Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: Ben Had A Freak Accident!
Episode Date: November 16, 2021And he was betrayed by one of the things he loves most! However, this sparked some calls from listeners who had some outrageous stories similar to Ben. We also caught up with Archie Yates (who stars i...n Jojo Rabbit) and Irish comedian Aisling Bea. They both star in the new Home Alone movie, called Home Sweet Home Alone. Finally, Ben has a very specific arrangement with Jono when it comes to birthday presents, but he nearly messed it up. Enjoy the podcast!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast.
Welcome, it's Rātū, the 16th of November.
Ben Bush, you're furiously typing away there, what's going on?
My computer is also very loud. I was doing a test on this the other day because the family were like, why do you're furiously typing away there. What's going on? My computer is also very loud.
I was doing a test on this the other day because the family were like,
why do you have to type so loud?
Put the mic up to it.
That's just frenetic typing.
It does sound like it's like my family are like, we get it.
You're doing an email.
Why do you have to let us up?
But I do feel like, and I tested it on a couple of other,
like another device in the house.
I was like, well, it's a lot quieter on their one.
Yeah, it's because you've run yours ragged just with your furious fingers.
Justin.
I have, yeah.
I've really, this poor thing's had a hard time.
Some of the letters are sort of starting to come off
because I've also sanitized it too much.
So I've stopped sanitizing it now because I don't think computers
and sanitizer really go together either.
Like putting wipes over it, you know, putting wipes.
And I'm like, ah, man, probably not.
Now it's got sort of like a glow over it.
You can see it's sort of shiner.
But it's permanently there because I don't think you're meant to put.
Did you put it on the screen?
I just sort of wiped it across.
You're not meant to wipe the snow.
Yeah, I've learned this now, you know.
But, hey, it's, you know,
the things this computer's been involved in.
Yeah, he's like, mate, just listen,
we don't need to be sanitised every 10 minutes.
Yeah, I know, but you never wipe it. Just take it easy.
You can just gently push a key
and still get the same result.
I'd furiously type away.
The poor thing feels like it's just getting beaten up
every day when you're writing an email.
Anyway, you're a good emailer.
And what was the email there you were just sending?
Oh, I was actually emailing my family
because we've got 10% of our iCloud storage remaining left.
Oh, this is stressing you out.
Yeah, all morning.
This is the fourth time you mentioned this this morning.
Well, this is the problem.
So I got an email because we're all hooked up to the same iCloud.
Who's clogging up the cloud?
It's probably me, to be honest.
I've got a lot of videos of us on there. Now
they're like, hey, if you'd like to get a nice
email going, you know, you're almost at the end of it, but
for another $17 a month,
we can upgrade you. So you don't have to worry about
clearing out the cloud. Yeah, what have you
backed the cloud up with?
How many gigs are you running? I don't know.
We've almost used up
our 200 gig storage. So we're
basically trying to, so we should be going through. So I storage. So we're basically trying to,
so we should be going through.
So I'm going through deleting apps,
deleting photos, deleting videos. I've got so many videos.
It's for social media for us.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm probably up there in your cloud, aren't I?
Yes, many times.
Too much of me in your cloud.
No one needs that in the cloud.
Delete me in the cloud.
Yeah, so I need to,
he's back on the cloud.
So I've sent an email to the family going,
hey guys, clear out your stuff.
It's all got to go.
Otherwise, by 3 p.m. today, I'm controlling all and deleting everything.
Every evidence of this family will be gone from the cloud.
That's right.
The forecast is not looking good.
No, exactly.
Yeah, so that's what I'm doing right now.
But I can ease back because we've got a fun wee show.
Now, an interesting fact, and I know you mentioned this on the show today,
that if you delete stuff from the cloud, you save the environment.
Yes.
So I don't want to upgrade to this new package because, you know.
Because Greta would frown upon it.
Yeah, exactly.
She gets in on his credit card details, who upgrades to a larger cloud.
Who would have thought that was a thing?
Because apparently the cloud, it has to be a machine somewhere.
Yeah.
Somewhere in the world.
And it uses
energy, obviously.
And so the more that is clogging up
the cloud, aka the machine,
the more energy it's using.
Yeah. So, okay.
So those single-handedly saving the
environment, deleting photos of me,
pointing at
products that were getting paid to hold up
on social media. It's one thing you don't do as much now,
because you take a burst of photos, you take a few,
and then you're like, I'll come back and I'll clear out the ones I don't use later.
But having the time to go back through and go, you know?
The kids do love a burst, don't they?
You're like, sometimes I'm like, why have I got 39 shots of my daughter's chin?
She's just gone, like you with your typing, she's gone wild.
Yeah, no, what's the most pointless photo in your photo stream right now?
I'm going to try and find it.
The first one I came to is you and me dressed as supermarket bags.
It does not get more pointless than that.
Please don't tell me that's clogging up your cloud.
Yeah, it's in there.
Yeah, clear that out.
Clear that out.
It's in there, but it's, you know, it's definitely there.
Oh, well, my most pointless one is I took a photo of a garden hoe.
Oh, yeah.
And I sent it to you.
Yeah, you did.
And I said, you know, something probably not.
I thought you can connect the dots on that.
Yeah.
I won't do it for you.
Might not stack up in this podcast.
That's probably my most pointless photo.
And my son, Oscar, who for whatever reason decided he was going to try and see how many
hats he could put on his head at one time.
And there's 30 hats.
Oh, wow.
He's got a lot of hats.
A lot of hats.
30 caps.
He's balancing on his head there
I wouldn't say that was a pointless photo
I'm quite impressed by that
Quite impressive
You know
And the balance required
To hold 30 hats on the head
So there we go
Enjoy the podcast
Have a great day
New Zealand's breakfast.
This is Jono and Ben on The Hits.
Good morning, New Zealand.
Welcome along to the show.
It is a Tuesday morning.
Jono and Ben back with you on The Hits.
Yo!
It's a very exciting show.
You're very excited about this today because Justin Bieber has just been announced
he's coming to New Zealand December next year.
Yes!
Oh my goodness.
That's huge. Playing in Mount Smart and we have a double pass to win
just after 8 o'clock this morning.
We were talking about this before the show
and having the conversation
of, you know, do you think
he looks at all these tour dates and just sees
a giant mountain of work and if it
sends a shudder down
his spine and I've just looked
at the tour poster,
the world tour poster.
Have you seen
the world tour poster?
No, I haven't.
Hilarious.
He's just got his head
in his hands
and he's crouched down
almost like three quarters
in a fetal position
with his head in his hands
and I think it's probably
quite reflective
of how he feels
about the 9,000 tour dates
he's about to embark on.
A lot of tour dates.
It would be a little bit intimidating.
But then if that's your job and that's what you love.
But like last looking at the radio show and going, oh, we've got to do a radio show every day for the year.
You love it.
You love it.
And you feel like it's your job.
You take it one at a time, don't you?
Yeah.
If it's your job you really wanted to do, and I think for Justin Bieber, that's what he wanted to do.
True.
He's probably very excited about doing it.
Yeah.
I love the way you're like, oh, Jesus, seems like a lot of admin.
It does.
You just look at the poster,
I'm just like, I feel sorry for the guy.
I'm like, mate, have a lie down.
He's got to see millions and millions of fans
all over the world.
I know.
And I'm very excited.
He's going to be at Mount Smart Stadium
in December next year.
So as I said before,
a double pass, 8 o'clock this morning.
We'll have to give away, which is very cool.
That and $5,000 and a whole lot more. It's going to be a
big show. You've got Jon Olmbeer on the hits.
It's very appropriate this morning because Justin Bieber
is coming to New Zealand
December next year. 4487
double pass up for grabs at 8 o'clock this morning.
Tell us who deserves it the most. Yeah, that's right.
Now, this little part of the show we
started last week and we're all really
enjoying it until the novelty wears off and we'll just put it on the bench like the A to Z of New Zealand.
We were phoning every town and city of New Zealand, and we kind of peed it out at the M's, didn't we?
We did.
Yesterday, our boss, Todd, was like, at the end of our meeting we had with him over Zoom, he was like, now, whatever happened to the A to Z of New Zealand?
Very good.
It made us laugh a lot.
Yeah, we've really just faded out of that one.
Anyway, we'll pick it up one day.
But this, what do you mean?
We peel back the layers of popular sayings because you do go through life
saying these things regularly
without a great deal of thought about what they
actually mean. So we zero in on one,
we all hedge our bets, see what
we think it could mean, all the origins of it
and then we find out the true meaning.
And so today, the dead ringer.
Dead ringer, which I think means a very close duplicate of something.
Yeah.
Someone's like, oh, you're a dead ringer for Pitbull the rapper,
or I'm a dead ringer for a stick insect, or something like that, you know?
A back and safe stick man, probably more appropriately.
Yeah, true.
