Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: Jono Cleaned His Teeth With Voltaren Emulgel

Episode Date: March 16, 2022

And that, my dear friends, gives you an in insight into a man who doesn't get enough sleep! Speaking of sleep, we spoke about how The Rock only sleeps 4 hours a night, and turns out a bunch of our listeners also sleep TOO LITTLE!! THIS IS BAD! Finally, Ben's daughter Indie brought up a very good point about the way that we all say RAT tests. Betcha never thought about it! Enjoy.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's with the Jono and Ben podcast. 17th of March, it's a Thursday, it's St. Patrick's Day. Yes. Have you ever been a big supporter, big celebrator of St. Patrick's Day? No, not that I'm against St. Patrick's Day or anything like that, but I haven't been. I mean, I've probably been out for a couple of beers, you know, in previous years. Yeah, you got swept up in the mad, like the Melbourne Cup. But not in the madness of like like, to the extent of...

Having breakfast or something. And getting dressed up and all sorts of stuff. For people that celebrate it, I mean, particularly if you're Irish, it's a huge day. Yeah, it is a wonderful day. I do remember a golden era of commercial radio where St Patrick's Day would roll by and the representatives of Guinness

would visit the radio station with Guinness and a huge oversized novelty hat. Just enormous. Oh, yes. An enormous hat. And a lot of the breakfast hosts would start drinking sort of 7.30, 8am. You know, and it sort of resulted in a shaky last hour of the show for many of them across the market.

So I think they've put a stop to that now. Yeah, St. Patrick wasn't actually patronised as such by a Pope. So he wasn't officially made a saint of sorts. So there's always a bit of a question mark hanging over his category of being a saint. Oh, really? Yeah, it's kind of like, you know, maybe he made himself a saint, much like Brian Parmicky's made himself an apostle. Right, so he wasn't actually a saint as such.

Well, not officially. But then he's been recognised as a saint. Yeah, I mean, he did some stuff. Yeah. He chased all the snakes out of Ireland. Yeah, apparently he did. How many snakes were in Ireland? Yeah.

Must have been thousands, one by one. How did he get rid of the snakes? I don't know. Do you want me to Google it? Yeah, have a Google. I vaguely remember a baseball bat. Was that a Simpsons episode? That was Wacking Day, wasn't it?

That's right. Sorry, that wasn't the story of St. Patrick. Maybe it did. Of the snakes. How did he get rid of them all? Well, it looked like he was doing a 40-day fast. Big shred, big shred. Yeah, and according to the stories, Patrick drove the snakes into the sea after they attacked him during a 40-day fast.

So he was up on top of a hill, they attacked him, and he managed to somehow drive them all into the sea. How many snakes are we talking here? I don't know. Thousands. All the snakes that were on an island, they all left. He got rid of them. Because islands are sort of out on a side, it's an island, isn't it? Big giant island.

Oh, yeah. So they must have just gone, yeah, there was nowhere else, they couldn't have gone anywhere else through, you know, the UK or Europe, you know, they couldn't have gone to Spain or anywhere. Right. So, yeah, because, I mean. Great achievement. It is a great achievement.

Yeah, I mean, I'd make myself a saint after doing something like that. Well, are they in other areas of, so maybe there's no they in other areas? So maybe there's no snakes in Ireland. It's kind of like there's no snakes in New Zealand type thing, right? Yeah. But then there's snakes in the UK as such, you know, like in England. Well, they're not famous for their snakes. Australia, that seems to me like a snake country. UK, what would you?

Oh, there are three native species of snake in Britain. The adder, the grass snake, and the smooth snake. We got to experience some... We've talked about this. Big pythons or whatever they were. Yeah, put around our necks when we were like bee feeders. I don't know why we had to have snakes around our necks. Oh, we did some stuff.

We did some stuff back in the day, Ben. Don't think too hard about it. I thought you had a strike. There was one time I looked over here because she just kind of went... I was like, oh my God, he's having a stroke. I mean, none of us were comfortable

with a snake around their neck. No. But let alone the lady that turned up with it in a Tupperware sort of container with snakes. She was a lovely lady, but you know when you're like,

oh, you're a reptile person. You can tell a reptile person. We met a lady who was doing a promotion in an ice cream shop once. Turned up with a skink. That's right. It was blue, wasn turned up with a skink that's right

it was blue wasn't it the skink she was just carrying it around you could tell she was a big fan of reptiles just carried it around in her handbag didn't it we held the skink didn't we I was like oh you know hold it and you're not like you're not 100 you're not fully comfortable in that situation

I was just thinking of it latching onto my neck or my Adam's apple do you reckon if you grow up around like in Australia and places where there are more snakes I'm not fully comfortable in that situation. No, no, no. I was just thinking of a latch onto my neck or my Adam's apple. Do you reckon if you grow up around, like in Australia and places where there are more snakes, you are more comfortable in that environment? We spoke to a lady on the radio. Remember, it fell from the ceiling in Darwin or something. A giant python.

Yeah, landed on top of her on the bed and she was in her face. She's like, push it off, we're back to sleep. Yeah. I suppose you wouldn't be because sometimes you see those videos on YouTube of like a giant crocodile walking up and a guy will just kick it away with his foot and go, get out of here, mate. Yeah, true. I suppose they probably smell fair. Yeah. That's the thing.

It's like our upper management. They can smell fair. They're not meant to show fair, but we do every time upper management come down or a snake, you know. Are you comparing management to snakes? No. Oh, jeez. Oh, that Are you comparing management to snakes? No, no. Geez, oh, that's not good for contract renewal. No, no, definitely not.

Because it sounded like you. You used them in the same sentence. No, I was just saying they have, oh God, I'm digging myself a big hole here. We had a really fun show today on the program. We had a really fun show today. We got talking about Dwayne The Rock Johnson, who sleeps just four hours per night, and we chucked the question out there, do you sleep talking about Dwayne The Rock Johnson, who sleeps just four hours per night.

And we checked the question out there, do you sleep less than Dwayne The Rock Johnson? And wow, there's a lot of people out there running on empty. Someone who's watching a lot of TikTok. Like his day is centered around TikTok consumption. Oh, four hours of TikTok. That's a lot of TikTok. I'm concerned for him. I'm concerned

for the Wi-Fi in his area. I do love TikTok but you know, maybe I need to up my game a little bit. Four hours. And also we spoke to a sleeping expert who I found really interesting. Yeah. What you can do if you are having a hard time sleeping, there's a simple fix. And also, what is the

appropriate amount of time we all need for sleep? And if you do consistently get less than that, it can have some serious health effects later in life. I know. So have a listen to that. It's all on the podcast today. Enjoy. Jono and Ben. Breakfast on the hits.

Hey, welcome along. Great to have everyone here. Did you guys have a nice day yesterday? Yeah, not too bad. Juliet said she went out for dinner and laid the hammer down. No, I didn't. I had two wines and then I had a shocking night's sleep. I know, I really, really went

wild last night. It's probably quite wild for you though, isn't it? Yeah, it is. A weeknight having two wines. Oh my gosh, I know. Yeah, no, you can't do it during the week. Not with this gig. It's hard waking up after something like that. You know, there's like a function on a Thursday night. Not that we go to functions.

Functions don't really happen anymore. No, but, you know, we used to go to functions. Even when we could go to functions, I didn't go to many functions. But the one time I went to a function and I woke up the next morning going, jeez, I don't know how people would do it. You know, full respect to those who can, you know, party at night and get up first thing in the morning. Push on through.

Apparently Holmes was a machine, Paul Holmes. Really? He would work at both ends of the day, go out for dinner, host a function, emcee, he'd be up late at night, then he's up first thing in the morning. Jeez. Yeah. No, he was a legend, Paul Holmes. He did it for many years.

