously not pulled her dress up properly in the toilet and it was just this massive brown stain. Oh no. And she was absolutely mortified. Oh you would be. Why are you telling me? She had moved several times.

She ran out absolutely just beside herself and right in front of the window of the bar when they're all looking out she hailed a taxi, put her arm in the air and her dress came down. What an unfortunate series of events. The dress fell off?

Yeah, a series of very unfortunate events there. Those are two low blows that the universe is... Yeah, the level one wasn't bad enough, the dress falling down. Why did the dress have to fall down? Together they're the ultimate cluster, aren't they? Oh my goodness me. So did the relationship continue on fall down? Together they're the ultimate cluster, aren't they? Oh my goodness me. So did the relationship continue on after that?

No, no. It's like, let's never see each other again. No, that person no longer existed. Oh my goodness. Can we spare a thought too? I was just thinking about this driving home yesterday for the taxi driver. So does she get charged a soilage?

Because, I mean, the soiling has already taken place. Do you get charged a soilage fee if you then enter? Surely you're helping out someone in that. You're just like, in that position, you'd be like, look, this is what's happened. I've arrived pre-soiled. Can we waive the fee? I've lost the dress.

The dress is, you know, like, it's been a horror. Just please take me home. You know, you're not charging. Silence. I don't want any words said to me. No one's talking. No one's saying anything. No, I don't think we can beat that,

because that was one of the most amazing calls we've ever had. But we're going to throw it out there. Let's give it a go. It's Friday. Why not? 0800 the hits, 4487. What did you accidentally sit on? What did you sit on?

What have you sat on? Maybe you're sitting on $20 million worth of Bitcoin. A container load of legitimate watches coming from Thailand. I don't know. Yeah. What are you sitting on $20 million worth of Bitcoin. I contain a load of legitimate watches coming from Thailand. I don't know. What are you sitting on? Mature, responsible, and considerate. Three words we sadly can't use here. Jono and Ben on the hits.

We're talking this morning, what have you accidentally sat on? Yeah, we've got Andrew joining us on 0800 The Hits from Ipikaga. What did you sit on? I sat on a cactus at the end of the bath that Mum put there when I was a kid. Oh, so you did, like the courier driver, you sat on a cactus? Yeah, and then she said, that'll make you sit up and take notice.

Oh, so your mother, what a monstrous move, placing cactuses around the bath. Yeah. I reckon. So what, I mean, I can imagine it's excruciating, it's very painful, but does it leave little needles in your behind? Oh, it was a real prick of a thing to have.

Literally. Real pain in the ass. Now, can I ask you, clothed, unclothed at the time? I'm getting out of the bath. Oh, so no fabric, no underpants, no shorts, no nothing? Nothing. Oh, that's... The bare essentials.

The bare cheese. I don't... I know cactuses would serve a purpose in the life cycle of the universe. I know they've got their place. I was particularly seeing in the desert. I don't know what they do there, but they're always in the desert, right? Yeah, but I mean, why? I mean, why, Andrew, did you need one on the edge of your bath and in the cargo?

My dear old mother put it there. They seem obviously they're quite protective of themselves. Why do they need to be so protective? What are they hiding? Yeah, what are they hiding? Why are you so prickly, Cactus? Well, Andrew, thank you very much. First hand, pain-wise, on a scale of... Oh, God,

now I've got to come up with a scale. Off the scale. Off the scale. I didn't even have to come up with a scale. Good on you, Andrew. Have a good one. Jono with us on 0800 The Hits. What have you said on, Jono? When I was six at primary school, we had a time in the classroom where we all sat in a big circle and one by one we'd have to stand

up and the teacher was telling us what she admired about each individual student, something personal and whatnot. And I came around to my turn, so you know, something personal and whatnot. And I came around to my turn, so, you know, I stood up all proud and whatnot. And meanwhile, the kid that was sitting next door to me had reached into the little tote tray sitting behind us and managed to ruffle up about half a dozen pencils. And, yeah, basically was just holding them in place

right for where I was about to sit. Oh, you sat down on half a dozen pencils. Oh, that is... I didn't quite sit on them. It was more the case that once I'd been given my praise from the teacher, I was so sort of proud of myself. Instead of just sitting down like a normal person would, I kind of just let myself drop to the floor and...

Oh, wow. High velocity onto some pencils. I mean, they stick in. That was, yeah, my butt cheek kind of looked like the side of a golf ball for about a week. Yeah, it was one of those moments where, like, now whenever I watch cartoons or anything with people and, you know, and Bugs Bunny gets stuck in the bum with a pitchfork

and everyone's cracking up, I'm kind of sitting there thinking, I feel your pain, buddy. This is not as funny. Monstrous move from your classmate, too. The other one they used to do was when you go to sit down, they pull the chair out from underneath you. That's right. There's no recovery from that, is there?

No, there's not. You're always that kid after that. School is just like a miniature prison. Yeah, it is. A slightly less violent prison. Old school bullying. Old school bullying. Old school bullying made us who we are today, guys.

Yeah, maybe it's a good thing it's not around, that's for sure. Good on you, Jono. Hey, thanks for your call, mate. No worries, man. Cheers, bud. Such a great call, eh? The Hits. They're not afraid to use the F word.

Be family friendly fun. Jono and Ben on The Hits. Jono and Ben. And today, of of course Red Nose Day, Cure Kids biggest annual appeal day raising funds for child health research in New Zealand if you want to support Red Nose Day. The easiest way to do it is text red to 4487 and we'll send you

a link. That'll bounce back a link to so how you can donate from there. You take a moment and think about what some families are going through absolutely and you know the majority of new zealand families don't have to be put through this but there are people over there who have just had their lives turned flipped turned upside down yeah totally and people that don't you know the families that don't know what's wrong with their kids and you know it's uh it's very unusual things that are happening so that's why then we need more money for help out the research to help out a lot more families around

new zealand that's right we've got natalia from reclaim waste management happy red nose day natalia thank you hello how are you how red is your nose like on just a daily uh daily update i'm gonna be honest during summer probably pretty every yeah? But in the winter and all this rain, not very often. Although you can get a cold sort of, you know, your nose can get a bit red nose as well. That's a very red part of my body in the nose for some reason. The reddest part of my... Ben, you don't have a red nose. You've got an evenly skin-coloured nose.

All right. Yeah, it blends in beautifully with your cheeks. But Natalia, we're not here to talk about the redness of your nose. Are we not? No, we're not. You're not? That talk about the redness of your nose. Are we not? No, we're not. You're not? That's not why, yeah. Because it is Red Nose Day, Raising Money for Cure Kids,

which is a fantastic organization. As you mentioned already today on the show, Jono, it's about giving money for research to help out kids. Yeah, kids who have illnesses where there is no cure. So this funds the scientific research and development for the medicines and the treatment needed for these little battlers. And Natalia, you work at Reclaim Waste Management, and let's waste no more time.

