Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: John The Kiwi Joins Us For A Yarn!

Episode Date: December 5, 2022

We meet one of our favourite listeners, John The Kiwi .. from the States. We are giving away Ham for days and we have a close call in 5w5k!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kia ora, welcome along. It is the 5th of December. John O'Hare, Ben over there, and we are joined in the studio by a very special guest, a listener to the podcast, a member of the international audience to the podcast, the one and only friend of the show, US correspondent, John Lovegrove. Kia ora, good morning. Yeah, great to have you here in the flesh. Nice to be here without a three-second delay on the line. I know, it's awesome. Lovely to see you. We appreciate you listening to the podcast and talking. You provide a lot of content for this radio show, a lot of great ideas from

America, so thank you very much. Yeah, less so this year. I've been busy this year. That's all right, that's not your job. Nothing better to do than listen to John and me and all that. Yeah, but now you've got actual proper stuff that you need to get done. But you haven't been to New Zealand in a while. You've returned home. Has anything changed since the 90s here? It's so different. Really? It's so different.

Less and less things become recognisable over time. On the way here, I walked by the old 54 Cook Street where the radio station used to be. Oh, yeah, so NZME with the station now used to be based there. Unrecognisable. It's like a youth hostel, restaurant, whole thing, yeah. What's the biggest thing you've noticed about New Zealand since you've been gone and now you've returned?

The people are so unbelievably nice. Infuriatingly nice. Oh, that's good. Really? That's good. To the point where you're like, stop being nice. I can't handle it. Just slap me.

Are you used to sort of abrasive Americans? Very much so. Everything's pretty fast-paced. Nobody takes shit. You know, it's just like, get on with it. But I reckon we could take a bit more. We need a bit more of that in us. A bit more mongrel, don't we?

Ben gets served a raw piece of chicken at dinner. He won't even see the meat. I'm not making a fuss, am I? He'd rather have salmonella? Yeah. But like, if Ben gets served a raw piece of chicken at dinner, he won't even see the big... I'm not making a fuss, am I? He'd rather have salmonella. Yeah. Just eat around it. Eat around it.

Yeah. So you're back here at the moment. I'm going to catch up with some family soon as well. But you're also doing something pretty incredible as well,

visiting every brewery in New Zealand. Yeah, so in Portland I'm kind of known for my beer adventures. And quite a few things have happened to me there. But yeah in Portland I'm kind of known for my beer adventures and quite a few things have happened to me there, but while I'm here I plan to visit every single brewery

in the North Island in the month of December. So how many are there? About 85. It fluctuates, like there's a lot that I like Lion and DB, you know, they don't count and there's no pub. There's a few that have another brewery make it as on contract, so they don't

have their own pub. So, yeah, there's 85 that actually brew on site and you can go there and sample or buy a beer. So this is having a beer in all 85 of those? There's a couple that are open super limited hours. So I've kind of arranged to, like, swing by and just say hi.

Is that, yeah. Yeah, right. So you have organised a piss- up in a brewery then uh you know yeah i can do that yeah because i hear you know like people some people can't organize that but john can he can yeah he's done his research as well and you did this through portland too didn't you i did 77 breweries in one day in portland and i had some beer at every single one of them jeez Now we had the traffic light, uh, you know,

which was drinking a traffic light, the children's drink, which is not quite as cool as what you were doing, but Hey, it's very on brand for us. But Hey, a lot of, now it is a lot of artificial sugar.

Yes. That was the danger. Yeah. There was a lot of that rolling through our system as well. How did you feel by the end of that day? You know, it's the bathroom breaks that you don't, I kind of plan for

five minutes at each one and then bathroom breaks make it ten minutes at each one and then the end of the night is massive. Yeah, the floodgates have opened by the end of the night. And have you had a favourite one you've visited so far in New Zealand? So last night I went to Churley's, which is the behemoth

taproom up on Dominion. And I know the owner and they're great guys. And they gave me all I could eat, all I could drink last night. So I tried my best to put them out of business. And so this journey, you're going to document it. People can follow this journey of visiting every pub.

Yeah. Instagram at John the Kiwi. John the Kiwi. Speaking of John the Kiwi. Yeah, you've got to. I don't know who wants it. Oh, you've got your own beer. This is the one we spoke to you about as well.

This was made in America, wasn't it? Yeah, a local Portland brewery. I bought so much of their beer over the years that they named a beer after me. I think we have to keep it in the studio somewhere. We do. I think you need to drink it. Somebody needs to drink it. You can.

Okay, we'll keep it in the studio and then we'll drink it. Listen, this is the New Zealand thing, John. I don't want Ben to be upset. I don't want you to be upset. We'll share it. This will be the'll drink it. Yeah. So listen, this is the New Zealand thing, John. I don't want Ben to be upset. I don't want you to be upset. We'll share it, okay? This will be the way we can do it. That's amazing. So you've got your own beer.

So do you ever get sick of beer? Not yet. No? Not yet. Do you dabble in other forms of? Not at all. I have to be very careful about what I get into because when I get into something, I get all the way up there.

Well, you've binged our entire podcast, haven't you? Yeah, you got in deep there. Got in deep. Well, that's impressive. So good on you, John. Well, it's lovely to meet you in the flesh. Yeah. And thank you for coming by and visiting. Good luck for your pub tour. You'll meet some interesting people, no doubt.

Already have. Yeah. Where do we stack on the list of interesting people you've met over the last No you're up there Definitely top 4 million Top 4 million Catch him John the Kiwi

On Instagram Appreciate you popping by And enjoy the podcast The hits The Jono and Ben podcast How was the weekend All good It was good

Good fun Yeah Went to the office Christmas party Yeah Oh yeah Did Yes It was good fun

Yeah I didn't see you there But everyone was was in costumes, so maybe you were dressed up. Yeah. Did you see someone there in costume? Yeah, I did. That was me. Yeah, that was definitely you. Did someone have a mask on? Yeah, someone did.

