Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: Introducing The Passport Renewal Hotline!

Episode Date: March 3, 2022

With Kiwis being able to come back to NZ without isolating, we realised there are probably a bunch of people whose passports have expired. And the cost to renew one is $191. ANNOYING. So we decided to renew a bunch of people's passports so they can go and see loved ones overseas without having to isolate when they get home. Jono also revealed a part of himself that surprises most people, and finally we caught up with Mitch James who told us about his near-death experience. Enjoy the show!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits with the Jono and Ben podcast. It's the 4th of March. Welcome along to the podcast. Yeah. How are you today, Ben? A bit cold now, isn't it? It is getting a bit colder. It's getting, you know, summer, I think summer ended this week, right?

So, you know, it's still going to be warm for a little bit longer, but. I said that to my daughter last night because you mentioned that to me yesterday that summer had ended. Yeah. And, oh, jeez, she didn't take that news well. She wasn't. She did not take that news well. I was like, summer ended. Yeah. And, oh, jeez, she didn't take that news well. She wasn't. I was like, summer ended? She's like, what? I was like, it's gone.

Two days ago, finished. And she was really in a dark space there for a little while. I'm sorry about that. She was trying to think about the positives. She's like, well, these leaves are nice in autumn. And I was like, yep, yep, they're nice. And she's like, oh, you know, I can wear my hoodie through winter. I was like, no, there's a's like oh you know I can wear my hoodie through winter there's a silver

lining to winter I don't mind winter sometimes winter's great I find better clothing in winter too yeah better clothing options what is your

favourite season season 4 of Jono and Ben the TV show I don't know they really found their own

then didn't they? Yeah. Well, maybe they lost their way in season four. Probably lost their way, to be honest. That's probably the beginning of the end. Well, save it, season R. I do like summer. I do.

I mean, summer seems like the obvious one. Everyone loves summer. Yeah, OK. Let's eliminate summer from the equation. So you're left with autumn, spring, winter. Yeah. And that's it. That's all you got. Ooh. Autumn, spring, winter. Yeah. And that's it.

That's all you got. Ooh. Autumn, spring, winter. I find autumn and spring just filler seasons. Yeah, they're kind of the in-between seasons, aren't they? Bridging between the two big bangers, the winters and summers. Yeah, and there's something quite cool about winter. I know there is some shocking weather and it is cold, but, you know, there's some, yeah, as you were saying before, there's some cool activities you like.

You know, you don't feel bad for not going out because you're at home and it's raining. You watch a movie. Do love me an electric blankie. No, you're electric. You wouldn't be. No. For the man who turns every plug off in the household before he leaves. Couldn't do it.

His cell phone sleeps in its own room two kilometres away from Ben. Yeah, sleeping on our electronics. Couldn't do it. I know you couldn't. You can't relax during a massage. You could not relax on an electric blanket. kilometres away from Ben. Yeah, sleeping on electronics. I couldn't do it. I know you couldn't. You can't relax during a massage and jeez, you could not relax on an electric blanket. Those horror stories of something like leaking. That's the thrill of it. You leaking

and then you end up, you know. The worst thing is when you leave it on and you wake up at 3.30 in the morning and every last bit of moisture has evaporated from your body. Sat down.

Your mouth is, it feels like you've swallowed sand. Did we hear this story? Did someone ring a few years ago? I think we were on the Rock Radio station where someone had, their dad had a heart attack going to, and was asleep, had a heart attack and apparently it sounded like he went to the bathroom after a spare. Something that can happen after that happens. And then that gave it a shock and then came back out to life.

That's what they remember. I very vaguely remember that story. Yeah. I don't know if it's a true story or not, but I just said you're talking about electric blankets. Apparently had a heart attack, basically died. And then obviously got... And then the leak, obviously, yeah.

Yeah, the shock back to life, like the defibrillator sort of situation. I don't know if that's true. Shit, you'd wake up, though, that poor guy. Oh, God. My pants are wet. I just went on. I feel like I've been electrocuted, but I also feel like I'm just recovering from a stroke or a heart attack.

Yeah. Jesus, there's a lot to unpack and who worked all that out as well too you know yeah

well see that's a good reason why you didn't do that trick so if you do have a health scare you pee yourself and you bring yourself back to life

yeah exactly knew there was a point for them hey on the show today it was really fun actually Friday wasn't it we gave away

passport it was a strange prize, I won't lie. You came to the party with it with a friend's suggestion. But we gave away passport renewals. We pay for people's passport to be renewed. Renewed, that's not even a word. Because the borders are now, you know, seem to be opening up. The Kiwis can travel again.

So we're like, hey, pay for your passport that's expired. And, jeez, it was popular. Yeah, it took off, mate. It took off with us on the podcast today. Also, Mitch James pay for your passport that's expired. And geez, it was popular. Yeah, it took off, mate. It took off with it. It's on the podcast today. Also, Mitch James as well. He joined us too. He's meant to be meeting up with Ben for the last four weeks. And he explains all.

Yeah. Why he hasn't fronted. Still waiting for him to come around. Jono and Ben. We got to Friday, guys. We got there. Yeah, we do. We're doing a fun thing today because from midnight tonight, all Kiwis can come back.

No isolation. Yeah. Just come on in and it's like 2019 again from midnight tonight. So we're going to be paying for the renewal of people's passports. A friend of yours, Mike, said they did it on another radio station. So he's like, you should do it on yours. And you're like, hell yeah. We've got no qualms if it's been done before.

Also, the secret sound coming up at 7.32. And beat the bomb. We'll do that at 10 past 8. Yeah, so if you have got your passport, if it's lapsed or someone in your family is lapsed, give us a text, 4487. Tell us where you want to go, where you're planning on going, and we could be paying for that after 7.

Because it's probably the last thing you think about. Yeah. The renewal of the passport. Well, to be honest, I don't know if mine's lapsed. I haven't checked it. You know? All of ours could be lapsed by now. Yeah.

Search admin as well. Interesting times at the moment though, isn't it? Julia, you're not going to need your passport anytime soon, are you? I was wondering if this was going to come up. No. You're not going anywhere. I don't think, yeah. No?

I'm going to burn your passport. You're not allowed to leave us. It is really interesting times at the moment. Obviously, the COVID world that we're living in, it's good to see a little bit of normality, but it's a bit harder to catch up with friends. And yesterday I thought, make an effort. I'll talk to a couple of friends on phone.

You know, like, just catch up with a couple. You hate phone calls. I know, I know. In midway through, I was like, why am I doing this? It's not one of your hobbies and interests. No, it's not. You try it. As soon as you get on the phone, he's like, okay, all right, bye.

Why do you not like phone calls? I don't know. I just find it a real burden. I don't know why. I just really, I'm just like, get on the phone, he's like, okay, all right, bye. Why do you not like phone calls? I don't know. I just find it a real burden. I don't know why. I just really, I'm just like, get to the thing, get to the point.

Cool. I don't know why. I check out of them. I fade out. Sometimes I put them on speaker and just start scrolling through Instagram and things. Yeah,

yeah, right. One, one friend I thought was very unusual. He was like, I feel like I'm not part of the cool club because I haven't got COVID. And you're like,

I don't know if it's a cool club. He's like, I'll see on Instagram, there's people posting saying they've got COVID. So why is COVID avoiding me? He should just say he's got it and just be part of the game. Oh, I'm sick of, you know. Yeah, but I don't think it's a cool club. You know, a lot of people get it and they don't get it.

It's not really your choice. Yeah, I mean, if you had an option, you'd just go through life dodging it, right? And then with another friend, I got accused of fat shaming him on the phone call. With an entirely innocent thing. Yeah. We're just like, oh, sorry, we haven't caught up. He's like, yeah, sorry, I haven't rung you.

And I said, oh, you know, well, you've got a lot on your plate because he's busy. And he went, oh, yeah, it's not fat shaming, mate. And I wasn't. I wasn't just saying you've got a lot on his plate, meaning he's got a lot of jobs. But what's his frame like? Well, it's not fat shaming, mate. And I wasn't. I wasn't just saying he got a lot on his plate, meaning he's got a lot of jobs. But what's his frame like? Well, everyone's bigger than me. When you're my size, everyone's bigger than me.

