Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: If Your Child Was Named After Your Pregnancy Craving, What Would They Be Called?

Episode Date: September 13, 2021

Our kids would have some very bizarre names if we named them after our wives' pregnancy cravings...! We also learnt today that Jono's son is a future entrepreneur. He thought of a GENIUS idea to do with vacuum cleaners! Over the weekend was also the 20th anniversary of 9/11. We spoke with a man, Elias Kanaris, who was on a plane at the same time as 9/11, and was directly affected while in the air. Super interesting. Enjoy the poddy whānau!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. That's the podcast, welcome. It's the 13th of September 2021. Jonathan here, Benjamin here, and how was your weekend, mate? Yeah, it was pretty good. It was pretty good your weekend, mate? Yeah, it was pretty good. I mean, for a lockdown, it was pretty good.

Yeah. You kind of just do it, don't you? You just do it. I know the rest of the country, you're out and about doing all your running out in your active wear and your breathing on each other and, you know, whatever you're doing in Level 2. Yeah, I think that's what you're allowed to do, right, in Level 2? It's amazing how quickly you do go back

to normality, though, isn't it? After something like this. Right. How you can go, yeah. When you look back on this, it's a surreal moment in history. Yeah, I was trying to say that to the kids. You know, you're talking, they're like, oh, whatever. You know when you're like, yeah.

But they just take stuff in their stride, children, don't they? Yeah, yeah. Well, it's kind of like we reflected a little bit on 9-11 today, and that's one of those moments in your life that you look back and go, jeez, that was just such a horrific moment that's etched into everyone's minds who was there to witness the horror of that. It's one of those moments.

And lockdown in many ways, this whole period of this whole pandemic will be like that for a lot of people in some ways. I always look at people who turn 100 and stuff, and you see them sort of sitting there on the news, and they're like, and they're like, just end me now. I'm done. But the stuff that those centurions have seen,

like to go from 100 years ago to now, Bezos is flying into space in a penis rocket. Yeah. Just the transformation in technology alone. When they were like, were they, I don't know, were they horse and carting it to, you know, get around? Technology 100 years ago. Yeah. They probably were horse and cart.

Yeah. Technology 100. You said something the other day, you're like, oh, what would we do without the internet? Because we looked it up really quickly. But you had to, you had to be really committed to finding out something before that. Electricity was groundbreaking. Yeah. That would apply in your mind, wouldn't it? Electricity. Yeah, it would have been.

You've gone from electricity to people using the internet to send all sorts of pictures and content to each other. Yeah, yeah. Just amazing, isn't it? Yeah, well there we go. And so the older you get, you kind of do appreciate the people above you, older generations, who go, back in my day. Because it must just be jaw-dropping for them when they sit back and think about it.

Yeah. Yeah. They were going around smoking and... Smoking when they were pregnant to keep weight down. Yeah, they're like, oh, this is the greatest thing ever. Oh, keeps me slim while I'm here. I'm a third trimester sort of thing. Yeah. Little did they know that that was what was ahead of them. Do you reckon the same thing will happen with vapes?

Yeah, I'd imagine so, yeah. There was a guy we used to work with just a year ago who was vaping in the office. No one looked twice. I think people actually did look twice. Yeah, like someone was vaping at the movie theatre a while ago when I was there. Inside the theatre?

Inside the theatre. I was like, is that a... Is that a... Is that a thing? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because there's no, you know, there's no smoking signs, but there's no... Yeah.

I'm pretty sure you can't vape inside the... But hey, I don't know. I'm a Kiwi. I don't want to make a fuss, so I'll just go... I hate confrontation. Are they? Oh, I guess they are. Yeah, you can breathe your vape all over me.

I like it. I enjoyed the podcast today. We caught up with Pete the Cabbie, who's a New York cab driver, where he was on the day of 9-11. And also we talked to a man who was directly affected by the 9-11 tragedy. But in a way that you wouldn't believe. It did involve him staying in a plane for an insane amount of time. That's all to come and much, much more.

That's a vague sweeping generalisation. Scrolling through your feed. That's all to come, and much, much more. Yeah, that's a vague sweeping generalisation. That's right, it's time to bring in our very own Jack Tame here to present the news for you. It's Jack Lame, my mate Benjamin Boyce. What's been happening, buddy? Well, we saw this, I think, on Friday, we saw Jacinda Ardern,

her reaction to a question at the press conference about alleged sort of adult encounter, shall we say, at Auckland Hospital. She kind of grimaced and she sort of winced when the reporter informed her. She didn't know about it. She was a bit like, what?

What was going on? Well, now this has made international news. Now, Stephen Colbert hosts one of the late shows over there in America. He came to New Zealand a couple of years ago and he loves everything to do with New Zealand, including this story. And he had this to say on it. There is some lighter COVID news out there involving New Zealand Prime Minister and my personal Uber driver, Jacinda Ardern.

Global leaders have heard pretty much every question you could think of about COVID-19. But this week, Ardern got a new one. Sexual relations between a patient and a visitor at Auckland Hospital. Would you say that is this a high-risk activity in the current climate? They have sex at the Auckland Hospital? You know your country is tiny when you can't have sex without the Prime Minister finding out about it. Oh no, is it David from Wellington? Because that sounds like David.

That's very good, very good, very true. I'm just like, how does it kick off in a hospital? It still dumbfounds me. Who makes that proposal? You know? And you've got to be pretty adventurous, don't you? I don't know, I don't have it in me. Do you have it in you, Ben?

Well, it depends on what i'm in there for okay let's break this down okay what circumstances would you well if i'm going clearly there's an opening here so what is it i don't know maybe for like i've broken a toe or something then maybe it's a is that a moment you'll fornicate? Yeah, but if I've got bronchitis or something, they're like, oh, that's probably not prime sort of... Prime time.

Oh, you're just more worried about spreading sickness. No, but if I was a patient, you know, I think it would depend on what I was in there. What if you're having a knee surgery? Yeah, what knee surgery? Possibly all right. A little bit of work around, but all right. And a UK teenager, she's 18 years old,

and she won the US Open tennis over the weekend. Here is the moment where she won. The remarkable Emma Raducanu. From the Qualleys to the Queen at the United States Open. You might never see this again. So Emma Raducanu, she's 18 years old. She just won the US Open. Now, three months ago, three months ago, she was in high school.

On Instagram, three months ago, she had about 2,000 followers. Now she has 1.4 million followers. Instagram blocked her apparently because they were like it must be bots oh my gosh because it just was gone from like a couple of thousand to over a million over the last couple of months but how's that she got a letter from the queen um yeah it's just like her life has changed and yeah amazing amazing story so 18 years old she swore you do when you're 18 having sex in the hospital with a broken toe i didn't get caught but was shamed in a press conference with the prime minister

and that is scholarly for you hard-hitting interviews and informed opinion mike hosking on news talks at b in the meantime, here's Jono and Ben The Heads Yeah, now we're all waiting around for the big announcement this afternoon To find out if the levels in New Zealand Are going to change We're all filling in time, let's be honest We are all filling in time, it's a fun time

To be broadcasting, because we're all just like What's the point of it, who knows, who's listening, I don't know But we're coming in here doing stuff And that's the thing And I saw this, and I'm going to be a blatantly obvious with us all this on another radio station's instagram feed australia australian radio station kiss okay content courtesy of kissy yeah and i thought this was good they said if your child give them a kiss on both cheeks to thank them for this content yeah so it says if your child was named after what you craved while

pregnant with them what would your child be named? I thought we'd throw that out there. It could be quite interesting on 100 of the Hits. Maybe if you've had a couple of kids, would there be different cravings? In fact, I know firsthand with my wife. What's your child called? Oh, yeah, she had some really interesting ones. Yeah, we'll try and call Amanda next, actually.

I know Jennifer, when she was pregnant with Oscar, our eldest, she was craving oranges. And his middle name's John. So he's OJ, Oscar John. Oh, there you go. So it could have been, yeah. Yeah, and also named after my favorite American footballer, OJ Simpson. So it could have been orange in this case.

If he was named after the craving, it would have been orange. Yeah, correct. And Poppy was, she said, Wattie's Spaghetti and Sausages. So she probably, potentially, if I was to name her, Watties Spaghetti and Sausages. So she probably, potentially, if I was to name her, it would be Spaghetti and Sausages. It wouldn't go with the branding? It wouldn't go Watties? Little Watties?

Little Baby Watties? No, Little Baby Watties is probably better than Sausage. You never want Sausages in your name, do you? All right, so I added that to 4487. What would your baby be called, your child be called, if it was named after your pregnancy craving? I must be pregnant now because all I crave is onion dip, and my belly looks like it's in the third trimester,

so I'd have little baby onion dip. We'll find out next. Now, we're throwing it out there this morning. If your child was named after what you craved while pregnant with them, what would their name be? A lot of calls and texts flowing through. Right now, on the phone. I know, Amanda, your wife. Warning, if your child was named after what you craved while pregnant with them, what would their name be? A lot of calls and texts flowing through. Right now, on the phone.

