Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: Ben tears Jono down

Episode Date: July 3, 2022

We check in with $20 Karen before we hit the road on our tour down the country to give her the $20 we owe her. Jono and Ben provide their best sport chat, Ben's wife finds someone else's comedy way funnier than his and Jono provides some tech chat and motivation for the start of our weekSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits with the Jono and Ben podcast. Kia ora and welcome to the podcast today. It's the 4th of July. Oh, 4th of July. Oh yeah, so it won't be the 4th of July in the States until a bit later on. Yeah, because we're always a little bit ahead. But it's always a big day over there, right? Independence Day in America.

I don't know what... Ironic, isn't it? Yeah, not too much cause for celebration in the States at the moment. No. What is Independence Day actually about? I'm obviously celebrating independence. Fourth of July is the annual celebration of nationhood. Commemorates the passage

of the Declaration of Independence. Well, they're kind of... Fading out on that. You were born in America, weren't you? Yeah, you were. I was born in America. America! But yeah, I got a US passport. Yeah, and very confusing when I fly to America for work. Or pleasure.

So you wouldn't need any of those visas that everyone else needs? No. Because I have to leave New Zealand on the New Zealand passport, arrive in America on the US passport, depart America on the US and then arrive back in here. So technically it looks like I've travelled nowhere. Oh, yeah. Like you've been a bit dodgy.

Yeah, like an international man of mystery. He's been smuggling a lot of stuff on his journey. I've been getting away with it for years. You can't use a lot. Yeah, like someone in the family has got a Canadian passport and he uses the wrong one, a New Zealand Canadian one, and that just throws the system out of whack. Oh, yeah.

You know, you go through and you use the wrong one and you're like, oh, jeez, I've just meant to go back on that one. I did that. I was in a holding bloody room for about an hour and a half. Well, there you go. Nightmare. Don't do that. Don't do that.

But yeah, when I land in America, they're like, welcome home, sir. And I'm like, thank you. I try and put on a voice. Thank you. Thank you. And you have a New Zealand accent. Welcome home, sir. You're like, thanks very much.

Thanks very much. We were actually in America For July 4th once with Tracy Your old friend Tracy I think I saw the photos She's obsessed with the US Tracy Donaldson a dear friend of ours And we were over there watching all the fireworks That patriotic country We could learn a thing or two off that couldn't we

We're a nation of tall poppy choppers That's our thing That's our thing aren't they? We could learn a thing or two off that, couldn't we? No, we're a nation of tall poppy choppers. That's our thing. We'll build you up and then chop you down. That's what we do. Yeah, that's our thing. They're so proud of, like,

they're even proud of like their city. Like, you won't even say you're from Auckland, Ben. He goes, I'm originally from Marsden when he's asked. Yeah. You know?

They're like, John, I'm saying you're from New Zealand. You're like, originally from America, you know? You know, over there,

they'll be like, Auckland, you know, just be, not here, mate. We You know, over there they'd be like Auckland, you know. We'd just be, not here, mate. We just don't back ourselves enough, do we? It's kind of a show. I like that. I do like that about the show. It's like, you know, if you're wealthy, you're like,

you flaunt it, you've got this thing, I paid all this, you're telling it, New Zealand, it's the opposite. But I like that about New Zealand as well. No, we do the opposite. We tell everyone how cheap we've got something for. You know? I was bragging I got a new Warrior. Well, it was a used Warrior's beanie from an op shop.

I was like, five bucks, mate. Five bucks, yeah. In America, you're like, I bought a bloody Warrior's car. It's a sign right there. I got a gold-plated beanie for $100,000. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, but New Zealand, you're right. Five bucks.

Five bucks is a good deal. You know who I do appreciate, too? I was just watching a video of him. Israel Adesanya, who, you know, the UFC fighter. He is not originally from New Zealand, but grew up here. And he's got a good attitude. You know, he's backing himself. He's not out there

going, oh yeah, I'm just lucky to be here. You know, he knows he's good and he backs himself. And then he's getting FaceTime from Drake and stuff like that. How cool is that? Yeah. More people need to back themselves in this country.

I'm not going to do it. Okay, for myself. Just so you know. Back yourself, mate. Back yourself. No, no, no. What do you want to achieve? What are your goals?

What do you want to back you into? Well, I'd just like to sort of get through this week, actually. Okay. All right. I'll help you through that. All right? I'd just like to get to the end of this day. Okay. Well, we can do I'll help you through that. All right. It's not to get to the end of this day. Okay.

Well, we can do that. Day at a time. Enjoy the podcast. They're always getting listener compliments. Happy to be on the

radio with your hero. So you. Jono and Ben on the hits. Big weekend. It wasn't over the weekend.

It was really cool yesterday to see the Warriors play their first home game in two and a half years. Over a thousand days. That team hasn't played at home, so it was awesome.

We went along, didn't we? Yeah, it was fun. Great that the Warriors had a win. It was great the stadium was sold out. But the most enjoyable part was about the 300 pitch invaders. Oh, jeez. Just the security were working harder than the Warriors out there tackling pitch invaders. Oh, some of the biggest tackles were from the security guards, right?

It was pretty incredible. People dressed in full kit as the Warriors running out onto the field and then just getting smashed. One of them was like, he's going to get smashed, and he did. Yeah, and it was probably at that moment the Warriors went, yeah, this is why we haven't played at home in two years. It's like we had to get all the pitch invaders from the last couple of years, the quota up. We're like, guys, we've missed two and a half years of pitch invading. There was more pitch invasion than there was rugby league.

It was wild. And then there was another young guy, sort of a ram raiding age, who ran out and he did a pitch invasion. He felt like he just got swept up in the madness. And he got pummeled. It feels like as soon as you're out there, it's free reign on the security guards, right? It's fair game, I think, yeah.

It's fair game. And then I saw the young guy on the track, so he was getting interviewed by the police, they were going through, because he was filming it. I think they deleted all his footage, right? Yeah, the police were looking through his phone. How's he going to make his TikToks now? Exactly.

Apparently if you do it at Eden Park, it's a $20,000 fine. Really? I don't know what the fine is at Mount Smart, but yeah, it's an expensive attention-seeking stunt. But it was cool to see the Warriors back as a couple of sellouts ourselves over the years. It was great to see a sold-out crowd and get some support behind the Warriors.

