Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: Jono & Ben Try Their First Cheese Roll In Invercargill!

Episode Date: September 18, 2022

Today on the Jono & Ben podcast we are live from The Batch Cafe in Invercargill! Marcus Lush joins us to chat funny radio calls and running for the Mayor and the boys do a myriad of food sampling!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome to a bonus podcast from Jono and Ben on The Hits. Kia ora, it's September 19th, we're coming to you live from Invercargill, the Batch Cafe. And gee whiz, I tell you what, I don't think I'm going to need to eat again for another nine weeks. There has been food, meal after meal after meal, pies, raw meats, ribs dropped off, you name a food. Mate, you eat that raw in Southland, I think. You don't need to cook that, right? That's morning tea. Just eat it with your bare hands.

These ribs from Leland's. They give babies it instead of rusks. They just suck away on these ribs. Bill came down from Leland's. Do you know Bill? Yep. Now, this is Joe. Joe, who works as the chef here at the Batch Cafe.

Now, Bill came down from Leland's, the meat works, and... Ripped my hand off with a handshake. Jeez, he's got a powerful handshake, doesn't he? Throws you around a wee bit. Has he shaken your hand before, Joe? Yeah, yeah. He really does. He rocks you like a rag doll.

I feel like I need shoulder surgery after that handshake. Yeah, so we got some meat from him. We've got cheese rolls here, which are incredible. First-ever cheese rolls, and they're so good. So thank you so much. Awesome. No worries. I see why everyone loves them. They're such a great...

And now you brought us more food, which is incredible. What is this? Whitebait. Oh, wow. Whitebait fritters and patties. Are these patties, or what's the difference between a patty and a fritter? Well, I guess not too much. Not too much, yeah, right.

So you put some lemon over it? Yeah, put some lemon over it. Now, it's a whitebaiting season at the moment, isn't it? Yeah. I know this because a friend of mine came. We have. Now, Joe, do you just spend all day eating, being the chef here? Do you do a lot of eating?

Yeah, lots of eating, trying different things all the time. What's the big banger on the menu here? Oh. Good. Well, we have one exclusive dish on the menu every four weeks, six weeks. We change it up. It's called Made in Mirihiku. So everything that's on the plate is exclusive to Southland Produce.

So all the, well, yeah, the produce, the milk, everything that's on the plate is all exclusive to down here. That's very good. Yeah, so we do that to try and promote Southland businesses and produce and just really getting that movement going. Oh, that's awesome. Very welcoming city. Everyone's very friendly and welcoming. I thought we would have been bloody Aucklanders, sparkling waters. That was the sort of stuff I'd...

They did give us sparkling waters. They did give us sparkling waters. But yeah, no abuse. No Auckland abuse. You're pretty chill about Auckland. Say it again, sir. Not much hate towards Auckland from here. Oh, nah, nah.

Not publicly, anyway. Not while we're here. Wait till we leave. If you are ever in Invercargill, come see them at the Batch Cafe. Incredible food and, yeah, great hospitality. So thank you for having us. Thanks, Joe.

Thank you. Appreciate that, mate. Now, on the podcast today, obviously live from Invercargill, we went to the UK, too, ahead of the Queen's funeral. Gavin that, mate. Now, on the podcast today, obviously live from Invercargill, we went to the UK to a head of the Queen's Funeral, Gavin Gray, our wonderful UK correspondent. Prince Harry. He's getting shunted left, right and centre.

But I'm like, Harry, mate, you made your bed. Well, yeah, true. But then when you said before, Andrew's getting some treatment that maybe Harry didn't get, you're like, oh, hang on. Yeah, I mean, but Andrew, he didn't do anything wrong. Well, hang on. Let's not go there. He just paid some random ladies some money. Let's not go there. He just paid some random ladies for money.

Let's not go there. Anyway. That's what a not guilty person does. Let's not spoil the wonderful podcast. Enjoy with that. Enjoy the podcast and we'll catch you tomorrow. With a long and extinguished career. Jono and Ben on the hits.

It is the hits. Jono and Ben on your Monday morning. We're at the Batch Cafe in Invercargill giving away apology cash for not coming down to Invercargill soon enough. We've got a wheel you can spin this morning. We've got free coffee, and someone will play in 40 minutes' time for the chance to win $5,000. So many smiling Southern faces. Do you know what they always say?

Welcome to Southland. And they say it like that. We were at the airport yesterday. We were walking out the door. They're like, welcome to Southland. That's right. Very welcoming people here in Invercargill,

aren't they? I love the rolling of the R's as well, too. It's one thing I really love down here as well. Where did that come from? I don't know, but they've stuck with it.

If it's something they put on, a full credit to the ball because everyone's doing it. They've been keeping up their character for a long time. They've gone method on it. Hey, the Queen's funeral is happening today.

We're going to be catching up with Gavin Gray very shortly, our royal correspondent, in about 20 minutes' time. But a big event, obviously. What music, what bangers is the Queen's Funeral is happening today. We're going to be catching up with Gavin Gray very shortly, our royal correspondent, in about 20 minutes' time. But a big event, obviously. What music, what bangers is the Queen playing at the funeral? Well, yeah, at the funeral, a lot of classical music, as some of the songs from Beethoven, some Choplin as well.

Yeah, this is part of the music you'll hear today at the Queen's Funeral. She got to select a lot of the music that she wants to play. And for a ceremony, a prestigious ceremony, this makes sense, right? Now, producer Joel likes to say, tsunami. Is that a tsunami, producer Joel, that's a bay hover, Joel? That one probably isn't a tsunami. But it's fitting for a royal funeral, you know, like paying respects to

70 years on the throne, that makes sense, right? Yeah, it does. I thought London Bridge might be appropriate. Fergie? My London, London Bridge might be appropriate Fergie my London London Bridge that'd be good that'd be good for the Queen she did have a wicked

sense of humour the Queen I was hearing about that as well I don't know she was a fan of Fergie and London Bridge that was an option

she might have been a fan of that Fergie more than the other Fergie I don't know in the royal family I'm not sure what would you have of yours

what would you look at? You know, I like a pun. I like a pun or something that's going to make people laugh. So maybe this one song from Queen, from Queen the band, Another One Bites the Dust. Another one bites the dust. You know, something like that. That or to really, really annoy

people, Baby Shark. Just because the people had to sit through Baby Shark as well. Imagine that. And they would all be sitting through Baby Shark as well. Imagine that. And they would all be sitting there going, classic bed. Classic bed. Classic bed. Just to annoy everyone. Even in the afterlife.

Yeah, so that's my two options. I think I'd go something, because you want to have something that reflects who you were and what you did. I'd just have four minutes of commercials, mate. Beds R Us commercials,pet Court commercials Couple of those Government COVID commercials Just play those For a few minutes I can see you

Recording all the audio For the whole thing So we listen to you And I'll say G'day guys How you doing Bit of a gag Bit of prank calls

All sorts of stuff I'd put on a final radio show Final radio show Yeah With a few pranks In there as well I was looking online too Do you know what the most

Popular song at a funeral is Frank's And I've been to many funerals where this is played. Sinatra, My Way. Oh, heck of a song, eh? It's a beauty, this one, isn't it?

Yeah, great song. You're a big Sinatra fan. Yeah, my dad, Kevin Boyce, loves Frank Sinatra. So it sort of got me into it. It's a great song. And the most popular

comedy one is ACDC's Highway to Hell. That comes through. So, 0800 the hits this morning, 4487. What's the song that you want played at your funeral? Like, it doesn't have to be a comedy one. It could have real sentimental value or it could just be a song you like. This is a banger.

I need to have this at my funeral. 0800 the hits, 4487. Let's get your calls on New Zealand's Breakfast this morning, live from Invercargill. Look out! Scary dinosaurs. Not Jurassic Park. It's these guys. Jono and Ben on the

heads. Thanks so much for hanging out with us. We're broadcasting for Invercargill this morning. Free coffee at the Batch Cafe and a chance to win apology cash. Yeah, lovely people here. We've got mayoral candidate Tom. Tom, who's just been live streaming on TikTok for about an hour, eh? Seasoned campaigner. And speaking of mayoral candidate Tom. Tom, who's just been live streaming on TikTok for about an hour, eh? Seasoned campaigner.