I know Amanda, your wife. I know, I tell you. You're Amanda Ben's wife, all right? Hello, everyone. Nothing Amanda loves more than being described as Ben's wife. Yeah, yeah. One of the favorites, isn't it? One of the favorites. She's like, please don't associate me with Ben.

Yeah, yeah. So, Amanda Ben's wife. I was just recounting to my friends here about your cravings. We're doing basically, you'll know because you've been listening to the show, right? Always. Yeah. What would your child be called if it was named after your pregnancy craving? So if we could go through now, Sienna and Indy. Oh, no. What would our two daughters be named if it was after your pregnancy craving. So if we could go through now. Sienna and Indy, what would our two daughters be named

if it was after your pregnancy craving? Sienna would be called Gherkin Juice. Gherkin Juice? Yeah, because you did. You used to open it out of the fridge. I remember it well. And you'd be sort of opening the jar of Gherkins and drinking a wee bit from time to time of the Gherkin.

Is it the brine? The brine. Yeah, the brine, you know. But you were pregnant. It was a craving. Have you had, do you drink gherkin. Is it the brine? The brine. I don't know how to answer the phone. Yeah, the brine, you know. But you're pregnant. It was a craving. Have you had, do you drink gherkin juice now? No, no. It was just a pregnancy thing, yeah.

Can you go back to the gherkin juice? So you're like, oh. A bit weird, isn't it? Yeah, right. Okay, so. Sienna would be gherkin juice. And Indy, our youngest, would be what? Strawberry milkshake.

Strawberry milkshake. Oh, yeah, that's quite good. Strawberry milkshake's an adorable little name, isn't it? It sounds like a name that Gwyneth Paltrow or someone would name their children. I've got apple and strawberry milkshake. Yeah, it would be. That's alright, and the milkshake brings all the boys.

No, we don't probably want to associate that. Did your mate milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard, Amanda? Thank you. Thank you for your time. It's okay. Earring my dirty laundry. I think Amanda regrets giving us her time this morning. Just for the record, that was Ben's wife, Amanda.

Got Tracey on from Whangarei. Welcome, Trace. Hi. If you were to name your baby after your pregnancy craving, what would it be? Carpet. Carpet? Did you eat carpet? No, I licked it? Did you eat carpet? No I licked it

Did you? Are we getting into questionable territory here? It had to be the nice fresh brand new carpet samples from the shop I see you go to like carpet court and go give me all your samples Well at the time my parents were re- carpeting, and it just smelled so good. And then my mum found me hiding in the bedroom licking the samples. Oh, this is awesome. With the shame of being caught licking the carpet samples.

This is so bad. Was there any, you know, texture or colour of carpet that was preferred over the others? You know, the texture, like, the thick sort of, you know, the one when you rub it on your tongue, the texture like the thick sort of, you know, the one when you rub it on your tongue and, oh, it's just, you know, nice. I can't relate. No, in no way. I kind of see your thought process, but yeah. To demonstrate, Ben's going to lick the office carpet now.

Oh, the office carpet. Oh, no. Couldn't do that. I like how you've got fresh samples. That's what you want to go. And so was there, you know, once, did you ever outlick the carpet? You're like, well, there's no more licking to be had on this carpet? No, they got confiscated.

Oh, this is just bringing shame upon the family? They took them away from you? Yeah, my mum was, what the hell are you doing? And took away her carpet. Yeah. And I didn't want to lick skanky carpet, so it was over. It was over. And now you have wooden floors.

Yeah. That's an amazing call, Tracey. So a little baby carpet licker. Yeah, could be. There we go. Thank you, Trace. You're welcome. Incredible.

It is that. You've got Jono and Ben. You're running late, stuck in traffic, and now you have to listen to this. Jono and Ben, the hits. Jeez, I've done an excessive amount of vacuuming over the last five weeks. How about you guys? You've done a bit of vacuuming. So much vacuuming.

Yeah. Just non-stop, and it sucks. Literally, it sucks vacuuming. It's one of my chores where I'm like, I don't like it. I don't like it. Are you a vacuumer? I don't mind vacuuming, yeah. I quite enjoy the satisfaction of after it's been vacuumed, you know.

The house has been vacuumed. I like vacuuming the driveway for some weird reason. Just the sound of the stones going up the pipe there. But my son Oscar, he just hates it when the vacuum cleaner's on. And what happens is the sea of noise, the television goes up to like 96. The vacuum cleaner's humming. People are talking. It's just too much.

It's a cacophony. And he, I think, has probably come up with the world's most genius invention. And I've Googled it. It's not a thing yet. Right. Have a listen. You know what?

What's your thoughts, mate? What are your ideas? I'm going to be the first person when I'm older to create a silent vacuum cleaner. And you know how I'm going to do that? How are you going to do that? Well, aren't electric cars silent? And isn't there an engine in the vacuum cleaner?

Slice down the electric car engine and pop that sucker into the vacuum cleaner. Genius. Why is that not a thing? Well, that's a really interesting point. I guess the sucking thing is going to be the hard thing for him to make quiet. Because you mentioned you could make a motor that wouldn't make any noise as a vacuum cleaner. But to actually get to something that gets the technology to suck, and we know about sucking on this show, that's for sure.

And you can't suck silently. Yeah, I know what you're saying. Yeah, that's probably the thing you're right you could make a silent vacuum cleaner today but yeah there'd be this there'd be the suction feature that's going to be the brick wall yeah but it's a great idea yeah apparently dirty filters are often the cause of the vacuum cleaner making more noise because the motor's having to work harder to get the uh but the silent vacuum clearly i googled it almost like these kind of quieter ones but not dead silent vacuum cleaners yeah it's a game changer it's 20 why is there not

a dead silent vacuum cleaner i guess you've got those little robot vacuum cleaners that are pretty quiet those are the circular ones yeah because they don't make any noise really we're gonna have a story that lady my friend's mom so yeah, she had one, raved about it. Said it was the best thing ever. The robot vacuum cleaner does this great thing. You leave it, I go to work, it's great. Come home, the place is all sorted. And she didn't realise that the cat had done a bit of a mess.

Yeah, on number two. And so when she came home, it smeared all over the carpet. That thing had been working away, getting to all nooks and crannies of the house. Oh, that is worse than you stepping on and picking up dog poo, isn't it Ben? The good thing there was no dust on the floor. Look at the positive. Tested safe for listening from home.

Keep safe. And that's all I have to say. Thanks, Dr Ashley. Jono and Ben. New Zealand's breakfast. Now we commemorated this over the weekend. As we come on air, we have serious news of a major possible air crash in the United States. A plane appears to have crashed into one of New York's tallest buildings, the World Trade Centre.

Oh, yeah, 20 years since the 9-11 terrorist attacks that happened on September 11 in 2001. Just under 3,000 people sadly lost their lives. Thousands and thousands and thousands of families affected by that, the workforce affected by that all over the world, and someone who was directly affected by it joins us on the phone right now. Elias Canaris, thank you very much for coming uh coming on our show my pleasure thanks for having me you were affected I mean I guess the whole

world was affected by 9-11 but you were actually over there in the in the United States right yeah look I was flying from London Heathrow in the UK to Chicago O'Hare in the US when halfway through the flight we got diverted one ofoplanes that ended up in Gander International Airport. Honest truth is we had no idea what had happened, just that there was a significant incident in the USA. But at least we were told by the pilot, there's nothing wrong with the aeroplane. And that was reassuring.

So you ended up in Gander, did you say? Yes, indeed. Gander, where the heck is that? That's what most of us thought. It's in Newfoundland, which is an island province in Canada, the furthest east and the closest to, I suppose, mainland Europe. And a lot of planes which were flying that way got diverted across there. Yeah, right. And so how long were you grounded for? Ended up being 24 hours in the plane on the tarmac, and then we had a further four days courtesy of the Salvation Army until they finally allowed us to leave.

So you were 24 hours in the plane? Yes, indeed. Just sitting there? Oh, gosh, yeah. Wow. That is a long haul. And you feel for those with kids on there, too. That would have been the longest 24 hours.

Look, it's at times like that you're really pleased you're not, you know, an airline crew member having to look after us. They ran out of food. They almost ran out of water. But I have to say they're really good. They piped in the BBC World Service. They opened up the minibar service for us for free. It was pretty darn good.

Yeah, right. You can almost just open the plane door, get a bit of airflow through, just turn it into a party capsule. You know, that's exactly what happened. They did end up opening the door because the air con had failed. but then they gave us the instruction, do not leave the plane. It was about a 20-foot drop. Well, yeah, jeez, I'm looking at a picture, and it's just like a whole lot of planes all over the tarmac. So how many planes were just sitting alongside you? There was 37 other planes, including ours, 38, that landed in about a 90-minute period.