It was awesome. How was my – because I'm not a traditional go-to-a-sports-game guy. I was with Ben. How was my sports banter? It was good. Yeah, I was like, get him in. Get inside him. Get game guy I was with Ben How was my sports banter It was good Yeah I was like Get him in Get inside him

Get outside him Get out of here It was good You had a beanie on A warrior's beanie A supportive beanie I was like this is good I bought that at an op shop

On Friday And I only hung out I went to the What's it called With all the costumes Look sharp Look sharp Went to Look Sharp

Next door to Look Sharp There was an op shop It was a five dollar beanie Don't know whose head was in it Did you wash it first? Did you give it a wee scrap? No The good thing about being bald

Is there's no worry about nips You know That's the only advantage Well for you But maybe the other Someone else might have been worried I'll resell it on now Dave Dobbin too

It was cool to see him Playing before the game wasn't it? So yeah He came out And did Loyal And Welcome Home And The Slice of Heaven He was beamed down from the heavens Dobbin too. It was cool to see him playing before the game, wasn't it? So yeah, he came out and did Loyal and Welcome Home and the Slice of Heaven. He was beamed down from the heavens. Dobbin arrived. No, it was a wonderful atmosphere.

And you could tell when the team walked out, they were like, wow, we haven't experienced this in a long time. It was quite emotional. I thought it was quite cool. They had the fireworks coming out, the smoke and the team running out. It was from that tunnel that they ran out from that first game all those years ago. And the old lads played some, you know, threw the ball around on Saturday night as well.

A lot of lads stuff going on there. I didn't see that game. Yeah, the All Blacks as well. What up to them? Scrolling through your feed. All right, we're not here to do terrible things to spiders. Whoever turned up and said, hey. Who was there for that?

Who was there for that? Yeah, everyone else went, hang on, no, we're not here for that. Someone came in and, oh, we're doing the things to the spiders today? And they were like, no, no, you definitely missed the memo on that one. It's a birthday edition of Scrolling Through Your Feed this morning. Tom Cruise, 60 years old. July 3rd is his birthday, so yesterday New Zealand time, but in the US it's July 3rd right now.

So yes, 60, juicy, looks amazing. Incredible, isn't it? 60 years old. Scientology just keeps you young at heart and on the outside as well. They did a bit of a breakdown on the article I was reading before on stuff.co.nz. So a billion dollars is what they've made for Top Gun Maverick, but over his career he's made more than $10 billion at the box office. His films have made more than $10 billion.

51 films he's been involved in as an actor or producer. Three marriages he's had. And 17 years ago it was since he jumped on that couch for Oprah. That's 17 years. It's crazy, isn't it? Jeez, he's had a career, hasn't he? Tom Cruise. He's the ultimate when you think of a movie star.

You think of Tom Cruise, wouldn't you? You wouldn't get a more movie star, movie star. You think of Tom Cruise, wouldn't you? You wouldn't get a more movie star, movie star. I think of him and Julia Roberts. That's sort of iconic Hollywood. They're superstars, yeah. I shook his hand. I told you I shook his hand. Before all the Scientology stuff,

I went to Jimmy Kimmel, the show, and you don't know who the guest was going to be when you went and watched the talk show. And then suddenly it was like, it was Tom Cruise coming out. Okay, okay it was cool and they did some gag where he got given popcorn from Jimmy Kimmel and then he started he got into a Jono prior like oh we went offered it to the first person in the audience and then he was like I need to offer this to everyone and then he sort of slowly went 20 minutes later shook everyone's hand in the

audience so I was like that's pretty cool and what did you what did you say to Tom Cruise when he shook your hand oh nothing really I just. I just kind of shook his hand. I mean, it wasn't really a moment to go, I probably would have said something like, I'm from New Zealand. He would have gone, yeah, cool, mate. Were you like number 36 in the handshake? Yeah, pretty much.

Yeah, right. So he was just trying to get through the numbers. He was in the handshake trenches by then. It was his mission impossible, shake everyone's hand in under 20 minutes. Does he look good? Does he look good in real life? He did look amazing.

Yeah, I remember looking mad. Good teeth? Yeah. Or Hollywood. Yeah. I remember looking at him. Good teeth. Yeah. Just all Hollywood. Like, this is the Hollywood look. And Robert Irwin, 18 years old. How's that? Make you feel old as well?

Bob Irwin. Of course, Steve Irwin's son is 18 years old. I was looking at some photos before of Steve Irwin out there with crocodiles, holding his baby, Bob, out there, like feeding the crocodiles. And you're like, wow, we've really moved on in the world. I think there was a bit of furore about that photo, wasn't there? Yeah. He's out there holding a baby

and also holding some food on a stick for a crocodile. He's also revealed that his dad, Steve Irwin, had an alter ego called Glenn Glamour. So he would put on false teeth, a wig, and a ridiculous multicoloured trench coat and really weird pants and sneakers and walk around the zoo

because he would just get harassed by people wanting photos and people like me wanting handshakes. So he'd put on this sort of alter ego and walk around the zoo

so he wouldn't get bothered. So that was the little thing he did. But like, if you're going to put on an alter ego, blend in. Put on like a wig

and a big colourful Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat yeah oh that's got Bob Irwin looks like the spitting image of him

yeah he looks good doesn't he yeah handsome Bindi's 23 married children that's a young

that's a young age to start a family isn't it 23 yeah well I suppose these days back in like

not young in Timaru or anything it's a geriatric birth in Timaru. And that is the birthday edition of Scrolling Through Your Feed this morning. We're heading on the road, hitting the road today. You're going down the country, very excited about this. Yeah, we owe $20 to a lady who we don't want to be in debt to, and so we've decided the only way to get that back to her

is by jumping in a caravan and dropping the $20 to her. And the most elaborate expense of and dropping the $20 to her in the most elaborate, expensive delivery of a $20 note in the history of debt collection. But I won't keep talking, Ben. No, don't. No one wants to hear my nasally voice. Because we've got this. Have a look.

The year 2014. Alan, pre-her bullying allegations, took a selfie that melted the internet. Get in here. Andy, look. I got it! I got you! Kim and Kanye wed in a marriage that would last, well, a marriage. Yeah, I feel like a f***ing loser.