And speaking of mayoral candidates, Marcus Lush will be joining us too. Local Invercargill legend, Lush, will be coming in from Bluff after 8 o'clock this morning. But being the Queen's funeral today. About 10 o'clock New Zealand time is when the funeral is happening today. It's a huge ceremony, as you understand. You would have seen the thousands and thousands of people that have been paying their respects. They're going to be over there for it. But we're not allowed to mourn just yet. We've been told we'll mourn on the 26th. Okay. On New Zealand's holiday.

Yeah, okay. We'll mourn next Monday, don't you? Save your mourning. Save your mourning until then. But we're just picking funeral songs. Not for her. She's probably got that sorted. She has got it all sorted. Beethoven, a lot of classical stuff as well. Has she got some sort of frazzled relative playing it off Spotify? I'm always the music guy in those situations.

Because of the radio background, I guess. I had to put multimedia together for a funeral not so long ago. Pictures to music. I was just like, mate. Did it work? It took me four days. I think it worked. There were a couple of photos of my personal ones that ended up in the montage.

Stuck into the system. People didn't need to see that while they were grieving. Oh dear God, why is he in a G-string? But anyway, your funeral songs, you've picked, what have you picked? I was going, Baby Shark, just to annoy people one last time, you know. But there's some great texts that have come through. Queen, Who Wants to Live Forever, come through on 4487. Green Day, this one, Time of Your Life as well.

Oh, that's a beautiful song. It's a lovely song as well. And it's a short one too, two and a half minutes, so I know you're in and out too. Nothing worse than like a nine to a 12 minute song where you're all just sort of sitting there

like a long pink Floyd one or something. Icy Fire from Ed Sheeran came through from Steph this morning as well where she wants to be cremated. So she was like, hey, this is the song that I want to go for when you're cremating me as well so i think it's pretty good now we've got some of the wonderful folk from invacago here what's your name my name is jade now jade your funeral song what's it going to be mate oh i think i'm going to go with home by edith williams oh oh now us

saying oh is we have no idea what this song is. It's a good one. Yeah. You're going to have to sing it for us. It's like, home, let me come home. Home is wherever I'm going. Okay, I had totally the wrong song. I was thinking something else as well. Listen, I don't even think we need Edith playing that.

We should record you. We'll play this recording at your funeral. Yeah. Don't know about that one. And what's your name? Abby. Abby, your funeral song, what's it going to be? It's got to be What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong.

That's a great song. Yeah, that is a beauty, Abby. We did a topic of like if no one had heard music before and they'd landed on Earth, what song would you play them? You only had one song and it was that one that came through. Yeah, that's what most people voted for, just for being the most wonderful song. Come over here, boys. What are your names?

Now we're just in the cafe here at the Batch, harassing poor people as they have breakfast. What's your name? Jonte. What's your funeral song, Jonte? It would have to be Another One Bites the Dust by Queen. Oh, hey, we were just talking about that one. Yeah, what's yours, mate? That's Mac and I'd probably do Highway to Hell.

They've got some two fun ones up there. Thank you, Mac and Jonty. I love it. Proud to be Kiwi. Jono and Ben on the hits. Jono and Ben on the hits. Coming to you live from the Batch Cafe in Invercargill. Yeah, thanks so much to the Batch Cafe here in Invercargill

serving the finest Southland sushi, a.k.a. cheese rolls. We've never had one in my life before, and we've just been given one. Wow, they look incredible. We're going to tuck into those very shortly. They smell amazing. I've accosted two little girls here. What's your name? I'm Sophia.

Sophia and? Neve. Guess what, Ben? Sophia and Neve, not even from Invercargill. Where are you from? Wellington. Now, why are you here, Sophia? Aerobics Nationals.

The aerobics nets. Now, just before, you were like, hey, you want to talk on the radio? And they went, well, not too long. We've got things to do. Where on earth do you have to be? The airport. Oh, sorry. That's quite important.

Okay, last question. The good news is, why don't you tell us what happened at the aerobics nets? We won. They won the nets! That's awesome, well done. Well done, now go catch a flight. Yeah, good luck. There you go.

When they said they had to go somewhere, they really did have to go somewhere. I thought they were just fobbing us off. Now Kat, the wonderful owner of the Batch Cafe in Vicargill, who has dressed all morning, committed to the role of dressing up as a cheese roll, the Southland Delicacy Cat. Welcome. Thank you. Good morning.

Thank you so much for having us. This is a wonderful cafe here. We've really loved the hospitality so far. And I've never honestly had a cheese roll before. I've heard so much about them. So this looks incredible. Yeah, we've got the, we need to get into them. We need to get your knife because we're at peak consumption time right now with that lovely melting butter on the top glistening away there. You explained it just

after 6 o'clock this morning, but if anyone missed that, what exactly is a cheese roll? So we've got a really high quality white loaf. What I noticed about your loaves is, Bill, first thing I noticed... That's a secret, is it a secret? Oh, can we give the way live on here? What, then you can't?

No, you can't. He's going to go there, isn't he? He's itching to go there, but I'm like, mate, that's part of your secret. We were meant to see that. That's like going behind David Pogdenfield's magic show. We don't want the Aucklanders claiming the cheese rolls. We don't want them having all our secrets. I won't outlay the secret. So what is it?

So it's a lovely, high-quality white loaf, and it's smothered with a delicious cheese mixture, creamy cheese mixture, rolled up and toasted till it's just the perfect tone of brown and then a smothering of gorgeous butter. It looks really good. It is a heart attack wrapped up in a piece of white bread. I'm going to try some. White bread, this is playing into your sweet spot.

You love a white bread. Oh yeah. Imagine a cheese toasted sandwich on steroids. Yeah. So we've got a smorgasbord of cheese rolls here, actually. We've got cheese rolls three ways this morning. Cheese rolls three ways, okay. You've just constantly been feeding us all morning.

Are you fattening us up to eat us or something? This is what we do. We're going to roll you out the door. Cheese roll us out the door. You're currently consuming the original, our traditional cheese roll. This is your next one we've got here is called The Work. So it's got a wee bit of our in-house chilli jam on top. I feel like you're stitching us up.

With grilled parmesan on the top of it. So that's the real deluxe version. That's very nice, isn't it? Might I say the filling, very hot. Very hot and very delicious, OK? I feel like this is MasterChef in cargo edition, OK? We need to get the voting papers out. So this is when in Rome.

So this is our Southland cheese roll with some... Oh, that one's got a bit of kick to the second one. Oh, yeah, that chilli jam. Watch out for that, yeah. And then coming up now, we've got the crayfish cheese roll. A crayfish cheese roll? This is a special edition just for this morning. Cray cray?

We tasted the South there this morning. Have you dreamed of tuning into the radio and listening to two people eating? Well, you've come to the right show. They're very good. That's very good. Oh, wow. Sorry, it's very hard to talk on the radio and eat at the same time. You've got your work cut out for you there.

They're incredible. Well, best cheese rolls in Southland. Thank you. The Bats Cafe. Now, Kat, what do you want to say to the people? What do you want to say to your fans, Kat? Oh, well, come on down this morning. We've got free coffees rolling.

We've got human cheese roll competition. $100 voucher for anyone who comes turned up as a human cheese roll. Two people have already. For the best dressed up. We have. We've had two entries already, yes. Yep, we're hoping to get a dozen. I'd like to see a whole dozen of cheese rolls this morning.

Cheese roll family. When you said, do you want my honest opinion? Yep, go for it. When you said, I've sent out a message to get everyone to come dress up as cheese rolls, and I'm like, Cap, Cap, that is never going to happen. And lo and behold, at least six people have come dressed up. You underestimate Southlanders. I know, it's so incredible.

