Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: Is Owning 56 Cats Weird?

Episode Date: November 8, 2021

We spoke to a guy who currently owns 56 of them. Why? Have a listen. We also played our game Liar Liar and ended up chatting to someone who has walked the length of the south island! Finally, Ben's dog goes to Doggy Day Care and gets an annual report card. Ben and his dog are far more alike than we realised! Enjoy the show.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Guys, guys, guys. Welcome.

It's the podcast. It's Tuesday the 9th of November. Benjamin Boyce is over there, feeling good, feeling fine. Aren't you? I'm feeling okay, yeah. Did I mullet shame you yesterday that now you've come to work in a hat? Oh no, I've just been mixing it up with a hat from time to time. You know hats are my thing.

Yes, I know. Staying alone. You did take a nice little video we put on our social media review with a picture of like a porcupine and sort of going between me and the porcupine. The resemblance is uncanny. And when I saw it, I was like, oh, well played, well played. It did look quite, yeah.

How's the mullet today? Anyway, is it good? It's great. Oh, I haven't really done it. It's been wearing a hat. It's definitely hat hair going on at the moment. But hey, it's there. When you wake up in the morning and look in the mirror.

Yeah, sometimes I'm like, oh, I'm doing that, am I? But hey, it's all right. I had the same hair for, you know, and I'll probably go back to it for a while, but it's nice to mix it up. Jeez, I'm just looking at the farmer's ad, the old catalogue models. Jeez, they're good-looking people, aren't they? The farmer's catalogue. Have you ever modelled?

Have you ever done some catalogue modelling? Well, it wasn't catalogue modelling, but back in the day, it was many years ago, I was in school and I got a job, I signed up for an Italian agency and I got a job and I was like, oh, this is cool, I'm going to be like a model. And I was kind of technically, I guess, I was a model, but I was the person that was wearing a bicycle helmet wrong in the thing. So it was the ways not to wear the bicycle helmet.

I was that guy. Can I just ask, how do you put a helmet on wrong? What sort of dunce are you? Were you wearing it over your face? It was just sort of loose and off to the side, down over one eye. Backwards with one of it. So it was like three, you know.

Who is putting a bike helmet on backwards? Well, maybe the campaign worked so well that no one's doing it now. But maybe back then it was. Maybe now, because of your fine modelling works that it just seems ludicrous that anyone would do it. So I was along the side of a poster, I remember. Oh, you made the cut?

Yeah, I made the cut. Asked the person what not to do. I wasn't good enough for the... Did they tell you what you were going to be doing? No, I can't remember what I was doing. I thought, oh, it's a bike thing. It's a bike modelling job. But I was the...

It was kind of like the infomercial, the idiot at the start of the infomercial that spills stuff everywhere. You can't shut a cupboard. Yeah. I was that person. So I wasn't the main model as such. Hey, still in the modelling game, dip your toes. Yeah, exactly.

It was my foray into modelling. So I love those infomercials. If you do yourself a favour today and look up white people not being able to do the most basic of acts, and it's a montage of all these clumsy white people not being able to do the most basic of acts and it's a montage of all all these clumsy white people generally in black and white shot at the beginning of infomercials just not being able to like sit on a couch

pour a glass of water turn a shower on stuff we're all doing every day and it's always with some voice going are you sick of such and such you're like what no I'm not doing that. I'm turning the TV on just fine. But that's my dad. Your dad got

sucked into the old QB, didn't he? The sit down bike? Yeah, he got the QB. Sit on the couch and you can do the tour de France from the comfort of your living room. Or watching The Chase. That's what you can do. Does he still use the QB? I don't know.

I haven't been to visit since he got the QB? I don't know. I haven't seen, I haven't been to visit since he got the QB, but yeah, I want to have a crack at it. It looks like a lot of fun, the QB, but yeah.

Oh, it wears off. Having purchased a couple of As Seen on TV products, I did get the, it was like, kind of like the Ab, I got a couple of

Ab-based products. Oh yeah. One was like this Ab Arrow. It's sort of like a crossbow, but you'd push it back on your abs. Oh, yeah, did it work? Do you remember? No.

Have you seen my abs? Well, yeah, maybe you didn't stick with it. I don't know. And then we also got, I don't think we actually purchased it, but we got given it, the Ab Circle Pro. Now, that was, you'd hold onto a bar, rest your knees onto this plate. No, and you'd swing left to right. Oh, okay.

You've got to swing around. It's just the most giant, inconvenient piece of equipment that ends up sitting in your house and you just palm it off to the landfill or something. It's one of those things that would start out with good intentions. You'd have it in the bedroom. You'd have it ready on display. And then as you gradually used it,

less and less it'd probably be in the garage and eventually out by the side of the road where you give it away to someone. That's sort of the three-step process a lot of those things go through. You don't want to, you know, rip the plaster off and kick it out of the house immediately. No. You still want to think like you still sort of love it, but it just slowly moves its way to the driveway. You're right.

The other one I've been noticing on TV at the moment too is the flimsy treadmill. Have you seen this treadmill? Oh, man, it's a great idea, like having your own portable treadmill that goes under the bed. Yeah, I was like, yeah, but it does your life. No, it just looks like, even the models look like they're tippy-toeing on it. You've got your own treadmill at home, right?

No, it's not working. Broke it. It's not working? Yeah. And that was a nightmare to put together. Oh, really? Oh, jeez. Too flimsy, mate.

Yeah, I think I'm too flimsy. But yeah, so there you go. Some mad scene on TV stuff. Yeah. But the Nutribullet intrigues me. I've never seen a Nutribullet in action. I'm wondering if that's any good. Oh, it's meant to be very good.

Yeah. It's meant to be very good. But anyway, enjoy the podcast today. Thin Lizzy? You use Thin Lizzy? No, I haven't. But again, I've heard good things about Thin Lizzy. I love this song.

Wake up, get busy. Busy. It's time about Thin Lizzy. I love this song. Wake up, get busy. Busy, it's time for Thin Lizzy. Hey, time for Jono and Ben, the podcast. That's right, the podcast. It's here. Have a good one. New Zealand's breakfast. This is Jono and Ben on the hits.

Good morning, New Zealand. Welcome on to the show. It is a Tuesday morning. Jono and Ben with you. Andrew Dickens, who works next door. He's a breakfast host as well on Gold FM. I saw him in the kitchen just before and he said, oh, got legs out, have we?

Yeah, and he even mentioned it to me because I walked in a couple of months after. He goes, oh, your mate's got his legs out. He's like, oh. He's gone too soon, firstly. And we don't need to see that at that time in the morning. Sorry, I've got shorts on and these milky white winter legs, they're on debut and they're shocking, shocking the community out there.

The community transmission is right for these legs. So you might want to socially distance from them. It's actually just announced we're going to stay in lockdown so no one can see your legs. That's the big news this morning. How's everyone going this morning, all right? Yeah, my legs are just as pasty. I saw Juliet, I walked in and I saw Juliet through the window

and she didn't notice me and she went... You know, she took a big deep breath in and a big sigh out, just blowing out the big ones this morning, Ju. I know. Are you hurting? I made the fatal mistake of having about an hour and a half nap yesterday, which meant I couldn't get to sleep last night, which meant I'm tired this morning, but I've had my coffee,

and I'm ready to go. You can't pass over that 60-minute threshold when you're napping during the day. No, I know. If you do, it's all sorts of trouble at night time. Exactly. Yeah, anyway, we'll blow on through the show. We'll be breathing deep and getting through to 9 o'clock.

Yeah, we'll update you with all the latest information from yesterday's big announcement from the government.'clock. Yeah, we'll update you with all the latest information from yesterday's big announcement from the government. As well as that, we're talking cats, we're talking dog reports, and we're talking $5,000 this morning with 5 Words 5K. Notice

lately, and it is going into that time of year too, where Mr. Whippy, the whipster, dusts off the truck and starts circling the neighborhoods didn't you can sort of hear the green sleeve song in the distance um you know the the chimes that he plays yeah green sleeves juliet i haven't asked you to get there so if you don't i won't judge you okay um oh there is is that it it is amazing i think eddie murphy does a stand-up but about it many years ago,

but it's amazing how kids can hear that from anywhere. Yeah. From kilometres away. We were biking the other night, and the kids were like, oh, there's a family bike ride, all right, should we go home? And then they heard the Mr. Whippy truck, and they're like, we've got to keep going. And I was like, yeah, they just towards the sound.