Yeah, that was me. Thought that might have been you. I thought that might have been you. I love Jono on Fridays. Like, 50-50, I'm going to go. And I was like, no, you won't go. And then by the time Ben Humphrey said, where's the percentage now? He texted in the afternoon.

I said, it's sitting about 70-30. It was great fun. It was great fun. And you would have loved it. It was all done by 9 o'clock, 8.30 pretty much. Well, that's a dream, isn't it?

So you could go off from there, but it was all kind of done from there. They wrap up the Christmas parties early now, don't they? For fear of anything going wrong.

Exactly. Which is a smart play. Smart play. No one wants to be bothered dealing with that headache. You've already got a headache on the Saturday morning. Not another one hanging over you, but this week, very excited. Thanks to Farmland, every caller that makes it onto the radio is going to win a ham.

A competition everyone can enjoy, apart from the vegetarians. Yeah, so on 800THEHITS, that's our phone number all week, we're giving away a farmland ham, a Christmas ham from New Zealand's family owned Farmland Foods. And you've gone nuts on, well you've spent your time not at the Christmas party, but recording ham parody songs.

Yeah. I wanna hold your ham I wanna hold your ham Now, no to hold your ham. Now, no one tell Paul McCartney about that one. Very close to a lawsuit. Teetering on plagiarism. Very close.

How many of that is? I want to hold your ham. Yeah. Another great one here. Because it's Christmas Day. And the oven's cooking my slow hams. Slow hams cooking in the oven. Noel Horan's slow hams.

You cooked your farmland ham over the weekend. They very kindly gave us one. And we had people staying from the UK, a family staying. And I'm away for Christmas. We're like, why not? Let's get into it. Had it Saturday night. It was great.

And then Sunday. Had it with the eggs for breakfast. Had it with the sandwiches for lunch. And then had leftovers, you know, last night. So three meals all yesterday. I reckon there's still quarter of the ham left.

Yeah. Got my ham bag, my Deadly Ponies ham bag out as well. It's not Deadly Ponies, but I put it in that special ham bag that you use once a year. What is it?

That ham bag turns very manky very quickly. Keeps it going. Yeah. I know your mum, Jenny Boyce, she'd like to push the ham out the Christmas ham out

February February she was pushing out the Christmas ham in February when I went and stayed Waitangi weekend with her I was like mum let it go

let it go well I'll tell you what I won't let go it's another ham parody I like the way you glaze it no piggity I want to bag it up bag it up

is that no piggity no piggity and if you want to win one of these piggities, 0800, we can't just hand out hams. Well, we can. We're doing it all week. But you just tell us why you think you deserve a ham. Okay.

And then we will decide whether you get a ham or not. And Ben will inevitably say, well done, you win a ham. As long as you get it on the year. You basically have to get past Producer Humphreys. So once you get past Producer Humphreys on the year, you win a ham no matter what you say. So you have to get past him. He's the gatekeeper. It's Humphries on the air you win a ham no matter what you say so you have to get past him

he's the gatekeeper it's ham radio ham radio's a thing isn't it yeah it's like an old way of communicating is it what it is

maybe it's quite old the hits the Jono and Ben podcast 20 more sleeps well 28 still Christmas actually yeah not too

it's rolling around steam rolling around and you start this time of the month where you go jeez I'm running out of time to do stuff. Yeah.

Stuff I've been meaning to get done for 11 months. And I was meant to get it done before the end of the year. And Ben, we're running out of time, mate. You said this morning. There's a lot of stuff to do before we finish. I know. Yeah, no off button just yet, eh? Sprint to the finish line.

Now we've got hams. Thanks to Farmland to give away. Everyone who makes it to air this week wins a Christmas ham. And Debbie, we did say you need to convince us why this ham should be sitting on your Christmas table. I work hard and I'm working through Christmas and I haven't had time to go and buy a ham, so it would be lovely to share with my family.

Oh, okay. Hard-working Debbie. She doesn't stop. No off-button for Debbie either. We're working right up till New Year. What do you do? Bakery. Oh, people need their pies.

They do, Debbie. We do. You're going to get a free ham, mate. Yay, thank you. Merry Christmas to you guys. Yeah, Merry Christmas to you too. What do you want to say? What's been a highlight of the Jono and Ben show for a free ham, mate. Yay, thank you. No worries. Merry Christmas to you guys. Yeah, Merry Christmas to you too. What do you want to say? What's been a highlight of the Jono and Ben show for you this year, mate?

Oh, I love listening to you every morning on my way to work. Keep going, keep going, Debs. Lay it on thick like a glaze on a ham. Lay it on us. Keep glazing, Jono. Keep glazing. All right, good on you, Debbie. Go and have a wonderful Christmas.

Thanks for listening. Thank you. Bye. And should we a wonderful Christmas. Thanks for listening. Thank you. Bye. And we'll go to, should we go to Mazza in Pawanui? Welcome, Marilyn. How are you? I'm good. How do you know my nickname is Mazza?

I didn't know. John gives everyone nicknames straight away. Sometimes they work, and it's obviously worked in this particular instance. So Mazza, Christmas in in pawanui maybe our only listener in pawanui i would imagine uh you're gonna get a free ham thank you so much who's gonna be munching munching down on this ham with your maz well you know i did last year i wouldn't ham off you guys last year i gave i gave it away to a family that really appreciated it, and I thought I'd like to do it again this year, so I'm so wrapped. I've got this one again.

Double ham winner. Consecutive year after year, back to back. And giving it away twice, that's a lovely thing to do. Thank you. And Donna, I know you go along on the tire a lot. Yes. You should come over the hill to our supermarket where I work, listen to you guys every morning, and I'll give you three burgers.

Three burgers? If I travel over the hill to poverty? He won't leave his house. That's his thing. He'll say it on radio if he won't. I'm a hermit, Maz. I'm a hermit. I'm surprised he even goes out of Auckland over the holidays.

