Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: Jono and Ben are issued their own Drag Queen names!

Episode Date: April 11, 2022

Today we chat to James Luck aka Elektra Shock, Jono gets some fishing advice from New Zealand's First Man of Fishing and the Do's & Don'ts for app dating!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits with the Jono and Ben Podcast. Hey, welcome to the podcast. It's the 11th of April, Monday. Producer Behump's come in very proud of himself over the weekend saying he purchased a jacket and he keeps taunting us saying you'll never guess how much I got it for. Let's talk about it on the show tomorrow because apparently it's pretty incredible. It's a bargain. It's a bargain. We do that as New Zealanders. We're so proud of a bargain, aren't we? Yeah.

You kind of hold up. I bumped into a guy at the gym. He had a whole new outfit. And this was a couple of years ago. And blow by blow, through every item, he took me through it. And he'd go, see this shirt? Guess how much you got this for? And I could never guess. Like, I said, $30.

He's like, $5. See these shorts? Guess how much I got these for and it was a game that I was never I could never guess so I don't know why he kept saying

guess how much I got these for it's a New Zealand thing though isn't it we love to sort of like if you get something you're like hey I got it on discount

or I got it cheaper or I got it through you know you never like to gloat that you that you paid full price for something you got something you know

yeah it seems like in America it's all check it out you know it's all, check it out. It's all about how much you spend on it. The more expensive, the better. Better in New Zealand. In New Zealand, it's like, no. No, I got this at a discount.

I would never pay full price for that. So that's going to be on the show tomorrow. I can't wait to see how much you paid for that jacket. It's a nice jacket. It's a camo jacket, camouflage. Huffer. Huffer job. Retail value, how much was it retail value?

Just tell us that. 159.99. 159.99. 159.99 for a jacket. Yeah, I'm going to... 80? Oh, well, hey. He gave me a little look with a little race eye. He gave me a knowing look with the eyebrows up.

Like the Ashley Bloomfield after Hipkins said, spread your legs. So, yeah, that's on the show tomorrow. Belle Crawford, are you a bargain fan? Belle Crawford's helping us out at the moment. Yeah, and you're right. We almost tore Poppy ourselves. We were like, oh, yeah, it was this, but I got it this much. Yeah, I are you a bargain fan? Belle Crawford's helping us out at the moment. Yeah, and you're right. We almost tall poppy ourselves where we're like, oh, yeah, it was this, but I got it this much.

Yeah, I do like a bargain. And I often, like with online shopping, I'll find the best price on something. So I'll compare it, even if you get like a 10% discount from this one. Every dollar counts, especially when it comes to shipping as well, you know. The other thing I find too is the shopping.

I'm sorry, flights. For me, flights. Everyone loves to say, we've got it from the airpoints. That's always the thing. Yeah, fly by. It's like, oh, you're going to Fiji? Yeah, you've got it from the airpoints.

That's if I never save up and pay for a holiday. Yeah, it's like, you can do that though, if you want to save up for that. Wow, that's okay. But that's always the Kiwi thing, right? It's, oh, I've got airpoints, I'm going to pay for one of the flights or something. Just to kind of, you know, put it in perspective.

Well, what I love is the discount mall, which is just near my house. Jeez, that's it. I've said to you many times, I was like, why is anyone paying full price for clothes when this mall is just there? Evan, you name a shop. Name a shop.

Okay, a Gucci. Gucci. Louis Vuitton. Glasses. Helen Sines. Name a shop that you think I'd want you to name. Name a shop that you think I'd want you to name. A Gucci. Louis Vuitton Glasses Helen's Signs Name a shop that you think I'd want you to name Name a shop that you think I'd Gucci

Name a shop You know what sort of shops I want you to name Prada Name them I've said Helen's Signs Helen's Signs General Pants No, name other ones

Other ones Where does he shop? Helen's Time Brothers Yeah, there we go Nike Yeah, well done Nike's one Yeah There we go General Pants? No, name other ones. Other ones. I think our side of the balance is there. Where does he shop? How does his side of the balance is there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There we go. Nike. Yeah, well done. Nike's one.

Yeah, there we go. You must love Chemist Warehouse then. Gosh, I love that place. Is that there too? Well, I don't know about your mall, but everything's so cheap when you're on the weekend. It's so great. But I think a lot of it's to do with branding as well. You feel like you're getting a bargain in a certain place.

With bright colours and discount and they've got bad font and stuff like that. You're like, this place must be giving me a discount. But a lot of times they're probably not. You know? Yeah, that's true. So anyway, that's the end of that. That was good. It was fun. It was fun. Tomorrow we'll find out the price of Ben

Humphrey's shit. Yeah, can't wait. Enjoy the podcast. Jono and Ben, just like family. The family members you're ashamed of. Jono and Ben on the hits. Great to be back here, isn't it? It's great to turn up to work with a fun job, you know? It is a fun job.

Yeah, we're very lucky to do it. Yeah, we are. It's a privilege. Really appreciate everyone tuning in this morning. On Friday, though, someone who did an amazing job was Dan Carter, All Black legend Dan Carter. Now, he was at Eden Park. He was doing 24 hours of kicking goals, raising money for charity, UNICEF,

and he was trying to kick 1,598 goals, which is the amount of points he scored for the All Blacks. Yeah, throughout his career. So we were invited to come down and run some – well, I didn't actually know what we had signed up for, All Blacks. Yeah, throughout his career. So we were invited to come down and run some, well, I didn't actually know what we had signed up for, to be honest. As we were walking in, I said to you, what are we required to do?

And you said, I don't know. No. As it turned out, we were required to run nonstop commentary on Sky, Sky Television. It was on a pop-up channel. It was on a live stream around the world. And yeah, yeah. So we were just tweaking.

I have no previous commentary experience. I'd like to front foot that. You didn't tell me what I was signing up for. I didn't know what we were signing up for. We were just going along to support Dan because it was an amazing thing he was doing. But you're right. When he was kicking, it was okay

because he'd commentate on his kicking or he could talk to Dan. We got some really cool stuff talking to Dan. It was great. He got some great stories. But then he'd go have his breaks, which were well earned for 15-20 minutes. And so it was us filling time

on the live stream with nothing to fill time on the live stream with. We'd come with prepared... We'd prepared nothing. And it's moments like these where you go, we're really not that good at this job. So here's a highlights package I understand you've compiled just for the yeah, this is stuff.

Just for the live stream. Yeah, so there was some great stuff. We've got some really great stories from Dan Carter. Can I just say that? About him when he almost played American football. We went ahead of trial. Got a great David Beckham story. But that's stuff that we won't play right now.

We'll play the stuff when we were flailing about, trying to pad out time while Dan was having a break. Come on down to Eden Park. Gate E. All are welcome. I own a rug doctor. It's amazing. Well, I didn't like hiring the one. So security guards, I reckon,

because they can't watch the game, I reckon you can put like a wee rear vision mirror on some sort of like contraption attached to the head. Everyone's welcome. Just come on down. Gate E. Eat the grass, Ben. Eat the Eden Park grass. If you I don't want to eat the grass.

Eat the Eden Park grass. I don't want to eat the grass. If you love rugby, you'll eat this grass. So I was paying a monthly direct debit fee to save these goddamn pandas, okay? Okay, we've just been told, don't come down. Don't come, apparently the public is not welcome. It's an invite only. Okay, we're sorry.

We may have said that once or twice. Yeah, we kept inviting people down. Now, Belle Crawford's with us today. So we invited people down, and then a lovely lady held up a wee sign. A panic sign. Don't invite people down. No one is welcome. No one is welcome.

I love it. One of my favourite moments was when you got a text. You go, oh, I got a text. And you're like, it's from producer Bee Hubs. And then you went, oh, he's not important right now and put it back in. Well, it was the live stream Behubs. I mean, I love you. I love you.

But, you know, who are you to the mainstream audience? They're like some guy reading out a text from his radio producer. Anyway, Dan Carter did a kick-a-thon. We did a talk-a-thon. Imagine how sore his legs were. Well, that's how sore our mouths were by the end of it. And I had sore buttocks. I only kicked seven balls. It was very sore buttocks.