So Gander, the town, woke up that morning with a population of 9,300 for breakfast. By the time the 38 planes landed, they were 16,000 for supper. I mean, where is the emergency plan to deal with something like that? Yeah, I mean, I had my own plane crisis actually, Elias, over the weekend. I was trying to dot away to Wanaka, to my holiday home. I was an essential worker. I flew out of Hamilton and now I'm getting all grilled in the media. It's a nightmare.

But what was the initial reaction from you guys and all the fellow passengers as you're watching the coverage from the BBC about what was taking place in New York. But honestly, it was disbelief. That was the very first thing, as well as denial. A lot of us didn't understand how this could have happened and why somebody would want to do that. I mean, the whole effects in 9-11, it kind of changed the world in many ways, and we're all so affected by that.

The scenes that we all saw and the horrible images and the love that we wanted to send out to the world and try and make it right. But I imagine for you, having to be on a plane as well, it would have hit home a little bit harder to go, geez, I could have maybe been part of all this. Oh, you're so right about that, because what happened is it took me probably about three hours before I was able to use the air phone to connect with my wife back here in New Zealand. And I was just so grateful for the fact that I was able to do that. And then by the time we reboarded the plane five days later, we were told that there was a security breach on that particular flight. Really? There was a little hole on the floor, and somebody thought that they might have had

an additional terrorist on our flight who had stowed away a weapon. Thankfully, there wasn't. But when you have that, there's a lot of disbelief. Wow. So how long were you in Gander for? A total of four or five days. As I said, one on the plane, four at the Salvation Army. But I tell you what, it was so pleasing to come back home and sleep in your own bed

because when we were at the Salvation Army, all we had were little stretchers, cough beds that the Red Cross and the Army brought in, as well as sleeping on the pews. So having your own pillow makes a difference. Have you made any lifelong friends from that experience? Oh, indeed. We're still in contact on a regular basis. 20 years on, we've got a Facebook page together.

We put up a website called UA929.org. Not bad, eh? Let's see. Well, I mean, it's one experience that not everyone could share uh and no one else would probably understand unless you went through it yeah look uh all i can say is if there's a place to go through it i'd go through it again in gander and uh thanks to the people across there and the sallies who looked after us oh good on you elias canaris so thank you very much for your time this morning leading from the stop you got a new book out now which is uh how to make Your Way Forward After a Crisis, and it's available where?

It's available in all good bookstores. We've just got it on Amazon right now, but if you go to leadingfromthestop.com, we'll have all the details of where you can get hold of this good book. And you can email jeffbezos at amazon.com as well if you'd like a copy. Interesting guy. Three? No, I'm going to tell a a story now and you're going to be like oh i don't believe you like that time i said that i threw a basketball 90 meters children's basketball 90 meters about a roof and it gets longer every time you tell the story

bounce off a car and a little child's head and landed in a hoop 90 meters away he never believes that story no uh but what happened last night there was an incident well what i could only label a freak accident a freak incident with the dishwasher now we've got a dish drawer you know at home all right yeah pull out the not your fold down door situation it's destroyed now the problem with the dish drawer is that it sits at a height of like a you know in toddlers or you know kids are that age the perfect height where they could just run into you into your ghoulies you know it's a dangerous age it's a dangerous and this is the height of the dish drawer yeah so i've got into a habit of sort of when the drawer's out i kind of knock it in with my thighs.

Okay, just to push the drawer back in. Things are going on in the kitchen. My hands are busy. I'm like, yeah, I'm just kind of pushing it in with my legs. Now, the incident that happened last night was I had pyjama pants on. Now, under my pyjama pants, there wasn't a layer of protection. So I've... I think you've, yeah.

Let's just say there was more than one finished Powerball in the dishwasher last night. And they got almost just... So you pushed it in. I pushed it in and became trapped. And they kind of like, you can tell the doors like, this is unusual, and kind of bounces in, bounces back out. So it's just for a brief second that you just get the...

So you think I'm not going to believe this story? I don't think you, but it seems like one of those ones that you'd read on Ladbible, Julie. Yeah, my favourite story. Man, idiot man. Idiot man jams in the de-washer. The de-washer, okay. Yeah.

So that's what happened to me last night. And I thought, well, I'll bring this to bed. How can you prove this incident? Well, you can come to my house when the leveler allows. And I'll show you. I'll risk them again just to prove that this happened in the kitchen. My family didn't even believe me. When I was like, ouch.

And they're like, what happened? And I explained. And they're like, no, it didn't. And I was like, well, at least Ben will. Or he'll pretend to for the radio break. You wouldn't hear another story like it. I would like to fall for it. Are you feeling okay this morning?

Is it feeling okay this morning? It's like, you know. It's a little bit tender. Yeah, something's happened the day before, like a medical procedure or something, and you're kind of feeling the effects. Walking gingerly. Like full rinse cycle further. Or not, or just one of those.

They came out squeaky clean. You're essential listening for non-essential banter. I thought I was saying something meaningful there, and then I backed out. Jono and Ben, New Zealand breakfast. On your Monday morning, we find out this afternoon, around about four o'clock, I think, whether New Zealand will continue the current level settings

or whether things will change. Tell you what, no one is working harder through this whole thing than bloody Michael Baker. Dr. Michael Baker. Every time I turn on the television, he's being interviewed. We saw him on the BBC. Oh, no, he does a lot of interviews. He's never not being interviewed.

Yeah, he really has. Yeah, he's very busy through this whole pandemic, right? He is. Yeah, of course, you know, I was busy over the weekend too, mate. What were you doing, mate? You kind of get caught. Were you offering your expert opinion on how to? No, I wasn't.

I'm nowhere near as awesome as Dr. Michael Baker, that's for sure. But you do end up, you know, because you're in lockdown here in Auckland, so you kind of end up just doing stuff and you get caught in jobs you haven't done for ages. So we end up moving stuff around and tidying stuff up. I'm with you. But then I found a bag, one of my bags, one of my backpacks, and inside it was a present, a Christmas present that I was meant to send to friends of ours overseas. And the kids, my daughters have gone to so much trouble

because they're friends of the family. We'd stayed with them in Japan. Sienna, my daughter, had even gone to the trouble of translating from English into Japanese on the card as well. It's a lovely message for Christmas. These are New Zealand chocolate. A whole lot of stuff I was meant to post. Sentimental.

And I found it, and I was like, uh-oh, I haven't posted this. And I haven't admitted it to anyone else. Is this Christmas 2020? This is last year. Last year's Christmas. I found it now and I'm like, well, part of me is like, if I send it away now, it looks like we've got it nearly for this Christmas.

Ah. So surely that's an option, right? Yeah, I mean, when you're closer to the finish line than you are from the start line. Yeah. So you can sell it. Is there anything specific? The chocolate's like a spider thing.

Is there anything in the card that's specifically referencing, geez, tell you what, great year last year, we're all open up now, we're having a great summer here in New Zealand. Yeah, I need to go through and translate the card back into English to find out what she wrote. It's never going to go bad again. Yeah.

So, yeah, I'm going to put it. I'm like, oh, no. I felt so bad that I'd forgotten to send this away. Usually you're not the forgetful type. Yeah, I know. That's the thing. Usually you're the one having to remind me to bring things. Yeah.

And I was disappointed. I was disappointed in myself. I hadn't sent it away. Yeah. So I'm like, maybe I'll just send it away now and then they'll get it nice and early for Christmas this year. Yeah. What?

Expired chocolates? Thanks, mate. Is there any mould or dust on there? Okay, maybe not. Maybe I'll buy something new. Have you told the family? No. I haven't admitted it. You know the shame of when you're like, oh, no. And you know what's going to happen. You're going to get embarrassed.

Why didn't you send it? I know, I know. Well, I would have sent it, but I forgot. Yeah. There's no point in having those conversations. I know, I know. I know I messed up. would have seen it, but I forgot. Yeah. There's no point in having those conversations. I know, I know. I know I messed up, you know. I don't need other people telling me. I wanted to feel better this morning, so I thought I'd throw it out there. Oh, 800 the hits or 4487.

What have you forgotten? What's the little thing that you maybe have forgotten? Or a big thing that you maybe have forgotten just to make me feel a little better. I'm sure there's many out there. There's nothing quite like the thrill of forgetting an anniversary just to keep things spicy you know i'm sure many of those calls actually happen people forget oh yeah i have it tattooed on my arm the date as well and that's my god how'd you save it did you come not not good actually it's the day actually it's true yeah yeah we've talked about it have

you remembered it today yeah we did we did talk about it and go well let's do something when we're out of lockdown so we both gave ourselves a window to go hey let's plan something but then it might be one of those flim flams where i get home today and it's like hey i got you this the whole house is full of roses or something but you said that roses aren't essential yeah so hopefully it's not one of those days how did you come back when you forgot it oh there's no coming back for that there is no coming back for that no there's nothing there's nothing you can do yeah how was it informed that you'd forgotten oh it was the day after too oh yeah that was the worst thing so it wasn't even a chance to redeem yourself on the day i guess amanda, oh, maybe he's leaving it late.