But once I get to that location, I am planted there. Hey, good on you. Well, if I make my way over there, I definitely will come in and see you. He won't. That'd be lovely. Hey, Merry Christmas. Have yourself a great Christmas. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

Now, over the weekend, we came into work. We had to do something on a Saturday. And in the office, I was on the phone, and then something flew past my head. So the office was a bird. A bird had somehow got trapped inside a massive area of office with no windows. Yeah. And then you came in. You're like, I need your hand getting a bird out.

And I was like, oh. Yeah, I did. I rubbed in the security guard. I love you. So Ben had rubbed us all in. And we all had other stuff to do. I was like, oh, okay, well, generally birds, they just figure it out for themselves.

Well, that's what I like to think. But you can't, and this is no windows for the bird to get out, or doors. It was trapped in a massive area, but it was trapped. There are big windows, the ones they fly into and bang. Yeah, but they don't open, do they? So we opened one little door at the end of probably, without a word of a lie, a 30-meter room.

Huge floor space. And I went into it going, this is never going to happen. The ceiling's quite high, so the bird, it had the height advantage. It had wings. And we were just kind of flapping around bits of items we could pick up from the office. I had a piece of cardboard. I had a coaster jacket I was waving around like a sort of propeller. A lump shard of security gutter, like a piece of A4 paper,

and we're trying to usher it towards the door. And, yes, he's making a signal with his hands, like, I told you so. It was a Christmas miracle, guys, because the bird flew out, not just through the door that we left open, but around to the right and out the big double doors outside. I was like, within not that long, within a few minutes of us doing this. They never show any gratitude, though. Do they know what we've been through to get them out?

They're not going to come back. They're just going to their friends going, jeez, that was, you'd never guess where I'd be. But not even a chirp, chirp as they fly off. Thanks, guys. Sorry for inconveniencing you. And they never look comfortable when they're inside, do they? No.

No. Well, as imagined, you would do, right? They're in a fluster. And all you want to say to them is, mate, calm down. This is the way out. Sit down and we'll point you in the right direction. Stop just flying around erratically. But then I got home and my daughter, I heard a bit of a shock scream from the bathroom

and the cat had brought in a bird as well, just as I got home. Now, this bird was kind of when they get kind of stunned. And then I was kind of like, oh, don't worry, I'll get the cat away and I'll pick it up. But I did not want to pick it up. But I did. But, you know, I kind of put it in a little towel and stuff like that. But it was fine. I again took it outside and it sort of got back to life and away it went.

But I was just a bloody Dr. Doodle over here. I'm not comfortable in that position as well. Like I'm trying to. Yeah, no. I hate holding birds. Since they start flapping and stuff. Same thing. There was a pigeon.

I don't know how on earth a pigeon ended up in my daughter's bedroom. Screams came from the bedroom. I picked the pigeon up and I was like, oh, I'll do the good thing. Put him outside on the table and put him out there and we're watching him through the window and this cat. Oh, no, no, don't, no. That was a bloodbath. Oh, my God.

I was like, it's the circle of life, kids. We're going to get you motivated. It's the Lion King. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. Billy Joel looked amazing. I saw a lot of footage online of that over the weekend at Eden Park. It looked incredible.

He's a bloody champion, isn't he, Billy Joel? How old's he? I'm not sure. I loved it. He was like, there was no one playing before him. There was no real razzmatazz. He's just like him, came out on stage, played for a long, long time with the look of it. And just, yeah.

He's like, I haven't made new music since like 1993 or something. So you get to hear all the stuff. And he played all the bangers. Even other people's bangers as well, I think. Yeah, I like that sort of honesty. I've done no new stuff, so you're going to hear all my old crap, okay? Enjoy it. But that's what he wants, though.

That's what you're right. You know, so if someone says, here's a new song from my new album, you're like, ugh. Ugh. Why did you make new music? Yeah, I know what you're saying. You went to Bob Dylan with your father. He dragged you along there, and you were looking forward

to hearing some of Bob Dylan's. Yeah, well, it you're saying. You went to Bob Dylan with your father. He dragged you along there, and you were looking forward to hearing some of Bob Dylan's. Yeah, well, it was my birthday present. I've never been a Bob Dylan fan, but my dad's like, hey, guess what? I'm coming up to Auckland, and for your birthday, I'll take you to Bob Dylan. I'm like, okay. I feel like this is more centered around your passion for Bob Dylan, Dad.

So I was like, yeah, I'll go along. I like going to a concert. I'll go along with you. So I looked up on Apple Music, Spotify. Before I went, I'm like, oh, cool, I know that song. I like going to a concert. I'll go along with you. So I looked up on, you know, Apple Music, Spotify before I went. I'm like, oh, cool, I know that song. Hurricane. I know that song.

Did not play a single song that I knew. Didn't even talk to the crowd. Like, not even like a hello, Auckland, or like, I was in Australia last night and they don't know how to rock. None of that. He just came on stage, started singing. At the end, he sort of bowed and then that was it.

I mean, he obviously played and then he played like a... Was there banter in between the songs? Nothing. The lights would fade down, they'd fade back up again. And, you know, like if you love Bob Dylan, which I'm indifferent about, then I'm sure it would have been fine. But none of it was his hits.

Did you walk away from there satisfied with your birthday present? Hey, it was an experience, put it that way. Would you go back to another Bob Dylan concert? Oh, no, maybe next birthday. So we want to motivate you on a Monday with a bit of Motivational Monday. Yeah, it's just another Motivational Monday. It's just another Motivational Monday. That's right.

We like the steroids, the illegal steroids from Russia to get you started for the weekend. You know, this time of the year, you may be checking out. The finish line is near for many people, but it's not time to check out of yourself. No, you've got to do a lot before the end of the year. You do. So you need this motivation, particularly from Gwyneth Paltrow. I was very much raised with the notion that you can be anything you want to be

and you have to do it yourself but if you can truly believe in yourself and sort of see the bullseye and keep it in your sights like that's what i was raised to believe and it's a very exhilarating feeling it's a very powerful feeling and i believe that anybody can channel that feeling and manifest for themselves absolutely you can be anything you want to be except a lion you can feel it you can you can channel that feeling and manifest for themselves. Absolutely. You can be anything you want to be, except a lion. You can come into work today and go, guys,

I'm going to identify as a lion. In fact, you probably could identify as a lion nowadays. Maybe. So, okay. But Gwyneth Paltrow, very successful. She kind of veered away from movies.