So the dead ringer, I mean, maybe the origins Date back to A Newstalk ZB caller
From 3am in the morning
Dead ringer
Oh yeah
Probably an almost
Dead ringer
Yeah
They were a telemarketer
Who hated his job
And he's like
Oh jeez
I've got to ring these people
Dead inside
Yeah
Juliet
I honestly
I've been thinking about this
And I actually can't
Even think of a logical way
That that saying
Could get to where it is now like i
literally can't think of anything i'm sorry do you know i think i know what i think i've heard
what it actually means okay but i don't know how it relates to something that is also looking like
the same as something right because i i had heard that it was when someone was buried back years and
years ago and potentially buried not they didn't know if they were dead or not, 100%, they'd have a little bell and they'd ring the bell.
I've heard that, yeah.
And so they'd go, oh, hang on, we've buried another one.
What if they have very impatient undertakers?
Oh, he's a goner.
Yeah.
Chuck him in, are you sure?
He was literally fine this morning, now bury him.
We'll give him a bell and if he rings the bell,
then we'll get him back out.
Yes.
Now, I've heard that that was the case,
but then again, I don't know how that relates to someone looking the same as someone else.
Unless someone was walking past the cemetery and they saw someone being buried and they're like, jeez, that looks a lot like Gary.
And then they have to phone Gary on the phone.
That's where the ringer comes in.
Like, Gary, are you dead?
Gary's like, no, no, I'm still living.
Mate, I thought I saw you.
Yeah.
Mate, potentially. So I think that's where it comes from. But no, I'm still living. Mate, I thought I saw you. Yeah, maybe. Mate, potentially.
So I think that's where it comes from, but hey, I could be wrong.
Okay, we'll have a Google.
This is, what do you mean, the phrase dead ringer?
Oh, here we go.
There is a common misconception.
Oh, that's.
And I feel like you've fallen into the trap here.
Let's first dispense with the nonsensical idea that someone put forward the origin of this phrase.
Nonsensical? nonsensical idea that someone put forward the origin of this phrase. Nonsensical?
Nonsensical.
That it relates to a bell that were attached to ropes in order to attract attention from people who were in coffins.
So that's not true?
Not true.
Okay.
The actual explanation, excuse me, you're reading this as we go along.
A ringer is a horse that was substituted for another horse of a similar appearance
in order to defraud bookies back in the day for illegal gambling.
A Dead Ringer.
So you kind of got a horse.
You'd be like, oh, that horse is no good.
And then you put in another one that is and you win.
Or vice versa.
It was from the 19th century and originated in the U.S. horse racing fraternity.
Wow.
There we go. Well, that is this morning's What Do You Mean?
Where's Chris Hipkins?
He should be funding this.
So much education going on right now.
Live
free. The Summer Holiday
Edition with Škoda.
Just in time
for summer. This is an amazing
prize. Thanks to Škoda. you win a $5,000 summer holiday
and the use of a brand new Škoda Kodiaq 7-seater SUV.
And be amongst the first in New Zealand to experience that.
You get that for summer as well as $5,000 summer holiday.
Can we all just publicly recognise how fun it is to say the word Škoda?
Yeah, Škoda.
I'm loving Škoda.
I've always called it Škoda, but been mispronouncing it for all these years. Yeah, Shkoda. I'm loving Shkoda. I've always called it Skoda,
but been mispronouncing it for all these years.
Finally, we know how to do it properly.
That's great.
Sarah Lee, welcome from Westport.
How are you?
Morning, guys.
I'm good, thanks.
Do you want to say Shkoda as well, Sarah?
Yeah, Shkoda.
Shkoda.
It's a funny word, isn't it?
It's a rewarding word to say.
It does.
It does feel really fun to say.
Sarah, how does this sound?
Living free, getting a holiday, having a car?
That would be a pretty amazing holiday.
It's been the furthest thing from my mind lately.
What's been up, mate?
Oh, just went through the Westport floods in July.
So been out of our house for quite some time now.
Oh, jeez.
Are you still not back in your house?
Still not back.
Repairs haven't started yet. They haven't started? Oh, jeez. Are you still not back in your house? Still not back. Repairs haven't started yet.
They haven't started?
Oh, my gosh.
Where have you been living?
I'm lucky enough to stay with a friend in Westport.
So many people aren't that lucky in motels or whatever.
So, yeah, it was quite an event for the whole town, really.
It's crazy, isn't it?
Like, for two days, it's all over the news,
and then they stop broadcasting it.
But there's so many people just with these long-lasting effects
of this catastrophe.
Yeah, yeah, that's right.
Oh, well, I'm very sorry to hear that you're still in the trenches there.
This might be a nice bit of light relief over New Year's if you win the prize.
Oh, it would be. It would be.
Be just your luck you crash the car.
You sound very deserving.
We'll put you in the drawer and all the very best for the competition
and also getting back in your house.
I'm sure you can't wait for that to happen.
Oh, no, definitely not.
I had a little farm.
All my animals are home now, no, definitely not. I had a little farm. All my animals are home now, luckily,
being kind of doing what we can on the outside and the fences and gardens and things.
So just kind of waiting for the builders now.
Oh, well, Sarah, I hope that kicks into action pretty swiftly
and you keep safe.
I tell you what, we'll send you something out, OK?
Oh, thanks, guys.
Unfortunately, it's not a builder,
but we'll try and sort something out for you, OK, Sarah Lee?
Thank you.
All right, matey.
Have a good day.
Jesus, July.
It's a long haul, isn't it?
Wow.
Because obviously everything would rot to the carpet.
I think they pull the carpet out immediately, don't they, when there's a flooding?
But, yeah, it's amazing how quickly.
We were talking about Afghanistan the other day.
Remember when the Taliban took over Afghanistan?
Well, that was all we were talking about.
Then we don't even mention it anymore.
No, no, yeah, you're right.
That's our fault. This is the media's fault.
Your next chance to win that amazing holiday for summer
and Shkoda for summer as well.
Listen out for the cuticle throughout the day.
It is the hits.
Scrolling through your feed. We proudly present
the only news bulletin featuring no
actual journalists being voiced
with scrolling. Well, the
National Party is still behind on
28%. So it's
risen two points in the poll. There's a big
poll that came out last night.
But it's still Labour at
41%. But they're down 2%,
National up 2%, at 28%,
and the ACT Party steady at 14%
seems to be at the moment. That was too much
information for me. You lost me really early there.
Does it really matter at the moment, too?
No. And two years away from an election as well. I see that
Prime Minister's dropped 20% in
her preferred Prime Minister polling.
But that's going to happen. She's still at 39%.
Yeah, which is a landslide.
Yeah, exactly.
Seymour is the next, and David Seymour is the next and preferred prime minister at 11%.
Is he second place?
Yeah.
Is he?
Crazy.
Judith Collins at 5% from the National Party.
I won't keep going on about percent because I'm going to lose you.
Yeah, you're losing.
Yeah, but it's interesting.
So it goes Jacinda, Seymour, and then Judith Collins.
So it's the top three at the moment.
And then Christopher Luxon is at 4%.
So he's just under Judith Collins in this.
Well, there's rumours that Bridges is going to roll Rudy, Rudy, Judy, isn't there?
Yeah.
Well, he wasn't polling in this particular poll that was on the News last night.
Didn't even factor in him.
Well, I don't know.
I don't know if people asked him about them or if they just kind of forgot about Bridges.
But maybe he'll come back.
Someone would miss out on that. Someone would say that.
Well, then that doesn't bode well
for his rolling of Rudy Judy, does it?
Oh, we forgot about you.
You're still doing this. That's the rumour.
Judith Collins,
he's not leader and he won't be leader or something.
That was the comment I heard yesterday from you.
That sounds like
someone who's about to be rolled. That sounds like what they're going to say.
That'd be tough though, wouldn't it?
I mean, in opposition at the moment,
all you can do is have a crack at the government
about their COVID response.
And it's easy having a crack on the sidelines
when you're not having to make the calls.
Open up the borders! Open up this!
We would have done this! We were vaccinated!
It's easy to just sit there and spout off stuff
because you don't have to go and do it.
Well, you have to do it.
You're like, oh, I have to do this now.
Yeah, it'd be very, very hard.
And the big news this morning that we're very excited about,
global pop superstar Justin Bieber, he's coming to New Zealand
December next year at Mount Smart Stadium.
One concert, one concert only, which is very cool.
Yeah, I reckon he might do two.
That sounds like what one guy would say if he was going to do two concerts.
Yeah, it's a big venue though, isn't it? Mount Smart Stadium. I reckon he might do two. That sounds like what one guy would say if he was going to do two concerts.
It's a big venue, though, isn't it?
Mount Smart Stadium.
He could sell out two Mount Smarts, couldn't he?
Juliet, you're a big Bieber.
You're a Belieber.
Yeah, I'd go twice.
Actually, no, they'd probably be too expensive for me.
But, you know, I would definitely go.
Your level of commitment to Biebs over the years has been just unrivaled.
Like the stories we've heard.
And you kind of tell them and you sort of cringe.
You know, you had a collage of posters
all over your roof of Bieber.
I know, it's just really embarrassing.
And then my old Justin Bieber dedicated Twitter account,
like, I can't believe I did that.
You know, the drums to be more like,
so you'd have something in common with him.
Yeah, it's really, really embarrassing.
