Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: Jono Got Called Out (Again) By Another Woman In The Office!

Episode Date: February 14, 2022

This isn't the first time it's happened either. And it's hilarious. We also caught up with the director of new TV series Pam and Tommy, which explores Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee's explicit tape that was leaked. We also learnt which one out of Jono and Ben is an avid scanner and one that hasn't scanned in anywhere since January. You can probably guess! Enjoy the show!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's the 15th of February, day after Valentine's Day, and I've seen a few cheeky bouquets of roses turning up today, day after. Oh! This seems like a play from the Ben Boyce book of tightness. Well, the cheaper the day after, you could also, you could blame, you know, blame, I'll be crying. The courier companies, it's hard, you know, it's busy, oh, I ordered this in advance, oh, great play. Yeah, yeah, because, I mean, roses would be at sale price today, wouldn't they, for all that sort of stuff? Yeah. Pick some roses up on the way home, mate.

Oh, yeah. Cheap roses. Not the boss of me. Treat yourself. Get some spice in there. Yeah. Now, do you know a funny thing? You've been broadcasting from home for the last couple of days, awaiting some testing results.

Yeah. Did they take the rat tests, your family? No, no, that was through the system, through the OG. Straight up the nose. It's interesting driving into work before. I can always gauge, because I have to drive past the COVID testing station, where things are at in our fight against COVID. Very, very long line this morning.

Like, extremely long. Where are the days you drive past? There's no one there. You know, like a month or two ago. Today, I'm like, oh, here we go. It's going to be some big numbers. We're back, baby. I base it on just how many people I see parked outside.

This morning I'm like, there is a lot of people parked outside. I imagine a lot of people have gone, no, I don't have it. And then gone, oh, I probably have it. And I've been everywhere. I want to know just when's it going to get to the stage where it's like the cold. Because the cold is a coronavirus. Yeah. The common cold is a virus, and we don't report on that.

It's not shoved in our face every day. The flu, you're right, it kills millions of people around the world. Because there'd be thousands and thousands of cases every year in New Zealand of flu and cold cases, but we don't hear about those about those, but we're hearing about this one. So I say let's just downgrade it to the common household cold, the humble cold, and then we can all just, you know, some people battle through it. Well, you look at the Super Bowl yesterday, you know, 70,000 people in a stadium and, you know, not a lot of masks wearing and stuff like that.

You know, like they've kind of got to the other end of where we're probably heading. But still, I think they're going to the other end of where we're probably heading. But still, a lot of, I think they're going to have a million people dead in America this week, you know, from COVID. In a week? Oh no, sorry,

over the course of the pandemic. Over the course of, jeez. You know, which is really, really sad. You know, I think each one of those is a life that, you know, is taken away. That is the sad thing, you know. Yeah, yeah.

So I guess we've kind of made these measures to protect us, but then you're like, oh, it's coming anyway now. Anyway, because Jen, my wife, she was saying, how's the household, your household? And I said, the test results have come back positive. And I wrote this in caps, and we were just coming towards the end of a song,

and we were about to talk on the radio, so my concentration levels were at an all-time low. I said, all in caps, they've just got the test results back. And you said you got the test results back and they were negative. Yeah. But I wrote, they've just got the test results back. It's positive. Oh, no.

And then, exclamation mark, exclamation mark, exclamation mark. I don't know why I wrote that. I was just thinking. And so she's gone back, what? Poor family. So that means Ben will have to stay home. And I'm like, why is she reacting like this? And I said, oh, no, I mean negative.

And she wrote FFS. So I don't know what it means, but that's what she came back with. I find it interesting that positive is normally a good thing. You're like, oh, he's a positive guy. It's a positive thing. I'll be more positive today. Oh, that's a positive result but not in this case you know like for some reason we don't want to be positive negative result yeah

i mean but maybe it's all how we deliver it too and this is how we can tackle omicron is if you get omicron i'll be like he's a positive guy yeah positive i'll be fine you'll be positive that you're going to be, you're positive that things are going to be all right. Yeah, I've got it, but it's a positive thing. I'll work through it. But book me in. Give it to me. Let's get on with life.

That's what I want to do. It's going to hit us at some point. Everyone's probably going to get it at some point. It's circling, isn't it? And it's more than circling for a lot of families already, isn't it? So face who today, which means it's a lockdown without calling it a lockdown. Isn't it? Well,. So phase two today which means it's a lockdown without calling it a lockdown. Isn't it?

But you can do a bit of stuff. You can't. Well, schools are open, bars are open, you can sit there. I saw Super Bowl parties, you have people inside in bars and stuff yesterday, so you know. It's not. It's a rebranded lockdown.

And they've done a great job of bamboozling us all in with fallen phones. It's a lockdown, but you can go out and do some stuff. You can do everything you want. What do you want to do that you can't do, apart from be in a stadium to see a concert? You can do pretty much. You can't. You can't.

Well, no, because I'm not vaxxed, so this is why me and my mates outside Parliament are trying to make a stand for the people, for our future. You're vaxxed. I got told off today on the text machine. This is why me and my mates outside Parliament are trying to make a stand for the people, for our future. I got told off today on the text machine. Every time we mention it, Ben, you either get complaints flooding through to your Facebook, and we either get complaints flooding through the text machine. It's a hotbed, this protest outside Parliament, one way or the other.

Yeah, exactly. And today I said they're all rolling around in faeces outside there, which apparently is not the case. I don't think anyone's doing that anywhere in the country right now. So I'd like to make an apology on the podcast intro. They said actually there's many port-a-loos here. They get cleared daily. It's very hygienic. So could you please clarify that no one is rolling around in faeces outside Parliament.

That's good. Jono and Ben on the hits. You're on the hits. It is Jono and Ben with you on a Tuesday morning. I'm at home this morning and hello, who have I woken up right here? Andy. I've just got a very like...

Can I just say it's disturbing you have to ask who you've woken up? Yeah, true. I do know who I've woken up. Yeah, true. No, I do know who I'm woken up. Hello, little girl. What's your name? It's always good to meet a fan. Hey, thanks so much for listening to the house.

Would you like a signature or something from me here? No, thank you. I was just going to get a selfie with her. It's fine. No, you forget. We talked about this yesterday when you're doing the show from home, how loud that you talk on radio. Even though you're just talking, you're still talking loudly in a house

where no one is talking early in the morning. Yeah. Now, I must just say, because people are texting in, why is he at home? And, yeah, there's a huge HR issue going on here at work. I won't lie. And we've got to wait for the investigation to be completed, don't we, Julie?

Yeah, we do. Yeah. He's home for precautionary reasons being sensible aren't you? yeah yeah which I think is going to be the

more around that and tell you more about what that's all about very surely yeah but to more important news yesterday

I went to the supermarket okay and that is the big news in the country right now right? yeah I think it's

leading the herald.co.nz right now but there's no more disastrous moment in your shopping career that when you're a minute, maybe two minutes into your supermarket shop and you realize you've got a trolley with a bung wheel.

Listen to it. And because you pick it up initially and you're like, I can work through this. I've got determination. I can fight through the bung wheel. But then you get to the point in the produce initially and you're like, I can work through this. I've got determination. I can fight through the bung wheel. But then you get to the point in the produce section where you're like, this is just never going to happen. And then you try and get back through those weird little bars at the front door

that you can't walk back through for some reason. Yeah. Once you're in, you can't go out unless back through the counter. And it's weird going past them at the counter if you haven't bought anything. For some reason, you feel like you've shoplifted. Yes. Yes, you're in, you can't go out unless back through the counter. And it's weird going past them at the counter if you haven't bought anything. For some reason, you feel like you've shoplifted. Yes. Yes, you did right. So I'd rather be able to go back through those bars.

Have you ever tried to navigate your way back through those bars? Yes. Yes. But yeah, because then everyone looks at you as you're pushing the trolley. But it's almost a sympathetic look of like, I've been there, buddy. You know? Yeah.