It was like I was calling them. Yeah, like taunts the children from a distance. We've got to find him and then if you know the mr whippy graces his presence inside your actual street wow yeah panic stations go get the coins and you're running around trying to find coins in the drawers and everyone's sprinting around it's like oh you know we get ice cream we go down to the dairy get an ice cream but all of a sudden there's this pressure put on When Mr Whippy's in your street I thought it would also be a great A great name for a bondage business

Yes, it would be A mobile bondage business Dropping off whips and bits and chains I thought that could be a bit of a diversifier We know We met our friend Carl Who owned a Mr Whippy franchise as well. We got to run one for the day.

It was very exciting. It is fun. You see the joy that it actually brings to people when you turn up and it's like Mr. Whippy's here. I wonder how many Mr. Whippys there are because you always just imagine there's just one but there must be a whole franchise thing. And you imagine they'd have their turf too.

You couldn't be driving your Mr. Whoopi to someone else's turf. You'd be like, oh. It'd be a fight to the death with the soft serves and the coats. There was a Mr. Whoopi truck here at the radio station for years, wasn't it? One of the stations had one. And apparently the giant bugbear was cleaning out the soft serve machine. And then you had young, snot snotty nose promotional kids getting into radio who didn't care and they would just leave

it rotting away in the garage I think they had to burn that machine didn't they yeah they had to retire it David Seymour speaking Mr Wilford remember a couple of months ago he brought in it was sort of to support businesses local businesses he brought it in to parliament but no one came

down because it was David Seymour. He's like, do you know how much I paid this guy for the hour? He was the only one that got ice cream. And I mean, everyone probably just did it out of principle, going, oh, it's Seymour's idea, I don't want to be part of that. But you know the National Labour were sitting up there going, we really want ice cream.

It's that tune, it's hypnotic, isn't it? I thought you could also do Mr. Wimpy as well, just a guy that drives around the neighborhood and the kids can bully him to raise their self-esteem. Yeah, that's a good idea. There's some other options out there. What did you want to do, Mr. Sippy, too, didn't you,

which is like a mobile drinking truck? Yeah, there were some sort of legalities around that, I think, but I always thought, you know, you're at the beach, it's a hot day, you're like, I'd love a beer, and then you hear like a drunken version of that. You're like, Mr. Sippy's here. beach it's a hot day i could i'd love a beer and then you hear like a drunken version of that there's the sippies here you can go out there and get a beer poured from a little thing i was like that is so smart i think we looked into it but i think there's a lot of they said well that's grossly irresponsible yeah yeah we still pay for it you have to id everyone but yeah but again this was you then they kept saying mate you can't just drive around and hand out beer.

Maybe now they'll do it, because they seem to be making up laws and all sorts of things at the moment, so you know, maybe. Maybe, yeah, picnics, you're right, Mississippi, it could be back. Kia ora, I'm Rachel Jackson-Lees, and this is the B**** News. Yeah, Juliet brings us the news that really doesn't matter, and here's why we've got a digger and buried it at 6.17 a.m. in the morning. How does this work, mate? Rachel Jackson-Lee's actually replied when I sent her the news stories to record. She goes, these are all so interesting. I actually wasn't really confident.

You put us in the wrong hour of the show. It's always actually really interesting. Oh, really? Sometimes I'm like, I don't know if these stories are going to fly, but hopefully they will. They're all actual stories. That's the thing. You forget that, and we try and make joke answers,

but they're actual things that happen in the news. True, true. All right, your first news headline. SpaceX crew will have to use *** on journey back from International Space Station. I'm thinking that the SpaceX crew will have to use outside toilets because they can't go inside. Because of the New Zealand COVID rules at the moment, they're like, you can't go inside the space station,

so you've got to use outside. What happens in that situation in space? Because gravity would mean it would just float up. It would probably be contained in its own little... You'd have to put it in a bottle or something, wouldn't you? I don't know. And go up. Yeah. Aim up. Yeah. Yeah.

That's a good question. Yeah, I don't actually know. Maybe get into a wormhole about that one day. I'll have a look into it, guys. SpaceX crew will have to use, I'm going to say UberX on the way back from space as their rocket's broken down. SpaceX crew will have to use nappies on journey back from International Space Station. So on, I think this is Jeff Bezos' little rocket, the toilet is broken and the next trip to space,

which I think they're probably leaving around now-ish, is going to be for 20 hours. So they're going to be away from Earth for 20 hours. And so there's no toilet for them to use, so they're going to have to use nappies. But NASA are describing them as absorbent undergarments. They're trying to sidestep the term nappies. I've looked into it already.

They can still stand and it goes into a tube. Oh, yeah. Tube system they're running there. Oh, okay. Yeah. But imagine going to space and you're like, well, I'm going to have to use a nappy for the next 20 hours. That would be quite bizarre for an adult to do.

And there's a big crowd there too when you land back as well. Yeah. They all know. We've all been talking about them. You're like, welcome back. You're like, yeah, give me a moment. I want to come out and greet the press with a, yeah, anyway. And the next guest.

Ben. Anyway. It's morning. Move on. Australian woman wins $1 million just for getting a. I'm going to say the Australian woman is the replacement for Emma in the Wiggles. And she's won a big red car for $1 million. That's what I'm going to say the Australian woman is the replacement for Emma in The Wiggles. And she's won a big red car for a million dollars. That's what I'm thinking.

I'm going to say Australian woman turned up to Super Vax-a-thon and got $1 million just for getting the first shot. Australian woman wins $1 million just for getting a COVID vaccine. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Well done. You got one. So the government in Australia offered $1 million to someone who got the jab. Nearly 3 million people applied.

I think you must have had to apply as well as get the jab. And she won it. And they also handed out 100 gift cards that were loaded with $1,000 of spending money. So that was an incentive for people in Australia to get the vaccine. And one woman was, she was only 25. She won a million bucks. That's a good haul.

Did you see that radio station gave away a million dollars over in Australia? Oh yeah. Oh mate, we've got to up our game guys. We got five grand this morning. Five thousand dollars

from the market. It's pretty cool. And the final news story, 12 year old boy to school by himself amid bus driver shortage. Without a bus window to do it on, I'm thinking a 12-year-old boy had to drop his pants and press his bare buttocks against a shop window on the way to school because he couldn't do

it on the bus. I'm going to go, 12-year-old boy fires himself out of a comedy cannon to get himself to school amid a bus driver shortage. 12-year-old boy kayaks to school by himself amid bus driver shortage. So this is in Colorado and I was kind of wondering, I was like, how could he kayak? And it ends up, he lives across a lake from his school and it's a three

kilometre journey and his dad said, when my boy approaches me and wants to do something out of his comfort zone, I've got to back that up. And then he also decided in winter, when the lake freezes over, he'll cross-country ski across the lake just to get to school. So there are some unique ways little kids are getting to school zooming zooming is not an option good point that's that's probably quite a no we'll probably cross a lake that could crack yeah there's snow and skis where'd that sweet little boy go don't worry don't worry all's fun

and that is the news and beats for you this morning. Going hard and ooley. Go hard, go ooley. Go hard and ooley. Hard and ooley. Go hard. With Jono and Ben. New Zealand's breakfast. Hey, we're sending the bosses credit card around the country to treat you guys with fish and chips and, of course,

Heinz tomato ketchup. Thursday and Friday we go to a different location somewhere in New Zealand each week. If you want to nominate your town or city to head to the hit, stock.co.nz, you get two hours free fish and chips. It's a wonderful prize, isn't it? And I noticed that someone's trying to chime in. They're doing the official fish and chip week. It's happening.

Another organisation. I shall not speak of them being boys. Are they? Okay, they won't be spoken of. But they can step away. You know, stay in the lane. We've been doing it a whole month. That's right. We're blowing their week out with a month. But yeah, so far Christchian nelson have enjoyed the fruits of free fish and chips thanks to heinz so you can head to the hits.co.nz nominate your town and we could be there this thursday and friday shouting your free fish and chips i um had a heinz incident last night at their household we love this love the ketchup don't get me wrong but a little word of warning

to users is that if you shake it a lot, it can build up a lot of pressure. Much like sometimes when you push on a sanitiser bottle, boom, comes out at a million kilometres an hour. That happened last night with the sauce, and it was like a crime scene all over the lounge with my son Oscar who had really shaken it hard. Heinz, I don't know if there's any way you can get sauce out of a couch, all over the lounge with my son, Oscar, who had really, he'd shaken it hard. And it's hard.

