Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: If You Love Quotes, You Won't Like This

Episode Date: December 2, 2021

Quotes give us wonderful nuggets of wisdom throughout our life. But I bet you haven't thought about the fact that there are quotes that cancel other quotes out. You'll get what we mean soon... We also learnt today that Ben's nervousness has reached new heights, and we also caught up with Jeff Kinney, author of the very successful "Diary Of A Wimpy Kid" books!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, brought to you by Resene, New Zealand's most trusted paint. Kiwi made since 1946. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast, 3rd of December. Tell you what, two weeks to go for the old J&B show. It's like your advent calendar to Christmas, isn't it? Yeah. You're on the count, you've got 14 days to go. It's like...

Every day I open, it's just another show. My kids are like, you know, counting down to Christmas, you're counting down to the end of the show, finishing. Had a very bad faux pas as an adult parent. You never want to be a child parent, do you? As an adult parent, yesterday I went to... I was like, oh, I don't have Advent calendars for the kids. Right. So I went to the warehouse, all gone.

Can't find an Advent calendar for love or money. Really? And I offered both. I said, my body, I'm offering my body for an Advent calendar. And they're like, no, thank you. Oh, they wouldn't give you that? Can you please put your clothes on in the warehouse, sir? Oh, so they're all gone.

All gone, mate. Did you get your Advent calendars early? Yeah, we did get them. Yeah, we did. We got one each for the kids and stuff. But yeah. But when you think about it, I was going shopping for one on the 2nd. The thing starts on the 1st.

Oh, true. I could tell they were like, well, mate, you should come a week earlier. You would have got an Advent calendar. So it's on me. It's not their fault that they've sold out of Advent calendars. Yeah, that's true. They're popular, aren't they? You said something about the podcast before. before you were like oh we need to

read out the stats someone sent through oh yeah someone sent through a message uh on the text machine uh and it's here we are i'll read it out to you uh hi guys i just wanted to say that uh uh what should we call them let's call them them. Okay. Yeah, we'll call them. They can read out their own texts. Quite interesting. The amount of minutes that this person has listened to the podcast over 2021 is astounding. Probably listened to more minutes of us than we've listened to us. Really?

Yeah. I'm surprised we've created that many minutes of whatever we do. Ha ha. What do you have a message, mate. Oh, no, it's gone. Anyway, so here's the text. It said, hi, guys. I just wanted to say this is my most listened to podcast.

I listened for a total this year of 13,500 minutes. Wow. 13,500. Thank you very much for doing that. 13,500 minutes. Wow. 13.5 thousand. Thank you very much for doing that. 13.5 thousand minutes. Yeah. I mean, they haven't even listened to 13.5. Sometimes I'm talking, I'm not even listening to myself.

That's because a lot of people at the moment putting on social media with Spotify, you get your, you know, basically what, your top things you've listened to throughout the year. Oh, is that what it's from? It's everyone's, Spotify Raps, they call it. So they basically wrap up your year with your top songs or your top podcasts or your top amount of times you've listened. Have you got Spotify?

No, I don't. I'm Apple Music. Just because I've got a phone that works out a lot better with that. Does old Wozniacki, does he bloody do that for us? No, he doesn't. No, I haven't seen that with Apple Music. Right, so we can't contribute.

We don't get to join in. Can't contribute. I know Juliet, producer Juliet, she was boasting the other day that she was in

the.05 top percent, .05,.05,.05 top percent of people in the entire universe who have listened to Justin Bieber's album the most amount of times.

That's crazy. It's Juliet. Come on here, producer Juliet. Tell us, how many times have you listened to the new Justin Bieber album? I know you're in the top 0.5% of listeners throughout the world. Let me try and find this on the app.

I wonder if it gives me actual stats. It's really interesting to know the habits of people. It obviously helps when an artist releases a new album too, doesn't it? And like us being artists, Ben, we release a new piece of work every day.

Prolific artists. Juliet's just looking through Spotify here'm doing you know what though i saw a story from someone else they were in the top zero so sorry they're on the top 0.0001 percent of little nas x listener that seems like an achievable goal though doesn't it i mean I could commit to listening to a little Nas X for... Like Bieber impresses me.

No, you couldn't. No, you couldn't. No, you couldn't. I was going to say, go on, but you wouldn't. You're right. There's no way you could commit to that. Should we hold eyebrows? Should we bloody hold you up on that?

Because it commits Jono to one day of doing it. Otherwise, we're like, we could do this over the thing. He's like, oh, yeah, no, I lost interest in that. I moved on. Yeah, no, you're right. You're right.

You're dead right. So I'm like, we've got to stay here until it's done instead of chipping away and trying to do something. So I can find, I can't. So the Bieber thing's impressive, though,

is what my point was. It's because there's so many fans. Correct. Yeah, yeah. Lil Nas X probably doesn't have as many fans, so it's probably easier to get to that. It doesn't say how many times I've listened to the album, but it says how many minutes streamed.

Okay, what are we talking here? 4,712 minutes, which I don't know what that would that's just the album over and over on a page that is I literally every time I'd go in my car

I'd just shuffle the album and I just like literally know every song it's just so fun and that's what gets you in the top 0.5% of the world I was hoping he'd share my story but he didn't

so that's cool well there's people who have listened to it more than you so you've yeah I'm not actually that impressive in his eyes

anyway well the podcast rolls on. We'll see if we can get a few more hits on this sucker. Have a great weekend. We'll catch you Monday. The clubs and bars that are open up around the country today. It's exciting that things are starting to get back to a little bit of normality. If you ignore the case numbers.

Just pretend they do. But, you know, and to his credit, Trump had this theory. Just ignore the case numbers and plow on through. Well, that's what he said. We called him a madman at the time. He was like, if we test less, we'll get there. We'll feel like there's less out there. Yeah, and now I think the government and Jacinda Ardern is probably going,

should we just test less? Yeah. Now they're sort of not really announcing the daily case numbers, aren't they? But it's cool. Gyms, you know, nightclubs nightclubs, cafes all open up today. What I love is a lot of crosses from gymnasiums on TV this morning on the breakfast TV shows. And there was one, they were talking to a guy,

and he had a massive slogan up in the background, which was, you know, make yourself stronger than your excuses. There's also some great little pearls of wisdom in the gym world, aren't there, when it comes to idioms and sayings. Even slogans in general. We actually talking about this after after the show yesterday and uh i was saying slogans are great but then you were like well for every slogan there's there's an opposite one that can sort of counter that that slogan it can and we often live our lives as human beings like offering little pearls of wisdom i know i like to do it little catch

phrases and then you receive them as well you know that's how we all go through life just firing off cliches and and phrases at each other that we're meant to live and uh make decisions with our life by you know so i wanted to do something yesterday like i sent you an email last night with some some slogans so some popular sayings that people would say yeah and i've given you i get some homework overnight to see i I haven't heard what the response is from you, but you reckon they could counter my slogans. They'll cancel your positive slogan out.

