Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: Jono Got Caught Out Having A "MAN'S LOOK" At Home

Episode Date: August 26, 2021

Hello friends! Hope you're surviving in lockdown and hopefully we can keep you company for an hour or so through this poddy! Today we spoke to listeners Maggie & Matt who are locked down together with their kids. Maggie is working from home & Matt can't, but Maggie still seems to be homeschooling the kids while juggling work. Why isn't Matt doing it?! We delved into this and got some advice on what these guys should do... Jono also got caught out having a "man's look" at home. Claaaaassic when the wife finds it within 2 seconds and the hubby seems to have been looking for hours! Finally, we rewarded another Iso-Legend - an essential worker doing great things in lockdown. Enjoy the show!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Podcast intro, Thursday, 26th of August. Kia ora, Jono and Ben here. Wonderful to have your acquaintance. Day number nine of lockdown. When is that, dayth of August. Kia ora, Jono and Ben here. Wonderful to have your acquaintance. Day number nine of lockdown. Is that day nine? Thursday, yeah.

We had this debate over that. Yeah, I can never remember. Yeah, we're at 11.59pm on the Tuesday. We're in week two, aren't we? We're into week two of it all. It'll be interesting to see what happens. The week's really drag. I noticed that we, coming into work,

are more aware of what day of the week it is. Although you go back to your home court and no one in the household knows what day it is. Oh, right. Yeah, it's kind of like that holiday period where you know, around Christmas time, where you're just like, what day is it? One thing I noticed too,

Jennifer, my wife, she's on a lot of Zoom meetings and you really get a glimpse, a little snapshot into people's personal lives when you're having a Zoom call. And she was talking to a guy who had 10 puppies. 10 puppies? 10. Wow. That's a busy wee lockdown, isn't it?

Like the bloody, you know, he's obviously 91 off 101 Dalmatians, but making his way there. 10 puppies. One other thing I found, because I was on a Zoom call last night for this course that I'm doing once a week, and the tutor shared their screen. I'm like, oh, that's a

oh, that's a. And everything went perfectly. It all went great, but I was like, oh, jeez, I would not want to. I'm not a person to share. I'll just share the screen. Well, it depends what you're looking at, Ben. Why wouldn't you want to share your screen? No, I'm just like, oh, jeez, I would not want to. I'm not a person to share. I'll just share the screen. Well, it depends what you're looking at, Ben. Why wouldn't you want to share your screen? No, I'm just like, you know, just not, you know.

I just don't know. I feel like that's just like, have a look at that. That's too much. That's a spread your legs situation. Yeah. It's like, you know, would you give something? Even though there's no photos of my phone like that, I still wouldn't go, hey, look, go through my photo stream.

You'd just be like, well, yeah, because there's probably stuff in there you're like, what is this? You're really open. You're an open book, aren't you? Yeah. We had the hits Friday Night Drinks last Friday. It would have been weird if they were on Wednesday. Friday Night Drinks. But Alan, who was hosting the weekly quiz, he did the same thing. He screen shared.

And then I just said, by chance, is the first question, what is Katy Perry's real name? Because he had Googled it and you could see it on his screen-share. Ah, there you go. And it turns out it was the first... See, that's where it slips up. That's where it is. That's why you don't want to share your screen, don't you?

Exactly, because of the quizzes. You don't want to share. Prep. Exactly. Don't show you're working. Or show you're working. Was that what you meant to do? Anyway.

Enjoy the podcast today. We've got Shane Cameron. He's a former boxer turned, well, he's been on Dancing with the Stars. He's been Celebrity Treasure Island. He owns his own gym, and he's doing something really cool at the moment. So what's his turn? Oh, yeah, I said that. His turn. And then you're like, you're back down.

Yeah, no, I didn't. And then I just went, oh, well, let's just say what he's doing, not say, you know. And thanks for bringing that back up. You know, other people would have let me just carry on through. Other people, yeah. You've shared my screen there publicly. This is stuff I don't want people to see. Oh, yeah.

That's the audio equivalent of sharing my screen. You're like, what is he? Say I want to Google Shane Cameron turn two, question mark. Oh, no, and I just went, no, he isn't. In my head, I was just like, what is he? Say I want to Google Shane Cameron turned two, question mark. I know, and I just went, no, he hasn't turned. In my head, I was just like, no, he was that, and now he's, you know. Yeah, so he's not turned. That's why I carried on, but thanks for bringing that back up. So anyway, there's a lot.

Actually, behind the scenes here, we're prepping for Five Words tomorrow. It's a nonstop, it's a must-win week. So we're going to keep playing Five Words, $5,000 tomorrow on the show until the money is gone, until the cash is gone. And however long that takes, only the cash gods know. Yeah, well, hopefully it's a short one, but we'll find out. It is the hits. Your essential listening for non-essential banter.

I thought I was saying something meaningful there, and then I backed out. Jono and Ben, New Zealand breakfast. Something I was doing yesterday with the kids, the kids wanted me to help out with something, and I said, I'll be five minutes. And then they kind of called me out on it. They were like, can we put a timer on your phone?

Oh, I hate it when the kids do that. Yeah, mine are in that age now where they've, you know, you get a good sweet, you know, six or seven years where you can just lie about how long something's going to take. Yeah, that's what I said. They just take it. I said, don't do the time and they said why not and i said because i won't be five minutes okay yeah but it's just when you think about it you say five minutes it's just a

saying but you never intend five minutes like yeah i text all the time i'll be five minutes late and then you'll be more than five you know like it's it's always one of those things you know no one in the history of estimated time arrival has said, I'll be five minutes, has ever been five minutes. But as an adult, you understand that, though. You know, if I used to say five minutes, I'd be like, oh, he's 10 to 15 away. Yeah, I'm just going to pop into the shop for five minutes.

You know that it probably isn't going to be five minutes. It's not going to take five minutes. And the other one is two sex. I'll be two sex. And Oscar's like, you're not going to be two sex. One, two. You're done, yeah. I used to do that all the time.

This place is five minutes up the road. You're like, it's clearly not five minutes up the road. I was actually looking at it online and they were saying there's a whole scientific theory behind it. It's the best response to temporarily put off something. If you say like or about beforehand, you kind of cover. Like five minutes or about five minutes, you kind of cover yourself.

Or chuck an ish on the end of it too. Yeah, and they say generally, also online as well, generally someone says I'll get ready in five minutes you kind of cover yourself but we'll check an ish on the end of it yeah and they say generally also online as well generally someone says i'll get ready in five minutes it's about the same time as someone saying i'll be home in five minutes if they take about the same time you know when you're like i'll be home in five minutes about i'm out late you're like you're never going to be home have they actually i was just saying before it buys you 10 to 15 minutes have they actually figured out the scientific fact of what five minutes represents is an adult no that'd be quite a good one what do. When I say I'm going to be five minutes late, what does that mean to you? I'm quite literal.

So if I'm texting someone and I know I'm going to be late, I will literally look at Google Maps and tell them the exact time that I'll be around. And if it's 15 minutes, I'll be like I'm 15 minutes late, I'm so sorry. You know? Under promise, over deliver. You've gone with honesty?

That's an unusual approach. We have a friend, Andy, who's so specific with his arrival times. I will be there in seven and a half minutes, and he will be there in seven and a half minutes. That is my type of guy. He's like you. I always wonder about when they talk about people's 15 minutes of fame. I'm like, when is that actually?

Does anyone actually get, they always get longer than 15 minutes of fame. Yeah, if anything, it's probably months. Yeah, and even the people that are short-lived, like, does anyone actually get, they always get longer than 15 minutes of fame Yeah, if anything, it's probably months Yeah, and even the people that are short-lived like a viral sensation, they get more than 15 minutes of fame, so when did that become a thing? Yeah. I had one where they got a COVID vaccination the other day and the guy's like, Ben because you have to wait in that room, he said, Ben, your 15 minutes

is up, and I'm like, yeah, you're right More than one Thanks for kicking me While I'm down Did you need to do it In such a public forum There's a lot of people Watching The TV show got cancelled

Yeah alright mate We don't need to go into it Hey coming up The Ice to Legend We are rewarding people The people who are out there In the community Doing good work

Yeah You know like Ben With his 15 minutes He used his 15 minutes Of fame for good Didn't you Yeah did I Tell us all the good things you did with it. I'll tell you in five minutes.

That is the hat she got Jono and Ben. Another day at home with the kids. Little tip, it's called parenting, not babysitting. Jono and Ben. New Zealand's breakfast. Now a bit of a debate going on. Obviously a lot of people trapped in their houses at the moment, juggling jobs, juggling

kids, juggling, just juggling, a lot of people are trapped in their houses at the moment, juggling jobs, juggling kids, juggling, just juggling, a lot of juggling, juggling remote controls, balls, whatever you like to juggle, you can do it at the moment. And it's busy in your household, Ben, isn't it, mate? Yeah, it's very busy at the moment. It's probably the hard thing at the moment, I think, and probably a lot of people are finding at the moment, is when do you stop working?

Particularly, you know, my wife's a teacher. It just keeps, you know, like normally you go, oh, I've done the work and now I go home and do a little bit, but, you know, it just keeps going. There's that separation between. There's that separation, you know, my wife's a teacher. It just keeps, you know, like normally you go, oh, I've done the work and now I go home and do a little bit, but, you know, it just keeps going. There's that separation between. There's that separation, you know. Yeah, we were talking to someone. Who were we talking to?