You've underestimated them. We have far more power in this region than I ever knew. Well, thank you so much. These are incredible. I love it. Well, you've converted us. Coming to you from Invercargill, the Batch Cafe. Jono and Ben fattening up for an eating.

The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. Coming to you live from Invercargill this morning. We're at the Batch Cafe. Been caffeinating Invercargill's economy since 2011. Looking on TripAdvisor, Ben. I like reading TripAdvisor reviews live on the radio because it makes you a little anxious. Yeah, yeah.

You never know what they're going to be like, eh? Brutal Honesty on TripAdvisor. Do you know what they're saying about this cafe on TripAdvisor? Well, I hope they're grateful things because we're going to spend the next couple of hours here. Best eggs Benedict ever? Oh, good. Yeah. The serving size was perfect and the cakes to die for.

Yeah, it looks like incredible food if you are in the area. It kills people with their cakes. Come on down. We've got free coffee this morning. There's a whole lot of apology cash. We're apologising for not coming to Invercargill sooner. And someone will have a chance at 7.45 this morning to play for $5,000. Dale's just turned up too.

Dale Hardeman. He's given us a couple of beanies. Hugh's Contracting. Hugh's Contracting. Stubbies. Legs out. Stubbies. Southern legs. Big hearty southern legs, mate. couple of beanies which say Hughes contracting Hughes contracting stubbies legs out stubbies southern legs big hearty southern legs mate yeah what are you doing with your little legs well yeah definitely not in stubbies that's for sure uh yeah but it's a big day here in Invercargill but

even bigger day in the UK uh 10 o'clock tonight New Zealand time uh the Queen's service the funeral is happening and let's head to the UK He holds the world record for doing the most talking about the Royals in a week and a half, Gavin Gray, a UK correspondent. Come on down. Good morning to you there, guys. Yes, a very, very busy period coming up. I mean, it's been busy for the last nine days, of course, but now, of course, we reached the final couple of stages,

the end of the lying in state and then the funeral and then the interment at Windsor Castle and St. George's Chapel. Now, I have to say, London is crawling with security. It is also full of world leaders and senior royal member families from all sorts of royal families around the world. And I have to say, it is going to be one of the biggest gatherings of its kind in our memory, most certainly. How many people are we expecting at the funeral and then also outside the funeral with the crowds watching the procession? 100 heads of state, 500 foreign dignitaries are going to be around.

I mean, quite extraordinary. 10,000 police officers are going to be on duty. And we're also getting, you know, supplemented, the London force supplemented by Britain's 43 other police forces. So that's the largest ever police operation. Hundreds of volunteer marshals as well. And then the armed forces. Now, there are going to be 1,500 armed forces involved, along with the security services, but in total, for the actual parade, where Her Majesty will leave Westminster Hall, where

she's currently lying in state, and goes on to Westminster Abbey, then there will be something like, I think it's 6,000 army and armed services people. So it is an enormous, an enormous task ahead. But a great time to start a war somewhere else. No, just if all the energy's focused there. Hey, Gavin, listen, really do appreciate all of your time over the last week and a half. You've done a magnificent job and good luck today. It's going to be a massive day. Cheers. Thanks, guys. The reason call screening was invented. Jono and Ben on the hits.

It's Elton John, Britney Spears. It is the hits. You've got Jono and Ben 6.24 on Monday morning. We're here. We're in Invercargill. We made it, Jono. We made it late last night. We're broadcasting this morning from the Batch Cafe. Wonderful cafe here in Invercargill. So come down and see us. We've got free coffee. We've got apology cash because we haven't come here sooner.

You can win some cash, and someone will win $5,000, hopefully this morning, all going well. That's what's happening. I mean, hard, hard salt of the earth people in Invercargill. I just shook a toddler's hand. I ripped my hand clean off. A toddler had calluses on its hand. This is a baby, Ben, a baby with hand calluses.

Now, Kat, who's the owner of the Batch Cafe. Now, you are welcome. Thank you, firstly, for having us. Thank you. It's lovely to have you guys here. It's really lovely to be here. Now, this morning, you welcomed us in. You gave us some coffee.

And then you went off and got changed. And you've come back dressed as what? A human cheese roll. It's a cheese roll, the delicacy of the South. And what is a cheese roll? Explain it for those that don't know. Yes, we take a cheese roll quite seriously down here. So traditionally you'd eat it on a Sunday morning with a hot vegetable soup at the Nipple Court.

So it's a slice of white bread, and it's a cheesy mixture, and just roll it on up. With some onion dip as well? Well, you could use an onion dip, yep. There's many variations of the recipe. And do you sort of toast it on top? Give it a wee grill. A wee grill. Smother it in butter.

Yeah. A wee garnish, a bit of parsley maybe. We haven't actually ever tried one, so about 7.30 this morning we'd like to try our first ever cheese roll, but you've got a cheese roll costume. You look like a cheese roll mascot this morning. I love it. Thank you. Yeah, we're've got a cheese roll costume. You look like a cheese roll mascot this morning. I love it. Thank you. We're fully embracing the cheese rolls this morning. So basically what it is,

is underneath, it looks like, if you don't mind me saying, you've got a full skin-coloured, sort of latex tight outfit on underneath. It could be a condom. It could be dressed as a giant condom. Fabulous description

It's obviously cheese though It's cheese It's obviously cheese Which kind of looks like a condom But anyway And then you're wrapped on the outside Sort of a cardboard This is the white bread

Yes And your arms are inside So you're very Very vulnerable at the moment Look I'm cutting you off the coffee If you're encouraging people To be pushing me over this morning You'll cut

You look great Well thank you so much for having us Now a wee game we like to play Is joining jobs Normally we get someone to call up Look, I'm cutting you off the coffee if you're encouraging people to be pushing me over this morning. You're cut. You look great. Well, thank you so much for having us. Now, a wee game we like to play is joining jobs. Normally we get someone to call up on 0800THEHITS. They tell us their job and we try and find someone else on 0800THEHITS that also has the same job. Yeah, so today we're going to do it with you, Kat. Professional barista, cafe owner.

So what we're going to do, 0800THEHITS, you You have 60 seconds if you're also in the cafe game, you make coffee, maybe you're a chef. Maybe you're also dressed in a cheese roll costume on your weekends as well. Yeah, so we'll start the 60-second timer now. Producer Joel, we'll take a barista. We'll even take a barrister. We've got a 12-month Viva Magazine subscription, the new edition out now. So we've got that up for grabs on 0800THEHITS if you also work in the cafe industry.

Now, Kat, tell us a fun fact about Invercargill while we're padding for time. Ooh, fun fact about Invercargill. Currently we've got some contentious mayoral debates coming up. Oh, contentious mayoral election. A very important election coming up, yes. Yeah, Joel, have we got anyone calling through? Are we still padding? We've got someone on line one right now. Who is it?

Hello, the hits. You're on for joining jobs. Susie. Susie, what do you do? I'm a barista and I own a coffee container. Hey! There we go. Well done, Susie. You got a 12-month Aviva magazine subscription.

Thank you. It's awesome. You and Kat, you'll have a lot to talk about. Take it away. Talk about all the coffee stuff, you know. What do you have to say, Kat? Whereabouts is your coffee container? My coffee container is in a small place called Te Aroha in the North Island.

Amazing. What coffee do you serve? I serve a local brand called Ascensa from Morrinsville. How many coffees do you do a day? You're a very good cat. You should do your job. I probably do 150 a day.

Oh, that's epic. Work it. There you go. That's free-flowing coffee shop banter. This is an insight to the industry of what happens

behind the scenes. Come down and see us I'd like to know how to make cheese rolls though. Oh, come and visit us. Oh, will. Thank you.

Or even better, you could just email the recipe. But no, it's a secret. It's much more high-tech than that. This is the Jono and Ben podcast. Wall-to-wall talking without the niggly popular songs in between. Broadcasting from Invercargill this morning, enjoying some southern hospitality. It's been great. And look who's popped in to see us.

