Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: Ben's Fresh Prince of Bel Air Togs...

Episode Date: July 25, 2022

Jono and Ben are back from their break and have some great stories to tell! This episode of the Jono and Ben Podcast covers; funny airplane seat chat, Ben's dog going on a wilderness retreat and embarrassing things your kids have said out loud in public...  Follow us @thehitsbreakfast on Instagram for all of our social media content!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits with the Jono and Ben podcast. Kia ora, Jono and Ben here. It's the 26th of July. First podcast back for a couple of weeks there, Ben boys. Yeah, it's good to be back. It was fun today. Fun to get back on the radio and bang on about our holidays. What do you think?

How much banging are you allowed to do? Because we did loosely, lightly dust it over this. What's the appropriate amount of banging? Because someone might listen in tomorrow and they haven't heard us banging on about the holidays. Well, true. It's not like we did't heard us banging on about the holidays well true it's not like we did the whole time

banging on but you gotta be you're mindful of that Joel our fresh faced producer how much banging you haven't been on a holiday like how much is an appropriate

duration of banging on about the holidays I reckon it's good I reckon just the whole week just bang on whole week yeah seriously it's like people

who haven't been on holidays have been working nine to five in the cold weather do you resent those people you know don't you no oh

nothing more I love than just hearing about how epic you guys Fiji holiday was seriously like one thing that Juliet our old producer

loved Juliet but she's currently in Europe working on a super yacht well she's holidaying because she's having a break from her super yacht her strenuous

super yacht work yeah and she's postinging because she's having a break from her super yacht. Her strenuous super yacht work. Yeah. And she's posting on Instagram. Oh, yeah. And it makes me feel uncomfortable. She's in Rome. She's in Greece. She's having the time of her life.

She messaged the other day. She was like sort of a bit glassy-eyed with a bartender. Did you see that? With some sort of European bartender and a glass of wine. And I messaged her saying,

do you even remember taking this photo? And she said, yes, I did. I just took it 10 minutes ago. I've only had three wines. I'm having a good night. I'm like, it's Monday. And she's like, days don't matter over here. Days don't matter in Europe apparently.

And time doesn't matter. You were talking about it and you talk about this on the show today. You were waiting for the clock to tick over to appropriate time to drink. It's good at a hotel because a cocktail, no one judges a cocktail. You can have a cocktail any time of day. Yeah. No judgment over cocktail.

Beer is a little bit of judgment on the beers at 10.30. Yeah, you're like, oh, he's having beers at such and such. But you're right. The people are doing it. It's like the airport, right? You go to the airport. You can have a drink any time by the airport. I mean, people may judge you, but a lot of people just assume, oh, they must have gone

off. They must be from a different time. They've come from over. It's five o'clock where they've been yeah you know exactly it's the perfect place driven out there and just cracked open the beer you want to hide your alcoholism just book an international flight every day just wander around the airport sit at the airport bar yeah not go anywhere do you know a friend of ours uh he was a member of koru club the new ze Zealand Koru Club, which is an oasis of club sandwiches

and free drinks, coffees, whatever you want. Non-judgment, if you want to have those drinks. Non-judgment, that's right. And he would sometimes go and have lunch or dinner at the Koru Club, but to get in, you had to book a flight. Yeah, well, you travel somewhere. So he would book

a $40 fare to the Hawke's Bay or something just so he could enter the Kauru Lounge, have some drinks, have lunch, fly to the Hawke's Bay, go to that Kauru Lounge, come back, and you've fed yourself for the day. So did he fly or not? Yeah. Oh, so he would fly. Take an unnecessary flight to and from the Hawke's Bay.

Right. Just so he could access the Kauru lap. Could you miss your flight? Like, could you just... And then just leave the Kauru lap. I missed a flight. It was a couple of hours ago. You probably could.

Just take the dinner out for the family for dinner. Take the loss on the flight that you've obviously paid for. Surely they've tightened up. Don't take any airport advice from me. I'm the guy that got in a lot of trouble at the airport. So don't do anything I say. I regret that one a lot. No, you're right.

I'm pretty sure they've probably tightened up now. I can imagine. It's an airline. Have you heard about what's happened to them the last two years? Exactly. All right. Well, enjoy the podcast. There's some fun few chats in there about things that we bang on about

for the holidays, so enjoy. They're not afraid to use the F word. Be family-friendly fun. Jono and Ben on the hits. Tuesday morning, second day back after the school holidays and our first day back after a couple of weeks we even holidayed together though, didn't we Jono? we did, we went to the sunny majestic Fiji and it's amazing just two hours and forty minutes away

that's a whole other world guys it's not raining over there, coldest it gets is 24 degrees, that's the middle of raining over there. Coldest it gets is 24 degrees. That's the middle of their winter. Yeah, it's the same. You're right.

It's the same times. You don't have to change your clocks or anything. So I was like, what are we doing wrong? Come back here. I'm like, what?

This is a whole other ... The wild weather. We're going to talk about the wild weather shortly because there's a whole lot of weather warnings in just a few

moments, but it's amazing. Although I did see someone, a lady in a turtleneck over there. I was like, very unusual. Controversial, eh? Because I haven't in a turtleneck over there. I was like, very unusual. Controversial, eh?

Because I haven't seen a turtleneck since 1997. My mum made me wear them to school and tormented me. It was like 28 degree heat. I was like, this is unusual. But hey, maybe she had some. Was that a cold neck? Yeah, a cold neck. Yeah, maybe.

Hiding some hickeys? Could be something like that, yeah. I find too when you're, I don't know if you've been to Fiji, but you're on a bulla rampage. It's a bulla rampage. You're bulla, bulla to whoever, bulla you, bulla, bulla, bulla. I got back to New Zealand, I'm still bullering people. I was at Pakistan last night. I was putting my shopping on the checkout operator.

I was like, bulla. She sort of looked at me and she said, hello? Bulla? Question mark? They love it though. It's like the branding for everything. There's like the bulla bus, the big bulla theme park, the bulla this, the bulla, you know, it, though. It's like the branding for everything. There's like the Buller bus, the big Buller theme park, the Buller this, the Buller, you know, it's great.

It's the branding. And it's a universal word. Much like the Smurfs had their word, they'd use Smurf for everything. It's incredible. So, no, it was a fun time, but it's good to be back. The problem is, though, when you go, when someone like me goes on holiday midwinter

to a location like that, I look like a tattooed Olaf from Frozen. Very pasty. Too pasty for the conditions, I find. You definitely look like a tourist, don't you? You do. I turn up there day one. I was like, okay, we're going to hack it.

We're going to go to a local supermarket, buy some stuff. So we're not paying, buddy, $22 for a mini packet of Pringles and stuff like that. I was like, you take me to your finest local supermarket and I walked in there uh and I had uh you know three flower necklaces on so already that screaming tourist right a face mask I was the only person in there with a face mask three flower necklaces and you can tell they're all looking around going look at this schmuck hey you know what you're paying for those? Add three times the price on there, buddy. I love that. The guy that took me from the airport, he was wonderful.

He was wonderful. He reminded me of you because he just chatted the whole time. And I struggled to keep up with him, you know. But he kept saying, I want to tell you. He's like, hello, family. I want to tell you something. He kept saying, I want to tell you something really good. You're like, oh, this is good.

And then he tells me, oh, all right, family. I want to tell you something else really good. You I want to tell you something really good. You're like, oh, this is good. And then he tells me, I think he goes, oh, all right, family. I want to tell you something else really good. You make your leaner. I was like, it's a great thing. I reckon we should do it on the radio. I was like, hey, I want to tell you something very good. Yeah. Oh, you tell us.

Does it even live up to the. Oh, it was good. It was information about, you know, signing up for tours and stuff like that. I guess it was, it was pretty good. Yeah. He hooked you in. Yeah. Hooked you in.

Beautiful stuff there. Well, I know you don't like to engage in too much loose banter. Like when we go to a work meeting and people start talking about all sorts of wild stuff before we got into the meeting, I can tell you a check down. You want to move on with things. How did you handle a whole van ride of, I want to tell you something good? Well, pretty good. But then I realised that, you know, they weren't always amazing facts, but they were pretty good.