I don't know where you're going with this. We were talking to, oh, the career expert last week. Oh, yes, Liz Barry. Liz Barry, yeah. And she said, you know, you definitely need to have a cut off of when work stops and you can just focus on home life. Because you're right, it does, they blend, don't they?

They morph into each other. The lines become blurred. Well, that's the situation we've got here, and we're going to present it to you, Aotearoa. Let's welcome to the show Maggie and Matt. Matt and Maggie, sound like you guys could be a children's cartoon, Matt and Maggie. Yeah, just roll with the M&M. The M&M. Beautiful combination.

I see why you guys ended up getting married. If it wasn't for the love, it was purely on your names. Now, there's a debate going on in your house. You've got kids there. Maggie, we're going to let you put your case first. Well, I'm a full-time marketing manager. So as you can imagine, it's pretty busy at the moment, trying to get everyone working from home. case force first? Well, I'm a full-time marketing manager, so as you can imagine, it's pretty busy at the moment,

trying to get everyone working from home. And my lovely husband, Matt, is a builder, so isn't having to work at the moment. But there's a bit of contention between us about who does the homeschooling, where I think he should be doing it because he doesn't have to work at the moment. Okay, but you find this responsibility is falling on you at the moment, Mags? Yes.

Yeah, okay. I find at the end of the day I'm having to make sure that they do all their homework and help them. Yes, okay. And what are you doing while this is all going on, Matt? Yeah, what's going on, Matt? Well, I'm obviously just getting by, just spending quality time with the kids. Frankly, it wasn't great at school myself. So I feel like why waste it?

You know, I would love to have the kids outside. We can be building things. We can be fixing cars. You know, practical learning. None of this stuff that... None of this government, you know. Yeah, none of this school stuff. Yeah, I see. We don't need that.

So you're not teaching. No fractions out the window. Free year. Got it. Who needs to know maths? Exactly. So you feel, Maggie. I don't know maths.

Maggie, you're going to have to, so you're saying you have to do your work, and then you're also having to do the homeschooling as well. Yes. Right. And just quite not enough time in the day. I think it's nice that he wants to spend time with the kids and take them outside and do things, but they do need to do some schoolwork,

otherwise they're going to be behind when they get back in the classroom. I think the teaching needs to fall on the person with the highest IQ in the household. And, you know, in our household, Jennifer, she's got a Bachelor of Science, and I've got a Certificate of Participation in a radio course for six months. So she does the teaching, which is great.

Because I would think I would make the kids dumber if I tried to take it over. So you're saying in this, but then surely you've got to give it a go. Like if Jim was busy all the time. I've given it a go. I've given it a decent crack. I gave it a decent crack last lockdown.

And I gave it a crack at the beginning of this one. I was like, this is all above me. They're only 9 and 11, aren't they? Two plus seven? Have you tried to figure that out? Tough, tough, isn't it? Tough stuff. So, Maggie, you want to hand the teaching over to Matt.

Matt doesn't want to take any responsibility for it. Correct. All right. But he's useful. He's picking up the slack in other areas I'm pretty sure he's Making sure that the couch is still soft Making sure the TV's still working

Couch is comfortable I still end up doing a lot of the housework Yeah right okay High tensions all talking over each other I feel like this is marriage counselling right now Oh well let's put it out there to you guys To help sort this out. 0800 the hits or 4487.

What do you think should happen? What's happening in your household? Is there any good tips that you could pass on to us to try and navigate? Who does the teaching fall upon? Does it fall upon the more intelligent in the couple? Or does it have to be shared equally? All right. 0800 the hits, 4487.

We'll get to that next on New Zealand's Breakfast. The show where the masks make them look a whole lot better. Can't say this battered up old face yet. It makes you beautiful. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's Breakfast. The earlier in the show are about the obstacle courses. Every day it feels like an instruction is sent from the teachers to build an obstacle course.

And the clean-up of the obstacle course falls on me every time. Yeah. I don't want to i don't want obstacles in my life we did um we did um a cool little art project yeah the other day with chalk on the on the fence but then afterwards i've got to i've got to call you up and the tagging guys you know it's tagging on property so i you know dobbed them into the cops as well yeah good got the family arrested yeah it's just you know police have got i think they've got much on at the moment you know so i was like Who was doing the tagging on the fence?

Well, they were drawing with chalk. So it was kids and Amanda? Yeah, Amanda as well. Got them all locked up? Yeah, I did. Yeah, good. Teach them a lesson. Yeah.

Now she's a teacher too, your wife. Yes, she is. How's that going? It's very busy. Like they're definitely working some long hours at the moment, navigating through, you know, for Zoom and the lessons and stuff. And I think there's different stages, you know. Some families are doing a lot more

and some are doing a lot less. So it's trying to navigate through that. Well, Matt is doing a lot less. We just spoke to him. Matt and Maggie were happily married until about five days ago. Maggie's a marketing manager. She's home working. Matt's a builder.

He can't work at the moment. Although Maggie's saying all the kids teaching and learning is falling on her. Matt's excuse, which I, and I'm on Matt's side he's like I don't I did shockingly at school he's like I've got no skills when it comes to school education I can build something so I can't teach them anything so he's just chosen to I feel like he's sitting on the bench it's just like that's just a it's a lovely excuse to get out of something I love it on the bench. It's a cop out though. It's just a lovely excuse to get out of something. I love it on the excuse purposes but I feel like you can. You can put your mind to it.

Maybe the smart move for these two is to save their marriage and just don't educate children. The kids are coming between them. Yeah maybe. We're going to kick it off with Stephen. Is Stephen on from the Waikato producer Bee Humps? Is Stephen there? Stephen you're there mate. Welcome. What do you reckon?

I reckon Matt should get off his horse and get into it. Oh, you're throwing a horse into the mix as well. It's the last thing their marriage needs. Have to look after a horse, too. Because he's a builder, and I guess they need to know some form of

mathematics. Yeah, absolutely. Yes, I was a builder. I only just quit my job as a builder two years ago to go farming. But, yep, now you can throw measurements and everything into his math lessons if you want. So do you think he's just playing a game of he's acting dumb? Oh, yeah. I was the same when I was at home.

When I got home from work, I didn't want to get off my butt. Yeah, right, you didn't want to get off my butt. Yeah, right. You didn't want to teach kids. No, I haven't got the patience for that. So maybe that's the reason. And I think that's the big learning, too, with these lockdowns is teachers are, oh, they're saints, aren't they? The stuff that they put up with children. They just have to have so much patience.

Oh, my wife is the same, man. I can't believe how much patience she's got. Is she a teacher? No, she's homeschooling them. Oh, right, yeah. I just say let's put a pause on school. Shut the homeschools. But in the long run, what's going to happen, though?

You know, what's going to happen? Absolutely. We can't have everyone being radio announcers. There's only so many jobs in this industry We've got Lee on the phone as well Thanks for your call Stephen What do you reckon? Is Matt picking up the slack here Or is Maggie going to do the bulk of teaching?

Yeah nah Matt Come on Matt Stop being slack His argument's getting watery He always needs some help I regret taking Matt's side now too Stop being flagged. His argument's getting watery. He always needs some help. Yeah. I regret taking Matt's side now, too.

Do I look like a lazy guy as well? You definitely do. They should compromise. Like, Matt, do a little bit of outdoor sort of education for some building. Yeah, that's awesome that you're spending time with the kids out there. That's awesome. And that's time that you may not have again. So that's awesome. Hey, Juliet, I know you're not married, but marriage isn't about compromise.

Okay, that's the one thing I've learned about marriage. Proving a point and proving you're right. And if you're not, saying, oh, forget about it. It doesn't matter. That's what marriage is all about. You spend many years together, and then you slowly grow to hate each other by your old age. Okay, that's marriage, the beauty of marriage.

Compromise. Jesus. It is a hit, so've got Jono in bed Remember New Zealand Be kind And if you can't be kind Be mean behind their back Trust me though

We're talking behind your back Jono in bed New Zealand's breakfast Catastrophe in the prior household Last night Ben Boyce We had an incident of A tooth coming out

Alright yeah A little tooth popped out And 20 minutes later, I hear, where's my tooth gone? And I said, what? And they said, I left my tooth in the scrunched up bit of paper. And who leaves a tooth in a scrunched up bit of paper? You know? Have you ever heard of a tooth being left in a scrunched up bit of paper?

Well, probably a child would do that. But you're right. But anything that does look like rubbish to anyone else, right? I like a tidy household, okay? And so I may have, well, I didn't know. I didn't know at that time what I'd done. And then all the blame's been put on me. Where'd you put the tooth?

You threw the tooth out. This tooth, you know, it's always you throwing stuff out. I'm like, it's not me. It's not me. I did not see that. I have no recollection of seeing that and have you ever

tried to find a tooth in a household I know you know a needle in a haystack gets a lot of press coverage yeah but I imagine a tooth in a household obviously you would have

started with the bin you would have put it in the bin right except first place to go I'd go like listen I did not pick it up and throw it out and if I did

this is where it would have been this would be and I looked through the bin nothing I was like I have no idea where it is. Someone else. Maybe the tooth fairy did a reconnaissance mission. Maybe she went early, yeah.