She now got bloody saucily, zeroed in on the saucy candles. I feel like she's got other products and stuff. Goop. Is that Goop? I think it is Goop. Yeah.

A lot of those people they get, Jay-Z, he's just all business now. Rihanna, she's been hocking off bloody beauty products. She's more successful

from those, the fashion line and everything else than music. And she's obviously uber successful in music. Yeah, it's a smart play, isn't it? Get famous

with the movie, start your business, make billions. Ben that's never going to happen to you, me or probably you listening. Hey we've got some chips mate, you can win $10,000 with our chips at the moment, the Jono and Ben chips you know, that's a start let's dip our toes into the corporate world Yeah the heartland chips

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast It's at number 2, released in 1942, the heartland chips. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. It's at number two. Okay. Released in 1942, the same year I graduated radio school. What a time to be alive. So Bing Crosby really nailed his foot to fire. And I'll give you a clue, there's another Bing one in there. Oh, is there? Because he's got the biggest selling ones because they've been around the longest.

Has he got like the most wonderful time of the year or something? Has he done that? Has he done Santa Claus is coming to town? No, but he did do I'll be home for Christmas. Yeah, not anymore he won't be. God, he just sounds old,

doesn't he? He just sounds like an old person. So Bing Crosby at four and two. Shockingly, the boobs not in there. Yeah, I was going to say

no boob late. No boobs. No Snoopy's Christmas, no pogues I imagine aren't in there as well. A song we've been thrashing over the last seven days is in there, at number one, in fact. I would say that was Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas. All I Want for Christmas is another Christmas song.

Just got to number one, is that right, Producer Alex, again? I think it's streaming again, number one again. Yeah, sure. She's not listening again. No, she is. Over the weekend in New Zealand. She's streaming back at number one on the charts. So there you go.

People love that song. What else you got there, Ben, boys? Maybe Last Christmas. Is that another one that popped into my head? Is that anywhere near the top five? You'd be right. It's number three. Released in 1984, but didn't hit the top of the charts until 2017.

The ultimate song about re-gifting. He gave her a heart and the next day... She gave it away. Yeah. But this is amazing. It didn't go to number one until George Michael passed away. Really? He wasn't even here to enjoy the fruits of that.

Now, Christmas Day, too, we learned the other day that he sadly passed away on Christmas Day, right? Yeah, it was probably all the radio stations downloading it to play in memory of George Michael. But the fifth and final one, throw one out there, chuck a dart at the board with a blindfold. Band-Aid, do they know it's Christmas? No. Oh, I thought that was... Okay. I was building you up.

Okay. Jingle Bell Rock. Oh, yeah, great song. Yeah, so these, again, probably the majority of them have just been there. They've been there for hundreds, if not decades. Hey, after 7 o'clock on the show, we've got plenty more Christmas hams to give away. All thanks to Farmland Ham. Every caller that gets on the air on 0800 The Hits wins a ham just in time for Christmas.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Are you a Christmas shopper? Have you got all your shopping done? Oh, it's a bit tricky this year because we are heading overseas to see some family. So normally I would be, I'd be making a list and checking it twice. I reckon you'd be very organised.

On an average year, you'd have it done by November. Not done by November, but I would take, I take a lot of responsibility for the Christmas purchasing. You know, that's it. You got your list by November? but I take a lot of responsibility for the Christmas purchasing. You've got your list by November? Yeah, probably have.

And you'll execute that over the year? Started to do it. But not as organized as my daughter, Indy. Look at this. I'll show you this. Look, she's making spreadsheet documents. I'm going to show you right now. Google Docs with the link and the picture.

Did she make that herself? It's like a slideshow. Like a slideshow. Yeah, because it's the thing. You always had the conversation for Christmas I actually asked her over the weekend

I said what do you want for Christmas and she told me all about this Google Doc she created so what have you made I've made a Christmas wish list

right but you don't have to get any everything it's just like ideas you know you know what I mean I know what ideas are yeah so you've made

what a Google Google slide yeah and there's about there's google google slide yeah um and there's about there's quite a lot of slides and there's like the item the store the price and then there's a link to it and then there's like a little photo that shows you like what it looks like and stuff so yeah just be easier for me to give you my credit card number yeah I mean but this is kind of more cooler way than me just buying it, you know? She's always done this. Even when we went to the mall when she was younger and Santa said,

what do you want for Christmas? And she said, well, I've got a Google Doc I can share you in on. So she's really upped her game at the moment. Imagine Santa's eyes glazed over as soon as he heard the word Google Doc. So you need to share me in on your Gmail, Santa. I'll share you to the document. But that's very organized and helpful too. Links are there.

I can click on a link if I want to buy it or not. It's a very professional slideshow she's created as well. Well, you wouldn't get a more organized child than Indy, but unfortunately not all of us have organized children like that, and you need help. So what we thought we'd do is over this week is we'll focus in on certain demographics yeah and then that you know so for example uh dads could phone up one morning and go this is what dads want if you don't know what to get a dad in your life then this could be a great option

for you to listen to and go hey i would love a pair of socks and underpants because that's what we've been giving you for the last 52 years. So let's keep with the kid theme this morning. So kids, if you want to give us a call, I'll enter the hits and tell us what you want for Christmas. Put it out there. Maybe your aunties and uncles or relations could be listening

or maybe give ideas for other people to buy for kids. And at the same time, we can hook your family up with a Farmland Foods ham. What do the kids want this Christmas? This is our gift to you. It's not as good as a Prezi card, is it?

