Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: Birthing Suite Banter!

Episode Date: September 26, 2021

Today on the show we talked Birthing Suite Banter... AKA, what was the weird thing that happened in your birthing suite? Was it as strange as someone giving birth in a Chewbacca mask? We had some people call up with some amazing stories! Finally, Jono has disappointed Ben's 9-year-old Indie YET AGAIN with his potty mouth! All that and more, enjoy!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Kia ora, it's the 27th of September. It's Jonathan here, Benjamin. I'm joined by my cohort, colleague and friend and acquaintance, Benjamin Boyce. Welcome. Yeah, good to be here.

I'm a little bit preoccupied. Sorry, podcast audience, because I've got this thing that's come up on my computer saying my connection's not private. Always scares you, right? It won't let me go onto anything on the internet. Nothing at all. So your computer's like NSFW, mate. Anything you want to do, not safe for this work environment.

No, nothing is safe at all. Outdated security configuration, it says. But any site I go into, they're like, mm-mm-mm. And I've even tried twice restarting. Twice. Oh, right. Have you logged off? Oh, no, you've done all this.

Why am I chiming in like some sort of fucking Wi-Fi expert when I'm not? But, yeah, that's frustrating, isn't it? It's moments like these you realise how much our lives depend on technology and the internet. Yeah, the internet has got us by the short and curlies. Yeah, you're right. It really does, doesn't it? Yeah. You name one thing.

Building. Oh, no, you can't do that without the internet. Wouldn't be able to order supplies. Phone. That's on the internet, though. Well, name something better then. Something better that plays into the example I'm trying to... Game of sport.

Couldn't do that without the internet. You wouldn't know the rules. No, well, back in the day they they did it with quite clearly you're sabotaging my example that I was going to hammer home how important the internet is to our daily lives name one more thing then picnic

well you wouldn't be able to go and check if the weather's good for your picnic you're just really taking in a gamble aren't you yeah just going oh it looks nice. I might hold out for the afternoon. Should we go and have a picnic? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's not a gamble I want to take when I'm heading out with some sandwiches. No, fair enough. Yeah, but it is important to the life, isn't it, the internet? I tell you what, doing a radio show would be a lot harder without the internet. Wouldn't it? Yeah. Jeez, I've been doing this too long. I used to do a radio show without the internet.

Yeah. Far out. God, I've been doing this too long. I used to do a radio show without the internet. Yeah. Far out. God, I've been doing this too long. Without the internet. That sounds like an old man thing. Do you know we used to have to just make the words we talked out of our mouth we weren't reading from the internet? Well, I've been doing this with my daughters, actually.

We've been doing, like, it's device-free weekend where they're not allowed on their devices all weekend. And then we're like... That would have gone down like a... It's actually, like, at first they're like, on their devices all weekend and then we're like... That would have gone down like a... It's actually like at first they're like, but then actually they end up playing and doing all sorts of things they'd never do if they were just like

stuck behind their device. Do you put your device down? No. I love going up to them too and going, hey see ya, check this out. I hold my phone up and I was like ah, she looked at her device. She's in trouble. Oh, so you're there. You're there parading around with your devices. You're on your computer, your phone.

Why have you banished them? They play really well. That's great for them. They get out, they do stuff outside, so it's great. What are you doing? It's so good for them. I reduce my device time. To what?

But, mate, I'm going to look up the weather for the picnic and stuff we're going to do. And the building supplies. And to play the sport. How will you know the rules? How would I get? Like, I couldn't. I'm going to get lost on Instagram and things like this, you know? Those are important.

We were talking about that this morning. God, that's just a whole of just time wasting. They're called baby's time wasters. Put the baby down and pick up Instagram. Yeah. That will waste your time. That is a time waste. You actually have to physically go, what am I doing?

You have to have that conversation with yourself. Yeah, sometimes, hey, it's like TikTok, all those things. You're like, I'll just get into a... Why am I watching a volcano explode in Bolivia with lions coming out of it someone's photoshopped in? Like, why? Yeah. Why is this consuming my day?

And I'm just new to the gram and my life is far more far more far more rewarding i'm fine but now i'm just shut off from my family don't even know if i've got a family anymore no i just look at instagram reels but yeah it is a yeah it's your best friend and can be your worst enemy at the same time. Yeah, it's probably the greatest and the worst invention all rolled into one. Yeah. You know, you look at the pros and the cons of the internet. They probably balance each other out.

There's a amount of horrible stuff on the internet too. Can't get around that, mate. Yeah. I mean, half of it's written about you, mate. Well, I can't get on. Can't log on at the moment, thank goodness. Connections profit. Maybe the computer's factoring in your feelings. Go nuts, get on. Can't log on at the moment, thank goodness. Connections, private. Maybe the computer's factoring in your feelings.

Go nuts, Davey. You don't need it on a Monday. Enjoy the podcast. We're going to open up the lines, banter from the birthing suite right now because there's one story that's come across our desk. I always love it when you say come across our desk. It makes you seem like you're a lot more professional

than we actually are. It hasn't come across my desk yet. makes you seem like you're a lot more professional than we actually are. I haven't come across my desk yet. No, we don't even have a desk here at work. I just made a desk up. Like we don't, honestly. No, and I just said it's come across it. So doesn't that make us sound hoity-toity? But something that came across your desk, Ben Boyce.

Yeah, well, this is from a birthing suite. They're not entirely sure what country it happened, but it seemed like a woman lost a bet with her husband and had to wear a Chewbacca Star Wars mask, one of those masks that makes the Chewbacca noise during the birth. Have a listen to this. So this is her birthing the child. This is her in labour, yeah.

Her in labour, and she's making the noises as you normally would, but wearing a Chewbacca mask. Surely she's already lost the bet. She's the one who has to deliver the child. Yeah. Is there any more losing a bet than... Not the first time that's happened. Apparently it happened a few years ago in America as well.

Another couple did the same thing. So there you go. Random, random way to... Like, the poor baby when it comes out. Very confused. The baby's already traumatised. Put me back where I came from, please. There was a story that came across my desk, actually, over the weekend

about a gentleman while his wife was in labour was playing Xbox. So he'd taken his Xbox along to the hospital and plugged it into the TV in the room. Here's her response. So I'm going to labour tonight and my boyfriend's doing this. Babe, why did you bring your Xbox? Babe, one game I promise. Just one game I promise. Oh my God.

Oh my goodness. Now, so if that was me, I don't think Jen would be saying, Babe, why did you bring your Xbox? I don't know if babe would be the word. Should be chucking out. So just one more game I promise. Just play NBA 2K, babe. Hold on, babe. I don't know if babe would be the word. Should be chucking out. So just one more game, I promise. Just play NBA 2K, babe.

Hold on, babe. Yeah, true. Yeah, so, but listen, I'm going to get roasted for it, saying this. No, don't. When you go into those situations, as the guy, Julie, you haven't been there yet. No. You know, there's a lot of waiting around, you know,

and they just put you in like a lazy boy recliner and you're sitting there. And rightfully so, all the attention and care should be on the mother. Absolutely. No question. But, you know, there's a lot of thumb twiddling. So bringing in an Xbox is like, on the surface, it looks shocking, but really logistically,

what else was he going to be doing? He's there. Supporting his partner. He's supporting. He's in the room. He's not supporting if he's buried in the game. I'm sure if he had, I thought it was all systems go, but I'll save this and I'll come back to it later.

He's there. Hang on, I'm up to a good part. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a second. I'm just about to upgrade to LeBron James. Can you hold this for a second? So we wanted to open up banter from the birthing suite this morning, didn't we Ben Boyce? I remember going through it, especially the first time

very, like a full on experience and nothing really prepares you, I mean you go through antenatal classes but nothing prepares you for what could possibly happen because every birth's different. We had a lot of complications with Sienna, our first born and I remember just a lot of conversations going on between the doctors and the nurses and whisper stuff.

You're like, what's going on? You know, you're trying to listen to what's going on. It's like when two colleagues are gossiping. What is that? What is that? And there was a machine in the corner of the room that kept beeping, and it was like, there's not a good noise. And then someone would quietly just go turn it.

You know, you're like, please tell me. Please tell me what's going on. You know, that was very, you know, and then we had to go for an emergency C-section not long after that. But that was just a very traumatic experience. I can imagine you two. What's he saying? Amanda, what's he saying about us?

Amanda, is he talking about me? Does he not like my show? What's going on? I know. Yeah, I'm already on edge at the best of times. But yeah, I just remember that being very, very. It is a surreal environment, isn't it? It feels like you're watching yourself from an, it's an outer body sort of experience, isn't it? Yeah, it's a good way of describing it.