Now, this is not out of character for you. I mean, we've spoken at length about the ongoing pants saga where Ben keeps pranking me and I keep trying to put on trousers that we use when we're going to functions and they're getting smaller somehow. And he's slowly getting them taken in by some tailor as some sick prank.

Going, oh, you used to fit those. There's a lot of admin in that prank, if I'm going to that. I'm just saying. There's something you would do. There's something a fat shamer would do. Just saying, these are the pants that you used to wear. You used to fit into them.

That's on you if you can't. So I'm with your friend. I'm with your friend who had a lot on his plate. Kia ora. I'm with your friend who had a lot on his plate. Kia ora. I'm Rachel Jackson-Lees and this is The B**** News. Not as much graffiti around nowadays,

is there? It's kind of... Oh, yeah. I used to like seeing graffiti. There was a lot in Parliament yesterday. Yeah. Oh, was there?

On the wall and stuff. Yeah. Weren't they using chalk, though? Yeah, I think it was chalk, yeah. But it looked like a tip last night because obviously no one had time to pack up when leaving the protest. They've got to get the grass seed out there.

Some good buddy used tents for sale I imagine at the moment in Wellington. Get them for a steal. Juliet, this is the News and Beeps where you beep out certain words from headlines and Ben and myself give sometimes mildly amusing answers, sometimes just filling in airtime. And sometimes you get it right

too. Yeah. Alright, your first news story is... Plans for the UK's biggest theme park face huge setback because of... Because of being a Mickey Mouse operation I'd say. I love that saying, Mickey Mouse operation. He does love it.

If we went back and per quoted the amount of times he said Mickey Mouse Operation. I said Mickey Mouse Operation. But when you think about it, all the Mickey Mouse Operations in the world are incredible. A huge success. If anything. Disney films, you know. You want your business run like a Mickey Mouse Operation. Exactly, yeah.

They're taking over the world. I'm going to go plans for UK's biggest theme park faces a huge setback after they controversially went for a Prince Andrew theme park. Oh, Jesus. Plans for the UK's biggest theme park face huge setback because of tiny spider. So this theme park was going to cost $7 billion to make, to create. But the backlash has come because it may have an impact on the endangered jumping spider. You know those tiny little spiders that kind of jump around

and you might see them sometimes inside your house on the walls and they're very, very, very small. Quite cute looking spiders. They're apparently endangered and where they're going to build this theme park is where a lot of these spiders are and so people have said nope, you going to build this theme park is where a lot of these

spiders are and so people have said nope you can't build a theme park because we've got to protect these tiny little spiders. Now we spoke to Rude the bug man and he makes you feel guilty about using a can of Raid Rude doesn't he? So since then I haven't I've been like putting them on bits of paper and then releasing

them to the wild. That's good. I used to just stomp on them and spray them. Don't you? Yeah. Yeah, he was like, no, you can't do that. They're part of the life cycle of the world. The ecosystem and stuff. Yeah, you're right.

Shit, he loves bugs, though. He does. That guy. Imagine his house. Just be infested. Imagine it. Doors, windows open, lights on. You'd be like, shut the window, Rory.

Probably seems like just a bed of cobwebs. Yeah. The next news story. Helps police capture and arrest fleeing suspect. I'm hoping it's Batman. There's a new movie out with Batman. He's done some crime fighting over the years. What happens?

Does he do the heavy lifting and then just hand them over to the authorities? Is that the general... Yeah, kind of. He does a lot of them. He's another one? Yeah. They put up the signal sometimes to go, hey, Batman, you get out there.

What are the police for? Well, they still do some stuff. He does, you know, he picks and chooses his cases. They do the paperwork, do they? The back end. Yeah. You're right, Batman's not filing paperwork. He doesn't look like a paperwork guy, does he?

I'm going to go, something that we wouldn't expect. Helps police capture a fleeing suspect. Goat helps police capture and arrest fleeing suspect. God, I was right. I take that as a win. So the police, this happened in the UK. The police came to arrest a guy at his house, and he tried to run away.

And then Gracie the goat from the neighbouring property must have figured out what was happening and jumped tried to run away and then Gracie the goat from the neighbouring property must have figured out what was happening and jumped fences to chase him like it was this goat and then these police just chasing this guy and they ended up capturing him because the goat was obviously quite a lot faster than the humans when they run at speed. So what the goat like

just like chased after this guy. But tackled the... I think they ended up just cornering him somehow but the goat was a real asset to the team, guys. You always panic when an animal's chasing you, don't you? You make those noises that you never make. Yeah. Frightening.

Thank you, Ju. No worries. Rated M for mildly amusing. Jono and Ben on the hits. Friday, well done. We got to Friday, New Zealand. Now, yesterday was really interesting. We were talking about what have you touched as far as, you know,

have you shaken the hand of a celebrity? Have you been to an iconic location somewhere in the world? And it's not what have you torched. There were a few arsonists in the audience texting through, oh, I'm burnt in this, you know. That's not it. No, you're right. Because Producer Juliet, you've managed to hold the hands of Megan Markle

and Justin Bieber. Yeah, great. Which is pretty impressive. Great days in my life. I don't think I've touched anything that's like an item of... Note. You know, just people, I think. I haven't touched Megan Markle's hands.

Yeah, true. But yeah, we got some great calls yesterday coming through on 0800THEHITS. I have touched the highest point of the earth, Mount Everest. Oh, so you've been to the top, the very top of Mount Everest? I've actually been six times. Wow. When I was a young fella, my mum took me to the museum,

and when man first stood on the moon, they came back in that shuttle thing with the parachutes and landed in the ocean. They sent that thing around the world to the museums, and I got to sit in it. So it's almost like going to the moon, but not quite. Yeah, I've seen plenty of moons, but

yeah. He's in the moon, mate. He's here every night. What would you touch if you had the opportunity? One thing that you would touch. I've got two. Okay. It sounds like you pre-thought of this. Just as it was playing. You're like, oh, but you've got two already.

Okay, go. It feels like you've come up with gags. Did you want it over me or not? No, you've got two. I asked you a question and then didn't want to hear your answer. Yeah, I love that. Then go and ask me. Okay, no.

I'll ask you. What would you like? Have you got two things you'd like to touch? What are your pre-prepared answers? Well, they're not gags, but I was just thinking then, Kelly Tarleton's a penguin. What a penguin. That's cute.

Yeah, okay. And the other one would be put my fingers in a whale's blowhole. Wow. It was the gag. We held a kiwi once. Remember that? A little baby kiwi. Did we get to touch it?

I don't know. No, we wouldn't let it touch it. Did we have the gloves on? It was like you had to put white gloves on.'t know no we wouldn't do we have the gloves on it was like you had to put white gloves velvet gloves on why don't we have

the gloves on I don't think we touched it it was a kiwi egg did we not okay why do they make us wear gloves the kiwi just

the kiwi demands it kiwi's like Beyonce it's like you know not that I think Beyonce's a diva but I imagine you know like you have to be

watching what you do around or like Ellen DeGeneres has got these demands for no reason. Make them wear gloves. Why? They don't touch them. Just make them put the gloves on them. They can't look me in the eye.

So under the hits, 4487, let's throw that out there here. What have you touched? It could be an object. It could be a person. It could be a thing. The most impressive calls and texts next on the hits. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. We want to know this morning

on 0800 The Hits, what have you touched? Maybe MC Hammer, like you said the other day, Jono said you can't touch this, but you did anyway. And Paul, on 0800 The Hits,

what have you touched? Oh, in the early 90s, my wife and I, we were going on our OE and we went to New York. So we've been up the Statue of Liberty. Oh, you're not allowed to do that anymore, right? You can go to the bottom up, but you can't go right up the top.

We went right up the top and we looked out the crown. So you're inside the Statue of Liberty? Yes. It's a double spiral staircase. So there's a line of you going up one side and then there's another line coming down the other side. Steep stairs, too. Yeah. Yeah, I imagine a few tourists probably took a tumble,

and they're like, okay, X the inside gig. What's it like inside the tower? It's just metal, and yeah, it's just metal. It was a good view from there. I can imagine an amazing view inside. What's the inside like? Who asked you that? You went imagine an amazing view, but inside, what's the inside like? Who asked you that? You went up to Statue of Liberty,

what's the inside like? Well, if it was a tourist attraction, you'd think they'd bejazz it up with something, maybe some tinsel or something, a couple of disco balls. As you walked there, there were queues.