How much are you donating, baby? We're donating $3,000 today. Wow. What? That's awesome. Yes. Reclaim is quite passionate about sustainability, and obviously kids are the future of the nation,

so it's only appropriate that we support such a great cause. Oh, that is, what a lovely donation, $3,000. Now, working at Waste Management, can I have a little chat with you? Please. You run the, no, it's not a complaint, by the way. It sounded like it. Well, I've got your ear. All right, Karen, what have you got?

You know, you've got your curbside rubbish bins. Yes. Am I allowed to deposit my rubbish in my neighbour's bin? I wouldn't recommend, just for neighbourly practices, you know, obviously you don't want to blame them for your rubbish. But ideally, Jono, you need to be focusing on reducing how much rubbish you're putting in the bin. Yeah. Stop coming back to your message, mate.

Yeah, it's all about reducing it, right? Because my other complaint was, I don't know who your track driver is who comes down my street, but every time he empties my recycling bin, he makes too much noise with all the Heineken bottles. Can you just get him to remove them one by one? It's not what we're doing. We're not reducing the noise. That's for sure. We're trying to reduce our waste as well.

Hey, that is so awesome. Thank you so much from Reclaim. It's amazing. No, thank you guys for the opportunity of chatting this and obviously for supporting this great cause. There you go. And your Reclaim Waste Management. There's Natalia.

Three grand. Yeah, they're bloody legends., saving the environment and helping save, hopefully, a whole lot of kids as well. Reclaim.co.nz. A-grade celebrity chat with C-grade celebrity hosts. Jono and Ben on the hits. Each week we catch up with our Hollywood insider. And he's a guy, we don't even know his real name without a word of a lie.

No, he sort of goes anonymous. I hate that word. Anonymous. Oh, no, not both of us. Enty is all we know, an entertainment lawyer over there in the States, and he dishes the dirt on celebrities each week. Spilling the tea on Hollywood's A-listers. Kardashians.

I have met every single one. Exposing scandals. Because she's not a good person, but either is he. Digging the dirt. Is she a diva? Yes. And finding out what's going on behind the scenes. Yelling at cast members.

Yes. It was a script. No. His identity is a secret. But his stories have been proven right time and time again. This is Ante. Yes, we head to Hollywood where there are hills, a lot of white powder, but no snow for some reason. Ante. Something I was thinking of on vacation. Hollywood, where there are hills, a lot of white powder, but no snow for some reason. Auntie.

Yeah, something I was thinking of on vacation. I've got a pair of swimming togs with fresh prints on it. And I was like, well, can I wear these? I mean, what's happened to Will Smith? Where is he these days? What's going on? Well, you must have bought those like 30 years ago. I've seen them.

They're shorts and like a button-up shirt. Like, I'll tell you why. No, you can't wear them because they're ugly. They've got Calvin on it. They've got Will Smith on it. They're very bright. Take the Will Smith scandal aside. It's a horrible outfit. They're very 90s.

But anyway, can I wear these shorts? What's happened to Will Smith? What's going on? You know, the last time I think anybody has seen him was in India. He hasn't been publicly spotted, I believe, since April other than that trip to India. Meanwhile, Jada is still doing like a red table talk. She's been around and everything. It feels like, hey, let's take a break. Let's not see each other for a while. There was a bunch of publicity stories that said, oh, Will's getting all these offers and people just can't wait for him to be in their movies. And you can just tell from that that it is a bunch of BS because of the

fact that what's he going to do? He's going to go be in a movie. The thing is, actors are not paid for their acting. They're paid for their publicity, for their promotional skills, right? Tom Cruise is paid as much money as he is because he's willing to do anything when it comes to publicity. Adam Sandler is willing to do anything when it comes to publicity like that. Will Smith, if he goes and he has interviews, everybody's going to say, oh, well, what happened at the Oscars? And what is this? And what have you been doing? And it would just become a really depressing kind of round of interviews and stuff. So I doubt he's getting a lot of big, big offers.

I think he's doing the right thing. Stay of sight let it run its course but what he really should do in my opinion is make some kind of tiktok video with chris rock where they're doing something funny it seems in this day and age for someone of that caliber to go off the grid would be near impossible now quick question who's the most famous person you've seen since we last spoke for someone of that caliber to go off the grid would be near impossible. Now, quick question. Who's the most famous person you've seen since we last spoke? Since we last spoke? Yeah.

I saw Jeff Daniels last night. Do you talk to him or you just see him passing? Actually, I just saw him in passing last night. I was at a grocery store in Malibu, and he was in the parking lot talking to his dogs as he was getting into the car, and I go, wait a second, that Dumb and Dumber, that's Jeff Daniels. So that's the most famous person I've seen since I've talked to you, I believe.

Do they all do their own supermarket shopping, these people? Would you whip down to your version of Pack and Save and see Brad Pitt there in the produce aisle or something? Yeah, you know, maybe not Brad Pitt, but there's a, I don't know what you guys have the equivalent of, but it's Target, so it's kind of a grocery store, kind of regular kind of clothing store, everything kind of store. I've seen probably a dozen Oscar winners in that Target. Who's the most famous person you've seen shopping in Target?

The most famous person I saw shopping in Target was probably Amy Adams I've seen in that Target. I've seen Joe Jonas in that Target. Why would you waste money on sending some, paying someone to go to Target for you when you go to Target yourself? Exactly. And you want to see if it's the coffee maker you like. Yeah. I just want to have a quick chat with you about Thor. Is it winning the box office over there?

You know, it's not winning the box office. I believe that it's probably right now it's the sixth biggest movie of 2022. But nobody's going to catch Top Gun this year as far as, I mean, Top Gun's probably double of what Thor is. I think they're across the $1.3 billion. Wow. On the international. Yeah. That is, because a lot of the actors,

they sign on to the movies. I know Robert Downey Jr. did it with all of the Avengers ones, where he takes a percentage cut, doesn't he, of the overall ticket sales. Did Cruise do that with Top Gun? Oh, yeah. He's got that,

and he's totally in control with Top Gun, and also, don't forget that he's holding Mission Impossible 8 hostage, I's holding Mission Impossible 8 hostage I mean Mission Impossible 7 hostage because he wants Mission Impossible 8 to have some things that he wants in a bigger budget so he's refusing to finish

Mission Impossible 7 until he gets the things he wants for Mission Impossible 8 Really? So we've got one more shot to do, he's like I'm not doing it! Your mission is to finish the movie You are not exaggerating he's probably got like one got one more shot to do. He's like, I'm not doing it. Your mission is to finish the movie. You are not exaggerating. He's probably got like one or two shots left to do. What a power.