I think 90% of the trolleys are a bit like that, though. And always you have that optimism that the trolley's going to sort itself out at some stage. You're like, oh, it's bad now, but it'll sort of kick back into gear and it'll be fine. But it never happens. No, it's like a mosquito in your bedroom at night, and it just gets louder and louder. And you cause an absolute scene through the remainder of the supermarket because they can hear you from

aisles away bang bang bang bang do you know what trolleys i really like um i shop at um countdown and i think the other ones probably have it as well but when they've got like a little phone some of them have got a little phone holder at the bar where you like push the trolley so you can put your phone and so you can read your supermarket list. You don't have to hold your phone. I've never noticed a phone holder. Oh my gosh, it's genius. It's the best thing ever. John, I would be putting a Heineken in it

when we went around the supermarket. I thought it was a beer holder. You could pop yourself to one of the beers from the fridge and put that in there. Do you ever also look at where you're meant to put the little toddlers and stuff, how they sit facing you? Do you ever think, wonder if I could? Squeeze your thighs into that.

Ben, you could. We should try that. Can we get Ben into a baby trolley? All right, this week, let's try and do this. Our radio announcer had to be removed with the jaws of life from a supermarket trolley on Thursday. That sounds like fun. Hey, next, as we mentioned before,

we kick into phase two tonight, New Zealand, of this new Omicron plan. We'll try and get our heads around it and tell you what's happening next on The Hits. Scrolling through your feed. We have read the news and barely understand it, and now you can listen to us try and explain

it. Ben Boyce, what's happening in scrolling? Well, tonight, New Zealand moves to phase two of the Omicron response plan after 981 cases yesterday. So phase two is going to stay as long as cases remain between sort of 1,000 and 5,000 cases. No change to the traffic light system, but it's a phase of greater self-management. They're basically putting the responsibility a bit more back onto us now. And if there's anything we have learned over the last two years is that you can do that. You can trust people. People are always going to come through for you.

Yeah, so isolation period for cases, you know, reduces from 14 to 10 days and for contacts from 10 to 7 days. So a little bit shorter is the time you'll need to stay at home if you're around someone with COVID or if you're in one of those locations. Yeah, I see at work here just talking firsthand experience. No one's allowed on this level where we broadcast the show from. Anyone who comes in has to go to work in another level. I know.

And the other thing the Ministry of Health put out yesterday, you get yourself an Omi Homi. That's the thing they were saying on their Instagram. How much do I pay for one of those? They sound interesting. So who's your Omi Homi? So that's if you have to isolate and you need someone to bring you some stuff, you want to get your friend to bring you some stuff around.

They're like, look, who's going to be your Omi Homi? So that's the new thing. The Omi Homi brought to you by the creators of the Two Shots for Summer fam campaign. And the protests continue outside Parliament. Eight days now. And, of course, we've seen the footage of them dancing to Trevor Mallard's songs he put over the loudspeaker.

But also, they signed him up to a couple of websites, apparently, according to Trevor Mallard. So he said that he's the Speaker of the House and he said that he's been signed up for the National Party, the ACT Party and also a, let's say Pornhub website where she's saying they got their email and they signed him up for that. Yeah, so he's obviously got Trevor.Mallard at govt.nz or whatever. They've figured it out.

But, you know, there's consistency in the pranking. There's signing him up to ACT, signing him up to National. Then all of a sudden he's like, oh, this Pornhub thing's popped up, which is no connection to the previous prank, which leads me to believe Mallard's gone, this is a wonderful excuse here to get away with this Pornhub business. Because there's no tie-in into the first part of the prank. I mean, you've been pranking for decades.

Being a long line of prankers in your family. You'd always tie it into something, wouldn't you? Yeah, you're right. You're right. This just seems like it's a little too convenient. By the way, this other shocking material just turned up on my... I mean, he's got a great excuse with IT when they come hitting him up, don't they? It was a prank.

It was a prank. What was it? It was a prank. Well done, Al. Well, eight days into the protest, and it does not look like they're going anywhere. Jacinda yesterday... A bit of a stomach. Yeah, she was asked at the press conference, are you going to talk to them?

She's like, no. She's like, I'm not negotiating. I'm not dropping mandates that have kept people healthy and sort of navigated our way through the last two years. She's like, I'm not talking to them. And they're not leaving. So I don't know what this means. Someone's got to win.

Do we just have to keep trying to come up with angles about talking about the protesters for the next five years? I think just turn Parliament into a top ten holiday park you know like it's a brand new campground for New Zealand and just go well this is it now. Wonderful summer getaway if you like camping and feces and hay

then that's where it's going to be next on the show if you need to sort your life out well there's a new TV show that apparently will do just that. We've got the host of the TV show joining us shortly. It is The Hits. You're on The Hits, Jono and Ben, 6.27 on your Tuesday. Good morning.

Now, she's come on to peddle her new show and use us to promote her new show, and we use her so we don't have to do as much talking for the next three minutes. It's a win-win situation. Kanoa Lloyd from The Project, how are you? Oh, I'm really good. I miss you guys and your little faces and things.

You too. Your little faces. Your little faces you've got on your face. How's motherhood? Oh, it's like really easy and not at all stressful. It's just a straightforward thing for us. That's what we like to hear. That's what we like to hear.

Getting plenty of sleep and all that sort of stuff. Oh, big time. I'm actually thinking of giving other people my leftover sleep because I'm getting so much sleep. How have you found it going back to work, though, juggling that? Well, I know this is really annoying when people say stuff like this, but I genuinely really love my job. So, yeah, it takes a lot of j like, juggling and figuring out and moving pieces,

and it feels a bit like that scene from A Beautiful Mind sometimes. But I'm stoked to be back doing it. And, you know, one day I'll tell my little girl, hey, look, Mum is on TV, and she did that for a job, and that'll be cool. For things that are so small, they demand a lot of admin, don't they? Yeah, it's a lot. Now, Kano, we're talking to you, you're hosting a new show. I am, yeah.

I thought, you know what, why just go back to one job when you can go back and do two TV shows in 2022? Yeah, you're like, how can I make my life a little more stressful? So you're wanting, now what you're wanting, you haven't made the show yet, but you're wanting to use us as a vehicle to get some people that you can put on the TV. Yes, exactly. You can jump in.

I call Ben the Mercedes Benz, so you can take it for a ride and use that vehicle right now. No, so basically the thing is, this is me getting to live my fairy godmother fantasies. We want to come around to people's house, look in all the darkest, most kind of full of junk and bits and pieces corners, and we want to sort it out for you. And I know that probably sounds a little bit scary, but it's not about us coming around and going like, oh, look at your undies and being judgy. That would be a hell of a show.

I mean, that's a different show on a different channel. Has he got Spider-Man undies from 1995 he's still wearing? Yes, I do, all right. I'd hide all the undies if a new car knower was coming over, that's for sure. No, this is about us kind of going, like, let us take care of you. I mean, I am a super sentimental person who is hanging on to way too much stuff. And my hussy's always complaining that my way of cleaning up is just to put things in cupboards and drawers so I get it but I would love

nothing more than if a couple of experts came around to my house and just we're like hey hey we've got this so I'm really excited about it now I because I read this as you're going to remove every item from out of the household and lay it out now what poor schmuck has to do this job at every house? Oh, have you not got the phone call about that? Jono was like, you wanted a TV job? Well, here you go, Jono. It's a job on TV.

Well, you're not going to be on camera, but you can lay out all the stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Honest answer is I have no idea, but I will definitely be buying coffee each day. That's what you think. You think that one day you're like, oh, I'm going to sit down with my grandkids and play. But then you're like, I'm going to bore my grandkids with all these things. That's the thing.

And you just, what would you, I mean, what would you say about an individual who has hoarded every novelty costume that he might have used through his television career and he's keeping them stored in a garage? The cars can't even park in there. My wife was like, can't get the car in the garage because I have costumes in the garage. But he's got a giant cactus and a cucumber and an ATM costume.

