Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: Ben Was Caught Teaching His Kids Blackjack

Episode Date: February 28, 2022

Ben wanted to teach his kids a card game, but he forgot the rules of every game apart from blackjack - so blackjack it was! We also spoke to Diana who shared an outrageous story about something that happened to her on a flight. Finally, Jono made a very good observation about something that all parents over the age of 60 do. Enjoy the poddy!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits with the Jono and Ben podcast. March the 1st. Pinch of the punch, the first of the month, guys. Justin Bieber's birthday. Oh, Justin Bieber's birthday. Thank you, Producer Juliet. You're welcome. How old's the Biebs today?

28. 28 years old. Yeah. Jeez, he's still young, isn't he? Juliet, if you don't know the complex backstory Juliet spent, a large part of her formative years obsessing, stalking, and fascinating over Justin Bieber. Give us a fact about Bieber, apart from his birthday.

Gosh. You learnt the drums, which I always find awesome, that you learnt the drums to try and be more like Justin Bieber because if you ever met up with him, you'd have something in common. Yeah, because I actually knew. I was like, well, he's a big star and I've got nothing in common with him. So if I need to marry him, we've got to have something in common. So then I took up drum lessons.

At what point would you be meeting up with him and then go have a set of drums available too to share your love of drumming? See, I don't know. I hadn't thought that far ahead, to be fair. Because if you bump into him in the street, you've got to go and find like a rock shop or a music shop

and then you can show to, because how many drum lessons did you end up doing? I probably did them for like a year and a half. I got it. Did you? You must be quite good.

No, no, I was terrible. I had no motivation to practice. Like every time I'd go, it was a huge. Your motivation's Justin Bieber. I know. What more motivation do you need? I know, but I played it

and then I just like didn't enjoy it as much as I thought I would. I can do? I know, but I played it and then I just like didn't enjoy it as much as I thought I would. I can do a basic beat but that's as far as I can go. There's a quiz online actually. How much of a Belieber are you? Oh God.

So I'll just fire you a couple of quick questions. What's Justin Bieber's middle name? Do you want the options? No, Drew. Oh, is that why he's got the Drew clothing? Yeah.

Correct. Okay, that makes sense. You'd hope so. That makes sense. There's a few here that even I would know, like what countries he's from. Obviously Canada. His first ever single from 2009 was called.

One Time. Well done, well done. What's his mum's name? Patty. What's his brother's name? Jackson. That's a half-brother. What was the name of the lead officer in the investigation

against your stalking case? Mum and Dad. What did your parents think about this Bieber obsession? Did they try and tone it back? They tried to a little bit. And then, do you know what was actually the turning point for me? Was I was probably year nine or maybe year 10, and I formed my first group of guy friends as a tween,

and they were all coming around to my house for a swim. And at this stage, I had all these posters in my room, and I was like, oh, my gosh, like they have no idea that I'm like this, and I can't embarrass myself. So I ripped all the posters down. Oh, you wrote the posters down. No, not ripped.

I like carefully folded them and like packed them away. I've still got them in my wardrobe. Were they blue-tacked jobs or pinned up? Blue-tacked, blue-tacked. Yeah, literally. But blue-tacked sometimes you can take the paint off. I know, I know. But I was very careful because I knew mum and dad wouldn't be too happy.

Even though they were secretly stoked I was taking all the posters down. And then I never put them back up again because I was like, I'm officially friends with guys and I can't look like a weirdo. That was the end of it. because you waited outside his hotel room. He has touched you before. Yeah, wonderful, wonderful touch. You've touched some really good, you've touched a lot of famous people. You held Meghan Markle's hand. Yeah, I did. That's right. No, I didn't touch Robbie Williams, no, but I was in the same room as him, which was a great, great moment in my life.

That's a good couple of touches, though, isn't it? You've touched our hearts. Yep. Yes, I have. We should do this on the radio one time. Who have you touched? But that's on X. Sounds a bit weird.

Let's not do that. Fred Andrews phoning through. I just like that. I mean, celebrity-wise, maybe we'll refrain it, we'll revise it. Yeah. Do another. Yeah, okay. That's a good idea.

I've got an R. Kelly on my watch. Oh, no. Okay, okay. Now I've made him not want to do it. I'm going to go there. No, we've got to do it. I'll tone back. I'll tone back.

Hang on. It started in such a wholesome place, but now I've really gone to. Hold on. A text here from M. Jackson. Oh, my God. All right, move on. This morning, though, on the podcast, we talked to a New Zealander who's in the Ukraine.

Really, really interesting chat about being in a country that's with a whole lot going on in the middle of a war, as well as that we have a lady who had a horrible experience on a flight. You won't believe how that ended. Enjoy it on the podcast. The Annoying Ones Talking Between the Socks. Jono and Ben on the hits. Hey, welcome along to the show.

Great to have you with us. How's everyone going? Ju, you all right? Yeah, living the dream. How are you feeling, Ben, boys? You had another day of hardcore cricket commentary yesterday. Yeah, a lot of chatting about cricket yesterday, guys. You've got it all now.

You must have it all out of your system by now. As you know, it's been a dream of mine to commentate cricket. Since I was a little kid, I was a big cricket fan, big cricket nerd. And for years, the last couple of years, I've been wanting to get on the ACC. But having had a lot of the ACC away, much like yourself, Jono, on COVID-related issues, then I really have seen myself do a lot more cricket commentary than I ever had hoped and dreamed, and now it's, you know,

I've done it. I feel like I've ticked that box, but I've got more to do today. It's now a nightmare that won't end. Did they not win yesterday? No, so it's gone into another day, but yeah. It's not looking that great as a Blackcaps fan, which is a shame, but hey, we'll be there again

talking more rubbish today. Oh my God. Commentating, talking about the world's slowest game for how many hours a day? Yeah, well, it's pretty much from 11 o'clock to about 6.30. Holy hecka. Yeah, I was explaining to my kids last night, I was like, I've got to go back tomorrow

and the girls were like, why? Why are they playing five days? Why? It's a really good point. I don't know why cricket needs to go for five days. I love cricket, but it is a long time. Who's listening to you talk about it? There's a few people, mate. A few cricket tragics like myself.

But you have been trapped as well. Not with the cricket, but trapped in isolation. Well, it was a cicada, actually, to be honest. There was a cicada trapped in the room, and I couldn't, for love nor money, find where the hell it was. So yesterday, I spent probably two or three hours going on a cicada hunt. Now, the cicada had taken a wrong turn, obviously, in the motorway of life.

And boy, when they are in a confined space, it's like a mosquito. You know, it slowly gets louder and louder. And it really creates quite the noise. Full blown noise. It was almost like a festival atmosphere inside the bedroom. You're right.

Mosquitoes in summer is the other one, isn't it? Especially at night. It feels like as soon as you turn the light off in summer, that's when you can hear it. Yeah, totally. Now, I wanted to introduce a new game to the show uh it's because i'm broadcasting in a garage at the moment uh guess the noise from jono's garage okay okay it's a new game show bradley walsh is listening don't feel too threatened mate i don't think this is going to change the game show landscape but uh you just have to uh guess the noise that's in my garage okay all right hopefully

you don't hear any noises that raise alarm bells yeah i'm a little worried a little scared what this is going to be all about but uh where you go here we go here we go ready and what's the piano that's that's your daughter's uh piano from yesterday we heard well done there you go just uh playing a uh a little tune from the piano there. One from one, Ben. One from one. Classically trained. I just wanted to show off that I'm classically trained on the piano.

I feel like that's demo mode on the piano. But anyway. Why would they have a demo mode on a piano? Well, it's like it's a keyboard. It's a situation. They have a demo thing. You push it. You pretend you play.

But anyway, that's fine. Okay. Here's the next one. You ready? Oh, God. Oh, okay. Sounds like a... Some sort of bike pump situation?

Oh, well done! Oh, your bike pump. It's a bike pump. Okay, do you like this game? Because I can do one more. Okay, one more. I can see why Secret Sound's so popular on radio. I'll go and grab another thing.

Hold that, hold that. Are you ready? Yeah. All right. Do that there. What the hell? You're starting up something. It sounds like a cat purring.

