Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: Did Ben Break The Law...

Episode Date: January 24, 2023

Ben returns Prince Harry's book before reading... Jono wants to live like a dog for a day  Ben uses a napkin from a stranger 5 words! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kia ora, yes this Jonathan and Benjamin podcast production is brought to you by Challenge. Thank you Challenge, petrol service stations. They do a wonderful job. They do. Now, when you walk into the petrol station, you notice nowadays... Walking, oh so you park the car, you're going... You park the car, you've done your bits and pieces, and they haven't trusted you to let the pump off prepay, and you've gone into pay, do you always just go petrol,

or do you get bamboozled by the many items on offer? Can you ever just walk into a petrol station, pay for petrol, and walk out? Oh, yeah, I can, but depending on the... But I can't if I'm going on a long drive. Like if I'm going on some sort of long road trip. I know, it's always like a pack of little nuts or something. Yeah, like...

Like a Mother's... What is it? Mother's pack of little nuts or something. Yeah, like... Like a Mother's... What is it? Mother's Earth bloody almond mix or something? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I do like that. Something like that. If I'm like, oh, that might be an occasion where I'm going to need to eat later

or something like that. You know, I'm a big fan of my gum. You always get some sugar-free gum as well. Extra. Yeah, but that's... And it's very hard to take a kid into that situation too because they get bamboozled, don't they?

There's so many lights and things and confectionery and ice cream and all sorts. What about you? I can't. I walk in there

and I'm buying bloody coke and all sorts of business. Molded gold. What's that? Molded gold. You know what I mean? B&H. B&H.

Golden molds. But you know, I can't help myself and that's why petrol stations make money. But how's the day been? It's been all right. Yeah, it's been fun coming back. How would you rate the show of the three that we've returned back with?

Oh, in some sort of, I don't know. It was good. It was good. Lots of fun. I mean, you want to check it out. You're listening right now. It's, yeah, it's interesting. You threw me under the bus today for something that I did.

Regarding Prince Harry. Prince Harry. So, yeah, that was a lot to take on board. So that probably rattled me a little bit. But for you listening, you'll probably enjoy that. I don't think I've ever done what you did. Return? Yeah.

No? Really? I don't think I have. No. No, it's not something I generally do either. But, you know. We've got to, like, no. We've got a rice cooker that I could go and return,

but it's the third version of this particular brand of rice cooker we've gone through in about six months. How much rice? Are you cooking a lot of rice? A lot of rice. Look at this body. Are you looking for a new rice cooker? I gave you a rice cooker.

Yeah, it's still sitting out there as well if you want it. Yeah, it goes good. I might take the rice cooker I gave Joel. Yeah, I can re-gift that back to you. Thank you, Joel. What a present. This has been a fruitful conversation. Now you've got a rice cooker that year.

Because you said when you moved into your flat, producer Joel, just a young guy living his best life, you moved into a flat and everyone in all of your flatmates families you know officers handed you a lot of appliances that they no longer needed

in their life yeah a lot of appliance graveyard situations as well and it's like we have so much stuff in our flat at the moment it's

it's lovely though it is great I'm more than thankful it's awesome I was like I could probably start selling some sandwiches but I don't need

10 toasted sandwich makers it's going to be such a mission if we do try and move out of this flat one day because we have about 15 couches nowhere to rely as well 15 yeah yeah we have a couple outside couple in a garage couple in the living room are you an outside couch property okay it's a hypothetical situation okay so let's say you john has given you a rice cooker yeah you don't need it because you've got another one yeah John doesn't in this hypothetical situation want it back

would you be upset if you if Joel was putting that on trade me to buy to sell it like if Joel's putting it out there you're not getting it for free

no no no but not go you're not giving it back to him he's already put it on he's like we didn't need it but I put it on trade me would you be like

oh would you be a little miffed or would you be like oh well, well, I gave it away. I could have done the same thing. No, I'd probably be like, oh. Okay. Because he has not done that. He's proper teared off my generosity.

I haven't, don't worry. Don't worry, he definitely hasn't done that. No. I feel like sometimes with things like that, like sort of smallish, it's just like getting the admin around, getting yourself around to doing that stuff is a bit of a bit of a punish so i don't mind if i give something away to someone and they go and sell it off because i'm kind of like well i had that chance but then i can see how other people might be a bit like no hang on you're gonna sell the thing that i gave you my question would be did you ever have the intention of cooking one bean of rice one grain of rice

but he wasn't going out there go geez i could do with a rice cooker if you've just come to him and gone i don't know what this anymore at which point he could have gone i don't need it and i'll go okay well i'll chuck it in the bin yeah i'd rather go in the bin than he make money off it. Would you? I'd rather it be landfill, ruin the environment, than some snake hocking it off on his dodgy treadmill. I understand him. Have you got a rice cooker?

I could really do that. And then he sold it. But in this occasion, you've just gone, here, mate, have something that I don't want anymore. Yeah, no, he would be like, he's sitting on a treadmill, he'd be Facebook marketplace. He'd be like, meet me out the back

of some shady warehouse out in Penrose or something. I don't mind someone selling it. But, you know, it's each their own. So enjoy the podcast today. There we go. Have a great day. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast.

But a sticky weather coming to New Zealand this week. Which means parts of the South Island are going to get up to about 30 degrees hot. But it's going to bring some rain as well for the north. So 10-day forecast looking very mixed around the country. It's sticky south, eh? Yeah. Stickier than a bloody pack-and-save plastic bag when you're trying to put your kumara in there.

Tried to separate those things. What's that? Nightmare, the bags in the vegetable section. Oh, like just trying to get one open. Oh! Yeah. They're using you. Oh, eco-friendly, save the planet.

Oh, that's good. So, is it, Ben? Is it? Because I'm spending 15 minutes trying to separate a plastic bag with my thumb and my forefinger. Where's my plastic? Plastic just opened, mate. Yeah, we lost a few good dolphins. Yeah, well, that's good.

Suffocated a couple of turtles. But boy, oh boy, I could stick my oranges in there in five seconds. Now, there's a lot of big news happening today. Obviously, the new prime minister, Chris Hipkins, he's going to be sworn in today. So that's big news. But we want to focus right now on smaller news, community news, community Facebook groups, something that producer Bee Humps, you just love. You love looking on Facebook and finding out what people are posting.

Oh, absolutely. That's just, you know, you just get a great, a great representation of who's living in your community. And people are genuinely out there to help others, you know, like, you know, they might have a, have a spare couch and they put it. Yeah. There's good. There's also a lot of moaning.

That's what it's designed for. Yeah. Who's living in your community? Basically a bunch of moaning. Could the person who parked over the driveway, stop parking over the footpath and things like that? You're like, oh, okay. We joined a fun one over the holidays,

the Whangamata one. And I imagine the Whangamata locals just love it when, you know, everyone pours into town over New Year's. To the wanker who left a set of drawers on the corner of Diane and Thompson Street, you're a monster. And I don't even know if the person who left the drawers would see that message.