What would you do with this person? Don't think it's all about getting rid of everything that means a lot to you. But the fact that you can't get your car in the garage and that's what the garage is for, maybe that tells us something about things aren't working. And that was a purely hypothetical situation that I made up. It wasn't about being in no way at all.

Maybe I should be on this show. It sounds like I should be signing up. Yeah, you want to go to the Three Now page and click on the fans link, and all the details about Sort Your Life Out will be right there. Oh, Kanoa Lloyd, the loveliest person in New Zealand. I can't help but think she's got some very dark skeletons in her closet so she's hiding away from us.

But love your work. You too, guys. Thanks so much. Next on the show, what we had to do for yesterday's good deed. I'm still shook over this. This was a heck of an experience and we'll bring it to you next on The Hits. Jono and Ben on The Hits. It is dreams. You're on The Hits. Jono and Ben, 6.34. shook over this. This was a heck of an experience and we'll bring it to you next on the hits.

It is dreams. You're on the hits, Jono and Ben, 6.34. Hey, we've done good deeds throughout the month of February. 28 deeds over 28 days and actually really enjoying doing some of the deeds, but other ones I think they've turned less deedy and more into what traumatic things can we get Jono and Ben to do.

Yesterday was definitely one of those. Yeah. And so far we've hung 320 metres in the air off a high-rise building, cleaning windows. Don't check those stats. Also washed cars, washed dogs. But yesterday we had to clean Portaloos. Portaloos for Hyrepool.

Our friend Riggsie got in touch who works at Hyrepool and he said they've got a whole bunch of them to clean Portaloos for Hyapool Our friend Riggsie got in touch Who works at Hyapool And he said they've got a whole bunch of them To clean Portaloos And the only place filthier and more unsanitary In New Zealand at the moment Is probably the grounds of Parliament So we went there

And we were full hazmat suits Weren't we Ben? Is this the moment you regretted doing 28 good deeds in 28 days? Yeah I think it's officially happened. I thought we were in these white suits to cook something but it turns out we're to clean something. These things behind us. The portaloos here at Highpool.

Alright we're going in. See it's moments like those where you go you don't think about the fact that when you're sorting something out at your end that someone else has to sort it out at the other end. You know? And we were doing the sorting out Ben. your end, that someone else has to sort it out at the other end. You know? And we were doing the sorting out, Ben. You just expect the portal, I don't know, it's like magic.

They get cleaned. I thought they just exploded after everyone had used them. And new ones appeared magically. But we rolled our sleeves up. So right now we're just spraying some disinfectant on it. I know we've done a few hose breaks. Yeah, can we not today? No spraying each other with a hose today.

And there's nothing quite like the distinct odour of these scrubbing away here. Nothing quite like the distinct odour. They should release it as a cologne. You could eat off that. I wouldn't. But you could. And the resistance from me in particular as I was holding both the hose and the water blaster

not to spray Ben. It was taking every ounce of me, Ben, just so you know. But I knew this was probably your worst nightmare. A place contaminated with germs. Look at this thing. And you just imagine the atrocities that have taken place inside this box. Well, it's ready for its next lot now. We've hosed off all the regret and bad decisions and we'll get her back out there.

So this was the point where we thought, okay, job's done, deed done. Then Riggsie came knocking. I've just had a phone call come in. Somebody's lost their iPhone. Unfortunately we can't use the big sucking machine for that, so you've got your gloves on. Oh no, no, there's another system surely no there's not sorry nah it's not there then after some negotiating

Ben Boyce had to probably well to do the one of the most questionable acts you've done throughout your career and that was go phone hunting you know he left his dignity at the gate when we drove in today. How's it going in there? Done some low things in my town.

And the kids don't need to see the rest of that. It's 2022. Surely there's a better system. Get a new phone. That's the system. That has to be the system than getting someone to put their hand inside a portal. Obviously with a glove on, but still.

The main thing is they got their phone back, and that's all we'll say. Alright, if you'd like us to do a good deed for you, we're doing right throughout the month of February, just text 4487, and who knows, we could come and clean your port-a-loo. Jono and Ben. You're on the hits, Jono and Ben, 13 away from 7 o'clock

on your Tuesday morning. The Super Bowl was on yesterday, and how amazing was that halftime show? And, Jono, you got lost in an internet wormhole afterwards. I did, I did. I started just reliving memories from years gone by and saw a wonderful message on Kate Hawksby's Instagram account that says, if you're loving this halftime performance, it's time to book your colonoscopy.

Which is a wonderful reminder. But yeah, I got just reading about the artists and stuff, and I know he says lose yourself in the music, but I got lost in an Eminem internet wormhole. Jonas Internet Wormhole. Yeah, some wonderful facts. You never knew about Eminem. He is quite a private character, isn't he?

Yeah, he doesn't really do a lot of interviews. You don't really see him doing much, really, outside of performing. Yeah, and he looks like if you did ask him anything, he wouldn't be happy to hear from you. There's a great photo that we saw that people handed over a plaque to Eminem when he was in New Zealand before his concert, which I went to, which was incredible. But they obviously handed over a plaque saying his album sales had reached platinum or was in New Zealand before his concert, which I went to, which was incredible. But they obviously handed over Plark saying his album sales would reach platinum or something in New Zealand.

And he looks miserable. He looked upset about it. He looked upset that he'd reached that milestone. He's like, you're making me pose for a photo right here in front of a Plark. Yeah, this is like a certificate of merit. But anyway, some things about Eminem that you never knew. And did you know that when he he's sober now uh for a while there he was taking uh many pills vicodin and ambien and things i don't

even know how to pronounce he would take up to 60 valium and 30 vicodin pills a day a day a day i mean that's a huge consumption uh but elton John, he phoned Elton John, and Elton John was the one who got him sober and talked him all through it. They're really good mates, aren't they? It seems quite surprising that someone from the hip-hop world would be mates with someone. But it's awesome that they are.

I think Eminem once gifted him for his birthday, Elton John, a diamond-encrusted... That's right. ...phallic-looking... Yeah. Yeah, they did....encrusted... That's right....phallic-looking... Yeah. Yeah, they're crusted with diamonds, which seems very risky. But anyway, who am I to judge? Eminem also claims he had a relationship with Mariah Carey in 2001,

although she denies it to this day. And it's probably a good thing camera phones weren't invented for Mariah back then because there's no evidence of it. He refused to sing at the Oscars because he was going to sing the song Lose Yourself. Which is obviously from 8 Mile. And they wanted him to perform it, but they wouldn't let him do the profanity version.

They wanted him to do the clean version, so he refused to do it. Now, this is at the Oscars, the same place who awarded Harvey Weinstein for three decades. They get a bit worried about a few swear words. Eminem reads the dictionary every day.

No way. I don't know if we'll start to finish, but just scrolls, peruses through the dictionary to expand his vocab for the songs, which is... Smart. Nerd? You can't wonder.'m like, no. His rhyming is impressive, so I guess if that's, you know,

it's kind of like maybe it's like training for him. Like hitting the gym is like learning new words. Yeah, cool. Reading the dictionary, which is probably a great tool for him. The song Lose Yourself Again. Did you know he recorded the song one take? Really? No way.

No second take, which I don't know if that's just down to pure skill or laziness, because who's to know if the second take was going to be better? We'll never know. But one take, how incredible is that? Frank Sinatra used to do that, but then his was out of more laziness apparently, and then he could never listen to his songs later because he's like oh I really messed up that little bit

I was like no I didn't do a take two and when he was in movies and stuff because he was in Ocean's Eleven he would only come and do one take and they're like you literally messed up your whole line mumbled words he's like I don't care and walked down the door oh Sinatra it's like me maybe don't care, and walked down the door.

Oh, Sinatra. It's like me. Maybe I'm a bit of Frank Sinatra. Those are internet wormhole facts about Eminem. And we've got more from the Super Bowl next, producer Juliette. Yeah, all of the celebrities that were there, and there were actually so many more than you probably realised. Yeah, hundreds and hundreds of celebrities were found. And we're going to list all of them, all 300 celebrities.

