Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: "Don't Judge A Book By Its Cover"... But Quite Literally, We All Do!?

Episode Date: September 17, 2021

Ben brought this one to the table. About how when you're in a bookstore, what else can you do to judge a book apart from looking at/reading its cover!? You're not going to read the book in the store to figure out whether you want to buy it or not... We also talked about the best names you have for your pet. And we had some calls come through that were VERY punny. Finally, episode 2 of our TV show "Jono & Ben: Good Sports" was on TVNZ 2 last night, and we got Ben to call TVNZ reception to see what the reviews were like. Enjoy the poddy!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Kia ora. Welcome, 17th of September. It's Friday today, Ben Boyce. Now, yesterday, you informed me we didn't do a podcast intro yesterday. No, Aaron, who does a wonderful job of compiling the podcasts, he emailed on the way home.

He was like, hey, is there a podcast intro today? And I think he knew the answer to the question. He knew we'd dropped the ball, but he'd done it in a polite fashion of like, hey, dickbag, you forgot to do a podcast intro. So I would have accepted that as well. Because it's all on us. There's no excuses. Did I miss that email?

Sincerest apologies to, well, he didn't want to offend you. He knows how. Yeah, gotcha. You would have got a lot of attention. I would have recorded one from home and sent it to him. Yeah, you know. It's my dedication to the podcast. To our loyal podcast listeners.

We just would have started, wouldn't it? Sometimes I feel like maybe that's the better way to go. I know you always feel like that. I listen to a lot of other podcasts that do that. Yeah. They just get into it. The podcast is the, but anyway, some people like this, so that's good. This is like us decompressing after the radio show. Sometimes it's

okay. Sometimes it's like, well, they're just rambling. But sometimes there's such good stuff in the podcast that we've worked hard on that I'm like, why are we stopping? It's like, I'm putting on a performance. Let's say I'm doing Les Miserables and I'll be working for months with a whole lot of people.

Are you alright? You got a phone call? I've got a phone call but would you like a special guest on our podcast? Okay, well I was going to give you a grab. Please welcome to our podcast intro the one and only star of the Georgie Femme Breakfast and Celebrity Treasure Island, Tammy Davis. Hey, what's going on, Cass? Not much, Tammy.

I'm loving Celebrity Treasure Island, mate. I know, mate. I'm all over it, eh, bro? Yeah. Are they trying to edit you out to be like a villain? Oh, they are, mate. They're trying to pull this animosity between myself and Angela Bloomfield, you know? Yeah, when really you probably get along like a house on fire.

Oh, mate, we're fine. We're fine. I mean, she's not on the Christmas wish list. You know, she's probably not going to get a card, but, you know, we're close enough. Yeah, you're amicable. Yeah, a bit of TV drama, eh? I actually text Tammy about us calling him. Oh, yeah, we need to do that.

So, Tammy, should we do that right now, and then you guys enjoy the podcast? Are we able to call you back, bro? Of course. Yeah, legend. Thanks. Can I? Sure, I'll answer on my phone,

because I think if I answer on my, can I answer on my radio in the car, or is it? Yeah. Oh, yeah, so, yeah, you could, if you want to go hand straight, it's a sensible in the car? Yeah. If you want to go hand straight, it's the sensible thing to do. Okay, then. Okay.

Call me back. All right. See you, Tammy. Yeah, Tammy Davis. There you go. Call him. See you, mate. Lovely guy, Tammy, isn't he? Yeah, he is.

He's very funny. He's a true gentleman. Every time I film with him, I'm in tears of laughter. Naturally funny. Funny dude. Yeah. And a lot of times you'll be like, hey, Tammy, can you be in this sketch? And you'll turn up and he won't have read the scripts.

But he nails it. And then he nails it on the spot. Like he kind of ad-libs it all. He's incredible. Very talented man. So anyway that's the podcast intro today. A bit of spice and a guest. Anyway a guest on the podcast intro. And the intro. I was going to give you an analogy but I'll save that one for the next one. Enjoy the podcast. Tested safe for listening from home. Keep safe. And that's all I have to say.

Thanks, Dr. Ashley. Jono and Ben. New Zealand's breakfast. We're going to talk about pet names, and they're not names that you call your partner, cute little names. We're going to talk about names for your pets, your actual pets, because there's another responsibility is naming your pets as well as your kids. Less of a responsibility, though, with the kids.

You can be a bit fast and loose with naming pets, can't you? Well, the pets never really can let you know if they don't like it. Yeah, and they can't get bullied by other pets for their names. So we've got a couple of pets. We've obviously got Bo and we've got Bubble. Bo, which I like the name Bo, but I find it is quite confusing for the poor dog because it's very similar to No. So No and Bo are very

in hindsight. How many times have you said no Bo? No Bo? Yeah, but he's a boar and he's looking at you like, am I good? Am I bad? What do you want? You know I'm a dog. So that was in hindsight maybe. What was Bo after? Oh, it's just a name that a man in my life liked. Yeah, he really liked it.

So yeah, I was like, oh, so yeah, cool. Was there a true, first true love? Bo. So she really wanted to marry. Bo's out there and he's doing good. I heard from Bo. He's very successful. Still as hot as you think he'd be. He's the one that got away, isn't he? And also Bubble, as we know,

because that was last year we got before lockdown, so he was part of our bubble, the cat. So it kind of made sense. Because naming the cat M-I-Q was just weird. Yeah. There was a lot of weird sort of names that you didn't want to associate with the whole virus. But yeah, I was talking to someone the other day whose sister, she's got two goldfish,

and she named them Jono and Ben. How's that? That's lovely. Just the two fish hanging out together, that's all. Two fish slowly just swimming around, pointlessly, aimlessly, not knowing where they're going. Yeah.

Slowly losing life. One's trying to get away at the other, that one's just following. Following around. One's very forgetful. Ten second attention span. Yeah. That's definitely the Jono fish. Yeah, that's always forgetting to bring stuff to work that he promised to bring.

Yeah. But yeah, the goldfish is lovely, but we bumped into a lady who named her children Jono in bed. What? She said, I named my kids Jono in bed. Here's where we differ, because I was hearing that conversation. I heard her say cats. I named my cats Jono in bed. And he's like, wow,

that's so amazing. I hugged her. So thank you. What an absolute I felt by the hug that she was a little like, oh, okay. No, that's such a great honour. Thank you so much. And afterwards, I was like, I'm pretty sure that was cats. You're like, no, I'm sure it was kids. Yeah.

I can see where the confusion comes from. Cats, kids. A great way to ruin a childhood is maybe a kid's children would be. That's a great way. But, you know, I'm going to say kids. Yeah. Just purely. Would you have hugged her if it was cats?

No, I would have been like If it was cats Then she would have been like wow this guy is Really intense Oh my god that's such a great honour He was quite huggy and emotional He started sobbing on my shoulder Going this is the greatest honour that anyone has bestowed on me

So what we want to do is your pet names What have you got? 0800 the hits 4487 is the text number 2 If we want to do is your pet names. What have you got? 0800 The Hits, 4487 is the text number two if you want to get a hold of us. Greatest pet names that Aotearoa has got to offer. There'll be some good pun ones out there too. Yeah, we love a good pun on this show. So if you want to give us a call

right now, 0800 The Hits or 4487 the best name for a pet. We've got Rachel with us. What have you got? I have a cat named Willy Wonky. Oh named Willy Wonky. Oh, Willy Wonky. Okay, a big fan of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, were you? No.

A big fan of locking children in your weird factory and taking them on a tour? No, he was actually born with a neurological condition, which meant he couldn't walk properly, he can't climb, and he just wanders around looking like he's drunk. So he's always on a bit of a, he never walks a straight line. He wouldn't pass one of those tests that the police make you do. No, definitely not. He's a lot better now.

He's about seven, but as a kitten, he had to hug the walls. He couldn't walk properly. Poor little thing. I've seen Jono after many Christmas parties like that at work, actually. He calls me Johnny Wonky. So I'm glad to hear the cat's a lot better now. Poor little thing. Yeah, definitely better.

Loads of animals out there. You should look it up. Pretty funny. And I'm glad the cat can't understand what you're saying when you call him Willy Wonky. Because the cat's like, what are you making fun of? You know I've got no control over this. No. Love it. Very funny. Well, Rachel and Willy Wonky, got no control over this. No. Love it.

Very funny. Well, Rachel and Willy Wonka, you go and have a great weekend. Thank you. All right. I've got Chantelle on 0800 The Hits. How are you? Hello. I'm good.

Yeah, we're talking pet names, not the pet names that you have for Ben and myself. I don't know what they are. What are they? No, just Jono and Ben for that one. Yeah, good, good, good. Yeah, nice stuff. Hey, you've got a pet name for your little piglet. Yes, well, my auntie has a farm,

and she likes to make lots of neat names for her animals, and her piglet is one that I think is a pretty good name. Oh, what is it? Okay, let's have a guess. Let's have a guess. Notorious P.I.G.? No, that is a really good name. That's a gag. I stole that from Space Jam, actually.

I can't take credit for that. I must regret the writers of Space Jam. You are too. That was Porky Pig's gag, to be honest. No, let me look up pig pun names here. Hamlet. Oh, that's good. No, not that one.

What else would be? Kevin Bacon. No. No, that's good. No, you have to be a fan of reading for this one. Oh, reading. No, I don't know. Fifty Shades of Bacon. No.

No. I shouldn't have started this game. I'm sorry. What is the pig's name? Put us out of our misery. So the pig's name is Harry Trotter. Oh, so good. The best of them all.

