Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: Introducing The Level 3 Adult Hotline...

Episode Date: September 2, 2021

Yes, you read that correctly. if you're in Level 4 right now and dreaming about being in Level 3, boy do we have something for you. Just you wait. It's worth it. We were also joined by TWO OF THE GREATS, the two lead stars of the critically acclaimed 1pm press conference! Ashley Bloomfield & Jacinda Ardern. We spoke to Ashley about what went through his mind when Chris Hipkins told the nation to spread their legs, and we spoke to Aunty Cindy about whether she actually is an aunty in real life, and she gave us a lovely little insight into her family! As well as this, we learnt that Ben's daughters listen to the radio FAR too much. They know ALL THE JINGLES, and Ben brought some evidence to the show. Enjoy the poddy!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

John O' and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of John O' and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the John O' and Ben podcast. Hey, guys, welcome. Tuesday the 2nd, Thursday the 2nd, sorry, September.

It's John O' and Ben back at you. Back for another podcast, we're here Ben, boys, you've got a mask wrapped around your neck looking like a million dollars. I don't know if I'm looking like a million dollars, but I'm hanging in there. You don't like the ear hooks, don't you? You prefer your rubber, your elastic bands on your mask. Oh, I've got a choice that's, yeah. Just go around your head, top of your head. I find, yeah, because I find that it makes me look like a trophy. When the ears, it makes my ears stick out.

That's all right. But it's still safe. So I wear them if I need to. But if I get the option, I wear one. And then you can kind of just keep it around your neck. And then you don't have to lose it. I saw someone the other day had a good one. It was kind of like a sock without the end on it, you know.

And it was wrapped around their neck. You know, they could pull it up. Oh, yeah. Have you seen those? No. So you kind of pull it up so it sits on your neck, but you pull it up over your nose. Almost like a scarf type thing.

Yeah, but it comes in as a mask option. I thought that was a really clever invention. Some great inventions. That's right. People are diversifying, aren't they? Over the last 12 months. Yeah, I know my chemist was hocking off some bootleg hand sanitizer. Yeah.

Last lockdown. Remember we had no hand sanitizer anywhere? Yeah, that's right. It was like a world shortage, wasn't it? Full panic mode. And now we've probably got too much of it, I mean, because everyone's probably trying to manufacture it. Yeah, but we're still panicking the toilet paper, aren't we?

Yeah, I don't know why that is. It's like we threw it last lockdown and everyone, there was toilet paper. I mean, we make a lot of it in New Zealand, you know, so it's like we're fine. But anyway, people love to make sure they've got toilet paper.

Well, yeah. I mean, the first thing you worry about when there's a pandemic is how you're going to wipe, isn't it? That's your first major concern. Have you been to the supermarket yet?

Amanda goes in our family. Oh, yeah? Yeah. So, yes. What year is it? The 1960s, mate? in our family. I am. So, yes. What year is it? The 1960s, mate? No, mate. I'm just saying we have one person that does it, and yeah.

No, I'm only joking. Yeah. Normally, I do, but probably it's my thing. But she wanted to go on the weekend because she was getting some stuff for her mum as well. So, I was like, hey. No, it's a good thing to do and to get out of the house. Who would have thought that going to the supermarket would be the most exciting thing in any person's day when you're in lockdown?

That's all you really can do, eh? Except, well, level three now, mate. Level three. Yeah, people can go out, can't they? But it's a two or three hour exercise, the supermarket. I went the other night, the other day. Shee whiz. Tell you what, you block out a good percentage of your day

just going to the supermarket now. Yeah, a lot going on, right? Yeah, that's right. Coming up on the show we had Jacinda Ardern, Prime Minister. She joined us didn't know she had a sister. She tells us all about her Yeah, that was interesting wasn't it? Yeah, so older sister too

Older sister and Ashley Bloomfield as well. We've got all your government propaganda in this podcast. Don't you worry about it. Director General of Health is with us as well. Enjoy Tested safe for listening from home. Keep safe. And that's all I have to say.

Thanks, Dr Ashley. John Owen Penn. New Zealand's breakfast. Yesterday was the first full day of everyone south of Auckland being able to get takeaways again. Takeaway coffees, pizzas, drive-thrus. Saw on the news, big queues outside drive-thrus all over uh new zealand as people waited for their fix of takeaways and boy did the media have a

field day with it i mean we're we're still having a field day with it we're still on the field and it's because it's a new angle in the pandemic yeah you're right you know spare a thought for your radio shows your breakfast tv shows just looking for angles cheeky little angles here there and everywhere and we're all just waiting for that takeaway angle you need something you're right when chris hipkins said you know spread your legs i was more happy than the uh the media in new zealand they're like great we got angles on now you know the golden goose pooped an egg out and we were very very happy with that one but you know you got to think of it for aucklanders who are in level four think of it in a positive light. If this was an apartment building,

you'd be in the penthouse. Top level. Level four, baby, but it's not an apartment. It's a pandemic, and we're trapped in lockdown. It's like we're in the basement. Yeah, if anything, they're trying to hide us. What's down there? Don't go down there. No, you definitely don't want to go down there.

We haven't been down there in years. The family members you're ashamed of. But yeah, Auckland, you definitely don't want to go down there. We haven't been down there in years. The family members are ashamed of. But Auckland, you know, people in Auckland and Northland at the moment can't get takeaways. They can't go out and get those things. So we've set up an adult line, especially for them to relive their fantasies. Are you an Aucklander stuck in level four lockdown? Do you have certain desires? Certain fantasies? Well, now there's an 0900 number perfect for you.

The Level 3 Adult Hotline. Well, guess where I am right now? I'm in Christchurch at level three. Oh, yeah. I remember level three. Keep talking to me. Guess what I just had in my mouth. You tell me.

Tell me what you put in your mouth. Please tell me. Takeaway. Oh, God. Were they what you put in your mouth. Please tell me. Takeaway. Oh, God. Were they greasy? Yeah, greasy and very satisfying. I want my mouth to be greasy and satisfying. Phone up and you can take away all your level three takeaway fantasies.

On the phone, because you can't go get any. So, uh, you just left your house. Yeah, and then I picked up it real hot. Oh, tell me what you picked up. Coffee from a cafe made by a train barista. Oh, yeah. Tell me more. A flat white. It was hot and creamy. Oh, I remember those.

For those who want a bit of level four play while dreaming of level three. Oh, yeah. It must have been dirty. Was it dirty? No, not at all. There were actually no dishes whatsoever. Oh my God, and you didn't even have to cook it? No, someone else did that for me. The level three adult hotline. It's hot and steamy, like a pizza. And then afterwards, I got takeaways delivered to my door. Hot, steamy slices of pizza.

Oh, I want some of those now. That was a great call. Thanks for that, Mum. You're welcome, darling. Are you looking after yourself? Yeah, I am. I am, yeah. All right, darling.

Talk to you later. All right. Love to, Dad. Bye. New Zealand's breakfast. This is Jono and Ben on The Hits Morning, it is The Hits, you've got Jono and Ben Just gone 8 o'clock on your Thursday

The Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern Is joining us right now 8 o'clock, bang on the dot Do you punch your Prime Minister? I try You're always on time Jacinda Ardern You've got a lot going on, and you're always punchable. Oh, my mother would be very disappointed if I kept anyone waiting.

Oh, really? Is that what she raised you on? Don't even leave anyone hanging. Oh, the whole family, actually. Probably even with my dad, with my mum. Yeah. Oh, really? It's just us, though.

It's just Jono and Ben. I mean, it's fine. I mean, everyone would understand. No, no, no. How would you pull out your prank phone calls if I was late? Well, true. We'll be going to other people and they'll be like, what? They won't get the game.

No, I promise you, Jacinda Ardern, you've got a pretty successful TV show at the moment. The 1pm press conference is a raging success. We've got a show starting next week, Jono and Ben Good Sports on TVNZ2. I mean, you come on our show to plug, you know, plug your stuff. We're like, well, hey, baby, at a press conference, you can say, be kind and also be watching John O'Byrne Good Sports TV 2 Thursday, 8 o'clock. What do you reckon? We'll leave that with you. We'll leave it with you.