And in New Zealand, a misguided voicemail was left on a misdialed number. I'll get my 20 bucks or she's going to get 20 whacks. Subsequently, $20 Karen was catapulted into national superstardom. Then it all unravelled after a well-intentioned Queen's birthday radio promotion. Well, who would want $20 more than you? So we're going to give you 20 bucks. Oh, very good.

Thanks to some lacklustre administration, Karen did not receive her $20 prize. Jono and Ben think they can hide from me for the $20 they owe me. It was a giant buck-up. Now, two men are on a mission to pay off their outstanding debt. How do we do this? I suggest you come and give it to me.

Jono and Ben's $20 tour on the hits. Starts today, the $20 tour. We hit the road. We're going to take our $20 wheel as well with our $20 notes. If you see us, you can spin the wheel and hopefully win $20, just like we're going to give Karen. So we're going to call Karen just to see if she's's expecting us she still wants us to come down she still needs her money um and maybe is you know internet banking an option well all these questions and more it

feels like it could be but i think we've committed we've gone in too deep hey very exciting we're hitting the road after the show today uh to go on a mission to return 20 to 20 karen uh we are karen and christchurch $20, so we need to give it back, otherwise we're going to get 20 whacks. We're in a huge obnoxious, well, it's not obnoxious, I'm obnoxious. We're in a great caravan, thanks to Brits.

I'm not going to say that it's an obnoxious caravan, but we're going to be, it's sign written up. Maybe that's the obnoxious part of it, Ben. We put our own names on a caravan that we've just rented. Who's going to peel that off at the end of the journey? But thanks to Brits, we're heading off today very excited about it. Now, we promised a lady called Karen $20

on Queen's birthday for the Green Queens. Now, Karen, you may remember from this call in 2013 from a misdialed number in a voicemail she left on her phone. Hello, this is Karen. Rachel thinks she can ignore me and hide from me for her $20 lousy dollars

that she owes me from, like, well over three months ago. She won $600 at the pokey's at the Stokes Valley Bar and she said to Jade and Dion,ion don't tell karen you've seen me because i owe her 20 bucks well i'll tell you what i'll get my 20 bucks or she's gonna get 20 yes so that so that's that was the original message then we uh ended up owing karen uh 20 of our own through not giving her out a price.

We forgot to send it to her. Not a great move. She's not happy, and she joins us on the phone. Now, Karen, it's your old mates. I know it's you. Yeah, John, old JMB, your mates. Yeah, I saw it on Facebook, is it? Yeah, we've been promoting it.

We're coming to visit you, but we hadn't told you that. No, you hadn't. The $20 tour. So, you know, zhoosh up the house. We're coming to visit. Make up the spare bed, Karen. No, we're not staying. Make up the spare bed.

I'm living in one bedroom. Well, we know the only option then. Top and tail. Top and tail. Top and tail. I'm not going to be the filling of the sandwich. Karen, okay, we're going to bring our $20 down and we're going to give that to you by the end of the week, all right? Okay, really good.

We're really looking forward to it. And do you know what we're doing along the way, Karen, is we're giving away $20 notes. Yeah, so I heard. Yeah, but we'll be sure to save one for you. Yeah, you better. One with my face on. Yeah, or else this whole trip will be redundant

if we don't turn up with $20. Yeah. Oh, no, it'll be lovely to meet you in person. It will be. It'll be awesome. We're thinking on the way through We need to stop off at the Stokes Valley Bar though You're obviously going to be there But we thought we needed to go there

See Jade and Dion Don't tell Jade and Dion we're coming though Stokes Valley Bar is still open Is it closed? Now what's the history of the Stokes Valley Bar? Was that your local? No, I didn't, what's the history of the Stokes Valley Bar? Was that your local? No, I didn't go to the bar. I moved into Stokes Valley.

I lived there 11 years. But I went down there when I moved in, and I went, how much is a stubby? And he went, $6. And I went, $6.12 is $72. A box at the supermarket is like $22, you are the weakest link, goodbye. That's what happens, I mean, you can do that anywhere you go. No, no, you've got to come to Auckland, jeez, the prices are going up. No, I don't go to bars, I go to the supermarket and I watch the games on TV in the warmth. Yeah, no, we're paying 12 bucks for a drink here, Karen.

Oh, bugger Yeah, no, we're paying $12 for a drink here, Karen. Oh, bugger that. No way. Well, I mean, I'm sure the Stokes Valley Bar were like, yeah, but we need to turn a profit. Yeah. All right, Karen, well, we'll see you at the end of the week with our $20. We will.

Very good. I'll see you then, guys. And that means you don't get $20. F***ing whack, Paige. Love your work, Karen. Yeah. All right. Okay, guys.

All right, mate. Have a good one. Okay, you too. See ya. Bye. Tomorrow we're going to be in Vegas and we're going to be

broadcasting at the Hello Stranger cafe. So you come down, free coffee. Free coffee? Free coffee? Now there is.

Now there is? I've seen it now. This is going to send them back not after the cost, not after the two years that we've had. Yeah, come down, free coffee, free coffee, free coffee. Now there is. Now there is. I've seen it now. This is going to send them back, not after the cost, not after the two years that we've had. Yeah, come down, get free coffee. You can play five words, potentially. We're going to choose someone to play five words and spin the $20 wheel from time to time to win $20. Geez, is there any more reason why you wouldn't come to Hello Strangers? So we'd better call them, just say, hey, is everything okay?

You're expecting us? All right, let's give them a call. Hello, Stranger Cafe. You're speaking with Claudia. Hello, Stranger. You're speaking with Jono and Ben. Hi, Jono and Ben. How are you?

Good. We're coming. Yeah, that's what I've heard. We're very excited. Oh, we're very excited too. It's going to be fun. We haven't come to your cafe before. We're looking forward to it.

You run a panini? You got a panini? We do have a panini. Love a panini looking forward to it. You run a panini? You got a panini? We do have a panini. Love a panini. I love saying the word panini. Yeah, I like a panini. Jono's running a tiny little coffee these days, a fluffy-sized cup. Can you make that for him?

Absolutely. We make the best coffee in, I reckon. Best coffee in Vegas. Yeah, I've got onto these weird little kid cup things, and I get mercilessly mocked in public by everyone I come across. See, we're not going to mock you. We're just looking for a joke. We're not here to mock you.

They're going to mock a Chino here. Do you want me to put my boss on? No, you're good. It's just a warning that we're coming. Just calling for a weird chat. Yeah, we're calling for a chat. We've got a whole lot of money to give away if people want to come down as well. We've got $20 notes.

