Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: Introducing... The Face Masked Singer!

Episode Date: November 1, 2021

Don't tell The Masked Singer, because we did our own version. But with face masks... We had a famous singer with a face mask on the phone and we had to guess who they were through their muffled voice! Jono also tried to channel the youth with his own take on one of the new vaccination ads... Interesting. Finally, we did Monday Memorabilia Madness and chatted some more about the bizarre memorabilia you own. Enjoy the show!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. It's the podcast intro, Ben. This is on our to-do list every day after the show.

It's the first thing we write up there. Don't forget to do the podcast intro. There's been the odd occasion where we have and you wanted to record a generic vague one for those moments. Yes, but we haven't done that. It's almost like for Aaron who loads in the podcast, you know, like one of those break glass

in emergency situations sort of thing. You know, this is the time to break the glass. I mean, there's been, I think probably two occasions we've been driving home and you get a text going, hey, did you guys do the podcast intro? And you're like, how did we forget to do the thing that we're meant to do every day? It's like putting on a pair of trousers. Why don't we record a generic one now for this podcast intro?

Oh, yeah. But you can also be using it in the future. So, yeah. So my idea was just, well, let's do it. Let's go. Okay. Hey, guys. It's Jono and Ben here.

If you're listening to this, this means we've forgotten to do a podcast intro. But what a day. What, are you blaming it on something? Nightmare. What, you're just saying words. Not full sentences, just little things. Surgery. So you can use this as the intro.

We've created a generic one, like a little... Well, let's go with some generic topics. In case of emergency, this is the podcast one you should use. So sorry about this, but hey, this is a great intro. Okay, well let's talk about stuff that'll always, that'll age well. How's your mouth been? Still functioning? Yeah, functioning okay at the moment. Yeah. Your mouth, it's not often that when someone's talking you just concentrate on their mouth. So you talk and I'll just look at your mouth. Okay, I'm talking away for you. What's that?

You move your lips nicely. Thank you. You've got nice moving lips. You're not so bad yourself. Yeah, thanks. Yeah. The news. Oh, how about that news lately?

Yeah. Yeah, big, big, big news, eh? Local sports team? Yeah, they've been gone, gone, yeah, or, you know, mixed, you know, but, you know, some good, some bad, you know, just good and local. Sometimes even. Yeah. Sometimes when they go even, yeah.

With the ball? Yeah, the ball. How about when that's part of it? Sometimes the racket that they involve. Yeah. Oh, yeah. They're supporting merchandise. Yeah.

Yeah. Music. Music is good, yeah. I mean, you know, it know make you feel a lot of things can't it yeah i like music do you like music i'm indifferent do you know what i like to do at the end of the day i like putting on the tv and just watching something you know just something you know it doesn't matter what it is don't need to name what it is just like to watch it i mean the show that everyone's talking about right now sometimes i put that on yeah other times i Other times I watch something else that, you know, something a bit obscure that only I

know about, but I don't want to let other people know what I'm watching. That's right. Yeah. And I mean, there's streaming services. Hmm. Aren't there? Feels like there's another one new every day. There could be a new one today. Yeah. I mean, there could be. That's, you know. That's the one I'm watching because I'm up to date. Yeah, so there you go. I reckon that went well. It went well. So there you go, Aaron. You've got today's podcast, which is that. That's the intro.

But also to be used in a case of emergency. Situation. Yeah, and that's a little Easter egg for those who listen to the podcast. If you hear that, you'll be like, oh, J&B dropped the ball today. Dropped the ball today. If it's tomorrow, you guys are a bit of a shocker. Anyway, how was the weekend? It was good. It was good.

Everyone's sick of hearing about Auckland banging on about lockdown and stuff like that, but it was different to do Halloween and lockdown. But you know, it is what it is. What did you dress up as? Didn't you spend an exorbitant amount of money on some cartoon characters? Yes, Monsters, Inc. characters. With the blow-up

fans inside the costumes. Yeah, they look amazing. They do. You Yeah, they look amazing. They do. You know what they look like? They look like an obscene waste of money. Yeah, that's what my wife said. But they look amazing. They're a lot of fun. They do look fun.

They do look fun. We just got into them. We just did a dance and stuff like that. It was great. But they're not practical. Were they hours of fun? Minutes. But they're great.

Big and flat, but you can't really have a drink or whatever, you've got to sort of unzip yourself to have a drink or anything like that. So they were seconds of fun? No, I'd say minutes, at least minutes, 10 to 20 minutes of fun, you know. They look amazing. It was a shame I couldn't wander the streets in them.

But then maybe I'm in a bubble. Can you see in them? Yeah, you can. There's not bad visibility. We should put a photo up on our Instagram. Yeah, I'll do that, you know? Okay. Quite a costume guy it is.

You've got a costume for every occasion. He took all the old props from our TV show, wrapped up, filled his garage with... I know. Jeez, your wife must be like, mate. She's like, I can't put the car in the garage because of the costumes. Like, we've got a garage we can't put a car in because it's full of costumes.

Have you catalogued all the costumes? He does know what's in there, don't you? Well, I did, and then it got messy, and then you put them back into containers, and then you're like, I'll sort that out later, and you don't. You don't. These costumes are going to become the biggest burden upon your family. I know. In his will, and he's left you an abundance

of novelty costumes. Some topical, some dated. They're like, oh, thanks for that, Dad. What's the most obscure costume you have? There was some weird one.

There was a hypodermic needle. Yes, I bought that in the other day, which came in handy. It came in handy. For COVID vaccinations. Yeah. I could have thrown that out,

you know, but I kept on to that. That's where I feel like I've had a little win. But then sometimes it's so messy and busy down there, I'm pretty sure I've got a costume of that, and I look for like 20, 30 minutes and I can't find it. I guess we'll just have to look into getting something else, you know, and that's not what you want.

When you do use it, for example, the heroin needle that we used, do you play that to your wife? You're like, see? Paying dividends. This is what your car may be parked outside. We used that for five seconds in a video about COVID vaccines. Yeah, cars depreciating with every outside night it spends. But that's fine. The costumes are great.

There you go. Enjoy the podcast. New Zealand's breakfast. This is Jono and Ben on the hits. Yona, good morning. Welcome along to the show. A Monday morning. Jono and Ben on the hits. Yona, good morning. Welcome along to the show. A Monday morning. Jono and Ben.

Just gone six o'clock. First of November, guys. This is definitely the downslide to the end of the year, isn't it? I mean, I start checking out around July, but I know for the official part of the workforce, the ones that actually do work, you know, you start sliding round about now, don't you? How about you, Ben? When do you start sliding? Oh it's going to be different this year I reckon

because everyone's at various stages of not being working for a little bit you know like in the office environment so I reckon the slide may not happen as early this year. Yeah Ju when do you start sliding? You're relatively new to this work game. Yeah oh god like November

I think around now like now I'm like home stretch, let's go. But then I'm like, oh God, like still two months away until Christmas. Well, thankfully we've got that on record now. We've got that recording. We'll have that for Julia's next performance appraisal. That's why I didn't answer that. Louie Dewan.

Louie Dewan. Exciting show coming up today, don't we, Benjamin Boyce? We've got some cash to give away, $5,000, $7.45. Five Words is back with a twist, though, this week. We want to give you the best chance to win. Yeah, because we haven't had a winner for a little bit. So we've put the words up on our social media. So if you want to go to the Hits Breakfast on Facebook or Instagram, it's on the story.

It's on a post on Facebook. You can see the words ahead of Five Words today. Now, it's obviously not cheating because we don't know what words you're going to say and vice versa, you don't know what words we're going to say. So it's just giving you a little bit of advantage. If you went to the Olympics, they'd probably be drug testing you. Just going, how did this come across so easy? But it gives you a chance to formulate a game plan.

And so that would be the most common word, I think, you'd go with. Because a lot of people, when they phone through, the most regular comment is, oh, it's hard on the spot. Yes. So we're eliminating that. Yeah. All right, we're doing a weekend. We want to have a winner this week, so we'll see how that goes.

It is the hits. You've got Jono and Ben. Of course, it was Halloween. a bit of a different Halloween right across the country over the weekend with a little bit more social distancing but a lot of kids still dressing up, a lot of adults is dressing up as well. What I love about Halloween, and it's one consistent message that this show delivers being voice,

is for pretty much 11 months of the year we tell children, stay away from strangers, don't accept lollies from them. But then there's one wild night a year where you can throw all that out the window. You knock on any door, you go up to any, you name a house, you knock on that door, you walk into that person's property.

And the scarier the house, the better. You get into that one, they'll be celebrating Halloween. You're like, really? Really mixed messaging from the adults there to the kids, I feel. But it was a lot of fun. We had a bit of fun over the weekend, even though we couldn't quite celebrate how we normally would. We actually did a social distancing

trick-or-treating, dropping stuff off to friends, and they were kind of leaving stuff there, and then later on they'd leave a parcel with the kids at that little box. Sounds like you're drug runners. They'll leave a package, we'll drop a package off, they'll go to another house, drop that package off, pick up another package.