For every positive slogan, there's another slogan that'll cancel it out. The opposite. That's the theory. So you go with your slogan, and I'll list off mine. Good luck to you, my friend. Alright, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Yeah, but don't forget, out of sight, out of mind. That's good.

Yeah, true. Oh, my gosh. Okay, the best things in life are free. The best things in life are free? Yeah, but there's no such thing as a free lunch. You're never too old to learn. Yeah, but you just can't teach an old dog new tricks, Ben. Oh, damn it.

Oh, my gosh. Many hands make light work. You're never too old to learn Yeah but you just can't teach an old dog new tricks Ben Oh my god Many hands make light work Yeah but too many cooks they spoil the broth Do unto others as you would have others do unto you That's a great saying That is a great saying but nice guys they finish last Don't judge a book by its cover Yeah but clothes they make the man

You know this Early to bed early to rise makes it healthy and wise Don't judge a book by its cover. Yeah, but clothes, they make the man. You know this. Early to bed, early to rise makes it healthy and wise. Yeah, but you can also just eat, drink and be merry because tomorrow we may die. Oh my gosh. Life is what we make it. What will be, will be. Money makes the world go round.

Yeah, but it's also the root of all evil, Ben. You've really counted everyone so far brilliantly. Opposites attract. And birds of a feather, they flock together. All good things come to those who wait. Yeah, but time, it just waits for no man. Slow and steady wins the race. Yeah, but time, it waits for no man.

And save it for a rainy day. And time, it waits for no man. I feel like he copied and pasted the last, but they all worked. I got a bit lazy at the last. It all worked. Wow. So what do they mean? Do any of them mean anything? That is so sad. I literally live

off quotes. I literally have so many quotes saved in my notes. Instagram lives off quotes. Yeah. What is life? It is a hit. She got John Oldman. It is what you make it, Juliet.

Rise and shine. Time to start the, um, who are we kidding? We're not the boss of you. John and Ben, the hits. Freedom Day. It's Freedom Day. Yeah, so enjoy that. Whatever traffic light you've head on into.

Bars and nightclubs open. Gyms. Movie theatres as well, cafes. So it's really cool actually. It feels like a little bit more normality today. Producer B Humps

just next door, he said, I can't wait to get back to the gym. That's what he said. Same. He said, I see you're going

to the gym today. He's like, probably not. Yeah, I know. Probably not today. But I can't wait to get back there. But I can't wait

when I do get back. Yeah, I can't wait. But you can go today, it's open. No, no, no. Not today. You'll be busy,, no, no. Not today. You'll be busy, you know. You know.

Hey, next week we want to achieve something that hopefully will unlock an epic prize for you. We want to go to the roof at Eden Park, the top of the stadium. And we're going to sit there, you and I, Jono, until we make two basketball shots to a basketball hoop down onto the field. Two shots at Eden Park. It's our two shots for summer and at least our vet will be going ahead with our two shots, all going well. But it's two shots

for shameless publicity to be completely honest but yeah apparently the biggest bugbear the biggest hurdle we have to climb Ben Boyce is the roof of the stadium at Eden Park which is you know freakishly high when you're up there but it's also made of tin. And when the sun is beating down on the tin, you know, getting up to soaring temperatures of up to 85 degrees up there.

I just picked that degree out of my head. But we could roast a chicken up there. You've heard about cats on hot tin roofs. What about Jono and Ben on a hot tin roof? Apparently that's going to be the biggest issue. Well, that and also how long it's going to take to get the balls back up to us as well. Another big issue. Yeah, and how much damage the balls could cause to Eden Park.

A lot of big issues. So we're going for lighter balls, which are going to float more, so it's going to make our job a bit harder. So, yeah, we're going to get two shots next week. It'll be both now two shots. We unlock an epic prize thanks to Eden Park, two all-access passes to Eden Park and $1,000 cash. So you get two tickets to every 2022 event,

cricket, rugby, powerade, G9, golf. There's concerts, 660, Guns N' Roses so far. Who knows, there might be more. And Eden Park experiences like Eden Park glamping and stadium rooftop. Yeah, well, 660, they were the first band, weren't they, to do a gig at Eden Park. And we'll be the first radio show to do novelty basketball shots at Eden Park. We're both making history.

Who's to say who made the better history? Probably 660. Yeah, you're right. But it's up there. Both history-making events. I mean, it's an iconic sports ground in New Zealand. And so many great sporting achievements have happened on that ground. But I'd say this could be the greatest.

Could be the greatest. Could be the greatest. Let's not undersell it. A lot of the time we're self-deprecating, Ben. Not in this instance. Okay, can we be? Yeah, this will be the greatest sporting achievement by any New Zealand team.

Ever, ever. I haven't had any greatest sporting achievements before. I played, I dabbled in basketball, like when it comes to skills that we need for this, I dabbled in high school. Right, yeah. I was in a team. I think my court time,

you could probably add up over an entire season of minutes on court, probably on one hand. But I was, I just mentioned before, my morale boosting butt patting. Oh, jeez. Jeez, it pulled the team through some... When I noticed they were down, I'd be like, it's okay, boys, slap, slap, slap.

You know, and you could tell the team spirit was through the roof. Well, it probably brought the team together, like basically them against you. Like, can they guys stop touching our posterior? Look, I can't beat him anymore. Like, I've done what I can. Just get him on the bench so he stops touching our bum. Yeah, so it's a

huge sporting achievement for us you know and I don't and we're going to open up the phone lines right now and I know every call

we're going to get it's going to pale in comparison to what we're going to achieve but we thought we'd give you an opportunity to at

least tell us your sporting achievement. What is your greatest sporting achievement? 4487 is the text number 0800 the hits.

We'll take them on. As Ben mentioned they're probably not going to topple what's about to happen but hey we'll take them on as Ben mentioned they're probably not going to they're not going to be as good as us they're not going to topple what's about to happen

but hey we'll give you the airtime you want yeah 4487 0800 the hits your sporting achievement is next it is

Jono and Ben Jono and Ben the hits next Wednesday Jono and I we're going to sit on the top of the stadium the stadium roof

at Eden Park and we're going to shoot the basketballs down onto the field and if we make two shots, it's not just two shots for summer, it's two shots to unlock an amazing prize and amazing, lots of tickets to Eden Park games, concerts

sporting events, it's going to be awesome it's going to be a great sporting achievement from us History making sporting achievement not only that but on a hot tin roof at 110 degrees Celsius, he gets up to that when the sun's pounding down on that hot tin roof. It'll be like Dubai and hell burning our faces. But I'm risking melanoma for this novelty basketball shot,

and that's the length we're willing to go to. So we want to know, what is your greatest sporting achievement? 0800 the hits? Obviously, I don't want to be, you know. We're not usually, as you say before, we're not usually one to talk ourselves up, but it won't be as, it won't be, you know. Your're not usually, as you say before, we're not usually one to talk ourselves up, but we won't be. Your achievement's going to pale in comparison.