It says you were two hours from the top, from here. Oh my goodness. Yeah, it's sometimes when you do wait all of that time, the anticipation is worn off, hasn't it, by the time you actually reach the top of where you're getting to. Yeah, it was quite a climb.

I'm looking at a photo here online. It's like people have got their sort of heads out the crown, there's little gaps in the crown of the Statue of Liberty, so you can sort of stick your head out and have a look. Yeah. Straight to the inside of the head, and they don't do that anymore, probably for good reason, because it looks like people could have fallen out of that crown into the Statue of Liberty. So you can sort of stick your head out and have a look. Yeah. Straight to the inside of the head. And they don't do that anymore. Probably for good reason, because it looks like people could have fallen out of that crown into the water. Probably.

John, the one time you went to New York, we went there for work. We were there for pretty much one night. And we were like, we'll just go up the... Empire State. We went up the Empire State. We were like, we've got to go up there. And we got up there and it was the most shocking night. It was raining. It was cloudy. You couldn't see anything. Anything at all. But we went out we've got to go up there and we got up there and it was the most shocking night it was raining it was cloudy couldn't see anything

anything at all but we went out there it was quite cold outside wasn't it this is our one big night in New York it was miserable I think even the guy

down the bottom was like you sure you want to go we're like yeah buddy we're from New Zealand we've got 24 hours here we could do everything had lots of fun

not quite as cool as your story so thanks for sharing that with us no problem Marion you're on. What have you touched? Well, I've touched the hand of Pope John Paul II

back in the day when I was still alive. The Pope? Touch the hell of the Pope's hand? Yes. That's a good hand. Holy hand. Holy, holy hand. John, I was a pretend Catholic. How would you rate that? What I wouldn't give to be touched by the Pope.

Okay, okay. In fact, I think maybe... Hey, all right. So whereabouts did this happen? Was he in New Zealand? Well, we went on a youth pilgrimage with a Catholic church and it happened at his...

Sorry, I'm walking to work, so... That's all right. That's all right. You're getting your cardio in? Yeah. We had a private audience with him at the summer villa. Oh, a private meeting with the Pope. That's incredible.

Yes. What does he say to you? Yeah. Well, we were all there, obviously. It was a youth pilgrimage, so you don't really say much. So you just smile and shake hands and talk amongst one another. I always feel like all the popes, like the main job of the pope is just to move very slowly. Don't you find that?

They just move it like it's almost a snap. Yeah, very graciously and slowly. Yeah, it's gracious. Yeah, you're right. They shake their hands and they wave very slowly, so yeah. I think it probably feels like they're giving you around time. I'd just be like, come on, Pope. Come on, mate. Let's go get some stuff done. You wouldn't want to be his PA, would you? So where was this? It wasn't at the Vatican, right? so yeah I think it probably feels like they're giving you around time I'd just be like come on Pope come on mate

let's go get some stuff done you wouldn't want to be his PA would you so where was this it wasn't at the Vatican right it was in the Vatican city at his

summer villa oh wow remember when the Pope came here the Popemobile jeez we love that Popemobile it's like this weird

it's like a weird ute with a giant glass box on the top of it isn't it which he sort of sits in. Yeah, yeah, he sits in that and he's got all his guards around him. It's like he's a piece of furniture being moved on a Saturday morning from one flat to another.

That's a really cool story, Mary, and you have a great day. Touch the Pope. Thank you. The Annoying Ones Talking Between the Songs. Jono and Ben on the hits. Thank you. It's George Ezra. You're on the hits, Jono and Ben. Hey, it's awesome starting today. The Women's Cricket World Cup is taking place in New Zealand

with teams from around the world competing. Our own White Ferns had their first match against the West Indies in Tauranga this afternoon. And Laura McGoldrick from Brad and Laura in the Afternoons. And of course Sky Sport is going to be there. And I think she joins us right now. Laura, how are you? Good, how are you?

Bloody good, good. Are you on your way to Tauranga? Yes, I'm driving now. Are they playing in the Mount? Yeah, Bay Oval is the first game. Bay Oval. And do they put you up somewhere nice there in those nice towers by the thing? Well, I don't know

I was supposed to go last night and I rang to say, oh look, I'm probably going to be a bit late to check in, and they said, well you're not booked to stay tonight, so I wouldn't come I thought, okay, well let's drop a good time Drop your flyer, drop your real flyer So I'm glad you didn't arrive It would have been awkward

Really, I would have had to sleep in my car. Yeah. Well, someone's dropped the ball on the ACOM there with you. It's all teed up for the remainder, though? God, I hope so. Yeah. A bloody long tournament. What's happening to the host of the tournament?

I don't know. She's sleeping in the boot of her car. Laura McGoldrick, very exciting to have the ICC Cricket Women's World Cup here in New Zealand. What an event. It is such a great event and it's such a great time for women athletes but also just sports fans in New Zealand. It's been delayed a year

through the pandemic. If you think back to 2015, what it was like when the Blackcaps hosted the Cricket World Cup, what a time to be alive that was. So great and I can't wait for it to get underway, to be honest. Yeah, our team have been playing pretty well. They had some warm-up games against India and Australia. Looking pretty good.

What's the story with crowds, though? Because obviously we're living in this COVID red light world. Yeah, Ben, don't ask me questions like that. No, I do believe there are pods of 100 around the ground. I don't know if you would have seen at the test match at Hagley Oval, the Blackcaps played. They had little pods of 100 around the ground. I don't know if you would have seen at the test match at Hagley Oval, the Blackcaps played. They had little pods of 100 around the ground, and I do understand that it's similar for this.

Now, Laura, because Ben has been commentating cricket this week with the ACC. How is that going? Well, it's a childhood dream of his to commentate cricket. I don't know necessarily with the ACC, but maybe more what you're doing. But anyway, some of the baby steps. But have you got any advice for him? Yeah, that'd be good. You know, because I've wanted to do this,

as John has said, since I was a kid, and it was awesome. But they had a lot of people out with COVID. So it went from me just doing a little bit to me pretty much doing four days of a five-day test. So it was a lot of talking. I've exhausted all my cricket content. And then some.

And now he hates the sport of cricket. But what advice do you have for me? If he's a true cricket fan, he could never hate the sport of cricket. No, I don't hate it. Advice I'd give, well, see, it's an interesting one because Ian Smith always told me when you're doing the telly, you've got to let the pictures do a lot of the talking. And sometimes silence can be really great for the viewers at home.

I think, well, see, you and I, like you say, do very different things. You talk about animals making love to other animals. I talk about the actual players. So it's an interesting one. I don't know if the advice I have for you and your role at ACC is that sound. Has he, like now he has delved into the world of animal lovemaking, has that tarnished any future opportunities

for, you know, mainstream commentary? Well, what was concerning is he was dressed as a chicken as he was saying it, so I think that that might have derailed it only slightly in his respectability, but Ben's a very likeable guy, so never say never.

Yeah, what I like about Ian Smith is let the pictures do the talking. He's like, let me take half an hour off and go and grab a coffee. I love it, I love it. There's a game going on. Now, Laura McGoldrick, before we go, we want to bring something up with you.

Oh, yes. On your Instagram yesterday, now you posted some pictures. If anyone hasn't seen it, what are these pictures from? Where are they from? What pictures are you talking about? They were, let's just say, model-esque pictures. Okay, well, I'm mortified that we're talking about this one.

But two, I showed those, I sent those in my family group chat. I said, look, I've done these photos for these stylists. They asked me to be the model for them, which I have no business actually doing. I sent it in the family group chat, and my mum rang me and said, look, love, I'm sure they're nice if you're into that sort of thing, but what the hell are you doing wearing an oversized blazer

and these big earrings with no pants on? It makes no sense. Now, as a colleague and a friend, both Ben and myself, we thought, these are great pictures. You look fantastic. They look amazing. But we felt like absolute pests giving it a like. Yeah.

So we want to tell you. So what's the protocol? Because we're like, oh, yeah, we don't want to go on Instagram and go, oh, Ben Boyce likes it. Oh, get out of here. You know? But at the same time, we don't want to be unsupportive. Shook a flame on it for God's sake. Shook a flame on it, Ben Boyce likes, oh, get out of here, you know? But at the same time, we don't want to be unsupportive. Shook a flame on it for God's sake.