He was kicking from the 22, which, you know, you're like, oh, that's quite close. It's not actually that close. It's quite hard to get the ball over from the 22. I think I was about one from nine kicks and Dan Carter did an amazing job. Listen, I know you have dreams and aspirations of being a commentator, Ben. Well, I think they all disappeared over a three-hour period there. And I don't know if we'll be invited back, but it was fun while it lasted. Yeah, well done to Dan Carter. Raised pretty much, I think, $300,000 or something.

It was incredible for UNICEF, so well done to him. Scrolling through your feed. CNN, BBC, Al Jazeera, Ben Boyce all provide news. Some do it better than others. We're not going to point out which do what. Here he is, We're scrolling. Yeah, so this week we're trying to make one of your bucket list dreams come true, Jono. We're trying to go and catch you your first fish.

We've got things organised to go out on Wednesday to go out on a fishing charter. And we'll tell you later on how you can win $1,000 and your own fishing charter. We're going out on the Seahawk. Yeah, which is pretty exciting. It's the coolest name for a boat ever. But then I heard this morning driving into work, weather experts are predicting that a cyclone may approach the North Island from the subtropics

on Tuesday, also on Wednesday, then basically leave on Thursday. There's heavy rain watch for 24 hours, strong winds in place, and this was on the news this morning. The North Island could be in for some wild weather this week. MetService says severe gales, heavy

rain, large waves and coastal inundation is on the cards from tomorrow. I don't even know what coastal inundation is, but it doesn't sound nice. It doesn't sound, so we'll just follow that. Do you get your deposit back on the charter? Because like, is it we'll just go out

strap ourselves in and hopefully not become a news story I don't know if that's their sort of attitude I feel like they're safety first so we'll see if it happens

if it doesn't happen on Wednesday then obviously we'll try and make it happen another day because we need to get you to catch a fish yeah we do

because we did also talk about the jetty as a backup option like a wharf yes but I don't think strong rains and winds are going to be the best conditions

for broadcasting radio from a jetty but I don't think strong rains and winds are going to be the best conditions for broadcasting radio from a jetty. But I don't know. We'll see. We'll let you guys know but at this stage if you text FISH to 4487

everyone that texts it will get $1,000 or someone could get $1,000 if you catch a fish. Yeah, and you're putting a time restraint on it like I've got an hour an hour to catch a fish

which just seems unnecessary. The time pressure seems the time and cash pressure seemed very unnecessary to me catching this fish so that was the potential bad news for you this week what's the good news the good news is the man who gave up washing his hair and using products such as shampoo and conditioner six years ago has credited the decision with stopping his hair loss so he's become big on tiktok and this is what he had to say so about six years ago my hair started receding and started coming out in clumps.

And one of my theories at the time was that it was the chemicals and things I was putting in my hair while I was washing and using traditional shampoo and conditioner. So what I decided to do was to stop using any of these products. And surprisingly, my hair got a lot healthier. Oh, okay. There you go, Phil Crawford. You've seen him. He's got a good head of hair, hasn't he? Oh, yeah. I watched the video. Is it luscious you go, Mel Crawford. You've seen him. He's got a good head here, hasn't he? Oh, yeah, I watched the video.

Is it luscious? Yeah, luscious locks. And they're calling it the poo movement, where you don't use shampoo. That's what it's called, yeah. I've never heard the branding. Hashtag poo movement. You also smell like it, too. Yeah, true.

So, yeah, that's probably the downside of it, isn't it? Yeah. You required me to shave my head over the weekend for something that we're meant to be doing today. So I shaved it. Don't say iron. I didn't mind it. You shaved your head. Get rid of those sideburns.

For something that we're meant to be filming today and now it's just been cancelled. And now I'm wandering around with a big shiny egghead for no reason. No reason. I feel it on me. I literally just done it, and then I get texts from people,

and it's like, oh, that thing's been canned. We're not doing it tomorrow. I'm like, what? You do look nice and clean shaven, don't you? I do. Very, like. Like an Olympic swimmer all over. Not an ounce of hair on him.

Well, I'm guessing. I haven't seen everything. Trust me, there is an ounce of hair. I went full method. That is scrolling through your feed. Just getting any bits of advice before we head out on Wednesday to hopefully catch my debut fish. Oh, jet ski fishing.

Oh. I've never driven a jet ski. That's on my bucket list. That looks like a lot of fun. Oh, well, jet ski fishing's really late. Or jet ski fishing. Oh. Yeah. I've never driven a jet ski. That's on my bucket list. That looks like a lot of fun. Oh, well, we can do both. Yeah, I don't think you're cool enough to ride a jet ski, Ben. Am I not? No.

Do you reckon he could straddle a jet ski, Aaron? What do you think? Oh, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. You just said, moments ago, you just said you'd take us out. Now you're like, oh, I don't know, actually. Jono raises a good point. You've got to have a certain level of credibility on a jet ski, don't you, Aaron?

Yeah, that's true. The thing is, if he's on the back, he's just going to be hugging your waist tight and having his head pressed against the back of your neck. Slow down, slow down. That's what I do. But anyway, Aaron, what's happened to you fishing? Oh, it wasn't me. It was actually my brother, and he's got this knack of going down the local wharf where we launch all our boats and that and he can actually catch John Dorey

by just getting out in the water and then just kind of hurling them up the boat ramp so they run out of water and then they just start flapping and fresh air up on the boat ramp. He's got a video of it, he's actually videoed him doing it. So not even a line, no hook, no nothing? No line, no hook, no nothing. No line, no hook,

no nothing. He just sees it in the water, walks out behind it and then just sort of skis it up onto the boat ramp and flops around and he grabs it. So he's herding

the fish like sheep sort of thing. Yeah, man. That's incredible. Pretty much. Yeah, well, I mean, there's a huge advantage

it saves you on rod and reel costs. Bait. They don't even need a boat. He doesn't even go out on your jet ski with you. Yeah, nah. Nah, I wouldn't take him out. That's funny.

Well, we'll get that date between you and Ben to go on the jet ski. Yeah, you can come out. I'll take him out. Thank you very much for your time. Have a good time in New Plymouth, mate. All right, lad. There you go, Aaron. There we go.

Tales from the ocean this Wednesday. Going out on a tropical cyclone to catch some fish. Well, yeah. We're knocking off my bucket list, Aaron. There we go. Tales from the ocean. This Wednesday, going out on a tropical cyclone to catch some fish. We're knocking off my bucket list, Ben. We hopefully are. We're hopefully heading out this week for you to do that. Never caught a fish before. We actually got a call. Alvera phoned her through on Friday.

Have a listen to this. Now, she was 13 years old when this shark attack happened. Have a listen. I got attacked by a shark. You got attacked by a shark? Oh, my goodness. How long ago was this? In January.

Oh, so it was just this year? Yeah. It hit me on my shoulder, well, back, on my arm. The man that was there, he was a fisherman, and he said it was like seven foot. Oh, my goodness. So the guy witnessed it? Yeah, he's the kind of one that got me out.

Oh, so he dragged you to safety. Pretty full on. She was sort of getting up out of the water. The shark was still attached to her arm. Still hanging off her. Yeah. Crazy story. Some of these stories we want to hear, some we don't want to hear

if we're heading out to the ocean this week. But if you want to win $1,000 a win when Jono, let's say when you catch a fish, everyone that texts fish, F-I-S-H to 4487, you'll go on the draw to win $1,000. And also, for four people to go aboard

the Seahawk and do your own fishing, be part of a fishing charter, which is pretty awesome. It's quite handy too if we have broadcast equipment on the boat in the cyclone because we can be like,

mayday, mayday, you know, save us. People can hear us drowning. People can hear the boat going we like the tide but imagine doing a live ob on the titanic when it was going down it's all thanks to seahawk.co.nz we don't know if we'll be out on wednesday we'll see but you're right it might be some champagne broadcasting for the two of us tested safe for listing from home john owen ben on the hits It's becoming a bit of a tradition on the show I got you onto these motivational Instagram things And then I've kind of lost the motivation for them

But Jono you're keeping it up on a Monday It's motivational Monday Are you no longer watching inspirational? I am but just when it gets fed to me I'm not delving deep into them like I was at the start Getting all inspired and telling you that there's no off button you've got to keep working every day yeah yeah there's i saw one over the weekend uh some guy squatting in some hot pants and he was like there's no elevator to the

top you just got to take the stairs and he was like squatting a car or something i was like wow that's damn that, that's motivation. Now, today we have for Motivational Monday. This is what we like to do on a Monday is try and give you guys a bit of motivation heading into the week. And us too. We all need it. Pep in the step. It reminds me of Oprah back in the day.