Very shortly, but right. Spy. Know what's up. Spy.co.nz. Like Kanye on Pete Davidson, she's about to go on a celebrity rampage. Juliet, what's happening in Spy? So there were, if you watched the Super Bowl, you would have seen a lot, a lot, a lot of celebrities there. But even more posted online that they didn't even cut away to,

which made you realize, holy hecka, there were a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot of celebrities there. It just looks, when you see anything in America on that scale, you're like, it doesn't even look real. I know. Everything doesn't, it's just, you know, there's fighter jets flying over it when they're doing the national anthem. You're like, this is USA in a snapshot. I mean, have you got the audio there of how it started with my hero, Dwayne The Rock Johnson? You know, this is the intro to the Super Bowl. They get The Rock to come out.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor to say, finally, it is time for the Super Bowl! Oh, yeah. Do you know, I was watching that, and Dwayne The Rock Johnson's arms have got completely out of control. They are wild. It's like he's carrying two tiny humans on his torso. Yeah. It's a great one.

He must need people to carry his arms for him. I know. They get so heavy just lifting them. You're right, lifting them around all day. Who were the celebrities that were there though, Georgie? So J-Lo and Ben Affleck, they cut away to them. They were having a big boogie together. Kanye was there with two of his kids.

He did not look happy. I mean, if you've seen his Instagram recently, he doesn't seem very happy with the whole Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson situation. He had a full face mask on for some of it too, didn't he? Yeah, almost like a morph suit type face mask. N95 jobby. Maybe he's running a new bloody N98 full face mask.

Yeah. He was also sitting in front of Kylie Jenner's ex-boyfriend, Tiger, which was kind of random because they dated years ago. So maybe he's like, I want to hang out with him to try and get back at the family. I have no idea. Prince Harry and Princess Eugenie were there, and they were one of the few people wearing masks. Them along with Jay-Z and his daughter Blue Ivy.

They were probably four people wearing masks. Kanye, Jay-Z. Yeah, actually Kanye too. Justin Bieber and his wife Hayley, Ellen DeGeneres and her wife Portia. The Weeknd was there. He performed last year's Super Bowl. And he put $7 million

of his own money towards his halftime performance. He did. On top of the $13 million that's already budgeted. And do you remember there was a bit of controversy around him in the Grammys last year. Apparently he didn't get nominated for any Grammys because they didn't want him performing at the Super Bowl halftime.

And he was like, well I'm just going to do it anyway. I don't know if you remember that. I'm going to make cabullions off streams if I do this. And our faves Taika and Rita were there, along with Drake, LeBron James, Charlize Theron, Mark Wahlberg, Matt Damon. Literally, you imagine a celebrity and they were probably there. Ben Boyce? Yeah, he was not there.

I was watching from home, guys, it's just as cool I thought I remember when I was probably 11 years old I went to a Lakers game in LA, I was lucky enough to go and I got so excited by the fact that Jack Nicholson was there, even though I had no idea who Jack Nicholson was at the time

Who's that wrinkly old man in the front row? But this is a real step up from Jack Nicholson. But at 10 to 8, I'll have more Super Bowl content, more focused around the halftime show, which was fantastic. But that is your Spy update for this hour. For more, head to thehits.co.nz. The Hits, Jono and Ben.

10 past 7, kia ora, good morning. Jono and Ben with you tonight. We moved to phase 2 of Omicron's response to Omicron. And that means basically that we're going to self-isolation period is going to be reduced. And yeah, we're just going to have to deal with how this is going to roll out over the next few months. And as we do move into DEFCON alert level mega ultra phase two, we were just talking about qr scanners you know we've all been told to diligently scan in so you can be traced back to a location of interest if if need be and uh i won't lie my scanning's been a bit sloppy lately because your scanning's been sloppy

through this whole pandemic Yeah Everything is sloppy I just, I don't want to be traced back to a location of interest Like, if I've got it I'm going to pretend I'm not sick And just plough on through Look, I have been the most nerdy And diligent when it comes to scanning He scans every, he even scans into work

He scans in here Do you not remember where you are between 6 and 9 every day? I saw someone else doing it And I was like, yes, I need to scan into work. He scans in here. Really? Do you still do that? Do you not remember where you are between six and nine every day? I saw someone else doing it. I was like, yes, I need to scan into work. So I've been doing it. And then I add it. If I forget, I add it into the little thing. You manually can add it.

How's your scanning, Ju? It's probably, I'd say, probably sitting in between Ben and you. Like I'm like sort of half doing it. I've lost interest in it. And it's much like when you guys tell me what you've been up to over the weekend, I start with a little bit of interest, then I fade out a bit, and then I go, oh, I should be back into this now, and then sort of come at the tail end. You should be scanning.

Look, we're going to look at each other's phones and work out where we've been. Yeah. But I'm not currently in the studio right now. So, Juliet, can you grab Jono's phone and just tell us where in fact you are? Now, can I just say, it's ironic the guy who scans in everywhere isn not currently in the studio right now so Juliet can you grab Jono's phone and just tell us we're in fact can I just say it's ironic the guy who scans in everywhere isn't allowed in the studio at the moment well you wouldn't know you were in the studio

because you haven't scanned in the room okay so there's my phone now Ben I can't see your phone but I'm imagining locations like you know Lush Soap where you do smell like an exquisite peach in a French meadow. Have you been to Lush Soap? Yeah, there are a lot of locations like Smiggle and Typo.

Not necessarily for the kids as well, more for me. Ben's Smiggle is the official supplier of Ben's Velcro wallets and childlike lunch boxes. Calendar girls here, too. I see Ben. You do like to get the annual calendars from the shop there, don't you? Although I find it interesting you keep going back, but you've already got the calendar in January. Do you lose the calendars?

This is defamation. This is not true. Now, Juliette, in all honesty, where has Jono scanned into over the last couple of days? So I have to scroll and scroll and scroll to get to his last entry. And that was the 16th of January, the surfboard warehouse. Oh, yeah. I got a surfboard for my son.

So you haven't been. I felt like I had to then because I was the only one in the shop. So you haven't been anywhere for a month. No, I've was the only one in the shop So you've been anywhere for a month No, I've been nowhere for a month That's right You're a hermit crab Or you're just very irresponsible I just go from here to home to here to home

Yeah And probably if I did scan anywhere I'd probably have liquor in the title Yeah, I drove past the other day after work And you were outside the liquor store Is that how it is, Jono? Yeah, liquor land You did go to smiggle john oh oh i went to smiggle maybe i have a velcro wallet obsession so we wanted to chuck uh check this open to the nation on new zealand's breakfast i know scanning it's got a purpose but has it lost its purpose now

because you would be safe to say that if we're getting over 1,000 cases a day, soon to be 900,000 according to the Herald, then everywhere's a location of interest. Yeah, well, they're going to stop kind of contract tracing because they won't be able to keep on top of it. But at the moment, we're meant to be scanning. Are you doing it or are you like John on your line? Yeah, this is our version of a One News Colmar Brunton poll

where they tell us every two days there's a new preferred Prime Minister. We're going to take a poll right now. Are you scanning? Are you not scanning?

You can be honest. 0800 THE HITS. Give us a call. 4487 on the text. THE HITS. So Jono and Ben on a Tuesday morning the COVID fatigue

is set in. The Prime Minister was talking about it yesterday. She was saying that basically we're over the virus, but the virus is sadly not over us. So we need to be vigilant, but are we being

vigilant, Jono? What was this pointed throw? Because you haven't been anywhere according to your locations for at least a month. He's trying to scan shame me. He's trying to publicly scan shame me for not scanning. And yeah, I may have checked out of scanning

because I don't want to be located to a place of interest. But that's my prerogative, Ben Boyce. But you're a scanning nerd. And yesterday at the press conference, there's so much to cover off. I mean, you've got us hitting nearly 1,000 cases, moving to this Phase 2 situation. You've got protesters rolling around in faeces outside Parliament.