No, that's the thing. And then everyone's mowing in on the comments. And don't mow someone else's burn. Oh, don't? I'll tell you what. Oh, really? That can really set things off. Okay.

That can really set things off. I need to check it out more often. I'm growing it for the bees. Oh, jeez. But you found a comment yesterday that's going around. Bit of a deal. A deal was going down on the community Facebook group. Yeah, jeez. But you found a comment yesterday that's going around. Bit of a deal. A deal was going down on the community Facebook group. Yeah, this is a beauty too.

So Kerry writes, I have ice cold beers, but I don't even drink beer. Visitors leaving their crap in my fridge. Anyone want to swap for ciggies? And then in brackets, not menthol. So annoyed that people are leaving the beer in there. Yeah, so he obviously has visitors they bring around some beers. But you don't want to be that person going, I'll take these with me

at the end of the night. No, they're being polite. Yeah, but he's like, well how can I use this to my advantage? I don't drink these. So when Ben comes to my house with two borgs or whatever they're called and then all of a sudden my Heineken's disappeared and I'm left with a dozen two borgs. I don't even know house with two borgs or whatever they're called, and then all of a sudden my Heineken's disappeared, and I'm left with a dozen two borgs. I don't even know where, where's two borgs meant to be from?

Denmark. Oh, it's in Denmark. Is it from Denmark? Or is it from Papataui? I don't think I've ever, I've never heard of a two borg. That's just slander, eh? But yes, so this person's obviously left with beers that they don't drink. Yeah. And so just looking to do a bit of online bartering A bit of online bartering, exactly

So there's three Carlsberg bottles A Heineken bottle And nine Heineken cans How many ciggies is he wanting for that? Well, someone, Richard's written down here That that sounds like a pack of 20s Oh, a pack of 20s, right And then he said, thank you for your evaluation

I was thinking more like five or six would do But I'd be thrilled if I got like a pack of 20s. Oh, a pack of 20s, right. And then he said, thank you for your evaluation. I was thinking more like five or six would do, but I'd be thrilled if I got half a pack. Who's going to come over with five or six cigarettes for the transaction for five or six beers? That is brilliant. I think we need to do a regular segment on the community Facebook groups around New Zealand. Maybe you've got one.

Yeah. Maybe you've joined one. Maybe you've witnessed some wonderful interaction between neighbours and community groups. 0800THEHITS. No, don't 0800THEHITS. We can't be bothered answering just yet. Just text us, 4487.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Great gigs in New Zealand at the moment. Last night, Elton John, Christchurch, would have been incredible if you went along. One of the 25,000 people that went along to see Elton John last night, it would have been incredible if you went along one of the 25,000 people that went along to see Elton John last night

it would have been awesome I'm Dildan and Elton John still got it he's still well does he still got it yeah

everyone said they loved it what I was reading online it seemed like it was incredible so yeah I imagine because this is the last world tour right this is probably the last time

you'll be able to see Elton John in New Zealand I imagine that's right so a pretty iconic you see I'll be playing two gigs in Auckland later in the week, I imagine. That's right. So a pretty iconic East Island. We'll be playing our two gigs in Auckland later in the week. I had a question about the stage because we saw it on the news. Do they pack that stage up and fly it around the world?

I'm not sure. Or is it just some local stage? Because that is a lot of carry on. Yeah. Do they come to New Zealand and go, we need this from Highpool and we need this from there? Yeah. Or do you take it around with it? Maybe someone knows.

So you're lugging our bits of Elton's stage around the country at the moment. You can tell us. Ed Sheeran as well started in Wellington. He's doing what we're calling warm-up shows, little intimate shows, which is pretty cool as well. They called him in the article UK's second most famous ginger, which, you know, I was like, oh. But UK's probably most loved ginger.

Yeah, that's right. More importantly. That's right, as well. But he was in small town Wairarapa over the last couple of days, went to Featherston, went to a little bar in Featherston, the Brackenbow Bar, and got ID'd. The lady ID'd Ed Sheeran. She spoke to Brad and Laura yesterday on the hits.

What happened was he come up and ordered some of his drinks and his fries yeah and anyway i thought it was a sting and so i asked him for his id you didn't you didn't i did you you id'd ed sheeran i sure did. And then he, yeah. My boss, John, he looked over and seen his name. In any way. Yeah. And he go, and then he goes, oh, I haven't been eye decent since I was back in the UK when I was 18. There you go, New Zealand. Go on, small team New Zealand.

Dev, she thought she was being in an undercover sting. But I've seen the photo of him at the pub and he's got a hat on. He looks suspicious. Yeah. It does look like, you know, an underage child that the authorities would send in. Well, he probably doesn't want to be noticed by everyone. So he probably comes in with a hat down. Yeah.

You know who he looks like? He looks like one of the kids, a kid actor that like Seven Sharp or The Project would use if they were trying to expose people selling vapes to kids. Yeah. It's a good on her for getting an idea you've got a photo with ed sharon he seemed like lovely and the chili peppers thursday night uh in dunedin as well uh with post malone they play and there was a loophole yesterday where they were giving away giving away giving away now some tickets uh for

free so people got some free tickets yesterday online i think it's been closed now the loophole but how good is that what was the loophole it was basically just an email. You just typed it in, typed in this thing, and through the Ticketmaster website, and you didn't have to enter your credit card. And then it just went, congratulations, you're in. I was like, what? Yeah, so people got free tickets like that, which is pretty cool. That's how Ben scams people on the internet too.

Congratulations. You do it. I see you all the time on social media. Congratulations. You might just click this link over here. We'll take this offline. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Now, we do a little segment on the program before 7 o'clock for the 6 o'clock club. You're 6e and you know it.

It's Joining Jobs. Oh, yeah, that's the 6e and you know it. Thank you very much there, producer. Just like three or four seconds off the pace there. Sorry. But it's still good. Ben brought it back. You referenced it back because of your pedantic and neurotic spirit.

Yeah. But basically you phone us up with a job, the job you do, and then there's 60 seconds for someone to call through and say, I've got the same job as you, joining jobs. If you both get on, you win. Yeah, both of you win a prize this early in the morning. So 0800THEHITS is our phone number. Let's get someone on the phone.

So we're heading to Te Awamutu. Welcome, Robert. Good morning. Morning, Robert. Home of the Finn brothers. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yep, that's right.

The top twins, were they from there? No, they're more Cambridge, I think. More Cambridge. Yes, we're not going to claim the top twins. Yeah, we've got enough of the Finn brothers. That's for sure. All right, Robert, joining jobs. You tell us what you do for a living,

and then we'll start the 60-second clock to see if we can join you with someone else who has the same vocation. I am a dairy farmer. Oh, okay, dairy farmer. We have, in the past, we'll start the timer there, Producer Joel. I am a dairy farmer. Let's get Emily on. She's phoning through from Taranaki. We're live. Emily. Good morning, boy.