Surprise. Marcus Lush from Newstalk ZB Nights as well, running for mayor. Nice's been great. And look who's popped in to see us. Surprise. Marcus Lush from Newstalk ZB Nights as well, running for mayor. Nice to see you. You guys stopped calling me at night time yet? Now that we went breakfast, we've stopped calling you. We used to phone Marcus, didn't we, all the time, and the

game was how many times we could say the name Marcus. You love saying Marcus to people. You go like, you know, Jeanette, it's Marcus. Such and such is Marcus. You love that, don't you? But now you're getting your name out there running for mayor. Is that right, Marcus?

Yeah. Who won that out of interest? I think our producer Dan, because he said his name was Marcus, so it was a lot of Marcuses on air. I think he got like 33 in one phone call. Now, Marcus Lush, you're running for mayor down here,

and what we have appreciated all morning is looking at your sign, your Vote for Lush sign. Vote Lush Form A-er. Form A-er. So he's got the Form Mayor, obviously, he wants to say, but he's run out of space there, so it says Form A-er. And has it gone viral? No.

But that's the psychological genius, because people look, hey, what's that? And it'll actually make a deep impression on their cerebral, because I think, well, actually, yeah, wow. Yeah. Yeah, let's put some thought into that. And if he puts that to the city, you know, miracles could happen. Jeez, it's going to be busy if you become me. Oh, let's hope so.

Yeah. Want something, don't ask a busy person. That's the way to do it. How long have you been down here for? 20 years. Right, 20 years. Anzac Day 2022. Oh, 2002.

Wow, so a long time. And so you live in Bluff. What took you to the end of the country? I'm not sure. I'm not sure, but once I was there, I knew it was, you know, sometimes you think, oh, hang on, what's this about? And then you do it and think, oh, that's it. And that was a click, bam. Because we admire you so much.

We really do. We look out to you Marcus and I just love the fact you've moved to the end of the country and there was the wild rumour that you bought the house with your FBOS card. Where did that come from? It was an industry rumour that you bought it with your FBOS card. Why would someone, I mean how could you get $27,000

out of an FBOS card? You know that's weird eh? The other rumour that I heard, a friend of ours used to study broadcasting, and you taught them as a tutor. And you did the whole class with your bike helmet on. You turned up on the bike and didn't take the helmet off. And everyone's like, oh, that's the other one I heard. You're like, well, I'm just going to put it back on afterwards.

So apparently that's the other one as well. Well, what was the class? I don't know if that's true or not, but I love that story. I like it. I did do that, and I had no recall of that. But it was funny because you're teaching broadcast, you think you'd be telling the love of the radio all they wanted to know is this going to be in the test.

You think, oh, we're going to do great things. Is this going to be in the exam? But no wonder if I'm there with my bike. You didn't take it off. I love that. I see your logic behind it. I've just got to clip it back on at some point. Now you're a lover of trains.

Obviously you had many train-based TV shows over the years. But I was reading in the paper that you want to bring trams to Invercargill, not trains. No, when you go to Christchurch, there is, because Christchurch has got trams, right, and they've got the Invercargill tram. Oh, they've got it in Christchurch? They've got our tram. Ah has got trams, right, and they've got the Invercargill tram. Oh, they've got it in Christchurch?

They've got our tram. Ah, so you want to bring it home? Bring it home. Bring it. You get the museum there, you get the tram going to it. People would love,

people love a tram. Yeah, what I also appreciated too, oh, sorry Marcus, can you continue on? No, no, I was just saying some stuff.

Is that you, over the weekend, as part of your campaign, you opened the door to your house. So you invited everyone from Invercargill to come and have a cup of tea? No, just from Bluff. Just from Bluff?

Did people set you up on it? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. At one o'clock exactly, the first person arrived. Oh, yeah? We had security, Gavin, our mate who's a gold miner. And I've never seen Gavin dressed up. I popped out and said, Gavin, can you come and do security? Well, Gavin has never, ever been in anything

apart from overalls in his life. And he comes to the house and says, oh, the shoes don't match. So obviously we'd be fostering around the caravan to find shoes. Anyway, he came, so we had security, and yeah, we had people arriving. Yeah, it's a brave move to open your door to uh strangers

people very transfixed by the hospitality of that but you know my thing is the welcome city yeah and yeah keep it welcome i don't know if i convinced anyone to vote for me but they certainly had a good look around the house best thing about invicargo marcus lush what's the one thing you love about the place oh it's probably hard to say one thing oh yeah so much to choose from i just like the light. I just like the fact that everywhere you go, you've got all this light over there. You don't feel hemmed in. Yeah, you might.

Not like Auckland, you're sort of coming up and down. The roads are long. Do you want to say how wide the roads are here? Great for a tram. Traffic lights, though, feel a little redundant this morning? Yeah, I've got quite strong theories about traffic lights. I think sometimes in the afternoon, sometimes in the middle of the night, they should... Because when I finish work at midnight and I'm waiting at this traffic light,

I think, well, maybe I could just go through. Oh, Marcus, last year, a legend. Thank you very much. Well, we can do more. We can hang around. You can hang around. You can help us get through to 9 o'clock. Yeah, Marcus, we're going to play some audio that made us

cry with laughter from Marcus' show next. Live from Invercargill, Jono and Ben at the Batch Cafe. Numeracy, literacy, and idiocy. They've nailed one of those things. Jono and Ben on the hits. I'm cashing in my bad luck. Some nights I call it a drop.

Some nights I wish that my lips could build a castle Some nights I wish they'd just fall off But I still wake up, I still see your ghost Oh Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for Oh, what do I stand for? What do I stand for? What do I stand for most nights? I don't know anymore Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh This is it, boys, this is war

What are we waiting for? Why don't we break the rules already? I was never one to believe the hype See that bulls are black and white Try twice as hard and a map is like wood Here they come again to jack my style That's alright I found a martyr in my bed tonight

Stops my bones from wondering Just who I am, who I am, who I am Oh, who am I? Well, some nights I wish that this all would end Mmm. When I still wake up, I still see your ghost Oh Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for What do I stand for? What do I stand for? Most nights, I don't know So this is it

I sold my soul for this Washed my hands of that for this I missed my mom and soul for this Wash my hands of that for this I miss my mom and dad for this No, when I see stars When I see stars, that's all they are When I hear songs They sound like a swan So come on

Come on Oh, come on Well, does it got a status on? Five minutes in and I'm bored again Ten years of this, I'm not sure if anybody understands This one is not for the folks at home Sorry to leave, but I had to go Who the fuck wants to die alone?

All dried up in the desert sun My heart is breaking for my sister and the calm that she called love And then I look into my nephew's eyes Man, you wouldn't believe the most amazing things That can come from some terrible act Some terrible It's for the best we get on this thing. It's for the best we get on this thing. It is some night're on the hits. John O'Byrne, 8.34, Monday morning.

Marcus Lush hanging out with us in Invercargill this morning. Marcus, we love your night-time radio show on Newstalk ZB. You always start with the same song every night. This one. It seems weird, eh? Well, no, but it's so you. Every night I hear it, you're like, what is the significance of this song? Is it power of love?

Yeah, but if ever there's a quiet night, you say, should we change the theme tune and polarise it so it's full boards all night? Because people hate it or people love it. That's the whole key to it. If ever there's nothing happening in Talkback, you go with that. I don't know. I just sort of like, yeah. Although it goes into I am your lady, so we cut it out before then.

All right, yeah. There must be some moments when it's like 11 o'clock at night and you're listening to a caller going, what on earth are you talking about? Are there many of those moments, Marcus? Well, I love my audience. I don't know what to do with yours. Sometimes you think, hang about, what actually are you trying to say?

You've got to wheel it right back because you sort of go down this rabbit, and you might be looking at the text or googling something at the same time, and you think, hang on, bring me back here, where are we going with this? And often the thing I might be joining with Ben, are they seeing how long they can actually talk? Yeah, before you hang up. Because everyone, all students do a game where you ring talkback radio and see how long you can go for before you get cut off.

Hang on, Marcus. And that's quite an exciting game. So I think it's one of you guys doing that. So that's one of my major concerns. Well, what we loved, speaking of your callers, was Bruce. I think it was Brian, actually. Oh, Brian. Sorry, Brian. Bruce is great, too.