Went early during daylight hours, didn't see her. In and out, swiftly. But then there's nothing quite like the shame and humiliation of when your wife, you know, it was after half an hour of looking. I can't find her, I'm flustered. She goes to the bin. Oh, not in the bin you looked in. She pulls out the

but she does it with a smug look on her face. Doesn't even say a word. Just holds it up in the air and gives me that knowing look. And you know, I would like to say having a man look is a sexist term but it's not if anything i play up to that stereotype and more and you have to humbly go i looked in there

but how did you not see it if it was oh well this is my thing i feel that i go and look in a location as a prank when i'm away she then plants the evidence in that location and and look in a location as a prank when I'm away. She then plants the evidence in that location and then comes in half an hour later. She's had it the whole time. Great play she does. She's had it in her pocket the whole time. And you look like, yeah. I look like a bumbling idiot?

Yeah, I've had two fairies playing a prank as well. Watch, I'll move it to there. You're right. And then you're like, but I look. Did you? Did you? Did you? Yeah.

And there's the man look. And then everyone's branded with the man look. The men have been being pranked for generations. This is what I'm putting it down to. It is a hit. Check out Jono and Ben, 8.42 on your Thursday. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast. This is Jono and Ben on the hits.

Good morning, New Zealand. It is a Thursday. We've made it a Thursday. And it's a big week here on The Hits Because we've got a guaranteed $5,000 to be won this week It's happening And if it's not won today it means tomorrow Potentially we could be locked down in the studio

For I don't know As long as who knows how lockdown's going to go on for The real lockdown Yeah it's like we're having an extra lockdown If we don't have a winner today So let's try and give away the money today. $7.45, five words for $5,000. Juliet, I hope you've got no plans over the weekend.

I have no plans. Yeah, great, great. It'd be weird if you did have plans in this current environment. Yeah, I know. Yeah, it's really, really hard to make plans at the moment. So yeah, that's the plan. That's our plan, is to give away the money today. If we can't do it today, then tomorrow we just keep playing it until the money is given away.

So $7.45, tune in, you can win five grand. Hey, we've got an exciting show coming up, don't we? We've got Shane Cameron, who's a former New Zealand heavyweight boxer. He's doing something really cool for lockdown, isn't it? It's free. Free for anyone. No matter where in New Zealand you are. You name a place in New Zealand?

Masterton. Free. Name another place. Carterston, next to Masterton. Free. Even Masterton? Name another place. Carterston, next to Masterton. Free. Still free. It would still be free in that region regardless. It's a brand new story. It'd be weird if it wasn't.

That's the cool thing about lockdown. There is some positives amid all this doom and gloom, but some people are doing some wonderful things for the country right now. Yeah. Like Shane Cameron. Brings out the best in humanity. Yeah. And the worst. And the worst as well. But let's be positive. We represent the worst. Shane's out the best in humanity. Yeah, and the worst as well,

but let's be positive because we're a positive show. We represent the worst. Shane's representing the best. We'll talk to him shortly. It is the hits. You've got Jono and Ben. Going hard and ooley.

Go hard, go ooley. Go hard and ooley. Hard and ooley. Go hard. With Jono and Ben. New Zealand's breakfast. You've got kids, Ben. Yeah, I do.

It's not news to you. No surprise to me. Do you find that a lot of the activities that are being passed on by the schools for the children make an obstacle course? Have you had make an obstacle course?

Both Oscar and Poppy have been instructed to make obstacle courses. Oh really? Yeah but you know when it says... For school? For school okay good okay it's for the yeah yeah yeah get out there make an obstacle that'll suck up an hour yeah uh but you know when it's making obstacle course it's always like dad i need to make an i need to make an obstacle course so the obstacle course falls on me you're right you're doing it yeah yeah i'm having to make it up and it's like i had to do two obstacle courses yesterday because they both didn't want

the same one to represent their year they want a bespoke obstacle courses around the house and it's uh well you ended up sort of creating like a uh an 18 obstacle ninja warrior style course in the backyard oh nice with all sorts of things and it's, I see why the teachers do it, because it's a great way to run the kids ragged. Ragged kids is the best way to have kids, I reckon. When they're tired, they're not pinging from, you know, excited about anything. Yeah, just lifeless. Like a carcass on the couch.

But we ended up doing one where it was like, you've got to climb over a tree, you've got to bike sprint, shoot a basketball, do some star jumps, slide down the hallway, bench press the couch. It's like you started CrossFit, but it's already been invented. It was like a decathlon assembled by a madman in the backyard. But that's quite a good thing you should do on an obstacle course today. That's good to know. But then when you make an obstacle course with the kids,

the last thing you want to hear is like, now it's your turn. You never want to do it yeah so i made this for you yeah my body's not in the right form to also the the pack down of those things they're always fun but then the kids are like they're off to do something else and then you're like yes and then you're like oh yeah now why am i packing up all these yeah all these things that we've put out like 18 things we've put out on the yard now i'm gonna put them put them all away. A little lazy boy chair that's now on the lawn. Why am I carrying this back in? That's the thing. I always, in my head, I always think about that. It's like, can we do

an obstacle course? Oh no, because I'll just have to put it all away. It'll take me half an hour to pick it. It's like building a fort inside too. Sheets everywhere, draping over moving furniture. And then you're like, I'm going to fold the sheets back up again as well, but they do love it. Just spare a thought for the organisers of the Paris Olympics who have to pack down everything. Sure Just a fair thought for the organisers of the Paris Olympics,

they have to pack down everything. Yeah, sure, you don't think about that. Not the Paris Olympics, the Tokyo Olympics. Yeah, the pack downs. Yeah, right. That'd be the biggest pain in the arse about putting on the Olympics, is like, oh, we've got to pack down all the equipment. I saw a funny little social meme that just reminded me of Jacinda Ardern

basically playing the floor is lava with New Zealand right now, and if you leave your house, the rest of New Zealand is like lava. It's like everyone playing that game because you're in lockdown. Speaking of lockdown, we turned up the heat a bit, didn't we yesterday? Oh yes. Involved my wife. Yeah. Things got very

weird. Yeah, I was going to say saucy but it got quite weird. We had a big pack down to do after that one as well. That is the hits you got Jono and Ben. From the socially distantly safe two metres. Stay away. This is New Zealand's Breakfast with Jono and Ben. Now, yesterday, Jono, you tried to bring a bit of sexiness to the show.

It's what it's been lacking. It is. It's the one thing that's been holding us down is sexiness. And, yeah, well, in the current environment, what better topic to turn into a a sexy thing frisky then what covid all right yeah you did it yesterday and it was about as bad as we thought it was going to be i don't know if this is the same in your household ben but you know covid and lockdown it's you know not considered a very sexy time. No, it's not, you're right.

Lost its sex appeal, COVID. Yeah, I think lockdown probably has. It's when people seem to be letting themselves go more. The track pants come on more regularly, the care factor. The hygiene standards slip. Yeah. There's not a lot of sexiness orbiting COVID. You're not so worried about

there's going to be a knock on the door at any stage and someone's going to just pop over, are they? Because they can't. So you're right. I mean, you know, aesthetically and physically, you're at your lowest, aren't you? People are at their lowest. And the virus has got a branding problem. It's not very sexy in the advertising world, is it?

It's a horrible virus. We've kind of got these yellow and white striped commercials with just graphics on there. And, you know, there's not much pizzazz around it. So I thought that I might try and sexy up COVID. Oh, no. By phoning my wife. Now, I apologise for what you're probably about to hear on this.

I apologise for the courting that you're about to hear. So what are you – I don't even know what you're doing here, but I'll throw it over to you and I'll just listen awkwardly. Hello? Did I ever tell you your heart is a location of interest? Oh, that's good. It's a nice one.

You must be a flu symptom because you've got me running hot. Right. Yeah, it's only how you make that gross. I want to come over there and take your clothes and put some personal protection equipment on top of that clothing. Are you on a Zoom meeting? Yeah. You're on a Zoom meeting? Yeah

Yeah, a Zoom meeting Yeah, this has got awkward He's suddenly lost confidence in this I panic purchased Yeah, there's one more I panic purchased an excessive amount of toilet paper Would you like to come and use some? That's not even a pick-up line.

No, that's the worst one. Okay. Back to your meeting. Okay, thanks. Yeah, no good. You're good. The lover's gone. The lover's gone.

Trying to spark up the relationship. In the middle of a Zoom meeting. Couldn't have worked any better. There we go, Jono. You've done your best. You're all out there battling away. Yeah, we're all out there battling away. We're all out there battling away. Hard-hitting interviews and

informed opinion. Mike Hosking on Newstalks at B. In the meantime, here's Jono and Ben. The Hits. Thursday morning, you've got Jono and Ben. It is 6.23. Now, we've just got a nice little text that came through to 4487. Yeah, and anything to make us seem nicer, we'll do,

Ben. That's right. Morning, John. I'm Ben. 17 years ago today, the hits did my family a massive favour and sent us a copy of Cruising by Huey Lewis and Gwyneth Paltrow. Do you remember that song? Yeah, from the movie Duets, I think. That's right.