So let's do this. 0800 The Hits. Bander from the birthing suite. The funnier, the better. Little mishaps, you know, little lols. Did you slap a Darth Vader mask on? The expectant mother. 0800 The Hits is the telephone number. 4487. We've got some prizes for the best calls this morning. Love to hear from you.

Give us a call. 0800 The Hits. You're essential listening for non-essential banter. I thought I was saying something meaningful there, then I backed out. John Owen Penn, New Zealand Breakfast. Katie Perry, she gave birth to little baby Daisy Dove Bloom August

last year, and we're talking about Tales of the Birthing Suite. Man, that's weird that you know the exact birth date of her child from a year ago. No, I obviously Googled it during the song. I was like, oh, that's right. Katy Perry, she's a mum. She is a mum with Orlando Bloom.

That's right. Yeah, what a cute name too. Daisy Dove Bloom. Yeah. Wouldn't get a cuter name than that, I tell you. So, Tales from the Birthing Suite, Birthing Banter, 0800, that's telephone number 4487. You mentioned the birthing. Were you friends with people from your birth class, the practice class?

Yeah, I got mates with a couple of them, yeah, and they're still today. Yeah. Doesn't prepare you for game day, does it? No, I don't think anything quite prepares you for that, right? No. I like it. A lot of people do become very good friends in those groups, don't they? A lot of people.

But when you think about it and strip it back, you're like, well, the only thing we have in common is that we all bumped bellies around about the same the same time my wife amanda really really enjoyed that you know catching up with people because you know in that environment after giving birth you know having people going through the same stages as you was a big thing i think the support was really really helpful did you have to go along to awkward guys having drinks? Nah. Can't imagine you would have turned up. I don't think it was sparked up, though.

It was just a few of us individually were like, oh, let's just catch up or whatever, but yeah. Oh, did you break away from the main group? Did you? Oh, right.

I don't know if it was sanctioned or not. I just decided, you know. Formed your own little party. Okay. And other people got excluded? They didn't make the cut? Oh, no. It wasn't like it was just like

three or four. It was just one-on-one. They were like, you, we'll catch up. I don't like the others, but I like you. I didn't like the others. They're all great people. Okay, I'll wait under the heads. Let's go to the phone, shall we?

G'day, Emily. Welcome from Tadanaki. Banter from the birthing suite. What have you got? All right. So while I was giving birth to my son, my phone wouldn't stop ringing. It would just keep going, going, going.

So then eventually afterwards, it rang again, and I answered it. And it was the New Zealand police that had multiple reports of my vehicle speeding and overtaking on double yellow lines, and they wanted to know the reason behind it. And was it your husband speeding to hospital it was indeed and it was and he wasn't going too bad he was probably 120 most of the way but then we got stuck behind a guy through some corners and he decided he was going to go like 40k and my husband was like nope i'm going to overtake you double yellow lines uh off duty

cops or and um yeah there's multiple reports and and they're like, oh, is there a reason? I was like, I literally just gave birth to my son, and the lady was like, oh, okay, congratulations. Have a good day. Good excuse, too. Good excuse. There we go. It was like a Formula One race for you heading to hospital. I love that, Emily.

Thank you very much for your call. Christy, you're on from Christchurch banting, birthing banter from the birth suite. What do you got? Yeah, well, my husband didn't actually get kicked out from it. He actually took it over. So once he saw the tools,

I was in for cesarean, so coming out the sunroof, and he saw the tools, saw me down. I was laid out, you know, not moving, epidural in full force. Once he saw the tools called me down i was laid out you know not moving epidural in full force once he saw it he went straight down and once he passed out i had anesthetists nurses everyone all surrounded around him i laid there once i took care of him set up a little comfortable chair so he was nice and comfy got wet towels and they had to reset the entire birthing suite so he couldn't say anything and i continued on to have a few more cesareans after that

and every time they had to reset and stage it up so he was okay you're like gary you're always making it about yourself yeah it feels like one of those instances there would have been a little bit of contention at the time but enough, I have water under the bridge now You can get it on the radio Good on you Christy Such a great call Love your call, really appreciate it Rhonda, welcome Rhonda from Pukakohe

How are you? Good morning, how are you? We're doing well Rhondie Just giving you a nickname Don't know if that was necessary But it's Banda from the birthing suite What have you got? So it was a pretty long labor

This was about 12 hours in And and I decided I'd had enough. Take me to the hospital. So I went up the motorway, got off, stuck at the lights. Lights are red. I'm having a massive contraction, and my husband's telling me off. Don't do that. Stop it. You look like a dick.

People are looking at us. Holy moly. That's so rough. You're like, I can't help it. You're drawing attention to yourself. My Kiwis don't like anyone staring. No, no, very New Zealand response. We went down once we got to the hospital like the other lady. Yeah, well, there you go, Rhonda. Thank you very much. Appreciate it. Thank you for not being a dick on the hospital like the other lady. Yeah, that's, well, there you go, Rhonda. Thank you very much.

Appreciate it. Thank you for not being a dick on the radio as well, Reid. Appreciate you. Stayed in your lane there. Wonderful stuff. Hey, well, thank you for your calls and texts. That was fun. That was so good.

It's Maroon 5. You're on the hits. Jono and Ben hanging out with you guys on a Monday. Now, I've talked a few times about my nine-year-old daughter, Indy. She's very responsible. She's like a middle-aged lady in a nine-year-old's body. She's very responsible, which worries me a bit that when she gets to teenage years, she's going to rebel.

She's going to unload like a volcano. You can tell it's coming. You're bracing yourself, aren't you? You're almost trying to put cigarettes in her mouth now just to get it out of the way. Here, try this. Have you tried vaping? All the kids are doing it. It's cool.

But now I'm loving it. She's very responsible. And she's often said she will never say a bad word in her life. She's like, I'll never swear. I'll never say a bad word. And I'm like, well, you're probably going to. But I love the fact that she's going to stick to it. I mean, maybe she won't.

They're big claims. But she vehemently, that's what she believes. She's not going to ever say a swear word. And she takes herself stick to it. I mean, maybe she won't. They're big claims. But she vehemently, that's what she believes. She's not going to ever say a swear word. And she takes herself off to bed at 7.30 at night. She's got a big day tomorrow, got some stuff to do. She's tired. Yeah, she does. Now, you tried to get her to swear once on the radio.

She wouldn't. She refused to. But then you stitched her up in the edit a few months ago. Oh, yeah, I beeped out words to make it sound like she was swearing. She didn't hear this go to air at the time though, did she? No, I played it to her later and she was mortified that you did this to her. This is you?

Yes, it is me. Yes. Can you just do that? Oh, Andy! Oh no! How could you? You were my friend. Anything else you want to say, Andy! Jono! How could you? You were my friend. Anything else you want to say, Andy?

Um... No, not again! Again! Keeps going! When will it start? Jono! So what's your reaction now? Shocked face.

Shocked face. I'm offended. You're lost for words do you have any bad words you want to say back to Jono no no good I thought that was maybe her opportunity to say a bad word for the first time

but she didn't at a young age she's been introduced to the hard truths of being double crossed in the edit we all have to learn it at some point how is the celebrities on celebrityity Treasure Island, doesn't it? Yeah, I didn't say that. Yeah. But, you know, it's been a tumultuous relationship

with Indy and myself over the years, hasn't it? And I feel like she's a disappointed mother. She's so upset she can't even be angry. Oh, no. Well, she's even more disappointed now, too. Oh, what's going on now? Well, because our new TV show, Jono and Ben, Good Sports, it's on 8 o'clock Thursday nights on TVNZ2.

And much to Indy's shock and much to my shock, to be honest, as well, there was the occasional, like there's not much bad words, not many bad words across the series, but there was... Most of the bad words are Ben saying there's not much bad words. Yeah, grammatically incorrect. So there's hardly any, to be honest, but there was occasional ones And we, the two of us actually presumed They'd be beeped, but for some mad dog reason

TVNZ are like, ah no, you're fine Yeah, they said it's protocol It's protocol to leave swear words in That's like, yeah So anyway, we watched the show the other night And I think it was one occasion That you said a bad word oh no she's going to be let down again by me

just watching the show with Indians I could feel you know when you feel someone's looking at you like their heads are turned around did she side eye you? she turned around looking at me like not saying anything but in her head like what was that?

you never told me there was going to be any blasphemy in this programme. So I went and talked to her after the show and recorded her, and here's what she had to say. So, Indy, did you like the new TV show? Yes, I loved it. It was very good. Oh, OK, what didn't you like about it, though? You didn't tell me that there were swear words in it. I didn't actually know there was going to be swear words in it.

Well, Jono said the F word. Jono did, yeah. He's a bit of a potty mouth, isn't he? Yes. Are you more disappointed with Jono now than before? Yes, very. Yeah. Yeah, well, to be honest, it took everyone by surprise, didn't it?