Yeah, that's fine. He's tippy-toeing around the fact that you're going to phone up and you're going to feel like, oh, maybe I shouldn't have phoned up because what these guys are about to do is going to be greater than anything I've ever done. But that's fine, you know. Yeah, so we'll go to the phone.

So we've got Ruby on the phone. Your greatest sporting achievement, Rubes? Hey, guys. Yeah, fine. What you're doing is pretty inspiring, and I've been holding this one back. Just always wanted to share it. I'm actually like a world champion, like a sevens world champion,

and I've won an Olympic gold medal. Okay. All right. Okay, all right. Yeah, okay. Let's see. Is this Ruby Tui? It's not a blooper. Okay, all right, yeah. Okay. Is this Ruby Tui? Stop playing.

Ruby Tui from the New Zealand Sevens team? You know, we weren't banking on people of your calibre phoning through. Gold medal, okay, that's way cooler. I heard Eden Park. I was like, what are these boys up to? Well, we thought we were up to great things until you phoned up, Ruby.

You've got to include a sevens training somewhere in this. Oh, a sevens training. Yeah, okay. We'll somehow segue a sevens training into this whole. Get the fitness up. Yeah, we will. Hey, Ruby, you know what we love to do every time you come on this show? A bronco.

The song. The song. Not a bronco. That sounds like a Bronco challenge No no That's too much And we're going to take you out with Ruby Ruby Ruby

Tui Sing it again Ruby Ruby Ruby Ruby Tui Ruby Tui we love your work And you're way better than we could ever achieve But hey it's awesome to have you on the show I appreciate you boys so much, and I've got a pair of footy boots if you need for the roof,

but it might turn into a hazard. Love you, Ruby. You keep safe. Okay, boys. Have a good one. See you, mate. Wow, that was pretty cool. I wasn't expecting that.

That probably trumped us just a little bit. Yeah. Actually, a lot. Now we have Izzy online to welcome you to Greatest Sporting Achievement. Yeah. Oh, won the World Cup. Does that count? Well, you won a what?

You won a World Cup. In what? Oh, rugby. A rugby World Cup. Yeah, well, that would kind of. I'm connecting dots here. Israel Dagg. Is it Israel Dagg? Okay connecting dots here. Israel Dagg? Is it Israel Dagg?

Yeah, the lad. That's a lot better than anything we're ever going to achieve. Oh, jeez. That was on Eden Park you won the World Cup, right? Yeah, mate. Good memories, good memories. 2011, long time ago now. Ten years.

I've gone about a kilo a year. Ten kilos. Yeah. Good memories, boys. time ago now. Ten years. I've gone about a kilo a year. So I've got a kilo of trivia. Yeah. Good memories, boys. But yeah, that's probably

my greatest achievement on Eden Park. What have you boys done? Well, we're throwing basketballs into a hoop from

the roof of Eden Park. Yeah. Oh yeah, that's quite cool. It's not a rugby World Cup. I mean.

Yeah. But it's good for us. I appreciate your pity comment, though. It's an Rugby World Cup. I mean... Yeah, but it's good for us if we nail it. I appreciate your pity comment, though. As an All Black, because there is so much pressure, there's almost just an expectation that the team will win, but you're playing other teams who are, you know, equally as good on the international stage.

Do you feel that as a player from the country? Yeah, you do, you do, because everyone's so passionate about the side and they want to see them do well, they want to see them win. And you're right, every team that plays the All Blacks, they want to knock you off, you know, they want to beat you and they'll do anything possible. So every test match in that black jersey is tough.

Yeah, you do feel it, but other teams, particularly this year, they've caught up, they're playing extremely well and you've got to tip your hat to them, particularly Ireland and France. Any advice for us? I mean, from one great sports person to us, whatever we are. Any advice for trying to succeed at something

at Eden Park? Mate, you're great broadcasters, boys. That's what you are. So my bit of advice, go in, be confident, act like you're going to smash it, and you'll do it easy. I was going to say, stay in your lane there, mate. Go in, shoulders back, boys, chest out, ready to roll.

Good on you, Israel Digg. Thank you very much, mate. You have a great day, bud. Yeah, cheers, boys. There we go. Well, that was a bit of a rug pull. Yeah. It was almost like we built our thing up to enormous levels,

only to be undercut by actual athletes who have represented the country. It's a humbling tall poppy experience. People talk about it, right? It was pretty cool, actually. It was pretty cool having both Ruby and Israel on the show. Yeah, it's hard when you're a tall poppy and you're being cut down by taller poppies. Yeah, yeah, nah. Yeah, nah.

Yeah, nah. The home of yeah, nah. She'll'll be right and at the end of the day jonah and ben breakfast on the hits now i did something this week and even for me i i questioned i questioned myself i was like oh ben what are you doing now to give a bit of backstory we've talked about this before you know like i had a wee incident with the car where i thought i put the handbrake on and you know like so i've, like so I've had the car and it rolled down onto the road. And thankfully no one got hurt or anything like that. It reverse rolled down your driveway across two lanes of traffic and into the fence across the road.

I was so thankful that nothing happened like that. And I was sure that I put the handbrake on. Apart from to your neighbor's fence. Well, yes, which we obviously replaced. But, yeah. So since then i've been you know i've been taking sometimes i'll take a photo if i park the car on something that's a bit steeper but i take a photo just so i know that i've put the handbrake on just because it's something now i'm like oh geez i was pretty sure i did it that day so now i'm like i've got to do that when do you do your color of you know your your vast catalog of handbrake photos do you do the select all. When do you do your cull of, you know, your vast catalogue of handbrake photos?

Do you do the select all option? What do you do to get rid of that in your photo stream? Well, I usually try and clear them out because really I'm not going to print them out and put them in an album or anything like that, you know. It could be like an art exhibition, Handbrakes by Benjamin R. Boyce. Yeah.

So, yeah. So sometimes things like that kind of affect me a little bit. It's like plug switches. I have a turn the oven off, that sort of thing. I'm like, well, you know, I like to turn off from the wall and things like that kind of affect me a little bit like it's like plug switches i have i turn the oven off that sort of thing i'm like well you know i like to turn off from the wall and things like that peace of mind and take photos so he results this results in him unplugging a lot of items from the house yeah and turning off all lights and all switches before he leaves this is something i do just yeah so then the other day we did some filming we're talking about the other day we for a tv show and i was like oh better iron you know iron a couple of shirts to go along because you had to wear it you know a nice nice shirt and

some pants for the for the filming so before i went down there i did some ironing and then i did the old switch the iron off and i was like ah and then i might you know i was all hang on have i you know like do i need to like have i switched the iron off yeah yeah just just just to make sure did you unplug the iron yeah i plugged the iron and it was good and then it's pretty safe to say that i thought so. But I was just in that, you know, you're in a bit of a rush, and you're like,

I don't want to be thinking about the iron. So I grabbed the two shirts, and then what I did was something I'd never done before. I grabbed the iron, and I took it with me. You took the iron? And I put it in the car with me. It sat next to me. Was that because you were that paranoid?