Yeah, that's awesome. Harry Trotter. And does Harry Trotter get special treatment over the other animals on the farm? Possibly. He had his own sty. He didn't have to share with the other pigs. They'd be judging, them, wouldn't they? Was he sleeping under the staircase or did he have

his own little pen somewhere? No, he just had his normal little sty that he lived in. He was... Harry Trotter doesn't exist anymore. He had a little sad ending. Hold on! We've paid tribute to this pig all the way through,

pretending that it's alive. And now you're devastated. Oh, well, RIP Harry Trotter. Yeah, but it was Blimmin' Voldemort that got rid of him. Well, thank you so much, Sean Tell. You have a good one. No worries. Thank you.

See you, mate. Your essential listening for non-essential banter. I thought I was saying something meaningful there, and then I backed out. Jono and Ben, New Zealand breakfast. Now, I was watching a TV show the other night, actually, Jono. I don't know if you've seen the promos for it or even seen the show. It's called I Can See Your Voice.

So it's like a talent show. I have seen it, and it's got, who's on there? Bloody Ken Jeong. Ken Jeong from The Hangover. Yeah, he's the host of it. And basically what happens is these people come out as a group and they all sort of start singing uh individually and then the person who's the contestant playing has to work out if they are a bad singer lip syncing

along to someone that's good that's singing or if they are in fact singing right now as a good singer and they also have these judges as well who are kind of just kind of going oh i don't know if that person's you know they're really they're just filling in time that's amazing though they've done such an amazing job of dragging something out for a whole hour of less oldest that eliminate this person that's fine down if they're uh have you seen good sports yeah well same thing same thing yeah we've done a done a great job of dragging things out for a whole hour uh yeah so this is right yeah so it's it's it's actually quite a quite a watchable show i was watching it with the kids it's very unusual but it was one of those things that one contestant uh you know came out and it was one of those things i was like oh surely they're not that that's not them they're lip-syncing and then

they it was wasn't they were amazing singer and my wife was like where's chose you know she's like turn to the kids she's like you don't judge a book by its cover is what she said you know it shows one of those things. But the more you think about it, and you're a reader, Producer Julia, I mean, when you go to Whitcalls, what else do you have to judge a book on than its cover? I know. There's no other way to judge a book in Whitcalls than by its cover. No.

And what if you're a judge at the National Book Cover Judging Awards? Then that's your only role is to judge the cover. Yeah, because you can't go in and read a book from, read a book in WordPress or Paper Plus or whatever. So the only way you can tell if you want to read this book is by judging it on its cover. It's so influential. The cover is so influential.

When you think about it, we all judge books by their covers. Like the first impression, if you like the look of someone, then you're going to judge them, right? Some of my best friendships have come from judging books by their covers. Like, the first impression, if you like the look of someone, then you're going to judge them, right? Some of my best friendships have come from judging books by their covers. Being boys, I was like, who's this lost little chap? Lost little boy I'll go and take to his mummy and daddy.

And it turned out to be a man who also did radio. Who thought? Sparked a lifelong friendship. But I reckon we need to get rid of that saying. Don't judge a person by their appearance. That's a better way. No, do that.

Do that. Potter people are better people. Don't judge a TV show by its weird concept. They're like, oh, maybe this is a good show. And it was. I haven't seen that. But what I thought the show was is people just walk out on stage and they just look at them and go, no, you're not a singer.

That's what I thought the format was. The long eyes showed you out. It kind of is, but they kind of either lip sync or not. No, too ugly. Couldn't sing. Couldn't sing. All right, next one. The other saying as well that kind of gets me, and I know we've talked about this brief

before, don't put all your eggs in one basket. That's another one of those don't sayings. But it's like if you've got an egg basket and we've got one at home, that's entirely where we put all our eggs. We're not scattering them around the house. No, that's the place you put your eggs right yeah why am i not going to put them in the egg basket but we have we've got a basket i'll put one here and i'll put one here i'm not going to put them in the dishwasher yeah so maybe it's time we changed. Maybe it's time we updated some of these things.

Well, you just don't think about them too much, those sayings, do you? No. We just take them as face value. Yeah. Yeah, right. You know, put your eggs in one basket. You're like, well, why? Why?

Why do we do this? Yeah. It's about time someone questioned these. That's right. Let's get to the bottom of these. These are the big questions. It sounds like just one of those things we fill in time, like the...

The bus name vote. Yeah, yeah, like that. That's what we're doing basically right now. It is that. You got Jono and Ben. From across the world. From across the globe. This is an international news update with Ursula Carlson.

That's right. She's more South African than a springbok bounding through the Kruger National Park. Our dear friend and international correspondent, Ursula Carlson, welcome. G'day, boys. How's it going? We're going alright now. We were just talking before off-air that you were saying today you're going to buy something very

South African today. Well, yeah, it's, you know, it is what day is today? It's that day of the week. Like, I don't know, because it's lockdown, so all the days are the same. But I know it's the day because I've run out of my kilo of biltong. So every week I have to buy a kilo of biltong.

A kilo of biltong? Do you get through a kilo of biltong? It seems like an excessive amount of biltong. Come now. Come now. Come now, man. It keeps the motor running, you know. It keeps the kids occupied.

Because if you are in your house now and you go, God, these kids are loud, it's because you don't have built on. Yeah, right. They've got a piece of dried meat in their gob right now. They're going to be chewing on that till after lunchtime. Now, we heard a story, I see you're a fan of built on. Now, I don't know if this is a legit story. Someone once rang up the radio and said they were dating someone,

and beside the bed they thought it was a piece of Biltong. They put it in their mouth, and it turned out to be their child's, the person they were dating, their child's umbilical cord that they had beside the bed. Now, do you think you could confuse an umbilical cord for Biltong? Not personally, no. But I have so many questions about this person phoning in. Number one, how often do they clean out that their child's umbilical cord is still lying there?

Or how young is this child? Like, you're in a messed up relationship with the person you're with. Their kid is still young enough for the umbilical cord to be on the nightstand. And I don't put any responsibility on the person who thought they were chewing on Biltong. Because all the blame lays on the person who's left an umbilical cord lying around. Well, I mean, there has to be some. You don't just smash your teeth into whatever's on your partner's nightstand. I don't even...

You know, you've got to pace yourself. You don't go, well, there's something dry and discoloured. Let me eat it. Yeah, maybe they're both equally to blame. They're both made for each other. I've never looked at something dry and shrivel. Let me hear it. Yeah, maybe they're both equally to blame. Yeah, they're both made for each other. I've never looked at something dry and shriveled up and gone, oh, bulldog, and put that in my mouth. Ursula Carlson, we'd like to look at some international news with you and what's been sparking your attention this week.

Well, something that's really hit me comes from Australia and there's a duck out there and they say this duck can talk and it says you bloody fool. Now, if you say, say it with me boys, you bloody fool. You bloody fool. Now, your mouth rolls a lot when you say that and you sort of

to get the fool out, you know, you sort of, your teeth has to show at some point. Now, if you've ever seen a duck in real life, they've got that whole beak scenario going. It does not curve and does not peel back to reveal teeth. So I'm thinking, because Melbourne is in lockdown too, these people need to get out more. This is what happens when you sniff your own socks for too long. You imagine the pets were talking.

If you're so deep in lockdown right now that you're trying to teach a duck to speak, you need to go for that walk. Now I've just pulled it up online here. We'll have a listen to it. Is that a duck? Saying you're bloody fool? Yeah, but that's not saying you're bloody fool.

That's what happens if you put your foot on a duck, too. It feels like someone is mumbling that behind the camera or something. Yeah. Reaching. Honestly, to live in Australia. Well, as we know, the American ducks, they don't wear pants, according to, well, that's what I saw at Disneyland that time I was there. So, you know, at least these ones are at least giving it a credit.

What a slick Disneyland. Yeah, sorry, I was just trying to drop that out. I love talking about that. Low-key bragging he's been to Disneyland? Yeah, he's come down, mate. Did I tell you that? We've all been to Rainbow Z. Yeah, I can show you some photos.

Have you been to the Disneyland of Monaco? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No fast pass required. A lot of people without pants on their eyes as well. Just think you've fallen in the water.

Have you been paying attention? I'm back again on TVNZ2 tonight. Who's on the show tonight? I always love you. You always get

such amazing guests. Even through lockdown you get incredible guests. Yeah, tonight we've got Tikatane on and we've got Maya from the Silver Fern. Oh, awesome.

Maya Wilson, of course. There's no other Maya in the Silver Fern. I have a question. Logistically, I don't know if this is of any interest to anyone else. How long does it take you to make the show from your own house in Zoom form? Well, the Zoom form is a little bit longer, of course, because we have to save every 20 minutes. You have external hard drive and you have to save it.

So we start at 11 45 and we film to like 5 30 6 o'clock oh there's a long wall isn't it yeah i know it's incredible what you guys have put together and are putting together every week you know under lockdown conditions it looks really good yeah look it's yeah i i'm quite like it too i'm like i never need to leave the house again ursula carl Carlson Catch Ursula tonight Along with all the funny cast members Have you been paying attention on TVNZ2 Have a great weekend

Thanks Tim New Zealand's breakfast This is Jono and Ben Morning, welcome along to the show It is Friday And it's just gone on It's 6 o'clock right now Welcome to the show.

Oh, you're adding the time in now. I'm trying from time to time, trying to do a little bit. Yeah, no, good effort. Good effort. We were just praising Dan the weatherman, who was getting a bit of grief because he kind of got in a bit of a hole last night where he's doing bilingual weather reports on TV and Z1. Oh, he's doing a phenomenal job.