No. But it's still a gift. Yeah. Jono and Ben gifting to you next 0800 The Hits. Kids, what are you wanting for Christmas? Help us old people out. And I'd love to hear from you this morning on The Hits. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

And we're also finding out what people want for Christmas, trying to be Santa's little helpers, helping you guys out with your Christmas purchases. Yeah, now it's just everyone in one hit. It's not going to satisfy anyone. So we're focusing on age groups every day this week. And today the kids. What are the kids wanting for Christmas? What do the kids want for Christmas that will inevitably end up as landfill in about three months time?

That's what we want this morning. We'll go to Jake, who's 10 years old. Welcome to the show, Jake. Hi, guys. Who knows what the kids want these days? They probably want us to bugger off so they can watch YouTube or something. What do you want for Christmas, Jake? I'd really like a dirt bike as well as a mountain bike in there.

Oh, a mountain bike and a dirt bike? Wow. Could you scale it down maybe? Hey, we're not buying from him. We're not buying from him. So you think a lot of 10-year-olds would want dirt bikes and mountain bikes this Christmas, Jake? Not too much. Not too much, but he's just saying this is what I want.

If anyone knows Jake, he's like... Any of the gear, a bike, whatever it wants, whatever you want. Well, thank you very much for your call. We appreciate that. We're going to hook your family up

with a Christmas ham for Christmas. Thank you. Yeah. Was that on your wish list? A ham? No. No, but hey, but it's great for the family.

It's Christmas Day and the oven's cooking my slow hams. Slow hams. Making their way to Jake's house. Great for the family. Slow hams. Making their way to Jake's house. All thanks to Farmland Food as well. Let's take someone else on 100 of the hits. Yeah, the centre's little helper line. Romy, you're on from Wairarapa.

You're 14 years old. What are the new teens wanting this Christmas? Well, personally, I want some new Nike slides or maybe some Crocs even. The Crocs have made a wonderful recovery, haven't they? They're very trendy now, aren't they? The recovery I would like to make as a human being, you know? Like to be like, wow, popular again. But they never were popular, but they never surged.

They haven't recovered from it. And the slides as well. So slides or crocs, anything else there, Romy, for the 14-year-olds of Aotearoa? I mean, maybe some new Air Force Ones. Okay. We've already stepped things up there, haven't we? Nice.

I like it. I like it a lot. So Nike are going to be doing very well out of Romy's family. We're going to hook you guys up, your family, with a Christmas ham. Thanks to Farmland's Food. You have a great Christmas. You too. All right.

The Santa's Little Helper line continues on. We're going to finish with Elise. You're on from Parmy. How was the Manawatu this morning, Elise? Good. You're 11 years old. What are you wanting for Christmas? Some crocks. Oh, crocks again. Crocks. Yes. 11 years old. What are you wanting for Christmas? Some Crocs.

Oh, Crocs again. Yes, see. Gee whiz. Crocs are the Croc conglomerate are going to do very well this Christmas as well. What colour Crocs? Either orange ones or yellow ones. Oh, they sound obnoxious. I see you can also add some little things to them, make them look a little better, personalise your Crocs too.

Yeah. Okay, so a lot of novelty footwear for the kids this Christmas. That's what we're hearing being bought, and dirt bikes, expensive dirt bikes as well. Probably don't wear the Crocs on a dirt bike, I don't know. Okay, so that was Santa's little helper's line today. Tomorrow we'll return with, let's say, the mums. Okay. What are the mums wanting this Christmas?

Alright, sounds good. We've got plenty more Farmland's hams to give away before 9 o'clock this morning. It is the Hits, Jono and Ben 721. Jono and Ben, cheers to challenge. New Zealand's real service stations. You can win free fuel throughout the Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

New Zealand, we love to be talked about. We love when New Zealand is mentioned on movies, on TV shows, and The Chase. I mean, you couldn't get a more popular show with the boomers in New Zealand. Oh, I tell you what, yeah. This is the pinnacle. We got a shout out on The Chase with what I,

after hearing the question, it's a very specific question. If I was on The Chase in the UK, I'd be like, I don't know, mate. Have a listen to the question. Now, they almost got it right, and almost, and they got it given to them incorrect. Have a listen.

Which woman is the MP for Mount Albert in New Zealand? Oh, Julia Gill. Oh. Stop the clock. That is wrong. Which woman is the MP for Mount Albert in New Zealand? Jacinta Arden, is it? Yeah.

Should we go for that? Yeah. Jacinta Arden? Sorry, can't give it to you. It's Jacinda, not Jacinta. Okay, here we go. So, this is the bone of contention. Yeah.

Should they have been given the answer with Jacinta? I mean, nine out of ten farmers I spoke to at field days called her Jacinta. So, we know who they're talking about. Yeah, and they knew her. They just didn't get it quite correct. If you were some British geezer on the chase, they're like, who's the local MP for Mount Elwynn? Mount Elwynn, not even the New Zealand Prime Minister.

That was impressive, but not quite impressive enough to get Bradley Walsh giving him the okay. But you were like, oh, he should give it to him. But this is why you could never host a game show, because everyone would win. The chase would be bankrupt in about a week and a half if Ben Boyce hosted it. He'd feel too guilty.

Giving it on everyone close. That's why I have to button off five words. It's coming up very shortly. We have to have it correct. You wouldn't give $5,000 away for Jacinta Ardern, would we? Yeah, no, it was starting to sink the hits when you started out doing five words. But this is what, I guess

they knew who they were talking about, but that's what you were doing. You went, oh, I know what you mean. Alright, well done. You'll win the cash. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Talking a lot about Christmas, because it's coming up very shortly, and Costco, a huge department store opened up in Auckland a couple of months ago.

Lions out the door. It's very, very popular, but a lot of people can't get there because it's in Auckland. Even if you can get there, there's huge queues. Yeah, there's one lady who's solving everyone's problems this Christmas. So if you want someone to do your Christmas shopping for you, she's the one. And Aunty Jo, good morning. Good morning.

You're a hero, doing people's Christmas shopping for them, not just Christmas shopping, but all shopping at Costco. Oh, I love the word. Thank you for that. Yeah. So how did you get this idea? So obviously you shopped at Costco. What gave you the idea to do other people's shopping? Oh, yes. I wanted it to be inclusive. I've seen posts in Costco Westgate fan page.