We had to end up role playing because the kids still wanted the joy of knocking on doors. And so then they just knocked on our door multiple times. But every time they wanted us playing a different role. So we had to be different. One day I was like a grumpy neighbour, once, get away you kids, we just want some lollies, oh take these lollies, get out of here.

Oh, still provided lollies, that's nice. Still provided lollies, yeah, he's a grumpy neighbour, but you know, he's lovable, he's charming. Yeah, gotcha. So he ended up assuming about three different roles for different knocks on the door, Jean had to do the same. She was sort of a solo wife whose husband,

probably developing husband, had left her for a younger model. She's already got deep into the character. Yeah, it's at the role play, yeah. She was a little scorned, but again, she still had lollies. That's the main thing. Now, last week, of course, I had to watch all the Halloween movies, and we decorated the room, thanks to Look Sharp. And so I was like, oh, maybe I'll take home a couple of,

I borrowed a couple of decorations to take home. And some of the mechanical ones that you had a lot of fun with, you know, the ones that make noise, that scary clown. Well, then the kids all weekend would sort of, because they knew they saw you giving me frights, they would just sort of come up behind me. Have a listen to this. Hey, Dad. Yeah.

Oh! This was all weekend. Did I scare you? Yes, you did. Good. You taste much better when you're scared. Oh, that was the disturbing clown who would be like. That's from Jon scared. That was the disturbing clown. That's from Jotaro.

I was like, Jotaro, did you pay them off to do this or what? We'll continue on the post-traumatic stress disorder from that evening. That clown was fun because he'd always be like, I'll catch up with you later, dot, dot, dot, in your nightmares. He'd always have a little zinger at the end. You had a zombie. A zombie, yeah. It was a mechanical zombie that basically was crawling along the ground,

just holding on for dear life. But the noise he made, it sounded like he was really suffering from reflux. Have a listen. He's gone too hard at the Valentine's buffet. He's over, he's not rolling, he's like, I'm so full. But every time you walk past that, he would sort of kick off and slowly crawl along the ground.

The scariest thing, though, that I always think of in Halloween, and I found this clip over the weekend, was a few years ago when we had the TV show. You scared me multiple times during the day. And this one,

my wife, this was before lockdown, before you could recklessly go over to people's houses. And prank them. And yeah, my wife let you into the house in the middle of the night.

With your kids, too. I mean, there was a wonderful phase there where Amanda would sort of get the kids up and herself, you know, sort of, you know, 11 o'clock at night, quite late.

And she'd come to the front door and sneak out and wait out in the cold while we were going with the TV crew and prank her husband. Yeah, and so you came into the house with like a hockey mask on and a chainsaw in the middle of the night. A functioning chainsaw too. And you stood at the end of the bed away from me. But still, I woke up to this. Have a listen to this. Sorry, it's just me, mate. The fire alarm's going off as soon as Shamil's

blazed. The thing I know, looking at the video I was like, where was health and safety? The chain bit from the chainsaw fell off as I was firing it up at the end of your bed. Really? Yeah, it came flying off. Oh, my God. I was like, this could have gone very bad.

Thankfully, it didn't. It was the wild times. It was the wild west back then. Now, what I had to do on Thursday night was I tried another chainsaw incident on Thursday night when you were watching the movies, but now I had to get a Bluetooth speaker and sound effects, and I just hold the chainsaw. That's pranking in 2021. It is the hits.

You've got Jono and Ben. Scrolling through your feed. Now to some news from the BBC. The Ben Boyce Consortium. Current events, collided conglomerate. I can't think of what a C could be. Corporation? Yeah, corporation. The Ben Boyce Corporation. Sounds good events, collided conglomerate. I can't think of what I see could be. Corporation? Yeah, corporation.

The Ben Boyce Corporation. Sounds good. Bringing you news this morning. The All Blacks played Wales over the weekend, and it was a comprehensive victory for the All Blacks. But one of the moments that everyone's talking about is the pitch invader. Did you see this on the news last night?

The guy Jarvo69, he's invaded sports events before over there in the UK. And he came dressed fully in all black kit and got over the barrier and ran out and lined up with the team as they did the anthem. And he was lining up with the end of the team in the all blacks kit, had a face mask on and everything. And everyone, you could see the players in the middle of the anthem, sort of a couple of them looking across. TJ Padanata after the game said, I had my eyes shut. So I didn't quite realise until he got off, sort of looking, a couple of them looking across. TJ Perenata, after the game, said, I had my eyes shut, so I didn't quite realise until he got off at sort of halftime, and the boys were like, there was a guy that joined,

tried to join the anthem. That is wonderful confidence, too. Hasn't he done it with cricket as well? He walked on with a bat in a full... Yeah. He's had one full in cricket batting kit, and I don't know the time when he's come on with the Indian team, you know, out to field with them and stuff and looking like he's going to bowl.

Same guy's done it multiple times, he's a YouTube prankster, and yeah, I'm not sure. I hope it pays dividends, because, you know, a full All Blacks uniform would be very expensive. You've got socks, shorts, you're probably looking at about $300, $400 for the full kit. Yeah, exactly. He had it on his YouTube channel I was watching last night. He showed how he got out there. He sort of, while the security guy was sort the full kit. Yeah, exactly. He had it on his YouTube channel I was watching last night. He showed how he got out there. While the security guy was looking the other way, he stripped off in the stand, ran down,

and just ran around past him, looked around and then stood in line with his hands over his heart while the anthem played. So I imagine he'll get some sort of... That's so funny. Some sort of punishment. Did he know the words to our anthem? I don't know if he got quite that far.

Another security lady sort of came up and sort of stopped him midway through. And you could say he was trying to argue with her, saying, I need to do this anthem sort of thing. And then he got dragged off. The All Blacks after the game saw the funny side of it. I think even Brad Weber, who plays for the All Blacks, tweeted, like, I'd love to have a beer with you, mate, if you're still around. He's like, I'm around, mate, or something.

Oh, Brad Weber's probably hoping, I hope he's not around now, but he actually is. Then you get to go and have have a beer with you mate if you're still around he's like I'm around mate or something Brad Webber's probably hoping I hope he's not around now but he actually is then you get to go and have an awkward beer with him that's funny. Great moment from the All Blacks test over the weekend and Christmas not too far away and one of my favourite Christmas movies is Will Ferrell Elf, I watch it every year with the kids

it's so good, you know the one. Okay people tomorrow morning 10am Santa's coming to town. Santa! Oh my god! Santa's here? I know him. It's such a good movie. I know him. But Will Ferrell has returned down a sequel.

40 million New Zealand dollars is what they're offering him for the sequel. He said he read the script and he basically said it wasn't good and the only reason he'd be doing it was for the money. Who's the poor script writer? I'd have to promote

the movie from an honest place and they said what about the movie? He says it's not good, I just couldn't turn down that much money. That's what he said he'd have to say when promoting the movie. So he turned it down. But surely they could give another crack. Yeah, do a draft too.

Surely he could go back, hey, how about we make some adjustments, come back to me, and still hold the 40 mil. Yeah, the original movie was a bit of a surprise hit. It was meant to be a flop, right? All the movie execs thought it was going to be a write-off. And it ended up grossing over $291 million at the box office.

Wow. He plays that character very well, though, doesn't he? It was kind of almost like the launch of Will Ferrell for mainstream acting as well. Wasn't it initially meant to be like an earnest movie? It wasn't meant to be a comedy. Was it not? Yeah, and I think first edits of the film,

it was like this earnest sort of Christmastime tale. Yeah. And then somehow it ended up how it ended up, with a bit of a re-edit. Yeah, so it'd be pretty hard to turn down $40 million, wouldn't it? Even for a crammy movie, you'd be like, ah well, you know. I would love a bit more honesty too from those actors and some press junkets, if they've done

a dud. They'd be like, yeah, no, yeah, it's a crapper. But I was off for $10 million. What would you do? I'll take the hit. And that is Scrawly for your feed this morning. It is the hits. You've got Jono and Ben. Kids, keep up that learning or you'll end up like these guys.

Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast. Cabinet today reviewing alert level settings, particularly in Auckland and Waikato. I thought we were just waiting till 90% now for vaccinations before things went to the traffic light system. But anyway, I'm a bit confused, but we'll find out this afternoon. I thought I had quite a good handle on everything, but this morning I'm like, what?

You were proud of the handle you had on it. She's like, oh, you asked me anything. I know where we're going. Why are they always talking to Dr. Michael Baker? Talk to me on the news. The roadmap to recovery. Call me if you need any information. But yeah, I thought November 29 was the day that everyone was...

Who knows? Who cares? The one thing we do know, it's going to be a short and sharp lockdown. Hard and early. And we'll be through it. No time, guys. A couple of people escaped from Jet Park as well. They can't find them.

Oh, really? Yeah, right. It's been all piece of that. It's all going well, guys. It's all going well. Write the year right. It's been all piece of that. It's been all piece of that. It's all going well, guys. It's all going well. Write the year off. Yeah. That's right.

Just write it out. No one go into the office. It feels a bit that way now. Don't send the under 12s back to school. Let's just cancel. You know, write it. We'll see it through, obviously. Yeah.