Hines, I don't know if there's any way you can get sauce out of a couch, but if you could email me, that'd be helpful. All right. From a socially distantly safe two metres. Stay away. This is New Zealand's Breakfast with Jono and Ben. Sort of hard to get your head around all the COVID stuff at the moment. And they're targeting different sections of society for

vaccinations, including the youth. And we've been enjoying the youth-targeted ad. Oh, geez, we've got a lot of joy out of this ad, haven't we? A lot of it. We've mined a lot of content out of this commercial. You would have heard it. Two shots for summer, fam. Ayo, it's two shots for summer, fam.

Two shots, deliver free. Two for long days and warm nights. Yeah, two shots is the key. So, you know, it's doing a good job. The reason it's there is to get the young people vaxxed in time for summer. Get those rates up. Hit that 90% target. Yeah, open up the

festivals and all sorts. I just love what the advertising people would have been like. It would have been like you and me, Ben. Sitting in a room with our hats sideways. And then we would have been directing someone It would have been like you and me, Ben, sitting in a room with our hats sideways, and then we would have been directing someone in the voice booth, how about you say yizzer? And they would have been going, dear God, end it now. The poor girl voicing the thing.

But it's there for good reasons. But it might be missing the mark with certain sections of society. Those over 50 might not understand probably 75% to 85% of what's being said in that commercial. That's right. So we thought it was our job to get involved, right? Our public duty. Yeah, to get involved and translate some of it for those, you know, maybe getting on a little bit that maybe don't understand the lingo.

Have a listen. This is the Hey Yo, It's Two Shots for Summer Fam ad translated for the over 50s. Hey yo, it's two shots for summer fam ad translated for the over 50s. Ayo, it's two shots for summer fam. Greetings to a person's fam, though short for family, referring to the people in your life with whom you're particularly close. It is two vaccinations required to appreciate the hottest of all the four temperate seasons. Two shots to share a feed. It is again two vaccinations necessary to divide an adequate supply of food amongst

a number of people. Even two to do the deed. The same conditions are considered essential for fornication, including specifically sexual intercourse. Two shots for the mish. Mish is the short form of a mission. These missions are often done while taking brain-altering chemical substances. Two shots for skinny dips.

Swimming the water with one's testicles or breasts on display. Two to bus shapes with the crew. A term to describe dancing, sometimes but not necessarily done while chewing on one's jaw vigorously. Yeah, two shots for summer. Get your first one now and get your second ASAP. Get your two vaccinations as soon as possible. Chia. Scrolling through your feed. All right, time for scrolling.

A journalist who has previously won a Pulitzer Prize for journalism. Piers Morgan was not available to host this part of the show for us, so we'll settle for 922nd best, Ben Boyce. Now, the PM Jacinda Ardern, yesterday, she announced Auckland will move to step two of the alert level three at 11.59 tonight. So that means tomorrow, basically some shops will open, the malls will open, gatherings outside

will increase to 25 people, and no longer will it have to be just between two bubbles. So you can have 25 people outside. But again the journalist Barry Soper from Newstalk ZB was asking about what happens in the toilet situation. Because no one's allowed to use the lavatory at the moment. Not allowed to go inside and use it.

You have to stay outside and Jacinda was getting a little bit frustrated with Barry Soper's line of questioning. Still asking about this. Have a listen. To clarify for once and for all 25 people are able to gather outside. Correct. If I want to go to the loo inside. I've been totally consistent

on this. No one should go inside. They want to go to the loo. Well, I think make provision for it, Barry. Make provision for it, Barry? Maybe Barry was politely asking can I borrow your toilet now? Because I've been in this room for about an hour and a half,

and the old bladder's not what it used to be. That's right. And I do get it. As soon as they say someone can go inside and use the bathroom, then it's going to be like, oh, can we watch TV? Can we go to the kitchen? It's going to open up a whole line of questioning as well. So it's just easier and

simpler to say no one can go inside. Do you know who has been hanging around Parliament since the 70s? Oh yeah. Barry Soper is a legend. Really? Wow. It's distinguished career Barry Soper as well. Well make provisions Barry, make provisions. Vaccine certificates are going to be trialled later this week

and hopefully we'll be ready by November 29 where it seems to be all going well. They pointed towards some of the COVID restrictions being lifted in Auckland and the new confusing traffic light system coming in in November 29. So we'll bring you more up to date on that as we slowly get our heads around that.

Yeah, so slowly getting back to normality in New Zealand. Yeah. Hey, 90% we'll all be there. Summer, get two shots of Summer, fam. Yeah. Yes, sir. It's happening. I read something this morning, and it was probably quite true,

that it would have been inconceivable to think a month or two ago that we'd be opening up and giving more freedoms when the cases were so high. You know, like the cases are going one way, but we're getting more and more. But anyway, that just seems to be the way it is right now. Now, I'm going to say something that I know nothing about, but I'll spout it off anyway. So they're not contact tracing at the moment, are they? I think what they're doing is they're struggling to find the links.

They're not between some cases because there's so much going on. So I think sometimes they'll be like, we need to find the link between this person and this thing. They're not going as hard as they want to because it's getting so big. I think they're still going, hey, if you're in a location of interest, you'll still get an update. So scanning's still required? Yes, it's still required under all the traffic light

things as well. They're probably struggling to contact trace because with all the people being vaccinated, you can not show symptoms so that they might have not even got tested and passed it on, which kind of separates that link, you know? Well, it just feels like Auckland's just one big giant location of interest.

Yeah, well, that's pretty much it. And some of the fringe areas outside of the city as well. And just quickly, US President Joe Biden, he's overseas at the Climate Change Conference in Scotland, and he fell asleep. It looked like he had a wee nap at one stage and on the same day. It was a 22-second nap. I've looked at the stats on it.

But he met with some of the Royals, Camilla Parker Bowles as well and apparently he passed some wind while meeting her and she's been telling everyone. She's been going around going you won't believe what happened to me. With Joe Biden. Well apparently it was according to Camilla long and loud.

Long and loud and he made opposite to what the lockdown was. It was short and sharp our lockdown. Joe Biden goes long and loud. Opposite to what the lockdown was. It was short and sharp, our lockdown. Joe Biden goes long and loud. There we go. And Camilla just roasting him behind us. Obviously didn't hit him up in the moment. But then just talking behind his back as well.

Blown away by Biden. So it's not the first time apparently that Biden's had that situation. Well, you said this and then you were like, who shared this on social media? Donald Trump Jr. Eric Trump. Eric Trump shared a video Joe Biden is being interviewed live on air, and you can hear it, loud as day. But you can put a shout-out if we can stitch you up and get someone to tweet that.

No, you wouldn't do that to me. Respected broadcaster Ben Boyce. It's actually Ben's lowest form of he hates talking about this stuff. Don't you? You don't enjoy it. I don't have a very high brow of comedy but sometimes I'm like... For some reason he feels he's above this.

Yeah. I don't know why. What's got six letters and a penchant for presenting personal stories of celebrities? It's J.U.L-I-E-T. Welcome. I always get confused how to spell Juliet's name. I always notice it in the run sheets.

Yeah, I don't know if you're a J-U-L-I-E-T-T-E or a J-U-L-I-E-T or a what's going on? J-U-L-I-E-T. Yeah, sometimes I see it in the run sheet and you'll write Juliet with an extra T and an A and I just quietly backspace a couple of letters. Yeah, I like to think of you as a sophisticated European. Thank you. So there's

been another hospitalisation for a crew member on the set of Alec Baldwin's movie Rust. This time for a spider bite. So one of the crew members, he was packing down parts of the set at the end of the day and got bitten by a brown recluse spider.