Now, can you tell I've completely forgotten what I was meant to be talking about? I was like, well, you've really gone deeper You wanted to talk about your bedside drawer Oh, yes That's right, sorry At the same time you talked about not going to functions That was good Where is he really getting involved in this function chat? For a guy who never goes to functions

Have you noticed really have you noticed have you got a bedside table Ben I've got a little we've got like a little locker like it's like a little locker

sports locker on each side that's quite cool are you a changing room no they're quite cool you get them from like departments they're actually designed for bedtimes table

but it's the design of a sports locker yeah nice little pink one of those each put your dirty clothes in there and you can change yeah yeah great uh well i've got a bedside table and in there is a drawer and i don't know if you do this with your locker or your drawer but you just end up putting the most obscure items in this drawer

if there's nowhere you can put any item you can't figure out you just chuck it in your bedside drawer and everything piles up yeah i've got playing cards bottle openers old cell phone charger cables laptop cable just everything so is this kind of like an out of sight out of mind sort of it's a salvation army of drawers it's just a mishmash of stuff do you have the same yeah i actually because i moved back home recently and i did a big clear out of my room and like went through all of the drawers and just was brutal and just chucked out heaps so at the moment the state of my drawer is actually really good it's got just like a couple of books and i'm asked like everything that a bedside table should have yeah i've got a lot of broken watches too just watches that have kind of run out over the last 15 20 years that i thought

i'll take those to the watch person and get them repaired and you never do it. You don't do that though, do you? Right. The other classic is, and not so much nowadays, but it used to be the third drawdown in the kitchen which you would shove with pack and save single use plastic bags.

Remember? To the point where you had so many you couldn't even shut it and they would slip behind the drawer and you couldn't shut the drawer properly. You're right. All sorts of rubbish you'd put in there too. Not so much. You're right. Can't do it now.

Can't do it now. We had a bag for the bags, for the plastic bags at one stage. That was the thing. It was like the bag bag. And you'd put the plastic bags in the bag. Now you're like, oh, not having plastic bags in the house. Yeah. Unless you've got a dog.

I remember that was the first thing my mother complained about when they got rid of the supermarket plastic bags. What am I going to do to pick up the dog poo? Oh my God. I'm going to have to use my hands. I miss single-use plastic bags. Can I say that? Okay. Put my good name to it.

I miss it. And I miss plastic straws. The paper ones, they get all soggy. Yeah, I know what you mean. They make your lips feel strange. Scrolling through your feed. Listen, he's dedicated a large part of his life to trawling through the internet for stories we can read on the radio.

Some would say it's a waste of time. I wouldn't because this is Ben Boyce with Scrolling Through Your Feed. Now, New Zealand's going to open its borders. It's opened its doors to vaccinated Australians on the 12th of April. And then from late May May those from visa waiver countries, that's good, there's some tourists that are going to be coming back into New Zealand which is a really good sign, you know there's a lot of

tourism places hurting but David Seymour from the ACT Party he always has great lines doesn't he and last night on the news he had this to say The Prime Minister is dragging out the border opening decision longer than the saga of whether Ross and Rachel were on a break. He would have had a think tank.

Okay, what things have dragged out? What have we got there? Ross and Rachel. Lord of the Rings, it was long. No, no, no, no. Yeah, true. He's a maestro at getting those little quips on the news. Well, he always gets, yeah, you're right.

He gets used on the news because he sees a little something like that and you're like, that's good, we'll put that on. But there's exciting times, isn't it? Yeah. What about unvaccinated people?

Can they travel around the world? I'm not too sure because I know there's some flights you have to take within domestically you have to prove you're negative to COVID if you're not.

I know that the UK is pretty much opening up completely, I think, to vaccinate. Yeah, vax, unvax, like just anything. I think in the US as well, I was talking to a mate who lives there and he's like, we don't have COVID here.

That's how he's like taking the, that's kind of the mentality of some of the people. We don't have COVID. And everyone mocks Trump when he said, let's just pretend it's not a thing. Don't report on the numbers. And now a year later. It's not COVID, it's not covered, just get a

bath. But I've got a cough. Honestly, you see anything from the States on social, no masks. I'm watching Israel Adesanya, wanders around, busy nightclubs, bars, whatever, there's nothing. Just pretend it's not there. Don't report on the numbers, we don't know what's happening.

It's a very good sign that hopefully the pandemic's on its way out. I mean, it over yet but you know but hopefully it's a good sign ignorance is bliss isn't it it's the way to go well exciting times and great for the tourism industry as well and hopefully we'll get a few aussies over here yeah and then we'll start moaning about how there's too many aussies here about six months later just quickly our woman in the states has been uh left scratching her head so her friend invited her over for dinner at her house. She brought over a bottle of wine. They had a lovely couple of servings of pasta.

They had a lovely evening. And then she got a message from a friend later going, hey, that'll be $20. So she got, here's my bank account details. That'll be $20 for the meal. Wow. So this person had cooked the meal. Is this friend Ben Boyce? No.

That feels like a Boyce play. That is controversial. It is, yeah. And so she was like. Where's the generosity? She was like, well, she paid it. But she was like, but then obviously that's something in their friendship that they may not go back on. But a lot of people as well said she should have charged for the wine that she also brought over.

And, you know, like, where do you end? The service? Yeah. The service of their food? I suppose when you go to someone's house, you don't expect to have to pay recommended retail value, do you? No. Someone also wrote on the comments,

I went to a dinner party once. Someone put on a lovely meal. It was lobster. Then afterwards, it was $75 each. Oh, my God. It's a pricey lobster too. Well, hang on. But I didn't,

I didn't, you know. I would have gone to a proper restaurant if I'd known I had to pay. You always have a little bit of a bone of contention.

You like to take the wine home, don't you? When there's a quarter of a bottle left. I went to do that once and my wife's like, no,

you put that back in the thing. I'm like, are they going to? And even, I was like, do you want the wine? They're like, no, no, we don't want it.

And you're like, but even still, you're like, we've got to leave it here because we can't be seen to walk out of it. You raise a fair point. Because it's not often the home owner drinks, you know, the quarter of the bottle of rosé that's left in the fridge. Leave that there. I want to drink that. Yeah, you're right. So, yeah, you raise a good point there. And then you try and take half-drunk bottles of wine to functions as well.

And that's another pressure point. So I'm learning. We're all learning these days. You can't charge someone $20 for a meal. I've learned that as well. It'd be great for Christmas time, eh? All of your family, you send out the bill after everyone's attended. And that is Scrolling to Your Feed this morning.

You're running late, stuck in traffic, and now you have to listen to this. Jono and Ben on the hits. Producer Bee Humps yesterday drove to Tauranga to pick up a car he's purchased, Coming late, stuck in traffic, and now you have to listen to this. Jono and Ben, on the hits. Producer Bee Humps yesterday drove to Tauranga to pick up a car he's purchased. And he left Auckland, drove to Tauranga, bought his togs, went for a swim at Mount Maunganui, got back in the car and drove back to Auckland. Yeah, like a really quick swim. Pretty much just dived in, dived out, back in the car on his way.

Oh, well, I'm back. I'm back to Auckland then. It was a lovely swim. He got lost in an internet hole yesterday. John is internet wormhole. And listen, I don't have a leg to stand on because today's one is about legs and what your legs say about you. Now sitting down, everyone,

there's probably about six to eight different positions you can have with your legs when you're on a chair. And they're quite telling about someone's personality. So the spread eagle i'm a spread eagle where you just got your legs wide right they're not crossed over yeah uh you're an open book now this i think you'll appreciate this is what it says about uh the spread eagle's personality aka mine as well it can be annoying the chris hipkins spread your legs

trademarked it says it can be annoying sitting next to someone with spread legs. They can be annoying in personality. But they are impatient and they struggle to concentrate for long periods. Has that just ticked all the boxes? Crossing your ankles. So you've kind of got your ankles, you've both legs leaning to one side. And a little cross the ankles, yeah. It's royalty.