We've got to spin the wheel. We play our game Five five words for five grand. Are they all right to play in your cafe? Yeah, we like to play games in the cafe, boss. Absolutely. Maybe you should have

got the boss on. I'm sorry, I'm asking you questions that are above you. What time do you usually start? The cafe opens at 6.45. 6.45? Okay,

we'll need you there about 4.45. You'll be there at 4.45? Well, the show starts at 6. Sounds good. Will you be there? Will you let us in at 4.45? Okay, we'll need you there about 4.45. You'll be there at 4.45? Well, the show starts at 6. Sounds good. Will you be there? Will you let us in at 4.45? Hell no.

I'm not getting out, but my boss will be. No, your boss. He would love to let you in at 4.45. Back on the boss, eh? Well, we can't wait to meet you. All right, thank you very much. You guys have a good day. The Hits.

This is the Jono and Ben podcast. We try and motivate you on a Monday But you know it's been great The Warriors won, the All Blacks won Izzy won in the UFC as well Which is awesome No more COVID I think It's not a thing, it's gone

COVID's done If you don't read the news it's done Just don't pay attention We try to make you feel good on a Monday But already those reasons should make you feel good already Well here to make you feel even better We're like your coaches. Your coach is sending you out onto the field of life for the week.

Ben, I'm rubbing liniment into your thighs. Ben's staring you dead in the eyes. It's getting awkward. And every Monday morning, we motivate you with some Instagram audio. And today, Erykah Badu. You know Erykah Badu? Musical artist? Yeah. Erykah musical artist yeah this is have a listen to this okay this is a philosophy about the population of the world there's a philosophy

that says 85 of the people on the planet are followers 10 of the people on the planet are followers. 10% of the people on the planet are creators or leaders, and 5% of the people are observers. So when you got 85% of the people who are willing to follow, the 10% who are usually the ones who are assassinated or shunned or discredited because they can see everything that's going on. And they would ruin it all for the 10%. So the reason why it's so easy to do that is because people are willing to be led. 85% of people, in other words, can't be arsed. Just can't be arsed. 10% make money off those 85% of people, in other words, can't be arsed. Just can't be arsed. 10% make money off those 85% of people,

and then 5% of people turn up in tinfoil hats to Parliament. So I don't think she said that. Camp outside Parliament for three weeks, and that is the population of the world. It's interesting when you think about it, isn't it? So what's she trying to say? Less motivation and more just fact. Mass. It's not like mass problems. I don't think about it, isn't it? So what's she, she's trying to say, like, it was less motivation and more just fact. Mass,

it's not like mass problems. I don't think about mass problems, Erica. I guess my point being, or Erica's point being, I won't take her philosophy, is, do you want to be in the 85%?

Or do you want to be in the 10? Or that weird 5%? Okay, so let's put the 5% away, you know, up to you. They're the ones who get assassinated. Yeah,

that didn't sound like a great option. But could you eventually stretch out the 10%? Could the 10% become 15%, 20%? No, you don't want that, because then how can you capitalise off the 85%? Okay, well, let's just keep this between ourselves. Well, yeah, that's right now. You've talked about it on radio. Yeah, so that's the decision you need to make this week.

Are you on the 85, the 10, or that weird little 5? Spy. Know what little 5? Spy. Know what's up. Spy.co.nz Like a festering pimple, the celebrity gossip's been building up all weekend. Belle Crawford's here to pop it.

What's going on, Belle? There is so much to pop as well. Stranger Things Season 4, Volume 2, was released over the weekend. It's been one of the biggest shows lately. Everyone's loving it

and maybe I don't know if you guys either on, but... I've never watched it, but I know it's a thing. Yeah, I watched the first series. People love it. It's a real throwback sort of shot in the style

of those sort of 80s sort of movies and TV shows, which is pretty cool. Like E.T. Yeah, yeah. Like Stand By Me and things like that, yeah. Got quite a cult following,

and so they dropped Season 2, Volume 2, very smart by them, whoever's planning their marketing and stuff. they gave them a lump of part one and part two came out is that the kate bush was part one with kate bush's song yeah kate bush was part of it yeah and the demand was so high that it actually crashed netflix over the weekend for a little bit not for long obviously they got it back and running but everyone was just tuning in to

watch this volume two so yeah pretty massive have you watched it i've watched a little bit of the first seasons but i'm not really a sci-fi person like i'll watch bits of it but yeah i i'm not you know i don't get into star wars or anything either i know my son he binged the entire star wars series from you know the very beginnings where it was just george with a puppet holding flying spaceships through the air to right now. He goes in deep. You were like, oh no, not for me, even then. Yeah, and I was kind of like,

oh, maybe later on I was a bit kind of interested. Then I kind of lost interest. Dad took me to a Star Wars movie when I was a kid and I was so bored. I just lay on the floor underneath. How ungrateful. You lay on the movie theatre floor? I lay on the floor.

I was like, this is so boring. So ungrateful of me. That floor is diseased. I was I lay on the floor. I was like, this is so boring. So ungrateful of me. That floor is diseased. I was down there for a while. Also, you may have seen over the weekend, Adele played a concert at London's Hyde Park. It looked so cool. And one thing is that her current boyfriend, Rich Paul, was sitting next to her husband. So they're all obviously getting on really well, which is really cool, I thought.

Simon! Yeah, old Simon. Oh, is he? Oh, that's good that they all get along. Yeah, it's nice. A bit awkward though, isn't it? Hey, Rich, I got you a seat next to my ex-husband.

I really admire when people can make things work. That just shows that they're good, mature people and not going to be petty. I understand if you'd find it hard as well, but that's cool to me. I think it's awesome. Yeah, totally. That's fantastic. What does he do, Simon? I know we spoke to someone who used to work for him wasn't he a music manager or something oh here we go he's a british charity entrepreneur oh yeah known as the ceo of a non-profit organization

what i got and you dumped him adele and wrote albums about it yeah during the concert there were a couple of funny moments of Adele on stage. One of them she actually interrupted the show to make sure that security could get to someone who needed some help. Stop stop stop. Security, can you please, can you please, can you please help? Right in the middle there, can you see where they're all waving? And also she asked if it was anyone's birthday.