It even sounds nasty, a brown recluse spider. I googled an image of it and it's just, never google image spiders that you don't really know what they look like because you'll just get grossed out. But he's been hospitalised and has endured multiple surgeries each day as doctors

are doing their best to stop the infection and to try and save his arm from amputation. Wow, it's that bad? It's that bad. It's crazy. So he's got necrosis, which I think I've pronounced that correctly, which is basically the death of body tissue in his arm. So they're trying to save him from having his arm amputated, which is, oh my goodness,

what more can go wrong on the set of that movie, honestly? Really sad. Well, Pete, I worked with a guy, Robert. He kept getting, there was a period, over a six-month period, where he got bitten by white-tailed spiders about three or four times. And he was hospitalized all four times. And his skin blew up. His whole body blew.

He looked like the Michelin Man. Really? And he said the pain, because his skin was so tight, you know, and so swollen. Right. Just had to lay in hospital. Oh, I didn't know that white tails could be that. Well, for some people, I think they are. Right.

Yeah. You're allergic. Although I've never been bitten by one, so I don't know. Yeah. Do you find that every spider you see in your house you think is a white tail? Yeah. It's a white tail. I know.

It's a white skin. It's white. You know, everything looks like a white tail. I don't even actually know what a white tail looks like, but I'm spouting it off. I know. It's white because it's white. You know, everything looks like a white tail. I don't even actually know what a white tail looks like, but I'm spouting it off. I know. A lot of the little small sort of dark brown or black ones do look like white tails, apart from daddy long legs. You always know what a daddy long legs is.

But there's a theory that if you have daddy long legs, they eat the white tail, so it's quite good to have a daddy long legs just chilling in the top corner of your room. Sort of protecting you. Yeah, yeah. Like a border around Auckland. Exactly. It's amazing how many spiders have white arses though,

don't they? It's a lot of them. Hey, mate, it's not summer yet, you know. And I certainly shouldn't talk. Yeah. And Vin Diesel has pleaded Dwayne The Rock Johnson, Ben, you'll like this story, to join him in Fast and Furious 10.

So Vin Diesel posted on Instagram a photo of them two saying, My little brother Dwayne, the time has come. The world awaits the finale of Fast and Furious 10. So Vin Diesel posted on Instagram a photo of them two saying, My little brother Dwayne, the time has come. The world awaits the finale of Fast and Furious 10. As you know, my children refer to you as Uncle Dwayne in my house. And I say this out of love, but you must show up. Do not leave the franchise idle. You have a very important role to play.

Hobbs can't be played by no other. I hope that you rise to the occasion and fulfill your destiny. Feels like that could have been over text, but anyway, when did he post that on Instagram, dude? Yeah, 24 hours ago. Not many people would call Dwayne Johnson little. You know, like little brother. I guess maybe he's referring to maybe slightly older than him or something. Well, they had a huge public spat, didn't they?

And I think Dwayne Johnson and Jason Statham went off and did a sub. Hobbs and Shaw, yeah. Hobbs and Shaw did a movie which I don't think anyone was happy with the core the family they weren't happy

it's about family the movie it is about family Ben you're right the last time we went to Fast and Furious they went to space

and I was like well surely this is the year but where do you go after you've taken a car to space that's so true Bezos would have

been impressed with that that's right get Bezos involved That's so true. Bezos would have been impressed with that. That's right. Get Bezos involved. That's so true. And that is Spy for this hour. For more, you can head to thehits.co.nz. All that driving thumping bastard. It is Liar Liar where we get two people on.

One is telling the truth. One is telling a lie. And we have to work out who's the truth teller and who's the liar. Does that take you back to the clubs, bro? I can't remember what clubs are like. It's been locked down for three months. I can't remember what clubs are like. I haven't been to one in about 12 years.

Lockdown's your excuse. All right. We're going to get Isaac on from Wellington. Morning, Isaac. Welcome to Liar Liar. Please come at us with your story. Well, it's a pretty controversial one. I was New Zealand's first confirmed COVID case

way back last year in February 2020 or March. I can't even remember at this point. Case what? No, hold on. I think New Zealand's first COVID case was Elton John. Oh, don't say this. Elton can't besmirch the good name of Elton John. Elton John came here with standing pneumonia or whatever it was,ton John. Oh, don't say this. Elton can't besmirch the good name of Elton John. Elton

John came here with standing pneumonia or whatever it was, walking pneumonia. We didn't even know what it was called back then. He was coughing and spluttering his way through. Okay. Anyway. Okay. So, okay. So you, you were case number one, you reckon? Indeed. I was overseas, you know, because New Zealand, summertime is the American wintertime. I was on a family ski trip over in Colorado back when, you know, you could do that. And I guess I ruined it for everyone else. So you're to blame.

Well, no one's to blame. The virus is to blame. We talk about this all the time. The virus is to blame. The Ministry of Health. We're on a first-name basis. Let's put it that way. All right. That's Isaac's statement right now. The virus is the blame. The Ministry of Health. We're on a first-name basis. Let's put it that way. All right.

That's Isaac's statement right now. He was case number one in New Zealand. I'm kind of believing that. Okay. Well, let's find out who was B number two. Paul, you're on from Takaka. What's your story? Oh, good day.

Yeah. I walked home to Golden Bay from a job I had down at Pusica Point, keeping off tracks most of the way, taking me the length of the South Island. I don't know what you've just said. So what, you walked? What did you just say? So you're walking and then you walked the whole South Island? Yeah. You've walked the entire island?

Absolutely. Not a very big island. But it's a huge island, the South Island, do you? Oh, yeah. Okay, so how long is that walk? As the care flies, it's 770 kilometres, but as the distance I walked, I measured it, it was over 1,400 kilometres.

14. Ooh, he sounds convincing. Now, we'll get Isaac. We don't usually do this. Isaac, Paul's claiming he walks the entire South Island. What a dream. That's incredible. Now, Paul, Isaac's claiming he was the first COVID case in New Zealand.

Oh, what a shame. Who do you guys believe? Well, they're going to say themselves. You both claim you're telling the truth, right? I mean, his is a lot more admirable, I've got to say. All right. Okay. I'm really torn on this one.

Put them back on hold there, Jono. 4487 on the text or 0800 the hits. Who do you think is telling the truth? Who's telling a lie? We'll find out very shortly. It is part two of our Liar Liar this morning. We have two people on. One is telling the truth.

One is telling a lie. Both this morning. I could go either way on this morning. We have two people on. One is telling the truth. One is telling a lie. Both this morning. I could go either way on this one. Yeah, I am 50-50. So is the text machine on 4487. Split down the middle. Isaac, just recap what you were claiming. I was New Zealand's first COVID case way back in 2020

after a holiday overseas in the States. And Paul, you're claiming that you walked what? The length of? The length of the South Island. Right, he's getting all offended that I don't even question him. The length of the South Island. Okay, so the votes have come in. The people are saying Isaac was the first confirmed

case of COVID in New Zealand. Isaac, please tell us. No, absolutely not, mate. Healthy as ever. Okay, well, Isaac, well, thank you. Have you ever had it? Nah, mate. Healthiest ever. Oh, okay. Well, Isaac, well, thank you. Oh, did you even have, have you ever had it? Nah, mate. Double vaxxed and feeling good.

Just, he was so convincing. Mate, I can't even afford Mount Hutt, let alone Aspen, Colorado. Oh, well, wonderful lying, Isaac. Fantastic. Good on you. I'd have you as an alibi any day. Yeah, rock solid. Okay, so that means, Paul, you're telling the truth.

Yeah, absolutely. Paul, we've just been handed from our producer. You've got a book. There we go. Gone Bush. It's called Gone Bush, yep. So was this exactly how you said? You just decided to go for a walk and then you just ended up walking the South Island?

Well, you know, I just felt good about walking the length of the island instead of driving back and forth or flying like I've done many a time. Oh, yeah. It just felt real good. Also gave me an opportunity to see and visit and explore places I haven't been to before. How long did it take you to walk the South Island? Well, actually, I wasn't even aiming for this, but it took me exactly 99 days. Did you just say, hey, I'm just popping out to get, you know, pick up some bread from

the dairy and never returned, kind of like a Forrest Gump situation? No, it wasn't quite like that. I was on a work trip at a place called Pusica Point, the far southwest corner of Fieldland, with other people. And when the helicopter came to pick them up, to take them out at the end of the job, I said, OK, well, I'd prearranged.