It took us by surprise as well. We didn't even know they were going to be in there. But, yeah, hey, so we're all shocked. I'm with her on this one. Yeah, I feel that too. It was a fair assumption from us at 8 o'clock on a Thursday night That they'd be beamed out Yeah

You know Juliette were you taken back by them? Yes I was And especially in the first episode I was like okay All good TVNZ will learn Second episode

I was like wait what? It's still there Come on TVNZ Come on None of us want them there Indie Ben Juliette

Me We're all trying to be like Trying to make a show That kids can watch And families can watch Yeah So yeah we're all shocked maybe john i just shouldn't swear and there wouldn't be an issue in the first place here we go yeah well yeah you're right actually that would be the one thing that would solve this whole problem i'm putting all this blame on other people when it came out of my mouth One thing you do need to know though is who's telling the truth and who's telling a lie.

We've got two people on the phone right now and we honestly don't know which is the truth and which is a lie. We've got to work it out together. It's a lie. I really enjoy this game because you always end up talking to someone quite interesting. Let's kick it off with Maureen. What is your statement today, Maureen? My statement is I've been struck by lightning three times. Jeez. Okay. Well, in what time

frame has this taken place? Oh, over about a year. Over a year you got hit by lightning? So in 12 months, three lightning strikes. Does that sound like it's a year? You got hit by lightning? So in 12 months, three lightning strikes. Does that sound like it's a lie? Well, it does. That's pretty unbelievable. And you're still around talking.

That's incredible. Incredibly, are you a lucky or an unlucky person, would you say, in life in general? Oh, pretty lucky, I think. Pretty lucky. You've got to be pretty lucky to survive it. Were you hospitalised? No. Okay.

Don't say, like, no. I mean, you've been hit by lightning. Yeah. Wow. Okay, so Maureen, who in a year was hit by lightning three times. Okay, that sounds unbelievable. I just want to guess just quickly before you put Maureen on hold. What are the chances of being struck by lightning?

Oh, that's a good Google search. 300,000 to one. Chances of being struck three times in one year. Yeah, okay. That's better than Lotto. Okay, Maureen. All right. Okay, you're on the line there, Maureen.

Thank you so much for that. That's incredible. Okay. And David, welcome to Liar Liar. Your statement. G'day, guys. I burnt my family house down when I was younger. Well, that's believable.

Yeah. How? So we have one of those beautiful open fireplaces you get in those old homes, and I took it upon myself to try and toast the marshmallows. Obviously, it was before dinner time because I heard Mum come in, appealed it, and when I heard Mum come in and one of the sticks actually caught fire and then caught the rug on fire,

and there you go, half disappeared. A lot of good detail in this. Ben Boyce, you would share an affiliation with us. He almost burned down his entire school with a wonderful Michael Jackson performance. I don't know if you'd do it in this. Ben Bush, you would share an affiliation with us. He almost burned down his entire school with a wonderful Michael Jackson performance. I don't know if you'd do it in 2021. Burn the school and the Michael Jackson performance. Definitely not.

I let off some, I wanted to really go out with a bang and let off some fireworks in my dance routine. Well, Michael Jackson had pyrotechnics, didn't he? But that was not a good idea on a gym floor so I know you're paying. I didn't quite burn down the gym floor. We saved it, but jeez.

But it's all the lacquer on the floor, isn't it? Yeah. Okay, well, there we go. These are our two statements today. We have Maureen, who is claiming wildly she's been struck by lightning three times in one year. And David, who claims he burnt down the family home toasting marshmallows. Now it's over to you, Aotearoa. 4487, Which one is lying?

Which one is telling the truth? We'll be back with them next. That is what I lie to you. Sorry. No, it's a TV show, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is Liar Liar. Yeah, it's pretty similar, to be honest.

We'll just change the name. That's where we ripped it off from. Have we just been caught out in a huge plagiarism case? Potentially. I think so. Have we just taken a format and a huge plagiarism case? Potentially. I think so. Have we just taken a format and given it a different name? Maybe. No, we haven't, and I'm definitely lying right now.

We have two people on the phone. One's lying, one is telling the truth. Quickly, we'll recap. Maureen, your statement was? My statement was, I've been struck by lightning three times. In one year, which seems unfathomable. And David, you claimed? I burnt my family house down when I was young.

Now, we've been talking. We've been giving each other knowing looks and eyes. I don't know. Are you just giving me a little? I don't know. Is something going to happen between us, Ben? Maybe. If I play my cards right.

We feel that David, the detail was too good. He was roasting marshmallows at family home. Mum came in, stick burnt the rug. There was a lot of details to make up for a lie. Yeah, so it feels like, David,

you're telling the truth. Are you telling the truth? I am lying. Oh, you're lying! Oh, what? All right, well, David, you're off. You're too good a liar. You're off.

Yeah, be very concerned if you're one of David's loved ones. He's been lying to you probably for quite a long time. Jeez, you're lying. Oh, what? All right, well, David, you're off. You're too good a liar. You're off. Yeah, be very concerned if you're one of David's loved ones. He's been lying to you probably for quite a long time. Jeez, all right. Probably even lying when he says he loves you. You wouldn't know. Hey, David, love your work. Thank you. Hey, love you guys.

Thanks. Which means Maureen. You're telling the truth. No, but I thought David was even more believable. I did too. Yeah. And Maureen's Maureen. She's like, I was telling the truth.

You've been struck by lightning three times in one year. Yeah, guys, the third time was only getting the lightning blew the handpiece of the phone I was using out of my hand. Whether you claim that or not, I don't know. But yeah, three times. Have you learned not to go

outside in a thunderstorm? How has this taken place? People have learned not to come near me in a thunderstorm. So all in the same location, different locations? I mean, how did it all happen? Yeah, the first two times were in my house at home, and the third time when the phone got blown out of my hand was at the neighbour's place up the road.

Wow. So, yeah, pretty scary at the time, and first time did a little bit of damage but still here to tell the tale guys. And this was over 12 months? Yeah, we get a bit of lightning because we're in a little valley, quite tight valley and so yeah, up in the mountains and yeah, we get a lot of storms come through so yeah, pretty high risk area I guess. We've just been told by our producer Bee Humps, on the show

that you're Maureen Pugh, you're an MP for the National Party. Yeah, I just guess I'm lucky all round, aren't I? Oh, Maureen! Now, they tell us you're going to roll Judith. Don't lie to us, you've only lied to us once. As you've learned, guys, I do not tell lies. No, that's right. And we won't go into that right now.

But Maureen, this is an incredible, what does it feel like to be struck by lightning? What does your body feel? Look, to be perfectly honest, I didn't actually feel it because it goes straight through you, but it did affect me afterwards. The first time, you know, when I literally shot lightning

out the end of my hand in an explosion, but my arm went quite dead after a couple of hours and then my brain just kind of turned to mush for six weeks. I couldn't think. Yeah, I got a pretty severe electric shock treatment. Did they take you to hospital after that? No, because I was going out for dinner and you you don't turn down an opportunity to go out for a free meal you were struck by lightning

and you're like oh we've got a 7 30 appointment better not miss that now and so when you say that the lightning came out of your fingers like a sort of a member of the avengers which is does it burst the end of your of your finger or no it didn't. That time it didn't. The second time it actually did. It came out the end of my thumb, on the other hand. So I actually did end up with a burn mark on the end of my thumb where it obviously came out. I imagine a lot of it's like, what just happened?

Yeah. Would probably be your initial... Stunned mullet. Yeah. Yeah, and I had people in the house both times, and they were a bit wary of me, because nobody wanted to come and make sure I was okay. So you were inside?

Because they got electrocuted. It was inside, and you were touching something, and it sort of came through the house? Is that what happened? Yes, it did. Yeah, direct hit. Like we said before at the beginning, there's a one in 300,000 chance

of being struck by lightning once in a lifetime. Okay. You've done it three times in a year. I have, and I didn't even think to go buy a lotto ticket. What's the most common question people ask you when you've been struck by lightning? To be honest, I don't talk

about it. I haven't talked about it. It was just something that happened, and oh yeah, that happened, and off you go. You don't make a big deal out of it. It was just something that happened and off you go. You don't make a big deal out of it. It was 20 years ago. It's only because someone found out about it and the media got a hold of it

and it became a bit of a thing. Make a big deal out of it. This is Maureen. I know you're in the South Island. You're very humble, the Southerners are, but I would have campaigned off this for at least 50 years Yeah, the lady struck by lightning three times Ah, there you go Well, there's an idea for 2023

Yeah, we can be your campaign manager That's right, play Grease Lightning as you come out Yeah Campaign rallies Who's ready to see the lady who's been struck by lightning three times And won you a beer for you? Oh, yes, I am John Travolta campaign rallies. Who's ready to see the lady who's been struck by lightning three times in one year be a Mooroo diva's eye. Oh,

yes, I am. John Travolta. Yeah, we've got you back, Maureen. Well, thank you so much

for joining the show this morning. That is a really phenomenal story, even though it feels like the novelty's worn off for you. We are very surprised.