Crossing your ankles is what all of the royals do. It makes you refined and elegant, but you appear open and down to earth. And apparently relaxes all of the other sitters in the room. The crossed legs, so you've just got one leg over your knee. You're open. You're carefree shows that you're physically open to new ideas okay what do you do i probably like i mixed it up but i do actually find it quite comfy putting one leg over the top yeah i'm the same i've really developed that over the last couple of years i'm like yeah it didn't used to be but i quite enjoy

that when you're a kid did you hear that thing where you watch your parents and you're like i really want to cross my legs to appear like more of an adult. But you just can't. As a kid, it's an interesting look, isn't it? Yeah. Sometimes when you have just the leg draped over the other leg, so it's quite a tight sort of cross as well. I always wanted to do that as a kid.

I thought that made you appear a lot more sophisticated than you were. Another one here is the, well, it's not so much about legs, but sitting down where you have both of your arms on both of the armrests. Do you use both armrests and relax your arms on both armrests? Oh, maybe one, maybe more of a one, you know. I always feel a bit conscious when you're sitting at the movies or you're sitting on a plane. You're like, I can't dominate both of these.

Well, double armrests, users, they are sensitive and they're always aware of their surroundings. And the side saddle, where you sit with your knees on the side, means you're delicate and caring. Okay. What about if you're in the car and you're in the passenger seat and you put your feet up on the dash? What about that? You're rude and arrogant. And you put your feet Up on the dash What about that? You're rude And arrogant

But it's so comfy Now you're a feet Dashboard guy Oh well no Try not to In another people's car But when they're in our car And I'm sitting in the passenger

Really? You know I'm walking Oh it's comfy On a long trip Do you know what he does In my car He leaves his banana peels In the door

You know that little pocket In the door That son of a bitch Has left his banana peels. I don't do it on purpose. I just go, I'll put that there for later. Then three days later I'm like, why does my car smell like rotting banana? Oh, there we go.

Boyce with his banana peels again. She's just solved Wordle on the second attempt. She did too. She's very happy aboutle on the second attempt. And now she could... She did too. She's very happy about that. I'm very happy about that. And now she could spend time concentrating on her actual job.

As Julie, it was Spy. If you ever wondered what we do in the songs, it's things like that. So Dolly Parton has decided not to accept the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame nomination. So she was up there and she posted a statement on social media saying that she's going to withdraw herself from the nominations. And she feels like she's very flattered,

but feels like she's not worthy enough to be. It's only Parsons not worthy. She didn't want to split the votes or something as well. It's interesting because originally I thought, oh, maybe she didn't consider herself rock and roll. But in the last few years, they've opened it up to, I mean, Eminem's nominated this year as well. I think Rage Against the Machine, you know,

there's a lot of different people. Multi-genre. Yeah, so it's not just, it's people that have made a huge influence on music is what they consider. Which you'd think Dolly Parton would have a huge interest in. She has composed more than 3,000 songs. Maybe she's waiting until she gets to 5,000, then she's like, oh, now I'm worthy.

She seems like such a sweetheart, Dolly Parton. I know, I know. Do you know she's got a theme park called Dolly World? That's right. Really? I did not know that. Yeah, it's like Disneyland, except Dolly Parton. It's humongous.

Really? Yeah. And's humongous. Really? Yeah. And what would the rides be? Would they just be, like, themed on her different songs or something? I don't know. I've seen on TV shows, like, a big merry-go-round and things like that. So it's like a theme park, yeah. Oh, my gosh.

You'd definitely go on a boat down the islands in the stream or something. Yeah, well, they should. That is true. She did say that she hopes that the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame will understand and be willing to consider her again if she's ever worthy in the future. And I think also she said that this has inspired her to make a bit more rock music as well. So she'll probably be doing that. When would Dolly Parton feel worthy, though?

I don't know. If you don't feel worthy now. I know. I know, exactly. And the BAFTAs were on the other day, and the host was Rebel Wilson. She made a bit of a dig towards Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith's marriage, which we've seen in the headlines a lot over the last few years. So Will won Best Film Actor for his role in King Richard.

But Rebel said this. Personally, I thought his best performance in the past year has been being okay with all of his wife's boyfriends. What? Come on, he didn't show up. Mixed reaction there from the audience? Yeah, people are like, oh. I always find it so awkward they have the cameras right in people's faces.

Oh, yeah. You know, like how they're going to react. It's really hard, you know, because in the room you probably want to be supportive of the person hosting, but at the same time it's just a joke that you're like, oh, I'm not on board with this. Yeah, I know. You're cringing away. I know. The other fear would be if you've got a camera just a joke that you're like, oh, I'm not on board with this. Yeah, I know. You're cringing away.

I know. The other fear would be if you've got a camera in your face and you're like, oh, damn it, there's going to be a jibe coming up about me. It's on me. I've got to appear cool with this. You can't make a joke about anyone nowadays, though, can you? I know, I know. Will did say after that happened, he said,

there's never been any infidelity in our marriage. Jada and I talk about everything, and we've never surprised one another with anything ever. But they have an open relationship, so they're probably just very open with the people they hang out with. And they're very open on that Red Table talk, which is their online or her online show, isn't it? Yeah, on Facebook, yeah.

Have you seen King Richard? No. Apparently it's amazing. No, I haven't. I've seen a little. I'm not fully. I'm very good at just watching the background of what my flatmates are watching. So I get little bits and it looks very good.

Yeah, I do that with Ben when he's watching stuff. What are you watching, mate? On an airplane. He doesn't put his screen on. He just watches my screen. What are you up to? You can watch this on your screen. But anyway, he doesn't.

Tell me what's happening. And then he has to keep pulling his one headphone off. I do. I'm like. Hey, what was that? What were you up to? Oh, this guy's just about to. And then he tries to put his headphone back on

and get on with it 10 minutes later. What's happening? He's like, hey. It's true, actually. Grade A plane punisher. And that is five for this hour. For more, you can head to the hits.co.nz. The great thing about listening to this show

is that the day can only get better from here. Jono and Ben on the hits. We were talking a little bit this week about The Rock's unusual sleep habits. He only sleeps for about four hours a night, he reckons, from about midnight to four o'clock, so we wanted to open up the phones. 0800 THE HITS is our number or 4487 on the text. Do you sleep less than The Rock a night, or maybe you've got a really unusual sleeping pattern?

Yeah, 12 to 4, just only four hours a night. I know he was in Fast and Furious, and he clearly sleeps Fast and Furious as well. You wouldn't have enough energy, I wouldn't imagine. 4 hours a night? Yeah, it can't be good for you in the long run, you'd think, right? Maybe it's his muscles don't let him sleep. They're like, mate, we haven't lifted anything in 4 hours.

Get up, go to the gym. He works hard, though. That's his thing. He's like, I'll always be the hardest worker in the room. And I guess that's concluding the bedroom when he's sleeping at night. He's like, I'm not going to sleep getting up. I'm going to do some press-ups. The most efficient sleeper ever.

That's why he's married, isn't he? Yeah, he is married. His wife must be like, shit, mate, you're a nightmare. He's up at, you watch his Instagram. He's up at midnight. He's having, you know. Throwing weights around at four o'clock in the morning, sleeping for 20 minutes. Yeah, but he's getting stuff done, isn't he?