Oh, maybe he's leaving it late. And I left it very late. Goes to bed grumpy. And then the next day I said, hey, you know what? Yesterday was. And I was like, yesterday. And then do you try and come up with excuses on the spot? You're like, oh, I had something planned, but then no.

Yeah, no, that's not it. Ben Boyce, I forgot to send a Christmas present last year to some dear friends in Japan and now he's just found that present over the weekend so I'm like I'm just going to send it away Does he fire off the expired box of roses? Maybe I'll update that

Maybe I'll update that Yeah Get some of those Those ones that are shaped like shells that are always so delicious Oh yeah Those ones Gullian Oh yeah, the Gullian.

Gullian. Oh, yeah, the old Gullian. Yeah, delicious. Beautiful chocolates. Anyway, what have you forgotten? Not always. I once forgot to pick up Annie and John from the airport. And they call.

And they're like, hey, how far away are you? And you're like, just on the motorway. And it's like that scene from The Simpsons, you know, when you just hear the motorway and it's like that scene from the simpsons you know when you just hear the door shut and the car screeching off yeah yeah so i've got to pick up my dear parents from the moment i forget a lot a lot of times i'll go to bed and i'll wake up in the morning and my wife jennifer has text me overnight because we go to bed earlier for this job you know and so i wake up in the morning with a whole bunch of text reminders of things that I need to do today. Put on your clothes, you know. Don't forget. Are you forgetting masks?

No, I'm pretty good with those, even by the car keys, so that's kind of handy. That's my, yeah. I'd be a shocking superhero if I was required to wear a mask. I always forget and turn up to the situation. Martin, you're on. How is Christchurch? You all right, mate? How's it all going, guys? Yeah, good. You're in normality in Level 2, and what have you forgotten? Actually, I'm the one that actually remembers every year. My wife forgets the anniversary of our first date every year.

Oh, she forgets the first date anniversary. Yeah, usually it's the woman that'll remember things like that, but for some reason, I'm the one every year, and I'm like, well, yep, flowers and a card. So you celebrate your wedding anniversary and the first date, too. This is the other thing. Well, the thing is our wedding anniversary is on the 26th of December, so we don't do Christmas and all that.

Ah, I see. No, fair enough. So you do the first date. Sometimes you get some bizarre, obscure anniversaries that people are required to remember, don't you? Well, Martin, I have a question. Shall we call her live and see if she remembers and the answer to that would be hell no okay all right great answer there martin wanting to keep his marriage alive yeah fair enough great play

there we got tina oh no under the hits uh tina what have you forgotten what's going on i got married in 2019 to my husband after we had a massive engagement at Ed Sheeran concert in Dunedin. Why was it a massive engagement? Because it was at Ed Sheeran's concert and I knew nothing about it. Oh, I thought he got Ed Sheeran to propose to you or something. No, unfortunately, Ed Sheeran didn't sing our song. Oh, what was the song?

What were you hoping for? How Would You Feel by Ed Sheeran didn't sing our song. Oh. What was the song? What were you hoping for? How Would You Feel by Ed Sheeran. Oh, good. Unless it was an Ed Sheeran one. I was like, sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond. Yeah, no, no, no. So it comes to the end of the conversation. He's sitting there with all our friends, and I'm oblivious to it.

And he came up to me and he said, oh, baby, Ed Sheeran didn't play our song. I said, it's OK. This was an amazing experience anyway. So it then turned out that he was about to play his last song, the most unromantic song Ed has, which is Sing. And then he got down on one knee and proposed to me in front of a whole crowd of people. And did everyone go, yeah?

We had quite a lot of publicity after it, yes. We were in the Woman's Day magazine. Oh, wow. We were on the radio station. A lot of publicity after it, yes. We were in the Woman's Day magazine. Oh, wow. We were on the radio station. A lot of New York reporters. That's incredible. What a proposal. Then I forget his ring.

His ring. I didn't take his ring, wedding ring, to our wedding when we were supposed to exchange rings. How could you forget the ring? Well, I thought my sister had it, who was my maid of honour. Apparently, my husband says we were too busy finding our cell phones and chargers. And so when the celebrant said, you now may exchange rings, were you panicked? I had the look of horror in my face. I just turned to my sister and went, oh, my God.

Turned to my guests. Then my celebrant said, I'm sorry, I forgot it. Everyone passed themselves off as things. People would have thought it was a joke and then maybe you were going to bring it out from somewhere. So you didn't have it. What happens in that situation? My celebrant asked all our guests who were watching if they had this spare ring.

He said, oh no, I've got this one on this hand, so why don't we try this? So we put the other one on his hand, and then my son-in-law, when we went to get our photos done, dropped into our house, picked up his ring, and we swapped it over. I thought you were about to go, and that's the day I married a celebrant at my own wedding. Well, that is a great story, Tina. Wonderful engagement. Bit of comedy at the wedding when it came to the ring.

Absolutely. Well-rounded. Nice work. Thank you for your call. You keep safe in Christchurch in Level 2. No worries. I kind of feel a little bit better about not sending away the package now. The wedding ring thing is quite a big thing to forget.

New Zealand's breakfast. This is Jono and Ben on the hits. Jono, welcome along to the show. It is Te Wiki o Te Reo Māori Language Week and today are Monday or Rāhine. There you go, or Mane. There's two ways you can say Monday in Māori and so Rāhine or Mane is the two ways you can do it. Jeez, that's a lot of information first off of that. We'll take our first day of the morning. We're getting straight into it. It's a Monday morning. Let's not muck around guys. Change the levels, open the borders, let's a Monday morning. Let's not muck around, guys. No. Change the levels, open the borders.

Let's get going. I just came to muck around, too. Yeah, same. Yeah, it's a lot to download at 604. It's a cake you'd love. Yeah, thank you, Ben. You're welcome. You're welcome.

Yeah, we've got a big show today. Speaking of a lot to download, we're going to New York before the hour is up. We're talking to a New York cab driver. The 20th anniversary of 9-11. Is this an anniversary? I don't know. We're commemorating that over the weekend, that fateful day. to a New York cab driver, the 20th anniversary of 9-11. They say anniversary. I don't know. Commemorating that over the weekend, that fateful day 20 years ago. Did you see some of the documentaries that were playing over the weekend on it?

Yes. I saw a lot of the news footage. It's still so sobering even today. It's surreal. The one at the moment, this is quite dark, they had the fire service and they were about to go up the tower and you could hear bang, bang and they're like, what's that? And there were bodies landing on the glass roof

above them. It was just like a constant sea of that noise and you're like, jeez. Your mindset, you're like, my only option is to jump out of this building now. Just terrifying. So we're going to talk to Pete the cabbie, New York cabbie in about half an hour.

We've got $5,000 up for grabs. That's happening again at 7.45 and a whole lot more. So enjoy your what? The Rahine. There you go. Rahine. There you go. Monday. It is that. Kia ora. I'm Rachel Jackson-Lees and this is the

B**** News. www has to offer. Yeah, you should see the amount of tabs I have under weird news sites. Alright, the first news story. Facebook unveils its first... I'm going to go Facebook unveils its first photo of legs and feet on a beach. I haven't seen any of those on Facebook before. I'm going to go Facebook unveils its first ever positive comment in a comment section under a Facebook post. It's never happened so far. That's very good.

Facebook unveils its first smart glasses. So it's in partnership with Ray-Bans, and it's quite interesting because at first I was like, this is a great idea, but then secondly I was like, actually this is a little bit weird. It's got two little cameras embedded into the frame of the lens, meaning that if you're at a concert or if you're at somewhere where you don't want to have to get out your phone, it captures videos and photos

while you're just looking at it through your glasses anyway. But then it's also like, if someone's wandering around wearing these glasses, you don't know if they're secretly filming you, which is a little bit concerning. You can also listen to music and take calls and the sunglasses are going for $300 each. So, you know, I'm not sure.

They're not as expensive as I thought they'd be, though. Yeah. $300 doesn't seem, you know. The pervert lenses. Yeah. It's up there with the drone. What are those drones doing up there, sifting around on top of the beach? Yeah, true.

But those glasses, do they look cool? They just look like your standard Ray-Bans. Really? Yeah, standard Ray-Bans, just black lens, black frame. You wouldn't know. Yeah. So if I was looking at you now, I could be filming everything right now.

Yeah, exactly. Apart from wearing sunglasses inside. So is weird. Why is he still wearing sunglasses inside? Who does he think he is? Is he Bono? All right, the next news story. TikToker makes

of Jason Derulo after he reached out to her. I'm going to say TikToker makes absolutely mockery of Jason Derulo after the poor guy reached out to her. Do you going to say TikToker makes absolutely mockery of Jason Derulo after the poor guy reached out to her. Do you know what? I have seen that.