It's been fun. I've enjoyed it. Thank you so much. Thanks, Maureen. Thank you for your time. Welcome to Two Half-Assed Dads Do a Half-Assed Job. Official title, Toto and Ben, It's been fun, I've enjoyed it Thank you so much Now I'm getting told off by Jennifer, my wife And it involves producer Juliet

And My harassing of producer Juliet Because Juliet, I probably Yeah, I'd say three or four times a week In the afternoon I'll phone Juliet And she probably, yeah, I'd say three or four times a week in the afternoon, I'll phone Juliet and she'll like, hello, Jonathan, will be her answer. And she'll know that it's a tech related question. As soon as I see it, I'm like, okay, what are the odds?

And this is going well above and beyond her daily job requirements. I know she's not our 24-hour tech helpline, but that's what I'm treating you like. And she's like, you've got to leave her alone. She's not like a tech spurt from Dick Smith or anything. You can't just call her and go, I've got confused again about what format I need to post Instagram stories and post it. No matter how long I do Instagram My brain just can't compute

What goes on what and so I phone Juliet For all sorts of tech issues And Jean's like just leave the poor lady alone So the reason for this conversation is Is it too much? No it's okay you know But this is what you would say Sometimes you know people don't understand

Things and you need help So you know You don't talk understand things and you need help. So, you know. You don't talk to me like your grandad. It reminds me of those tech in a sec ads. You remember those ones? And they'd really dumb down everything. Now, app stands for.

Applications. And you know, this is what it feels like is happening right now. This is a phone. You can use it to talk to other people who aren't in the same location. What? Whenever you want. I thought it was kind of like Jacinda when she first announced, like the alert level's now level four.

You can't get takeaways. You can't go to work. Making it really clear. I'm sorry, but you're too good at the tech stuff. I know you. Don't you look at me like, don't you judge? I know you call on Juliet. I know you phone her at the tech stuff. Don't you look at me like a, don't you judge? I know you call on Juliet. I know you phone her up for tech stuff.

Yeah, well, sometimes I do ask, but it's about converting videos and things like that. It's normally just probably the next step on for I'll be like, so I'm trying to, what's the up and down one again? Yeah, slightly different request, but, you know, used to it. In fairness, I've just turned up to the gram party. It's like the Instagram party. I'm probably 10 years too late.

It's like I feel like I've turned up to a high school at age 15 because my parents had to move for better job opportunities. And everyone's got their friend groups. Everyone's doing their thing. And I'm playing a bit of catch-up. Hey, guys, who do I blend in with? Who do I fit in with? And Juliet has to bear the brunt of that every afternoon.'t teach an old dog new tricks as they say i love it too because we've got like this joint instagram account that you sort of for some reason you kind of managed we've just

started this new one and it's funny because we get to follow john i've been enterprises we don't have any enterprises but uh we thought it sounded nice and we get set these videos uh from the people and they made the tv show with us to post and jono posts the wrong one every week every week and i get told off on text by our boss who posted this one and i was like i'll just sit back and watch like i'm eating popcorn enjoying this little thing that i've been text on so it's fun it's fun last week uh the guy who keeps telling me off has told me i need to retire from social media he's like go and go and find something else you're good at. Because it's not posting videos on Instagram.

So, Julia, we'll speak this afternoon. Okay, sounds good. Okay, mate, thanks for your help. No worries. New Zealand's breakfast. This is Jono and Ben on The Hits. Good morning, New Zealand. Welcome along to the show.

A Monday morning in daylight savings. Oh, this is when it kicks in, right? Did it throw you last night, Juliette and me? We were just having a conversation. She didn't go to sleep till 11.30 or so. I mean, I realise when I say this is when it kicks in. It obviously kicked in on Sunday, technically, but this is when it really hurts.

This is when it affects. Monday morning. Your wellbeing. You know, when you're like, oh, it's time to get up, but I don't feel like getting up. I think I woke up at 12.30 and didn't go back to sleep. You know, when you're just like, and then you're just, you're like, go to sleep. You get angry with yourself. Yeah.

You're like, surely you do this every night. Shut your eyes, you go breathing, counting. Oh, mate, I did it all. We ended up just watching Sex and the City. What Sex and the City? Did you get out of bed to watch it, or did you just like watch it in your bed? No, it was playing, because Jen, my wife, plays TV overnight, and it's very, in our relationship, I've just had to succumb to it. Right.

You know, I subliminally watch a lot of stuff without actually watching it. But yeah, Sex and the City was playing, so knocked off a few Eppies of that. Wonderful. Love Samantha and the girls. We've got a big show this morning, guaranteed this week. We've made it. We've made it so that $5,000 has to be won Yes, by the end of the month Yeah, so that's Thursday, right?

Yeah, we'll have to bring it up to speed Exactly how we made it, so A bit of a stitch up on Boss Todd So far I feel like we're just going along with this Mainly because there's no one else in the office Yeah, that's right This is what you can get away with When you're the only people in the room. So we'll play you that before 7 o'clock.

Our boss, Todd, reluctantly agreed to give away the money before the end of the month. It is the hits. You got Jono and Ben at 6 o'clock. That's right, 6 o'clock. The show where the masks make them look a whole lot better. Can't say this battered up old face. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast. We find out in a week today if the levels will change around New Zealand at any

stage. Do you reckon it's going to happen? I don't know. I've given up. It kind of feels like everyone's back to normal if you drive around on the weekend anyway. Yeah, do you know how I saw walking around on the weekend, Dr Susie Wiles? Did you? Mask, had her mask on. Judithins would be happy to know she had her mask on but i said uh hello suzy and you should actually had that sort of look in her eye of like oh please don't punish me you know the poor lady's probably been getting just everyone would be like wanting to talk about the the lockdown and vaccines and everything with her she's probably just like i'm just want to go out for a walk leave me alone right but i didn't i said keep up the good work suzy wiles she's like thanks

head down you know that i mean i've seen it before i punished a lot of people i know that look you know that familiar look of uh okay enough's enough yeah yeah tell you what i did for the first time over the weekend well uh was i did a lot of jobs basically because that's that's kind of what you end up doing but i've never done water blasting before but that's quite a satisfying experience but once you start you can't stop because you just see everything else that needs blasting don't you that's the problem with water blasting i got really into it but then i got in trouble because i took off the varnish of the deck i got too into it i was like wow look at this i was so proud to i showed a man i was like my wife was like hey check it out look what i've done she's like hey you know what you've done

it's not only taking off the dirt but you've taken off the varnish you've blown the house back to bare bones but she's it was you exfoliate your face come out here it was really satisfying though yeah i don't know what it is about it, but it's quite a satisfying. Well, because you can see your results instantly, can't you? But I find you get a sore hand on the old trigger, don't you, the longer you go? You sort of mix it up between, you know, your dominant hand and your other hand. Yeah. But there is a moment where you're like, oh, enough's enough. You know, you do, you get over it, don't you?

Yeah. Yeah. I can't imagine you waterblasting. No, well, the first time, first time. How did you even get the thing going it took a while but yeah yeah you had to plug a lot of stuff in the hose and the yeah i actually worked it out wow i feel so proud of myself do you own a water blaster yeah i do yeah i do yeah has it even been used no well not by me so the first time i was like well maybe it's

my thing but you're right i probably got about 30 minutes into it. Then I was like, oh, I've done that. I felt like I'd done that now, but I had more still to go. Maybe it's my thing. If you want him to come over and blow everything off your house, including the varnish off your deck, but then be done in 30 minutes and be like, that's enough. He's the guy for you.

Professional water blaster, Ben Boyce. No job too big or small. I guess it's done within 30 minutes. Otherwise, I lose interest. And no complaints about any damage to your house. All right. We've got a guarantee $5,000. That is up for grabs.

You can win that today. And if it's not won by Thursday, we're just going to stay and keep playing the game until it's given away. We'll tell you more very shortly. It is the hits. Kia ora. I'm Rachel Jackson-Lees, and this playing the game until it's given away. We'll tell you more very shortly. It is the hits. Kia ora. I'm Rachel Jackson-Lees, and this is the B**** News. This is a fun part of the show where Juliet takes stories,

beeps out headlines, beeps out words in the headlines. We have to try and figure out what they are. Now, do we get special dispensation given it is a daylight savings? Can we hear the headlines now and give you our answers at 20 past 7? Yeah, I'm sure that could work. No, let's play. Let's commit to a... This feels like quarter past 5, eh?

