Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: Ben's Pomegranate Tea Incident..

Episode Date: March 13, 2023

We recall Ben's incident at a previous work place When have you had a bad work day?? The Oscars latest! When did you have to act! Cash n Car bribe winner! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the John Old Men Podcast. Thank you very much to Dilma, making the world a better tea. Do try it. Yeah, thanks to Dilma. I'm enjoying the green tea with the lemon and honey in the mornings. It's good. Your lemon-lime one is beautiful. Lemon-lime, sorry.

Yeah, it's really nice. The tea game's really branched out, isn't it? A lot of flavours now. Lots of different options. Almost as many as varieties of apples we have on the market. Yeah, there are a lot of apples. You're right, a lot of flavours now. Lots of different options. Almost as many as varieties of apples we have on the market. Yeah, there are a lot of apples. You're right, a lot of apple varieties. What is your favourite apple?

Oh, like a Royal Gala, I think. Old school. Yeah. I've got, I love a Pink Lady. Oh, yeah. Love me a Pink Lady. Sorry. What else do I like?

Oh, the Brayburn's not a bad apple. Yeah. Have you tried a lemonade apple before? No. It's kind of like a yellowy-greeny one, but it's reallyburn's not a bad apple? Have you tried a lemonade apple before? No. It's kind of like a yellowy-greeny one, but it's really nice. Just a good apple. But then apples, you can get bad apples. That's when it's disappointing, when you look forward to that apple.

I wasn't meant to be a gag. That was just like when you know you get it. When you think it's a delicious apple and it's flowery. There's no way of not really knowing, and it's flowery and yeah. There's no way of not really, really knowing unless it's really soft and squishy, but sometimes they're not. It seems to me like the Granny Smith's kind of taken a backseat in the apple game. It used to be a stock standard in the children's lunchbox, the green Granny Smith. Had a bit of twang to it. Yeah, I remember my nana, Sylvie.

She was a fan of the Granny Smith, but not a fan of the outside of the Granny Smith. And so she had to laboriously peel the whole. The green peel off. The green peel, right. I was like, she'd sit there repealing the whole thing right off and then eating it after that. You're like, Granny, is it worth the Granny Smith? Yeah, exactly. Sylvie is a beautiful old person name, eh?

Yeah. What other great old person names are there? Deirdre Joy was my other one Joy Jones was my other grandma Beatrice Harold You don't get many Harold babies being born nowadays It's one of those names that is great

For an older person But as a baby You one of those things, you're like, well, call him Harold. You're like, okay. But hey, people are doing that. It's kind of the trend now for some of those old-fashioned names to come back in for babies. Norma.

When you have a baby, if you have babies, producer Joel, you and Grace, I don't know if that's on the horizon. Not on the current horizon, but hey. Okay, when you do, Norma and Harold. Oh, Gene, wasn't that Marilyn Monroe's real name, Norma? Norma. Yeah.

They kind of go in popular waves, don't they, names? We've got a kind of weird, we had a passage there of naming them recycling bin and desktop table and things like that so they're going to be the old names and true 50 60 years time uh just looking at uh hugh grant he's uh like he's made a bit of news today uh being what what people are calling him a little bit rude a little bit frosty in an interview situation i mean he did the interview on the red car while the champagne carpet at the Oscars. Have you got the audio?

I've got some audio. There's a whole lot of it. Hugh Grant, you are a veteran of the Oscars, and you've been here a few times. What's your favorite thing about coming to the Oscars? Well, it's fascinating. The whole of humanity is here. It's Vanity Fair. What whole of humanity is here It's a

It's Vanity Fair What are you most excited to see tonight? To see? Yeah well I know that you probably Watched a few of the movies Are you excited to see anybody win? Do you have

Your hopes up for anyone? Not No one in particular I feel like The most excited thing for him to see Would be his front door When he gets home At the end of the night and he's like, oh, thank God I'm here.

You know, I feel like he's gone in with that sort of, you know. On the plus side, he didn't slap her. Well, yeah. You've got to look at the silver lining here. He didn't slap anyone. You're right. In terms of scandals at those awards ceremonies, he's got a pretty – Yeah, like –

But he's 62 years old. He's probably like, i'd rather be at home cup of tea with my wife norma and uh my friend harold it's just a nice tea uh wait with the greek try the dill my green tea watching the chase watching bradley yeah you could you're right uh kate hawks we put on her social media yesterday. Of course, her husband is Mike Hosking, saying that Hugh Grant reminded her a lot of Mike Hosking. I imagine too, once you would, and much like Hosking has been doing this job, he's been in the industry for decades.

As Hugh Grant in acting, you would get to an age, and clearly it's around about 60. I don't know if Hosking's quite, is he? I don't know. How old is 60 is he i don't know how old was husky i don't know it's it but uh i think he's that old but is he yeah 58 okay um well you'd just be you just take the industry for what it was you know you'd be like oh i've been to a thousand of these yeah fake conversations people who say they really happen to see me they're not and i imagine because the older you get the less tolerant you are of bullshit you know yeah and so he's probably hit that stage in life and that must be a very freeing

era yeah you're right he probably doesn't care that he was talking about him and saying yeah he's probably like yeah it was a little grumpy probably afterwards some poor person that was sort of working with him as a sort of media person go come on you you need to be come on mate for me just be a little bit more you know hello 20 year old i don't have to listen to you come on just you know a little bit acting mate you can do it really well just you know smile get out there you know he presented an award later on stage i think with annie mcdowell who uh was in the original four weddings and funeral with him and all smiles all great old, all chipper. And that's when he would come off. That's what

we want, Hugh. We want more of that, mate. Paint on a smile, mate. Put on some foundy, paint on a smile. Give the people what they want. Anyway, we'll be putting on a smile for the next 50 minutes in this podcast. Good segue. Enjoy.

Yesterday, the Oscars were on. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Yesterday, the Oscars were on. Everything, everywhere, all at once. Dominated the Academy Awards yesterday, taking home seven Oscars, including Best Picture. It was huge. So well done to that movie. But Jimmy Kimmel, the host,

obviously had to address Slapgate from last time with Will Smith, and I think he did a pretty good job. If anyone in this theatre commits an act of violence at any point during the show, you will be awarded the Oscar for Best Actor. Pretty funny Jimmy Kimmel, isn't he? It was like, yeah, you can also make a 19-minute speech, which they obviously let Will Smith do last year. And they had like a crisis team in there as well to make sure he

was safe as far as Jimmy Kimmel said What is an actual crisis team? Well I think it was more of a gag along the line he was like hey just do you guys just do what you did last year which was nothing because no one did anything when it all happened We're going to be crossing to Hollywood

Anyway, Enty, our Hollywood insider, he's got all the filth, all of the greasy filth from the Oscars. Apparently Adam Levine in The Misses.

Not good, man. Not good. He's going to spill all. Gee, some gossipy little thing, aren't you? You do love gossip,

eh? You really do. I do love it. Tell you what I also love too is learning new technology. And yesterday, Ben, just learnt about

Eurofay with the phone technology. Yeah, over the weekend, I told you about this 0.5. 0.5. 0.5 on your phone. So when you're doing a photo and you turn it towards yourself to take a self-indulgent selfie to post on Instagram, I like to do that, hit all the angles, you can put it on this 0.5 feature.

Hoo-wee! Make me look like Brad Pitt. Yeah, that's the thing. It's not that good. He's not a miracle worker. People do like it. I've heard a bit of talk about it recently. People that like it, they're like, oh, it makes me look skinny.