He really is. Putting himself out there, which is great, you know, and I think the more people that do that, you know, to have the confidence to try and do that, and yeah, you're going to make mistakes from time to time, but it's better than the alternative of not trying and, you know, not getting Te Reo out there, you know? And he's doing that without

any script. It's all in his head. Yeah, as far as I know, that's what happens, right? Which is incredible. And isn't he originally from England, too? That's crazy. And isn't he originally from England too? Yeah. That's crazy. That blows my mind the most. I'm like, wow, you're not even really from New Zealand.

So that's cool. Yeah, it's very awesome. Hey, we've got a big show today. We've got $5,000 up for grabs at 7.45. And we've got $500 to give away with our TV show, John Owen Being Good Sports. A lot of cash to smokescreen. What's coming up?

I don't know what is coming up over the next three hours, but at least you can, in the back of your mind, rest easy that we're going to bribe you with money. We've got cash. Do you need any more than cash to listen to us? Ursula Carlson, she can smoke screen us as well. We've got a lot of smoke screening happening this morning.

Well, thank you very much for joining us. It's a Friday. We've made it to the end of the week and I can't wait to pop down to Wanaka this weekend. Just a little getaway. It's Kings of Leon. It's sex on fire. It is the hatch. You guys have fun over there.

Hard-hitting interviews and informed opinion. Mike Hosking on New Salted Bean. In the meantime, here's Jono and Ben. The Heats. First start today, 31 days of lockdown for Tamaki Makoto. Yeah, so 31 days, guys. 31. And I was telling you the other day how I feel like my family's reached

peak lockdown when we started sleeping in the lounge or on mattresses like we're part of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory or something. Oh yeah, I loved that set up. They had about four grandparents and one double bed, didn't they, in Charlie's household? Yeah, but did you notice, and someone pointed this out online, when he won the golden

ticket, and he got to take the granddad, how quickly the granddad was up and jumping, and I was like, mate, how long have you been milking at that, you know? Well, yeah, because then he's getting all his food bought to him, he's getting cups of tea, for years, probably for 50 years he's been sitting in the bed. There were four of them, the

four grandparents, right? Weighted on hand and foot. Yeah. Poor Charlie's parents. They're out there working, slaving away, and then go, come and look after four very senile people, bitching and moaning in a bed. And then, oh, okay.

Oh, yeah. Not only does he get the ticket, bounds out of bed. Yeah. You're dead right. He's all up and about. Yeah, I saw that online. It's a very good observation. Yeah, so my family's a little bit like that at the moment.

And I feel like they've reached, again, peak lockdown last night. The kids were even doing a game. You know, kids have been games. They're like, Dad, this is our new game. And I was like, okay. Here it is. Here's. It's lunchtime.

You've got, you're going to the mall. Remember going to the mall? I was like, yeah, I remember going to the mall. You're allowed to get one drink anywhere you want. Lunch anywhere you want and buy one item. That to the mall. You're allowed to get one drink anywhere you want, lunch anywhere you want, and buy one item. That was the thing. So you get to choose.

Like, basically, they're craving takeaways, and you're craving food and not at home. Oh, so you're just choosing this in your head. Yeah, and then later on it'll go, okay, next one. It's dinner time. You can go anywhere you want through the drive-thru. I was like, well, this is just, they really have reached peak lockdown. Yeah, I, one thing that was spoken about before is the slow sensual Big Mac ad, which is being played on television at the moment, to Aucklanders as well. They shouldn't be allowed to play that in Level 4, right?

No. I feel like I want to leave my family for a Big Mac right now. I've never felt those feelings before, but that ad is doing things to me. There was a pizza one last night as well, too, and I was like, oh. And they're always slow motion. Yeah, I was like, stop it. Stop it.

There's a funny video. We can't even play it on. Did you get the video I sent you yesterday? This wonderful gentleman. Yes. He was in Tokoroa, and he was going, stop putting all your videos of you know

table loads of McDonald's and KFC and then waving that in Auckland's faces we've got to be here to support them

bless him yeah he was wonderful we can maybe play a censored version of his he's very good he's very good but that's kind of

what we feel like right now a little bit you know I think I've almost kind of got to a similar stage. My friend and I had a half an hour conversation on the phone yesterday discussing if we went to a remote island, what one item would we take

that's not a phone or a laptop? And I was like, can I bring a boat? And she's like, no, because then you can leave the island. I was like, can I bring a Kindle? She's like, no, you can bring one book. I'm like, but I'm thinking smart here. And then we were talking about what food we'd eat. You know, it's what happens when you get to lockdown. Why is she making up the rules?

I don't know. If you want to bring a boat, you bring a boat. Yeah, exactly. It's a sensible option. I know. Yeah. Boat full of petrol. I can leave the island whenever I want. Exactly. Have a day sunbathing. Yeah, that was a lovely day on an island. It was a really good day on Celebrity Treasure Island. Summer, bring a boat.

Does anyone want to, we can dot back now. Or a car. A car would have been quite nice. Anyway, put the three of us in a deep fryer and we'll just bathe in that cooking oil and come out waterproof. And I tell you what, once Auckland goes to level three, I'd be very scared. I'd be shaking in my boots if I was a chicken or a cow. Oh, no. It's going to be a serious depletion in that population, I tell you.

Oh, jeez. The show where the masks make them look a whole lot better. Can't save this battered-up old face. It makes you beautiful. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast. Now, last night on the TV, Jono and Ben, Good Sports. It's our new TV show, 8 p.m., TVNZ 2. You can catch up now on On Demand, on TVNZ On Demand.

And we took on the sports of barefoot water skiing, burnouts and wood chopping, timber sports. And, jeez, it was, you know, like us barefoot water skiing. You were saying this morning, Producer Julie, it was... Honestly, I want to try it now. Jono made it look so easy. Jono did well, actually. Yeah, you could be an Olympian, Jono.

Apart from the fact that we did four cartwheels in the water at 70km an hour. Oh yeah, you just hit the water so hard. It's like when you walk into a glass window. You don't know it's coming. You don't know what happened afterwards. And it takes you about 10 minutes just to decompress. Yeah, you're right. You're like, what did happen?

I didn't realise I'd done four cartwheels until I saw the footage. Yeah, and you look back at the footage and you're like, jeez, why am I not in a spinal unit right now? Because the kids at home, the girls, they're very good at gymnastics and they're like, try and do an aerial. I'm like, I can't. And then the last night they're like, you can do an aerial, you can do it. And I was like, well, no. If I'm forced into it. Yeah, I can't do

a cartwheel unless I'm on a barefoot water ski. Yeah, but one of the highlights last night was going to the burnouts at Midi Midi and not burnt out from working too long at the office. No, no. And we met Nigel Beer, who was a wonderful gentleman, and he's on the phone with us now. I tell you what, we've got some long-lasting effects from that day, Nigel.

Absolutely. I suppose your nostrils are all black as well. I was honestly removing bits of rubber from... It was a heck of an experience All creases and crevices for about a week after that Yeah How long have you been doing this, Nige? I think the first time I spun wheels on a car

I would have been about 13 years old The legal driving age of Arata here is 13 years old too I think you're expected to get your first house by the age of 15, aren't you there? Yeah, well exactly Grow up quickly there But it's an amazing sport I think you're expected to get your first house by the age of 15, aren't you there? Yeah, well, exactly. Grow up quickly there.

But it's an amazing sport, and as soon as a tyre pops, boy, that's the— The crowd love it, don't they? Oh, they just go off. And the whole reason most people do it is for the crowd reaction, and it's the best mental health relaxation you can get. Well, you said that last night on the TV show. I remember, yeah, when you're driving, even though there's a whole lot going on, it's actually quite a peaceful

experience for you. Explain how. Absolutely. The minute and a half that you're on that green up pad, nothing matters. No matter how hard your life is, what's going on in it is the time that you're free. Nothing matters for that minute and a half, and you come out of it feeling a better person.

It's better than a counsellor. More expensive, though, than a counsellor, probably. Slightly, slightly. Well, that's the thing. You're basically going out there to kind of destroy your car in some ways. Not fully, but also to pop tyres and things like that. Yeah, pretty much the aim of the game is to go out there and make a hell of a show for the crowd

and enjoy it and go home smiling. Jono had a crack last night on the TV show. Arrogantly got up onto the roof of his car. You know, of your car, Nige. Yeah, sorry. I'm still trying to get the scratches out. I let the celebrations get away on me. I see what you mean, Nige.

I was playing to the crowd. I'm a showman. I'm sorry, Nige. Sweeped over the emotion. Yeah, Ben had to pull me back down to earth afterwards. He's like, you really made a scene. He's a sensible one. We all know that.

Yeah, that's right. Well, and it was a good level or two, Ben. You really did get away with it. You're like, did I? You're like, yeah, a little bit. But hey, you got caught up. It's part of the show. The crowd loved it.

And there's just a wonderful group of people out there. All like-minded people. So it must be great when you get to hang with people with the same passion, Nigel. Yeah, it's an amazing family. The amount of help that you get from other ones out there. If you have issues, everyone jumps in and helps get your car going. Wouldn't be such a great sport if it wasn't for all the great people that were out there doing it.

Going out there, when you're doing it, smoke's just billowing into the cab of the vehicle and you literally can't see anything. So you're kind of driving blind for a large part of it as well, which is slightly concerning, Nigel. Does it worry you? Well, privately, you know, a lot of people drive blind anyway, so it's nothing more than a normal day. People texting and driving and things like that.

Yeah, I mean, Nigel's an absolute trooper in foggy weather. He's the only one who can navigate through a low fog. I can imagine. It was lovely to meet you, Nige, and lovely to meet everyone out there. You're a really good sport, as they say, as the show suggests. And you keep well, okay? You guys, too. And thank you so much for being part of our burnout thing.