It was a wonderful song, wasn't it? Yeah, it was awesome. It's an interesting combination of Huey Lewis and Gwyneth Paltrow. Oh, they were the actors. He was a dad in the movie. That's right. Yes. 17y Lewis and Gwen Patrick. Well, they were the actors. He was a dad in the movie. That's right. Yes. 17 years ago today, my father died.

And for that, I want to say a massive thank you for sending us the song. Today, I'm asking for one more. Can you please play Cruising? I really need to hear it today. We can do that. I reckon we can do that. Can we put that in and produce Julia? Yes, we absolutely can.

You'd be an absolute monster if you said no right now, Julia. No. I would never. Let's do this. She's like, no, produce Juliet? Yes, we absolutely can. Be an absolute monster if you said no right now, Juliet. I would never. Let's do that. She's like, no, we've got to play another pink song. Who's this for?

Is it Chelsea? Chelsea? All right, if this is for you, Chelsea, we're thinking of you sending lots of love and thank you so much for listening to the hits. I love it when I love it, I love it, I love it.

Cruise with me, baby. I love it. It's Huey Lewis, Gwyneth Paltrow, Cruising. What a lovely song that one is, and that's for Chelsea and her family. Special meaning behind that song today, so it was really awesome to play it for you. Scrolling through your feed. All right, prepare yourself, Altero. You're about to experience a severe outbreak of news. Ben Boyce, what has been happening over the last 24 hours?

Well, as we know, 500 locations of interest right now. Cases, there's over 200 cases. It's our biggest cluster ever. But we're trying to find some lighter news around COVID. And Kiwis are going back to their, you know, IMDB, which is the International Movie Database, where people review TV shows and movies, and they put lots of things on. Well, it started last time in lockdown.

They made the 1 p.m. press conference into its own show. That's right. On there. And people have gone back to review the current season, season three, they're calling it, of the 1 p.m. press. So the 1 p.m. Daily Update season three is getting a lot of great reviews from Kiwis. I just wanted to read my favourite one. An unexpected raunchy twist is the thing.

This new season dropped out of the blue and shocked us all. The core duo of Arden and Bloomfield consistently deliver their usual quality performance, but recent episodes have taken a rather raunchy twist with regular series of regular hipkins encouraging viewers to spread their legs in public. It's an absolute, all in all, a must-watch. I thought that was pretty cool. So I love it how people are going,

they're talking about talking like Dr. Ashley Bloomfield, like Dr. McDreamy, like Dr. Grey's Anatomy. Great cast of characters, a great must-watch, 1pm daily, you can check that out. Season three, so can you binge watch the whole series? I guess you probably could.

You could go back to season one. I guess season two was that other lockdown that was pretty much only Auckland. Yeah, Auckland based.

Well, don't tell me what happens in the end. Oh, yeah. That's really interesting. Obviously, the Paralympics are on

at the moment, but the Olympics was on just a couple of weeks ago, and one of the Chinese Olympic gold medalists has gone on social media yesterday saying that his gold medal is already peeling. Already peeling, starting to chip away. The gold's flaking off. Is it just gold spray paint? I don't know.

He's saying it's peeling, yeah. They've said it's at least six grams of pure gold in there, but he's saying it's peeling, and it's've said it's at least six grams of pure gold in there, but he's saying it's peeling and it's actually a protective coating, he reckons. Oh, no, the committee have said

it's actually a protective coating and the metal's fine. So they've gone, no, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine. So what's the point of the story?

Well, yeah, they're saying it's fine. It feels like a bit of a cover-up job. It's fine, it's fine. Well, you know, they've been hemorrhaging cash

this game. They're like, okay, we may have used a bit of gold-coloured spray paint on a couple of medals Sue us! No, don't sue us We've got no money to pay They're like, come on guys Of all years Yeah, there was no ticket sales

There was nothing We built stadiums You're lucky that we didn't get children at primary schools to cut them out of cardboard Yeah, you're right And that is scrolling to your feed this morning Don't forget, 7.45 we must, this week, we must give away $5,000. Yeah, we must. I was actually just

thinking about those medals. Maybe they pop down to the bloody you know, Look Sharp. You can buy those ones. You can hand out for Player of the Days for the young kids and their little sporting teams. Go down to Look Sharp, pick up a whole lot of... No one will ever know the difference. Well, now they do.

It is the hits you got, John, I bet. Kia ora, I'm Rachel Jackson-Lees, and this is the B***h News. All right, this news bulletin featuring more censorship than a North Korean 6pm update. What's happening, Juliette? So I've found some interesting news stories from around the world, beeped a couple of words out, and you guys have to guess what the real headline is. OK, let's do it.

Barking Mad Dog Groomer spends up to five hours turning dogs into... I'm going to say he's turning the dogs into poker players, like that famous painting. And then making a killing. Yeah, dogs need to be able to play poker in real life. I'm going to say Barking Mad Dog Groomer spends five hours turning dogs into apartments and selling them for a huge profit in central Auckland. Barking Mad Dog Groomer spends up to five hours turning dogs into works of art.

So her name is Anais Hayden, and she basically turns dogs into different animals, looking like tigers, giraffes, peacocks, using dye, but it's non-toxic vegetable based dye. She's done creative grooming for the Hunger Games and if you look at the dogs that she's groomed, they're very colourful. They look like, yeah, she can literally turn them into different animals.

That one there looks like a punk rocker dog. Yeah, very cool. So if you want to spend about $300 or $400 on making your dog look like a different animal or a different coloured thing. Imagine Lady Gaga as a dog. Yeah. And that's how these dogs will look with the costume and the flair.

Yeah, yeah. Obviously on radio you can't see it, but I would recommend having a goog. My dog would not have the patience for that. True. I'd like to sit there for, how long, two or three hours is that baby? Yeah, up to five hours. Although Beau, he's got the white fur, so the colours would look great on him.

He'd look very vibrant, he would, but he's just the patience for it. But your tight bottom's also not loose enough to pay for that either. Yeah, I'd pay for that. It's quite excessive. Yeah, true. The next news story.

Airbnb opens up housing for... I'm going to say Airbnb have opened up housing for me. B&B boys, they've been trading on my initials for too long, B&B, so I've decided about time. They helped me out and let me in on it. I'm going to say Airbnb opens up housing for people who have been left without a house thanks to the Shambolic KiwiBuild programme.

Airbnb opens up housing for 20,000 Afghan refugees around the world. So the CEO of Airbnb announced this on Twitter, saying he hopes that this inspires other business leaders to do the same. This is all around the world. And he also said if you're willing to host a refugee family, reach out and I'll connect you with the right people here to make it happen. What a wonderful gesture. So good.

Just saw on the news, 82,000 people have fled Afghanistan. Wow. Now it's being ruled by the Taliban. Wow. That's scary. So this is really good. A lot of people who need homes. Yeah, exactly.

And the final news story. Frisky, venomous sea snakes are mistaking **** for mates. I'm going to say the snakes are mistaking Orlando Bloom on his paddleboard for another sea snake. Who wouldn't want to make love to that snake? They're like, oh, that's why they're, oh, yeah. Oh, you're not going to get a better answer than that. That was very good. Frisky, venomous sea snakes

are mistaking divers for mates. So it's their mating season at the moment and they've been attacking divers a little bit here and there, especially off the coast of the Great Barrier Reef in Australia. They'll come over to the divers, they'll either sort of try and bite them

or they'll like wrap themselves around the fins and stuff. Seductively freaky? Yeah, scary. Do you know I once spoke to a man who was made love to by a dolphin? He was diving. This is a common thing with divers. As dolphins, they pin them to the floor of the ocean.

It happens. It sounds like you're making this up. I mean, good God. I suppose you're smiling as well. How can you not smile telling that story? Like it's a story that you'd smile through. It's the most bizarre thing ever. He said it was like you can't move because they've got such power and force.

How long did this go on for? You just have to sit there. Oh, no. Up there? I don't know. I didn't ask him how many minutes it lasted for, but yeah. Oh, wow. There we go.

But yeah, it happens a lot to divers. Right, right. It's unspoken, but it goes on down there. And that is the news in beeps for you, featuring a very weird dolphin story. Yeah, I don't know how that took a turn, but it did. And after 7 o'clock we're hoping giving away $5,000. It must be won this week. It is the hit. She got John Owen Baird.

Spy. The What's Up. Spy.co.nz Alright, she's about to bring the noise. Hopefully not too much noise because it's still quite early in the morning, Juliet, okay? Do this at an acceptable level. Okay, so a story came out about Tom Cruise wanting to land and landing his personal helicopter in a random British family's backyard.

He said he was running late and all the family knew before he arrived in this helicopter in their backyard very randomly was that a VIP needs to land their helicopter. They're running late for a meeting. Is that okay? They were like, okay, whatever. Because they probably lived outskirts of London or something. I would be like, are they going to play hourly parking? Yeah.

Looking at Wilson, probably look at $20 an hour. Even before you go to Eden Park, $10, you know, you park there, $10, you know, something like that. Give them a little deal. For sure, for sure. And so the family knew nothing, and then all of a sudden Tom Cruise lands his helicopter. It's now gone up to 60 bucks an hour. Yes, yes.