She had her motivational years, didn't she? On her show. And Ellen, PB, pre-bullying Ellen. She also did the same. But today I've got a quote. I've got a quote from someone. Why are you laughing so much? I haven't heard the quote today.

I've got a quote from someone, truly inspirational, completely blemish-free career, from Will Smith. Oh, okay. Now, Will Smith, very motivational guy. I read his book while I was reading his book and it was full of some really, really good stories. Then I read his book While I was reading his book And it was like

Full of some really Really good stories Then you put his book down I did I had a wee break Me and Will Were having a wee break After that

Now if you just erase The fact that he Slapped a man on the face On live television Take that out of your head And listen to this motivation It's difficult to take The first step

When you look how big Yeah The task is The task is never huge to me. You don't set out to build a wall. You don't say, I want to build the biggest, baddest, greatest wall that's ever been built. You don't start there. You say, I'm going to lay this brick as perfectly as a brick can be laid. There will not be one brick on the face of the earth that's going to be laid better than this brick that I'm going to lay in this next 10 minutes.

And you do that every single day. And soon you have a wall. And soon you have a wall. That's the story. Great quote. I was telling you that story from the book. Yeah. That's him telling it.

Because when he was little, him and his brother, his dad made them build this massive wall full of bricks by bricks by bricks. It took them basically years to do this thing. And they're like, we can't do it. We're going to give up. So many times through terrible weather. And his dad was like, don't worry about the end.

Just worry about laying one brick. All you do is lay one brick. And then once you lay that one brick, then lay another brick. Just think about the one brick. And that was the whole thing through good or bad. And everything happened in his life, including now. He'd just worry about laying lay another brick. Just think about the one brick. And that was the whole thing, through good or bad, and everything happened in his life, including now, he'd just worry about laying the next brick. Well, that's great. I mean, it'll be great for rebuilding

his career, too. That he's got those skills. The brick-laying skills. So there you go, Motivational Monday. One brick at a time. Belle, what's the latest news on Will Smith? He was obviously big stuff over the weekend. Yeah, they made a decision that he is banned from the Oscars

and any other Academy sort of ceremony, any sort of event for 10 years. Wow, 10 years. So both Will Smith and myself won't be attending the Academy Awards

for the next 10 years. So we've got something in common. Yeah. Spy. Know what's up. Spy.co.nz Here's Belle Crawford about to hang out

in the washing and bring these celebs down a peg or two. It's going down, Belle. Benefit 2.0, they're engaged again, 20 years on since their first one. It's 20 years. Yeah, I look back on their timeline, and, you know, they've been through a lot.

They've bought a mansion, and now they're engaged. And the ring, oh, you should see it. I'm going to send you the link so you can have a look. Did they, we'll put it up on our, can we put it up on the Hits Insta? Were they married previously or just engaged? No, so they got engaged and then they called off their wedding. And then after that, they broke up. So they never got married.

Could he just dust off that ring and re-gift? Like surely it's got the same sentiment. That was still a very nice ring. It was a pink diamond, gorgeous, quite big. At the time, she said it was the most magnificent ring. I can't speak. A magnificent ring. I can't talk.

I can't say that word. But the best thing she'd ever seen, basically. And this ring, well, this is a step up. He's got a bit more money now. It's an 8.5 carat natural green diamond, which are very rare. And a diamond expert has said it could be worth between $5 and $10 million. Is it a blood diamond? I like the blood diamonds.

It's not a blood diamond. No. Jenny from The Rock. Jesus, a huge rock on her finger. Yeah. And green is her lucky color, so it is quite special. She actually shared the news with a bit of an announcement on her website. She's got this fan mail.

So I have a really exciting and special story to share. But if you want to hear the rest of the story, you've got to go to her thing. That's all she's shared for us. Oh, that's all? Is that it? Yeah. You've got to go sign up to her fan mail.

So she had six engagement rings? Yep. There's a gallery of them. I'm going to send it on to you and I'm going to get asked to put it up at thehits.co.nz so you can see it as well.

Has anyone been engaged more than J-Lo? Yeah. Can we find anyone right now on 0800-THE-HITS-4487? You can text. I would even take multiple engagement rings.

You know, have you had three or four engagement rings? It's still an interesting story to tell, right?7. You can text. I would even take multiple engagement rings. You know, have you had three or four engagement rings? It's still an interesting story to tell, right? Yeah. Hey, we're not going to judge this on Monday morning. We'll take whatever. If you've got a mouth, can you say words out of it? We'll put you on the radio.

4487. Yeah, that's interesting. The annoying ones talking between the songs. Jono and Ben on the hits. Dancing with the Stars is back in a couple of weeks and a couple of new judges on the show camilla returns alongside lance savalli you know from treasure on celebrity treasure island also dance with so many stars like j-lo and usher and also from rupal's drag race so you got choreographer and dance uh drag artist james luck also known. Yeah, it's going to be a sea of sequins and spray tan on Dancing With The Stars.

And James joins us on New Zealand's Breakfast Now. How are you? Good. I've been at home with COVID for the last couple of weeks, so I've come to the tail end of that. But not too bad. Well, yeah, we had it, both John and I had it at the same time as well. So yes, we do COVID together as well.

But yeah, you're okay now? You're all good? Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday was my sort of big three days of it. And then now I've just got a little tickle in my throat and a bit knackered. But otherwise, I'm all good. Yeah, and now you're super immune. Yeah. I'm not sure how that works.

Am I meant to be sort of super human for the next three months? Yeah, listen, no one really knows how it works. Everyone keeps saying you're're right for three months. Do we all know? Who knows? Who knows? Well, we do know Dancing with the Stars is coming back, and you're one of the judges. That's very exciting. I am indeed. Quite the task.

Well, this is the first time I think we've actually spoken to you as James, because normally we speak to you when you're at Electric Shot. I'm at home in fishnets, a full wig and heels. That's like the prep time on Electric Shot compared to the prep time on James. It must be a dream. It is a dream. It is a dream. A lot less work.

No, because obviously people know you are from RuPaul's Drag Race and many other things as well, but you've got a really long dancing background as well. Yeah, dancing was definitely the world that I came from before I fell into drag. Dancing for Jessie J and Sia and Elton John and some really great names over in the UK. All that sort of stuff lent itself to making my drag what it is now, this sort of dancing drag queen beaver character. That's awesome.

So how did that all work out? You're back up dancing Elton John, little mix over there as well. Sia, these are character. That's awesome. So how did that all work out? You're, what, backup dancing out in John, little mix over there as well. So yeah, that's incredible. Yeah, from a very young age, I grew up in Invercargill, went to Southam Boys High School, and that was sort of no place for a young dancing queen to be. So I jumped on a plane out of there to Australia and started training and working with people over there. And from there, I went to the UK and they loved me over there. They put me in as much as I possibly could.

And I was lucky enough to work on cruise ships and do things like the Olympics and stuff like that. That gave me some fantastic credits on my CV. Yeah. And so, you know, you're performing, you know, backup dancing for Sia or Jessie J or something. Do they talk to you? No, it depends. It varies. So like Elton John, for example, I was one of many, many dancers, backup dancing for them.

So I never really got to meet them. But Jessie J would have a chat with you and Sia would have a chat with you. Now you're saying you dance with Little Mix. Now I took my daughters to the Little Mix concert and we made a sign, I heart Little Mix but then midway through the concert they didn't want to hold the sign anymore so then I was a fully grown adult

holding up an I heart Little Mix sign. Now Jono mocks me for this to this day but is it okay? Like I feel like it's okay, right? I think that's totally fine. Like just it's time to come out as a full Little Mix supporter. Yeah, I know. We love it.