Yeah, it was fun, mate. I tell you what, the real winner of the burnouts is Tony's Tire Service. Oh, yeah. That tell you what, the real winner of the burnouts is Tony's Tire Service. Oh, yeah. That's the ultimate winner. I still can't believe that's the idea, is to go out and just destroy your tires. It goes against everything I learned when I was going for my license. And actually, speaking of driver's licenses, we got into this yesterday. We want to bring it back.

If you can wow us to do it with your driver's license, you can win next. It is the hits. Welcome to Two Half-Hast Dads Do a Half-Hast Job. Official title, Toto and license, you could win next. It is the hits. Welcome to two half-assed ads to a half-assed job. Official title, Tuno and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast. Friday. Now, yesterday we were talking about the driver's licenses in New Zealand for the learners and restricted. They're going to be allowed to go from five to ten years.

You're allowed to stay on those licenses. And we got talking more about licenses yesterday and some of the unbelievable stories that would wow us about your license experience. Unrestricted for 10 years. A month before I was due for my full, I decided to go for it. Failed four times. Finally got it. So I have my restricted for 21 years and just got my full license this year.

Well done. 21 years. Wow. Martin, how long have you had your learners for? I've had my motorbike learners licence since 1995 Yeah, it makes you a little concerned, doesn't it When you hear that all in a montage form as well There was a story actually last night on the news

Someone got busted at a checkpoint Trying to leave Auckland And had an expired driver's licence And it was one of those stories And then the kids goes To me, when did your licence expire? And I was like, I don't know leave uh auckland and had an expired driver's license and it was one of those stories and then the kids goes oh it's me when did your license expire and i was like i don't know because one of those things you you don't you don't really know i had to go into my wallet and check and i was like oh good i've got a couple more years but yeah like it's one of those things it's like how

often do you check i just thought you know i just keep going yeah no so i'm ready for 10 years so yeah when i lost my wallet i had to get a new cards of everything now i've got double cards of everything so i've got two of the same license all right as well i don't know what advantage that is to be honest i don't even know why i started bragging about that as if it was a thing if anything it's an inconvenience it fills up more wallet space you get id'd you like this one or this one? Different photos? Same photo, same number. Okay, so you don't like my different looks? No, exactly. What I find with all of my photos with a driver's license, passport, ID,

even when you go to the office and get a photo with your lanyard, there's no way you can not look like a criminal in those photos. You try your hardest. Yeah. Yeah, well, I always feel like your passport photo looks like you on the way back from your trip when you're like, oh, we're going home. You know, it always looks like, you know.

Depressed. You always look like, oh. You don't have to smile in them. Let's have smiley passport photos, you're right. You're just meant to be happy when you're travelling. I know, but it's like when you're coming back, you're like, I'm going to go back to work tomorrow. Yeah, that's what it looks like.

Just been deported from Australia. Oh, under the hits is the phone number 4487. We're going to continue this now. What would impress us about your driver's license experience? The license line is open right now. Give us a call this morning. Yeah, the license line. What would surprise us about your license?

Maybe you had conjunctivitis during the photo shoot? I don't know. I can't think of any more good... My sister actually had a mosquito bit her eye, like a mosquito bite on her eyelid the night before she had to get her licence. Who's this, sorry? My sister. And yeah, man, she woke up that morning

and a mosquito had bitten her overnight on her eyelid and very swollen red eyes. And you've got to stick that out for 10 years, that photo? Yeah. It's almost a reshoot, isn't it? Can we get a Photoshop? Let's do a little Photoshop job on this one. Got Donna on the line. What's the story, Donna?

Well, we lived in Australia for two years, six years ago, and we used to drive from Adelaide to Mount Gambier, and it was about a four-hour trip. And the speed limit on the motorway is 110, but I would do around 130, 140. And along the motorway, they had what I thought was speed cameras,

two, one, and then a little bit further down, another one. So I would speed till I got close to it, slow down, speed between them, and then slow down for the second one. Donna, should you be saying this on a public platform? Well, this was Australia, though. Oh, yeah, okay, all right, yeah. A different time zone, yeah. Yeah, six speeding fines at $600 a pop to realise they were actually not speed cameras,

they were average speed cameras. So they were working out my speed between the two and then realising that I was actually speeding but because I didn't have an Australian licence it didn't affect my New Zealand one So they were markers as such

so if she's continuing to travel at 110 then she'd reach this next one in X amount of time Yeah exactly but I was way way over that limit because they only have 10 demerit points there. And I lost four for every ticket. But I didn't have an Australian licence.

Jeez, I tell you what, you're lucky there. Can we also, just while we're on the topic, can we go back to the good old days when in each town and city there was only one speed camera? We all knew where it was. It was on a big white pole. Slow down here. Big white box.

Those were the glory days. Now they're hiding them in tinted vans with all sorts of them. Those were the good days, weren't they? Avoid the speed cameras coming up. We all knew where it was. And for that brief 100-meter stretch on the roads, no one was speeding. It was a safe time.

I was laughing at what you said about the Rarotonga licence because I have a motorbike licence so I was fine getting mine but when we got over there my husband didn't so he had to sit his and they had a big line of about 30 mopeds lined up waiting for a police motorbike guy

to follow them around the block. When my husband got on his, he took off before everyone else. He fell off around the block. When my husband got on his, he took off before everyone else. He fell off around the corner, and he got back about 30 seconds after everyone left, and he passed his licence. Ferraro licensing system seems pretty fast and loose. Yeah.

I love it. Thank you, Donna. I really appreciate it. You guys have a good day. Casey on. Welcome, Casey. How are you? Hi. Hey, the licence good day. Casey on. Welcome, Casey. How are you? Hi.

Hey, the licence line impress us. Alrighty. So I have a full New Zealand driver's licence and I've only ever sat my learner's test. Was this a hiccup in the system? I'm hoping not because we're not having it back. How does it? Do they just give you a full?

Yeah, right. So I sat my learner learners when I was 15, and then by the time I moved to Australia, I would have been about 23, and they based what licence I should be on over how long I'd had my licence. So they gave me an open licence over there. But by the time I come back to New Zealand,

my learners had expired, so I had to get my Australian licence converted. And because it was open over there, they just gave me a full year. Wow, very expensive way of cheating the system. Get your learners here, fly to Australia, stay there for eight years, return, and you've got your full licence just like that.

Good on you, Kate. Has it done you well? Do you know all the road rules? I assume so. It's me first, right? Yeah, definitely. Good on you, mate. Have a good day. Thanks, you too. Thanks's me first, right? Yeah, definitely. Good on you, mate. Have a good day.

Thank you, too. Thanks for your calls, guys. Next on the show, Nicki Minaj, the singer. She's made international headlines for a very bizarre claim to do with her cousin's friend in Trinidad. It's very bizarre. It's to do with the vaccine. Yeah, and now she's been invited to the White House. We'll tell you how it all happened next.

It is the hits. Yeah, and now she's been invited to the White House. We'll tell you how it all happened next. It is the hits. Scrolling through your feed. All right, he's not afraid to get to the tough topics, like if you drop a bar of soap on the floor, does the floor become clean or does the soap become dirty? Good question. It's a very good question. He's not afraid to tackle that topic,

but we're going to focus on other ones right now. Yeah, now Nicki Minaj, a huge international singer, many big songs like this Super Bass. She didn't go to the Met Gala this week because one of the criterias for the Met Gala was you had to be double vaccinated and she says she's still doing her research on the vaccination

and she actually tweeted this week and this made a lot of headlines there her cousin's friend in Trinidad got swollen testicles after the vaccination became impotent. Now, this is something that she tweeted, and she's got like 8 million followers, and this has caused big international news. In the UK, not long after she tweeted, they basically asked Boris Johnson,

the Prime Minister there, about Nicki Minaj's tweet. He was like, I'm not really too au fait with her work. But they also asked basically their equivalent of Dr. Ashley Bloomfield, their their head of health um professor witty one of the world's biggest female celebrities nikki minaj has today publicly linked the coronavirus vaccines to impotence and how concerned are you by public comments like that from public figures so there are a number of myths that fly around with varying some of which are just clearly ridiculous so it's making a lot of news and nikki responded with uh kind of an unusual message back on Twitter where she was doing an English accent back to Boris Johnson.

Boris, it's Nicki Minaj. I was just calling to tell you that I thought you were so amazing on the news this morning, and I'm actually British. Great accent. That's actually really good. Let's forget about her wild swollen testicle claims. Pay homage to that British accent. It's exceptional.

The second degree is the separation with the story. It's like, my cousin's friend has had this thing happen and even caused a bit of a stir in the White House and it's all over the news in America. It's Nicki Minaj's cousin's friend's testicles were sworn from taking the vax. That's the claim. They're talking a lot about this poor guy.

If you're Nicki Minaj's cousin's friend, you'd be like, oh, can my testicles not be international news, my swollen testicles? Please. It's embarrassing enough as it is. I told you this in confidence. Now your mate's gone and tweeted it. And now it's been the official sort of invite from the White House in America

from the doctors there, Biden's doctors, to say if you want to talk more, Nicki Minaj, about any rumours that you have around this. Side effects. Or the testicles of your cousin's friend, then give us a call. We're available to talk to you at any stage. They're saying the doctors say no evidence of this happening and it is a myth. You have been vexed. Yeah.

I have been vexed. Let's you shut. No. Oh, God. Okay. Julia, shut that down vexed. Yeah. Let's you show. No. Oh, God. Okay. Julia, shut that down. She doesn't even know what I was going to say. I was going to say, Ben, get your testicles out.

All right. And on that note, I'm going to wrap this up right now. That is a Hatsugatono in bed. Spy. No WhatsApp. Spy.co.nz. When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. And when life gives you celebrities, you make fun of them.