Raise that capital. But, so he landed his helicopter in their backyard. He had to dash off to his meeting, and then his people then offered them as a thanks, instead of, you know, a parking fee um offered them a ride in tom cruise's helicopter which is a very weird but cool um turn of events i'll take the 60 dollars parking that is good so they did they go for a ride with tom cruise you will not with tom cruise because he had to go to his meeting oh the helicopter was there like is tom coming yeah well i know but the reason why he had to park this helicopter there

was because the local airport nearby was closed for some reason where he would usually park it. So that's how that's my idea. Don't you hate it when that happens and you want to park your helicopter at the airport? Oh, I know. It's a real struggle, isn't it? Happens all the time.

It happened to you just the other day, didn't it? Oh, John, I could have come park in your backyard. I was running late for the show. I said, sorry, my backyard's filled up with all of my helicopters. Such a common problem, too. Relatable. So relatable. But when this came out, James Corden talked about something very, very similar that happened

to him with Tom Cruise. So they were messaging, and a very similar sequence of events happened. This summer, me and Tom Cruise were texting about meeting up in London, right? We're like, hey, man, we've got to get together. And he sent me a text saying, whereabouts are you staying? said I'm staying in St John's Wood which is pretty central in London I said I'm in St John's Wood and he said cool can I land my helicopter there and I just presumed he was joking I sent back thinking he was joking for crying emojis right and he's put does that mean no

so he was actually being very serious about it tom cruise this helicopter seems like a burden it seems like a mess a bit that he's pushing he's making everyone else's problem i know well he did then say um james corden was like oh i don't think you'll be able to land your helicopter where i am because it's literally central london and london is very you know tightly packed um and tom said you'll be able to land your helicopter where I am because it's literally central London and London is very tightly packed and Tom said you'll be surprised where I can land my helicopter. He's obviously done it in some very small locations

before. Well he loves the Mission Impossible so he'll be like you can't, it's impossible mate, you'll watch me If anyone's going to pull it off I've made 5 or 6 movies out of this thing And that is five and we can head to the hits.co.nz. After seven o'clock on the show, your chance to win $5,000.

It's got to be won this week. So let's try and win it. Let's try and win it. Come on. We've got to do it so we don't have to stick around tomorrow. It is the Hits. Pyjamas all day. Fine with us.

Trotto in bed. New Zealand's breakfast. Five words for 5K happens at 7.45. It's a must-win week this week week We're putting our money where our mouth is And that's pretty unhygienic Because money is dirty It's filthy but those are the lengths we're willing to go through For you

And if you want to know more Then get your taringas out to this one Aotearoa It's been a long time since our last lockdown New Zealand will move to alert level 4 It's also been a long time since we've unlocked some five words cash. Well this week the endless disappointment stops as Jono and Ben enter alert level winning.

Someone call Chris Hipkins and tell him that legs aren't the only thing spreading this week. For people to get outside and to spread their legs. Man, it's like... We're also spreading our wallets wide open. That's right. This week is a five words for $5,000 must win week. Oh my God, yes, yes, yes. Come Friday, if we haven't had a winner...

One of us will self-isolate and lock down in the soundproof booth. Until the cash is eradicated. And if winning a cluster of free cash isn't your thing, we're sorry to burst your bubble. And just like lockdown, it's all this week. And depending on how we go, we'll maybe still in the booth next week, possibly the following week, and the one after that. Maybe after that. So 7.45 today, come Come on let's do it together And so it means we don't have to lock down in the soundproof booth tomorrow

It's a must win this week Five words 5k on the hits Just gone 7 o'clock You're on the hits with Jono and Ben The Paralympics Well Kiwi's in action yesterday And our wheel blacks They took on one of the best teams in the world. I think they're the favourite for the gold medalists,

the United States wheelchair rugby side. A lot of the players on the US team are made up of ex-military who lost limbs in wars and things. So very fit people. Yeah. Now, unfortunately, they lost 63-35, but I thought it was a really awesome performance from our lads. Great haka beforehand, and the star player was Barney Kunafunesi,

and we spoke to him a couple of days ago on the show, and he wasn't even going to be there at the Paralympics. Yes, I removed my name from the team in 2019 because I had to focus on other things. So the team got named back in 2020 and the team was secured. And then ever since Cameron Leslie pulled out because of his new baby arrival,

they were like, oh, well, I'm sorry. I don't care if there's a contract. We want to just put you on anyway. So you had no choice? No, they made it clear. If you didn't go, the team's not going. Oh, and you're like, don't do this to me. And so Barney, last night, scored 23 goals.

Yeah, 23 tries. 23 tries. Unbelievable. But we talk about Beaver Donald at the Rugby World Cup. This is a guy who's, I retired. I said I'm never coming. He comes out. 23.

23. It's amazing. Yeah, we have played the wheelchair rugby with him before, and he is incredible. I said I'm never coming. He comes out. 23. 23. That's amazing. Yeah. We have played the wheelchair rugby with him before, and he is incredible. Like, yeah, he's incredible. Yeah, I said to Julia yesterday, he knocked me out of my chair, and the chair has a seatbelt. Yeah, that's true. But that's a word of a lie.

That's a true story. The impact under the seatbelt. I think they've got another game tomorrow, so hopefully they can get through for some medal contention as well, and the Paralympics continues again from Tokyo today. You've got five words. It's a must-win week with five words for $5,000. $7.45 this morning. If it doesn't go this morning, we are locking down tomorrow

and staying here until the money's out the door. And it's Mitch James. Oh, legend. You guys are legends. Oh, you're legends. It's Jono and Ben's ISO Legends. Thanks to Chemist Warehouse. You're a legend. I really love doing this on the show at the moment.

Thanks so much to Chemist Warehouse for getting in behind this and rewarding the people out there in New Zealand doing such amazing work, keeping the country running in essential services, and $250 to spend for them at the Chemist Warehouse is what they're going to get if you want to nominate someone, head to the hitstockcode.nz. Now these people are the ones that they give back to the community. Like, I gave back to the community once. I was in New World, and it was that knife promotion was on,

and I once gave my coupons to the shopper next to me. And that was a generous, an act of generosity. Yeah, right. But you're not up for this. You're not up to me. Has anyone nominated me for the two coupons I gave that random lady? No, no, no. The New World and Whangamata? No? No. All right, right. But you're not up for this. You're not up to me. Has anyone nominated me for the two coupons I gave that random lady? No, no, no. The New World and Whangamata?

No? No. All right, okay. Well, you might be calling me now. Might be trying to surprise me. Who are we going through to? Mel. Heading through to Mel's been nominated by Sarah.

Oh, jeez, Mel's doing some good work here. Almost in the same realm as New World stickers. Good morning. Good morning, Mel. It's Jono and Ben calling from realm as New World stickers. Good morning. Good morning, Mel. It's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits Radio session. Good morning. Mel, I'm going to ask you a question. Have you ever been in New World when they were doing that knife promotion

and handed your coupons on to the next shopper? No. No. All right. Well, I don't know if you're quite worthy for this. No, Mel. You've been nominated by Sarah for all the amazing work you're doing right now. Explain to people listening what you're doing.

What I'm doing, I'm a nurse at Wellington Hospital in the Children's Ward, but I'm also vaccinating lots of people for this horrible COVID. Now, that's your job. That's you and that's professional, Mel. Professional Mel. But you also have three children who are under 11 as well. COVID. Now that's your job that's you and that's professional Mel, profession Mel but you also have three children who are under 11 as well Yes I do. Oh my

gosh your life you just must be running at 120 at the moment Um yes It's pretty busy What are your hours at work at the moment Mel? Um I'm pretty much working full time at the moment. Yeah, so I'm doing, all this week I'm doing vaccinating,

and all weekend I'm working at the hospital. So you're putting some saline into people and good stuff like that? Hey, hey, hey. No, no, no, no. No, no, no. No, that is really good. And so who looks after the kids when you're at work? My lovely husband.

Oh, that's awesome. And he works as well. So we're kind of like, yeah. It's busy, that's awesome. And he works as well. So we kind of like, yeah. It's busy. It's busy. Busy, busy. Very, very busy. Well, we wanted to say this morning, thank you for everything you're doing.

And, yeah, Sarah got in touch with us and said, you are awesome. You're doing such amazing work. And we want to give you a $250 voucher to spend at Chemist Warehouse. You can spend that on yourself. There's heaps of perfumes, there's makeup, there's cologne, aftershave, whatever you want. There's protein bars. Yeah.

You can get protein bars. One thing I love in life. Protein bars. You can spend that on yourself. And thank you so much for everything you're doing. Oh, thank you. Thank you so much. I love Chemist Warehouse. I'm going to be like a child in a lolly shop. Except the lollies are pills. Oh, thank you. Thank you so much. I love Chemist Warehouse. I'm just, I'm going to be like a child

in a lolly shop. Except the lollies are pills. Hey Mel, you keep safe out there in the air. Thanks so much. Cool. Thank you so much.

No worries Mel, have a great day. Thanks again. And for your nearest store, you can shop also online and visit chemistwarehouse.co.nz. They're open early. They close late

right across Aotearoa because they are essential service. We'll do that again tomorrow. So if you want to nominate someone, head to the stock code on NZ. They're open early, they close late right across Aotearoa because they are essential service. We'll do that again tomorrow, so if you want to nominate someone head to the hit stockcode on NZ. Ben and Jono call this show Jono and Ben. Breakfast on the Hits. The Hits. It is it. It's Jono and Ben, 7.24.