I said, well, see you. I'm walking home. You guys can fly home. I'm walking home. And I did. And did you know which way to go? Oh, yes, yeah. No, I'd studied thoroughly beforehand maps and talked to locals about information and... Where would you sleep? Oh, well, I had a small tent with me, a small one-person tent, but also there's a lot of

backcountry huts along the way, too. You've visited, at the back of your book it says you've seen 1,200 huts. You've visited 1,200 huts. Is that correct? Plus huts, plus, yeah. Plus, I'm sorry. What's the best? Who's got the best hut? Now, that is always a tricky question because you get to a hut, say, on a real, real rough stormy night,

and it's a ramshackle hut, but, hey, it's a shelter from a storm. You enjoy it. Then you get back to that hut on another day. It's perfect weather, good camping weather. You think, how the heck did I stay at this place? It just depends on how you're feeling at the time. It's real hard to say what's the best because they're all different.

So walking the length of the South Island, I mean, injuries, blisters, I mean, you must have had all sorts. Oh, I got scratched to pieces by the thick bush in Southfieldland and I had a few slips here and there, and I think I put my back out somewhere, but, you know. Paul, up at North Island.

When are you going to walk the North Island then? Yeah, good question, eh? Good question. I've been planning that one for a while. Oh, yeah? Yeah, well, my brother has a farm in the centre of North Island, and I do go and look after that, and it would be quite feasible to walk home from at least from there

by connecting some of the parks and forest parks. So you'd do it? You would walk the North Island? It would be possible. I wouldn't want to walk on the Tauru Trail because, you know, it's got so many people walking it. And a lot of the Tauru Trail on the North Island is along long roads, backcountry roads. And I find that a bit boring. So I'm looking at a photo here from 1959 and and you left in the photo here in the box, so you're age eight.

So 1951 you were born? Yes. So you're still out there. Jeez, you must be fit. Oh, you just do it a bit slower when you get older, eh? What does that make you? My maths is no good. I've just gone 70.

I was 70 at the end of August. Jeez, what's your bloody daily step take on the old Fitbit there, Paul? Oh, it gets a bit slower, mate. It gets a bit slower. But you still do things. You know, it's all in the mind. I didn't realise I was getting old until I hit 65 and then I got reminded that I'm eligible for an old age pension.

That's the first time the word old age has entered my vocabulary. But you get bloody Winston Peters has got you a free bus pass, doesn't he? He could save you a lot of time. Yeah, but there's not much you can do with a free bus pass in Takako. Oh, Paul, it's so lovely talking to you. It looks like a remarkable story. Gone bush, a life in the backcountry and beyond. I hope you enjoy it.

Having walked the South Island, name one part of the South Island every New Zealander must see. Oh, you got me there. I'll be real biased here. The Kahurangi National Park. On my doorstep here. Sounds beautiful. Hey Paul, thank you so much for your time. Okay, pleasure.

Ben and Jono call this show Jono and Ben. Breakfast on the Hefts. Hey, Cup Day today in Christchurch too, isn't it? A big day at Addington. We've been down there a few times before and it's taken us this long to recover. Juliet, I know you had an incident at Cup Day as well. Oh, yeah, I did.

We don't speak about that. Oh, yeah, because we don't know. We weren't there for it, but we have heard about that. Yeah, I forgot that it actually happened. I don't even know what happened. I just heard little pockets of things. It sounds like Juliet at Cup Day was a wild ride. It was a wild ride.

Let me just tell you something. If you're going to Cup Day, do not get a flight back to where you live on the same day. Yeah. Because that's what happened to me, and it was an absolute shambles. No, I think it's a little different this year in Christchurch, Cup Day, obviously, with the current environment. Unprecedented times, Ben. Yeah. No, you're right.

So, anyway, enjoy Cup Day. I know it's a big event in Christchurch, and, yeah, geez, we've enjoyed it. The city will probably have to go back into lockdown after Cup Day. Hey, next on the show, my dog, Bo. We talk about my dog, Bo, quite a lot. He's a bit of a lovable shambles, as we like to say. But he attends a place a couple of days a week called Barkley Manor. Now, you might have seen Barkley Manor on TV.

There's a TV doco about the place. It's like a doggy daycare. And we spoke to Christopher Barkley Manor last week. And not only about Bo, because I was worried about him appearing on the show. Yeah, that was your major concern. Please tell me that he's not featuring in any upcoming episodes. But she also mentioned a couple of things about the dog and also

about his report card. Have a listen. One of the massive things that I do know to be true is that you do end up getting a dog that's very similar to yourself. Lovable shambles. We're writing report cards at the moment. There we go. Big, white and goofy, eh?

Well, they've sent the report card. I have it in my email, in my inbox, and I'm going to read it out next. Have you looked at it yet? No, which is not a good idea, but I thought for comedy purposes, let's read it out together on the radio and see how Bo's done. It is the hits. Rise and shine.

Time to start the, um, who are we kidding? We're not the boss of you. Jodo and Ben, the hits. Now, my dog Bo, I love him, but he's a bit of a shambles, and we talk a lot about Bo on this radio show. He's a big, white, fluffy dog. He's a Samoyed. That's the breed.

It's kind of like a, I guess a white looking husky. And yeah, he goes to doggy daycare a couple of days a week called Barkley Manor. Yeah. Now you get a report card every year. Now you've read them out annually. I've heard, I've followed Bo's career as he's grown up over a seven year period. And the report cards are always, they're always favourable, aren't they? Well, yeah, because I think he loves it there at Barkley Manor, and we love taking him there.

But they also probably love the fact that they don't want to go, oh, hey, don't bring him back. It's a positive report because they like you positively putting money into their bank account. I can see the circle of life here. I see what happens. But it's a risky game. You haven't read this yet.

What if there's something in there you don't like, something you get defensive about? I can see the circle of life here. I see what happens. But it's a risky game. You haven't read this yet. No. What if there's something in there you don't like? Something you get defensive about? I'm getting honest about Bo. Something, you know, an attack on your parenting. Yeah, well, can I just say, front footer, that Bo, you know, when Bo was, unfortunately, when he was a couple of months old,

he got hit by a car. Did he? Oh, did he? And yeah, he had a broken foot. Yeah, so training kind of went a little bit out the window when he was a puppy. Oh, don't you know? Don't know. People recover recover from broken feet he recovered yeah he did well so this is your excuse i'll just say over a seven year period that you haven't trained your dog i'll just say that that was you know the period the crucial period when he was

you know we love him but it was anyway let's open the email have a look and see how bo went my dog it is a report card was that just front footing the fact that if we hear anything now that's okay here we go good things effort a plus plus that's good brain games a plus plus manners b okay social studies b attitude b okay so his attitude's okay it's not d's or e's it's good it's good we all have off days he got some awards this year there you go he's a top class cuddler. Much like Ben Boyce around the office. Handsome charmer. Damn again.

You win the same awards at our annual ceremony. Things to work on. Maybe a little less vocally enthusiastic. That sounds like me and Bo. Sharing is caring. Yes, they're your toys,

but you can share them a bit more. And we know you want our attention, but avoid shouting. Okay. Just like you. Does it sound like me? Yeah.

Is there anything in there about cuddling? Yes. Activities enjoyed the most. Cuddle time. Oh, there we go. Is this your dog report, God? This is my one from Boss Todd, I i think he's got a list of his friends overall comments all right here we go let's see if it's similar to me or not now you've

got me you've now yeah i've been dragged into this okay so our handsome beau certainly makes his presence known he likes his aunties and uncles to focus on him persistently at all times. He is amazing at brain games. He'll occupy himself with an engaging toy, and you won't hear a peep until he's figured it out. He's a happy chap who's good both in a social environment as well as on his own. He loves cuddles and wrestling in the middle of a floor with a friend. Yep, yep, yep.

Seen that. That's not me. He's like, Juliet, Jono, time for our post-show Wrestle winner, mate This is radio, what's it got to do with wrestling? Yeah, a bit weird Shirts off, shirts on today, what do you want to do? We'll play your weird game

Bo's done extremely well this year An absolute joy to be around, it's a pretty good report From Bo, actually Nothing in there about excessive dribbling Licking things, sniffing things. Maybe those should be some goals for 2022.

Try and sniff less weird stuff for Bo. Don't just eat stuff you see on the ground. At least ask, should I eat this first? Things like that. I have some morals.

