Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: Do We Give Our Wives "The Ick"?

Episode Date: February 8, 2022

Producer Juliet explained to us what the definition of "the ick" is, and we wanted to see if we gave our wives the ick in any way. Ben described his VERY ENJOYABLE shopping after a few beers, and we think we've been culled from our friend's baby shower/engagement party after we already got the invite. Enjoy!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Heads with the Jono and Ben podcast. It's the podcast intro. We've just had the word from Aaron, the producer, who he loads the podcast intro onto the podcast, compiles the podcast, and he just came in singing intro, intro, intro. Intro, intro, intro. To the theme of the conga.

Yeah. Sort of in a nice song manner. But also a reminder of... A passive reminder of get this introduction done. Wouldn't it be nicer if you got your bills handed over? Like that, you know? Power, power, power, power. Rather than just like a letter or a drink to your boat

and you're like... The internet provider turns up. Enter, enter, internet, enter, enter. Every day someone's coming congering into your house with another bill. But then you just start getting annoyed. You go, God, they're happy. They're happy because they're taking my money. Inland, inland.

Revenue. Inland, inland. We started something there, haven't we? Oh, we have. Yeah. You know, I had to, I didn't realize, I'm a contractor now. I've never done this before. You've been in the contracting game for a while.

The contracting game. I've been contracting myself all over town. Contract hits. Contract his body, if you will. He'll do anything. As long as he can claim back his accident. Contract tracing, if you want that, I'll do all that. But I didn't realise ACC.

I've been under the PAYE system. Jeez. It just turned up. It just turned up the other day. It's like, hey, hey mate it's ACC yeah Accident compensation Yeah so yeah they got that bill And that was well that was

Unexpected firstly and A lot like for a job Where we just sit and say words Yeah Do the ACC charge you depending on your The danger of the profession I would imagine Maybe that is Your high tightrope

walkers would be paying a lot more premiums, you would imagine. Yeah. So now we can get injured in the workplace, though, and you'll be covered. Yeah, I almost just want to walk into that vending machine over there, just so I can get your money back. Yeah, probably. Smash my head through the glass of the vending machine. But have you ever claimed

ACC for any injuries? Not doing the radio job, but TV-wise, I don't think either, actually, to be honest. No. Pretty lucky. Obviously, you busted your shoulder a wee while ago. Yeah. You're not contracted then, were you? No, I was under the PAYE system.

Jeez, I could have taken media works to the cleaners. You know, when you think about it, you're like, man, I could have retired. If I had seized the moment and gone, this took place under your watch, jeez, I could have taken media works to the cleaners. You know, when you think about it, you're like, man, I probably could have retired. I could have. If I had seized the moment and gone, this took place under your watch, this was America. I wouldn't be working right now.

You know? Yeah, but that's like Johnny Knoxville taking the MTV or whatever thing for doing jackass stuff. You know, it's kind of like, you know, he's like, oh, I'm about to injure myself because you put me out there with a bull. They're like, well well you didn't have to make a show

about that yeah true but I know what you mean you know I missed an opportunity there you could have

tried there's a two late to file legal proceedings against media I'd say so but especially now

we've talked about it don't get me as your lawyer because I just talked you out of it so get someone who's backing you

Tova O'Brien would probably advise against it. She's like, they're always going to win. Don't waste your money. Alright, well I'm not going to sue MediaWorks then. It's fine. Ben's talked me out of it. Hey, podcast today was fun. It was a fun show today.

We learned about the ICC today which is a little something that if you start a relationship or maybe you're in a relationship it's something that just sort of grinds your gears. Yeah, and it's traditionally, I've looked at the media, it's traditionally a heterosexual relationship. So a niggle, a tiny turn-off that the female has towards the male.

And all of a sudden, he's just going about his day. He doesn't know he's doing anything wrong. But there's one thing that's causing the ick. So that could be enough to not be in a relationship with someone, I imagine sometimes. Turns them off. Yeah. Turns them off.

You're like, he was perfect, except he kissed his mum on the lips, and you're like, you know. And then they're like, oh, that was your thing. I'm not saying that's, you know. Well, I thought that was normal, Ben. When you come to my house, that's what I've always done with Annie. That's what I do with Annie, your mum as well. So, oh, I have to go now.

Enjoy the podcast. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast Ah Ben boys, have you ever looked above and seen a drone hovering over your house? Not over the house, no You feel compromised, don't you? When there's a drone above you anywhere, you feel

like an invasion of privacy Especially over the house, you would Yeah, yesterday it was happening Pervert planes, I like to call them, drones. I always assume a pervert's flying a drone, but I don't know why you do that. Obviously, people do it for professional purposes. Yeah, yeah.

Our friend Cam, actually, he flew drones for the America's Cup. Wow. Like, over the America's Cup boats. That is really cool. And intense. He was like, if I hit one of these boats. Oh, yeah. With this drone, which is like one cool. And intense. He was like, if I hit one of these boats with this drone, which is like a one metre

by one metre, it was enormous, it took off the back of a launch. Yeah, it's my one fun fact I tell about Cam. Yeah, it was like, I'd be very,

whole nerve wracking flying one of those. You could not fly a drone above America's Cup boats. I always respect that because you see them people do it on the TV thing and then they fly it back

to themselves and they grab it and I'm like, oh, they look amazing but that could go wrong. You can't even parallel park. No. They're like flying a drone in the middle of America's cupboards.

So then I just look up at them like, you imagine people flying the drone. They obviously get a vision of what they're looking at in the camera. And all they'd have is just people looking up at them bemused and confused. Yeah. That's all the footage would be. People just staring up at them pointing at them. Yeah. Is that a drone? Oh, yeah, that's a drone.

What's it doing here? And you're always like, what sort of mission is this thing on? At the moment, but jeez, I got some justice yesterday. Have you ever seen seagulls around drones? Oh, they're kind of like... Oh, they're not happy. They're like, stay in your lane, buddy.

For them, they'll be like, who's this? Who's coming along? What's going on here? Yeah, so five seagulls started dive bombing the drone. Really? And took it down. Really? Yeah, big like ocean seagulls. They're like putting the drone in its place.

It was like, it was my turf. Yeah, they didn't put it down over my house, but I saw it get knocked down in the distance. Wow. Do you know that drones have killed 4756 people attack drones really oh like not just people like messing around in the backyard with the drone this is actual like for the purpose of yeah people are just flying them into their forehead they're very hard to fly i've tried to fly a little one once it were and broke a propeller

straight away into a walk you know know, like it's just. Really? One Christmas I bought my son a drone, just, you know, sort of a cheaper one. And we went through three in a day. Yeah. One's probably still flying. There's another story about Cam. This guy said that if you push home on them, home is where they were manufactured.

Like China. No. So his friend accidentally pushed home when they were filming a movie. And it just flew off. Back to Shanghai, baby. Next on the show is the news and beeps. Producer Juliet finds some actual news headlines. She beeps out a word.

We need to work out what's going on. We taste. More people when Prince Philip went into hospital than any other day in 2021. We'll find out what that's all about next after Ed Sheeran shivers it is the hits. Jono and Ben on the hits. The hits, Jono and Ben, 6.14

Wednesday morning. I'm Rachel Jackson-Lees and this is the news. Yes, here's some headlines that aren't just deep wrinkles on my forehead. Juliet, explain what the news and beeps is. I here's some headlines that aren't just deep brinkles on my forehead. Juliet, explain what the news and beeps is. I've found some headlines that I think might interest you and beeped out a couple of words and you guys have to guess what the real full headline is.

But usually you give quite quirky answers. Yeah, I mean, it's not often we hit the nail on the head. No. Sometimes you have. A few times you have. All right, the first news story. More people b****** when Prince Philip went into hospital than any other day in 2021. have a few times you have all right the first news story more people when prince philip went into hospital than any other day in 2021 i'm gonna say more people googled is dr phil dead

and prince philip went to the hospital on that day is it the same person no different now you just hold on ben is this a classic you just getting one guy losing his hair and matching him with another guy losing his hair? Is this what you're doing here? I don't know. I would say more people checked if the Queen was ready to mingle on Tinder when Prince Philip went into hospital. More people wrote a will when Prince Philip went into hospital than any other day in 2021. So this day led to an upsurge of 131% of people applying for wills in the UK. So everyone kind of obviously

saw Philip going to hospital and was like, oh gosh, if he can die, then I must be able to too. But that's quite, you know. That's a very morbid way to start the day. Obviously really sad when it happened, but I guess it does make you think about things that you don't want to think about. Totally, and it's an important thing to do as well. Have you ever received any benefits from a will? No. My wife just got £5,000 from her auntie in the UK.

Really? She just got sent a cheque in the mail yesterday. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Lovely little treat. Yeah, exactly. The next news story.

Cadbury unveils new packaging to stop people from... I was going to say, stop people from finding Willy Wonka's golden ticket and keeping the kids away from the factory because you know what happens when the kids end up at the factory. Some weird stuff. Weird questions hanging over that visit to the factory. I'm going to say Cadbury unveils packaging to stop people from opening a bar of their chocolate and regretting it five minutes later.

Cadbury unveils new packaging to stop people from eating it all in one sitting. Yeah, close. You did. You did. So they've labelled it twist to seal, save for later. So you can reseal the packaging after eating a few bites of chocolate. Who's ever going to reseal? I know.

I'm not a resealer. But this is obviously in the big blocks, right? I actually think it's the smaller bars. Even a big block will get through in one sitting. Well, the photo was of the smaller blocks, but they'll probably think it's the smaller bars. Oh, small blocks as well. Even a big block I'll get through. One sitting. They'll probably, well the photo was of the smaller blocks but they'll probably do it for the bigger blocks because those will be the ones that they'll need it for, right? As long as bags of chips with resealable bags of chips.

Who are you trying to fool? Who are you trying to kid? And the final news story. Germany enlists the help of 700 sheep and goats to promote... To promote New Zealand as a tourist destination. You know, getting the good word out there from fellow sheep. So Germany enlists

the help of 700 sheep and goats to promote meat week at Pack and Save. Germany enlists the help of 700 sheep and goats to promote people getting vaccinated. So they got the sheep and goats to form in the shape of a 100 metre long syringe by laying out bread on a farm. And then they got the sheep and goats to form in the shape of a 100-meter long syringe by laying out bread on a farm.

And then they got a drone to take a photo of these sheep and goats in the shape of a syringe to help people get out. Surely there's better ways. I mean, you think of it. That's a guy hoovering up white powder with a ponytail in an advertising agency who's going, guys, there's only one way we can do this. Hit me out. A giant sheep goat syringe.

How are we going to get them in shape? Bits of bread. Bread. Lay our bread. They rolled with them. Scrolling through your feeds coming up shortly, we look at the big news from New Zealand and around the world. Thousands of protesters stormed Parliament yesterday.

Judging by the politician reactions today, it's unlikely that's something that's going to happen while the numbers here have... Oh, nothing like someone yelling nonsensical stuff in the background of a news cross. It's next, it is the hits. Scrolling through your feed. Take a dash of good looks, a dash of hand sanitiser

and a dash of news, and that's an early morning cocktail I'd like to sip on. Ben Boyce, take it away. Yesterday, more than 1,000 protesters descended on Parliament. They drove in convoys from both ends of the country, and they plan on staying for the rest of the week. So there are hundreds of cars that clog the streets of Wellington. There were hundreds of people on the lawn in Parliament yelling out all sorts of stuff,

including yelling out through this live news cross on News Hub. Judging by the politician reactions today, it's unlikely that's something that's going to happen. While the numbers here have dwindled today, there are still cars parked along the roads here blocking it. Wellington City Council tells me that they won't be ticketing or towing anyone. News Hub! News Hub!

Number one! And some prices marketing for News Hub as well. But reporters and the, you know, live crosses and reporters, they are vulnerable. They're vulnerable. And, you know, particularly with that market, you know, surrounded by thousands of those, you know, those sorts. You're really putting yourself out there for failure. They were trying to ignore what was going on inside Parliament, just an idea. Jesus!

Number one! We need to prepare for winter because, you know, things are going to be a bit of a cocktail of flu season and Omicron and all sorts going on. So they're protesting the lockdowns, the vaccine. Yeah, anti-mandate, I think it is. So just being told, you can't tell me what to do. It's the classic, you know know you're not my real dad situation so are they anti-vaxxers

or does that come under anti-mandate yes yesterday they said they're not all anti-vaxxers right they're just anti yeah

some of them maybe they're anti-mandate and they've been told what to do yeah no one likes being told what to do and that's

I've always said the core issue you can't tell me what to stick into my body yeah some of them would be anti-vaxxers and others would just be like don't tell me what to do and that's i've always said the core issue you can't tell me what to stick into my body yeah some of them would be anti-vaxxers and others would just be like don't tell me what to do yeah don't you tell me what to do uh and this uh story is very cool star wars figurines uh so a lady said her mother died and um she had to sort through some of the items that she found at home she found six star wars figurines uh She was going to put them in the rubbish.

You know, at that time, she was like, I don't know what to do with these. Oh, parents, I can't wait to throw out all the figurines and dolls. Yeah, but a friend of hers went, oh, hey, I'll put them on Trade Me, see what we get for them. This was figurines that her mum had bought in the 70s, still in the box, unopened. And between the six figurines, they've sold for over $50,000. Oh! Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Unopened, and between the six figurines, they've sold for over $50,000. Oh! Yeah.

Oh, my gosh. Unopened collector's items. Well, that's, my son says you've got to have them in the box. Yeah. And even the box needs to be flawless. I mean, you've got into collecting Funko Pops, haven't you? Yeah, but I don't keep them in the box. Do you have them out on display there?

Yeah, in the display, because I'm not really in there for the long-haul collector's items. But yeah, apparently you've got to keep them in the box if you want to. But then I'm like, we go into the shop, there's like another hundred of the same ones. So I'm like, how are these going to be? Yeah, but you hold on to it. And over time, the numbers game, they drop off. Disgruntled parents in a huff throw them out. You hold on to yours, Ben.

And you hold on to that judgment that your wife gives you for collecting Funko Pops. How many Funko Pops have you got now? I haven't got that many, to be honest. I've got a lot of other figurines. But once you dip your toes into that, you know. We went into a Funko Pop store for work and I was like, oh God, he's lost.

He was like a child. He had a sack of Funko Pops he was buying. And that is what's making news in New Zealand this morning. On the way for you, this lady at the warehouse. What happened here with us? I'm glad we could help you.

Thank you, thank you so much. Yeah, well, Ben had stolen her car park and I sorted it out. It was a bit of an issue. No, we'll play it next. Part of our 28 good deeds over 28 days through the month of February. It's Dua Lipa levitating the hits. Jono and Ben. This month we're trying to do 28 good deeds in 28 days. Is Dua Lipa levitating the hits? This month we're trying to do 28 good deeds in 28 days.

Yeah, I mean, so far we've washed high-rise windows, we've washed cars, we've washed dogs, and I'm starting to figure out that just doing good deeds is a lot of washing of things, do you find? But also mowed lawns. We paid for a school camp as well. And here's me just listing off all the great things we've done this month, bragging, Ben Boyce. And it's safe to say we've passed the threshold for Santa's nice list this year already. We went to the warehouse, though, and they've got all the back-to-school stuff.

And thanks to the warehouse, they gave us a couple of $500 vouchers that we could surprise some people, some shoppers, buying back-to-school items with. Yeah, so we were undercover shoppers. Well, you were. Well, I was. I was like, well, going along here, it's going to be confusing enough anyway with masks and what we're doing, but you're like, let's take it a step further

and wear a beret, glasses, and something else. Yeah, gold Elvis Presley glasses and a French beret and a mask. It was, you know, an odd facial combination going on. And so I was skulking around, hiding in the aisles, and we would surprise people with these vouchers. Ben, you were distancing yourself, socially distancing yourself from me. Not for COVID reasons, just for embarrassment reasons. But then I'd come on in with a voucher once you'd made the awkward interaction.

Laurel, $500, we've just given it to you to buy some stuff going back to school. That's going to help me a lot. I've got five kids, a single parent and my kids want me to start school this week on Tuesday but I haven't got their stationaries or anything yet so they'll be back at school next Tuesday and this is gonna help a lot. It's gonna go towards all their stationaries. Oh that's awesome it's really nice for us to do this for you it means a lot. Thank you so much. I don't know what else to say because I'm nervous. To be honest I was weirdly dressed up in Elvis Presley glasses and a French beret.

Yeah, well when you were going psst I was like, oh my gosh who's that? Yeah, you started with a psst, psst. Yeah, like weirdly dressed up and she's like, oh my god don't talk to me, don't talk to me. Please you strange weird man, stop stinging. Oh well I'm so happy it's going to be put to good use. Thank you so much man, stop stinging me. Oh, well, I'm so happy it's going to be put to good use. Thank you so much.

No, you're very welcome. God bless. You too, mate. There we go. That was lovely. And I did, looking back on it, I probably looked like someone

that you would report to store security. So she could go, psst, psst. Hey, hey, hey. As they're walking past, they're like, please don't talk to me.

So then we didn't do any more pissing, Ben. We just went straight out with the next one. Still dressed up, however. Listen, it's $500. $500, I know. Oh, my God. And with six kids, oh, this is going to go a long way.

And I was sitting here watching them. They were saying, can we have that? Can we have that? And I said, how much is it? How much is it? How much is it? You're like, bloody kids, mate. Yeah.

Oh, look what they're holding a scooter skateboard skateboard you want a scooter and she was just asking for stationary i said we might have to wait for next pay we don't have to now we can buy it today we can buy it today well i'm glad you've got school books now yeah thank you and i rang up the schools and I said to them, hey look we're finding it a bit hard, you know, because the whole six are going to school. Six kids is a lot to pay for. Six and you know, especially with masks, because masks are like... They're not cheap.

They're $75 for a pack of 100 at the chemist. So I rang up the school and I said if it's compulsory, what do I do if I can't afford the mask? So I can... I'm glad we could help you. Enjoy, enjoy. Thankory, what do I do if I can't afford the mask? I'm glad we could help you. Thank you. Thank you so much. Enjoy. Go to school shopping. Thank you, guys. Thank you very much. Now, when you go to university and you become a lawyer, you must promise to defend us in court if anything goes wrong.

Sure. For free. For free. I'm going to shoplift this backpack on the way out. There you go. And, you know, I think the court appearance might be coming sooner rather than later following the French beret glasses combo in the warehouse. Yeah, but thanks to the warehouse for that. It was really cool. They supported us and our good deeds by giving $500 vouchers for back-to-school stuff,

which they have in store right now. Yeah. It felt really good. It did, actually. We walked away going, yeah, that was it. There's a feeling like we haven't had much before. A feeling like people went, oh, that was awesome. Yeah.

So Ben had to throat punch an elderly lady on the way out just to bring us back down to earth. Just to balance things out. That is the hits you got, Jono and Ben. The hits. Now yesterday we were also talking about the Queen. She's celebrating 70 years as being the leader, the Queen, the monarch. And we had a debate whether she was the most famous person in the world. And I went, in all seriousness,

I put someone else up for debate that I thought was more famous. Who's more famous than the queen? Dwayne the Rock Johnson. Dwayne? Dwayne the Rock Johnson. They're not more famous than the queen. You don't know any country because the queen is huge in the UK and stuff. But in these countries, they don't back the queen. They don't have the queens. They still go to the movies and watch Dwayne the Rock Johnson You don't know any country because the Queen is huge in the UK and stuff but in these countries they don't back the Queen.

They don't have the Queen. They still go to the movies and watch Dwayne the Rock Johnson don't they? Dwayne the Rock Johnson. He's not more famous than the Queen. There we go.

We even called America like the middle of nowhere. Yeah. And we phoned this it was called Cafe USA and even she said no sugar we know who the Queen is.

Dwayne the Rock Johnson is not more famous than the queen but then you googled it and he is the most famous person on the planet. Yeah well that's what it said but maybe that's celebrity maybe this is in the celebrity realm but I'm gonna say he's up there. Well I'd also googled his name yesterday when we were talking about it and then I got fed all sorts of articles about

Dwayne the Rock Johnson and uh oh he's in a deep cavernous hole and that hole is And I got fed all sorts of articles about Dwayne the Rock Johnson. And uh-oh. John's internet wormhole. He's in a deep cavernous hole and that hole is a giant rock. Facts about how much damage Dwayne the Rock Johnson has done throughout his movie career. Now, this is hypothetical damage he has done to cities, cars he's totaled, buildings he's crumbled. So this is in the movies. In the movies. It's not real damage.

Some nerd has gone and done all the maths. Some insurance assessor with too much time on their hands. You do wonder that, though, when you're watching a movie like that, Fast and Furious or something. You're like, ooh, a lot of damage there. Jeez, he's done some stuff, though, Dwayne. He's burned down a Hong Kong skyscraper.

Oh, in the movie Skyscraper, yeah. Temples have crumbled. Dams have cracked. Cars have crashed. Everything's went up in flames temples have crumbled dams have cracked cars have crashed everything's gone up in flames uh and so here is the total damage bill for his entire movies 12 trillion dollars trillion 12 trillion i mean they've got locked the guy out i mean he's good i know he's going to try and save destruction from things being destroyed, but he's destroying things along the way. Just breaking down the movies, the most destructive movie, San Andreas.

We're talking $10 billion worth of damage. Yeah, but wasn't that some sort of earthquake situation thing? That wasn't all The Rock. You're not going to blame The Rock. You're going to blame the earthquake. Okay, I'll take out Santa. The least destructive movie though, Jumanji. Oh yeah. Only $80,000

worth of damage in Jumanji. Oh okay. Light one. Most destructive moment was in G.I. Joe Retaliation where he caused $2 billion worth of damage. Basically destroying the entire city of London. There wasn't a part of London that wasn't mowed down. They'd be like, well, thanks for coming here, Dwayne the Royal Johnson.

I've saved the day. Yeah, but we have to rebuild for the next 12 months. $950 billion in Rampage. He blew up a space station. Oh, jeez, they're expensive. $15 billion. He's ruined a skyscraper in a movie called Rampage as well. Doom, $10 billion.

He blew up Mars in Doom. That'll do it. That'll do it. And that'll do it for Jono's internet hole. Dwayne Johnson, what he destroyed in the movies. On the way for you, we've got some Spy Entertainment news. Yeah, Jennifer Garner was dumped the day after her first kiss. The reason why, I'll tell you next.

Spy. Know what's up. Spy.co.nz. All right, time to teach these celebrities a lesson for being all rich and famous. Juliet, what's happening at Spy? So Neil Young, who is one of the people who basically threatened to Spotify, it's Joe Rogan or it's me. And then his music was... And basically threatened to Spotify, it's Joe Rogan or it's me. And then his music was... And they said, well, it's

Joe Rogan. Yeah. He has openly told Spotify workers to quit their jobs. Get out of that place before it eats up your soul, he said. So he's obviously not backing down. Thinks it's a bad place to work. I've noticed a lot with Spotify, a lot of the musical artists

are sort of saying how little they get paid for the amount of streams that they do. They'll get their songs played thousands and thousands of times and only get a very small percentage of money back. And then they look at someone like Joe Rogan, who's getting paid $100 million to do his podcast on Spotify. And I've noticed there's been a little, you know, some talk in the music industry, not from everyone, but a few artists going, well, hang on,

you're paying this guy $100 million, and I'm getting a set per song. My song's getting listened to hundreds and thousands of times. That's so true. So it's an interesting way that the business is sort of set up in that regard. Yeah. Well, I guess that's why most artists these days, well, pre-COVID, would always go on tours, because I think tours was the big money maker for them.

That's where it probably is. Yeah. And then you go, well, what are you if your music's not on there? They need it. It's an ecosystem that needs to be fed both ways round. Thanks Neil Young from the Deirdre in accounts.

She hands in her resignation today at Spotify. Is Neil Young going to pay her mortgage? True. And speaking of, Joe Rogan did actually get offered $100 million by a video streaming service called Rumble to leave Spotify and go over to them. I don't know if he'll take it, but that's a big chunk

of money. I think it's matching basically what he gets paid by Spotify. Sorry, just quickly, just here I just googled, if your song plays a million times, get a million streams on Spotify you get about three grand, according to this. Oh my goodness! 0.003 per per times that per stream that's crazy yeah so that's about what we're paying juliet isn't it yeah getting our money's worth

out of the millennial yeah um and jennifer garner says she was dumped the day after her first kiss uh she name dropped the guy his name's matt crittenden. Oh, full name, first and last. Hello, Matt Crittenden. I know. How have you been in the last 25 years? She's so publicly shameless. But apparently, when they kissed each other, he tried to go further than a kiss, and she swatted it away.

He broke up with her the next day because he said she was a prude, which she says is a badge she's worn proudly ever since, and she was 18 years old when that happened. Yeah, well, Matt Crittenden. Good on her. Suck on that. Yeah. Yeah, well, Matt Crittenden. Good on her. Suck on that. Yeah, shame on you, Matt Crittenden.

First, she would have done the middle name if she had remembered it as well. Exactly, exactly. And that is your Spy Update for the South, and we can head to thehits.co.nz. After 7 o'clock, John and myself, we received an email that we'd like to read out to you, Juliet, and get a gauge. Okay. Yeah, it's rattled us a little bit.

Have we been uninvited from something? Okay. Cult. Yeah. And I know it's happening quite a lot at the moment because people have to restrict numbers for COVID reasons, but I feel like, are we in this case, in this category? Are we the chewy, gristly fat on the sirloin that they're trying to cut?

They're trying to trim the fat, and we're part of it. That's after seven. It is The Hits. Breakfast with Jono and Ben. It's The Hits, Jono and Ben. Now, we've received an email, Jono, haven't we? It's just come through and it's rattled us a little bit. Yeah, well, Julia, we'd like to bring you in on this one as well.

Oh, God, I'm scared. No, it's not. So this is our final week, all three of us. Oh, God. No, no. Turns out things haven't gone well. Right. And that's why we're rattled.

We got an email over the holidays from a gentleman we used to work with, a friend of ours, Andy, who... We worked together for many, many years, Andy, and Andy and the two of us, didn't we? Yeah, and he's like, hey, guys, great news. I'm having a baby and getting engaged. So he's ticking boxes all over town. And he's like, we'd love you and your families to come and celebrate with us

on this date. Which is this weekend on sunday it's happening so it's a baby shower and engagement party ben you said this is great news i'll be there and i said we're going to shower the crap out of that baby i'll put it in my calendar it's all there it's all happening family we're going to come now we get an email this morning that says hey guys about our plan to our planned get-together this Sunday. Unfortunately, with Omicron in the community, we've decided to hold off on the baby shower engagement, too.

Sorry we can't enjoy a drink. We'll celebrate another time, maybe. So this is just an email, like, because you look through and you're like, has this been sent to everyone? Yeah, or are they culling? So, yeah, this is what we're worried, because Because this email has just come through to the two of us. You and me? Just to Jono and me.

Are we beyond the 100-person threshold? Yeah. And have we just been uninvited? Oh, that's so awkward. Do you think this is the case? Okay, when did he first send the email? New Year's, around New Year's. Oh, okay.

So it's been a while. It's been a while. But we were last to be invited, I felt. Do you feel? I feel like other people were invited before us.

I feel like Andy and I got a rich history cane to my wedding, you know? Oh, you know, the come... But there's a hundred

more important people than you, Ben, in his life. Well, there may be, you know, potentially there could be 50 couples as well. He's just sent it

to you guys. Oh, no. Yeah. That is... Red flag. Red flag. Where is it yeah that is that red flag red flag where is it I can do red flag

symbols on my email here can I I'll flag that one no do you know what will be the telling sign is this weekend if you see on other

people's social media they're having a big old celebration without you but he could get he could send out another email to his other group

you know the top 99 top 100 just go hey guys just keep it just keep it a little you know low key that's a little, you know. Low key. That's so awkward, guys.

I don't want to wait. I can't wait till this weekend. Do we call Andy and find out? Do we call him? Is that even more awkward, Julian? Is that awkward? No, let's do it. Should we? Well, let's decide.

I don't know. Maybe, I don't know now. Do I want to know or do I not want to know? Shall I call him? We'll call him from my cell phone. Okay. So he doesn't think it's a radio thing oh should we call him hey you reached andy

oh okay now suspicions are being raised. Okay, should I ring from my, let's plug my number in. You ring from your phone. Let's see if that works. Are we going to get double culling here? It's ringing. Hey, you reached in. Even quicker.

A quicker culling. Oh my goodness. All right, okay We will follow this saga Rolling coverage of Have we been culled From a baby shower Slash engagement party

Throughout the morning Wow But in the meantime Make us feel better Have you been culled From an event at some stage? Uninvited Ditched from a bridal party

Not invited to Christmas We want to hear your calls 0800 the hits 4487. Standards are text-based to apply. It is the hits. You got Jono and Ben. Jono and Ben. It is the hits.

Jono and Ben, 714. We wanted to know this morning, have you been uninvited to something? We were, and we feel like it was not really for the reasons perhaps it was portrayed. Yeah we were invited to a baby shower slash engagement party and we received an email this week to say that unfortunately due to Omicron spreading in the community that the event

would no longer be going ahead and we'd hopefully catch up for a drink at some other point. How big is this baby shower? Have you ever been to a baby shower with over 100 people? Yeah I'm you ever been to a baby shower with over 100 people? Yeah, I'm thinking we're past the 100 threshold. 100 people? But like you put it before, 50 couples, they bring kids, you know, the numbers, they bulk

it. All of a sudden it's a super spreader event, Ben. Yeah, right. I feel like we've just been called and it's going on without us. Yeah, I'm kind of with you and Juliet thinks the same thing, particularly because we just tried to call Andy who invited us and he blocked us twice, both of us. And we called from kind of with you and Juliet thinks the same thing, particularly because we just tried to call Andy who invited us and he blocked us twice, both of us and we called from both of our phones as well

so it didn't even look like a private number. I know. So have you been viciously culled from an event? Alessandra, you're in Kaipoi, North Canterbury. Welcome to the program. Hi, how are you guys? Really good to have you on New Zealand's Breakfast, matey. What were you culled from?

So there was a whole Facebook group and a Messenger group chat for my primary school's five-year reunion. Pretty much all of the class was in it, and when the last group of students got added in, they decided to kick out me and my small friend group. Oh, you've been culled from the school reunion. But you went to the school. I know.

You're like, I went to the school. Why can't I be part of the reunion? I didn't think I'd done anything wrong, but okay. Wow. Are you having a reunion five years after leaving school? Yeah, we just thought we'd have a wee party and it was going to be great, but I guess I wasn't invited. That's a quick turnaround for a reunion, too. Yeah.

What have you been up to? Five years? I've barely just got over. I'm not missing you just yet oh alessandro yeah cut cut from the list you were the chris hipkins and grant robertson to jacinda's wedding list viciously killed thank you very much for your call great text here on four four eight seven i went to mycé's family's dinner and his grandmother didn't like how short my skirt was. Oh, really? And I have been uninvited to any future family events. Oh, my God.

For the skirt? That's outrageous. Inappropriately dressing. Oh, my goodness. Grandma is culled. Now, we're going to give Andy one more go. This is the guy who we think has uninvited us from his baby shower slash engagement. We'll plug my phone in, Juliet, and we'll go back through.

Hopefully he answers. Hello, Andy Spears. Oh, okay. We've got an answer this time. Yeah, he hasn't screened our calls. Oh, he's still answering. Okay. You hear these two familiar voices?

I see how it is. I hear these two familiar voices all bloody talking all over each other. That's what we do. That's our thing. Andy. Yeah, exactly. Have we been culled from the baby shower? Slash engagement.

Look, I couldn't. I just, no. We're reading between the lines of your message that was just sent to the two of us. It did seem like maybe the limit had crept over 100 and we were expendable. I've got, wait for me, thanks, Stu, I've got to go. Oh, hang on.

Have we resolved this? Should we call you back? Yeah, we'll call you back. Maybe tomorrow. Try me tomorrow. Okay. All right. And it continues.

Take from that what you will. Yeah. 20 minutes time. Your chance to win $5,000. It's a game we play every morning. Five words, 5K. You're welcome. We're not going to cut you out for playing in that one.

It is the hits. You've got Jono and Ben. Scrolling through your feed. There's nothing this man won't do for the news, apart from work on it after 9 o'clock in the morning. Hey, it's Ben Boyce. What's happening? Yesterday, Parliament was back,

and Jacinda Ardern basically quoted Game of Thrones with basically this saying. And winter is coming. Yeah, she said prepare for winter. That was her big message yesterday in Parliament Jacinda Ardern It's going to be flu season It's going to be Omicron

The forecast is already estimating So many cases It's kind of a little bit depressing Talking about it So let's not talk about all that Are we going to smokescreen that? Well yeah You know the steps we all need to do

To hopefully make it a little less horrible for us all She was ramming home the boosters, wasn't she? Yeah, the bloody vaccine mandate, this mandate, that mandate. I'm going to go and hang out with my mates outside Parliament after this. And residents of West Auckland say they're once again being basically tortured

by the sound of songs coming out car speakers. Now there's a whole lot of cars that park up pretty much every night near the concourse in Henderson, and they blast music through speakers. A whole lot of speakers outside their car. Yeah. So, you know, the speakers that you'd find at an A&P showground

where they'd announce, oh, there's a missing boy here with a blue shirt. If you want to come and get him, I mean, I was at the hot dog stand. Those speakers, but 20 of them stacked on one car. There's a whole community, and they battle off against each other as to who has the loudest. And it's kind of the speakers that Tim Shadbolt would stand on a flatbed truck and say, vote for me, for me.

Yeah. Those sort of speakers. Have those attached to the car. Now, there's a whole lot of range of music that apparently they play throughout the night, but one particular artist is really waking people up and getting them upset, and that is Celine Dion. Now this coming out, because they're not very bassy. It's got quite

high on the treble, isn't it? Celine Dion coming through in treble at 3 o'clock in the morning. I can understand how they're getting frustrated. You know, waking up kids, waking up families, and they're at breaking points, so you feel sorry for them. Particularly listening to Celine at that. Celine's heart will go on, but these sound competitions might not.

Here's some audio of them. That's what they sound like, the speakers, yeah. So imagine Celine bursting through that. It would be traumatising. Well, yeah, on that note, The Guardian actually a couple of days ago, a publication released songs that the US Army use, common songs that they use to get prisoners of war to talk. So these are the songs that they will play on repeat

to basically have their prisoners to say, I've had enough, I need to talk. Christina Aguilera, this is one of the songs they play. Dirty. It's just like form of torture. Yeah, basically. Enough, I Need To Talk. Christina Aguilera, this is one of the songs they play. Dirty. Is this like form of torture? Yeah, basically. If you hear it on repeat. I could go at least three days of Christina Aguilera Dirty.

That's a good song. Metallica, Enter Sandman is another one. Apparently they play. And that's a form of torture as well. That's what Ben said about working at The Rock. That's why you had to come here. And this one, Barney the Dinosaur on repeat. Apparently this is the most common one they will play.

Yeah. At what point does, you know, your leader of your terrorist organisation, day four into Barney the Dinosaur, he's like, okay, I've had enough. All right, here's where the bombs are. No more Barney. Here's what we're going to do. And that is scrolling through your feed this morning.

We've got $5,000, as we said before, up for grabs very shortly. That's in 15 minutes on The Hits. Jono and Ben on The Hits. I did something over the weekend that people normally only do in the privacy of their own home but i did it as i said before irl in real life as i like to say you don't have to keep stipulating the unreal life yeah through lockdown a lot of people were probably doing

this and this uh you know and people do it in the weekends where you know maybe you've had one or two drinks and you get online and you do some online shopping and you sometimes buy purchases that are amazing and other times you're like why did why did you wake up the next morning you're like oh god i've got a light winged aircraft which happened to a friend of ours yeah they're not a heavy winged aircraft just the light wing so it was accepted uh but on the weekend i went uh basically what i like to call tipsy shopping at kmart uh you know so we were walking walking home from so you had some beers and went to kmart this is a bleak reflection on your life remember there was a time you'd have some beers and went to Kmart. This is a bleak reflection on your life. Remember there was a time you'd have some beers and go to a nightclub?

It was unplanned. Hey, who wants to go to Kmart, guys? I guess. So we went out for family dinner over the weekend. And so I make my family walk home. That's what happens. Hey, we can walk home. It's like 30, you know.

Let's have a walk. And you make them bike everywhere because they've bought bikes. Yeah. So it's too late for biking, but not too late for walking. So we're walking home and we walk past a Kmart store and one of my daughters noticed it said open till midnight. And I'm like, who shops at 8.30 on a Saturday night at Kmart? Well, Dad does.

And I'm like, well, we do. Let's do it. Who's with me? And I would say, what a wonderful experience. Like going in at that time where, you know, you had one or two drinks beforehand, you're like, well, this is fun. Filling up a shopping cart in IRL in real life.

Yeah. And all of a sudden, all of the objects look a lot more fun than they actually are in real life. Yeah. And you sort of end up with a 12-person tent and a dinner plate set. That's so true. I bought a bed for the dog. Yeah, I've thought about end up with a 12-person tent and a dinner plate set. That is so true.

I bought a bed for the dog. Yeah, I've thought about the dog. You know, we bought a bed. I bought a three-pack of juggling clubs. So I'm going to learn juggling, guys. Oh, God. That was what there.

A piñata. We got a piñata. No one's having a party, but if we do, there's a piñata. A Homer Simpson cap. It was very exciting. It was an exciting experience.

It's like you'd been given 60 seconds to shop and came out and just grabbed everything you saw at the first. And then we had the crazy family pushing a trolley home, were you? 10 o'clock at night.

Oh, they're that family. Yeah. I was thinking it'd be a great TV show. You know, watching people have a couple of drinks and then just see what they buy. Yeah. You know, like, not that I was in a really bad, but you know, you're just a bit more like,

you're abusing people. Yeah. You know one other thing about your manchester yeah but i was talking to a mate over the weekend about it and he was saying that we did this and showing him some of the stuff and he was saying that he did it when he was traveling in in la and he really wanted to go to a lakers game and he had a couple of drinks and he was like found these tickets online and he was like yeah great i'll buy four tickets for this game that's 75 bucks each and then he realised later it was for a game like two days before

the game had already gone and he paid 75 dollars times four for tickets oh my goodness that's a good price for tickets for a game that's already

been he was thinking oh great it's a bargain great these tickets are worth a whole lot more than this and didn't realise

in his state that I noticed Kmart some Kmarts are open 24 hours 24? Yeah, they are Who is waking up at 3 in the morning and going You know what, I might go and get some towels Who is shopping I've got enough towels for the morning

Text us, 4487, have you shopped at Kmart Between the hours of 12 and 6am What did you buy I'd love to hear from you And are you a serial murderer Stephen, have you shopped at Kmart between the hours of 12 and 6am? Yeah. What did you buy? I'd love to hear from you. And are you a serial murderer? On New Zealand's Breakfast, it is the hits. You've got Jono and Ben.

It's Amy Winehouse. It is the hits. You've got Jono and Ben on your Wednesday morning. Five words for 5K. You're just five words away from $5,000. Game of Word Association. We play every morning at this time. We tell you five words, you tell us what pops into your head. If we match all five words without five words, you win $5,000.

Over $50,000 we gave away last year. Wow. That is a lot of cash. So far, not even 50 cents given away in 2022. Oh, nothing this year, right? No, but let's hope it goes to you, Emma. Today in Hamilton, how are you? I'm good, but let's hope it goes to you, Emma, today in Hamilton. How are you?

I'm good, thank you. How are you guys? How's the admin and the administration game that you work in? Yeah, busy, busy. Yep. Got any more questions to follow? Spreadsheets and emails. So much admin, a lot of admin. So many admins.

Great stuff. Emma, 5K, what are you going to spend it on? I thought it would be nice to take the family for a road trip down south. We've not taken the kids to the South Island. When you go to the South Island, you're like, why haven't I done this before? When you drive around that beautiful island, the beautiful South Fair Boys. It's a lot of admin that you've got to do. You'll have to book the flights, accommodation.

But you'll be good with admin. All right, your next bit of admin is to decide who to send into the soundproof booth, Jono, Ben or Juliet. I think we're going to go with you, Ben. Oh, Ben's heading in. We'll head him into self-managed isolation in the soundproof booth. Don't forget to scan your QR code on the way in there, mate. And it has become a location of interest.

That's if you're interested in winning an obscene amount of money, Emma. Let's get into it. First word that comes into your head that you need to match with Ben. When I say camembert. Thanks. Do you love a camembert, Julia? Do you have a fan of a camembert? Big fan.

Big fan of all trees. I do like Chesedale slices as well. They're pretty good. Emma, I do like Chesedale slices as well. They're pretty good. Emma, do you like Chesedale slices? Yes, they're not bad. I'd rather the camembert though. Pencils word number two, Emma. Case.

Pencil case. Let's go into wallet. Ooh. Money. Money. I had that as well. Three from three with me. Oil.

Can. Oil can. And the fifth word for Emma in Hamilton who would do all the admin and take her family to the South Island is cone. Cone. Cone. C-O-N-E. Oh, there's two. I'm tossing up between road cone and ice cream cone. Both good options.

Yeah, yeah. Let's go ice cream at summer. It's ice cream cone, okay. And let's release Ben Boyce from the soundproof booth. He's passed his rat test and we've let him out of isolation. Ben, Emma did well. Oh, okay. Really well.

Ju, how many did you match with Emma? I think I got four. I got five. Did you? And if she did one more got four. I got five. Did you? And if she did one more, we would have got six. We should have chosen you. Let's get into it. First word. Camembert. Cheese.

Pencil. Case. Wallet. Money. I'm going to jump into word number five Why's that? Cone Cone?

I'm looking at one right now But is that Oh no, I can't answer any questions Road No! I'm looking at three road cones Just out of the studio Oh no, I can't answer any questions. Road. No! I'm looking at three road cones just out of the studio. Yeah, they're directly outside on the floor. There's four of them actually.

It was ice cream. Oh, that was, yeah. And what would you have said for oil, out of interest? Olive. I'll go. Well, you should have picked me, Emma. I would have matched. We would have kept going.

I would have matched 22 words out of 22 words with you. Oh, sorry. Hey, you go and do some admin. Have a great day. Thank you very much, you guys. See you later. We've got spy entertainment news on the way. Yeah, the Oscar nominations have come out,

and New Zealand, time to celebrate, baby. We've done very, very well. It is the hits. You've got John O'Benn. It is the hits. John O got John O'Benn. It is the hits. John O'Benn on a Wednesday morning where thousands of protesters are basically camping out on the grass outside Parliament.

Yeah, I do love the commitment of the protesters, you know, taking annual leave. You know, there's time away from family, friends, making signs. Yeah. You know, some great signs out there. And I saw one photo of Jacinda, probably an unflattering photo. They always pick the worst photos of her, don't they?

And they're like, you traitor. You know, they've got to come up with all this stuff. Paint supplies, big bits of wood, cardboard. Arts and crafts are really working hard, aren't they? Let's see some Spy. Spy. Know what's up. Spy.co.nz.

Alrighty, let's hand over to Dwayne Johnson because she's about to rock some celebrity careers. Juliet, what's happening? So the Oscar nominations have come out, which is always quite an exciting time. It always tells you basically what the movies you need to be watching are for the year. Or what the movies that are too intellectual and intelligent. Yeah, I know what you mean, actually.

Sometimes it's like that, but not all the time, right? Yeah, so obviously you've got Kristen Stewart got a nomination for her portrayal of Princess Diana in the movie Spencer. Billie Eilish got her very first Oscar nomination for her song In No Time to Die. Surprisingly, House of Gucci's Lady Gaga didn't get anything, even though she was nominated at the Golden Globes, the SAG Awards, Critics' Choice, and BAFTAs,

but didn't get nominated for an Oscar. Snubbed. Snubbed. It's a snubbing. But behold, New Zealand we have done very well. Jane Campion has 12 Oscar nominations for The Power of the Dog, which was the movie that was filmed here in New Zealand with Benedict Cumberbatch

and Kirsten Dunst. It's basically a western drama about toxic masculinity, sexuality, and how it can lead to a person's destruction. It looks very good. I wonder what little lady made these. I did, sir. Open up the gate, let him out You sure he's not ready?

Go on, let him out It's just a man meter Only another man Well there we go So it's also got Kirsten Dunst in it Doesn't it? Yeah it does Yeah and made for Netflix

Yes on Netflix Yes very true So if it wins it it does. Yeah, and made for Netflix, too. Yes, on Netflix. Yes, very true. So if it wins, it'd be the first Best Picture win for Netflix. Which is unreal. So sort of changing the game away, the movies are sort of broadcast, I guess, in some regards. Yeah, so 12 Oscar nominations for that. That was Best Picture, Best Director, Best Original Score,

and basically all of its top actors in their own categories. Joan Campion, shout out to her. Yeah. Wow, there's so many achievements over the years. There's five facts you never knew about Jane Campion being voice. All right. Did you know her name was originally Jane Champion? Oh.

And she got the H, how New Zealand is this? She got the H removed by the New Zealand government in 1987. Why? But she is Jane Champion. She is Jane Champion. She's like, I don't want to be. She's our Jane Champion. By the government. Let's talk it off.

No, no, she's gone. I don't want to be known as Jane Champion. Can you take the H away from my name? And the government's like, you know what? That's a very Kiwi thing to do. So humble. So humble. Any other facts?

Well, there's four others, but I felt some disdain towards my five facts. My five facts. I'd love to hear these. Let's do these tomorrow on the show. I'd love to hear more facts about Jane Campion. An internet wormhole. He loved the Jane Champion. He's champing at the bit for more.

And that is your Spy Update for this hour. For more, you can head to thehits.co.nz. After 8 o'clock on the show, we find out what our wives really think about us. Why are they telling us on the radio? Why isn't this in a therapy session? All of these questions and more answered after eight. The Hits.

It is The Hits. Jono and Ben, good morning. Thanks so much for hanging out with us. We learned a new saying this week, a new word. Yeah, and it comes thanks to producer Juliet, who's educating her two work dads on hip new phrases and sayings. She's doing it IRL, in real life. The thing is with me, when I go learn something like

IRL, I always repeat what the thing is after. Yeah, you go IRL in real life. As if to say you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm up with the lingo, mate. But then, yeah, just to help people out. But then you've said in real life in real life. There was no point in even creating

the acronym. I know. I notice I do that all the time. The few words that I do know, I just repeat it again. Well, IRL in real life, Juliette. Can you please tell us what this new term is? The ICK. The ICK. Now, do I need to go to a chemist again?

No, you don't. The ICK basically is usually the feeling a female gets towards a male traditionally early on in dating where the male does something or says something and you're just like disgusted by it. And sometimes it's really normal things. You'll just like get grossed out by like some things that guys do and you're just like, can you not? So could be like a little thing that would sort of put you off a prospective partner. Yeah. Okay. So this is a really good definition of the ick

if you're out to dinner and the guy eats something hot and then he makes a sound at the dinner table if I have some hot meat and I put it into

my mouth too early I go and then you always feel like you've got to swallow it you could just spit it out yeah another one would be

when guys have long fingernails I just don't like that so that could be your thing that yeah you're just like no guys need to have short fingernails what if i call my mum mummy yeah that's the worst thing ever do not do that so you can't add uh why at the end of any like doggy little doggy woggy marginal because girls love dogs so seeing a guy with a dog actually could be quite good. Another one would be if you're eating like pasta and you know when you get the spaghetti

bolognese red stain around your mouth? But you don't know that! You know you're potentially going out and like four days later you're like, he's still got the stain around. Can I just say on behalf of all guys, we think you're all perfect. I can't think of any flaws.

Ben, you? Can't think of anything. Absolutely. So I don't know why this is going on behind our backs. Apologies. It's just our lips. So we've just discovered this. Yeah.

And now we were given a bit of a project by producer Juliet. She was like, go home and ask your wives, you know, if there's an ick that they have about you. And one thing that sort of makes them go, oh, okay. Yeah, so I recorded Jennifer. So there's this thing called the ick, and it's things that turn off girls about guys. So what's the ick for you when it comes to me?

When you mansplain the ick to me. How long have you got? That was very good. That was outstanding. So good. Turns out there is one. Ben and Amanda, what did she say? To be 100% honest, nothing.

She could not think of anything. So I've got nothing. I was like, hey, I must be top marks. Flying cutters, nothing. She could not think of anything. So I've got nothing. I was like, hey, I must be top marks, flying colours, nothing. She couldn't come up with a single thing. Did you forget to record it? No, not at all. No, there was nothing that she could think of that made her ick. Do you ever run with your backpack on?

Because that's definitely in it. Okay, all right. There's a toy story for a backpack. You had your time to talk about this. We're not in a relationship. Spaghetti bolognese mouth. Yeah, so I uttered the hits of 4487 on the text. Do you have a nick?

Is there something that you go, oh, this is the little thing that kind of would sort of put you off a relationship. We'll do that next. It is the hits. You got Jono and Ben. Ben, I mansplained that all perfectly just before. I didn't need to do that again. Every time you come around. The hits. Jono and Ben. You're on the hits, Jono and Ben Ben, I mansplained that all perfectly just before I didn't need to do that again You're on the hits, Jono and Ben We're talking about the ick this morning

Producer Juliet, you introduced us to this word Yes, basically early in a relationship traditionally When the man does something and the woman is disgusted by it It's the ick And they can be quite normal things But just when a boy does it or a guy does it, it's a bit like, eh. Yeah, well, you know,

you've got a lot of us feeling quite self-conscious about ourselves right now, so thanks for that, Juliet. And probably you're going to go on your next date and the poor guy is just going to sit there, not eating anything, not breathing, not knowing what to do. Just sitting still.

Yeah, yeah. Now, you text your friends about this to see if they've had any icks recently. Yes. Can I just say can we get a better name than the ick? Yeah.

Sounds, you know, you need to get vaccinated against it or something. This was a real niche one that one of my friends noticed.

When a guy drinks a glass of water and you can see his magnified mouth from the bottom of the glass. That's just drinking a glass

of water. What is the person meant to do? It's massive lips a glass of water. What is a person meant to do? It's massive lips. Look at those. They're enormous. But all of a sudden they shrink back to size when he takes the glass away. Let's go to you, Kelly in Wellington.

Have you had the ick? I have indeed. What was it? So I went on a first date with a dude and he told me that he had some cats, which I was like, oh, that's cute. Like, I do love cats. However, when we were around at his place a bit later on, I noticed it wasn't just, you know, it wasn't just two cats here.

Multiple with like a little cat home with him. It was like a cat motel in his lounge, you know. Oh, my gosh. It was a crazy cat man. Indeed. Yeah. So how do you back out of the situation? How do you remove yourself from the sick? Well, I played it cool for a little bit

and I just, yeah, just kind of fizzled from there onwards. So you just don't call back? Yeah. Do you ever tell a guy what the ick is? No, you never do. No, you just don't go on another date. You say, sorry, it's not working out for me. Oh.

And you're like, is it my ginormous lips magnified through the bottom of a glass? I'll give you self-confidence every time I drink something from a glass. We'll get Laura on from Auckland. What was the ick? So I went on a date, and we went swimming in Lake Wookiee. And just as you know, he was about to jump in. He held his nose. Yes! That's what I mean. Yes! I'm with you, Laura. There's jump in, he held his nose. Yes!

That's what I mean! Yes! I'm with you, Laura. There's no stylish way to pull that off. But the water will go up. I can see you were practical. No! That's something I would do.

Did you go on a date with a four-year-old? Yeah, basically. Oh, thank you very much for your calls. We've got a caller on the phone here, Amanda Boyce. Welcome to the show. Good morning, Jono.. Welcome to the show. Good morning, Jono. Lovely to have you here. I was just saying before that you had

no, we had a conversation last night, there was no ick, you had nothing bad to report on me, and it's great to talk to you. Have a great day at work. Nothing screams like getting the kitchen wife, then giving your wife a fry pan for Mother's Day. Oh no, that was not...

That's what every mother wants. Cooking appliances. You did want a fry... Anyway, that was one of a couple of items. This year he's getting you a spatula, Amanda. Okay, that's all. No, no, no, I'm still going. What about the 400 times

you wash your hands a day? Very clean hands. Very clean hands. Very clean hands. All right. Have a great day at work, okay? It's great to talk to you. What about those weird noises? You're like, eh, when you smile in the photograph.

Yeah, meh. Oh, it's like a, eh. Okay. Yeah, okay. That happens occasionally. It's like suffocating a weasel. Or what about those amazing Simpsons figurines I just bought with my mouth? And the Funko Pops.

It's great to talk to you. It's great to share all this sort of stuff publicly with everyone in New Zealand. This is great stuff. He's done four different wrap-ups here. Not one of them have been used. What about when he just gives you one piece of chewing gum? Oh, I know, right? All right, all right, all right. What about when he just gives you one piece of chewing gum? Oh, I know, right? All right, all right, all right.

What about the smell of his extra bubble mint gum? Okay, we'll just pop you on hold there. We've got your details. Thanks so much for calling the hits, all right? Wrapping that one up there, next, which famous actor has been secretly living in Dunedin. We'll find out next. It is the hits.

Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. It is The Hits. Jono and Ben, breakfast on The Hits. You're on The Hits, Jono and Ben. She's been on TV more than half her life, everything from Pack to the Rafters, Flying Doctors to Sensing Murder as well. She is New Zealand acting royalty, Rebecca Gibney. How are you? Good morning.

I'm good. How are you? Good morning. It was either going to be Rebecca Gibney or the Briscoes lady. Those were our two. Can I be both? Yeah, you can be both if you want. It's so nice to talk to you. You realise what show you're on.

You're far too good for our show. Oh, not at all. It's not what you spend, it's what you save. I can do the Briscoes as well. She can. Now, the new show that you've got under the vines, a romantic comedy set in New Zealand, Central Otago, and you helped bring the show to Otago at the winery, I understand.

I did. Well, it was originally set for South Australia, and I wanted to be back because my son was having his last year of high school last year, and I just said I didn't want to be away. I'd travelled quite a bit with doing other shows in Australia, and so I said, look, we've got beautiful wineries here. Why don't you come have a look? And the creator came over and just fell in love, obviously, with Central Otago. I'd actually wanted to shoot it in Dunedin because I live here. You've done a great play here.

You've gone for convenience. You're like, listen, I live in Dunedin. Anywhere around here. You've got to do what you've got to do. Now, I realised that yesterday reading an article that you do live in Dunedin. I didn't realise that because you've been in Australia for many years. How long have you been back in Dunedin? We'd literally been in Queenstown for about a week,

and our son just went, I don't want to go back to Australia. And we were like, what? He goes, I don't want to. I feel like I've come home. So he was about 12 then, and we just went, you know what? It's time for him to really settle and make friends. And so we stayed in Queenstown, but he wasn't quite sure of the school then. So he asked to come across to Dunedin.

Of course, he's now moved to Wellington. So we're still in Dunedin. And you're stuck in Dunedin. I imagine when people... We're not stuck in Dunedin, my mother. Sorry, I shouldn't say that. You've suspended everyone in Dunedin. They're not holding you captive or anything.

No, she can't leave. Rebecca, blink twice if you want us to save you. We can't see her. They're not holding your captive or anything. No, she can leave as she wants. Rebecca, blink twice if you want us to save you. We can't see her. We're over the phone. But what I was going to say is people must see you walking down the road

and go, is that me? Is that me? Walking down and, you know. No, because everyone wears masks and no one sees

anyone anymore. Incognito. And also at the uni town. Yeah, well, you go into the university, you know, it's the uni town, so you go into

Countdown or New World and they're all uni students. They wouldn't know who I am. I'm an old lady to them. Something else I found really fascinating about you as well, you used to suffer from sort of, I guess, panic attacks for a while there. Terrible. Yeah, really? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, from the age of 14 until I was about 35. What would send you into a panic attack? Social events. I didn't like going to awards ceremonies or even cinemas or restaurants. I didn't like feeling like I was hemmed in. So even now, if I go to a cinema, I sit on the aisle so I can get out. Yeah, I don't like being in situations where I can't see an exit. Oh, so it's kind of claustrophobia.

Yeah, I get a bit claustrophobia. Yeah, I'm fine on planes now, but I used to be terrible on planes. I don't go out just because, well, I just don't have any social life. But that's my reason. I'm a very boring, bland... No one bites him anywhere as well. Yeah, yeah. Now, Rebecca, I remember watching Sensing Murder.

Do you remember doing this? She's a narrator, yeah. Yeah, you're the narrator of Sensing Murder. Were there times during that show going, these guys are bloody pulling the... These clairvoyants are taking the piss. Well, you know what? I only met them a couple of times,

and one of them I met, she does massage as well, would you believe? And I came over from Australia, and we'd had a recent loss in the family, but no one knew about it. And I remember she came over to give me a massage. And I'm lying face down on the bed and she's giving me a massage. She goes, oh, by the way, I was in the car on the way over and I've got a message for you. And I went, oh, yeah, who's that from?

She goes, well, it's a lovely old lady. I think it's your husband's grandmother. And literally his grandmother had passed away two weeks earlier. No one knew. No one knew. No one knew. And she goes, yes, I think she just wanted you to know that she's much better now and she's at peace and she wants you to know that she's going to watch over you

and particularly your son. I was like, oh, my God, I nearly died. And this is all while you're getting a back message. That's why I'm getting a message. You tense up a little bit there. It was a relaxing laugh. That's incredible. Rebecca, do you

mind if I call you Gibbo now? I feel like we've You can call me Gibbo. Gibbo? Yeah, anything. I imagine being in

Australia for many years that Gibbo would have been a name that they would have called you. Yeah, Gibbo was there.

Gibbo and Bex. Well Gibbo, it's been an absolute honour and a pleasure hanging out with you. Same, thanks for having me.

The show looks awesome. it's on TV1 This weekend, it's called Under the Vines And it sounds like it's been renewed for Series 2, so that's awesome as well It has, yeah, I'm off in 10 days To Central, back to the vineyard Well we didn't get a season 2 of our show So you're doing better than us

Come down and start again In Central, I guess again Alright mate see you later See ya You're on the hits Jono and Ben good morning Need some advice not only for my close friends and colleagues Benjamin and Juliet but also you as well Listening 4487

You can text through I need to have a break up with someone And I don't know how to approach it So 487. You can text through. I need to have a breakup with someone, and I don't know how to approach it. So... This is not a husband-wife situation. Well, you know, that'd be a very open book, wouldn't it? If that was the path I was heading down.