My concern for Ben was just more for him, like the audience at the Little Mix to be like, oh, there's a fully grown man with a glittery iHeart Little Mix sign. Singing shout out to my ex at the top of his voice. I was loving that. I was in my happy place. It was fun. Now, Nate, you obviously got given your name.

Now, we had apparently some homework for you to come up with a name for the two of us. You know, Jono, Ben, if we were going to do Drag Gear, anything would pop into your head if what would be our name? Yeah, I've been thinking about this and look, Jono, I reckon you'd be like

Fonda Cox Fonda Cox? I like Fonda Cox Fonda Cox It's got a great ring to it I'll take Fonda Cox for pride Yeah, okay And then a bit of a chance, man

like a Roxanne like a Roxanne, like a Roxanne paper scissors. Oh, Roxanne paper, the puns. Oh, I love it, I love it. Roxanne paper scissors. Love it. Hey all, James, congratulations being lined up on the panel of the judges of Dancing With The Stars. I'm sure you're going to do a fantastic job.

Looking forward to it kicking off on three. And thank you very much for your time this morning. Thank you very much for having me, boys. Good to chat to you again. It's James Lark, also known as Electra Shock, one of the new judges on Dancing with the Stars. Very exciting. Yeah, very exciting with Vonda Cox and Roxanne Paper Scissors

in your Monday morning. Morning. Contained stodgy parenting advice. Shono and Ben on the hits. We're talking kids' birthday parties. A lot can go on, good and bad, at a kids' birthday parties. A lot can go on, good and bad, at a kids' birthday party. Yeah, the magician. I mean, you must take your hat off to the humble magician

who's out there. They're on the battle lines, aren't they? They're on the battlefronts every weekend. Clowns as well, people in costume. All of the entertainers. I remember Oscar, my son, he had been to a party previous and then the magician turned up at another party So Oscar knew all of his act

He knew what was coming up And boy did he make it known He just heckled And you can't negotiate with a seven then He wasn't having any bar of it He was like, the ace card's behind his ear. You know, he's going to pull the, the gerbil's going to be coming out of the hat

very shortly. Like just, you could tell the magician wanted to make him magically disappear through the whole thing. So 0800 the hits. 4487, great text here. We had a mobile farm come over

to my cousin's birthday party when we were younger and the donkey started mounting the goat. Okay. In front of the whole party. So 0800 the hits telephone number. Ruth, how are you? Yeah, I'm not too bad. How are you guys? Let's talk kids' birthdays.

What happened? Yeah, so we were at my son's best friend's birthday party. Yeah. And we were at my son's best friend's birthday party and we were at a roller skating rink. I think it's the same one you guys did your roller derby debut at. Oh, yeah, we know the one.

On Glenfield. Yep, derby on Glenfield. So, yeah, they were doing some roller skating and my husband said don't do it, don't do it and put the roller skates on. You can't tell me what to do. You're not the boss of me.

Well, it's my husband's fault. That's the reason, because then what he does is he thinks he's really funny, pulls his phone out, says to all the parents, I'm going to have 111 on speed dial because she's going to fall over. Next minute, I did exactly that because he put the calmer in there. Ruth falls over. Now, you know, the roller rink's a dangerous environment, isn't it, for any adult? Kids are a lot better.

They're closer to the ground, you know. I was trying to save a child. Oh, really? Yes. So I kind of went to help a kid out, and I kind of went forward. And the story gets better because I was protecting my hand because I'd been attacked. You can sort of lock your kids in the playground while you sort of wander around in a daze looking for stuff. I feel like it's just a cage of kids whose parents are orphaned kids whose parents are lost inside a giant Bunnings.

Yeah, but I didn't know they do birthday parties as well at Bunnings. Ideal location for a birthday party, isn't it? Have the cake, play with some power tools, kids. Get a petrol line trimmer out there. But I didn't even know it was a thing. Do you get to eat the charity sausages out the front? Is that the cuisine?

Maybe that's catering. The fundraising sausages. But it seems like the perfect location where, oh, you can dump the kids off and then go and do what you need to do. Like, can you just dump kids at Bunnings and go to work, come back?

Because they're all locked in there. No, I don't think so. It's like a gate. I think you're meant to keep an eye, as a responsible parent, I think you're meant to keep an eye on your kids. Well, there were no responsible parents yesterday. I'll tell you that.

Would you love a birthday party at Bunnings? Me? Jono and Ben. We're talking kids' birthday parties. A lot can go on, good and bad, at a kids' birthday party. Yeah, the magician. I mean, you must take your hat off to the humble magician who's out there.

They're on the battle lines, aren't they? They're on the battlefronts every weekend. Clowns as well, people in costume. All of the entertainers. I remember Oscar, my son, he had been to a party previous and then the magician turned up at another party. So Oscar knew all of his act. He knew what was coming up and, boy, did he make it known.

He just heckled. You can't negotiate with with it when he was seven then he wasn't having any bar of it he's like oh it's but the ace cards behind his ear you know he's gonna pull the the the gerbil's gonna be coming out of the hat very shortly like just you could tell the magician wanted to make him magically disappear through the whole thing so oh 0800 the hits. 4487, great text here. We had a mobile farm come over to my cousin's birthday party when we were younger, and the donkey started mounting the goat.

Okay. In front of the whole party. So 0800 the hits, telephone number. Ruth, how are you? Yeah, I'm not too bad. How are you guys? Let's talk kids birthdays. What happened? Um, yeah. So, we were

at my son's best friend's birthday party. Yeah. And we were at a roller skating rink. I think it's the same one you guys did your roller derby debut at. Oh, yeah. On Glenfield. Yep. Yeah, gotcha. Yep. So, um, yeah, they were doing one. On Glenfield. Yeah. Yep. Yeah, gotcha. Glenfield. Yep.

So, yeah, they were doing some roller skating, and my husband said, don't do it, don't do it, and put the roller skates on. You can't tell me what to do. You're not the boss of me. Well, it's my husband's fault. That's the reason, because then what he does is he thinks he's really funny, pulls his phone out, says to all the parents,

I'm going to have 111 on speed dial because she's going to fall over. Next minute, I did exactly that. Because he put the karma in there. Ruth falls over. Now, you know, the roller rink's a dangerous environment, isn't it, for any adult? Kids are a lot better. They're closer to the ground, you know. I was trying to save a child.

Oh, really? Yes. So I kind of went to help a kid out and I kind of went forward and the story gets better because I was protecting my hand because I'd been attacked by

a pit bull the year prior. Oh, jeez. But it didn't work. I fell down. And yeah, the wrist didn't look good. Oh, did you break your wrist? Oh, I absolutely shattered it. I've down. Yeah. And, yeah, the wrist didn't look good. Oh, did you break your wrist? Oh, I absolutely shattered it. I've had four surgeries. Four surgeries.

Oh. Did you miss cake? Yeah. Did you like, you know, are you out of there before cake or is this after cake? It was after cake. Love it. Ruth, you have a great day. You too.

Thanks for that. See you, mate. Liz, good morning. Morning. What happened at the kids' birthday? Well, my son, he's never really ridden a bike before, so I wasn't really watching, and he turned up and tried biking and biked into the food table

and put everything down. Oh, no. Head first into the food table. Absolutely everything down. Oh, no. Head first into the food table. Absolutely everything, the cake and everything. Yeah. I mean, high-risk situations, high-risk, volatile, unpredictable. The other thing I do appreciate about the kids' birthday party is having to negotiate with the children to leave the party.

Like, it reminds me of the police trying to remove the protesters from Parliament. Except more violent, doesn't it? Yeah, much more violent, yes. And so were there any injuries? No, just pride, I guess. Just pride. Or a lot of tears. By not just my son, by everyone.