She's not budging. No. All right, the first news story. Eminem to launch... Oh. Quick one. Eminem to launch. I'm going to go a collaboration project with my friend Benjamin Boyce.

All right. Beninem. Oh, I do likece. All right. Ben and Em. Oh, I do like that. Coming soon. I like that. You've got yourself a new co-host. A better co-host, I won't lie. I'm going to say Eminem's going to launch a peroxide hair salon.

Why not? Just go in and all you can get is Eminem hairstyles. That is a very smart business idea. Like every white guy in the early 2000s. Eminem to launch Mom's Spaghetti Restaurant. So he's launching it in Detroit. Obviously, Mom's Spaghetti, a famous lyric from Lose Yourself. And it's a diner that basically sells spaghetti sandwiches,

spaghetti and meatballs, everything spaghetti. Well, he's really now put to the floor on the old spaghetti. Yeah, launched by Eminem. Although, you know, he gave his mum, in his earlier chapter of his career, he gave his mum a lot of grief, you know, sort of, you know, death threats and hearing all her dirt. It's a tumultuous relationship, isn't it? It is, but then he really obviously loved her spaghetti

because he shouted out mum's spaghetti on the other side. I wonder if she'd get any money from the earnings that this restaurant would make. No, no. Well, I don't know if they've patched their relationship up now, but they really did, they're going against each other. She was suing him, he was suing her. Yeah, I don't know if they've patched their relationship up now, but they really did. They're going against each other. She was suing him.

He was suing her. Yeah, I think so. It's pretty horrible. That's sad. All I tell you what's not sad is him earning millions of dollars from that album. Yeah, that's true. And the next news story.

William Shatner set to become oldest person to... I'm going to go. William Shatner set to become the oldest person to figure out how to turn the TV from HDMI 1 to HDMI 2 without asking anyone. I'm going to say William Shatner's set to become the oldest person ever to still remember Star Trek, the TV show. Remember that? William Shatner's set to become oldest person to go into space. So he's 90 years old now.

Obviously he was in Star Trek and he's going in one of Jeff Bezos' rockets. It's just going to be a 15 minute up in space job, then come back down kind of like the last one and they're going to be filming a documentary up there. So William Shatner. What, in 15 minutes? Yeah, I don't know, apparently.

It's a quick doco. It actually is, isn't it? I didn't think about that. I'm surprised he's 90. Yeah. He looks is, isn't it? I didn't think about that. I'm surprised he's 90. Yeah. He looks amazing. He does. He does. He's one of those people who reached a certain age and a certain look, and he's remained the same since.

Like Nelson Mandela did. He hit a level and then rode that level out. Yeah. Hopefully I'm the same. I've hit this shabby, disheveled level now, and I'll just see this through for a couple of years, you know. Yeah, but 90, I'm like, jeez, he's doing well. And the final news story.

BBC reporter Phil McCann goes viral while covering... I'm going to go the BBC reporter Phil McCann goes viral while covering a COVID outbreak and catching Delta. That's what caused him to go viral. I'm going to say that Phil McCann, he was covering philanthropist Dr Phil on philosophy. I try to get lots of Phil puns into that. BBC reporter Phil McCann goes viral while covering fuel shortages at petrol station.

Do you get it? Phil McCann. Phil McCann. I do. The name is perfect for the news story. So he went live on BBC and minutes later he was trending on Twitter. And there's obviously a fuel shortage in the UK. I did a bit of research

and people are panic buying petrol. That's the new thing people are panic buying. And he tweeted, he was like, well, there are definitely worse things to be trending on Twitter for. And that is probably one you would want to be trending on Twitter for. So well done, Phil McCann.

So how do you panic buy petrol? Just load up your... Phil McCann. Phil McC for. So well done, Phil McCann. So how do you panic by petrol? Just load up Phil McCann. Phil the car, Phil the can. So it's an issue over in the UK. It's very dangerous to panic by petrol. I've got it all stored at home.

No one light any matches or anything like that. The last place you want panic is on the petrol station forecourt. You want calm. Call for calm. Totally. Hey, thanks, Ju. That was wonderful.

No worries. You've done your family proud. Next on the show, we did this on Friday. We asked who was the most famous person that you've ever sat beside. And we got some amazing calls through. People like James Brown, Victoria Beckham. Incredible people that people have sat beside. So we thought we'd throw it back out there again.

0800 The Hits. Have you sat next to anyone famous? We'll see if we can beat Friday. It is The Hits. Hard-hitting interviews and informed opinion. Mike Hosking on Newstalk ZB. In the meantime, here's Jono and Ben. The Hits.

It is 6.25 on your Monday morning. Now on Friday we were talking about a TV host in America who went to the tennis in New York and ended up sitting next to Brad Pitt and Bradley Cooper. And we're like, man, that was incredible. Incredible to be sitting next to those sort of famous people. Yeah, but Bradley Pitt and Bradley Cooper did not look like... Bradley Pitt.

We're calling him Bradley Pitt. They did not look like they were enjoying their time at the tennis or sitting next to these people as well. Oh, you saw one photo and you judged on one photo. And they looked miserable. They did not look like they were enjoying their time at the tennis or sitting next to these people as well. You saw one photo and you judged on one photo. And they looked miserable. I saw lots of other things. They were laughing and they were having a great time.

But you're like, one photo looks miserable. I reckon they had a look of permanent avoidance, much like I was saying I met Susie Wiles over the weekend and I tried to spark up conversation. The poor lady. I should have just left her alone. Celebrities need stickers on them. You know, like, hello, just left her alone. But celebrities need stickers on them, you know, like,

hello, my name is stickers. But then, hello, my name is Brad Pitt. Please leave me alone. You know, just check those off. Now we got talking off the back of that about who are the famous people that you've ever been lucky enough to sit beside.

And we got Danny, and Danny phoned through. And this is, check this out. First, I sat next to James Brown, who we all know and I had to work myself up the whole flight to ask him a question I finally said um excuse me Mr Brown do you mind if I have your autograph he turned around he goes call me James baby we're all friends around here okay so James Brown and then I understand Victoria Beckham is that correct

yes so this was when I was a bit older. We got upgraded to business class on Air New Zealand, and it was from LA to London. She's so small. She was wearing these huge heels, and I kept trying to catch her eye the whole time, and she wasn't really having a bar of it, but I finally got to say hi to her.

Yeah, great, isn't it? Isn't it amazing? It'll be unsettling to be that famous, to know that one day someone might call up a radio station for a topic of who you've sat next to. But that's what we want right now. Yeah, 0800 THE HITS, 4487. Have you sat next to anyone famous?

Can we beat Friday? Should we have left it there? Most likely. That's what our bosses will say. It is the hits. Rated M for mildly amusing. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast. Now we're talking on 0800

the hits. Who is the most famous person you've ever sat to? Now Ben, you've backed this one in. We did it Friday. Ticked that box. Had some wonderful calls. And he's like, no, let's bring it back Monday morning. Let's see if we can get any overflow from this topic. You've put your kahunas on the line here, buddy. And I tell you what, they have answered. They have.

Your people have come. Martin's on the phone. Martin, who have you sat next to? I have sat next to Sir Edmund Hillary at Diwali in Auckland. Oh, my goodness. The guy from the $5 note. The man from the $5 note. The Climbman Everest, indeed.

Legendary New Zealander. How did this happen? Well, I lived in Auckland for a while for my work and we got invited to the Barley Festival at the Auckland Town Centre from some of our Indian friends. So we went along and I was sitting there taking photos of Helen Clark

and all that, you know, because she was in the speech too, and turned around and he was just sitting on a bench. Oh my goodness. I sat down beside him, started talking, got a photo. That's awesome. Hell of a legend. Yeah, my goodness. Sat down beside him, started talking, got a photo. That's awesome. Hell of a legend. Yeah, what did you talk to Sir Ed about? You know what?

I can't remember. It's 2004, 2005, whatever it was. You'd be like, I've climbed a couple of hills in my time as well. I do remember saying, it's an honour to meet you, and he pretty much said, don't be a silly bugger. I'm just an ordinary guy. Because I remember that he used to have, there was a story that he used to, his number was in the

phone book. It was there. That seems like a fatal mistake. Yeah, but yeah, how humble he was as a New Zealander, so it's pretty incredible. Oh, wonderful. Don't be silly, I'm just a normal bloke. A bloke who happens to be on money. Yeah, done extraordinary things.

Oh, wonderful. What an honour to meet the man. It was, it was. And the photo is still one of my highlights. Oh, thank you for sharing that with us. I really do appreciate it. It's such a great story. Good on you, Martin. Thank you.