Don't give us an answer now. I've never promoted Clark's show. I think he might get a little bit up. Oh, yeah. Clark's got his show, doesn't he? Yeah, my fish of the day. Yeah, it's just like, we're here plugging your show. I just thought it was a bit of, you know, patting back such a...

Yeah, okay, all right, fair enough. The Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern, is going to stick around. We've got to find out if she's had any takeaways, and when can Auckland get out of Level 4? When does she think? We'll find out next with Jacinda Ardern. It is the hits. But that was when it is the hits.

It's Coldplay, it is the hits. The John O'Ban, 10 past 8. The Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern, is on the phone right now. Or Aunty Cindy, as a lot of people like to call you. Do you like that nickname, Prime Minister? Do you know, even since I was an intermediate, I had a school teacher that used to call me Auntie Jack. So I've been called Auntie for a very long time, relatively speaking.

Are you an actual auntie? I am an actual auntie. I wasn't at that time. Of course, it's immediate, but I am an actual auntie, yeah. But no, I've no problem with the auntie part, and I've gotten used to the Cindy part. Oh, okay. So Cindy would be the preferred nickname for you. But hey, you've no problem with the auntie part, and I've gotten used to the Cindy part. Oh, okay. So Cindy would be the preferred nickname for you. But hey, you're rolling with it.

Yep. Jack was my nickname, but that one didn't catch on as much as Cindy, obviously. Lockdown for you and Clark. Where is the fam? Yeah, same as we did last time. We're down here in Wellington, so our life basically revolves around just the house

and, for me, a little bit bigger with the beehives. I see. So you can get takeaways back up here in Auckland. We can't. I see how this works. Yeah, well played. Oh, no, none of that has occurred yet. I'm probably in part out of solidarity.

No. Now, don't lie to us, Ardo, and have you had a barista-made coffee? Tell us about it. I got given half of one yesterday when I was rationed around the office. Yeah, all rationed around the office. Well, shit, it all took us about a minute.

Apparently, that's what you do now. No. Now, you keep in the press conference holding up signs with graphs on it, and you're like, the memes, the memes. I mean, what's your favourite meme that you've seen someone Photoshop? To be honest, I'd only seen one or two, but

I'm not sure that I can say it in polite company. It was a take on Minister Chris Hipkins' recent advice. Oh, I got you, Chris Hipkins. What was the WhatsApp Labour group like after that? I mean, they must have got a wee bit of roasting. A roasting would be an understatement. That was actually how I found out about it. I didn't see it happen live in person, but I suddenly saw a lot of ribbing from colleagues. Just a barrage of mocking from all the Labour MPs.

He's taking it well, though, hasn't he? Every time he walks into the room, you're probably like, spreading the legs, are you, Chris? Now, Jacinda Ardern, if you were going to predict the future, when would Auckland ideally be out of Level 4? Gosh, well, I would prefer that it would be as soon as possible, of course. But we just want to make sure that when we do it, we do it once and we do it right.

So I tend not to crystal ball gaze with COVID. It's tricky. Everyone's doing the very best they can. I mean, everyone's compliance is really good, but I know it's hard. I know it's really hard. The thing that caught me last night, though, guys, the hospitalisation rate, the Delta, it's really high. You will have seen that a number of cases where a lot of people in hospitals And young people too, you know. And young people, yes, that's right. We've got one that's

as young as, I believe, 18. And so what I would say is that it probably sounds like a grand statement, but people are literally protecting one another from a really, really, a really awful illness. So I know that it doesn't make it any easier, but that is literally what everyone in Auckland is doing right now. Yeah, I don't think anyone's questioning it here, to be honest. But the ICU in hospital, is that under immense pressure at the moment?

No, so we've got, you know, across the country, we have capacity in our ICUs, and we also have surge capacity for our ICUs, so we do have the ability to bring additional capacity in, and that's unfortunately some of the preparedness we've had to do with COVID. So that is possible. So no, we've got capacity. And quickly before you go, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern, I've googled the most asked questions about Jacinda Ardern. I want to see if you pass this test, okay?

First question. First most asked question about Jacinda Ardern on Google, what is special about Jacinda Ardern? Oh. What is special about Jacinda Ardern? Oh, really? That's a good one. Isn't it funny? I immediately added tone to that question. What is special? And I know knowing you and having spoken to you previously,

you're not going to say what's special. You're very humble. But the answer was she became the world's youngest female head of government at age 37. That's what's so special about you. Oh, well, there you go. I'll tell you, when I was in opposition, someone once told me it used to be whether or not my teeth were real. Oh, really? That was the most special thing.

Well, there's a new special thing. Yeah, there you go. Here's the second question. What degree does Jacinda Ardern have? A degree? I studied at Waikato University, so I have a Bachelor of Communication Studies, but mostly I studied international relations.

Well, there we go. Well, you're going to get into broadcasting. Oh, it was kind of more business comms. I did it through the management school. Okay. And the third question, does Jacinda Ardern have any siblings? You've already answered that with you're an auntie, but who's your brother or sister?

I have an older sister. She's 18 months older than me. What does she do? She's actually a scientist. What's her name? Her name's Louise. Louise Ardue. There we go.

We are very, very different. Wow, there we go. We're finding out all sorts about you. Being a scientist, is she texting you every now and then going, wrong call, sis, wrong call? No, she works in quality assurance for pharmaceutical companies. That used to be her background, but now she works with her husband on their business. We're learning lots today, and thank you so much for your time.

We really do appreciate it. I know how busy you are, but you're always punctual. Thank you. I will always remain punctual. Have a great day, everyone. Look after yourselves. You too. Jono and Ben, just like family.

The family members you're ashamed of. Now, of course, we've been in lockdown here in the 09. All around New Zealand, we have been in various stages of lockdown. And one thing my two daughters have been doing a lot of is, because they're not going off to school, they just put the radio on in the morning at home, listen to the show, which is awesome. And then the radio just kind of stays on throughout the day on the hits,

which is great. But I have noticed now that something- It's great for that extended listening, which is so important to radio. Workday listening. A lot of radio at the moment. And I did notice yesterday, I was walking down the hallway and I could hear the two of them. I think they were playing Minecraft together in one of their of their rooms and they were singing out loud and I was

just like hang on they're not singing a song they're singing a jingle from the radio now they've so they've listened to the radio so much they're starting to remember all the jingles oh the jingles are you know the least requested but the most played music we have on the station it goes uh grab one saint pier's, and then pink. That's the order of who gets the most airtime on this program. Yeah, so I went in there, and as I do it, as you like to mock me for, I recorded them. And I was like, hey, what were you singing?

And then I just went on the spot into some other jingles. Is this consensual recording? Yeah, they knew they were there. I was doing it, and they knew a lot of jingles. What were you singing? We're crazy about kitchens at Kitchen Maniac Gaming. You're singing radio jingles. They're so catchy.

Yeah, they're catchy. I've heard you singing other ones before. What about, you're proud to own a Jenny at home. You're proud to own a Jenny at home. Okay, that was a good one. What about new deals every day? Grab one! Grab one!

Okay, I'll think of one more. Oh, St. Pierre's. Gotta love our sushi. St. Pierre's, it's always fresh and healthy. There's so many choices, we'll make it your way. Check out the sushi value of the day St. Pierre's

St. Pierre's St. Pierre's St. Pierre's St. Pierre's St. Pierre's St. Pierre's St. Pierre's St. Pierre's say, Pierre's. Pierre, the saint of sushi, he's actually recorded a full three-and-a-half-minute version of that song.

Yeah, he has. I think it's going to be nominated for a Grammy next year. It should be. So, yeah, I don't know what sort of thing or what I'm doing, you know, to my daughters, you know, as far as, you know, letting them... Mate, what you're doing is getting them accustomed to the wonders of commercial radio, okay? An industry that'll be around forever.