I read this over the weekend. This is incredible. It's a life-size cake, right? TikToker makes life-sized cake of Jason Derulo after he reached out to her. You Google it. Have a look. I saw this actually on social media over the weekend.

It's incredible. It's crazy. It looks like Jason Derulo. I know. And it's it's crazy so basically it looks like jason and it's life-size too it weighs 100 kgs the cake total she's basically famous on tiktok for making life-sized cakes of things like dogs or people or characters um and so he wanted to do a video collaboration and she was like sweet and and it's incredible really yeah was it a cake it's a cake sitting on a bench he's like i like yeah oh my god he's on a cell phone he's talking on a cell phone it's incredible hey it's a whole thing as a cake

and it took her three days to make my i wanted to eat jason derulo up before this but now that is incredible yeah that is unbelievable yeah how long 100 kgs of cake yeah Yeah, yeah. One, I was stalking her Instagram and one of the cakes she's made is Spider-Man hanging upside down with no... And I'm like, how has she gotten that heavy cake hanging upside down

from like a web, you know, without it falling to the ground? It's incredible. They need to put that in the old bloody Woman's Weekly Birthday Cake. I want a Jason Derulo cake, Mum! Mum's like, oh God.

Mum's up for six months. And the final news story. Jeff Bezos funding anti-ageing venture aiming to make humans... I'm going to say Jeff Bezos funding anti-ageing venture aiming to make humans more and more creeped out by Jeff Bezos. I'm going to say he's aiming to make more and more humans look more like him and Jono. Jeff Bezos funding anti-aging venture aiming to make humans live longer.

So he's invested a lot of money into a company that aims to reverse aging. It's called Atlas Labs. And it seems like, you know, when you read that first, you're kind of like, well, that's not going to be possible. But they've got a Nobel Prize winning scientist on the the board there's heaps of money behind them the people like who are running the company have you know a good track record with businesses and stuff so it's how does it work like if i start taking it now will i just sit at this weathered old look for the remainder of my life or would i start reversing back to zero i'm not entirely sure a lot of the jargon in the article we went straight

over my head because of all the scientific words yeah but one or the other so you could either stay you know you could stay looking however you are now would you take it? Probably not. I would. Would you? That'd be fun. Yeah, well, I would like to see someone else take it, like you, so I could, you know, see what happens.

Yeah. Would you take it? Yeah, I don't know. It feels like very... It's very new technology. Yeah, it's new technology. Put me on, coach. You ready to go?

Slamming in my mouth. The thing is, though, but would you live for like another 50 years? Well, I would doubt it because you can't really force the body to live longer than it's destined to, right? It's probably just what you look like, I would say. Right. Yeah, the inside your heart and whatnot is going to deteriorate with time. The future is here. And that is the news and beeps for you.

Before 7 o'clock, we go live to New York, talking to a New York cabbie. All about 9-11, where he was on that day and what's happened over the weekend in the memorial services. We'll get to New York before 7 on The Hits. Ben and Jono call this show Jono and Ben. Breakfast on The Hits.

The Hets. Of course, we find out this afternoon if the levels are going to be changed or not. The experts are predicting not so much at the moment, but we never know. I'm going to go out there. Consistency is the key in my predictions. We're back to level zero. The whole country from this 11.59 tonight. All right.

Get ready, New Zealand. Back to normality on Tuesday. What a whole lot more vaccines from Denmark, I see as well Jacinda Ardern was saying, there's some more arriving from Denmark, so she's been wheeling and dealing all over the world, hasn't she? She has to, so the Spaniards, the Danes

she's playing them all off against each other we were talking about this the other day, does she like barter them off against each other? She's like, hey Denmark, Venezuela are offering me 50% off. Yeah, well, maybe. I did hear you say she even gets Pfizer even get involved as well

to help broker the deals as well. I guess they might. Maybe you can talk to these people. They might, you know. Maybe they get a cheeky little fee on top of that as like a real estate agent. It's like the ultimate trade me purchase, isn't it? And our prime minister's doing it.

A lot of her days probably spend online wheeling and dealing on the comments section. Good trade with Venezuela. Thumbs up. Good trade again. The show where the masks make them look a whole lot better. Can't save this battered up old face. It makes you beautiful.

Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast. It's been 20 years since the 9-11 terrorist attacks that happened September 11, 2001. As we know, the U.S. was targeted by airline hijackings that saw two planes fly into the Twin Towers building in New York City and another one by the Pentagon in Washington, D.C. As we come on air, we have serious news of a major possible air crash in the United States. A plane appears to have crashed into one of New York's tallest buildings, the World Trade Center. It's a cliche, too.

It's one of those things. You remember where you were when it happened. Juliet, you were probably in nappies rolling around your lounge floor. I was two years old, yeah. Two years old. Crazy to think it's been 20 years. And we're live to New York now

with Pete the cabbie, who's a cab driver in the city. What's it like over there at the moment? It's been 20 years, and we're live to New York now with Pete the cabbie, who's a cab driver in the city. What's it like over there at the moment? It's insane. The whole country has gone mad, politically, militarily, health-wise. What can I tell you? But you got your problems. You didn't call me to hear my problems.

Because, I mean, whereabouts were you when 9-11 happened? Well, I was in New York City, put on the telly, as you people might say, and I said, that's an interesting movie. I wonder who's starring in it. And I realized, holy mackerel, this is not a movie I'm watching. This is a real thing. And it became very apparent within a few minutes that we were at war with somebody. But the question was, you know, who were we at war with? And of course, panic swept the city because they didn't know how many planes were still floating around. As a matter of fact, you might remember, if you're old enough, that they grounded all the planes in the United States

just to kind of sort it all out. So it was an unbelievable event. And you had 10 million people who were desperately trying to get out of New York City. It was quite a day. And of course, the big topic of conversation always was, where were you and what happened to you? And this and the other thing. Now, we got extra significance this year because of the screw up in Afghanistan. Because, you know, here we're in a situation where supposedly we're getting out of that war, and the thing turned into a worse fiasco. So everybody is upset, bothered. And I guess I haven't seen this much venom in my entire life.

Oh, there's a lot of anger at the moment. Well, they think that Biden screwed up by the way we got out of Afghanistan. But the fact is that 50% of the people hate the guy and 50% love the guy. And that's the same thing as we had with Trump. Just a country right now that is very divided. So instead of enjoying, and I don't really mean enjoy, but instead of having this 20th anniversary as an anniversary, you got people who are diverting a lot of their time to the anger and what's going on in Afghanistan.

Right. Well, I saw over the weekend Biden and Obama and Bill Clinton, a few presidents at a big memorial service. Was that at Ground Zero where the Twin Towers were? Yeah, it was. So there were ceremonies. And what they do is they read off the names of all of the 3,000 people that died in that thing. And you can imagine, you know, the background to that. But think of this. You've got people who are thinking of, what did I do that day?

What happened that I did that day? And now we've walked out of Afghanistan, and we got, hmm, is that right? Is that wrong? But it wasn't even a normal Memorial Day with everybody moaning and bitching about the departure from Afghanistan. Because I was watching a doco, actually, and it was kind of pieced together, point-of-view footage and coverage from people who were using their phones that day.

And it was just an amount of, just people just couldn't believe what was happening. And they were trying to escape the city, but all the subways were shut down. There was no transport out of the city. It must have been absolute chaos. Oh, it was completely. And sort of like I'd say to you, didn't we see this science fiction movie? This can't really be happening. This is a movie. And I remember later in the day, I went down there because there's some people from the BBC that wanted to get into that area. I took them into the area. And, you know, as we stood there,

you remember, this is literally hours after it happened. You had a feeling that you were looking at a science fiction movie. I closed my eyes and kind of turned myself around a full circle, figuring that when I opened my eyes again, everything would be back okay. You know, it was just an illusion. So it was hard to believe. And even today, I mean, of course, it just doesn't look real either because, remember, it's all brand new. So it is an insane thing.

So we've got Pete the Cabbie joining us live from New York City. How much did New York change after that incident? You know, I could imagine airline travel changed through the world, but it must have changed a whole lot in your city. Well, initially, everybody loved everybody else. But New York is a very, very friendly town. A lot of people don't realize it. Have you guys been here?

Yeah, I've been to Ground Zero, and that's a really sobering moment to see where the buildings were. I mean, New Yorkers are very special people. Initially, it was lovey-lovey, kissy-kissy. Now everybody's pretty much back, you know, to the way things were before in terms of your attitude and the way you deal with people. But remember, you got a lot of people very angry about the Afghanistan thing. You got a lot of people upset about the pandemic, which of course you have also. Hey, by the way, what else is new? I'll tell you what else is new. We're watching your television.

It seems that all the mysteries that we're now getting on the telly take place in New Zealand. What mysteries have we got? What are you watching over there? Lelena, do you know the name of the New Zealand movie? What's she know? I wonder what's over there. It's about some cops in New Zealand. I wonder if it's...

Police Team 7. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. Remember, we look upon you as a paradise. No, no, but when I was a kid, if you wanted to get away from the world, you'd go to New Zealand. That's right, it's a great place to hide. Yeah, or make a move. Yeah, right. No one's going to look for you down here. Yeah, no crime, you have no trouble. Yeah, well you're more than welcome to move down here if you want,

Pete. I don't remember giving you guys permission to come to New York. When did that happen? Hey, Pete the cabbie, listen, thank you so much for your time this morning. Sounds like mixed emotions at the moment over in New York on the 20th anniversary. It is mixed emotion. It's everything. It's all mixed emotion. Yeah, well, you keep safe over there, and thank you very much for your time.

Yeah, don't be a stranger. Cool. Spy, the WhatsApp spy.co.nz. Now to our keen, mean celebrity machine, who actually she's not that mean, and on a Monday morning I don't know how keen she is either. But she's here to do some spy. What's happening, Ju? So you may have seen over the weekend,

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck made their first red carpet appearance for the first time in 18 years together. 18 years. Long years. And a big smooch on the red carpet too. Oh, wonderful. For the Venice Film Festival.

So they looked very glamorous. Extremely happy as well. And everyone was just living for it on social media. Because we've seen, you know, paparazzi photos. It was actually really cool. I saw it in People Magazine, I think, put on their social media. And I was like, it looked awesome. It looked incredible.

I know. The whole thing looked, yeah. I was like, that's really cool. I reckon they're just like the Hollywood couple, apart from Taika and Rita, or of course. Because he's kind of had a bit, you know, like we have the ombre puts, you know, people kind of like made fun of him

for a few of his like demons and stuff. So it was actually awesome to see, you know. Yeah, totally. He has had a bit of a rough life as well. So it's nice to see him, you know, coming out on top again. And I think Gwyneth Paltrow, who used to date him, gave the tick of approval as well.

Oh, really? Nice. And Jennifer Garner, who he used to be married to, I think they share a kid together, is very supportive of him as well, which is great to see. All of his ex-partners. Yeah, they love it. Tick seals of approval.

They love it. That's what you want within your relationship. You want to make sure all your exes are cool with it. I know. Or jealous of it. One of the two. I just feel a little bit bad for A-Rod. Like A-Rod, her ex-fiancee,

who she moved on very quickly to Ben Affleck with. I'm like, oh, the poor dude will be seeing them having a smooch on the red carpet. You'd feel a bit bad for her. Hey, listen, mate. Do not worry about A-Rod. A-Rod's going to be just fine. His lips will be attached to something.

Yeah, that's true. That's true. And in other news, Ed Sheeran, gosh, he seems like a bit of a character that I want to be friends with. So he's revealed that he's getting a six-foot-tall marble... Jeff Bezos space rocket. Yeah, that's a good way of putting it. Yeah, you were trying to figure out how to do this story, weren't you? Yeah, I was like, how do I tiptoe around the actual, you know?

Go Google Jeff Bezos' space rocket. It's not a space rocket, but it's the same sort of shape. Yeah, it looks like that. So he's gifting a six-foot-tall marble, one of those, to Sam Smith as a present. And in the past, he's also given Elton John one of them as well. And the reason for this is because there's one of them sitting in Ed Sheeran's local pub. So when people come to Ed Sheeran's house and they go to the pub, they see it there and Ed's like, oh, and Sam Smith said that he was like, oh, I want that.

And Ed's like, oh, get one made for you. I've already done it for Elton. And so that's his thing for Sam Smith. Six foot's quite an inconvenient one too, isn't it? Yeah. Elton said that he had to hide it in a place where people... I was going to say, when your bum comes over, you're going to have to hide the...

I know. Kids, can you move the six foot? I know. But do you remember the story about Ed Sheeran ordering leather gimp masks for Courtney Cox through Alexa? He loves a prank gift, doesn't he? Yeah. It's very good.

I want to be friends with him. You'd have to have it on wheels, wouldn't you? So it was transportable. Yeah. Attach some wheels to it. Yeah, totally. And made of marble too. Very heavy.

A lot of logistics. It's a lot toable. Yeah. Attached some wheels to it. Yeah, totally. And made of marble too. Very heavy. A lot of logistics. That's a lot to handle. Yeah. And that is your Spy Update for this morning. For more, you can head to thehits.co.nz. After seven o'clock on the show, we've got five grand up for grabs with our game we play every morning. Five words for 5K.

That's at 7.45. Mmm. Coffee breath. Jono and Ben. The Hits. Well, it's just gone 7.26 on your Monday morning, as you just heard with Rachel Jackson-Lee's. Wild weather moving up the country from the south towards the north.

About 1,000 properties around the Canterbury region are without power, and they're working the weather's going to be getting really bad around Wellington today. I was heard on the radio this morning, tie your trampolines down was one of the things. Tie your trampoline down sport? Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, like around the the radio this morning, tie your trampolines down was one of the things. Tie your trampoline down sport? Yeah. Yeah.

Wow. Yeah, like around the Wellington region this morning because it sounds like it's going to be really bad. Have you ever had a trampoline fly out of the... No, I can imagine it'd be frightening, wouldn't it? Inconvenient if it lands in your yard. You're like, oh, where's this come from? Like, you don't know...

But is that yours? Like, in the rules of the law, is that... Yeah, position's... A tramp landed in there from the last? But it could cause a lot of damage, though, a tramp, a flying tramp. Yeah, I mean, you could end up with... I mean, you saw the house of the Wizard of Oz. Yeah.

I mean, that thing in the air, that killed the Wicked Witch, but, you know, a tramp. True, you could end up with six in your backyard and start a trampoline park, like jump or something. You were saying your mate's house got struck by lightning in Wanaka. Yeah, yeah, she was in Wanaka last night because there's heaps of wild weather down there at the moment. Yesterday it was beautiful up north, up in Auckland. But, you know, you kind of forget that everyone else in the country has different weather.

And so she sent Snapchats of her just sitting on the couch and there's lightning, lightning, lightning. And then, bam, got struck her house. She's like, I just tried to escape Auckland. Have a nice little getaway in my holiday home. And I get struck by lightning. Not her. It actually frizzles the whole house. Really?

All the electrics. Yeah, if you get struck by lightning. I suppose it makes sense. Yeah, TV, everything. You name it. Name something. Clock radio. Gone.

I don't know why you're still using clock radio, but you're doing it old school. I need you all night. Come on, but you're doing it old school. Julepa levitating, it is the hits. Jono and Ben, from time to time we get my daughter Sienna to make some funny calls for us. She makes some phone calls because we're too lazy to do it, aren't we? Yeah, she's our adorable little 12-year-old pranking machine. And we get to live out our childish pranking ways through your daughter, Ben Boyce. And yeah, a couple of weeks ago, before lockdown,

we got her to call the baby factory to see if she could return her baby brother. Good morning, welcome to the baby factory. Michelle speaking. Hi, my name is Sienna and I'm 11 years old. Can I please return something to your store? Did you want to come into the store? Yes, please. Can I return my baby brother?

You returned your baby brother? Yeah, he's really new and he's a real pain in the bum. He's crying all the time. It was a lot more fun at home before he came along. It's pretty hard being a big sister, isn't it? It's a big responsibility, darling. I love that lady. Can I apologise?

I said your daughter was 12, not 11. I'm a shocking godfather. That's fine. Yeah, so we can't obviously get Sienna into the studio right now because we're in lockdown, so she joins us on the phone. Good morning, Sienna. How are you? I'm good.

How are you guys? Listen, you sound so sprightly and too alert for a Monday morning and especially one with lockdown. How's it going for you, homeschooling? I'm going pretty well, just doing schoolwork and just hanging out at home. You're designing, like, if you could come up with a new attraction at Disneyland, what would your attraction be? And I was like, man, where was this sort of stuff when I was at school?

This sounds fun. I was getting quite involved in this. Filler content. If you could come up with a new attraction at school. This sounds fun. I was getting quite involved in this. Filler content. If you could come up with a new attraction at Disneyland. You know, the Imagineer. Imagineer, your own theme park, your own thing. Do you want to come up with Tomorrowland? You know, you come up with your own little section.

What would it be? Be your own. And what NCEA credits does that get you? The Disneyland project. What have you come up with? I've come up with, you know know, Shrek's sheep, the sheep that ran off for like six years. Oh yeah, the world famous New Zealand sheep.

The iconic sheep, yeah. Yeah, so I'm doing it about like his land and like a ride about how he goes off and like his journey around New Zealand. So basically the ride is you're following Shrek, we've kind of elaborated on it a wee bit, you know, maybe he's gone through he has to travel through the mountains, he has to travel through the mountains,

he has to travel through the forest, he has to travel his way back to try and find his way back to the flock and that's the ride that it takes you on. Is it associated with New Zealand? Yes. With sheep in New Zealand, like internationally. But it's a pleasure to see the character you can see the merch with Shrek the sheep

there's a sheepdog friend that's part of the... It's already brand... We're brand damaged with sheep. I'm like, this is a Disney movie waiting to happen. You know? But anyway, we got you on this morning, Sienna, because we're going to play something we recorded with you just before lockdown.

We actually got you to call our lawyer at work. Do you remember doing this weeks ago? Oh, yeah. She's like, vaguely, I guess. This was our fill of content The school's doing the Disneyland thing We're doing this It's called The Lawyer

Remember and you wanted to sue your parents for everything they've got Oh yeah I remember that one Now it's ringing the bell To be honest we vaguely remember it too But we can all relive these fun memories right now Yeah when we called The Lawyer Who works upstairs for us at the radio station.

Hello, Ashley speaking. Hi, are you a lawyer? I am a lawyer. Good, because I'm a big fan of the TV show Suits. Anyway, my name is Sienna and I need to lawyer up to help me sue my parents for everything they've got.

Sounds good, I'm in. So first of all, they keep making me go to bed so early. That sounds really unfair. I know. Plus, when me and my sister are in the back seat, we're making noises. They threaten to turn the car around and go home. This causes me emotional distress. We can definitely get some damages for that. I would like adequate compensation for the damages caused. I'm thinking a million dollars would be fair.

I think we should start at two and negotiate from there. Okay. When can you start working on my case? Do you work for free? Pro bono? I think we might need to discuss that. Jeez, Ash, it's John Owen being calling here from downstairs. How you doing? I'm we might need to discuss that. Jeez, Ash, it's Jono and Ben calling here from downstairs. How you doing? I'm good, how are you? You're very agreeable. You'll take any case.

I will at this time. Things are tough out there in the lawyer game. You've got to take work when it comes. I have a mortgage in Auckland, guys. Alright, well, it sounds like you guys have got a good little case building there. Yeah. Well, that was privileged, so I might have scrapped from the record.

Oh, sorry, you're not allowed to, oh, that's client, lawyer, confidentiality privilege thing, right? Hey, Sienna? Yes? Are you actually going to see your father? Because this would be great right now. Oh, yeah, that's me right now. That's you, yeah.

Yeah, I didn't even think about that. Look at you laughing. You're laughing along. Come on. Pay up. How much did you want? $2 million. Shit, $2 million.

Hey, but I heard the $2 million. They're ready to settle for $1 million, so maybe I'll go with that. Let's talk offline. You might want to get some representation now. I don't know what this has turned into. Ash, can you represent me and Sienna, or do I have to get someone else? That is a gross breach of ethics, and I'm going to choose Sienna in this one. Oh, jeez.

Oh, God. We've got $5,000 up for grabs. It could be yours. That'd be a great way to start your week. That's very shortly on The Hits. Five words for 5K on The Hits. You're only five words away from a massive payday. Our Game of Word Association, we do it every morning on the show.

If we connect all five words with the same words that you say, you win $5,000. What up, Anne? How are you in Wellington? Hey there. Good to have you on. Anne, you sound like a bundle of joy. I'm trying to be. Yeah, a lot of joy.

In the pouring Wellington weather. Oh, yeah. It's meant to be really rough. Some high winds coming through your way today. Yeah, it's not nice. Unexpected for Wellington high winds. Very unusual. Yeah, no get there.

What do you do, Anne? I'm a receptionist at a radiology company. Oh, wow. Heading to work now? Yep. Stopping off to talk to your boys, J&B. Try and win a cheeky 5K. That's the way.

Hey, are you vaccinated? Yes, of course I had to be. I'm an essential class, essential worker. Yeah, well, we're going to stab a needle into your arm and the side effects are having to spend a mountain load of cash right now, Anne. Let's see who you want to chuck into the soundproof booth to match five words with. I think you, Jono. Okay.

Godspeed, Hans, hopefully. He's making his way to the soundproof booth. We've got that in the corner of the studio. So he won't be able to hear anything that we're about to say. He's locked in in there. And here we go, Anne. We've got that in the corner of the studio, so he won't be able to hear anything that we're about to say. He's locked in in there. And here we go. Anne, the first word this morning, what pops into your head when I say Spongebob?

Squarepants. That's exactly what I was thinking, Producer Julia. Yep. If you had anything different, I'd be concerned. Collar is the second word. C-O-L-L-A-R, collar. Shirt. Oh, shirt.

There's a couple of options for collar, but that's a good one. Shirt. Collar shirt. Trimmer is the third word this morning. Trimmer. T-R-I-M-M-E-R, trimmer. Oh, there's a few for that too. What about hedge trimmer or bed trimmer? Oh, both are options.

Now you've got to pick, Anne. You've given yourself two great options. I'll go hedge trimmer. Hedge trimmer. Okay. Yoga. Word number four this morning. Yoga.

Yoga, yoga, yoga. I'm thinking either hot yoga or exercise. Both. Very good options, Producer Juliette. It's nodding away in the corner. I love yoga. I'm thinking either hot yoga or exercise. Both. Very good options, Producer Juliette. It's nodding away in the corner. I love yoga. Yeah. What about, I don't know if John would know about hot yoga.

He doesn't seem like the hot yoga type, does he? He doesn't seem like the hot yoga type, does he? No. Okay, I'll go exercise. He might have heard of it, though, but he might have heard of it. I mean, you know. Surely. I wouldn't think he would have taken part in it, but he's, you know it. I mean, you know, I wouldn't think he'd taken part in it,

but he's, you know, he does know about these things, so I don't want to believe you. Yeah, maybe. Okay, say hot yoga. All right, okay, we'll see how we go with that one. And funeral is the final word this morning. Funeral. Parlour.

Parlour. Oh, Anne, you did, I think you did really well with some tricky words that have many options, and I'm waving at Jono to come out of the soundproof booth, and we'll see if all five connect. Here we go, guys. Soundproof booth. Lorde recorded her new album in that soundproof booth, did you know? Did she?

Fun fact. I didn't know that. Hey, Anne, what would you spend 5K on, I was thinking, while I was in there? Well, I don't, I'm actually, I might do some stuff around the house, or give some money to my kids who are looking to buy houses in a ridiculous market. Oh, what a love. What a selfless act.

And that's what we've come to expect from Anne. A great human being. I also said I might spend it on me, Jono. Yeah, right. Just trying to look like a good person. Good on you, Anne. All right, first word I said to Anne this morning was Spongebob. Square pants.

Not mucking around there, are you? Here we go, Anne. All right, here we go. Collar was word number two, collar. Now he's mucking around. Now I'm mucking around. That's all right. Started with confidence.

Dog, collar. That's a good one. That was a really good thought there, Jonah, but not the right one. And that was a groan of celebration. Yeah, it was. I'm sorry. Why did you go? Shirt.

Of course. I'm sorry. I think your dog collar was a good one as well. Yeah, it was. I'll give him that. Sometimes I go to Ben's house, he's wandering around in a leather collar. He's been dragged around. I don't know what that's all about, but anyway.

It's your normal, really, isn't it? We have trimmer. It was word number three. Petrol line trimmer. Yoga was the fourth word this morning. Bikram yoga. We debated. Have you heard of hot yoga?

I've heard of hot yoga. We did debate whether you'd heard of it or not. That's what Anne said. And funeral was the fifth word this morning. Service? Oh, God. That was dreadful. You weren't dreadful, Anne.

It's all on me. Okay? I'm so sorry, Anne. That's all right, Jono. Your children will continue to live homeless. Hey, Anne, have a great day. Lovely talking to you and keep safe with the wild weather. Thank you, guys. Have a good day. Love Anne, have a great day. Lovely talking to you and keep safe with the wild weather. Thank you guys, have a good

day. Love you Anne. Spy, the what's up? Spy.co.nz She didn't choose a life of ragging on celebrities, it chose her. And Juliet's here with Spy, what's going on? So a Kiwi film director, Jane Campion, has taken out Best Director at the

Venice Film Festival for her film The Power of the Dog. Now, I'd like to cast your mind back to maybe when the pandemic first started and we had Benedict Cumberbatch and Kirsten Dunst living in New Zealand. That's right, yeah. Do you remember that? I do, yeah, I do. And we really, really went into a deep hole of trying to figure out

where Benedict Cumberbatch was staying by looking at a bookshelf that was in a photo behind him. That's right, someone found it on an Airbnb and was like, that was it, that's the bookshelf. I think it was in Hawke's Bay we narrowed it down to. Why did we want to find out where Benedict Cumberbatch was staying? I think we were lying. God, guys, we are coming off way too strong. He would have been creeped out by that.

I know. He would have been like, I'm creeped out by it, not even me. He would have been like, I'm just going to leave now and never come back. Yeah, so that film that they were working on has debuted at the Venice Film Festival and the director, Kiwi director, Jane Campion, has won for Best Director, which is a really, really good sight for the future. A, because the Oscar nominations haven't come out yet. They come out in February.