Well, I just wanted reassurance. Oh, my God! And even as I drove out the driveway, I looked over at the iron and I was like, oh really, Ben? Are you taking the iron? He's the most disappointing iron man. He's like, unless you're wanting a blouse iron

at a moment's notice. Damn, if only someone had an iron right here. Well, Iron Man is here! I got one in my car, guys. Yeah, even for me, I was like, oh, you know, maybe that's one step too far. But hey, you know, that gave me some peace of mind. That's two steps too far. You had turned it off.

No, three steps. You had turned it off. So that's the only step that was required. But then you had unplugged it and taken it and took it to the car. So you're three steps too far. Even you could have just left it outside the house. Even that's still a little bit psychotic, but I would accept that more than travelling

from point A to point B with an iron in your car. Where did you leave it? We left it in the car. I didn't bring it in with me. Like on the front seat or in the back seat? No, just on the floor

but sitting up, you know? I'm surprised you didn't bring it in with you. You're like, oh, you never know, it could turn itself on in the car and come back to an inferno.

Oh, don't make me think about that. So, yeah. So even for me, I did that and I was like me think about that. So, yeah. So even for me, I did that. And I was like, well, maybe that's, yeah, as you say, three steps too far. But, yeah. Two dads just trying to fill some airtime. Some might say it's pointless, but the main thing is it fills in some airtime for us.

That is the main thing. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. It's going to be a good, good night. 7.31 on your Friday morning. Now, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, the series, huge international best-selling books. And there's a brand-new animated movie out today on Disney+, Diary of a Wimpy Kid. And we had an interview with the author, Jeff Kinney, lined up. My daughter, a big fan of Sienna, so I brought her along. And in hindsight, John, you've heard this.

It probably was a mistake on my behalf. Huge mistake on your part, yeah. She did a great job in the interview, but a lot of the mockery towards me. I wasn't expecting that. You were the punchline. You're like, man, I've got you here. In fact, I made you. I'm the reason you are here.

And then I get a lot. But have a listen to what I caught up with with my daughter, Sienna. Jeff Kinney, the author of Diary of a Wimpy Kid. We asked him firstly, how he was doing. Great first up question. Hey, it's good to see you both. It's nice to see you.

Well, look, Jono's not here because my daughter Sienna is here. She found out that I was interviewing you and she's a big fan, so she wanted to come along. That's really cool. I hope you're not like missing school for this. Well, maybe a little bit,

but she's got some burning questions for you jeff that worries me okay can you be my dad well i'm sorry you know i think the paperwork would be very complicated i think it's better to be there in new zealand but uh maybe every so often we could do like a zoom call and i'll hook you up with good a good story now here's an interesting one because sometimes when i'm reading a story like one of your books to her i sometimes i'm a little tired it's late in the day i skip ahead a little bit i paraphrase i get in trouble now because she reads along at the same time what's your thoughts on that i think it's really cool you know i wrote dire but wouldn't be kid originally for adults so the fact that adults and kids are sharing the books

that's really cool and i are sharing the books that's really cool and i think that the books give kids and adults something to talk about because you've probably said you know what something like this happened to me as a kid yeah and that just uh tightens your connection well that's cool we actually really enjoyed we both uh watched the the new movie that's on disney plus it was really cool and i want to know how the cheese touch like was it an actual thing when you were in middle school or was it just like a made up thing? It was a real thing. Actually, the cheese touch wasn't real, but the cheese was real. So there was a piece of cheese that appeared one day on our blacktop at our parking lot underneath the basketball hoop.

And that just stuck in my head. You know, I invented the cheese touch. It's sort of we had something in the US.s called the cooties i'm not sure if yeah cooties has traveled not you know not as much publicity as our covid but our cooties has traveled the world yeah so that's that i took those two things and put them together and created the cheese touch you've had um so much success i mean i was reading 250 million copies of diary of a wimpy kid 7 775 weeks in the New York Times bestseller list. You've met presidents. You've got this new movie out on Disney+. But then at the same time, you wanted to be a cartoonist.

Does the message here give up on your dreams? No, I think it's the opposite of that. I think, you know, it's really important to keep chasing your dream, but to also realize what the right dream to chase is. Because I wanted to be a newspaper cartoonist, and I failed at that. And I probably wouldn't have been a great newspaper cartoonist, but I'm a better cartoon novelist than I would have been a cartoonist. I've got an idea for a new book.

What about Diary of a Wimpy Adult? Because I love my dad, but he's not the bravest. Yeah, actually well to be honest it could be modeled on me if you like spiders uh anything to do with uh scary movies you know that's not really my forte Jeff right you know what's really funny about Greg is he's a cartoon character and he's like stuck forever so even he won't become a wimpy adult you know it like cartoon characters stay the same across decades I'm in middle school like the main character, Greg Hefley. It can be a difficult time for kids.

So do you have, like, a message for any Kiwi kids that are going through, like, a tough time going back to school? Yeah, you know, kids these days are going through a lot of tough times. It's really hard to navigate this. We're all trying to figure this out. So I would say it's going to get better. It might get better slowly, but we know what's important to us now, right? Which is being with other people. So I think that that's the thing that we hang on to. That's our North Star.

So you're actually in real life, away from obviously writing books, you own a bookstore in a very small town. Yeah. And I'm sitting on the third floor of it right now. You wouldn't know it from looking at me. And on the first floor is a real life bookstore. And it's a great part of my life. And I'm so glad that we were able to build it here in my little town. That's cool. What's your policy on people coming in and just reading the books without paying? Are you cracking down on that? You know, I found out that there's this huge wave of kids that grew up reading Wimpy Kid but never paid for them.

They'd read them at a bargain. And I don't know how I feel about that. I hope they turned out to be good people. I love reading stories, but I understand that you write the jokes before you actually write the stories? Yeah, that's right. Check out who did the research there.

This one, all right. I used to write about 300 jokes per book, 300, 350 jokes per book. But these days I write about 700 jokes per book. So I just write lots and lots of jokes, and then I see what's usable. I throw out about two-thirds of them and use the rest. Well, and then, so what, you just weave a story from the jokes? Yeah, and that's why my stories are a little shaky sometimes you know but what's it like for you i mean how much joy does it give you to not only know that kids all over the world like sienna here love reading your stories

but also love watching like the new movie on disney plus it must be kind of cool really fulfilling it really is cool you know i'm in this position of privilege where i get to write stuff and then people get to to consume it you know they get to watch it they get to read it and um it's it's an unbelievable privilege to be in that position oh well jeff it's been a real honor to uh to talk to you and also bring my daughter along to embarrass me uh with some questions about my uh shabby parenting uh but thank you so much for your time today we love the movie and i'm sure kids all over the world are going to love it. And I've got one thing just to do. Dad?