There's a lot to ask the Prime Minister about. And, jeez, they hit her with the hard questions. Just one question. Can you tell us the price of tomatoes? Oh, tomatoes. Well, I tend to get, without going into too much detail, I tend to get the boxes of the little ones because my daughter likes them in her lunchbox, and I think the last time

I got them they were, oh, I think from memory they were over $4 I think the last time I got them. Yeah, but I think they're around $7 at the moment. Yeah, these are just the baby ones. Okay. So no matter what catastrophes are happening around us, it's always important to know

the price of tomatoes, Ben. That's right. That would be my major fear as a politician is that at any moment I could be ambushed with a question asking me the recommended retail value

of a grocery item. Yeah, I'm running the country right now. I'm sorry, I don't know the price but she was actually pretty good on the price of tomatoes. She got it bang on for the little ones. But we want to know this morning on 0800 THE HAT, so you can text us, 4487, standard SMS text charges will apply. Are you scanning or are you not scanning?

Yeah, let's throw it open. The nation's poll. We'll start with you, Lola in Wellington. Welcome. How are you? I am very well. Thank you, guys. How are you guys this morning?

Are you being trapped? Are you being hindered by protesters in Wellington, Lola? Oh no, thankfully I'm at the other end of town and I've avoided them completely. And you have an adorable accent as well, if you don't mind me saying. Are you a scanner, Lola, or not a scanner? I am

a scanner, John. I scan everywhere. Yeah, I think it's I actually think it's really important. Even if I go to my office at work and I know I've been in the office that day, I'll still scan just to make sure I don't forget. You and bin boys would make a wonderful scanning couple. Would you? We could go around scanning everywhere we go.

You know, I'm happy to go about my life. I'm not fearful of what happens I think if I get COVID I get COVID but at least I'll know where I've been and you know can alert others I guess fair enough Lola hey it's not for me it's not for everyone it's meant to be for you though that's the thing it's meant to be for

you you can't just opt in or opt out of it yeah well this is not a good start to my poll Lola's shooting me down here Hang up on Lola in her adorning I'm with you, Lola, good on you Sweet Irish tones Ben, you're on from Northland, welcome

Are you scanning or not scanning? I'm definitely a not scanner I checked my Tracer app and the last time I scanned in was the 18th of December Yeah, wow, he's done better than me He's done better than me. He's done worse than you. It's good for our poll because it evens it out.

Why aren't you scanning, Ben? Oh, well, I don't know. I just can't be bothered every time I walk into a shop. It's kind of a bakery on the smoker. You just walk straight in and walk straight back out. I know what you're saying. It doesn't take long. It's not an arduous task. If you don't scan in, you're never going to be at close contact.

That's right, baby. That's right. And you just ignore that tickle in your throat and that rising temperature. If you don't get a test, then you're not going to have COVID. That's right, Ben. That was Trump's theory, wasn't it? We test less, we'll get less cases. Ironically, the whole of the UK is doing that right now as well, too.

Hey, thank you very much, Ben. Shelley, we'll get you on from Rotorua. Welcome to the show. Scanner or not scanner? Oh, you know, I'm a nerdy scanner. Sorry, Jono. Don't be sorry. Don't be sorry.

I'm so nerdy that I've got to live with a non-scanner. And when we're out together, say in a car and he goes into a shop, I'll jump out and go scan for him. Yeah, I'd do the same thing. I'd scan for you, Jono. I know you would. I know, and he gets all wound up when I don't scan.

So now it's just become, it's become like the protesters in the government. I'm just trying to prove a point and I don't know what it is anymore. Hey, good on you, Shelley. You keep scanning, have a great one. And listen, Shelley shouldn't have to apologise to me. I should be the one apologising to you, Shelley. You keep scanning. Have a great one. And listen, Shelley shouldn't have to apologise to me. I should be the one apologising to you.

We've got $5,000 up for grabs like we do every morning. It's happening in about 20 minutes' time. It is the Hits. The Hits. Jono and Ben. You're on the Hits. Jono and Ben. 7.30 Tuesday morning. Now, I've been called out by a female colleague in the office.

And Ben Boyce, you were just saying during the song that it was not the first time this has happened. Yeah. It happened a while ago. Heidi, who worked with us, she'd burnt her hand. And you went over in front of everyone at the office and you're like, are you okay? As a concerned friend and colleague.

You were concerned. I'll give you that. And then you went, did you okay? As a concerned friend and colleague. You were concerned. I'll give you that. And then you went, did you burn it on the oven? And then she was like, why would I burn it on the oven? How sexist are you? And then you're like, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh. And then she had a laugh and went, yeah, well, actually, I did burn it on the oven.

Assumptions. In the meantime, the misinformation that was spread about me throughout the office was rife. You know, if you'd just walked past and overheard that conversation, you'd be judging. You'd be judging, what's happened again? This time with Larissa, who

works in the office, and she is leaving for another radio station. And usually when this happens, those people are dead to me, Ben. You know I bleed the hits. The hits is like a gang, and instead of Harley Davidsons, we've got pink Kia Sorentos.

And once you're out, well, if you leave, you know there's going to be consequences. You don't talk to all our former colleagues, do you? No, not at all. And so I said to her, listen, I'm not going to be able to talk to you anymore and larissa came back to me and said well that's okay because all you ever say to me anyway is hey mate we were there for this this was the best line from her because everyone was like yeah that's all he says. Hey, mate.

Hey, mate. Hey, mate. Hey, mate. But that's all I need to say to Larissa. I can just say those two words and I know whether she's having a good day, whether some stuff's going on at home. It's just that's how our relationship is. It's on another level.

Not even like, how was your weekend or your day? It's just like, hey, mate. Well, I don't care. And he does the same smile. That's like the half-assed smile it's like hey mate yeah a half-assed smile just like just phoning it in a used it was a time where you cared about your hey mates you know you'd hey mate me and i knew there was some passion and some care behind it now do you know the honest truth can i tell you the honest truth okay i don't know if i don't want to Me and I knew there was some passion and some care behind it now. Hey, mate. Do you know the honest truth?

Can I tell you the honest truth? Okay. I don't know if I want to hear the honest truth. Because we wake up every morning and you put so much time and energy into these conversations we're having right now on the radio that when you finish radio, you've got no time for conversation. You've just got no energy for conversation. Do you find that? I'm like, I'm talled out. Three hours of this. I've got no time for conversation you've just got no energy for conversation do you find that? I'm like I'm talled out three hours of this

I've got nothing my conversations are one syllables. Are you the same at home? Yeah I'll just come home I won't say anything maybe I should need to put more effort into my real life conversations not so much effort into these ones these fake whatever this is we do every morning

Hey next I've got the most amazing story out of the UK of what a guy and these ones, these fake whatever this is we do every morning. Hey, next, I've got the most amazing story out of the UK of what a guy said to his boss during a performance appraisal. It wasn't, hey, mate, it was something a little more than this. It will wow you next on it. Scrolling through your feed. He's got his heavily sanitized finger on the pulse. His name's Ben Boyce. What's been happening in the news, matey?

Well, of course, yesterday was Super Bowl. A lot of people talking about all the famous people that were at the game. Everyone from Prince Harry, Justin Bieber, Beyonce, Katy Perry, Ryan Reynolds. But on the field, the game was won by the Rams, the LA Rams over the Bengals. And a couple of really cool moments happened after the game. One of the Rams players proposed to his partner on the field in front of everyone, which was pretty cool. And she said yes, which was even cooler.

That would have been a good moment if she said no. Can we take this offline? We'll just have a conversation in the car park, eh? Not do this in front of billions of people. And another of the Rams players, as soon as the game was over, he just basically ran from the field, away from the celebrations, because his wife, who'd been at the game, had gone into labor. What?