He'd definitely be an active relaxer, like you a little bit, Ben, where he wouldn't be ahead, always be doing something, you know? Yeah, me and The Rock would get on fine. You would. Would you? Oh, I think, well, I would.

You wouldn't be able to keep up with him, though. Yeah, true. I couldn't even lift his drink bottle at the gym. You'd be like his little, you'd be his towel boy or something. You'd love to towel him down too, wouldn't you? Oh, yeah. And pat that down.

Yeah, spare a thought for The Rock's wife, actually. I've never thought about the poor lady. She's living with this guy with his wife. He's eating bloody steak at 12.30 in the morning. His cheap meals and his, yeah. Eating 49 burgers every Sunday night. So, yes, 0800, that's the telephone number. Are you getting any less sleep than The Rock?

You can text 24487. Have we got one? We've got an early caller. This never happens. Ben's on the phone. How are you? Yeah, good mate. How are you? Yeah, good. Sleep per night, are you getting any less or the same amount of sleep as Dwayne The Rock Johnson? About the same

mate. Four hours. Four hours sleep and you function fine with that you think? Yeah, a few coffees and a few energy drinks and good to go. So you're consciously trying to stay awake. What's the reason? Well, yeah, we go to bed about 10 o'clock at night but

about two in the morning I get to sleep because I watch TikTok and I get quite into flicking through TikTok. Yeah, get into all the misinformation. You get into a wild hole of TikTok just watching videos but that's a good four hours of TikTok. That's a lot through TikTok. Yeah, get into all the misinformation. You get into a wild hole of TikTok just watching videos, but that's a good four hours of TikTok. That's a lot of TikTok. There must be not many videos on TikTok you haven't seen.

Nah, there's a few. There's more coming every day. What is the good four hours? So every night you're digesting four hours of TikTok. Oh, yeah. It's either go to bed at 10 and wake up at 3 and then watch TikTok till 6 or the other way around

it's just a habit I think Ben, that's an obscene amount of TikTok there's so much TikTok. What's been the best video you've seen on TikTok? Oh, probably can't say it on the radio but that little finger has like Johnny's finger or something and he gives the old man the fingers. I haven't seen little

Johnny's finger. I don't know if I want to see Johnny Finger. Nah, it's pretty good, mate. And have you got a TikTok account or you're just a viewer? Oh, no, just a viewer. My missus has got a TikTok account, but, you know, I'm just a viewer. Jeez, you're hooked on TikTok. Oh, yeah, mate, yeah. Do you ever think you need to go to a rehab or something to get away from TikTok?

Well, I don't know. If I delete the app, I might get the shake, so. Is it like just an automatic default when you're not doing anything else? You're looking at that. Yeah. Yeah, and even at lunchtime at work, you know, it's half an hour watching TikTok. That's the thing you can do. You can with social media.

You just get, you know, you go into a bedroom to do, like, I'm going to fold washing and then you end up looking at your phone for 20 minutes. Oh, yeah. Do you, have you got Instagram? Yeah, you got Instagram, yeah. And then you end up looking at your phone for 20 minutes. Have you got Instagram? Yeah, I've got Instagram, yeah. And do you get on that as well or just TikTok? Oh, nah. Nah, just TikTok. Man, he loves TikTok.

Nothing can ever happen to TikTok. Purely for Ben. It went down a little while ago and I got a little bit worried about TikTok. You're like, oh God, what's going to happen? I'll get my four hours a day. Oh, good on you, Ben, God, what's going to happen? I'll get my four hours a day. Oh, good on you, Ben. Well, there you go.

He's relinquishing his sleep for TikTok content. That's amazing. Have a great night. You too, mate. Cheers. That is wild. Yeah, can you beat that? Oh, Andrew, that's the most unusual sleeping patterns.

We'll talk more next. Jono and Ben. We're talking sleep, unusual sleeping cycles. There's a lot of people out there that only sleep for a very small amount of time. Well, Dwayne The Rock Johnson, four hours. And we just spoke to Ben before, who has dedicated a huge amount of his life to TikTok viewing, and he only gets four hours of sleep a night.

I'm probably getting five and a half to six, you? Yeah, about the same. Ever since starting this job, you just operate at permanent varying levels of tiredness. We're trying to catch up a little bit at the weekends if you can, but can you bank sleep? We'll find out very

shortly with the sleep expert as well. Jasmine. Good morning. How are you, jazz apples, alright? I'm good, how are you? Do love me a jazz apple. They're good, aren't they? Do you like a jazz apple? No, I prefer my Royal Gala. Oh, yeah.

I'd take a Royal Gala over jazz apple, but both are good. Wonderful, wonderful varieties of apple. But Jasmine, we're just here talking about, does anyone get less sleep than Dwayne the Rock Johnson? And your mother does. My mama, yeah. How many hours sleep is she getting a night? She gets two if she's lucky.

Two hours? Really? Yeah. Does she operate fine off two hours of sleep? Most days, yeah. Sometimes she'll be lucky to have a nap during the day. But other than that, she can go days without sleep. Really? Yeah. Insomnia is a a terrible wonderful

thing so she can go days with no sleep at all what is she like she fatigued on day two or three she can be yeah because you think the body would get tired so tired that would just have to sleep but obviously it does doesn't happen sometimes unfortunately. Unfortunately not, yeah. Oh, poor thing. She must really struggle with that. Can you take medication, like sedatives and things? She does. Sometimes she'll take the meds and she still

can't sleep. Still awake. Is it insomnia something you always have or you build up to having? I actually don't know. Yeah, that's a good question. Because I imagine there was a period in her life as a child and whatnot, she was sleeping okay. Yeah.

I think it's been sort of later in life for her. A lot of it too, I think you'd get inside your head with it. If you didn't sleep the night before, you'd be like, oh, I've got to get some sleep tonight. You know what it's like. Yeah, sometimes when you have to get up early or something, you're like, I really need to go to sleep. You put pressure on yourself, what it's like. Yeah, sometimes when you have to get up early or something, you're like, I really need to go to sleep. You've got pressure on yourself, which would be horrible. Oh, it depends.

I can go a couple of days without sleep myself. Wow. Do you? Yeah. So what are you doing at 3 o'clock in the morning? That depends. So would you try and go to sleep and then would you get up and then do stuff or would you just go, oh, just lie in bed and just?

No, it's more like if there's things going on, I need to sort of be the person that's awake. I can stay awake for two or three days myself. Jeez, you must be. End of day two, you must be. Like being after a big weekend. I'm a lot different. I have been referred to as the energizer bunny when i don't sleep for a couple of days and that that's sort of when

things really start getting done and i'm like come on guys let's you know oh you know what needs to be done you pick up energy levels after two days awake yes do you go so if you go through the week you know what i might not sleep thursday fr you go through the week, you know what, I might not sleep Thursday, Friday, Saturday this week. Do you make that conscious decision or you just keep going? I just keep going. Wow. Thank you very much, Jasmine, for sharing that with us.

No problem. All right, she's peaking. Have you slept last night? Yes, I did. Okay, good. We've got to relax, Jasmine. We haven't got Jasmine on day two or three. No, you haven. Okay, good. We've got to relax, Jasmine. We haven't got Jasmine on day two or three. No, you haven't.

Not today. Well, you keep well out there and sleep tight. You too. Sleep expert joining us next to tell us exactly how much sleep we need to get. It is the hits. You've got Jono and Ben. The annoying ones talking between the songs. Jono and Ben on the hits.

We've just been talking about who gets the least amount of sleep listening to the show. And if anyone could beat your hero, Dwayne The Rock Johnson, who's just surviving off four hours sleep a night. Not a lot. I'm worried about my hero. You should be worried about your hero. A lot of protein pumping through those veins as well. And that energy drink that he owns.