But like, you know, I still really like him,
but not to the level
I think
I think if I liked him
at the level
that I used to
I would be
a psycho
yeah I probably
would have no friends
I've got a Dwayne
the Rock Johnson
I heart
Dwayne the Rock Johnson
tattoo on my bottom
so you know
I'm an adult
he's had many more
years on you
and he made that
decision this year
I haven't got that excuse of going oh jeez that was back when I was like 14 He's had many more years on you. True. And he made that decision this year. Yeah, didn't he? That makes me feel better.
I haven't got that excuse of going, oh, jeez, that was back when I was like 14.
That was back in March.
Yeah.
You're right.
It was.
But you've grown up a lot since then.
If I look back at me in March, I'm like, oh, Ben, you know.
Oh, Ben.
We all enjoy, don't we?
Or at least some of us do.
It's good to like someone.
It's great to admire someone.
But it's hard to put people on a pedestal because people are all flawed in some way.
No one has gone through this life without making mistakes, and that's the hard thing.
I think a lot of countries are running into when they put statues of people up and all sorts.
You're like, oh, hang on, they've got a history
of this sort of thing. So it is pretty tough.
That's why there'll never be a statue of me up anywhere.
Safe to say.
Plus I've done nothing to deserve
a statue. That's probably the main reason.
But you're right, there's a few flaws in there.
But we love you anyway.
And that is scrolling through your feed, it is the hits.
You've got John O'Byrne.
Spy, the what's up Spy.co.nz.
All right.
Fueled on a diet of avocado and TikTok, we call her the Millennial Falcon.
Here's producer Juliet with Spy.
So Benny has announced that she's going on a world tour, a big world tour, she announced
on Instagram.
And she's so far announced European and North American dates.
She's going to be doing 38 shows between April and June in 2022.
And I was kind of thinking, I was like, well, has she announced a New Zealand tour?
But she did actually have a New Zealand regional tour that was meant to go ahead in August.
But she postponed it till early next year due to personal reasons.
But I don't believe she's put actually dates out for that yet.
But it means that us Kiwis will be able to see her before she actually goes on her world tour next year.
That's awesome.
That's really, really cool.
It feels like her getting the wheels in motion
for her international career
has obviously been a bit of a slow start
because of COVID and lockdown.
She was here doing interviews,
I think in her house with Jimmy Fallon,
Kimmel, all the late night shows
in the midst of the pandemic.
So your songs blew up on TikTok, you know, and you're right, she couldn't go over there and actually be there in the studio with them.
So she, yeah, she kind of blew up at an unusual time.
She did.
She did.
And now she's kind of finally been able to actually go on tour and go see America and stuff.
It'd be amazing because she would have been over there doing those interviews in person if it was any other time
in history. So it would have been amazing
to see where she would be now
if it had all just happened normally like
in Lord's career. Oh my gosh.
But hey, it's kicking into action now
which is wonderful. And she's so young as
well. I think she's only maybe like 21 or 22.
And I'm like, oh my goodness
you are just, you are flying my girl.
And I have another little Taika Waititi and Rita Ora update.
Oh, great.
Well, it's not necessarily an update, but it's more just a sighting.
Oh, great.
Was this the red carpet?
This was the red carpet.
Yeah, Sam's already seen it.
He sighted the sighting.
I sighted the sighting.
They were hanging out with Ed Sheeran backstage as well.
It was like the MTV Europe Awards or something.
Yeah, the MTV European Music Awards.
But what he did, which I really liked, is he played Instagram Boyfriend beautifully.
Do you know what the Instagram Boyfriend is?
What do you have to do? No.
It's basically like if you've got an Insta boyfriend or you see someone being an Insta boyfriend,
it's like them taking all these photos of their girlfriend in a beautiful location
or like getting down on the ground and squatting and getting all the angles right for the Instagram.
And he did this on the red carpet.
So initially he started posing with her,
like did some funny shots with the train of address.
And then he grabbed a camera and just stood next to the paparazzi,
just like taking photos of his girlfriend on the red carpet.
And I'm like, you're an amazing person.
Well, if anyone's going to do it with a camera and direct it,
I mean, he's probably the right guy to direct a shoot, isn't he?
He's the guy for the job, isn't he?
I know, I know.
He'd be hitting dem angles, wouldn't he?
Exactly, exactly.
Oh, that's great.
Did they do anything else?
Did they canoodle, kiss?
I don't think so.
Hold hands?
Well, they were together pretty much the whole night.
Like backstage photos and videos show that they were together pretty much.
But they both looked amazing as usual.
Yeah, why don't you marry Rita Ora, Ben?
Why don't you do something for the show?
I can't wait for the day.
Why don't you do something for New Zealand? Why don't you for the day. Why don't you do something for New Zealand?
Why don't you marry Rita Ora?
Just don't tell your family.
So have been there.
It's weird because she's with Todd.
Anyway, I'm with, I don't know.
I'm sorry, I was confusing love triangle.
It's very complicated.
And that is Spy Update for this morning.
For more, you can head to thehits.co.nz.
The show where the masks make them look a whole lot better.
Can't save this battered up old face yet.
Now, Freedom Day.
There was a lot of talk about Freedom Day,
mainly from the media.
November 29, what I liked about that is
the government, and Jacinda in particular,
said, you know, November 29,
we'll re-look at where everything's at
and whether we start initiating this light system.
And then the reporter was like, so it's Freedom Day.
She's like, no, I'm not saying it's Freedom Day.
Then the next day, all the articles were like, Freedom Day, November 29.
Maybe because she said, I'm not saying it's Freedom Day.
And they went, oh, you said Freedom Day.
You said it.
I'll take out the it's not bit.
Yeah.
And it seemed like you're right.
Everyone went, it's Freedom Day.
It's all happening November 29.
But it seems like that's when they're going to announce.
I took out a billboard.
You know one of those planes in the sky that toes behind us said,
Freedom Day, November 29, guys.
You guys make T-shirts printed that said Freedom Day, November 29.
They're arriving from China very shortly.
Yeah.
We're really interested.
Yeah, so I guess that's where they're going to announce
when the traffic light system is going to kick in.
But then there's other news articles saying, oh could be earlier could be later it's like oh who
who knows what i found confusing is the wakato is jumping tonight 11 59 into level two why aren't
they why aren't they in a traffic light system was the traffic light system happened right across
the nation when it kicks into effect so yeah i think they could roll out the traffic light system
at some stage i have another question do you think they know what the traffic light system is?
I'm still very confused by the traffic light system as well.
But that's fine.
I don't need to know.
I'm still getting my head around level 3.3, 3.2.
How many people can I picnic with?
How many bathrooms can I use inside?
It reminds me of when you play a game of Monopoly with someone
and they tag on all these wild rules as the game progresses.
You're right.
I didn't know that was played.
I got a droll double six to get out of jail.
I played it for all my family.
Or you can pay 50 bucks to get out now.
You're like, you didn't tell me that before.
You're right.
It's exactly like that.
But hopefully, as the news comes to hand,
we'll muddle our way through it with you.
Yeah.
Now, the Waikato too, they've been in lockdown
for pretty much the same
amount of time as Auckland, bar two weeks.
Remember they were out for two weeks, but
Auckland's been getting all the limelight
for the lockdown. Spare a thought for those
in the Tron too, who've been doing it
hard. I was watching an interview last night with a
bar owner who's like, man, this has been
tough. Real tough.
He's like, there was that two weeks of little reprieve
but it didn't do much.
Jeez.
And you just feel for the hospital industry, don't you?
Yeah.
Well, hopefully we get a summer where, you know, things are open and we can have...
We can lay the hammer down real hard.
That's what New Zealand wants.
New Zealand's breakfast.
This is Jono and Ben on The Hits.
Good morning, New Zealand.
Just gone seven o'clock.
One of the big announcements that just happened overnight while you were sleeping
was Justin Bieber coming to New Zealand next December.
One concert, Mount Smart Stadium.
We've got a double pass to give away.
4, 4, 8, 7.
Who do you want to nominate?
Who deserves it?
Maybe you deserve it.
You want to nominate yourself.
Maybe someone you know deserves it more.
4, 4, 8, 7, 8 o'clock this morning.
We'll give that away.
Geez, no one is more excited than producer Juliet.
We've had to put her in a straight jacket.
You know like one of those people in asylums you see on horror movies?
She's like that at the moment.
Frothing at the mouth.
I honestly reckon, though, that this album that he will be performing,
Justice, is a really, really, really good album.
There are just so many bangers on there.
It might even be my favourite.
What's his biggest crapper?
What one you're not a fan of?
Because you are a true believer.
He had this rogue album called Journals
in about 2013, 2014.
It didn't really take off
and there were a bunch of random songs on there
like Heartbreaker or something like that.
Just did a bit of filler content.
Yeah, but this album is honestly so good.
That was his filler content
much like our 6 till 7 hour.
We do that every day. We're guilty. It's 7 o'clock now, so good. That was his fill of content, much like our six to seven hour. We do that every day.
We're guilty.
It's seven o'clock now, so no fill of content in here.
No fill of content now.
We don't even reference it.
Have you ever taken a sign to a Justin Bieber concert?