And, you know, when we shop, people who shop in Auckland, right, they will post their products and all. And there are comments in there that says, oh, is there anyone who can help me shop? And also that's where the idea was from. Right. You could see there was demand. There was demand in the market for people who couldn't get to Costco. And so say, for example, Ben, he wants to get a couch, a car tyre and a kitchen sink. He could get you to go and pick those up for him and you'll send them out. That's correct. Yep. How much

do you charge? Well $20 flat fee. That seems like a really good deal doesn't it? Yes it is because that's the only cost that we can control in this process and we wanted people to save a little bit on fees and all.

Jo, you need to double that, mate. You're spending a lot of time at Costco. Yeah, triple it, triple it. 60 bucks, mate. Make some cash out of this, Jo. That's all good, that's all good. So on a scale of sort of, let's say, being stuck in peak hour traffic to having to manoeuvre a couch through a door,

how much do you regret starting up this business and has it become the bane of your life? Oh no, no, not at all. Well, I love to walk, I love looking at things and instead of me spending on those, you know, items that I love, I save money, I earn and yeah, no, not at all. I don't get sick. So how many people have got hold of you, Aunty Jo, to get you to do their shopping at Costco? Well, at the moment, we have received 252 orders. Wow. Today is our first month, and yeah, we closed to 252 orders.

That's incredible. And so how many steps are you doing on the old Fitbit every day? You must be clocking up some... Oh my goodness, yes. My watch just keeps on, you know, vibrating. Like, well done. Awesome. Well done.

Awesome work. So what's the most amount of steps you've done on one day? Well, I think it's about 15, 15K. 15K. Wow. 15,000. And what's the best thing that you've seen at Costco that you've like, wow, that's a great deal?

Oh, yes. So great deal when it comes to taste is cookies. Cookies. How much are we getting cookies for there, Auntie Jo? You know, there's 24 pieces of cookies in that. Big, huge, big cookies. And it's like 50 cents. It's chewy.

It's yummy. And yeah, that's the best. That's the best, I think. 24 cookies for 50 cents did you say no 24 cookies for 11.99 that's like 50 cents um per cookie are they big cookies they're big cookies they are big cookies big cookies 50 cents i like those cookies you always want me to delete of yours john or that's something else is that is that the same one i don't. Can you delete cookies as well, Jo? Ben can't figure it out.

Oh, my goodness. Cookie Monster would be happy going to Costco then, wouldn't he? Auntie Jo, what a great thing you're doing for people, helping people out at a really, really reasonable price. So if people want to get in touch with you, how do they do that? Yes, thank you for that. Yes, we have our Facebook page. They just have to follow and just message us to receive the order form.

And, yeah, we'll go from there. What's been the one item where you're like, oh, this is going to be a nightmare to pick up and deliver? The biggest item. Not yet. The biggest item was the playground, but I haven't delivered that one yet because I cannot figure out how to deliver it. A playground?

100 kg, one box. 100 kilograms of playground? It's a big playground, yes. Is it too late to get in for Christmas, Aunty Jo, with you? Will you do our Christmas shopping for us? Oh, yes, we can. But we will have a Christmas shutdown as well. So, yeah, we will announce it on our page.

It will be a two-week shutdown. I'll put my order in now. 19 washing machines. Can you get that out for me? Oh, certainly. Thank you. Certainly. And I'll take that 100kg playground.

Well, good on you, Aunty Jo. And smart. It's what businesses find something that people want and do it for them, and you've cracked it. Good luck. Congratulations. Aunty Jo, Merry Christmas. I wish you were my biological auntie.

Oh, thank you. Merry Christmas. Now, as radio host, Ben, we don't possess many useful skills that work outside of this room that we sit in every morning. No. Ben, we were talking the other day on the podcast how you have one amazing talent through your years of writing commercials on radio. That's not an amazing talent.

Whenever we get a script, and he's like, that's not going to fit into 30 seconds. That's his one talent. And every time he's right, he's like, that's a 60 seconder. They're trying to squeeze it into a 30.

Too many words in there. But it doesn't serve me any purpose in life other than those moments. It impresses me though. I'm like, he's right again. Damn right he knows how many words he can fit into a 30 second advert. Yeah, I used to write ads for a while, yeah. Novus

Show Us Your Crack was one of the ones that I write, that's the only one that's still around. Ah, Novus, that's the guy, that's the guy. And that's the most, whenever we tell anyone that, they are so impressed. I told someone that at the Christmas party on the weekend and they were like, oh, as you could see, suddenly I went up in their estimation. Yeah. I was like, oh man, we impressed people that were on the Bunnings tour as well. But one other skill that we do have is, for whatever reason, because we talk in the morning, people think, get them to MC things, weddings, funerals.

I did a circumcision ceremony once. I'll do anything. I'll MC anything. So yesterday, I got wheeled out for the old school fair, the Christmas markets. And I'm in charge of the quick-fire raffle. Now, it's a rolling raffle. It doesn't stop.

Non-stop raffling. I just talk and, Ben, it's my dream. Open mic, you're on for three to five hours. So what are you like? Open raffle? How does it work? It just doesn't stop. So it'll be like, oh, okay, we've got a meat pack.

All right, here it is. And then people have to go out and buy $2 a ticket for the meat pack. Then I spin a wheel. Oh, and then another raffle just keeps going. Then another one, we just roll on. Okay. Roll on. The problem is,

after non-stop talking for three to five hours, I don't even know what I'm saying. I'm just talking. Do you have to talk the whole time? Probably not. Anyone else that would have done it in the past probably did it. They're the raffle,

and then we'll have a break, and we'll come back. This guy isn't shut up. On the mic for the whole time, and I'm just extorting money out of people. You know? I was short from almost going, give me your credit card number

and the three-digit pin. I'll show you this beauty hamper pack. But by the end of it, I was like, these people must just be, shut up, you idiot. You know? I can imagine.