What a big dick swinging move that is. NT, well, it's always great to catch up with you. Thanks for dishing the dirt on what's happening in Hollywood, and we'll look forward to catching up with you next week. All right, you guys stay warm. Just a couple of dads screaming on the sidelines of their kids' sports games. Jono and Ben on the hits. Commonwealth Games

starts today in Birmingham. The opening ceremony happening pretty shortly and you'll know her from Brad and Laura in the afternoons but also doing the coverage for Prime

for the Commonwealth Games as well. Laura McGoldrick. Yeah, she's our resident sporting guru. We've never once been invited to her residence though, have we been?

Probably for good reason to be honest. Yeah, I agree. Laura McG guru. We'd never once been invited to her residence, though, have we been? No, probably for good reason, to be honest. Yeah, I agree. Laura McGoldrick from Brad and Laura. Lazza! G'day, mate. How are you? Lazza, Jazza and Bazza talking sport, mate. Yeah.

Are you excited? Commonwealth Games, it's starting today. Yeah, I am really excited, actually. It's one of those ones that, I don't know if you remember as a kid, but I always remember Kiwis doing well, and we have a great history at the Commonwealth Games. So I'm really pumped up and I think we could

be in a chance for medals straight off the bat like tonight I'm thinking. You know why we have a great history at the Commonwealth Games? Because it's not the Olympics. That's not being Kiwi knockers. Well now look, just this year there's a few more people involved in the bloody Olympics.

That's why we've got a better chance. I'm saying we. There's a few more people involved in the bloody Olympics. Yeah, I know, that's what I'm saying. That's why we've got a better chance. I'm saying we've knocked out a lot of people, which is good. It's not going to a thing like that. I'm with it. I mean, it's... That's just not the attitude, Jono. All right, who are some of the... I mean, there's many, many people and teams that we should watch out for,

but who's a couple off the top of your head? Sorry, Teddy was just crying. I thought you made Laura cry. So tonight, I want you to look out for Hayden Wilds, who's in the triathlon. We've spoken to Hayden. He got silver at the triathlon at the Olympics. Yeah, the Olympics, the one that Jono likes.

He got bronze, and it was sensational. It was. It was our first medal of the Olympic Games, and what a dry eye in the house. She's like, oh, just... Yeah, that's right. No, he is a legend, and he's got such a lovely story, and he's just eye in the house. Yeah, that's right. No, he is a legend and he's got such a lovely story and he's just a good bloke. He's

just a good Kiwi. The Sevens kick off tonight as well, which you want to keep an eye on because we always do well no matter what the tournament, whether it's the Con Games, the Olympics, you know, we are very, very strong in the Sevens circuit. And the other one I want you to look out for, and you know how I feel, and Ben, you'll be excited like I am. It's the first time since 1998 cricket's been back at the Commonwealth Games. And the other one I want you to look out for, and you know how I feel, and Ben, you'll be excited like I am.

It's the first time since 1998 cricket's been back at the Commonwealth Games. Now, we won bronze back then with the men's team, but it's the women's, the white ferns, that take part. Yeah, you play with that bubba there, bubba. Can I just say your baby is very distracting? I'm loving Teddy.

Yeah, well, he's very upset with me because I tried to cut his hair this week because it was getting in his eyes and he's got a mullet. And it's gone bad. It's gone really bad. Mum's ruined your hair. Yeah, I'm sorry.

Hey, Laura, we're just here to do Commonwealth Games stuff, mate. Yeah, remember back when we segued into something else. Hey, I'm really excited about it. I am in particular. But also I was reading some interesting things about Birmingham as well. They're aiming to be the first ever carbon neutral games. Zero percent waste. I don't particular, but also I was reading some interesting things about Birmingham as well. They're aiming to be the first ever carbon neutral games. 0% waste. I don't know if you know that, Laura.

Yeah, well, as you know, that's right in my wheelhouse, that sort of chat. So, um, Birmingham. Are you being sarcastic? Was that sarcasm? Absolutely not. See if you were impressed Laura McGoldrick, of course, hosting the coverage tonight.

Okay, more medals are going to be awarded to women than men. I mean, that's pretty awesome this year. There's more women's events than men's events. And the female contingent in the New Zealand team is more than the men. So, yeah, I'd say odds on more women for New Zealand as well award medals. Ten-year-old Emma Liu designed the mascot for the Commonwealth Games, Perry the Bull, which I thought was quite cool.

No, no, 10 years older. Laura, hey, listen, mate, feel free to use all this on the telly tonight too, if you want to. Hey, don't worry, I'm taking notes as we speak. Ben, were you looking

for some extra work for you? I actually am, yeah, yeah, to be honest. I could just be a stat person providing you with stats. Over to the stats man. I could come across. You know what,

the set has got a rather large couch, so you could just perch on one side. Get him on there doing on one side and we could make it look like you're in a different area. Just keep yelling out now 778 million pounds that's how much it costs I could do that. You're really into it I really am. I love the Commonwealth Games but here we are I really do love these I do love the Olympics as I've stated but I also do love the

Commonwealth Games because you do end up watching just the most obscure of sports and becoming an instant expert, you know, like in gymnastics or something, which I have no previous experience in. But that's why I love it. It surprises me with your build. She's being sarcastic again.

I don't know. It's hard to tell. I thought it was sarcastic. I think it'd be great on the beam. She's got the same tone as the climate change comic. Put Teddy on. Put Teddy on. I'm tone as the climate change comic. Put Teddy on. Put Teddy on. I'm done with you now, Laura.

Put Teddy on. Do you want to say something, darling? Wrap it up, Teddy. Just learn how to say apple, so that's good. Oh, come on. Teddy, can you say apple? Can you say apple? Yes.

Can I just say that sounded nothing like apple. Apple? Apple? Apple? Commonwealth Games? Carbon neutral? We're working on the on cue thing. Laura, you'll be doing a fantastic job tonight.

The Commonwealth Games on Prime. You can catch it. It's free to air. And Laura McGoldrick. Thank you so much. Lazer, Jazzer and Bazzer on sport. You're essential listening for non-essential banter. Jono and Ben on the hits.

It's going to be the wettest July on record, they reckon, this year. How's that? Yeah, that's so climate change, man. It's happening, baby. You believe it now? Nope. You just said climate change. Why did I even set you up for that?

Trump's coming back, bud. Oh, God. You know, one of the joys of being a child, and I don't know if you experienced the same thing in childhood when you were growing up, pushing buttons. Like, it's such a privilege as a child, isn't it? All you want to do is be allowed to push a button. Any button.