No, I haven't.
I think when I tried to, you weren't allowed to.
But you weren't allowed to take big signs.
I took a sign to a Taylor Swift concert,
and the people behind me got really annoyed
because I was just blocking their view the whole time. I had to factor that in with a sign. Ben took a sign to a Taylor Swift concert and the people behind me got really annoyed because I was just blocking their view the whole time.
You had to factor that in with a sign. Ben took a sign
to a Little Mix concert, didn't you?
Did you? Yeah, with my daughters
and took it along. He always uses his daughters as an excuse.
Then you end up holding it and I'm like,
I had Little Mix all night.
Who's this creepy guy?
Just towering over the rest
of the audience, holding up this core flute sign.
Shout out to my ex, because I'm a single guy, ladies.
Next, we're going to talk about the one thing that we all have to do,
but it just seems like it's the biggest pain.
It is, yeah.
And we've found someone who has 10,000 of these.
I can't believe it.
10,000.
We'll tell you what it is shortly.
You're essential listening for non-essential banter.
I thought I was saying something meaningful there,
and then I backed out.
Jono and Ben, New Zealand breakfast.
Now, we started here just over a year or so ago, Ben Boyce,
and when we started with this company,
they're like, well, we must sign you up
to the internal email OneDrive Microsoft system.
Yes.
And I'm just hearing, mate.
This is what's going through my head when I hear this.
Mate, I've already got enough going on in my life.
I've got a Gmail, I've got a wife, and I've got one kid.
That's enough for me.
You've got two kids.
I've got two kids, apparently.
Anyway, I just found out I had another kid,
so I haven't been managing them very well.
But I've already had enough in my life to manage, is my point.
And then Julie...
And you slipped into boomer territory with this complaint.
No, it's not boomer territory.
It's just like...
Oh, it's too much.
Well, now I've got an email.
I've got one email address.
If you need to email, just email that.
But there's this whole other system that I know is there,
but I've just let it fester,
and I haven't given it the tender love and care
that it deserves, the NZME email program.
And I looked on there yesterday,
and there is 2,831 unread emails.
Oh, my goodness.
Oh, my goodness.
That gives me anxiety. Probably 2,800
of them are probably LinkedIn requests or
something. But I'm like, this thing
has just got away on me now. Now what do I do?
Do I just leave it?
Do we just let it grow into this big
festering pimple of emails?
Or do you go out and clear them?
Yeah, it's hard
because it does get away on you. Because it's giving me
a little bit of anxiety. I'm trying not to let it does get away on you. Because it's giving me a little bit of anxiety.
I'm trying not to let it bother me, but just
knowing that there's this giant pile of admin
that might be some very important...
I might be fired, but I don't know yet.
Bogsy the boss might have said,
mate, we're cutting your contract, but I haven't got
that information. You need to clear your way
through a thousand emails to get there.
Well, good news is you are fired.
Oh, that's great. You don't need to check the email.
I did check it.
It was about six months ago.
That's probably why you haven't been getting paid.
These mics aren't even turned on every morning.
Everyone's too scared to tell me.
But I imagine you're not the only one out there that's like that.
And in fact, there's a friend of ours, Dave Gibson from LMNOP.
Oh, yes.
Now, he lets it get away.
Jeez, we've got a lot out of this fodder over the years, haven't we?
Same as you.
He's just like, oh, it's got too big.
And now he will check the email, but he'll just pick the ones,
oh, that's kind of new.
And the other ones just keep banging.
He's got 10,000.
10,000?
He sent a photo the other day of 10,000.
His inbox says 10,000.
It just ticked over.
Oh, my goodness.
Juliet, you are very good at dotting I's, crossing T's.
I imagine you ran quite a tidy inbox.
Yes, I actually, so I really did.
And then when you guys came along, my emails just got blown up with just so many things.
And I was like, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God.
Is it us punishing you?
No.
There's a lot of punishing emails from Jono and Ben.
Because we do send a lot of emails, don't we?
It's our thing.
But now I'm on top of it again.
Now I'm, you know, cross it out, all the I's and the T's.
Doing something.
Because Ben Boyce, you are very organized as well.
But it does get away from you.
That's the thing.
Even the other thing, I keep getting messages saying,
your iCloud space is full and you have to go delete photos.
Oh, my goodness, yeah.
And you've taken 17 photos of the same photo of me posing.
Now I've got to go through.
You know, like me pointing at a courgette in the supermarket.
Yeah.
Well, didn't you find something last week?
There was something about the iCloud.
You can save the environment with the iCloud.
That's right.
It was on 7 sharp.
This is actually what you can do to help save the planet.
Many of us are already doing our bit, but there's always more we can do.
Like deleting our old emails and photos.
All those computers that run our cloud storage use almost as much energy as the airline industry.
Wow.
That is all you need to do to save the planet.
Greta would give you a thumbs up if you just deleted a couple of emails.
So I'll wait under the hits.
This is what we want to open up.
Have you got the song Juliet?
Inbox.
Inbox.
Inbox.
So who has got the biggest inbox right now of unread emails?
So these are not emails that you've read.
This is unread emails.
I don't think we'll find anyone here in New Zealand that could be our friend Dave.
Dave, who's got 10,000.
Yeah.
Let's see if we can.
0800, that's the number.
You can always text New Zealand's Breakfast to 4487 this morning.
Jono and Ben, the hits.
Inbox.
Inbox.
Inbox. So we ought to know this morning who has got the biggest inbox of unread emails. In box, in box, in box.
So we ought to know this morning who has got the biggest in box of unread emails.
We could have probably actually made a version of that with the in box,
but anyway, it was nice to sing over the top, wasn't it?
Oh, right.
So you're saying that that was lazy parody work there?
Actually, I did email you about that last night,
but it was obviously in your in box, you didn't read it.
Well, I do have 2,800 unread emails on the work email,
and it's starting to stress me out.
I won't lie.
And someone has just sent through a link during the song saying,
here is what I did to clear a huge amount of emails,
and there's a bit of a system in place, how to delete emails.
And apparently you do it through in stages.
You can get this done in one hour.
Really?
Just brushing over this article,
clean your inbox in one hour, it says.
Start for 10 minutes clearing out the junk.
So then you just search things like LinkedIn
or whoever you get spammed by, Facebook, whatever,
and you select all those.
Boom, do it in stages.
The junk's gone.
Then you get on to creating folders and labels and i'm putting
myself to sleep as i just read this article yeah uh but yeah that's a interesting article you can
google it yourself one hour okay yeah there we go but oh 800 the hits we're after the biggest inbox
inbox caitlin you're on what have you wrote what are you running there, Kate? I have 2,512.
It used to be a lot more.
It was up in the 8,000s, but I ended up clearing some of it.
Yeah, right.
And why'd you stop at 2,500?
Why didn't you get all the way down to a manageable 100?
No, like I cleared it fully, but I've let it hit.
Oh, so you went from 8,000 back to pretty much zero.
Now you're back to 2,000 or so.
Yeah.
How long did it take to clear 8,000 emails?
A long, long, long time.
It probably took me like over a couple of days.
Like I just did it in my spare time, probably an hour a day.
So like maybe a couple of days.
Oh, there we go.
Caitlin, well done.
Thank you very much.
Now we're going to go to Graham in Canterbury who can beat 8,000.
Graham, how many unread emails have you got in your inbox?
I've got 29,047.
Well done.
Graham in Canterbury.
Wow.
So do you ever check the inbox at all?
Mate, periodically.
To be honest, I turn off the notifications just because I keep getting spam shit.
And, yeah.
Yeah, your email system's gone.
This relationship is a one-way street, mate.
I am trying to give you everything here.
You're giving me nothing back, Graham.
Very much so, mate. I am trying to give you everything here. You're giving me nothing back, Graham. Very much so, yeah.
29,000 unread
emails. Well done. We can't be there.
I'm sure we can't be there. We can, because
we're going to go to Vaughan in Tauranga. Welcome to
New Zealand's breakfast. You're coming in with what
in your inbox, Vaughan?
Just a bit over 51,000.
51,000 unread
emails! Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!
Wow.
So how long have you been collecting these, shall we say?
Oh, it's not me, it's my partner.
Yeah, the emails kind of got put on hold for a while.
Yeah, no, it sounds like they did.
Yeah, definitely. Wow.
Have you missed any important life events
by not maintaining this email inbox? Oh, she. Yeah, definitely. Wow. Have you missed any important life events by not maintaining this email inbox?
She probably has, yeah.
But we don't know what they are.
That's probably quite true.
But you're wonderful.
Ignorance is bliss, isn't it?
Thank you very much.
Now, that was 51,000.
That was pretty impressive from Vaughan.
But we're going to have an overall winner here.
No way.
More?
Well, I think we need to get the music again, Jew.
Okay, you ready?
Inbox, come on down.
From Auckland, Rosie with your inbox.
What's sitting in there unread?
I'm nearly on 61,000 emails.
61,000.
Wow.
Why?
I don't know.
I just, ain't nobody got time for like clearing your emails.
Ain't nobody got time.
No.