When you've talked so much. Even you telling me this story, mate. Are you thinking, shut up, you idiot, now? Yes, absolutely. I've only been going for two minutes, 20 seconds. And he's already saying, shut up, you idiot. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Now, a lot of concerts at the moment are heading into Christmas.

Billy Joel over the weekend looked amazing at Eden Park. As you said before, he came out and he said, I haven't had a new song since 1993. I'm just going to play the bangers that you want. And thank you for that honesty, Billy Joel, as well. It looked incredible. It looked really cool. And I imagine that's what the people came for, Ben.

They came for the bangers. They didn't want Joel's new material. That's why he hasn't had it. No one's wanted Joel's. I don't need it. I've cracked it. I've got enough hits. No one's wanted Joel's new material since 1994. He hasn't even wanted new material. That's why he hasn't had it. No one's wanted Joel's. I don't need it. I've cracked it. I've got enough hits. No one's wanted

Joel's new material since 1994. He hasn't even wanted new material. I've written a new song. Boo! So yeah,

so it looked incredible. Jack Johnson this Saturday night as well at Western Springs, which will be awesome.

I think he's heading to Napier after that as well, which will be amazing. Yeah, he seems a very relaxed guy. Going along there?

Going along? Looking forward to that this weekend? He doesn't seem like much would stress him out, Jack Johnson. No. I don't. Except the climate. The planet.

I think the planet gets him a bit worse. Is it winding him up? Yeah, a little bit. Remember he wanted us all to go pick up rubbish for him or something, didn't he? Yeah. I was like, are you coming, Jack? I'm a beach cleaner. He does it heaps overseas.

He's very good for that. It's a great idea. Are you going to be picking up bottles on the beach? I don't imagine. I think it's a foot like the concerts yeah probably all drinking from the same cup or something like that it's just i mentioned you know like yeah one of those concerts anyway uh guns and roses they're here as well this weekend and they're just wrapping up their tour of australia and things went bad in Perth over the weekend where a lady's ended up,

thanks to Axl Rose the singer, she's got two black eyes. He does something at the end of every concert, he's been doing it for 30 years and I think he's thinking twice about it, have a listen. A Gums and Roses fan has left their Adelaide show with an unwanted souvenir. The band was performing its final song when lead singer Axl Rose threw his microphone into the audience. Rebecca Howe was in the firing line, the incident leaving her with a bruised face and bloodied nose.

Two black eyes. Yeah, it was two black eyes. We saw the picture. It looked brutal. Yeah, it's kind of like, you know, how we all look with black rings under our eyes at the end of the year. Yeah. But worse.

So Axl Rose has said that he will no longer be throwing the mic into the crowd. I mean, to be fair, it's like a nine-inch missile. There you go. Surely he should be like, hey, guys, just so you know, now's the part of the show where I'm going to chuck this thing at high speed. So just heads up, you know, hands up, everything. Everyone ready? The poor tech people that have to be in charge of the mic, they wouldn't want the mics thrown in.

They're never going to get those back. You know, so it's, yeah. It's probably a good thing he's not going to do that in Auckland this weekend. Must cost him a bloody fortune of microphones. You're right, Ben Boyce. Imagine the spreadsheet, the Guns N' Roses World Tour spreadsheet. Well, Axl Rose has spent about half of our budget on microphones and 0800 the hits.

We're going to open this up right now. Concert chaos. What has happened to you inside a concert? You can text 24487. Because, you know, I've never crowd surfed, but I imagine crowd surfing goes awry. Yeah, maybe you were injured like that. Maybe you were brought up on stage.

Maybe you were kicked out of the concert. We'd love to know this morning. You've got a ham for every caller that makes it to air this morning and this week. Thanks to Farmland. I went to Kendrick Lamar, wonderful hip-hop artist. And we must have bought tickets to the pashing section of the arena where there was a couple behind me. And I've mentioned it a couple of times before. Furious passion. all through the opening act

all through Kendrick I was like none of them came up for air, I was worried about the oxygen supply back there, at one point I was like oh am I a part of this now there was a leg over my shoulder I think my elbow was in his groin, I didn't know what was going on

We're talking concert chaos, a lot of concerts happening around the country at the moment I think my elbow was in his groin. I didn't know what was going on. We're talking concert chaos. A lot of concerts happening around the country at the moment. Yeah, poor lady took a microphone to the face. It's the Guns N' Roses concert in Australia. They're coming here this weekend. Just be wary. Although Axl Rose has said,

hey, I might pull pin on throwing microphones into the audience now. Yeah. So, yeah, just be wary. Concert chaos. Things can happen in the heat of the moment, can't they? We have a dear friend of ours she went along to uh lionel richie and she's having a wonderful time and there was a probably too good a time yeah really getting into dancing on the ceiling and other lionel songs that escaped me but during a quiet period of the concert she was uh yelling out i effing love you lionel i love you and then lionel heard this and was like whoa someone needs to take that lady home i think

she's had too much to drink and just like shamed her in front of the whole stadium and she was with friends and family and they were like oh no and then someone behind her said you've ruined my lionel richie concert and she's like oh dear, no. And then someone behind her said, you've ruined my Lionel Richie concert. And she was like, oh, dear God. I think she kept continuing yelling it out. Lionel was like, okay. Okay. Concert chaos, though.

That's what we want to know. We've got farmland foods, hams up for grabs every day this week. Now, let's get Rebecca on, shall we? You were on the radio. It says you're from New Zealand. That's a good start. Rebecca, on our phone system. What happened at the concert? Well, good morning.

So just to put some context there, so we'd all flown over to Australia to go see Elton John at his Hanging Rock concert, so right out in the middle of the country. Beautiful. So there was no easy way home once he'd been kicked out. Yeah. And so I went with my siblings and my mother,

and my mum, being a King Country girl, has a very strong whistle to her. Apparently it was very important to be able to whistle with the boys at New Plymouth, you know, across the river. Yeah. So she'd been whistling for about half the concert, and the people behind us never actually asked her to stop whistling.