Everyone's crying. That's the way most birthday parties end for a kid, right? I appreciate that. Liz, you have a great day. Yeah, you too. Thanks. And your last birthday party too, Ben. We all started crying. Liz Lanty, you're right. Coming up very shortly, New Zealand's first man of fishing, Clark Gafer joins us, and

hopefully he'll have some advice for Jono on how he can catch his first fish and how you guys can win $1,000. It is The Hits. Now, we're trying to tick items this year off your bucket list and our bucket list. An item on Jono's bucket list is to catch his first fish. And thanks to Seahawk

charters, we're going out, all going well on Wednesday and you'll catch a fish and if you do, someone will win $1,000. Anyone that ticks fish to 4487 goes in the draw and also can win four people on board a Seahawk fishing charter as well. What if I don't catch the fish? We don't give away the money, we don't give away the charter,

and it's just a quiet boat ride back to the shore. We're getting some experts to help you out this week, and one joins us right now, of course, the first man of fishing. Clark Gayford, welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. It was very formal. It was hesitant. Nice to have you here, Clark, because. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. It was very formal.

It was hesitant. Nice to have you here, Clark, because we need some advice. Jono has never caught a fish before, and this week we want to change that. Do you have any advice you can pass on to him? I'm really struggling with this, Jono. When I think of all your activities over the years that have involved the water. Yes. Including you headed across Lake Taupo on an inflatable bouncy castle

at some point. You didn't seem to throw a line out at that. We did. We cheated it too. We bought one. Someone had caught one previously and we attached it just for TV purposes just to keep it rolling. I don't know if you've ever done that on your TV show.

Do you ever buy a fish and then just hook it onto a line and then pretend you've caught it? No, I can't say I've ever done that. No. No, so no, I've never done it. And so we're knocking it off the bucket list. And it was just advice. Have we got any tips, Clark?

Well, where to start, Jono? I mean, are you after a trophy fish? Are you after something small? Or, I mean, you just want to get on the board? What are your goals? I just want to catch Nemo, find Nemo, catch him, I mean, will you just want to get on the board? What are your goals? I just want to get, I want to catch Nemo, find Nemo, catch him, catch her, and then put Nemo back in the ocean. Okay, well, look, here's the thing.

You've rung at a good time, actually, because it's one of my favourite times of year to fish now. So the fish go through these various stages. As you're heading into spring, all of the snapper get excited when the water hits about 18 degrees, and that's when they come into spawn and go bananas, and that's when they're really easy to catch. And then they go a bit quiet and lethargic over peak summer.

But now, now's a good time to go out, mate, because as that water starts to get colder, it triggers another feeding cycle because they want to put on fat before winter. So you've got good opportunity right now to catch a really nice table snapper. Now, that is great advice, actually. Great advice. Now, I don't want to talk down what you do for a career, Clark, but, you know. Sounds like somebody's about to talk down what you do.

Stones glass houses with us, obviously. But do you have a hard time convincing Jacinda that flying around the world fishing is an actual job? Oh, look, where to begin? I mean, the worst part is that you go away fishing for work, and then when you come home and it's like five-and-a-half variables and a nice-looking day and you know the fish are biting, and you go, well, can I just pop out? And she was like, but you've just been away fishing.

And I'm like, yeah, but that was work fishing. And now I want to go, it's my fishing. And she's like, but you've just been fishing. And I'm like, yeah, but that's not. Yeah, because your first date wasn't, didn't you take her out fishing, which is a big risk, a high risk, high reward. And it was, look, and the Hauraki Gulf is an absolute jewel in the crown of not only Auckland, but New Zealand.

And it was one of those days that just went absolutely dead flat. Her first cast, she caught a 12-pound snapper. And then we had, not only had dolphins turn up, we had a whale show up. Oh, wow. And then she caught a 12 pound snapper uh and then and then we had a not only a dolphin's turnout we had a whale show up oh wow and then she caught a massive john dory and she's like is this good and i'm like yeah yeah it's always like this so so johnno you've obviously never been on tinder then either i've got well my marriage kind of gets in the way of that well i mean because every every New Zealand bloke seems to be on Tinder with a picture of a pic.

And I imagine you'd be struggling. Well, there we go. We can catch a fish this week. You can get your new Tinder profile pic. It'll be a great way to see it. Wonderful. Start off a new dating career. Oh, Clark, really appreciate your tips there.

It's a good time to get out there. The fish are respawning. They're cold. The snapper are feeding, doing stuff, and I'm going to catch one on Wednesday. All going well, mate. Thank you for your time. Johnny, you just hook yourself up a little soft bait,

get yourself on that little boat, and start flicking it around everywhere, and who knows what will happen. Okay. I think that was advice. I'm not sure. Clark, I appreciate your time, buddy. Scrolling through your feed.

Hand you over now to the only newsreader with a degree in prankology. Ben Boyce, what's happening, mate? Well, it is a short week this week with the Easter holiday happening for many of us, but the weather's not looking good over the next couple of days, which puts a bit of a question mark on our fishing trip. First time I've ever said that. I've never had a fishing trip planned.

Two guys who don't have any place being on a fishing trip. It's us two. Wednesday morning we're broadcasting it live. But yes, it does put a bit of a question mark on it. But do we plough on? Nothing's coming through for the show at the moment. So many things we're trying to do. Poor Bee Humps is organising stuff.

All weekend he's out organising stuff and none of it's coming off. We need a wind, Ben. And if it means going out in torrential 50-foot waves to catch a fish for the radio, then that's what we'll do. Well, here is the weather. Well, here was on the news this morning as I was driving into work. Have a listen. The North Island could be in for some wild weather this week.

MetService says severe gales, heavy rain, large waves, and coastal inundation is on the cards from tomorrow. That doesn't sound like ideal fishing conditions. No, I don't know what coastal inundation is on the cards from tomorrow. That doesn't sound like ideal fishing conditions. No, I don't know what coastal inundation is, but it sounds frightening. But we need to plough on. We just need to do stuff. You know, we need to get out and do stuff. Forget COVID, the pandemic.

If it's not the pandemic, it's waves holding us back. And Brooklyn Beckham got married over the weekend. Of course, he is the child of Victoria. David Beckham got married to his now wife, Nicola Peltz, at her family's $100 million estate in Palm Beach in Florida. So how cool was that? Melanie C. was there, Serena Williams, Eva Longoria as well, and they signed a massive prenup agreement,

a $494 million fortune is what their family. It's a very wealthy family. Yeah. Her family, I mean, his family's wealthy as well, right? Yeah, is he mooching off her?

What's going on? He's mooching. Yeah, he's mooching off Mel. She's from a richer family, would you believe it? She's a heiress and her father is a financier

and $1.6 billion they're worth, so yeah. And now he's also added her name which is pretty cool to his now. So nice. I bet he is. So it's Peltz and then Beckham at the end. He hasn't taken Beckham away but he's added him there. But Peltz has come first.

Yeah. Mate drop Beckham. My dad Kevin Boyce is not invited. He has punished Brooklyn Beckham with a chat before. They bumped into each other at like a Denny's or something in America. It was a nicer place, I think, than a Denny's. A Denny's is fine, but I think it was somewhere in LA. He didn't even know who he was.

He was just having dinner when my dad went to America and someone went, that's Brooklyn Beckham. Now your dad was on a boomer tour of America. You know, the ones that go around on a bus. There's about 40 of them. They're a nightmare en masse. And then my dad decided for some reason to go talk to Brooklyn Beckham. And poor Brooklyn

put up with him for a long time. They got a photo together. They talked. Jesus. And he was probably in a situation where he couldn't leave because he was at the restaurant as well. And my dad just kept punishing him. What did they talk about? What did your dad have to say to Brooklyn Beckham? We'll fight tomorrow. We'll call my dad tomorrow.

What was the conversation like? And was Peltz there? I don't know. Was Peltz having dinner with him? I think this was before Peltz. But hey, I don't know. Yeah. From a personal,

he didn't even know who he was and then he ended up talking for so long, got a photo and everything. Yeah. Yeah, Kevin Boyce does love a conversation even with Brooklyn Beckham.