What are you doing that's, you know, filling up your day so much you can't check an email?
Scrolling on TikTok.
Yeah, TikTok does.
That's the thing.
You're like, I should delete these. And then you have your phone. You have the thing. You're like, I should delete these.
And then you have your phone, you have 10 minutes,
you're like, oh, check what's happening here
on the Instagram or TikTok or something.
Yeah, I know, I hear.
Yeah.
We had a meeting with the TikTok people the other day
and they're like, you need to get someone's attention
on a TikTok video in two to three seconds now.
That is what our attention span has come to as a human race. If you don't have them
in two to three seconds, you've lost them.
And Rosie has lost 61,000
emails. So well done. Hey, we're going to
send you out some wild bean vouchers, okay?
Oh, thank you, guys.
We'll email it to you, alright?
Just have a look through your emails.
Warning, this show contains
traces of Jono and Ben.
The Hits with Jono and Ben for breakfast.
Now, you know when you enter the supermarché,
generally you're greeted at the fruit and produce section, aren't you?
Seems to be the run of the mill.
Oh, like greeted as far as that's the first thing you come to.
First thing you do, yeah.
I think you mean like, welcome.
Yeah.
A very friendly banana welcomes you in.
Yeah.
Have you met my dear friend, the cucumber?
Yeah, seems to be no matter what the supermarket chain
It's kind of the same layout
It's the same order for every supermarket
Do you go
It seems like you end up in the fruit and veggies
Then you sort of end to the bait goods
Then the meats
Yeah, sometimes they have those around the sides
And stuff, don't they?
A bit differently, but yeah
And then they say keep away from inside the aisles.
Those are the dastardly treats inside the aisles.
There's nothing better than just walking down the aisle and going,
nothing for me here, and just walking, oh, I love that.
I love just walking down the aisle.
Not for me.
The entire chocolate biscuit section for Ben.
Oh, take me to the kale or the hummus, my dear sir.
But, you know, yesterday I was in the produce section.
You know they've got those, and a lot of them now are sort of made from recycled goods,
the plastic bags that you put your fruit or vegetables in.
You need the combined skills of a brain surgeon and a bomb disposal expert
to separate those bags at times.
You do it like you generally, my system has been, I don't know if you're the same, a brain surgeon and a bomb disposal expert to separate those bags at times. Yeah.
You do it like you generally, my system has been,
I don't know if you're the same, you get your thumb, forefinger,
just give them a cheeky little rub on either side.
You know, it sort of loosens up,
gets a bit of friction happening within the bag.
And then you can sort of systematically just peel the bag apart.
But yesterday I was stuck with this one bag. It felt for like
at least nine hours.
I don't know how much time I lost.
I think I forgot to pick up kids from important
places. But I was trying to separate
this bag and there was no
piece of apparatus that was more resistant
from doing its job than this one plastic bag.
I've had it happen before. It feels like
it's a prank. You look at the
arrow, you're like, no, I've got this correct.
Because you can even turn it round. You're like, maybe I don't
have the top side.
You don't want other people, you feel like at that moment
everyone's looking at you in the supermarket. They're not,
but you feel like at that moment, they're like, look at this guy.
He's been standing there for 20 minutes. All I want to do is
put a freaking eggplant in a plastic
bag. It's 2021.
Why is this so hard? And it
got to, honestly, it got to the stage where this lovely young chap came up and he's like, do you need a hand with that?
Do you need it?
Like he's watched me struggle.
I've been working in the supermarket for many years.
I've never seen anyone battle with a plastic bag as much as that man.
But it's so reluctant to do its job, isn't it, that plastic bag?
Yeah.
And when do you ever use them again?
All they do is carry a little couple of apples to Yeah. And when do you ever use them again? All they do is carry a couple of apples to your house.
What do you do with them afterwards?
They're good for handy for people with dogs.
Oh, of course, yeah.
And I use them for the rubbish bin in the toilet,
which is usually a smaller rubbish bin,
so you can line the rubbish bin.
You've got a toilet rubbish bin?
Yeah.
What goes in the toilet rubbish bin?
It's so handy.
What happens in there?
Floss, rolls, empty toothpaste.
Like, literally, it's so handy.
Yeah, you need a toilet.
I just flush all my rubbish down the toilet.
For you, the toilet is the rubbish.
It's not meant to be, all right?
That's what rubbish is, Andy.
I just want to clear all the empty dinner plates.
Five words for 5K on the hits.
You're only five words away from a massive payday.
We have your chance to win $5,000 cash. Happens every morning at 7.45 on the hits. You're only five words away from a massive payday. We have your chance to win $5,000 cash.
It happens every morning at 7.45 on the Hit.
So you give us a call.
We tell you five words.
You tell us the first things that pop into your head.
If your five words match with ours, all five of you win $5,000.
Let's head to Welly in the Hutt Valley.
Louise, welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast.
Kia ora.
Kia ora.
How are you?
I'm good.
I'm good.
All right.
You ready to win $5,000?
I certainly am.
Or our backup prize of absolutely nothing.
Those are our two options here.
But this is one of our most enjoyable parts of the show, isn't it,
doing this five words giveaway?
Yeah, it's awesome.
Ben chalks it up as his charity work for the year, don't you?
Yeah, I write it off, tax return and all that sort of stuff.
Tried to give money away, but no one does.
So he's the philanthropist he is.
Who are you going to send into the soundproof booth to match words with, Louise?
I'm going to send you and Jono.
Okay, Jono.
You've been back to back to back here the last few days,
but you got a victory last week, so hopefully it works out for you, Louise.
I hope so, too.
All right, Louise.
What pops into your head when I say rug?
Rug. Can you spell that? louise um what pops into your head when i say rug oh right spell this r-u-g rug
matt nice berlin is word number two this morning berlin b-e-r-l-i-n berlin germany germany nice
exactly what i was thinking with that one. Easy.
Easy.
You hand the money over now.
Propeller is word number three.
Propeller.
P-R-O-P-E-L-L-E-R.
Propeller.
That's two.
Can I come back to one?
Yeah, come back to one.
Of course, Louise.
Cracker.
Cracker.
C-R-A-C-K-E-R.
Cracker.
Christmas.
Christmas.
Cracker.
Yeah, getting into the festive season nice and early.
Toyota is word number five.
Toyota.
These are tricky this morning.
Car. Car, car.
Car?
Yep.
And that works perfectly.
And back to propeller.
I'll go with plane.
Plane.
All right, Louise, you happy with those?
Yep.
And obviously not sounding fully confident,
but I understand why, because they were some tricky words.
We'll get Jono out of the soundproof booth,
and we'll see if we can match up
all five words this morning and
hopefully you'll walk away $5,000 richer.
Alright, just had the drug testing in there.
I'm all clear, Ben. I'm clear to play
my friend. First word this
morning we said to Louise
was rug. What pops in your head when I
say rug? R-U-G.
I'd go mat. I I was thinking rug doctor which you know everyone's some stage of the party in Korea is at some unusual time for the
supermarket what you're at 6 a.m. getting a rug and just imagine all of
the chunks in the rug, Doctor.
That has been sucked up over the years.
Berlin was word number two this morning.
Berlin.
Germany.
Yes, well done.
Juliet was like, easy, easy.
But they don't get easy from here on in.
Propeller.
Propeller, word number three.
Let's go plain.
Oh, maybe they are easy.
Oh, Louise.
More like...
Heart Valley, shut the valley.
Here we go.
Cracker was word number four, Jono.
Cracker.
Cheese.
Oh!
Think more festive.
Oh, Christmas.
Oh, Louise.
Oh, well. Oh, it was good. Oh, Christmas. Oh, Louise. Oh, well.
Oh, it was good.
Yes, Cracker was very, you know, both of you said good answers.
Oh, I'm sorry.
It's all good.
I couldn't hear the disappointment in your voice.
I'm sorry.
It's not all good.
And finally, Toyota, Jono.
Oh, go car.
Oh!
Four out of five, Lou.
Oh, wow.
Oh!
Jeez.
Just tickling the toes of victory there.
I'm so sorry, mate.
Hey, listen, we'll send you out a wild bean voucher as well, OK?
Oh, nice.
Thanks.
All the best.
You keep safe in Hutt Valley and have a wonderful Tuesday.
OK, thanks, guys.
See you, Louise.
Another chance to play tomorrow morning, 7.45.
It is the hits.
Spy.
The What's Up.
Spy.co.nz.
Listen, even in the eye of a worldwide pandemic,
we know the most important thing is that people get their daily dose
of Kourtney Kardashian publicly pashing Travis Scott updates.
Then we can find.
Yes.
Hold on, did I get that wrong?
Who's she dating?
Travis Barker.
Travis Barker.
What did you say?
Travis Scott. Oh, that must be confusing for the household.er. Travis Barker. What did you say? Travis Scott.
Oh, that must be confusing for the household.
Oh, it must be.
Two Travises in the fold.
Oh, true.
It's probably not confusing for them.
They probably know who they're talking about.
It's confusing for you, though.
It is.
Yeah, me on the fringes.
So yesterday in the United States,
Adele's tell-all interview with Oprah aired.