Please tell us what you do for a job. Mate, I'm in the middle of milking my cow. Yay! There we go. You both milked some prizes out of us this morning. So well done. We're going to prize each coming your way. Fabulous.

Thank you. And as I like to do, the rich, free-flowing banter. Don't throw it back. See, I just pretty much wrapped it up. And now you're going to throw it back to them. And they I like to do The rich free-flowing banter Don't throw it back I just pretty much Wrapped it up And now you're going to Throw it back to them And they're like

Well okay Have a chat Have some work chat Guys over to you How's it going Oh How many cows do you milk How many cows do you milk

480 480 Nice 180 here Oh okay How many cows do you milk? 480 480? Nice 180 here Oh okay Yeah Hey How about

How about bloody Jacinda? Okay here I wrap you Wrap you guys up Anyway you prime minister today New prizes coming out to you guys It is a hit She got Jono and Ben Wrap it up

Everyone's happy The hits The Jono and Ben podcast A lot of great concerts A lot of great artists In New Zealand at the moment You got Elton John The Hits, you've got Jono and Ben. Wrap it up. Everyone's happy. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. A lot of great concerts, a lot of great artists in New Zealand at the moment. You've got Elton John, you've got Chili Peppers, Post Malone, Ed Sheeran, just starting off some sort of intimate warm-up gigs in Wellington, which look amazing.

I love it when they're here this time of year as well, when the weather's good. You know, this is my big thing, that if famous people are here and the weather's good, I'm like, great. We've put on display the best of Aotearoa for them them i had an idea today that i've got no musical talent so uh i'd be no good as an artist but if i was an artist i would call myself many more because i drove past the billboard today it was like laneways and such and such and many more and i was like even if you weren't at a gig you'd still you you'd still get a shout out on the billboard you'd still get a shout out on the billboard so every concert

is like everything is Glastonbury blah blah blah and many more DJ Manymore yeah so I was like that's my name

that's my name if I've ever had like a bit disheartening if you lumped into the Manymore category though aren't you yeah but if that was your name you're like

yeah I'm Manymore you know Manymore also screams to me like we haven't got any more But we're hoping to sign a couple more Before the gig No many more

It's like when we go on the radio We're like we've got this coming And much more to come We don't know what the much more is to be honest We've got but we have got more to come And that's why I'd like to call myself as a musician Manymore But Ed Sheeran he's kicking things off in Wellington, isn't he?

A few intimate, intimate guys. Every time I hear intimate shows, I'm like, is he going to unbutton his shirt a little bit? Top button down? No, it's not quite that intimate. But it seemed incredible last night. He's doing a couple in Wellington. Then he's playing his big stadium shows. He's got one in Wellington, one in Auckland, Eden Park as well.

You know, so it's going to be awesome. Now, I have a game that he can play with the crowd, particularly at the Eden Park show. Now, this spawned off over the weekend, actually, my dog Milo, tiny little dog. He's 12 months old but still just eats anything, nothing. He hasn't learnt from any of his previous mistakes. Dead flies, bits of his favourite are when your supermarket shopping comes and the paper bags.

Oh, yeah, you'll eat those all day. And, like, our lawn is just, like, it looks like just trash everywhere, all over the lawn, but we're like, it's all important stuff to him. He likes to come back to it, but it just looks like we'd probably be on one of those shows where the neighbours would complain about the neighbour and all the rubbish piling up. But the other day I said to Poppy, my daughter, what's he eating? And she said, oh, he's eating bark.

Eating bark. Eating bark. He's eating bark. He's eating bark. Eating bark. But it sounds like eating bark. So the game is, am I saying eating bark or eating bark? So, you know,

this, full transparency, this idea was created and concepted after maybe six to nine Heineken's. So yesterday, Ben, I road tested it with you. Yeah,

you roped me into it. Roped in many more into the game. And we phoned Eden Park to see if it had any legs. Eden Park, good morning. How can I help you?

Hi there. It's Jono and Ben from the Hits. How are you? Very well. How are you? Good. It's a new year and I've come back with a new game. Oh.

Okay. You like your games at Eden Park, so you might like this one. I'm not sure about it, but over to you, Jono. So it's am I saying Eden Park or am I saying eating bark okay so you have to tell me okay ready yes yes like what other things you could be doing in your day right now but you're doing this so I appreciate it Eden Park Eden Park well a K. Here's the next one. Eating bark. Eating bark. You're good at this game.

You're very good at this game. You're very good. You probably say Eden Park like 20 times a day at least. Okay, I'll do another one. A thousand times. Eating bark. Eating bark. You're right.

She's right. Tell you what, at the moment you're the number one seed in Eden Park or Eden Bark. Excellent. Winners are grinners. Winners are grinners. And you are at the moment. Pole position. You're going to have a great day.

You too. See you. Bye. One for the ages. That'll be back tomorrow. Back tomorrow. Forget about the radio. Anyone else enjoying the radio awards this year?

I think we should have got a clear winner. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Went to the USA family holiday. Oh, jeez. Fan in the USA. Fan in the USA. And I bought back a random item. I purchased a random item,

and I thought it would be a fun little game to play on radio. Someone could win the item and $100 American dollars on oh a hundred the hits you can have a guess right now one thing i did notice in the usa and you know me i'm quite a nervous driver imagine me driving in the usa on the other side of the road even did drive and my brother-in-law had like he had got he got a tesla and so i'm driving not only a tesla which is like a too too much technology it was just like he was like because apparently it parks itself but i didn't try i don't trust it he said just let it park itself because i'm too nervous he's like stop put your foot on the brake well that's what i was doing because i was so nervous he's the only person in the world not

to trust a tesla yeah thousands of people internationally are trusting but you imagine me other side of the road he's a brother-in-law as well. You don't want to come home and go, hey, mate, sorry I crashed your car that you're loaning me. What's your relationship like with him? Is it a solid relationship? He would get on great, but I don't feel like... But he's not going to be cool if you come home

and go and written off your Tesla. No. It's a very, very nerve-wracking experience for me, but I got through it. And you managed to get this item and bring it back. Now, we had a conversation pre-show, which is unsettling me a little bit. You're like, thinking about it, I don't think anyone's going to guess this item.

It's like, I'd say a lot of households around the country would have an item like this in their household. But it's a very random item. It's a Disney item. So, I 100 the hits. You can have a guess now. You can also ask a question and have a guess as well. Here's some of the guesses that have come through already. Is it a piece of sporting equipment?

Is it an oversized pack of Doritos? Basketball signed by LeBron James. My guess is a drink bottle. My nanny is going to have a piano courtier and a nurse suitcase. So we know it's Disney themed. Yeah. It's a

Disney item. Oh, 800thehits. You can win $100 American dollars Yeah. It's a Disney item. I'll have 100 of the hats. You can win $100 American dollars and you can also win the item. Okay. Is it the keys to Disneyland and no one can currently get into Disneyland now? Everyone's waiting outside the gates. When's it going to open? We'll grab the keys. I need the keys.

Gail, you're on. Welcome. Watson, Ben, suitcase. Good morning, guys. Good morning, Gail. Lovely to hear those sweet dulcet tones out of your mouth. What's happening? Just out walking. It's a beautiful morning, guys. Good morning, Gail. Lovely to hear those sweet dulcet tones out of your mouth. What's happening? Just out walking.

It's a beautiful morning for us. Oh, Gail, you're listening to us on iHeart, are you? Yes, I am. iHeart Radio. Oh, nice. Well, what do you think the item is, the Disney item? Does it have anything to do with a certain famous mouse? It does. It mouse? It does.

It does. It does. Is it Mickey Mouse ears? No, it's not Mickey Mouse ears. Okay, well, that's easier for someone. It's a Mickey Mouse something. All right? It's a Mickey Mouse something.

There you go. You're helping somebody out. Yeah. Is it a Mickey Mouse vape pen? I didn't say it's random, but it's's a Mickey Mouse something. There you go. You're helping somebody out. Yeah. Is it a Mickey Mouse vape pen? I didn't say it's random, but it's not a Mickey. I don't know if Disney had diversified into vape pens yet, but hey, it's still time. Tanya, you're on from Auckland.

What's in Ben's suitcase? Let's hope it's not breakable, because shake it round. It has been through some trauma inside that suitcase rattling back and forth. What's your question? Have a stab. Can you use it in cooking? No, you can't use it in cooking.

I mean, no, it's not designed to use in cooking. So no, no. Mickey Mouse salt and pepper shakers? Oh, I love it how you said, can you use it in cooking? He said, no, no, no. But that was my guess, because I did buy Mickey Mouse salad servers one time in the USA, and they were like the hands of Mickey Mouse,

and they didn't really pick up the salad too well. No, because he got quite puffy, sort of like his hands had been stung by 300 bees or something. Hey, good guess, Tanya. Bronnie, you're on from Tauranga. What's in Ben's bags? Are they Mickey Mouse ears? No, Mickey Mouse ears.

We just had ears. A popular choice, though. Lani from Taranaki. Good to have you on, Lani. What's your guess? Is it anything to do with cowboy boots? No, nothing to do with cowboy boots. That would have been a good guess as well.

Very American. All right, let's go for another day, Jono. Let's go for another day. Jono. Let's go for another day. What's in Ben's bags? It's going to be the most talked about radio competition in the market. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. The Oscars is back soon. They've just announced the nominees for the best movies and the actors.

They've come through about five or six times. They haven't nominated who's going to be slapped this year at the Oscars. That hasn't been announced but maybe that's a surprise for the night. That was the best thing to happen to the Oscars since. That's just the best thing

to happen to the Oscars. I can't think of another great thing to happen at the Oscars. That selfie thing that Ellen did before everyone all liked Ellen. No, Will Smith slapped

the highlight. Or the other time where they announced the wrong person, the wrong moonlight to win or something and it didn't win or the you know they had something there again you're not going to be to slap across the face it was a it was a big old power slap too now usually with the oscars and i

don't know if you're the same as us you normally announce the people that are the movies that are winning and you're like well i haven't heard of half of these or i haven't gone to the movies and seen any of these but i have seen seen Fast and Furious, the entire franchise. And that's the thing that maybe loses a lot of people when it comes to the Oscars, because you're like, well, I don't know any of these movies. But I think that one of the coolest things this year is some of the blockbuster movies

that we particularly go to see in the movies are in amongst the nominations. Top Gun Maverick as well is one of the ones in there. It's got a few awards. This is up for Best Song. It's up for Best Movie as well. It's one of the, you know, as well as a lot of

Craft Awards. Avatar. Do you know Tom Cruise has never won an Oscar? No, he's not up for it. No. I'm not sure he's Best Actor. Nominated three times,

been in over 50 films, never won an Oscar. Yeah, so Black Panther sequel, Wakanda Forever, has got a few nominations, so has Avatar as well. Elvis is in there quite a few times, some craft awards as well as Best Movie and Best Actor as well. And there's obviously the artsy ones as well. But that was kind of cool that I thought some of the blockbusters

have kind of made their way in. Have you ever seen any artsy Academy Award winning movie? Ever. I've tried. One year I'm like, I'm going to watch all the things. And you know, yeah. I love Dwayne the Rock Johnson. You're like, where is Dwayne the Rock Johnson?

Where is an explosion? Yeah. Bit of a car crash in a sex scene. Yeah. I've got to hold an actual Oscar on my trip as well. Hold on. Hold on Hold on Where did you go?

Where did you go? Where did you go? No Stop it Stop talking about it No No tell us When you were in the USA

You were in a studio tour Yeah It was like A Warner Brothers studio tour One of the things They go through And they have an actual Genuine Oscar

And they're like Would you like to hold it? You hold it, and you pretend you won it. Where's the studio located? Oh, God. Stop it. Stop it. Ben in the USA.

Stop it. Stop it. Who's hosting the Oscars this year? Jimmy Kimmel. Where's he hosting it? Ben in the USA. All right. Okay. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. In the USA Alright, okay The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast

I'm talking the news right now About ChatGPT A piece of artificial intelligence That's currently taking the world by storm I don't really kind of understand how it works No, it's been explained to us by Maybe ten people in the office And my dense brain can still not wrap

Itself around But everyone's talking about it So we thought, why not get someone on I have maybe 10 people in the office and my dense brain can still not wrap itself around. But everyone's talking about it, so we thought, well, why not get someone on who knows what it is and get them to explain it to us, so hopefully we can understand. And we're joined by Professor Robin Gould from the University of Otago to explain more about chat GPT. Morena, Professor. Morena. Morena to you.

I feel like you've really downgraded appearing on our radio show this morning, Professor. Welcome. Happy New Year. Happy Chinese New Year to you as well, Professor. Now, you've done some extensive research into this AI program. Please dumb it down. Yeah, really dumb it down. Think of your dumbest student and think of people five tiers below them.

That's us. What is this so in in really practical terms uh what this is is um a massive massive pile of data that have been put together by open ai the company that sits behind this technology massive you know huge amounts of data probably all the data that's available out there on the internet. And they put it together in a way in which you can just ask it questions, ask it any question, and it will put all of that information together for you in a really well-constructed format. And so you can ask it to write you an essay on, tell us how great your show is and the

history of it and who are the your show is and the history of it and who are the key people involved and the types of people they talk with, whether they're funny or not, and it would produce you 1,500 words in probably about six or seven seconds. Six or seven seconds? Wow. So this is, I mean, as a professor, this must be worrying for you and other educators that students could essentially write an essay,

complete a project in under 10 seconds. Yes, that's right. And you can watch it. When you do this, you watch it and it just spits the words across the screen like something out of a movie. It's worrying for us and it's worrying globally. And, you know, just even the last 24 hours, there are stories coming in from around the world through media outlets about how universities are thinking about how they respond. You know, it's everything from we should embrace

it, use it in the classroom, make sure our students understand what they're dealing with and how to use it effectively, through to we should go back to written exams, you know, pen and paper in a stark exam room and oral examinations. Certainly for us in the university, it's got us all thinking really hard about how we handle this in the future. And just from a radio point of view, very niche reference here. But our bosses are now just typing in a few keywords and this thing is writing up a 30 second radio promotion, word for word perfect that you

can just hand over to a voiceover artist to read like they don't even have to do the script yeah that's absolutely right if they're doing that right now they you know you're potentially taking up a lot of work that people would manually have done in the past this is where there's also a huge potential benefit a lot of what you might see as fairly menial types of tasks can actually be provided for with the assistance of chat GPT. And so, you know, if you're, you know, almost any topic you're looking at, if you're trying to gather background information,

it can probably do that for you quite effectively. And then you would have to think through that information, how you put it together. And that's where I think about businesses, you know, businesses and all sorts of organisations, how they actually use this to their benefit. Do you know what it was designed to do? Like, what is its real function?

Or is it just so open that it can do so many things from, like you say, it can write an essay or it can write a wedding speech for someone? Absolutely. Yep, yep. You can say I've got 10 people coming for dinner that are from eight different countries and I want five. Five dishes are going to please them all, and it will produce it for you in seconds. Really?

This is just, it's like Google on steroids. Yeah. Yeah, it's quite mind-blowing, really, when you think about it and when you see this in action. I mean, I recommend setting up an account and signing up and just playing with it. But, yeah, I mean, it is mind-blowing. It's really mind-blowing technology.

And, you know, it's been developed by a group of Silicon Valley entrepreneurs, fairly well-known people. Microsoft have invested from the outset in this, and they are looking to ramp up their investment quite significantly. You've got Reid Hoffman. He's the LinkedIn founder, isn't he? He's behind it as well. I guess it's just another step in the march of progress

towards harnessing the world's information and hopefully having it there to be used for good, productive and other purposes, not for bad. No, I hear this and it's frightening. You think of job losses immediately is probably a big one? Yeah, well, there's always that prediction. Yes, you can imagine that some jobs might go, but these technologies, they don't necessarily replace people in the long run.

You're still going to need people to think through how you use information. Well, I'm going to sell on my dad. I don't trust it yeah i don't trust it so you're saying it could write us if we go on there uh shortly it could write us a uh like a an ad why our show is good our radio show is good oh yeah i'm fairly certain wow this is let's put it to the test this is going to be one of those things that we're is just blowing our mind at the moment, but in 20 years, all the young people are going to be mocking us for it. But it is going to really change the way that the world operates, no doubt. And thank you very much for explaining it for us this morning too, Professor.

No, you're very, very welcome. We should have you on every week just so we can keep saying we've got a professor on the show. No, no, always happy to come back. There you go, Professor Robin Gould from the University of Otago. And I'll tell you what, students handing in essays written in 10 seconds, we're going to have a lot of underprepared doctors and lawyers.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. We were just talking to Professor Robin Gould from the University of Otago, who's been researching this artificial intelligence, which is sort of sweeping the world at the moment, called ChatGPT. And basically you can type anything into it.

You'd kind of describe it like Google on meth, wouldn't you? You write anything into it and it can type anything out. Essays, wedding speeches. It could type out a job application. They're using it to write radio ads at the moment. And it does it pretty perfectly. And so there's some concern that students are just going to hey write me an essay boys i need it on my desk tomorrow by nine o'clock you're like mate can have it on your desk in about 22 seconds because it's like i can't get around the fact that's doing it in like eight or nine seconds

sometimes it's just spitting these things out so i've i've logged in you've been having a play around with it i've been having a play around with it. I've been having a play around. And before you said, oh, listen, I would like to write an ad, you know, a promotional ad for our radio program, Ben. You want to chat GPT to that? Yeah, I want to see what GPT will do. So I'm just going to type in here,

Jono and Ben, funny commercial for radio show on hits. Okay. Are you ready for a good laugh, it says? Tune in to Jono and Ben show on hits. Okay. Are you ready for a good laugh it says? Tune in to Jono and Ben on the hits.

These two comedians will have you in stitches. Is this legitimately what it's come out with? With their hilarious antics and on point impressions.

Give us your impression of the Chinese president Ben. Your on point impression. They seem lovely. They seem lovely. That's the impression

I get. Not only that but you'll hear the latest music and entertainment news with their quick wit and undeniable chemistry. Oh, that's okay. Yeah, okay. Join up and bring a fresh take on the world. Don't miss out on the nonstop hilarity.

Weekdays, nine till one on the hits. Okay, so it was pretty good up until weekdays and impressions. We don't really do impressions, but that was pretty good. That was pretty. I mean, it talked us up more than we'd ever talk ourselves up. Yeah. So I'm going to go Ben Boyce fun facts. Fun facts about Ben Boyce.

These are legit. Ben Boyce fun facts. Have you made these up before we start or is this legit? No, it's legit. It's coming through now. Because it feels like these are all going to be gags from you. No, Ben Boyce is a New Zealand television presenter, comedian and radio host He's best known for his work on the popular comedy show

The Radio Hauraki Breakfast Is it busy? Well, yes Maybe there's something you need to tell me after the show I wish, yeah Boyce is also particularly known for transitioning to television And featuring as a guest on the Jono Project

did I did I feature as a guest finally you have a little cameo on my show well thank you for giving me a little bit of a leg up a stepping stone to the industry

it means a lot Boyce is known for his quick wit and offbeat sense of humour often compared to other comedians yeah yeah Brent McKenzie and Jermaine Clement I didn't call it often compared to other comedians Yeah, yeah.

Brent McKenzie and Jermaine Clement. Oh, does it call courts? Who has ever compared you to Brent McKenzie and Jermaine Clement? No way. Have you been comparing yourself to them?

Yeah, like I've said I wish I could be like them. Ben, and this is my favourite. Here we go. Ben. Ben Boyce is also involved in philanthropic work philanthropic work philanthropy oh yeah he's known for his

charity he's supported several worthy courses such as cancer research do a lot i do a lot education and animal welfare I don't like talking about it all the time, you know, but it knows. I want to meet this guy. Same. Geez, I want to listen to this guy. And then I've tried to write in fun, rude jokes about Ben Boyce, and it says, sorry, I can't generate jokes on specific people as it could offend them.

Be respectful and considerate of others when sharing jokes of any kind on a public platform. And it's got morals. Oh, it's got morals as well. There we go. Nearly correct information. Ben's got to don off and do a bit of charity work, but we'll be back. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Let's go.

Jono and Ben with five words for 5K. Stop any time to keep the cash. Thank you. Or play on to win more. We give you five words for 5K. Stop any time to keep the cash. Thank you. Or play on to win more. We give you five words. You tell us the first word that pops into your head. If it matches with us, all those words match with us, you win a whole lot of cash.

Yeah, let's get Todd on from Martin. Morena, Todd, how are you? Hey, guys. How's it going? He's a builder. And Martin, supply chain issues, Todd. Nightmare. Oh, yes and no. If you plan properly, Todd. Nightmare. Yes and no. If you're playing properly, it's not too bad.

I think Jib's all good now, isn't it? Jib's back in the game? Yeah, yeah. Our guys down at ITM are pretty good. Yeah, I tried to banter about that the other day with someone. I was like, Jib's not... No, no, it's all sorted. Now, Todd, from two guys who have no place in the building

industry, how was our building banter then? Fair. Fair. It was quite vague. Yeah, it was, yeah. Based off topical events. That's right. It was pretty mainstream.

Mainstream banter. That's what we like to get. We're a mainstream show. That's right. Okay. Who do you want to send into the soundproof booth, Todd? Jonah. All right.

I'll head on in. Jonah Pryor heading into the soundproof booth, Todd? Jono. All right. I'll head on in. Jono Pryor heading into the soundproof booth. He is inside right now. Okay, Todd, what pops into your head when I say IFTTPOS? IFTTPOS. Card. Card. Comic.

C-O-M-I-C. Comic. Book. Book. Good option. Relish. R-E-L-I-S-H. Relish. Tomato. Book. Good option. Relish. R-E-L-I-S-H. Relish.

Tomato. Tomato. Oh, matching pretty well with you so far in my head. Meme. M-E-M-E. Meme. Facebook. Facebook.

And court. C-O-U-R-T. C-O-U-R-T. Court. Judge. Judge. Good options. Court. Judge. Judge. Good options. Good quick game from Todd.

We'll bring Jono back out of the soundproof booth and see how far you want to play to see how much money you can win. Yeah, now, Todd, you do sound like a genuine, well-rounded, wonderful human being, unlike us two flaky, shallow individuals. So I want to win you some money. What are you going to spend it on? I'll probably put it towards a jet ski. My brother's been wanting one as well. Geez that'd be fun wouldn't it? I'm not cool enough to be on a jet ski.

I've always wanted to go on mine, it looks fun. Jet ski, okay this is going towards a jet ski. Let's win Todd his jet ski. Here's the first word. Word one, $25. Eftpos. Eftpos. Card. Well done, that's $25. Todd dopos. Eftpos. Card. Well done. That's $25, Todd.

Do you want to move forward to the $50 word? Yep. Get it. Word two, $50. Of course, we get this wrong. He gets nothing. So the pressure's back on you, Jono. Comic.

Comic. Book. Oh, nice work. We got $50, Todd. What's happening now? You want to keep moving on? Yeah, we'll go again. Word three, $100.

Relish. Relish. What's that, tomato? Oh, and you'd be correct. Wow. Now, Todd. 100 bucks. Is that going to get you an affordable jet ski?

Nah, it's not. Probably can't even get you a higher jet ski uh nah it's not probably kind of get you're lucky even a higher one i imagine you probably might get some cool stickers to put on the jet ski yeah so we're moving on are we yeah move on all right word four five hundred dollars this is the five hundred dollar word johnny meme meme internet meme internet ah that was a good option i was thinking Meme. Internet meme. Internet. Ah! That was a good option. I was thinking we were all on the same lines. Facebook is what he had.

Facebook meme. Oh, Todd. What was the fifth one out of interest? The fifth one was court. C-O-U-R-T. Court. Court appearance. Ah, but yeah. Oh, Todd, you played a good game,

and unfortunately our $5,000 sits like a lonely orphan in an adoption agency, just wanting to go to a loving family and be spent. But you go and have a great day. Thanks very much for listening in, Martin. We really do appreciate it. Sweet, guys. Thank you.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. One of the huge stresses in my life, I don't know if it's in yours, is looking after sunglasses. Now, I can't trust myself to look after sunglasses. Tax returns and sunglasses, two things that I have no point in my life of even trying to. And I've got to a certain period in my sunglass career where I'm like,

there's no point in me owning a pair of sunglasses over the value of $50. I'm going to lose them. I'm going to break them. Yeah, because you can pay a lot for sunglasses and then you're right. You can leave them somewhere. They're very easy to lose, to break.

I've lost and sat on so many sunglasses. If they were children, I would have been reported to Oranga Tamariki multiple times. Been through more sunnies than Bono mate so many sunglasses you've seen bono does a good thing he just keeps them on that's probably why he keeps them on the whole time because he's like if i take these off i'm gonna lose these sunglasses or sit on them so that's probably why yeah but then if i came into work every day with sunglasses on you're gonna be like oh you look like a knob yeah but at least you wouldn't lose

those sunglasses that'd be the main a knob who never loses a pair of sunglasses yeah maybe you'd be on a helicopter if you look like that so i've got to the stage where i've gone you know what all you're gonna do is buy sunglasses from the one two three and more dollar store oh well hopefully these are good for your eyes that Well, that's the thing. I don't quite know what UV protection the lenses are offering because I can feel my retinas burning. So I'm going to pull them out. And you tell me if these sunglasses look like they were purchased for under $50, and I'll tell you the price of them as well.

See, I can just chuck them in a bag. Don't care about them? Okay. Here we go. Come okay okay here we go here we go how much how much do you reckon these were sorry did you get them off chris hibbkins what are you they do look a little bit like you're trying to be like the new prime minister of new zealand yeah you got your cap on you got your sunglasses on you when he was accosted on the street? Yeah.

Okay, guess the price of these sunglasses. Well, if you paid more than five bucks, I'd be a little disappointed. $4.50. Oh, there you go. $4.50. And look,

no care, no responsibility. No fashion sense either. Oh, producer Behams, you bought him some cheaper sunglasses. How much were those? $4.90.

Oh, $4.90. Put those on. Put those on. These are expensive ones. Oh, look at those. Look at those. Here we go. Oh, how they look.

I mean, hey, if style's not your thing, then cheap sunglasses are the way to go. Yeah. You look like with these sunglasses that I've got eight children and a V8. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Thank you so much for listening this morning, although I am very nervous about this. What's going on? I overheard a conversation you were having in the office yesterday, Ben.

I was peering from around the corner and it sparked my interest that maybe you'd taken part in some illegal activity illegal activity what now i'm gonna hand it over to you but it involves prince harry and the purchase of prince harry's book spear where he's just unloading dump trucking on the royal family. Yeah. Okay. Now I'll hand it over to you. What happened with this book? Okay.

So I think I know what you're talking about. So I bought, I had an idea for a little joke I could do on Instagram, on social media, where I was looking for, I had a flat tire, and I was looking for a spear. And the gag was that I opened up where the spare tire was. And the only thing I had was a copy of Prince Harry's book, Spear. Jesus, I'm glad you came back from holiday. I did this in the hot. I was like, that'd be a funny joke.

And then I went down to the bookstore and I bought the book. And then I did the joke. And then I was like, well, I don't know if I actually want to read the book. And it was quite expensive. It was like 60 bucks. So I didn't even open it because I was too scared of making any sort of damage to the book. So I put it by, you know, put it by the door for a while. Didn't even open it in pristine condition.

And then I was like, the girls were going down near the place one day. And I was like, hey, guys, if you want to take that back, you can. You can spend that money in the store if you want to. You're not getting money back, but you can buy it on something else. And so, yeah, the book was returned. Not damaged, not read, not read. I didn't read it and return it. So this poor fella's just, he's poured his heart out on this book.

Don't say, don't say. Poured his heart out on this book. Not Harry. My penis was oscillating between extremely sensitive and borderline traumatised. He's pouring his heart out. You're right, Producer Joel. He's talking about putting Elizabeth Arden cream on his, you know, yeah.

Bits and pieces. And the only respect you can give him is to put his book in the boot of your car. Briefly, briefly. For a visual pun gag on Instagram. Now, did it pay dividends? Oh, like, yeah, it was okay. Give me the numbers, give me the numbers. How many likes?

I don't know. Because you used your petrol, your time, your money, your disrespected Harry. Probably. For how many likes? What did we have? 790 likes. So, you know, it's, well, that was probably worth it.

It's actually got to do about 30,000 on TikTok or something, I think. So, you know, it's, you know, it's the numbers. And the least you could do to say thanks was read his book. That's all I'm saying. Well, the least I thought I could do was return it without looking like it was damaged. No, but you didn't return it.

I love how you got your kids to return it. Now, my question is, does the employee behind the counter... Oh, 60,000 on TikTok. There you go, 60,000. That's good numbers. They are bloody good numbers. Very impressive. Maybe it was worth it.

60 bucks for the book, 60,000 likes. Yeah, yeah. But then you got your kids to return it. And I'm thinking, well, the employee behind the counter is going, why are two children? Why have they purchased Harry's spear? And then they're returning it a day later. Did they think it was Harry Potter, maybe?

The latest Harry Potter? Oh, this was... You put Ron Weasley on the cover. With no questions asked to your children? Oh, look, I don't know. They came back with some stuff that they got from the store and everyone was happy. I thought everyone was happy, but not

me now. So, 0800, this is what we want to open up. This is the Retail Return Confessional, where you can phone us up and you just say, hey, I purchased an item and maybe I used it and then I took it back for a full refund. Oh, so no judgment? No judgment.

No, you don't even need to use names. We don't even need to say specific names of shops or stores or anything because I have a friend and she would buy clothes, dresses, frocks, whatever, on a Friday, wear them out on a Saturday, and they were back in the shop Monday. She'd wear it. She'd wear it with the label on and everything.

Oh, my God. Okay. The returning but... I sometimes do that with my underpants. The retail return confessional. We'll get into that on The Hits. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. I had Prince Harry's book, though.

That's what I couldn't handle. He purchased Prince Harry's book for $60, used it for a visual pun. The book's spare. He put it in the boot of his car, and the video was, oh, where's the spare tire? You open the boot.

I've only got this. That was the spare. Okay, okay. But great numbers on all platforms. Just look at the numbers. Isn't it really great? We're looking at 60,000 views on TikTok. That's a great result.

45,000 on Instagram. That's a lot. So then what you did after this is you didn't read the book. You didn't keep the book. You didn't even open it. You didn't even pay Harry for the wonderful views and numbers he got you on social media. You went and got your children to return it to the bookstore. No, we're going near the bookstore. So I was like, hey, if you want to take that in, you can spend that money on social media, you went and got your children to return it to the bookstore. They were going near the bookstore so I was like hey if you want to take that in you can

spend that money on some stuff that you want and you know that was still purchased from the store, the store still got to you know I didn't get the money back or anything, still put the money across the counter I just didn't spend it on Harry's book. Yeah again no question no question marks raised over why two little children were returning Prince Harry's book spare but hey. Maybe they'd already read it yeah maybe they actually got in and

go sorry we've already read this one someone bought it for us so we're going to open up the retail return confessional people do it

sometimes they buy items and then they return them when they decide that they no longer want them we used to do it

for the TV show we worked on that's right sometimes we'd buy items for skits and then we'd get a poor production person to take it back to the

store and say, hey we don't want these 15 rugby jerseys or something like that. Because we needed to do a rugby sketch. And sometimes they wouldn't get money back and sometimes they'd get store credit and we'd use it again. And once the conversation is like, sorry I thought I was going to start a team called the All Blacks and then I figured out, oh then I learnt that there was a team called

the All Blacks and then I don't need these jerseys anymore. So no judgement, although we may judge a little bit, but you don't have to use names if you don't want either. This is the confessional. The Retail Return Confessional. We're going to kick it off with Michael in Christchurch. Michael, what was the item? It was an inflatable boat.

Oh, so you took that back to the store? Yes, yeah. Long story short, yeah, it was a them back to the store? Yes, yeah we, long story short yeah it was a beautiful weekend a couple of weeks ago and me and my mates decided we were going to do a bit of a rafting trip down the river we started off with a few

inner tubes which were quite hard to get a hold of, about 15 of us and there was 16 people so 15 tubes, 16 people, so it didn't quite add up, so we were short one inflatable. So one of us shot down to the warehouse and grabbed one of those inflatable boats. You know, they're real cheap.

Yeah, yeah. And, yeah, a couple of kids with us and that, and we loaded that up with a chilli bag full of liquids. And? Yeah, and started at the top of the river. Oh, so you used it, and then did you return it after using it in the river? Not only that, we had it blow out halfway.

And you still returned it? Yeah. How old have you been? You said no judgment? Oh, sorry. And you returned it hold on Ben you said no judgment oh sorry and you returned it oh well that's great there we go

well thank you Michael appreciate your call let's get Mel on welcome to the Retail Return Confessional what was the item Mel? hi

a tent I went yeah I went camping for a weekend down Margaret River and I used the tent. You used the tent, okay. Full refund? Yeah.

So what did you say? What's that conversation like when you go back to the story, you're like, hey, camping's not for me? No, well, I actually said that I, because it was around Christmas time, already had a tent and got gifted this tent. Oh, so you've already got it. That's a good one. That was beautiful. That's a champagne excuse too, isn't it? Yes, it is. Not I forgot I already had a tent.

I got given this tent. Well, thank you for confessing, Marilyn. Is that the only thing you've returned? Probably not. There we go, the Retail Return Confessional, you can text in to 4487 if you've got something you'd like to confess to The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Jon, last night in

Christchurch, yeah, a lot of great concerts at the moment, Ed Sheeran Wellington as well. Rito at Chili Peppers, Post Malone We've almost got too many famous people in the country Yeah. I don't know if we can handle it can we handle all these famous people I don't think we can

I have Prince Harry's book though that's what I couldn't handle he purchased Prince Harry's book for $60 used it for a visual pun the book Spear he put it in the boot of his car

and the video was oh where's the spear tyre you open the boot I've only got this and there's the spear there's the spear okay but great numbers on all platforms.

All platforms. Just look at the numbers. Isn't it really great? We're looking at 60,000 views on TikTok. That's a great result. 45,000 on Instagram. That's a lot. You know?

So then what you did after this is you didn't read the book. You didn't keep the book. You didn't even open it. You didn't even pay Harry for the wonderful views and numbers he got you on social media. You went and got your children to return it to the bookstore. They were going near the bookstore. So I was like, hey, if you want to take that in, you can spend that money on some stuff that you want.

And, you know, they were still purchased from the store. The store still got to, you know, I didn't get the money back or anything. Still put the money across the counter. I just didn't spend it on Harry's book. Again, no question marks raised over why two little children were returning Prince Harry's book, Spear. Maybe they'd already read it. Yeah, maybe they actually got in and go, sorry, we've already read this one, someone bought it for us.

So we're going to open up the Retail Return Confessional. People do it sometimes. They buy items. And then they return them when they decide that they no longer want them. We used to do it for the TV show we worked on. That's right. Sometimes we'd buy items for skits and then we'd get a poor production person to take it back to the store and say,

hey, we don't want these 15 rugby jerseys or something like that. Yeah, because we needed to do a rugby sketch. That was, yeah. And sometimes they wouldn't get money back and sometimes they'd get store credit and we'd use it again, you know? And what's the conversation?

It's like, sorry, I thought I was going to start a team called the All Blacks and then I figured out, oh, then I learnt that there was a team called the All Blacks and then I don't need these jerseys anymore. So no judgment, although we may judge a little bit. But you don't have to use names if you don't want either. This is the confessional.

The Retail Return Confessional. We're going to kick it off with Michael in Christchurch. Michael, what was the item? It was an inflatable boat. Oh, so you took that back to the store? Yes. Yeah, long story short, back to the store? Yes, yeah. Long story short, yeah, it was a beautiful weekend a couple of weeks ago, and me and my mates decided we were going to do a bit of a rafting trip down the river.

We started off with a few inner tubes, which were quite hard to get a hold of, about 15 of us, and there were 16 people. so, well, 15 tubes, 16 people, so it didn't quite add up, so we were short one inflatable. So one of us shot down to the warehouse and grabbed one of those inflatable boats, you know, they're real cheap. Yeah, yeah. And, yeah, a couple of kids with us and that, and we loaded that up with a chilli bag full of liquids.

And? Yeah, and started at the top of the river. Oh, so you used it? And then did you return it after using it in the river? Not only that, we had to blow it halfway. And you still returned it? Yeah. You said no judgment? Oh halfway through. And you still returned it. Hold on, Ben, you said no judgment? Oh, sorry, and you returned it.

Oh, well, that's great. There we go. Well, thank you, Michael. Appreciate your call. Let's get Mel on. Welcome to the Retail Return Confessional. What was the item, Mel? Hi, a tent.

Yeah, I went camping for a weekend down Margaret River. You used... Oh, no judging. I used the tent. You used the tent, okay. Full refund? Yeah. So what did you say?

What's that conversation like when you go back to the story? You're like, hey, camping's not for me? No, well, I actually said that I, because it was around Christmas time, already had a tent and got gifted this tent. or you're like, hey, camping's not for me? No, well, I actually said that I, because it was around Christmas time, already had a tent and got gifted this tent. Oh, so you've already got it. That's a good one. That was beautiful.

That's a champagne excuse too, isn't it? It is. Not I forgot I already had a tent. I got given this tent. Well, thank you for confessing, Mal, and is that the only thing you've returned? Probably not. There we go, the retail

return confessional. You can text in 24487 if you've got something you'd like to confess to. Sharon played his first of his sort of warm up intimate shows in Wellington at the moment. Looked really awesome and he's been spending a bit of time around that region. The stretch, the hammies shows. Yeah and he went into a pub in Featherston in the Wairarapa a few days ago,

and he got ID'd by the lady there who spoke to Brad and Laura yesterday on the hits. What happened was he come up and ordered his drinks and his fries. Yeah. And anyway, I thought it was a sting. And so I asked him for his ID. And then he goes, oh, I haven't been ID'd since I was back in the UK when I was 18. It's always a nice thing as a fully grown adult to get ID'd because you're like, oh, me? I love it.

I love it. Every time I go through the Pack and Save checkout, because they have to check every ID too when you're purchasing stuff there. And the lady's like, I'm sorry, I have to keep checking your ID. And she said, it's not really a good reflection on how much alcohol you're buying. She's like, I've checked your ID six times this week.

I was like, it makes me feel younger every time. I feel like a million bucks. But yeah, Ed Sheeran, he does look like the sort of kid you'd send in for an undercover sting, does he? Yeah, he does. On a fair go or something like that. Now, Chris Hipkins, Prime Minister, new Prime Minister, sworn in today.

And we, thanks to the Official Information Act, were able to garner his first day diary. What's happening in the first day? Yeah, first day. It's a jam-packed day. First day of Prime Minister. So we thought we'd read out some of the things he's doing on his to-do list. Chris Hipkins today, day one. 7.15am.

Okay, so first on the agenda. Google bald jokes for Christopher Luxon. 8.30am. He's going to dye his hair so Luxon can't throw shade back at him. 9.45am. Reminder to shop online for new sunnies from speeddealers.co.nz. 9.nz. He's going to be purchasing a stab-proof vest for backstabbing from the other Labour members.

Text Jacinda, ask when she starts at the UN. Remember, it's stretch your legs, not spread your legs. It's very important. Ask Grant Robertson why he wasn't too keen on the gig. 12.30pm. DM Winnie P to check if we're all G. 12.45pm. Sworn in as PM. Remember, you don't actually have to swear

when doing a speech. 1.46pm. Oh, make a fun speech telling everyone to spread, I mean, stretch your legs. 2pm. Call Jacinda. Ask what she would do now. And there we go. p.m. I'll make a fun speech telling everyone to spread I mean stretch your legs 2 p.m. call Jacinda ask what she

would do now and there we go that's the first day diary of our new Prime Minister so wrapping up about 1-2 o'clock there but hey

that's alright you know he gets into it early