Shook a flame on it, Ben. Oh, Laura McGoldrick, hey, good stuff. Well, enjoy the weekend. The ICC Cricket Women's World Cup is going to be absolutely fantastic. It's great to have in New Zealand. And God, I hope you've got a motel booked. Yeah, we're all going well. I do have a car, so I can sleep in that.

That's fine. Spy next, you. What's coming up? Yeah, Taika Waititi has shared how he nearly missed his first interview for Thor. I'll tell you next. And here's the hits. You've got Benny, super lonely. Do you want to own, Ben?

I know I'm fucked up. I'm just a loser. Shouldn't be with ya. Guess I'm a quitter. Well, you're out the dream I've been told me 654 It is Benny on the hits

She announced she had COVID this week Isolating at home So we're sending her good wishes Doesn't she mean to be on tour? Not just yet Soon So yeah In a few months

So I think It's okay It's okay It's okay Have you got like a Financial investment in this? You sound a bit So, yeah. In a few months. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. Have you got like a financial investment in this? You sound a bit jumpy. It's all good.

It's all good. Spy. No what's up. Spy.co.nz. Sounds like you've got a lot riding on this tour. I've put a lot of money into it. All right. Here's Juliet with the news that we do before the actual proper news.

Spy, what's going on? So Taika Waititi was on James Corden's show and spoke about how he very nearly missed his first interview for Thor, which obviously he went on to direct. Now, it's quite a funny story. I just had a birthday and a whole lot of friends had come to visit me in Hawaii. And a bunch of them went back to New Zealand and they took a lot of my luggage with them. And my passport was in one of those suitcases. Not being from America, you can't travel domestically without some sort of American ID and all I had was a New Zealand driver's license and if you've seen one of those,

it looks like it comes out of a Cornflakes box. So I turned up to the airport and there were these lovely guys there at the customs. I showed them my ID, they laughed at me and they said, there's no way you're getting on this plane, mate. Have you got anything else? And I looked in my bag and I still had a contract sitting in there, an old contract from Moana, because I was the first writer on Moana. And to their credit, the guy looked at this thing, he said, hey bro, you're working on Moana.

Yeah, we're pretty excited about that. Get on that. I love that! And he let me on that plane. I'd like to thank those guys for me getting the job. So if he missed that flight, he would have missed his interview. Yeah, that's some laps airport security, hell yeah. I know.

Just because the guy was looking forward to the release of Moana. Yeah. He lets him through. Usually US security is hectic. It's tight. Yeah, it can be tight, yeah. But apparently so helpful. Very helpful.

Yeah, I heard a story recently about a lady who was trapped over. She hasn't been able to get back here. Her husband's here, but she's been locked overseas for seven months. Wow. Can't get back. Couldn't get a place in MIQ. So she flew from Europe to LA. And in that time, her flight was delayed, so her spot in MIQ was cancelled.

And she was stuck in America. And the security at LAX looked after her, took her around, got her a temporary visa, booked her on a new flight, gave her coffee. That's good. That's American hospitality. They get a bad rap, the Americans. Sometimes they do, you're right.

And can I just point out, Taika's friends, you never take another person's luggage. Can you take my luggage for me? Jesus, that's how you end up in an Indonesian prison. With a boogie board bag. Did you pack your bag? Oh god, I didn't bro. It's someone else's bag.

That is so true. And that is your Spike update for this hour. For more you can head to the hits.co.nz. Speaking of Taika not having his passport, if you haven't got your passport, we want to be paying for that. The renewal of your passport, if you're thinking about going overseas in the next six, 12 months, because you can again, well, we will be paying for expired passports after seven.

It is the hits. Rise and shine. Time to start the, um, who are we kidding? We're not the boss of you. Jono and Ben on the hits. Very exciting news in New Zealand. The borders are starting to be reopened again. They reckon about 900 New Zealanders from around the world

expected to touch down tomorrow. New Zealanders can also head to 120 countries without having to isolate upon their return. So about half... 120 countries? Wow, I didn't even know there were 120 countries. I can go to all of them right now. Yeah, so the border open for Kiwis coming back from Australia are open now.

And as of midnight tonight, the border is open for Kiwis from the rest of the world. So it's good we're starting to get back into, you know, what it was like pre-pandemic. Now, a friend of the show, Mike Lane, he said, came up with an idea, why don't you renew people's passports? Yeah. People would have forgotten to renew passports. And he's dead right. It's that little bit of administration that would have forgotten to renew passports and he's dead right. It's that little bit

of administration that would have fallen by the wayside. You know you're swept up and let's get over to Fiji. Well there's some other stuff you need

to think about and so that's what we thought we'd do this morning is help you renew your passport. How's your passport at the moment? To be honest I don't

know. I wouldn't know either. I haven't looked at it for the last couple of years because obviously international travel hasn't even been a thing all i know is my passport photo makes me look like i'm not fit to travel anywhere you know you'd be like give a covid test to that guy or he's going to get up to all sorts of nonsense in this country you basically look

like on your passport photo what you look like coming back from holiday you're like why do we have to you're not allowed to smile in them. Why do we always have to look so miserable in our passport photos? I reckon you have two passports. One, when it's a happy trip and you're like, hey, I'm smiling. And another one, you're like, oh, it's a business thing and I don't really want to go. Because it's obviously for identification purposes. Yeah.

But if the customs agent can't tell the same person's smiling and not smiling, should they be in their job? That's true. Now, we want to open up the phone lines to pay for some people's passports that have lapsed. Emily's with us on 0800 The Hits. How's Christchurch this morning, Em? Oh, Christchurch looks like it's a nice day today.

Yes, good. Oh, well, we're going to put you through. Your passport is expired. Yes, yes, it is. Oh, well, let's put you through to our passport line, the renewal line. Welcome to Jono and Ben's Passport Renewal Hotline. Yes, yes it is. Oh, well, let's put you through to our passport line, the renewal line. Welcome to Jono and Ben's Passport Renewal Hotline. We may record this call for training purposes.

To renew your passport, press 1. 1. Beep. For Jono, press 1. For Ben, press 2. To hear the options again, press hash. So, Jono, you got savagely cut out of that you might want to say

this is not a voice automated system hello Jono Ben's passport renewal hotline you've reached Ben how may I help you

this morning I'd like to renew my passport please oh yeah sorry I'm going to have to chuck you back through that's more of a Jono

question I'll just put you through to Jono hold the line there hello welcome to the passport of a Jono question. I'll just put you through to Jono. Hold the line there. Hello, welcome to the Passport Hotline. Jono speaking. I'd like to... No, you're the lady who didn't want to come through to me.

Yeah, I'll hand you back to Ben. Hold on. This is Ben speaking. How can I renew your... I need to go to Rarotonga to spice things up with the hubby. Oh, spice things up. That's more of a Jono sort of department. I'll throw you back to Jono. Hi, the spice things up department.

How exactly are you wanting to spice things up? Spare no detail. By having a date weekend with my hubby in Rarot, or maybe a long weekend. Oh, that sounds lovely. Hey, we want to pay for your passport. We'll renew that for you, all right? Thank you very much.

No worries. $191, did you know, to renew your passport? It's just something that you kind of don't. Yeah. It's a lot of money. Yeah. It's on us. But we're not going to fill out that tedious website.

That's on you. Get the sriracha out. You're going to spice things up in Raro With the hubby Awesome, thank you so much And you can think of us while you are I really appreciate You listening to the show, thank you so much And enjoy Rarotonga when you get there

That's how it works, simple as that 0800 the hits if your passport has expired We're renewing them all this morning give us a call if you want us to do yours tested safe for listing from home john owen ben on the hits the borders are open uh to from australia at least for kiwis to return as from midnight tonight the border is open for the rest of the world which is great it's all positive but i was just thinking probably spare a thought for a lot of Kiwis who haven't been able to go overseas or come back, you know, and have missed out on, you know, I guess going to

funerals, seeing loved ones before, you know, or births and all. There's been a lot of things that Kiwis have missed out on because this border's been shut. Yeah, you're right. There were some stories on the news last night or or the other night, when an elderly guy was arriving home from Australia, and his wife had passed away in Australia, and he was coming home to see his kids. Wow. Just heartbreaking stories. Yeah, there is heartbreaking stories. And on that cheery note, we'll renew some passports, Ben, with our comical passport renewal hotline, because a lot of passports have expired over the last two years and a lot of people are wanting to get out there.