You know, they kept saying it was meant to end 10 years ago. They did. We're still here. Yeah. Cockroaches and us will survive a nuclear explosion. And we're here because thanks to St. Pierre. It'll be like the end of the world. Like this pandemic will ruin the world,

but then all of a sudden, if you're the last person alive, like Will Smith in a movie, all you'll hear is, Saint Ben, just playing in the distance. There's some life out there. The radio's got to be around for you. From the socially distantly safe two metres,

stay away. This is New Zealand's Breakfast with Jono and Ben. Yo, that's Jono and Ben, 7.18. Of course, yesterday was the first day that levels changed from 4 to 3. It was the first day also the vaccinations opened up to pretty much everyone. 12 plus, yeah. Yeah, good stuff. And, you know, we're joined by now one of the two lead characters in the critically acclaimed 1 p.m. television show,

The 1 p.m. Update. I think it's only actually got one critic that shows Hosking. He's not a big fan of the female lead in that program. No, you're right. But we are joined by the Director General of Health, the one and only Ashley Bloomfield. Good morning. Kia ora, good morning.

Nice to talk to you. Now, they've called you the curb crusher before. Are we starting to crush this curb, hopefully? Signs are good, are they? Well, the signs are looking good, and we can expect the numbers to bounce around a bit they did last April when we were on our way down so if the

number goes up people shouldn't worry but we're heading in the right direction and the reason for that is people are doing the right thing and it's a tough gig up in Auckland another couple of weeks in Alert Level 4 I've got family and friends up there it's not an easy time but if people just hold their nerve

and we keep doing what we're doing, we'll get around it. Can you send us Big Macs? Send us a Big Mac from Wellington or something. Yeah, I don't know about a Big Mac. I won't be going out to get one of those. Maybe a takeaway coffee. A coffee, yeah. Put it on a courier or something.

As Aucklanders, we're missing our flat whites, that's for sure. Now, I've learned to live with Giotto. I've had to do that over the past decade, but are we going to have to learn to live with COVID in New Zealand? Is that something that's going to be a reality

in the future? Well, COVID is here to stay around the globe. It's not going away and we're still in the middle of that initial pandemic phase. You know, we will get through the pandemic

and it will become like many of these other viruses, like the flu, like the common cold. But at the moment, our approach is we're not prepared to live with it because at the moment, living with it means people dying with it. So we're going to stick with our plan at the moment to keep it out and, of course, vaccinate as many people as possible. So our booking system for vaccination, anyone 12 and over, so that's you young guys, can now book your vaccines if you haven't had them already and get on and do it.

I was in the 70-plus category, so I'm already vaxxed up there, Mr Bloomfield. Now, Ashley, I do have a question for you because I noticed you when Hippo, Chris Hipkins, he said, get out there and spread your legs. And there was a look on your face. You had a wonderful glint in your eye. What was the first thing you said to Chris Hipkins as you were walking off down the hallway after that press conference?

Oh, I can't remember, but I can tell you at the time I was just trying to stop myself from cracking up laughing. I didn't think that would be a good look on my television. He had a moment. He had like, oh, I said that slightly wrong. Oh, when I said that, yeah, you could tell he was sort of second guessing what he said. I think he did pretty well because he just paused slightly and I sort of, you know, did a bit of an eyebrow race. I don't even remember doing that, but I was just thinking, okay, hold it together here.

Hold it together. Pull it back. Oh, you've done such a great job. Are you getting, in all seriousness, are you getting any sleep? You know, because it must be a very taxing job and has been for you over the last 12 months or so. Oh, look, it's taxing for everybody, the uncertainty. And I've got people in the building here and right around the health care system and in the public service who are working really hard, long hours at the moment

to get ahead of this outbreak. So, yeah, we're all probably not getting as much sleep as we should. But actually, I'm really encouraged by what's happening around the country and in Auckland. And if we just keep going, we will get around it. And I always ask the question when I give advice around the alert level change, do we need to and is it going to work? And the answer is yes, actually. And it's really clear that even in this case, we had just one case in the community,

but look what happened in a few days. So it was the right thing to do but also we know from our past experience it's going to work. So just hold your nerve, New Zealand. Listen, no one's questioning your approach to it, Dr Bloomfield, that's for sure. Apart from Ben Boyce.

I'm not doing anything. He's always like, I don't know about that call. He won't hit you up now about it though. Dr Ashley Bloomfield, thank you so much for your time. We know how busy you are, and thanks for doing everything you can to keep us safe. Cheers, have a good day.

You too, mate. New Zealand's breakfast. This is Jono and Ben on the hits. Kia ora, good morning. Welcome along to the show. It is a Thursday morning. Level three, I hope you're enjoying out the takeaways yesterday. I saw lots of people on the news lining up for takeaways.

You know, in level four, we're still ploughing on through level four. The roads are generally quite empty. And yesterday, I was at a roundabout. There was no other traffic apart from a bus and a guy in a van. And the bus accidentally just pulled out a little bit and he blocked the guy in the van. And the guy in the van and the bus accidentally just pulled out a little bit and he blocked the guy

in the van and the guy in the van was honk! Oh really? Did the birds, full road rage and I've missed that road rage. I've missed seeing middle fingers and aggressive drivers yelling at people. That's what I miss and it was good to just get a little taste of it back on a completely

empty roundabout. Yeah right. Where he could have just waited for the bus to go, but no. Well, hopefully we get back to takeaways and road rage soon. You can get more of that as we move down the levels. Yeah, love road rage. I've been yelling at myself as I've been driving to work, just to get a taste of it. We've got a big show today. We're joined by Dr Ashley Bloomfield. We're joined

by the Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern. Two of the lead cast members from the 1pm show. Yeah. It is a big show as well as five. One of them will have a reunion like the Friends show in 10 years. Get them all back together again. Get Chris Hipkins talking about spread your legs. It is a big show.

Stick with us. It should be lots of fun. You've got Jono and Ben on the hits. Another day at home with the kids. Little tip, it's called parenting, not babysitting. Jono and Ben. New Zealand's Breakfast. Hey, great to have you with us, Saltero. No matter where you are,

we love you all. Yeah. Don't we? That's a bad statement to say, because I don't know, do we love them all? Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. What if some of them have done some despicable things? Yeah, drill down on it. But you still love them all, that's up to you, Ben. Yeah, well, that's right.

You're forgiving. Yeah. You know, a lot of kids being homeschooled at the moment. And what I've noticed is coming back home, we arrive home about midday-ish sort of thing, is you sort of arrive back halfway through the school day. There's a lot of fluff pieces going on in the curriculum at the moment. A lot of filler content, isn't there?

I literally got home the other day and Oscar's big challenge, my son's big challenge, was to put a roll of toilet paper on his head and he had to squat down and then lie on his back with the toilet paper on his head without the toilet paper falling off and then he had to get back up. This was part of the school day. That was PE. Oh, wow.

It was a difficult challenge like it was a wonderful task i see why the teacher did it it's like oh this will buy me 60 minutes or so and it did and it did and uh another thing that poppy had to do yesterday was she had to create using a toilet roll and strips of paper like a old timely spy code machine where you wrap a strip of paper around the table. Anyway, I won't get into details. It's boring me even talking about it.

There are a lot of toilet roll based. This is why there's the panic buying. Yeah, because parents know that eventually, you know, four weeks into homeschooling, everything's going to be toilet roll based education. But what I did realise yesterday is it's not that hard for your child to think you're an absolute legend like their scope and their bar for legendary status is set very low yeah until a certain stage until they become teenagers and then you're the the worst but i'm still in that sweet spot with poppy who's eight so she's like oh can you cut

strips of paper and I was like yeah I'll cut you some strips of paper and I cut them and she's like wow you're the straightest cutter I've ever seen that's so good and I'm like this is you know I should hang out with kids more often. Because it's really, really good for your self-esteem. You kind of see that. I kind of always wish we kind of got TV shows for kids. You know, it kind of feel like they're less judgmental. They're not bullying you on the internet just yet, are they? You know, the Wiggles are going around.