Don't get me wrong. Bruce is great. But Brian was one of our favorite callers the other day. And he called up. And he was talking about the rugby, wasn't he? And for some reason, he couldn't hear you. Maybe he was playing that student game at all. Here's a wee snippet of it, and Mark is trying to interrupt.

But Brian, Brian, sorry, Brian. Hang, hang, hang, hang, hang, hang, hang, hang, hang on, Brian. So, Brian, can I talk? Can you hear me? Brian? Can you hear me? Brian, can you hear me? Brian! Brian, can you hear me? Brian!

Can you hear me? Brian! if that and the scores they lose them when he goes on and they still lose them when he comes off Brian Brian Brian can you hear me

sorry for people Brian you know and what's the logic of taking Kane off and then you keep going and at the end he was like

I was waiting for you to interrupt me so what happened there makes you wonder what sport talk's like most of the people go on sports talk gay darcy must just put them on and come back five minutes later and say well he had it so well worked out i mean it was quite eloquent yeah he did if i was interrupting him the whole time but he had no idea no he's not i've lost marcus but i'll keep plowing off but then i went back to him so i was waiting for you

to say something i think well i've been talking about guest lighting, man. I mean, jeepers. Now, we're in Invercargill. You've been here for 20 years, as you mentioned. And what I appreciated about it, doing some research, is it claims to be the southernmost everything. So the southernmost McDonald's, the southernmost... Warning, this show contains Jono and or Ben. Jono and Ben on The Hits.

The Hits $20,000 prize grant. With trade tested. Yeah, a new prize is added at 8 midday and 3pm each weekday. Then at 5 o'clock with Brad and Laurie, you've got to give them a call. List off all the prizes that have been added throughout the day and they're all yours thanks to Trade Tested, New Zealand's favourite online home improvement store. First prize this morning, the first one to add in, is a Bestway Inflatable Spa. Bestway Inflatable Spa, valued at $899. So that's the prize at 8 o'clock. There's another one at 12, another one at 3,

and if you get all three, give them a call at 5 o'clock today. Tell them what all three are, and you could win all those three prizes thanks to Trade Tested. It seems wild, Ben. It seems wild. It does seem wild. What an age we live in, thanks to Trade Tested. We're coming to you live from In wild. It does seem wild. What an age we live in thanks to Trade Tested. We're coming to

you live from Invercargill, but that doesn't mean we stop doing this. It's time for Cliffhanger Calls. It's the Cliffhanger Calls.

It's time to find out what someone's story is. You can't come in with a do-do-do just after I've played. And then you just have this half-hearted story is. You can't come in with a do it, do it, do it, just after I've played Oh, it's like do it, do it, do it.

And then you just have this half-hearted do it, do it, do it. Well, as I did it, I was like, well, you've already played this sound effect and done better than I can do, but I love that. Do it, do it, do it. Anyway, Cliffhanger calls, we get someone's best story, we stop it at a point. Ten times out of ten, we usually decide to hear the rest of the story, but today might not be that day.

Yep, Rochelle, welcome. How are you? you hey I'm good guys how are you doing we're doing really well Rochelle whereabouts are you in New Zealand I am in Wellington Wellington love Wellington yeah great city great city good good good advantage jeez see why you do your job yeah Rochelle now you got to tell us the first part of this story. Well, I got a text from a random phone number many, many years ago trying to get me back with an ex-partner. Wasn't your ex-partner texting you, though? Well, I mean, it could have been.

I wouldn't have known at the time, I guess. I abruptly replied, telling this person that they didn't know the background story and obviously, you know, to stay out of it. And then I had a tap on the shoulder that weekend in the city. Well, is this where we stop? Yeah. Oh, OK. So you got a text.

I'm trying to get my head around it. A text from a number that you didn't know. You didn't know who it was. And you're like, maybe I know them, maybe I don't know them. But they're trying to get you to do something to get back with your ex-partner. Yeah. What were their reasons? Why did they want to see you back together?

Well, I mean, just pretty much saying, you know, he deserves a second chance. You should see how it goes. And obviously I was just like, no, definitely not. So you replied back to this person? Yeah, I replied back and just pretty much said, no, that's not what's going to happen. But, you know, I mean, 10 out of 10 for trying, I guess. If it is your ex-partner, it's a wonderful play to pretend you're another person and go, he's a really good guy.

Give him a chance. You did that. Jono did that, actually, on stuff.co.nz. We had an article written about us on the TV show. There was less than favourable comments written about us, and Jono decided... Hundreds of them. I tried to turn the tide on them there, Ashil.

So I got on under an anonymous name. Another name. Like Jackson or something and said hey, they don't seem like they're that bad at guys. Give them another chance. And then poor old Jackson, he started getting roasting as well in the comments section. Can't turn the tide on

a torrent of hate. Can't be done. Once everyone's hating, it's too much fun. Too much fun. Absolutely. Okay, Rochelle, we're going to come back next with the second part of your story. Did Rochelle get back with her ex? Who was tapping her on the shoulder? Who was on the phone? We'll find out after this.

The Jono and Ben podcast, available on iHeartRadio. Coming to you from Invercargill this morning. Welcome back. Cliffhanger Calls. It's good to have you with us. We hear the first part of a story. You join us for the second part. Rochelle.

I'm back. You're back. Now, just to recap your story for those that have just joined us. So I got a message from a random phone number trying to get me back with an ex-boyfriend. And obviously I replied telling him nicely where to go, and then I went out that weekend and had a tap on my shoulder. So your text back to this number, I imagine, was like, get your sticky beak out of my business.

Yeah, that's pretty much with a few other curse words in there, yeah. Yeah, right, so the tap on the shoulder. Now, this is where we left it. A lot of balls in the air. You pick it up from here, Rochelle. So I had the tap on the shoulder. I turned around to a tall young man standing behind me, and he explained that he was the one who had sent me the message earlier on in the week.

Oh, and he'd been following you? How has he ended up in the same place? So, I mean, Wellington's a small place, right? When you're in Courtney Place, it's pretty small. Wellington, I love that city. He did before. You didn't have much banter on it, but you did. Okay, so this guy, had you met this person before?

No, I had no idea who this person was, but obviously he knew exactly who I was. Wow. Okay, so he's the guy that sent you the text, he's the one that tapped you on the shoulder, and he's the one that's saying that you should get back with your ex-partner. Yes, correct. Where does it go from here? So I obviously tell him that he owes me a drink for trying to get involved in my life.

Yeah. And we have a couple of drinks, and then 19 years later and a couple of kids, he is still around. Oh my goodness. He's still got a sticky beak up in your business. Wow. What a story. So he was obviously friends with your ex. Yeah.

How's their relationship now? Well, I mean, it was kept quiet for a little while and then once we realized we were serious and and you know we just decided to we decided to obviously let everybody know and i mean it was fine it was there was no problem and everything was good that is a great story wonderful story So you went from almost borderline abusing this person. I mean, I started off how it was going to be. He knew what he was putting himself in for. Oh, Rochelle, what a great story of how you both met. That's wonderful.

Thank you so much for sharing. Yeah, no problem. And we're going to send you out some hell pizza, okay? Awesome. Cool. Sounds good. Delivering this lifetime. And next year, go and have a great day, Rish. I really appreciate it.

You too. See you later. This is the Jono and Ben podcast. The whole world watching what's going on in the UK. Obviously the Queen's funeral tonight. Everyone paying their respects. Thousands and thousands of people there. 10 o'clock New Zealand time, that's going to be. Now over the weekend, some wonderful vision of David Beckham

waiting in line up to 26 hours to see Her Majesty's coffin. Surely Golden Balls could have got a queue jumper pass. Yes, and I'm told he was offered a queue jumping pass and denied it. Now, the cynical people amongst us are suggesting he is pretty desperate for a knighthood and may well have wanted a good photo opportunity. I think that's rather cynical. Maybe he just wanted to go and pay his respects to Her Majesty. Why he would want a queue that long and not get the quick pass, I'm not quite sure. However, there he is in the queue and good on him. I mean, the queue is still ongoing. Now, the final people able to see Her Majesty lying in state have until 6.30 tomorrow morning our time.