Kept some interest for a while. Scrolling through your feed. All right, time for the latest news. Ben Boyce, what are we getting wound up about? All black coaches, the government. What's going on, buddy? Fire me up. All that, but also the weather, wild weather around the country yesterday

and the headline this morning, a barrage of fronts ensures miserable rest of the week. That's something to look forward to, isn't it? So thousands without power up north, flooding in the south, the upper north and parts of the south will continue to be blasted today with heavy rain and strong winds. Wild winds yesterday, 110

kilometres an hour in Auckland. I don't know about you, I always get mocked by my wife because I'm a trampoline tyre-upperer. I will tie the What do you tie the trampoline to? To like a post on the veranda. I'll do that. But I didn't yesterday because I've been mocked by my wife. You're always the guy out there, you know, trying to tie the tramp up.

But I watched it yesterday and I was like... Was it teetering? But I was like, no, no, no, no. I don't want to be mocked. But a little part of you deep down will be like, please let this trampoline fly into our house. Please. You know, so you could prove a point.

Yeah. About your trampoline tying down. Because every time I do tie it up, it's always one of those ones where you be like, please let this trampoline fly into our house. Please. You know, so you could prove a point about your trampoline tie down. Because every time I do tie it up, it's always one of those ones where you're like, well, I didn't need to do that. Like, you know, when the weather's not quite as bad as it is. I'm pretty shocking with the trampoline. There's some, like there's sacks that I've kind of put with rocks that you put on the feet of the trampoline. Oh, yeah. To try and hold, like, they weigh, you know, 0.5 of a kilogram each.

And then my wife, every time it starts raining and getting windy, is like, oh, make sure you go and put the things on the trampoline. And I'm like, it's wet out there. It's wet. I can't be bothered battling the elements. We're going to talk to Philip Duncan from Weather Watch after seven this morning to get the update on today's weather, because there's flooding up north, slips and floods around the country. But up north, they've said avoid non-essential travel up north.

So does that mean you're like, do I need to go to work? If you're up north, up north today, is that essential? How essential do you deem your job? Yeah. That's for each person to decide on their own. Wild weather in America too. Fires over there. I know.

Mate. Swarbrick and her mob. Chloe. Well, yeah. Greens. Climate change. Whoever the leader is, they'll be out there. Whoever they are., Swalbrick and her mob, Chloe, and Greens, climate change. Whoever the leader is, they'll be out there. Whoever they are.

Whoever their leader's going to be. Hey, and Bill Gates has done something, he's basically followed through on a promise.

He's given away a six billion dollars this week, and so he's in a bid, of course he's the Microsoft founder, but he's trying to get off the world's

richest list. So he said he wants to give away virtually all of his wealth in the future, and he seems he's living up to the list. So he said he wants to give away virtually all of his wealth in the future, and he seems he's living up to the promise. So he's dropped a place as of last week after giving away billions of dollars. He wants to make his way off the list over time. But I'm like, well, surely he can do it a lot quicker.

What about the Gates whanau? Are they like, hey, Bill? What's his left? Nothing to his family? I don't think he's actually going to be looking after his kids as much as they probably thought he was going to be. Gacy. Yeah.

Oh, because if I was his child, I would have checked out many, many years ago just waiting for him to... Him and his wife are giving away $55 billion. Melinda. $55 billion. Yeah, his ex-wife now. And making them the biggest philanthropists.

Tough word. Tough word. Day one. No, shouldn't have gone with that. Of all time. Of all time. wife now um and making them the biggest uh philanthropist tough word tough word day one no shouldn't have gone with it of all time of all time they've given away the money and he's like hey i want to get off the list get off the world's richest list it's going to take me some time well no it probably doesn't he can give away all his money couldn't yeah i mean you can just walk down the street and go hey you want to build a billion dollars yeah you know it wouldn't take that much time but maybe he quite likes the interest on it. Yeah, yeah. I see why he's doing a slow fade out on that one. I was watching a documentary on Netflix at the moment.

It's about LSD usage and how it inspires. How's this related to Bill Gates? Creativity. You know, just like microdosing little bits can make you 10 times more creative. And Gates. Isn't it on TikTok with other wild conspiracies? Gates and Jobs and all that mob, they, back when they were inventing computers,

they expanded their creativity. That's how they started computers and things. I don't know. At least they true. Watch the doc. Oh, come on. Day one back and already we're going to be sued by someone. It's Jono and Ben, but FYI, Ben is open to other options.

Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, we went away on holiday. We've been away from holiday. And, you know, we're going to stop banging on about the holiday. But one thing I noticed is, you know, because we holiday together. No, don't stop banging on about the holiday then. People like to hear people banging on about their holiday. Yeah, I know when I come back to the office and I bang on about the holiday,

people are like, bang on more, keep banging. I want to hear more about on about their holiday. Yeah, I know when I come back to the office and I bang on about the holiday, people are like, bang on more, keep banging. I want to hear more about it. Bang away. But it really threw some people out because a lot of people's go-to gag is, oh, where's Jolo? Like I get that yelled at me quite often. And it was quite weird knowing that we're staying at the same hotel to go,

oh, he's over there. And then people look over and go, oh, yes, he's over there. You know, thinking I was doing a gag. But it was like, no, no, he's actually just over thing where's well usually when people say that to me they go where's ben and i say i left him in the car with a packet of burger rings it's my guy i say it every time with the window down a crack and my son's like you've just got to say you say that every single day like now he's even saying it for me but what i noticed you know because go away and you know trying to relax a little bit, a lot of people

reading books in that sort of environment, you know, hot environment, sitting around reading books. I'm not a big relaxer, but I was trying to make an effort

over there to not. He's not a relaxer at all. No. How did you find like trying to relax? Oh, like I was trying to get good, yeah,

trying to get better at it or just, you know, or just try to suppress my urge to go, come on guys, what are we doing? Let's go do some stuff. Okay, come on, guys, what are we doing? Let's go do some stuff.

Okay, 10 more minutes of book reading, then we're out. So I bought a book over there. But what I loved about sitting around watching a lot of people, I had a book, I was reading John Kilwin's book, a lot of people sitting around reading other books. But you, I was like, I saw you later, what are you reading? You're like, Instagram. Instagram is what you're reading.

Yeah, I was reading Instagram. I've got the reading level of a five-year-old. And what I loved about that, too, is I could tell every Yeah I was reading Instagram Yeah I've got the reading level Of a five year old And what I loved about that too Is that I could tell Every time you were reading Instagram Because I'd get lots of alerts As you would send me Much like my mum Would on Facebook

Funny little videos And they're very funny videos I do appreciate them So don't stop doing that Yeah But generally If children getting hurt Yeah

Like children falling over Or being hit in the face You send funny links And the videos Yeah I was like One's from a site you follow Called Kids Getting Hurt Yeah Another one's from a site you follow called kids getting hurt

yeah another one's trash sports plays history and memes the great historical site history and memes Snoop Dogg you get a lot of

content from Snoop Dogg Snoop Dogg posts some funny videos he does and drunk people doing things I think was another one he sent some stuff through

I was like well this is all the stuff that you've been looking at. That's what I was reading by the pool. The hard thing is, jeez, in that environment, it's just you keep looking at your clock, you know, it's 10am. Could I drink? You know?

And I know there's a lot of things about, you know, stopping drinking at the moment, but I tell you what, it was hard not to start drinking before 11 o'clock. 11 o'clock, the taps were on. were on your taps were on that's a shock there's a shock kids getting hurt on instagram hey next you've got into an internet hole uh to do with bitcoin yeah um i got lost on the internet yesterday who is behind bitcoin it'll make you question whether you should get into it should i I get into it? Probably not. Oh, really?

Mainly because you don't know how to log on to the Bitcoin website and buy any. I couldn't even get my work password this morning. You're essential listening for non-essential banter. Jono and Ben on the hits. Jono, you got lost. Do you like to get lost from time to time on an internet hole? This time it's to do with Bitcoin. Something for a while there, you and I were both going, do we need to get Bitcoin from time to time on an internet hole and this time it's to do with bitcoin something for a while there you and i were both going do we need to get bitcoin yeah well you hear

about people buying but going like i'm a bitcoin millionaire you know all these fancy people that you see around work oh but have you got into bitcoin yet nfts was the other one and we're trying to get our heads around yeah i can't like i barely can remember my password i couldn't you couldn't yeah so i mean don't don't put us in the Bitcoin game. We have no place doing NFTs or Bitcoin. No. But it does feel like

one of those things that in 20 years you'll be like, oh, why didn't I buy one of those goddamn cartoon NFT things? Yeah. And I'll tell you why

because I don't understand what they are. It's like all those things that you, you know, the clothes you had when you were younger. Many people, you know, like,

oh, I gave that away. I got rid of that. Now, you know, they're worth lots. They're retro. They're cool. Oh, yeah. $25,. Many people, you know, like, oh, I gave that away. I got rid of that. Now, you know, they're worth lots. They're retro. They're cool. Oh, yeah, $25,000 Jordans, you know, nowadays. But you threw them in the Salvation Army bin, didn't you, back in the day?