And a lot of people are wanting to get out there. I know when we travelled through Europe, one of the biggest stresses for me was my paranoid pouch, Ben. Did you have one of those? He had a paranoid pouch. I thought it would be you that would have it, Ben. He called it the paranoid pouch too because he was very worried about people getting pickpocketed.

There was a lot of methamphetamine in there. No, I was constantly on edge about being pickpocketed. I even put the paranoid pouch inside of me. But then I left it on a plane. He left it on a plane. Oh, that is ironic. We were walking through. It was my passport.

We just got to customs and you're like, the paranoid pouch. And then he just ran back. That is so good. All right, let's open up our passport renewal hotline. Maggie, Maggie, Maggie, can't you see you're on the phone with Ben and me? Kia ora. Kia ora, good morning. You want to renew your passport?

Oh, yes, please. Yeah, definitely. I'd love it. Welcome to Jono and Ben Oh, yes, please. Yeah, definitely. I'd love it. Welcome to Jono and Ben's Passport Renewal Hotline. We may record this call for training purposes. To renew your passport, press 1. Okay, she didn't press 1.

Oh, she did. Okay, there we go. You didn't tell me I had to go onto my pad. Oh, she's on the pad now, Ben. Yeah. There's plenty of other options as well. Oh, she's on the pad now, Ben. Yeah. There's plenty of other options as well. We'll just give you one other option as well. For Jono, press 1.

For Ben, press 2. To hear the options again, press hash. Oh, okay. Is that you or me? I don't know. It's hard to tell, Jono. Hello, this is Jono and or Ben. We're not sure which is which.

Is that Maggie? It is. Yeah. How did you. Is that Maggie? It is. How did you know it was Maggie? Anyway. There's only one of me, but you two, I don't know. Yeah, now listen, there's holes all through this phone line, let's be honest. But Maggie, you want to renew your passport. Why is that? Oh, well, my brother, well,

actually, in all honesty, I had two brothers pass away last year. And one was over in Rarotonga. And due to COVID and everything else, I couldn't even get back to the funeral itself. Oh, just talking about this. Yeah, that's heartbreaking, isn't it? So you want to get over there for some event I'm gathering? Yeah, have you ever seen them do a tangi over in Rarau, over at the island?

No. They actually do a tomb. It's amazing. I've never seen it. And they put them in a tomb. And they're going to be doing what we class as an unveiling, like you do a headstone. They're going to do that over there in August. Look, you're going to make me cry every time I think about it.

Oh, I can imagine. Yeah, it must be a lot to not only not be there, but then to have to go over for this. So you really would love to pay for your passport, get that renewed for you, so you can go over and be there with your family. Oh, that would be cool, mate. Thank you so much.

And sorry for the tough time. I'm getting shivers up my back. Oh, no, it's been a tough couple of years for many people, but especially for you. Yeah, yeah. Thank you for that. No worries. We are thinking of you,

and thank you so much for listening to the show and all the best. And I love you for the show. You're probably a pair of idiots. Yeah, we are. Just, yeah, we are. There's nothing else I can say to that, apart from how did you rate the service? Well, I think she gave you a rating.

I'll tell you, when I'm in my truck, I spend nine times out of ten cracking up laughing at you two. Oh, well, we really do appreciate you listening, and lots of love to you, Maggie, and safe travels, okay? Okay, thank you. One year, no rent, no mortgage. The hits, live free. With oneroof.co.nz.

Of course, that was our song this morning. Maroon 5 was the song. So, oh, 800 the hits if someone wants to go in the draw for a year of mortgage or rent paid thanks to One Roof. Tracy, we're going to get you on the air. Can you believe it? This must be a real dream coming true right now. It is. It'll be even better when I get the key this afternoon, though.

Oh, she's coming in with confidence and we love it. Tracy, you're in the draw. Laura and Dave. Is Brad back from his tonsils? No, Dave's still filling in. Dave is filling in. They could be calling you this afternoon

and giving you one of five keys to live rental mortgage free for 12 months. Your thoughts? Oh, I want that key. It's mine. I like the confidence.

She's almost bullying them into giving it to her. I like the tactic, Tracy. Hey, good luck. And Shaw, what would you do with that money? Take my family on a holiday. Oh, nice. Well, hopefully it happens for you this afternoon. All right, hold the line.

We'll go over details. Thank you. Scrolling through your feed. All right, so we don't do hard-hitting news. It's more of a light spanking. And here he is, lightly spanking the news, Ben Boyce. Oh well yeah, there's been a lot of heavy news going around at the moment and

speaking of which, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern yesterday took a bit of a tour, a bit of a walk around the grounds at Parliament a day after the aftermath of the sort of violence that occurred around Parliament and she was walking around with old man Mallard and she described it as looking

like a rubbish dump and it did I don't know if you saw it on the news last night jeez it looked shocking the funny thing is she just walks down there when the protesters were there

yeah took a tour yesterday and all I could think about was getting some lawn seed out there oh yeah they do the grass is going to be an absolute nightmare

isn't it Old Man Mallard's going to be out there with his sprinklers so you'd be like the guy hosing it every morning Saturday morning getting out you don't want to get in early The grass is going to be an absolute nightmare, isn't it? Old man Mallard's going to be out there with his sprinklers. He'll be like the guy hosing it every morning, Saturday morning. You don't want to get in early before the sun gets into it and starts burning it. But it's very sad scenes, isn't it? Sad to see it. And we mentioned it yesterday.

Two years ago, we were the envy of the entire world. And two days ago, there were burning fires outside parliament just crazy scenes but uh yeah you do feel for everyone involved every part of that whole situation yeah the legitimate protesters the protesters who felt they had no other option apart from rioting the prime minister the government it's just sad already horrible and uh speaking of the horrible scenes as well stuff that's happening in the Ukraine right now with Russia invading is terrible as well. And the Ukrainian president, Zelensky,

he's become particularly well-known worldwide. Everyone's been really impressed with his leadership in a difficult situation. And of course, he's a former actor and comedian that we've been learning a lot about. He had a TV show, it was called Servant of the People, where he was playing someone who was a teacher who made an impassioned speech against the uh the government someone recorded it and then he became president in this tv show and then he kind of ran a few

years ago almost as a bit of a joke and a bit of pr you you've done it before you know get a bit of talkability he got in he got in and he has been incredible for them. And his TV show as well now, a certain number of people, has been snapped up around the world as well since the last couple of days' news. Yeah, so he'll be making a bit of extra hustle on the side, selling internationally, syndicating. Do you think he at any stage went,

hey guys, you know, this is just all a big sketch? And now I'm running an entire country. He won Dancing with the Stars in the Ukraine in 2006 too. He was the voice of Paddington in the Paddington beer overdub they did over there in the Ukraine as well for Paddington. A man of many talents. Yes. So, yeah.

I love the fact he's in a bunker and he's like, I'm going to, I will die for this country. Just the commitment the man has. Yeah, it's pretty incredible. And who knew who Zelensky was a week and a half ago? I know. Well, yeah, incredible stuff. Yeah.

If only you would lead a country like that, Ben. Imagine, you could be Prime Minister, mate. He's taking the same path as you. No, I'm not. You could be. I don't have that in me. You could be walking through the shambles outside Parliament. That could have been you.

He's impressive. They're all impressive. I can't do that. But what I can do is I can pay for someone's passport. All right? If your passport is lapsed, I can do that next.

All right? Oh, OK. That's good. I mean, yeah, yeah. If it's not quite, you know, what's the means? If it's something immediate action, that's what you want.

We'll do that. The show where the masks make them look a whole lot better. John Owen Bean on The Hits. It is The Hits. Jono and Ben borders open for Kiwis to return from Australia already and as of midnight tonight Kiwis from around

the world can return which is really awesome. A friend of yours suggested why don't we renew people's passports? What a great competition to do and this is literally the most popular thing we have ever done. We've done a lot of stuff over the years, most of it not being popular but it's an unusual feeling. It's not sitting well with me.

This is what popularity feels like. Yeah, I'm not comfortable with it. I'm not comfortable with it. Well, it's one of those things that people, you know, like you forget, firstly, that your passport needs to be renewed, and we haven't looked at it for a couple of years, but also it's one of those things

you don't really want to have to pay for. It's $191. That's a lot of dollars. For admin, really. Yeah, the other thing that annoys me about passports, not only having to pay for renewal of them, is the lack of respect from your average customs agent when you arrive in a country.