It's hard, though, for businesses and stuff, you know. That's the hard thing, you know, like hairdressers, barbers, restaurants, you know, those. I gave my dad a haircut yesterday. Oh, really? That's how desperate he was. It actually went really well on my head. It actually went really well. If it really doesn't work out for me, I think I might become a hairdresser, guys.

If you need a hairdresser, I'm your gal. Sounds good. Have you seen old Mullet Man over there? We definitely need a hairdresser on the show. Oh, come see ya. And as I had to, got Jello a bit. You're essential listening for non-essential banter. I thought I was saying something meaningful there,

then I backed out. Jono and Ben, New Zealand breakfast. Now, last week, actually, we spoke to a Canadian dentist. His name was Michael Zuck, and he paid $37,000 New Zealand dollars for an unusual bit of memorabilia. It was one of John Lennon's actual teeth. Now, John Lennon had gifted this to a housemate.

It was an amazing story. Probably talking a wisdom tooth, but I actually got a surprise bonus of an extra tooth that does show from side pictures sometimes that he had pulled. You were at an auction? Or did you, like, bid for something online? I mean, how did you know about John Lennon's teeth? It was a UK auction, and basically I woke up early in the morning.

I was up all night just wondering how much should I pay for this tooth. And I ended up winning the auction and running up to my daughter's bedroom and waking her up. I said, I bought John Lennon's tooth. And then she freaked out and swore at me for spending so much money. And she said I should have bought her a car instead. You can't buy John Lennon love, but she said I should have bought her a car instead. There you go. You can't buy John Lennon love, but you can buy his tooth for $30,000. I've been thinking a lot since then, too, because he gave it.

The backstory was John Lennon had gifted it to his housekeeper. And I'm always like, did he pull it out and put it aside? He's like, I'm going to save this for Rosa when she announces her retirement. She's going to love this tooth. What was the back story there? Or if it's like, hey, you owe me for the cleaning. Hang on, I haven't got any money on me right now. But I have a wisdom tooth.

I'll just pull that out for you. There you go. That'll be worth something one day. Just dismembering himself. Yeah. Or did she find a tooth? And she's like, I found a tooth. And you're like, oh, you can have that.

It'll be worth something someday. It probably was worth something back then, you know, because he was John Lennon. But it's, yeah, you're right. It's an unusual backstory. Memorabilia Madness. We're going to open this up one more time. 0800, the hits is the telephone number.

What have you got stowed away, stored away? Did you, through your wild teenage years, Juliet, and she's like, why didn't you pre-plan me for this? Yes, I'm thinking that right now. She's like, don't throw me an example live on the air. Have you got anything sifting away through your, you know, you had One Direction, you had Bieber. Yeah, I have like a whole collection of, oh my gosh,

I should really find, no, I'm not going to find this. There's this photo of my bedroom when I was younger and it was literally wall to wall ceiling to floor posters justin bieber i also had one above my bed on the ceiling and i had like vinyl all his cds his books and now it's all just stored in a box just at the top of my wardrobe it was a shrine a bieber shrine if there was a stalking issue and they showed a photo of that room you'd be like well you know she's definitely guilty it's the one that's for sure i remember um i dan carter did the jockey ads and i think i've told you this before and you know and i got i bought a pair of jockeys and got dan

carter was doing some filming and i signed the jockeys i was like that's cool that'll be worth something one day jan well you know it's dan carter signing some jockeys lennon's tooth's fetching some cash carter's undies would and then my mom came to stay at my house and she was like, she washed them. She's like, I had a bit of like ink in the thing and I washed them a couple of times. You're like, ugh. Got most of it out. I was like, oh, thanks, Jetty. Thanks, Jetty.

Do you know whose underpants those were? Well, I think, you know, Dan Carter, he's a huge superstar. But I feel like if you really wanted to get underpants signed again by Dan Carter, it's achievable. Oh, I don't know. Yeah, true. I feel like I have my chance now. Yeah.

Soured your relationship with your mother? Oh, and under the heads, what memorabilia we got will do memorabilia madness. Give us a call this morning. It is the heads. It is Sam Smith, Promises. You're on the hits, John and Ben. Memorabilia madness, what have you got? Monday memorabilia madness.

Let's turn it into a thing, a great alliteration for commercial radio. Well, that's all you want on 0800 The Hits. What bit of memorabilia have you got? Yeah, now we're joined by Tony, who's actually from the Lake Rotonafu campground. Tony, what memorabilia have you got? Mate, we've got the McDonald's playground. Oh, this is at the campground? At the campground, mate, yeah.

It's old-fashioned. The kids will love it. Oh, an entire functioning, like, the playground from the 80s and 90s that used to be at every McDonald's restaurant. Yeah, mate, the original stuff that came to New Zealand when it first set up, yeah. Oh, awesome. Yeah, right, so you basically went to Ronald's garage sale, picked everything up.

How much do you think you've spent on this McDonald's playground over the years? Oh, I don't tell my wife, but probably about $20,000. Ooh, jeez, I'm looking at it. Well, you just have, so you're on the radio. It's got the Hamburglar with the swing. It's got the Mayor McCheese. I don't know if he's still Mayor.

Yeah, he is. He rules. He's got that little cage thing. Oh, you'd climb up his insides, wouldn't you? What about the grimace that you would rock slowly back and forth on the springs? You'd get quite a bit of momentum on those, couldn't you? Oh, mate. The kids get crazy.

It's pretty great. The kids have fun. I always remember those bars on that grimace being very unforgiving. Yeah, yeah. You know, you smash your face into those bars because you get 20 kids in there rocking it back and forth. I know, it was a lot of fun, though, yeah. Yeah, no, it is.

It's well photographed. Everyone loves it. You know, people your age, I guess, they remember it, explain it to their kids what it was all about. So yeah, no, it's cool. When you think about it, it was a shocking play for McDonald's to go, hey kids, after you've just filled up on sugary burgers, soft drinks, milkshakes, how about you go and rattle around inside Grimace for about half an hour?

Yeah, well, it makes them hungry again, doesn't it? Yeah, well, true. Good play. And then, did they ever have a ball pit, McDonald's? I remember a ball pit, but then the ball pit. No, that was the new generation. Yeah, mate. Get out of here with your ball pit, Jono. Yeah.

Was there a seesaw? Yeah, yeah. Got the seesaw. That's a fillet of fish. Did you have to install it yourself, or you got someone else to install it to? No, we did that ourselves. We've got a maintenance team here, so we designed it up and saw it would look good.

All the bigger pieces are looking down the lake, keeping an eye on everybody, so no, it's all cool. Gee whiz, the rainbow's end of Twizel, eh? Yeah. Right. Oh, also give your business a plug. Whereabouts, obviously, you're in Twizel? What's it called? Lake Ruatana for Holiday Park. Oh, there we go, Tony. Lovely to talk to you. Have a great day. Okay, mate. There we plug. Whereabouts, obviously, you're in Twizel. What's it called? Lake Rotana for Holiday Park.

Oh, there we go, Tony. Lovely to talk to you. You have a great day. Okay, mate. There we go. Nicky. Nicky's with us from Rautarua. Monday memorabilia madness.

Nick, what have you got? I've got a $5 note signed by Jane Alamu. Oh, wow. So how did he go to sign the $5 note? He came into my lunch bar and I was walking out and I was like, oh my God, oh my God, I need him to sign something. And that's all I had in my pocket. He could have grabbed a pie from the pie warmer, he could have signed it.

What did Jonah Lomu buy from your lunch bar? A V and a pie. Oh yeah, wonderful Kiwi combo there. There's a blue V, green V, what V? Green V. Yeah, such a legend. The builder's diet, that one, isn't it? Wonderful. And was he nice?

Oh, he was lovely. Such an awesome gentleman. A friend of ours was having Bryce was having a party in Wellington, an apartment. After going out in town, went back to his friend's place, his apartment, and it was early into the morning and then there's a knock on the door and it was Jonah Longu.

Really? And he was like, hey guys, you know it's like three in the morning, do you mind if you just... And they're like, yes Jonah Longu, I'm sorry. And then they just turned the music down and just sat there and were like, did we just get a noise complaint from Jonah Longu? Awkwardly sat there for the remainder of the night. I'd say the city was lovely, very gentle. He was an amazing person

We're going to send you out Ron's Gone Wrong, it's a new Disney animated movie We're going to send you out tickets and a bit of a merch pack As well, you can catch that in cinemas If you can get to cinemas around the country right now Awesome, thank you so much Good on you Nicky, thanks for listening Spies coming up next, Jude

Some great Jude's Gone, would you look through the spy stories And see what interests you? Yeah, what interests you? To be honest, I'm liking to see what the celebs dressed up for Halloween. Okay, cool. It's a good lead story. We can talk about that next. All right, we'll find out in just a few moments.

It is the hits. Spy, the what's up spy.co.nz. All right, here's three minutes of us chiming in with our thoughts on celebrities who value our opinion in no way whatsoever. Juliet, you talk to us. What's happening? So obviously yesterday was Halloween. Probably quite a different Halloween for everyone in New Zealand.