Five words for 5K on the hit. You're only five words away from a massive payday. It is our Game of Words Association. We give you five words. You say the first things that pop into your head. If those five words match up with our five words, you win $5,000. Tani, how was Tauranga this morning, mate? Hi.

How are you going? Good, thank you. Oh, you work at a kiwifruit farm. A lot of kiwifruits farmed in that part of Aotearoa, isn't there? Yes. Do love it. There's a lot of variety of kiwifruit now, too. It's falling into the same trap as the apples.

You can get 920 different varieties of apples now at the supermarket. But, you know, kiwifruit, golden kiwifruit. Golden's a good one. I like the golden. Yeah. What's your preferred kiwifruit there, Tani? Yeah, I like the golden one. Do you know John Pryor?

I don't know if this is uh frowned upon in the kiwi fruit industry my dad john pryor he just bang all kiwi fruit doesn't even take the skin off really oh yes my dad does that too oh yeah he eats it like an apple a golden arrive at some of the furry ones yeah just all in baby even the hard bits at the end the knobs the nipples he's doing the kiwi fruit nips yeah he's munching down on them. Okay. Yeah, see, if he doesn't let anything go to waste, John Pryor. He's from that generation. Yeah, effort. He even eats his plate after he's had dinner on it.

Anyway, Tani, what we need you to do is insert five words from your COVID hole into one of our COVID holes and we'll win you $5,000. Who are you going to send into the soundproof booth? Oh, sorry, you're cut out there, sorry. Uh-oh. Oh, no. Technical difficulties. Not after all the kiwi fruit banter.

I could have just got straight into the game, but I slowed the process down. She would still be there. Tani. Oh, we've lost her. Bagging on about your dad. What happens now? She's like, thanks for telling me about your dad

eating the kiwi fruit nipples, but now I miss out on $5,000. Chance to win $5,000. All right, I guess we go to the next call, do we? Do we just move on? All right, we're going to go to Lindy. Welcome, Lindy. Kia ora.

Kia ora to you. I'm not going to make the same mistake and start rambling about my dad's eating habits. We're just going to get straight into it. Lindy, you need to decide who you're going to send into the soundproof booth. Ooh, undecided. Oh, well, if you need to decide who you're going to send into the soundproof booth. Oh, undecided. Oh, well, if you could make a decision. Just don't go research like an anti-vaxxer. It would move things along.

Who would you like to send in? To who? Jono, Ben, or Producer Juliet. Who would you like to send away so we don't hear what's happening? Okay, the producer. Producer. Oh, God. Lindy, I'm going to ask you another question. Do you know the names of anyone on this show? like to send away so we don't hear what's happening? Okay, the producer. Producer. Lindy, I'm going to ask you another question. Do you know the names of anyone on this show?

Sort of. Yeah, that's all we need. Same as me. I forget my name too. Alright, so what I'm going to do is I'm going to say a word. You tell us the first thing that pops into your head when I say that word, okay? Okay. Let's start with Skeleton. Halloween. Halloween.

Halloween for Lindy. Now she's pulling it back. Yeah, I like that. Price. P-R-I-C-E. Price. Price. Food. Food. Price of food. Yeah, good. Nice option. This is a roller coaster. Rattle is the third

word. R-A-T-T-L-E. Rattle. Snake. That's exactly what I-T-T-L-E. Rattle. Snake. That's exactly what I was thinking. Well done. Cabbage. Word number four. Cabbage. Veggie.

Veggie. Yep, good call, Lindy. And fashion is the final word this morning for five words. Fashion. It would have to be clothes, wouldn't it? It would have to be clothes, Lindy. All right, well, that's very good words. You've done well.

We're going to bring producer Julia out of the soundproof booth, and if all five of those words match up with yours, you win $5,000. Oh, okay. It's tough. Lindy, I don't even know if Lindy phoned up for this, but she's here now. I think I've been on the wrong radio station, but never mind. Who are you after, Lindy? Logan, you've rolled with us beautifully.

This is great. Tell me, who are you after, Lindy? Look at her. You've rolled with us beautifully. This is great. Tell me, who were you hoping to call? Well, the radio station played a song about tickets to 660. Oh, okay. No, that's definitely not us. That's definitely us. Damn it. But, you know, what you've done here is you've found yourself balls deep into a $5,000 competition.

Hey, you might win $5,000. It's almost as good as 660 tickets. For a lady who didn't know what she was taking part in, she came through. It was some great work. No, it's not. You're doing a great job. You've done a really good job. What radio station is that?

Oh, no. It's probably better not to know. It's probably better not to know. All right. All Alright Alright here we go Let's see if we can win If you win five grand It's going to be incredible This will be a big moment

If you pull off five thousand dollars Alright producer Juliet What do I When I say skeleton What do you say? Bones Oh Oh what

What did you say Lindy? Adam She said Halloween Don't ask Lindy any more questions, okay? That's the rule from now on. Poor Lindy's so confused by this. I'm so sorry. Oh, Lindy, that was fun.

Let's go through and see how you would have gone. Price? Tag. Rattle? Snake. Snake was good. Oh, yeah. Cabbage?

Patch. Oh, and fashion? Oh, yeah, yeah, I've got it. I've got it now. Lindy, you can stop talking. Hey, Lindy, we're going to hook you up with some Wild Bean vouchers, all right, so you can go shout some coffee. Okay, thank you.

You are an absolute hero. I think my favourite course has worked on this station. I feel ashamed. No, no, we love you. No, Lindy, you've been a hero, okay? No, it wasn't your fault you got put through here. It's a very confusing phone system. So, yeah, thank you so much for taking part in that. We'll hook you up with some Wild Bean, and hopefully we get to play it again. you've been a hero it wasn't your fault you got put through here it's a very confusing phone system so yeah

thank you so much for taking part in that we'll hook you up with some more and hopefully we get to play it again alright no matter how many shots

you've had fam nothing will make you immune to this pointless celebrity fodder what's going on Juliet and Spy so the musical Wicked

is being turned into a movie and a petition has been created titled keep James Corden out of Wicked is being turned into a movie, and a petition has been created titled Keep James Corden Out of Wicked the Movie, and it's got about 38,000 signatures so far. So this is another musical, and they're thinking automatically Corden will be attired to it?

Yeah. He loves a song and a dance, doesn't he, Corden? He loves a song and a dance. He's very good. He is very talented. He can sing, he can dance. Even in the carpool karaoke, he can sing just as well. He remembers all the words to the songs.

It's like anyone on TV or radio. For some reason, people go, I don't like them or I don't like them. Obviously, in this case, some people are sick of him doing this. He's a very talented man. The problem is people might be like, Oh, he's everywhere. He's singing in this,

he's driving and singing in that, you know, he's singing over there. So maybe that's the response that he's getting. And I think that with, because he was in the musical movie Cats, which had a star-studded line-up. Like, I had Taylor Swift, Dame Judi Dench, Jennifer Hudson, Rebel Wilson, Jason Derulo. Like, it was going to be like, that cast is unreal. On paper, it was the greatest

thing ever created. But it didn't really turn out to be that way. Poor casting agent would have come in and gone, I've booked you all those famous stars. How did you F this up? People want to put the cats down. But Ariana Grande has been cast

In Wicked the movie As Glinda I think her name is So that'll be quite good Ariana Grande is very talented It's a very good stage show Wicked I haven't seen it

Yeah I really want to see it What's it about? It's about the other Wicked I think it's the origin story Of the Wicked Witch I think It's like kind of

Wizard of Oz-y But not the Wizard of Oz story You know Oh it's how she became so witchy Quite like Cruella was like that too How she became Cruella Yeah the origin type story From memory I think

It's a while ago I've seen it but I really enjoyed it Can't wait until they do the Ben Boyce origin tale How do you end up so addicted to hand sanitiser That'd be a boring tale That's for sure You can play that one if you want Turn it into a musical you end up so addicted to hand sanitizer. That'd be a boring tale, that's for sure. James Corden, I don't know. You can play that one if you want. Turn it into a musical.

Please wash my hands. And Sarah Jessica Parker is being an absolute queen, and she's kind of slamming people who's saying she's aging kind of badly in the Sex and the City reboot. So there kind of seems like comments about her hair and that she's going grey and maybe not dyeing it. But she said, I'm sitting with Andy Cohen and he has a full head of grey hair and he's exquisite.