In an hourly update called Spy with producer Juliet. So the Rolling Stone magazine has released a brand new list of the top 500 songs in history. And it's the first time they've done this in 17 years. They made this 17 years ago, I think in, would that be early 2000s? And they decided it needed a bit of a refresh because at that stage Billie Eilish was only 3 years old. So were you.

Oh my god, I would have been. You would have been about 3 years old. Did you know what was number 1 17 years ago? So I can look that up while you continue on. Oh, you look that up while I, yeah. So number 1 is Respect by Aretha Franklin. Oh, great song. So good. So hard to pick.

I mean, there are so many amazing songs that have been made. It's so hard to compare. I know, it's crazy. That was good because it taught me how to spell respect as well. It's so like Gwen Stefani taught me how to spell bananas. Yes, yes, that is so good. Number two is a song called, I had to ask you guys if you knew this song, because I didn't, but it's called Fight the Power, Public Enemy.

Yeah, that's a good song. That's number two. Oh, it's a big political song as well, too. So, yeah, very cool song, that. You interviewed Flavor Flav. I did, yeah, it was awesome. He's the guy with the clock around his neck. Yeah, yeah.

Always handy if you need to know the time. Was the time correct on his clock? I don't know. Did you look at that? I don't know. I think, yeah, I can't remember. I think I can definitely change it if it's not. He had that wonderful reality show, Flavor of Love.

Oh. And all these wonderful ladies were looking, you know, it was like The Bachelor, but with Flavor Flav, essentially. That's right. They went through a whole series of, Brett Michaels had another one as well, you know, from Poison, yeah. But then was there a contestant who,

there was a shocking moment in the first episode of Flavor of Love, where a contestant Oh, did some business. evacuated bowels on the lounge floor. Oh, no! And Flavor turned up to his house and he's like, has someone just, and they're like, yeah, it was her. He's like, you know, you can just use the toilet. It's a lovely house, he's like, has someone just... And they're like, yeah, it was her.

He's like, you know the toilet, you can just use the toilet. It's a lovely house. It's a lovely house. There's probably multiple bathrooms in there. So I don't know what poor production assistant had to sort that out. Skipping forward a few, number eight is Get Your Freak On by Missy Elliott. Quite a good song. Yeah, very cool. And then number nine was Dreams by Fleetwood Mac.

Number ten was Hey Ya. By Outkast. And even Lorde made it at number 30 with Royals. Oh, wow. That's awesome. Really, really cool. So, hell yeah, New Zealand. Number 30 of the greatest songs of all time.

History. History, yeah. Imagine all the songs in history. Yeah, there were so many of them. You wrote the Novus show it's your crack jingle I don't think it made into the top 500

it should be though it should be no what I thought was quite interesting Bohemian Rhapsody was number 17 but then you think of like Missy Elliott

Get Your Freak On being number 8 surely Bohemian Rhapsody is better than Get Your Freak On you know what I mean it's all subjectivised

music is hard that's what you know has this been a vote of the people yeah I think I don't think Bohemian Rhapsody is better than Get Your Freak On. You know what I mean? It's all subjectivised music. It's hard. That's what you know. It is. Has this been a vote of the people? Yeah, I don't think it was a public vote, but it was definitely voted on by a group of people, I think. Now, musical stylings change as well. So I imagine, you know, compared to the 2017 list,

there's probably a few more rock songs in there. Yeah. They said nowadays there's a lot more sort of hip-hop and R&B and sort of the pop element has changed a lot over the years. And what's cool has changed over the years. What was your favourite song of all time? If you were to pick your favourite song of all time, Ben Boyce, I'll chuck it to you first.

So hard. And then, Juliet, you come on in. So hard. We did this a while back, didn't we? We were like, if you could play a person one song. Oh, and then we ended up, yeah. What a wonderful world. That's right. If anyone had? We were like, if you could play a person one song. Oh, and then we ended up, yeah. What a wonderful world.

That's right. If anyone had never heard music before, what would you play them? And we'd play them. Yeah, I just, I honestly, it's not a cop out, could not tell you, because I just like lots of, lots of songs. Yeah. And you go through phases, you're like, oh, I love this song, you know? I actually reckon mine might be like a Kings of Leon song or something. Okay.

I really like them. I just think their music's so timeless. Yeah, no, that's, yeah, that's yeah this is good i'll probably go something like guns and roses welcome yeah yeah i mean like you know welcome to the jungle november rain yeah yeah november rain's a really good song the full version of the saint pierre's jingle is pretty good three and a half minute version it's probably out there for me it's up there you know you're gonna love their sushi and that is spy for more you can head to the hits.co.nz from the socially distantly safe two meters stay away this is new zealand's breakfast with jonathan no this is uh interesting news uh fruit bursts uh you know what it's actually probably one of my favorite candies, Fruit Bursts.

Macklemore, the singer from America, the rapper from America, he came to New Zealand. Oh, thank you, Producer Juliet. And he was like, he gave big shout-outs to Fruit Bursts. He's like, I love your lollies, Fruit Bursts. He just loved them. Yeah, he loved them. He's had weird dietary requirements, Macklemore. We interviewed him, and they required just an array of cereals.

But in the afternoon, afternoon cereal. They all sat down, yeah, because they performed on our TV show, Macklemore, Ryan Lewis and the finest cereals New Zealand could provide. Yeah, and they all had cereal backstage before performing. You know, you're just right. It's a special game. Because he did have some alcohol issues and so he doesn't drink now and some other substances.

Now he's got cereal issues. So now, yeah, he enjoys candy and cereals i guess is what he enjoys um but fruit burst they so they got rid of the peach flavored uh peach flavor around about 2010 uh from the fruit burst apparently a lot of people like you got to bring it back well as of now they've kind of brought it back uh but they've kind of you know they did the uh the they kind of combine them with the pineapple lump they've done it before lump, like they've done it before. They've done it. The fruit burst.

The milkshake one. Yeah, the milkshake. I was trying to think what the other brand was. So they're Alan Peace, and now they've done the same thing. Pesco has put it into the pineapple lump. So you can get them. So not quite. Oh, so you get peach fruit burst with a pineapple lump. Yeah.

A morphinating of two companies coming together. Yeah, well, it's probably all the same company. A collab. A morphinating of two brands. They. Yeah, well, it's probably all the same company. A collab. A morphinating of two brands. They haven't brought out just the peach fruit burst back, but they've decided to put it in Pineapple Lump form. I like fruit bursts because they do contribute to your five plus a day, don't they?

The old, you've got fruit in the title. Fruit loops as well, I always find. You can have five of those. Purple's my favourite. What do you like? I like a banana or a strawberry. I like the red one, yeah. Do you like the red ones? Red or green, actually. They're great

because as soon as you put one in your mouth, you're committed for at least six hours until you've actually got rid of it. It's a really good lolly, isn't it, the fruit burst? It is actually really good. I do enjoy it. You wouldn't meet anyone in New Zealand who doesn't. Is it just for New Zealand? I think it might be. Is it New Zealand only? I think it might be New Zealand

only. Is it? Yeah. Yeah, so that's why I think it might be a New Zealand only thing. Is it? Yeah. Jeez. Yeah, so that's why I think Macklemore was giving a big shout out so didn't he? He was like, I love you,

you know, your candy. I'm like, are you crazy? It's lollies over here, mate. You crazy Macklemore. Have some more special cake. New Zealand's breakfast.

It's Jono and Ben. Got me in love. On the hats. Now, 31 days of lockdown for those in Tamaki Makaurau. And next week, we're all hoping that level restrictions ease. Well, the Prime Minister yesterday signalled that there'd be no level one outside of Auckland next week if the levels drop. And they would go to level two, but potentially going from 50 to 100 people. Now, the vaccine bus rolled out yesterday, didn't it?

Shop Bro. Shop Bro is the name of the bus. Although then someone came in with a late entry because we were all told to spend our days coming up with fun names for the bus. And someone came up with... Chariots of Pfizer. Chariots of Pfizer.

That would have been really good. Don't you hate it when you come up with the best one after you've decided on the one. It's too late now. It's too late now. Why'd you even submit it? You knew the deadline. The Prime Minister clearly said, you know, the buses are rolling out tomorrow. It's a quick brainstorm session.

It was a very quick brainstorm. Chariots of Pfizer. So much better. Now, Ben, you've just said, hey, Jono, can you sing your vaccine bus song for the Venga Boys? No, it's like, if you want to, you can. The Venga Boys. I pitched this to Ben Boyce yesterday, that he fronts a campaign.

Harking back to the Venga Boys song, the Venga Bus is coming. Now, you've asked me to do this, and I've completely, I can't find the lyrics anywhere. So I can do it off the top of my head. I'll give it a go. I'll half remember it. Okay. Okay. Slow version?

Yeah, the slow version. Bingo bus is coming. Bingo bus. Oh no, God. Can I start again? Yeah. Three, two, one. The vaccine bus is coming and everybody's jabbing

from New Lynn to outside. Briscoes, we're heading to your street. Oh, no, I've messed it up. Going through your street. Oh, you've sent them. Oh, thank you. And then the Wanaka vaccine, the Delta.

Take three, Juliet. The vaccine bus is coming and everybody's jabbing. New Lynn to outside, brisk goes, don't come out. If you're sick, though, you're straight, we are ahead. And Chris Hipkin's legs are spreading. We can go to Wanaka if we vax against the Delta. There we go. We got that.

Jeez, you know Eminem when he just goes on stage and remembers the stuff he's written. It's pretty impressive, right? It is. Yeah. Hey, next, we want to know if you're an excuse. Have you ever used an excuse that kind of backfired? We'll get to that more next. There's the hits.