But the celebrities over in the States and the UK were celebrating. They tend to have massive Halloween parties just with all the A-listers invited. And it's quite a big deal. They go really hard in their costumes. Some of my favourites. Lizzo went as Baby Yoda. Remember when Baby Yoda was such a big obsession for everybody? I've seen the picture of

Lizzo. Gee whiz, that would have been a long time in the make-up chair. I know, right? I'm picking at least six to ten hours. And I have no expertise in that field whatsoever. She looks so good as Baby Yoda. She does look really good. I see Hayley Bieber went as Britney Spears. Yeah, in multiple

different sort of scenarios. Yeah, because it was the first concert she ever went to. Oh wow, so what do you mean multiple costume changes? So she basically, yeah well I don't know if she went as Britney Spears to different parties but in one she dressed as her on the Rolling Stones cover, she also dressed as her in the

schoolgirl, the red jumpsuit. Almost like Britney Spears for different shoots or album covers and things like that. An array of Britney Spears costumes. Kerry Washington, she's gone and done it and dressed as a Squid Game character in the green sort of tracksuit. I imagine that would have been pretty popular, the Squid Game costumes. And Charli D'Amelio in his Lady Gaga in a very big sparkly ensemble. I saw Kevin Hart, your mate, he went as one of the members of Michael Jackson's Remember the Time video. Really?

I remember that, it was sort of Egyptian themed. Oh, Eddie Murphy was in it in the original video and stuff. And someone came along with him as Michael Jackson as well. Really? Okay. Very convincing. I was like, is as Michael Jackson as well. Really? Okay. Very convincing. I was like, is Michael Jackson still alive?

It was that convincing. Oh really? Like an actual, yeah. LeBron James, the basketballer as well, he had an awesome Freddy Krueger.

I saw him over the weekend doing the same. It looked like an amazing makeup that had just been spent hours doing. Wow. They go really hard over there,

don't they? They do. And John Legend and his family went as the Adams family. So their daughter Luna was Wednesday Addams, dressed quite creepily and all black and everything like that. They looked really good.

Well, Chrissy Teigen's had a hell of a run lately, hasn't she? I know. Was she more Tisha? I actually didn't. To be fair, I haven't actually seen the Addams family. So I don't really know the characters. But yeah, very good. Very good.

And an ongoing story is the fatal shooting of Helena Hutchins on Alec Baldwin's movie set. So Alec Baldwin has now spoken out publicly for the first time. It kind of looks like he's kind of on the side of the road and reporters have sort of found him and he's speaking quite candidly on the side of the road. You can see that he's actually got his phone filming reporters in case... They do a stitch-up. Yeah, they do a stitch-up. Stitch him up in the road. You can see that he's actually got his phone filming reporters in case... They do a stitch-up. Yeah, they do a stitch-up.

Stitch him up in the edit. Yeah, so he's got proof of what the conversation was that took place. But he said that, you know, they went out for dinner a couple of nights before this happened. They were really good friends. He was advised to not speak publicly about it, but he said, you know, this is such a big issue that you can't not

speak publicly about it. Here's a little bit of audio this is such a big issue that you can't not speak publicly about it. Here's a little bit of audio of the conversation that took place. We were a very, very, you know, well-oiled crew shooting a film together and then this horrible event happened. What has to happen now is we have to realise that when it does go wrong, and it's this horrible, catastrophic thing, some new measures have to take place. Rubber guns, plastic guns, plastic guns, no real operatives. That's not what we need to decide.

It's urgent. It's urgent that you understand I'm not an expert in this field. So, talked a lot about the guns. We know for everyone involved, he looks like it. As you would, he would. It probably looks like he hasn't slept. He's getting harassed by the media. He said his kids are in the car crying because he's getting hounded.

It just feels like a horrible situation. As he's talking to the media, his wife's trying to say, hey, go away, leave us alone. He's like, no, no, he ushers her away. He's like, I need to say something. And he's sort of, he's left America and he's in Canada, so they've followed him to Canada, apparently. That's just so rough. It's just tragic on all levels. I know. For everyone

involved. Yeah, totally. And that's Spy Update for this hour. For more, you can head to thehits.co.nz. After 7 o'clock on the show at 7.45, we play our wee game, Five Words for $5,000. And we've put up today's words. If you want to grab them, they're on social media.

You can go to The Hits Breakfast on Facebook, or so The Hits Breakfast on Instagram, and you'll get a little insight of what the words are going to be so you can formulate a plan before 7.45. New Zealand's breakfast. This is Jono and Ben on The Hits. Good morning, New Zealand.

Just gone 7 o'clock. Jono and Ben with you on The Hits. In 45 minutes, your chance to win $5,000. And if you want a little bit of an advantage today, you can go to the Hits Breakfast on Facebook or Instagram and you'll see the words that we have up there for grabs today. And so you can formulate a bit of a plan which is pretty cool. Front Footed

joining you very shortly, we've got a big announcement to make next Ben Boyce, something that's very dear to my heart and the fact that it's done quite a good job of clogging up my arteries which lead to my heart fish and chips, free fish and chips for the whole country. Well yeah we'll explain a bit more next, this is pretty awesome

this is all thanks to Heinz and we'll tell you how it's going to work out. But actually, over the weekend, it's funny, we've got this thing happening with the Heinz, because my daughter Indy was playing a game. We had some Heinz ketchup in the fridge, and she was like, oh, let's play a game. And this is what she said. What's your new game, Indy? To guess what Hen's tomato ketchup. How long it's been running for. How long it's been running for. I don't think hens has been running for that long because you know it's actually called hines. No, it's hens.

H-E-I-N-Z. Hines. Hines. Can you just say hines? It'll help us out a lot more with our sponsored... Hines. Hines. All right, sorry.

Okay, anyway, how long has hens been running for? I would say since 19... More. No, let's go earlier. 1956. Actually, it's 1869. Wow, 1869. There you go, 1869.

I never noticed that on the bottle before, but 1869. That's a wonderful tenure. A saucy ride there. Yeah. 1869 for hens. Yeah, hines, you'd say probably now. There you go. There's conversations from day 81 in lockdown.

Yeah. Going through items in the fridge. Yeah, this is my new game. How long has this product been around for? Well, thanks to hens, or hines as they like to be called. We've got an awesome prize. As you said, fish and chips for the whole country. We'll tell you how next on The Hits.

It's Bad Liar. You're on The Hits, Jono and Ben. Now, we're sending the bosses credit card around the country this month to treat you guys with fish and chips and, of course, Heinz tomato ketchup. Heinz tomato ketchup takes your chips, burgers, and pies to another level. This is awesome. It is. It's a great campaign.

Between 12 and 2 on Friday, our one town will win free fish and chips with plenty of Heinz tomato ketchup to match. So if you want to nominate your town or city for Jono and Ben's Friday, then you can head to the hitstock.co.nz. Yeah, it's a great prize. I mean, fish and chip Friday, it's a staple in my weekly diet, Ben Boyce. It is. It's the one consistent thing in my life.

Not even my hair wanted to hang around. Those fish and chips, they stay with me week in, week out. So, great prize. The whole town, free fish and chip lunch on a Friday. We're doing this. It's not just a one-off, baby. This rolls on for a month. Yeah, it's amazing.

And you've written something, thanks to the internet. Yeah, it's a live trailer.'ve written something, thanks to the internet. Yeah, it's a live trailer. Now, warning, I want to disclaimer, this is a huge overdose of puns. It's probably filling up our pun quota for the remainder of the year. Even probably 2022, to be honest. But hit the music, Juliet. Starting this Friday for the next month, the greatest free thing since a free government-funded Pfizer needle stabbing into your arm.

Yeah, thanks to our saucy friends at Heinz, Jono and Ben, that's us, present Fish and Chip Friday. Now, Friday is spelt F-R-Y. It's a lot better written down. It really is. That's right, the bait is over. Free fish and chips for the whole country. Let's hope there's still plenty of fish in the sea Because there won't be after we're done with them It's officially the bass Bass

It's a fish in America Oh yeah competition on the radio Drop us a line and you could snap her up Free fish and chips for your town this Friday Uh oh someone call police 10-7 There's been an assault at the fish and chip shop Some fish have been battered And the prime suspects are Jono and Ben.

It doesn't take a brain-stirred chip... Is it another fish? Of course it's a fish. To know you won't find a better prize than that. Listen, Salmon has to say it. Something smells a little fishy. You better not be full of bull chip. Oh, jeez.

No, I swear to God. Free fish and chips. They're not just fish... Fishish? Fishish. Fishish rumours. Listen, don't pretend you're above these puns. This is your sweet spot.

He's trying to act all high and mighty. You're telling me no matter where I am, I can eat Cray Love this Friday for free? That's right. We'll be casting the net far and wide. You'll be finding Nemo and putting Nemo in my mouth? Hook, line and sink it, my friend. And you can win fish and chips for your locals.

I would say you would probably be given the terror keys to the city. Well, that's just fantastic. How can I be Dolphin to win? Just jump on your shell phone and trawl through to the hitstock code at NZ. And tune in to Jono and Ben for more. Yes, but be sure to muscle in today.