Why is it okay for him? I don't know what to tell you people, especially on social media, everyone has something to say. So she's, you know, she's just naturally ageing and she's probably one of those stars, a bit like Pink where she doesn't want to get plastic surgery or, you know, make herself look like everyone else. I get half of them because the public people are out there all the time and people do judge,

don't they? They say horrible things online and then if people don't get any work done, they're like, oh, I'm getting work done as well. Exactly. It's so hard to get the balance. It's no win-win. I know. That's why I'm just letting my face slowly rot off.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm just on this journey. I was going to say, is that why you chose radios? People couldn't see your face, but then they know you're also a TV as well. Yeah, well there's a reason why I'm not on there now. I've got a possession signed to get them off.

30,000 signatures. Yeah, it's going quite well actually. That is Spy for this morning. For more you can head to the hits.co.nz. The show where the masks make them look a whole lot better. Can't say this battered up old face yet. New Zealand has just announced they will require all domestic passengers to be fully vaccinated or produce a negative test. That's domestic passengers as of December 14. What about us anti-vaxxers? How do we get around the country? Well, you're going to have to produce a negative test, I guess, for next month.

And they're doing it for international travels from Fiji, I think. From Fiji, from February, sorry. Fair enough as well. And I think slowly, week by week, the government and big business are making it increasingly difficult for those that aren't vaccinated to live their life, aren't they? Yeah. It was actually a really good thing on social media.

I saw the other day, I'm sorry, I can't remember the person who posted that, but she said that, you know, that everyone's saying the country is divided, but she's like, well, hey, when I did maths, 90% versus 10%. Yeah. Is that divided?

You know, like when you talk about the country's divided. Now I understand there are people, you know, for various reasons, you know, some are not anti-vaxxers and some are doing it. But yeah, when you think about the country's divided. Now, I understand there are people, you know, for various reasons. You know, some are not anti-vaxxers and some are doing it. But, yeah, when you think about the country's divided, well, if you said 90% of people are doing this one thing, that's not divided. Yeah.

So it's really interesting. So you're kind of beholden to the remaining 10. It doesn't work. It's not divided at all. So I thought it was very clever. It was a very clever observation. Yeah. Jeez whiz.

Jeez whiz. Jeez whiz. We said something smart. We said something smart. And then we did it. Jeez whiz. Jeez whiz. We said something smart, we said something smart and then we did it and that's pretty much the show. It is a hit. Jeez whiz. Hard-hitting interviews and informed opinion. Mike Hosking on Newstalk's Ed Bean.

In the meantime, here's Jono and Ben. The hits. My cat, who doesn't get a lot of air time on this radio show according to you, Jono? No, he doesn't. You had Beau's report card at 7.30, so now you feel guilted into giving your cat some airtime. I want to talk about my cat. He's not feline well at the moment. Well, it's something I think quite unusual.

He's a very quirky cat, Bubble. We got him last year before the first lockdown. We hoped it would be the only lockdown, but sadly it wasn't. Why did you always forget your cat's name? Bubble. he was in our bubble so yeah so we got bubble and now what bubble does because you know we are in it's pretty much three months of uh lockdown in auckland as of tomorrow i think um so we you know we go for you know family walks we try and do one of those a day we take the dog out we go for a bit of a walk as the family. It's normally my wife and I and my two daughters and the dog. But now the cat, for the last sort of two weeks,

has decided that he wants to get in on the family walk action, which I understand. I mean, he's part of the family. He's like, where are you all going? He's like, you leave me every day here. The cat walk. He wants to, he should be out there doing the deep. So he just comes and walks.

So we do this little thing and it's become a little tradition. That is so cute. He follows us out the gate, and he walks sort of down there, like sort of Harry McLarey off for a walk. And he sort of follows, and I'm like, hey, Bub, you can't do this. And they sort of whip into another person's house up the driveway. Then we'll walk ahead, sort of 10, 15 meters,

and he'll sort of pop his head around by the letterbox and follow it down. And the other day, I was like, well, see how far he goes. It was probably about like 500, 600 meters from the house. we were right at the corner about to turn on the street i've got to pick you up and take you back home wow now the kids are like we need to get a lead when you're a cat on a leash i'd love a cat on a leash they're like we're gonna use their tail as a leash is that what they're designed for no that's not what they're designed for but so now the kids are like they're two things basically kids at the moment. One is they want to get a leash.

They want us to be that family. And two, they want to get another cat. Another cat out of the leash. Wow. Another cat. And I was like, we can't have two. How many animals can one man handle? I'm barely handling the animals that I've got.

Every day I talk about, oh, the dog did this. Now I can't. The cat wants to go for a walk. I can't do it. So, yeah. Your plate's too full already. Yeah, I love the animals. Don't get me wrong. But I'm like, it's it you know that's it yeah two kids two animals that's four

animals total that's okay oh 800 that's can you have you got who's got the most amount of cats listening yeah like have you gone at least two or more yeah have you you got a number of cats where if you told someone they would take two steps back from you you know we wanted to talk to those sorts of people maybe you take them on a walk. A friend of ours comes, she takes her cat in a pram. Yeah. Oh, that's quite cute. And society judges. We've been judging for many. I've been from John Owen

Ben, I'm already low credibility, but if I'm walking around the neighbourhood with a cat in a pram, what are people going to think then? I mean, I don't know why we all of a sudden start judging people when they take cats for walks too. I mean, cats walk by themselves just fine. But don't tell them that they've got other options not to use their legs

because they're going to take that every time. If this pram news gets out to the cat community, they're not going to be wanting to move anywhere. So, oh, 800 of the hits. How many cats have you got? Can we find New Zealand's record cat holder? Double digits would be exciting. Can we get someone with double digits?

We'll find out next. Jono and Ben, the hits. Now, I was talking before about my cats and how the cats, for some reason, now want another cat to keep the cat company as well because he wants to go on walks with us. So we wanted to find out who had the most amount of cats listening right now. Now, on 0800, the hits. Welcome, Gemma.

Hi. Most amount of cats. That's what we're talking this morning. Biggest number of cats in your household. Now on 0800 The Hits. Welcome Gemma. Hi. Most amount of cats. That's what we're talking this morning. Biggest number of cats in your household. What are you running? We currently stand at 13. 13 cats. Yeah. Okay. Can you name them all for us? I can. Shall I start at the beginning?

Okay. We'll do a speed one. See if you can do it in 13 seconds. 13 cats. 13 seconds starting now. Daisy, Willow, Luna, Nala, Layla, Nani. Oh, my God. And we've got four kittens, which we haven't yet named. And I'm missing someone there. Really put you on the spot there.

But I do believe it. 13 cats. Now, where did this all come from? To be honest, they're all rescues, bar our recent four kittens. Yeah, I just collected them, and my husband just never said no, really. Although he has said at 13, I think this is enough

for now. Yeah. The madness must stop, and I'm with your husband on that one. Have you gotten to the stage where it's like, oh, that's Gemma the cat lady? That's how everyone calls me. I'm the Mad Catwoman, and I wear that badge with honour. I love it.

What number do you justify being called a Mad Catwoman? When's the tipping point, do you think? I think probably double figures you start getting there. So how does it work? I mean, you must be spending a lot on cat food. We do. Yep, we do. But they are my passion.

They are my baby. They are my hobby. So, yeah, my husband and I work to just pay the animal bills because, yeah. As you can imagine, 13 cats is a bit of a hard one to feed as well. Their all feeding time is quite fun. They all come running from wherever they are situated. And they bring me such joy. Do they all sleep on

the bed or where do they all end up? They all have their places. Lots of them seem to rotate on our bed. We have anything up to four or five cats on our bed at night. Do they give you much back? Because I kind of feel the cats... Oh, absolutely. They do?

Beyond belief. Whenever I'm feeling down, they always, absolutely. They do? Beyond belief, beyond belief. Whenever I'm feeling down, they always know it. They'll come and rub around me or give me a meow. And honestly, they've got me through some really tough things in my life, my cats. People laugh at me, but they really do. They bring me such, yeah, comfort, really. So, yeah, and they're so funny. Ben's cat gives him nothing.