It basically looks like the camera lens're like, oh, it makes me look skinny. Oh, it makes me look, you know. It basically looks like the camera lens is sitting in space and it's a big wide shot, high angle. You're looking fantastic. It feels like, it looks like your arm when you're holding it

is extending 150 metres away. Yeah, it's a bit like that. But you would use it over the weekend because I told you about it and some other people were doing it

when we would do the odd selfie down at the rural games. But some people not on board with it. No, because I would just do it. watch other people were doing it when we were doing the odd selfie down at the rural games but some people not on board with it. No because I would just do it. Watch this, watch this. They'd go ugh. Can you take another odd normal one? I mean it's a novelty angle isn't it? Yeah. It's not your

stock standard rugby put your arms folded straight at the camera angle but a high angle and whenever you take a photo for someone, they always demand high angle, don't they? Yeah. So, mate, I like up the guts, mate.

Up the chins and everything. That's what I like to do. Now, a friend of mine, he is a parent at school, Ben. He wanted me to road test a joke with you. Okay. Which is selfie related, so it ties in. Is this friend you try to take a selfie in the shower this morning turns out i have selfie esteem issues your thoughts your thoughts it's i mean it's early in the morning

For comedy Yeah Is it too early in the morning For comedy Maybe a little bit We'll go to producer Joel What do you think mate That wasn't comedy

Sorry mate It was a You played the drums You played the drums Don't tell me those drums Are sarcastic I was meant to play This one sorry

The hits The Jono and Ben podcast. Just had to text, show us what the.5 feature looks like. The people are demanding it. They want to see visual evidence. We'll put it up on the Hits Breakfast Instagram. You can follow us on the Hits Breakfast. TikTok, are we on TikTok as well?

I don't know. The Hits is on TikTok. I don't know if the Hits Breakfast is on TikTok. Jono and Ben, we are. Yeah, we're on TikTok. You can check out our OnlyFans too. Some real spicy stuff from the Hits Breakfast team on there. They get yesterday cricket.

Another nail-biting match. I thought it was going to be all rained out and Christchurch between the Blackcaps and Sri Lanka. But in the end, it came down to the last ball. And we won on the final ball. It was absolute scenes. High drama. New Zealand need one.

Oh, it's missed. He's out. If he hits he's out, he's safe, oh double play, double play, we're going upstairs. Upstairs we go, do New Zealand win or is this a draw? They skimped it through. Oh he's safe. Oh he's home, he's safe. Yeah it was a run out and we needed the one run. Was it going to be out or not?

It wasn't out and we managed to scrape home for a win. She's really through the poor commentator. He was already halfway home. Yeah. So two tests in a row. Coming down to the last ball, which is pretty incredible. Do you think it's a ploy from the cricket industry to try and make the most boring form of sport, not even just cricket, but sport? Last ball. Which is pretty incredible. Do you think it's a ploy from the cricket industry? Maybe.

To try and make the most boring form of sport, not even just cricket, but sport in general, to just try and make it a little bit exciting. Yeah, no, you're probably right. Let's all leave it down to the last ball. Make it all exciting. And they'll play that clip on the news and it'll be high. Never mind the four other days.

What went on for the four other days? You commentated about it. Yeah, I commentated a day. To be honest, it was a real hard yak. it was like oh this is you know twice i've done that i've commentated days of just like oh this is battle battle and then i missed out on the fun last day where it all comes down to the end of like on the acc yeah the alternate commentary collective but yeah so i've but they get the fun they the fun. So are you saying you want to be scheduled on a fun day? Yeah, why not?

Of test cricket. And which day is that? Well, obviously right near the end. Just schedule me on for the final 10 minutes. Yeah. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Things going all right for the Labour Party, according to the latest poll last night.

You can't deny the hippo, our dear friend Chippy. Chris Hipkins? Chris Hipkins. Chris Hipkins. Just call him by his proper name. He's the Prime Minister, for God's sake. He's done a good job. Like even Heather Duplessy-Allen

on Newstalk ZB. She's a big hater of the Labour Party. She's like, mate, can't deny it. Chris Hipkins, he's done a great job. Yeah, a bit of a drop for National. Again, another rise for the Labour Party. She's like, mate, can't deny it. Hipkins, he's done a great job. Yeah, a bit of a drop for National. Again, another rise for the Labour Party. And, you know, if

they teamed up, according to this poll, I mean, it's a poll that's a long way through the election, but they teamed up with Greens and the Māori Party that have enough to govern, again, according to the latest poll. Oh, there we go. So, yeah, we'll see what happens before then. But right now, we're going to look at iconic things that have happened, like music, yeah, we'll see what happens before then. But right now we're going to look at things, iconic things that have happened, like music, quotes,

and we need to guess what year they happened in. And I'm not good at this game, but it's fun to play. Well, because all the year, you kind of have vague recollections of when years attach to certain moments in your life. Like, you know, if a song was playing, like I like to associate, oh, that song was playing when I was practising Pashing on My Pillow last week very good I'm getting better better I'll be happy to know good me and that pillow formed a very special bond

but producer Joel you run this we step back we just got to guess the year yes we do so we're starting off with this iconic movie which won the most Oscars of all time. It was Titanic. What year was that? I'm going to lock in 1996. 99. Prior. 1997. Well, do I take a point there? Not really.

When was the original Titanic? I was on that trip, actually. Pashing his pillow in the cabin. It was a original Titanic. I was on that trip, actually. Pashing his pillow in the cabin. It was a bit weird. Get off the ship. You're like... Yeah, I actually got kicked off the ship before it sank

for inappropriate behaviour with a pillow. And I was like, mate, Leo's painting old mate naked and I'm getting kicked off the ship for thrusting against a pillow? Jeez. Okay, what's the next one, Joel? So the Breakers, they are in the final this week.

What year was this iconic moment from your dear friend Andrew Mulligan? For the win! Pandemonium! Absolute scene! It was like we all laugh and mock him for that little bit of commentary But it was pandemonium And it was absolute scenes There were a few championships there

That was a buzzer beater wasn't it Because I was watching it online the other day Oh jeez is that their first win That was their fourth win in five years And I haven't won since 2003 I'd say a few years ago. 2018.

Both wrong. 2015. Oh, Jesus. 2003. Were they even playing basketball in 2003? The basketball was playing. I was also practically bashing on my basketball, actually. This one might be more in your wheelhouse than John.

It's fun, but it's hard. It's difficult Yeah I've been thinking about Iconic New Zealand ads And this is probably One of the most iconic ones What year was this?

We met the kid From that ad From the original ad Remember And he was all Growing up In a bed In a job

He was like Yeah I was the kid On the bus You know That's right Where did we meet him? Just down the road Outside Sky City That's right. Where did we meet him? Just down the road outside Sky City, I think. That's right.

I don't think he was in Sky City. He was working around one of the tourist attractions around there. Now, connecting this to events that have taken part in our life, this ad was on at the same time, the very first year we started Jono and Ben, because we did a parody of the ad launching the TV show. So if we work back from there. 1993. I had it been around for a little bit before we did this.

Yeah, yeah. Okay, so I'm going to lock in 2015 for the Mitre 10 ad. Okay, so 2010. 2008. 2008? So we're very late on the parody game. We're about four or five years late. Well, that ad is finished. I don't think the kid had grown up by the time we'd done the parody game. We were about four or five years later. Well, that ad is finished.

I don't think the kid had grown up by the time we'd done the parody of it. But at least everyone knew about the ad. No music section today. Last one for the music section, obviously Will Smith, who's been the talk of the town after the Oscars one-year anniversary.