Yeah, so he went to the hospital, and within two hours of winning a Super Bowl, he was also a father for the second time with a baby girl. Oh, what a wonderful story. Yeah. I mean, i imagine she's probably in a corporate box suite as well you'd almost be a little hesitant to leave that environment i would imagine uh you'd be like can i just do this on the floor would anyone mind this this is an amazing story out of the uk. So a boss was meeting with his employee

and he wanted to discuss the difference in the employee's performance between last year and this year. He was like, you're a top-rated employee last year. It doesn't feel like you're nearly as present or you're as focused. What's changed? And the man, he's taken to social media to say that he was extremely honest. He said, well,'m basically um giving you a reflection of uh my salary so what i'm giving you is what you're paying for i'm putting below

average effort in to match my below average salary and uh that was that's what he said to his boss well i tell you what that wouldn't wash with bogsy here man okay bogsy the big boss here being boys don't think you can go in there playing those sorts of games If that's what you're trying to lay down the foundations for Okay Yeah, but really interesting play It's like you've created an environment There's no incentive for me to work hard ass or a raise You didn't give it to me

So now I'm just giving you the bare minimum Because that's all you're paying me Oh, you respect people that do that sort of thing, don't you? But I personally don't have the gonads to pull that sort of thing off Do you? No No All you't have the gonads to pull that sort of thing off. Do you? No. All you say to the bosses is, hey, mate, and a half-hearted smile,

so that's about it. Half-hearted smile. I was just thinking about that, just going, you know, you exhaust all your conversation energy in the morning on this show. And I must go to the barbecue and someone must go,

what do you do for a job? Oh, I'm a radio announcer. And they must think, well, he must be a fun guy. and they'll be waiting for just like you know some sort of entertainment extravaganza and i say nothing they're like she's he must be terrible at his job and then i leave and go bye mate and that is astrology beatrolling TV this morning. Next, we've got $5,000 on the line, like we always do. It is that. You've got John Humbed.

Five words for 5K. You're just five words away from $5,000. It is our game of word association. We play it every morning at this time on The Hits. We tell you five words. You tell us the first things that pop into your head. If your words match with ours, you win $5,000. Yeah, we know this is the only reason any of you listen to us.

We know our place in the world, don't we, Ben? Exactly, exactly. But that's fine. We'll take it. At least you listen to us. Tash, you're on from Hamilton, Morena. Good morning. How are you guys?

It's lovely to have you on, Tash. Great to hear your voice this morning. You're a finance administrator, and how is the administrating of finance going these days? Good, good. That's all the conversation I have on that one. Ben, any follow-up questions there? No, no. At least you said more than, hey, mate, so that was good. That's my main goal today. Hey, Tash, you want to win five grand

we gave five thousand dollars away last week and if we do it again this week it'll literally mean ten less promotional puffer jackets for the hit staff

around the country but we're willing to risk freezing cold radio promotional people cooking sausages for you okay okay alright

what are you going to spend the money on just myself and the kids good on ya it's always good to spend money on kids who are you going to spend the money on? Just myself and the kids. Good on you. It's always good to spend money on kids. Who are you going to send to the soundproof booth, Tash?

I'll send Jono, please. Okey-dokey. Jono can make his way to the corner of the studio, and I can see through Zoom that he's in the booth right now. And, Tash, here is your first word this morning. What pops into your head when I say forecast? Forecast. Weather.

Weather. Exactly what I was thinking. Wipers is the second word this morning. Wipers. I've got two. Car wipers or windscreen wipers. Oh, yeah. I'll go windscreen.

Windscreen wipers. Remote is word number three this morning, Tash. Remote. Control. Control. Lettuce. Word number four, lettuce. Salad.

Salad. And finally, your final word this morning is table. Table. Table. Table. Spoon? Table, spoon. Oh, table, spoon. Of course, of course. Yeah, it's funny where your mind goes.

Yeah. Yeah. Table, spoon. Are you going to lock in table, spoon? Yes, I'll lock in Tablespoon Tash, you did well Some really good words you did there I think I matched with maybe three to four of those

We'll see though, it doesn't matter what I did It matters what Jono will do right now He's out at the soundproof booth and back with us Hey Bim, you'll be glad to know after you scan shamed me earlier on the show saying I don't scan anywhere, I just scan into the soundproof booth, okay? Oh, that's good.

And Tash, how'd you go? Good. I've been good. Okay, Tash has a level of New Zealand-like confidence heading into this. Let's see if we can match five words with you, buddy. All right, the first word this morning we said to Tash was forecast. Forecast. Weather forecast. Oh, well done.

One from five. The next word, wipers. Window wipers. Oh, windscreen. I thought you were going to say. Oh, Tash. Oh, I'm sorry. I should have said windscreen.

That's okay. You should have. Next time. You should have, Joddo. I should have said windscreen. That's okay. You should have. Big time. You should have, Joddo. That would have been a lot more helpful. Let's run through the final words to see how you would have gone remote. Control. Yes.

Lettuce. Salad. And table. Tablespoon. Oh! Four out of five! Oh, it was windscreen versus window. Tash.

Next time. I've let you down. I've let the team of five million down, and most importantly, I've let Ben down. But that's an everyday occurrence. Yeah, I'm used to it now. Tash, have a great day. Sorry, Tash.

Hey, Spy next, Drew. What's coming up, mate? A recap on the Super Bowl halftime performance, which was one of the greatest things I've ever seen in my life. And the combined wealth of those performers

will blow you away. That's next on The Hits. The Hits. It is The Hits, Jono and Ben. 981 cases of COVID yesterday. Ooh, we're getting close to that, a thousand mark. Spy, know what's up. Spy.co.nz Alright, time now to hand you over to producer Juliet.

Let's hop aboard the gossip train destination, Gossipville. What's happening? So, if you didn't watch the Super Bowl yesterday, our halftime show yesterday, I highly, highly recommend you watch it. It is something so worth watching. The halftime performance was the very first time that hip-hop artists were the main act. You had

Snoop Dogg, Dr. Dre, Eminem, Mary J. Blige, Kendrick Lamar, 50 Cent made an appearance. He was up on 50 Cent. Yeah, he was upside down. But how long before he started singing? Oh, I actually don't, wait, is that a question you're asking me? I don't know.

Oh, I just don't know. How long do they take him out to the field like that? Yeah, I know, I know. I mean, he would have been a little bit woozy, wouldn't he, by the end of it? Yeah. Because all the blood rushes to the top of your head there, 50 Cent. Totally. But he didn't forget the lyrics to It's Your Birthday,

we're going to party like it's your birthday, and that's the main thing. Actually, this is really interesting. A combined wealth of all those performers, $983 million, so almost a billion dollars combined wealth. As in like their net worth type? Their net worth, yeah. But also combined age, people were saying as well, of 286.

And that is the sobering thing isn't it when you watch those artists because I imagine you know there are a lot of parents probably watching that

tossing up whether they should continue watching Snoop Dogg or pick the kids up from school yesterday but it's the when you

I keep one of the most favourite things you can do as a parent is play your kids music like all sorts of music so I play everything from Bob Marley to metallica to you know tupac a range of offensive songs but then i'm like oh dear god are these like our bob dylan's and fleetwood max and the eagles and i'm

punishing my kids with they're like hey cool with your old man Dr. Dre. That is so true. Oh, but I loved it. It was such a feel-good performance out there. It was incredible, so it was so cool to watch. One of the highlights for me was there was a clip of Snoop Dogg hiding away, because the stage was kind of set up in three sort of like, almost like house looking things. And a clip came out of Snoop Dogg having one of his favourite substances before the show.

So everyone kind of, well, you'd kind of assume that he would have because that's his sort of signature thing. But he was like hiding away, like having a cheat. On the field. Yeah, I think so. He was kind of hidden away behind like one of the house things, I think it looked like. Well, we did. We have mentioned before he smokes 81 blunts a day. Yeah, I think so. He was kind of hidden away behind one of the house things, I think it looked like. Well, we did. We have mentioned before he smokes 81 blunts a day. Yeah. So, I mean, you're having to squeeze him in whenever you can.

