Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: GUESS WHO'S BACK, BACK AGAIN!!

Episode Date: January 23, 2022

Happy New Year and all that jazz! We're stoked to be back with you this year and hope everyone had a safe and happy break (if you did manage to get a break in!) On today's show we spoke to a woman who listed her husband on TradeMe for sale, Jono shared a story about how he got attacked by something over the holidays, and we're starting to compile a list of 22 predictions for 2022. Will we have another lockdown? Will Pete Davidson date another celebrity? Will Harry & Meghan make amends with the royals? If you have any predictions, let us know on Instagram! Enjoy the first poddy for 2022!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, with the Jono and Ben podcast. The boys are back! Welcome, there we go. 24 the Jan really like to catch Ben off guard with these podcast intros. Started the new year with how we left it last year. With an intro, but it's nice to be back. It is really good to be back. I always catch you in these moments, you're clearing emails, and then I just start talking. Yeah, you do the monologue. You get flummoxed, and then you put your headphones on, and you're like, oh we're doing this now, aren't we?

Yeah. So you're never fully prepared or engaged at're doing this now, aren't we? Yeah. So you're never fully prepared or engaged at the beginning of these, but then you come around. I'm here now and I'm enjoying the first podcast intro for 2022. Now talk to me. Your break. Too long, too short. Probably too long, to be honest.

Too long, too long, to be honest. Not everyone says my break is too long. No one in the history of breaks has ever said too long, too long. In the history of holiday. For me, too long. Too long. Was it too long? It was too long.

I would have like, in hindsight, I would have taken that time and split it out amongst the year. Right. That's the thing. I feel like I personally

took too long here and it's got to be like a long road to the next Christmas. You know? Yeah. Because I get to the stage where I'm like, we need to start doing stuff.

People start back at things. You see other people doing things. You're like, oh, I need to be doing stuff. So what would you have shaved off at least a week? A week, yeah. At least a week, yeah. Probably like four weeks is a sweet time. Five weeks is pretty long.

My family was sick of me by the end of it. Were you getting all uppity last week? Up and down, clearing emails. I was just pretty much like, I'm back into work, mate. I came into work a couple of days. I'm like, I'm back in the office. Let's do it. Let's get back into it. 2022, what am I achieving? It's just like January's gone. The first month of the year's pretty much gone. I'm like, I've achieved. What have I achieved? It's time to rest. It's the rest time. Oh yeah, so back into it. It's good to rest It's the rest time So back into it It's good to be back into it guys I think we're on New Year's Day

On the first What have I achieved today? I've done nothing I've achieved nothing It's like you're on holiday You can relax Lie down No it's nice to have some

Don't get me wrong I just love to have some family time I did enjoy that I mean Hosking's not back till Feb 1st No he's not back today Is he not? No. He'll be getting

angsty. He's like me. He'll be getting angsty. Well, he's not like me, but he's like me in that sense of like,

just wanting to get stuff done. What have I achieved? Who have I wound up? I haven't had one sledge at Jacinda through the whole month of January.

That's right, she hasn't heard about it. The audience doesn't know my opinion on her wedding. Yeah, exactly. The wedding that's not happening. We had a fun first show back today, didn't we? It was enjoyable, yeah. We did actually cover off the Jacinda delaying her wedding

to Clark Gayford with a below the belt gag for me too, which you'll hear. It took me by surprise. More than the podcast intro when it comes in, you know? I remember, oh! And then you put it back with, hey, he's a mate of ours, he'll be fine. It was a relation to Clark, who I do love,

and he is a friend, he's a dear friend. We've known him for many years. He used to work with him, work out of his flat. And he would take it, he would take it. We've always said that, that's always been something we've tried to do, is like, would you make that joke if the person was in the room? And I feel like you probably would. I would say that to him. But we'd all would have gone oh yeah yeah it was below the

belt yeah yeah i'll take that on the chin uh you'll hear that coming up on the podcast also uh being boys we spoke to a lady who's selling her husband on trade me yes i know this has made big news and he has retaliated with something so you'll find out what that is today on the podcast as well as that um we're making predictions for 2022. 22 predictions. If you've got any, hit us up on our social media. Enjoy the podcast. It is a hit, sir.

Jono and Ben are back for 2022. Couldn't even say the year correctly. It's a fumbly start for me. It's a shocking start. It is. You know, I've had four weeks and we're like, come back in and here we go. That was your debut. That was your big return to radio.

I've said some stuff before, but you're right. That was fun. That doesn't count. It was over the intro of Rihanna. Everyone was waiting for her to sing. It is good to be back. Happy New Year, guys. Good to see you.

You still say Happy New Year? Yeah, you do it. I feel like you can keep saying Happy New Year to anyone you haven't greeted with your eyeballs that year. So, you know, July, if I run into Karen from accounting, thanks to us being in level red, I can say, happy new year, Karen. Well, that's true. Don't you think that's the safe zone? Well, yeah, but then I went to the supermarket and there was hot cross buns out. I'm like, well, really, you know, is it happy year? Oh, my goodness.

Yeah, I know. So it's really, they feel like the supermarket's moved on to Easter. Why don't I? How are you, Ju? I'm good. I'm glad I didn't see you on the news over the holiday period. There we go. Yeah, we had one meeting, like a work meeting, and Jono, you beamed in from home over Zoom. You're like, I'm not even coming in for that.

Too arrogant to come in. No, you said one thing during the meeting, and it was like slander against poor Juliet. In front of new management. Yes. There's new management there, and I said, well, I took my microphone off mute, and Emily, the boss, said, is anyone going to say anything? I said, well, I'd microphone off mute and Emily, the boss said, is anyone

going to say anything? I said, well I'd like to welcome the new people to the station. Which is nice. Yeah. And I said, well I haven't heard from Juliet in a month. Haven't heard a thing and I'm glad she hasn't overdosed at a festival. And I was like, excuse me, this is the first day I've met our new boss.

What's she going to think of me? Excuse me. And then I put my microphone back on mute and went back. Welcome back to you too, Jonathan. No, it was lovely. Did you have a good break though, Jo? Yes, no, it was lovely. It was very good. I must say I didn't actually really keep up with the news as much over the break.

So I felt like I wanted to have a mental break from the news. Come back, we're in red, baby. Yeah, that's the thing, isn't it? Can I just say on behalf of Aotearoa and everyone in New Zealand, thank you, Omicron, for letting us have a holiday. It did feel like a little bidet. I mean, you can tell Omicron was keen to get out, enjoy the weather, enjoy the beaches that we have to offer, but it was like, no, no,

I'll let New Zealand have a few weeks. Yeah. And then we'll come in hard. Yeah, all right, 2022, new year, new me, new virus, here I go, you know. And it's ready to start work now, you know, right, isn't it? Which is good, just when we were all ready to start work. What is red? Red's back to what it was just before Christmas.

Basically, 100 people was the cap for, yeah, so it's really bad for events, like sports events and concerts and things like that. And I feel for Northland because on Friday, Northland went from red to orange. Oh, yeah. And now feel for Northland because on Friday, Northland went from orange to, sorry, from red to orange. Oh, yeah. And now I've gone back to red. One weekend. You're like, oh.

Oh, that's rough. Yeah. I hope they had a great weekend, though. One weekend. That's the main thing. We'll keep you up to date with more that happened over our holidays this morning.

But next, a reporter in the US. This is frightening. Have a listen to this. Unfortunately, in freestyle, we see this. This is frightening. Have a listen to this. Unfortunately, in freestyle, we see this. Waterman breaks. Find out what happened there next. It is the hits. You got Jono and Ben.

Jono and Ben. The hits. Is the aircon broken in this room or have I got Omicron? Because my temperature is rising. Are you guys sweaty? Yes, I am a temperature is rising. You're running hot. Are you guys sweaty? Yes, I am a little bit warm, yeah. You look really nervous this morning.

I don't know what's going on. Sweaty. Yeah. You know when you're like, have I got it? Oh, no. Do I need to? No, please don't.

Let's look at some of the news happening in New Zealand and around the world. Scrolling through your feed. He already looks worn out and tired and that's because he's back carrying the burden of the news on his shoulders, Ben Boyce with scrolling.

By now you know New Zealand's back in the red traffic light setting. A couple of announcements are made by Jacinda Ardern over the last couple of days. The first, I don't know if you saw this a couple of days ago, last week, she made an announcement outside a press conference, which was interesting because a lot of cicada noise. Have a listen. Kia ora koutou katoa. Today I'll be providing

an update on the traffic light settings and the work being done to prepare an outbreak. I remember just before Christmas it felt like, or maybe just before New Year's, when the hippo, he also held a press conference in a park. Chris Hipkins.

And it felt like the hippppo's missus said, you haven't seen the kids all year. You're going to spend a day with the kids. He took them to the park. And then bloody old DJ Omnicron came over. Remember that was his announcement? And he sort of walked down that sort of bank, that hill. The hill, yeah.