And what year was this number one on this day? 97, I'm going to say. When was he getting jiggered? 95. 98. Oh, no one got one correct, but you were closest for the last one, so you take that one out. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

Yesterday we were talking about the longest time that you haven't been to the dentist, and Martin, wow, what a call. The last time I went to the dentist was 1980. 1980. Well, that's a while ago. What was that, 40-something years ago? How many teeth have you lost, Martin? Oh, most of them now.

And do you think you should, like, do you regret not going to the dentist or are you like, no, no, save some money? Oh, I just never wanted to go. I didn't have any issues with my teeth. Well. I pull them out every now and again. You have to pull them out every now and again. No, yeah.

Do you pull them out yourself? Do you, Martin? Yeah, I just pull them out. With what? Your hands? With a pair of pliers. Oh, shit. Martin.

Wow, Mario. What a legend. Martin. Wow. Far out. What a legend. Usually pretty bloody loose by then anyway. So Martin employing a bit of mafia style torture to remove his teeth and do

his dental work. I'm surprised he doesn't use Sally's No More Gaps to do fillings and things on his teeth. But amazing. And you know,

many stories came through on 4487 after that. And, Mary, we called you back. You're on the phone. How long has it been since you've gone to the dentist? 1995. Wow. So what we're talking like 25 years.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's actually even a bit more, I must say. What are we talking? I shouldn't have just said that. I'll just chuck out a number there. 95, 2005 is 10, 28 years. Yeah.

And your teeth, what state are they in? They're really good. I've got really good teeth. I was just traumatised from primary school dental nurses in the late 70s. And they just scared the bejesus out of me, and then the thought of going to a dentist, I was so scared until I had to have my wisdom teeth out.

They really didn't think about the long-lasting impact it would have on the children back then, those dental nurses. Oh, that cheer and that light that was shining your eyes. Oh, it was just horrific. So when I had to have my wisdom teeth out, I had the option of having them out under a general. I had no idea what was going on. Knock me out, thank you very much.

What would I have to pay you to go to the dentist? Oh, no way. I would have to be, I mean, I would obviously go if I got an infection or, you know, an abscess or something. I would go. But I just brush my teeth like three or four times a day and floss and there's no way I'm going back. $50,000.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Well, you don't have $50,000. Oh, my God. That's a toughie. $50,000. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. It's a toughie. $50,000. We don't have $50,000 to give away for this. What is this? Pay you to go to the dentist? That's a tough decision. I don't know.

I would have to really think about that. Okay, we'll get Mary's decision next. Thanks so much. We don't have the money. Righty-ho. Alright, Mary. You keep's decision next. It's not, we don't have the money. Righty-ho. All right, Mary. You keep safe, mate. Lovely to hear from you.

Oh, yeah. Well, I'm off to brush my teeth. Okay, see you, buddy. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. It's after 7 o'clock. A really fun thing we do each morning at the moment. Dilmar dates. If you've got an anniversary, a wedding, a birthday, whatever it is you want to celebrate,

if you want to give a shout shout out to someone on the radio, something special is happening today. Text us right now, 4487. Tell us what's going on, who you'd like us to shout out to, and we could be hooking them up as well as shouting them out on the radio with $100 in a Del Marti prize pack. Albert Einstein's birthday. Albert Einstein's birthday today, did you know?

I did not. He'll be 145, which is not that old. Only 145? Only 145. Really? Geez, he gave zero craps about his hair, eh, Einstein? He did. He really was focusing on his theories of...

Oh, fair enough. Yeah, yeah. I mean, he had other stuff going on. Running some product through the hair is the last thing on his mind. Hey, next, we're going to head to Hollywood. Enty is our Hollywood insider. Adam Levine from Maroon 5 and his wife having a barney at an after party

he's got the inside word The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast Spilling the tea on Hollywood's A-listers. Kardashians. I have met every single one. Exposing scandals She's not a good person but either is he Digging the dirt. Is she a diva? Yes. And finding out

what's going on behind the scenes. Yelling at cast members. Yes. Itging the dirt. Is she a diva? Yes. And finding out what's going on behind the scenes. Yelling at cast members. Yes. It was a script. No. His identity is a secret. But his stories have been proven right time and time again. This is NT.

He's got all the hot gossip, the cold gossip in the room, temperature gossip. NT, come on down from Hollywood. How are you? I'm great. How are you? We're doing well. You'll be Oscarars hangover? What inside filth have we got from the parties?

What's going on there, mate? You know, it's funny. There's not a ton that's... One of the things that I found interesting, there was... Well, Hottie Prinsloo and Adam Levine, they were not getting along. Is this his wife and him? Yeah, yeah. Oh!

And it was... They were at the the vanity fair after party you know usually a couple will fake it for the red carpet and smile and like pretend that they're you know happy but let me tell you that even on on the carpet at that party they were they were not feeling it and inside the party, the two of them were not getting along. I think all those affair rumors and all that stuff, perhaps things have not healed between the two of them. Frosty. That would be awkward.

If you had a Barney before you had to roll up to the red carpet, I'd see the smile. Smile, buttercup, smile. Actually, speaking of the red carpet, it wasn't even a red carpet this year. It was a champagne carpet. What's going on with that yeah you know and here's what i don't understand there was a lot of white on the

champagne carpet and remember it's not champagne unless you're in france it's sparkling wine the but yes the the clients were all wearing white because they were thinking about the contrast with the red carpet it made for a very drab red carpet just because of the fact that it was like, nobody could stop talking about the carpet and then nothing really popped except for the people that happened to wear color. I think the red carpet does sort of hide a lot of alcohol spills and stains and stuff like that.

Quite risky going with a sort of champagne colored carpet. Yeah, and it won't be back next year, so whatever they spent on it, never see you again. Bye. You'd be bloody wanting to get the rug doctor out on that thing, wouldn't you? The problem for me, and this is just purely as a spectator of the Oscars, certainly not an expert by any stretch,

you're coming off Smackdown the year before. Hell of an event. And to even come close to that in terms of talking with the wider population, I think it was always going to be a struggle. Yeah. You know, I mean, there weren't a lot of storylines that were really just going to be gripping. I think a lot of people didn't realize that Jimmy Kimmel was hosting.

You know, I saw a lot of reactions that his monologue wasn't that great. I thought it was just fine. But that's all it was. It was just fine. And maybe that's all you needed. But, you know, he talked about it briefly. It felt very okay. Let's just, it felt very corporate.

Like if you're going to go to some kind of corporate event and you don't want to make anybody too mad, you don't want to make anybody too happy, I'm here to get my paycheck. You guys, you know, enjoy. Go sell your vacuum cleaners later. You know, it felt very corporate. You just described our radio show.

We don't want to make anyone too mad, but we don't want to make anyone too happy either. You can just sit in the middle somewhere. We did see Kimmel's opening sketch, which was very funny, where he had the actors of Top Gun. And we thought that was incredible. Yeah, it is. But Top Gun, no Tom Cruise. No, yeah, no Tom Cruise there. Did he not go?

Apparently it was scheduling difficulties. He had to convince the people to join Scientology. I think Mission Impossible, but then someone was saying, I was reading in an article, isn't he like the boss of Mission Impossible? Surely he could schedule himself a day off. He is the boss of Mission Impossible. They are not filming Mission Impossible right now. Number two, he was in town for like the Oscar lunches and stuff.