We'll get Chris on from Timaru. How are you, Chris? Yeah, good, bro. Yeah, good. We're just talking about sitting next to famous people. Who was it for you? My mum and her partner retired, and I thought, right, I'll spend the big money, and I went business class to New York.

Oh, God. Are you looking at this going, that's my money they're spending? I'd fly them economy. Yeah, yeah. So anyway, they board the plane, and they're getting in there, and then mum, she's a bit hoity-toity. She looks across and goes, oh, look at these scruffy beggars. There's all this group of guys,

they've got ripped jeans and long hair and shaggy beards and stuff. And mum's partner, he's a bit of a rocker, he gives her the old rib and the elbows and says, there's the Foo Fighters, there's bloody Dave Grohl and all these guys. So they sat on the bloody plane with the Foo Fighters having a drink and a chat.

And I says to her, I says, oh, did you get an autograph? No. What do you mean? And I says, what, did you get a selfie? And they said, no. And I says, you really don't know how this works, do you? You don't know how being a fan works. If you've got a plastic knife and fork,

you could have gotten a hundred bucks for it. Yeah, so you take their dirty napkins. Did they say they were a lovely conversation? Oh, they were great guys. Yeah, hell yeah. No, they reckon they were just real friendly and just chatting about their lives and their retirement. Yeah, no, real cool. That's awesome.

That's awesome. Well, they're looking forward to their retirement. Oh, I tell you what. Sit back with that super gold card. That's a wonderful story, wonderful. And I love your mum's reaction. Who are these scruffy buggers in business class? There's meant to be a better class of person up here.

Yeah, no, no, no, those are some pretty cool people. Oh, that's so good. Thank you again for sharing that with us. That's so awesome. Okay, guys. Thank you, mate. Next on the show, a scammer from overseas made the wrong call here in new zealand we'll bring you up to speed next it is the hits you got john on ben i can't write one song that's not about you

can't drink without thinking about you is it too late to tell you that everything means nothing if i can't scrolling through your feed all right, time for my dear friend Benjamin Boyce. Don't ask me how he's been scrolling through your feed. Somehow he's managed to get your passwords and hacked that facial recognition thing on your device. But he has been looking through your feed and what's been happening? One more week until it is decided, the government decides if Auckland will move out of Alert Level 3,

the rest of New Zealand will move out of Alert Level 2. That's going to be about four o'clock in a week's time uh the big aim right now is to get as many people vaccinated as possible five million vaccines uh have been delivered in new zealand so far administered uh over that means obviously that counts for some people having two that doesn't mean that five million people have all had their single dose uh but a great ad i just saw um it's been doing the rounds on social media, there's a funeral home overseas and they've been hiring a billboard saying, don't get vaccinated

as they had for the funeral home, so I thought that was quite clever. Oh, they want to keep the business going. Yeah, yeah, obviously. Drum up some business. Yeah, so they're like, don't get vaccinated and then they've got their funeral home underneath. That's a good, that's a good, you've got to capitalise don't you? Silver lining. Yeah. There's some businesses that do well out of this.

Have you been double-vaxxed yet? Yes, yes, have now. Yeah, so, yeah. How are you feeling? I'm okay now. Yeah, I was a little bit tired, probably about 24 hours into it, I felt a little bit tired, like I'm almost like, but then once you had that second sleep, I was fine. I think it affects people

in different ways though, right? I think it's daylight savings. I don't know if it's the individual with the second shoulder. I'm constantly always tired too. I think it affects people in different ways though, right? I think it's daylight savings. I don't know if it's the individual with the second shoulder. I'm constantly always tired too. I think it's breakfast radio. And the New Zealand police have shared a recording of an overseas scammer being caught out calling a police station in New Zealand.

So they shared it in an effort to highlight the dangers of scam phone calls. So this is what happens. A scammer called up a New Zealand police station. North Com, Dan speaking. Hello, this is Jack and I'm calling you from Sparks. So how are you? Good, thanks. How are you?

OK, I'm doing good too. Thanks for your attention. Well, the call is regarding your internet connection, OK? Your internet is not running in a secure line, OK? Well, you've called the New Zealand police. I'd be very surprised if our internet wasn't secure. This is the New Zealand Police Communication Centre. Yes. Oh!

Oh, OK. You got me. Hands in the air. My bad. You can't blame a guy for trying He tried, yeah Someone would have got a roasting after you hung up that call Who let go of the police?

The police have also put out a few tips For recognising how to avoid scammers So basically going along the lines Of just reminding everyone That a genuine bank organisation Will never ask you for your PIN, your password, or to move money from one account to another, and they'll never make you make a rushed decision on a phone call. Yeah, and when they go, you've called the police, they won't go,

Oh, hey, you're going to love me. I was with this conversation the other day. Scammers have just checked out. There's no attention to detail. There's no love in these scams anymore. He's just phoning a number. He's like, oh, your internet's no good, mate. There's no backup.

There's nothing. It's a numbers game. We're all just numbers to these people. And that is scrolling through your feed this morning after 7 o'clock on the show, how you could win $5,000. It's got to be won before we leave on Thursday. It is the hits. You've got Jono and Ben.

The Hit Spy with McDonald's Monopoly. Peel and scan your way to over $107 million in prizes. We're giving away some of those prizes after 8.30 this morning, but here to expose all the extramarital affairs and monumental life mistakes of the rich and famous, it's our dear friend, producer Juliette. So singer Lana Del Rey has accused Lorde of ripping off her songs for Lorde's Solar Power album.

So Lana Del Rey is seeking sort of public acknowledgement, they say, from Lorde that she inspired one of her songs, Stoned at the Nail Salon. And so this is Stoned at the Nail Salon. And then... Oh yeah, I can see why Lana would be a little frazzled. Yeah. So they said the background music's very similar. Similar in the melody and things like that. Where was Lana Del Rey stoned at?

Was that not her song? I don't know. She's stoned at the petrol station, isn't it? But the thing is, so reports are that Lorde had already offered Lana Del Rey royalties behind the scenes and earlier on. But Lana isn't interested. She just says she wants the world to know that she was maybe the one

that inspired the songs. But the thing is... Has this been bubbling away behind the scenes for a while? Yeah, it has been for a wee while, and it's kind of come to a head now. But Lorde and Lana share the same producer, Jack Antoff, who works with them both in producing their music. So there's probably always going to be a little bit of crossover there if you've got the same producer. Jack'soff, who works with them both in producing their music. So there's probably always going to be a little bit of crossover there if you've got the same producer.

Jack's going, oh, he'd be pulling out his collar right now, wouldn't he? Did I want to use, did I? Oh, okay, here. I didn't think you were going to hear that, Lana. Oh, well, it seems like every album that's released nowadays, the artist is having to acknowledge someone who inspired the record must be so so hard to release music i remember thinking that when i was a kid like i was like surely people have run out of songs by now like there are millions of songs in the world that's what i think surely we've clocked music yeah and i say we i haven't

contributed in any way but you know you think every good song that could be released Yeah, so I don't know, there's probably always going to be a bit of crossover and inspiration from different areas and different people. Well that's how you end up going back and remixing Fleetwood Mac's Dreams, isn't it? We just go start from the beginning. Yeah, very true Turn everything into a club mix

And in other news, Britney Spears apparently is in talks to do an interview with Oprah, kind of like Meghan and Harry style. Britney has had a lot of interview requests, obviously, as you can kind of imagine, but apparently she saw Oprah's interview with Harry and Meghan and kind of liked the way it was done, probably liked the amount of attention it got. And so that could be a possibility, but that's just rumours at the moment.

Producer Behemoth, where did our interview requests land with the Brittany team, eh? Any bias? He's got thumbs up, so we're still in the game. Oprah and us, we're all chasing an exclusive, aren't we? I reckon we'll be next. Next in line, absolutely. And that is your Spy Update for this morning. For more, you can head to thehits.co.nz,

and that is thanks to McDonald's. You can download the McDonald's app to play and win prizes with the Monopoly game. And thanks to Boss Todd. We've got $5,000 to give away. It could be yours. After 7 o'clock today, we'll tell you how. A guaranteed $5,000 this week on 5 Words for 5K. Such a lovely song, that one.

Pink and her daughter, Willow. It is the hits. You've got Jono and Ben. Now after 7 o'clock I've been saying this morning that we've got a guaranteed $5,000 to give away. It's got to be won this week before the end of September and I gain five words for 5k. Yeah, and we don't want to cover you in sunshine, we want to cover you in cash. And we hoodwinked, didn't we? We hoodwinked Boss Todd into guaranteeing that we'd give away the money before the end of the month.

Now, we spoke to Todd on Friday. Here's how the conversation went down. Let me clarify. Five words for 5K. There are no guaranteed winners, okay? There are no, it has to go off by a certain day. So, you know, I'm not saying it's got to go off by a certain day. There you go.