It's a chainsaw. What? Now, it might not be appropriate chainsaw hours at the moment. Sounds like the gentlest chainsaw there is. Yeah. Very polite chainsaw at this time. It's like, I know it's early. Yeah, guys, that was Guess the Noise in Jono's garage.

Oh, jeez. That's me panting if you want to guess what that noise is. I'm really starting to worry about you, mate. Next, you're just away. $200 countdown voucher. It is the hits. You got Jono. The hits. The Jono and Ben. The hits.

The Jono and Ben podcast. From the Humble Yum Yum podcast is celebrity cook, Anish Raj. Good morning. Oh, there you go, bro. I was just listening to that song. What was the whole music you had this morning? The whole music was something about date night at Applebee's. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Fancy like, ooh. Fancy like, ooh, yeah. It's all about the fancy things, but they're not actually that fancy. The New Zealand equivalent would be like having a sausage at Bunnings, that sort of thing. Yeah, it's like going to Danny's on date night, bro. That relationship's going nowhere.

Now, tell me, where is the perfect place to provide a date night meal, Ganesh Raj? Well, you know, Jono, it's always down to the budget. How much money you got? Tell me. $22. $22 for how many people?

Six of us. How big's your date night? I like to keep my options open. I like this. And you get them all in the room Jeez. I like to keep my options open. Yeah, okay. I like this and you get them all in the room at the same time so your options are open. You're a smart man, Jonah. And it's a process of brutal elimination. It's brutal, alright, because for $22, they're having

snicker bars, morrow bars and maybe petrol station flat white. What is the most romantic food? Well, it depends where you come from in the world. People ask me this all the time, but it depends, right? I mean, if oysters are meant to be aphrodisiacs,

that's probably the most common romantic food. Oysters, right? Oysters and champagne. Are you an oyster guy, Ben? Yeah, I love oysters. Oysters are great. What about you, Jono? They're a little slimy and gross. He hasn't got a very... Your palate's very bogan. What about you, Jono? They're a little slimy and gross. He hasn't got a very...

Your palate's very bogan, isn't it, Jono? If it's not white bread and... And fish fingers. That's it. Will you have a battered fried oyster? I'll have some... I'll stretch it to calamari. Deep fried calamari. Oh, they're related, are they?

That's right. I mean, what are you going to know if I say that? You're going to go, yup. Hey, Ganesh Raj, he's from the Humble Yum Yum podcast, and he is both equal parts humble and yum yum. This week on the show, Hayley Sproul. Hayley Sproul is also part humble and part yum yum. Well said.

I mean, she's outstanding, mate. She's got, I mean, when you talk about how many arrows does someone have in their quiver, you know what I'm saying? She can do 27 things is what I learned. Yeah, she's very talented. She'll shoot you 27 times. She used to be on our TV shows and now she's basically hosting her own lots and lots of shows. Do you know that her favorite thing to make at home when everybody else isn't looking is a

veggie burger, bro. A veggie burger? Why is she so guilty about it and ashamed? Because it's unusual. You know, it is unusual because the word burger didn't really come from vegetables in the old days, did it? It came from a slap of meat. So what's she doing in there? Is she making a

patty, a vegetarian patty, or is she just making like, my wife loves a halloumi burger, just, you know, with something like that? No, not at all. Your wife loves the halloumi burger? Yeah, well, she's vegetarian, so that's what she'll have if we're having burgers. She'll make halloumi burgers, yeah.

Damn. All right, so Haley's going the other way a little bit. So, you know, you pick your base, right? You can go like beans, chickpeas, potatoes. So there's different things that will clump up together. You need them to clump. Now, what are the, you know, you got a Burger King and stuff like that, Ganesh. And they've got their patties, but they're not real meat.

What on earth is in those? You mean the plant-based ones that, Jono? Oh, you mean the plant-based ones. The ones that taste like they could be real meat, but they're not. Well, look, those ones are scientifically created, Jonah. It involves lots of science. That's a very vague answer. I don't know how they do it, but they did it.

Some science and some creation. I actually did this crazy show about them, and here's what I learned. I don't really know how they do it. I don't want to know, but I know it's a soy based protein and the thing that they've managed to duplicate is this thing called heme heme H E I M I think it's H E I M it's basically you know when you put a patty on the barbecue and the blood starts to globule out the top you know how little bit you get that little kind of blood vibe happening on the top as it cooks yeah yeah that yeah. That, they've managed to replicate that into these burgers.

And so when you eat it as well, there's a little bit of that, it's that iron flavor that meat has. You know, we're all so used to, but if you take it out, we immediately know something's missing. That's mainly soy-based products. Yeah, soy-based products and a bunch of other numbers. You know, there's a bunch of L45939. 4345.

A bit of filler content in there. And your favorite one, bro. Your favorite one 666. Well, that's really interesting, actually. Hey, Ganesh, each week, thanks to Countdown, we give away a $200 voucher. And if anyone listening right now would like it, so thanks to the Humble Yum Yum

podcast and Countdown, just call us right now, 0800 THE HITS. And you can win a $200 Countdown voucher, as Jono said. Every day's a fresh day to enjoy Countdown's fresh summer produce. Head and soul today. It is a hit. You got Jono and Ben. Tested safe for listing from home.

Jono and Ben on The Hits. This week we've been talking a wee bit about relationship sabbaticals after Ben Stiller, the actor, he was with his wife for many years. Then they had a five-year break and they got back together during the lockdown in America and stayed together ever since. Yeah, it's like calling half-time on a relationship almost, isn't it? Yeah. And you get to see, it's an opportunity to see if there's any better options out there.

You're right. And you figure out there's not, so you may as well spend the rest of your life bickering and moaning with one person. Well, yeah, you're right. It's kind of like a half time and then there's a second half and sometimes you're playing

and other times you're on the bench and someone gets subbed on that's a better player. You have to watch awkwardly from the sidelines. And is the grass always greener? Like, is there a better sprinkler system next door? You get the opportunity to find out with a sabbatical. And it's amazing. So many people have actually done it.

We spoke to a couple yesterday. My parents, yeah, they decided to separate and divorce. And then I went and lived with my mum. And then about seven, eight years later, they got back together and remarried. And they've been together ever since. Well, we've actually had two, to be fair. Oh, two.

Oh, yeah. We've broken up and got back together twice. Yeah. Can't stay away. And currently together? Yes, yes, we are. Yeah, we've bought a house together and everything again. So it's a thing.

It's a done thing. Don't go getting any ideas, though, Ben, with our marriage. Oh, right. Yeah. I just want to see what's out there. As you say, you know, is the grass greener on the, say, Well, I'll answer that question. Yes, it is.

But here the grass is dry and shriveled up. The grass is greener where you water it. There you go. Oh, that's a wonderful saying. 800 the hats. Get that off an Instagram post. Probably. 4487, have you had a relationship sabbatical?

We're going to talk to Julie next, who apparently had a 40-year sabbatical. We'll find out the reasons why they got back together next. It is the hits you got, Jono and Ben. If you're a guy here for romantic advice, you are in serious trouble. Jono and Ben on the hits. Jono and Ben in your mornings. We're talking relationship sabbaticals. Apparently, Julie's got a big one. You'll remember Julie, Jono and Ben, in your mornings, we're talking relationships, sabbaticals. Apparently, Julie's got a big one.

You'll remember Julie, Jono. She's Christmas crazy, aren't you, Jules? I'm not crazy. I just like Christmas. You're a raving mad lunatic, we understand. Ho, ho, ho. Julie had the flatulent Santa. Remember she played with the audio of that, Jono?

You better watch out. You better not cry. You better not pout. I'm telling you why. Oh, my God. It's Santa. Remember she played us the audio of that, Jono? Who came up with this? I mean, who was like, you know what? Beautiful. That's beautiful stuff. Have you packed the Santa away for another year? Yes, he'll be out in October.

Oh, October. You get in early, don't you? He's that early. It takes a lot of work. I've got a half a container full of it all. Wow. Gosh. Well, Julie, we're just talking about relationship sabbaticals where you've taken a break and then you've rekindled years later.