So she did the interview,
but throughout it,
it kind of cut back to a show that she performed
at the Griffith Observatory in LA.
Which looked phenomenal.
Oh my goodness.
There's someone on the hilltop.
You've seen it in many movies,
overlooks LA.
Yeah, and it was kind of a star-studded guest list
that watched her perform.
There was Lizzo, James Corden,
Melissa McCarthy, Selena Gomez.
I'm pretty sure I saw Seth Rogen
in the background of one of the clips as well.
There's a lot of studded stars that you've just listed there.
I know.
And it was the first time her eight-year-old son, Angelo,
had seen her perform live at the Griffith Observatory, which is crazy.
During the show, she helped a man propose to his girlfriend.
So basically, this girlfriend walked, they kind of dimmed all the lights, and
she walked on stage with her
now fiancé. She had
soundproof headphones on, she had
something covering her eyes, she had no idea what was
going on or where she was. So no idea she was
at an Adele concert? No.
She thought she was kidnapped.
She took off the headphones,
took off the blindfold and sort of saw people
sitting there in the dark,
had no idea what was happening.
And then later on, Adele came on stage,
and she kind of realized what was happening.
This is real. This is real.
Thank God you didn't let me eat. I would have thrown up.
Will you marry me, little Ashley?
Oh, in real life?
In real life.
Yeah.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Hello, Ashley. Oh, in real life? In real life. Yeah. Yes?
Hello, Ashley.
Thank God you said yes, because I didn't know who I was going to have to sing this song
to next.
You or him or my gold.
Oh, I just love that little cry.
I can't go, oh.
All right, here we go.
This is for you two.
So she then serenaded the couple afterwards, which was amazing.
Oh, wonderful.
Adele's probably like, ah, what's it worth that it's going to end anyway at some stage?
Imagine if she went on some tirade.
Oh, no.
Don't marry me.
Don't marry me. Don't marry me. Don't marry me. Don't marry me. Don't marry me. then serenaded the couple afterwards, which was amazing. Adele's probably like, ah, what's it all worth that it's going to end anyway at some stage?
Imagine if she went on some tirade.
Don't make the worst mistake of your life.
Oh, God.
But anyway, looking forward to that interview.
It's going to be Monday, isn't it?
Yeah, so it's airing in New Zealand on Monday next week.
TVNZ, yeah.
Yeah, TVNZ.
But some of the little things that I found out from the interview with Oprah
is her son,
when kind of growing up, because he's eight years old, didn't realize that she was a celebrity.
So Adele took him to, or like a celebrity as big as she is.
So she took him to a Taylor Swift concert a couple of years ago when he was six,
and like his jaw dropped because it was a sold-out stadium show.
And because he used to go to Adele's dress rehearsals
in the big stadiums, but there was no one there watching.
And so it would be empty.
And so he got a true understanding of Adele's fame
when her Easy On Me music video premiered on YouTube.
And he's like, Mum, you've got 150,000 people waiting here
watching the music video.
Oh, my God.
And saw the comments and was like, oh, my God, people quite like you.
He's like, I just thought you performed in empty buildings.
That's all I've ever seen you do.
I thought your career was going as a shambolic career.
I know.
And then, obviously, the Griffith Observatory was the first time he saw her perform.
She also opened up about her relationship with Rich Paul, NBA sports agent.
Says he's absolutely hilarious, very intelligent.
It's incredible watching him do
what he does their relationship is very easy and smooth and it's the first time she's been able to
love herself and kind of be open to someone else loving her her and her ex-husband they live
opposite each other in LA they co-parent their son together oh really yeah so she opened up quite a
lot about the divorce but we'll see we'll see more of that when it airs in New Zealand. Someone messaged us who worked with
Simon's name, I think, her ex-husband
in like an accounting firm
or something. He's like a...
He does an office job. It says he is the
loveliest gentleman. Really?
Aww. Aww, Simon.
I hope she paid for the house across the road
from here. Yeah, surely.
Surely. And that is your Spy Update
this morning. For more, you can head to thehits.co.nz.
Very good.
Thanks, Producer Juliette.
Hey, Justin Bieber coming to New Zealand December next year.
Your last chance to win our double pass.
Text 4487 and tell us who deserves the tickets.
Maybe it's you, maybe it's someone you know,
and we'll give those away very, very shortly.
New Zealand's breakfast.
It's Jono and Ben.
On The Hits. Just got on 8 o'clock here you're on the hits uh jonathan being a big announcement this morning just the baby coming to new zealand at 7th of december 2022 so next year it's going to be
amazing his justice world tour at mount smart stadium one concert only at the moment and we
got a double pass to give away.
Yeah, we've been given a lot of people have caught
Bieber fever, which actually now results in you getting
a stick up your nose and having to self-isolate
for 14 days. So there's a lot of people
claiming they've got that, losing taste
and all that sort of thing, but we're going to go through, many
texts have been pouring in on 4487,
to a very deserving young boy right now.
Kim speaking.
Hi, Kim.
How are you?
I'm good, and you?
Jono and or Ben here.
Doesn't matter.
No one cares anyway.
There it is.
No.
Now, we understand.
Is Chad around?
Yeah, Chad is here.
Do you mind if we talk to Chad?
Hey, hi. Chad, how's it going, bruh? Yeah, Chad is here. Do you mind if we talk to Chad? Hey, hi.
Chad, how's it going, bruh?
Good, and you?
Are the kids saying bruh still?
I don't know.
Now, Chad, you're nine years old.
Yeah.
And you're a big fan of who?
Justin Bieber.
Wrong answer.
You should have said Jono and Ben.
No, no, you're a big fan.
Now, can you sing us a Justin Bieber song, Chad?
You put him on the spot here.
Holy, holy, holy, holy.
Oh, he's good.
Nice.
Now, you know, every dance move, apparently,
you dress like Justin Bieber, you keep your hair like Justin Bieber.
You're very excited to find out that Justin Bieber's coming to New Zealand, right?
Yeah.
And we're very excited to tell you you're going to go and see him.
What?
You've got a double pass.
Thank you.
Oh, congratulations.
Hopefully those are screams of joy and not agony.
Oh, well, enjoy that concert.
It's going to be amazing.
It's happening in Mount Smart in Auckland
next December.
You've got a wee way to wait for it,
but I'm sure it's going to be worth it.
Thank you.
All right, you're going to be 29 by the time he comes.
Let's hope you're still a fan.
No.
Have a great day, buddy.
Hold the line.
Justin Bieber and his Justice World.
His tour is heading to New Zealand December 7th of next year.
Tickets, they go on sale Wednesday 24th of November.
All the details at the hitstock.co.nz.
Next on the show, I had an accident yesterday.
You guys witnessed it.
It was a shocking accident.
This was a freak office accident.
It was really, it was something to me last night.
Yeah, it really was.
It really got, I don't know.
I don't know if anyone in the history of office workers
would have ever suffered the same fate.
No, I thought I'd blinded myself.
Seriously, I will tell more about it next.
It is the hits.
You've got Jono and Ben.
Mmm, coffee breath.
Jono and Ben, the hits.
Now, yesterday in the office,
there's no one in the office at work,
but I got myself a bit of a freak accident.
It could only be labelled as a freak accident.
It would feature on a show called World's Freakest Accidents.
And you walked in and I felt, we felt very concerned.
So what happened is I came back from the bathroom.
You guys were in the radio studio.
And just out from the radio studio, there's on a table out there,
which no one's in the office, but there's some hand sanitiser,
like a pump hand sanitiser. Pump action. And I was like, well, I'm walking back in. office, but there's some hand sanitizer, like a pump hand sanitizer.
Pump action.
And I was like, well, I'm walking back in.
I feel like, you know, oh, it's a hand sanitizer on offer.
I'll take that hand sanitizer.
You never turn down a lovely squirt of hand sand, do you?
But what I did is I squirted it out,
and for some reason it sort of went off on a strange angle
and directly shot up into my eye, into my left eye.
It's just a burn.
It was like pepper spray.
It just felt like a burning sensation.
I mean, you did walk in here,
and you looked like you had been the victim of a mace attack.
Like someone had sprayed mace in your eyes.
I was crying.
Like tears were streaming down my eyes.
I was just like, ah!
And I had to compose myself before coming into the room.
I had a wee moment in the room before coming in to see you just go,
oh, my God. Jesus. You a like a marvel supervillain like red eye or
something they'd call him yeah his origin story he accidentally sprayed hand sanitizer in his left
eyeball and i had to like run it under what you guys are going right underwater so i did that but
even yesterday it was quite a blurry vision on one left eye. I'm like, have I done damage
or have I got the cleanest eyeball in New Zealand?
It's hard to tell. He couldn't see out of 99.99%
of his eye.
But boy it was clean. You could
lick that eyeball and not get anything.
But yeah, freak accident dude.
Honestly. So maybe it's karma because I have
told the story and I even told it on Graham Norton
on the red chair about my
other incident that happened with me and my grandad
and his eyeball.
Okay, so a couple of years ago, my
grandad had an eye infection, and asked
me to put eye drops in his eye, so I
grabbed them from the top of the fridge, put about six
or seven drops in, looked down, realised
they weren't eye drops, it was super glue.