And the Hippo's like, oh, God, the missus isn't going to be happy with me. Stay there, kids. Stay there, kids. I've just got to pop my way to do something for two minutes. Yeah, another announcement, of course, made by the Prime Minister over the weekend was that her wedding to fiancé Clark Gayford is going to be postponed. As for mine, my wedding will not be going ahead, but I just join many other New Zealanders who have had an experience like that

as a result of the pandemic. And to anyone who's caught up in that scenario, I'm so sorry. Oh, you're not. Yeah, what? Of course she is. Do you know how many times I heard that Jacinda got married over the holiday period? So many times.

It always came from confident boomers. Boomer rumors. Boomer rumors. I said, we need a segment, boomer rumors, because they just say it like it's fact. I heard she got married. She's married already, that sort of thing. Boomer rumors. I said, we need a segment, Boomer Rumors, because they just say it like it's fact. I heard she got married. She's married already, that sort of thing. Don't argue.

Well, Tiffany wasn't. How many times did you hear she had secretly got married? Oh, there's all sorts of Boomer Rumors. I heard all the guests had to sign non-disclosure agreements. Couldn't say anything. And finally in news. Classic, though. She probably is married, then put us in red.

Champagne Jacinda. Seems like something she'd do. What are you, Chris Larkson? And over in America. Yes, Iinda. Seems like something she'd do. Did you just come back? What are you, Chris Larkson? Yeah. And over in America... Yes, I get confused for him quite a lot. You do look a lot like him. Never seen the two of you in the same room at the same time.

But this is in West Virginia. They had some terrible weather in America because, of course, they are in the winter at the moment. And this reporter was doing a live cross on the side of a street and she got hit by a car. Have a listen. I'd imagine this is what I think Juliet would be like if she was a reporter.

Have a listen. Unfortunately, in freestyle, we see this. Waterman breaks. Oh, my gosh. I got hit by a car, but I'm okay. I just got hit by a car, but I'm okay, Tim. That's first for you on TV, Tori. I'm okay.

Yeah, you know, that's live TV for you. It's all good. I actually got hit by a car in college too, just like that. I am so glad I'm okay. That is definitely USA Juliet. I'm okay. It's fine. I actually got hit by a car like that in college once.

It was wild. Here we are back at it again. Still at a festival, Juliet. Did the car knock over the camera? Did it knock her over it again. Still at a festival, Julia. Yeah. Did the car knock over the camera? Did it knock her over? Just knocked her, sort of, yeah. And then obviously the person stopped and made sure she was okay. So she was having a conversation with the person during that while doing a live cross. So yeah, very scary stuff, but she's all good.

Was it a parallel parking situation? No, she was just on the side of the street reporting and the car... And someone just mowed into her? Yeah. She took it really well, didn't she? Like a champ. She's got experience. She's got experience.

She's been hit by a car once before in college. You're on New Zealand's Breakfast. Jono and Ben, we're back for 2022. Having the same conversation with everyone you see. How was your holidays? And you don't care? No, you can pretty much check out once you say, how was your holidays?

Did you get up tonight? Yeah, if someone starts talking, I shut down. You're like, why did I ask that? But you're right. I had a moment over the weekend because I was like, you know, hanging out with the family. It was a long time. I was like, this is cool.

You know, I haven't got sick of this. I could do this all day. And then I realised I was the one the family was sick of. Oh, really? Yeah, because I had the radio going. Yesterday I listened to the hits, doing some work, came back into the lounge. I was like, oh, who turned the radio off? And Ind the hits doing some work came back into the lounge I was like oh

who turned the radio off? And Andy my daughter who's 10 was like I did for some peace and quiet and I was like oh I'm that person I have broken my family You've come back

you've somehow come back looking skinnier Did you survive off like a single tub of hummus? What did you do? Doesn't he Juliet? Yes He's lost weight

over the period. I put on 15 kgs and chips. Chips and dip. That's your staple. That is your staple. But as you mentioned before, yeah, a bit of an attack. Oh, it was a, yeah, a cruel attack. In the ocean, I don't know if anyone listening also encountered this, but there was a high population of sea lice.

Now, sea lice, they are unforgiving, aren't they? And what they do, I've done a lot of research into sea lice. They're not actually lice. Now, sea lice, they are unforgiving, aren't they? And what they do, I've done a lot of research into sea lice, they're not actually lice. They're the larvae of the jellyfish. Oh, really? And so when the larvae get trapped under either a wetsuit or togs or something, or in my case, a dad rash

vest. Oh my God. No, no, I didn't have a rash vest. I didn't have a rash vest. There's nothing wrong with a dad rash vest. No, no, sorry. What's wrong with a rash shirt? I shouldn't judge. No, absolutely nothing. Oh, except gosh. No, no, I didn't have a rash shirt. Oh, dear, thank God. I didn't have a rash shirt. There's nothing wrong with a dead breast. No, no, sorry. What's wrong with a rash shirt? I shouldn't judge. No, absolutely nothing. Oh, except for fashion.

Sun smart. But it's good sun smart. I wear a rash shirt with abs painted on them. Oh, no. That's how cool I am on the beach. No. So when they get trapped under togs and they feel the pressure, they release the sting.

And then that is what outbreak was the outbreak. And, gee whiz, they got trapped under my togs and they were working hard these sea lice imagine being trapped under these milky white thighs they want to be like dear god we've taken a wrong turn here so you got quite a lot of bites so many bites it was like my my thighs and my sweet cheeks bed like a farmer's red dot sale. They were everywhere. And they got in like I don't know how they got in but then jeez, felt sorry for that one.

They couldn't get out. It was like MIQ though, a trap for 10 days. I haven't had that much action in my pants for a very long time. Very long time, Julia. Why had something unbelievable happen to me I'm going to tell you about.

I don't think anyone in the world has ever had this happen to them. I'll tell you about this after seven o'clock. It is the hits. You've got Jono and Ben. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits.

And it's time for the news and beeps. Producer Juliet, how does this work? So I found a couple of news stories on the internet and I wanted to focus

on some news stories that happened over the break but we might not have kind of seen them, but they're a little bit quirky. Okay, you're doing the autopsy on the quirky news corpse from the holiday period, Juliette. Yes, and I've beeped out a couple of words, and you guys have to guess what the headline is. Yeah, you're on a perfectly good headline. Yeah. It's an annoying beep.

Yeah, okay, the first news story. California twins born 15 minutes apart arrive in... Oh, okay, I'm going to say they arrived in Jeff Bezos' phallic-looking space rocket. We love that, don't we? It looks like it'd impregnate people. So maybe it's...

Maybe that's what they arrived in, I don't know. I'm going to say California twins born 15 minutes apart arrive in an Uber. The mum had done all the heavy lifting, send them home in an Uber. California twins born 15 minutes apart arrive in two different years. So this happened over New Year's. One was born on December 31st, 2021 at 11.45 and the other was born January 1st this year as the clock struck midnight.

So they can claim that they were born in different years, different months, different days, but they're still twins. That's crazy. Yeah. And then this did actually also happen in 2019 and 2020, but those babies could also claim they were born in different decades too,

but also be twins. If I was the mother, I'd be desperately hunting a news headline. So I'd almost be keeping one up there just for a few minutes. All right'd almost be keeping one up there. Just for a few minutes. Alright, let's move on from that. Then shunt it out after midnight.

Police officers fired for ignoring robbery in progress to play... Were they playing tennis filling in for Novak Djokovic in the Australian Open? I'm going to go

police officers were fired for ignoring robbery in progress to play iSpa. Now he's gone, iSpa with my little eye, something beginning with R. And the guy's like, ooh, is it Rubble Stiltzkin? No, no. And he couldn't figure out it was a robber.

What a wise, yeah. And then the crime was done. Police officers fired for ignoring robbery in progress to play Pokemon Go. So this pair of police officers, they received a call for backup because a robbery in Progress was happening near where they were. And instead of responding, they just ignored the request and kept on playing Pokemon Go. Are these police officers living in 2017? Well, ironically, I did look.

This story is, this did happen in 2017, but finally the court case has just been settled. Oh, you're right. Pokemon Go? Yeah, I know. Vaguely remember that? That's the thing they're most ashamed about now. Oh, dear God. At the time, it was fine.

It was. We had a friend, Sam, who really got swept up in the Pokemon madness. He got every one. Like, he caught them all. Seriously? Yeah. Wow. He really took over his life.

His family left him. And just quickly, the final headline. Woman self-isolates in **** for five hours after receiving positive COVID test documents the ordeal on TikTok. I'm going to say she's self-isolated in a space, you know, where

nothing is. So maybe the toilet paper aisle at the supermarket. Yes. I am going to say she's self-isolated in the Mount Eden Correctional Facility in Remand with Brian Tamaki. Woman self-isolates

in plain toilet for five hours after receiving positive COVID test documents the ordeal on TikTok. So she was flying from America

to Iceland. She did two tests before getting on the flight which were both negative. Then five hours into the flight she had a sore throat, took one of those rapid antigen tests in the toilet and which were both negative. Then five hours into the flight, she had a sore throat, took one of those rapid antigen

tests in the toilet, and it came back positive. So she just spent the rest of the plane ride in that little tiny claustrophobic area. The poor lady. But they delivered her food to the toilet. She kind of just, it was more, she chose to stay in there. Nothing like toilet food. Delightful. Ben and Jono call this show Jono and Ben. Nothing like toilet food. Delightful.