Imagine if the Wiggles was a show for teenagers or adults. You suck, Anthony! Oh, Anthony, you're a boober! But he's still loved by and adored by his demograph, isn't he? And I'm like, oh, let it go, mate. It's sad you're still doing what... You know, he's still like, God, I'm your mate, you're out there doing it.

Shoot, shoot, chugga, chugga, you big red loser. You know, stuff like this on the internet. You're dead right. You're dead right. And, hey, I'm well aware that if I went on Got Talent and they were like, Simon Cowell's like, what's your talent? I'm like, I can cut some pretty straight paper. I'm not getting buzzed through went on Got Talent, and they were like, Simon Cowell's like, what's your talent? I'm like, I can cut some pretty straight paper.

I'm not getting buzzed through the second round. No, you're right. He's not going to be quite as impressed by that. But, yeah, so I'm just going to spend my days around eight-year-olds who think you're a legend for doing life's most simple tasks. I got a text from a friend, actually, who makes me think of it the other day, which I think he's stolen from the internet.

But he's like, I have some unfortunate news, guys. My kids have been expelled from homeschool and i've quit my teaching job that was pretty good for all the parents out there it is 6 12 year old the hits hard-hitting interviews and informed opinion mike hosking on news talks at b in the meantime here's jono and ben the hits morena it is jono and ben with you on a th Thursday morning and now yesterday, together. We all came together, even though we may be in different levels, level three, level four, we all came together as the old team,

the old gang, the old team of five million. We're united against COVID and then we also united against the New Zealand Herald's .co.nz daily quiz. Yeah, it's been a dream of mine to get 10 out of 10 since lockdown started. I've struggled on my own to get anywhere near that, so we all came together without any Googling and we mine to get 10 out of 10 since lockdown started. I've struggled on my own to get anywhere near that, so we all came together without any Googling,

and we managed to get 10 out of 10, and here was the final answer. Finn and Jake in the cartoon series Adventure Time, what is the magical land they live in? This is the 10 out of 10. This is my dream. We're going to head to Northland. Daniel from Dargaville, double D.

What are you thinking? Are you confident? Oh, very, mate, very. I think it is the land of oo. Oo? Oh, oh, oh? Here we go. Okay.

10 out of 10. The 10th question. Come on, Daniel. Yeah! You got 10 out of 10 great answers. Take a screenshot. We got 10 out of 10. We're talking over each other.

It was very exciting, wasn't it? It was a great moment. But then as I was driving home, I was like, well, we really need to break down how many questions did we answer. I only answered one about Gordon Gekko being Michael Douglas. Very confident about Gordon Gekko. I think I got one about the Incredible Hulk, and that was about it. You're right.

So well done to you, listening, for answering eight out of those ten questions. And us? Producer Juliet came through. Oh, you did too. and that was about it. You're right. So well done to you listening for answering eight out of those ten questions and us. Producer Juliet came through. Oh you did too. George Orwell baby 1984 the Big Brother question. What was that? What book ends in

He loves Big Brother or He loves Big Brother or something. And you just popped up out of nowhere. Oh no. Like some sort of silent genius.

Yes I'll claim that. It was like you almost and you were like what did I just say? You said the answer, did I? I don't know where it came from, but you got there. Yeah, so thanks so much, New Zealand. We got together.

We got 10 out of 10 on the New Zealand Herald Twiz. And if you think, you know, you haven't achieved anything this lockdown, well, now you have. We all have. 10 out of 10 on the quiz. Scrolling through your feed. Thanks to his slim light frame, he's the lightest newsreader in the game. But also thanks to that light frame, he's not strong enough to read heavy news. So you're only going to get the fluff pieces here.

What's been happening overnight, Ben? I'm going to give another shout-out to the awesome Sophie Pascoe. Yesterday she won her 11th Paralympic gold medal. Now, we talked yesterday she won a gold medal the day before. Well, she won another one overnight. After the race, she'd given it everything literally. She vomited she even blacked out and received oxygen after the race. She won by just

0.27 seconds. She said I left it all out there and some of it on the side of the pool as well. So how incredible is she? I mean that's 19 medals now with 11 Paralympic golds. Good. What we should do is let's just record something now and go Are you recording June?

Yes. Congratulations Sophie Pascoe on another gold medal win. She's so good. So good. And then we'll just play that for the next 10 days. Yeah. Copy and paste. Incredible. Vomiting and blacking out. Yeah. It's like you after a radio show. He gives it his all. Leaves it

all in here. There's no words that this man show. He gives it his all. Just give it. Leaves it all in here. Yeah. There's no words that this man could say at 9 o'clock. Now, of course, yesterday was the first day that the levels changed around New Zealand. Everyone south of Auckland went from level 4 to level 3, and that meant a lot of takeaways. And, I mean, a lot of people, I don't know if a lot of people were sparing thoughts for Aucklanders,

not being able to get takeaways, but on the AM show yesterday, Mark Richardson, you'll know him, he's the host of The Block, former cricketer, he wanted people to spare a thought for his struggles right now in Level 4. I'd need some hydrochloric acid for the swimming pool. It's going to start to not make chlorine. You know, I'm lying awake going, God, when's that pool going to go green? I don't want that pool to go green.

Because the valet, the pool boy, can't come, can he? That keeps me awake at night. Under Level 3, I can get that hydrochloric acid. These are all things that level three ease. Yeah, so spare a thought for Mark Richardson. His pool's going green, guys. Now, come on. I hope Ashley, we've got Ashley after seven o'clock.

Maybe we should ask him to pull down to level three just so his pool boy can come over. His pool boy? Bring over a pool boy? Sounds odd. Really? Yeah. Mark's pool boy.

It does. So you guys are very thoughtful of Mark Richardson. Yeah, you do. He's doing it tough. You know, he's doing it tough at his mansion. Yeah, it's tough out there. You never want your pool turning green, do you? No, no.

No, not tunes. But those are the sorts of things that Ashley doesn't think about. Yeah, yeah, you're right. You know, people's more thinking about keeping us safe and stuff, right? You know, can I talk about my issues, actually? Yeah, yeah, you're right. You know, people's more thinking about keeping us safe and stuff, right? You know, can I talk about my issues, actually? Yeah, yeah, you can. My Lamborghini gets valeted once every week. Oh, but you can't get it valeted at the moment.

No, I'm a little valet boy. Can't come over and polish my Lamborghini. I've made that sound even weirder somehow. And that is scrolling through your feed this morning, some of the biggest news. Hey, next we're going to look at some non-COVID-related news. Oh, look, here's some news that's just come through. New Zealand's oldest person has just died.

Aged 109. 109. Wow. Wonderful winnings. Yeah, well, you're right. 109. Yeah, that's a big effort. I don't want to live to 109.

No, you won't. You haven't got long to live. Look at you now, you look 109. You won't. Don't worry about that. That's not a concern. 6.34, you're on the hits. Should have looked both ways before I let you cross my mind Didn't see it coming cause I've never seen your kind

Zero to hundred ain't too fast But you had a thousand just like that Yeah, so run that back cause you so bad Let's do this one more time Ooh, please don't go Ooh, please don't go Thought I made the rules until you redefined the game Tryna keep it cool but damn you fire like a flame

Every move I make you match You know how to light me up like that, yeah Wish I didn't want it but I do so won't you stay? Please don't go, don't go Please don't go, don't go You could be the end of me If it kills me, I still want you as a ghost Yeah, I would give you anything, just please don't go Oh, I hope you're happy that you ruined me for good. Set the boat too high.

I swear you always knew you would. I don't know how I will survive if I let you walk out of my life. So come on back to bed and let's wake up the neighborhood. Kia ora, I'm Rachel Jackson-Lees and this is the B***h News. Whether it's a man who's growing a donkey's tail or a woman whose fingernails are a kilometre long, you'll hear about it in this part of the programme. What's this, Ju? So I find some headlines that I think you might find quite interesting,

beep out some words and you guys have the fun of it, of trying to guess what the headline might be. Courtesy of our newsreader, Rachel Jackson-Leeds. Yes, the first news story. A new **** book has been released. Well, I'm hoping if it's a new book, I'm hoping it's Harry Potter, just because I love to hear producer Juliet say, Harry Potter.