Yeah, true. It almost feels like it's a grown-up thing to do. Yeah, like they treat it with so much respect, pushing buttons. They tussle over it, haggle over it. Oh, push this one, you can push the next one. But when you get an adult, you're like, oh. To be honest, with my hatred of germs, I'm like, I'd rather not push the buttons.

If we're going anywhere, I'm the button pusher. Ben sort of steps back. I'm like, okay, this is where I come in. I push lift buttons, pedestrian buttons. I open doors, two door handles. You notice that, Theo? Yeah, we do. You're lovely. I do it, but, this is where I come in. I push lift buttons, pedestrian buttons. I open doors, two door handles. You notice that for you? Yeah, we do. You're lovely.

I mean, I do it, but then, you know. You prefer not to. If there's someone else in the vicinity, you let them. Yeah, I'm happy. I'm happy if a kid wants to come around, follow me around and push a button. It's a bit weird, but they can do that. So yesterday I was with Poppy and Oscar, my children, and we were in a situation where we were about to hop in a lift.

Okay, but the lift had a number of people in it. We're like, don't worry, we'll get the next lift. Say, I'll scream, I want to push the button. No, no, I'll push the button, I'll push the button. And the door was shut with the half a dozen people in the lift. But then there's those fateful two to maybe eight seconds. This thing, no one knows the gauge of when you're eligible to push the button for the lift. Otherwise, the lift doors open and the six people in the lift are like,

we're still here. The lift hasn't departed. Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah, right. So you're waiting for the next lift. You're right. You don't want to do it. Well, sometimes you could do it too soon.

It's quite a fun little game. It is a fun little game. People are like, oh, no, we're still. Sorry. Sorry. And that's what happened yesterday four times oh no because the kids don't know

they haven't got the time gauge you've got to give that five seconds to depart that lift but they were like so keen on pushing buttons they'll push one and they'll be like

the door's open and that's the awkward ha ha ha yeah we're here and then the door's shut and then the kids push the button again and then they open again

and everyone's like, hmm. By the time the fourth one rolled around, patience had worn thin. People are getting frustrated, aren't they? They're like, we've got places to be.

Well, you're that person in that lift too that keeps opening up. I don't know why it's so frustrating, but it is. You're like, oh. Yeah, yeah.

The fake smiles, the fake laughter, they disappear by the fourth time. We have talked about this before, but I love it. When I can see someone's coming towards the lift and the doors are closing, I always fumble around with, oh, sorry, and not push the button. Because I know the doors are about to close. Hit the button, someone comes in there, and that's slowing things down again.

You did that to me. I've done it to you. I was literally running towards it. As soon as the doors start closing I'm like, mate, you've got your chance. No, but I know there's the reverse button. Reverse it. Just push the button. I do a little act. I like you because you can't

see where my hands are. Oh, sorry, mate. I'm not pushing a button. Oh, I know. It's a shocking act. I wouldn't go and pay and see that show. The man pretends to push the reverse door button on the lift. And then the door's slowly shut and you're like, oh, well, catch the next one. Boom.

And that was the final thing I heard. Exactly. The hits. This is the Jono and Ben podcast. Wall to wall talking without the niggly popular songs in between. Today is Red Nose Day, raising money for Cure Kids Child Health Research in New Zealand. And to show how important it is, one mum has kindly agreed to tell her family story of how Cure Kids helped her. Yeah, her name is Mishla and welcome to the show.

Thank you. Great to have you on. Now, it is Red Nose Day, obviously. And the reason that this day has been created and Cure Kids was started for people exactly like you, people in your position, with your daughter who's been diagnosed with an incredibly rare condition. What's it called? She has something incredibly rare called Mobius Syndrome, which affects, they sync between only one and three to four million people.

Wow. So the odds are just wild. And what exactly is Mobius syndrome? It's basically an issue that affects the sixth and seventh cranial nerve, which then in turn affects her ability to swallow and smile. She has like a facial paralysis. So she can't move her eyes sideways and has a whole lot of sort of issues surrounding paralysis of her face.

So from what I understand, you guys had a pretty uncomplicated pregnancy and labour, but then you discovered shortly after your daughter was born that she had this condition. Yes, so she, everything was fine. We thought everything was great. And then she was born, and we sort of noticed that she was quite raspy and was really struggling to breathe. And they sort of whipped her away, and then we started this pretty intense journey

where all of a sudden we're around a table with about 15 specialists and a whole group of amazing people, but we're told that Neva had this extremely rare condition and that she would need a tracheostomy which is a breathing tube essentially and a feeding tube for the first sort of three four years of her life just to survive which was pretty intense and we

were first time parents so we were a little bit blown away and didn't quite know what to sort of make of it but it was it's been a hell of a journey and she's a pretty what to make of it. But it's been a hell of a journey, and she's a pretty amazing kid because of it too. What a wild... I always say the universe gives these situations

to only the people that can handle them. So you must be a very resilient, strong person, Mishla. You kind of don't really have any choice. I think that's the difference. I think you just have to suck it up and get on with it, make the best of it. And she's just such an incredible kid. I mean, we were in Starship for basically the first two years of her life.

We pretty much lived in there. You're surrounded by these amazing professionals who literally are just trying to keep your baby alive and sort of trying to work out the best ways forward. And it's really eye-opening. And the people you also meet in hospital are pretty phenomenal too. I imagine it puts the rest of life in perspective when you go to someone. Totally, yeah.

So good to see Amelia doing well now. Yeah, absolutely. Yep, she's nearly 13 and she's amazing. She's probably the most resilient kid you'll ever meet. She's had so many ups and downs. 26 surgeries, quite major ones. Thousands of procedures. I mean, yeah, pretty intense,

but she's just an amazing kid, so we're pretty blessed. Yeah, fantastic. So Cure Kids can raise money, so scientists and people far more smarter than Ben and myself can design treatment, can design medicine?

Do you call it design? I don't know. I don't know. They've got to stop meat families like you guys. Yeah, absolutely. They basically research a wide range of health conditions to change kids' lives. And I think that's something that's pretty amazing.

And we desperately and definitely need all these scientists to be doing that and working towards cures and treatments and ways to help all these kids who are pretty special. Yeah, well, thank you for sharing your journey and Mila's journey on the radio this morning. I mean, there's a lot of parents listening to this station, and I'm sure we all really respect what you've been through.