Let's do it. The internet wormhole for Bitcoin. Now, do you know who's behind Bitcoin, mate? They reckon it's a person called Sakitashi Nakamoto, which started a Bitcoin account many years ago, but they haven't touched it since. Oh, so they started it, but they haven't really... No, they started it, but they have not done anything with it, and they reckon that person's Bitcoin account is worth over $2 billion, but they've done nothing with it and they reckon that person's bitcoin account is worth over two billion dollars but

they've done nothing with it and so then people go well who is this person and there's three particular parties that they've zeroed down on that could have started bitcoin and their reasons for starting bitcoin some reckon that the name or the uh the nickname satoshi Nakamoto is a combination of the companies Samsung, Toshiba, Nakamichi, and Motorola. So these four companies got together to create this cryptocurrency. So that's one theory. So that's the theory, okay.

Another theory, Putin. Bloody Putin's in there. He's up to all sorts of nonsense. The Russians have started this cryptocurrency to cripple the Western economy. So all the schmucks like, you know, you and me being oh, we've got to get into Bitcoin, we've got to get into Bitcoin.

And it's going to ruin the Western economy. Just wait one day. Putin's going to pull the pin on Bitcoin. Get rid of it. It feels like there's no, it's got the Wild West, there's no real, like if you lost money and suddenly you checked your account, you'd be like, hey, who do you talk to about that? Exactly.

And the other theory is the commies, the Chinese have kicked it off. Oh, God. Oh, for God. Well, not Dave. They did it. So those are those. That's the theory behind Bitcoin. Okay, Dave went back again,

and it sounds like you need to get your tinfoil hat on and go stand outside Parliament. Let's just start at Bitcoin. But do you know that 20% of the entire Bitcoin currency is lost or stuck in wallets so that people can't access it because again, they've forgotten their passwords.

Joel, you're pushing the buttons. You're younger than us. Bitcoin, should we get into it? Do you know anything about it? I personally don't have any money in it but I don't think I'm smart enough to get into it. But yeah, maybe you should

stay away from it, John. I reckon, Ben, maybe you can get into it. Ben can get into it. I can get into it. I can get into it. Okay. Even after I've just told you Putin's behind it, you're saying get into it. Yeah, but he looks like maybe I did.

Maybe I will invest all my money. That hits. This is the Jono and Ben Podcast. Spilling the tea on Hollywood's A-listers. Kardashians. I have met every single one. Exposing scandals. Because she's not a good person, but either is he. Digging the dirt. Is she a diva? Yes. Something has been missing from our lives for the last two weeks,

and it is the soulless, vacuous world of Hollywood gossip. Enty, come on down. How was vacation, guys? It was nice. We've come back here. The weather is terrible in New Zealand, but over there where you are in Hollywood, it's like heat waves and unfortunately a lot of fires happening.

Yeah, you know, the fires right now are not so much in L.A. as they are in different parts of California. But, I mean, we certainly, this is the time of year where they start from about now until November-ish. I saw on the news last night Al Gore, big climate change activist. He's like, they're getting worse and worse increasingly every year because of climate change stuff. Stuff I don't know about. That's why I said stuff. You know, the one in Northern California, it's over by Yosemite Park, I think is about to get up to 100,000 acres.

I can't do that into hectares, so you guys are going to have to do that for me. But, yeah, I mean, they get bad. And I've had several friends who have lost their homes to fires over the last, you know, five, six years or so. I mean, in the winter, fall and winter of 2017. And there's some horrific photos. You know, you can see the 405 is a freeway in Los Angeles, which everybody uses. It's like five lanes each way.

And on both sides, it was like caught on fire. And people are like rush hour traffic driving through like fire on both sides. Gee whiz. Well, listen, our thoughts are with you, and our thoughts will do nothing to stop the fires, but we are thinking of you over here, mate. Jennifer Lopez, we've talked a little bit about J-Lo over the past few months, but secretly got married to Ben Affleck,

and I saw a very savage tweet saying she's got two more rings to catch up to Tom Brady, the footballer. She's almost got as many rings as he has. So when did this wedding take place, and how come everyone didn't know about it? Well, you know, because it took place in Las Vegas. I think that everybody thought that they were already married. She keeps sending out things. She thinks that she is Jennifer Lopez from 20 years ago or 15 years ago,

where everybody hangs on her every move rather than the jennifer lopez who millennials really don't know jenzy certainly doesn't know the only people that know are the people who read like the tabloids that are in the supermarket on the cover oh jennifer lopez got married how nice um you're we've spoken many times you're not a fan of lopez you say she's a wild diva wild Wild demands. It feels like eight or nine marriages. But this is the one that she should have been in from the very beginning, obviously. But at that time when she was dating Ben, he couldn't afford her.

But they have... I'm serious. I'm totally serious, guys. You know, he bought her the pink diamond ring, and he bought her the Bentley. It wasn't Ben Affleck of now, where Ben Affleck gets like $15 or $20 million. It was Ben Affleck of, you know,

I might make a million dollars this year, and my agent's going to take 10, the taxes are going to take 40, and she wants me to buy her, you know, basically my whole year's salary on a ring and then a Bentley. Ben Affleck had to go down to Instant Finance, get a bloody loan for a Bentley.

And I see that she's, speaking of wild demands, she's demanded to take his last name. So she's Jennifer Affleck. She is. She's Jennifer Affleck. That was on the thing. And I think that this relationship will last for a very long time or until

he finds some casino waitress to have sex with or something. Come on, where's the love? Where's the love? It's with a casino waitress. Last time when they broke up, it was a stripper from Vancouver. So this time, you know, I'm

raising the bar. He's going to wait and hold out for a casino waitress. Oh, NT, well, it's always great to catch up with you. Thanks for dishing the dirt on what's happening in Hollywood, and we'll look forward to catching up with you next week. All right, you guys stay warm. The Hits. Songwriter, vocalist, producer, Grammy winner.

Seriously, Ryan Tedder, way overachieved. We're going to entertain you. I'm going to shut up. We're going to do a bunch of songs, all right? I ain't worried about you right now. The Hits and Live Nation are stoked to present Yeah, we're going to One Republic live in New Zealand.

How are you guys feeling? Let's go. We always say we're stoked to present, and we are, don't get me wrong, we are stoked to present One Republic, but just once I'd be like, we're a little embarrassed to present someone, but not in this occasion. Well, no, we don't sign up for those ones. But no once I'd be like, we're a little embarrassed to present someone, but not in this occasion. Well no, we don't sign up

for those ones. But no, I'd like us to. Like our tour, we wanted to do the Jono and Ben tour, they didn't want it. They didn't want it. The hits embarrassed to present Barry Manilow or something. Yeah, we're not. Yeah, the hits are stoked to present One Republic. They're going to be live in New Zealand in 2023. Playing one gig in Auckland,

one in Wellington in March next year. Now now Live Nation pre-sale commences tomorrow 11 o'clock if you want to go get your tickets you can do it that way the general public

tickets go on on Friday or if I go to the Hits stock highlands but we have a double pass up for grabs right now okay I'll wait home

to the Hits telephone number if you want it well I'm going to do a little game oh you've got a game I've got a little game I've got a game so which one

of my One Republic facts is false I'm going to tell which one of my One Republic facts is false? I'm going to tell you three facts about One Republic. One is false. And I had to read the hits if you know which one it is. You should know a lot about One Republic then if you're phoning up. Should we take a call now? No, we're going to do it in just a few moments.

Okay. Okay, so here's my first fact. Okay. One of their songs, one of the One Republic songs, features heartbeats from Guatemalan children. Now, one of the songs as part of the musical arrangement features the heartbeats, the sound of their hearts. So is that a fact or is that false about One Republic?