Harry Potter. Oh, it's Harry Potter. It's my favourite book. I love Harry Potter. So I'm hoping it's Harry Potter. Where did Harry Potter end? Could it continue on? I think the only way it could continue on is if it followed the adventures of harry's children right not harry himself did harry have children by the three children three kids prolific i know got his wand out there and made it work um i'm gonna go a new facebook has been released because all of the people like me have made Facebook uncool for younger generations. A new woman's weekly birthday cake book has been released.

Oh, damn, that's cool. This is very cool. So it's been given a brand new update because they teamed up with Alan's Lollies who are celebrating their 130th birthday. And so there are 30 new recipes in the cookbook. Unfortunately, at this stage, you can only get it in Australia when you go to Woolworths or Coles or whatever their supermarkets are. Coles.

Coles. Go to Woolies. But it is like a new version of the traditional book. I mean, most Kiwis growing up would have loved that original book, the OG book. I remember my mum making me the toxic, speaking of Mark Richardson's green pool, she made me the toxic green jelly pool. Oh, the jelly in the one. Yeah, I saw it in the book.

That needed a pool boy. It did. And it had the chocolate fingers around the outer. Yeah. As the fencing. Yeah, the fencing. Not council approved. No, I don't think it would have been.

Right. And the next news story. Volkswagen drops its most popular product. Hint, it's a car. Car. It's a car. Okay. That's what I'm thinking. It's a hint. I'm going to say it's the most popular product. Hint, it's a... Car. It's a car. That's what I'm thinking. I'm going to say it's the most popular.

I'm going to say, yes, it's a car, but it's also run off the world's worst fossil fuels, so we can keep ruining the environment. Controversial. Volkswagen drops its most popular product. Hint, it's a sausage. Yeah, so you probably didn't know this about Volkswagen. Our currywurst sausage is their most successful product. It's sold in super Oh, okay. Yeah, so you probably didn't know this about Volkswagen. A currywurst sausage is their most successful product. It's sold in supermarkets, football stadiums,

and more of them have been sold than VW cars. They make sausages? They make sausages. Who knew that? Well... And that's not what they're known for. Was it a car manufacturer that diversified into the sausage game, or a butcher who diversified...

I hope it would be a car manufacturer diversifying the sausage. Yeah. You wouldn't trust a butcher making cars. Not making cars. I mean, Rob, my butcher, lovely guy, but I wouldn't trust him to make me a car. Yeah, yeah.

You're dead right. Yeah, very true. And the final news story... Billionaire Chinese actress Xiaowei... in China. I'm going to say she puts a bull in a China shop just to see what would happen in the shop and

see what that old saying would do. I'm going to say billionaire Chinese actress Zhao Wei has all of her money taken off her by the communist government in China. Oh dear. Billionaire Chinese actress Zhao Wei wiped from history in China. So all of her interviews on

the internet, she literally doesn't exist on the Chinese internet because they've got their own sort of regulated internet over there. And any discussions as to why this has happened is being regulated on social media and taken down. And it's all just a big mystery. She's a really successful... Everyone in China must know who she is because she's a billionaire and probably very successful over here.

So it'd be like New Zealand deleting Dr. Chris Warner from all of our internet history. Yes. Very weird. It is really interesting. I went through an airport in China on the way. It was like just for a couple of hours on the way somewhere else. And like to go on. So you couldn't go on Instagram.

You couldn't go on Facebook and stuff. It just would not allow you. You know, when you're like wouldn't load. Yeah. And I was like, yeah, obviously you can't even check up on that. That is crazy. They've got their own Facebook. Yeah, is crazy. They've got their own Facebook. Yeah, they have.

They've got their own social media sites. And TikTok, they gave us TikTok just to get all of our information. That's right. Remember that? That was the Chinese Communist of China. And I was like, what? This is shit information. You just got my daughter dancing along to Benny.

I don't know how you're going to use that. Was that the same with House Party as well? That app? Remember you were unworried about that? Yeah, there was a lot of rumors. They're taking all your stuff. Was that the same with House Party as well? That app? Yeah, there was a lot of rumors. Take it all your stuff. Who knows? Bleak conversations with half-drunk friends over a house party.

Yeah, totally. And that is the news and beeps for you this morning. We've got a big show this morning after 7 o'clock. Dr. Ashley Bloomfield after 8 o'clock. We've got Jacinda Ardern and then we've got $5,000 up for grabs. It could all be yours this morning. New Zealand's breakfast. It's Jono and Ben.

Got me in love. On the hits. Good morning, just gone 7 o'clock on New Zealand's breakfast. Just reading about Kiwi Rail. They launched an investigation after yesterday a remote-controlled locomotive and railway wagon fell into Picton Harbour. You're called a shunter, aren't they?

Yeah, yeah, right into the harbour. Fortunately, no one was injured, no one was on it. They usually carry chemicals, but they didn't have any chemicals on the time. But yeah, I don't know how, at the moment, how they just kind of went into the harbour. That's what you would say if you were carrying chemicals, though. That's what I would say.

I'd be like, oh God, I've poured all this toxic waste into Picton Harbour. There were no chemicals. Usually it's carrying. Why wasn't it carrying chemicals? Oh, God, I've poured all this toxic waste into a picture. There were no chemicals. Usually it's carry. Why wasn't it carrying chemicals? Oh, day off. Day off the chemical carrying. Yeah, no. So shunted into the harbour, the poor thing.

How would you get that out? Crane? Yeah. This is the only option. Thomas the Tank Engine? Is that where they bring him in or not? Oh, no. Remember there was that grumpy old train.

It was a bit of a battler train. Did all the heavy lifting. You'd call him out and he'd be like, Hello, geezer. You're a little grumpy. I know Thomas always tried to form a bond with him. battler train. Did all the heavy lifting. You'd call him out and he'd be like, Hello, geezer. Grumpy. I know Thomas always tried to form a bond with him. The grumpy locomotive. Just wasn't picking up what he was.

He wasn't vibing, Thomas. Thomas was like, Hello, mate. Thomas was a young upstart coming along. He was a little bit cocky, wasn't he, Thomas? Probably felt threatened, the old thing, by that train. I've been doing this for 18 years. I understand. Thomas did have a little bit of arrogance about him, didn't he? Cocky little locomotive. But, you know, by the trains. I've been doing this for 18 years. I understand. Yeah. Thomas did have a little bit of arrogance about him, didn't he?

He did. Cocky little locomotive. Fat controller, like, shaming his boss. Yeah. Shocking. Let's see, better attitude. Yeah, this hour we've got $5,000 up for grabs. We've got a really awesome prize thanks to our friends at Skinny for people, for Lockdown Legends, people doing amazing work for Aotearoa right now.

And just reading through today's nomination, a deserved recipient coming up very shortly, someone who was really, and we always talk about these people putting their bodies on the line, on the front line. This is exactly what this person's doing. They'll join us next on the hits. Oh, legends.

You guys are legends. Oh, you're legends. Jono and Ben's ISO Legends. Thanks to Skinny. You guys are legends. Oh, you're legends. Jono and Ben's ISO Legends. Thanks to Skinny. I really love doing this little feature on the show right now. Thanks to our mates at Skinny. It's rewarding people that are doing amazing work out there for New Zealand. The lockdown legends, and each day we hook them up with a pretty amazing prize.

Yeah, do you know it was weird to come back into work yesterday for something, and they had a police stop. They were checking all the cars, whether they were out for legitimate purposes or nefarious purposes. For the first time I got to say, I'm an essential worker. And I said it like that. You said it in that tone.

I'm an essential worker, which puts me above the other workers. And he's like, what do you do? I was like, radio. He went, oh. He went, oh. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Did you have to get out your letter or not no I didn't ask for it I just took my word for it

you sort of had this word put on your radio voice you might recognise close your eyes have a listen to this he's like please just move on I don't have time for this there's cars backing up behind you you're a wanker get going

and that was my interaction with the police. But you were spoken to some wonderful people. Wonderful people who work in careers that are radio. You know, nurses, doctors, Pilates instructors, Bikram yoga instructors, Ben's manicurist. We've had them all. Yeah, we have. Some wonderful essential workers out there.