Bizarre. Yeah. Too much. Too many. What do they drink that he owns. Bizarre. Yeah. Too much, too many, what do they put in energy drinks? Caffeine. Yeah. And we've got now a sleep expert on the phone from the Sleep Well Clinic. Dr. Alex Bartle, how are you? Very well, thank you.

Good to talk. Good to talk to you. You're a sleep expert. Well, I deal with sleep medicine and sleep problems, yes. Now, we've been hearing from people that only get a small amount of sleep a night. What is the recommendation for the amount of hours that people need? Well, there's lots of studies showing that less than six hours is really not helpful. And there's lots of studies showing that we don't function as well as we could do

if chronically, not occasionally, but chronically we have less than six hours sleep. We all have less than six hours sleep at times. We all sometimes only have one or two hours, and we get through without any great problem, but keep doing it, and you end up in strife. What's strife? Well, strife is you don't function properly. You start having micro-sleeps and micro-naps. Thinking processing becomes worse.

And, of course, long-term, which we see, particularly with someone like Margaret Thatcher, which you may remember, she said she only has four hours sleep every night. Well, she ended up with Alzheimer's, which is very commonly the situation. So long-term, really bad for the brain. Oh, really?

So Dwayne The Rock Johnson, who's getting four hours sleep a night, he could have Alzheimer's. Well it might not be good for his health wise in the long run. In the end. Right. In the end, it's not good. I mean he's a young, relatively young guy and he gets away with it. And so yes he can get away with it at the moment, but long term he's going to end up in strife. Wow.

Very rare for anybody to manage less than six hours. Some people do very rarely manage with less than six, maybe five and a half, but when you're getting down to four hours, no, that's really bad news. And we know that because young mums, for example, who are often up and down to babies for weeks, even months on end, get extremely exhausted. They get what they call baby brain. They don't function well. They get, you know, what they call baby brain. They don't function well.

They get depressed. They can't think straight, can't make decisions, and motivation drops down. So all these sort of things will eventually hit the Rock Johnson in the end. Wow, it really does. When he reaches rock bottom. Yeah, it really affects you, doesn't it? What about sleeping?

Do you recommend people nap? Like some people like napping. Some people don't nap. What do you think? Again, does it vary on the individual? Yeah, napping can be really helpful as long as you keep it reasonably short. So less than half an hour, less than 20 minutes often is a good power nap. My comment on that, though, is if you're a relatively young person,

say you're less than 70 and you're needing to nap every day, then there's something wrong with your sleep. You shouldn't need to have to nap if you're getting decent sleep at night. And so it might be quality, not enough sleep like the Rock Johnson, or it might be quality if you've got some sleep apnea. Then you might get your eight hours but still feel exhausted. So people may need to nap. And if you need to, just from a safety point of view, napping can actually be really helpful. And if you complete your nap before about 3 o'clock,

then it doesn't seem to impact greatly on your night time. But again, if you're needing to nap and you're a youngish person, you know, less than 70, then there may be something wrong with your sleep. Can you store up sleep? So over the weekend, if I'm like Sleeping Beauty, does that do me for the next five days? You sound like a battery.

No, not really. No, you can't. I mean, you're making up a bit of sleep because you may be not getting enough during the week. But, you know, you don't store it up. If you have a lousy night on Sunday night, then it's going to affect your Monday. If someone listening is having trouble sleeping, what's a simple fix that everyone can do?

Oh, that's a tough one because there are so many options where we could do. I mean, first of all, try not to go to bed too early. Always go to bed later rather than earlier. Spend more time outside. Getting outside produces a hormone serotonin, and at night serotonin converts to melatonin. So rather than taking melatonin tablets, get outside. Go for a walk.

Much better for you in the long term. Alex, Dr. Alex Bartle, really appreciate your time this morning. You have a wonderful day. Thank you very much. All the best. There you go. The show sounds a lot more intelligent. We put a doctor on it, doesn't it?

Yeah. What I've learned from that is we all need to go home and go to sleep now. Yeah. Our show probably puts a lot of people to sleep, so we're doing the right thing. Warning, this show contains references to Jono's baldness. Jono and Ben on the hits. Jeez, confronting start to the day today for me. Yeah.

I've just started using a cream on my back, you know, like a muscle-soothing cream, you know? Oh, you've had some back, much publicised back issues. We talked about you going... You've had a lot of back coverage, hasn't it? More than Timberlake back in the day. He was bringing sexy back, wasn't he? He did some good stuff in the back.

Back Street's back, you know? How is Back Street's back these days? They'd be a bit sore they'll be at the chiro wouldn't they by now they'll be getting mris with you wouldn't they so you're using this cream but i put it in my toilet bag you know and then so this morning i'm brushing my teeth and it takes me a few seconds to realize that i'm brushing my teeth with Voltaren emu gel.

Are you using a toilet bag at home? Well, you know, just like a thing where you keep all your deodorant and stuff. Yeah. Do you not use a toilet bag? I wouldn't go away. I'd never use it. Do you have like a drawer? Yeah.

I'd draw a cupboard and stuff. Yeah, I've got it all in a handy little sack. What are you, a kid living out of your car or something? Feels like... Is that not a done thing? I don't know. Maybe I'm... Do you keep your toothbrush in a little little sack. What are you, living in your car or something? Feels like... Is that not a done thing? I don't know, maybe I'm... Do you keep your toothbrush in a little toothbrush holder? Like on the...

I've got an electric toothbrush. Oh, okay. You put it away in a little toilet bag so it's good to go at any stage. Yeah, hey, listen, I didn't think... If you need to evacuate quickly... Oh, yeah, grab your toilet bag. I'm ready to go.

Get out of here, guys. I've got my shampoo. Oh, no, hang on. No, I'm right. But yeah, so that was a pretty confronting start to the morning Because it's the same And I want to send out a public service announcement Or just a message That there needs to be a hooey

Between the Colgate manufacturers And the Voltaren EmuGel manufacturers To go hey guys There needs to be a clear distinction Between our packaging here Because sleepy people First thing in the morning, they're not paying attention.

And then all of a sudden, now my teeth and tongue feel very relaxed. Well, yeah. I mean, we've talked about this before, where I've been made fun of for putting, you know, like superglue. You did Ben Pantham or something, didn't you? I put superglue in my granddad's eye. Oh, yeah. Because it was the givers' eye drops grabbing it off the top of, you know.

Shoot, that is actually. So they're exactly the same size, you know, little bottles. And it was on top of the fridge next to each other, you know. So, yeah. So you see how it happens now, don't you? You see how it happens. But no, the biggest eye opener out of this is that I'm using a toilet bag. Yeah.

And it's caught you off guard. It really did catch you off guard. Maybe I'm in the wrong. Does Jen have a toiletry bag as well do you both run one no she's on the shelves oh okay why are you putting it

on the toilet bag is your toilet bag in the state where there's like dried toothpaste all on the inside and needs a good rinse yeah no my toilet bag has seen three world wars

it's gone through the year yeah okay well I didn't realise that was going to be a thing but anyway well maybe it's not 4487 on the text are you using

toilet bag on the shelf? At home. Not when you go away. I understand that's where I do it, but hey, maybe I'm in the wrong. I'm prepared to concede on this one. 4487, toilet bag or no toilet bag at home. Five words for 5K. You're just five words away from $5,000.

It is our game of word association. We play it every morning on the hits. We give you five words. You tell us what pops into your head after each word. If all five match up with yours, you win $5,000. Now we're going to go to Christchurch and welcome on to New Zealand's Breakfast. Amelia, how are you? Hi, I'm very well, thank you.