Took about six hours for them to
surgically separate his eyelids
Yeah, he sleeps now with one eye open
Now your dear grandad is no longer with us
Do you think that's him?
You know, he's like, you've dined out on this
You've even had a little funny gag at the end of your little quip
Now it's time for some justice
He's sleeping with one eye open now, buddy
So what we want to do, show this
open on 0800 The Hits.
Is eye on the prize.
Okay, you call us 0800 The Hits.
Anything eye related. Now,
I have two morbid fears in life.
One, the sound of people slurping
soup. Really? And second,
eye related content
on the radio. It just, I just,
I'm not an eye guy. No,
it kind of gives you,
even now,
you look like,
you're like,
even the song
Eye of the Tiger,
I just listen to
Of the Tiger.
I have to take it
out of the song.
All right,
so,
oh,
Andrew,
the hits,
four,
four,
eight,
seven,
I don't know why
we're doing this
because no one in this show
is very comfortable
with this,
but anyway,
eye stories,
best eye stories.
Can we make
Jono squirm next?
And all of us,
we'll find out
in just a few moments on that.
Jono and Ben, the hits.
We want some eye stories this morning after I squirted hand sanitizer yesterday.
It came out at a wrong angle straight into my left eye.
And, jeez, I was in a lot of pain.
Yeah, it looks like one half of you was very sad.
One half of your face.
You guys, it all looks a bit like,
he's just been crying in the office again.
I imagine, what is the feeling like?
Just constant burning.
It was like a burn, sting, yeah.
It was really, yeah.
And as I say, yesterday, or even last night,
it was quite blurry on and off.
But anyway, I think I'm all good.
Out of all the things that you think could happen to you in this place,
all the stunts you've done over your life,
this is the one that finally got him.
Finally.
A rogue misfire of the hand sanitizer.
Out of nowhere, yeah.
Those pump action ones, they are.
Producer Humphrey came in too the other morning.
He's like, look, it sprayed it all over my chest.
Yeah, yeah.
It wants to go anywhere apart from your hands for some reason.
But we're going to do eye on the prize right now.
Eye-related stories.
We're going to kick it off with Paul and Masterton.
I wish I could turn my headphones down for this,
but I know we have to stick it out, Paul.
I'm not an eye person.
What happened to you?
In the 80s, my girlfriend in those days, now my wife,
we were living in Sydney, going to a fancy dress.
She went as Goldilocks, so being Kiwis, we picked
some number 8 wire through to keep
the hair off her head.
And in the morning,
she went to pull it out.
She had herself in the eye with the number
8 wire.
Oh, God, Paul.
Taking her to the
doctor in the morning in a taxi,
we ended up having a head-on collision with
another car on the way to the hospital.
While there's wire in her eye.
Yeah, yeah.
I said, we're trying to keep the ponytails out
from away from her head.
Bit of number eight wire, bit of ingenuity.
And pulling the wire out straight into the eye.
And then you had a car accident while she had wire in her eye.
She's like, could this day be any better?
Yeah, got a couple of days off work.
That's the main thing, isn't it, Paul?
There's a bright side to that story.
Still pretty one-eyed.
Paul, that is traumatic.
Wow, thank you very much.
We'll go to Kevin from Harwood.
Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast.
Your eye on the prize, Kevin.
Hey, guys.
Hey, how's it going?
Kevin, do we want to hear the story?
I feel like we don't, but anyway, you're here now.
No, I don't think I want to play it now after this one,
but I'll say it anyway.
Yeah, it's just my wife's eyes.
When she wakes up in the morning, she always rubs her eyes,
and then you can hear this sort of like, oh, it just sounds disgusting, like gristle and...
Oh, like...
Yeah, that sounds really horrible.
Yeah.
Yeah, but this happens all the time,
that she won't go to the doctor and say,
oh, that can't be right.
No, it doesn't sound...
No, your eyes aren't generally,
they don't make noises or sound effects eyeballs, do they?
Yeah, all right, well, maybe...
No, you know, when you rub a piece of gristle together,
like on a bone or a
joint, it sounds almost
like that.
I'm not a medical expert,
but maybe she should, yeah.
Instead of calling the radio, maybe take her to a white cross
or something.
Michael, you've got your eye
on the prize. How are you,
John? Are you alright? I'm good.
I won't lie, I'm hating every
second of these eye-related
phone calls. I'm starting to regret
talking about it as well, but apparently you've got
a nice story that we won't really
want to hear, but we want to hear at the same time.
Hey, Ben. So my dad,
he's in his 80s now. About five years
ago, he woke up one morning
and he looked at his hand and he saw a
brown smudge on it, and he thought, what the hell is that on my hand? And it wouldn't wipe off as his hand and he saw a brown smudge on it.
And he thought, what the hell is that on my hand?
And it wouldn't wipe off.
As it turns out, there wasn't a smudge on his hand.
It was a detached retina.
Oh, dear God.
What?
No.
It was a detached retina from his eye. Yeah.
Oh, God.
God.
So the only cure for that is an injection straight into the eye. Oh, God. God. So the only cure for that is an injection straight into the eye.
Oh, jeez.
A bit like the horror movies, they put a spreader in his eye.
Oh, my God.
Holding open his eyelids.
Yeah, that's it.
And they anesthetise it first with some spray,
and then they wait 15 minutes for that to take effect
and then straight in with the injection.
He's had more than 20.
More than 20 injections?
Yes.
Oh my God!
It does work. It does reattach it.
It lasts about three months.
So it's an age-related thing
as I say. He's in his 80s now but
Jono, you don't ever have a detached retina.
Oh, my God.
I would be like on that chair, I'd be like,
is ending me now an option?
Because I think I'll take that.
Oh, my goodness.
Is his eye a...
Sorry, Michael.
Did you vote for the voluntary euthanasia in the...
Yeah, but like David Seymour on line two, get me here.
Oh, my goodness.
That is just traumatic, the poor guy.
Does he have a problem with eyes?
He said it's, you know, the first one, obviously, he was pretty scared.
But now it's just part of life.
It's just a walk in the park now.
He said as long as the anaesthetic takes effect, you know,
as long as they don't do it too soon, it's fine.
But, yeah, the thought of it's not very nice.
No, I mean, once you've had your 18th, 19th needle in your eyeball,
it's all just part of your day-to-day, isn't it?
Michael, that's going to sit with me for a very long time.
Yeah, it will.
We'll send you out some wild bean vouchers, all right,
so you can get some coffee.
Cool, thanks, Richard.
All right, I regret doing that story now.
Hey, joining us very shortly,
the stars of the brand new Home Alone reimagination movie.
It's on Disney Plus right now.
They join us in just a few moments on the hits.
These show producers were nominated for a radio award
because when you work with these guys,
you deserve a medal.
Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast.
Home Sweet Home Alone.
It's a reboot of the iconic Christmas movies, Home Alone. It's a reboot of the iconic Christmas movies Home Alone.
It's on Disney Plus right now.
It's actually very, very funny.
It's really good.
I really enjoyed watching it the other day, and it's awesome.
It was the night before Christmas vacation.
And the fun was in full swing.
You'll spit our family onto two separate flights.
Mom!
Max, please!
The family left for their big vacation.
Is that everyone? The cars are
leaving now! But forgot
one little thing.
Mum? Dad?
Uncle Blake? They don't
even know I'm here.
Fun movie, but shocking parenting again.
Yeah, it's just someone needs to
call the authorities, I think.
But ironically, we spoke to the stars of this new Home Alone movie,
and they were neither home or alone.
They were together in a room.
Yeah, we've got Archie Yates and Aisling Bea.
We caught up with them in a couple of days on Zoom.
It was a wonderful movie, although can I say the most stressful part is,
because we watched it before talking to you today,
is getting onto the Disney Screener program, because you have have to send an email and then they need to verify you
and then they send you a text and then they ask for your passport number and then you have to
hand over a kidney and then eventually you can watch the movie and it was worth it they only
sent it to me monday night and i'm in it i was in it i was I was present. I still haven't seen it. Is it strange as actors to watch the final edit?
Yeah, I tend to not watch stuff I'm in.
You'll never look at yourself as a product or a thing.
It's like looking at a photograph of a party where you look well,
but you know you're in a fight afterwards.
You just can't look at it going, well, that's just a party.
So, yeah, you can't really look at it objectively.
And it's also your face.
When I'm a character, I don't know what you're like,
I think I transform into a totally different looking English lady.
So when I see pictures of my face, I'm like, they used my face?
What?
It's your face, yeah.
That's always surprising.
I never said they were going to use my face.
Oh, my God, that's my face as me.
Now, Archie, of course, the original much-loved movie, Home Alone, a classic. They never said they were going to use my face. Oh my God, that's my face as me.
Now Archie, of course the original much-loved movie, Home Alone, a classic.
You were negative 19 years old when that one came out.
Were you a little bit nervous about being in this movie?
No.
I don't get nervous.
We've said this 130 plus times now. Thank you. It is not a remake.
It's not a sequel.