That was Boss Todd vehemently saying that. We tried to trick him, right? We were like, oh, I remember you said this. And he and he was like no i didn't say this in a meeting the good thing about todd is he's not a note taker yeah so you can get a few a few goals past the goalie can't you oh you see that a few weeks ago in a meeting so that didn't work no but some uh with some trickery and witchcraft boss todd Todd, in an instant, somehow agreed to giving away the $5,000 before the end of the month. Let me clarify.

I said that. Five words for 5K, they're unguaranteed winners, okay? It has to go off by a certain day. So, you know, I'm saying it's got to go off by a certain day. That day is Thursday. Yeah. It's the ultimate deep fake.

Can't deny that that's not his voice. Can you? Yeah, so this morning, your chance to get hold of that $5,000. If it isn't won by Thursday, we keep playing until it is given away. Five words, 5k. That's after 7 o'clock on the hits. Hard-hitting interviews and informed opinion

by Kosking on New Salted B. In the meantime, here's Jono and Ben. The hits. Congratulations to the All Blacks. They've already won the rugby championship this year Mike Hosking on New Salted B. In the meantime, here's Jono and Ben. The Heads. Ben, congratulations to the All Blacks. They've already won the rugby championship this year with, I think, a game to go. Great victory over the weekend over the Springboks. Very close game. It was one of those old-fashioned rugby games.

A little bit boring. Off-EB was like, I haven't watched rugby in a while. It was quite boring. Oh, it started really well. I was trying to get the kids around. I was like, I haven't watched rugby in a while, it was quite boring Oh it started really well, like I was trying to get the kids around I was like great, there was tries and then it was like Oh it was one of those, because African tactics weren't that exciting Yeah right, old fashioned rugby, a little bit boring But what I appreciated too, Geordie Barrett who obviously scored the match winning goal

Yeah he did He swapped jerseys with the opposite player Now here's a point of conversation I'd like to bring up. How gross would it be putting on another rugby player's jersey at the end of the game? That would just be doused in sweat. 80 minutes of, like, here's the jersey and I'll put it on. Yeah.

Like, to keep it. I realise why they do it. It's a great honour to have someone else's jersey and keep it as a memento, but yeah, right. Yeah, let's chuck that in nappy sand for a couple of days. Just let that work its wonders. But putting it on straight away. I mean, and I don't know if he paid the same respects, the opposite player,

if he put on Geordie's top straight away. Because if you put it on and then the other guy didn't put it on, you'd be like, oh, okay, I see. I'm more committed to this jersey swap than you are. Yeah. I always wonder what, you know, it surprised me what sports do it. Like you never see the Olympic swimmers. Like they're never at the end of their race, are they? They go always wonder what, you know, it surprised me what sports do it. Like, you never see

the Olympic swimmers. Like, they're never at the end of their breaks, are they? You go, here's my speedos, mate.

You're like, oh, cheers, you can start doing that. You know, that would be a nice thing, wouldn't it, in the side of the pool?

But they never do it, though. The male volleyball players as well. Hey, guys, hey, good game.

Good hustle out there. Just do it on the beach. Yeah, Seems to be a big thing, so it's good to see it back, though. We should do it after your radio show,

you and me. Good show, buddy. Let's swap clothes. Sorry you have to see this, Juliet thing so it's good to see it back though We should do it after a radio show You and me, a good show buddy Let's pop clothes Sorry you have to see this Juliet but it's tradition I'll leave it around It is our game of word association We play it every morning around about this time on the hits We give you five words

You tell us the first words that pop into your head after those words And if they match up or five with, you win $5,000. Very special week this week, though, because the money must go before the end of the month. Now, this was thanks to a champagne Jono and Ben bamboozling of Boss Todd. We phoned Boss Todd with two hopeful outcomes. One was that he couldn't remember saying in a meeting that he promised to give away the $5,000 before the end of September. Or option B, he says a collection of words that will play into our favour. Let me clarify.

Five words for 5K. There are no guaranteed winners, OK? There are no, it has to go off by a certain day. So, you know, I'm not saying it's got to go off by a certain day. So that's what he said. But then with a certain day. So, you know, I'm not saying it's got to go off by a certain day. So that's what he said. But then with a little bit of editing, we can make Boss Todd say this. Let me clarify.

I said that. Five words for 5K, they're unguaranteed winners, okay? It has to go off by a certain day. So, you know, I'm saying it's got to go off by a certain day. The grand man himself has said before the end of the month this money has to go out the door. So if it's not gone go off by a certain day. Hey, the grand man himself has said before the end of the month, this money has to go out the door.

So if it's not gone by Thursday, we're here until it does. That's as simple as that. Lorraine, you're on from Rauhatorua. How are you this morning? I'm great. How are you guys going? Oh, we are great, Lorraine. You want to win $5,000?

Oh, that would be primo. All right, you need to make a big decision. Who are you sending into the SPB this morning, the soundproof booth, to match with? Ooh, we'll go for producer Juliette, hey? Oh, good. Come on, you can do it. You can do it.

A little bit of a pep talk from Lorraine as she makes her way to the soundproof booth. She's locked inside that now. Yes, we have got a soundproof booth. She can't hear anything we're about to say. No, same. So let's rip into it. Hey, geez, imagine winning $5,000 to start the week, Lorraine. Imagine it.

Awesome, yeah. There's no better start to the week unless your doctor said, hey, here's a whole bunch of uppers. All right, oink. Oink is the first word this morning. O-I-N-K, oink. Pig. Yeah, that's what I was thinking too.

Jono's nodding away. Lost is your second word, Lorraine. Lost. L-O-C-K. Lock. Sorry, lost. L-O-S-T. Lost.

Lost. Ooh. Found. Lost and found. Lorraine, you're on fire. I said fire to Lorraine. It was an Adele song., you're on fire. I said fire to Lorraine, wasn't a Dell song. And you are on fire.

If I'm on fire, you better get the fire boys around. Lorraine's got a fire they might want to put out. Orlando is the third word. Orlando, O-R-L-A-N-D-O. We'll have to go for Mr. Orlando Bloom. Orlando Bloom. Orlando Bloom. That's what I was thinking too. You're playing a really good game so far, Lorraine.

I'm going to put you in there then. Pancake is word number four. Pancake. Oh, pancake. Can we come back to that one? Yeah, sure. And the final word this morning is trophy. Trophy. Reward. Reward.

Reward. Nice. Did you say reward or award? Award. Award. Oh, I'm sorry. Trophy award. Yeah.

Award. Award. A. Yep, award. And we're going to go back to pancake. Pancake. Breakfast. Yeah, nice, Lorraine.

Mate, if you had put me in there, I would have given, Lorraine, mate. If you had put me in there, I would have given you $5,000. Would you? Oh, jeez, turn back time, eh? Would you? I would have. Why do you think I just say stuff, Ben? I feel like you do. Why do you think I just say words

into a microphone and forget what I've said at the end of the show? No. I would have matched. Juliet, no pressure. I would have won Lorraine five times. I guess you would have matched all five. I'm thinking maybe three to four. But, you know. Okay.

They're all good words, though. Lorraine played really, really well. Okay. So, no pressure. Oh, dear. No pressure. Don't worry. She wants all the fire service to come around and put her out.

She wants to stop, drop, and roll on top of them. Okay. Okay, first word this morning is oink. Pig. Yes. Nice. Lost is the second word this morning. Lost. Found.

Oh. So far so good. Orlando is word number three this morning, Juliet. Orlando. Bloom. Oh yeah. Bloom and heck. We have three from five. This is the turning point, Loza. Any words you'd like to usher to, Jude? Well, she's probably one

that she'd like to usher, but she can't. She can't obviously say what she said. I'm sure she'd love to say what that is. We're going to say pancake is the next word. Pancake. Syrup? Oh! No? Oh! What did she say What did she say

Jono what would you have gone for Jono I can't remember That's because Breakfast He made up the fact That he would have gone for the same word Did you say breakfast Lorraine

Yeah I did That's what I would have said That's what I would have said And what would Jono have said For the final word Trophy I would have said. That's what I would have said. And what would Jono have said for the final word, trophy? I would have said award. Those are the words that were in my head, Lorraine. Hey, sometimes you're a great not sending the old J-Dog into the South Roof. Sorry, Lorraine.

Really fun playing with you, Lorraine. You're a good sport. Awesome. I'll just go and deal with the shit at work now. What's at work? What's that, sorry? What do you do for a job? I'm a paid shit steerer.

Oh. Right. I work at the wastewater treatment plant. I thought you were having a really shocking time at work at the moment. Will you keep up the great work there, Lorraine, and stay safe in Rotorua, okay? Nah, awesome. You guys too. See you, mate. Appreciate you listening to the moment. Will you keep up the great work there, Lorraine, and stay safe in Rotorua, okay? Yeah, awesome. You guys too.