That's 5.30 this evening your time. And if they don't make it through the door by then, it'll be shut. Can you imagine queuing 8, 9, ten hours and just being missing out? It will be awful. So they're saying they're going to restrict the queue so that that doesn't happen. He should get a knighthood. He would have been punished for 12 hours. Selfie after selfie.

Newspaper reporter after. Give him a knighthood for waiting 12 hours. And Prince, no longer Prince Harry now, but Harry, we've seen a lot of news stories about him being included in some of the royal proceedings. Other times he's been told he's not allowed to wear this and that. What is going to happen with Harry today? Yeah, I think it's going to be a time, I think, for everyone to come together.

So I don't think we're going to see any major falling out. But apparently he was delighted that he was able to wear his uniform. And then he noticed that the initials E.R., which, of course, stand for the Elizabeth II Regina, meaning that he served under Queen Elizabeth. That was removed from his military outfit. And he was absolutely, apparently really hurt and upset about this, whereas, of course, Prince William was allowed to wear it. And I even noticed that some of the Queen's grandchildren who were present at this event, a couple of them only at school, they had medals that they were allowed to wear. And this whole thing, of course, with Prince Andrew, should he be allowed to wear

uniforms? Should he not? I think it's made some very very difficult decisions quite apparent and i don't think we'll hear the last of this from harry and in particular from megan has this been this seems like a very strange question but has this been everything you had imagined has it has it played out beautifully yes yes i think it has i think they'll be extremely happy with how it's gone i think the procession where they are firing a gun salute every minute is going to be truly dramatic it's only a short distance going for westminster to westminster abbey but then of course as the whole family are behind the hearse it is is going to be an amazing spectacle. But I think so far, it's almost hypnotic to see the live stream of people going into Westminster Hall to see Her Majesty lying in state.

It is remarkable. And suddenly you realise just how Her Majesty affected so many people. And finally, Gavin Gray, because I know you're very busy today, a very big day over there, whereabouts will you be watching the funeral from? Well, the question is, I think for me, is am I going to be able to get near to get footage for the media that I'm working for? Or am I going to have to sort of sit it out at a distance and get what I can from overall views? Am I going to have to fight with several other hundreds, thousands of people lining

the route in order to get a view? You'll be standing with golden balls on the outside with the people. Gavin Gray's a man of the people. Hey, Gavin, listen, really do appreciate all of your time over the last week and a half. You've done a magnificent job and good luck today. It's going to be a massive day. Cheers. Thanks, guys.

The hits. Let's going to be a massive day. Cheers. Thanks, guys. The Hits. Let's go. Jono and Ben with five words for 5K. Stop any time to keep the cash. Thank you. Or play on to win more. It is our Game of Word Association. We play it every morning at this time on The Hits.

Today we're broadcasting from the Batch Cafe in Invercargill where the locals are so lovely. Everyone just keeps giving us stuff. Bill, Bill, isn't it? Yeah, Bill from Leland's has just come down with a French rack. Some meat, mate, some southern meat. We've got some pies just given to us before. We've got cheese rolls as well.

Can I say, I shook your hand, Bill, and you nearly ripped my arm off. We're tough down here. It was a hell of a hand. Shake Ben's hand now. Oh, please don't. Shake Ben's hand. Look how strong this hand is. Ow're tough down here. It was a hell of a, shake Ben's hand now. Oh, please don't. Go, shake Ben's, look how strong this hand is. Yeah, wouldn't they just? Almost dislocate your shoulder.

All right, we've got $5,000 on the line. We're doing it live. We're doing it in the cafe. We've got Georgie joining us. How's it going? Good, thank you. Lovely to have you on, Georgie. 5K, what would you do with it here?

Buy 900 houses? What's going on? Probably put it towards the baby that's on the way, I think. Oh, very exciting. WhenK, what would you do with it? Here, buy 900 houses? What's going on? Probably put it towards the baby. That's on the way, I think. Oh, very exciting. When's the baby due? November. She's not long.

I didn't notice, but then you're in that weird thing of like, do you say? You don't. You don't. I was going to take a gamble. You don't. What do you reckon? As a pregnant person, do we take the gamble? Yeah.

Take the gamble and say. Even if they're in the birthing suite, I still wouldn't take the gamble. Maybe if there's a baby half out. You're like, no, no, no. I'm pregnant. Oh, I didn't notice. All right, George, you're going to pick one of us, Ben or Jono, to match up with this morning. Who are you going to pick?

I'll go Ben. All right. All right, Ben's going to head out into the, I would like to say, cold southern streets, but it's actually beautiful. No, it's very lovely out there today. Yeah, it's a beautiful temperate climate there as he heads out onto Space Street, Invercargill. So the game's pretty simple, Georgie. Just the first word that comes into your head, OK, mate? And we'll try and match those words with Ben.

Here we go. All Invercargill themed. World's fastest. Indian. Indian, that's right.. World's fastest. Indian. Indian. That's right. The wonderful motorbike. Anthony Hopkins movie.

He was in the world's fastest Indian, wasn't he? Did he come to Invercargill to film that? We made Anthony Hopkins come to Invercargill. You would have loved it. Good buggers. You would have loved it. Second word. Rolls.

Cheese. Cheese rolls. The southern delicacy. Stags. Rugby. Stags rugby. That The Southern delicacy. Stags. Rugby. Stags rugby. That's the local rugby team, obviously. Word number four for five words live from Invercargill this morning.

Southern. Fish market. Southern? Now, do you think Ben would say fish? That's all I would say to you. Do you think he would match with fish market? No. No. We can come back to southern, have a think about that. We'll jump up to word number five, which was coffee.

Tea. Tea and coffee, okay. Back to southern. It's a bit of a tough word. Number four this morning. Georgie, biting her lip, thinking, contemplating. Invercargill. Yes. That's a good option. Alright, we'll get Ben out from Space Street Invercargill. It's Invercargill. Yes. That's a good option. All right. We'll get Ben out from Space Street Invercargill as they roll into the Batch Cafe for free

coffee and cash this morning. $5,000 on the line. Now, you can advance through the rounds, okay? And you can pull out whenever you want, Georgie. That's your prerogative. All right. I'm back. I'm standing by the traffic lights, which are great, but they feel a bit redundant here.

They're waiting for no reason. A lot of cars are like, I could go, but I can't. I thought we got rid of the traffic light system. The traffic lights are here and they're doing a great job in Invercargill. How do we go? Very well.

There's a couple of tough words, but I think you can do it. We'll head to word number one. Word one, $25. All right, here we go. This is to win Georgie $25. World's fastest... Indian.

Well done. These are all Invercargill things. Yeah, I like it. I like it. Okay. So you got $25, Georgie. Are we rolling through to the $50 word? Yeah.

Okay, here we go. Word two, $50. Very appropriate, given both of their bellies are full of them. Cheese. Oh, rolls. There's 50 bones, Georgie. You can walk away with 50 bucks or you can go on. Keep going.

Keep going. Word three, $100. Stags. Stags. Do you like when I say stags? Yeah. Now, I'm thinking locally here, right? Yeah, you got it.

It's in for cargo themes. Because the first thing I thought of wasn't... Are we going? The local rugby team? Rugby? Boom! Almost said deer, but yeah, that's good. You've got $100.

Do we go through to the 500 round, Georgie? $100. Now, you were a little hesitant on word number four. I can't start. She's going to take a gamble. She's got a baby inside her, and she's taking a gamble, Ben. Word four, $500. Southern.

Southern. What would you say to Southern? I'm looking at Georgie. She's giving me nothing. I'm looking at Jono. I'm just going to say where we are. Invercargill?

Oh! Georgie! Slow clap. Fish from the air. The Batch Cafe is going off this morning.

Now, $500. You've got $500. That's yours, unless we get this one wrong. It's up to you if you want to risk it or not.