And none more deserving than the person we're about to call now. He's been nominated by his partner, Alice. Hello, speaking with Sam. Oh, hey, Sam. It's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. Hey, how's it going? Not too bad.

Is this Sam Liotta? Yeah, speaking. Wonderful. Sam, listen, we understand you're an essential worker. Yep. Well done. you're a security guard Yeah, I'm a security guard And you work at vaccination centres? Yeah, I've done some work at the vaccination centres

Where else do you work as security? I do security at Glenfield as well and I've done some testing stations as well Were you the one who caught Ben Boyd shoplifting from the Westfield? No. No, if I was, I'd probably...

No, it wasn't. No, it must have been a different security guard. He went into Kmart. He always goes in there late at night when it's quiet. Aye, aye, aye. Strikes while the... We're here to talk about Sam. Sam, you're doing amazing work out there in the community.

Literally putting your body on the line out there. And you also got sick a while ago, which made it pretty tough, we understand, to, you know, where you had to take some time off work so the money wasn't coming in? Yeah, yeah, that's right. Did you get COVID? Oh, well, I had all the symptoms and I was feeling my guts. So I thought I'd go get myself checked out. I ended up in hospital for a little bit.

And, yeah, it took some time off work, but I'm back to work now, all healthy. So it wasn't actually COVID? No, no, no. So it wasn't COVID in the end. And so, yeah, we understand you guys have been, it's been a bit of a mission to pay rent and keep up with all the bills and things while you're off work? Yeah, yeah, it has been pretty tough, but yeah.

That's all right now, I'm back to work, so I'm fit and healthy. Well, that's good. good well you've been nominated as a lockdown legend which means thanks to our friends at Skinny we want to give you a $500 pack and save voucher

and six months of Skinny credit just for all your hard work that's pretty mean that's mean oh yeah well now you sound like you deserve it you know you're out there

you know every day doing this for New Zealand so you really do deserve it no worries that's awesome guys No, hey, listen, don't thank us thank our friend Skinny

We're trying to take the credit We should really give it to the people who deserve it Are there things that we could be doing differently as the public at these testing stations, Sam? Yeah, be nicer to the people that are there because they're just there to try to do their jobs while obviously being on the front line

and people being frustrated. Yeah. We're the only ones that can take it out on. Yeah, people do get frustrated, but I think they forget that it's, yeah. That you guys are, yeah, you're really putting yourself in harm's way. Have you been yelled at and abused?

I've been cussed at, yelled at, everything. Oh, well, you don't deserve it. No. You don't deserve it. Not at all. So to apologise on behalf of New Zealand, we're going to give you a $500 back and save voucher thanks to Skinny.

No worries. Apologies. Sam, so nice to talk to you. You sound awesome. Thank you so much for what you're doing for New Zealand right now. No worries. Thank you, guys.

No worries. And thanks very much to Skinny. If you want to nominate a Lockdown Legend like Sam, head to the hitstockcard.nz. Skinny will hook someone up each day with a $500 package they voucher. Six months of Skinny credit because they are helping at the moment, giving a bonus 60 gigs of data to all their cat wireless broadband customers. Don't you feel so good after talking to people like that?

Yeah. It's a heartfelt moment, that. It is nice. It is nice to all remember, because I understand how people do get frustrated. You get into those situations. Well, if you've been in a car for 10 hours, yeah, you understand. And you don't want to be there. You're all that, so you're doing it, but yeah, but it's hard. Don't direct your anger into those situations. Well, if you've been in a car for 10 hours, yeah, you understand. And you don't want to be there. You're all that simple.

You're doing it, but yeah, but it's hard. Don't direct your anger at those people. Yeah, yeah. Yell at yourself in the mirror or something. Yeah, I understand the frustrations.

Right now, it's just... Phone us up. Yell at us. Yeah, that's right. Abuse us. We're open slather. We're used to it. It's just as I said,

be kind, right? You know? Yeah. I see why she keeps saying it now when you hear stories like that. Yeah, exactly. It is a hit She got John Owen Benn

You're essential listening for non-essential banter I thought I was saying something meaningful there Then I backed out John Owen Benn, New Zealand breakfast Morning, it is John Owen Benn with you As we talked about earlier this morning Some great performances by New Zealand At the Paralympics at the moment

Sophie Pascoe won her 11th gold medal overnight, which is just incredible. Yesterday was like 10 gold medals we were talking about on the show. 24 hours later, she's got her 11th. We joke constantly about carry-on luggage on this program. It's one of our things, isn't it? What did Jono and Ben do? Well, they make constant references to carry-on luggage. We do, actually.

But honestly, who carry-on luggage, this is a serious reference. I've thought about it, yeah. It's going to be probably about five kilograms heavier. With all the medals she's bringing back. And I think she's still got races to go. It'll be like drug packages. She'll have to disperse them amongst the team. Hopefully some of them get through.

We'll see what gets caught by customs. But Daniel Atchison, two overnight in the running, got a silver in the 200 and then backed it up with a bronze and the hundy oh that's awesome very good and then tupo nufay as well who uh was already won a medal in the gold yeah over the weekend first gold yeah won another medal last night as well now so congratulations to all the paralympians are doing amazing stuff how many medals has the new zealand paralympic team got all up i think it's around 10, I think, but maybe... Let's have a look. Let's live Google. I know you're a fan of that.

I do love it. What have we got here? New Zealand... This is why I'm a fan of it. This is why I'm a fan of it. This is why we love it. Why is it just there as soon as I type it in? Make noises to fill the airtime. I told you guys about carry-on luggage.

Have you ever thought about your carry-on? I mean, you know, you've got to think about your carry-on when you're overseas. Yeah, you do. You really do got to think about your carry-on. There's a couple more grimes. Sometimes, you know, because you can't always put it in the overhead compartment in the plane, you know, carry-on luggage. Yeah, Sophie Pascoe, Ted Gould, Lisa Adams. Have you ever found it yet?

No, it's just not coming up. Where is the table? Let's go. Oh, jeez. Oh, no. Sophie Pascoe, Ted Giles, Lisa Adams. Have you ever felt it yet? No, it's just not coming up. Where is the table? Let's go. Oh, jeez. Oh, no. I'm backing out. I'm backing out. I really want to get to the end of this now.

I want to give me some time. Okay, all right. It's okay. Stop. I can feel the pressure coming on. All right, okay. Do you want me to pad for time or just sit here in silence? Don't look at me.

Just type. Type. Don't look at me. Paralympic medal tally. Here it is. Okay. Algeria. No, no, no.

Oh, no, that's the all-time Paralympic medal table. The medal count. This is what we want. Yeah, there we go. 2021. It's updated. Ten medals. There you go.

There you go. Four golds, three silvers, and three bronze. Ten medals. How did you get that so quickly? How did you get that so quickly? How did you get that so quickly? I typed in New Zealand Paralympic tally. And it came up with there. How did you not find it?

I found it too. I was typing in the Mexican Paralympic tally. 26th overall, though, on the medal table there. There's 20 on my one, but anyway. Should I play a song? Yeah, would you? Thanks, Jude. Mum and Dad are fighting.

Who's mum? Five words for 5K on the hits. You're only five words away from a massive payday. It's a game of word association. It's pretty simple to play, but it's actually really hard to match up two people with the same things that pop into their head but we've done it a few times 45 000 is what we've given away over the past few months and so hopefully we can give away five more now that's right let's welcome to the program from christchurch it's lucy hi don't know i bought you in like oprah winfrey would have back in the day lucy you work work at Wynns, essential worker?

Yep, sure do. Good on you. Well, thank you for being out and about during these times in Christchurch. Talk to us about the takeaways you've had over the last 24 hours, please. I have had health pizza. Mate. What did it taste like? Talk to us. Oh, it was so good and I got some leftover from my lunch. Oh, you don't even have to make lunch as well as making dinner. Have you had, like, a coffee from a cafe?