It's not a reboot.
It's a reimagining of the story in the same universe.
I love it.
And now you can chalk up 132 times.
Because of that, the pressure to sort of emulate what they did wasn't there.
It's made very lovingly with a load of super fans,
including Archie and myself and the director
and the people who wrote it.
So all of the little bits you find that are nods to it
are because of a genuinely loving fandom.
But to make it a new reason to go and watch something,
it has to be very different characters.
The goodies and the baddies are sort of more messed up.
And so that's why you tune into a different film, I think.
You'd almost call it a reimagination of the original,
wouldn't you? Yes, good job.
Guys, that's a really good way of describing it.
But within the same
universe.
Hey Archie, of course you
worked with Taika Waititi, you know,
who's the greatest New Zealander in the world
and he said you were a lovely, lovely person.
He's very creative.
He's a very smart chap.
He has a great imagination,
and he's very, very intelligent.
Yes.
Yeah, right.
Very intelligent.
When it comes to directing.
Yeah, right.
You've just described, you're like,
he's probably a little unhinged,
but he's great to work with.
He's very creative.
Yeah.
So this is only your second movie, though.
Yes.
Has your life changed?
I mean, it must have changed since Jojo Rabbit and then obviously this.
I mean, yeah.
I get recognized quite a lot now.
You were just in time, so we had a little break,
and then you went off to Times Square.
Yes.
Big picture of his head in Times Square in New York.
Wow.
That's when you hit the— I imagine you're getting. Wow. That's when you've hit the, you're probably, I imagine, getting some discounts at McDonald's
when you walk in now, aren't you?
I hope so.
Yeah.
Because, Aisling, you were on one of the late shows this week with Taylor Swift.
We understand you were like, I'm going to hang out with her afterwards.
We're going to go out.
We're going to be BFFs.
Did that happen?
Well, put it this way, lads.
I'm here talking to the pair of you. Okay. i didn't even i i caught the kind of smell of her
drifting off but i didn't really manage to see her it felt like she actively wasn't trying to
be my friend which i know can't be what the truth is well listen i'd like to say this is the next
best thing but really you've gone down about 300 runs on the ladder from Taylor Swift. Ah, you're not that bad, but
you're also not that great.
Okay, well, we had a minute.
We might actually wrap this up ourselves now, I think.
We can just close the laptop and then we can
go, no, it's so lovely to meet you guys.
We loved the movie. It was awesome. I can't wait for
everyone in New Zealand to see it, and
congratulations on all your success.
Oh, thank you. Thank you, too. Haven't you been
voted sort of the world's best country?
No, we're back in the trenches now, mate.
We've slept, we've slept.
I love it though.
What's that, like one COVID case?
UK, there's like one COVID case
in houses with no people in them.
Hey, we've got two today
and we're panicking, all right?
Just leave us alone.
Lovely to meet you guys.
Congratulations.
Take care.
Bye, all our love, New Zealand.
See you guys. They're awesome. the stars of the new home alone movie home sweet home alone you can get
it right now on disney plus just like family the family members you're ashamed of
now jono we've we've known each other for like 20 years we've been mates for a long time working
together every day for probably the past at least the past 10 years or so and we've got a good good arrangement right
we do we have some rules in our relationship don't we any rules yeah never pick up or drop
off at the airport yeah never offer or accept assistance moving house yeah and no lap dancers
in the work environment oh yeah well that and no presents for birthdays or christmas no
presents because you find i love that role i love it you know i'm happy i'm comfortable i don't know
how you feel but i questioned those rules again last week because you had i knew you had a birthday
coming up on the weekend and i was like oh should i get you something and then i remembered the rules
yeah and i was like well i could get you something and but then i was like well then you're gonna
feel obligated to get me something and then we're going to get into the circle of presents and i'm like i'm happy i don't
know if you're still happy i wanted to check with you that our agreements is fine that you don't get
me anything i don't get anything doesn't mean we don't like each other and want to be mates and
hang out with each other we're just comfortable not getting each other i mean you sent a really
lovely text it was a beautiful text that you sent ben uh and he said listen my present is no present
because that's our arrangement and i text back i was saying i couldn't have asked for a better
present not having a present and having the obligation to return to backhand another present
over the net to you because once you start that slippery slope there's no coming back although
there is a little part of me just wanting to throw the present cat amongst the pigeons just one year one year once
at a sneaky christmas too late for a birthday you know you're like oh there oh i got you something
and then it'll be like oh did you oh wow you know it's yeah i just want to do it and i want to be
the first one to start it i don't expect anything back but i know the enormous amount of pressure
that'll be on them well especially if you can't do it too late, like a Christmas Eve sort of present or
a Christmas Day present, just dropping that over
and going, oh, I got you a present.
Are you a present person, Ju?
So this is the thing. I have some
friends that I'm like, yes, and
we're in this cycle where we
give each other presents. And I like that.
Don't get me wrong, I love giving gifts and all that sort of stuff
and I'm not against anyone doing this, but
I do like our arrangement as well.
And then I've got some friends who could be just as close,
just as best friends, but we don't have that arrangement.
And it's beautiful.
But then I'm like, what if I am speaking about the friend that I got a present for
to my friends that I don't get presents for?
Does that make them feel awkward that I don't get them presents?
But we've got this plan, you know?
Yeah, it's a safe place.
It really is. And everyone's expectations are met they know what's that
know what they're getting in for and they're not getting in for anything because you're not going
to be given anything i had that happen with my wife once one christmas a couple years back and
we were both like well let's just sort the kids you know and the family members let's not get
presents for each other and then christ day she did And I was like oh
Same situation as you just that last minute thing
If you thought about that I was like oh did you
Yeah and you're like I thought we had
Yeah I stuck to my word
And she's like I just saw this and thought of you
And it was so lovely
No no none of this I just saw this and just thought of you
But now I look like the monster sitting here
Because I didn't get you anything
That's rough
If you're going to have this agreement stick to it Because I questioned her even before I said to her but now I look like the monster sitting here because I didn't get you anything. That's rough.
Yeah, I was like,
if you're going to have this agreement,
stick to it.
Because I questioned her even before I said to her,
my wife, I'm mad at her for your birthday.
And she's like,
oh, did you not get him anything?
I said, no, we got an agreement.
We're cool.
We're cool.
We're cool.
You and me though.
I remember that one fateful Christmas
where I just thought of you.
Don't forgive me.
I don't want to cross your mind.
Yeah, yeah, nah.
Yeah, nah.
Yeah, nah.
The home of yeah, nah.
She'll be right in at the end of the day.
Jono and Ben.
Breakfast on the hits.
You're on the hits.
Jono and Ben.
That is The Killers.
Such a great tune.
Mr. Brightside.
And they're coming to New Zealand, as I said before.
Christchurch in Auckland
November next year, tickets on sale right now
The Killers imploding the Mirage Tour
Then you were a little upset weren't you
that the song kicked into gear and
the guy from The Killers started singing and you were like
I didn't even say call to win tickets, what did you say?
I said if you like The Killers, text
4487
I didn't say win tickets
You didn't say what you were winning
It's just people going, I like't say what you were winning.
It's just people going, I like the Killers. You're like, oh, great.
So he got a lot of texts.
People like the Killers, which is good. And Nelson Cates, you like the Killers, do you?
I do like the Killers, guys. I was just assuming
they were tickets. Oh, no, it was just a text
to see who liked the Killers.
It was just a poll.
No, I love them. Colmar Brunton poll there.
Would you like tickets? Next question. Okay, we. No, I love them. Colmar Brunton poll there. Would you like tickets?
Next question?
Yeah.
Okay, we'll give you a double pass.
Please.
Yes, please.
Double pass coming your way.
Awesome.
Cheers, guys.
Now, you're going to go to the Christchurch show.
Who are you going to take, Kate?
I should probably take my husband.
Obligation.
Always got to take your loved ones, don't you?
Hey, next time we ask you, just try and not make it sound like such a drag.
Yeah, I'll use a fake name.
Good on you, Kate. Well, you enjoy The Killers
and you enjoy the rest of this Tuesday in Nelson.
Lovely day there, is it?
Yeah, it's pretty nice, actually. Thank you.
All the best. How good is that? The Killers.
There's so many great acts coming to New Zealand
next year. We just announced this morning Justin Bieber
coming to New Zealand in December as well.
Yeah. Jeez, it feels like too much entertainment. You know, I can only handle one concert a year. Too just announced this morning Justin Bieber coming to New Zealand in December as well. Yeah. Jeez, it feels like too much
entertainment. You know, I can only handle
one concert a year. Too much for me.
That you can't even stand up for.
I can only stand up for 90 minutes
a year. You can leave early to beat the traffic.
Are you one of those people? I do like to
leave early to beat the traffic. Why are you paying for a concert?
Yeah, classic Jono. Just speed time.
Yeah, love to get out before the
encore, you know.
The encore's the best.
Oh, but the encore's so good.
That's fine, I'll listen to it on Spotify or something on the way home.
So sad.
I'd rather have a clean exit.
Clean exit, be home in time.
You're a strange individual.
Want more Jono and Ben?
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