This is up to $5,000. Just do it. Just do it. You're so blas you if you want to risk it or not. This is up to $5,000. Just do it. Just do it. You're so blasé. Yeah, just do it. I guess what it is. It's a shrug of the shoulders. I'll try. I feel like we've been in the zone so far. Let's see if we can do this. Word five.

$5,000. Alright, Batch Cafe, this is for $5,000 for Georgie. Here we go. Coffee. What would you say to coffee? Free.

Free coffee. Oh. Oh, you said it was related to what we were doing. I thought that was a big clue. Georgie,

what did you say? Sorry, Georgie. T. T. Oh, that makes a lot more sense. Doesn't relate to what we're doing, but it makes a lot more sense.

We didn't need that. We didn't need that to end up a cargo bin. Oh, no. We're going to have to leave now. Yeah. Oh, I'm so sorry, Georgie. The legend of...

There's two guys rolling. Let's get us some of the apology money, though, that's here, right? We'll give you $20 of apology money. Pay off, eh? We'll never speak of this again, Georgie. No. We're going to have to get more apology money for Georgie. Oh, another chance for someone to win.

Same time, same place. I'm so sorry. It is the hits. You got John O'Byrne. Well done, mate. Oh, my dears. Baldly so sorry. It is the hits. You got Jono and Ben. Well done, mate. Baldly going where no show has gone before. How long is it going to take for Ben to make fun of my bald head?

Jono and Ben on the hits. And the Batch Cafe. It's beautiful here this morning. Free coffee. People can win some cash by spinning an apology wheel. It's because we did our Traffic Light World Record. We were in around pubs in Auckland last week on Thursday night. And Marcus Lush, broadcaster from Invercargill, he was like, mate, everyone hates you for doing all these things in Auckland.

Come down. He said, the people hate you. Come down. You know, you can't say the people hate you to a shallow radio announcer. No. All we want to do is make people happy. We jumped on the quickest plane that we could get on. We've come down here to Inverwakago to hang out this morning,

so come down and see us. But we were going around breaking the pub world record. You said it was the lamest pub crawl ever because we were visiting 57 pubs over 24 hours and we were drinking traffic lights, the kids drink. We didn't drink any alcohol. Now, this was also simultaneously putting to bed and paying tribute to the traffic light system,

the framework that guided us through those wonderful COVID years. Now, Ben, you mentioned something on Friday. You're like, have you visited the restroom and seen what is emerging from your body? Yes. And I hadn't at that point. You hadn't on Friday morning. This was after we'd been drinking 57 traffic light drinks. You've got raspberry cordial orange juice topped off with green food colouring.

Now, you said when you do visit the restroom, what you're going to see is confronting. Confronting scenes. Yeah, and you finally came to me last night when we were at the airport going, I see what you mean. Yeah. And it's still going. Yeah. Like it is. Like you said last night is this us from now

until, because it's been three or four visits now. Yeah. It's still consistently of that colour. I imagine when the Incredible Hulk, you know big green Incredible Hulk goes to the bathroom, I imagine that's what that's what happens. That's him and that's probably us. I think it's not getting...

I'm only thinking the insides must be stained with the green food colouring on the dye. And the paper. If anyone sees it, they'll be like, what is wrong with these people? It is, yeah. So we're just tippy-toeing around the fact of what it is, but it's not pretty. And B-Humps, he was a little concerned when we said, oh, he's still... It is, yeah. So we're just tippy-toeing around the fact of what it is. But it's not pretty. And Behump's, he was a little concerned when we said, oh, he's still. Days later.

Days later. So I think this might be us until the end of time. But you were saying, you know, it was the lamest pub crawl ever. But what happened, I caught up with a friend on Friday night. And he'd been talking to someone who thought that we got kicked out of a bar. They were like, well, we're at a bar. John O'Bent came in, and then they got kicked out for being too drunk. And he was like, really?

And they said, yeah, they were already in there for like a minute. They came on in, and then they got escorted out. So that's the cred that's going around. And then he had to explain to them, no, we came on in very quickly and drank a children's drink with no alcohol, and then we were on our way. But that's the cred. We're getting some cred from it. Yeah, but then you lose the cred as soon as you explain what we were actually doing so keep the cred up yeah because it was quite good when we're at bars and pubs and restaurants before midday i was like this

is cred this is see those battlers they're going in there having a you know go that was good cred as well yeah get the word out there we've got a raging alcohol problem start at nine o'clock in the morning but uh no it's a fun time, and we will always be left with the everlasting gift of what has been... Yeah, but it's still passing through our system. We'll keep you updated to see if it disappears. If you don't want two guys talking at you all morning,

too late! They're here. Jono and Ben, on the hits. Here in Invercargill this morning. Coming to you live from the Batch Cafe. Free coffee, free cash, come on down. Uncle Tom, he's running for mayor. He's over there. He's just had me live on his TikTok, mate. I know, mate. You're like a moth to a flame when it comes to a camera and a thing. He's like, get on my live channel. You're like me, mate. I'll be on it. Good on you.

So Uncle Tom's down here as well. All of Invercargill coming out. Electric stuff this morning. Free coffee and cash thanks to the Batch Cafe. But Ben, it's a Monday. We're down here having a fun time in Invercargill coming out. Electric stuff this morning. Free coffee and cash thanks to the Batch Cafe. But Ben, it's a Monday. We're down here having a fun time in Invercargill. Some people might not be overly motivated, so let's do this. It's a motivational Monday. We like to motivate people on a Monday morning because it often is the toughest day, the start of the week. But if you can get your Monday sorted, get your week right, you can achieve a lot of great things.

Yeah, and thanks to Instagram. We pull a lot of motivation from Instagram, don't we? And this I found really interesting. It's about having value in yourself and appreciating your own value. Have a listen. A bottle of water at Costco is $0.25. The same bottle in the supermarket is worth about 50 cents. The same bottle at a fast food place, they'll cost $2. In a good restaurant or hotel, it could be worth up to $3. At an airport or on the plane,

you may be charged $5. Now listen, the bottle and the brand is the same. The only thing that changes is the place. So each place gives a different value to the same product. So when you feel like you are not worth much and everyone around you belittles you, change places. Do not stay there. Have the courage to change places and go to a place where you are given the value that you deserve. Surround yourself with people who really appreciate your work. Don't settle for less. You are worthy. There you go.

Bottle of water. Same bottle of water. It's very true. You can get it at varying different prices and places. You know, all I took away from that is we're getting ripped off for bottle of water here in New Zealand. 25 cents for a bottle of water in America. But here's a random guy in a high-vis vest on Instagram. But very good.

You know, you're not being appreciated, Ben. Well, that's right. Same bottle of water. But the value, you know, is different value placed in different places. Beautiful analogy, isn't it? It's like you're in the wrong place if you're not getting that value. Where would you places, you know? Beautiful analogy, isn't it? You're in the wrong place if you're not getting that value. Where would you put me

if I was to be put in a shop? Where would you put me? Like that ratty old gold house across the road from the casino? The knock-off jewelry section? Yeah, me could be there. I'll put you in the $1, $2, and $3 and more store. I don't know,

maybe you'd be more than the $1, you know? But hey, that's good. Definitely between $1 and $3. Yeah, that's definitely where I'd put you. Hey, after 7 o' the $1, you know, but hey, it's got a point. Definitely between $1 and $3. Yeah, that's right. Definitely where I put you. Hey, after 7 o'clock this morning Gavin Gray's back with us from the UK. The family are all gathering for the Queen's funeral today

and some tense times with Prince Harry being uninvited to official events, having signatures ripped off his suit. How would you feel if you were Harry, Ben? Yeah, well I guess it's probably a little mixed. I mean, you feel a bit like on the outside, but at the same time, he kind of has left the royal family,

so there's got to be some things he's not part of as well. And Andrew gets still. Yeah, true. Okay, as soon as you throw that back in, I'll be like, yeah, I'll be a bit. What more does a man have to do? Yeah. Just a couple of dads screaming on the sidelines of their kids' sports games. Jono and Ben on the hits.