If it's on the field at halftime of a Super Bowl show, you've got to keep those numbers up. Yeah, totally, totally. But yes, highly recommend it. It was definitely probably one of my favorite halftime shows that I've seen in the last probably good five years or so. Media calling it the greatest. Yeah, yeah. Because it was the first time hip-hop was, they usually just go pop, so it was a nice change.

But that was your Spy Update for this hour. For more, you can head to the hits.co.nz. After 8 o'clock on the show, we're joined by the director of the brand new series that's on Disney Plus right now, all about Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee, and a tape that was leaked. We're going to talk more with the director after act.

Breakfast with Jono and Ben. Thank you so much for joining us this morning. Yeah, Ben Boyce broadcasting from home and just in case you didn't know, he's case 1001, so we're just keeping him away from the general population. No, but in all honesty, you were awaiting some test results in the household and they came through

negative, which is great, Ben. Yeah, it's good. It's always a pleasing thing, but in all honesty, you were waiting for some test results in the household and they came through negative, which is great, Ben. Yeah, it's good. It's always a pleasing thing, but I imagine it's going to be much more the norm, this sort of situation for many, many New Zealanders. It already is for many New Zealanders. Yeah, you're right. Well, I can't wait to see you come back in tomorrow so I can touch your face. I've had to be rubbing Juliet's cheeks and she's like, please stop.

It's a bit weird. It's weird. Stop treating me like a baby. We're going to do something right now called You wouldn't read about it because it's something that people say all the time they're like oh before a saying or a story they're like oh you wouldn't read about it this happened to me and we're like would you read about it technically could you read about the story they're about to tell so you phone us on 0800 the hits we've got a whole bunch of hell pizza to give away uh with a story that you think wouldn't be on the internet now we'll fact

check it you just tell us the details the story we then google it if it doesn't come up as an article or having had to happen to someone then you win the hell pizza that how that's how the game's gonna work so it's a story that's happened to you like for example jono like i accidentally put super glue in my grandad's eye I told the story on the Graham Norton show because I grabbed what was meant to be the eye drops on top of the fridge turned out to be super glue put it in his

eye there's a long story short but would you read about that could you google that so what do I google idiot grandson super glues grandad's eye shut is that what it goes super I mean it's a great lesson in not leaving the Idiot grandson super glues granddad's eye shut. Is that what it goes? Super glue granddad. I mean, it's a great lesson in not leaving the responsibility of getting the eye drops, leaving that to a third party, isn't it?

Yeah. Always do that yourself. Keeping them clear, it's like people that put whiteboard markers next to permanent markers. I mean, you're always asking for trouble. Dad super gluedlued son's eye shut. Oh, God. For four days. Oh, jeez. Oh, Kevin Day's

son, Rupert, was given some same thing. Eye dropped for an itchy eye. Had the superglue. Four days. Jeez, the missus would not have been happy. You would read about that in that situation. So I wouldn't win the Hell Pizza. Well, I have a friend. I'll try a story here.

I have a friend who once went to the very futuristic toilets in Taupo. I don't know if you've had the pleasure of visiting those. The Super Lou situation, right? Yeah. Now, he got trapped in there at an unfortunate time with the doors self-locked and it went into cleaning mode. So he came out resembling something looking like a

disinfectant smurf. He was covered in blue head to toe. It almost looked like something from Avatar that was taking a break in between filming. So what am I putting in this? I'm into Google.

I'm going man trapped in toilet and topo. Yeah, it gets covered in disinfectant cleaner. Would we read about that on the internet? Let's have a look. No, there's a lot of shower cleaning you can get from wet and forget. That's one of the things that comes up. But no, in this instance, you can't read about it. You wouldn't read about it, and you'd win a prize.

How on earth did Shower Witch flag that as something that should pop up in an ad when people search for that? Well, it takes the hard work out of cleaning your shower and bathroom, Jono. Thank you very much, Shower Witch. It's not easy to use. Oh, 800, that's the telephone number. You phone us up with a story that you wouldn't think would be on the internet, something that has happened to you, and we'll reward you in pizza.

What better prize? You wouldn't read about it. That's next. It is the hits. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. Doing when you wouldn't read about it, fun little game that we air from time to time where you tell us a story, a scenario that has happened to you, and then we have to Google it on the Internet and see if we wouldn't read about it, if it hasn't happened to someone else.

And I tell you what, there's not much that the Internet hasn't seen. You can't surprise the Internet, can you? You can't shock, geez, we've put the Internet through some stuff. It needs a good deep clean, eh? It needs a deep clean. It needs to self-isolate for a few weeks and just you know come back again bigger and stronger um can i apologize on behalf of the human race to the internet for what we've done to it yeah we burned it with a lot of videos that you know

embarrassing comedy yeah so uh kate how are you yeah well yourself you're doing well uh you got a soothing voice you could be a be some sort of, you know, an automated voice on a telecommunications service. That's exactly what I do. Can you just do me a favour and go, press 1 if you would like to be put through to the general store. Press 1 if you would like to be put through to the general store. Oh, that is good.

She's good, yeah. Yeah, press 3 if you have a complaint to lay. Press three if you have a complaint. I feel like I should start paying for this service. Yeah, a very specific 0900 number. Hey, just be a telephone operator. That'd be great. Hey, Kate, you wouldn't read about it.

You tell us a story. If we Google it and it hasn't happened on the internet, you win a prize. If we wouldn't read about it, what's your story? Okay, so easy to remember because it's probably the most embarrassing time of my life was i was a teenager and i was down at the beach and there was this super super sexy lifeguard on duty and i obviously had a bit of eye for him okay yes are we talking just sort of you know on the scale the scale of me to, let's say... David Hasselhoff of Baywatch.

Yeah, where's he sitting? Well, Hasselhoff is not quite there, so... So more towards me. Maybe that was a bad example. That was a bad scale of economy. He was right. Super sexy. I had an eye.

Beach wasn't too busy so you know he was around I was playing waves boogie boarding a bit um and a wave took me and I went tumbling all the way onto the beach and as a lifeguard he obviously came to check if I was okay I kind of opened my eyes he was standing over me I looked up at him lying on my back looked up at him I was like you know couldn't breathe he's like are you okay, yeah, I think I'm fine, thank you. And he picked up my bikini top and he handed it to me. He said, there we go, I think this is yours. Oh, dear God.

You were laying there topless. Oh, no. I was topless. I was so embarrassed. I nearly died. I'll never do it again. Hold on, were you laying on your back, were you? Or were you laying on your front?

I was lying on my back. Oh, no. Oh, no. Did you think about just going back out into the water and drowning? No, it was awful. Oh you poor thing, that would have been mortifying. And so did you end up marrying this guy? Is there a happy ending? Oh absolutely not, I never

went back to the beach. Swum in 20 years. Okay so now what would we read about? We get to google the story, if it's not on the internet, it hasn't happened to someone, now would we read about it? We get to Google the story if it's not on the internet, it hasn't happened to someone we wouldn't read about it, then you win big. So what will we go here? I'd say girl rescue

bikini falls off in front of lifeguard. I'm going to get some interesting searches here. On the work Wi-Fi. Now when I have to explain this search to anyone yeah yeah we're all hearing this okay kate let's have a look would we read about it well my days were before the internet so i don't think so rookie lifeguard rescues topless woman. Really? Hold on. Oh, no, this is a video. Hold on.

Okay, okay. We're looking for a news source. Yeah, no, no, okay. Okay, no. No, that's definitely not what we're after. No, it looks like you can't read about it, but you can see a scene reenacted about it. Oh, Kate, we're going to send you out a prize, all right?

Thank you, that's awesome. Looking at this video, it seems like they had a happier ending than you did, Kate. Let me know. All right, good on you. Keep safe, mate. Thanks. You too. Hey, next, we're going to talk to the director

of the brand-new Pam and Tommy show, all about Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee. It's on Disney+. And talk about how she embarrassed herself in front of the world's, well, possibly the world's best actor. It is The Hits. You got Jono and Ben.