But what was different from the Oscar lunches and the brunches and stuff like that is that Nicole Kidman was not at any of those, but she was at the Oscars. Do they not get along? I don't think that they necessarily get along. I think that the other awkward situation is that if you go and you talk about Scientology, is he allowed to interact with her? Like I said before, it's not a very big venue. There's not very many people who attend. And that's the other thing. Think about all the A-listers that weren't there. Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, Julia Roberts, all these people. If you're not nominated, you don't go because there's just not room. If you're not a presenter, you just don't go. I mean, I just named some of the

biggest movie stars in the world and they were not there. So Tom Cruise will run into Nicole Kidman. Think about all the cameras that are there. If there's any kind of bad interaction, if there's any frown, any smirk, anything like that, you know, the cameras are going to pick up on it. And so he doesn't want to have that kind of publicity. It is shocking to me that a producer of a Best Picture nominee, because he was a producer of Top Gun, was not there.

Did he think he was going to win? No, he's not stupid. But, you know, to not be there for your movie that you produced, a little bit odd. Although James Cameron wasn't there either. Yeah, wasn't he? Oh Jimmy, well he lives in New Zealand it's a bloody long flight ain't he? This has been really interesting

it has been, yeah. Appreciate your time this morning mate, you're going to have a wonderful week Hey you too you guys Christopher Luxon, leader of the National Party just tested positive for COVID it seems to be going around a little bit but I think it's always going to be kind of around. Just plough on, Luxo. Just don't tell anyone.

Just keep going. Just keep going. We were having that conversation over the weekend. All of us were like, if we get it, we're ploughing on. No one's saying a word. We said that. And a lot of people are employing that. I don't know if it's the right thing to do if you're in the government, that's for sure.

But yeah, so it's seven days at home, isn't it? If you've got it, your family's all good to go out and about. Yeah, yeah. All the household's all good to go out and about. Worst day at work. This is what we want this morning on 0800-THE-HITS-4487. Your worst day at work. I was talking to a friend of mine.

She's a physiotherapist. And last month, she was doing physiotherapy on a gentleman and uh he shared with her the details of his extramarital affair oh geez he was having and i mean i tell you what if you can't if you can't share your intimate details of your torrid affair with your physiotherapist who can you share them with? Yeah. So he was kind of like, and she felt it was more of like a therapeutic way of getting it off his chest. Right.

Releasing the toxins from the muscles as well as releasing the toxins from his heart. From his soul. Yeah. Or maybe he just saw therapist in the word physiotherapy and thought that'll do. So anyway, told her that. And so she was like, oh, just took it on board and didn't think anything more of it.

He returns a couple of weeks later for his follow-up appointment and she's doing physiotherapy on him again and she's like, oh, hey, how's the affair going? Because you did mention when you told me that you're having an affair that you had planned to tell your wife and leave your wife. Wow, they really got in deep like a bat's arching. And so she said, oh, have you told your wife what's the situation now? Just casual conversation.

He's sort of tense. She can feel his body tense up. Parts of his muscles really clinging up. And what she didn't realize is his wife had accompanied him to the physiotherapy appointment and was waiting just outside the door in the reception area. She here. Well, she just heard the door open and slam shut. He's like, uh-oh.

So she's exposed his affair to the wife. He hasn't got round to telling the wife, clearly. It's on his to-do list, but he hadn't quite got there. There's some other stuff I need to get done. Sort out these kinks in my thighs first. Yeah, he'd come back for a follow-up on that, but he hadn't followed through on the other thing. And she was just like, this is the worst day at work ever.

And she used to touch strangers for a living every day. Wow. Anyway, he wasn't too annoyed. He was like, listen, to be honest, I need to do it. And what a way to find out. Through a strange physiotherapist who has no connection to the family. Wow. And so apparently she called him because she felt terrible.

And he was like, listen, went home. Basically all my stuff was packed and I had to go. But he's like, I'm glad it's done. Move on. And that's how she exposed an affair at work. That's a bad day at the office. That's a terrible day at the office. So that's all we wanted at work. That's a bad day at the office. That's a terrible day at the office. So that's what we wanted to know this morning.

Your worst day at the office. A bad day at the office. What happened to you? 0800 the hits 4487. I mean, that's where we started. I don't know if we could beat that. I must share the tale of you and your pomegranate tea and the radio equipment. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

It's Lady Gaga, poker face. It is The Hits. She got Jono and Ben 717.'s Lady Gaga, poker face. It is The Hits. She got Jono and Ben 717. I mentioned before she performed on stage at the Oscars yesterday, but also helped out a photographer who fell over on the, I was going to say red carpet, but it was actually a champagne carpet at the Oscars, but fell over and she rushed back to help the guy out,

which was pretty cool. She was like, hold my hand, hold my hand. She lifts him up. If she had said that, it would have been so good. Wouldn't that be good? Oh, man. She lifts him up. If she had said that, it would have been so good. Wouldn't that be good? Oh, what a lovely lady, Lady Gaga is. Bad day at work.

Just talking about my friend, physiotherapist, accidentally exposed one of her client's affairs in front of his wife while she was massaging him. All's well that ends well. Well, I mean, he's left.

The wife's probably not entirely happy with the situation but uh she got a worst at work chalk up on the board that one and ben i was just thinking about this remember we were just finishing up at the rock radio station okay this was on our second to last day you pick it up here with your pomegranate tea. Yeah, I was drinking a herbal tea, which, you know, at the Rock Radio, well, it probably sums up me perfectly. You drank it for relaxation purposes. And as you say, we just said that we're leaving the job. Things were a little bit like, oh, okay, a little awkward around the place.

And then I knocked the tea in the studio, and it went all through the very expensive equipment at the radio station. And things weren't great technically and also things weren't great work-wise in the environment after that. I'm no technical expert, but I don't know if pomegranate tea is great for wires and plugs and things underneath the desk. And it was there last week at work. And thankfully it was, because if not, you would have been fired anyway. Fiona, we'll get you on from Auckland. bad day at the office what happened to you um i just submitted my notice to leave the job about the week a week before um was at work left and i woke up the next morning

with a horrible feeling i'd left a tap on um and i got to work and sure enough, I had left a tap on and I flooded the whole of downstairs with the showroom and then the workshop. And the floor had only just been laid about four weeks before. How was the leaving morning tea? Fortunately for me, the boss was absolutely bloody awesome. And I offered to pay for, for you know the excess on the insurance and what have you but she was really cool about it oh luckily yeah she was always love a bloody insurance job don't we thank you very much for your call fiona really appreciate it have a good day guys you too mate katie what happened bad day So we had a technician that we used to call a part-timer

because we always just have time off for one reason or another. That's why we call Ben around here. But on this particular day, he emailed in to the service manager and said that he couldn't come into work today because he had hemorrhoids attached to a photo of his butt crack. The hemorrhoids attached. Oh a photo of his butt crack with the hemorrhoids attached. Oh, your phone was cutting out about there, but I'm just piecing it together. This part-time worker, he said, I can't make it into the office today.

I've got hemorrhoids. And he attached a photo with the hemorrhoids. A photo? A photo of his butt crack with the hemorrhoids. Yeah, and I mean, you do want evidence. Well, I guess maybe you were like, is he telling the truth? So you're right.

How did that photo go down? Oh, it got forwarded to my manager and we obviously got shown around and the guys actually know it as pretty legendary. So for doing so, because I mean, there's not enough mind bleach that can help you to delete that photo. Not enough mind bleach.

And I'm just, but how could you confirm it was actually his posterior? Oh, because you could kind of see his hands on his cheeks spreading his butt wide. And that was all the evidence you needed. It's a bad day in the office for everyone, really, isn't it? Pretty much was. Honestly, it was a bit of a, what the hell are we just seeing?