We're in Invercargill this morning, coming to you from the Batch Cafe. Now, if you want to come down, get a free coffee, more than welcome. Free coffee and spin our cash wheel, 20 bucks up for grabs each time you spin the cash wheel. And it's apology cash, let's be honest, because we haven't been to Invercargill. We thought we want to come in and we want to pay the people off to pretend like we're good people. Now, the ASB Classic, the tennis back in January next year. It's so good to see it back after COVID. The superstars of international tennis are going to be live in Auckland.

You can get your tickets for the ASB Classic at tickertech.co.nz. I saw it in the news last week too. World number two, Kasper Ruud, is coming to the ASB Classic. That's awesome. I dare hope that when they invited Casper to the tournament, he said, well, it would be rude not to. I hope that's how the conversation went. Or the organisers went, Casper would be rude if he didn't turn up.

Or there was some sort of rude pun in there. Yeah, I see a rude pun. He wasn't ghosting them either, Casper, as well, with the reply. ASB Classic, but it's great. Oh, we've been there a couple of years ago. It was such a good event. Wonderful hospitality, world-class tennis, plenty of entertainment. It's really, really awesome.

I'll tell you what would be classic. If ASB stopped harassing me for my overdraft, that would be ASB Classic. But we're going to play a game of word tennis now. Thank you, Producer Joel. He's in Auckland, but he's still hitting them beats. Producer Joel, and who have we got on the phone? Corey's on line one. Corey, welcome. You're in Auckland, and

is it Penny in Monaco? I believe it's Penny. You might have to see. Is it Penny on line two? Penny. Listen, mate, I don't know how you were taught producing at radio school there, Joel, but what we try to do is we try to get the names off here

and not have this whole conversation play out in a weird awkward moment. A technical malfunction. Give me a break. It's a Monday morning too. Corey, Penny, we're going to play word tennis, guys. Double pass to the ASB Classic up for grabs. So, Ben, you've got to come up with a topic, and each of you have to fire one off to each other.

So one for one until someone can't think of one or it takes too long. Should we give them three seconds to answer? Yes, let's do it. Okay, the word tennis. Well, because we've travelled from Auckland to Invercargill, let's go New Zealand cities. Cities or towns? I'll take cities or towns.

Okay. Starting with you, Penny and Manukau. Go. Christchurch. Auckland. Wellington. Auckland. Wellington. Queenstown. Rangura.

Nelson. Picton. Whakatane. Blenheim. Honoparoa. Kaikoura. Raglan. Taupo.

Rangaroa. Kaipoi. I should have done towns. Yeah, no, we've gone too long.'re going. Kaikoura. Raglan. Taupo. Rokuroa. Kaipui. Jeez, I should have done Towns. Yeah, no, we've gone too long now. Keep going. Oh, yeah. Oh! He got it too long!

He smashed it! It was too long! To be honest, halfway through that I was thinking this is too long, but that was well done. Corey there winning the game of Word Tennis will give you a double pass to the ASB Classic. And Penny, you don't walk away empty-handed either. Thank you.

We're going to give you hell pizza vouchers there, Penny. Well done. I appreciate you guys. Sorry, guys. I shouldn't have done cities and towns. I thought that was on me, guys. But hey, it was a fun week over tennis. Great volley, great rally, and you can catch more great rallies at the ASB Classic when it returns to Auckland week over tennis. Great volley, great rally. And you can catch more great rallies at the ASB Classic when it returns to Auckland January next year.

The Hit. We're in Invercargill this morning at the Batch Cafe serving the finest Southland sushi, a.k.a. cheese rolls. We're going to try one for the first time in about five minutes. Do you know people are coming dressed up as cheese rolls, Ben, to the cafe? They're coming dressed up as bits of, they look, I said it earlier, they look a little bit like they've come dressed as condoms, wrapped in bread.

True. Which doesn't work, does it? Imagine a latex thing wrapped in bread, and that's kind of what the costume is. But they look amazing, don't they, Kat?

The owner here is going to get us to try one of their world. She really committed. From six o'clock this morning, she's been wearing that cheese roll costume. And just given the way that, obviously, it's bread this morning, she's been wearing that cheese roll costume. And just given the way that obviously it's bread wrapped around, she's got no use of her arms. So she can't work, can't make coffee. Maybe it's a great ploy

to get out of working for the morning. We'll try one very surely, but right now... Scrolling through your feed. Here comes our news baker, putting out his steaming hot news buttons. What's going on, Ben? Well, football star and celebrity David Beckham, one of the many thousands who paid his respects to the Queen over the weekend. You would have seen the footage.

He waited in line. He went there at two in the morning and waited in line with the people for over 12 hours. Pretty incredible. Really incredible. And what I appreciated is by the time he actually got into Westminster Abbey to see the coffin, he looked so tired and dishevelled.

His hair was out of place. I've never seen David Beckham look like it. He looked like he and dishevelled. His hair was out of place. I've never seen David Beckham look like it. He looked like he'd been waiting in line for 12 hours and having about 4 million selfies with people. He was offered an invitation from an MP to Q-Jump, but he decided not to. His granddad was a big royalist. He said his granddad would have waited in line.

He wanted to pay respect to not only the Queen, but also his granddad as well. Turned up in a wonderful suit with a little hat as well, because that's what his grandad would have worn. He was dressed to the nines. He looked like a cast member from Peaky Blinders. Yeah. He met the Queen on many occasions.

She'd given him an OBE as well. So he's been and met the Queen. He could have Q-jumped, but good on him for not. Doesn't that melt your heart that he waited? Yeah. What a great guy. David Beckham. And he should be knighted for services to punishment for 12 hours.

He would have had a lot of selfies, you would imagine, right? And so many news crews coming up, hey, David Beckham. Imagine the first time someone went, is it David Beckham? Is it David Beckham? Is it David Beckham? And some brave soul went up to him and said, are you David Beckham? From that moment on, it would have just been a downhill slide. We'll have more with what's happening over there in the UK

before 8 o'clock this morning with our rural correspondent, Gavin Gray. But Jason Momoa, Game of Thrones, you'll know him from Aquaman as well, if you're in the US, or Aquaman if you're in New Zealand. He got a brand-new hair tattoo. He jumped on a plane in Hawaii, and he flew to New Zealand, and he was pretty stoked at the airport he uh he did a wee video coming to new zealand hawaiian airlines proud to be hawaiian pride to ride hawaiian airlines the best part is it goes to new zealand finally again it's been

like two years since uh since they were able to go because of covid so hawaiian airlines i love you for this thank you for that Hawaiian Airlines commercial Jason Momoa yeah he's filming over here in New Zealand an Apple TV Plus series called

Chief of War he was screened at the airport in Auckland with a porphyry and then he went and met the All Blacks the All Blacks

had lots of photos with him and he's a big dude but next to the All Blacks he just looks like a reggae they all look around about the same size you couldn't mix and mingle with that crowd you would look out of sorts no All Blacks he just looks like a reggae they all look around about the same you know about the same

size. Like you couldn't mix and mingle with that crowd you would look out of sorts. No but I mean he still looks big but compared to the All

Blacks he has players that are bigger than him and he was Aquaman you know like it was huge. Or Aquaman. Yeah or Aquaman in New Zealand as well.

He seems like a lovely guy Jason. And he loves New Zealand he has a real connection to New Zealand obviously through Hawaii and stuff as well but he

reckons he feels like when he's here he feels like he's home, which is pretty cool. Which is how we feel when we're in Invercargill. I feel like I'm home, and not a wanker Aucklander who's come down here to try and make good with the local people. But we are at the Batch Cafe this morning.

Free coffee, free cash, you can spin our cash wheel. Are you all having a good time, Batch Cafe? They are, Ben. They are. They are. There's a lot of people flowing through, so come on down, get your free coffee, get your free cash. You've been listening to a podcast from The Hits.

For more audio, search up Megan Puppis on the 3pm pickup or Brad and Laura on The Hits. Available now on the iHeartRadio app.