Yeah, cheers. Yeah, you're a legend. Yeah, and I think Cure Kids is just such an awesome charity to support because it literally can help every single child in New Zealand. You know, they do such amazing things with all sorts of everyday bits and pieces as well. So it's just such an awesome charity to support. Well, Sian, if you want to support Cure Kids on Red Nose Day, which is today, help raise funds for child health research,

you can donate at rednoseday.co.nz slash hits, or you can text RED, that's RED, to 4487 for the link to donate. It's as easy as that. Hey, lovely talking to you. Lovely to chat to you. Yeah, lovely to chat to you guys too. Cheers. Scrolling through your feed.

Over to our one-man newsroom, maybe mainly because the newsroom's very tiny. It's like a cupboard. If there were any more people in there, it would invade your personal space. Well, it seems that the new Instagram is upsetting some people. Now, delving deeper into it,

I don't think everyone has got it. Now, it doesn't seem like it is an update thing. It just seems like they're testing a new Instagram, and if you are lucky or unlucky enough to have got it on your phone, you'll know about it because it's very different. Kim Kardashian and Kylie Jenner got it and they've come out publicly criticising it saying,

you're trying to make me like TikTok. And it does kind of feel like it is. You've got to get on there for putting their names behind a worthy cause. Well, yeah. So it's the usual white background that you normally have on Instagram. If you use it, a lot of people do. It's now changed to a sort of black background. It's sort of harder to see your friends' pictures and content.

You get fed a lot more reels and stuff, much like TikTok of people that you're not necessarily following and go straight to the other reels as well. So you kind of, you know, you go on TikTok and you sort of scroll through a reel, reel, reel. It's kind of, it seems to be trying to replicate that. The head of Instagram. What is wrong with the world? Well, the head of Instagram sort of put out a video going, hey, we see your concerns. There is a way you can see more of your friends' feed, make sure you favourite it.

But hey, it's not definitely happening, not going to roll out. People aren't happy online. They're fired up. They're trialling it, eh? They're all good on them. TikTok's really blown up. Blown up huge. You checked an old video of ours up the other day.

Three million views. Yeah, I know. Three million. It's the only thing that's impressed your daughter about you. I know. She was like... She kept checking it, going, man, it's gone up to this. I'm like, yeah, yeah.

So that was cool. That was a nice wee moment. Yeah, all right. So, yeah, but I think... It was a nice wee moment. It was a nice wee moment. Daddy got a few million views on TikTok. The one time when my daughter was like, hey, yeah, you might be okay.

You know, for a wee moment. And then it went back to being, oh, dad. I a few million views on TikTok. The one time when my daughter was like, hey, yeah, you might be okay. You know, for a wee moment. And then went back to being, oh, Dad. I do love, I love TikTok. You've got the best and worst in humanity just all wrapped up in one app. You can see some stuff on TikTok. Oh, yeah. A long ride.

Yeah, that's how I ended up down in Wellington for a couple of weeks in a tent. And Victoria Beckham, Posh Spice, finally reuniting with the Spice Girls, but it's not going to be on the stage as such. This was a great line in the article I was reading. If you thought that she was returning to the stage, you can stop right now.

Thank you very much. I was like, oh, that's good. That's beautiful. So the reunion's coming in a new series, a new TV series, a doco series. Now, if you've seen The Last Dance on Netflix about Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls, well, the same makers of that are making a Spice Girls docuseries

about how big they were and reflecting on it now. So she's agreed to be involved in that and reflect on the career. So that's still pretty cool. Well, the last dance, whether you like basketball or not, was a Watson-all documentary, wasn't it? It pulled no punches about all of it. You have Michael Jordan and you're like, oh my God, he'd be a terrible workmate, wouldn't he?

Oh, he had a desire to win. He just wanted to win. Demanding? Yeah. Yeah, all he wanted to do was win. And anyone who got in his way, much like Ben Boyce around here, tell you what. But that'll be great. It won't be like a fluff piece.

Yeah, now she's kind of returned to performing Posh Spice in a roundabout way. Now, they were at a karaoke night the other night. And David Beckham, of course, her husband, filmed her singing a Spice Girls song on stage with a few others, Posh Spice. So that was her on stage at karaoke. She sounded good, but then watching her up close, it didn't seem like she was singing.

She wasn't, again. It sounds like they're just playing a Spice Girls, just playing it off Spotify or something. Yeah, maybe we'll put the video up on our Insta story and you can go look for yourself on the hits breakfast to tell, is she actually singing or is she out loudly? Is she singing or not? Is the video Victoria Beckham in same room as Spice Girls song as it's playing? Well, she is on stage with a microphone. I don't know.

Anyway, so that is what's making news this morning. Let's go. Jonah and Ben with five words for 5K. Stop any time to keep the cash. Thank you. Or play on to win more. It is our Game of Word Association. If you match all five words with our five words, you get $5,000.

But we've added a new twist. You can win money along the way, but lose it all if you get one wrong. It's up to you to see how far you want to play. Hey, we're going to go to the phones because that's what we do in this situation. Please welcome to Five Words, Amy. Hi, how's it going? I gave you a really big intro there,

Amy, and you came in pretty lacklustre. I'm not going to lie. We're going to do a take two on this, Amy. Please welcome Amy. Hi. There we Amy. Please welcome Amy. Hi. There we go. There we go. I always respect when you watch American shows like Ellen or Jimmy Fallon and stuff, Corden.

Jeez, they've got the audience riled up. Don't they? They've got them jacked up on all sorts of supplements. Not Amy, though. Not you. Amy, $500 has been donated to Cure Kids under your name already. That's awesome. That's awesome.

Yeah, you'll be helping out a lot of families in New Zealand with that money. And you can donate right now. You can text RED to 4487 or check out all the details at rednoseday.co.nz. Now, we're curing the kids and we're also curing your lack of money all going well. Amy, who are you going to send into the soundproof booth to match five words with? Jono, please. Alrighty, I haven't been in in a while. You haven't.

Enjoy the short walk to the soundproof booth. He is inside there. Amy, here is your first word. What pops into your head when I say auntie? Auntie. Uncle. Uncle, that's what I was thinking. Cereal is word number two.

Cereal. Breakfast. Yeah, breakfast. Phrase. P-H-R-A-S-E. Phrase. P-H-R-A-S-E. Yeah, we'll go with sentence.

All right, sentence. That's a good option. Missing is word number four. Missing. Missing person. Missing person. That four. Missing. Missing person. Missing person. That's a good option.

Job is the final word. Work. Work. They are your five words. And we'll get Jono out of the soundproof booth and we'll see if we can match. All right, Jono here. Charity. Prize money.

Killing two birds today. Here we go. Straight to word number one. Word one. $25. What pops into your head Jotter when I say Auntie? Uncle Yeah well done $25 Amy Now you need to decide do you want to go to word two For $50 or take your $25

I will go For word two $25 is not enough for Amy okay Okay let's go to word two Word two $ $50. Cereal. Cereal. I've got two here.