Let's pick a random page. Boom. Yeah. There's no linear. It's like, carefully go through the pages. Like, I've got Istanbul on one page, and then 900 pages later, the United States. Like there's no consistency with the stamping.

Yeah, right. It's almost like they don't care about their job. But we have opened up our passport hotline. If you want your passport renewed, 0800THEHITS. Yeah, Linda, you're on. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. How are you? Good morning.

Christchurch. Humming. Hum frothing in Christchurch this morning, Lindy. I am, I am. Yeah, I'm frothing in Christchurch this morning, Lindy. I am. I am. Yeah. I'm just sitting in my car and I was just dropping my daughter off and I was listening to her and I'm like going, oh my goodness, I really want to go to Perth to see my sister

and also my great nephew, which he's one. And it's like, oh, I keep on going. I've got to renew my passport and honestly, it's really lapsed about five years. Oh, five years. Well, you've come to the appropriate place in our legitimate passport renewal hotline. Welcome to Jono and Ben's passport renewal hotline.

We may record this call for training purposes. To renew your passport, press one. One beep. Press six if you are on the run from the law and needing a fake ID Definitely not Hello, you've come through to the you're on the run and needing a fake ID line Linda, tell you what, we're going to renew your passport You can go to Perth and see your nephew Oh my goodness, that's amazing, thank you so much meet your nephew yeah that's awesome yeah yeah absolutely I imagine

you've seen your nephew over you know over FaceTime or over photos but it's not quite the same as being there is it no it's not I just want to hug him and yeah yeah that would be so awesome and also to see my sister um She left because of the earthquakes, and she's been in Perth for 10 years, and it's like we haven't seen her. What, in 10 years? Yeah, yeah. Oh, my goodness.

Jeez. Oh, wow. Oh, yeah. You need to get over there, and hopefully that can happen very soon. Oh, thank you so much. All right. You're good on your end.

Have a great weekend. Will do. We've got $5,000 up for grabs next. Five Words 5K. It is the hits. You've got Jono and Ben. Five Words for 5K. You're just five words away from $5,000. We've got

$5,000 on the line. We do it every morning at this time. Five Words 5K. Match your five words. You'll win five grand. Michelle, there's 171,476 words in the English language and all you need to do is match five of those words with us. Yeah, that would be nice. The odds are in your favour.

What do you do, Michelle? Actually, Akira and the staff are mum. Oh, good on you. And right now, getting the kids ready for school. Yes. High pressure. Every second counts. Oh, good on you. And right now, getting the kids ready for school. Yes. High pressure. Every second counts. Yeah, it does, actually, when my girls,

they muck around a lot. You're just like, put on some shoes. Just everyone puts on shoes. Put on the shoes. Yeah. We don't have to deal with that, Ben, do we? I'm sounding like it's our issue every morning. That's right.

Yeah. All right, Michelle, who are you going to send to the soundproof booth to match words with? Jono please I haven't been coming through for people the last couple of days so hopefully Jono can do it for you Michelle Here is your first word this morning, it is H2O

Water Water, that seemed like the obvious one Triceratops is the second word Triceratops is the second word. Triceratops. Yeah. Dinosaur. Dinosaur, yeah.

I don't know. Yeah, no, I think that's exactly what popped into my head, producer Julia. Yeah, me too. Yep. Visitor is word number three. Visitor. Visitor. Yeah.

Visitor. Guest. Guest. Nice. Yeah, very good answer, that one, because it was a tricky one. Race. Race. We can come back to that one, give you another shot,

just to see if you're happy with that. But race is the fourth word. R-A-C-E. Race. Race. Like running a race? Yeah, like running a race. Is that what it is?

Race? Yeah, yeah. R-A-C-E? Yeah. I'll come back to that one. Okay. And email is the final word email yeah email oh no as soon as you think of that you're like there's a lot of options for email

i know email i just thought it'd be computer oh yeah okay so the race one yeah make it come computer hard i know you've got it you started so well and now it's it's they're tough words aren't they okay so race make it running race running race yep and the email email email email i thought internet computer computer I'll say internet You did it really well because there were some tricky words there this morning Michelle I know I've listened so much and I was like I would never have thought of that

and then you guys go for it It's almost like someone here doesn't want you to win the money Who is it? It's almost like he's doesn't want you to win the money. Who is it? I'm looking at producer Behumps there. It's almost like he's looking after a budget or something here. He's our wordle. He comes up with the wordles each day for us. All right, Michelle, I'm going to channel Vin Diesel.

I'm going to play a fast and furious game here. Michelle's like, oh. I'm going to do it a quarter mile at a time, too. All right, here we go. First word, Jon Jono H2O Water Well done Triceratops

Dinosaur This is good This is good Okay Visitor Visitor Visitor? Yeah I know

Visitor Sorry I'm slowing down now Vin Diesel's slowing down I'm not playing fast It's a tough one that one This is where things started to get tough Around this word Visitor

Would you go like a guest or something? Oh! Oh Michelle! I didn't think you were going to get that one. Well done. Race is word number four. R-A-C-A. Race? Running race. Oh! Michelle!

Oh my god. Michelle I was not not I had no hope Get your confetti cannon Bee hubs Put Michelle on hold Because this is one We're one word away From $5,000

Can we do it on a Friday Oh this would be good Okay Last word Email Email Yeah I know I know

Yeah there's lots of options So email Email I'll go Spam email Yeah, I know, I know. There's lots of options for email. Email. I'll go spam email. There's lots of options for email. Michelle. Yeah. We were so close.

I know. Oh, mate. Sorry. That was a hard one. I kept thinking in computer. Email message. What did you go, Michelle? I went email, internet. Oh, yeah.

Jeez, that was a tough word. I know. Yeah, mate. It was good. It was a good game. It was a good game. It was great. It was a good game.

Yeah, it was a good game. It was a good game. That's a good post-match. Hey, Michelle, have a great weekend, all right? You too. Thank you. Bye. Spy.

Know what's up. spy.co.nz Alright, she's coming in hot, and that's not an analogy, I think she might have a fever and is showing flu-like symptoms Here's Juliette. I don't have COVID Neighbours has officially been cancelled after 37

years, it'll fully wrap up in June, and this is the TV show that has featured all of the Hemsworth brothers, Margot Robbie, Kylie Minogue, Russell Crowe and Natalie Imbruglia. Wow, big stars, eh? Big stars. Big bangers. All of the Hemsworth brothers, even Harry Hemsworth,

the third one. Yeah, I think so. Must have been. Is his name Harry Hemsworth? I actually don't know the third one. Liam Criss and... Liam Criss and... The other one is an actor, quite a popular actor in Australia. That's amazing. I just read an article too. 28,000 people have worked on Neighbours over the years.

28,000? 28,000 people. Goodness me. That's crazy. Isn't it ending because it's a co-production between Australia and England? UK, yeah. It's massive in the UK. 1.5 million UK viewers daily.

1.5 million as opposed to 170,000 in Australia. So it's a lot more people watching in the UK. Why is it so ratings obviously dwindling? Ratings have been dwindling as well. We know about dwindling ratings. A petition has been signed to try and keep neighbours alive, over 60,000 people. We also know about that.

Don't worry, it doesn't work. For our TV show. That was lovely. Thousands of people signed a petition. It made no difference. Yeah. A waste of everyone's time. It was great for us,

but it made no difference to our bosses. We were still dwindling. We still are dwindling. A lot of these people, yeah. But they're wanting to, for the final few episodes, to ensure the show goes out on a high.

They've been approaching a bunch of famous actors. They've approached Kylie Minogue and Jason Donovan as well to return for the final few episodes. So that'll be good for everyone who's been following it for quite a long time. Yeah, and it's, I think, a snapshot of where content is nowadays and how people digest it. Yeah.

You know, there's just so many competing services. Streaming services. Yeah. You know, all the services, Ben. You know, there's just so many competing services. Streaming services. Yeah. You know, all the services, Ben. You know the services. Yeah. You know, a standard 5.30pm Neighbours show on TV. It's so sad.