You don't want to be left floundering around. Okay, we really need to stop these puns now. Oh, don't act so sophisticated. Oh, no, I know I'm not above this, but I'll bait these puns, Garnet, go on for much longer. Yeah, we should probably just clam down. I think everyone's a bit shell-shocked by all these. Well, that was a turtle disaster.

Oh, God. Anyway, we did it there, we did it live, we made a choice. Maybe it was the wrong one, but now hopefully you've got all the details. You know, You look back on moments in your career, don't you? You could have pre-recorded that You could have just added up, but anyway, that's it I love puns and halfway through I lost confidence in that It's because you didn't read the whole thing

Iron Stamata Ketchup giving you free Fish and chips this Friday, that is amazing Even if our puns aren't If you want to nominate your town, go to thehitstock.nz. Hey, next, we had a wonderful moment on Friday. We're going to call the lady back. Tested safe for listening from home. Keep safe.

And that's all I have to say. Thanks, Dr. Ashley. John Owen Penn. New Zealand's breakfast. Last week, we really got into Halloween this year. I had to watch the five scariest movies every fright that I got. We took some money off a $10,000 prize pool, and we ended up with $5,000.

And Ange was the name that we announced on the radio that we drew out, and she had 66.6 seconds to give us a call. And it was a pretty amazing moment when she called up. Ange? Yes. Ange! Oh, my God! Ange Story! Congratulations. call and it was a pretty amazing moment when she called up ang story congratulations you have got five thousand dollars it sounds like it means so much to you this money it's incredible it's really really like i didn't even know what christ was going to be this year.

This is just amazing. Yeah, when we started that quirky novelty campaign, Ben, you didn't think it was going to end up with you saving Christmas, did it? No, and tears for all of us. What if I told you that at the beginning? Don't worry, mate, if you do this, you'll save Christmas for someone. Oh, what a heart. Yeah, it was awesome.

It was actually a really, really amazing moment to be part of. Yeah, it was, it was. And she joins us back on the phone now, Ange. Hey, guys. Hey, mate. How has it sunk in? Not really. Not really.

I mean, yeah, it was such an awesome moment for us. And I imagine it was pretty cool for you, but it was awesome for us to experience that with you and to hear you win $5,000. Oh, it just, as I said, even a couple of hundred would have made a difference to us right now. It's amazing what this is going to do for my family. And yeah, I was so invested in it. And I had the kids here with the little alarm clock playing it.

We were all rooting. And then when you said Nicole's name first, I was like, no! And then you said my name and I just could not believe it. I just there's some angels that's for sure watching over us so yeah. I'm glad it means so much to you. I imagine in that moment too where you're like you get quite shaky dialling the number

or did you have it pre-dialed? No, I had rung it earlier so it was in my calling list so I knew I just had to tap that once and it would ring through. Oh, pre-prepared. I was shaking. I was sweating and I was shaking and, yeah. I just rung my mum and I said,

I need to go have a cold shower now. And you're going to put a lot of it towards Christmas, Ange? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I've got four children and it was looking quite stressful. COVID's really hit us hard and I haven't been able to work the entire time and my husband's an essential worker and it just, yeah, it's going to help us out hugely. Well, really, it brought a tear to our eye

and it could not have gone to a more deserving whanau. So well done. Oh, thank you guys so, so much. It really does mean everything to us, yeah. Oh, awesome. Well, enjoy that money, and it was so lovely to experience that with you, and I'm sure you'll put it to great use. Yes, I will.

Thank you, guys. And finally, you do something decent with your platform, Ben. Finally, you give back your monster. Hey, we've got five grand up for grabs very shortly. See if you want to win that. $5,000, five words, 5K, a game of Word Association happening in about 20 minutes' time. Like getting your news from the internet. Half-truths and false information. $5,000, five words, 5K, a game of word association happening in about 20 minutes' time.

Like getting your news from the internet. Half-truths and false information. John Owen Bain, New Zealand's breakfast. It is, it's John Owen Bain, 7.24 on a Monday. Now, an electric plane, you might have heard in the news this morning, is flying across the Cook Strait today, the first time they reckon an electric plane's going to fly that far over water anywhere in the world. It kind of looks like a cross between a helicopter and a plane.

If a helicopter and a plane made love, that would be the baby. Right? I'm just showing you guys a picture of it. It's almost like a helicopter with a really long sort of plane wings. Who's taking the hit on that one? What do you mean? Who's the pilot? William Shatner.

Give this a crack, mate mate You've been to space What else is there left to lose? Gary Friedman is his name And this morning I reckon around about 9 o'clock this morning He's going to be landing After flying across the Cook Strait So you don't know how long the electricity

Obviously they've figured it out That it can make it They've done all the research I imagine they would have done their research Like an anti-vaxxer They'd have done their research. I mean, poor Gary doesn't want to get halfway across. He's like, you know, I remember to

fully charge this thing. Is there a PowerPoint around here anywhere? Yeah, they're very cool. That's good. Pioneering too, because the Wright brothers as well. You know, we've had a we've dipped our toes into the aviation history books, haven't we? Yeah, they're going to be a game changer in the field of aviation as well.

So very cool. Well, definitely if it makes it, it'll be a game changer. Yeah, so very cool this morning. And next on the show, Jono, you bagged something on Friday. You were very harsh towards something that's going on in New Zealand right now. And we're going to bring this back up. I thought you would forget about it. I thought it was one of those things that you just said

and you'd forget about over the weekend. No, no, it's happening next. There's the hits. You've got Jono and Ben. It's cold hard. It is the Hits. Jono and Ben. A big announcement today.

Another announcement from the government. We said earlier this morning we were a bit confused about what this announcement's going to be today. I think they are too. Yeah. I thought they'd bought themselves time by saying at the end of November They were going to reassess everything But I don't know Because they were all dressed in black They were in a different setting

And the beehive And it felt like Well, you're not going to hear from us For about a month Good luck with your COVID thing We'll be back in a month's time Anyway, something's happened today But one thing we do know

That's happening at the moment Is the COVID lady seems to have gone From the commercials Right now, there seems to have gone from the commercials. Right now, there seems to be a guy doing it. This is a COVID-19 announcement. Well, that's her. Yeah, she's disappeared. I threw out some outrageous comments that I thought she might have been an anti-vaxxer

and she had only brought it up with her employers about three quarters of the way through the campaign. But it's not just the COVID lady that is no longer with us. They've also changed tact and they're trying to basically target the younger people because that's one of the age demographics that need to get vaccinated more. And they've come up with this sort of youth targeted ad. Hey yo, it's two shots for summer fam. Two shots to live it free.

Two for long days and warm nights. Yeah, two shots is the key. Two shots to summer fam. Two shots to live it free. Two for long days and warm nights. Yeah, two shots is the key. Two shots together, whanau. No, I thought this was a really good idea. I thought it was great because they're not speaking to you and I, Jono. They're speaking to people that they need to target. And the other ones obviously weren't working as well. So they've really targeted down.

You can tell that was brainstormed by a bunch of probably 30 or 40-year-olds wearing their hats sideways In a boardroom Can't you? Yeah but I mean Anything If it's got Hopefully it works

Because we need that Sort of thing to work But you were quite You were harsh towards it Which I thought was a great idea You thought it was It was a terrible idea Jesus

I mean maybe it's working I mean you're not You're not really target for that I'll tell you what I was just thinking While that played I was going to give you A little bit of homework.

On Monday, I want to hear you voice in your coolest style, exactly same ad, and we'll play them back to back and see if you can do a better job. Yeah, and I'll try and gently bully young people into getting vaccinated. Is that what you want me to do? I thought you were going to forget about this. Well, I haven't. It's Monday, and we've got the script, or some of the script.

And you want me to do my best, see if I can do any better? Yeah, you're going to make it sound cool because that lady sounds cool. I reckon she sounds great and I want you to sound... But I know what this end result... We all know what's going to happen here. I'm going to sound less cool than her. Oh, hey. But you're the guy going, oh, Jesus, what are they doing? You know, now it's your chance to put your money

where your mouth is and see if you can target the youth. I'll do my best. Got some music that we can play? I'll genuinely try and sound cool. Yeah, you sound cool. Here we go. Hey, Julia, stop the music. You've got to be the judge of this.

This is targeting you. Can we please not start with Oh My Goodness? I haven't even started the script. Oh My Goodness. Everyone's against me in this room. 2v1. Hey, yo! Two shots for Summer, fam. Oh my goodness. I feel like everyone's against me in this room. 2v1. That's wrong. Okay.

Hey yo. Two shots for summer fam. Yo. Two shots delivered free. Shots for long days, warm nights. Yes sir. Two shots is the key. Two shots to get on the news,

twerking on a beer pong table at an illegal lockdown party. You're putting words in there that's not part of it. Two shots to burn a couch and drink out of a rotten shoe. Keep it 100. Two shots to suck on a bucky with seven other people. Sick as bounce lip. Two

shots to rag on some boomers for ruining the environment. Am I right, woke? Two shots to pash a rando. What's up, babe? Two shots to soil the Uber. Extra. Oh my god. Two shots to catch some Rando. What's up, babe? Two shots to Soil the Uber. Extra. Oh, my God. Oh, God.