Have a listen to this, it's pretty funny. You got any birthdays? Happy birthday. Oh my god you're legal, you're 18. I'm not drinking at the moment my love. Have a listen to this, it's pretty funny You got any birthdays? Happy birthday Oh my god you're legal, you're 18 I'm not drinking at the moment my love But later on in the show I'll give you some cash

I'll buy you a first drink That's pretty cool So cool, and that is Spy You can get more now at thehits.co.nz Thanks Belle Who recorded that footage? Did Adele approve the recording of her show? I don't know.

Scrolling through your feed. Okay. If you like great... Here's some news. I had something and then I forgot about it. It's Monday. A great weekend of sport, as we mentioned earlier. The Warriors are homecoming.

They won the All Blacks at Eden Park and two sold out events over the weekend in New Zealand, which is pretty awesome. Wonderful stuff. We were lucky enough to go to the Warriors yesterday, Ben Boyce, and see every single one of those pitch invaders get destroyed by security. And Israel Adesanya as well in the UFC,

which was pretty awesome to see him winning again. He's just incredible. Amazing. I saw on his social media, Drake was FaceTiming Israel. I know. The night before the fight. Hey, good luck for tomorrow, mate. He's like, you know, I saw on his social media, Drake was FaceTiming Israel. I know. The night before the fight. Hey, good luck for tomorrow, mate. He's like, yeah, no, good being training hard.

Drake. Drake had put a million dollars on him to win as well. Just like you. Maybe that's why he's FaceTiming him. He's like, how you feeling, mate? How's things going? Just so you know, I've got a lot riding on this. A million bucks.

It's pretty crazy. Anyway, he had a good win, didn't he? And now, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern just got back from the UK. Now, she met up with the British Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, who we love. He's a little bit shambolic, right? His hair's all over the place. Operating at varying levels of shambles-ness, Boris Johnson. His hair looks like he's a shambles.

He operates like he dresses like a shambles. He looks like he's always running 15 minutes late for life. And they had a handshake, you know, one of those political handshakes, one of the pose for a photo for the media, and he was shaking her hands, and he was like, you've got to see this footage. He was so vigorous, like up and down. It was like he was going to rip her whole arm off.

Yeah, I've watched the footage, and there's some wonderful commentary from the UK. That is the most violent handshake I've ever seen, and he's not letting go of her arm either. Someone call an ambulance. There's a woman at number 10 who needs her right arm reattached. Yeah, he was being heckled as well as this was going on. So maybe that's what was making him get a little bit angry.

But have a listen to this. He was getting heckled as the fight was going on. Prime Minister, is your leadership lacking? Are you drowning in sleaze? We suspend Chris Pincher He's like, can you not ask if I'm drowning in sleaze as I'm shaking this lady's hand? If anything Were they for Boris or Jacinda?

Is she drowning in sleaze? I don't think she's drowning in sleaze but hey, I'm not sure You're drowning in sleaze We need some physio after that Yeah, let's go and watch it today I don't know if ACC covers that, does it? Or if she comes back here She's going to need some serious physio after that. Yeah, let's go and watch it today. I don't know if ACC covers that, does it, when she comes back here? She's going to need some serious physio on that.

She also met Prince William as well. They talked about his close relationship with New Zealand, and she left them some merch, including a rugby top for the forthcoming Women's Rugby World Cup, as well as a rugby ball for the family, and a copy of a book called Tulip and Doug, a beautiful story about a young girl and a pet potato as well. It's a young book, which is lovely.

I think one of your main roles as a leader of a country is just delivering merch to other people. That they're probably not going to use. Yeah. Like, that's a suitcase. She would have gone over there with a suitcase load of merch. She gave some merch to the Spanish guy. What am I going to bring for them, you know?

And Prince William's like, he's probably got a bloody storage king container. A lock-up. What have I got to bring back for them, you know? And Prince William's like, oh. He's probably got a bloody storage king container. A lock-up. Yeah, we have to keep all that stuff. What would they do with it? Like, he can't throw it away. That's disrespectful. He can't sell it.

Secret trade me account, that's what I'd be doing. You reckon he's got a secret trade me account? Yeah, I reckon. What's going on? Yeah. But, you know, what's... Prince underscore Willie, you know, or something like that. Well, that's not secret.

I don't know what I'll get away with. Prince underscore Willie. Okay know, or something like that. Well, that's not secret. I know what I'll get away with. Prince underscore Willie. Okay, I get that. But yeah, I mean, no disrespect to the Rugby World Cup, but when's he ever going to wear that? When? You tell me, Ben. He might put it on.

He wears suits. He's got to wear suits. Yeah, true, you're right. And pompous clothing. That's his job. And that is What's Making News this morning on Monday, 4th of July. Hey, next, we're heading on the road and how you can win. We'll tell you in just a few moments on the hits.

The Jono and Ben Podcast, the world's number one podcast. Please don't check those stats. Now, we've got producer Bee Humps in the studio. We witnessed something. It was on Friday after the show, actually. I feel like it might be our fault. I feel like there's a lot going on, right? We're about to go on tour.

It's a busy week. It's a busy week. We're going on tour. We're going on the $20 tour. You've got a young baby at home. Yeah. And, yeah, there's a lot going on. So is it our fault?

What's going on? No, I wouldn't say it's your. I'm not putting the blame on anyone. I mean, he's not changing your nappies at 3 in the morning. Well, that's true. There's a baby at play here as well. Yeah. But, you know, he's less, he's tired.

He's constantly tired, permanently jet lagged, varying levels of tiredness. And we went across the road and we got a coffee. Now, the lady behind the counter, as producer Behunson was ordering his coffee, asked, what's your name? Can I get a name for that order? Yeah.

At which is standard practice in a lot of places, so they can call it who's coffee it is. Not a surprising question to receive. Yeah. But you got into a stage where you were like, hmm, you're like looking up behind her at the wall, trying to remember your own name. I looked at you, because I was standing next to you,

I was like, is he doing a gag? This is a weird gag if he's doing a gag. Because I was like is he doing a gag this is a weird gag if he's doing a gag because I was like I know his name's Ben my name's Ben as well it's like it's all but I was like

do I jump in your name is Ben if you're playing who wants to be a millionaire you'd be out before they even started the game she must have thought

I was a complete sociopath because for a long time I was just staring her dead in the eye you were and I was just like and she looked at us going, is your friend okay? Has he got amnesia?