But it's a good kickstart for her, I reckon. And it's going to be released on Netflix on the 1st of December, but also in cinemas at the end of November. She's a wonderful director, Jane Camp, who did the piano as well. It feels like one of those movies I'm going to pretend and tell everyone that I've watched, so

I seem more sophisticated than I am. I know. That's kind of what happens when, especially when the Oscars come out and all the big banger films win Best Picture and Best Director, but a lot of them you haven't actually really seen. No, but you just pretend you have. Yeah. You act like you have, that you're in the know.

You do. But really you're just watching Talladega Nights. I was researching a little bit more about Jane and it was quite interesting. She wants to start up a pop-up film school in New Zealand that is free for students and she's already spoken to Netflix to get funding for it.

So if you don't have the money to go forward with your passion in film, it doesn't matter. You can still learn how to get into the film industry. What a wonderful way to give back to the industry. I know. Very good. What are you going to give back to this industry, mate? I don't know. Do they want me to give anything back?

Just your swipe card. Yeah, probably. That's it, yeah. That TVNZ one they gave me that says Ben Joyce. They want their back now, mate. You're done. And a BBC documentary is coming out focusing on the life of Prince Philip with William, Harry and other royals talking about his life.

He's always been a huge presence behind everything we've done, really. What you see is what you got with my grandfather. He was unapologetically him. You never really prepare yourself for losing him because he was always there. We were lucky to have him for nearly 100 years. So that documentary, it was actually originally created to celebrate what would have been his 100th birthday. And so they were working on it while he was still here.

And so they've turned it now into sort of more of a celebration of his life now that he's gone. And so that's coming out next week, which is very cool. What are they doing? They just pixelated Andrew's face, have they? Put on one of those. This random person. Oh dear. I love doing that.

Yeah. So that's very nice that they're doing that. What a wonderful way to celebrate his life. And you know, he did just lead his life as he was. I feel like he was a very authentic person. Don't you respect people like that? Yeah. You watched The Crown.

You watched a bit of The Crown earlier and seeing him when the Queen and him got together. I know The Crown's not 100% fat. Accurate. But you do still see a side of him that you're like, well, how his life was changed and having to confirm and what he was like and having to deal with his wife no longer pretty much not seeing her at all because she's away on all these functions. Yeah.

It wasn't what he sort of signed, I guess, signed up for in some ways because she wasn't even going to be queen. No, yeah. And his life was dedicated to making sure she was, you know, the front runner and supporting her, which is crazy. Oh, they were just the sweetest old couple, weren't they? I sweetest old couple weren't they oh when she's alone at his funeral have you seen that have you seen that clip where she uh that's thing and there's cows that come in and she gets really excited as she points to cows she's never seen the queen so animated

i'll show it to you afterwards the queen i'll put it on our story the queen getting excited by cows is a wonderful sign. It's very good. And that is Spy. For more, you can head to thehits.co.nz. It's paparazzi. It is the Hits. Jono and Ben. Now, we've got a TV show.

It's on TVNZ, too. It's called Good Sports. Thursday night's 8 o'clock. You can catch up on TVNZ On Demand. We go around New Zealand and we catch up with good sports that play unique, unusual sports. Last week there was lawnmower racing. There was a lady that did strong woman competitions. And we also took part in a chilli eating competition.

Scott's Bonner, 150, 200,000 scovilles. Oh, Jesus, these are big. Are we ready? No. Oh, hell is burning in my mouth. Oh, we've going to man down. Man down. Man down.

I was down all right. I want to get a bit of publicity for the show. We're not on buses or bus stops around the country or billboards or anything like that, so we're working to get the show publicised. That's what you've got to do. You've got to hustle on this, Gaves. Yeah, but this latest idea involves New Zealand's toughest critic, this man, Michael. PC bollocks driven by a PC media. Self-absorbed venal narcissist.

Do you suspect anyone above the age of six could not have already worked that out? Not in the false game, but if anyone wants... Well, you should be, because you failed us. Cheap, superficial, hopelessly disorganised. What was he? A disaster. You're only doing this because you were caught out yet again? They are single-issue nutters. She's made her call and she can live with that. I don't want her back. So we've got a bit of an idea. You know, get some extra press out of it, a bit more street talk.

Ben, this is one of your ideas, one of your harebrained ideas that I'm forced to come along with. Oh, hey, well, it's good exposure. If it comes off, if we can get ours talked about, if we can get an interview on the biggest radio show in the country, that's great, right? But you're also wanting him to review it as well. Yeah, well, that's the risk.

That's the downside, that he may not think of the show favourably. Yeah. Now, Mike Hosking, on the Mike Hosking Breakfast on Newstalk ZB, we're sitting at, what, number 18, I think, on the list? Oh, no, 36 or something, maybe. 36, he's number one. He's number one. I don't think he's even heard of this,

and we're in the same building. But, Mike, he's known as New Zealand's harshest critic behind everyone on the internet comments section. Yeah, well, true. Yeah, you're right. If he's got a problem, mainly with the Labour government, I mean, you'll hear about it, right? Yeah.

And so, I know it's putting us out there, but they do say, well, they say something about publicity, good publicity, something, don't they? You need publicity. Bad publicity is good publicity. I don't know. You need publicity. But I don't really. I kind of feel like bad publicity is bad publicity.

Tell that to Susie Wiles. All right. So we're going to go through to Newstalk ZB boss, Jason Winstanley, and see if there's any chance of maybe appearing on the Mike Hosking Breakfast. What, Thursday? Oh, it'd be nice on the day of the show. Jono and Ben, good sports. Top of mind, front of mind. 8 o'clock tonight, you can check it out, yeah.

TVNZ2. Hello, Jason speaking. Hello, Jason speaking. Jono and Ben speaking. Oh, g'day, boys. How are you? We're doing well, mate. Listen, it's a legal obligation to inform you that you're on the radio now

Oh ok On a 16th rating show You might not have gone down that low No, and that's a move up from last time So things are clearly on the way up Now of course you are the big boss At Newstalk ZB We've got a bit of a proposal for you Jason

We've got a new TV show on. It's John Olmend Good Sports, Thursday nights, 8pm, TVZ2. This is where you go and watch the last week. It was great, but... Okay. Okay. Can we just, you just come in and say

you saw it last week, guys. It was great. No, I didn't see it last week. No, no. You just say I saw it last week. It was great. That's all you need to say. I watched last week, guys. It was great. No, I didn't see it last week. No, no. You just say, I saw it last week. It was great. That's all you need to say. I watched Treasure Island, though. That was really good. Yeah, it was good, wasn't it?

Okay, well, we wanted to get on the biggest radio station and the biggest radio show in the country, the Mike Hosking Breakfast. So we wanted to know what it would take to get Mike to do an interview with us about a TV show and maybe have him review the show at the same time. Over to you. I'm taking that as a yes.

Look, I will be completely honest. I'm the boss, but I actually have very little control over what I can suggest. But normally the things I suggest most of my team, including Mike, go, yeah, whatever, in the bin with that. Right, okay. I would love to help you boys out, but you probably need to talk to Mike about that. Okay.

Now, the question I have for Ben, too, is can he handle the truth from an exceptionally well-dressed man in a Giorgio Armani tweed jacket and some Gucci pants? Can you handle the truth, Ben? I don't know if I can, to be honest. He's going to give it to you. Yeah. Are you sure? Are you sure?

I mean, you know the kind of TV shows Mike's into, right? Well, I can only just about imagine what sort of TV shows he... Well, he likes Clarkson's thing. What's that thing on Amazon Prime? Oh, it's Farm. Yeah, the Clarkson thing. He loves that. He loves Top Gear.

Yeah. Oh, there was lawnmower racing in it. I mean, maybe that's a sweet spot, mate. He's got Secret Fountain of Coronation Street big on the Coro Street. Oh, is he? Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

How about, like, could we send up a copy of the first episode for Mike to have a look at? And if he deems it's worthy of a chat, I'm making this up as I go along but if he deems it worthy of a chat on Thursday he does it but if he doesn't uh we just have to call him and he says off air he just says no not good enough how's that sound yeah look I can I can get it to him and tell him that you boys rang and that you're keen for them to have a look. Yeah. This doesn't sound favourable, I can't. Just tell them it's coming from the guys who Jacinda still

talks to. I'll include that. That's not going to help us. That's a wonderful comment, but it's not going to help us. You could always buy some advertising. Buy some advertising. That's not a bad idea. St You could always buy some advertising. Oh, buy some advertising. That's not a bad idea.

Stato, thank you very much for your time. We'll take your advice. Flick me that link and I'll get him to have a listen. We'll find out. Okay, here we go. We're all in this together. Will Mark Hosking watch our show? What will he think?

And will we get on Newstalk ZB this week to talk about Jono and Ben Goodsports Thursday night, TVZ2, 8pm? We'll find out. It is the hits. Want more Jono and Ben Good Sports Thursday night, TVZ2 8pm. We'll find out. It is the Hits.