We don't want to see that. So, yeah. I expect the same thorough level of explanation when you have the day off. All right. That is amazing. I really appreciate your call. Have a good one. You too.

Thanks, guys. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Not great news at the supermarkets at the moment. I reckon prices got up 10% higher compared to a year ago. Whew, cost a living. Jono and Ben, celebrate your special date with Dilmar. Yeah, thanks, our mates at Dilmar. We do this every morning.

We celebrate your special day, whether it's your anniversary, your birthday, whatever it is, we give shout-outs as well. We also reflect on the day, and it's the 14th of March, not May. Yeah, I made a fatal mistake yesterday where we covered a lot of stuff from the 13th of May. But we'll look forward to that when May rolls around again. Then we never did it, right? But it's Learn About Butterflies Day.

So they're a thing. Yeah. And you can learn about them. Pie Day. Not steak and cheese or mince and cheese. Oh, like the mass equation. The circumference of the circle. The 3.14 business.

It's also potato chip day. So it's pie and potato chip day, which potentially could mean that tomorrow is National Heart Attack Day. Yeah. Michael Caine, the English actor, author. You'll know him from things like Batman. He's got a great voice. He was born in 1933 on this

day and he even did an impression of Michael Kane. Have a listen. My name is Michael Kane. That was his impression of himself. Our friend Dan, he works on The Edge. He could do a wonderful impression of Michael Kane, which I think over the years got him exactly zero

girlfriends. Albert Einstein, it would have been his birthday, but he was still alive, born in 1879. 143 years old. We're talking about his hair. Really gave zero worries about his hair maintenance, Einstein, but he was quite busy working on the theory of relativity, so we'll let him go on that one.

As well as that, getting jiggy with it. Will Smith, a lot of talk about the Oscars yesterday. He had a hit on this day in 1998. Great song. That was when we all loved him. Yeah. He was getting jiggy with it. Happy birthday, 95th birthday today to Marjorie Rollay.

Lots of love from your family and friends. 95 years old. It's awesome. Has Marjorie listened to the show? I hope so. Marjorieie if you are please call us oh 800 that's 59th birthday to nicky gemmel lots of love from becks a happy eighth anniversary to quinton and natasha today happy uh happy anniversary guys

shanna henson it's your birthday and annalise says have a great day uh happy birthday to william homegrown he's got a homegrown over the weekend So enjoy that And we're going to go through to today's $100 winner In the Dilmar Tea Price Pack His name is Callum, here we go Hello, can I speak? Oh, Callum It's Jono and Ben here from The Hits, mate, how are you? Bloody good

It's Pitbull and Ben Affleck Well, thank you You're not too bad yourself Bloody good. It's Pitbull and Ben Affleck. Well, thank you. You're not too bad yourself. We've got our little pet names for each other, don't we, Callum? That's right. Now, we understand it's a very special day in the household, in the Casa del Callum.

I might have said something about that last night, yeah. What's going on today? It's three years since we've been together, me and my partner today, Phoebe. Oh, hand us over. Oh, she's only just alive. Don't make excuses. We need to talk to a tired Phoebe.

Okay, we can, I guess, yeah. Yeah, no, she's hiding under a blanket actually you don't sound confident about handing the phone over I feel like yeah dinner's not going to go

too well tonight if that's the case fair enough okay alright well we're going to hook you up with $100 so you can spend

it on something for your anniversary and a Doolmart tea price pack oh cool thanks guys that's awesome I was thinking

we'll go to Little Savannah I think you went there the other day I did actually, yeah, they do like a fiery cocktail too as well $100 will probably just pay for that Are you in Palmerston North? Yes, yes, we met the other day

in Cafe Cuba Oh, did you work for the council? Yes Ah, Callum Well Callum, listen, I'm a little suspicious that Phoebe doesn't exist. I haven't heard from her, but we're going to give you $100

and a Dilmar pack anyway, my friend. I'll take it and I'll let you do an inquiry later, eh? Yeah, alright, we'll launch one. You have a great day and happy anniversary. Alright, likewise, guys. Thank you very much. Dilmar dates back in tomorrow. You can text us 4487. If you've got a date you want to give a shout out to tomorrow.

The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. Yesterday was the Oscars. The Academy Awards happened in Hollywood, in Los Angeles. Everything, everywhere, all at once dominated the Academy Awards, taking home seven Oscars, including Best Picture yesterday. Haven't seen that yet. It does look good.

Yeah. Do you know that I was reading an article on it yesterday, the Academy Awards. 13.5 inches, the actual Oscar award. Oh, the Oscars. That's a lot of inches. Yeah. Isn't it? I got a whole one on a studio tour that, yeah, an actual genuine Oscar was for Best Animation

or something they had on the studio tour in Hollywood. I got to hold it. And I was like, this seems, I feel like I shouldn't be holding it. Well, you're never going to hold one ever again. No, true. So you may as well take it. Were they heavy or what? Yeah, it was actually quite heavy.

Yeah. It was definitely quite weighty as well. I'm not trying to fat shame Oscar there. But, you know, it was a little weighty. If you fell upon tough times, do you think you'd sell it? If you ever won an Oscar, would you head down to Cash Converters or the bloody Gold House opposite the casino here? Yeah, you could do that.

Would you hock it off? Yeah, why not? You personally. Oh, well, you'd like to keep it. I mean, it feels like it'd be one of, if I ever did win an Oscar, which I'm not going to, as you just pointed out, I feel like it would be one of the last things

that I'd want to sell. So you'd sell your family before the Oscar? Probably, yeah, let's be honest. It's Hollywood. Jimmy Kimmel was the host of the Oscars and obviously he had to address the elephant in the room regarding Will Smith and Slapgate.

If anyone in this theatre commits an act of violence at any point during the show, you will be awarded the Oscar for Best Actor. And also he said you can also have like a 19-minute speech as well, which they let Will Smith do last year. Hugh Grant.

Now, this was one of our favourite Oscar moments because he was on the champagne carpet, as they had this year. They didn't have a red carpet for the first time because champagne was meant to invoke a feeling of joy and something else. Yeah, well, whatever. Some consultant got paid a lot of money to come up with that. But Hugh Grant did not seem like he wanted to be there.

Hugh Grant, you are a veteran of the Oscars, and you've been here a few times. What's your favourite thing about coming to the Oscars? Well, it's fascinating. It's the whole of humanity is here. It's Vanity Fair. What are you most excited to see tonight? To see?

Yeah, well, I know that you probably watched a few of the movies. Are you excited to see anybody win? Do you have your hopes up for anyone? Not, no one in particular. There we go, Hugh Grant slowly losing the will to live. Yeah.

And that was rich, good looking people win awards. Very cool that Wellington's Weta was up for, well actually won Best Visual Effects for Avatar,

The Way of the Water. So congratulations to the team out of Wellington. Oh, we're getting the music. We're getting the music. Producer Joel. I've almost got to thank a whole lot more people

but there's no time. Dare to dream, everyone. And he was going to apologise to his family, saying he would sell them before getting rid of his Oscar. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Check it out. The Hits. Five words for five pink tickets.

Match all five words to see Pink live in New Zealand in 2024. Yeah, Pink coming to New Zealand March next year, Dunedin and Auckland on her summer carnival tour, the world tour, and you could win five Pink tickets if you go all the way to five words and win it today on five words. 90 million records she's sold. Makes her one of the highest selling artists of all time,

Pink and Sally. And Fitianga, you could be going to see her with four friends and or family. Oh, that sounds fantastic. Or bidders who have paid the most for the tickets that you've won. Now, Sally, you are a school teacher.