One's rather dark. What do I got? Oh, no, but it's with a C. Cereal with a C. Oh, okay. Yeah, so I think you're thinking of something like a character off Shoreland Street that maybe wanted or something.

Yeah, like a strangler or something. Okay, so it's not that. Well, then I'll go breakfast. Yeah, well done. Now, Amy, 50 bucks. What are you doing? Are you walking away with your head held high or are you pushing it a little further?

We'll keep going. All right, this is four. Word three, $100. Phrase. P-H-R-A-S-E. Phrase. Let's say sentence. Oh, well done.

Amy. Amy. $100 is yours. Do you want to go for word four? $500. But if Jono gets this wrong, if you don't match up, you get nothing. Oh, we'll keep going. Oh.

Oh. I love it. I love just thrusting ahead. Here we go. Word four. $500. Missing. Missing. I'm going quite dark here as well, actually.

Missing person. Oh, well done. Yes. Jeez, Amy. Amy, $500. Now, we've had it to $500 before, and we've had people risk it and lose it all. That's the risk. It's all on you now.

$5,000, do you want to play for that, or do you want to take the $500, which is a lot of money, and walk away? No, I'll keep going. I don't want to talk you out of anything, but I think we're obliged to just give you the stats. The last four people who have reached this point and made the leap

hasn't matched, but it's a gamble and you're willing to take it. Yep, I'm willing to take it. And that's what we do on Red Nose Day. That's how we do it. Oh my goodness. Word five, $5,000. The $5,000 word

this morning for Amy to win $5,000 The $5,000 word this morning for Amy to win $5,000 Job Job There's a lot There is a lot actually The more you think about that one I'm just going to try and do a continuation of So job title

Oh no What was it? I said work and do a continuation of. So job title? Oh, no! What was it? Job title. I said work. Work. Oh, buddy. Amy, I'm so sorry. Profession.

I mean, yeah. Your day job. It depends. It's where you want to do it. Career. There's another one. Yeah, you played a really good game there, Amy. You were so close to getting $5,000.

What about me? Oh, you played a good game too. You too. She didn't get all the credit. You don't get the money, you know. Yeah, right. Give it away. I'm over here battling away, mate.

Hey, good on you, Amy. Go and have a great weekend. Love your work. Thanks for listening. Awesome. Thanks, guys. Look out. Scary dinosaurs.

Not Jurassic Park. It's these guys. Jono and Ben on the hits. My daughter yesterday, Sienna, she was heading out with some friends to go to the movies. And then she came back to me and she was like, whoa, what is that thing by the door? Like, what is the new perfume? I'm like, what? And what had she done is she'd seen what we got, some insect repellent that we bought for our other daughter who gets quite,

yeah, gets a lot of insects. And she'd seen tropical scent on there, like tropical. It does sound exotic. She's like, oh, this is tropical. This looks like perfume. And it's obviously insect repellent you can use in the tropics, I'm guessing. But she's like, oh, this is tropical, tropical scent.

And she sprayed it on herself around her neck area as well. It was like a cologne as a cologne and she's like oh my goodness yeah so not not the greatest i don't think it's recommended for that i mean probably kept the mosquitoes away at the movies but it's also good to use a can of rage and keep the flies and the ladies away same same theory but it would be a good to have a cologne that was also an insect repellent wouldn't it be great to double up on these, like a sunscreen pill as well? We all take a pill. You've said that before. That's a great

invention if someone could invent it. Take a pill that doesn't allow you to get burnt in the sun. Get musk, bees off, get that mob onto it. They're too busy trying to get to space, aren't they? They'd rather get your sunscreen pill up. The sure weather masks make them look a whole lot better. Jono Owen Ben on the hits.

You know, that dramatic music just signals Benjamin Boyce. Cliffhanger. Cool. We haven't done one of these for a while. This is when we get someone's best story. What they claim is their best story. And then we stop it at a point. They stop it at a cliffhanger.

And then we decide all together if we want stop it at a cliffhanger and then we decide all together if we want to hear the rest of the story or not it's the team of 5 million we decide are we still a team

of 5 million no we've definitely broken off into fractions now for a while there we were we were a great team what happened to the team it fell apart

let's get the old team back together joining us now on our 800th hits Joanne welcome to Cliffhanger Calls dum dum dum hello dum dum dum Joining us now on 0800 The Hits, Joanne, welcome to Cliffhanger Calls. Dum-dum-dum, hello. Dum-dum-dum.

Now, what is the first part of your story, my dear? My dear? I was detained at the airport. Sorry, can I just pull myself up on calling you my dear? It's all right. It's okay. Yeah, it's not the 1930s. All right, so what happened?

I was detained at the airport as a terrorist. What? I'm hoping this was a misunderstanding, but hey, you don't go into too many details right now, which is not working in your favour at all. Yeah, there was a couple of shaky years there. I was part of Al-Qaeda. Yeah, I regret that moment.

Jeez. Okay, so is that all you've got to tell us for now? That's the cliffhanger? Yes. Can I just ask you without getting into how you were detained, how long were you detained for? It was an hour. An hour. Before they let me go.

Can I ask what country in the world? Where did this happen? Auckland Airport. Detained as a terrorist. so were you on like a watch list of some description well i don't know now oh okay well let's see if we want to find out the rest of that story four four eight seven is the text number uh you can text on in and we'll decide if we want to hear the rest of this why joanne was held as a terrorist next that hits this is the jono and Ben podcast.

It is Pink Funhouse on Red Nose Day. It is your Friday morning. Jono and Ben, 8.16. A cliffhanger call we're in the middle of. Back for part two, cliffhanger calls. We hear the first part of a story and leave you hanging off a cliff. And you decide if you want to hear the back end. Jo story and leave you hanging off a cliff

and you decide if you want to hear the back end. Joanne, welcome back. Thank you. Thank you. Now, if you could just recap your story. When I was detained at the airport as a terrorist. Now, we've spoken to the people. The people have spoken back.

And they've said, we want to know why Joanne was detained as a terrorist. Yeah, I want to know why. You want to know why, Jono. So this is why we're here. This is why we're here for part two. Yeah. Well, I don't know if I could continue my life, at least the rest of my day, without knowing why Joanne was detained as a terrorist.

So what happened? Okay, so I'm an old lady. Well, I'm pretty old. And we were coming back from a terrorist. So what happened? Okay, so I'm an old lady. Well, I'm pretty old. And we were coming back from a funeral. And we were in Auckland Airport, and we were sitting there having a coffee, waiting to go on the plane. And I get my voice, you know,

Joanne Kinnear, please. Oh, can we stop that? Sorry, I don't want my last name used. No, that's all right. Yep. Sorry. They were just calling my name out over the PA or something? Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. They were calling calling my name out over the PA or something? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. They were calling my name over the PA. So I went to the check-in desk and said who I was. And they took me back to this room at the back. And there was two policemen standing there as I went into the room. My bag was there. And all the contents were spread out over this huge table.