So I had a mini stroke. Tough one. I'm like, does he want to make up a name? Is he in witness protection? I mean, what's going on? What was happening? No, I just could not. I was thinking of something else at the time,

and I just could not. It just couldn't come to me. She blindsided you. What a question. What's your name? I wasn't expecting that. I might explain why I didn't pass school cert. You appeared very suspicious.

You look like someone trying to smuggle something past customs. Yes. But you got there in the end. You did. Lange didn't back it up with what's

your wedding anniversary then you would have been like I'm out I don't want the coffee anymore

you got me great weekend for sport for New Zealand over the weekend with the All Blacks beating Ireland quite convincingly

a lot of people thought Ireland could win that first game so it was great to see them win at a sellout Eden Park

and then the Warriors, the first home game over two and a half years, they won as well. As well as the UFC, there was a lot of other sport as well. Yeah, so it was awesome. Yeah, it was.

A big weekend of sport, Ben. I went to the Warriors with you and my major worry was, you know, embarrassing you. Going, I know you know a lot about the team. So I just kept repeating Sean Johnson's name

over and over again. Johnson! Johnson. Johnson! And you're like, that's not Johnson. Stop saying Johnson. But he's there. Johnson's out there.

He's doing stuff. What we like to do from time to time is just call numbers at random and put them on to what they believe is a live sports talk radio show. Now, other shows with producers that weren't quite as frazzled would probably organise a sports reporter to talk to. Other shows with producers that can remember their names? Yeah, but at the moment there's a lot going on, so instead of organising sort of a Scotty Stevenson,

you know, an expert, Andrew Mulligan, whatever, you know, we're going to just call someone at random and pretend they're our sports reporter live on a sports station. Now, it's every New Zealanders worst nightmare to be thrust into a middle of a live radio show and it becomes everyone's worst worst nightmare when they realise what radio show they're actually on

when we tell them at the end. Yeah. So we're going to go through to this number right now. Alright here we go. Hello. Hi it's Michael here For your interview For the sports talk show

Sports talk show Yeah I'll just put you Through to the studio Nothing but sport Call 0800 80 10 8 It's sports talk On Newstalk ZB Such a big weekend

Of sports Alive on the airways Right around the country Right now The Warriors Of course The All Blacks And we want to hear it all From our roving reporter Come on in Oh, such a big weekend of sports. Alive on the airways right around the country right now. The Warriors, of course, the All Blacks, and we want to hear it all from our roving reporter. Come on in. Hello.

Oh, you're there. Hello. Hello. What a weekend. Talk us through it. I have no idea what you guys are talking about. What did you think of the Warriors? I didn't watch them.

I am absolutely flabbergasted. I don't know why. You're live on the radio now. I figured that out, yeah. Well, listen, we've got you. We understand you're the rugby league and All Black specialist. No. What did you think of the games? Yeah, talk've got you. We understand you're the rugby league and All Blacks specialist. No. What did you think of the games?

Yeah, talk us through it. Your favourite moments. The key points in the game. I haven't watched the rugby game. I'm actually quite shocked at the moment. What did you think of the shocking result? Yeah. It was shocking.

It was a bit shocking. I don't know what to say. I didn't watch the game. Some of the tactical decisions have been called into question by the people. I don't know what to say either. Okay. None of us know what to say.. Okay, none of us know what to say. Hey, it's Jono and Ben actually here. You're not in the middle of a sports talk radio show.

Oh, f*** you guys. What's worse, you're talking to us, but we just wanted some report on the sport. We thought we'd call a number at random, and unfortunately that was you, so I'm so sorry about that. I call a team by the and unfortunately that was you so I'm so sorry about that. Of course you guys sort of f***ed it.

You guys didn't do that. Hey mate, the less F-bombs you drop, the better. Hey, we threw you out. You thought you were live on the radio. I get it.

Hey, we want to send you along to go see Thor, alright? It's a brand new Marvel movie. It's in cinemas this week so you can go along and see that on us, alright? Oh, that's fantastic. Thank you so much. You can watch that, but you don't have to watch

the sport. And next time we cross you for a sports report, maybe watch the games. Yeah. We'll give you a bit more warning next time, eh? You're very funny. You're awesome, eh? I love watching Jono and Ben at 10 and the next factor and all that sort of stuff.

Well, thank you very much, and we love talking to you about sports. We love pranking you. Yeah. Prank you guys had me. Mature, responsible, and considerate. Three words we sadly can't use here. Jono and Bean on the hits. Now, my wife Amanda, we've played some audio before.

She loves Rowan Atkinson, particularly Mr. Bean character. We played this audio from while ago. It was on TV. And she hates hearing this, but she loves Mr Bean. Have a listen. She loves Mr Bean. I mean, she does. And there's a new show on Netflix with Rowan Atkinson.

It's called Man vs. Bee. And it's a show. And one of my daughters saw it the other day when it pops up on your Netflix and she's like, oh my god, we've got to play this to mum. We've got to see what her reaction's going to be like watching this new show. Are there times where you sit back in the dead of night and go, I wish I could bring my wife as much joy as Mr.

Bean does? If I could bring her half the joy. I've never bought that laugh. She's never once watched anything we've done or listened to anything we've done and laughed. It's like, that's your real laugh. All those other times you've been faking the laughs to our stuff. Yeah, she just goes, that's funny. No laughter. So this is Roan Atkinson.

So this is him not as Mr. Bean, but this is him playing a character. He's house-sitting a house and there's like this rogue bee and it goes into a whole lot of slapstick comedy. And to be fair, it starts a bit more suspenseful. And I was recording a minute waiting for the big laughs and I was like, oh, this is a bit suspenseful. He's going to burn the book. Watch.

Oh, no. He's got it on the element. He's going to put the wrong one on. She was invested in the storyline. She was invested in the storyline, but it wasn't getting those big laughs. Oh, no. Yeah, so she was worried. No, no, don't burn the book on the element, Mr. Bean.

Yeah. But then in the end, the laughs started coming. It's like he's dancing. It was with the bee, I think, somehow flowing up his trousers. Uh-oh. Champagne stuff. And then the bigger laughs, they came from my wife, Amanda. Here we go.