I've actually got one with me in the car. Oh, stop it. Sold into the wounds. Okay, Lucy, now to pay you back for that. So just a little taste of what it's like to be in Level 3, and it felt good. I can taste that pizza in my mouth. Lucy, I tell you what, have we got Hell Pizza vouchers still? We'll give you some Hell Pizza vouchers so you can have some more Hell Pizza, okay?

Yeah, that'd be great. All right, we'll get you those out. That's before we've even started. The winning has begun. But who are you going to send into the soundproof booth this morning, Luce? Ben. Ben. Spent a lot of time in that booth lately, Ben. Boys are going to start charging rent in there, buddy.

You happy with the facilities? We've got to put a heat pump in there to make sure it's healthy and safe. What else do you have to do for flat stew? Oh, I don't know. Heat pump's the main thing. Pink baths, they need to be warm in the walls? Yeah, insulators.

Insulated, yeah. He's in the soundproof booth. He's locked away. And right now, Lucy, you can win five thousand dollars or given the current exchange rate 51 000 south african rand that's getting me randy that amount of money that was a weird thing to say i'm sorry lucy all right i've made it weird already let's move on okay first word that comes into your head this morning, Lucy, when I say to you, tall. Tall. Short?

That's good. Do you know, I was just discussing an article I was reading this morning about a doctor in California who can make people taller. Taller, by about five inches. Oh, does he stretch you or something? He stretches your bones out over a three month period. $145,000 if you want to get that done. No thanks. Okay. All right. Second word this morning. Margarine. Butter. Word number three is netball. What was that? Meatball. Netball. Sorry. Netball. Netball. Court. Netball court, yep. Duvet.

Coming in at number four this morning for you, Lucy. Duvet cover. And proud is the final word. Proud. That's a tricky one, that one, eh? Yeah. I guess you could think of people in your life who would be proud, potentially. The only thing I'm thinking is that saying loud and proud, so loud.

Oh, proud and loud. Yeah, that works as well. You going to lock that in, Luce? I guess so. Yeah, we'll have to go with that. All right, and that's the confidence that we love Let's see if we can add a K to your name And change it from Lucy to Lucky this morning Ben Boyce

He is emerging from the soundproof booth You look, you change inside there You look sad What dark thoughts were you thinking about in there? I was thinking about stuff I'm sorry, I'll talk to the owner. Right. Okay, let's get into it. Match five words with Lucy.

Tall. Word number one. Short. We're feeling good, Luce. Great. Margarine came in at number two this morning, Ben. Butter? Good, Ben. My turn. Butter? Good, good.

Nice. Sweet spread. Yeah, okay. Two from two. He's on a winning streak. Net ball. Oh, jeez. There's a few.

Hoop? You tell them what you went for, Loose. Court, yeah. Yeah, court. That was fourth. There's a lot of options there. Game. Yeah.

Yeah, ball. That's a tough one. Player. Silver ferns. The list goes on. Fourth word was duvet. Cover. Proud was word number five. Proud.

Proud, yeah. That's something I've never really heard before. Pride? Loud. Loud and proud. Loud and proud. Yeah, that's good. Lucy, you played a good game.

She did, actually. She played a really good game. You go and enjoy that deep fried goodness that you can in Christchurch in level three, and you're going to have a great day. Thank you so much for listening to the program, Lucy. Thanks, guys. Another chance tomorrow, same time, same place. It is the hits.

Spy, the what's up, spy.co.nz. Someone get the cold water running, guys, and get ready to apply the aloe vera gel, because these celebs are about to get burnt by celebrity burner Juliet. This one is very interesting. Oprah Winfrey has been scolded by actress Rose McGowan. Now, for context, Rose McGowan, she was one of the first people who spoke out about Harvey Weinstein,

about allegations against him. And she recently tweeted a photo of Oprah kissing Harvey Weinstein from 2014 at what looks like an awards ceremony. She's claimed that Oprah is as fake as they come. She tweeted, I'm glad more are seeing the ugly truth of Oprah. I wish she were real, but she isn't. From being pals with Weinstein to abandoning and destroying Russell Simmons victims, she is about supporting a sick power structure for personal gain.

She is as fake as they come. This is the first of any sort of story about Oprah that I've ever read. This is like a British person trying to take down the Queen of England. This is someone having a shot at the Queen of America. That's very interesting. And I'm like, is this the beginning of an evil Ellen 2.0?

But no, it probably hopefully isn't. Awful Oprah. Oh, she's already got a nickname. We've already nicknamed her. I don't think I need any more negativity in the world right now. Should I move to a positive story? I mean, the thing is with

people like that, their appearance on who they are publicly, they might be different people behind the scenes. Yeah. You know? But that's for them to decide. Well, they're not always going to be on to what they were like on the TV show. You know, they're not always going to be, you know, like...

The human beings. Human beings, yeah. With emotions and feelings. They've got days, bad days. They have days where they don't talk as much. You know, when they might be quietly thinking about what they have to do backstage before they have to go out and perform. That's the thing.

If you'd caught Ellen on a bad day, and she's having a bad day, and that was your only experience of meeting Ellen, then that's going to stick with you forever. But she might have just been having a bad moment in time. The other thing, too, with Oprah is she's kissing Harvey Weinstein in 2014. Harvey Weinstein was a huge backer,

financial backer of the Democratic political party over there. Right. Obama, Clinton, everyone has been tied in with Weinstein. And to be fair, from 2014, that's before any of the allegations about Weinstein came out. So she probably may not have known.

No idea. He's going, guess what I've been up to. Totally. And some more positive news, Elton John has announced he is releasing a brand new album soon. It's called The Lockdown Sessions, and it was all made in lockdown over the past year with a bunch of big artists, including Dua Lipa, Stevie Wonder, Nicki Minaj, Lil Nas X, who did Old Town Road. And 10 of the 16 songs are original, so six of them will be sort of repeats, but newer versions.

I like what they did with Dua Lipa and him. That's a wonderful mix isn't it? Such a good song. I'm Dill Danding on there. Please tell me that Dill Danding is a bonus track. It's a lockdown session so that was a song that he did when the world was in lockdown. Lady Gaga put on a Universal Online concert

and they crossed to Elton in his house and he performed I'm Still Standing as I'm Dildanding. So maybe it's a remake. You can understand about 17% of what Elton was singing about. So good. So it's going to be out on the 22nd of September, not I'm Dildanding, but the actual album,

which is going to be very good. I'm very excited for that. We've got a lot of mileage out of I'm Dildanding. We must thank the two Tims on ZB who put us onto that. Going hard and ooey. Go hard, go ooey. Go hard and ooey. Hard and ooey.

Go hard. With Jono and Ben. New Zealand's breakfast. We were just talking before about, you know, those in the 09 region of New Zealand not being able to get takeaways stuck in level 4, but it's not just people that can't get takeaways that are suffering. And here's some relatable content brought to you by Mark Richardson from The AM Show.

I'd need some hydrochloric acid for the swimming pool. It's going to start to not make chlorine. You know, I'm lying awake going, God, when's that pool going to go green? I don't want that pool to go green. Because the valet, the pool boy can't come, can he? That keeps me awake at night. Under level three, I can get that hydrochloric acid. These are all things that level three ease.

Yeah, there's people with problems out there. Square thought for those Aucklanders without pool boys at the moment. And that pool could go, not saying the pool is green. It's not green yet. He's still swimming in it. But it could go green. And it's keeping him awake at night.

It's keeping him awake at night. Do you know when I was growing up, my parents had one of those champagne, I don't even know if they still make them, para rubber pools. Oh, yeah, in relation to those, yeah. They were like a giant rubber circle that you'd dig into the ground or it'd sit on top of the ground. You see all those fucking videos where people fall on the side of it and they all fall on the side of it and they all...