See you, mate. Appreciate you listening to the show. She just turned 40 and she actually wrote a handwritten note that she put on the internet showing her appreciation to everything for turning 40. Aw.

How thankful she was. A very nice Beyonce. That's what you do when you turn 40. You don't know how to type. You just have to write handwritten letters. Isn't that lovely, though?. A very nice Beyonce. That's what you do when you turn 40. You don't know how to type. You just have to write handwritten letters. Isn't that lovely, though? Yeah, very nice. The Head Spy with McDonald's Monopoly.

Peel and scan your way to over $107 million in prizes. All right, now we hand over to Captain Juliet, who's about to sail a shipload of gossip into the harbour. Aye, aye, Captain. What have we got? Aye, aye, Captain. Earlier in the show, we talked about Eminem launching a mom's spaghetti restaurant,

playing on Lose Yourself, that famous lyric, in Detroit. It almost looks like a little bit of a pop-up restaurant diner type place. Yeah, I had a number. We saw the ad for it. Yeah. And they had the, you know, you can get all these meals, like spaghetti meals, and they look, they don't look that appetising, do they? No.

They were showing them, putting them together. It was kind of like spaghetti just slapped on bread. Meatballs kind of dropping from the sky, landing in spaghetti. But we gave them a call. Thank you for calling Mom's Spaghetti, located at 2131 Woodward Avenue in beautiful downtown Detroit. Spaghetti, meatballs, spaghetti with meatballs, or no meatballs, and the Skeddy Sandwich.

Mom's Spaghetti, it's all ready. Mom's in the trailer, grand opening at 5pm on September 29th. So it's not open just yet. But it feels like a good promotional tool, doesn't it? Yeah. I know he did a nice thing during some of the well, during the pandemic to help out some nurses and stuff around

Detroit and delivering some mum's spaghetti meals. That's lovely. And to doctors and nurses, which is pretty awesome. Oh my god, a spaghetti. Producer Bee Hump said, although he had vomit on his sweater, which was mum's spaghetti, so maybe not the best advertising for the spaghetti. True.

Insinuating that it's not that good. Yeah, or there might be a special location in the restaurant where you can go and vomit up mum's spaghetti if you're a bit nervous about maybe you're on a date or something. Yeah, yeah. Got a big presentation for work in the restaurant. Gives you that opportunity, maybe. And in other news, there have been a couple of celebrity breakups.

So Elon Musk and singer Grimes have what they call semi-separated after three years. Elon talked about it and said that they remain on very good terms and continue to co-parent their one-year-old son. And they love each other still, and it's mainly because he works mainly in Texas for Tesla and SpaceX, and her work is primarily in LA. So it's a little bit hard for them at the moment. So they're semi-separated. Could she move to where he is?

I can't get it. Well, they've probably gone through that. I'm thinking about it. I don't know why I'm here trying to patch up Elon Musk's marriage. It's not my job, I'm sure you're right. I'm sure they've gone through all the avenues and given everything a crack. Yeah, yeah. And as well as that, Jason

Derulo and his model influencer girlfriend Jenna Froome have split only four months after welcoming their first child together, a wee son. So Jason tweeted she's an amazing mother but we feel being apart at this time will allow us to be the best versions of ourselves and the best parents we could

be. Has she thought about moving in with him? Maybe. Just going back to Elon Musk, do you think if he says, I need my space, do you think that means something a whole lot different? You're like, hang on. Quite literally. Just need some space. You're like, oh, okay. Well, the alarming

thing about Musk is he hasn't gone up on his own rocket yet He keeps sending the amateur civilians up there Maybe this is his opportunity I really do have to commit to the space thing I think he's signed up to go on the Virgin one With old Richard Branson Would you like to travel to space with me? Richard Branson

And that is your Spy Update Thanks to McDonald's You can download the McDonald's app to play and win prizes with the Monopoly game at Macca's. Like getting your news from the internet. Half-truths and false information. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's

Breakfast. 8.27 on your Monday morning. Jono and Ben with you. Jono and Ben's McDonald's Monopoly. Peel and win. The Monopoly game at Maccas is here and there's over $107 million in prizes to be won and every morning this week on The Hits

you've got to guess where the McDonald's Monopoly tile is hidden in New Zealand to win some epic prizes. So right now we're going to give you your first clue this morning to see if you can work out where it is. We also head to The Hits Breakfast on Instagram as well if you want a little bit more help. But clue number one, the building first opened in June 1937. Okay, if you think you know where the location is on the Monopoly board this morning, then 0800 the Hits telephone number. We'll peel back the sticker and reveal your prize. We'll hand out some more clues if you're not getting closer. But I was just doing some research, and they call this the winning peeling bin.

You must have been on the think tank brainstorming. Oh, the winning peeling. McDonald's, the winning peeling. That's awesome. Yeah, wonderful stuff. And I got into a hole about the Monopoly man. Rich Uncle Pennybags, his name. All right.

So I would have loved to have seen the deal go down between Ronald and Rich Uncle Pennybags, but he'd be worth now $2.5 billion, thanks to the amount of fortune he amassed through his real estate, the Monopoly Man. Wow, alright. And he had a wife, Madge. Did he? Madge Moneybags. Did you know? I did not know that. Didn't he have too much from Madge, did you? No. No, kind of

kept Madge hidden away for some reason. Out of the hits, if you think you know whereabouts on the McDonald's Monopoly board, we are this morning and you could be winning next. But also, big announcement this morning, Guns and Roses are going to be playing, they've rescheduled their concerts from this year to next year, they're going to be playing Eden Park

in Auckland as one of the venues. How cool is that? The first international act to play at Eden Park. How stink does the Wellington Sky Stadium feel? I think Wellington is still getting a concert. Oh, so they don't, we the Wellington Sky Stadium feel? I think Wellington's still getting a concert. Oh, so we're not ditching Wellington? I think Wellington, from what I know, is. But Eden Park, how cool.

It is the hits. Jono and Ben, that's Guns N' Roses, November Rain, celebrating the fact they're coming to New Zealand next year. Just been announced because they had to reschedule their concerts. They're going to be playing two concerts, one Wellington, one Auckland, Eden Park. Last time I saw Guns N' Roses, they came here, and Axl Rose kept running offstage after every song,

and everyone was like, where's he going, where's he going? And it transpired he was running backstage to huff on an oxygen tank. Oh, really? So he had a little bit of an oxygen system going back there just to back out there, do Welcome to the Jungle back in Paradise City. It takes it out of a guy. A lot of singing and running around the stage. It's a lot of singing, I know.

Just imagine the 90s, what else would have been backstage? But now it's just an innocent can of oxygen. Jono and Ben's McDonald's Monopoly. Peel and win. Yes, the Monopoly game is back at Macca's with over $107 million in prizes up for grabs. Some amazing, amazing prizes that you can get a hold of at Macca's right now.

Just download the McDonald's app to play and win the prizes with the McDonald's game at Macca's. And we're doing our own version every morning on the radio. That's right, Dan. Sorry, someone just texted in 4487. I was talking about Uncle Pennybags or Rich Pennybags, the Monopoly man, worth $2.5 billion, had a secret wife called Madge. Someone else has texted in saying he had nephews as well, Andy and Randy. We're learning a lot about the Monopoly man this morning. But Andrea, you're on from Auckland. How are you?

I'm great. Thank you. How are you guys? It's an honour to have you feature on our broadcast this morning, Andrea. Thank you, it's very kind. Now you have to work out where on our imaginary monopoly board we're heading around in New Zealand. The first clue this morning was the building first opened in June 1937. Any idea where we could be?

It has to be the Wellington Railway Station. Who are you in cahoots with? I'm just working from home. I'm a very clever early childhood teacher. How do you know this? Google. Did you Google? Well, could have.

You're allowed to Google. You are allowed. Well done. So you win a prize. So let's peel and win and find out. Reveal and peel, I think was the terminology. Which I quite like. And you've won a $500 gift card from

The Iconic. Thank you so much. Now when you spend every one of those dollars you think about Benjamin Boyce and Jonathan Pryor on The Iconic, okay? Awesome. Thank you so much. Got a lot of nice stuff on The Iconic. I'm on there now. Thanks to Ronald. Thanks to Rich Uncle Pennybags.

And thanks to Andrea. That's how the game works. We're going to be doing it all week. Yeah, we'll do it again tomorrow. So your chance to win big thanks to the Monopoly game at Maccas. It's back with 107 million in prizes to be won. How cool is that? It is the hits.

You got it, Jono and Ben. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from 6 on the hits. Hits, you got a chat on Ben?