Are you striking on Thursday? I will be striking on Thursday. Good on you. Yeah. We've got to get the most for the kids, and that's one of the ways we have to do it, unfortunately. Yeah. Well, it gets results, doesn't it?

I think everyone understands. Yeah, totally. Now, who do you want to send into the soundproof booth? I'm going to send Jono in this morning. Okay, well, fun fact, my skin complexion is pink, so I think this is a match made in heaven. All right, when he gets in there and he can't hear us. Yeah, fingers crossed.

He is in there now. Okay, what pops into your head, Sally? When I say Eiffel, Eiffel. Tower. Eiffel Tower. Apology is word number two. Apology. Sorry.

Sorry. Hopefully, John, I won't have to say any of those things to you afterwards. Litter. L-I-T- those things to you afterwards. Litter. L-I-T-T-E-R. Litter. Rubbish. Rubbish. Forest is word number four.

Forest. Trees. Trees with an S, yeah? And monopoly is the final word. Monopoly. Ooh, I love to play Monopoly deal, but does Jono. Monopoly. I'll say deal.

Okay, all right, deal. It's a fun version of the game. All right, we'll get him back out of the soundproof booth, and we'll see how we go matching up five words. He's back. I'm back, Sally. Yes. Missed you.

You too, Jono. All right, let's do it. Let's win you some cash and pink tickets, okay? Okay, I'm in for it. All right. Word one, $25 cash. First word I said to Sally was Eiffel. Eiffel Tower.

Yeah, well done. You've got $25. I guess we're going on to $50. Oh, yeah. Word two, Tower. Yeah, well done. You've got $25. I guess we're going on to $50. Oh, yeah. Word two, $50 cash. Apology. Apology. You'd say sorry.

And you'd be correct. Well done. Sally, we are rolling on through the... Keep it going, Tony. Keep going. Word three, $100 cash. $100 word. We've risked the $50

For this Litter Is the word litter Rubbish Yes $100 Sally what's going on now Oh yeah

We've got to go for the five Okay She's not going to need To strike on Thursday If she keeps going Word four $500 cash Forest

Forest I go Woods $500 cash. Forest. Forest. I'd go woods. Sally. Oh, wow. It wasn't even a tricky one. I was thinking like woods from the trees. What did you say?

Well, woods from the trees. She said trees. The other option. Yeah. Yeah, that was a good option. And Monopoly was the final one. Monopoly Man? Oh, Monopoly Deal was what Sally went with. Sally, very close, but not quite there today.

But thank you so much for playing. Oh, thank you for the opportunity. Have a good day. And good luck Thursday, mate. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. What are the black caps? Yesterday, very exciting finish to that cricket test. The last ball again.

Kane Williamson for the Blackcaps seeing us home. Stop trying to make test cricket sound exciting. It was exciting. I mean, the four days leading up to that, you know. But the last day, whew, that last couple of overs. Now I want to bring something to the floor here. And it was something that took place. Producer Joel, he found himself in an interesting

situation which I'd like you to explain and then I want to I want to give you my thoughts yeah well it was back when I was a young buck about 18 months ago I was an intern around the office I don't know why I told you this story because I knew it'd probably come up on air but um what's your theory don't tell John anything you don't want to end up on the radio yeah so I was on Instagram and I was like oh I didn't realize I followed this person who works in the same building as us, upstairs, different floor. And then I accidentally went onto her account and I was like, oh, this is the person I thought. And I was just talking to a mate of mine.

And then I was like, oh, I've liked a photo from hers from about a year ago. Now, this is my thing. What's the problem with liking a photo from a year ago? Where's the... Well, it can come across as stalking, I think. A bit stalkerish. Like, why are you digesting photos that I posted from a year ago? And the time that I went to go and like it,

she clearly didn't follow me back. And then she came and had followed me back in the meantime. Because of it. So she popped up, oh, Joel Harrison likes this old photo and now she started following you. Yeah, and it's someone I've never talked to her in person before, but yeah, at the time I was sitting kind of close to them as well, so there was a lot of head down awkward situations.

Save it for HR, mate. So when Ben goes back and likes my bikini shots from 2020 And he's like I'm just supportive I'm supportive of those shots Love your sandcastles mate I know you're talking about the two that I built in the competition Is that the

It's not the dumb thing Well I don't I mean I don't Look hey None of us are experts on social media But I do feel like you know Delving back deep into someone's archives And then liking something

But why It sends a message I mean it does. But why? It sends a message. I mean, it does send a particular, potentially sends a message. Is it like looking through someone's bedroom window when they're sleeping at night? Is that the real life equivalent? But you're right. These people will put it up there for people to have a look. It just feels a little, I don't know, a little odd.

Okay, what's worse on the internet? Being Andrew Tate. Andrew Tate. Or liking a sunbathing shot in 10 years. Andrew Tate. Because I've looked at the 10 worst things that you can do on the internet being Andrew Tate or liking a sunbathing shot in 10 years. Because I've looked at the 10 worst things that you can do on the internet and I'm gathering you put this under the cyber stalking

umbrella? Well yeah it's not quite full cyber stalking but it can give that connotation right? Well this is number 2 on the list of the worst things you can do on the internet. It's a head of purchasing black market organs on the dark web. What is this one? This is this act on the list of the worst things you could do on the internet. It's a head of purchasing black market organs on the dark web. What is this one? This is this act of liking old photos.

Oh, really? It's worse than spreading hate speech. No way. On the list of the top eight. So, Joel Harrison, I'm looking at you in a completely different light now. And listen, a message. If you don't want anyone perving at you on social media, just lose your hair and turn 41 years old,

and you'll be safe and sound. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. The Hits Cash and Car. We've got a brand new Skoda. We've got a whole heap of cash in the back of that car. Only one person knows how much cash is stashed in the back of that Skoda. If you can guess exactly how much is in there, then you'll win the cash in the back of that car. Only one person knows how much cash is stashed in the back of that Skoda. If you can guess exactly how much is in there, then you'll win the cash in the car.

Now, I don't know if you read the T's and C's, but Ben, if by the end of this week the car hasn't been won, or the cash hasn't been won, then you and me, we get to go halves in the vehicle. Oh, great. So, it'll be a spreadsheet arrangement. You can have the car Monday through Friday, and like a divorced dad, I can have the car Monday through Friday and like a divorced

dad, I'll have the car on the weekend and school holidays. Alright, well Cash Keeper Joel, he's normally producer Joel, but now he's Cash Keeper Joel in his new role. You've been doing a good job Joel. I mean, a lot of us did not have faith that you could. I didn't. No, you had no faith. You were saying it a lot.

You were saying it out loud to Joel's face. Caroline, we'll get you on. Welcome. How are you? Good. Thank you very much. You've been following the old sea in the sea? Sort of.

Most of the way. Yeah, good on you. And times are tough, mate. What would this money and car mean to you? Oh, it'd be lovely to have something for myself after a couple of years of not working. And having, you know, just my space. Well, it couldn't go to a more deserving person. Do you know 40,000 calls a day coming through to Cash & Car?

Wow. Jeez, the phone lines are under tension. Poor old Spark. Spark's starting to lose its spark with the amount of calls we're getting through. But we're going to hand you over to producer Cash Keeper Joel, sorry, and you can have your guess, Caroline. Thank you very much. Caroline from Palmerston North, what did you guess for the amount of money that's in the back of the

Shkodakamik Monte Carlo? $20,405.20 $20,405.20 $20,405.20 All last week, I was offering people bribes and no one has taken any. And I have another offer for you right now, Caroline. Oh, no. $600 to trade your guests in right now.