It's pretty hard to survive in this environment, isn't it? Yeah, right. It's quite sad knowing that, like, kids these days probably won't grow up being like, oh, it's on at 7 o'clock, I need to sit down and watch it. Oh, the ads are on. Cool, I can go to the bathroom while the ads are on. All they're used to is just... Or having to sit through MASH or something.

I don't understand any of this. Look at the MASH. It's the only thing on. MASH was so bleak. Hot Lips Houlihan. Remember Hot Lips Houlihan? That wouldn't stack up today, would it? No, you couldn't call her Hot Lips now.

Dragged through the coals. So, RIP to Neighbours. You will be missed. That is very sad. And the problem is, too, Neighbours isn't 15 seconds long and they're not doing TikTok dances. That's why they're not.

Maybe they've changed the format. And that is your Spy Update for this hour. For more, head to the hits.co.nz. After eight, as I said before, we're paying for people's lapsed passports. If you've got a passport lapse and you want to go overseas this year, 4487 on the text.

The great thing about listening to this show is that the day can only get better from here. Jono and Ben on the hits. The borders are open. Kiwis can come back from Australia as of now and as of midnight tonight the border is open for the rest of the world. 900 Kiwis from around the world

expected a touchdown tomorrow. Isn't that cool? Isn't that great? It sort of feels like a good step towards normality. Yeah. The glory days of the 2018s, the 2019s. Maybe you could just do whatever you wanted. Remember travelling?

Oh, yeah. It feels like a distant memory, but it's now becoming a reality for some, which is great. And yeah, our friend Mike, he suggested that we renew people's passports. And this is, the text machine is blowing up. The phone lines, Ben, off the hook, bro.

Off the hook. Well, it's one of those things you don't really want to have to pay for. $191, you know, for some paperwork. What are you paying for? Like $191 seems obscene. Yeah. But you have to fill out the website. I know.

What are they doing? You're providing the file. They're putting it all together In a little book for you So that's pay for someone's passport renewal Nicky you're on Welcome Hello how are you? We're doing well Nicky

It's great to have you on New Zealand's Breakfast We'll just transfer you through To the totally legitimate Passport renewal hotline Welcome to Jono and Ben's Passport renewal hotline We may record this call for training purposes. To renew your passport, press 1.

Press 3 if you would like to listen to Dave Dobbin, 660 or Lorde for the next nine hours while we attend your call. Is there another option? Hello, welcome to the Passport Renewal Hotline. Hello. Hi, Nikki. We want to renew your passport. That's a given.

Why else would you be calling this hotline? But what do you need it for? So I just had my birthday and my party had to be cancelled thanks to COVID. However, my sister who lives in Brisbane, who I've not seen for some years now, they rang me on my birthday and said that once everything opened, they were shouting me a ticket over there

to have a holiday with the family. Oh, that's awesome. What's your sister's name? Kirstie. Kirstie, it would be a disgustingly early hour in Brisbane right now, wouldn't it? It would be shocking Let's call her Oh jeez

Let's call her, she's got to stick to her word now We'll pay for your passport, that's a given And now she needs to, I guess, come through and pay for your trip This is early, this is very early We don't have to deal with the fallout Poor Nicky's going to have to Okay This is an early call We don't have to deal with the fallout. Poor Nicky's going to have to. Okay.

This is an early call. When you answer the phone at this hour, you think something's terribly wrong, don't you? Hello? Hey, John, I'm Ben calling from the Hits radio station in New Zealand. Oh, hey. Hey, we've got Nicky on the phone with us. Yeah.

Okay. What time is it there? It's early. Yeah, yeah. I was just saying how early it is. Yeah. And, uh... Okay. What time is it there? It's early. Yeah, yeah. I was just saying how early it is. Yeah, sorry. Anyway, you're on the radio. There's a lot to take in right now. You're half asleep. It's okay. It's like 4... 4 a.m. I thought it was close to... Yeah, you're right.

Oh, jeez. Hey, Nikki, you may as well talk to your sister and just tell her what we've done. Hi. Hi. So, I rang up the radio station and they're going to renew my passport. And now I just need you to do the other part of the deal. And I'll be seeing you soon for my birthday. Yay. That's so cool.

So I'm basically getting a free passport and a free trip to Aussie. Yay. And I'm going to have the best fun ever. Yay. And you're getting an early morning phone call on the radio, so everyone's a winner. So you're going to reunite! Yay, that will be awesome.

I haven't seen her for like, well, it's over two and a half years. And the last time we saw each other, our uncle passed away. So that'll be so nice. Oh, good., well can I just say for someone who's been woken up in the hour of four o'clock in the morning

jeez you've picked your game up, just straight into conversation like you've woken up You know you did tell me I'm on the radio. Yeah, you're like it's showtime baby That was impressive It's the phone call I get after that won't be so nice Yeah you're like why did you do that?

Hey, enjoy the trip. It sounds like it's going to be an amazing time reuniting. Enjoy. It will be very cool. Thank you. See you later.

If you want to renew your passport or wake up some family member somewhere in the world, 0800 THE HATS will do more next. Jono and Ben.

And not afraid to use the F word. Be family friendly and fun next Jono and Ben They're not afraid To use the F word Be family friendly Fun Jono and Ben On the hits You're with Jono and Ben On your Friday morning

The borders Are opening up As of now You know Australia Kiwis coming back From Australia Can come back From today

Wai she from A couple days ago And from tonight The rest of the world Kiwis can come back Which is awesome It's really cool You'd be shocking At doing Jacinda's job.

You'd be handing out all sorts of information and going back on yourself and going, no, come back from today. Oh, no, no, that was a couple of days ago. I would be. Yeah. But then there's some more people who can come home next week, I think. Oh, no, that's the following week. You'd be. Yeah, I would be shocked.

All sorts of misinformation. But it is exciting. And this morning, we are renewing people's passports because it's one of those. It's probably the last thing you think about is your passports. Has it lapsed? And many of us haven't used our passports for many years now. Yeah, you were saying just off-air you had an issue taking photos of babies. They were your babies, by the way. I've been helping out Anne Geddes for her latest calendar.

Anne Geddes? Remember when we'd just chuck babies in pot plants? Put a cute little sunflower on top of you. She had a good market there. Yeah. Now, have you ever told... I remember when one of my daughters, I think it was Indy, when she was really young,

we had to get a passport photo because we were visiting family overseas. And trying to get a baby to look at the camera and also not smile and look at... It was just... I happened to lie her down, I remember, because obviously you can't be in the photo, you can't hold up.

It's a shocking system. Full credit to Anne Getty. She did it for years, made a business out of it. Maybe she should have got her to do the photo. Put India in a little pot plant for her passport photo. What, have you got a plant as a child? On the phone with us right now, Raewyn. G'day, Raewyn.

Welcome to 0800 The Hits. How are you? Good morning. Now, you want to get your passport renewed? Yeah, I do. Is it fine if I have it renewed? Sorry, Raewyn. There's a bit of a process we need to go through.

Yeah, you know, it's bureaucracy. Sorry. We're civil servants. You know, we've got to stick to rules. Yes, sometimes they're tedious, but we can't actually renew your passports. This version of Jono and Ben can't. No, we can't do it. Until we're in the official process.

So here we go. Welcome to Jono and Ben's Passport Renewal Hotline. We may record this call for training purposes. To renew your passport, press 1. Press 4 to leave a voicemail, which we won't clear, because whoever listens to voicemail. Press 5 if you think this is more tedious than waiting for the IRD. Hello, John, I'm Ben's hotline. I understand this is Rowan?

Yes, that's right. Can I just say this is not our hotline. Our hotline's the thing we do afterwards. Oh, this is not the hotline. We're like, hi, welcome to the hotline. Yeah, this is the passport renewal line. I always get those mixed up, don't I? If you're on the hotline, that's going to cost you top dollar.

Ray, when you want to renew your passport, and we want to do it for you, mate, $191. That bill all sorted, okay? Oh, that is brilliant. Thank you very much. You're very welcome. Where are you planning on heading to? So, hopefully New Orleans.

Oh, wow. I've heard hopefully New Orleans. Oh, wow. I've heard of New Orleans. I've never been there. Yeah, it seems like an amazing place. You've been there before? No, my brother lives there. He moved there from Texas last year. But he's been over there for probably about 15 years.