So you were with your husband. Yes. I was sneaking around with him for a wee while, but there was some opposition to him. Oh, really? So Julie's off smooching with everybody. Okay. Sorry, that's a line from Home Alone, a Christmas movie.

So you were sneaking around with him, were you? Behind closed doors, Jules? Oh, no, we didn't do that. No. Open doors? No, no, no. I had to sneak around because my mum didn't like him much. Oh, really?

So how would you meet him? Oh, sneakily. With a moustache on or something and a trench coat. Bunking school. So you were together for, what, three years, and then nothing happened for how long? 40. 40 years?

Yes, I went on and married someone else. I got a divorce, and we sort of lived within 10km of each other, and I thought, yeah, I sort of knew where he lived, so there'd be the odd call down there late at night. Oh, so you were still sneaking around, smooching everybody. Sneaking around. No sneaking around.

I was sneaking around 30 years later. And then we lived together for a few months. Then we got engaged. Then we bought a house. Then we got married. Then we moved 400 or K's away from there together. So many kilometres

away. Yeah, we're together now and my only regret is that we didn't get together sooner. Right, so it was a 40 year difference between your first meeting to when you actually hooked up. Yep. So lovely, you've made up for some lost time, that's awesome, by rekindling a relationship.

Yes, and I haven't regretted a minute of it. All right, Julie, you've warmed our hearts this morning. Hayley joins us on 0800 The Hits. Hayley, you had

a relationship sabbatical? Yeah, I'm married. Yep. You're married. So you were with this person and you broke up and then you got back together years later?

Yes, we did. So that's talk. A year and a half we had a break. Oh, you had a break for a year and a half. So then you got back together years later? Yes, we did. So that's talk. A year and a half we had a break. Oh, you had a break for a year and a half. So how long were you together before breaking up? So we were sort of, I suppose, 21 getting together, broke up at 32. Year and a half break and then got back together. So you needed a bit of a break, bit of a breather, and then decided, was there any reason why

you decided things were, you know, actually, no, things were better when we were together? Oh, it'd be easier staying together than it is being apart. Seeing too many people go apart, and it's harder. Yeah. Yeah, convenience again. Well, not always convenience, but yeah. And my best friend now. Oh. Great.

Wonderful. Oh, that's wonderful. Married to your best friend. Yeah. Isn't that lovely? I've always pitched to Ben that we should, and he's like, well, I'm already in a marriage. Yeah. But it's like a work marriage. We are. We are. Any regrets?

No. Best thing I ever did. Do you regret the time apart? You know, obviously your best friend. No. No, I don't at all. I think we both grew amazingly. Like, you put things in perspective, I suppose.

What hanky-panky did you get up to in that year and a half? Nothing. Nothing? Nothing, no. No panky or hanky? What about him? No, nothing as well, and I think that's why it worked. That's the public statement.

I highly appreciate you talking to us this morning, all right? Wonderful, thank you. Have a great day. Now, my friend Ben here has been lightly perusing the internet for some topical banter. Light today, though, Ben. Not much in your tank, you're saying? Oh, well, obviously there's some bigger news going on around the world,

some horrible stuff, you know, horrible, horrible news out of Ukraine. Here at the moment, there's a lot of news, COVID-based. I feel like we're all very fatigued on that even the government's fatigued they're like ah do what you want now scan and don't scan and get your own tests it's not open the borders anyone oh we don't know we have given up and fair enough too you've been saying that for a while haven't you opened the borders and that's pretty much what they've done thankfully they've finally listened it's taken two years. But no, it's got beautiful scenes. I don't know if you saw the news last night.

Wonderful scenes of families being reunited, hugging, kissing, sharing COVID. It was wonderful at the airport. It was kind of like, it reminded me when the reporter was doing the cross of that scene in Love Actually. Yeah. Except everyone had face masks on. Yeah, you're right.

It was lovely scenes. Creepily filmed by the news camera people just in there, right? Yeah. But it was nice to see the borders open. And I imagine they're landing to great news as well that they don't have to isolate for seven days too. Yeah, that's true.

And so if you missed the news, as of Thursday this week, the borders are open to New Zealanders returning from Australia. You don't have to isolate. And from the rest of the world later in the week as well. So it's all happening, guys. So good.

So good. So it's just Kiwis arriving back, not tourists. At the moment. And then I think they hoped, yeah, I heard on the news this morning, they're hoping by April that all going well, they could have tourists from Australia coming over for the school holidays. If not April, maybe the July one. Oh, that's good.

So we'll be peaking, what, about 50,000, 60,000 cases then? Yeah, you're probably right. And some other horrible news happening in Australia. There's a major flooding going on in Queensland, New South Wales. A severe storm has pummeled Australia, those states in particular, causing evacuation, power outages, school closures. The death toll is well, which is horrible. But even the mice and frogs are trying to get out of there.

And I saw some footage before of a couple of mice and a frog hitching a ride on a snake. On a snake? Now, they were on the back of the slithery snake as it's sort of, you know, slithering around, doing its slithery thing. And it's just like, well, mice, that's gutsy, right? It's a food source for a snake. Yeah, and the frog. I mean, how lazy are the frogs? You know, to be honest, the frogs, you know, they can deal with water.

Okay, you'd think. Right? But yeah, it's unusual, a new sight out of Australia that even the mice and the frogs are trying to get out of there with a snake. Mind you, if you're going to get a ride on a snake, you've definitely got to holop on its back, towards the back end. It's not going to know you're on there. True. You're not going to sit down in front.

You've taken the safe route. Yeah. The almighty real experience with a snake happened in the UK with you, Jono, where a lady brought down snakes and we had to stand like bee feeders outside our location and not move no matter what happened, and they put snakes around our necks. Yeah. And I thought Jono's had a stroke. Honestly, I thought you had a stroke.

Very unexpected. You're not expecting snakes in central London. No. So that's what took me by surprise from the first get-go. Dear God, there's a python in the city that's been travelling on the tube in a handbag

and now it's draped over my neck you're right the person that brought that down she sort of she kept it she wasn't a like a backpack with you know like you know with some air for the snake but at the same time you're like what are people carrying if someone has just come down on the tube with with that makes you question what's going on right and that day in central london, Prince Andrew wasn't the only snake in the city for once. There we go. Para shing. And that is what's making news right around the world.

After 7 o'clock, the song you need to listen to to get your rent or mortgage paid for a tyre year, we'll tell you in about seven minutes time. It is a hit. You got Jono and Ben? Jono and Ben. Jono and Ben on your Tuesday morning. Good morning.

Spy. No WhatsApp. Spy.co.nz. Now to our full-time Instagram addict and part-time gossip hunter, Juliette Rothel. Hello. So another celebrity who you may not have realised was in a conservatorship is Amanda Bynes.

So her mother has been her conservator for nine years and the reason for this is because in 2013, allegedly, this is quite intense, she set fire to a driveway and that was the thing that kind of set off, oh my goodness, does she need to be under some sort of conservatorship um which was quite intense but amanda now believes her condition has approved and has filed a petition to end her conservatorship um she says that the protection of the court is no longer necessary apparently last april she was apparently doing

great uh she lives by the beach she studies studies at a university. She enjoys meditation and soul cycle classes. So she looks like she's working on herself, but nine years is a decent amount of time to be under a conservatorship, and she's wanting that to end, similar to Britney Spears. Bonesy, she had a couple of shaky years there for a while, didn't she? She was a bit of a young star, wasn't she? A little bit like a Britney movie, She's the Man and things like that. Your movie where she has hairspray. She was such a good actress, wasn't she a little bit like Brittany? Movie She's the Man and things like that. Your movie where she has hairspray.

She was such a good actress, wasn't she? Yeah. She was in a lot of movies for a while then. I imagine the spotlight must be very hard to deal with when you're suddenly thrust into everyone's lounges and you're in the tabloids and all sorts. Hard to deal with. Spotlight would be hard to deal with.

We'll never know about it though, Ben. Don't stress yourself about that mate I see Bynes is running a face tat now She is, yes she is Yep Got a heart on her cheek tattooed Yeah, it's funny because I remember I used to watch Amanda Bynes in movies

Growing up and everything And then she kind of You kind of didn't really hear from her Like for a while And then all of a sudden I think an image came out of her with her face tattoo and she looked quite different and everyone was like oh my goodness like we haven't even seen her in so many years and we kind of didn't realize that she might not have been

mentally okay um because I think she was under her conservatorship at that point anyway she's engaged now uh to someone who she met in rehab so isn't that lovely yeah that is nice happy ending finally a happy ending on this show. And the set of The Crown has been hit by thieves and they've stolen over $300,000 worth of props and antiques. Basically, they've broken to three vehicles where these antiques were. Over 350 items were taken.

A grandfather clock, a dressing table, crystal glassware and a lot of other sort of precious items for the set. But they say that that won't delay filming because they can just replace it. So even very valuable even for a movie set. You would imagine the items wouldn't be all, you know, like you buy. Yeah. You know, like that's sort of like great value.

But yeah, it's obviously worth quite a lot. I know. They didn't even take the crown. Surely that's the first port of call. That's true. They They didn't even take the crown. Surely that's the first port of call. That's true. They probably didn't know where the crown was. That's probably hidden in a safe, you know? We'll take this clock first.

I'm making the crown. It's the whole thing. Yeah. And that is your Spy Entertainment update for this hour. For more, you can head to thehits.co.nz. We want to know this morning on R100 The Hits or 4487, NZ. Two semi-competent dads handing out semi-competent parenting advice. Jono and Ben on the hits. We want to know this morning on 100 The Hits or 4487, what you weren't allowed to do as a kid.

What did your parents say no-no to? Because Pink, the pop star, you know, she'll let her daughter Willow record a hit song with her, but she won't give her a cell phone. Ten-year-old Willow, yeah, she's like, no, you can't cover me in plans and data rates and all that. She just wants to be covered in 4G. And she's not allowed to.

I mean, it's a tough one, isn't it, when it comes to technology? I grew up as a lonely, only child, a solo child. And to be honest, I used that to my advantage many times. They had no bar to sit. I was the bar setter. And I mean, I wasn't allowed to smoke cigarettes, I used that to my advantage many times. They had no bar to sit. I was the bar setter. And I mean, I wasn't allowed to smoke cigarettes until I was nine. I didn't think. I held out.

I didn't have my first drink until I was about 10 or 11 then. Well, you shouldn't have had a phone. You didn't have a cell phone, but you shouldn't have had the home phone because you used to call the radio station every morning and annoy them. I did on the landline for Robert Harkity every morning. I was relentless. But we wanted to know this morning, not only what you weren't allowed to do as a kid,

but also whether kids should be allowed cell phones in general, and we've got an expert with us right now. Ali from The Parenting Place, good morning. Good morning. It's Jono and Ben from The Radio Place here. It's lovely to have you on the show, Ali. The Radio Place. Great to be here.

The debate at the show, Ellie. The radio place. Great to be here. Great to be here. The debate at the moment, kids, cell phones, what's your thoughts? It's a good question, isn't it? And it appears I'm as cool as Pink, who's holding out on her kids until they are, well,

however old she deems old enough to have a phone. We have two teens and a tween and the 10-year-old, she's the only one in our family without a phone, which she's not that happy about. But we just really encourage parents to hold the line, to think about what would work for their family.

And our kids are great at telling us, everyone else has a phone except me, which may or may not be true. It's a good tactic, that one, isn't it? A good child negotiating tactic. Yeah. It's worse parents giving this issue some thought, though, and deciding for themselves what works best for their family.

Well, yeah, I gave my daughter, when she went to intermediate, my old phone, mainly for security reasons, so she could be contacted. But now she's seeing ads for the iphone 30 13 on tv and she's like what about that i'm like i haven't even got an iphone 13 13 yeah yeah and that's the thing with smartphones is they've obviously got this access to a whole new world in their pocket so there are issues to think about there in terms of their security. But yeah, as you say, a lot of families have got kids going out, going on buses, after-school activities. They need that point of contact with their kids

so a phone can become really handy in that situation. What about microchipping the kids? Having like a tracker on them or something? Might get some pushback politically there. But you could always try the not-so-smart phone. Some families try that angle, which, again, not so cool with the kids. But if you're really helping them understand that for your own well-being and safety, we really want to just look after you here with a way to contact us,

but not until your XYZ age are we going to present you with the latest iPhone. Just have that conversation and let them know what the expectations are. And they might even have this goal to look forward to when they're 13 or whatever it is, when there's that age, they can be trusted with something like that. Then there's a sense of responsibility there as well that they can look forward to. Ellie, I remember when I got my first cell phone. I was 18 years old and I made one 30-second phone call. It cost me $28. It was exciting and disappointing at the same time.

And then the battery ran out two minutes later. So the risk wasn't there when I was growing up. Oh, Ellie from The Parenting Place, thank you so much for your time this morning. We really appreciate it. You're very welcome. Thanks for having me. Oh, Andrew, the hits are 4487 on the text.

Love to know this morning whether it was a phone, a TV show, a food, a drink. What weren't you allowed as a kid? Much like Pink's daughter's not allowed a phone. Love to hear from you. After Ed Sheeran shivers, it is the hits. Morning contains dodgy parenting advice. on a louder phone. Love to hear from you after each year in Shivers. It is the Hits. Morning. Contained stodgy parenting advice.

Sean Owen Ben on the Hits. We want to know this morning on 0800 The Hits, what weren't you allowed to do as a kid? Yeah, Ben Humphrey, our producer, B Humps, just said that he wasn't allowed to watch The Simpsons as a child.

Yeah. Which, same happened to a friend of mine. He was inspired to do prank calls on his dad. You know how Bart phones Mo's tavern, and he's phoning his dad in the middle of business meetings going, it's Oliver Closeoff here, and that didn't go down well, and that's what banned. And then I think he said, like, eat my shorts or something

to his mum one day. That was it. Simpsons pulled, banned from the household. I wasn't allowed an earring until I was 13. That was the rules. Did you have an earring? As soon as I turned 13, I got an earring. Did you?

I got an earring. But then I got a bigger one that was too big. It looked like a pirate, my dad said, and he took it back to Pascoe's, the jeweler. So when I got an earring, it was only a certain size it could be. It couldn't be too big. It could be like a pirate curtain ring. Yeah, he wasn't happy with that, was he?

Did he get his money back, Kevin Boyce, on that big board? It was my money back, but he got it back for me. That's a degrading return to Pascoe's, isn't it? Although, to be fair, looking back now, I was like, what was I thinking? Like, what was I thinking? But anyway. He was like the sixth member of Boyce to me. Love to know on 0800 The Hits,

weren't you allowed as a child? Michael, how are you? Yeah, very good. Thanks. Yourself? Yeah, good. Lovely. Michael, dear friend of the show. Are you dear friend of us or the show, Michael? What would you like to say?

Or neither? I think science speaks for itself. Okay. So not really. Because I'm broadcasting from home, I thought maybe my connection had come off. No, definitely didn't drop off. It was just Michael not wanting to answer that.

Anyway, Michael, who's clearly not a friend of us or the show, we did hang out with you playing the game of Quidditch. Now, this is an actual sport. It's played all around the world, and you're the captain of the New Zealand team. Correct. Yeah. Now, this is the sport from the wonderful Harry Potter book series. You may have heard of it.

Now, something that we found really interesting about you captaining the New Zealand Quidditch team was something that you weren't allowed to do when you were growing up. Yeah, so growing up, my parents didn't let me watch Harry Potter. Probably more my mum than my dad. My parents didn't like the dimensions of magic, and I guess more the dark magic side of it. So it was on the banned list of movies.

It wasn't until I left home at, I don't know, 18 or something, that I thought, oh, that's it, time for my Rebellious stage. Rebellious stage kicking the old Harry Potter viewing. Now, what did you think of the movies after all these years of not being allowed to watch them? Well, you know how sometimes the anticipation can exceed the actual event itself? Yeah.

Well, that's kind of how I felt. The first few movies I quite enjoyed. I thought they were quite good. But as they went on, they got a bit darker and I was a little less interested. You didn't like the movies. I quite enjoyed them. I thought they were quite good. But as they went on, they got a bit darker and I was a little less interested. You didn't like the movies really, but you are playing Quidditch for New Zealand. Yes. It's a bit of a conundrum. Sport's a great

game. And it's a really cool group of people who tend to play it. It is a great sport. I was very passionate about getting into the education system, getting into schools around New Zealand, but I only got as far as saying that multiple times and not doing anything about it. But I still think it's getting into schools.

We need to get into the curriculum. And I was like, well, do it then. And he's done no following up. But I keep saying it. Every time I think about it, I'm like, got to get that into schools. The kids would love it. Michael, not friend of the show or us.

Lovely to talk to you again. Take care of yourself. We got Vanessa on 100 of the Hits. Vanessa, what weren't you allowed to do as a kid? Morning, team. My dad didn't let me have any of the Barbie dolls. Oh, you weren't allowed Barbies? No, he kept comparing them to Ladies of the Night

and things like that, and I didn't know what that meant. And, yeah, until I got the computer rights and, you know, kind of Googled it, I was like, oh, okay. Oh, really? They were a little bit scantily dressed and stuff like that. He was like, oh, it's a very outdated view,

but all right. Yeah, it was very different. Oh, Vanessa, I appreciate your call. So good. Hey, next on the show, we're looking at some more unusual news from New Zealand and around the world. You've beat down a headline.

We need to work out what it is. Wordle fans ditch the game for... Oh, we'll find out what happens to Wordle fans and why they ditch the game next on The Hits. Kia ora, I'm Rachel Jackson-Lees and this is The B**** News. Now she's fresh from partying at locations of interest. We're just waiting for her to turn a positive result,

but so far she keeps avoiding the vid. Doesn't she, Ben? She does. She reckon she's immune for some reason. I reckon I'm invincible, eh? I've had so many close calls, but I'm loving it. I reckon it's that tinfoil hat you're wearing that's keeping you safe. Oh, God. All right, you guys have to guess what the headlines are

after I've beeped out a couple of words. Your first news headline is... Wordle fans ditch the game for... I reckon the Wordle fans are ditching the game for a life. Harsh for the Wordle fans. Actually, I do like Wordle. It's quite good. Going outside and enjoying the real world, Ben.

Yeah. All right. I'm going to go Wordle fans ditch the game for a new fad that will shove down your throat for the next two weeks and never talk about it again. Wordle fans ditch the game for a new spin-off called Worldle. Worldle. So they're on the game Wordle.

I'm still battling away with it. I still play it every day. There are some days where the words are not even in my vocabulary, so it does get quite frustrating. And so this game, Worldle, is quite similar to Worldle where you get six guesses, but instead you're given a map of a country and have to guess what the country is. And if you get it wrong, it'll tell you how close you are

and give you the direction and distance from the correct answer or the correct country. So if you're trying to look at your geography, this is a good game. All right, your next headline, actual headline from around the world. Magpies outwit scientists by... I'm going to say magpies outwit scientists by

being the only pie that can fly. I think that's a joke I heard once. I'm going to say the magpies I'm going to say the magpies stole the scientists' swipe cards and they locked them out of the laboratory, therefore weren't able to do any more research on them. Magpies outwit scientists by removing their own tracking devices. So a bunch of scientists were trying to study five particular magpies

and they attached tiny little backpack-like tracking devices and it was designed to be quite tough and could not be removed by a magpie or so they thought. And then within 10 minutes of putting these trackers on the magpies they then spotted one of them without the tracking device on it

and was like, oh my goodness. And then they saw another couple helping each other so they were working together as a little team of five magpies to get these tracking devices off. Very smart birds, as we're kind of coming to learn. Ben, you made a wonderful connection with a magpie last week

with a guy who has a magpie as a pet. Did not like you, though, did the magpie. No, it was suspicious of me. It kept giving me side eyes. It was making me very uneasy. I wasn't relaxed. I'd walk and the magpie would be nipping at my feet. It was like you coming into the hits.

Everyone was like, we're not sure about this guy. Yeah, I'm still getting side eyes around the office. And we'll go one more. Turkish man sets new record after **** for 14 straight months. I'm going to say the Turkish man has set a record for being delightful for 14 straight months because the Turkish delight, the Turkish delight. They are a delightful community of people, aren't they, those Turkish people? I'm going to say Turkish man sets a new record for doing Turkish twists for 14 months straight

and he has a wonderful core, rock solid abdominals. And what's the news story? Turkish man sets new record after testing positive for COVID for 14 straight months. Oh, jeez. I know. So he's had 78 positive tests in a row. The thing is, though, which is quite rough about this, is his immune system is already compromised, which is why he's kind of always getting it.

But he's just riding that wave and has had it for so, so long. And because of his immune system being compromised, he actually is ineligible, like officially ineligible, to get the vaccine. So he's really in the trenches. Oh, God. And also, yeah, jeez, you feel sorry for him. Also, there's people waiting 14 months in line for PCR tests as well.

They've set a new record here in New Zealand too. See, everyone's setting records. Next on the show, Jono, you want to talk about something your parents make you do. Yes, over 60s. This is something that every over 60 will make their child do when they go away. Guaranteed. For no real reason, but that's something that they enjoy.

We'll tell you after Pink Willow. Appropriate song this morning, Cover Me In Sunshine. Jono and Ben. Just like family. The family members you're ashamed of. song this morning, Cover Me in Sunshine. Now, Ben, you've got parents, don't you? Wonderful Kevin and Jenny, who joined together to create you. Not together these days, but yeah. Yeah, that's right.

There was a time when they were together, and they made you when they were. Exactly. They were metaphorically and literally together To create Ben Boys Yeah I'm sure everyone's enjoying thinking about that right now Particularly them And their son

But yeah, I'm broadcasting from home at the moment We're in a government-sanctioned 10-day lockdown Here at the Pryor Household, Ben. But I spoke to my mum, Annie, yesterday. And she did something which actually producer Humphrey mentioned this the other day too, that I think every parent over the age of 60 would make their children do when they go away.

Because I said, I can't wait till we get out of here and we can drive somewhere for a weekend away or something to Annie. And she said, where will you go? And I said, Tauranga. And she said, well, you must go and visit Trish and Dennis. And I said, who the hell are Trish and Dennis? And then out there, our friends that we met at Rotary one weekend. And I was like why why would Trish and Dennis want to see me like this seems like a huge inconvenience for Trish and Dennis uh and and for me as well no one ever wants an unannounced guest turning up particularly if it's the child of a friend who's been bullied

into visiting exactly but they always say the parents oh they would love to see you it would mean a lot they would love to see you and I'm mean a lot. They would love to see you. And I'm like, no, they wouldn't. You're right. I'm 100% with you, John, on this one. Yeah, the only common ground is you know the same people. Yes. And that's all you got. I mean, Kevin, speaking of Kev, he loves a pop-in visit, doesn't he?

And he took you to a pop-in visit, and the people weren't even home to pop into. Yeah, that was the thing. He's like, oh, you must come see Tony and Julie. You know, see their house. And we're like, oh, you must come see Tony and Julie, you know, see their house. And we're like, oh, great. So we turned up, you know, and we're thinking they'll be there. They weren't even there. But we walked around their house creepily, seen their house.

Lovely place. Lovely place, the holiday house they've got. But, yeah, we were like, oh, okay. I felt about the neighbours that any minute would be calling up going, I had these people, like, lurking around your property just so we could see the house. He took it an extra step further. Did Kevin tell Tony and Judy that he had visited their house

and then snooped around and looked through windows? I think they were aware of it. Because they had been staying there, but they'd gone. It was a bit, yeah, it was an unusual situation. I had the same thing happen with the lovely mad butcher, Sir Peter Leach, when a few years ago I was going to do my OE and he was like, yeah, you got in France, mate. was an unusual situation. I had the same thing happen with the lovely mad butcher, Sir Peter Leach, when a few years ago I was going to do my OE and he was like, yeah, you're going to France, mate. You're going to France.

I'm like, yeah, we're going to France. He's like, yeah, call Stacey. I'm like, who's Stacey? He's like, Stacey Jones. And Stacey Jones, the legendary Warriors player, he's like, I'll give you his number. And I was like, well, I'm not going to get to France and call Stacey Jones, who I was idolized.

But I'm like, hey, Stacey, you don't know me, but I'd like to come and visit youacey Jones who I was idolized but I'm like hey Stacey you don't know me but I'd like to come and visit you because I'm in France very unusual situation hello zitty little boy yes come over to my house but that's also another thing is when you're away from home and you bump into someone that you kind of know from where you live there's some weird obligation to have to catch up oh Oh, we must catch up. I know what you mean. We don't do it when we're playing at home. Yeah, but you're right. You're like, such and such is here

in this location. We must catch up. Why? We're strange humans. We're strange individuals. I love it though. Next, we've got five words, $5,000. Your chance to win it is the hits. Five words for 5K. You we got five words five thousand dollars your chance to win it is the hits five words for 5k you're just five words away from five thousand dollars your chance to win

five grand it happens every morning around about this time five words five thousand dollars a simple game a word association what seems simple but it is quite hard to match up all five well we've done it many times over sixty thousand dollars has been given away, and I tell you what, that doesn't look pretty on the hits bottom line. Ben, you've seen it. You've seen the figures. It's not a pretty reading, but let's welcome to the show Emma. How are you?

Good. How about yourself? Doing well. In the Waikato, you're a health care worker. Are you feeling healthy and well? Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Are you under the pump at the Yeah. Oh, thank you. Yeah.

Are you under the pump at the moment? Yeah, that's an understatement. Absolutely. Yeah, I can imagine. It's a lot of work you guys are doing right now. We really, really appreciate it. Oh, thank you. We're trying to win you $5,000.

That'd be a nice way for us to repay some of that hard work, but it's not quite as easy as that. No. What would you do with the money if you won though i'd probably just leave it on the bank at the moment of the way the world's going and just leave it as a little nest egg with it yep smart smart but also boring at the same time uh why don't you go put a head out on someone or you know vice i don't know i'm just anyway who are you going to send to the soundproof booth this morning, Emma?

Oh. I'll forget the one that's at home. Yeah, well, it probably needs to be me, unfortunately, because, well, all fortunately, depending on how you feel, because Jono doesn't have a soundproof booth in his house. No, no. So I'm going to have to head away to it, alright? Alright. Okay, he's off.

Sentenced to some hard time in the soundproof booth, Ben voices away, which just leaves you and me, Emma, alright push um push pop. Push pop? You're going to go push pop? Yeah, those push pop. Oh, yeah, I remember those. You'd jam your thumb in them and they'd sort of come out like a chapstick. Yeah. A diabetes chapstick. That's right. Togs. Togs is word number two this morning for you, Emma. Sorry, what was that? Togs.

Togs. T-O-G-S. Togs. Swimming. Swimming. Beautiful answer there. We'll go on to word number three this morning. Saucer.

S-A-U-C-E-R. Cup. Cup and saucer? Yep. Beautiful. Cream. You're playing a good game here, Emma. You should feel confident.

Cream is the fourth word. Cream. Can we come back to that one? Certainly. And the fifth and final, tape. Tape. Duct fifth and final, tape. Tape. Duck tape. Duck tape. Alright. And we'll just talk back to cream which was holding you up there. Cream.

Whip. Whipped cream. That's word number four and we'll release the voice meister from the soundproof booth. He's looking, he's coming out with a bit of a canter there, a slight jog as he emerges from the soundproof booth. It's like you almost had a run-up, a run-up to leave the booth. That's right. I'm ready. I'm going to try and win him a $5,000.

I'm determined. Let's do this. It would be awkward if you said you were over it and you weren't going to do that, Ben. Okay. First word, push. Pull. Well, he didn't try very hard, did he, Emma? No, no. I'm going to try hard

to win Emma $5,000. I'm trying hard. That was my... What did Emma say? Pop. Push pop. Oh, push pop, of course. She said the obvious answer, babe.

Oh, sorry. Word number two was togs. Swimming. Saucer. Cup. Cream. Oh, whipped. And he's pulled it back.

Word number five was tape. Sticky. Duck tape was the one. Emma, I'm so sorry. We couldn't help you out this morning, but you keep going on and doing dog's work. God's work out there. Or you can do dog's work as well and, you know,

sniff some butts and stuff. Have a great day. Thanks so much for playing. Another chance tomorrow morning. But we've got some spy entertainment news on the way. Yeah, the SAG Awards were on yesterday. Who won? What do the SAG Awards even mean?

I'll tell you next. It sure meant it as it is the hits. You've got John on Ben. I can't write one song that's not about you. One year, no rent, no mortgage. The hits live free. With oneroof.co.nz. Yes, Shawn Mendes was the song to listen out for in our show,

To Get In The Draw. Thanks to Oneroof for a year's worth of rent or mortgage paid. And I think we have someone on the phone right now. Terry. Terry, welcome. Hi. Terry from Kitty Kitty. How are you?

Good, thanks. How are you going? Terry, Terry from Kitty Kitty. It's beautiful to have you on. Now, what would you do with 12 months of rent or mortgage paid? Oh, finish our renovations off that have been going for the last six months. Oh, dragging on those renos. You'd knock them on the head. Definitely would. Definitely would

knock those on the head. Also just get rid of other debts and things that we have outstanding. Well, good on you. The money's going to be put to good use. It definitely is. And if you get a key this Friday with Brad and Laura, you'll be one of five people who could have your rental mortgage knocked off for a year.

So good luck, eh, Terry? Thank you so much. No worries. Have a good day. Good luck in that competition. We'll do some quick spy before the news. Spy. No WhatsApp. Spy.co. No worries. Have a good day. Good luck in that competition. We'll do some quick spy before the news. Spy. Know what's up.

Spy.co.nz. All right. Time to put our judgy pants on and cast some judgment on famous people. Juliet, what's happening? So the SAG Awards were on yesterday. I love saying SAG Awards because it's such a weird sounding name for an awards ceremony. It's the end of year awards ceremony Juliet presents for Ben and myself. The SAGs. SAG Awards. The SAG Awards. Last year I took out a SA presents for Ben and myself, the SAGs.

SAG Awards. Last year I took out SAGist on the show, which was great. But SAG stands for Screen Actors Guild Awards. It's basically awards given by the Screen Actors Guild Federation of Television. There's a lot of crossover between the Emmys and the Oscars and the Sags and everything like that. Their big winners was Will Smith won Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor for King Richard, which is the film where he's playing Serena and Venus Williams' father. I've watched little bits of that as my flatmate was watching it as well. It looks incredible.

He got a little bit emotional during his speech and he went over time and they always try to wrap him up, but he kept on going. Squid Game won big. The main actor, he won Outstanding Performance and as did the main female actor, which was incredible. Ted Lasso won Outstanding Performance by an ensemble in a comedy series.

Jason Sudeikis also won Outstanding Performance by a male actor in a comedy series. And Succession, which I've heard great things about as well, won outstanding performance by an ensemble in a drama series. Who won the most shocking performance? I'd like them to have that category. That was John on Being Good Sports. He was on TVNZ

last year. Available now. And that is your quick spy update for this morning. For more you can head to thehits.co.nz After 8 o'clock on the show, we're going to talk to a Kiwi reporter in the Ukraine. It must be just such a scary situation going on over there. He joins us in about 20 minutes' time on The Hits.

You're essential listening for non-essential banter. Jono and Ben on The Hits. Time for cliffhanger calls. Do love this part of the show. Now, when we say cliffhanger calls. We love this part of the show. Now, when we say cliffhanger, we're not talking hanging off a literal cliff like Mufasa Lion King. No. Situation, Ben. Do explain to me, you know, the showbiz term cliffhanger.

You know, what does it mean? Oh, it's kind of like Shoreland Street every night. You get to the end of an episode of Shoreland Street and they kind of leave you on what's called a cliffhanger. It kind of leads you on a moment that you're like oh i want to stick around and come back the next night thus creating a consistent audience for the program yeah so what are you trying to do here we've tapped into that and we go we get someone's best story they start telling it and then they stop at a point and then you guys get to decide i don't know i hundred the hits if you want to hear the rest of the story or not it's high risk high reward for us as well because we don't know the back end of the story

so it could be it could leave us all feeling very satisfied or or very ripped off it's one of the two and we're with diana this morning how are you good morning good morning guys how you doing we're good we're good uh now we set the scene where does this particular cliffhanger call take place? Okay, so I was flying to Wellington, hopped on the plane. The plane was completely packed full of people. I was in the middle seat sitting in between two other people. The plane's about to take off. They closed the front doors and then...

Now, firstly, you're sitting in the middle seat, which is always an awkward seat to be sitting in. You haven't got, you can't lie against the wall. You can't spread out and be easily access the aisle. It's a tough seat to sit in, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. And I was sitting next to two very proper looking businessmen as well. Okay. So the clientele next to you, sophisticated. What happens after takeoff? I want to know. But it's not up to us, Ben. It's not even up to Diana.

Oh, okay. No, we throw it out to you right now on 0800. The hits, 4487 is the text. Do you want to hear the rest of Diana's story? I, for one, I'm gagging. Are you gagging me? Well, yeah, I'm very curious to find out because so far it just seems like a standard flight. Slightly inconvenient. You're in the middle seat,

but there's got to be something more going on, Joe. I mean, it's going to be bitterly disappointing if we get to the end of the story and she's like, that was an adequate flight. Textbook landing. And I got off and continued on with my day. I chose the cookie over the cassava chips and that was it. You know, you're right. That's going to be really boring.

Can you promise us there's more to the story than that, Diana? I promise you. I promise you guys there's more to the story. Okay. All right. She's done a good sell here. 0800 the hits 4487. Cliffhanger calls. Do you want to hear the back end of Diana's yarn?

After Sam Fisher, Demi Lovato, it is the hits You got Jono and Ben In the middle of Cliffhanger Calls We heard half, well just a little bit of Diana's story In the middle of cliffhanger calls. Weird half. Well, just a little bit of Diana's story. We want to find out if we hear the rest. Diana, where did we leave things?

So we left it that I'm on the plane flying from Auckland to Wellington in the middle of the state and between two very posh-looking businessmen. They've closed the front door of the plane. We're about ready to go, and then something happened. Okay, this is where we left it. So we're going to throw it over to the audience, and I've looked at the text machine on 4487. There is an overwhelming response to hear the rest of this story. They want to know what happened.

All right, well, shall I tell you what happened? Yeah, now would be a good time, I think. Yeah. Okay, so I'm sitting there, and I was actually pregnant at the time, and I had this really terrible condition when you're pregnant where you get, like, terrible nosebleeds without warning. Oh, no.

So I'm sitting there. They've closed the front door, the flight attendants are in their seats already, and we're just starting to move. And suddenly I felt this feeling in the back of my nose, and it was just like a waterfall. Oh, the taps had turned. Oh, no.

So is it pouring down your shoes and everything? Oh, no. It's like I've got cups in my hand over, like, my face, trying to catch it all in my hand. And these two businessmen sitting next to me are like, oh, my gosh, there is something seriously wrong with this chick. And so they're, like, frantically hitting the, like, call bells, trying to, like, call the flight attendants.

I mean, well, they don't want to get nosebleed on their wonderful Amani suits or whatever they're wearing. I know. I know. It was so embarrassing. And meanwhile, I'm going, like, bright red in the face trying to catch all of this blood that's, like, running out my nose. And so they had to, like, so the flight attendants had to, like, get up.

They were already, like, in their seats. And they had to get up and get me some, like, paper towels and stuff. And I spent the whole rest of the flight trying to reassure the guys next to me because it didn't make sense to them when I said, don't worry, I'm pregnant. They were like, what? That means nothing about your blood nose, unless you're giving birth through your nasal cavity.

Yeah, so I'm not sure what they were thinking. Okay. Don't worry, guys, I'm pregnant. There's no chance. Well, that's not our major concern at the moment. Thinking you were going to hook up with them or something? They're like, what?

That was what came out. So did you have your whole flight with your nose buried inside tissues? Yeah, and then and then of course then i had to try and like obviously then there was blood on my face and stuff so then i'm trying to like clean myself up before i get off the plane poor thing had blood on her hands well i'm glad we stuck around for the rest of that story diana that is uh that is wonderful thank

you so much for being part of cliffhanger Calls today. No worries. Glad I didn't disappoint you guys. Very scary scenes on the news over the last few nights. Russia have invaded Ukraine. The world is watching. But what would it be like to be over there right now? A Kiwi journalist, a freelance journalist by the name of Tom Mutch is in Ukraine. And he joins us right now. Good morning, Tom.

Good morning or good evening as it is over here in Ukraine. Now, we're seeing on the news some images that we haven't seen for a long time. They're horrible to watch. I mean, you were over there. What is it like to be experiencing this right now? I mean, it's just utterly, utterly bizarre and crazy. One moment, we all kind of knew this was coming. All of the intelligence stuff sort of suggested it.

But until the very last moment, you never really believed in your heart of hearts it was going to happen. But, you know, Wednesday night, you know, everyone was going out to bars, having drinks, having a laugh. We're all making weekend plans, you know. We had plans to throw a house party in our apartment on Saturday. By 30 in the morning, you're woken up to cruise missiles just rocketing in, in targets, in and around, like, you know, a really, really major city. Like, this is a reasonably developed modern city of 3 million people.

Are you fearful for your life at the moment? I'm trying not to think about that too much. Right at the moment, as I said, I'm in Lviv, which is in the west of Ukraine, which so far hasn't experienced much of the fighting. However, the Russians have now said that they're going to bomb targets very near Lviv, and there's a big convoy of Belarusian troops on the border to the north, so it is quite possible that this city will come under fire at any moment. But, hey, that's part of the job, I guess.

In a war, are there zones where the public are safe and there's not going to be missiles fired? Are there any rules around that? Well, it depends on a lot of things. So it depends where you are in Ukraine at the moment. Now in Kharkiv, which is a city on the east of Ukraine, that is now starting to see some really, really serious bombardment by Russian heavy artillery.

You know, there was an attack today. We're still getting direct casualty figures, but we believe 30, 40, 50 people might have been killed in an apartment block in one blast. So there it's just getting less and less safe. We're talking to Tom March. He's a New Zealand freelance journalist. He's in Ukraine at the moment.

Tom, my kids were asking last night when it was on the news just what is going on. Now, I know that obviously Ukraine were part of the Soviet Union. There was conflict, it seems to be, over something with NATO. They wanted to join NATO, the military alliance between the countries. Am I kind of in the ballpark with what exactly is going on? Yeah, you're kind of in the ballpark. So basically, after the Soviet Union broke up, Russia kind of wanted to keep,

they didn't want to keep these countries as part of Russia, but they wanted to keep these countries quite pro-Russian. And Ukraine, after quite a few years, decided that it wanted to kind of join the West and become part of the European Union, wanted to become part of NATO. The Russians were obviously very opposed to that. So they tried, you know, kind of Russians were obviously very opposed to that. So they tried,

you know, kind of disrupting the country from doing that. They started that they, you know, annexed, invaded Crimea in 2014. They started off this war in eastern Ukraine and what's called the Donbass region. But then basically they realized that they thought that that would scare Ukraine into stopping joining NATO or the EU. Now, actually it made the ukrainians much more united and it made them want to join nato and the eu even more so russia figured the only way to stop ukraine from doing this was to invade with a full military force seems like the sensible option do you see i noticed people on instagram putting up the Ukrainian flag, which is a lovely gesture, but I don't know exactly what it's going to achieve.

Is there anything we can actually do to help from over here? Yeah, is there things that we can do to help from over here to support Ukraine? Oh, that's a good question because it's very, very early sort of days yet. So there's a whole list of things you can do from, well, on the one, if you want to be very extreme, Ukraine are accepting foreign, foreigners with military qualifications. So if you really, really want to kind of put your life on the line and come to fight for

Ukraine, you can. I wouldn't necessarily recommend that, but there are a large number of sort of charitable organizations that are supporting ukrainian refugees or ukrainian troops i know that some people are getting behind like a lot of people with like it skills are kind of joining hackers collective groups to destabilize you know russian um electronic and security systems and things like that but i guess also the very least people can do is just continue to raise awareness continue to like post about it continue to talk about it make sure that ukraine doesn't go out of the world's news as happened with countries like syria or it happened like countries with

afghanistan because this is something where the international pressure may actually be able to news as happened with countries like Syria or happened like countries with Afghanistan, because this is something where the international pressure may actually be able to stop the Russian assault. We don't know if it will be able to, but it's certainly better than nothing. Well, Tom, take care of yourself over there. We can't but imagine what it's like to be over there. Take care of yourself. We really appreciate your time.

No worries. No worries. Enjoy being on. Have a good one. It is the hits. You've got Jono and Ben. Shout out to all the unpaid Uber drivers dropping the kids off in peak hour traffic. Jono and Ben on the hits.

Fancy like. It's fancy like. Walker Hayes and Kesha, it is the hits. Jono and Ben on your Tuesday morning. Jono broadcasting from home this morning. Yeah, I am in a, you know, the Omicron's come knocking to the household, Ben. And apparently I'm not allowed to go anywhere

near anyone else at the moment. That's the deal now. But it's a good, I've found positives out of this is that it's got me out of two events that I can count off so far. And I was meant to be emceeing some things over the weekend. I was less than enthusiastic about the project. And what do you know?

Omicron comes. And I imagine a lot of people are the same, using it as a wonderful excuse at the moment, Omicron. Actually, speaking of the weekend, I've been telling you, my wife has been doing device-free days, which started with the kids getting off devices. And I was like, eh, it seems like a good idea.

But now it's stretched to all of us. I'm like, when did I have to be part of this device-free day? Well, apparently in the weekend it happened. And the kids and I were waiting for my wife, Amanda, who had an appointment. And we were sitting outside, waiting outside. There was this little picnic table outside this area. And we didn't have our devices, so we were chatting away. Do you mean that they put away in a special drawer? Oh, yeah, it's like we weren't allowed our devices so we were chatting away do you mean

that they put away in a special drawer oh yeah it's like we weren't allowed to have it was left at home so we're just sort of chatting away uh but then the lady the receptionist uh where my wife was having an appointment must have seen we're outside just sitting around no devices and she came out and she gave us a pack of cards and she was like oh here's a pack of cards would you like to play with these uh while you wait which was the lovely thing to do you know that's that's a sad uh reflection on society at the moment where someone looks outside and doesn't see someone looking down on a device and goes geez they must be lonely yeah they really need something to do so they poured out some cards and i don't know if you're the same but but I love playing cards, but I always forget the rules to card games until you play the game again.

Yeah, and you slowly figure it out your way through, like Monopoly. You start to make up rules. If it's your home turf, you can make up all sorts of wild rules on Monopoly. Yeah, so it was one of those occasions where you start playing a game, you're like, oh, yeah, I remember this. But on this occasion, the kids were looking at me to initiate the card game game and the only game i could think of the rules of was blackjack was 21 and i'm like you're never too young to start your gambling career and i'm like apparently it's under the age of 20 according to the law but don't listen to them and i'm like oh okay well i guess

i could teach you this game not even scum came to your head no i couldn't presidents and losers no again i'd start playing that. I don't know how to play it. But off the top of my head, I was like, I don't know how to play this. So I'm like, I'm going to have to teach you guys how to play blackjack. Now, I tried to teach it in an educational sense. Like, I was the dealer, and they got little bits of leaves as their sort of tokens. And we played blackjack, and I went hard on them.

Like, there was no mercy given for me just to teach them a valuable lesson about you know gambling you can also teach them that you can steal and sell precious family items at the pawnbrokers across the road from the casino too yeah and it was a good lesson we played this game for a little bit but it was it was kind of awkward because my wife came out from the appointment with the lady she was with and she's's like, oh, what are you guys doing? And the kids are like, Dad's teaching us blackjack. And you're like, oh, please don't say this out loud. Looks like it's not a great thing, Dylan. Not a great look. Well, no, you should just, well, this is what happens when we don't have phones.

Yeah. The kids learn about gambling. And we're going to pull a heist on the casino next weekend. That's right. We're going to do the New Zealand's Ocean's Eleven. Who's going to join us? Hey, we've got an internet wormhole next, the Queen. She's been in the news a lot this week.

She's been sick with COVID. Jono, you've gone deep into the Queen's back. Well, I was inspired yesterday after the boomer rumor that apparently the Queen's already dead. They're just hiding the fact. They're keeping her hidden from us. And, gee, there's some stuff about the Queen you don't know, and I'll tell you what it is shortly. It is a hit. So you've got Jono and Ben.

Jono and Ben. Jono and Ben. Brought to you by Resene. Help. Jono's internet wormhole. I was just doing the maths on that Katy Perry song, so she lost her fake ID. But at the age she recorded that song, she was 22, 23. So I don't know why she was needing multiple forms of identification.

Maybe it was for the senior citizen sort of meal that sometimes you get over 65. Cheek bus rides. Yes, got lost on an internet wormhole speaking of over 65s yesterday about the Queen because we had our Boomer Rumour which we have Denise on every Monday with rumours from Boomers. Her rumour was the Queen's

already passed away and they're just hiding the fact and they'll release the news at an appropriate time. But then I just got into this really interesting article about stuff you don't know about the queen and i like it when the title is facts you never knew about the queen when the only fact i know about the queen is she's on our money so chances are i don't know any of these facts all right what are they do you know she doesn't need a driver's license, a license plate, or a passport? Really? She's the only person that can say, do you know who I am, sort of thing, if she doesn't get let in anywhere. Yeah, well, a lot of the time it's signed or approved by Her Majesty

the Queen, so she can't really sign or approve herself, but it seems very dangerous to have a 95-year-old out on the roads who doesn't have to abide by transport law. I have a question, though. So if the Queen doesn't have an ID, I wonder if Charles and William and all of them kind of don't really have IDs, or if Charles, when he becomes king, will he then ditch all of his IDs because he's then the king? He gets to burn all of his drives.

He gets to burn Katy Perry's fake ID himself. He's free from identification. She receives 70,000 letters a year. 70,000? 70,000. 65,000 of them are Easy Buy catalogues, but the remainder are personal letters that they

try to respond to every single one of them too. Wow, we should try and get a letter back from the Queen. Oh yeah! It's a show. Yes! Yeah, we should write to the Queen and see if we get a letter back. That's a great idea. We'll do that.

Is this one of those things that we'll talk about now and never do any following up on? Oh, there's not a lot. I'm pretty sure we pitched that. We were going to do it for our 100th show. Oh, so we've only done that again.

No, but we never sent it. I don't think I got my... Okay, well, let's do that because it's not a huge amount of follow through, to be honest, guys. Yeah, let's do that. Yeah, I don't think I did that. There's not a huge amount of follow through, to be honest, guys. Yeah, let's do it. The queen also paid for her wedding dress through coupons that she saved up.

Really? She's an avid coupon saver. So she's a nightmare if you're standing behind her at the checkout at the supermarket. I love it. I love it. She has a signal to her staff using her purse. So if she's got her handbag and she's having a good time, the purse or the handbag will stay on the table.

If she wants to leave, it's on the ground, and that means she has to get out of there in five minutes. She's not enjoying the conversation. Oh, really? What happens if bananas are upright in the supermarket trolley? Is there a signal for that? Well, Philip's no longer around. She's keen as beans.

Okay, gotcha. Every single morning she wakes up to a bagpiper blowing the bagpipes outside her window. No! No! Every morning. No! I mean, the novelty of that must have wore off about 55 years ago. Oh, it would wear

off on the first day, wouldn't it? Just screeching bagpipes blowing into your bedroom every morning. Oh, jeez. Prince Philip's her third cousin. Really? Oh, yay. I think I knew there was some sort of connection there from watching The Crown,

but I didn't realise that it was third cousins. That's kind of a little bit creepy. I mean, they keep their bloodline pretty tight. At times it's uncomfortably tight, isn't it, the royal family? Yeah. That bloodline. And that's about it. That's about it.

I'm going to fade out of that. Jono and Ben, brought to you by Resene, New Zealand's most trusted paint, Kiwi-made since 1946.