So things aren't going well in the marriage, guys. No, I've been, and you would have suffered the same fate. You end up in professional relationships. Relationships with professionals Some that stretch Into the years Baristas Hairdressers

Ben I know you're in a relationship with your barber How many years deep is this relationship? I would say probably Close to 10 years now Wow That's a lot of hair that's been cut A lot of conversation that's been cut, a lot of conversation that's been had.

Yeah. And I'm in the same boat, obviously not with a hairdresser. I'll get in there before you do. Thank you. But with a professional, I don't want to say what he does because then you'll know who I'm talking about. All I'll say is this man has been to parts of my body.

Oh God, please, no, please. I don't even wish upon myself to explore he's got dirt on yeah so don't break up my dirt don't break up with him so it's gone on for 15 years this relationship the problem now here is my conundrum yeah i have since discovered through my wife that I can get the same service for half the price. Now, he's a lovely man. I love him. But I don't love him enough to pay double the cost of knowing what I can get for half the price. Yeah.

And it'll be the same quality of service. I know it will because she she gets the same you know yeah what are you without telling us information i'm like wow he's really what are you maybe i should have just named a profession i don't know how to answer this are you seeing a gigolo? What is he up to? Yeah. So my question is. Your question, yes. First question, should I actually name what his profession is to clear the air?

I feel like you should have, but anyway. And second question, how do you break up with someone like this? Can you do it? Because the other thing is, he's got documentation on me that once I go to a new person, they will then contact him and go, I need all the intel. Yeah, because that's what I was thinking. Just go to someone else and just fade out.

Fade out. Could you say to him, hey, look, this place has got it for half the price. Either you match me or I'm out. Or threat. You're coming with threats, you say? Yeah. Do I say it in that tone as well?

Maybe not. Or I'm out. I'm out. I know you've done some stuff. Taking all of this and pointing your body up and down and taking all of this somewhere else he's like good because it's been torture

oh well you guys have been no use at all I gave you an idea of the lyrics yeah no thanks to be fair I don't really know what the heck

you're talking about but so you can't yeah and if I went and did it behind his back I'd feel filthy so you feel like you need to own up and say Hey I'm going to go elsewhere

But I don't want to Because I'm a spineless radio announcer I would rather opt for the fade out Ben And if he didn't have the documentation on me Or that personal connection that we have Then I would do a fade out Knowing you you'll probably get the half price stuff And then go back to the person out of guilt

And you'll be paying me like a double. Pay one and a half times. Have my body extra treated. Next, we continue on our 28 good deeds in 28 days. I'm glad we could help out. Thank you. Thank you so much. Enjoy.

Go to school shopping. Thank you, guys. There's a really special one next. It is the hits. You got Jono and Ben. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. This month, we're trying to do 28 good deeds in 28 days.

Yeah, I mean, so far we've washed high-rise windows, we've washed cars, we've washed dogs, and I'm starting to figure out that just doing good deeds is a lot of washing of things, do you find? But also mowed lawns. We paid for a school camp as well. And here's me just listing off all the great things we've done this month, bragging Ben Boyce

and it's safe to say we've passed the threshold for Santa's nice list this year already. We went to the warehouse though and they've got all the back to school stuff and thanks to the warehouse they gave us a couple of $500 vouchers that we could surprise some people, some shoppers buying back to school items with. Yeah, so we were

undercover shoppers. Well you were. I was like, well, going along here, it's going to be confusing enough anyway with masks and what we're doing, but you're like, let's take it a step further and wear a beret glasses and something else. Yeah, gold Elvis Presley glasses and a French beret and a mask. It was, you know, an odd facial combination going on.

And so I was skulking around hiding in the aisles and we would surprise people with these vouchers. Ben, you were distancing yourself, socially distancing yourself from me. Not for COVID reasons, just for embarrassment reasons. But then I'd come on in with a voucher once you'd made the awkward interaction. Laurel, $500.

We've just given it to you to buy some stuff going back to school. That's going to help me a lot. I've got five kids, a single parent, and my kids are going to start school this week on Tuesday, but I haven't got their stationery or anything yet, so they'll be back at school next Tuesday, and this is going to help a lot.

It's going to go towards all their stationeries. That's awesome. It's really nice for us to do this for you. It means a lot. Thank you so much. I don't know what else to say. To be honest, I was weirdly dressed up in Elvis Presley glasses to do this for you. It means a lot. Thank you so much. I don't know what else to say because I'm nervous. To be honest, I was weirdly dressed up in Elvis Presley glasses

and a French beret. Yeah, well, when you were going, I was like, oh my gosh, who's that? Yeah, you started with a, yeah, like weirdly dressed up. She's like, oh my God, don't talk to me.

Don't talk to me. Please, you strange weird man. Stop stinging me. Oh, well, I'm so happy it's going to be put to good use. Thank you so much. No, you're very welcome. God bless.

You too, mate. There we go. That was lovely with Thurlow. It was lovely. And I did, looking back on it, I probably looked like someone that you would report to store security. So she could go, psst, psst. Hey, hey, hey, psst.

As I'm walking past, they're like, please don't talk to me. So then we didn't do any more pissing, Ben. We just went straight out with the next one. Still dressed up, however. Listen, it's $500. $500, I know. Oh, my God. And with six kids.

Oh, this is going to go a long way. And I was sitting here watching them. They were saying, can we have that? Can we have that? And I says, how much is it? How much is it? How much is it? You're like, bloody kids, mate.

Oh, look what they're holding, a scooter. Skateboard. Skateboard. You want a scooter? And she was just asking for a stationary. I said, we might have to wait for next pay. We don't have to now. We can buy it today.

We can buy it today. Well, I'm glad you've got school books now. Yeah, thank you. And I rang up the schools and I said to them, hey, look, we're finding it a bit hard because the whole six are going to school. Six kids is a lot to pay for. Six, and

especially with masks, because masks are like... They're not cheap. They're $75 for a pack of 100 at the chemist. So I rung up the school and I said, if it's compulsory, what do I do if I can't afford the mask? I'm glad we could help out. Thank you.

Thank you so much. Enjoy. Go to school shopping. Thank you, guys. Thank you very much. Now, when you go to university and you become a lawyer, you must promise to defend us in court if anything goes wrong. Oh, sure.

For free. For free. For free. I'm going to shoplift this backpack on the way out. There you go. And, you know, I think the court appearance might be coming sooner rather than later following the French beret glasses combo in the warehouse. Yeah, but thanks to the warehouse for that.

It was really cool. They supported us in our good deeds by giving $500 vouchers for back-to-school stuff, which they have in store right now. Yeah. It felt really good. It did, actually. We walked away going, yeah, that was a feeling. We haven't had much before.

A feeling like people went, oh, that was awesome. Yeah. So Ben had to throat punch an elderly lady on the way out just to bring us back down to earth. Just to balance things out. The Hits. Oh, I can't sleep until I feel your touch. That is our show

and we're kind of a little bit distracted right now because like everyone in the world, we're playing Word or we're producing Juliet You Were and now you've suckered me into it. I've got your phone right now. And we're not going to give it away. We're not going to do a spoiler alert because we can't give it away

because we haven't got there yet on this one. So we're up to Word number three. And to be honest, can I, can I, I'm lost. I don't know what you're doing. I'm just pretending, I'm smiling politely. The other day when you were like, yeah, I did it. I knew you hadn't done it. Because you're, yeah.

But it's actually, you can see. It's gotten to the point where I love the game, but I actually also really dislike it now because I'm like, I just want to get one

in the first like two or three goes, but I just can't. It's always the fourth, fifth or sixth. So for those that don't know, well, I can't explain it to you. You're basically just guessing a five letter word,

a new word every day, and you have six attempts to do it. That's basically it. There's a few other little things, but that's enough. Unless you're playing the game. Once you start playing the game, it makes a lot more sense to how you know the little things you need to do. Is it hoard? Oh, no, I don't think it can be.

Can I be hoard? No. Okay. All right. But anyway, if you know, good on you. Good on you. You're smart enough. Is it house?

Yeah. Oh, I don't know if it could be. No, it can't be house either. Back tomorrow, though, 6 o'clock. We've got $5,000, and hopefully we'll have the answer to today's wordle. Jono and Ben, brought to you by Resene, New Zealand's most trusted paint. Kiwi-made since 1946.