Yeah. And Brooklyn Beckham sounded like he was polite enough to continue on the conference. But I know once you're in the trenches with Kevin Boyce, you're in for the long haul. And that is scrolling to your feed this morning. Five words for 5K. You're just five words away from $5,000.

It is our game of word association. We play it every morning. We give you five words. You tell us what pops into your head after those five words. If they all match up when we play it, you win $5,000. This part of the show really got the capacity to bring great joy, but also great disappointment. And it does more often than not disappoint,

but we'll get Nicola on and hopefully not disappoint you and the Manawatu, Nicola. Hopefully. I'm looking forward to this. What are you going to spend this money on? Let's just say you've won it. What are you spending it on? Towards a new house that we're looking at building.

So it'll be a good start. Okay, and also if you do win this cash, we take it as a legally binding contract that you'll say nothing but favourable things about Ben and me for the remainder of your life, okay? Oh, absolutely. Even on your deathbed, I want you to go, I've got one last thing to say. John, I'm being great, guys, okay? That's the... That's the condition, absolutely. Even on your deathbed, I want you to go, I've got one last thing to say.

John, I'm being great, guys, okay? That's the condition, yeah. All right, okay, Nicola, who are you going to send into the soundproof booth this morning, matey? Ben. Ben, he's off into our renovated soundproof booth. He's got some good indoor-outdoor flow, that one, as he shuts the outdoor now,

and he's locked in with not much airflow in there, so hopefully he makes it through. Nicola, let's do this. First word that comes into your head when I say to you, Affleck. Ben. Easy one, first off. Pepperoni's the second word this morning for you, Nicola. Pizza.

Bubble. Bath. Great game. Pizza. Bubble. Bus. Great game. Tire is the fourth word. T-Y-R-E. Tire. Car. Car, that's what I would have looked.

Do you know I've got all four words I've matched with you so far? Damn, I should have picked you. Should have been me in there, but it's been boys. And foundation was the fifth one for you this morning, Nick. Foundation. Oh, foundation. You have a house foundation. Foundation.

There's also the make-up too, isn't there? Oh, there is too. Yeah. Hey, but hey, far be it from me, Nicola. I've put words in people's mouths before and it hasn't come off well. Oh, I know. What if it was house? No, I'm going to go make-up.

Oh, don't do that. Now it's on me. Now it's on me. All right. Those are your five words. We'll don't do that. Now it's on me. Now it's on me. All right. Those are your five words. We'll release Ben from the soundproof booth. Thank you. Oh, God, Ben.

I put some words in her mouth. I shouldn't have put words in her mouth. Now I feel pressure that if you don't say the same words that... Anyway. Let's do it, eh? All right, here we go. Yep, let's do it. here we go yep let's do it when you're $5,000

Ben the first word is Affleck Ben bingo bongo it's good when you said Ben before that and then you said Affleck keep saying

that beforehand it's really handy to say the word pepperoni pizza that's what Nicola got that means you're two from two and the money were two.

Okay, that's good. Bubble. Bath. Bubble gum? Bubble gum, but a bath. It looks like a bath. Now this is the crunch time. Two to go.

Two away from $5,000. Tire. T-Y-R-E. Wheel? Oh. Nick went car tyre. Oh, yes. Car tyre's good.

And the fifth word was foundation. Makeup? Ooh. Four out of five. Oh, Nicola. Oh, look, that was better than last time, so I'll keep trying. Sorry, Nicola. Did you play previously?

What did you get? I think last time I only got two or three. Oh, we're really close there. We're very close. Well, next time we might as well write that check out for you because you're going to get five out of five. Hey, you're going to have a great week in Palmy, eh? Love your work.

I will do. Thanks so much. We've got John O'Neill coming up very shortly. Your neighbour doesn't do something very unusual. Oh, sorry. Yes, I didn't tell you about this. That's why you sound like you're fumbling around with this tease at the moment. Yes, my neighbour's admitted something that he hasn't done for about 10 years.

10 years? And I'll tell you what it is next. Sorry, Ben, I should have taken that. I should have taken that tease. It was my bad, mate. That's all right.

It's the hits. You've got Anne-Marie, Noel Horan, Cleveland Mac remix. Can you hear me calling out your name? You know that I'm falling and I don't know

what to say. Two semi-competent dads handing out semi-competent parenting advice. Jono and Ben on the hits. Do you know, I found out something about my neighbour across the road that for 10 years he's never locked his car. He leaves the keys in the ignition.

Keys in the ignition? Granted it's not parked on the street, it's sitting in the driveway though, but it's an open driveway, there's no gate or anything. Keys in the ignition because he said most mornings he'd be like, where's my keys? Where's my keys?

I don't know where my keys are. So if he leaves them in the ignition, 100% of the time he knows where the keys are. And the burglars as well will know where they are too. But it's never been stolen. The car's never been stolen.

Because you hear about, you know, a lot of small people live in small town New Zealand who lock houses and things like that. But, you know, and lock cars. But I live in small town New Zealand that won't lock houses and things like that, but, you know, and lock cars. But I wouldn't...

Very blase approach to automobile security, I find that, leaving the cars in there. Like, there's no... Like, sure, maybe that's why it hasn't been stolen, because the car thieves are like, well, I like a little bit of a challenge, mate, you know? Don't just... Don't leave it unlocked with the keys in there. Really interesting. Have you had a car stolen previously, Ben?

No, I haven't had a car stolen, but no. Have you? Never had a car stolen. Someone tried to get one out your driveway and you stopped them, right? That's right. Yeah, I was telling you last week. And they got three quarters of the way through and then they gave up. And I went out to see what was happening.

It was the middle of the night and they kind of drove up. And they looked out of their car that they were in and they said, Sorry Bowl. which was lovely. It was lovely, I apologise. Touching the sorry bowl. At the time I thought I've had my car stolen, but then I haven't just found it somewhere else in the mall car park. We're like, I can't find it, it's gone.

There is no more confusing place than the car park we park at work. It's like a labyrinth, this car park. It's underneath the casino. And it's to the point where every floor looks the same. They're all identical. You could spend probably nine days in there looking for your car. And not find it. Still not find it.

So I'm like, I can't find the car, so I just go back to playing the pokies. You had your car stolen, Belle? No, touch wood. But no, I haven't. There's been quite a few cars. I've had two friends who had their cars stolen last week in Auckland. They don't even report the police don't even investigate them now.

Do they? Really? I just don't think they have enough time. The poor police have got other stuff they need to do. There was one that was outside my house a couple of months ago, remember? And it was still running. The car was still running and so we called the police and the police turned up and they're like, usually we wouldn't even turn up to this. But they had come. They'd come into the street with a stolen car

and here bell this is what he did so there's a car in the street stolen car he saw a hoodie in the back yeah the stolen car because the windows were open a nike hoodie and he picked it up and he put it up against his like his body just to check if it would fit. Well I was like, well And your fingerprints are all through the car. Yeah, my son told me that after the fact too. Your son had to tell you

not to do that. Well I'd already done it. He said after the fact. Like if he had told me before, don't do that. Well you wouldn't have thought Dad's going to see a hoodie at the back and think what size is that? a medium or a large? It was a Nike hoodie. It was a large one. Would have fit, too.

Bloody old Oscar wouldn't let me steal it, though. But, you know, they came into the street with a stolen car, got out of that stolen car, then stole another car and left their hoodie behind. Could have been mine. After 8 o'clock on on the show stick around. Belle, you told us a story after the radio show on Friday about how you met your partner over a dating app and what

the Levinx he went to. I was tricked. You were tricked. Yeah, you were tricked. And I was tricked into touching a stolen hoodie. No, that was all on you. We'll get to that. How these things happen. Four minutes. You've got Jono and Ben. If you're a guy here For romantic advice

You are in serious trouble Jono and Ben On the hits There's Taylor Swift Her childhood home They rented when she was a child Up for grabs You can buy it at the moment

In Pennsylvania Five bedrooms Just under a million dollars American. Oh, what are we doing? Yeah. It looks lovely. Well, we should give it away.