How are you doing? You're doing well. Listen, I've unexpectedly sucker punchedpunched Ben and Juliet this morning by telling them I use a toilet bag at home. Do you use a toilet bag at home or a shelf? No, a shelf, yeah. Okay, it's raging on the text machine as well. A lot of feedback on this one as well.

It's very unusual, but hey. Seems like the odds are stacked against me. I'm in the minority here. I would have thought so too. Yeah. But hey, what do I do? Amelia. Yeah. We have $5,000 do I do? Amelia. Yeah.

We have $5,000. We want to invest that in your happiness, which is, you know, it's a shocking investment on our part. We've got no return on that one. But the game, this is your debut. Never played before. Never. And you need to match five words with one of us.

Who are you going to send into the soundproof booth? Ben. All right. Okay, Ben, boys, see if you can play Word Tinder with Amelia. If you don't match, then you can spend the rest of the day bitching to your friends about them, okay, Amelia? Yep. Here we go.

Let's get it. First word that comes into Amelia's head from Christchurch. When I say eraser. Pencil. Pencil. Word number two, all sorts. Licorice. Now the issue here is I have to type as I go

and I'm quickly realising I don't know how to spell the word licorice. But thank God for autocorrect. Air. A-I-R not E-A-R. So air is word number three. Breathe. Breathe. Collar. Coming in at number four

for Amelia. Collar? Collar, yeah. As in like a dog collar? Yeah. I'll give you a clue. He's got a dog. He might lean towards that. He's also got a collarbone as well, so I don't know what he would lock in.

Or a shirt. Dog. Dog collar He's also got some weird leather collars That he puts on in his garage So he might lock on one of those But I don't know We've got studs on them and things They're a bit strange aren't they

When we go over to his house Eh Juliet Yeah it's quite weird Yeah it is weird Car is the fifth and final word for you, Amelia. What is it? What's the word that's going into your head? Keys. Car, keys. Alright.

Boyce, let's release him out of his dungeon. Welcome. Five words that you need to match with Amelia to win her $5,000. I don't need to explain this to you. You're here every morning. Oh no, let's see. Let's just try and win $5,000 today. Okay, the first words is a razor. What comes into your head, Ben, when I say a razor?

Not a razor, a razor, one word. Yeah. Rubber. Amelia locked in pencil. Oh, of course. I must admit, Amelia, I had rubber in my head as well. But I can see why you went pencil. Yeah, no, it makes sense.

Okay. All sorts was word number two. Licorice. Air. A-I-R. Breathe. Collar. Dog.

Car. Keys. Oh! Really? Oh, we were so close. Dog? Yes. Car? Keys. Oh! Are you kidding? Oh, we were so close. Four out of five. What were you going to spend the money on, Amelia?

Oh, sorry. Oh, something fun. Well, don't think about that. You can't spend it on anything fun. No, no fun. Just missed out. Mate, I'm so sorry, but it's been a pleasure playing with you, and you go and have a great Thursday.

Thank you, you too. Another chance tomorrow morning for someone to take home the $5,000. We really need a winner this month. Yes, yes. One year, no rent, no mortgage. The hits, live free. With oneroof.co.nz. That was, of course, our song this hour that you had to listen out for.

One of your final chances because it ended tomorrow. There's no more chances to get in to get your rent or mortgage paid for an entire year thanks to oneroof.co.nz. Now, we do this draw on Monday morning, don't we? It's exciting. Yeah, one person is going to win this and clear from New Plymouth, Morena. Morena. How are you? I'm awesome now.

You could have your rent knocked off or mortgage for 12 months, Claire. That would just be amazing. Now, what would you use this money for? Well, we're building a house, so we're paying rent and a mortgage. And next year, we're bringing my kids and grandkids over for a holiday. Well, they're coming from the UK, are they? Yeah, yeah. Oh, awesome.

Yeah, kids, grandkids, parents. So, yeah, it would go towards that, I think. Oh, well, Claire, you sound like a deserving winner, and I hope you get your name pulled out tomorrow with Brad and Laura to be in that draw for Monday, okay? That would be awesome. Have you got any favourable things to say about us? Well, you know, we listen to you every morning. You're always good for a laugh.

That's great. Yeah, great. Thank you for that. Thank you. I'm sorry I bullied you into doing that. And I should do that to more callers. No, I felt good after that. That was just, anyway, you have a great day, all right, and good luck tomorrow. Thank you. See you, Kalia. Bye. Bye was just, anyway, you have a great day, all right, and good luck tomorrow. Thank you. See you, Kalia. Spy.

Spy. No WhatsApp. Spy.co.nz. Juliet, have you got any favourable things to say about us? Who does that? Juliet? So, Sandra Bullock. So, Sandra Bullock is in a movie called The Lost City,

and it stars her, Channing Tatum, Daniel Radcliffe and Brad Pitt. What a line-up. What a line-up. And she was on the Stephen Colbert show and spoke about the trailer. And there's a shot in the trailer where Sandra Bullock and Channing Tatum are in this sort of pond. They come out and Channing Tatum has got leeches all over him. And during the scene, Sandra Bullock had to look at Channing Tatum's... Beep!

There's a moment in this film, and this has been advertised. This isn't like, I'm not giving anything away. There's a moment in the ad where he's stripped to the waist and there are leeches on his back. In the movie, he drops Trow completely, and there's a moment at which he turns around so you can check the front. He does. Is that CGI?

No. You're there. Fully there. And I had to, I just, you know, I had to spend some time down there just making sure that... No leeches. No leeches?

In all honesty, when you're down there and you have two pages of dialogue, if you're looking directly at it, you'll get nothing done. So I looked... I looked at his left, I looked at his left I looked at his left thigh just like the crease between the that area and this thing and I focused more on the left inner thigh okay what an experience what an experience what you wouldn't give to be

down there right well done Sandra Bullock. The things they have to do in acting. I know. But I suppose it's your job, isn't it? It probably is like us coming to work and... No, no, I'm not going to compare anything. I'm not staring at Ben's testicles right now. It's nothing like this. No, no.

Well, good on her. Good on her for keeping it professional. She was. Like a champion. Yes, you would have been. No, anyway. I mean, Channing must have been like, oh, this is not ideal.

I've got an acting royalty down staring at my groin. At my own Sandra Bullock. What a time to be alive. And that is Spy for this hour. For more, you can head to thehits.co.nz. After 8 o'clock on the show, we're going to talk to a New Zealander who's been very passionate about trying to get a world record.

Yeah, he's made the Wall Street Journal, CNN, BBC. He's been everywhere. We've covered his journey from about six months ago. But things have taken a wee turn for the worse. We'll tell you what's happened after 8 o'clock. It is the hits. You've got Jono and Ben. Your essential listening for non-essential banter.

Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, Colin Craig-Brown, he's from the Waikato region, and he discovered a few months ago a monstrous 7.8kg potato growing in their veggie garden. Potentially the world's biggest potato. He wanted to get the world record. We've gone through the journey with him. It's been a big journey.

They've tried to verify it, send a sample overseas of the potato. Oh, jeez, I honestly feel like this potato is part of my extended family, like a cousin who I barely keep in touch with. But, you know, I want to know what's happening with it. Doug the Spud is what Colin has called the potato. Is it a world record holder? Well, there's a wee twist in the tale as the results are in. Colin joins us right now.

Good morning, you there? Yeah, mate. Oh, nice to talk to you again. We've been following this saga. This is the third time we've talked to you, right? Yeah, it's been quite a saga, right? We've been on the journey with you, Colin. Yeah.