Ben and Jono call this show Jono and Ben. Breakfast on the Hits. The Hits. You're on the Hits. Jono and Ben are back for a new year and also back at the moment is an awesome food podcast by Ganesh Raj. You know him from Eat Well for Less. He joins us every week to talk about it. Good morning.

Happy New Year, Ganesh. Yo, yo, yo. Good morning, babies. How are you? Did you get those gorgeous pictorials Good morning. Happy New Year, Ganesh. Yo, yo, yo. Good morning, babies. How are you? Did you get those gorgeous pictorials out on the beach for everyone, Ganesh? Yeah, bro, definitely. And by that, I mean nothing. I got nothing for you.

You got nothing. You got nothing. Well, Ganesh is actually our resident chef who doesn't reside with us, nor has he ever cooked us a meal, Ben Boyce. That's true. Yeah, but we call him our resident chef from the Humble Yum Yum podcast. A fantastic podcast with Countdown.

Now, you've got Tom Sainsbury on the show this week, Ganesh. Yeah, I don't know if you've heard of him, Jono. He's quite famous. Oh, yeah, I've got a lot of time

for Tom Sainsbury. Well, not that much, Tom. I don't see him that much. You don't see anyone. Don't open that door. He's got no time for you, though. That's it, mate. You've got a lot of time for him.

But he grew up on a farm, and now he's a vegan. Now what he saw on the farm, the atrocities he saw on the farm, change him. That's it. So there were some critical instances. You'll hear it on a podcast. I don't want to give it away, but Tom basically reveals the two extremely horrific things that happened to him as a

kid, that basically turned him away from meat. There's no way you're going to have meat again, so yeah, have a listen man, it's pretty horrific. Ganesh, it is barbecue season, Ben, you had a couple of barbecue do's or don'ts that you wanted to throw at Ganesh Raj from the Humble Yum Yum podcast Okay Ganesh, if you go to a barbecue

I've had this happen. Jono's accused me of doing this before. I've bought some beers over and then I've grabbed one of his because it's colder and he's like, you can't grab a more expensive beer if you brought cheaper beers along to the barbecue. I'm like, what? Nah, I think that's totally fine, bro. If you're going to be the host of the barbecue, Jono, don't be a

cheapo, bro. Oh, hey, all I'm saying is if you're turning up with Hargens, don't start slamming Heinekens in your mouth. And I know the bottles look similar, particularly after a few. Look, there's very few things John O'Love and good expensive beers right up there. Next time I feel like you do need to come to the party, bring something like from Europe. I feel like Europe's really popular. Right.

Europe. Yeah something from Europe. I feel like Europe's really popular. Right. Europe. Bring something European. The other thing that I want to chuck out there in relation to the barbecue is, can you cook the vegetarian sausages with the meat? Well. Do you cook them first? Do you do the vegetarian sausages first? Get them out.

I cook them on the other side of the grill and don't tell anyone if they touch, bro. Come on now. We always like to take a call, Ganesh, a food-related call. And thanks to Countdown, we reward someone as well because they're a great sponsor and supporter of your podcast. And we've got Sonia on. Morena, Sonia, how are you? Morning, guys. I'm good, thanks.

We understand you've got to keep up with the theme of today, a vegetarian question for Ganesh. Yeah, yeah. So my question for Ganesh is, what's a good vegetarian meal that has high nutrient density? Well, well, well. It's a very specific question. Look, I thought about it.

I thought about it. And I want you to leave this conversation with something that you can go and do. So I've built a little dish for you. It's a humble yum yum dish. Okay. It's, of course, $20 for four people. So you're going to save money. Here it is.

Have you had a cauliflower steak? No. I've never made that before. Boom. Welcome. All right. Here we go. And it's perfect for summer, too, because you can grill it on the barbecue.

So you're going to slice a cauliflower and you're going to cut, especially in the middle section, you're going to go for that middle section. You're going to cut a steak about one centimeter thick. So not too thick, right? Yeah. And then that's got some olive oil on it, some salt and pepper. And you're going to grill that on the barbecue and do it like on a medium to low heat because you don't want to burn.

But what you're going to end up with is this beautiful cooked through, but it's got a bit of a char on it. So that's the cauliflower done. Cauliflower, of course, full of vitamin C and fiber, so that's a good start. You're going to mix that up with cooked garlic in olive oil and spinach. That's your bit of rice. Then you're going to put the cauli on top

and then you're going to smother that with the romesco sauce. And that, my dear, is a delicious, super strong vegetarian meal. Oh, wow. That's amazing. You make it sound so much easier than I thought it would be. It is easy. Just go to the Humble Yum Yum YouTube channel and type cauliflower,

and that recipe is there, and my ugly mug will show you how to make it. Yeah, nice. Ganesh Raj, just make sure you don't tell anyone if it touches a cheeky sausage. You don't talk about no cheeky sausage. You and your cheeky sausage get out of here. Sonia, thanks to Countdown. We're going to hook you up with a voucher so you can go buy some stuff. And you can catch the Humble Yum Yum podcast out right now.

All thanks to Countdown. Ganesh, we'll catch up with you next week. Thank you, team. Spy, the WhatsApp spy.co.nz. All right, like a double cheese sizzler exploding in your mouth. These celebrities are about to feel the burn. Yes. We had some double cheese sizzlers at my house on Friday, didn't we?

Is that what they were? Every time I eat a sizzler, I'm like, don't think too much. Don't think too much. Just enjoy. What's happened in Spy, G? So John Legend's wife, Chrissy Teigen, has celebrated six months of sobriety. She is from alcohol.

Don't worry, she's not on any form of... She hasn't drunk alcohol, but boy, she's been smacking back the heroin. No, no, no, no, no. She was just one of those people that she would always have wines and she kind of realised that it was affecting her mental health.

But she said she's now got endless energy, a lot less anxiety and is happier and more present than ever. But she doesn't really know kind of how long she'll do it for. It was kind of one of those things that she'll just try it out and she says she might go back to the wine but wants to be in moderation. A lot of people begin their

sobriety journey like that, don't they? Just go to, oh, just do it for a month. Do that Feb fast or whatever it is. And continue. I know David Seymour, ACT MP, in that exact same situation. Really? I think he was, we spoke to him and he was like, oh, it's Christmas functions. He's like, every night it was just too much.

And yeah, he pulled pin on New Year's Eve and hasn't gone back since. Which is awesome. Yeah, my wife did the holidays, well, you know, a couple of functions when she was driving. And she was like, watching you and your mates. You're laughing at stuff that wasn't funny. That's what we do. I'm on radio every morning

laughing at stuff that's not funny. And that concoction with the wonders of alcohol, it makes, you know. I was having a great time. You guys were laughing way too hard. Maybe you should wait in the car next time. Stop judging me. With your judging pants on.

All right, well, good on her. Yeah, and you may have seen that Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas welcomed baby via surrogate over the weekend. I haven't been keeping up with my Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas news. You haven't? No. That's awesome. There you go.

So reports are that they've had a baby girl. And it's funny because when this news came out, people looked back on the Jonas Brothers comedy roast that happened last year. And Priyanka said this, and the look on Nick's face when he didn't really know where she was going with it is priceless. If you don't know, we're the only couple who doesn't have kids yet, which is why I'm excited to make this announcement. Nick and I are expecting...

..to get drunk tonight! Am I right? But he looked so worried because I want to say it's live, but I'm not sure if it is, but I think he was like, oh, my gosh, I thought we agreed to not announce this. Yeah, right, about the surrogacy. Yeah. There you go. And this has been the rollercoaster that has spied, you know?

We go from a lovely, heartwarming story about sobriety into a story about a lady who's going to lay the hammer down. Oh, God. I didn't even think about that. Apologies. She'd be laughing at stuff that wasn't funny then. Yeah. We'll be hanging out, having a great time. And that is Spy for this morning. For more, you can head to thehits.co.nz.

Thank you very much, Producer Julia. After 7 o'clock on The Hits, the most unbelievable thing happened to me over the holidays. I don't think anyone in the world has ever had this happen to them. Jeez, you've been building this up. You have been marinating us on this story. I don't know the details of this story, but... Is it really that dramatic?

Yeah. Oh, I hope so now. It's like a movie trailer. Hope we haven't heard all the good bits. After 7 o'clock, it is The Hits. You've got Jono and Ben. The Hits't heard all the good bits. After seven o'clock it is The Hits. You got Jono and Ben. The Hits Breakfast with Jono and Ben.

Now I had the most unbelievable thing happen to me over the holidays. I'm going to say it's a world first because I've Googled it and I couldn't find

anyone else in the world that ever had this happen to. Okay. I got kicked out of a tennis tournament for not being vaccinated. No, no. That was no big joke.