Now we're in the middle of lockdown at the moment. We'll find out on Friday what's happening for everyone outside of Auckland it seems, to get the big results. But some people are using this time wisely, and some other people are just using it for whatever. Well, you're using it wisely.

You're teaching yourself while you're doing a te reo course. So you're learning something new during lockdown. Trying to. Which is good. I'm learning to try to not drink. I've done well. Yeah? Done well. Have you? Yeah, no, it's been good. It's been good. It's a battle. It's a battle.. I've done well. Yeah? Done well. Have you?

Yeah, no, it's been good. It's been good. It's a battle. It's a battle. But I'm getting there. But we're talking about, like, cool things that you've taught yourself. And maybe thanks to YouTube,

you've learnt how to do an open-heart transplant. I don't know. Or maybe you learnt that on TikTok. I don't know. TikTok's got a lot of stuff nowadays. Guitar lessons would be quite common. Yeah, John. That's John Keown. We spoke to him the other day, and he was doing guitar lessons over lockdown. You know? TikTok's got a lot of stuff nowadays Guitar lessons would be quite common Yeah John Kuhn

We spoke to him the other day And he was doing guitar lessons Over lockdown You know I mean I guess the important thing is To be kind in yourself You don't have to take up something new But it is a chance

You know Maybe to look into something I did a Rubik's Cube Last lockdown That was my That was my little Little thing I did Which turned into a big thing

Because it's very hard to do Yeah Maybe we could YouTube How to do radio better that would be quite good actually you're right yeah that might be an option as well i looked actually on a list like the most popular things people teach themselves off youtube uh or the internet cooking oh yeah i made scones for the first time ever in my life yesterday well done yum you know they actually turn out good like when you bite them you're like these are not going to be good. They don't look...

Aesthetically, they're ugly. But when they come out of the oven, they're like, not great. Between the oven, it was like one of those extreme makeover transformations. I'm like, this is going to be a shambles. Oh, no, they actually turn out good. So you can cook scones. He can also cook the books as well. He's avoided lots of government tax as well.

Build a computer is a popular one to teach yourself off YouTube. Okay. Which, you know, sounds like a giant pain in the ass, let's be honest. It does a lot, yeah. Play instruments, fix up your home. Defend yourself is the fifth most popular thing that people teach themselves against, you know. Oh, I like it. And attack, you know, a group of Russian henchmen or something from the mafia so you can take on 10 people at one time.

So what have you taught yourself during lockdown? This is what we want to know. Yeah, what are you learning? What are your lockdown learnings, good or bad? We'd love to hear from you on 0800 THE HITS and 4487. We might find some hell pizza, so you can have those for takeaways when it opens up. To where that next?

It is THE HITS. It's Dua Lipa levitating. It is the hits. Jono and Ben, 7.30. Now we want to know what has been your lockdown learnings. Have you taught yourself something? Are you learning something? We'd love to know. Oh, 800 the hits. Now, producer Juliette, you're

creating a piece of art which is based off a popular numbered system. Paint by numbers. Literally painting by numbers, aren't you? Yeah, I'd like to say I'm teaching myself how to paint, but it's very easy. It's basically cheating. So what you get, like, the whole pitch is numbered

and you just paint according to instructions. Yeah, it's all the different lines are there and then, you know, within one sort of lined area will be number seven, and then you match the paint of number seven to that and you fill that area. I think that's how they did the Sistine Chapel, wasn't it? The popular number system back in the day.

Yeah, that one, that colour one, that one too. Oh, you want a green, forest green? All right. Hey, we'll get Rochelle on the air. Welcome, Rochelle. You're from Wellington. How are you? Morning.

I'm good. How are you guys? Lovely to have you on the air. Rochelle, how's lockdown? It's not so bad. I'm starting to get a little bit bored now, but that's all right. All right.

Well, what are you doing to fill in that time? What have you taught yourself? So I've actually done an online first aid course. I've been meaning to do one for a while. Oh, good on you. I've got the time and as I'll get it done and have a look. Oh, that's really cool. I didn't actually know you could do that online.

Yeah, we've got a few courses um here and there for it um to be honest i've been playing around with youtube and i'm just testing out what i could learn and i swear you can learn anything off there yeah well we just talked about teaching yourself how to do an open heart transplant on youtube i'm sure that's on there somewhere probably i wonder if you could just turn up and build a house but only use youtube like you know you could probably do that you probably could you know, like... You could probably do that. You probably could. You know, someone like me who has no ability in building,

you just go, I'll just YouTube everything. Probably still couldn't, to be honest. Yeah, I mean, the council's probably not going to give it a tick of approval, but at least you could go, look at this shack I built. It's barely standing. I did it off YouTube. Yeah, well, it looks like you did. Hey, Rochelle, now we asked someone this the other day

who was working for St. John's, the old bloody pumping resuscitation mouth-to-mouth job. Yes. You can tell you haven't done it before. Yeah, what's the rule of thumb there? Oh, my goodness, you're testing my knowledge now. Oh, you haven't got to that yet? No, I've only just started it.

Oh, you haven't got to that yet? No, I've only just started it. Oh, you haven't got to that video? That's where I let you know once I figure it out. All right, you call us back. So in the meantime, Ben, don't pass out so we don't have to give you mouth to mouth. Staying alive and stuff. But there's a new song now. Yeah, I think you're right.

There was a new song, so someone 4487. I think it's WAP now, isn't it? I think it might be Thank you, Rochelle, appreciate it Tracey, you're on from Christchurch What have you taught yourself during lockdown, Trace? Well, I taught myself how to knit Out of desperation, actually

Oh I was going to say, the reason being Is because, you know how we've all got to wear masks I've got little ears and they're sloppy Sloppy ears and they're sloppy. Not much funny sloppy, but sloppy ears and I can't keep the mask on my ears. It just slips straight off. Oh, floppy ears.

I knitted these ear savers which is just a strip of wool that you knit and you put a button on each end and you bang that and it loops on the mask and hey presto. mask data. You can wear your mask. How cute are your floppy ears, though?

Yeah. They sound adorable. It's pretty sad, but, you know. Hey, well, that's a good adjustment to the mask, too. You could probably sell those. Well, I'm thinking of going into business. Seriously? Yeah, I've got time, and people have said, oh, they're cool.

Can I get some? I'm like, yeah, sure. Yeah, do it, mate. I'm going to get into business and make some money. Yeah, pivot. I know, Juliet, your ears. You don't like, oh, no, you like them wrapped around your ears. You don't like them wrapped around the top of your head, the masks, the elastic bands.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Ben, are you an ear guy? No, I like it around the top of my head. I feel like otherwise it makes my ears sort of stick out. I look like a trophy. Like nodding. I look like a trophy. Like the William and Mary Ballas Cup.

Like one of the All Blacks is going to lift me up and hold me around. We'll get Sian on from Wellington. Maud and Sian, welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. What have you taught yourself during lockdown? I'm learning Indian Punjabi. Oh, wow. That's awesome. From not knowing any? Yeah, from not knowing any. How you going? Not too bad. I can understand the guys

I work with when they rattle off certain numbers and I'll throw the number at them because I'm an essential worker. Right. What do you do? I'm a delivery driver for Countdown. Well, you guys must be flat-tag at the moment, Sian. We are. Yeah, I can imagine how busy you'll be. That was probably the stupidest statement of the year from Jono. Yeah. Yeah, well, that's really cool. How long do you reckon it's going to take for you to learn as much as you want to know?

Probably a little while, but the guys are helping, giving me random words And stuff all the time too So when I actually walk through other places Where there's a lot of Indian workers I can sort of understand them when they say certain words How are you finding time to do this? I've got Because we have set windows For each of our runs

Whichever quadrant we're in So I've got about an hour in between each run Sometimes Is there anything that we as consumers As shoppers can do better whichever quadrant we're in. So I've got about an hour in between each run sometimes. Oh, and so is there anything that we as consumers, as shoppers can do better, can make your life easier? Stop panic buying. Yeah, that's true.

No, you can't tell us to do that. I love it. It's one of my favourite hobbies, getting into panic and buying everything. People start panic buying. Everyone panic buys because you're like, they don't have any. Yeah, so it becomes a cycle of panic buying, doesn't it? Pretty much.

But we're not so bad at the moment because my normal quadrant is a lot of the city. Right. So that'll be a bit quieter than usual, obviously. Oh, well, thank you so much for calling. Not as many businesses. And thank you so much for all you're doing. We're going to send you out some Hell Pizza vouchers. So when you can get takeaways again, you can get those on us.

All right? Awesome. Thank you. All right. Hey, five words, 5,000 bucks. It's a must-win week. Now is our last chance not to be locked in the booth tomorrow. If we don't win today, that's what's happening from tomorrow morning onwards.

We're staying in here until the cash is gone. We'll do that next. It is the hits. Five words for $5,000 on the hits. You're only five words away from a massive payday. It is our game of word association. We play it every morning at 7.45 on the hits. And this week we've guaranteed, because it's been so long since our last victory,

since our last winner, that we'll give away $5,000 guaranteed this week. So we have today. And then if there hasn't been one today, tomorrow we've just got to keep playing it until it's won. This is our last chance. We better give that soundproof booth a good, better undergo a good deep cleaning. Yeah. Probably pre and post, whatever happens. Now we're going to bring Casey on from Masterton.