They just wouldn't hold security. And so next minute we're getting shoulder tapped by the police and being asked to leave. Because she was whistling too loud. Yeah. So thankfully, my younger brother Ben, because, you know, all Bens are the man, he managed to talk the police into letting us stay.

So nearly kicked out of Elton John for whistling too loud. Yeah, like, she was getting arrested. Like it was so close. Whistling. It was nearly on her. Someone whistle blew the whistle blower. Yeah. Hey, that's great, Rebecca.

We're going to send you out a ham thanks to Farmland. Christmas is sorted. Oh, awesome. I say Christmas is sorted. There's a lot of other stuff you need to do. Yeah, but that's a great start though, isn't it? Yeah, good on you, Rebecca. Appreciate that.

We'll keep the calls going through on 0800THEHITS. Ashley, good morning. Morning, how's it going? Good to have you on. We met Ashley in Christchurch last week. It was lovely to meet you. Yeah, how are you boys feeling after all your sausages? I think they have passed through the system now.

I'm glad yours have. Oh, jeez, really? I'm sure your wife's the happiest. I think I'm more sausage than human at the moment. Still sitting in there. Ashley, concert chaos, what happened? We came up to Crashers for that Killers concert, and we were late, which was a nightmare,

so we missed the start of it. Couldn't find our seats. And then halfway through it, they held the note too long and blew the fuse so it just went pitch black smoky drunk people in the mosh pit not knowing what was going on we were just casually sitting in our seats being like do we leave do we stay what do we do oh so there was a power cut and you were sitting in darkness it wasn't a power cut they blew like the pyrotechnics like system completely like it went bang too much rock and roll yeah and then they just came back didn't say anything

about it just got back on with the song they were singing you think it's an event that you might acknowledge yeah it was a bit odd sorry about that guys fire engines came unsure why we didn't get evacuated. Bit terrifying, but it's okay. I remember going to a Marilyn Manson concert on Queen Street once the fire alarm went off halfway through the show and then ended up with 1,500, 2,000 goths just sort of lingering around on Queen Street, not knowing.

But a mob of goths, it makes an impact. There's people giving that a wide berth, that group. I can imagine. Hey, Ashley, thank you for sharing the story. Lovely to meet you. We're going to hook you up with a Farmland Foods ham for Christmas as well. Thanks so much, boys.

No worries. You have a great Christmas. We really appreciate you listening to the show. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. You know I like to be organised, Jono. You do? I appreciate that about you. What I love is Ben's organisation cancels out my disorganisation

and we meet somewhere in the middle. I don't like, you know, I like feeling on top of everything. I don't like when things aren't, you know, I'm not on top of stuff. He's Monica, I'm Phoebe. Yeah. Okay? I think it's for my parents. It all stems back to your childhood.

Jenny and Kevin both just love to run things right to the minute. Like how many rides I've had with my dad over the Rimutaka Ranges from Marston to Wellington trying to get a fly to run in there and it's a white knuckle ride just to push it, just to push it. I'd rather be at the airport five hours early than experience the stress of getting somewhere yeah i know what you're saying uh we we turned up once on a month it was a bleak monday night in wellington traveled to wellington airport you're like my dad will pick us up my dad will meet us at the airport and we arrive what 10 30 at night yeah and i was bucketing down and you're like he'll be here soon and he was like he'll be coming over the room at dark

and i text him yeah you'll still pick us up he's like yep i was like oh good i left it for a bit and then i texted back and i was like yeah you still pick us up he goes yeah yeah tomorrow but no no we're here now mate you know like love and bye for my mom and my dad both you know but you are you like four if we're going away for work you'll have your bag packed four days before and i did something last week because we had a couple of days off after we'd been around eating sausages. And I did something and I was trying to get organized for my daughter. So, you know, she's starting a new school next year

and she may be taking the bus. Packed your lunch for January? Well, that's the thing. She may be taking the bus next year. And, you know, it's not a school bus. It's a public bus. So I was like, hey, why don't we do a dry run of the school bus, you know, of the bus trip because it's a school day.

Why don't we do that in the morning? We'll go down, we'll take the bus so you know when to get on, you know when to get off. We do that sort of thing. This makes sense. Yeah, so it makes sense. But then I ran into someone at the mall, Dan Carter, legendary home play Dan Carter at the mall.

You know, he listens to the show. We really appreciate that. Morning, Dan. We do. He actually does. He does, which is awesome. He's our most famous listener. I love Dan Carter. But then he was like, hey, what are you doing at the mall. You know, he listens to the show. We really appreciate that. Morning, Dan. We do. He actually does. He does, which is awesome. I love Dan Carter. But then he was like, hey, what are you doing at the mall with your daughter?

And then I explained to him, I said, oh, we're doing a bit of a dry run with the bus. And he was like, oh, she's starting a new school tomorrow. I was like, oh, no, January. And you could tell that even Danada was like, oh, oh. And I sort of went, oh, that does, that's like, it's not even, it was into November. It was like, we had December. And I think they started in February.

I think they did. I was like, oh, we've got, I've gone two months too early on this thing. Oh, so he's like eight or nine weeks away? You're doing a dry run. Just trying to do a bit of a dry run. She'll forget what stop she needs to get off by February. You're right. You're right.

It's probably not until February. And I'm like, I had that moment. I'm like, maybe I'm too, it's too organized. Here's an idea. And I'll give you New Year's to simmer on it. One week next year, we pick a week. And it's Ben's go with the flow week. Okay. And I get to choose. I already hate it. One week next year, we pick a week, and it's Ben's go with the flow week. Okay?

And I get to choose. I already hate it. You put your phone away, your laptop away, and you just go with the flow. Okay? And I'll run things. I don't want to go with the flow. Yeah. Go with the flow week.

We're going to do it. When we return, 2023, you can get your head around it over New Year's. You can come to terms with it. But go with the flow week. You can't make any decisions. Can't send any emails. Can't be across anything you just gotta go oh what are we doing here yeah i guess i love it i feel very underprepared for it already