That is true. Even asking a Guatemalan child, can I record your heartbeat with a microphone is an odd question. All right, okay, so that's one fact. The second fact about One Republic, a lead singer, Ryan, hates flying after a near-death experience in Russia. So every time he tours,

he has to overcome his fear of frying. Is that a fact? Or is that the fear of flying or the fear of frying? Also, he doesn't like frying. Cooking bacon and eggs. Yeah, well, that's something he doses off. You know what happens when you put the frying pan on. And the final fact

about One Republic, is it true or not? The first full band name was actually One Republic Toilet after a public toilet in their town in Colorado. I'm going to pick that.

That's the false one. He's gone lazy on the third. But they later dropped it to just One Republic. So they're from a town in Colorado. There was One Public Toilet. One's going with One Republic Toilet. They said they were called One Republic Toilet and. So they're from a town in Colorado. There was OnePublicToilet. One's going with OneRepublicToilet.

They said they were called OneRepublicToilet. Then they went, that's a silly name. So I uttered the hits. We'll do that very shortly. A double pass to OneRepublic. Just tell me which one of my OneRepublic facts is the one that is false, and you could be winning that.

Well, can I put my vote in for the PublicToilet? We will find out. Or the weird Guatemalan children one. One of them's true. We apologize in advance. Jeez, sorry. Sorry about that. Or the weird Guatemalan children one. Well, one of them's true. We apologise in advance. Jeez, sorry. Sorry about that. Sorry you got roped into this.

Jono and Ben. Sorry. On the hits. Just before, I said some facts about One Republic. They're coming back to New Zealand next year. They will pass up for grabs if you know which one of my One Republic facts is actually not true. Yeah, many of them were strange. The Guatemalan children one weirded me out. Oh, yeah. So one of many of them were strange. The Guatemalan children were unwedded me out.

Oh, yeah. So one of their songs features heartbeats of Guatemalan children. Is that a fact or not? Lead singer Ryan hates flying after a near-death experience in Russia. Is that a fact or not? And their first full band name was actually One Republic Toilet after a public toilet in their hometown in Colorado. Again, reaching with that one.

Let's get Nicky on from the company coast. Do you want to go see One Republic? Yes, I do. Yeah, good. Well, you've phoned up the right radio station, mate. Which one of those facts is false? Well, I'm hoping it's the one about the toilet, but I don't know.

Yeah, it is. Cool. It's also weird they recorded Guatemalan children's hearts. Yeah, they raised a lot of money for Save the Children, and it was part of the Save the Children song, so they got heartbeats. Oh, now don't I feel like a monster. They used the heartbeats in the track for one of their songs, Raise Money for Save the Children.

So pretty awesome. But Nikki, you're going to see a run Republic in New Zealand next year. Oh, wow, that's fantastic. I love them. Good on them. They all seem like, I was looking at their photo, they all seem like such lovely, a group of gentlemen who, you don't know who is who, but you know they all do something.

Like Ben and me. Yeah. I don't know what we do. You're like, oh, they look like they do something. You enjoy the concert, all right? Thank you. Yeah, we'll do. How was your holiday?

Oh, it was great. It was really good. We'll bang on about it all throughout the rest of the show. Oh, no, you worry, Nicky. We'll be banging. Yeah, we'll go. How was your holiday? It was great. It was really good. We'll bang on about it all throughout the rest of the show. Oh, no, you worry, Nicky. We'll be banging. Yeah. The Jono and Ben Podcast. The world's number one podcast.

Please don't check those stats. Back after a couple of weeks on holiday. It's really good to be back. And we went away. When we went away on holiday, we had someone look after our dog. And we all suited because we've got, I talk about him quite a lot, a big, white, fluffy Samoyed bow. He's a lot of dog.

A lot of dog. Too much dog for you. Too much dog for the person looking after our house to handle. So we organized him to get some walks while we were away, what they call like a forest retreat for the dogs, where they pick the dog up and they take him away for a day out in the forest. Oh, Jesus. What have we done to dogs?

I know. Like for hundreds of years, you know, these animals have survived on, you know, sheer instinct and just determination. And here we are. You're dropping them off at doggy daycare. Yeah, and they're picking them up for this one.

Yeah, but Pampa Days, you know, we're dressing them up as cute Pokemon characters and putting them on Instagram. We've ruined dogs. No, I was sceptical. I was sceptical that the dogs even went on these things. Like, you know, because the dogs don't come back and go, hey, great day out there.

Thanks for that. Now I've got a hemp clothing and a desire to vote for Chloe Swarbrick. Thanks for my wilderness retreat. But they send you photos. And as we're away on holiday, we get photos and a bit of a report card. You get a bit of an update on how Bo's been going on his sort of forest retreat as well. And sometimes it feels like, you know, I've told

you this before, they're really trying to not save the dog. Because I know Bo, he's lovely, but he's quite vocal. He loves to hang out with people. He doesn't listen when he gets there. You know, he's a bit of a pain. Would you take him to the wilderness yourself? Would you trust Bo in the wilderness? Not letting him go and not with a whole lot of other dogs.

But here we go. This is his report card, just quickly. Best achievement, he found a pine cone. That was Bo's best achievement. Out of all the things he did, that was his best achievement. Reaching. Yeah. Needs working on, coming when he's called.

Well, yeah, I know that one. Best friend, everyone. Photo ready. He was photo ready, though. They said, put this dog on the cover of vogue they probably wouldn't though would you put him in vogue because you're going to be like oh this is a fashion magazine why you put a dog on there yeah but they said he had a great time was more interested in the other dogs than this handler i get it i understand uh had no problems hopping

in the car which is good because i've seen him do that before when someone came to pick up something from trade me just cop straight into the car no So no problems with that. He's the opposite. If someone comes past in a van with some lollies, Bo's in there. No questions asked. He had a great day. A great day all round. But obviously that's costly.

He's a pricey pet. He had a great day. And I'm glad he had a great day. And he had a couple of those. But it costs. Did he go beer grills out in the wilderness? Did he? Probably.

He does that out of the wilderness too, doesn't he? So that's why I want to feel a little bit better this morning. I want to talk about pricey pets. And 0800 the hits or 4487 is the number. Have you spent a lot on your pet? Has it cost you a lot of money? What are we talking? What was the ball of the bangers for this wilderness retreat?

Give me a ballpark. No, I don't like to know these things. My wife hides these things from me because I know that I'll go, what, we're paying this for this? No, we can't. You know, so I don't, honestly, I don't know. You don't know. But it wouldn't be pretty if it's being hidden from you yeah it's hidden from me it's not fun make for nice reading

although i was telling someone the story yesterday and they were saying uh that they were walking their dog over the last couple of weeks and someone came up to them and and said oh cute dog we used to have one just like this a few weeks ago yeah a few weeks ago it was taken oh my god that's awful and then they offered him him some money on the spot for the dog and they were like, $1,000, can we have your dog? I'd say,

take him. $1,000? And they were like, no, no, we can't, we can't sell it. And then they went for $5,000.

They linked it to $5,000. And I was like, oh. This is like, who wants to be a millionaire? I was looking at the kids going, would we,

would we for five grand? It's five grand. Did they do it? And they were like, no, no, we can't, we can't, we can't.

And the person, but I was like, how far would that person have gone? Like at 10 grand a year. I mean, I love my, we can't, we can't, we can't. But I was like, how far would that person have gone? Like at 10 grand a year. I mean, I love my dog. Everything's, you know, everyone can be bought. There's a lot more dogs out there.

So we have breeding programs. You might miss that one, but you'll form love for a new one. Well, you've got a dog now, though. You couldn't do it, though, could you? Well, you could, but your kids. I don't have no qualms. 10 grand. Throw the kids in for 10 grand. Thank you could, but your kids. I don't have no qualms. Ten grand. Throw the kids in for ten grand.

Thank you, Joel. I would. Both of them. We're talking pricey pets this morning, my dog. Enjoyed your time on a bit of a forest retreat while we were away. Just finding himself in a wilderness retreat. Yeah, he had a great time, but of course that comes at a cost. That time comes at a cost.