Yes? You've got the cheese touch. I've got cheese on my shoulder now. I've got the cheese touch. What do I do? What's the cure for cheese? Do I self-isolate? What happens here, Jeff?

You need to cross your fingers, but it's too late now. Just find the next person. Find the next victim. I'm not vaccinated against the cheese touch oh dear all right well jeff lovely to talk to you uh all the best it's been a real thrill thanks so much thanks uh that was jeff kiddy he is the author of diary of a wimpy kid uh a new movie out today animated movie on disney plus yeah they had bradley walsh and son that's ben boyce and daughter uh but you know, she just spends the whole time roasting her.

Hey, I'm up for it. It's great. I'm happy to be the punchline. Morning. This show contains traces of Jono and Ben. The Hits with Jono and Ben for breakfast. 107 days of lockdown has ended today. It's a good feeling around New Zealand. Do you know, collectively for Auckland, I saw this before, 188 days of lockdown.

Collectively, it's counting the last year and this year, 188 days of lockdown. I'm collectively counting them last year and this year. Oh, wow. 188 days. What country's done the longest stint of lockdown? I know your mate over in Chile. Oh, in Chile. Yeah, they're still in it. Are they still in lockdown?

In a form of it. Yeah. Wow. In Santiago there. They're still getting like 2,500 cases a day when I was speaking to them last week. Really? But they just have to move on. They're still getting like 2,500 cases a day when I speak to them last week. Really? But they just have to move on. They're just kind of living life like they're not.

Yeah. We'll get to the point. It's a little bit like Auckland at the moment. Remember we had the lockdown with one case, and now we're getting like 100. We go, oh, it's not a bad day. He's like, 175. We've been panicking six months ago. So you have to do kind of move on.

Melbourne had the world's longest lockdown, 245 days. Wow. Well done, Melbournians, Melbournesians. I don't know what we refer to them as. But speaking of all things COVID, a friend of ours, she works in like a sort of a cosmetic face place. You know those sorts of places. She's in Wellington.

You do look a lot fresher and younger. Do I? Yeah. I've just wanted to have the permanent look of surprise on my face. You do look like someone's just giving you a fright. But that's fine. I don't want you to know what emotion I'm feeling. I just want you to think that I'm surprised.

So mysterious. I've always got the face of someone who's had a surprise party thrown on them. There's protocol, obviously. They abide by now, like all service industries, particularly hairdressers and things like that. Well, that was strange. You could get cosmetic Botox, but you couldn't get a haircut for a while there.

It was. In Auckland, that was the case. I mean, your face was looking fantastic. Your hair was a shambles. Yeah. But yeah, so they send out an email to their whole database of clientele going, hey, here's the protocol of what you need to abide by when you come into the surgery. Well, it makes sense.

I mean, at the moment, the vaccine passports are getting wheeled out today. So there's a lot of protocol everywhere you go, even to get go into a cafe to get a coffee yeah so they they got five emails back from anti-vax people going this is ridiculous how could i not come into and she's thinking to yourself herself well i've been jabbing botox into your face yeah for the last five years and now you're making a stand of what you're putting into your body. Yeah, you think of all the people that would be anti-vax, they wouldn't be in the, yeah, the first ones that come to mind. Yeah.

Isn't that interesting? Yeah. You don't even know what Botox is, but you're putting it in your face. And now you've also got high and mighty about a vaccine created by science. Jono and Ben, the hits. Adam Levine, the lead singer of Maroon 5, debuted a facial

tattoo yesterday a rose tattoo it's actually really cool it looks cool alongside a bizarre face but and like his temple yeah his temple

but yeah it's always a big commitment once you launch onto the face have you seen Post Malone's face the rapper yeah there's not

much real estate left on his face is there wow he's got a lot of tattoos if it works for them and they're happy then that's all I say

I like what Post Malone's got under both of his eyes he's got a lot of tattoos if it works for them and they're happy then that's what I say I like what Post Malone's got under both of his eyes he's got always tired we need that that brings home for us maybe we should get a show of tattoos under our eyes

always tired it's a show he's might I that's for sure maybe in a previous life Post Malone was a commercial breakfast host. Whoa, these hours.

He's like, I've got to get into the rap game. They're a bit more sociable. Hey, we want to sort out your summer. All thanks to the brand new Škoda. We're going to give you $5,000 in the use of that sweet, sweet car to drive around with for a bit. Shall we head to Level Orange, Ben Boyce? Oh, why not? Do you say Level Orange or Light Orange?

Oh, sure. Welcome, Vanessa. How Do you say level orange or light orange? Oh, sure. Welcome, Vanessa. How are you? I'm fantastic, thank you. How are you? How's orange going? Oh, so far, so good. Yeah, right?

Not much so far, but hey, you've got the whole day ahead of you. Absolutely. Are you going to grope strangers and dance closely with people tonight at nightclubs, Vanessa? I wouldn't kiss and tell, I'm sorry.

No, but you can. You're allowed to kiss now. Is it part of it? I'm not sure. I'm not sure what level. Is kissing a level orange? Hooking up is part of it, but anyway, yeah. Hey, Vanessa, on to the matter at hand.

You've phoned through to win a Škoda and $5,000 over the summer period. What a prize. Oh, it would be amazing, honestly. We have tried probably three times this year to go on holiday and it's been ruined every time. Oh, really? We have no plans but a world of possibilities. Where are you going?

So where are you? No plans, but where would you take this car in cash? To be fair, I've got some friends up in Auckland. We're in Christchurch and I would absolutely love to go and see them. Could be a possibility. Good little road trip up from Christchurch. Yeah, seems like a great holiday location. The epicentre of

hell. Well done. Well, there's only one prerequisite if you've got this car. You need to drop Ben off at his mother-in-law's on Christmas Day. Yeah, you need to pick me up in Wellington on-in-law's on Christmas Day. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, you need to pick me up in Wellington on the 7th. Okay, that's it. Apart from that, it's all yours.

Perfect. All right, well, thank you so much for listening. Enjoy Level Orange today, all right? Thank you so much. And if you want to win that brand-new Skoda for a couple of weeks as well as $5,000 cash, it's all thanks to the new seven-seater Skoda Kodiaq, then listen for your cue to call. What is the hits? You got

Jono and Ben. Jono and Ben, empty your basket with themarket.com with prizes worth up to $5,000. This is such an amazing prize and we do it every Friday on the show. Thanks to themarket.com. They have an incredible range of items right now. All your Christmas shopping

you can get done at themarket.com with their millions of products and thousands of brands. And every week we get people to fill up their basket at themarket.com up to $5,000. Share it with us at the hits and then we pay on a Friday for someone's entire basket. We're galloping in on our white horses, don't we Ben Boyce? If this was in real life, it would be one of those moments that other customers would film with a cell phone and put on TikTok or something. It's that lovely. But Ben, so a lot of emotion over the last three weeks of winners as well.