No, I'm going to say it. And you're going to go, what are you going to do? You're going to ask me questions, and you're going to be like the haters we always talk about, and you're going to pull it apart. So just let me have this moment. I'm going to say what happened, and then just move on, okay? Now, all we know is that it took place on a boogie board,

which is, as an adult, you're never 100% confident on a boogie board. You feel judgment from somewhere on the beach, don't you? But it's a more achievable surfboard, the boogie board. It is, exactly. When in reality, you're just lying face down on some foam and the ocean brings you closer to the land. Now, I caught a fish on a boogie board. What?

A snapper. A decent-sized snapper on a boogie board. Yes, that is 100% the truth. With your bare hands? Yes. With your hands? Yes. Really?

I caught the snapper from boogie boarding, caught a snapper, and that's all I want to say on the matter. A number of questions. Say what? No. Step aside, Matt Watson. Not today. Step aside.

Go indoors, outdoors with Geoff. We have a new hunter-gatherer. Yeah, there you go. There's a photo of it. There you go. Whoa. It's very big on the board. It's taking up at least half of the board.

Yeah. So there you go. Field first, guys. That's all I want to say. And thanks, Sam. We'll move on. Was it just swimming there? You just grabbed it with a hand.

Yeah, I knew these questions would come up. Okay, wait. Okay, it's not quite as cool. It was dead. The fish was, but I was boogie boarding. Nice. And I was like, oh, there's something in the water. What's that?

And it was a fish. So I came back in, but geez, I look like a hero coming back to the beach, you know. Oh, kids. Apart from the fact I was boogie boarding. Ben, this was the actual ending to Finding Nemo. He found Nemo and it wasn't pretty, kids. Yeah. But I came back in with a fish.

I Googled it afterwards. No one else in the world has ever happened to. So a world first, come back with a story. A great story to come back over the break from. This is New Zealand Herald fodder, isn't it? Have you seen it up to the Herald? I haven't yet, but I mean, they'll probably put it on front page now, set beside Omicron.

The man who, well, nature did all the hard work for you. Yeah, I know. It was just lifeless Just flopping around It wasn't even flopping Well done You removed It's like picking up some seaweed

From the ocean Yeah okay Okay but Ben Boyce You thought this was a world first It is a world first You thought You were going to be New Zealand Herald fodder

Yeah I think again Because we have on the phone From the west coast 12 year old Connor Oh really And he has something He wants to share on New Zealand's breakfast. Yes, I do.

Yes, he does. Right. Yes, he does. And the West Coast, I feel like you know something. Ben, you travel to the West Coast. Do the timeline. What? Is this a what?

This is your son. No. Hey, Connor, so what happened to you? So I was surfing with my mate, and I saw seagulls going around this white thing in the water. So I surfed up to it, and it was a kawaii. So I brung it back on my board and caught a wave, but I fell off the first time. I grabbed it back on, then my mum thought it was alive,

so she got a picture of me with it, and then we buried it. So you surfed in holding a car white on a surfboard? Yeah. Which is already better than a boogie board. I was just claiming I was the first person to ever do this, but I was on a boogie board. You're right, he's really... Hold on, Was your fish also

deceased? Yeah, mine was dead, but it looks kind of free. Common theme here. Okay, yeah. Well, I thought I was the only one that... You feel... I mean, you still... Technically, you still caught a fish while boarding, right? That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Did you make news, Connor? On Facebook and Marty Banks shared it and stuff. Marty Banks? The all-black Marty Banks? Yeah. We know his dad, Dick Banks. Yeah, we do, actually. Yeah.

From the West Coast. Yeah. We did some coal shoveling with him. Yeah. Yeah, it sounds like a joke, but it's actually, every part of that story is true. It is. With Brian as well. Yeah. Yeah, it sounds like a joke, but it's actually every part of that story is true. With Brian as well. Yeah, great story.

Great story. Obviously, it's travelled back to the West Coast. The great day that Jono and Ben did some coal shoveling with Dick Banks. Yeah. You're a little legend. You have a great day. We're going to send you out something, eh? Thank you.

See you, buddy. Not so special now, are you, buddy? No. New year, new tall poppy chopper. Been shining it over the Christmas tree. Straight away, you didn't even let me have a moment where I felt like I was the only one. Found somebody else on SDT on his breakfast.

John, I'll bet on that. Scrolling through your feed. Listen, Mike Hosking is still in some exotic European country sunning his sweet tush poolside in some Giorgio Armani hot pants, which means there's only one person who can step up and do the news, and that's Tova O'Brien. But unfortunately, she's got some contract issues. She has, actually, yeah.

So 29th on the list is Ben Boyce. What's been happening, buddy? Well, as we all know, we're waking up this morning. First morning, back in red. We talked about Northland earlier in the show. They went to orange on Friday. Now they're back to red again. We kind of know the drill.

We know how red works as we wait for Omicron to make its little tour of the country. It's actually got the best weather, you know, late Jan, Feb. Best weather for summer. While the rest of us are back at work, Omicron gets to enjoy the country. And the Prime Minister has made many announcements recently over the last couple of days. But what I found listening to News Talk ZB the other day was they were talking

about the Prime Minister and they were saying that she was positive about something. But when you talk about it in the sense with COVID, it sounds a bit... Well, have a listen.

Jacinda Ardern says more people urgently need to get their booster before the Omicron outbreak begins. But the Prime Minister says she's positive. Yeah, but you've done it there. Yeah, but you've done an edit. She's positive that people will.

There's clearly more to that sentence. As soon as you say the Prime Minister's positive, you're like, what? Is this happening? You're savagely cutting her off for a cheap gag. But yeah, the wedding, of course, between Jacinda and Clark, that's been postponed. Has she

admitted that? She has. She was saying that yesterday. She was kind of like saying, oh, such is life. As for mine, my wedding will not be going ahead, but I just joined many other New Zealanders who have had an experience like that as a result of the pandemic. And to anyone who's caught up in that scenario, I'm so sorry. Now, my question is, has Jacinda called off her wedding thanks to Omicron, or has she realised she's marrying Clark Gayford?

Jonathan! He's a mate of ours. He's going to say he's your friend. He's a mate of ours. Speaking of cheap gags. Just had a go at me not but 20 seconds ago. I'm a bit upset with him. I was in a chemist and I was trying to get a rapid antigen test

and I thought, I'll tell you, I'll get my old mate on the phone. He'll sort this out for me. A bit of a news story. He didn't come through. He didn't come through. It wasn't you. But you know, I heard so many times over the holiday period, I don't know if you're the same, and you know, I don't want to stereotype, but traditionally it came from the boomer demographic.

I heard she's married. She's had her wedding. Everyone who went to the wedding had to sign contracts that they were going to talk about. The boomer rumours is something we need to do on the show because the boomer rumours were rife about the wedding. But no, according to Jacinda, the Prime Minister, it hasn't happened. She was in a lose-lose situation, wasn't she? She had to probably call it off. She knew the heat she would get if they went ahead and did walk down the aisle.

But then now everyone, I saw online a wonderful interaction with someone who's like, I heard she got married. And then someone commented back well she's just said she hasn't and she's actually postponing the wedding. Champagne Ardern, attention seeking again. Yeah, well she can't

win, eh? But under the hoods, we'll throw this out there this morning,. But 0800 the hits. We'll throw this out there this morning. 4487 on the text. Have you ever had to postpone your wedding or cancel your wedding? Have you cancelled your wedding? Well, obviously, there'll be a lot of cases over the last 24 months with lockdowns and things like that. But maybe other reasons, too.

Maybe you found something out about the person you're going to marry. Oh. Salacious. Maybe. Only example. That was pretty salacious. Maybe, only example. That was pretty salacious. That was a good one. So, oh, 100 of the Hits, give us a call this morning.

I'd love to hear from you on New Zealand's Breakfast. Have you ever had to cancel your wedding? Jono and Ben, mornings from six on the Hits and streaming live on iHeartRadio. Now, of course, we had this conversation with everyone you see today. How was your holiday? And as you said in the show, you stopped caring after you say, how was your holiday? And as you said in the show, you stop caring after you say,

how was your holiday, really? It's just, yeah, it seems like an obligation, doesn't it? That we all feel we should do it. Like when you feel like you see someone, you need to kiss them, but you end up banging cheeks. There's no kissing ever takes place, but it's just a formality, isn't it? Now, I had a moment during the holidays where I kind of went, well, maybe 2022 should be a year where this radio

show in particular and my life in general has a bit more purpose, a bit more meaning behind it. Oh, Jesus. It happened after the kids came up to me and they had some jokes from Christmas crackers. And they were like, these will be good for your radio show. You should take them to work. I was like, oh, great. And then they went,

they're not very funny, but they'll be fine for your radio show. This is like what my kids said. Oh, my gosh. Savage. Probably quite true, to be honest. But I thought, oh, great. And then they went, they're not very funny, but they'll be fine for your radio show. This is like what my kids said. Oh, my gosh. Savage. And I was like, probably quite true, to be honest. But I thought, well, maybe if this is my kids saying that. Are you saying our special brand of comedy is lower than a Christmas cracker joke, Ben? Yeah.

So I was like, well, maybe a radio show, maybe we can pivot. Maybe we can, you know, we talked about pivoting for other jobs. Maybe this year we can do more with our radio show. And we can do some good deeds. We can do some things to make us feel better. Oh, go all sort of 90s Oprah on it. Or Ellen when she wasn't bullying people. Yeah.

So we've talked about it. And during February, we're going to try and do 28 good deeds over 28 days in February. Yeah, which averages out, you know, over a 52-week period. It's a good deed of fortnight. That's pretty good. Knock them off in one fell swoop, then Ben Boyce can go back to ignoring the charity workers outside the supermarket.

You can do that guilt-free. Walk past them. Sorry, I've done all my good deeds for the year. I was just on a phone call or something like that. Yeah, so if you've got a good deed that you want us to do, then head to the hitstockcode.nz and we'll try and look at that. And I said to producer Bee Humps this morning, I was like, oh, what sort of good deeds are out there?

You know, are we going to be helping, you know, old ladies across the street? Or are we going to be, you know, returning supermarket trolleys to the supermarket? He's like, oh, there's one cleaning a septic tank. I'm like, oh, no. Do you know, do you? Nah.

Yeah, like the range of the good deeds could really go far and wide. Well, I feel like people could stitch us up here, Ben Boyce. Yeah. They could get us doing things that they don't want to do. So, yeah, now he came back. He was all revitalized after his break, Ben Boyce was, and he was like, let's see. He actually started going, let's do a good deed every day for a year.

Yeah, I did too. Then management slapped him across the face with a reality stick. They know that we fade out on stuff. We lose interest. Probably even 28 deeds in 28 days. They'll pick the shortest month of the year and try and do it one a day there. So that's what we're doing, February. So do you need us to, I guess, wash your car, wash your cat,

wash your grandmother? We'll wash anyone. No. I'll wash your grandmother. No. It's a good deed. Well, okay. Soap up a grandmother.

Okay, so head to that stock.co.nz and you can register your good deed and we could be helping you out this year, make ourselves feel a bit better about your radio show and our radio show. Hey, maybe you're just out there trying to campaign for the freedom of everyone in New Zealand not having us locked down. And you're currently in remand. And you need us to pay your bail. We will do that. That's a good deed.

Okay, there's some options there. Some we'll look at, some we won't. But here's to that. Stop going on NZ. It is Jono and Ben. Rated M for mildly amusing. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast. I'm going to front foot this and say there's been a lot of water-based content on the show this morning.

Ben Bush, you just shared a wonderful story of regaled a tale of what you did on a boogie board. Caught a fish. Caught a fish on a boogie board. Let's not drill down on the fact the fish was already lifeless and just floating on top of the water, but he caught it. He brought it back from its natural home, its environment, to the land. To the land, yeah. Hunting and gathering.

Put me on Celebrity Treasure Island if I was a celebrity. Give me a boogie board and I'll show you a meal. That's the sort of guy he is. And then I spoke earlier too about a vicious attack of sea lice on my white thighs. Yeah. Which happened. The water was so warm, but there was so of sea lice on my white thighs. Yeah. Which happened. The water was so warm, but there was so much sea lice, and you were like this inner turmoil of like,

well, I want to go in because the water's so warm. So my thighs sacrificed themselves so the rest of my body could enjoy that temperate water. But, you know, what I have noticed, though, and what they don't tell you when you become a parent, and I would like to warn all pending parents about this too, is that you can kiss goodbye to any form of relaxation when it comes to swimming. As a parent. I remember a time where I could just sit there, saunter into the water, have a wallow for 10 minutes, go back out, catch some more skin cancer,

and, you know, rinse and repeat, do that all day. Right. Now, I'm in a pool, I'm in a beach, constantly on high alert. Someone's trying to drown me, wrestle me, throw me, tackle me, chuck a ball in my face. There's nothing, you know. It's an active activity now.

Two-hour CrossFit class in the pool. Parents kind of become like a jungle gym for some reason in the pool. You've got a whole pool to play in, but all of a sudden I need to be involved in this. And you're like, they tried to close off the exit to the pool the other day, so I couldn't leave. Now this is, you know, my skin is already rotting off. I've been there for three hours.

Been competing in underwater UFC for three hours. I'm like, maybe I'll have a breather. And I wasn't even allowed to leave. Kids, if they had the chance, they'd spend a week in a pool. Oh, that's the thing. It's like they've got no temperature gauge. Maybe they just fight through it, you know. But, you know, as an adult, you're like, oh, yeah, it's okay once you're in.

It's a bit refreshing. Not just the things you say, but you're in, you're out you're like, oh, yeah, it's okay once you're in. It's a bit refreshing. It's not just the things you say, but you're in, you're out. That's so true. Kids will be in there. Kids are just in there in the middle of winter sometimes. I know. I said I'm ever at a beach in the middle of winter. Oh, they're relentless.

And then trying to get them out of the beach or out of a pool, it becomes like a negotiation with terrorists. They are not wanting to leave. Yeah. And they never just come out in one convenient Mob Oh look Poppy's already out You should get out now

Everyone's got their towels on But I don't want to get out The thing I find too if you've got to go Around at a friends pool You've got to talk to your kids You try and time it between them popping up from underwater You're like And they know.

They know. They definitely can hear you. More time I'm underwater. That's how they're up. We've got to go. Oh, you're like, sorry. It's like well-played kids.

Well-played kids. And as soon as they leave the water, they're just like, when can we go back in the water? Just chill out on the water. The water's always going to be there. Thanks to climate change, there might be more of it. It's getting warmer,

I think. Yeah. Hey, we've got $5,000 up for grabs. The game we play, Five Words 5K. You could be winning very shortly. What a great way to start 2022 with 5K. It is the hits. You're only five words away from a massive payday.

It's back for the new year. It had a bit of a breather, the soundproof booth, over the new year period, and it took a little vacation to the corner of the studio where it always lives. But at least it didn't have to listen to our mindless babble every morning, Ben. This is five words for $5,000, a game we started playing last year. And we love it so much we want to play it again in 2022.

Your chance to win $5,000 if you match all five words with our five words. It's a simple game of word association. We're going to head to Pukakohe this morning. Michelle, you're on. Morena, how are you? Good, thank you. Currently sifting in your car in the work car park like a pervert.

Oh, jeez. Or she's just waiting in her car. Like, what did you have to... Sorry, man. I thought he'd start a lot better. Remember I was on my laptop last year sitting in the car and people judge. People judge you when you're just sifting in a car. How was your break, Michelle? It was good. It was good. Did you get away?

No, not really. No, just homebody. Oh, good on you, Michelle. Sometimes those are the best holidays when everyone kind of goes away and you kind of just hang out and yeah, it's good. That's what people who say when they haven't had a holiday. I just stayed there. Sometimes those are the best ones. It's a great place when everyone leaves.

It's great. Michelle, 5k would be a great way to start 2022. Who do you want to send into the soundproof booth this morning, matey? Jono, please. Let's try and match five words. Send them away too after that work car park comment. Alright, Michelle, you know how the game words are going to say some words,

and you'll tell me what pops into your head when I say those words, all right? Yep, it is. First word this morning is woof. W-O-O-F. Woof. Dog. Dog, yeah. Exactly what I was thinking, too.

Minimum is the second word this morning. Minimum. Wage. Minimum wage. Michelle, this morning. Minimum. Wage. Minimum wage. Michelle, I think we've matched two from two, you and I, just in my head as well. Plate is word number three. P-L-A-T-E. Plate. Food. Food. Playing a good game, a good quick game,

Michelle. Win. W-I-N is the fourth word. Money. Win money. Hopefully you'll be doing that if you match all five words. And planet is the final word. P-L-A-N-E-T, planet. Earth. Planet, earth.

Very confident answers. I like it. Michelle was good. You were confident. You had some good, good answers. We're going to get Jono out. It didn't feel like long enough to be without him. Felt like we could have gone longer.

But anyway, he's back. And Michelle played a really, really good game. Quick be without him. Felt like we could have gone longer. But anyway, he's back. And Michelle played a really, really good game. Quick game. Yeah. Felt quick. She's like, I can't be sifting in this car for much longer. Colleagues are starting to judge. People look at me.

All right, here we go, John. I just need a good match. All five words win Michelle $5,000 this morning. First word we said to Michelle was woof. Woof. Woof. Warrant of outstanding. Is that what you want to

lock in? W-O-O-F. Is that what you want to lock in? Because I'm not going to like, there's no joke answers in this game. Have a laugh mate.

I'm just thinking of management. They're going to be like what is, he said warrant of fitness. But then he said something else. I'm going to go dog.

Well done. Well done. Well done, Michelle. All right. Minimum. Minimum. Minimum. Would you go wage? Two from two.

Michelle, talk to us. Oh, it's still too early yet. Yeah. Yeah, don't get too confident yet. All right. Plate is word number three. Plate. What pops into your head?

Dinner. Dinner plate? What did you say? No. Food. Food. Yeah. That's an obvious answer.

Plate was a... You could have had about a dozen for plate, couldn't you? What were the last two there, Benny boy? Win was word number four. Win prize. And finally, planet. Planet Earth. Oh, three from five.

Not bad, Michelle, but unfortunately not quite good enough for you to win $5,000. Oh, that's okay. Thank you. All right, you go and have a wonderful day, and thank you for listening, okay? All right, thank you. Good on you. We'll get Julie in with some spy next. What's going on, Ju?

What do you reckon the first YouTube video to hit 10 billion views is? Is it a Bieber video? No. Is it Charlie getting his finger bitten? No. We'll talk about it next. Is it Ben Boyce pointing at products? No. Definitely not that one. We'll find out

in just a few moments on the hits. Spy, the WhatsApp by doco.mp3. Fresh back from doing God knows what at God knows which festival. We've given her a good old hosing off. It's Juliet with Spy. Thank you.

So Adele was meant to be doing a Las Vegas residency, but you may have seen news that she had to cancel slash postpone it. That was mainly because a big chunk of her team was sick from COVID. So they couldn't interact with everyone else and organise the shows. And there were also COVID delays that made it really hard for them to pull off the show in time. She announced the postponement one day before the first show was to go ahead. So a lot of fans would have already been in Vegas for the show when they found this out. Oh, they'll be

furious. Just take it easy on her. Don't go too hard. You don't want to lash out at Adele. I watched the little video she put on Instagram. You felt really sorry for her. She said she'd been awake for like 30 hours trying to figure out how they could do it because they had delays with shipments, obviously because COVID and all that sort of stuff. But yeah, you just felt

for her. Just the world we live in. And you do feel for her because I think she was meant to earn $700,000 a night. Oh, yeah. It was something like that, wasn't it? $700,000. I think she's going to bank $150 million from her Las Vegas residency.

That is crazy. I got my son to look at it. I heard someone say it on the rail in the hits, actually, last week. And Oscar, I was driving, I was like, Oscar, double fact check this for me. Handed him my phone. He's like, mate, 700 Gs a night.

Wow. So no wonder she's been up for 30 hours trying to make it work. We need to make this work, guys. I'm putting a poll in. But she ended up, because a bunch of fans were already in Vegas, that she ended up surprising a bunch of them with FaceTime calls. So they were still invited to go to Caesars Palace where the shows were going to be,

and there was kind of like an Adele store, merch, wine, everything. And some of the security team pulled people aside and was like, here, look at... It was literally Adele on FaceTime. So that kind of made up for the fact that they couldn't go see her concert. So she did that, which was lovely.

Sorry, I'm really fixated on this income. The cost? It's actually a million New Zealand dollars. So that did that, which was lovely. Sorry, I'm really fixated on this income. The cost? It's actually a million New Zealand dollars. So that was 700,000 pounds. Oh, wow. A million New Zealand dollars each show. She would have been despo to get that across the line. Well done.

Good on her. I know. And a very famous song has become the first video on YouTube to hit 10 billion views. And what was your suggestion before? It was something from Bieber. Oh, yeah. It's close.

Despacito's pretty big from Bieber. I think one of those bit of songs. Was it Gangnam Style? Sorry. No. Really? Yeah. Despacito was number two.

So you're close with Bieber, yeah. 10 billion. Yeah. Crazy. The girl from the Baby Shark video, she lives in... Masterton. Masterton. Yeah. The girl from the Baby Shark video, she lives in... Masterton. Masterton. Yeah.

Really? Masterton. So she's in the video, but she's not the singer? No, but they had two kids in the video. And she was one of the cast members. They claimed the fame in New Zealand. And if this song isn't yet stuck in your head,

you're going to have it stuck in your head the whole of Monday. It's a hell of a jam though, isn't it, Baby Shark? Do they play these at festivals and things with the dance moves? They should do a remix of it. People would love it. They would love it.

That would be good. I know that Zed the DJ did a remix of the Squid Game song at a festival, and that kind of went off. But yeah, I reckon that would do quite well as a remix. Maybe that's a little goal for 2020. We should try and get the Baby Shark girl on. Yeah, I was just thinking that. She's in New Zealand.

Yeah, track her down. It's a bit weird hunting down a... Yeah, well, yeah. We'll get someone. Yeah. Juliet, can you... I won't visit you.

Would you be? No. And that is Spy for the South. More you can head to thehits.co.nz. Of course it is 2022 and we want

your help to make 22 predictions for 2022 that we're going to write down and we're your help to make 22 predictions for 2022 that we're going to write down, and we're going to see throughout the year if we can get as many of these correct as possible. We need your help. After 8 o'clock, it is The Hits. You've got Jono and Ben.

Warning, this show contains traces of Jono and Ben. The Hits with Jono and Ben for breakfast. We decided that we wanted to make, with your help, 22 predictions for the year that is 2022. We're going to write them down. We're going to put them up on social media this week. And then we'll see how many predictions across the year we'll get correct. Yeah, it's interesting when you speak to a psychic, because we do have a show psychic, Kimberly, from The Channeling.

And she, you know, it's a win-win being a psychic, isn't it? Because you can just chuck all sorts of stuff at the wall. If they come true, then you're an absolute legend legend but people forget about the stuff that you didn't know oh yeah all what changed didn't come back to me when it changed yeah so we spoke to kimberly just to get her thoughts on what's going to happen this year will there be another lockdown in 2022 yes there will be i think there's going to be two lockdowns hang up up on Kimberley. We don't want to hear about him. When are they going to happen? I'm getting around April and also August, September.

I have, just on another note, I feel like Jacinda might step down as well. In 2022 she'll step down? I think it's 2022. Will there be a new royal baby? Yes, there will. Either Beatrice or Eugene. Oh, the boring ones.

Will Chris Warner leave Shortland Street in 2022? No. Will Chris Warner leave Shortland Street in 2032? No. He's there forever. Forever. Will the hits ever get rid of us? No.

But I have to say that, don't I? You do. She's like, how long is your contract for I like it when Kimberly cracks a joke as a psychic Because then it makes her a comedian Oh wow Go home Can we also start a list of 2022 The lamest jokes John has done

Can we start a list of I've got nothing to come back to Well let's put some of those on our list. I reckon two lockdowns, dare I say it. Let's put that on there. Jacinda Ardern maybe not running in the next election. Maybe she might announce that this year. Yep.

I reckon, can I chuck one out there? Like the Friends reunion. They're going to do the Cosby Show reunion. Oh, my gosh. Can you put that on the list? No, not on the list. Who made him the gatekeeper of the list? Because I've got the list here in front of me.

Can I make a prediction? Yeah. I want to predict, I've just thought of this so we can deliberate after, that Adele and Rich Paul might get engaged. Okay, Adele, Rich Paul. What about a wedding between Taika and Rita? True.

Or engagement. Or engagement. Okay, Adele, Rich Paul. Can I make another prediction? No, you're out of Or engagement. Or engagement. Yeah, okay. Okay. Can I make another prediction? No, you're out of the brainstorm. We don't trust you. You're out of the brainstorm. Why am I banned from making predictions?

Let's go easy ones. Briscoes have a sale. Let's put that on there. Let's get a win. I've got another prediction. Don't want to hear it. Okay. Here's one you can debate with.

I'm going to give you parameters. Okay. Until you win my trust back. I've lost it. So Sexiest Man Alive happens every year. Yeah. Okay. Now, Paul Rudd won last year.

Now, people that haven't won it before, I was reading before, Jason Momoa, Keanu Reeves, Jason Sudeikis, or Harry Styles. Which one of those, if they were going to be, or someone else. Can I put a vote in for Joe Biden? Sexiest Man Alive. Hopefully he's still with us by the end of the year. That's a good prediction. We don't think Joe Biden

is going to make it. Make it to his son's birthday party in July. He's got a very busy schedule. Okay, so that's right out there. I went under the hood, so you help us out there because Jono's no help at all. Will he land a rocket on Mars? How many gold medals will he win at the Commonwealth Games

or the Winter Olympics? Will the Queen have a sex scandal? Oh, jeez. Give us Pete Davidson. Who else will he date in 2022? Okay, let's chuck him out there. You can text 24487. Our 22 predictions for 2022.

0800, that's the telephone number. Get in touch with us. The Hits. Breakfast with Jono and Ben. First day back for 2022. 0800, that's the telephone number. Get in touch with us. The Hits. Breakfast with Jono and Ben. First day back for 2022, and we wanted to compile, with your help, a list this week of 22 predictions for the year 2022. We'll put it up on social media, and we'll see how many we'll get correct. Yeah, now I've been banned from offering up any more predictions.

I checked one out there, and it was deemed too controversial. Okay, let's go. Well, you can help me with some of mine the Warriors is it our year as a Warriors fan to win the NRL

what answer do you want I want yes can I put let's say the Warriors will play some rugby league to an adequate level some weeks what about make the finals

but not you know not win the even that you're like look at me like. You're talking yourself out of it. I'm just looking at you. Well, yeah, the way you look at your game, he was like.

Okay, can I chuck one out there? Okay. Ben Boyce will make it to December without offending anyone nor sharing any hard-hitting opinion for fear of upsetting any potential listeners. Professional fence sitter. Can I chuck that on the list? Yeah, okay.

Juliet, have you got some? Predictions? Yeah, you were reading out some during the song, which were quite good. Yeah, will house prices go down? Ooh, house prices drop. Will Crocs come back in fashion? And the only reason I say this

is because my flatmate voluntarily went and bought Crocs yesterday and she's quite fashionable usually. They seem like they kind of are. Doesn't Justin Bieber got a line of Crocs? Yeah, he does actually. Yeah, but I've reached that age where, you know, the ironic fashion of the 90s, I wear it and I just look sad. I look like a dad in Crocs.

Yeah. You know, you wear them, Juliet. You'd look trendy in Crocs. True. That's the thing. We see the irony with you. Get Kerry on from Tauranga, shall we? You want to chuck one of our 22 predictions for 2022, Kerry?

What's it going to be? I think we're going to have some sort of royal family rebuild. Maybe Harry and Meghan Markle will, you know, build a bridge, get over it, and maybe go back to the UK. Oh, you're picking a return back home. Harry and Meghan. A loop back around, making amends. Yeah, yeah.

The Queen's getting a bit older. She might be getting a bit lonely. Megan, a loop back around, making amends. Yeah, yeah. The Queen's getting a bit older. She might be getting a bit lonely. So hopefully, you know, we'll get some sort of reconnection. Well, Andrew's there to look after her. She's got lots of family around. See, this is why you're banned from the brainstorm, all right? We're just getting you back out, and now we'll push you back out again.

Hey, good on you, Kiri. Thank you for listening, and you have a great day day and a great year. That's a good one. We'll put that on the list as well. Text coming through. Jane Campion to win an Oscar for Best Director because she's got that movie with Benedict Cumberbatch. She's the Kiwi one, eh? She won a Golden Globe, didn't she? So there might be something that happens.

50 medals someone's predicting at the Commonwealth Games for New Zealand. Are you pulled out of gold? Yeah, not gold. That's the confidence that he has in New Zealand. Well, 50 gold's a bit, mate, but 50 medals in total, that's good. Okay, can I make a prediction? I'm predicting some cold weather around July, August, September.

Can you chuck that on the list? That is an easy one. Can we go back on holiday as well? I'll get Nicky on from Palmy. Welcome, Nicky. How are you? Hey, good, thank you. All right, what's your prediction for one of our 22 predictions for 2022?

I think the Queen might die this year. And I'm predicting around August. Oh, she's even got a month. Oh, don't. Can we just say she might step down? Can we put that in the night? She won't. She won't step down.

She won't. She's going to die. She's clearly said it. I'm going to say it. I'm going to say it. Well, she won't be in a... Apparently Ben won't. She won't sit down. She won't. She's going to die. She's clearly said it. I'm going to say it. I'm going to say it. Well, she won't be in a... Apparently Ben's made himself the master of the list. So whatever you want to say, he transforms...

I'll change it a little bit to suit. That's sad. Well, I do know that the TV networks have already done montages. Have they? And you know when there's a montage of your life. You wouldn't want to find out, oh, you've made a montage, have you? Oh. So, yeah.

That's sad if that's the case. That has to happen, obviously. And hopefully it won a montage, have you? So, yeah. That's sad if that's the case. It has to happen, obviously. You know, hopefully it won't happen, but yeah. Poor sweet thing. Anyway, Nicky, thanks for bringing the vibes down, mate. No worries. Yeah, love it, love it. Great stuff for a Monday.

Coming up very shortly, there's a news out of Martin. A husband for sale. This is happening in New Zealand. We'll find out more in just a few moments. It is the hits. Big news! Small town! Town, town, town! This is some big news

coming out of Martin this morning. This is news that we saw towards the end of last week. A very, very funny story out of Martin. There's a husband for sale. There's a husband for sale? On Trade Me. Now, I don't know if the auction is still up, but we want to find out a bit more about it

and we're going to talk to Linda, who joins us right now on New Zealand's Breakfast. Good morning, Linda. Hi, how's it going? Good to have you on. Linda, are you responsible

for this human trafficking? Are you? I'm responsible. So you put your husband up for sale? I did. Getting to the end of the summer holidays

and the kids are at home quite a bit and he was just off out fishing with no notice. So he went fishing, left you at home? Yeah. Fishing feels like an activity that you'd give notice.

Yeah. Is it on a boat? Yes, on a boat. And he went out for what? How long? Oh, the day. An entire day, no notice given. What gave you the idea to put him on Trade Me for Sale?

We were just talking about it the afternoon before, just about how I'd swap him. How you'd swap him, and how much did he fetch? He only spent just $100 in the end. He was quite good at it. He was taken down. $100? That's not a good indication for husbands.

Is that the market rate for a husband? Yeah, he only started to get going. We're like petrol vehicles. We're becoming obsolete. Yeah. $100 for a husband? Yeah, but you didn't give him a glowing review though, right? The trade me description.

You were saying, you know, he's had previous owners, you know, but he's kind of like he may be prone to go off fishing, that sort of thing. It was quite a funny description. Yeah. Now it's the perfect storm, this story of comedy in a slow news period. So I know I can see why this story got some traction. Is your husband coping with his fame? Yeah, he's quite enjoying it, actually.

And they recognised him at the sale yards on Friday. At the sale yards? Oh, you're the $100 husband. It's like the oxen got taken down. I'm worth more than that. But he has retaliated, apparently, right? He has retaliated, yes. Okay, let's get him on.

What's his name, sorry? His name is John. We're going to go through to John and see how he has retaliated. You guys got a wonderful response for you selling your husband online. Ben, when you did it with the lady, it got a bit of media frown upon it. It's not true. Hey, John, good morning. It's John O'Bien calling from the Hats.

How you going? A hundred bucks. Apparently, John O's got a hundred bucks. Can he buy you? Oh, I was hoping for a bit more, but... Now, the $100 husband, we understand there's been some retaliation. You'd like to share what that is?

Yeah, just a bit of a sign on the side of the road on some fire. Carol's a cheeky wife, free to good home. Yeah, just a bit of a sign on the side of the road on some silage bales there. Cheeky wife, free to good home. Oh, so you're selling her? Free. No, free. Oh, cheeky wife. So you put this on some silage bales

that's on the side of the road at Martin. Yeah, spray painted that on. We've seen the picture of it. And so have you had any offers for this? No, not quite. There we go. The wonderful couple who are trying to sell each other off. I love it.

A great story. You two are Kiwi heroes. Thank you very much, Linda. Thank you, John. Well done. Bye-bye. The world needs fun fodder like that. Yeah, don't they keep a relationship spicy, don't they?

You know, always, you know. Maybe that's what we need in our relationship. You've been trying to sell me off for a while for a bit of version. Don't think I ever noticed you in those meetings with management. I'm like, can I get born? One Jono for born? And it's a hit, so you got Jono and Ben.

Yeah, yeah, nah. Yeah, nah. The home of yeah, nah. She'll be right, and at the end of the day, Jono and Ben. Breakfast on the hits. It is a new year, and I was trying to, you know, for a while there, I was like,

new year, new me this year. But I ended up embarrassing myself over the holiday break in the store and walking out sort of with my head,

you know, just down. How was your head? Hung low? Hung low. It wasn't, you always want to walk out of a store with your head

held high. That's always my theory when you go shopping. You never want to walk out ashamed. But it happened to me once in glasses. I can't talk about it thanks to an ongoing court case. Yeah, well, I thought this year, one of

the things I wanted to do this year is be a bit more practical. I'm not a practical person. We talk many times on this show. If something goes wrong at home or if anything is fixing or anything happened, I just call. I call someone. Or your wife Amanda tends to do it, doesn't she? She's the handy person of the household, the boys' household. Yeah.

So if someone comes around, I'm great with a little bit of a chat. I'm good with a chat. I'm good with making a drink, cup of tea. Pretending like you know what they're talking about. You want a juice, have a little chat. Good for morale. Yeah, like the 10 minutes that that plumber spends with Ben, he's like, oh, he's a well-rounded, really nice guy.

Yeah, and I'll leave it to it, mate. Let me know if you need anything. He fed me, he refreshed me, and he talked a little too much, but anyway. Yeah, so this year I was like, maybe I could be a bit more practical. And I thought I'd start, you know, not with a problem, not with like, you know,

trying to fix something electrical or anything like that. I thought, let's just start slow. Maybe I'll fix the cow in the backyard. Now I've got a fiberglass cow that lives, life-size fiberglass cow that lives in the backyard. You guys have seen it. And it's, look. Lives on fake astroturf grass,

the natural environment of a fiberglass cow. A fake cow on fake grass. Yeah. And it's, you know, it's been around sort of 15, 20 years. We used it for an old TV show a while ago. And so now I'm like, well, let's fix this cow. Every summer I'm like, I'm going to fix the cow. And I'm like, this is the summer I fix the cow.

This is New Year. I'm going to be practical. This is as close to dairy farming as Ben will get. It's a fiberglass cow. And that's something that no one can really judge me on, I thought, because it's a fiberglass cow. What's wrong with it? Did it need a paint job?

Yeah, it's all kind of cracked. And it needs the paint sort of cracking. So you put some filler in it, get some fiberglass, sort of smooth it over. I talked to a mate who's a builder, and I said, I don't want you to come around and help me. I just want you to tell me what I need to get from the hardware store. And he was like, exactly what you said, some filler.

He said you can get some citrus paint stripper if you want. I was like, ooh, citrus sounds like. Did you go into a hardware store? Oh, Ben Boyce. Ben Boyce in a hardware store is like me inside a hairdresser. Or probably more appropriately, inside a hair salon. Yeah, well, true. Yeah, that's a better way

to say it. The building. Yeah, so anyway, I went inside a hardware store and I was trying to act confident. Someone came up to me and said, would you like some help?

No, no, I'm all good. I'm all good. I've got my list. I know what to do. And I found everything on the list but one thing. It's important to keep up appearances in that environment, isn't thought i'll go up and ask where it is i couldn't find the citrus paint stripper anywhere so i thought i'd go up to the counter and there was a couple people on the counter and i was like confident being confident

confident you're a practical person you can do this you can look like don't embarrass yourself in front of these people they you don't want to see they don't want to see cracks there you know like that like in the cow they don't want to see cracks, you know, like in the cow. They don't want to see cracks. Cracks appearing. They jump on that and they see vulnerability. So I went up and I asked, well, I went to ask for the citrus paint stripper, but I left out paint and citrus from my question.

So I was just, hey, mate. Vital words too. Do you have any strippers? And as soon as I said that. He's shown his weakness. You can tell That he knew that And I was like oh this has come out wrong And then I tried to overcompensate

And then you're just like oh And they started laughing They started explaining where it was And I was just like I'm going to have to leave this door His weak spot's always been the stripper We've set it behind his back at work It's always his downfall So does the cow get fixed? No We've set it behind his back at work. It's always his downfall. No.

So does the cow get fixed? No. No. It hasn't been fixed so far at all. So, yeah. Because I just walked out of the store at the time. I was like, oh. So next time.

Next time. I'll come back. Next summer, mate. There's a whole new summer away. Bigger and stronger. 2023 is my year, guys. You know that hardware stores your kryptonite. One day you'll look confident inside there.

There's a hat-seeing-on shot I'll be in. Two dads just trying to fill some airtime. Before that hardware stores your kryptonite. One day you'll look confident inside there. It is a hatsy guy, Jono and Ben. Two dads just trying to fill some airtime. Some may say it's pointless, but the main thing is it fills in some airtime for us. That is the main thing. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hats. New Zealand's breakfast, Jono and Ben. We're back for 2022. Having the same conversation with everyone you see.

How was your holidays? And you don't care? You can pretty much check out once you say, how was your holidays? Did you get up tonight? No, you can pretty much check out once you say how was your holidays. Did you get up tonight? As soon as someone starts talking, I shut down. You're like, why did I ask that? But you're right.

I had a moment over the weekend because I was like, you know, hanging out with the family. It was a long time. I was like, this is cool. You know, I haven't got sick of this. I could do this all day. And then I realised I was the one the family was sick of.

Oh, really? Yeah, because I had the radio going. Yesterday I was listening to hits, doing some work, came back into the lounge. I was like, oh, who turned the radio off, really? Yeah, because I had the radio going yesterday, listening to the hits, doing some work, came back into the lounge. I was like, oh, who turned the radio off? And Andy, my daughter, who's 10, was like, I did, for some peace and quiet.

I was like, oh, I'm that person. I have broken my family. You've somehow come back looking skinnier. Did you survive off like a single tub of hummus? What did you do? Doesn't he, Julia? Yes. He's lost weight over the period.

I put on 15 kgs and chips. Chips and dip. That's your staple. But as you mentioned before, yeah, a bit of an attack. Oh, it was a, yeah, a cruel attack. In the ocean, I don't know if anyone listening also encountered this, but there was a high population of sea lice. Now, sea lice, they are unforgiving, aren't they? And what they do, I've done a lot high population of sea lice. Now, sea lice, they

are unforgiving, aren't they? And what they do, I've done a lot of research into sea lice, they're not actually lice. They're the larvae of the jellyfish. Oh, really? And so when the larvae get trapped under either a wetsuit or togs or something, or in my case, a dad rash vest.

Oh my God. No, no, I didn't have a rash vest. Oh, thank God. I didn't have a rash vest. But there's nothing wrong with a dad rash vest. Oh, my God. No, no, I did never rash vest. Oh, dear, thank God. I did never rash vest. But there's nothing wrong with a dad rash vest. No, no, sorry. What's wrong with a rash shirt? I shouldn't judge. No, absolutely nothing. Oh, except for fashion.

Sunsmart. But it's good sunsmart. I wear a rash shirt with abs painted on them. Oh, no. That's how cool I am on the beach. No. So when they get trapped under togs and they feel the pressure, they release the sting.

And then that is what outbreak was the outbreak. And, gee whiz, they got trapped under my togs, and they were working hard, these sea lions. Imagine being trapped under these milky white thighs. They want to be like, dear God, we've taken a wrong turn here. So you got quite a lot of bites. So many bites. It was like my thighs and my sweet cheeks bed were like a farmer's red dot sale.

They were everywhere. And they got in, like, I don't know how they got in, but then, jeez, I felt sorry for that one. They couldn't get out. It was like MIQ, though, a trap for 10 days. I haven't had that much action in my pants for a very long time. Okay, let's wrap them up. Very long time, Julia. Let's wrap them up.

Next, we're going to tell you what we time, Julia. Let's wrap him up. Next, we're going to tell you what we're doing in February. Could help you out. We're doing it 28 times and we'll share with you shortly. You're essential listening for non-essential banter. I thought I was saying something meaningful there and then I backed out. Jono and Ben, New Zealand breakfast. You're on the hits.

Jono and Ben, we're back for 2022 and we made a New Year's resolution The two of us to try and be better people That's right, to undo all the horrible things we've done in the past We're going to do 28 deeds in 28 days Ben Boyce, you were inspired by this, didn't you? Make the radio, you become a better person Make the radio show a better thing It always feels good when we do use the radio for good And help people out and people appreciate it

I always thought it was just used for pure evil so mike hosking taught me so if you've got something you want us to do uh we can do a month of good deeds as john i said before then go to the hitstock.nz and you can register right now anything we'll mow your lawns we could wash your windows you might want anything at all that you want us to do you think we're capable of doing then we'll try and do it now what just what justifies a deed, a good deed? Give me an example. I just did. I know you love to wash your windows.

But your other examples, something that would help someone out. Oh, you didn't need to do that. You did a good job of exampling, actually. You didn't need to do that, but yeah, you came and helped me out, I guess. You went out of your way to help someone out, I guess, would be my description of a deed, but I haven't. I mean, you did a bang up job. Yeah, no, no, you did well.

You did well. Let's get Lana on from Onehanga. Welcome, Lana. How are you? I'm good, thank you. How are you? Oh, good. You want us to do a deed?

Yes, please. What have you got for us? The lawns. My husband's shoulder, he's just had an operation on his shoulder, and he can't do it, and the lawns are getting a little bit high. Well, Joanna, you've always said that you love mowing lawns, but you just went, no. Well, I like mowing my lawn, other people's lawns. No, I do love mowing a lawn, and this is perfect. We can do that for you, Lana. How big is it? Not that big, just a small section. Perfect. But it sounds like it's quite big. Just a small section. Perfect.

But it sounds like it's quite high, though, the grass. How long? When was the last time it was mowed? Yeah, a couple of months. A couple of months. Oh, gee whiz. Yeah. It's a little dog that sort of gets lost in the lawn.

The dog gets lost in the lawn. Right, so this is what we're dealing with. Try to find the dog. It might be two deeds. Find the dog. So you have the lawn of a tinny house, basically. Yeah. All right, Lana. I reckon we're dealing with. Try and find the dog. It might be two deeds. Find the dog. So you have the lawn of a tinny house, basically. Yeah. All right, Lana.

I reckon we can do this. We can mow Lana's outrageous forest of a lawn. Sounds brilliant. Just make sure you bring the dog inside before we start. Yeah, that would be good. All right, Lana, we'll see you. If you've got a good deed for us, head to thehits.co.nz.

Jono and Ben. Jono and Ben. Breakfast on the Hits. For more podcasts from the Hits Network, check out iHeartRadio.co.nz. to NZ, Jono and Ben.