And what is the end result now? Well, the wicked twist at the end is that he's not a potato. He's a tuber that has grown underground from a gourd plant. Was it like a hybrid type thing? What is this? You see, look, I know right at the beginning everyone was

saying, oh, you must have had potatoes growing there. And I go, no, no, no, because when it would have been in the ground I had cucumbers on this side of the footpath and I had strawberries on that side. We can't see the footpath, by the way. We don't know. Yeah, okay.

And you reckon they got together? Nah, and it's come from the hybrid cucumbers that I had growing there, I'd say. It's a cucumber, a potato cucumber. You know, it's a good. It's a, whatchamacallit, it's a tuba from good, all in the same corcubit family, like pumpkins and marrows and all that. Colin, I'm understanding zero percent of what you're saying. All I'm understanding, Colin, is it's not a world record for the biggest potato.

Is that true? No, it's not. It's a world record for I'm not a potato. And as far as I'm concerned, he's still Doug the Destroyer from down under. Doug the Destroyer, is he at a rebrand? Not Doug the Spud? Yeah, well, it's not Doug the Spud, it's Doug the Dud. Now, Colin, one of the things that's bringing me a lot of joy right now is how much time and passion you've put to this project.

It's been enormous, eh? And I've been feeding off everybody else's energy, not just, you know, my energy. It's stuff like you guys, man. Well, we're passionate about it. We'd already bought a certificate to put the Guinness World Record certificate in. We bought a frame. We were ready to go.

Yeah. Jacinda had a public holiday penciled in. Yeah, I've already booked the caterers for the big party. It must be a little bit gutting or you kind of see it for what it is? Yeah, somewhat deflating. But hey, as we walk along the rocky road of life, hey. Well, it's been one heck of a journey.

I mean, this, whatever this is, almost potato, has made international headlines. You've talked on many stations and TV channels across the world. It's been one heck of a journey. But do you think that

there was a small part of Guinness that didn't want to give you that record? Oh, in my suspicious little mind, I have had those thoughts. They've got to cover every little base, every aspect of the whole deal. I mean, you've been on... How would it be if they gave it to me, and then someone said, Hey, I grew one of them too, and it came off me good plant.

I've never heard of a good plant. I'm going to have to have a Google after this. Yeah, have a Google. But it's taken you international. For the Colin Craig Brown brand, you've been on CNN, the BBC. Wall Street Journal. Wall Street Journal. You like to get that one in? Yeah.

You've been everywhere, Colin. Yeah, no, it's nuts, eh? So's Doug. What's happening to Doug now? Because he was last time he was in the freezer? Yeah, he's still there. He's, you know, chilling out, just waiting to see what's going to happen. Yeah.

What's the next chapter in his life? Well, since it's been such a great journey, and everybody, I mean, everybody's had a lot of fun with it, and the way the world is, I'd like to keep the fun happening and set him up on Instagram and take him on a national tour. He's going on a national tour. I love it. What do you do? Do you buy tickets to see him?

No, he's just going to pop up, let's say, on the beach up the Coromandel or on the East Coast. Heomandel or on the ski slope. He could even be on the Ernst Law down in Queenstown. Who knows? He's going on a national tour, Doug. Doug the whatever it is. Yeah, Doug the dud. Doug the dud.

The dominator from down under. And you loved that thing, whatever it was. It's been a great ride. We have enjoyed coming along for the ride as well. It's been so good catching up with you. And hopefully we'll see Doug the Dud on its national tour. Yeah, right.

Tested safe for listing from home. Jono and Ben on the hits. Rats. A lot of people taking rats at the moment seem to be the thing to find out if you've got Omicron or what. We're taking them many times for work, and I keep talking about them at home. And I'm winding up my daughter, Andy, because I keep saying rats tests. I'm taking a rats test, and it's kind of like me where I get annoyed

when people say ASB Bank, and I'm like, well, you've already said bank. Oh, right. So you've said the acronym, then you're, yeah, okay. Auckland Auckland Savings Bank bank and last night I said again rats test and she was upset so I recorded her when we were walking so what's your problem there we're saying rat test yeah I'm saying rat test yeah I'm having a rat test the r is for rapid the a is for antigen antigen yeah same thing and the T is for test. Yeah. And then you say test at the end.

Oh, so I'm saying test, what, there's two tests. Yeah. Rapid antigen test test. It's only rat. This is, this is winding you up,

is it? Yeah. Okay. Well, because it's not two tests, it's only one. Okay. So rat,

not rat test, because then it's like two tests. Yeah, right. I mean, well, this is your, you've bred this into it's like two tests Yeah right she is You've bred this into her I can hear me coming out through her When she's saying that

It's like systemic racism in the royal family You've done this with acronyms in Indy But a lot of people say rats They're adding an S onto the end of it as well Yeah That's just a whole other Unnecessary word, what's the S standing for? It's probably just like a plural.

But you're right, it doesn't stand for anything. It's just making a plural. So there is a lot of things that people get wrong as far as academics. They can be very tricky, can't they? Just quickly, Metro UK did a quick article and FYI, someone, you know, for your information, of course, one person thought it was

F you idiot. That's what it stood course. One person thought it was F you, idiot. That's what it stood for. Cheeky. Got quite offended. Someone on Reddit said that. And LOL, this is one that's tripped out someone in your family before. Yeah, Annie. Yeah, love.

She thought it was lots of love. Lots of love, that's right, after a passing, yeah. Yeah, like, oh, sorry about the loss of your mother. Lol. You're like, what? She's laughing at me? Yeah, so it happens quite a lot. Like, oh, sorry about the loss of your mother. Lol. You're like, what? She's laughing at me? Yeah, so it happens quite a lot. But you wanted to put Producer Juliet to a quick test.

Well, millennials, your generation, you just love acronyms, don't you? Yeah, we do. It's so good. But Ben and myself, our generation, we like to think that we can enjoy an acronym, but then we feel like we have to over-explain the acronym. I say IRL lots, and then I'll say immediately afterwards in real life. IRL in real life. It makes it longer because I said it but then I'm like engaged in the room. I'm like maybe no one understood.

Not everyone. I'm like in real life. He always likes his comedy and references to be known to the general wide population. He's not a niche comic. Good on you. So we've got a list here. This is quick fire. I'd like you to start a clock and see if you know all of these millennial acronyms. Oh, dear God.

Okay, one second, one second. Let me get a clock. If you lose, you can't fly to France and leave the show. Do you want me to get some dings ready as well for when I get them all right? Yes, you have to run your own game. I'm just reading them out. Okay, you ready? Okay.

FWIW. For what it's worth. There's one. FTW. For what it's worth. There's one. FTW. For the win. I-C-Y-M-I. In case you missed it. IMO.

In my opinion. IMHO. In my humble opinion. IMHO. This is like a different one. In my honest opinion. NVM. What was that?

NVM. Never mind that? NVM. Never mind. TFW. That feeling when? SMH. Shaking my head. HP. HundyP.

HundoP. HundoP. 100%. TSIR. The struggle is real. TIL. Today I learned. Wow.

And today I learned that I am a genius when it comes to acronyms. Thank you very much. That's impressive. There you go. A lot of them go over my head, don't they? Just a smile and nod. Smile and nod, boys. If they were the internet, you'd want to clear this history.

Jono and Ben on the hits. A lot of people out and about today. March 17th, of course, St. Patrick's Day, St. Paddy's Day, celebrating St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland. And people were, you know, we just saw on the TV, there were some people out already, you know, getting in amongst it. Morning drinking. Getting in amongst it.