Well, he does when he's, you know, like, but if I had 13, maybe, then the times that he wants to go out, I'd have another one that would want to, you know, so you almost have a rostered system, right? Exactly. See, Ben must be doing something wrong if his cat's not giving something back. Oh, he loves me. He loves me when he's hungry. He's like, yeah, he's my best friend.

It's because, listen, I've said it to him before. He gives his dog so much of your time. Exactly. See, you've got to look at that, Ben. If you're ignoring your cat over your dog, it says it all. Stop ignoring your cat. I don't ignore my cat. I'm not going to give the cat a lot. I've turned it into a thing.

Yeah. Thank you very much, Gemma. Well, we're going to be hard to beat 13. Well, apparently, producer Bee Humps is waving that we need to go to this caller right now. Heading to Palmerston North. Welcome Hamish. How many cats have you got? 56. God. 50.

Get out of here. 56 cats. Yeah well that does include quite a few babies that have been born over the last month or two. Are you running like a cattery or anything like that? Yeah, so we run a rescue, but we're also, we're Manx breeders, so we breed a specific kind of cats.

Wow. So your numbers fluctuate depending on what season you're sitting in? Correct. Yeah, right. So what's the, you know, on a good day, what's the least amount of cats that would be under your care? Is it a good day? Well, if you're a cat lover, it's probably not a good day. So the least amount we'd probably have at any one time would probably be around 25 or so.

Still a lot of cats. What's the maintenance? How much day to day? You know, feeding time must be just an enormous undertaking. No, they're all pretty good. They know what they're doing. They're pretty intelligent animals. So we just,

you know, we put the bowls out for them. They all eat together. So it's just a matter of filling the bowls, kind of like a, like a trough kind of situation.

Yeah, it would just be a full-time job just managing 56 cats. Honestly, you'd be surprised, because we also are indoor only, because, you know, 56 cats, we don't want to be an absolute nuisance to the neighbours.

They're all inside. Well, we do have catios set up. A catio. Oh, so they go in the catio. Okay. You like farming cats. It's amazing. The cats must be like, we don't prefer chef, we just prefer some alone time

Do they all get along? Yeah, yeah, no, they get along great Most of them have been raised in a multi-cat environment Do you know the names of all the cats? Do you know them all individually? I personally struggle with the babies sometimes. They're so new and numerous and they all look the same.

Listen, don't be apologetic for that. There's 56 of them. But yeah, the permanent ones that stay on, absolutely. I know their names. Often I can know who is on the other side of the door by the sound of their meow. Obviously a cat person or you're a dog person that recently has got into cats?

No, I was raised around cats. We have a dog, but I don't quite understand them as much. I don't know what my dog is thinking half the time. I know your dog is probably thinking, mate, I'm outnumbered here. You've really outnumbered me 56

to 1 here in this situation, Hamish. Well, that is incredible. Hey, good on you for doing great work for the cat community of New Zealand. Thank you. Jono and Ben's Empty Your Basket with themarket.com with prizes worth up to $5,000. This is an incredible prize just in time for Christmas. If you head to themarket.com, you can check out their amazing range of items.

You can fill a basket with everything in the up to $5,000, your wish list, share it with us at thehitstockco.nz, and then on Friday we'll call up someone and we'll pay for their entire basket. Yeah, just that's one person. The rest of you will just awkwardly have a basket load of $5,000 worth of goods from themarket.com. I actually did a lot of Christmas shopping at market.com. My wife's presents of goods from themarket.com. I actually did a lot of Christmas shopping at market.com. My wife's presents I got from themarket.com.

It's increasingly hard to find hiding spaces around the house, isn't it, when you get birthdays and Christmases with presents and things like that. You often go for the obvious advice, which is so obvious, you know. I've got a good one at the moment. All right. Yeah. It's under the drawer. So not in the drawers.

Oh, but under the drawers. You lift the drawers up. Oh, that's under the drawer. So not in the drawers. Oh, but under the drawers. You lift the drawers up. Oh, that's good. Great place to stash stuff under the drawers. I hope your family aren't listening. Hey? I hope your family aren't listening. Well, it's Jen's parents' presence.

Okay, cool. Yeah, yeah. Well done. Oh, they aren't around and snooping around your house, are they? Well, no, she just accidentally, she always accidentally finds them. Yeah. Oh, right. Yeah, so I was like, this year,

really got to ramp up the hiding spot for her. It's also where you keep your narcotics as well. It's been a great hiding place. So she gets a double... The cops raid you. Yeah. A double bang for her buck. Oh, there's my birthday present and some meth.

Two dads just trying to fill some airtime. Some may say it's pointless, but the main thing is it fills in some air time for us. That is the main thing. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. Now, I got into a bit of a wrestling match with the kids yesterday on the lawn. And I was out number two to one, obviously. And it was like one of those scenes where you see James Bond and there's too many bad guys.

You're like, he's never going to get out of this mess. But the good thing is with kids, you can always beat them in a wrestling match, you know? Right. Yeah, you can. I mean, the only advantage I have at this point in time is height and size. That's not going to last forever. So I've got to make the most of it while it's there, Ben Boyce, you know? So not really, like, to be honest, I haven't, I mean, maybe it's just my daughter's not

really into the wrestling side of things. So, you know, you don't wrestle your children. And we also, you know, we did wrestling where there was some great guys and girls that wrestled. Remember we did for our TV show and I wasn't into the wrestling thing then,

you know, we're doing it myself. I'm doing it. This is not for me. Yeah. You know, this is not for me. I'm just really not,

it hurt. Even the falling, you know, even the falling on the thing just hurts. It does. It hurts. Yeah. It hurts. Yeah. know even the falling on the thing just hurts standing in like the lycra even hurts it's too heavy isn't it that lycra but yeah wrestling on grass too maybe I'm not made for it either I got all rashy you know the grass makes you rashy with my very sensitive skin yeah so you know I'm taking on two kids and um like I say the the joys of being in adult is you can always win a wrestling match.

When the time comes, you're like, all right, enough's enough. You know, let's do the three-tap jobby, two for one. So I wanted to do a survey, Ben. You know, how many five-year-olds can you realistically take on? And I want to do this with you. Now, this is according to scientists, and they factor in many, many variables. Oh, really? Now, so they're five, and you have the body of a seven-year-old boy,

so already there's a two-year advantage there for you. Oh, so I'm okay for a five-year-old, but not a seven-year-old, yeah. Yeah, you wouldn't be able to take on a seven-year-old. So this is how many five-year-olds can you tell me? How would you describe your physique? Average, carved out of stone, skinny, or dad-esque? Oh, I'd say skinny. I'd lock in skinny as well, yeah.

Are you willing to do whatever it takes to win this fight? No. No? Okay. No. I mean, there's some people, how far are you people prepared to go? Yeah. It's a fight.

What is it, a five-year-old? No. This is multiple five-year-olds. You're not just taking on one. They're ganging up on you. This is defence. No. You know, survival instinct is kicking in here, buddy.

Have you ever actually taken on a group of five-year-olds just out of interest? No, but I had a friend of mine. He had a little kid who was about three or four, and he was quite punchy, and he was always at groin level. He'd be like, hey, how's it going? You've been attacked by one previously. That wasn't good. Okay, here's the next question.

How many fights have you actually been in? Ooh, it is social media fights when you're, like, back and forth about, you know. Ones that hurt your feelings? Yeah, those sort of fights. Yeah, they count as well. They count, or then maybe one. Are you male or female?

Locking male there. Do you have any self-defense training? No. No. I can fall in a wrestling ring, and that hurts, but I can do that. Does that help? Yeah, that helps. Would you be willing to use an improvised weapon if one was available?

If one was there. If you were like, this is getting away on me or I'm going to pull out a mace or something. No. What sort of person would I be if that happened? Okay, click on your age bracket okay well it says here confidently you could take on eight five-year-olds that's not bad i was with bad stats too even with no interest no physique no confidence no confidence i could just hurt feelings from social media i could take them on doesn't say if i'm gonna win or not though does it yeah no but uh you know make yourself feel a little better about yourself.

Whack out a couple of five-year-olds. There you go. That was how many five-year-olds Ben Boyce could take on. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from sex on The Hits and via the iHeartRadio app. Jono and Ben on The Hits Breakfast. Friends of Skinny.