Give away Taylor Swift's childhood home. Crowdfund, buy it, give it away. We need a million American dollars. Yeah, and a visa residency for the United States as well. There's a few hoops

to jump through, but we can pull off that promo. Now, Belle Crawford, who's working with us at the moment, doing a wonderful job, Belle. Oh, thanks. Thanks for having me, guys.

It's fun. I wasn't happy here. Any time, mate. But you're getting paid to be here, right? Yeah. You're not here volunteering. I thought she really just wanted that. No.

I do. I do want to hang out with you guys as well. Generally, people who hang out with us have to be paid to do it, Ben. I gather that now. Yeah. But, Belle, you shared a story because you've got be paid to do it. I gather that now. Yeah. But Belle, you shared a story because you've got a partner at the moment, boyfriend at the moment.

Yeah. A great thing he did on his dating profile. Yeah, I can't remember what we were talking about. There was something about dating apps we saw and I said, oh, sorry, I met him on Bumble. Great app to use. Probably one of my recommended ones. Is that like an alternative to Tinder, is it?

Yeah, so there's Tinder, Bumble and Hinge. Hinge is quite cool as well. That's a newer one. You find out a bit more about the person ones it was like is that like uh an alternative to tinder is it tinder bumble and hinge hinge is quite cool as well that's a newer one you find out a bit more about the person because you've got to write different like facts and things about you do you love how ben's like oh i haven't heard i wasn't meaning like i'm on any of these no of course not you're both happily married dedicated men so uh no so i met him on a bumble and i found out after the fact because you know you've got to have different photos to go through and write a little bio about yourself he told me way down once he had you know locked me in kind of thing unless it probably could have been a bit risky that he and his best mate went out and did a photo shoot on the same day for all these photos so all the

photos he put on the app were kind of staged. Yeah, so he staged them. So one of them, he loves playing golf, so they were playing golf in one of them. And then he was having a coffee by the beach, and that was another one. They just literally drove around the city doing these photos. So he's the image of the all-round person.

Yeah, I know. He's one of a dog, right? Yeah, and I think this was on a different day, but still, the rest of them were all the same day and they had different outfits. They took them in the car with them and everything, had a coffee as a prop, and the dog, yeah, there was a friend's dog

on a summer holiday, and that's what I think got me in. So he's holding a little dog. Really cute dog, and I'm like, I do love dogs. I don't have one. You know, that's my way. So, yeah, obviously you beat them and they don't have one, you know, that's my way so yeah, obviously you meet them

and they don't have a dog. And so these photos, are they reflective of the man you're with now? Yeah, except the dog everything else is pretty legit He still loves holding dogs. Yeah but he doesn't have a dog so like, it's false advertising He never said it was his dog He's just like, I just love holding a dog. If it's a dog, I'll hold it

You know, that's the sort of guy he is It's a great business idea, isn't it, that you start up like a photography agency specialising in dating photos, where you're like, oh, you know, do you want to be bench-pressing a car? Do you want to be holding an animal, dead or alive? The options are yours.

Do you want to be in a group of 22 people so no one can figure out which one you are? A little extra. We'll get like a celebrity to come stand next year with your arm around, you know? Yeah, we could do that. There's money to be made there. Well, next we're going to get a dating expert on.

Are there big do's and don'ts when you're on the social media dating scene? Like a biography that I saw, my friend had written, a joke one. He said, I enjoy long walks along the beach until the drugs wear off and I realise I'm dragging a mannequin around a KFC car park. Oh, no.

But they've got to move because people are like, oh, that's funny. That's funny. I mean, a little laugh like that may help. The Hits. We're joined by Bridget Jackson. She's the founder of Equal X's. She's a qualified lawyer and a relationship coach and expert. Good morning. How are you both? Now, are you familiar with

OutKast's 2000 song, Miss Jackson? Not really, no. No. Well, I thought we could do an intro with you because you come on the show regularly where it could be like, she's a relationship guru who we talk to every month or two. It's

Bridget Jackson. I love that. I love you to do that. I won't sing, though, otherwise you won't have any listeners left. Today we're talking online dating, and you've got a bit of advice to pass on to the listeners right now. The first thing I want to know is, should you Google the person before going out on a date?

Is that something that everyone's doing these days? Googling. Well, due diligence is very, very important. So I would totally agree with that. Last thing you want to do is go out with a con artist, you know? Unless that's your thing. Unless you like being ripped off. That's true.

You know, one thing that's really important is, you know, anything you don't want children your parents or your boss to see doesn't belong on a dating site so what sort of photos should a person use like not filtered ones because they're distracting you know and hard to see so you've got to have images that are well lit that are in focus and i think it's really important that you've got to have a full length picture um so people can see what your body type's like. And the other thing is don't put photos that are from you from 20 years ago. Oh, really?

Well, those are the better photos. That's where we're looking better. What about the profile? Do you expect people to lie on those things just a little bit, just a few little lies? No. Well, you know, like if you're going to be posing with a puppy that's not yours, when in reality you have a rat, you know, that is not showing the real you because someone might be allergic

to dog hair. Well, do you know Belle who we're working with at the moment, Bridget? Her boyfriend went out for a special photo shoot for his dating profile, didn't he? Yeah, and one of them, he was holding a dog and it wasn't even his dog. He loves dogs I love dogs

so yeah it was pretty funny I know and likewise you know mine ended up having a photo with two children and one of them wasn't his We've got Bridget Jackson with us she is a relationship expert what red flags should people look out for? What are the red flags?

People talking about themselves all the time for a start, not asking about you. That's our favourite thing is radio announcers. We love talking about ourselves. We're narcissists, Bridget. I know. I knew that, all of you. In fact, you spend so much time right now talking about stuff that's not us

that we're starting to get a little jumpy. Yeah. We're not even looking for love, but we want to talk about ourselves. When do you take them home to your family? Well, I think, you know, to be honest with you, it takes three to six months to know what someone's really like. It's that three to six months

is when you know it's a make or a break because you think, oh my God, this person's picking their nose. It's really, you know, now I, you know, I can't cope with that anymore. think, oh my God, this person picking their nose, it's really, you know, I can't cope with that anymore. Or they don't go to dishes or they don't communicate back or whatever it will be. So don't bring my mum on the first date?

Not on the first date. No. Do you think it's harder now or easier to find love and to date with social media and online datings and stuff? Well, there's such a veritable array of people who you can have access to so easily now within 10 seconds. I think it's more difficult.

And I think in the world of divorce, obviously which is part of what I deal with, more people are getting divorced these days, less getting married. People aren't giving it a real chance. They're giving up easily. What, on marriage? Yeah, 100% and relationships. Oh, really?

Now you can, right, next, next, next. Yeah, right, it's a disposable dating society out there now. I absolutely agree, and that's why people like myself are very busy. Yeah, right, okay, there we go, Bridget. I'm sorry, Bridget Jackson, but we're going to have to leave you there. I can't wait for you to come up with that when I come on next time.

Yeah, I wanted to run the demo past you. We'll record it. We'll hit the booth next, okay? You have a great day. Get fuelled up with the Hitz Fuel Grab. You can win a whole lot of fuel thanks to the Hitz Fuel Grab and thanks, of course, to gas

at petrol service stations. In the two and a half weeks we've been doing this competition, $8,375 worth of fuel has been given away. Gee whiz that's a lot of petrol. Lot of petrol. We're going to head to West Auckland, home of some of this country's finest meth labs. Andrea, you're

on air. Good morning. How are you mate? Not too bad thank you. Now your kids have got COVID, bruh. Yeah, my two adult boys have got it. Yeah. They're doing okay? Sharing the love. I hope not.

Have you had it? No, I haven't. Yeah, look, it's crazy how some people in the house just, Ben, your partner didn't get it, did it? Your partner, Amanda, didn't get it, did she? Amanda, all my partner, neither of them got it. And the kids, no one got it except for me in the house. So yeah, it's just unusual how that happens.

So you're isolating at the moment, are you, Andrea? Yeah, for the week. Yeah, he got it on Saturday and the other one got it today. So yeah, for the week. Well, listen, you have no need for this fuel at the moment. But once you're out, you're going to be using that fuel like nobody's business. Okay, Andrea, have you heard the game before? I have, yeah.