Really shining a light on the binge drinking culture. I didn't realise it wasn't always a green. Green wasn't always the staple colour of St. Patrick's Day. It started out as blue, apparently. Oh, really? And he wasn't even born in Ireland. No, but he did a lot over St. Patrick brought in

bringing a lot of Christianity established monarchy sorry churches schools monasteries as well yeah and they

reckon there was all these legions as well like he drove the snakes out of Ireland and things like that what a guy what a guy

now people just any excuse to have a few drinks what a guy let's all get wasted to celebrate it I was actually like Christian I was doing these things shut up Yeah, so now people just, any excuse to have a few drinks. What a guy. Let's all get wasted celebrating. Yeah, it's memory.

So I was actually like Christian, and I was doing these things. Yeah, whatever, mate. Shut up, mate. Have a Guinness. Put on a funny novelty and have a Guinness. Yeah, really. Irish people must be like, what is going on? Yeah, why is there a drunk accountant in the Viaduct?

With his tie around his head. Hey, what an honour. What an honour. Anyway, one of the huge bugbears for any commercial radio show is, you know, what's your angle on St. Patrick's Day? April Fool's is another big one for us. There's a few tentpole moments.

But Ben, you've come up with what I think is a genius idea. Well, we'll see how this goes. You want to see how many Patrick's or Patricia's. Just Patty's. Yeah, Patty's in general. P idea. Well, we'll see how this goes. You want to see how many Patricks or Patricias. Just patties. Yeah, patties in general. Pats. Yeah, pats.

Anything we can get on the show over the next five minutes. It's the patty wagon. Yeah. That's what we're doing. So if your name is Patty, Patrick, Patricia, 0800 the hits, we have some hell pizza, the best damn pizza in this lifetime and the next, to give away to every caller.

And you've got a Patrick you'd like to have the first cab off the ring. Well, we have a number for a Patrick. The patron saint. Yeah, of broadcasting, of journalism. So let's give him a call, see if he answers, and see if he can be our first Paddy. Hello? Paddy Gower?

Yes, yes. I prefer to be called Patrick, actually. Oh, we're going to... Yeah. It's Jono and Ben. Who am I talking to? Jono and Ben here. We wanted to ring you because you're the only Patrick we know,

and it's St. Patrick's Day, so we thought... Yeah, I know. And I'm just sitting here just wondering where my first Guinness is, actually. Yeah. How many radio shows have called you already this morning, Paddy? Are we first off the rank? You guys are always first off the rank morning, Paddy? Are we first off the rank? You guys are always first off the rank.

John and Ben are always first off the rank usually because it's a prank call from a blocked number. Okay? So that's how you usually get first off the rank.

But no, listen, no one else has called me. Thank you for showing me the strength of being one of New Zealand's few Patricks. It's a pretty rare name but it's great to be popular

on the one day of the year when everyone just wants to go and get booze with someone with your name. Does much happen on the day when your name is Patrick? Does anything happen special or not really? Nothing. That's about it. Well, it's more about the Irish tradition, isn't it? It's just any other normal day.

There's nothing that goes with it. What people do do, and it's actually really quite annoying, is some lame Irish accents. You know, sure to be sure, Paddy. You know, that kind of thing. People do that sort of thing, but that's about it. Good, because we weren't going to do that. Definitely cancel that.

No, no, no. Oh, no, Jono and Ben would never. No. No, no. No lame Irish accents. Cancel the Irish accents. On Paddy Gower. Give it a go, no. Oh, no, Jono and Ben would never. No, no, no. That's a lame Irish accent. Cancel the Irish accent. On Paddy Gower. Give it a go.

Oh, no, I'm not going there now. No, no, no. We're never going to do it. No, no. We're going to... Well, we've got nothing else. Do we, Ben? Have we got anything else?

No, no. I think that's it. You've literally got nothing on St. Paddy's Day bringing the guy called Paddy other than you were going to do lame Irish. You've got to do it, guys. We're listening. Mate, look, hey, this sounds like a boss talking to us now, doesn't it?

You've got nothing. You've got nothing. You've got nothing. Well, we were going to open up the phones and see how many Paddy's and Patricia's we can get in a row. That was the game we're going to play. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got nothing. We started off with you.

That's one. And can we get any more? 0800 that's The paddy wagon continues on Until we don't have a paddy on the phone Alright, sounds good We'll see how many we can get next Jono and Ben It's St. Paddy's Day, St. Patrick's Day

Hit the music, Juliet Here we go We're going to try something right now It's risky, it's high risk, high reward Yeah, well, is there much reward? No, not much reward. A lot of risk, zero reward. But it's the paddy wagon. Ben Boyce had a dream to

celebrate St. Patrick's Day. We just keep answering the phone until we don't get a paddy. Okay, so it's Patricia's Patrick's Pats. Any variation on there. Patsies. Your actual name. It has to be your actual name. We'll reward Hell Pizza to everyone that calls. Hell Pizza now delivering beer and wine as well.

Okay. First caller. Who have we got on the phone from the Waikato? Hello? Hello. Is this Patty Patricia? Patricia. Patricia.

Here we go. We got one. Did you think your name would come in handy today? No, but it's always a good drinking day for Patricia. It's always a good drinking day for Patricia. I love it. All right. Here you go.

Help pizza coming your way. That's one. Okay. Second caller. Have we got a Patty or Patricia on the phone? You've got a Patty. You've got a Carol Patricia. Carol Patricia.

We'll take it. Okay. We'll take it. There's two. All right. I love it. Okay. Third caller.

Hello, can we continue on the paddy wagon? Who do we have from Rotorua? Patricia. Patricia. Yes. Another Patricia. There we go. We've got three Patricias.

Happy St. Patrick's Day, Patricia. Thank you. Okay. Happy St. Patrick's Day to you too. And we'll head to Christchurch now as the paddy wagon rolls on. When will it stop? This is good. 0800 the hits.

Who do we have on here from Christchurch? Oh the paddy wagon rolls on. When will it stop? This is good. 0800 the hits. Who do we have on here from Christchurch? Oh I'm sorry I can't offer you a Patricia but you can have a Patrick. Yay! Here we go. Happy St. Patrick's

Day. Woohoo! Hell pizza for you too Patrick. Awesome. Thank you guys. Keep up. And Steve good on you.

Thank you for listening. This is more than I thought we were. I had my wildest dreams I never thought we'd have four. My wildest dreams and he's had some wild ones. Thank you for listening. This is more than I thought we were. My wildest dreams I never thought we'd have before. My wildest dreams. And he's had some wild ones.

I have. Wild. We'll go to Canterbury now. Have we got have we got a patty on the phone? Patrick, Patricia? Patrick, Patricia? Patrick, Patricia?

Patrick, Patricia? Someone who's turned their radio up and I love a radio loud. Turn it up louder. Oh no, don't. Who have we got here? Hey, this is Podraig. Podraig.

Hey, man, how you going? This is the Gaelic version of Patrick, the real Irish name. Podraig, we've got another one. There we go. That's awesome. Try growing up in New Zealand with that name. You have a great St. Patrick's Day. It means a lot to you.

Yeah, go to the Irish. Yeah, the Irish. There we go. And we'll take one more for the St. Patrick's Day. It means a lot to you. Yeah, the Irish. Yeah, the Irish. There we go. And we'll take one more for the St. Patrick's Day. Should we continue on? Yeah, okay. The paddy wagon rolls on. Who do we have from Timaru?

You have Patrick from Timaru. Ah, another one. Well done. Well done. Do we continue or has it gone too well? It feels like this will just drag on. I'm surprised. Nothing we do has gone this well before.

In his wildest dreams. My wildest dreams. Here we go. Happy St. Patrick's Day, everyone, who's out and about enjoying it. It is the hits. You got it, Jono and Ben. Jono and Ben, brought to you by Resene,

New Zealand's most trusted paint, Kiwi-made since 1946.