Two shots to catch some other virus from whoever you hook up with. Fire. Two shots to probably struggle to get on the property ladder. Dang. What do you reckon? Well, half of that was a COVID message. Anyway, you've brought your own to it. Okay.

Juliette, you're the judge. So, on Saturday, we have a replay show And I feel like that should never see the light of day again I'm sorry Yes sir You keep it 100 girl 5,000 dollars on the way for you very shortly 5 words 5k It is the hits

5 words for 5k on the hits You're only 5 words away from a massive payday We have your chance to win $5,000 cash every morning at 7.45 We play 5 words for $5,000 It's a simple game of word association Because we haven't had a winner for a couple of weeks We're trying to give you guys a bit of help Yeah it's like if you took on Dame Val in shot putting,

this is attaching a bionic arm to your body. A little bit of an advantage. We're handing out the words the night before on the Hits Breakfast social media, Instagram, Facebook, whatever. And so you can formulate a bit of a game plan before you make it through on air, giving you the best chance.

There's not much more we can do apart from putting the right words inside your mouth, which would be unusual in these COVID times. But we don't know what you're going to say, and you don't know what we're going to say, and we don't know which one of us it is. So it's not 100%, you know. And, you know, there's one big hurdle to cross too, and it's that giant big pink booth in the corner there, the soundproof booth, which one of us will head into.

But we'll get Lisa on from Invercargill. How's the South this morning, Lisa? It's good, thank you. How are you guys? Doing well. Doing well for a Monday, Lisa. I hope we win you five grand. Are you going to put this money towards what?

Christmas. I really hope so, too. Yeah. Christmas is a bit of a struggle for lots of people this year, isn't it? Yeah, unfortunately. Yeah. Bloody sucks. Well, let's hope we can a struggle for lots of people this year, isn't it? Yeah, unfortunately. Yeah, bloody sucks. Well, let's hope we can do it for you, Lisa. You need to decide who's going in to the soundproof booth.

I'm going to go with Ben this time. Ben, okay. I hate to box you in, Ben, but we're going to have to do it now, my friend, as he takes his mullet-laden noggin into that soundproof booth. He can't hear a word. Did you check the words on social, Lisa? I actually just did before. I didn't realise they were out because I've had a bit of a crash course.

Okay, right. So you've got them in your head, what you're going to say? Yes. Yes. All right, you're feeling confident. Let's get into it, Ju. So what's the first word that comes into your head when I say smooch? Cat. Ohakuni. So what's the first word that comes into your head when I say smooch? Carrot.

Or hakuni. Now, we had to Google that before, so I'm going to say carrot. Ah, yeah, it's very famous for the carrots. You go there a bit, don't you, June? Yeah. Hmm. Skiing. I like to ski there, yep.

You're a skier. Yes, very fun. You're either a skiing family or you're not a skiing family, aren't you? Yeah, yeah. What I've found is you're either a scare skiing family or you're like a warm family. Like you'll prioritise going to Fiji or something. Yeah. No, the priors weren't mountain, we weren't mountain people.

You're a warm family. Every time I go to the snow, it looks so much better on a postcard. Yeah, it's freezing me. You get out there, you snow down, you trowel, it's a nightmare. But anyway, word number three. Dispenser, Lisa. Food. Food dispenser. The fourth

word is swim. Water. And word number five, for Lisa and Invercargill to win her $5,000, bird. Fly. Fly, yeah,000. Bird. Fly? Fly, yeah, that's good. You've done some good words.

You did some pre-brainstorming before hitting the radio, which you can do all this week if you just joined us. We'll release Ben from the soundproof booth. We are uploading the words every night on our social media so you can get some floating around in your head before you jump onto the field, so to speak. Stretch the hammies, warm up the thighs, rub some deep heat in there. Ben Boyce.

All right, here we go. Five grand up for grabs here. The first word was smooch. Yes. Lisa, that's the sound of you taking off towards $5,000 right there. It was quite good because I had my phone in there. I got to look at the words online. I was like, OK, I've got a plan.

I don't need to fumble about with these today. I know what words I'm going for. Hopefully they'll match up with Lisa's. I thought you were catfishing elderly ladies in there. I did that as well. He's got a couple on the hook, don't you? Word number two. Ohakuni. Carrot. Oh, here we go. This is good. I've come with a game plan.

Lisa's got a game plan. We're feeling good. Dispenser. Soap. Maybe you guys should have been in the same meeting room when you were developing your game plans. Would have been a good idea. Yes, would have been a good idea, Lisa. Yeah.

Sorry. I was so confident, too. He was all bubbly. He was jumping around. Yeah, I felt good about this one. She said food dispenser. Oh, God, that's, yeah. Let's go to word number four, swim. Pool.

Okay. Completely different game plans. And bird. Fly. Okay, so three out of five, but not quite good enough for you, Lisa. I'm so sorry. That's all good. Work the shot.

Good on you. Hey, thank you very much for listening. You keep safe in Invers, all right? Thank you. All the best to you. Spy, next. What's happening? Ashton Kutcher gave himself pancreatitis twice while filming a movie,

and I'll tell you why that is next. And you can tell me what pancreatitis is too next. That is it. Spy, the WhatsApp by doco.nz. All right, time to hand over to the youthful part of the show. It's our dear friend, the future Mrs. Harry Styles, Justin Bieber or Shawn Mendes, whichever one succumbs to her internet stalking first. Yes, you know me too well.

So Ashton Kutcher gave himself pancreatitis twice and was hospitalized both times while filming a Steve Jobs movie. So back in 2013, he played Steve Jobs in a biopic. But to prepare for the role, he kind of did a bit of method acting, and he's not usually a method actor, I don't think, but decided to eat and diet like Steve Jobs did.

And so Steve Jobs was very, he ate, would drink carrot juice, heaps. Like he would go through phases of just eating a very few number of fruit and vegetables. He had a lot of fruit in his diet, right? Yeah. And he would wear the same shoes, jeans, and shirt, wouldn't he, for his entire life? Yeah. Well, different, obviously, different items. I think it was all just because he had so much to do that he was just like, well, I

want to take one thing out of my... One decision making. Yeah, and that's what I'll do. I'll just get it and it's like a uniform, put it on, and away I go. Doesn't have to think about choosing. Which I think makes sense. Smart. Pretty smart.

But yeah, so his diet was quite strict and even. But the interesting thing here is Steve Jobs passed away of pancreatic cancer. That was the cause of his death. Yeah, I was thinking that, right? And so when Ashton Kutcher is eating exactly like Steve Jobs to prepare for the role, he gets pancreatitis and is hospitalized. But that's because he drank too much carrot juice. And there was a point where Ashton only ate grapes at one point

and I think he was trying to obviously channel Steve Jobs, maybe drop some weight to look a bit more like Steve Jobs. But that's how far he went for the movie role. Listen, I don't know if we could tell in his performance whether he'd eaten like Steve Jobs. Yeah, I know. He's definitely had the Jobs diet. Yeah, I guess maybe it just helps you get into it.

But sometimes they go to extra levels, don't they? I know. Method acting would be kind of scary. Imagine if you guys were actors and your wives had to deal with you guys' method being like these characters at home. I'm playing this very complex character, Jono. Very complex, yes.

I haven't dropped character for a number of years. There's a very famous meth addict. Who is it? What's his name? There's a few of them. Jared Leto, I think, is one that does it. That's right, the Joker. When he played the Joker in Suicide Squad.

And he would send all of the other castmates, like dead rodents and boxers and stuff. He really assumed the role of the Joker. And wouldn't really hang out with him as such. He wanted to be kind of mysterious. So he never really interacted with the other cast. Wow, so then they would kind of be quite scared of him when they're acting, I guess.

Christian Bale, Jim Carrey, other ones as well. They'd be method actors. When does that go? Like when you're hopping down a pack and save or something? I suppose you don't drop the entire time. You don't drop character. Yeah, true. Because there's day-to-day things that you have to do you can't not do.

It's really interesting, I think it's a doco on Jim Carrey where he played that role of famous comedian Andy Kaufman and it's on Netflix I think it is. And it's basically the crew and him looking back at when he was full method about this guy. And the crew were like he was just a pain in the bum the whole time filming because that was the guy's character.

And they were like, oh my goodness. You know, they just couldn't get through it. But I guess they get made for a really entertaining performance. But they were like, this guy's just wild. Never work with Carrie again.

Yeah. And Ed Sheeran, he's doing a bit of promo for his new album, Equals, at the moment. And he revealed that when he was younger, he actually questioned his sexuality for a little bit. He says he's got quite a prominent feminine side and when he was younger you know he

loved musical theater pop music loved britney spears um he said he's not a hugely masculine person he's not a car guy he likes a nice car but he doesn't have a lot of knowledge about it um his masculine side probably stops at drinking beer and watching football so when he was younger he kind of wondered do do I like guys? Do I like girls? But, you know, as you go through, you probably, you know, figure that out as you get older, don't you? Well, at least probably I don't even watch football.

You're not a car guy, are you? No. You wouldn't say this is a very masculine radio show, would you? No. It's not our thing. Yeah. No. It's 2021.