Pretty simple. The gas fuel pump will start pumping that petrol, and you've just got to yell stop before it runs out, okay? Okay, cool. Let's go. $50. $55.50.50 $70

$82 $90 Going slow. $133 Stop Oh well done It was going up very slow today Wasn't it?

Sure was Ben was getting all jumpy In his seat He was like It's going slow Yeah Ramp it up a bit Hey well it doesn't matter

That's going to fill your car up Good and proper Andrea Thank you so much No worries We'll find out We'll find out what You could have got if you'd hung in there a bit longer. I think you played a smart game, but let's have a listen. $200.

$400. Oh! Oh, my goodness. Jeez, it jumped up, didn't it? A slow start. It really jumped up. At least you got $130. That's not too bad.

I'm wrapped. Thank you so much. At the $200 mark, I could hear a scoff from you, Andrea. Yeah. Hey, good on you. Keep safe avoiding that Omicron, and we'll get that petrol out to you. Perfect. Thanks, guys.

It's not like we send petrol out in plastic bags or anything. No, it's back again at 5.20 with Brad and Laura. It's all thanks to Gas Petrol Service Stations. You're supporting gas, you're supporting Kiwis 100% Kiwi owned. Next wonderful, wonderful compliment I got on Friday. Oh, is this the one from your barber? Yeah, yeah.

And I knew, I think, you know, really between the lines, he knew what he was doing but hey, it still worked all the same. If they were the internet, you'd want to clear this history. Jono and Ben on the same. If they were the internet, you'd want to clear this history. Jono and Ben, on the heads. Now, Jono, the other day you mentioned how you get to a certain stage of life and, you know, you get ID'd. You were talking about getting ID'd and it becomes a compliment.

Oh, beautiful stuff. Nothing makes a 40-year-old feel better about themselves than being asked for ID. I'll tell you what. If you want to brighten a middle-aged person's day up, ask them for identification. Oh, okay, ID. I tell you what, if you want to brighten a middle-aged person's day up, ask them for identification. Okay, ID. But I had someone say something to me the other day that also gave me that feeling, that feeling that you

got. So I went and got my hair cut because we're getting a photo shoot this week and I couldn't go to my normal guy that I go and see and have been seeing for many, many years. Many years. You feel like you're in a long-term relationship with this man, don't you? You'll never leave him. He will never leave you.

He's busy this week. He's got stuff going on. So I couldn't go and see him. So I had to go to somewhere else. Did you feel filthy? Well, no. You felt like you were cheating on him? No, but it was all, you know, like I had to do it, you know.

But I got to the stage where you're sitting there and you've got, you would love this situation because you've got half an hour, you're sitting with someone and you've just got to go through a lot of light bander. All the options, it's just you and someone else. It's not your favourite topic, is it? Light bander. I mean, you've got five minutes but another 25 on top of that you wouldn't be enjoying that. But we went through it all.

We went through it all. We went through the weather. It's always a good one. We went through the Will Smith situation. We went through the parking situation around work, the qualifications to get into what each we do. And then we got, obviously, to COVID. COVID's a rich run of conversations. I'm surprised you didn't lead with COVID.

No, we kind of got into that a little late in the piece. It's good, though. That'll pull you across the finish line. It does. And we're talking to that. So I was talking to the guy who was cutting my hair, and he was great. He was lovely to talk to.

And then I was saying how I got COVID. And then he said to me, you know, and this is me. He'd been looking at me for 15, 20 minutes without a mask on, cutting my hair, you know, in the situation. He's like, did anyone else, did any of your flatmates get COVID in the house? And I was just like, oh, the flat, the flat, the flatmate situation. I took a moment, I took a moment and I was like, oh, actually, you know, I've got a wife and a couple of kids. He's like, oh, do you? Was he like, no, did he do that? No, he didn't want to lay it on as thick as that, but I was, you know, it just got a wife and a couple of kids. She's like, oh, do you? Was he like, no. Did he do that? No, he didn't want to lay it on as thick as that. But I was, you know, it just gave me a little bit of a,

oh, flatmates. And I'm flatting. To be honest, I knew deep down that he wouldn't have thought I was in a flatting situation. No, I'd be like, if I was flatting, you know, if people were flatting here, they'd be like, who's the old guy? What happened?

Oh, life didn't turn out too well for him. The strange old one, one old man flatmate who's a bit broken, battling his way through life. Oh, but he's still flatting. Or unless he just thought you must just be such a shambles that you'd still be flatting. Yeah, that's a lovely compliment. Don't read too much into it.

Just say that was a lovely compliment. So, yeah, if you're going about your day-to-day, that's something you can use on people that makes it feel a little bit better. Yeah, but did he not think, oh, this guy might be somewhat successful in his career? He might own a house, he might have a stable relationship. You could look at it the other way.

I didn't put across that vibe, did I? But hey, I'll take it as a compliment. So thank you very much. Wonderful job cutting here, and wonderful compliment as well. Your essential listening for non-essential banter. Jono and Ben on the hits. Spy. Know what's up.

Spy.co.nz. We've turned on the George Foreman grill and let's give these celebrities a roasting bell. Crawford, what's going on? Well, our very incredibly talented Kiwi export, Julian Denniston, was on a TV show over in America, which Drew Barrymore has. I think it's very cool. Love, Drew. And he was just so casual. I love this. Have a listen. Now, I heard that you recently celebrated not one, but two big milestones.

Yes. Yes, I just turned 18. Well, not just, but I turned 18 like three months ago, but I just moved out of home. I am currently, yeah, I'm chilling in my own space. I'm independent. I'm living life. Can we just go back to

when they find out that he's 18 and the audience could not be more surprised or shocked. Have a listen to that grab again, Bill. Now, I heard that you recently celebrated not one, but two big milestones. Yes. Yes, I just turned 18. Well, not just, but.

Like it's a surprise that he's had a birthday. Yeah. Oh, wonderful. Yeah, Julian was doing that. I think it was three o'clock in the morning over here. Yeah. Because she's been in New York, I understand. But yeah, what I love about him is he doesn't change his demeanour

no matter who he's talking to. Yeah, he's cool. Hey, he's a bloody legend. How many people have got chat shows over there? You've got Clarkson and Allen and Barrymore. Yeah. There's so many of them. There's two big ones, though.

Kelly Clarkson, Drew Barrymore, and I'm here for it. They're just doing so well And obviously all the late shows as well Yeah Yeah, different target market So much chatting Yeah So many shows

And do you remember When Lady Gaga's dog walker got shot And they stole her two Frenchies? Yes Happened last year It was a wild story She paid for all the hospital costs too Yeah

And thankfully he was okay Her dogs were found But police have accidentally Let the guy responsible out of jail. It was a mistake. What, accidentally let me? Well, they let the wrong person out. They're thinking, oh yeah, and then they've let the guy that did it out.

And so he's out roaming. Bad day in the office, isn't it? Bad day in the office. Admin error, they're calling it. Yeah. That's a pretty bad admin error. How do you accidentally let the wrong person out? Surely there's like

Who was the guy was it? No. How many steps before you unlock the door and let them out? Surely there's a double an ID check. Right for that guy

imagine that he'd be like Oh yeah that's right it was my day to leave. Well good on him for playing along and if you

I mean if you were in his position you'd probably take that opportunity with both hands, wouldn't you? Exactly, exactly. Do they know it was Lady Gaga's dogs or not? That was the whole thing. I don't know if they did.

There were five people involved. I think it was planned. Five people. And they, I don't know. But anyway, it was a co, what's the word? Cohort operation. Yeah, right. Well, thank you very much, Bill.

That's Spy with the Kardashians, streaming April 14, only on Star on Disney+. That is our show. Have yourself a wonderful Monday. We'll catch you tomorrow from 7, and hopefully tell you how you can win $1, Bill. Let's spy with the Kardashians, streaming April 14, only on Star on Disney+. That is our show. Have yourself a wonderful Monday. We'll catch you tomorrow from 7 and hopefully tell you how you can win $1,000.