Jono and Ben. It is The Hits, Jono and Ben. It's one of the most talked about shows you can see right now. The miniseries called Pam and Tommy. It's on Disney+. It follows a story from 25 years ago where actor Pamela Anderson and rock star Tommy Lee had a private tape that got stolen and leaked. We have recently come into possession of

a piece of material. This is private. It's like we're seeing something we're not supposed to be seeing. You can catch it on Disney Plus right now and we caught up with the director, one of the directors from the show. She's not just a director though, acclaimed actor as well.

She's acted with Meryl Streep, Ashton Kutcher, Owen Wilson as well. Her name is Lake Bell. This is Lake Bell. The one and only Lake. This is people you don't know, Jono and Ben. Okay. So have you guys seen the whole eight-episode enchilada?

It's an amazing tale and, you know, a controversial story for Disney disney to take on board uh an interesting project to be involved in for you i imagine like well um yeah i think you know ultimately it is a story that compelled me because of my own personal experiences with criminal stealing of one's image, if you will. So I had actually sort of experienced some of that stuff. So for me, I think as an actor, but also really as a director, the opportunity to start a cultural discussion about that kind of exploitation was appealing to me.

Yeah, because obviously that would have been such a horrible time in your life you know the fbi were involved when you had pictures hacked and released i mean did that kind of doing this process of making this show did it bring back some sort of bad memories for you i mean i think what was cathartic is perhaps having that opportunity to to express ourselves and maybe even show a little rage, which I think women don't often get to do. Yeah, because there's those clips that you look back on from years gone by, and they don't age well. You look back at the way that Pamela Anderson was treated

compared to how Tommy Lee was treated through that whole period. Yeah. Yeah, I think isn't that what's so cool, I think, about the opportunity to tell great stories? Oh, okay, so this is super entertaining, and I am enjoying this show, isn't that what's so cool I think about the opportunity to tell great stories oh okay so this is super entertaining and I am enjoying this show but gosh it's kind of thought-provoking and well hell didn't we kind of like you said treat people in a way that was disrespectful and and and painfully um unbalanced in terms of the men and the women who are depicted. So the cultural discussion that this,

that this series has already started is, is pretty exciting. So. Yeah. I mean, watching it, you feel a lot of sympathy towards Pamela and also a lot of respect for how she handled that through that difficult times. And the series obviously got some great reviews, some great articles, but how did you, how did you feel being involved in a project that obviously Pamela wasn't involved in for her story? I mean, I obviously can't speak for her, but all I can say is from my own personal experiences, I felt very connected to the story at large. That personal tape, that piece of private VHS property is the catalyst and the dam broke, you know, and then the beast is unleashed in the World Wide Web of how one could exploit someone against their will.

From that standpoint, I, yeah, I mean, I just, I wanted to tell the story to get that kind of conversation started. Because you can watch things like The Crown and all these shows that are kind of based on real life events. And, you know, as Ben said, Pam and Tommy haven't been involved in the production of this or the writing of this. How do you know what was being said at certain times or if certain acts or actions took place? How do you piece the whole story together? Well, the story itself, obviously, you have to use some kind of narrative license in order to build out a story, right? And again, the goal here, right, is you create a story that is crafted

around a public domain piece of IP that then gets people to talk about and reflect and expose an injustice within our culture and society. So that's the goal, right? So you can't say verbatim, because obviously we weren't there, you know, no one was there, but that happens often. That's how story is built uh well like uh it's really lovely talking to you a great job directing it you're a great actor as well and just before we go i heard that when you acted with meryl streep uh you had an occasion where you fangirled quite a lot oh you're calling me out of course i did yeah you might be able to call out society but he's gonna call out you well you. Well, who wouldn't? I know. No, absolutely.

Gosh, I still love Meryl. And if I run into her, even though I've known her for many years, I'm just like, you know, like I have to get my crap together. But the director, Nancy Meyers, had to pull me aside and say, like, get your shit together. Pull it yourself together. Hey, Lake Lake just quickly one last thing

before we go to I have a very special saucy tape of Ben here would you be open to directing a series about a lonely one man love making tape

okay alright we'll call my agent yeah you're right it's a quick tape two minutes or so it's very quick

okay yeah right Lake doesn't have time for this she's got more interviews to do hey lovely to talk to you like i really appreciate you being so open and honest about the whole project and talking to us about it thanks guys be well jonah and ben jonah you talked earlier the show in the show about uh we awkward social interaction you had

in the office oh with larissa who claims that the only thing i ever say to her is hey mate but that's all our relationship it's a deep rich relationship and that's all it needs like we're it's just a hey mate situation i had something i don't know if you find this uh socially awkward but i had this happen to me the other day uh when you you think you're meeting someone for the first time, it happened at a friend's place, and then they went, hang on, I know you from somewhere. When someone says that, then nothing makes you feel more slightly awkward than when they say that because you go through sort of a back catalogue

in your brain of like, where do I, do I, where does this person, how does this all fit in? Yeah. Now, the other the other worst thing that they could have said to you is we have history you know you know when someone says we have history it's never a good thing it's like something some bad stuff went on in the past and they haven't forgotten about it and they almost they're saying it wanting the wider group to go oh what happened just so they can unpack exactly because i even tried you know now

and again you go oh you might have seen i had a tv show you know john and ben and they're like no no no it's not that and you're like oh god you know where have i been what have i done yeah and they couldn't think of it so fortunately i got out of that situation but it was one of the most socially awkward things that i feel that you can be put in, one of those occasions. And I looked online and here's some other things that people also find awkward when you say to someone in a social situation, Jono, I've heard you say this one before, you look tired to someone. I say that to you sometimes and Ben gets offended.

Yeah. Oh, you look tired. It's a caring thing though, I find. Like, Juliet, you look tired today. You actually do. I am tired today. Yeah, see, she's tired today. You actually do. I am tired today. Yeah, see, she's tired, so I'm caring how she's looking. But also at the same time saying you look like a bag of hammers.

Yeah. These are these things that are almost like the double-edged compliments. They're also things that people find awkward. Like, you look great for your age is another one as well, too. Which is also, you know, putting the knife in that you are older, but also saying that you look great at the same time. Which you consistently say about the queen. She looks fabulous.

She's 95. How else do you think she's going to look? She's got a team of 900 people who put makeup on her probably every day. Other things online that people find socially awkward, when someone says you've lost a ton of weight. Yeah, that's a no-go. Is it a no-go? Because, like, you're meaning it in a nice way. Oh, my someone says you've lost a ton of weight yeah when people say that no go is it a no go because like you're meaning it in a nice way oh my gosh you've lost weight but like you're or if you say oh you're looking really good at the moment like just don't even go there because it's insinuating that they looked worse before what about the opposite oh my

god you put on so much weight no no no don. And the last one that really people find socially awkward and winds people up, you've spoken about this one before too, Jono. When you're in an argument and someone says, just calm down. Calm down for some reason. Just really winds people up. Yeah, Juliet, your sister does that to you. Oh, all the time, all the time. But she gets you to a point where you're at full peak

and then she tells you to calm down. Yeah, because when you're having a debate and you're slowly getting louder and louder, and then she tells you to calm down. Yeah, you're like, you know, because, you know, when you're having a debate and you're slowly getting louder and louder, and then I'm like, can you stop today? And she goes, Julie, you're being really loud. You need to be quieter. And I'm like, you were just as loud. Ben, the person who said that they thought they knew you from somewhere,

they've just texted in 4487. Yeah. It was mermaids. Oh, this is the hour. You've just texted in 4487. Yeah. It was mermaids. Oh, this is the horror. They were the tank cleaner. Okay, we're wrapping you up, mate. You put on a lot of weight, mate.

I know. Tell you something, I look tired. Jono and Ben, brought to you by Resene, New Zealand's most trusted paint. Kiwi made since 1946.