If she went to a Mr Bean Rowan Atkinson live show, he'd be like, is this lady taking the piss? Can we just stop the show? Can we remove the heckler? Like a positive heckler? Still going. But it would put you off. And then at the end, you know,

so the laugh started to build and then it was like, ah, he's back. He's back, baby. He's back. What is he doing? What is he doing to invoke that? And all just one of those ones

you just, you watch and you're like oh it's all gonna go wrong he's gonna be but you're giving it nothing you're giving it I somehow feel like

Amanda's laughter is the funniest thing about the Mr Bean show well maybe it's a brand new series and gee she loves it anything to do with him that's not an endorsement

I don't know what is the hits the Jono and Ben podcast available on iHeartRadio. Let's go. Jono and Ben with five words for 5K. Stop any time to keep the cash.

Thank you. Or play on to win more. I like this a whole lot. It's a brand new five words. You can still win $5,000 if you match all five words, but for each word you get correct along the way,

you win cash, but you need to decide if you go to the next word because if you get one wrong, you lose all five words, but for each word you get correct along the way, you win cash. But you need to decide if you go to the next word, because if you get one wrong, you lose all the cash. It's a champagne revamping, isn't it? Just slap some lippy and some foundy on it. Breathe some life into this old dog. It's been a lot of fun, actually. It's great because it gives a chance for people to win a lot of cash. Let's get Ange on from Hamilton, Moreno.

Welcome, Ange. Good morning, boy. You're on New Zealand's... Is this An from Hamilton, Moreno. Welcome, Ange. Good morning, boys. You're on New Zealand's... Is this Ange? Yeah, it's old mate Ange. Yeah, old mate Ange. Not, I don't know, your age. Let's not go age-shaming.

No, I'm joking. It's mate Ange. Yeah. Ange, have you heard the new format, how it plays out? We have. We've been playing it. Yep. You know what to do.

Do you prefer, I don't know, let's, you know, a bit of, what do they call this? Post analysis? Post, yeah. Market research. Market research. That's the one, Bill. What do you think? New v. old, Ange?

New. New. New. Yeah, it's good because it's the same format. You know, you'd still win five grand, but the money along the way is a nice little addition. All right, Ange, who do you want to send into the soundproof booth? Jono.

All right, Jono. He can head on all over there. We'll get your five words, and then we'll find out how far you want to play in the game. He's in there now. First word this morning, Ange, is shortland. Street. Street.

Lazy is word number two. Boy. Lazy boy. Capital is word number three. Capital. City. Oh, you're playing a great game. Builders is word number four.

Hammer. Hammer. Hammer. Hammer almost with a question mark at the end of it. Jacket is the final word. Jacket. Coat. Coat. I think you played a really good game,

particularly the first few words. We'll get Jono back out of the soundproof booth and we'll see how far you go for some cash. Do you know with state of the art technology Producer Behumps can write little notes On a computer screen and he said you attended Two 21sts on the weekend Yeah

Separate ones Together you went to a 42nd birthday And it says you're feeling a little bit dusty Yeah Alright well let's try and win you some money and make you feel better about a Monday morning. Here we go.

We'll go to the first word, which is worth $25. Word one, $25. We said Shortland to Ange. What do you want to say to that, John? I'd say Shortland Street. And you'd be correct. There's $25. Well done, Ange.

Do you want to go to the next word now, the word number two, which is worth $50? Yep. Carry on. All right. Carry on. She's still a bit dusty. She doesn't know what she's doing.

Word two, $50. Okay. The $50 word, Jono, lazy. Lazy boy. Oh, well done. $50 coming your way, Ange. Ange, okay. Do you want to go to word three, the $100 word?

Bearing in mind, if you don't get it right, you get nothing. Yeah, carry on. Oh, she's got to do it. I like it. The $100 word. Word three, $100. Capital. Capital, Jono.

City? Yeah, well done. And word four, $500. This is the $500 word. This is a big leap up. What do you think? Oh, yeah, carry on. You've got to do it.

Oh, Ang, this is the one you struggled on. You struggled. And you get nothing if Jono gets this wrong. You want to do it? Yes. She's a gambler. Okay. Word four, $500.

I haven't gone this far in the new format of the game, but I like it. Builders is the word. Builders. Crack. What did Ange go? Hammer. Oh, Ange. I'm so sorry.

Had the hundy. There you lost it all. And we'll just go the final word just to see if we got that far. Jacket was the final word. Coat. Oh, so you could have got. Imagine if jacket was the next. Yeah, I know.

Ange, thank you so much for playing today. We really did appreciate you listening to the show. Thank you. Love your work, Ange. They've got pranks. They've got puns. Now they just need some actual listeners. Jono and Ben to the show. Thank you. Love your work, Ang. They've got pranks. They've got puns. Now they just need some actual listeners. Jono and Ben on the hits.

So Jono and Ben, along with the Briscoe's lady, want to hear your kitchen mishaps with Kitchen Ref. R800 the hits, or you can register at thehits.co.nz. You can score a $500 Briscoe's voucher, judged by the Briscoe's lady each week for the best kitchen mishap. And she joins us right now. Good morning. Bonjour.

Bonjour. Now, you were a bit sick last week. Everything okay? Yes, yes. I just did a wee overnight in hospital. Just some pain, but it's sorted. So all was well. So thank you.

You guys just did it without me. Just like that. Well, it wasn't as good. I tell you that much. It felt like there was 40% off the whole segment. We had to make the tough decision of deciding who deserves the $500 Briscoe voucher and I wanted to split it between the

callers, but I was told we couldn't do that, so we have to make the choice again this week, and you're making the choice again. Oh, it's hard. It's hard. Just so you know, splitting is not an option. I was told that. Yeah, Ben was told that. We're looking for the best stories. We're getting some great texts through from people who are registered for this segment.

We're going to head to the Hollywood of the South Island right now. We're going to kick it off with Kerry in Mosgiel. Welcome. With that beautiful sign on the hill there, Kerry. It's good old Mollywood. It's great. Mollywood. Isn't Molly another name for? Oh, yeah. I think you're right, but that's not talking about that right now. You don't want to be naval for me anyway. Okay. It's great. Mollywood. Isn't Molly another name for?

Oh, yeah, I think you're right, but that's not talking about me. You don't want to be naval for me anyway. Okay, now's not the time. Kerry, what was your kitchen nightmare, mate? Oh, God, it's bad. Really easy recipe. I thought I'd whip it up while the kids were out of the house playing, and it was a moro crackle.