Jono and Ben. Jono and Ben, just like family. The family members you're ashamed of. Now, a lot of people catching up over Zoom or Microsoft Teams or even House Party at the moment. We've done a few work drinks and stuff. Very hard. We've talked about it.

Very hard to leave these situations, right? Producer Juliet had a great one the other night saying, I've got a family Zoom. I've got to end this family Zoom to go to another. End our work Zoom to go to another one. I was like, oh, genius. Because I was struggling to know how to get out of it. I was enjoying it, but then I was like, well, my time had, you know, like I was hanging out with the family at home,

and then I have to go to another room because they're like, they don't want to hear. So I'm in the other room, and so in the end I just end up muting. You know, you did a mute, and then you went to black screen just with your name on it, and then you mysteriously disappeared. It was over a two-minute period. Yeah, it was a slow fail. He leveled out. fail he leveled out he's like ghosted for the party i'm just gonna go to the toilet guys yeah just gonna get it i'll just put my car keys in my pocket just

spot my shoes on just in case you know just get and then i left yeah but yesterday we had a bit of a bit of a meeting after the show. We all caught up in the afternoon. And we want to talk about this now, John O'Prior. Because you exited. You exited. You were the first to initiate the exit. Do you remember what you said yesterday? Vaguely?

What did I say? You said, I feel like this is leading. So this is a very leading conversation. No, you just said, I need to go because the zoom says it's going to cut out. Oh yeah. It cuts out after 40 minutes or whatever. The free zoom. That's if you don't upgrade.

I was going too long guys. I've got a message on my computer saying the zoom's going to cut out. We'll catch you tomorrow. Yeah. I said goodbye. Yeah. We're ready. Wrapped it up.

We were all wrapped it up then, but then we were talking this morning going, we all had came to the realization afterwards. We weren't on zoom. We're on microsoft teams which is unlimited so what was that yeah like yeah what i mean hey okay let's be honest it hasn't been a great week for aucklanders andime. Okay? Had some brand damage and we're... Yeah, no, that's... You do realise that you're boomer brain, like we're more

switched on than you. So like we were not going to fall for that. You're like, oh, this has just come up. Gotta go. Gotta go. Zoom's going to cut me off. Do you want to know the honest truth? No, I know what the honest truth is. Yeah, enough of it. You wanted to wrap up the meeting. That's the honest truth. I get it. Thank you. Thank you for telling the honest truth. I, I know what the honest truth is. Yeah, enough of it. You wanted to wrap up the meeting. That's the honest truth. I get it. That's the honest truth.

I get it. Thank you. Thank you for telling the honest truth. I get it. Because I didn't at the time. No, thank you for bringing it up now. Yeah. My thing is, what's the obsession with seeing everyone's faces?

Why not just a phone call? Remember a good old phone call? You could do that now. We've got to see your face. Yeah. Well, you could do a lot more when you're on a phone call, I find. You can actually do stuff around the end, be half listening and things you know check out check out you can be reading your phone while they're on speaker yeah yeah yeah you know there's phones far more locked

in aren't you you know they can see the disinterest in my face okay well that's a little blip on my uh my online meeting career isn't it yeah so the excuse that you used kind of backfired a little bit, but we understand it. It's fine. It's just one of those things. So we thought because of that, I would throw this out there and make you feel a little bit better maybe. What excuse have you used that ended up backfiring?

Okay, can someone tell me while we're here, has someone emailed Bill Gates and told him he needs to put some bloody time limits on Microsoft Teams so my lie can stack up on both forms? Why don't you just make 10 minutes? 10 minutes, get it done. Because otherwise the meetings just drag on to the limit. Everyone will be like, all right, well, it gets down to business. Speaking of excuses, you got caught out live on television, didn't you,

when you were about 18 years old? Oh, at the crickets, yes. Took a day with friends, went to the crickets. Said you had to go to the dentist. No, well, no, I just didn't. Actually, my mum wrote me a note to say, but that didn't stack up. I don't care that your mum said it was okay. But they got busted on.

Is your mum the principal? No. But busted on TV by another teacher who saw us on TV. The guy you could tell to, when the camera comes to the crowd. You're like, no, no, no, no, no. And Kiwis don't want to be filmed anyway. But this was the extra, like, please don't, mate. Please don't. Please don't.

Did you try and disguise yourself by just leaning behind someone else? Oh, there was a couple of us mates trying to get like, mate, don't, don't. And he's probably like, nah, I'm going to really zoom in on these guys. And he knows what he's doing. That camera guy knows what he's doing. And so the teacher, then when you got back to school, the teacher called you into their office. Yeah, and said, yeah, you're in trouble, so. Hold on. Why didn't you fire it back? why were you watching the cricket when you should have been

teaching oh that's true clap back a great play from my member my mate at the time because he pulled us out of class to talk to us about it and then he's like oh my mate's like well can you write us a note to go back to say why we're out of class you know we're late for the next class uh and he's like what a name your paper and my mate goes well here use this and put in his cricket tickets probably not the time but one of those great plays at the moment he's like right on the back of this okay i'll wait under the hits when you use an excuse and you're absolutely caught out it didn't work at all you can text as well four four eight seven this morning to that in a few moments it is the hits you got john on ben here we go i think we were just talking about

John O'Ban trying to use an excuse yesterday to get off our team what he said was a team Zoom turned out it wasn't a Zoom it was a Microsoft Teams which apparently don't have a time limit on them well they should do and you're like mate we've got to go the Zoom's telling me I need to go and we've all talked about it behind his back

and gone he was definitely lying well there's two things that don't lie in life. Microsoft Teams and Shakira's hips. They don't lie. That's true. That's what she's been saying for a long time. We want to know if an excuse has backfired this morning on 800 of the hits.

I was just actually remembering while that song was playing. Now, a few years ago, we had Taika Waititi and Jermaine Clement from Flight of the Conchords, of course. So they came into the studio. We were working in another radio station. Oh, God, I know what he's going to say. Around the time we had the TV show as well, and they had made the movie What We Do in the Shadows.

Awesome movie, and there was a premiere that night. They were doing the interview with us, and they were like, are you coming along to the premiere? Now, originally we said no, we couldn't come along to the premiere because we did have something for work. But that had basically been moved. It was gone. But you went into the story going, oh, no, we can't come tonight

because we had this thing for work, but that's not happening anymore. And then it sort of just paused. We're like, why did he just say, but that's not happening anymore? And then you were looking at me and then they said it. So Jermaine went,

so you just don't want to come? Yeah, he was like, he broke it down. He said, so you had something on and now you don't have something on. So that means you could come and you're like, well, yeah broke it down. He said, so you had something on, and now you don't have something on, so that means you could come. And you're like, well, yeah, I guess. But you're not going to go.

It was like, oh, this is the most awkward thing ever. I mean, he's just gone, hey, we had this thing on where you said, we thought it was too late now to go back and say, hey, this thing's changed. It was a shocker. It was a shocker. Nothing worse than being called out as well. I mean, like, Jermaine, do the polite Kiwi thing and go, well, that was weird, but just think to yourself about it.

Talk about behind my back to your mate in the car. Well, he was confused. We're all confused. Hang on. It was a confusing situation. Now you don't, so you could go? Yeah, I could, I guess. So if you flopped out an excuse and it's absolutely backfired,

we'll get Leah on from Taupo. How are you, Leah? Yeah, morning, boys. I'm good. How are you, Leah? Yeah, morning, boys. I'm good. How are you? Good to have you on. What happened? Well, I was kind of dating this guy, and it was about the third one.

He asked me out again. I wasn't really feeling it, so I didn't want to go on it. I told him I was sick, went out with the girls and he was in the same place. Oh, at the bar. I mean, you could do, there's two options there. You've made a miraculous recovery or B, you thought this was the doctors. Those are the only ways you could save it. Did he talk to you?

I kind of just gave him an awkward look And it was like that across the room of like I don't know what to say And then yeah I didn't message him back after He was like are you feeling better? And I was like yeah No recovery from that Appreciate your call, Leah. You're going to have a great weekend, eh?

We'll get Stacey on from Wellington. Stacey, excuses backfiring. Hi. So my workmates all wanted to go bowling, like a team afternoon thing, but I absolutely hate bowling. So I was like, nah, I'm just going to tell them I've got holes in my socks. So like, you know, that's a bit gross.

Don't want to wear some shoes that heaps of other people have. So every pair of your socks had holes in them? Yeah, that was my excuse, because they wanted to go right then and there. So I was like, nah, I've got holes in my socks. And it's a good on-the-spot excuse. You've come up with a creative one. I thought so, too, but then someone was like, nah, take your shoes off, prove it, because they know that I hate bowling. Oh, and you're like, you monster, why would you make me do this?

Yeah, I just started cracking up laughing because that's my coping mechanism, and then they're like, nah, get in the car. I saw someone, we were at the bowling alley a few weeks ago, someone went bare feet in the bowling shoes. I thought that was a... Oh, really? Gee, that was a risky... Yeah, that's what they made me do. I was that person. You're playing Russian roulette, putting your bare feet in bowling shoes, aren't you?

Thank you for your call, Stacey. Really appreciated. Text actually has come through here, 4487. I got a speeding ticket because I had a crazy woman try to open the passenger door while I was sitting at the traffic light. So I was doing over 50 kilometers. The officer pulled me over. I told the officer about the crazy lady trying to get into the car.

And they still gave me a speeding ticket. Mind you, when you're talking about a crazy lady getting into the car, you know, it does sound like an excuse. Remember that lady I took, I picked up once? Oh, yeah. So I was driving down the road, and this lady came running out of the house, looked a little frazzled, maybe lacking a bit of sleep, over the last two or three days. And she was waving her arms in the house, looked a little frazzled, maybe lacking a bit of sleep over the last two or three days.