People who have just, they needed this for Christmas. A lot of quivering voices, a lot of tears. And that was just me in the bathroom before the show because I locked myself in the cubicle. But today we're going to go through to a family, a big family. I don't know how big exactly, but we'll ring them now. Clarissa speaking. Oh, is that Chloe Anderton? Oh, yes.

Sorry, Clarissa's my real name. Chloe's my... Okay. Oh, mum calls me. Oh, say hi. Who are you running from? Yeah. Oh, wow.

There's this cattle. We'll just keep it hush hush. It's Jonathan Richard Pryor here and Benjamin Ross, boys from the Hits. Nice to talk to you,

Chloe. Oh, nice to talk to you boys too. Now, you've entered our competition for themarket.com. You've filled up your shopping basket

and shared it with us at thehits.co.nz. What's in your basket? Oh, lots and lots of presents for all my kids. I've got seven all together, allide.nz. What's in your basket? Oh, lots and lots of presents for all my kids. I've got seven all together, all boys. Seven children. Seven children, yes.

Seven. Did they all emerge from you, or where did they come from? No, thank God. So I have two boys myself, little Louie and a little Jared, and then my partner has five boys. So I've got yeah, we're an emerged family. So how, go through the ages.

What are the ages of these seven children? Okay, so we have a two, a three, two fours, a five, a six, and a 13-year-old. Oh my gosh. You're five players short of a rugby team. Yeah, I know. That is incredible. We've got a seven-a-side team, of a rugby team. Yeah, I know. We've got a seven-a-side team, so that's good. Yeah, true, with some reserves. Yeah.

What? Day to day, how busy is this household? Oh, it is so busy. Full-on little boys, but we try to get them outside, get them out into the world and not inside where they're in each other's faces. What is a lockdown like with seven children? Pretty hectic, but my partner, what did he call himself? Mr. Dinosaur comes out and teaches them all.

Oh, Mr. Dinosaur. The T-Rex comes out. The role play. Yeah, yeah. Oh, beautiful. Well done on you guys managing seven children. That's phenomenal. Thank you.

Now, some of the stuff you put in the gift basket at themarket.com, you had a 50-inch television, a zero-gravity chair. What is a zero-gravity chair? I have no idea, but the partner's been wanting one for a while, so I thought I would get him one so he can sit outside and watch the kids while I tidy up inside and keep them busy. Sitting at zero gravity, he can

watch those children. Yeah, he'll be nice and relaxed. Mr Dinosaur in that shed. There's also toys as well, plenty of toys in there, and thanks to themarket.com we want to pay for your entire basket to have Christmas sorted on us. Oh my god, thank you guys so much.

It is amazing. $5,000 worth, Chloe. Oh, I can probably put some stuff in for myself. Oh, you should. You definitely should. You should get yourself a zero gravity something. Oh, I might. I might get a better one, actually.

This couldn't go to a more deserving household. Sorry so much. You two are definitely little Christmas elves. That's what I call Ben all the time. He's my little Christmas elf. Well, you go and have a great Christmas. Lots of love to the family. All right?

Did I make it weird offering love to the family? Maybe you did. Sorry, are you still there, Chloe? No, she's gone. I did. She no longer wants the gift from me. Why do I say lots of love to the family? No, no, I think it was fine.

It was fine. I had good intentions. Yeah, we lost her. But there you go. If you want to fill up your basket at themarket.com, you can share it with us at thehitstockcode.nz. And next Friday, we could be paying for someone's entire basket up to $5,000. Spy.

Know what's up. Spy.co.nz. Getting ready to step on the throats of all your favourite celebrities. I'll hand you over to Juliet. Think some careers? So we spoke about this yesterday that Alec Baldwin has done his first sit-down interview

since the fatal event that happened on the Rust film set. So it's an interview that does air this afternoon so you'll probably start seeing more news about it this afternoon in New Zealand. But a preview clip has been released where he says he never actually pulled a trigger. You've described it as a one in a trillion shot and the gun was

in your hand. It wasn't in the script for the trigger to be pulled. Well the trigger wasn't pulled. I didn't pull the trigger. So you never pulled the trigger? No, no, no. I would never point a gun at anyone and pull a trigger at them never how did a real bullet get on that set i have no idea someone put a live bullet in a gun a bullet that wasn't even supposed to be on the property how do you respond to actors like george clooney you say that every time they were handed a gun they checked it themselves you said you're not

a victim but is this the worst thing that's ever happened to you? Yes. Oh, he looks exhausted. Yeah, and he was crying in the club as well when they were talking about Helena Hutchins. It's just so sad. I think it's going to be an hour-long interview. It'll be quite somber.

Has he spoken to her family? I think he has. Yes. Yeah, yeah. I think the next day he was talking to the husband and together and things with the family and stuff as well. And I think a lot of people commenting online

were sort of being like, why is this not being investigated right now? Why is this not happening? Why do we not know who's to blame yet? But then I think maybe the director said, look, we're trying to work on this behind the scenes. We're dealing with, you know, we're wanting to work with the families who are affected.

This is sort of a personal matter that we need to deal with first before we come out and then. Why aren't you doing it on the internet? Yeah, I know. Why can't we all be the judge and jury in the comments section? I know. What is wrong with the world? I know. It's very sad.

You just feel for everyone involved. Most importantly, obviously the family of Helena. But, you know, Alec Baldwin, would you come back from that? I don't know. Career-wise, probably not. Probably not. And it's just like one of those accidents that you're like, oh, my goodness, this should not have happened.

You just replay it in your head. Yeah, very, very sad. Yeah, because it was an older gun, right, by all accounts. Yeah, I think so. So maybe that's how it went off if he wasn't pulling the trigger. That's very true. But the number of things to go wrong to, A, have a live bullet in there. Yeah.

Him saying he didn't pull the trigger, must have gently touched it or something. And then also the aim and direction of where the bullet went. Yeah. You go, it's a complete, what are the chances of all of that happening? I know. Just a horrible sort of coincidence, I guess. And this is an interesting thing that's come up on the internet. I like interesting things on the internet.

I'm quite interested in your thoughts on this. A petition has been created with more than 11,000 signatures so far to stop hearing about Will and Jada Smith in the news and to stop media outlets interviewing them. So there have been some stories that we have spoken about and there have been some stories that we haven't spoken about. I mean, Will himself has been very open about his intimate life, you could say. Maybe you've been sheltering us from it, Juliet,

but I don't feel like there's been a torrent of Will Smith Jada Pinkett Smith content Blasted in my face Ben Boyce over to you I've read quite a lot they're very open about Their life particularly their love life I think it's all centred around stop talking about your love life Basically because you know relationships They've had obviously where they're in a relationship

Open relationship whether they're in she's seen Other people whether there was a fierce Even him going back to when he was like single as well. Yes. So he had so much sort of lovemaking. It would make him physically sick as well. He would make love so much he would be physically ill. He would vomit.

Yes. He would vomit. This is huge. This last week. Every time. Yeah. Yeah. So people are like, we don't want to hear about this.

Yeah. So stop asking him about it. Stop talking about this. I mean, I love Will Smith. Yes. But there's probably a point that I'm like, I don't need to hear about you refluxing after making love. No, it's like the same time.

It's kind of interesting to see at the same time. I'm like, wow, how does that even happen? How do you vomit afterwards? I know. How do you get to that point? Yeah. Exhaustion. You're just putting your body, like running a marathon.

Will Smith. That is true. That is true just putting your body, like running a marathon. Will Smith. That is true. That is true. And that is your Spy Update for this hour. For more, you can head to thehits.co.nz. After 7 o'clock on the show, we want to tell you how you can win a pretty epic prize next week that's happening at Eden Park if we succeed on something. I don't know if we will.

As well as that, the author of the best-selling Diary of a Wimpy Kid series. A new movie out on Disney Plus today. We're going to talk to him as well. It is The Hits. Five words for 5K on The Hits. You're only five words away from a massive payday. It's our Game of Word Association. We play it every morning at this time on The Hits.

It's a really fun game, and we've got close. Four out of five yesterday were so close to giving away the $5,000. Let's get Jess on from Christchurch. She's in Fanta in orange. How's it going in orange there, Jess? Pretty good. Same old, same old. It's not a huge difference for you guys in Christchurch, all right?

No, not yet anyway. Yeah, she's in level Trump. We call orange level Trump. Level Trump. In orange. Now, Jess, let's give you something to smile about, which kind of assumes that you lead a miserable life and you don't smile about things.

Now, I'm sure that's not the case, but would five grand put a smile on that dial, Jess? Absolutely. Yeah. This cash, what's it going towards? Definitely Christmas presents that time of year. Yeah, you're right. It seems to be a constant at the moment,

people saying that they need to pay for Christmas. Yeah. Yeah, it's been a tough year. Yeah, tough're right. It seems to be a constant at the moment, people saying that they need to pay for Christmas. Yeah, it's been a tough year. It's been a tough year, yeah. You know, travel is slowly opening, so maybe a little bit of travel next year. Lovely, lovely. Who have you got to buy presents for? Oh, family.

Yeah. Sometimes you need to draw the line with family, especially the wider circle, don't you? Yeah. Sometimes it's good to go, we'll just buy for the kids. You're like, yeah, that's great, you know? Yeah, it is a good theory. Yeah. Because you end up buying

something you know they're not going to like, but it's an obligation. You're like, I'm just going to get something of this person. I don't need a potato peeler that looks like, you know, Barack Obama. I don't know why that's the first thing that came into my head. Random, but alright. Barack Obama potato peeler. Alright, Jess, who do you want to send's the first thing that came into my head. Random, but all right. Barack Obama.

All right, Jess, who do you want to send into the soundproof booth? Can I please choose Jono? Okay, Jono. Let's get you 5K. He had a pretty good run yesterday. He got four out of five, so hopefully that's a good omen for you today, Jess. He is in the soundproof booth. Here we go.

Your first word this morning is Colby. C-O-L-B-Y, Colby. Cheese. Colby. C-O-L-B-Y, Colby. Cheese. Colby, cheese. Solar was the second word. S-O-L-A-R, solar. Power. Solar power.

That's the one that Lord would have gone with as well. Mute is word number three. M-U-T-E, mute. You mute something? I've got quiet or TV. Yeah, yeah. They're good options. Do you want to come back to that one?

Let's come back to that one, please. Okay, keys. Keys? Yeah, K-E-Y-S keys. Automatically I've got two options for that one too. Car? Yeah, car keys. Keys? Yeah, K-E-Y-S, keys. Automatically, I've got two options for that one too. Car? Yeah, car keys. And pool, P-O-O-L, pool.

Swimming. Swimming. And back to mute. Oh, gosh. You'll have to ask me that again. I think I might go quiet. Quiet. All right, Jess.

Are you going to lock it in? I don't know. Leave me quiet. Give me an answer. Let's just go quiet. Quiet. You're going to lock it in? All right, Jess. Lock it in.

All right. You did really well. It's hard when those ones are like 50-50. So, yeah, it's hard to make a call. But you did a good job. Jono's back here. All right, Jessicles. Let's win you 5K. Hope so. Let's hard to make a call, but you did a good job. Jono's back here. Alright, Jesticles, let's win you 5k. Hope so.

Let's do it. How do you think you went? Oh, there was one word that was quite tricky. Don't let me down, please. It's all on you now. Don't let me down. Don't let me down. Don't let me down. The family counting on you, Jono.

Jono, that saved Christmas. It could be right now. Alright, Jono, first word Christmas. Jono that saved Christmas. It could be right now. All right, Jono. First word, Colby. Colby. Colby cheese. Thank you. Didn't let her down on that one, did you?

No. Solar. S-O-L-A-R. Solar power. Yeah. All right. Haven't let you down yet, Jess. This is the one that potentially you could let her down on.

Mute. Mute. Mute? Mmm. Jeez. I'm drawing a blank on mute. Mute. Can we leap back to mute?

Yeah, we can come back to mute. Yeah, keys. Keys. K-E-Y-S, keys. Car keys. Ooh, nice. And pull. P-O-O-L, pull.

Ooh, there. And pool. P-O-O-L. Pool. Ooh, there's two there. I'll go swimming pool. Oh, all right. The other one was pool table. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. All right, Jess, we're four out of five. We're going to put you on hold so we can't hear.

This is a hard one. Yeah, we're going to... Don't let me down. We've got that ringing in my head. We're going to come back to mute. Producer B Humps is coming with the... He's got the celebration cannon. The cannon. Oh, jeez. It stresses me out. It does stress me out as well.

Mute. Mute? Yeah. I'd have to lock in remote, like remote control, so mute. Ah! Jess! Ah! So close, Jess. What did you go, Jessica?

Quiet. Quiet. Oh, yeah. There was a few options for mute. That was a really tough word. Talked about TV as well. Silent was another one I just thought of as well. Yeah, it was a tough one.

Four out of five ain't bad, but it's not five grand. No, it's not. But thank you very much. That was fun, Jess. Thank you. Hey, that was fun, Jess. Thank you. Sorry, that was a good game. You played well. You have a wonderful weekend in Christchurch, okay?

You too. Another chance for someone to play a Monday morning with us. The same game, Five Words 5K. It is the hits. These show producers were nominated for a radio award because when you work with these guys, you deserve a medal. Tuna and Ben New Zealand's Breakfast

He's coming to town We are getting into the Christmas spirit that's Michael Bublé it is the hits Jono and Ben he spoke to a lot of

he spoke to the Drive show Stace, Mike and Anika as well, a few other radio stations. So he seemed awesome, but I was a little bit like, oh, a little bit gutted that we didn't get to speak to Michael Bublé. I love the Bublé. I tell you, I told you whose fault it was. It was producer Bee Hunt. Lackluster producing.

Yeah. I just feel like I'd get on good with Bublé, you know? Yeah, right. I don't know what it is about him. He just seems like, you know, He's too good for me, obviously, but I just feel like I'd be the hang-around mate that would always text him, what are you up to? So is there anything you want me

to do about this now? I don't know. I just wanted to have a little moan about it. Maybe next year. I don't know if you know who I am. I've got no power to fix this for you. I'm sorry I went on that little moan. I'm sorry, guys. That's fine. Hey, very exciting. It's Freedom Day for the country. A lot sorry I went on that little moan. I'm sorry, guys. That's fine. That's absolutely fine. Hey, very exciting. It's Freedom Day for the country.

A lot of people in orange, some in red. I can't remember who's in what. No one's in green, though. Yeah, no one's in green yet. But it's party time, and we've celebrated this week by remixing an old Kiwi classic, Jordan Luck's song in the exponents, White is Love.

I don't know. Which we're going to play for our version, our DJ version for you very surely, but it's got a little tense around here, hasn't it? Yeah, it's awkward, eh? In the music game, because... I didn't realise this, the first time we dipped our toes into the music game,

and already, you know, I'm going on weird tangents about loving Michael Bublé, which is, you know... This is why the music game doesn't want you. Because you couldn't go to a music function and you'd just be like, Bublé, you know. This is why the music game doesn't want you. Because you couldn't go to a music function and you'd just be like, Buble, you and me would be great mates. What common interest do we have other than you liking my music?

How come you spoke to Tony Street and Fletch and Vorby to talk to me? Yes, anyway. But Lance Valle, who you'll know from Celebrity Treasure Island, amazing dancer and a wonderful human being. He's danced with the likes of Rihanna, danced with Beyonce at the Super Bowl. He's just an absolute

legend. He's also released a single as well, a dance music single, and he's with us on the phone right now. Lance! Yeah! What's up, brothers? How are you? Doing really well, Lance. It's lovely to have you on, but also awkward to have you on. Yeah, a little bit awkward.

Because... Last time was awkward that my wife was following him and not me on TikTok, but I'm putting that to one side because we've got new beef with you, Lance Avala. To be honest, he hasn't put it to one side, Lance. He brings it up most days. What's going on?

So you've released your own single this week. You're DJing now and you've released a song. Yep, yep. You dropped it. It's called Floor Is Lava. There it is. Zanger. It is a zanger. It really is.

What do you reckon? Give us your honest thoughts. Do you want my honest opinion? It feels like a song that I'd listen to in the grungiest of nightclubs at about 3.30 in the morning. And loving it. And then go, I need to go home. Why am I still here?

I love it. I want to take you to the chorus here if we can just mow through it. Yeah. Jump up and down like the floor is lava. Let's go. Lance Savali single. We wanted to not like it,

Lance, but we do. We love it. Come on. I love you guys. How can we not love Lance and how can we not love his single? And I like what you've been doing on social media as well, playing a wee game of The Floor is Lava as well. Yeah, honestly just having fun, man.

Nothing too serious. Just want everyone to listen to it and have a good time. That's about it. Good on you. Well, honestly, just having fun, man. You know, nothing too serious. Just want everyone to listen to it and have a good time and yeah, that's about it. Good on you. Well,

this is where the awkwardness comes in. I mean, you've got a great song. Yeah, he has. We acknowledge. Yep.

Well done. Well done. But we've also dropped a song this week as well, a dance music song. Awkwardly on the same day as such.

Wow. Wow. Now, I don't want any murder on the dance floor here. How convenient, boys. Yeah. So we've gone for a remix.

You know, that's all the rage right now, remixing classic songs. And we've gone with an old Kiwi classic, Why Does Love Do This To Me? Now, if you don't mind, if you would do us the honor of listening to our song. Wait, you guys are singing on? No. No, no. We've done a DJ mix. Okay, okay. That's all right then. Fire up. Okay, you guys are singing on? No. No, no. We've done a DJ mix. Okay, okay.

That's all right then. Fire up. Okay, here we go. I don't know What is love To this to me What is love What is, what is love

Yeah. So that's ours. And so we've done this all on the same week. I mean, we didn't check your calendar. It's all good timing. It's like when James Blunt brought out his album the same week as Adele. You know, it's the same thing, you know?

Honestly, I love you guys, but I actually have to go. Oh, you've got what? Yeah, I've got to go. Sorry. He's got to go before we ask him what we think about the song. Okay. And it's such a great song, man.

It's awesome. I'm sure it's going to be huge over summer. Thank you so much, brothers. Yeah, Larsa Valley from Celebrity Treasure Island. He's got a new single out today, and we've got ours dropping. It's just in time for, you know, the Orange Lights, the clubs that are going to be opening back again. You're aware of the Wellington Christchurch today, right?

It's the Exponents, White as Love, the remix. Oh, why does love do this to me? Why does love, why does, why does love, why does love do this to me? Jackie came, she went away, deep in the valley, I kissed her that day, but It seems I'm thinking of you, but I'm still thinking about myself I don't know. Oh, I don't know. I don't know. Why does love do this to me? I don't know. I don't know. I miss you.

You know that. But when I see you sometimes, I'm cut out and I'm broken. There am I Asking you how you are Jackie came She went away Deep in the valley I kissed her that day but

It seems I'm thinking of you But I'm still thinking of someone else I don't know. What is love to this to me? I don't know. What is love to this to me? What is love? What is, what is love?

I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. Do it to me. I don't know. Why does nobody do it, do it, do it to me? I don't know. Why does nobody do it, do it to me? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know I don't know I don't know As painful as entering a password on your TV remote One letter at a time

Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast And as the hits, Jono and Ben, it's almost the end of our show Before we go, we love looking at the UK, the British Prime Minister, Boris Johnson. He seems to be doing something that makes us laugh every week. He needs his own sitcom, doesn't he? He's the bumbling professor. Last night, he put on the Christmas tree

outside his house in Parliament. You know, he's got his own house. Downing Street, number 10. Yeah, and he said, put on a Christmas tree. He has these kids there, and he was going to turn the lights on. He was hyping up the kids as he went to turn it on. Well, this happened.

Yeah! Are you very excited about Christmas? Yeah! This is going to be considerably better than last Christmas. Yeah! Okay, are you ready? Let's count down from five. Five, four, three, two, one.

Woo! Five, four, three, two, one. Why'd the applause die so quick? Well, so the lights went on and then went straight back off. The kids were like, oh. We came out for that. Mum drove me here for that. Oh, God. Have a great day. Enjoy the new traffic light system.

We'll catch you Monday from 6.