And I haven't seen him since 2015. So making dreams come true guys, thank you Oh that's good, so we understand he's got some children you've never met, you've got children that he's never met, just a lot of children that have never been met. Yeah, yeah, so the cousins will mate finally, yeah

Awesome, that's a mate down to the old bayou Is that what they say? I think they say they're new and late, I saw what's that one with Oh, the princess and the frog Yeah, yeah, yeah, Tiana Is that what they say? I think they say they're New Orleans. I saw, what's that one with... Oh, the princess and the frog. Yeah, Tiana. Yeah, Tiana, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They just had the Mardi Gras, actually, a couple of days ago in New Orleans. Yeah, my brother actually went to one recently, and they showed me all the pictures of all the inappropriate teddy bears that were given to the children. Oh, really? Is it? Okay. Oh, well, now your children can have inappropriate teddy bears.

Why not? It's memorabilia, right? Hey, good on you. Hey, well, I'm glad we can do that. Glad we can renew your passport. Say hello to your brother for us, and he'll go, who are they? But you have a great day. Thank you very much, guys.

You too. Two semi-competent dads handing out semi-competent parenting advice. Jono and Ben on the hits. Full disclosure, there's not much about me that interests people. Ben Boyce, you like to call me the super thick white bread of human beings. You have a few little quirks though. You don't eat during the day. Yeah, you're quite a mysterious person for someone that's like on the radio.

Social but also unsocial person. At the same time, the same breath. Extremely unsocial, but extremely social. There's quite a lot to unpack, really, isn't there? Only child, you know, which is a lot. Born in the USA. Born in the USA. There's a few little quirks there.

Actually, when you do it like that, I'm sort of an odd person. But one thing that really, for some reason, becomes a rich source of conversation is when I'm writing something and people go, oh, you're left-handed. And I've been left-handed my entire life. But everyone's surprised to see a left-handed person. I don't know why. I don't know what they're around. They're only 10 to 12% of the population worldwide. One in 10 sort of are left-handed, right?

Yeah, but they're like, oh, you're left-handed. That's always, oh, you're left-handed. Like it's some sort of dark secret that I've been hiding and finally I've decided to own and be proud of. Well, I guess you don't see people write too much these days because a lot of people are using their phones or computers. But it looks like it's very painful for you to write anything. Am I an awkward-looking writer?

Yeah, you do. You don't make it look smooth. Your writing style's nice, though, don't get me wrong, but you look like you've got a little... A whiteboard is my arch-nemesis. It is, because you know you're going along things you've just written with the side of your hand. It's hard to write.

Couldn't be a teacher. But the only fact I know is when people go oh you're lefties and i'm like did you know also barack obama and bill clinton are left-handed oh really and left-leaning politically as well so it's a win-win for them and that's that's the same conversation i have with people but then sometimes you're right-handed and something like we'll go do something like a sports thing and then they'll be like oh john is defeated you're like no no i'll do this right like oh okay thing. And then they'll be like, oh, Jono's left-handed. And you're like, no, no, I'll do this right. Like, oh, okay.

You know, you're quite. Oh, but then that's the follow-on conversation. Then I go, oh, then I'm ambidextrous. And they're like, oh. And I don't find it that interesting. But people, for some reason, are intrigued by left-handed people. Jeremy Wells, of course, you know, is on 7 Sharp every evening. And I was doing some cricket commentary with him over the weekend.

Richard Hadley, his idol. And his son, Richard Hadley, batted left-handed and bowled right-handed, which is quite unusual. And so his son now plays cricket. And his son is like, he's made his son bat left-handed. Like Richard Hadley. And bowled right-handed to be like Richard Hadley. But it's not his son's natural thing to do.

He's just like, you're going to be like Richard Hadley. And that's the way you do it. And his son's like, who's Richard Hadley? Pretty much. But he's not his son's natural thing to do. He's just like, you're going to be like Richard Hadley. That's the way you do it. And is his son like, who's Richard Hadley? Pretty much. But he's doing it. It's worked out. It's working out all right. But yeah, it's like, force that upon his son.

It doesn't feel like that's a thing that would work out all right. It feels very unnatural to someone who's maybe just right-handed. Why are you making me do this the other way around? Sir Richard Hadley did it, and he was the greatest cricketer we ever had. It's Jono and Ben, but FYI, Ben is open to other options. Jono and Ben on the hits. And as old news,

Mitch James, 837 on the hits. He's got new music coming out later today. A new song called History. We're very excited about hearing that for the first time. And he's joining from california from la mitch james how's it going buddy bloody better now team how are we wonderful stuff new music from you which we're very excited about my friend how long has this been in the works this song um i wrote this song about last year but the whole release has been about two and a half three years in the making so with covid and everything and lots of dramas behind the scenes,

it just hadn't been the time. And now it's the time and getting the album ready. And we've got a single that I'm really, really happy with, which has got a great story behind it as well. What is the story behind the song? So basically, I'll try and make a long story very short here but uh i fell in love with a girl when i was living in australia but she was back in new zealand on instagram and uh we dated for a year and things were great and then it sort of fizzled out and then we got back together and

then it fizzled out and then we got back together blah blah blah blah so so on and so forth and um it's uh basically just about sort of the person that no matter how hard you try, you just kind of can't help yourself, I guess. Do you find that when you do get into relationships now that your partner's like, oh, he's going to write a song about this. He's going to write a song. I think so. I think so.

He's going to write a smash hit song about this. Look, it's the Taylor Swift effect. If you break this little, this precious little heart of mine, I'm going to come swinging for the fences. Swing it. And we love that precious little heart, Mitch. You've been through a lot. And I guess in some ways it's probably good for writing material.

Obviously it's been hard with COVID in the world for touring. But last time you came in, I want to talk to you about this. You told us about how you were like 30 centimetres away from death in a car accident. You told us this. Yes, the last time I was here. Yes. But you told us after we'd done the radio interview, you told us, we're like, wow, amazing story.

We didn't record it. Then you go off to bloody Moore FM, tell the story on the radio. They get all the headlines. No, you know what's funny though you know what's funny is i actually didn't know that they were recording at the time so they pulled a sneaky on me and then i and then and then i go onto my phone later on that day and i'm getting sent bloody messages from people go oh my god are you all right and blah blah blah and they put it on the on bloody stuff.co.nz no no listen where you can guarantee we wouldn't stitch up like that mainly because we didn't have

we didn't have the recorder running but if we did boy oh boy we would have yeah so because harrowing story just quickly uh recap it you're traveling with a friend and you went over a cliff or something yeah so um so basically i was in a a very nice car with a friend and he decided that it was time to push pedal to the metal. And the right brake, I could see there was a little notification going on on the screen that said the right brake isn't particularly working very well. So he was speeding into what happened to be a dead-end street as he kind of played chicken. He hit the brakes, car locked up, slid sideways, smashed into this barrier, which is basically protecting cars from going over a cliff,

ripped one of the barrier things out of the ground and basically, yeah, would have been less than a metre away from a very, very, very long fall slash scream. Jeez. Now, surely you wrote a song about that. I think I'm still too traumatised. Fair enough. The day I almost died.

Hey, Mitch, just want to let you in here. Ben Boyce, he's been like a little puppy dog because for weeks now, he's like, oh, Mitch James is going to come over to my house for a beer. Yes. Yeah. He's been putting off engagements. I'm like, what do you want to do this weekend? He's like, oh, I can't do anything because Mitch James might be coming over.

Ben, Ben, Ben, let me apologize to you live in front of the country. So hang on. Me and Ben were meant to catch up over a little business idea that I have. But the last two weeks of coming over to the States have been craziness. So Ben, I apologise. It's true. He's not lying to you, Jono. I'm free this weekend.

Yeah, we'll put it on the house. Put it on the house. But the other weekend after that, Mitch might come round. So I've saved a little seat for Mitch. Keep holding on to hope. He's had a cheese board slowly

rotting for six weeks. Just waiting for you around. He'll be very blue at that perfect age. Oh Mitch James

you're a bloody champion mate. I love you boys. Love you dearly. Jono and Ben. I have a theory that Jono's the world's worst driver while on Monday on the show

I have someone Jono that could rival you I was learning over 14 years. I believe I've had around about 300 driving lessons across that time. Wow Well I had no lessons and I don't have my licence and I'm still

driving. Have yourself a great weekend New Zealand We'll catch you Monday from 6 o'clock