And she was waving her arms in the air and she's like, I need to get to the district court. Can you take me to the district court? Good on you. It was awesome that you took her along. Yeah, and I was like, oh, listen, I'm 100 metres down the road from work. I could just go to work. But no, I was like, no, here's my good deed for life. Yeah.

I'll take this lady to the district court so she can appear in front of the judge and we're driving to the court she's like oh i'm a bit hungry can you take me to wendy's and i'm like what i was like okay well you can't you can't go to court on anybody's stomach so they're just talking to wendy's and she's legit This is legit. This is legit, yeah. Now he met Jenna's wife. No, no, I'm kidding. It was our first date. Jeez, I love that lady. I shouted her a Baconator, took her to court. She got off the charges and we went straight to the registry

office. What a wonderful date. Sorry, I don't mean that. So I ended up just basically doing this lady's to-do list around town Talking to Wendy's She's like Can I go visit my mate You're like

What time is this court thing As I hear you At one point I was like Listen I'm just getting a drop of air I'm sorry You've had a good run out of me

This has been 45 minutes of my time As an unpaid Uber driver And the opposite I bought you a bloody burger. When does this end? So good, we've got five grand up for grabs very shortly.

Five words for 5k on the hits. You're only five words away from a massive payday. It is our game of word association. We play it every morning at right about this time. We try and match five words with your five words. If we match all five you win $5,000. Now, we've been knocking on the door of winning lately, haven't we?

Just furiously knocking. Winning hasn't come to the door yet, so we'll try and start aggressively pushing the doorbell maybe just to get their attention. We'll head to Porirua. Kay, how's Porirua this morning, all right? Yeah, it's not too bad. Yeah, what do you do there, buddy?

I'm in early childhood. All right, well, you do there, buddy? I'm in early childhood. All right. Well, you're teaching those kids out there, teaching them to be good children. Now, Kay, we hopefully will win you $5,000 right now. You know how the game works, obviously. Yeah. It's not more if he was Pop Quiz, in case you were phoning up for that.

You need to decide now who to send into the soundproof booth to match with. Can I send Ben, please? You can send Ben. He's done a good job of matching his clothes today, so let's hope he can match words with you as he heads into our soundproof booth with the glass door, which would make for a shocking public toilet, but it does make for a useful soundproof booth.

Kay, let's get into it. The money, what would it go towards? I'm not really too sure. I'd probably just put it away until I decide what to get into it. The money, what would it go towards? I'm not really too sure. I'd probably just put it away until I decide what to do with it. That's a lot of cash, isn't it? Yeah. All right, here we go.

Hey, bee humps, where's the words? I've got them on my sheet. My computer must be frozen. Can I borrow your computer? Sorry. Sorry, Kay, this is shocking. You don't see Bradley Walsh doing this on the chase, do you? Where are the questions again?

Here's the first word. Hubby. What was that? Hubby. H-U-B-B-Y. Hubby. Oh. Husband? Why? Hubby. Oh, um, husband?

Word number two, olive. Olive. Oil? Okay, you're doing really well so far. Online, sliding in at number three. Shopping. Silver. Silver.

Gold. Play. Is that play or clay? Yeah, play. P-L-A-Y. Play. Play. Children. Given your vocation and appropriate words and an appropriate set of words you've come back with there, Kay.

You did really well. Explain to the audience what it's like actually playing in real life. It's nervous. Yeah. Like you listen to the radio and you're shouting at everybody, you know, like the words to say,

but then when you actually have to do it, it's like, oh, wow, I actually have to think about this. Yeah. Now Ben Boyce has emerged from the soundproof booth.

A slow door open and a very guilty look on your face. Oh no, I was just confused because Behumps gave me a thumbs up and then took the thumbs up

down. And I was like, oh, and then he was like thumbs up again. So I was like, oh, and then he gave me a thumbs up again. So I was like. It was like you had awkwardly walked into a room and saw something that you weren't meant to see. Yeah, so I'm like, am I okay to come back in now?

You know this is an open door policy. It's not when the game's playing. No, a closed door policy with the games player. But as always, I've got an open door in this office, my friend, for you. K did well. And K, $5,000 on the line right now if you match with Ben Boyce. Yeah. Olive.

Oil. One from 1K. Online. Shopping. Two from 2K Really? Silver Metal?

Gold K went gold Silver, gold We were thinking the same thing You were Oh, K, I'm sorry. Oh, that's all right. From the bottom of our hearts, we deeply apologise.

Is there anything we can do to make this better? Apart from giving you $5,000. Yeah, well, that would be it, right? Yeah, I was going to say yes. Yeah, okay. So there's nothing else. Okay, sorry. I threw it out there to make us look like good people.

We'll go through the remaining two words. Play. Ground. Children and... Oh, that's it, eh? What else was it? You missed the number one. Hubby.

Hubby. Husband? Oh, okay, yeah. You did well. Well done. Not too bad. Three out of five is not too bad, Kay. Will you go and look after those early childhood children, okay,

and have a great weekend. Love your work. Yep, you too. Thank you. Spy's coming up, Jew. Yeah, Ed Sheeran has spilt some tea on what it's really like in the awards shows that we see all the glitz and glam. I'll fill you in next.

Never win first place. Spy. No, what's up? Spy.co.nz. If they're richer than us and better looking than us and probably don't care about us, well then you're going to hear about them right now in Spy. So Ed Sheeran has spilt a bit of gossip about what it's really like at the award shows.

So we recently had the Met Gala and the VMAs, and we see all these famous people looking just amazing on the red carpet, and it all seems very glitz and glam. And it is very glitz and glam, I'm assuming. But he said that once everyone's sort of inside, he said, quote, the room is filled with resentment and hatred towards everyone else and it's quite an uncomfortable atmosphere. And he said it's not usually the celebrities themselves,

but every celebrity is surrounded by an entourage of 10 people. So you've got one person with 10 people, a team of 10 people, another with 10 people. And the entourage is quite competitive because they don't want anyone else to win. And everyone's just kind of giving each other the side eye and it's quite awkward. The cling is on.

Yeah. Yeah, right. They've jumped in the limousine. Going for the ride. Like it kind of makes sense because it's such big deals for these artists, you would assume, especially the Grammys and the Oscars. I suppose it results in record sales and movie sales,

ticket sales if they have a win, so probably the business people associated with them are wanting... Gets quite competitive. Oh, make to get up there and get an award, sell a few more, get a few more streams, a few more downloads, Ben Boyce to get up there, get a few more plays for his wonderful music a few more streams, a few more downloads, Ben Boyce to get up there, get a few more plays

for his wonderful music, the Shots You Crack jingle. So he was saying it was, in the UK, it's kind of more of a sort of... In the UK, it doesn't seem to be like that. I quite like the New Zealand music scene sometimes. They enjoy, you know, a few drinks. Yes. At the New Zealand Music Awards, basically,

it's just a giant party with an inconvenient awards show happening in front of it We've been fortunate enough and it's a great honour to host those awards but it's hard to keep the room Have you tried holding the attention of 5,000 drunk people?

Oh mate, there was one time it was a live show and we were cut to commercials for the TV show, but then they basically didn't want us to lose the room, so we had to keep going through the commercials. Through the ads. It's like putting on little performances for the room just to keep things going. Don't let them lose attention.

Well, we looked like no one knew because people were talking in our ear, so no one knew that we almost looked like we had sort of voices in our head because you'd be in the middle of doing something going, oh, we've got to fill for, say, maybe three minutes because we're in an air break. We'll be in the middle of something, and then they'll go, 10 seconds, you're back on, you're back live on TV. And so suddenly you'd be in the middle of it and go, all right. We're doing a two-man pantomime for the whole stadium.

And we'd abruptly just stop that, and then we'd go back and go, Kia ora, welcome back. It is the hotel arena. You're like, what? And people are like, hang on, what happens at the end of that thing? Yeah. Oh, my goodness. Drunk people are like your generation on the internet, Juliet.

No attention span whatsoever. You lose them in 15 seconds, don't you? I would expect that. I would expect that. Although I imagine if you're Ed Sheeran and the likes of, attending one awards show, you've been to them all. Yes. So the novelty would wear off.

Oh, totally, I reckon. I mean, the amount of school assemblies I've attended, you know, would be the amount of awards show that Ed Sheeran's attended. Yeah, I think it said in the article that he's won over 115 awards, from Grammys to AMAs to all the different awards ceremonies throughout his career. And that would mean nothing

now, surely. Yeah, I know. He'd need a special room to put all of his awards in. A dedicated room. It's like when you always get given a certificate of merit. You're like, well, this is, what is this? This is just what, because I turned up on time? Yeah. And that is your SPI update this morning.

For more, you can head to thehits.co.nz. New Zealand's breakfast. This is Jono and Ben on the Hits. Kia ora, good morning. Just got on 8 o'clock. You're with Jono and Ben. Last night was our TV show, Jono and Ben, our new TV show, Jono and Ben Good Sports on TVNZ 2 at 8 o'clock. You can catch up on TVNZ On Demand if you missed it.

And every week we do a bit of a watch and win. So if you text your name to the number at that time and we check the people that text at that time, you can win $500 right now on the radio. I'll tell you what, there's not many shows out there just giving you cash apart from The Chase. Who wants to be a millionaire? The Tipping Point's quite a good one too.