Are you keen for it? $600, all yours. Very tempting, but I'd really like the car. $700. Definitely the car, sorry. Final offer, $750. Are you going to take it, Caroline, or do you want to enter your guess of $20,405.20?

I might take the bribe, thank you. You want the bribe? Yep. Perfect, $750 is all yours. Thank you very much. Caroline! She drove a hard bargain. You were like, nope, nope, nope, nope,

and then $750 tips you across the line. Fleeced me. That sounds amazing. I don't know if I've got the exact right number. Well, we'll never know unless someone else says the exact number because we don't get to find out right now if you're higher or lower, if you're correct. So that could be the winning amount. It could be the winning amount.

But hey, congratulations. $750 is all yours, Caroline. Thank you very much. Make it up front. That was high tension. Wow. It's like when you squeak your shoe on the floor and it sounds like you've passed wind and then you try and recreate it and you can't.

And it's that amount of tension that we just heard right there. 11 o'clock. Cash and Car is back and then obviously this afternoon too with Brazza and Lazza in the afternoon well done Joel well done Caroline Thank you so much for hanging out with us

just watching you were just watching some wild footage of someone driving down the footpath not at extreme pace in Auckland but they were driving only about 70km an hour or something

but no but it was driving on the foot 70km an hour or something. But no, it was driving on the footpath like it was a road, so very unusual. And taking a left turn, yeah. I'm sorry, it's just a quick away home. I can see you, you know, the things, your little shortcuts that you do, you're driving through

fruit shops and all sorts, aren't you? You get wound up, don't you? I'll take 39 different back roads to get to our location cutting through the supermarket car parks and every wash world drive through a washing bay you'll do it all actually speaking of driving friends of mine were out over the weekend i was actually with them but they were telling me the story that they were um they were out and they did a few drinks enjoying the night and one of our friends was like i will order the uber they were all standing out the road she got a phone put in the details and all that and they're waiting and

they're like how far away is the thing she's oh not far away not far away and they're like waiting for quite some time then like can we have a look at it because she'd been having a few drinks and then she showed everyone her uber proudly and what she realized she just put the destination into her maps and she she hadn't into her maps and she hadn't even gone to the Uber app or anything. To Google Maps. To Google Maps, put in the destination as well and was sitting there with that, waiting for that to arrive.

They're like, hey, well, this is not going to do anything. This is just the location we need to get to. We need to enter that into the Uber app. It's a good thing to show someone if you're incoherent, though. Just put your map there. That's where I need to go. This is where I'd like to go. Can you do the heavy lifting?

One thing I love about producer Joel, getting a lot of airtime this morning, Joel, is almost 100% of every Monday he will come in and go, oh, soiled an Uber on the weekend. Apparently I soiled an Uber. I don't think it was me. There's a constant theme coming through every weekend yeah i didn't saw an uber this time someone who i was it was in my uber uh spilled a frozen coconut which uh constitutes the same amount of money for a cleaning fee but um when you say soil an uber it's really got other

connotations it does but a lot of time it's just spillage i feel like you should if you're gonna go eat something you should go probably eat in the location where the food is prepared rather than taking it into the Uber. I don't know. Often after a few drinks on a Friday night, those thoughts don't go through your head when you're eating your Maccas and your four frozen Cokes. So what's the idea?

Is it to try and eat in the Uber or eat it when you get home? Or is there no thought going into any of this? Look, there wasn't a lot of thought process going on behind the scenes here, but yeah, frozen Coke in the back of the Uber or eat it when you get home or is there no thought going into any of this? Look, there wasn't a lot of thought process going on behind the scenes here but yeah, frozen Coke in the back of the Uber. Took my jumper off

and cleaned it up though but apparently still not enough cleaning. Well no, that's not enough cleaning. Taking your jumper off. I've reported it to Uber and I will hear back.

Hopefully they refund me. He's got about 17 open cases going. Soilage cases going with Uber at the moment. I had a shocker too once I jumped in an Uber. We've mentioned this a couple of times before. You love banter.

Is this the banter one? Yeah, this is the banter one. So I got in and I asked the driver. How's your day? How's your day going? Busy day? What time you knock off? That sort of thing.

Oh, COVID looks like it's blowing up. You know, we had a good five minutes. And then I was like, what's your greatest fear? And I was meaning his longest trip. Most of fear is an F-A-R-E, like the fear that they would take. And he really missed the memo. He opened up. He was an open book, this Uber driver.

And he's like, my greatest fear is losing my entire family. And you're like, oh. Yeah, it was like a travelling therapy van going down the motorway at 100 k's an hour. But to be fair, like, in my defence, when you're in an Uber and you've just met the gentleman

and you've gone, what's your greatest fear? I'm not assuming I'm gone full Dr. Phil. Zero to 100, open up to me. Pour your heart out. No, you're thinking more about Auckland to, you know, Rolleston or something like that. I'll tell you what my greatest fear was.

My greatest fear was being trapped inside an Uber with a guy pouring his heart out to me about his family losing their lives. The hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. The Oscars were yesterday and Jimmy Kimmel, he was the host over there and he had a lot of fun around the fact that last year at the Oscars, there was a much publicised slap with Will Smith and Rock, and there was plenty of jokes to be made. If anyone in this theater commits an act of violence at any point during the show, you will be awarded the Oscar for Best Actor

and permitted to give a 19-minute long speech. No, but seriously, the Academy has a crisis team in place. If anything unpredictable or violent happens during the ceremony, just do what you did last year. Nothing. It was very good. Yeah, that was great. We wanted to award your greatest performances. You know, the professionals, they've had their night, haven't they?

They've strutted down their white-coloured carpet, been their pretentious white-coloured carpet. Champagne carpet. And they've been given their awards for their craft, and well done, fair play to them. But now it's to the people. The battlers. Now, every day, the world's greatest performances are taking place every day.

You're all having to pull an act on at some point, aren't you? And sometimes, you know, no one will even know, apart from yourself, that you're acting. You know? And you'll be like, afterwards, you're like, I really nailed that performance. I pretended I loved that pair of board shorts

that Auntie Carol had given me. You know? That go halfway down my calves. Yeah, yeah. But she thought I loved them. And everyone else thought I loved them, but secretly I hate them. You know, those sorts of performances.

So our apologies to Auntie Carol. Keep the gifts coming, babes. Yeah, I loved them. I loved them. So, yeah, we want to award everyday performances. Now, Joel, I think we've got some Academy-type music there somewhere and some applause. And, for example, whenever anyone is giving me any form of instructions,

anything, I pull off the most convincing performance that i am listening to them and digesting them when really i've taken none of it you've lost me on the second the second step and my wife we had a trades person come over the other day and the tradie was giving me instructions on how to control some sort of pin pad for the HRV system. And he was going, yeah, this, this, this, this, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the whole time my wife,

she had to come in at the end, she's like, he's taken in none of what you've said. You're going to need to relay it to me. So I'd like to award myself for most convincing person, performance of a person pretending to listen.

Thank you. Well done. So that's how it works. Just give us a call right now, 100 The Hits or 4487. Tell us when you've done a great bit of acting. Can I do a group award, actually? Okay. The three of us here, producer B Humps, you and myself.

We've all been nominated. We've all been nominated. What did we get nominated for? Something happened a few months back where someone was going to another radio station okay they were leaving to an opposition radio station and the three of us all knew but we weren't meant to know word had got around someone else knew right yeah somewhere along the line i was put in the position where it was okay for me to know i was allowed to know ben you weren't allowed to know and producing b hubs he was still in the camp of not being me to know. I was allowed to know. Ben, you weren't allowed to know. And producer B-Hubs, he was still in the camp

of not being allowed to know. He was in a meeting with this particular person and then they said, hey, I've got some news. Just so you know, I'm going to an opposition radio station. Producer B-Hubs, wonderful performance. Really? I did. I had honestly no idea.

He put on an Oscar-worthy display. And then they came back with, oh, because I've been told that you already knew from someone. And then he had to gearshift the performance to, oh, oh, into a man pretending to have amnesia. And he's like, I've completely forgotten that. Oh, yeah, into a man pretending to have amnesia. And he's like, I've completely forgotten that. Oh, yeah, that's nice. What a great performance. Oscar worthy. All right.

So under the hits, nominate yourself for your greatest acting performances in real life. And we'll award you with an Oscar next. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. The Oscars were on yesterday and everything everywhere everywhere, all at once was the big winner winning big picture and a whole lot of other awards as well. So congratulations to everyone involved in that. Brendan Fraser, didn't he put on...

He won Best Actor as well for The Whale. Michelle Yeoh, she was the first Asian actor to win Best Actor as well. So congratulations. Well done, everybody. And well done for that wonderful coverage too there, Ben Boyce, of the Academy Awards. And now, because the actors have had their night, we are awarding the Everyday Actors for their greatest performances.

Sarah! Hello, John O'Bien! How's it going? Yeah, it's good. Thank you. We're talking about your greatest performance. What was it? Oh! Good. Thank you. We're talking about your greatest performance. What was it? Oh.

Yeah. When I was in England working, we'd had Prince William come into the restaurant because he was there nearby at an army base with his army mates and trying to have some chill out time. Yeah, it was great. He was on a break then from Kate, so myself and the other waitresses were also a bit excited about that.

Oh, right, you were circling. The sharks were circling. Yeah, I know. That's right. I'm a bit old for him, but you know. But you know, hey. You never know. You never know.

No, that's right. Who knows? But no, I didn't have a chance there just to clarify that. Anyway. That horse had molded. Yeah. I know. You know, these things happen.

I won't take it personally. And then, yeah, and he actually came in a couple of times over a couple of weeks. And then the media got onto it somehow. I think at least they do, especially in England. And they just started coming in during the day at any random point and just coming up to us and asking us. And there was this one journalist, and I just felt like she could see through me.

I've never been so proud of my lying. And she just kept asking, oh, but no, we've heard that he's been here, and can you tell me anything? And she just wouldn't leave and then we were just instructed every morning, right, if they turn up, don't tell them. Right, so I see.

Your performance was pretending that William had not been in the premises. That's right. That's all it is. We're going to present you for the Oscar for Best Performance in Pretending to Not Know, Prince William. Oh, man.

I'm a bit of rock. Not really. You know, no, look, I'm really, thank you. It's nice to be acknowledged. It's nice to be acknowledged. Were you acknowledged by William? Did you ever chat with him? I did but actually

he was so nice I mean I don't know he probably puts it on to people but honestly he was lovely he came up and he you know

just shake our hands and just would you know and ask what our names were and where we're from and he said he loved New Zealand and Oh

melting our hearts Yeah I think we're too, and he said he loved New Zealand. Oh, melting our hearts. Yeah. I think we're too old for him too, unfortunately. What did he eat? What did he order? Oh, yes, bangers and mash and garlic bread. I think the thing that got me, he was beautiful mash, but I've never seen anyone sit so straight, the posture.

And he's a long back anyway, but, you know, it's like you could see he'd been trained. No, from an early age. Wow. It was almost just, I felt like, hey, mate, you can have a slouch if you want. But all of the other army guys, they were just sitting around, you know, and swearing and things, and he was just sort of sitting there just looking like, yeah, the future king, really. What were the takeaways?

Bangers, mash, garlic, the future king, really. What were the takeaways? Bangers, mash, garlic bread, great, great cuisine, and also very long back, fantastic posture. Yes, and nice, and not cracking on to waitresses, even though we're single. Even though they were trying to crack on to him. That's right. Hey, well, lovely to hear from you. You have a great day. Thank you. See you, mate. You too. Okay's right. Take that away. Lovely to hear from you. Have a great

day. Thank you. See you, mate. You too. Okay, bye. The hits,

the Jono and Ben podcast. The Oscars were on yesterday and everything, everywhere, all at once

was the big winner winning big picture and a whole lot of other awards as well. So congratulations to everyone involved

in that. Brendan Fraser, didn't he put on He won best actor as well for The Whale. Michelle Yeoh won... She was the first Asian actor to win Best Actor as well, so congratulations.

Well done, everybody, and well done for that wonderful coverage to their Ben Boyce of the Academy Awards. And now, because the actors have had their night, we are awarding the Everyday Actors for their greatest performances. Sarah! Hello, John, how are you?

How's it going? Yeah, it's good. Thank you. We're talking about your greatest performance. What was it? Oh, yeah. When I was in England working, we'd had Prince William come into the restaurant because he was there nearby at an army base with his army mates and trying to have some chill-out time.

Yeah, it was great. He was on a break then from Kate, so myself and the other waitresses were also a bit excited about that. Oh, right, you were circling. The sharks were circling. Yeah, I know. That's right. I'm a bit old for him, but, you know. But you know, Kate., I know. That's right. I'm a bit old for them, but you know.

But you know, hey. You never know. You never know. No, that's right. Who knows? But no, I didn't have a chance there, just to clarify that. Anyway. That horse had bolted.

Yeah. I know. You know, these things happen. I won't take it personally. And then, yeah, and he actually came in a couple of times over a couple of weeks and then the media got onto it somehow, I think at least they do, especially in England, and they just started coming in during the day at any random point and just coming up to us and asking us.

And there was this one journalist and I just felt like she could see through me. Yeah, I've never been so proud of my lying. And she just kept asking, oh, but no, we've heard that he's been here, and can you tell me anything? And she just wouldn't leave, and then we were just instructed every morning, right, if they turn up, don't tell them. Right, so your performance was pretending that William had not been in the premises.

That's right. That's all it is. We're going to present you for the Oscar for best performance in Pretending to Not Know, Prince William. No, look, I'm really, thank you. It's nice to be acknowledged. It's nice to be acknowledged. It's nice to be acknowledged. Were you acknowledged by William?

Did you ever chat with him? I did, but actually, yes, he was so nice. I mean, I don't know if he probably puts it on to people, but honestly, he was lovely. He came up and he offered to shake our hands and just would ask what our names were and where we're from. And he said he loved New Zealand. Oh, melting our hearts.

Yeah. I think we're too old for him too, unfortunately. What did he eat? What did he order? Oh, yes. Bangers and mash and garlic bread. I think the thing that got me, he was beautiful mash, but I've never seen anyone sit so straight, the posture.

And he's a long back anyway, but, you know, it's like you could see he'd been trained, no, from an early age. Wow. It was almost just, I felt like, hey, mate, you can have a slouch if you want, but all of the other army guys, they were just sitting around, you know, and swearing and things, and he was just sort of sitting there, just looking like, yeah, the future king, really. What were the takeaways?

Bangers, mash, garlic, bread, great, great cuisine. And also very long back, fantastic posture. Yes, and nice, and not cracking on to waitresses, even though he's single. Even though they were trying to crack on to him. That's right. It's dignity. Well, lovely to hear from you. Have a great day.

Thank you. See you, mate. You too. Okay, bye.