Oh, Ben Boyce, your hometown, baby. How's Masterton? Sunny today. Sunny today? Sunny today. Are you locked down there, Casey, or are you working? I'm locked down. Partners essential. Oh, right. So you? I'm locked down, parked as essential.

Oh, right. So you're sitting at home listening to the hits, your old mates J and B. Oh, yeah. Pulling you through these tough times. Oh, yeah, you guys are doing a good job, that's for sure. You put a lot of words in her mouth there, John.

Heroes! It should be night. Anyway, I won't put any more words in your mouth. Casey, you need to decide who is going to the soundproof booth. Is it going to be Ben, producer Juliet, or Jonathan? Juliet. Oh! Here we go. I like this. Mixing it up.

You don't like it, do you? It's like, it's quite stressful. It's not that I don't like you guys, but I think Juliet needs some time. She does, actually. She hasn't been used to much lately. Yesterday, you were like, it's quite stressful. It's not that I don't like you guys, but I think Juliet needs some time in that. She does, actually. She hasn't been used to much lately. No. Yesterday you were like, oh, I matched all those words.

Oh, yeah, I did, didn't I? Yeah, afterwards. So you really put yourself out there. What you don't realise that you've done, though, Casey, is logistically it's a bit of a tangle, isn't it? Because Juliet has to go in the booth. I have to come behind the desk and push the buttons and I'm a shaky pair of hands, Ben,

when it comes to button pushing. But that's our commitment to five words, 5K, Jono. So here we go. Juliet is in the soundproof booth. And Casey, your first word this morning is kitten. Kitten, what pops into your head? Hair. Oh, purr.

Yeah, okay, good. Magnet. Magnet. Sticky. What? Dicky. Did you say sticky? Sticky. Oh, sticky magnet. A sticky magnet. Okay. Working with the creative side of her brain this morning, Casey. I love it. Broadband is the third word this morning. Broadband. Surfing. Broadband surfing. Oh, yes. I love the way you think, Casey.

No, I'm with you. I'm with you. I like it. I like it. Bath is the fourth word this morning, Casey. Have a bath. what are you thinking? Bubbles Oh, bubbles

Casey's coming from left field That's good And I like it I do like it Juliet is sort of along the same way But anyway, Casey, you might be playing a good game here in Marsden And this last one is tricky Self

S-E-L-F Self Service Self service? And this last one is tricky. Self. S-E-L-F. Self. Service. Self-service? Oh, yeah, that's good. That's good. Now, is there any of those wild and crazy words that you want to...

I.e. sticky magnet that you might want to rethink? Again, I don't want to put words in your mouth. I've already put too many in your mouth so far. No, I think I'll just stay less creative, I think. You'll stay with Sticky Magnet? Yes. Well, I will be... No, no. Alright, well, let's get Juliet

out of the Zabubu. This is going to be the greatest ever moment. Yeah, it is. Casey did very well. Some unusual options in there. Okay. But, yeah, good luck, good luck. We'll see how you go.

You can go out there if you want. You can go whatever you want, Julia. So go really rogue? Not necessarily. Okay, the first word this morning we said is kitten. Kitten. Cat. Oh, far.

Why did you go creative, Casey? Cat. Oh, far. What? What did you go creative, Casey? She did go creative in her own way. What did you go? I went purr. Purr. Oh, perfect. So the game is over.

That's right. Okay, that's the game. Unfortunately, Casey, you didn't win today. But we had a lot of fun playing the game. Let's quickly go through the next few words. We'll go broadband. Internet. No, I thought she was surfing, which makes sense.

We had bath. Bubble. Oh, yeah, yeah, we'll give you that one. Self. Love. Self-service. And finally, magnet. Fridge

Why wouldn't you go sticky magnet Sticky magnet Sticky magnet I was surprised as you Jude Casey that was lots of fun Hopefully we get to do it again Tomorrow we're going to keep playing it So give us a call let's have another chance tomorrow

Alright thanks guys you're doing a great job. You too, Case. Appreciate you listening. We've got some spy entertainment news on the way. Kanye West may be changing his name. Who knows why? We'll find out what it is next. It is the hits.

Spy. The What's Up by Docco.nz. All right. She's got her oven turned on to 180, and she's about to roast some celebrities. What's going on in Spy Judy? So just quickly, Kanye West is filing to legally change his name

to Yee amid his divorce from Kim Kardashian. So Yee is short for Yeezy, which is kind of like his brand. Yeah, Kanye, they kind of call him Yee. Yeah. He's been using it as a nickname for a while, right? Sings it as a song and so now he doesn't want any last name.

This is just, it's just yay or yee or however he says it. She's got the complications of, you know, driver's licenses, passports, bank accounts. Oh, it's a niggle, isn't it? You've got to change all that stuff, you're right. It's like in Superbad when that character changes his name to McLovin to get a fake ID. You know, just the one weird first name. Do you know Puff Daddy, the rapper Sean Combs?

He's rebranded himself quite a few times, right? At least half a dozen. He's had Puff Daddy, Diddy, Pee Diddy, Puffy, Sean... Diddy! I'm like, we're crouching on another radio station there.

But did he? Gosh, you can change your name a few times. If you could change your name to anything, what would it be? I reckon Ben could be a nice Grant. Okay, Grant's a nice, good, solid, just call it a name, Grant. What could you be? You could be, I could see you as a Sarah

oh yeah well you seem less you don't seem too enthusiastic Grant and Sarah are not cool names is that what you're saying no they're good

they're good names I mean I'm Ben it's the same realm as that but oh you want to upgrade but I feel like we've got to change

your name let's go out there let's go not Grant yeah Grant's great no disrespect to Grant it's a great name grunt yeah grunt's great like no disrespect to grunt that's a great name but

okay then yeah like I'd be like oh I don't know something out there you know I always thought it was something cool like chase

oh god yeah we'll call you lightning maybe Juliet yeah you could be lightning yeah cool that's cool

yeah what would you be something bland I'll chuck it over to you guys. You can do the brainstorming. We can have a little brainstorm and maybe come back. And the naked mole rats are hyphenated. Yeah, that's quite good.

Naked first, middle name mole and last name rats. And moley just for short. Moley, moley, moley. And the baby on Nirvana's Nevermind album cover, his name is Spencer Alden. It's the shot of the baby swimming in the pool naked and that little $1 bill is kind of floating in front of him. It's a very iconic album cover.

Yeah, iconic album cover. Yeah. He is now suing the band for the cover artwork for sexual exploitation and that he didn't really give consent as a baby. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but it felt like he's embraced it over the years, this guy. I think I saw him as a fully grown adult

recreating the image. I think he has embraced it. Now he decided, I think in what I was reading, 2016, he decided, he has no longer, he's had to thought more about it and has no longer, something that he did embrace has no longer gone, hang on, this is not quite right, according to him. Surely he should be going to his parents. Well, here it is, they didn't sign a consent.

Really? They didn't, which you would have thought they would have. You'd think that they would have, yeah. And that's the sort of sloppy admin that gets saline injected into you, isn't it? Yeah. Now, Producer Humphrey, you tried to track him down once, and he was less than enthusiastic about coming. For the 90s week, right?

But now you understand why. If it's something he wants to leave behind, why would he want to come on the show? We thought, because obviously like you said, that he'd embraced it and he was into it, but obviously not. No. So we'll see how that rolls out okay well i get you know a picture of me naked has never been sprawled over the internet so i don't know how i'd feel about it as an adult too and you you know it's his feelings to have yeah are they yeah especially because you had no it wasn't like you put it out there true even though you were a baby not in your control you know imagine your mum brings out your embarrassing photos

at your 21st. And the whole world. But imagine that's on an album cover. An iconic album cover. One of the greatest albums of all time. Yeah, you totally understand that. And that is the hits. That is Spy for more.

You can head to thehits.co.nz. Do you know that happened at Ben's friend's 21st as his mother pulled out a special part? Yeah. Oh, yeah. She kept it in a locket, and it was a procedure that happens generally when a baby's first born to males. And she'd keep the leftovers.

That is just very strange. In a locket. In a locket, and then presented it sort of like a Lion King-esque to him at his 21st. Did he know that she had this? No, I don't think he did. Oh, wow, so it was a real shock. Yeah, I mean, obviously he knew that he had it. It looked like a shriveled-out piece of calamari, I think. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.'t think he did. Oh, wow, so it was a real shock. Yeah, I mean, obviously he knew that he had it. It looked like a shriveled up piece of calamari, I think.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So there we go. After 8 o'clock, Shane Cameron joined us, a boxer who's doing some great things. For free, and you can do it too for free. Yeah, really good stuff. We'll get to him after 8. It is The Hits. New Zealand's breakfast.

This is Jono and Ben on The Hits. Kia ora, good morning. It has just gone 8 o'clock. You're with Jono and Ben on The Hits, waiting to find out today again what the numbers are for COVID in New Zealand. Producer B Humps just came in. He's like, what's your predictions? Everyone throw your numbers in the ring.