There's a lot of shows out there giving you cash. But not many shows out there giving you unmarked bills. So no one speaks any word of this from this day forward. We don't want this trace back to Ben and myself. That's right. But you do owe us a favour in the future if the Sicilian mafia or something come knocking on Ben's door. So today's winner is? So Kirstie Skinner is the name.

Now, Kirstie, we're going to give you one song to give us a call on 0800THEHITS. If you call up within the song, you'll get $500. If not, it'll jackpot to $1,000 next week. All right, Kirstie Skinner, 0800THEHITS, the telephone number. Give us a call. Did you watch the ads last night during the show? The first ad break you talked about It felt like five or six commercials All featuring us

In the commercial break So there was a show obviously featuring us I think we had an ad for Five Words The game we put on the hits Jono and Ben's Five Words for 5K And then the next ad was something That had us in it as well It was like watch him win

And then there next ad was something that had us in it as well. It was like watch him win. And then there was another ad. There's a Cadbury ad. I tell you, I think I saw Ben pop up in a probiotic gut health commercial, and I did one for Nivea Moisturiser as well, just throughout that whole break. Yeah, so I'll enter in the hits if your name is Kirsty Skinner, and if you're back, we're back with her next. She'll win $500. If not, it'll

jackpot to next week, it is the hit. Mmm, coffee breath. Jono and Ben, the hits. So we just gave Kirsty basically that song to give us a call for last night's watch and win on Jono being good sports. She hasn't called, so that means it jackpots to next week. Yeah, didn't win $500.

Please no one tell Kirsty. I know. She won't be happy about this. Oh, you'll be like, oh, what? Yeah, we'll just keep this between ourselves. Hush about Kirsty winning $500 this morning. It's $1,000 next week. Yeah, this is great. Next week, I think we go wrestling, which is

wild. Last night was wild. Barefoot water skiing, which is a sport that I don't think I ever want to do again. Wrestling is that one you go and then you're like, well, this is serious risk of permanent injury. Because you don't know what you're doing. You don't know how to land on the mat when you're being thrown down from two metres above. And we're no athletes, which is quite clear. Because one of those things, we had a conversation about doing it.

And then they were like, well, maybe we shouldn't, health and safety, we shouldn't get in the wrestling ring. So much can go wrong. But then I was like, oh, but it would be a better show if we're in the ring. He kept saying that. I was like, come on, guys, it would be a better show. And everyone's like, yeah, it would be. And then you reminded me of that when I was nervous.

Halfway through, he's like, I'm so scared. I'm so scared. I'm like, well, can I cash my mind back to a meeting when you're like, it would be better television. And I was like, oh, you're right, you're right. Now, I know you're always after feedback for the show, Ben. You always want constructive criticism, don't you? So if you've got any, 4487, Ben will read it right now.

Oh, no, don't go over that. Any feedback, you know, pull no punches. Because you wanted feedback from Hosking. You wanted feedback from our mothers last week. Yeah. So now I'm going to give you the opportunity to get some feedback from the horse's mouth. So what we're going to do is we're going to phone TVNZ.

Right. And we'll go to the front desk where I know they can log feedback. People phone up and they're like, oh, there's too much Maori language being shoved down my throat. You know, people over 60 years old might do that, you know, potentially. You know, why has Coronation Street time changed? This sort of feedback. So I thought you could phone up as yourself and just ask for some feedback.

The twist is I'm going to be holding up signs as to what you have to say. Oh, so I have to say these things on there? Yeah, you do. Now, you know, some of these might be a bit uncharacteristic to you. Some of these might come across borderline arrogant. But okay, play the game if you want the feedback.

Because I know you want the feedback. Alright, Patricia, Julia, have you got a bell? If I read one of these things out, you'll hear this. Okay, here we go. Good morning, TVNZ. You're speaking with Vanya. How may I help? Oh, hi.

How are you doing? Good, thanks. How are you? It's critically acclaimed comedian Ben Boyce speaking. Oh, hi. How's it going? Hey, good. Tell me about your favourite show on TVNZ at the moment.

Featuring me at the moment. What would that be? See your shows out. Yeah, tell me about your favourite show on TVNZ that I may have appeared on. Oh, that's absolutely, it's The Good Sports. Yeah, you must be a big fan of the show I should be watching it I need to

I need to be watching that What have been some of the favourable I don't want to ask this, Jono What have been some of the favourable things That people have been writing in Or calling you up about me? Well, we haven't had any complaints about the show Oh, that's, I guess

I'd like to sell that No complaints? Okay. Yeah. You can't have a lot. And we haven't actually had anything around that. Okay, so no complaints. Okay, that's good.

So there's no positive stuff, but no complaints. So it's, you know. No, exactly. So I mean, you know, what you don't know won't hurt your situation. The final question that I just want to know is which out of the two, Jono and Ben, would you say is the most charismatic? And if you weren't going to say Jono, I mean, you'd obviously say. Probably I would have to say Ben. There we go.

Only because I'm talking to him. It is Ben. Yeah, well, thank you. Not because you're the one that's talking to me. No, definitely because of the way I talk. No biased opinion at all. Look, it's John. I'm not going to lie. If John was taking this call, I probably would have said him.

Yeah, well, I'm awkwardly listening. Oh, God. He's making me say all these well, I'm awkwardly listening. Oh, God. He's making me say all these things. I didn't want to say any of them. We just wanted some feedback on the show, and I was like, I didn't really want the... I'm going to have to hide behind my desk now every time you guys come in. Well, thank you so much for being... For passing on...

Being in an awkward situation. It was slightly... It was. I made it more awkward than it probably needed to be. I'm sorry about that. He says he was reading signs up that I was holding, but I actually wasn't. No, it was. I made it more awkward than it probably needed to be. I'm sorry about that. He says he was reading signs up that I was holding, but I actually wasn't. No, you were.

It was a call purely driven by ego. Well, thank you for being a good sport, so to speak. All right. See you later, guys. Have a good one. Bye. Bye. There you go.

No feedback, Ben. Sorry. It was humiliating. It was humiliating. Yeah. And I feel like there's a lot less Sorry. It was humiliating. It was humiliating. Yeah. And I feel like there's a lot less things. I was reading all those things you were saying. You stitched me up in the ding process as well.

Stitch me up in the ding process. I was reading all this stuff. I was hearing no dings. And I'm like, I'd come up with the top going, critically acclaimed comedian Ben Boyce here. That was off a thing I was reading. A classic ding stitch up there. What's a stitch up? What's a stitch up? Which one do you like more, Jono

or Ben? I'm not, yeah, anyway. Rated M for mildly amusing. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast. So yesterday on the news there was a bit of a historic joint announcement between the United States, United Kingdom and Australia. It's a trilateral

security partnership. A three way sort of deal. And they had Biden was on there, he was there, and basically on these two TVs was the Australian Prime Minister, Scott Morrison, on one side, and then they had Boris Johnson, the British Prime Minister, on the other side. And Biden had just heard from Boris Johnson, thanked him, and went to sort of thank Scott Morrison as well, and kind of had a moment where it felt like he forgot his name. Have a listen. Thank you. Over to you, Mr. President. Thank you, Boris.

And I want to thank that fellow down under. Thank you very much, pal. Appreciate it, Mr. Prime Minister. I want to thank that fellow from down under, pal. Were you calling someone pal? Hey, thanks, pal. Hey, Morris. I want to thank that fella from down under, Pal. Were you calling someone Pal? Hey, thanks, Pal. Hey, buddy. You and all your good deals and stuff.

Love you down there in New Zealand. He pulled it back shortly afterwards where he got their names correct. But it reminded me at the moment we've had a lot of mileage. Oh, please play this. He mixes up his sister and his wife. Yeah, have a listen. By the way, this is my little sister, Valerie, and I'm out of us. Oh, please play this. He mixes up his sister and his wife. Yeah, have a listen. By the way, this is my little sister Valerie, and I'm Jill's husband. Oh, no, this is my wife.

This is my sister. They switched on me. Maybe Boris and Scott switched on him. And I'm Jill. And I'm Jill. Great work, pal. I love how he goes, and I'm Joe, just to reiterate. I've still got my marbles.

I know who I am. It's these other two who are confusing me. They're the ones switching up. It's all on them. Like getting your news from the internet. Half-truths and false information. Joe and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast. It's pretty much our show.

Before we go, we're just watching this. Now, Chris Martin from Coldplay was on Kelly Clarkson. She's got a talk show in the States, and she brought out her kids because there's a cool little story. Her young kids love singing Coldplay at home. So she's like, we've got Chris Martin. We'll get the kids out, and we'll get them to sing along to some Coldplay. A little shaky move. Kids are unreliable talent, aren't they?

Yes, yeah, well, true. And her son, her little son, cute little son, had a little jacket on. It looked awesome. But he wasn't singing, and Chris Martin stopped midway through to wonder why he wasn't singing. Have a listen. Look at the stars, look how they shine for you. Are you just the guy in the band that looks handsome, doesn't say anything? You're like our bass player.

River's the one. He never says anything. I need to go to the bathroom. Good reason for not singing, though, eh? It's so cute. Mind you, if he's playing a song like Yellow and he's needing to go to the bathroom, it's like running a tap when someone's busting, you know? That's a reminder of, oh, God, I need to go to the bathroom.

It's a very, very cute moment from Kelly Clarkson's kids in Coldplay. You guys go and have a wonderful weekend, no matter where you are in the country, what level you're in. Get out there. Spread your legs. You know the rules. It could be the last weekend of Auckland's Level 4. We'll find out if it will be.

Don't forget, after 9 o'clock this morning, the Hits are playing nothing but 90 songs all day. So that's going to be awesome. Have a great weekend. We'll catch you Monday from 6 o'clock. See you then. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with We'll catch you Monday from 6 o'clock. See you then.