Oh, jeez. Oh, Joanne. And the thing that resulted in me becoming a suspect, let us put it this way, was sitting there in front of the bag. And I looked and burst into tears because, you know, we'd just come back from a pretty heavy time. And it turns out my son had brought two throwing stars. He thinks he's a ninja.

Oh no. Don't you hate it when your son thinks he's a ninja? Yeah. It always ends in disaster. Absolutely. He's 25. That's too old for ninjering. It's never too late to get into the ninja game. I was thinking about it.

He's got these two throwing stars from a normal, you know, outlet in Whangarei. And, you know, they were just there, so why not have throwing stars? So they were sitting there, and he said, are these yours? And I said, yes, sort of. And he said, did you pack your bag? And I said, yes, sort of. And he said, well, this is an efflux of weapon, and they're prohibited. And I said, well, are they? And he said, well, this is an offensive weapon and they're prohibited. And I said, well, are they?

And he said, yes, they are. They're a knife. And I said, no, they're not a knife. They're a throwing star. So anyway. Yeah, they're like, do you know anything about ninjuring? Anyway, I've got a warning and a written warning against my name. And the next time I flew, I was so petrified that I made sure I packed the bag

and made sure I had absolutely no throwing stars in my vicinity, a knife or anything else that could have made me end up as an airplane terrorist, which my son has great delight in telling the story to everybody. And so did they take the ninja stars off you? Yes, they did. Yeah, some shocking ninja work from you guys there. Ninjas, they would not get caught at customs, would they? They wouldn't be called in.

Not in your check-in, not in your carry-on, nothing. You're right. You can't get your ninja stars around the country, can you? How do ninjas travel, though? Yeah. Because that's a very good point. They've got an array of weaponry, don't they? Nunchucks and swords and bits and pieces.

They've obviously got to carry on. Are they check-in luggage? What are they doing? they doing well they're ninjas so you don't know because they're you know they're not uh known as people that show off their skills too much so um i got my hair i got my hair product thrown out on the recent trip away that was just it was too large a thing to take you know too much yeah too much no that's you know that's can I just say that's not as cool as Joey's ninja star story? Yeah, right. But, hey, I was worried about it. Hey, look, it was important to me because I was like,

how am I going to do my hair? So did your son continue on his ninjering career as he pulled out of the game? Well, he's got ninjas all over his legs. G.I. Joe ninjas, you know, snake eyes and whatever the other one. Yeah, tattoos. Oh, wow. Awesome.

So he's committed. He's committed to ninja-ing. I love it. Good on you, Joanne. That's wonderful. Cool. Appreciate it. Thank you.

Who's having the best weekend? She is. Takacha Windowback. Clean any smooth surface like a champ. Heading into the weekend, we want to know who's having the best weekend. What are your plans? 0800 The Hits, give us a call. And thanks to Karcher, the best caller who we decide is going to have the best weekend

on 0800 The Hits, gets a Karcher window vac WV6 Plus so you can clean all the windows. Looks amazing. Not the WV6 Plus. Yeah. I had the 6 Minus. It's valued at $249 Karcher. That's a water blaster. I've been doing a lot of water busting on this Karcher. I'll tell you what, it's valued at $249. That's a water blaster. I've been doing a lot of water blasting on this, a Karcher.

I'll tell you what, it'll blast you into another dimension. So I can only imagine this thing, this window vacuum cleaner, will suck you into next year. Yeah, you can shop for a Karcher window vacuum store and online at your local DIY store. So we want to know, who's having the best weekend? A lot of Commonwealth games are going to be on over the weekend. The opening ceremony has just started on television this morning. The Queen,

as we mentioned earlier, not going to be there. Can't be bothered. Probably a little bit. Duran Duran, though, and Black Sabbath, because that's their hometown in Birmingham. They're both going to be performing at the opening ceremony this morning. No, I love Black Sabbath. Ozzy Osbourne, right? Ozzy Osbourne, yeah. Tony and I, me, they're great.

Ozzy Osbourne, right? Don't start naming other members of the band, mate. It's like the other members of Coldplay, they're great. Ozzy Osbourne, right? Don't start naming other members of the band, mate. It's like the other members of Coldplay, they're like Chris Martin, you know? Don't start. Ozzy Osbourne. I knew you were talking about Ozzy Osbourne. Don't start going Tony Romo or something,

or whoever he was. I don't know who that is. Don't disrespect to her. Tony Jermaine. But I was going to say great band love them but they don't scream opening ceremony

no you know quite gloomy sort of heavy metal it's not like I got a feeling you know yeah

but I'll be sitting on the couch all weekend doing no exercise watching people do exercise on the Commonwealth Games it's always a good good way to spend your weekend

alright let's head to the phones who have we got on 0800 The weekend. All right, let's head to the phones. Who have we got on 0800 The Hits this morning? Well, let's kick things off with Hayley, shall we? Who's in Hamilton. Hayley, why is it going to be a good weekend? Good morning, guys. I am going to dress up midwinter Christmas piss up.

A lot of ups going on in Hayley's life. Is that tonight or Saturday? Saturday. How do you or Saturday? Saturday. I would never drink and drive, so I'm going to electric skateboard there. Which sounds far more dangerous for some reason. Yeah, it does sound really dangerous. All right, so Hayley's got a midwinter sort of occasion. Okay, who are we going to get next?

Hayley, you could have come on and said you had a midwinter occasion, like Ben tastefully did. No, but I like it. Okay, Lani. Let's get Lani on from Taupo. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Why are you having the best weekend?

Oh, good morning, guys. Yeah, I'm going to have the best weekend because we've got my two little granddaughters here for a holiday and the weather's not so great in Taupo

so I'm going to be taking her to Drop Zone. Oh, a little more wholesome. It sounds like I was dropping her. Drop Zone sounds like a. Oh, a little more wholesome. Drop Zone sounds like a fun weekend. A little more wholesome than Hayley's weekend. Yeah, it also sounds fun.

It's a rollercoaster of weekends. Thanks, Lani. Okay, well, you stay there and we'll go to James in Nauru. Oh, James in Nauru. Welcome, James. Hi, morena, boys. Morena. Morena, we had dinner with James.

Yeah, nice to hear your voice. Yeah, I've got a two-day bender planned this weekend. He's gone one better than Hayley. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got a family barbecue and beers tonight, and then a stag do tomorrow, and then probably an MDO on Monday. Yeah, right.