So you just, like, put it, well, I put it on the stove. So I had to melt 125 grams of butter and I had to mix two morrow bars. I thought I'll just lock up the house because you know it's this time of year so it's like really cold. So I went down to the bedrooms, closed the curtains. I thought while I'm here I'll just check the emails. Because when I came back a few minutes

later I walked into the kitchen and there was just like a layer of black smoke and I almost had a heart attack. I thought what have I done? The butter and the morrow caught fire. And it went up into the range hood. It melted. It was coming down into the pan or the pot. Nearly died.

I mean, I almost nearly died, literally. So hold on. The range hood had melted from the flames and was burning. It was so bad. And then instead of calling 111, I actually rang the local guys and said, can you come to my house and just check my kitchen? I was so embarrassed. And I said, don't put your sirens on.

Don't put your sirens on. Just come quietly. Never leave the stove on and check emails. Life lesson, never leave anything on the stove. No. Kerry, who, okay, set the kitchen on fire. That's a good one. It's going to be a tough one to beat.

We'll go to Flavia, who's in Wellington with us this morning. What happened, Flavia, in the kitchen? Well, I was living with this flatmate who could only make avocados on toast. And so he made a very large volume of avocado stones and he'd put them down the insincurator. And eventually the insincurator kind of hit peak stone volume and it became terribly blocked. Like a storage facility for avocado stones.

I can only hear like one. It wouldn't be able to go down the insincurator. But anyway, he's taking a risk. It was a risk and it didn't pay off because it was so blocked. But he kept putting more things down there so it started to smell. And I was like, look, the stones are your problem. Deal with it. So he put a saucer on top and then basically walked away

and didn't think about it for a week. Problem solved. We're starting to clean up about a week later, getting ready for some Airbnb guests to arrive. And I realised that the smell has started to come past the saucer and it was still very much there. So I was like, fine, I'll deal with this. I pick up the saucer.

The Nsingarata is teeming with the hugest maggots I've ever seen. Oh no! Oh, okay. Okay. They were like hoo-hoo grubs. What did you do? Well, I was absolutely in a panic because the B&B guests were

arriving, so I grabbed the barbecue tongs and I pick out the maggots one by one and I fling them out the window. Oh my god! What about old Avocado on toast guy? Yes! He was at work and so I couldn't

just bring him in unfortunately. Jeez, that is, okay, Briscoe's lady, Tammy, we have a tough decision, an almost burned down kitchen or maggots the size of your foot. That's disgusting. And is this chap still your flatmate? We had to have a serious chat about it.

I think they are both absolutely fabulous stories. I've been absolutely riveted to both sets of stories. But this morning, ladies and gentlemen, I am going to go with Kerry and Mozgiel. Well done, Kerry. Get the $500 Briscoe's voucher. Flavia, we will give you four avocados as a consolation prize. Flavia,

that's a wonderful story. Don't ever ever let him do that again. Thank you all. We'll catch you again next week. Really appreciate your calls. Bye. It's back again next week Really appreciate your calls Bye Thank you It's back again next week And register at the

Hits.co.nz To win a $500 Briscoe's voucher With a long And extinguished career Jono and Ben On the hit You know there's times

In your life Ben And you're greeted With technology And you know For me it was The internet Just last week Wow Got the grandkids to show me how to use it and there's a lot of stuff my blog my blog my blog but no there's one thing that i

found over the weekend oh sorry this is i just was thinking about the internet the other day and i'm the person who ever invented the internet must be so you know like if they watched all the videos and all this a lot of the stuff that's posted that, they'd be like, this is not what I invented it for. This is not, you know, for, you know, you'd be quite frustrated of all people. Do you know how many photos and videos of genitals there are on here? I did not.

People bullying other people. It's like, no, this is not what I invented it for. Bullying? Yeah. It's like, no, this is meant to be a way that we can connect, we can buy things. It really does bring out the best and worst in humanity, the internet, doesn't it? Sorry, I had to get that off my chest.

Who didn't beat the internet? It was like an American military thing, wasn't it, back in the day? I think so, yeah. I spent so much of my life designing this thing, and now you just call each other names and comment sections. Exactly. Anyway, yeah, so something that really it blew the barnacles off my boat over the weekend when i heard this technology now there's a new piece of

computer software which they have an audi cars so have a listen to this the new audis have you seen what they have for red lights audi Audi technology is linked to all of the traffic lights. So when you're driving and you come up to a traffic light and it's red, it'll have a countdown for when it's going to turn green. So it'd be like five, four. No way. And they also have a feature where it tells you if you want to hit every single green light and never get caught, what speed to be at. It'll be like, it'll be like to hit every single green light and never get caught what speed to be at it'll be like it'll be like to hit all green lights on this route travel at 35 miles an hour and you'll be perfect how does audi have access to that like i don't know blowing their barnacles too

crazy and then i looked online there's a video video of someone showcasing it on their phone. It's going five, four, three, two. Light turns green. Crazy. I'm going to work over here, though. Or maybe it's something that you're one of those things you get, and it's like, oh, it's just for in America. Yeah.

Yeah, so it doesn't connect up with that. Like American Netflix, I think, is a lot better than our Netflix. Yeah, it doesn't connect up with the New Zealand system. You're like, is a lot better than our Netflix. Yeah. It doesn't connect up with the New Zealand system. You're like, what? Yeah, sorry. You had to use that in America. Yeah. Now, listen, if I can take you back to the beginning of this,

where you were mocking the haters on the internet. Yeah. And now he's just come in here and gone... I was just saying... He's just gone and trolled me. I've come in here with a mind-blowing bit of technology. Audi can tell you what green lights are, what speed to travel at, so you get all the greens to work and you're like,

won't be available in New Zealand. Classic New Zealand attitude. Classic New Zealand attitude. Then he comes in all high and mighty. I wonder what the guy who invented the internet would think about everyone bullying each other. I was just saying that it might not be, let's not get our hopes up. And then if you do, you've got to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for this car.

This poppy was growing tall. And he comes in with his machete and chops it down. It's like a car none of us are going to be able to afford. It's got technology that probably we can't use in New Zealand. You're right. I'm one of the haters. Get on the internet and moan about it then. That is the Hits.

You've got John O'Meara. The Hits. For more podcasts from the Hits Network, check out iHeartRadio.co.nz.