How high do you reckon we're going today? I don't know. We haven't reached the peak yet by the sounds of it, which means, yeah. Pick a number. I'm going to say, I don't know know i'm going to say 97 i like to we were talking about the medals i said the other day at the olympics can we start talking about that let's talk about the paralympics yeah it was good when we had more medals than uh covert cases now we've uh but you went to six months we had we were almost six months without covert in the

community 11 days off which is a heck of a run so Do you reckon the rest of the world's like, hey, do you reckon they're like, you were so smug, New Zealand. Such a long time. It was a great effort. You went to a drive-thru vaccination centre yesterday, Behemz. Yeah, it was really good actually. You just basically drive up, stick your arm out the window and you get the jab through the

car window. Hopefully it was the vaccine. It was a really good idea. Then you just stay in your car, you park it for 15 minutes. It was very busy but we were there for two hours but in the scheme of things when you're you know, you're not waiting in a waiting room with other people. You're just waiting in your car

so we had the radio going and playing on our phones and talking and yeah, so it was quite a good experience I thought and yeah lots of people getting it. It was just for essential workers at the start but I guess now they're opening it up to everyone. Yeah, so it was quite a good experience, I thought. And yeah, a lot of people getting it, which is good. It was just for essential workers at the start, but I guess now they're opening it up to... Yeah, they had big signs out saying, you know, pop in.

Like, there's no need for an appointment. Just get in there. And there's lanes for whether you're... There's one person in the car receiving it, two people, three people, four people, or four people plus. So, you know, if you've got a minivan'll um you'll just stick your arms out the windows and can you get out and go sit in other people's cars and have a chat that'll be john i wanted to go hey mate what's your name

oh that's good that's good that the drive-thru seems like a sensible option for vaccines, doesn't it? It does seem like a really good idea. Yeah. You know, we used to be able to go through drive-thru McDonald's. Yeah. We're just going to say, we did want to stop and get a cheeseburger on the way home, but unfortunately that drive-thru was closed. It's the only drive-thru you can do at the moment.

Mmm, coffee breath. Jono and Ben, the hits. Hey, 26 on your Thursday morning. Now, who wants to be a millionaire? Very popular show throughout the world And it's not for, you know, the questions They get tougher and tougher as it goes But they had

So over the last couple of days a question Which they've said was worded the most Confusingly out of all the questions They reckon, and they've said it's the worst Question ever online, so the question Is this Jono, from the 2000 awards ceremony onwards, so from the 2000 awards ceremonies onwards, the best actress Oscar has never been won by a woman

whose surname begins with which one of these following letters? G, K, M, or W. Can I phone a friend? Yeah, well, that's what they did, and the friend didn't have no idea either. The friend would be like, why would you put me in this position, you monster? What?

So basically it's the last name of a person who won the Oscar for the best female. But who hasn't or has? Yeah, has never been won by a woman whose surname... Whose surname begins with... Yeah, that's the confusing thing. That's so confusing. Yeah, and so the answer was G, apparently. Yeah there you go if you're if you're playing at home and the guy took a punt with g as i don't know g and he was right so but my friend

was useless really confusing though could the phone a friend cheekily google i wonder that that's a great phone how many phone of friends do you? I think you can only use the lifelines once or something. Oh, right. Every question, phone-a-friend. You know, mate? Yeah. I was typing in the background. Yeah. There's a huge flaw in the game if they're still allowing that.

Yeah. So there you go. Very confusingly worded question. Well, I guess you have to. I mean, they want to save some money, don't they? Yeah. The production doesn't want to be handing out millions of dollars every episode. Oh, that's right.

Next on the show, Shane Cameron joining us. You'll know him. He was a boxer. He's been on Dancing with the Stars. He's on the Celebrity Treasure Island as well. Wonderful. I always love every time I talk to Shane Cameron, I'm like, every time I talk to this man, he could end my existence at any stage.

One of our greatest boxers is doing one of the greatest things right now. Remember we pranked him once? In hindsight, pranking a heavyweight boxer is probably not the smartest move. He's doing an awesome thing next. It is a hit. So John O'Byrne, 831. Now Shane Cameron was one of our best ever boxers and now he's got

his own gym and he's doing something really awesome right now that you can take part on for free, right? Yeah, that's right. And he joins us right now. Shane Cameron, how are you? Oh, I'm good, boys. Yeah, mate. Great to talk to you.

You too, mate. Always love catching up with you, Shane. Now, you're doing a really cool thing during lockdown at the moment. You're doing Train With Shane, and you've got online classes people can do from the comfort or probably discomfort of their own homes. Yeah, mate. Yeah, no, no. Free workouts.

I do them live every day at 5.30. So if you're keen, you know, go to Facebook and search Lockdown Train Machine. We'll accept you, you know, and the numbers have been going pretty good. And just to keep people active, you know, it's a tough time for everyone, you know, me included, and just got to keep moving. Yeah, and the workouts are catered for all walks of life and no one's going to be I'm not going to be

standing over you thinking hey do more reps because I can't see you firstly it's an honesty system so I can watch it with a glass of beer or something and pretend I'm doing it

yeah I've had a couple of guys I tell them to bring cans and I say a can of baked beans and they go I don't have those but I've got two cans of bourbon that are going to go. So, yeah, because we're watching online, you're kind of using some items that people may have around the house to kind of help with the workout.

Yeah, 100%. Maybe it's just two cans, you know. Well, if they don't have their cans, don't worry, they'll still get a good workout because, you know, I'm sort of included with the boxing, you know, the different combinations. So I just frame things up at the start of every workout and just give them a little tip on their stance and then we get going.

That's an awesome thing you're doing because it's really, as you said before, it is tough on people, lockdown, and it's really hard for your mental state. And so it's good to be doing, getting physical and just doing something, right? Yeah, yeah. And that's as simple as that, isn't it?

Yeah, I'm no doctor, but I know by training, you know, and going for a little sweat out, you know, it's like you've achieved something in that day. You may not achieve anything in that whole day, but I know by training, you know, and going for a little sweat out, it's like you've achieved something in that day. You may not achieve anything in that whole day, but unless you've achieved you're going to have a workout with me, it's going to go for 25 minutes, 20 minutes, unless you've ticked that box off.

And every day it's the same time. So I'm accountable for them, and they're accountable to me too. Let's turn up at 5.30 and let's get it done. What a lovely thing to do. Now, Shane, people will know you obviously from your boxing career but also dancing with the stars as well. What did you find harder? Can I chuck Celebrity Treasure Island in the

mix? Let's go through all of them. What were they like on your body? That's a good question John. Boxing, how often were you training when you were a boxer at peak physical condition? Boxing was certainly the hardest. I trained three times a day and trained up to six hours a day. Wow. So what times

of the day would you train? So I'd train at 5am, I'd go for a run, I'd come back, I'd have breakfast and then I'd have a little rest and then I'd go and do some weights around 11 o'clock and I'd come back, have some lunch, have another little rest and then I'd go back to training and that's when I'd do my boxing at sort of 3, 3 o'clock

4 o'clock. What about Dancing with the Stars? I mean, you guys feel like when you were there. Oh, that was hard. Yeah, a lot of training for that. Yeah, that was hard. Oh, mate, you know, I couldn't dance before, and I still can't dance after. But I put, you know, whatever I do, I always want to be the best at it. Whether I become the best at it, it's hard to be seen.

But, you know, me and Nerida, man, we train like 40 hours Monday to Friday. And then, so, yeah, Treasure Island was just a holiday, really. It probably was for you because you're used to, you know, an athlete being disciplined and stuff like that. It doesn't look like a holiday for us, you know. A little bit like, oh, geez. Not us wussy TV presenters, mate it's doing it tough so how's the how's the gym going obviously at the moment it's tough when you can't have the gym open and you're doing these online courses but

yeah shane cameron fitness are going well yeah you're going good thing well yeah it was going really good and we just you know after the you know the big lockdown initial big lockdown that we had we lost a lot of members um and we just sort of made we just come you know, after the big lockdown, the initial big lockdown that we had, we lost a lot of members. And we just sort of, mate, we just come back on track, hey? And now we're going to, we're really losing members hand over fist already. People just freaking out and can't do their memberships. And just, you know, we just, I don't know. I don't know how long this one's going to go for, you know.

But, you know, and we talk about, you know, everyone's mental health or whatever. You know, that word gets thrown around a lot now. So I suppose it's, you know, it's good for me to keep training. Oh, awesome, mate. Well, that word gets thrown around a lot now. So I suppose it's good for me to keep training. Oh, awesome, mate. Well, that's the thing. Business owners, it's just the uncertainty of when life's going to get back to normal for you. Yeah. Yeah, mate.

And I'm not sure about this one, eh? I'm not sure about this one. But harsher than the first one. Well, you're doing a good thing for Aotearoa, mate, by doing these 5.30 fitness classes. So where can people find them every night, Shane? Just go to Facebook and search to Facebook and search lockdown train with Shane. Cost nothing. And just get into it.

You're on your Shane Cameron. There you go. That's awesome, eh? Yeah. Check it out tonight. 5.30 tonight. You can follow Ben's fitness one as well. What are you doing?

I'm watching fitness videos while drinking a wine. You're still working. You're still participating in a way. Eh? Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys weekdays from sex on the hits And via the iHeartRadio app Jono and Ben on the hits breakfast

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