Yeah, all the deportivity. And then, like, Dad would just ride it out over the winter months. It looked like a sewage pond by the time summer all ran. And then he'd just pour, like, a bucket of chlorine from the pool company into it. And he was like, you jump in and you swirl around with your body the chlorine. And that was our chlorination process. I'd have to walk around the outside and create a whirlpool with him. And that's how we chlorinated our pool back in the day.

I was the pool boy. I can see. A little pool boy, like getting in there. I should call Mark and say, mate, give me a bucket of chlorine in my body and I'll chlorinate your pool for you. I was wondering why you were so pasty white. He was bleached as a child. I would actually walk out of there My skin would be burning

Oh jeez Not 2021 mate Hey Nick There's something big happening on the hits today We'll tell you about it in a few moments Taking over all your favourite song intros Jono and Ben the Hits Now we are doing the 90s

Versus the 2000s As a bit of a competition each day. And we're looking at number one hits today on the hits. That's happening after nine. You're looking at the best hits. The number one hits from the 90s taking on the best number one hits from the early 2000s. Some big battles coming up after nine o'clock for you guys to get involved in. But we were talking yesterday about one of our favorite, I guess, one hit wonders. Do you know what the, Sorry, Ben, to interrupt.

Do you know the biggest song from the 90s? Candle in the Wind. Elton John, the most successful number one from the 90s. Wasn't a one-hit wonder, though, was it? No, I think he's had a few more, has he? Did Elton go on to record other music, did he? Yeah, he did that I'm Dildanding. No, we can't play that again.

Play it again, play it again. I'm Dildanding. I'm Dildanding. Yeah, yeah, play it again. I'm Dill Danning. I'm Dill Danning. Yeah, Danning. That's a callback to the show. I don't know if I'm Dill Danning had the same commercial chart success as Candle in the Wind. We want to play in a moment,

we want to play one of our favourite number one hits, the one hit wonder from that sort of era, and that was from Vanilla Ice. Now, we got to actually hang out with Vanilla Ice. We brought him over here a few years ago, right out with Vanilla Ice. We brought him over here a few years ago, right? It was really cool. Flew him over here. Him and his DJ came over. We had to fly him business.

His DJ, he was forced to fly economy. Well fair enough. We could only afford one person to go business. Who's he going to be? Is he going to be Vanilla Ice or DJ Chopsticks? Yeah, we hung out for a couple of days and I liked how the whole way through Vanilla Ice it was awesome but he would just call you jono and we kind of got to that stage where we just didn't correct him right yeah well i wasn't gonna i was we're walking on

you know we're skating on thin ice around vanilla rice i didn't want to upset him yeah you're like hey it's just john like you're old often and go oh yeah we'll get jono to do it like trying to you know when there's the conversations when you're like trying to. You reset the name for the other party. Oh, Jono will talk to you and go, yeah, Jono, you know. So I like Jono. We played a very polite New Zealand role of not wanting to upset anyone. And then we had a concert with him and he performed his song, you know, Ice Ice Baby. He did a couple of other songs as well.

It was about a 20 minute sort of concert. It was actually really cool. He does it all around the world and i actually seen the same 20 minute concert from him and in las vegas one time me and my friend andy when it's high impact it is you know you're in you're out you're uh you can be back home but you can go to a concert at seven and be back home by 7 30 yeah he plays the the song from the ninja turtles one he does does a couple other ones as well as ice ice baby so starts and ends with ice ice baby which is you know which is the big one that's what you want to come kev come to see right now vanilla was very nice nice baby yeah because he's pulled us aside pre-show and he's like i'd love you to be a part of my stage show was he great he's like

there are your costumes over there and uh because all over the world where he this, I remember seeing this in Las Vegas, or some of it. Actually, when I was watching him in Las Vegas, there was this couple just making out, like, mauling. On stage? No, on the concert in front of us, mauling each other. You know when you're trying to be like, okay, cool, but I'm trying to see him in other eyes. Was there a part of it you're like, am I involved in this now?

Do I chalk this as a notch on my belt? Just even watching this or being so close to it? Yeah, so I'd seen this before. Did you get a stray anything in that situation? We had to move away. It was going on for a long time. Like the whole 20 minutes, it was just non-stop. It was just, yeah, anyway.

Yeah, but so on stage, Vanilla Rice has people dressed in clown costumes and they dance away. And I'd seen it in Las Vegas, and they were awesome. The people dancing were amazing. But when he came to New Zealand, obviously, we could only afford one person to go to business class and couldn't afford to bring over the clowns. So he's like, hey, you guys be the clowns.

Could you dance on stage in clown costumes? And we're like, mate, can we be clowns? We can fill that role for you. And so then we put on these costumes, and we had to dance. Oh, Jesus. A 20-minute thing felt like 20 hours. Oh, you know. White eyes, dancing.

Were you wearing masks as well? Yeah, we were, but still the shade I felt. You could see the embarrassment. And it was just like, I think as hype men, we were the only hype men in history to lose hype on our own. And we just started. I gave Ben a knowing glance in my mask and he saw me and we'd

lost, we're the two uncoordinated clowns who lost confidence as the show went on. I so lost confidence, like I said it'd come out and I went whoa and then I'm like oh no I'm still dancing. I looked over to my clown mate and I'm like I did that thing with your head where you're like should we get out of here and then we slowly

backed out of the, I think, song number two. Halfway through song two, we're like, this isn't for us. This isn't for us. I'm sorry, Vanilla, but it's a great jam. Full respect to Kelly and Katrina, the other two from Destiny's Child. Was it Kelly and Katrina? No, I don't think it was. It almost got right.

Yeah, doing backup stuff is hard. But we've got a plan for you right now. One of our favourite one-hit wonders, Vanilla Ice. What a tune. Ice Ice Baby on the hits. They're proud of New Zealand. Go New Zealand! If only New Zealand was proud of them.

Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the hits. And that is pretty much our show for Thursday. Thanks so much for hanging out with us. Before we go, just one final shout-out to Sophie Pascoe, who overnight, if you just missed it, won another medal, another gold medal. She is incredible. That's 19 medals in all with 11 Paralympic gold. She got another gold last night as well and gave it everything and literally gave it everything.

After the race, she vomited on the side of the pool and even blacked out as far as well. Had to be put on oxygen because that's how much she'd given for New Zealand and in the pool. Oh, well done, Sophie. What do you do with that vomit? You just scoop it, you just sort of hose it back into the pool? What do they do there? Is that one of those public pool situations where it's an evacuation?

I don't know, actually. Yeah, that's true. I've never done any form of exercise to the point where I've needed to vomit. No. No, and my body probably says it as well. Have you ever vomited after exercise? No, I remember pushing yourself when you do feel like that, but never to that point.

It's not a good look to be in bloody Snap Fitness. All over the treadmill and stuff. Or running to the vending machine at work. It was a bit, you know. But if you're at the Olympics, you're hailed as a hero for vomiting. When Ben's at his Snap Fitness class, all over the CrossFit machine, or the Cross Trainer, you have to wipe it down with those wipes.

Yeah, the wipes, yeah. Now, today at the Paralympics, just looking at the schedule today, Sophie's back in the pool. I know, she raced yesterday, got a gold. She raced the day before, got a gold, and now she's racing again today. She's got 100 metre butterfly heats at quarter to one this afternoon. Nicole Murray's in the road race for the cycling, so Stephen Hills. And the athletics tonight, Anna Stephen, racing in the women's 100 metres. Midnight tonight.

And the canoeists are competing today as well. So well done, Sophie Pascoe. And then she'll come back and run her successful jewellery chain, no doubt. Same person? I'm glad it's not because she'd be too successful. Ten medals in total for our team so far, so that's awesome. Hey, tomorrow on the show we're joined

by a really interesting lady. She was involved in Bumble. Yeah, she helped start Bumble, the dating app. And now she has created an app for mums. Mumble. That's what we do every day. But it's grown into something much more than that and it's coming to New Zealand. Well, it's in New Zealand right now.

It's really awesome. So you can hear more about that tomorrow. Have a great day, New Zealand. We'll catch you then. First, Friends of Skinny.