Your thing can be whatever you think you want it to be. That's right. And no one should be judging your thing. Yeah, exactly. Except I'm judging that mullet on your head. I hope you don't mind about that. I've been judging that for probably about two weeks. Even like dropping that contactless drop-off to a friend's place,

they'd see me like, what are you doing with your hair? You can hear that from 20 metres away. But when your mullet is kind of growing out now, because it used to be quite finely shaved up the sides now, it's kind of grown out. It's like you to be quite finely shaved up the sides now. It's kind of grown out. It's like you've come out of the stage musical from Greece or something. It kind of looks like this. I don't know how to wear it.

I don't know how to wear it. I'm struggling, guys. Yeah, it's kind of like he's come out of the stage musical Greece, but he's also preparing for the live rendition of Beverly Hills 90210. Yes. Go full method, it's Brandon Walsh, guys. And that is five For more you can head

To the hits.co.nz After eight o'clock On the show We're going to play Something based around The international smash Head of a TV show The Masked Singer

We're going to play The Face Masked Singer Apparently we've got Someone who is a famous singer On the line And wearing too many Face masks And we need to work out

Who it is We'll do this together After eight o'clock It is the hits Let's go Here we go face masks, and we need to work out who it is. We'll do this together after 8 o'clock. It is the hits. It's AJR. You're on New Zealand's Breakfast. Jono and Ben, the All Blacks, a great victory over Wales in the weekend.

Bowdoin Barrett's 100th game for New Zealand. It's got a try in like three minutes into the game, which is pretty incredible. And look at that stadium, just chock-a-block. They do like their rugby in Wales, don't they? 70,000ales like 70 to 80 000 people i think inside the stadium at the moment i think it was their first game in wales back you know in a full stadium since uh the pandemic started well catherine zeta jones would have been happy and tom jones and the dragon would have been happy as well i don't have any other welsh references i'm sorry but there was a very funny moment that happened just before the game.

The All Blacks were having the anthem, and you might have seen this on the news or on social media. A pitch invader who's pitch invaded a few times over the last couple of years, Jarvo69, and he ran out onto the pitch in full All Black kit and lined up with the All Blacks while they're doing the anthem.

Yeah, now I'm looking at the video here with all the still of the anthem being sung. He's kind of off to the left. And you know, during the anthem, usually the team are embracing each other. They've got their arms around each other. He looks like the member of the team that no one really likes. No one has his arm around him.

He's kind of off a metre to the side. And I don't want to pick at his frame, but he doesn't look like you know he would be an international tester. It's just the line up of the bodies and you're like oh he's new. What does he do? There's one great shot of

Artie Sevier who's sort of midway through looking across like who's this guy as the security sort of come and sort of escort him off while he was trying to stand there with the anthem. He's done cricket as well, international cricket. He's walked out with the, was it the Indian cricketing? Yeah, he did. And then another time he walked out in full English kit as a batsman

and got out there to the middle as well. And I love his response too, because this takes a huge amount of blind confidence to do things like this. I don't know if I would have the guts to. And also like a huge fine and being banned from stadiums and all sorts, you know. But every time he's confronted by security on the field,

he sort of goes at them like, what? I'm meant to be out here. Yeah. And he was doing the same to this lady during the All Blacks game. He's like, no, I've got to finish the anthem. He's sort of explaining himself away. Yeah. Does not draw.

Maybe he's a method gator. We just talked about that before. Jarvo, six-night. It is very funny. After eight o'clock, we play our version of The Masked Singer. No one tell the real show. It is the hits. You got John on.

Going hard and ooley. Go hard, go ooley. Go hard and ooley. Hard and ooley. Go hard. With Jono and Ben. New Zealand's breakfast. Now, The Masked Singer TV show, it's a huge show, you would have heard of it,

and we're going to do our own version, but this is the original. Join the star-studded guessing panel in the celebrity singing show that it's the whole country asking... Who is behind the mask? Great, great show. And we wanted to do our own version of it right now. Wonderful costumes on that show, isn't there? Oh, great show. And we wanted to do our own version of it right now. Wonderful costumes on that show, isn't there? Oh, amazing costumes.

When they said they were doing the New Zealand version, I was like, oh, jeez, they're just going to come out in balaclavas or something. But actually, beautiful costumes, amazing costume department there. So I'll stop banging on about the costume department. I'm in a weird hole talking about how great the costumes were. They were great costumes.

No one's disagreeing with me? Juliet? No, I agree with you, yeah. Our version of the Masked Singer we want to play right now are not quite as amazing costumes but that's okay. Is the Masked Singer still on TV at the moment? Not currently. It was somewhere in the world. Why didn't we do this when the Masked Singer was on? We just had this idea

the other day that a lot of people were wearing face masks obviously in the COVID world, which is a great thing to protect yourself and protect others. So we thought we'd do the face mask singer. See what we did there. So this is a popular singer, international, domestic, we don't know, who has multiple face masks on. And we have to try and decipher who it is.

So please come forward, Masked Singer. Oh, hi, guys. Oh, hello. How you doing? How good were the costumes on the actual Masked Singer? Mine's pretty good now. That's quite muffled, isn't it? We need to work out, and you can guess on 100 of the Hits

or 4487 who our Masked Singer is. Do we get to ask many questions? I haven't thought too much about the format of our game, but go on. Maybe you should have. Juliet, have you got a question? Will you sound Kiwi? You?

Are you a Kiwi? Okay, yes. But you always meant to guess, like, Beyonce and things like that. Oh, okay, should I retract my question? No, we know it now. Is it Celine Dion? No. Not Celine Oh, okay. Should I retract my question? No, we know it now. Is it Celine Dion? No.

Not Celine Dion. Masked singer, have we met you before? Yep. We have. Okay. Masked singer. Face masked singer for copyright purposes. Sorry, I should be saying that.

Face masked singer. What do you have here? Yep. Got here, okay. Now, I don't know the formatics of the game because we're making up the spot, but are we allowed to ask the face mask singer to sing? Is that how this works? I reckon.

Okay. All right, give us a little bit of what you've got. Three muffled face masks. Oh my gosh. They're a great singer. My next guest was Whitney Houston. So let's go. The phones. Oh, under the hits.

4487. Who is our face mask singer? We've got a singer on the phone wearing too many face masks at the moment. It's not Anika, is it? Oh, fine. Is it Anika? Do you want to have a guess? Do we have a guess now?

I'm going to lock in Anika Moore. Okay, we won't find out. Who are you going to go? That's a pretty good guess. Oh, I'm trying to think right now. I was going to go on the show and go something like Taylor Swift has come to New Zealand. She's spent some time in MIQ and things like that.

And she's appeared on our radio show. She's appeared on our radio show. Why couldn't she just do this call in America? Why have you made her fly to New Zealand? I felt like she needed to be in the country for this. I don't know why. You're right. But I'm going to lock in Taylor Swift because that's what they do on the show. Juliet? I don't know if I've got this right, but I was going to lock in Taylor Swift Because that's what they do on the show Juliet? I don't know if I've got this right

But I was going to say Benny Maybe But I know that Benny's voice is relatively distinctive And I feel like, I don't know She could be going to throw you off though Yeah, true Well, two out of those three guesses were serious We'll see if it is Taylor Swift next it next.

Ben and Jono call this show Jono and Ben. Breakfast on the Heads. Back with the FaceMast singer. What we know currently about the person who is on the phone they have hair. They're from New Zealand. And they can belt the hell out of Whitney

Houston. Oh, it was impressive. We just heard this before, but here we have another listen. We're a waste of you. So yeah, I went stupid with Taylor Swift. I'm sorry about that. Waste of guests. I know, but that's what they do on that show.

That's what they do on the Masked Singer show. So I wanted to bring that across to the Face Masked Singer show. Okay, Juliet, you said... Benny, maybe. And I said... Anikamor. We may as well do it like they do on the Masked Singer. Take it off, take it off, take it off, take it off.

We're just talking about your mask. Who is it? It's Holly Smith. Oh! Holly! Holly! Holly Smith. Of course, amazing voice there.

You can sing. Suffocating in there. How many masks did you have on your face? Two masks and a jumper over my head. Oh, yeah. You did sound like one of those people who was, you know, like a whistleblower on some sort of corporate company being interviewed by

60 Minutes, but how you been, Holly? My face is fully pixelated. How's things? Actually, Holly Smith, I was just hearing you've got a new album out. I do have a new album out. That's how we bullied you into this segment. Please.

Oh, it's bloody good to have you on, mate. Now, listen, we don't have any questions prepared, obviously, because we didn't know who we were talking to. What's the name of the album? The album is called Coming In From The Dark. It's got the MVD So on it, New Zealand Symphony Orchestra. It's got Teaks. It's got Solomio.

It's got Razor Beza. It's got my amazing band. It's really,or Beezer, it's got my amazing band. It's really, really awesome. Gee, that was a good spiel there too. Now, when you ask, do you phone up the symphony orchestra and they say, yeah, yeah, we'll come on your album, Solomio, the same? Is it a casual conversation or does it have to go through official channels? But yeah, I just hit the boys up.