Three days. Okay, so Ben, it's over to you. I know you love making decisions like this. Who's having the best weekend? Who's winning this car show? Don't make it, don't make it. Oh, me? Oh, look, I love James. I love Hayley.

They're regular callers of the show. But I feel like we have given them stuff. We've had dinner with James before. So on this occasion, I'm going to go with Lani. I'm going to go and give it to her. So hold on. Hold on. Let me break this down.

Your decision, which is we're like, we're here to decide who's having the best weekend. But now he's gone, I'm here deciding who's won prizes off us before well i'll continue to win more prizes in the future it's over but that's not what i made a decision now you don't like my thing i like lani and topo welcome lani let's get you back on you wonder when you won the karcher window vacuum mate oh thank you so much my window's doing me the clean, too. Ignore the grandkids and vacuum windows this weekend, all right?

Thank you so much. Oh, you have a great weekend. An inseparable duo. Unless I'm on better server. He's just going to replace me with Lee Hart and or Ford Smith. Jono and Ben on the hits. Went to the supermarket yesterday, speaking of expensive things, pack and save, and I was in the meats section

and a forgotten meat, but a much loved meat is your salami. Okay? Yeah. You don't often go, oh, I'll make a salami sandwich or something, but if it's there, you'll use it, but it's not like I must go, you know, like you go get steak. I must go get steak.

Or ham is probably taken over for a lot of kids' lunches And stuff right You did right The luncheon back in the day Oh I loved it Whatever that was What was luncheon

It came It looked Like a dog roll Yeah But you didn't You kind of got it already sliced So it wasn't like You had to do the

Oh no you could buy A big old dog roll Oh you could Yeah Mum would buy those The big old They looked But hey It was great It was I did love the luncheon dog roll shape. Oh, you could. Yeah. Mum would buy those. The big old, they looked.

But hey, it was great. It was. I did love the luncheon. But salami. I went to the supermarket yesterday. There's so many different varieties of salami. Do you know every country's running a salami?

There was Dutch salami, Italian salami, lean Italian salami, pepperoni salami, South African salami, Australian salami. There was Dutch salami, Italian salami, lean Italian salami, pepperoni salami, South African salami, Australian salami. Everyone's got a salami. New Zealand? Have we got our own salami? Surely we would have, right? Well, then I got home and I was like,

there is so much salami out there. How much is there internationally? 300 different denominations of salamis. Wow. They're out there in the world, Ben. So if I was going to get into salami business, have I left it too late? Well, it feels like a pretty crowded market.

Unless I'm doing something different. I'm bringing something to the game. I'm just thinking one salami is enough. But 300 different varieties of salami. Yeah, but you think of any product, whether it's beer, wine, salami, cheese, there are so many different types of it. You're right. You know, when you think about it, there is more than we probably need, but you know.

We've got more salamis out there than the government does leftover rat tests. Yeah, there are. You want one of those? You want some free rat tests? You know, when you arrive back in the country, that's the first thing you get given from the government. It's like a president. Take a rat test. Everyone gets a free rat.

Well, yeah, because you're meant to take them on day zero, day five. They're like just handing them out. They're like, we're good. Do you need They're like just handing them out We over ordered on rats It's like those crazy people who Work at the furniture store Oh the boss has over ordered furniture We've got to get rid of it all now More like that with rat tests at the moment

The Great Pineapple Debate Thanks to Hutton's with the new Hawaiian Sizzler Yeah Sizzler's the iconic Pre-cooked sausage that Kiwis have grown up and loved. Have now got a new Hawaiian sizzler, a cheese and pineapple paradise, they're calling it. And right now we've got two pineapples in the studio, plastic pineapples.

Jono's got one, I've got one. You don't know how much money's in mine. I don't know how much money's in yours. And we have to try and convince someone to choose our pineapple. I was just thinking Christopher Luxon could have saved himself a giant headache just by eating a new sizzler, Pineapple's Hawaiian Sizzler in Te Puke.

You know, you get the taste of Hawaii without having to be in Hawaii. Exactly. That's the joy of it. That's what he would have wanted. Tina, you're on. Christchurch, is it still wet? Christchurch, is it still wet? It is still raining, yeah. It's still raining. Oh, mate, we're feeling you. Wettest July on record for New Zealand, particularly for Christchurch, is it still wet? It is still raining, yeah.

Oh, mate, we're feeling you. Wettest July on record for New Zealand, particularly for Christchurch. It's been horrible this week. Yeah, flooding has been everywhere. Yeah, well, hey, we're thinking of you. And Tina, we're thinking of you even more right now because we want to give you cash.

And if you were going to choose a pineapple today, I'm going to say don't pick mine. Don't pick mine. Don't pick yours. Don't pick mine. Go, Ben. Oh don't pick mine. Don't pick mine. Don't pick yours. No, don't pick mine. Go, Ben. Oh, you haven't? I don't know if he's...

Don't pick mine. No one's picked me all week. So I'm like, don't pick me. Oh, is that what... No one has picked you all week. It's a number between one and $1,000

is what we've got in our pineapples. And you're not... Yeah, I'm looking at this... You might be playing reverse psychology. I don't know. I don't know, Tanner.

I'm looking at this number. I'm like, ah, no, don I'm like nah I'm all gonna say you won't be disappointed if you choose me alright you won't be disappointed if you choose me because I'm feeling

pretty good about what I've got I don't know what Jono's got but I'm feeling pretty good about what I've got today so you won't be disappointed that's all I'm gonna say

and I'm saying I will disappoint you I won't fail to who are you gonna choose who are you gonna choose I'm going to go against the green and pick Jono today. Oh, real... I said...

Well done, Tina. You've got $70. $70, is that...? $70. I said don't pick me. I said on a scale of zero to 1,000, what did you have in yours? $630. That's what I had.

But it's hard because I thought Jono was lying too. I thought he was tricking you. Well, you put that in your head, mate. That's on you. That's not on me. Don't put it on me. I wondered if it was. Yeah, no, he was like, nah, he's doing reverse psychology. No, I see. I don't know if you're doing reverse psychology or not, but you won't be disappointed if you choose me.

Well, Tina. $70? Hey. I said you't be disappointed if you choose me. Well, Tina. $70, hey? Yeah, hey, that's good. I said you would be disappointed, and you probably are. Hey, $70 is $70 I just had. There we go, you're right. That's the way you are. $70 you didn't have three minutes ago, right?

Hey, good on you, Tina. Thank you very much for listening. You go and try and keep dry in Christ's name. The Hits. For more podcasts from The Hits Network, check out iHeartRadio.co.nz.