But the problem is the dogs don't appreciate it. He's not going to go, that's a day I'll remember. I mean, as far as, yeah. He's not going to reflect on the good times, the money he invested in his wilderness retreat. I got Tony on 0800 The Hits. You had a pricey pet. Well, when I was about eight, we had a horse called Buffa.

Okay. That's what Ben calls me. Who named the horse Buffa? I don't know, actually. I'm not sure how we got that name, but it was a very fat horse. So we turned up at the paddock one day, my mum, my sister and I, to feed him and check on him and everything, and he was stuck

between two trees and he could not move. Is this because he had kind of, like me, let himself go in life? Oh, he must have done. He was quite an old horse. He probably would have been about 20. Wow. And he got stuck, and we couldn't for the life of us move him anywhere, so we ended up having to get a vet out who gave him a sedative.

Once he kind of relaxed a little bit, we doused him down with a whole lot of oil, and about an hour later of manoeuvring him and trying everything we could to get about, he eventually popped out backwards, and he was free. Hold on, so how long did you spend greasing up a horse? I don't know. It was ridiculous. With what, baby oil or something?

I don't know what oil they used, but yeah, some kind of oil. Was cutting down the tree an option? Yeah. Yes. They were pretty big trees. I'm going to go, should we try cutting down the tree before we start greasing up the horse? No, that's oil up the horse. We managed to get him out backwards.

There was a ditch behind him, so I don't know if he ended up in the ditch. But anyway, he got out of the tree. He since passed, but he lived to a really old age for a horse, which is pretty cool. R.I.P. Buffer. Poor old Buffy. Poor old Buffy. That's really cool, Tony.

Really appreciate your call. You're going to have a great day. All good. You too. Thank you. See you, mate. Perry with us. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast.

Perry on 0800 The Hits. Pricey pets. What happened? My dog jumped on the side of a ute, slipped off and broke his femur. Oh, the poor thing. While the ute was moving. Yeah, moving a house and he went to

instead of jumping on the tailgate, he ended up jumping on the side of the ute, slipped off and his whole body, his whole body weight landed on his leg. Oh, jeez. This is horrible. And so I imagine this is a costly process. Three surgeries later, I had to drive three hours out of town

for two of the surgeries. And yeah, total's probably about $13,000. Oh, jeez. They're not cheap, are they? No. Oh my God. Well, listen, you must love that dog. Ben wouldn't even pay $13,000

for me to get my femur fixed. I could find another old dog to replace Jono, don't worry. You can't replace your old dog. Your mother would do it anyway. Yeah, no, you're right. Good on you, Perry. Good on you, mate. Well, you and your

bionic dog go and have a great day. Appreciate your time. Awesome. Cheers. Thank you. Cheers, Perry. Tamsin, welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. How's it going, mate? Good. Good, thanks. Pricey pets. What happened, Tam? So my Frenchie,

Frankie, he got IBDD last year. So that's a disc disease. And he needed a very expensive surgery. Right and Palmerston North Right, so what are we talking here? What is it? What is Internet Movie Database?

Is that what I'm getting at? IBDD, so it's a disc disease in dogs, prevalent in Frenchies and sausage dogs mostly And how much? Oh, tens of thousands Oh, tens of thousands It's including like his rehab too

still going well do you know a dear friend of ours Sharon and Bryce they have a French Bulldog they paid they paid thousands and thousands

for a full private park reconstruction yeah yeah like actually and I think water therapy yeah like aqua therapy

and stuff like that like it's leading it's leading a better life than I am Oh my gosh I've never done I don't even know I've never done water therapy

I mean you've never taken me for water No, you're right You've never reconstructed my private parts Yeah, no thanks But this is you just love

you love the dog obviously Absolutely He's family He's like my second child. Am I a monster for saying there's other French Bulldogs out there? Hey, mate, you've got a dog now. What would happen? You wouldn't be.

You couldn't do it. You would say that before. You're saying it now, but you couldn't. Yeah, pre-pet me, I would have said it. Yeah, you're right. I'm becoming soft. Start voting for the left now. Now, text 4487.

I'm a dog trainer. I know someone who spent $40,000 on a dog because they wanted to turn their dog into an influencer. Oh, I knew that. Hocking off diet pills and all sorts of stuff. Pointing at objects like Ben Ben pointing at objects on Instagram. They wanted their dog to do that. There's some pricey pets out there.

The hits. This is the Jono and Ben podcast. Wall to wall talking without the niggly popular songs in between. Now weather, that's the thing that's always around Ben and we like to talk to Philip Duncan from weatherwatch.co.nz Come on in.

Very good to be with you guys. Now I have a quick question before we get into talking about the wild weather over the last five days and what is still to come. As a weather forecaster, why don't you just give us some false hope? Why don't you go, hey, things are going to be looking good tomorrow. Then we all think, oh, great, it's a nice sunny day coming tomorrow. Because, you know, Ben said, yeah, we woke up this morning and then the first thing we hear is miserable weather for the next six days is predicted.

Yeah, there was actually a serious news story about a guy in America who was trying to make every weather positive, but it didn't work very well. He lost his job. Yeah, basically people don't care. It gets boring. But I get caught up in it as well. Like I was saying earlier this morning, I tie up my tramp.

You know, wherever I hear there's going to be wild winds, but I resisted it yesterday because I get mocked from my wife saying, you never have to do this. It never gets that bad. But it did get pretty bad and apparently the weather is going to get windy and rainy to continue for the rest of the week. Yeah, it's not going to be as bad as it was really the last 24 hours for the north of the country because we've got this big low rolling in

and it's got windy areas within it, but it's not actually a storm, it's just sort of like there are pockets of wind that you get around our mountains and ranges. So it won't be as bad, but yeah, the week ahead, we've got this low coming in right now, so it's going to take a few days to unravel, and so that means more showers and more wet. Yeah, wet is probably the main feature, really, that's starting to drive people crazy.

Are you a trampoline tire? Philip Duncan, you like to tie down the old tramp? No. It sounds really weird when you say it like that. No. No. I don't have a trampoline anymore, and the last one we did was in a very sheltered spot.

The last one we did blew away. About 10 k's up. So I don't have to tie one down. What's the rules around that? If a tramp ends up in your backyard, is it your tramp? Is it a gift from the weather gods? I don't know.

It's my home town of Te Araha. My brother once woke up to find their neighbour's roof lying in their property. Oh, wow. If you want to claim that as well. So it feels like South Island's going to be getting it in the chops today? Yeah, there's plenty of rain coming down there. And in fact, Canterbury, it doesn't take a lot of rain to cause flooding in Canterbury. So Canterbury's a region to keep an eye on. So is Nelson and Marlborough.

You know, rain's sliding right down across the country. There is at the moment. So, yeah, it's going to be another wet day for some areas, but hopefully it's not going to be too problematic. Not great weather, obviously, here in New Zealand for the next couple of days. But then you look overseas and, you know, they're getting some wildly hot weather, particularly in the UK and America as well. What's your thoughts, Philip Duncan, from Weather Watch as a weather expert? Is this global warming? Is this what's happening?

There are two things. The climate change part is the fact that the temperatures were breaking records in the UK. That's the climate change side of it because there's a pattern that it's getting more predictable. Well, hold on, that's if you believe in climate change. Okay. It's like facts, but anyway. I like to play a balanced role on this show, Philip. Oh, for who?

For who? Who's not believing? Maybe Donald Trump is about the only one. Our Trump supporters. Oh, geez. All right, carry on, Phil. The other side of it is the fact that New Zealand has reached over 42 degrees twice before, both in Canterbury.

And both of those times, it took a very specific set-up with a nor'wester coming out of the Australian desert. And that's a very specific set-up. That doesn't happen very often. So we don't reach 40 degrees very often. But I would imagine the next time we do, it will probably break those records, and that'll be another sign of, oh, yeah, the world's getting warmer. Okay.

I'm planning a barbecue. Am I doing? Yes, you are invited, firstly. Okay, good. Me? Can I come? You can come. Everyone's welcome. you are invited, firstly. OK, good. Can I come? You're welcome. BYO sausages. Steak, you can be on the steak, Ben.

Duncan, you can be on the sausage. Cheers. When can we have a barbecue? That's my question. Well, we might be able to on Friday, maybe, potentially. Obviously, the forecast keeps chopping and changing. We're at that time of year where there's a lot of wet weather coming through. So the next week ahead, you might be able to find little windows to do it.

All right. Actually, can I put you on salads, Phil? I'll put you on salads. Don't be dead. I'm not good on a barbecue. Yeah, no, okay, salads. So when is the weather going to get, like, when do we get, when are we through the worst of it?

Like, how many more weeks of this do we have to put up with? Well, the days are getting longer now, so we've got more sunlight. We've got about 17 or 18 minutes of extra sunlight at the top of the country and about 25 minutes of extra sunlight at the bottom end of the country compared to a month ago on our shortest day. So there's a positive. And usually about the middle to late part of August, we start to really notice that it's starting to be more like spring.

So we may have gone past the coldest part of the year, especially if we keep getting these rainmakers, because that's keeping the overnight lows well above average. So yeah, probably another month to go, really. Another month to go. Listen, you know, there's always that joke, isn't there? You fill an awkward silence with banter about the weather, but we managed to do it every week for four minutes

with Philip Duncan from Weather Watch. Thank you very much for your time. Cheers, guys. Have a good day. Thanks, Philip. Mature, responsible, and considerate. Three words we sadly can't use here. Jono and Ben on the hits. It's good to Mature, responsible, and considerate. Three words we sadly can't use here. Jono and Ben on the hits. It's good to be back. Ben's had a bit

of a stressful morning two weeks away and he couldn't remember his password to log into the computer. Hey, poor Bruce in the tech department. It's only been two weeks, too. Yeah, that's what Bruce in the tech said. He said, it's only been two weeks. It's only ten working days and you've forgotten your password. Could not remember the password. I wanted to go home, but you guys made me stick around

oh it's all over can't log into the old thing you know what I did enjoy because Ben and I were on holiday together and what I really enjoyed seeing and I haven't seen it for at least two and a half years it was good to see the buffet the buffet back in full flux

back in all of it's COVID-y glory just available I ended up with seven different meats on the same plate at one stage seven meats! As a Kiwi you love to get your money's worth at a buffet, eh? and foods that shouldn't go together, you put them together because that's what you do

you form it like a Jenga tower don't you, on your plate at the buffet I had crab sticks, sausages, steaks, spaghetti bolognese mince chicken nuggets all just in the same meal it was fantastic uh but i tell you what after making a pig of myself at the buffet um you do regret it at three o'clock in the morning well because you only eat once a day pretty much don't you you know so i can imagine you you're buffeting hard i I buffet, I buffet.

Hard at night. But one of the joys in life is probably committing the most low-level crime any restaurant visitor could commit. You go to breakfast in the morning and you're like, well, kids are probably going to be hungry around about lunchtime. Why don't we kidnap some muffins? Take some fruit with you? Wrap it up in a napkin, sort of shove it somewhere down your trousers or something and sneak out of the restaurant.

I'd do the same thing except for fruit. I look like I'm about to eat the banana on my way out, but I'm not going to. Oh, you've got a whole batch going. I haven't opened it. I'm like, I'm ready to go. I'll even do the little thing where I'm about to sort of peel it as I walk past the lady, but no, I'm saving that banana for later. But everyone, you know, like everyone has their own little way to approach the stealing of the food.

You know, I like to, I walked out with a blueberry muffin in the front of my pocket, in my jean short pocket. Ben, you like to put on a bit of an act. Some people wrap it up in a napkin, put it in their bag. I've seen that happen before. But they know what's going on. No, they do. Mate, we see this hundreds of times a day.

Why are you walking out with your back to the wall because you've got a croissant shoved in the back of your trousers? Don't worry. It's a croissant. Just take it. Just take it. Eat it. Don't worry.

It was almost as much danger as when we were trying to smuggle KFC across the border during lockdown. That's how dangerous the crime is. Tell you what I love about holiday cuisine is when you get the kids' menu, everything with fries. Like everything with fries. You want nuggets, you've got fries. You want burgers, you've got fries. You want a fruit salad? Fries.

We ordered the kids one night. I was like, we'll get them spag bol, spaghetti bolognese. Because I was like, hey, you've been eating a lot of fries. Without a word of a lie, it came out with fries. I've never, spaghetti bolognese. Because I was like, hey, you've been eating a lot of fries. Without a word of a lie, it came out with fries. I've never seen spaghetti bolognese with a side of fries, but it came out with fries. It's wonderful filler content, fries. Carbs on carbs. And no one doesn't like a fry.

You couldn't meet one person on this planet of Earth that doesn't enjoy a hot chips. Not one. Joel? What if someone's allergic to potatoes? Who's allergic to potatoes? Who's allergic to potatoes? Joel, our producer. Who's allergic? You name me one person

who's allergic to potatoes. It might be someone. All right, 4487. Are you allergic to potatoes? If you are, we'll find your prize. It won't be potatoes. It'll be...

Bag of chips. Yeah, all right. DraxProject660, Catching Feelings, it is the hits. Jono and Ben with you, 7.48. Let's go. Jono and Ben with five words for 5K. Stop any time to keep the cash. Thank you. Or play on to win more.

Really love this new version of the game. It's much easier to win a whole lot of money, but it's up to you to decide how far you want to go. You could risk it all. Now, we had one theory when we got into this radio lark, Ben, that we weren't here to change the game. We were just here to play it. We changed it.

You know, you've gone ahead and changed the game. It's a game changer, PJ. You're on from Auckland. How are you? Hi. Good to have game changer, PJ. You're on from Auckland. How are you? Hi. Good to have you on, Peach. Firstly, are you okay with me calling you Peach? That's fine.

That's fine. Secondly, what do you do for a job? I work in recruitment. Okay, who would you recruit out of Ben and myself? Who's got more skills? Depends on what the job was, right? If you wanted a town idiot. Bye to you. Oh, bye to the job was, right? If you wanted like a town idiot, Jono, would you?

Bye, could you? Oh, bye. What, for the town idiot role? Maybe Jono. Is there a role for the town idiot? I don't know. Okay, PJ, you need to decide who's going to go into the soundproof booth

to match your five words with. Ben, please. All right, he's heading on into the soundproof booth, also fresh back from two weeks of annual leave for the soundproof booth. We won't know what it got up to, though, because it's soundproof. Won't even tell us.

PJ, here we go. You know how it works. First word that comes into your head when I say up. Down. Olive. Say that again. Olive.

Well, sorry, I can't really. O-L- Olive. Spell it. Sorry, I can't really. O-L-I-V-E. Olive. Not a huge fan of the old olive. Olive oil. Olive oil. Gossip is the third word for you this morning, PJ.

Can we come back? Brush, word number four. Brush your hair, brush. Hairbrush. And the fifth Brush, word number four. Brush your hair, brush. Hair brush. And the fifth and final word was shopping. Trolley. And we'll just leap back to gossip. What do you reckon?

My, my, my, my. Damn it. Gossip column. Gossip column, not bad, not bad. All right, let's release Ben Boyce from the SPB. What would you spend $5,000 on if you get there, PJ? Maybe towards bathroom renovation. Oh, yes, slap up some new tiles.

Yep. And a shower head or something. That's all I know about bathroom renovations. Ben, let's do it. You have no choice. We are going to play Word number one for $25. Word one, $25. Ben Boyce, first word that comes into your head when I say up.

Down. Well done, $25. PJ, the decision is do you move on to the next one or do you walk away with the cash? Yes, please. She's going on to word two. Word two, $50. Olive.

Oil. You got 50 bangers there, PJ. What are you doing? You could walk away a happy lady right now. Are you going to move on and risk it all? Yeah, I've got to. Keep going. Yeah, so you've got to know when to hold them.

You've got to know when to Kenny Rogers the reference because you can't remember the lyrics. Let's go on. Word three, $100. Yeah, this is for $100, Ben. Gossip was the word. First word that comes to your head when I say gossip. Oh, gossip.

Girl? Gossip girl? Yeah! You had 50 bucks, PJ. I know. I just didn't think he'd even know about that program

Oh no He's We're a very feminine show Don't you worry about that Yeah I know Don't worry I'm sorry

What did you say? What did you say? Column Column Let's just see how far you could have gone though with brush as word number four

Here You would have got that and the fifth word was shopping Trolley If only. And the fifth word was shopping. Trolley. If only gossip was the last word. You could have had... Oh, my God.

That doesn't work out. PJ, you're an absolute super star. You go off and do some recruiting. Ben and I will go off and do some radioing. You have a great day and look after yourself. You too. Thanks. Your next chance to play Five Words,

a brand new version of Five Words, is tomorrow at the same time. It is the hits. You've got Jono and Ben. I want to tune for you Tuesday. It's Justin Timberlake, Rock Your Body 752. Warning, this show contains Jono and or Ben. Jono and Ben on the hits.

Hey, fresh back from holiday today. And Ben, I just wanted to talk about travelling. Travelling, haven't done it in a while, travelling. It's been a long time, right? Yes. Sorry, big sign at the airport, which, you know, there's three signs actually as you're going through customs. It says, do not make bomb jokes.

Warning. Person's making inappropriate jokes. Who's still doing that? I don't know. I mean, obviously, a lot of people, if they have to make three signs. Three signs. How many idiots are making jokes about bombs? A lot of people struggling to get back.

Over 200 flights were cancelled over the weekend. 100,000 Kiwis, they reckon, affected to try and get home after school holidays. Well, maybe make a bomb joke. You might get transported somewhere quicker than you currently would. You know what I do appreciate, though, is on the plane they have a function, seat chat. So, you know, you can chat to other seats on the plane. And it feels like we are placing a lot of faith in your average munter flyer aka me to have this whole communication system on the plane where i can talk to seat you know 60 c or 1a yeah but you've got to get it

right my daughter she kept after the plane because i was sitting separately from from the family she's like you didn't even reply to me on seat chat i was like i've never got a seat chat and then she looked on the way out of the seat that she'd actually messaged and i had you have a request from seat blah blah blah she's like oh i got the wrong seat so that's what can happen it must have it would must have been something was happening to the lady next to me uh because i'd given her a good punishing you know what i do people get chatting away oh yeah you chat you love her like i'm i'm like i'm ready to put my headphones on i'm like ready to watch something i get sick of those little announcements they're like cabin core cabin crew please disarm your

door i'm like just do what you need to do. I don't need to hear that. But they love the announcement through the thing. I just want to watch something on the screen. Well, she was getting sick of my seat chat in real life. She was a minute away from chucking on a parachute and jumping out the plane door. But she was getting all antsy. And I was like, what's going on, mate?

What's going on? She took off her headphones. She's like, are you getting seats chatted by 58D? I was like, no, I'm not getting seats chatted by 58D. Oh, some guy called Roman saying he likes the back of my head. Really? And Roman, yeah, but Roman was trying it on from the back of the plane there. Wow. I mean, good on. Do you remember we made you very nervous with seat chat? We were flying to America for work, and I'd figured out, oh, well, the seat chat's the new thing. I can communicate with Ben on the other side of the plane.

And our friend Sharon as well. And there's a little warning going, hey, don't use this. You know, like at the top, you have to sign on for the warning. So I'm like, okay, I will, because I'll get this message from you. And then all of a sudden you're making inappropriate jokes. I was like, Ben, have you still got the hardcore narcotics we're trying to get into the country Ben Boyce has exited the group

straight away straight away I was out of here I was like I am out of here I was having so much fun with it you can make both flyers very nervous with a bit of seat chat and it's a hit you got Jono and Ben The Hits

The Jono and Ben Podcast hits The Jono and Ben podcast They've got pranks They've got puns Now they just need Some actual listeners Jono and Ben On the hits Now we do

The one take call It's basically Where we record Our parts Of a phone conversation In the hope That we play them To someone

Down the line And they don't notice That we've pre-recorded The phone call It's never quite worked Has it? No, we've had not much success with it, but we keep persisting with it like the All Blacks do with Ian Foster.

Are people still banging on about that? I saw that was a big topic when we were away. I'm just trying to get some topical references in. Not an expensive point. Oh, I'm just saying, you give the guy a break. I don't like, hey, it's sport. You win some, you lose some. Yeah, exactly.

You know? I was just trying to do a reference there. Sorry, it came across quite harsh. I'm sorry, Ian Foster. I don't know you. You seem like a really nice guy. Now I'm in a weird hole apologising to Ian Foster on the radio. The one take call.

So shall I give it a go this week, Ben? Yeah, go on. Since we're back from holiday, we'll try and book another holiday. Shall we? So I'll record my parts. Okay, start recording now. Leave gaps. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Hey, hey. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, tell me about it. It's just one of those times of year, isn't it? Really looking for a getaway. A bit of a breakaway.

Yeah. Uh, gore? How much is a flight to gore yep yeah no call I was gonna go down there maybe for about two weeks that sounds like a nice hotel what else what else have they got there what A water slide? No. Okay. Pack my togs? All right. No worries.

Thanks. Okay. Well, you just email me through the details. Thanks. There we go. Yeah, look, none of this stuff is going to work. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to be negative.

You're one of the haters I hear about. I've come back from the holiday, and I'm meant to be positive. I'm meant to be refreshed. But none of this stuff is going to work. You've taken too many liberties with the phone conversation. They're never going to hear. I mean, I don't even know if Gaw's got a water slide. Do you? We're about to find out.

At least go with something that you know. Anyway, over to you. Let's make a call to a travel agent. We'll play them that recording that you just heard. And hopefully the gaps, they'll fill in the gaps. They won't know they're talking to a recorded message. Hi, Travel Lakers. This is Susie speaking.

Can I help you? Hey, hey, hey, hey. Oh, can I help you there today? Hey, hey. Yeah. Yeah, can I help you there today? Hey, hey. Yeah. Yeah, can I help you there today? Oh, tell me about it. It's just one of those times of year, isn't it?

It sure is. Really looking for a getaway, a bit of a breakaway. Sure, okay. Where were you thinking you might like to go? Yeah. And where were you thinking you might like to go? Gore? There isn't actually any flights that operate to Gore

I was going to go down there maybe for about two weeks Who am I speaking to please? I think you're having me on That sounds like a nice hotel What else have they got there? What? A water slide. No.

Okay. Peck my togs? All right. No worries. Thanks. Okay. Well, you just email me through the details. I will do that. Thanks. Okay. Well, you just email me through the details. I will do that.

Are you there? It's Jono and Ben calling from the Hutt's radio station. I'm sorry for interrupting your morning. We were just... Jono and Ben. Jono and Ben. We've never got that much laughter from anything we've ever done. Now, now.

So naughty. Susie, I'm sorry. Susie, I'm sorry. So naughty. You were the innocent victim of a game we like to play. It's called the one-take call where I record all of my parts of the phone call before we've even phoned you,

and then we just play it down the line. Hoping you won't notice it's a recorded call, and it was a very weird conversation, so we're sorry about that. Hey, that's really, that's hilarious. We're just that super, but I just, I wasn't my best. I've let myself down. No, no, you were great. You were great.

Susie, you're a champion. Susie, I tell you what, do you love a half-naked Chris Hemsworth? He's okay. He'sworth? He's okay. He's okay. He's okay. We're going to send you to see Thor, the new movie in cinemas, all right? Oh, you're a darling. Thanks ever so much.

Hey, you just hold the line really briefly. We'll grab your number and we can send that to you. Thanks so much for being a good sport. The Great Pineapple Debate. Thanks to Hutton's with the new Hawaiian Sizzler. Yeah, this time the pineapple debate is not about a pineapple on pizza. It's pineapple and sausages. That's right.

There's a brand new Hawaiian Sizzler for a limited time only, so get them quick while you can. A cheese and pineapple paradise. Now, you might be thinking to yourself, 8.18 in the morning, is it too early for sausage content? And we say never too early for sausage. That's what we always say. We also say on this side of the world, as soon as you instantly add pineapple to anything,

we turn it into a Hawaiian dish. So these sausages are like a Hawaiian volcano exploding inside your mouth. Yeah, they look very good. All right, now we're going to do a bit of a pineapple debate. We've each got a couple of little pineapple containers in the studio with amount of cash inside. You've got one. I've got one.

It can be anywhere between $1,000 to $1,000 that we've got inside. I don't know how much you've got, and you don't know how much I've got, but I've had a look inside mine. You've had a look inside yours. You're feeling pretty good? I am. And now our job is to convince the wonderful Erin from Rotorua to choose our pineapple.

Erin, welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. How's life? Oh, it's very good. I would like to try one of those sausages. Oh! And cheese. That would do that. You know what I really appreciate about your humble sizzler

is the sausage technology. They get the cheese in there. You know, the double cheese? How are they doing that? Oh, yeah. And it melts. How are they inserting that cheese in there, Ben?

How? I don't know. It's state-of-the-art sausage technology. Scientists and technology as well. NASA. Yeah, but so right now,

you know, you need to decide who's pineapple you want with the amount of cash. Now, it can be anywhere between $1,000 to $1,000. Now, we both get you need to decide who's pineapple you want with the amount of cash. Now, it can be anywhere between $1,000 to $1,000. Now, we both get a chance to convince you. Erin, I'm going to ask you a question. Okay. When have I ever lied to you?

Well, you've never spoken to me before. Exactly. So I've never lied to you. Never lied to you. I'm telling you, looking at this dollar value now between $1,000 and $1,000, if you don't choose me, you'll be regretting it for the rest of your life. The rest of your life? Are you confident you've got that much?

When have I ever lied to Aaron? Well, you've spoken to Aaron. I have a relationship with Aaron that's built on lies and mistruths. It's all honesty, baby, all trust. Now, Aaron, I don't know how much you consider a lot of money between $1,000 to $1,000, but I reckon I've got a good amount. Like, I reckon I have got a good amount. That's all I'm going to say reckon I've got a good amount. Like, I reckon I have got a good... That's all I'm going to say. I've got a good amount. What could you buy with it?

Oh, you could buy quite a few packs of the new Heller's Hawaiian Scissors, that's for sure. Beautiful. Beautiful. You could get me by quite a few packs. You're bringing it back to the client. Pineapples even when it's out of season. Wow, okay. It's a good amount. Okay, Aaron. I don't know what you've got, though.

Well, I've never lied to Erin. Erin. Yes, I'm here. Who are you going to choose? Are you going to choose Ben's plastic pineapple or mine? Oh, any, me, me, money, mo, catch a pineapple by its toes. Ben. She's gone with Ben.

Erin, you have won. Yes. $400. Oh, wicked. That's awesome. Well done. Erin, if you had... But here is the news. If you had chosen me, Erin,

you would have won $950. No way. No, show me that piece of paper. No, he's not. You lied to me. He's lying to you. He's coming out. He's coming out.

He's coming out. So much. I've got his pineapple. $150. Yes! You know how I said I never lied to you? You lied to us. The brand new Hawaiian Sizzlers.

They look amazing. Cheese and pineapple perfection. And you've got $400. Well played. Well played. Wonderful. Thank you, too. Another chance tomorrow around about the same time to $400. Well played. Well played. Wonderful. Thank you, too. Another chance tomorrow around about the same time to play the brand new game.

It is the hits. You've got Jono and Ben. If you're here for parenting advice, you're in big trouble. Jono and Ben on the hits. I'll tell you what. Funny story. We're way on holiday. I love kids when they're at the age, particularly young kids,

when they have no filter, where they just come out with whatever's in their head, they just come out with. Yeah, well, I say if you're not a parent and you've ever wondered what parenting is like, well, just imagine looking after your drunkest friend in town, but imagine doing that all the time with a miniature version. Yeah. They're easily distracted. They say the first thing that comes into their head. They pee wherever they want, don't they?

Sorry, a kid just wandered out of his room on holiday, just pants down to the ankles, hands on hips. It was like a golden hose. His parents were mortified. That's what happens. I mean, kids will do this sort of thing. And I was walking past a family. We were staying at the same hotel. And it looked like the mum and the dad were walking

just a few steps in front of the kid. And the kid must have been about three or four years old, and he had quite a pained expression on his face. He was walking a bit slow. It looked kind of like you at the end of when you tried that marathon. Just sore. Every step was hurting. And then he yelled out, mum, dad, stop, wait up. And I had to stop because he'd grabbed the touch

and he's like, I need to go poo-poo's real bad. And you can see the parents just go, oh, my God. As our whole family are walking past and we're looking at the parents and just sort of give you that little smile from a parent. And they're like, oh, my God, our kid has come out with something that's embarrassing. Ben, you could have gone, me too, bro, me too. Where should we go?

Yeah. Let's do it. I was feeling quite smug that day until my daughter actually, Sienna, embarrassed me. Because I was like, oh, we're past that age. I said to Amanda, my wife, isn't it good we're past that age where our kids don't blurt out stuff? They're sort of, they're slowly learning when you can and can't say things. You know, when you can and can't lie as well, it's a great day in a child's life when you learn the art of lying. Yeah.

But what I'd done a few weeks ago is i taught my daughter sienna she was she wanted to know why people yell out taxi when someone knocks something at a restaurant she's like what does that mean and i'd explain that to her a few weeks ago and then that afternoon is like would have it i knocked a wine uh like a glass of wine down on the grass on the ground and it broke i was like oh no and then youienna looked around, she looked at me and smiled, and she's like, taxi? It was like her opportunity to yell out taxi. And I'm like, oh, yeah.

Everyone's looking at her going, shouldn't it be an Uber? Exactly. Yeah, come on, you're 12, take an Uber. Okay, this is what we want to do. Please help us out. Day one of holiday. We would love your calls. 0800 the hits, 4487.

I shouldn't say please help us out. It sounds quite desperate. It sounds very your calls. 0800 the hits, 4487. I shouldn't say please help us out. It sounds quite desperate. It sounds very desperate. No, I won't. Take that back. We've got loads of calls coming in. Loudmouth Kids, have you got one? Have you fallen victim to a loudmouth child?

4487 the text, 0800 the hits, the number. What has your kid said to embarrass you? We'd love your calls and texts this morning. We're not desperate. Not desperate. Not at all. Mmm. Coffee breath. Jono and Ben on the hits. Not at all. Mmm. Coffee breath.

Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, Catherine, we're talking loudmouth kids. Your kid's embarrassing you with something out loud. What did your kid do? So I, one day, had, you know, splashed out and had my eyelashes tinted and they did my brows at the same time. You've got to treat yourself, don't you? You know, it's nothing special.

And, you know, I picked the kids up from school, drove them to swimming. My son sat in the front seat next to me the whole time. Got out at the pool. He took one look at me, and in his loudest voice possible, said to me, Oh, my God, what happened to your face?

Oh, no. Kids don't have a filter. That's the thing They just say It's much like Jono Jono and kids They just say What's in their brain I'd like to think

That I've had enough Of life experience That I'd hold myself back From going Catherine what happened To your face I remember we used to Work with Sharon

And you were like You looked like a character From Sesame Street That's what you used to do all day I used to get I used to be so surprised When she'd get her eyebrows done I was like Jono

You can't keep saying that She did She looked like ernie or something from sesame street that's right uh but katherine i love your work you go and keep dry in christchurch all right thank you thanks for your call appreciate we'll go to kati kati now sarah how are the kiwi fruits there local reference how's the kiwi fruit? Sarah? Oh, sorry. She's like,

she's like, yeah, I'm here. I just want to engage in your friendly kiwi fruit conversation. I thought you were recording thing of a tingle. No, mate, I was saying,

how's the kiwi fruit? I'm trying to keep you happy locally. We're avocado growers. Oh, yeah. Don't talk to her about keeping you free. You won't get any response. Avocado, though, that's another.

That's a whole other conversation. Sarah, loudmouth kids, what happened? Look, I was in town with my then 11-year-old a couple of years ago and it was a rainy day and we were going across the crossing, so huge town, kitty, kitty.

And we ran across the crossing because it was raining and we got to the other side and she said to me, Mum, don't run. I said, why not? And she said, you run like a fat person. Do you? I'm not going to ask. But how does a fat person run though?

Well, let's not a shame anyone. And so what did you say then? I said that wasn't a very nice thing to say and I feel like crying. I feel like crying for you. Shall we smokescreen this with some kiwifruit conversation? See, I only think more awkward than bringing up what your daughter said. Hey, Sarah, you're an absolute champion. We're going to send you something out, all right?

Awesome. Thanks, guys. I think we've got some new Hell Pizza to give out as well, I think. Hell Pizza, this lifetime and next. They're serving the best goddamn pizza, Ben. That's right. They are. Now delivering beer and wine as well.

You enjoy that. Thank you. The Hits. For more podcasts from The Hits Network, check out iHeartRadio.co.nz.