It's typical New Zealand fashion. I just asked them on Twitter. Oh, you asked Solomon on Twitter. I always wonder how those collabs come. Yeah, it's very sophisticated, all the channels, the people, and just like, hey, bro, up to you. Up to you. When you do an album, do you end up with any leftovers?

You're like, oh, that was a dud, I won't chuck that on. There is one that didn't make it, just because I wasn't ready. I think it just needs some more percolating. When do you know a song's ready? Have you got a feeling in your guts, or what is it? Just when I don't hate it, really. Do you love a song from the get-go sometimes? I like it when I first make it, or else it won't go anywhere,

and then I'll work on it, and then I'll hate it, and then I'll work on it, and I'll like it. And then I'll work on it and I'll like it. And then I'll finish it and I'll hate it. And then sometimes after that I like it again. Yeah, well, that's like being a me. Yeah, relationship. Love, hate, yeah. But it must be awesome when you get to play it to someone else who hasn't heard it for the first time.

You know, that must be a really cool feeling. Yeah, that's the nervous, anxious part. Who's the first person you run new music past? Oh, kind of in a real self-sabotage-y kind of way, I do my dad, because he's as critical as I am. And so he'll sit there and he won't ask to listen to it. I'm like, do you want to listen to it? He's like, oh, yeah, OK.

And then we'll listen to it. And then we'll just sit there going, well, I like it. Just wondering, you know, if everyone else will like it. Well, I like it because I'm your dad. And then afterwards he'll say things like, you know, you just keep on with that songwriting. That's such a dear thing to say. Holly Smith, her fourth studio album coming in from the dark.

It's out now. Always good to catch up with you, Holly. Thanks, guys. As painful as entering a password on your TV remote, one letter at a time. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast. Hey, this is pretty awesome, something we're giving away at the moment.

If you want to head to themarket.com, it's Jono and Ben's Empty Your Basket with themarket.com, so you can check out their range of incredible items at TheMarket.com. Fill your basket and share with us your wish list at thehits.co.nz for a chance to win all the goodies you desperately want. And on Friday, we'll call one lucky winner and they'll get to clear their basket worth $5,000. Gee whiz, I'm on TheMarket.com right now.

If this was a physical shop and you walked into it, you'd be like, guys, you really haven't sort of nailed your foot to the floor on any particular product. They've got everything, barbecues, lounges, Nutribullets, cell phones, perfume, you name it. Did you want illegal organs from the black market organs? They've got those as well, Jimmy, if you're after a new kidney. They do have millions of products and thousands of brands and making Christmas shopping for everyone easy.

And so up to $5,000, you can put a basket, you can basically put it together, and they'll have it delivered to you by Christmas if you win this on Friday, which is cool. Because at the moment, I know there's a lot of deliveries that are not quite arriving and people getting worried about Christmas. Yeah, I think this is actually Santa's official supplier as well, Santa Claus himself. The great man, St. Nick, does all of his present getting from here too. He's actually elves. They've all been laid off just in time for Christmas. Very sad, it's bleak.

COVID. Yeah, so head to thehits.co.nz for all the details and how you can beat the rush and skip the Christmas queues by shopping at themarket.com with Jono and Ben's Empty the Basket with themarket.com with Jono and Ben's Empty the Basket with themarket.com. Beyond the Hits, Jono and Ben. Now, Skinny, great supporters of this show. We're friends with Skinny, and they've got a great ad on TV where they've got famous names.

People in New Zealand with famous names that voice the Skinny ads or take part in the Skinny ads. And we've been looking for a new one. Yeah, really the most affordable famous names in the world, aren't they, that Skinny are using? Because that's what they do. You know, they spend money on things that matter, Ben. Not like you. You're sinking the show with your reckless spending ways, isn't he, Juliet? They do. It's like, why do we need a giant unicorn on wheels in the office?

He's like, trust me. Yeah, Skinny, spend money on what really matters. Like a great network, an amazing amazing service that's what they do and uh we've been looking for someone else with a famous name so they could voice a radio ad for him well it all started with a vicious prank to a heartless prank where we thought we were going to interview michael j fox and then it turned out michael j fox was michael j fox from pukakawi who turned up on the on the zoom call which uh you know he was a lovely guy. Don't get me wrong. But if you had the choice, would you have dedicated an interview slot

to Michael J. Fox? Well, it wouldn't have prepared so much for that. But we have had a couple of other famous names, people in New Zealand with famous names as well, that have entered this competition. Who do we have? We know Tina's your first name. We don't know your last.

Turner. Tina Turner. Tina Turner. Certainly the best. Oh my goodness. She abruptly said that's what everyone references as soon as she says her name and then we felt bad, didn't we? Instantly bad. Also spoke to a

very well-known actress. Are you Julia Roberts? I am, yes. Well done. Julia Roberts in Canterbury. Yeah. of all places and all these people throughout the last seven days have been in the draw to win $3,000 and become the official

voice of our radio show which is a prize money can't buy so we're going to call the winner right now and we had a lot of fun talking to this particular individual, didn't we? we did he couldn't be more far removed from the famous version of himself if he tried.

Will he answer with the full name or just the first name? I'd go first and last if I was him. Oh, would you? Yeah. I'd be, hello, hello. Hello, Jason speaking. Oh, is that

lawnmower Jason Statham? That is indeed, my friend. How are you? It's John Owen Bairn calling. We're doing all right. Yeah, good man, good man. Mowing lawns this morning? I am indeed. I'm at the Waikato University at the moment. Oh, nice. Well, your namesake's probably over in Hollywood making action movies. This man is rolling his sleeves up.

This is Jason Statham in mowing lawns. Jason, we're calling to tell you, you've won $3,000. Oh, you little beauty. Yeah, the boys. Go for it. Thank you very much, lads. No worries. It's handy for Christmas.

Well, thank you for having a very famous name. Thank my parents. You said the only thing you and Jason Statham have in common is what? My bald head and a hairy chest. That's where the similarities start and finish. Nah, that's about it. Well done, mate. Nah, that's awesome, man.

Wicked. Thank you very much. Enjoy that. Well, thanks to our friends at Skinny. Thank you for having a famous last name. Yeah, no, thank you very much, everybody. Wicked. Oh, doesn't he seem like a lovely gentleman?

Yeah, he's awesome. Now, Ben, some controversy surrounding the bird of the year competition Oh you just heard the winner for the bird of the year And everyone's like what New Zealand gets heavily invested in the bird of the year for some reason It's the only light we have in this Deep dark dark time Yeah we'll tell you who won the bird of the year next

On the hits Now we talked about this before A bit of controversy around New Zealand's 2021 Bird of the Year competition. It seems like every year it's hotly contested the Bird of the Year. It is, yeah, and we sort of throw all reasoning out the window, don't we, and get heavily invested in the Bird of the Year. There was some controversy this year that a bat was up for nomination. And the reason they do it, New Zealand Forest and Bird, is because apparently 80% of our birds, our native birds, are in trouble. And 100% of bats are in trouble.

Yeah. Really? So that's why they put the bat in, basically. To get it some press, some good press. To raise some awareness and support the little flying furball. And it's captured the hearts of the nation. The winner this year to the Batmobile. Let's go, because the bat has won a bird of the nation. The winner this year to the Batmobile. Let's go, because the bat has won a bird of the year.

Now, I'm thinking recount. Obviously, 100% of bats are in trouble. They're obviously one of the votes. Well, I've got the votes, the tally of the votes. Now, the long-tailed bat, 7,031 votes. And the next in the bird of the year competition, the kākāpō, 4,000 votes so almost double. Yeah obviously sympathy votes for the bat as well

fair enough too, a win's a win isn't it, but is it our bird of the year Ben? If you're going to pick out of all the wonderful birds that we have in this country. The bat is the bird of the year, the spokesperson for Forest and Birds New Zealand Laura, she said I think I'm going to be fired is what she wrote in this article that I'm reading.

Because the bat has won bird of the year. The batman. So well done. I mean, I don't mind a poo kicker. You know, a cheeky poo kicker. Not bad, I would chuck that up. How about you? What would you throw in there? If you had to pick one bird that we have here. I like the care.

I do really love the care. I love its attitude. I love like, it's a little bit cheeky. It's, you know, Is the care that picks the rubber around your windscreen out? Yeah. Yeah.

And beautiful, beautiful birds, you know, as well. There's so many birds up. Yeah. How do you even choose? Now we're getting hot on it, eh? We're like, why is this a thing?

And now we're like, oh, it's pretty good, this, you know? The care's pretty cool. Ben tried to start a bird of the year thing with all the office people here, didn't he? No one was on board with it. Juliet, I talked to Juliet. I sent Juliet an email.

I was like, I don't know if this is very 2021, Juliet. It's an open fly, eh? But do you want to enter? Ben's asked me. These birds aren't flying, that's for sure. Oh, jeez. All right, we're wrapping it up there. That's it, guys.

We're done. Have yourself a great Monday, New Zealand. We must mention, too, the five words for tomorrow's five words are going to be online at thehits.co.nz. Yeah. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from sex on The Hits and via the iHeartRadio app.

Jono and Ben on The Hits Breakfast. Friends of Skinny. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh.