Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: Jono Has The Best Hack For When You Have Too Much Rubbish To Fit In Your Big Bins!

Episode Date: January 26, 2022

Nothing worse than when you can't fit all your rubbish into the bins before you put them out. Most of us sneakily try and put the excess in our neighbours' bin, but Jono has a hack if you're scared about being caught by your neighbour! GEEENIUSSSS! We delved into the tiny things that really test a relationship, and also discussed what feels illegal, but is only just a little bit naughty. Finally, financial expert Hannah McQueen explained to us why this year you should be pitching for more money (hint: inflation) and she explained in a way so us dummies could understand. Wooo! Enjoy!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, with the Jono and Ben podcast. Breaking news, to start the podcast intro. Oh really, what's up? Would you like the breaking news? Oh, it's never positive news, aren't they? Yes, but this is, I think this is a celebration. Okay, what's up? Okay, Olympic great, Hamish Bond, retires from rowing.

Oh, a legend, I mean not just Olympic, like uh... Not just rowing great though, he's done... He did the eights? Yeah. Was he a sailor? Was he on Team New Zealand? Yeah, he was cycling as well, too. Yeah, he went cycling as well.

He was a sailor. Yeah. Yeah, so that's breaking news. Just come through now. What a lustrous career. Congratulations. What a lustrous career. Yeah.

I wish you could say that about you. I can never say... When you... You know, when my notification comes up, Ben Boy steps down from the microphone, what do you think the comments are going to be in there? It's not going to be illustrious. It'll be good riddance to bad comedy and things like that.

That's what people would say. Comedian. No, the first comment will be under your article. Who? Who? I don't know. The guy who's been doing this job for about 25 years? Who?

You're right. And then they'll go comedian in quotation marks. Comedian? That's an oxymoron. Yeah, exactly. You're right. And then they'll go comedian in quotation marks. And then they'll go comedian. That's an oxymoron. Yeah, exactly. Hasn't been a good comedian since Billy T. James. That was something that was written on our thing the other day that I read about us. Which is true. I mean, Billy T. James was the legend.

But there have been good comedians since Billy T. James. Oh, and you see a lot. I mean, you've got, you know, Dyer Henwood, Ursula Carlson. There's so many. Yeah, we have got a lot of great comedians. I don't like it in the few articles that they have done with us Ben when they do call us comedians because you're like

I don't consider myself one probably more of a an established broadcaster how would you put yourself in this? an established broadcaster a broadcaster is probably quite good a broadcaster who's hung around for too long.

Well, a comedian, like, as soon as you say comedian, they're like, all right, make us laugh, you know? Whereas, you know, like, if you say broadcaster, you're like, well, I'm broadcasting. I can hear them through the radio. They're doing their job to a satisfactory level. Yeah, it kind of takes the pressure off, I find. Yeah.

But, yeah, that's really good. Good on you, Hamish Bond. Yeah, a three-time Olympic gold medalist. Then he won six World Rowing Championships gold medals. Six of those. Then he returned to, of course, as you said, winning gold in the men's eight as well in the Olympics. Eric Murray and him were a duo for many years, weren't they?

That's right. With the Jono and Ben of the water. Well, no. The guys that they bet were the Jono and Ben of the water. Well, no. The guys that they bet were the Jono and Ben of the water. The Netherlands team. We were like, coming in eighth and stuff like that. Really working hard. Jamaica. But not doing that great.

Yeah, no, that's good. Eric Murray is I love both of them. They're very nice guys. But Eric Murray seems mad dog. Wouldn't you put Eric Murray in the mad dog category? Yeah, but he's really good. You'd have a fun night out with Eric Murray. But we're just hard asleep.

Remember watching the Olympics? Remember that shot? They filmed him watching and he was crying and stuff. Oh, the last year, last Games win, we did so well. Yeah. And he had tears rolling down his face. I know, which is awesome. With Emma Twigg in particular.

Yeah. Because he had known what she had gone through to get there. So yeah, no, it's a lovely, lovely guy. They secretly stitched

him up, they filmed him while he thought he was just watching the race and put it on telly but it was wonderful, wonderful footage. Yeah,

no, it was wonderful. But you still have a great night out with him. You and me both know it. You know you go out

with Eric Murray, you know coming home for three days. Kiss your family goodbye. You end up rowing home from somewhere. You're like, how did I get back from there?

I enjoyed the podcast today. What did we do today? God, I've drawn an absolute blank. We spoke to Hannah McQueen, actually, financial advisor. Everyone's going on about inflation, highest inflation for 30 years. So we had the big questions. Firstly, what is inflation? Yeah, yeah.

And how is it affecting us? And she basically lets you know if it's a good time to ask for a pay rise or not. Now, work has got us to fill out a questionnaire. This is something that you have a rich history of not doing at work. Remember last year, Boss Todd last year, who was our boss last year, he was like, please, for me, would you please? In the meeting, he was like, please, I need to get this form through, please. And you still didn't do it.

It was. You're like, sorry, man, I forgot. He had the look of desperation in his eyes. It was like a management feedback form. And hey, I love Boss Todd. He's fantastic. And I should have filled the form out. But I'm not a form guy.

But the grand scheme of things, they're a great idea because they obviously give everyone their chance to put input into the company and make things better. Even when you're flying on a plane, Ben, you'll know this as well, the customs declaration card. I don't even fill it out on the plane, and I'm filling it out in a fluster and a panic because you're just coming up to the customs queue. I just don't like it. And so the latest form is an achievement a personal achievement form

so everyone in the team fills out this form you know what they would personally want to achieve this year and also any any thoughts they had

on the radio station you know it's a great form to fill out yeah but it's interesting because we all filled out this form about things we wanted to achieve

three things and then we talked about it afterwards go what did you write and producer Bee Humps I mean afterwards Go what did you write And producer Bee Humps I mean a gold star What did you write Yeah you really

You had great things Yeah like Oh well I just put down Because it was professionally or personally So you could do whatever Yeah it kind of bamboozled me With the professional or personal Little in brackets there

Well you're like why does Bogsy the CEO Want to know what I want to achieve personally in my life? You know, mow the lawns regularly. I don't think he cares about my hedge one iota. Well, I thought maybe he would. So I went really like, tidy the garage,

drink more water, things like that. Drink more water! I always say every year I'm going to drink more water. So maybe this is the year I want to achieve that. And what did you do?

What did you produce a bee hums? I wanted to grow the audience for the to achieve that. And what did you do? What did you do, producer Behemz? I wanted to grow the audience for the show. Great, that's perfect. That's stuff Bogsy would like to hear. Does he want to hear about my water intake? No, probably not. Ben's getting his eight glasses a day. I want the

show to win an award. Another great one. Nice! Oh, those are good ones. And the last one was like making impact, something we do that makes impact. Yeah, getting are good ones. Yeah, see, and the last one was like making impact, something we do that makes impact. Yeah, getting a moment that captures global attention. Oh. That is great.

See, well done. I wish I'd written all those mistakes. Ben's like showering regularly, keeping up an acceptable level of hygiene, tuning up to work 75% of the time. Now I've said that on air, I feel like I'm going to be fired at the end of the year if I don't take those boxes. No one knows, apart from me, if I drank more water or not.

I'll be like, yeah, I achieved that. Don't forget to bring your swipe card in. What did you write, Ju? I think I wrote, go to bed earlier. Oh, there you go. Keep up with my exercise. And I can't remember the third one, actually. I filled it out quite a while ago.

So, yeah, so you're good times. If I haven't written anything, you won't be surprised. But I might just write, just try existing for another 12 months. If I do that, I'll be happy I've achieved something this year. That's the problem with achievements. We set these, you know, why are we all striving to achieve stuff? Like, lower the bar. You know, being you doing your water thing, you can do that.

Yeah, it's good for me. However, making international news. It's going to be tough to do. Hey, next, questions that you can ask Siri. You saw this on the project the other night. Yeah, there's some fun stuff you can do with Siri. And I don't know what made that sound weird.

But I'll list what they are. Next. Maybe I don't want to hear that sound weird, but I'll list what they are next. Maybe I don't want to hear about this. I'm going to have a glass of water and we'll be back. Now, Siri, the AI, the advanced... What's the I stand for? Artificial intelligence. Artificial intelligence. The A's not even advanced.

The thing that you haven't got. Yeah, no intelligence. No, you don't know that word. That's why. Jeez. So Siri, you know, is the Apple version of like Alexa. Yeah. Where it's a function on your phone where you can just go,

hey Siri, ask a question and it'll come back with an answer. Hey Siri, call Ben. Hey Siri, can you do my taxes? Or you can set the alarms, all sorts of stuff. I've taken mine off. Oh, you have? I don't like them. Oh, you know me, I don't like them.

That doesn't surprise me. I'm like, I've read some article, the phone's always listening. What's it doing? Why is it taking the information? I'm like, I don't want the phone always listening. So I've taken it off. Because we were just talking about Siri in the studio before, and your phone started to go, yeah, it popped up.

So I'm like, I don't want it listening. Yeah, but what does Siri want to do with your phone conversations about like, hey, can I just order 29 pots of hummus online? I don't know, but I was just like, I don't need someone else listening. Eve's dropping on my stuff, you know? Every morning there's people listening to you. Yeah, well, that's fine. He had enough.

By 9 o'clock, he doesn't want anyone else listening to him. Fair enough, I understand it. But I feel like we spend, as a human race, a large part of our time just trying to screw over Siri. You know, ask questions, trip Siri up to prove that we're smarter than the AI, whatever that stands for. And so I found this guy asking maths equation online. What's the factorial of 100? The answer is 93326215

43944 1800 That's a win for the human race, isn't it, eh? Suck on that, Siri. How many O's at the end of that? Apparently it's a 153-numbered number. Wow.

So it just keeps going. Oh, jeez. Yeah. Also, Siri got the answer right. Yeah, but... And also looks like an idiot. Yeah. Now, they've got a list here of fun questions you can ask Siri.

Okay. And the fun responses you'll have back. Ben, you will never get this because you've turned Siri off. You've deleted her... off you've deleted her when i can use but it's not listing i have to go and access it through my phone i have to choose you broke up with her in conversation with siri it's not me it's definitely you you're waiting me out listening to everything i'm saying uh so here's the first question hey siri do you have a boyfriend? No, but I'm always dating Try saying, hey Siri, what's the date? Dating, yeah, what's the date?

That's good, that's good A little bit of a dad joke from Siri Yeah, so maybe you might turn Siri back on Might turn her on Okay, next one Hey Siri, I see a little silhouetto of a man. Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango? Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very frightening me.

Galileo, Galileo. Galileo, Galileo. Galileo, Figaro Magnifico. I'm just a poor assistant. Nobody loves me. It's just a poor assistant from a poor family. Spare it its life from this monstrosity. It keeps going.

Wow. Really? Siri? Yeah. She finished the whole song. Let it go. Bismillah. We will not let you go.

Wow. Okay. And the third one, this is another fun thing you can ask Siri. Screw Siri over with. Knock, knock. Sure. Knock, knock. Sure. Knock, knock. Who's there?

A little old lady. A little old lady who? I didn't know you could yodel. How about another one? Knock, knock. Who's there? She's still going. Arthur.

Arthur who? Arthur, any more knock, knock jokes in here? Let's find out. Knock, knock. Who's there? Knock, knock. Utah. Utah who?

Utah kin to me. Oh, my God. Haha. So that's some stuff you can do to fill in with your day. Yeah. Yeah. That's if you don't have anything more important on your list. Oh, geez.

There we go. Stuff you can ask Siri and it's a hit. You got it, John. I'm Ben. Scrolling through your feed. While those dry wheat mix are sapping up every last bit of moisture from your mouth, let's quench your thirst with some current events. Ben Boyce.

56 cases of Omicron now the Ministry of Health have confirmed in the community, and it says yesterday it was aware of a number of cases who attended a festival in Hamilton over the weekend. Sound splashed by the sound of it. And one person told the project at 7pm on 3 last night about testing positive. And what she was going through. I'm not feeling too good, to be honest. I'm having a pretty rough time with COVID.

I think I'm experiencing pretty much every symptom, which isn't great. It's not very fun. Did you joke about getting COVID when you were there? Yeah, we were all like, oh, ha, ha, ha, this is going to be like the last hurrah of the summer, and then we all tested positive, so it was sort of a bit of a slap in the face.

Oh, ha, ha, ha. But when you're in those moments, hey, we'll be there, you know, this is never going to happen to us. This is going to be a super spreader event, ha, ha, ha. And weren't they all sharing bottles as well? Everyone was sharing bottles. No sips, big sips. No lips, big sips or whatever the rules are.

But hey, who would have thought you'd get COVID at a giant festival sharing bottles? Not me. I wouldn't have picked it, Julie. You've been to many festivals, a couple of festivals over summer. Yeah, yeah. I think at that stage I wasn't quite worried about it because... Neither were they. No, well, yeah.

True. Even though I knew that Omicron was going to come eventually, I didn't think, yeah, I thought I was safe. Right. Even though I probably wasn't. Yeah. But then it's the whole balance of being protective and being sensible and then also trying to live your life with the conditions.

Yeah. They weren't doing anything wrong. They were. Sharing bottles, obviously, maybe. But going to a festival was fun. It was totally fine at the time. At the time, so yeah. Interesting times't doing anything wrong. They were. They were sharing bottles, obviously, maybe, but going to a festival was fine. It was totally fine at the time. At the time, so yeah. Interesting times we live in

and in the world. I know, I know. It's my worst fear to host a super spreader event. Yeah. Wouldn't it be yours? Yeah. And Ben Boyce had a barbecue

which turned into a super spreader event. Oh, what? Do you have a barbecue? What's in the laws of the year? We're sharing bottles. Yeah. And Joe Biden, the President of the United States of America, he's been caught on what they call a hot mic.

I like how they describe it as a hot mic. They do everything better in America. Yeah. So he was caught on microphone. We just say the microphone's turned on. Yeah. It was turned on. He didn't quite realize it was turned on at the time.

So it was a bit of a press conference. Reporters were asking him some questions, and he called a reporter from Fox News this. That's a great asset. Thank you. More inflation. What a stupid son of a bitch. Oh, and apologies to that son of a bitch's bitch mother for that comment. But the good thing, you know, about Trump is that he would have even just waited

until the microphones were hot, were on, to say that. Oh, yeah. He'd be like, that's my, I'll do that on stage. It's right. Biden's doing it behind the man's back. But, you know, to be fair, he was born in 1942. He probably thinks it's still acceptable to call people that. And one of his, I can imagine one of the aides from the White House is like,

you know, Mr. President, you can't call people sons. And one of his, I can imagine one of the aides from the White House is like, you know, Mr. President, you can't call people sons of bitches. And he's like, all right, hot cheeks, get out of here. And also, you know,

the microphone, how that works, you know. Is it still on? Is it, yes, once it's turned on, unless you turn it off, it's still, you know, everyone can hear it.

It'd be hard for him to get his head around at that age. I remember once we were doing the afternoon show, Ben Boyce, and we had recorded the last sort of 20 minutes of the programme

after six o'clock at night. And I was driving home and the bit we recorded we hadn't edited and the microphones were still on. They were hot. Stuff we were saying was spicy. Really? Spicy stuff. You know, words that I didn't even know my mouth could say.

We're coming out and I'm driving home and there's nothing you can do. Except just listen to it and you're like, oh no, there's more coming. There's more. And then I said that. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. You know, every swear word. Worst nightmare.

Oh yeah. They all came out. You know, we get a wide range. We're here. We're doing it live. It is the hits. You've got Jono and Ben, 6.32. Jono and Ben, the hits.

Dua Lipa with Elton John here to cancel two upcoming shows in America because he's got COVID on, Jon. So hopefully he gets a quick recovery. Second time he's had that. First time was when he arrived here in New Zealand on our shores with walking pneumonia. Yeah, you keep saying it was COVID, but it was never good. Have you heard of walking pneumonia since? No, I haven't.

Had you heard of it before? No, I hadn't. True. Now, I don't know if you guys are the same, but sometimes you say stuff. In your head, you're like, well, maybe I said it. It wasn't entirely correct, but I want to have a moment where I look cool in front of other people yeah i know you know you know i've got the crowd i've got the room just let me entertain yeah so i had a moment over the holiday break um where you know because backstory and as you know john i'm i'm no good with i'm no good with driving driving

is not my not my thing and i'm backing a trailer i have no business backing a trailer i have no business parallel parking a car you know like that's that's kind of my thing. Backing a trailer, I have no business backing a trailer. I have no business parallel parking a car. That's kind of my thing. As long as he's just moving forward, he's in a safe, happy place. Captain cautious on the roads. Anyway, we stayed at a friend's batch over summer, and there was a lot of people staying there. So my wife found this place online that hired caravans.

The great thing was they delivered the caravan. These people came, delivered the caravan. To where you needed it. Yeah, and then they picked it up a couple of days later. Oh, so you don't even have to be a pain in the ass on the road. I know, it's the beauty of it. Other motorists don't like that. That's your worst fear too, other motorists not liking you.

I know. So you got to enjoy all the benefits of a caravan without being a pain on the road and all that. It's a wonderful family hotbox situation, a caravan, isn't it? Yeah. But where they parked it at our friend's batch, it was a tricky wee park, and I was so glad at the time watching them do it.

I was like, I'm glad I didn't have to do that. Oh, so the caravan people turn up, they do it. They put all the water underneath so it doesn't roll away, all that. And I bet there's a lot of pressure on them too. They've got the whole batch watching them do this. They did a fantastic job. They left left and then later on some other friends were there and they were like oh stay in the caravan a lot we are and they're like oh great parking to get the caravan it must have been tough parking that caravan there oh no and i kind of went yeah

yeah it was thinking well that's it was it was for them the people parking it but you took the reverse parking credit. And they were like, you must be good with backing a caravan. I'm like, oh, not too bad. I can't have that moment. And that moment I was like. So you're not lying. Yeah.

Because you're like, I've backed something before. Yeah. But then my family, who could have left it, could have left that moment and gone, well, you didn't back a caravan. These people dropped it off. And I was like, oh, just for a moment I wanted it to look good. I had the room. Everyone was like, wow, you didn't bat a caravan. These people dropped it off. And I was like, oh, just for a moment, I wanted it to look good. I had the room.

Everyone was like, wow, he packed it. It's a tight pack. I was like, yeah. And I didn't feel like I was fully lying. But then my family had to shoot me down going, well, you didn't bat the caravan. These people came around and they put it there. And then everyone sort of looked at me like,

why'd you lie about that? Yeah. Well, you do come from, and I'm surprised you can't back a caravan. You do come from a long line of caravan lovers in the boys' street. It drips through your ancestry, doesn't it? That's right. Down the family tree because your grandparents opted full-time to live in a caravan while they had a house.

Really? Yeah, so they were about 15 metres away from the house. They live in Amberley Beach out in North Canterbury. And they were doing renovations of the house. They were like, oh, we'll sleep in the caravan until they're done. And then we're like, no, we like the caravan. So they'd go out every night 15, 20 metres from the house. Ben reversed it back in there for them.

Great parking. Great parking, I'll tell you what. It was. You got the hits. It is Jono and Ben. Jono and Ben. Breakfast on the... Yeah, you know.

Yeah. Nah. You know. The home of... Yeah, nah. She'll be right. And at the end of the day... Jono and Ben. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the... Yeah, yeah, nah. Yeah, nah. Yeah, nah. The home of yeah, nah. She'll be right, and at the end of the day... Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. You were mentioning yesterday, Oscar, my son, that you think he's a clone of myself,

just, you know, in personality type, non-stop talking, very impulsive. Whatever is in his head, he'll go and do immediately. And so I get home yesterday and he's been watching an old episode of Lego Masters on Demand. Right. Okay, so halfway through the episode of Lego Masters on Demand, he's seen how they display their Lego on the show.

So you know when they're like, you know, go and get your Lego and they go to this wonderful organized, it's almost organized by color. All the colors are in different boxes. They've got an amazing room where everything's, yeah. Beautifully tidy, organized Lego room where all the pieces have been meticulously placed. And he's like, stops the episode. He's like, I need to do this to all of my Lego.

Oh no. And I was like, mate, you know, there's over a decade's worth of Lego that we've purchased here. Are you sure you want to do this? Yep. He's like, get me. He's like, I need all the glad containers in the house. I'm going to sort every bit of Lego out by color, and I'm going to do the whole thing. And so we've got this giant tub.

And so he lifts it up, and I have to help him lift it up. And we pour out, I think, probably every piece of lego in australasia all over the carpet and uh then about five minutes into his uh sorting the lego operation he loses interest he's like this was a bad idea dad and i was like yeah well i told you it was a bad idea he you know he I was like, yeah, well, I told you it was a bad idea. He hadn't even done like five pieces of yellow into one container. He's like, this is going to take me. You can see where this is going and how long it's going to take, yeah. And he's like, I'm due at a birthday party.

I'm like, what? He's like, I've got to go to a birthday party. Who's going to clean up all this Lego, which is literally sprayed over every part of the room. He's like, well, can you do it for me? Classic. That is so good. You don't have the attention span for this either.

And I didn't want to do it. I knew what was going to happen. Every adult knows what's going to happen. It's like those things when you watch people making banana bread on Instagram. You're like, I've got to go make some banana bread. And you lose interest quickly, don don't you as soon as you get the squishy bananas in your hands so he goes off to the birthday party i'm like i need to clean up 1 billion pieces of lego and so i get a steel frying pan and i'm having to scrape it and

scoop it in and it just it took me about 45 minutes and this this was me. I was like, I need to record this. This is me scraping the Lego with this frying pan, loading it in, then dumping it into the giant. That is a lot. That is a lot of Lego. And I tell you, I know there's a lot of conversation around building supplies and the shortage in the supply chain. Well, if any builders are struggling, just come to my house.

I've got plenty of Lego for you to finish your projects. It's not colour-coded, though. You'll have to do that yourself. It's going to take you a while to sort that out. We've got some Spy Entertainment news up next. Yeah, Piers Morgan is ripping right into someone who is very dear to my heart. Not Piers Morgan, surely.

I know. You're so positive. We're getting sick of Piers Morgan ripping into me. He ripped into Jacinda about two days ago. I know, it's ridiculous. Find out who he's upset with now. It is the hits. We now proudly present producer Juliet with all the wholesome news

about the latest celebrity sex scandals. So, Ju, come on in with Spy. So, Piers Morgan seems to have run out of Meghan Markle material because he's now slamming Adele for cancelling her Vegas shows. He called her a staggeringly rich, privileged and pampered prima donna. He said COVID was just a convenient excuse for the more likely truth, which is that Adele didn't prepare properly and didn't visit the stage before it was too late. And then threw an extended diva fit of biblical proportions.

Well, apparently she wasn't happy with the set design of it and they've used COVID as an excuse. And her and the set designer had it out, apparently. But you'd think someone would have sent her a selfie of them on the stage going, hey, what do you reckon, babe? Updates. Yeah. Very true.

I read the article that Piers Morgan wrote, and he was kind of like, Freddie Mercury was literally dying of AIDS and still said the show must go on and wrote an entire album. Wrote and sung an entire album. That was his. So he was like, if Freddie Mercury can write an album while he's dying, you can get on stage for 500,000 pounds a night, even if the stage isn't perfect for your fans. She's done a lovely thing for her fans, though. We talked about this the other day. She sort of video called some of them because a lot of them went to Vegas and

couldn't cancel their plans. But one of my favourite things was Mike Roberts, who we love, talking about it on 3 News and he had a little bit of an Adele joke. Well, Adele has been trying hard, remarkably hard in fact, to cheer up some of her fans who missed out when her Las Vegas concerts were postponed.

The singer has been calling them up individually and saying, well, hello, of course, to these Sanjita Condola reports. Classic. Very good joke. It's good for a McRoman talk. It is beautiful. In terms of news banter, that was bad.

Yeah, you don't hear much banter on the news, so it's quite nice to hear a little bit of a joke. And when you do, it's usually from the sports presenter back to the news. You're right, that was a balls up now. They've never quite nailed that, but that was a lovely delivery from Mick Roberts. Well done, Mike. And Bradley Cooper nearly quit acting for good. He obviously had, I would say, arguably hit his peak with A Star Is Born, because that was phenomenal.

Oh, so he's on the downhill slide now, is he? What are you? No. If Cooper's on the downhill slide, what the hell are we? Where are we sitting with you, Ju? I don't know where we are. We're at the bottom of the hill already. But he had decided to finish up and he got a call from a director, Paul Thomas Anderson,

to star in a movie called Licorice Pizza. And he knew kind of in his head already before he got this call that he would have done anything to work with this particular director. So as soon as he got this call, he was like, well, can't quit acting. I'll star in this one. But maybe he will finish up after this, or maybe he'll get the bug again and continue on. But we might not have ever seen Bradley Cooper in a new movie again.

Well, if he does get the bug, don't continue on. Isolate. Take a rapid attitude test. If anyone else in the household gets it, you go back to day one. Okay, he knows the rules. Yeah, well, does he? It's quite confusing, the whole rules. And that's five this hour.

For more, you can head to thehits.co.nz. Jono and Ben. Mornings from six on The Hits and streaming live on iHeartRadio. I want to know, on 800 The Hits, what's your relationship tester? The thing you do with your partner that sort of tests the foundations of your relationship. It feels like your foundations have been rocked to the core. But on something that on the surface I didn't think would rock there. Something that both my wife and I kind of enjoy doing.

Just the teaming up together. The experience maybe wasn't as enjoyable enjoyable so it's an act you both prefer separately well yeah now as a team as a doubles act it's not something i do regularly yeah so i was doing a puzzle my sister sent a puzzle a christmas present for us a thousand piece puzzle the simpsons i was like this is great this is cool do you like puzzling do you well i've done a couple of times over summer you know it's kind of one of those things you have a couple of drinks maybe watching something on netflix a couple of times over summer, you know. It's kind of one of those things. You have a couple of drinks, maybe watching something on Netflix. You do a puzzle, you know.

And so my wife and I... What are you, a 65-year-old woman? Have a couple of wines, do a puzzle. You know, it's a lovely night in. It's a great night in. It's a great night in. So my wife and I decided we'd do this puzzle together. You know, we're like, we'll team up, we'll do this together.

Husband-wife duo, okay. And we ended up just, you know, it was just a'll do this together husband wife duo okay and we ended up just you know it was just a frust I mean the puzzle was frustrating and that caused the frustration to sort of boil over and then I would you take shifts on the puzzle would you no we'll try and do it together at the same time right and then I I had because a poster came with a puzzle and I have it and I put it on the wall and I'll be looking at this thing and she was like you're like a meme you're like one of those Frazzles conspiracy theory meme where I'm like,

it goes there, this piece goes here and this thing over there. I was like, oh yeah. So the other night, to make it worse, she went out and we were getting close to the end and I was like, you know what, I'll do it. I'll get this done so we don't have to speak this puzzle again, I'll finish it. And she'll be so

happy when she gets home. Oh, you're're gonna haul it across the finish line okay all right without her yeah yeah right this was a bad idea because she came i could have told you that's a bad idea and she was i was like guess what i finished she's like oh you didn't finish the puzzle without me did you i was like no and then you start knocking pieces off. I didn't have time to do that. I did not. And so she's like, now I don't get the satisfaction of finishing the puzzle. So I was like, well, I'll take a piece out. You put that one back in.

It's not the same. It's not the same. No, it's not the same. It's not the same. So the puzzle was a relationship tester. It can be. It can really take you through. It does. I always find uh

when you get into a hole of uh trying to figure out who's more tired you know yeah and you both yeah you both probably got an argument but there's no official measurement system to prove who's more tired i've been doing this you know when you come it's like a game of tennis isn't it yeah who's works more busy oh i'm busy doing. You make up some things that you're meant to be doing just to look busier. Oh, we've had so many meetings. I know. It's hard when you're like, whose job's more important and your job is a radio announcer. Yeah.

You don't have much of a leg to stand on. Exactly. So we want to know this morning on 0800THEHITS, what's something you've done with your partner? Maybe at home, maybe out and about that you go, oh, this tested the relationship. Something that maybe you didn't think was going to test the relationship. I'd love to hear from you this morning on New Zealand's Breakfast. Jono and Ben, the hits. It is the hits.

Jono and Ben, we want to know the relationship tester, the thing that you do with your partner that maybe tests the relationship. Producer Julia, you were saying something interesting while that song was playing. When you watch an episode of a Netflix or a TV show without them in, it was one that you agreed to watch together. Yeah, you'd always sit down and watch it together. And so if one goes ahead, you're in trouble. That's right.

Yeah, someone's texted saying 4487 Golf is a real relationship tester in this lady's relationship. And one day he kindly invited her to come along as a caddy. To caddy for him. And apparently that turned out. Even just like making, come along as a caddy, you know, it's not playing. It's like, but you can carry my clubs around there. Yeah, I can see how that turned out.

By a whole eight, I think it was a, you know, a Tiger Woods ex-marriage situation going on there. There weren't affairs happening. I don't know. I'm just making up some words. I was just trying to make a golfing reference, Ben. I'm just trying, mate. I know.

Just trying out there. So 800 The Hits, what is a relationship tester for you? Laura, you're on from Auckland. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Good morning. And what is it in your relationship, the big tester? So it's when myself and my husband might be having an occasional debate about something, and then he tells me to calm down.

Oh, jeez. It's like throwing a Molotov cocktail on the argument, isn't it? Just calm down. You're like, oh, it doesn't wind you up. It doesn't wind you up. Then I'm not calm. Then I'm not calm. I don't think anyone in the history of ever being told to calm down has ever calmed down.

Do you think so? No, you're right. You're right. Laura, that's a really good call. Appreciate it. Evelyn, welcome to the show. Morena, the relationship tester for you. Lots of times in the evening my husband says, let's watch a movie, shall we?

Sure. And then we sit down and go through Netflix together and we can't find one that we? Sure. And then we'd sit down and go through Netflix together, and we can't find one that we both like. You can never agree on it. Yeah. Yep. And then we'd look at so many of them, and I'd just get so frustrated, and I'd just walk out of the room,

and it's like, I'm over this. It's just so crazy, because there's so much choice. But never mind. I fully agree. Then you just sort of end up watching like country calendar on one tvnz1 or something like the equivalent we used to go to a video store back in the day you walk around for ages what about this one what about this one yeah it's the same thing appreciate your call evelyn really do uh james welcome you're on the air what's your relationship tester

i feel like uh for me it's pretty much every time uh me and the missus try and build a flat pack. I'm like, Taylor. Every single time. I get you, James. I don't know what monster invented the flat pack, but clearly their relationship didn't work out and they wanted every other couple on the face of the earth to feel their misery. So he's like, well, I'll invent furniture that's not complete

and they can do it together as a couple. Yeah, to test their relationship. It is tough. I struggle with these things. I would rather buy the one in the store even if it's got banged up and scratched

and stuff like that. If it's already made, put it in the car and let's take it home. I don't care how many people have touched it with COVID. Put it in my room. James,

did you have leftover parts at the end of it? That is always a little unsettling. We did. We had a few leftover parts and yeah, I feel like it was somehow more than we started with. But, oh well, it's pretty much easier every time if she just leaves the house, and I get

it done by myself. Oh, you do it by yourself, yeah. I remember my wife, Jean and myself, we came back and we had to assemble a new bed. Now, the bed had a hydraulic system what what what you do like wait something gonna be in the hospital like no no no so so under so you can lift the base of the bed up and you'd have storage under the bed so this height you need to attach so i lowered I'm using Zidon Pimp My Ride. So I lowered my bed, put some tints on it. No, so you need to... Why did you buy a bed for that?

I don't know. I don't know. But let's just say we weren't both sleeping in the bed that night. Oh my goodness, James. Thanks so much for your call, buddy. Thank you. Have a good one. See you, mate.

We've got $5,000 up for grabs in 20 minutes' time. It is the hits. You've got Jono and Ben. Scrolling through your feed. I hand you now over to Bendy Petrie for your latest news update. Bendy Petrie would be a great name for Wendy Petrie if she became a full-time contortionist or something. Bendy Petrie, I like that. So yesterday the Ministry of Health confirmed 56 cases of Omicron, and then they also announced three phases that are going to be rolling out,

potentially based on how many cases of Omicron we have in New Zealand. And it's really a little bit confusing to get your head around the whole thing. Currently we're in phase one, guys. Yeah, so Ben has been looking at this since 5 o'clock this morning, working it out, and I'm sure every other person in Aotearoa will be doing the same thing. Diligently working through it. So we're in red, but phase one of red. Yeah, phase one at the moment, which is all about keeping the cases low for as long as possible.

Contract tracing, isolation. And isolation, if you get a positive case of Omicron, you're at 14 days. And your close contacts, 10 days. And then at some stage, there's a few more cases that we switch to phase two. What happens if I'm isolated and I've got questions? Try to find loopholes?

Jessica Ortova, over to me, over to me. There we go, what's the question there? I love it if you're the Prime Minister and you're like, oh, here we go. As soon as they start asking questions. That's the face, how it works. Oh, here we go.

Okay, what do you want to say? All right. I'm great if Jacinda did that. Here we go. My question is, okay, so I've got it and I'm self-isolating for 14 days. Yeah. If a member of the household gets it, do I start my 14 days again? Well, here we go.

To be honest, I don't entirely know. That's because you haven't thought this through. So anyway, we've moved to phase two at some stage. The isolation period, it drops a little bit if you get COVID, because obviously they're really worried about the workforce and people not being able to get back out there at some stage. So obviously, yeah, so things drop from 14 to 10 days, and they're going to use a lot of these rats, as they're calling it.

The rapid antigen test, which I know a lot of businesses have been purchasing anyway for their staff for a layer of security, foodstuffs do for their staff. But now the government's buying them all. Yeah, they seem to be taking a bit of a monopoly on them at the moment. And even getting critical workers back into the workforce. So if you're non-systematic and maybe you're a close contact, you take one of these rapid antigen tests and then you might be allowed to go back to work.

But then you've got to travel to work by yourself. You've got to wear a mask by yourself. You've got to eat lunch by yourself. Oh, that's's so sad i see you have to live the life of me uh just a lonely a lonely employee who no one wants to talk to uh what if i you know say what if i'm a dj i'm a friend of uh i've got another question i'm a friend of clark i'm sorry i'm gonna wrap this up i've got a festival i need to play it do i get to take a rapid antigen Well, as long as you put me on speakerphone at the chemist, that's fine. Now, it's not as detailed as the stick-up-your-nose test, is it, the rapid antigen? No, but you get a result instantly, right?

Instantly, yeah. And I think then if that rapid antigen test shows positive, then you have to go and get the other normal COVID test to confirm the case. Gotcha. So you can't avoid a rod- other normal COVID test to confirm the case. Gotcha. So you can't avoid a rot up your nose. Yeah. And then at some stage, you know, it looks like we'll probably end up at phase three when cases are in the thousands.

I mean, I hope it doesn't happen, but that's when it happens. And they're going to be announcing more things to do with phase three as we sort of move towards phase three. Cross that bridge when we come to it. Make it up as we go along, much like I was there as well. Yeah, listen, for the last three weeks we're like, it's coming, it's coming, it's coming. It's never come.

It's never come. So... What's that? Look, I'm not Omnicron. It's not like thousands of cases. When's it coming? I'm starting to think Brian Tarmack is onto something here. Oh, geez.

All right. Am I joined? Is he still in there? What's he doing? I think he's out now. Oh, he's out now. I was going to go and join him and join all the team now. Well, you could go along.

Just hang outside if you want. Hang outside the prison. Coming up next on the show, some stuff which will be coming out of our mouths. And those will be words. What words they are, to be confirmed. It is a hit. Mmm, coffee breath. Jono and Ben, the hits.

It is a hit. Jono and Ben 7.34 10 minutes time we've got $5,000 up for grabs with our game 5 words for 5k so give us a call

shortly if you want to play that but then after 8 o'clock we're going to be talking about times that you feel a little bit naughty

hit the music tune Ben Boyce has come to work he said I feel a little bit naughty and he hasn't said what he's done that's a little bit... Have you been catfishing lonely elderly ladies again?

Skimming credit cards at AGM machines? What's it this time, buddy? These are occasions where you feel like you're breaking some sort of law, but you're not. And these are the occasions we want to talk about more after 8 o'clock. But it happened a couple of days ago. I went to the mall and the kids, you know, getting stuff for the kids for back to school and so they wanted me to go you know can i just say which is also a giant pain in the ass getting stuff for kids going back to school yeah i was like i'll do it i'll do it yeah it's all right give me a list i'll go i'll go get

the 1b5s yeah so i got a couple of notebooks there's a couple of notebooks they wanted uh and so i was like sweet so i went into a store called typo i got a couple of notebooks and that was it that moment i was like the lady was like would you like a would you like a bag and i didn't normally i'd carry my little toy story backpack didn't have a backpack i was like no no i don't need to buy a bag you know it's fine i'll just carry them saving the environment yeah and she's like would you like a receipt in my hand it's fine save them but hold your paper i thought i was doing a good thing. Is Chloe Swarbrick around? Is she watching this? Yeah.

So I thought I was doing a really good thing. Then I walked off with my notebooks. And then I was like, oh, I need to get some more stationery. So I went into a Wickels store. And that's when I walked inside and I was like, uh-oh. I've walked inside. A stationery store with stationery. Carrying notebooks.

And there's that thing where you're like, I bought these from another store. I know I have but now I look like I'm sort of walking around with yeah and you do get the guilt don't you

and you feel like it's illegal but you're like I didn't have the receipt and I'm like oh no you know there's two options

you put those down your trousers or the other option is you go up to the counter and you end up paying for the item twice

that's the polite Kiwi thing to do I already paid for these but I know what you're thinking so I'll just pay for the item twice that's the polite Kiwi thing to do I already paid for these but I know what you're thinking so I'll just pay for them twice well that's the thing because I couldn't find the things I was actually

the thing that they wanted from that store at the time and then I was like but I needed to feel like I had bought something from the counter in case I just walked out with these notebooks

that I'd already bought so I ended up buying something else from there just an unnecessary item an unnecessary item and I know that you've been busted in a Whitcalls store before. Oh.

What? I was actually banned from Whitcalls for a number of reasons. Wait, I feel like I remember this story, but I can't quite remember it properly. No, it was a heist. It was a heist, yeah. It was a pubescent pornography heist.

Wait. I was at a time, Juliet, where you would get that content not on the internet. Yes, right. You had to work for it. You had to work hard. And you were younger. I was in my form, Juliet, where you would get that content not on the internet. Yes, right. You know, you had to work for it. You had to work hard. You had to put...

And you were a young guy. I was in my formative years. Okay, yeah. And it was, you know... It was a magazine. It was a magazine. And Pamela Anderson was actually gracing the cover of this particular magazine that year. It was a hyped, much hyped edition.

And all six of us went in. My job was to take the magazine off the shelf. Oh, my gosh. And then put it somewhere where, you know, the store security wouldn't see it. So you had quite a lot to do. What was the other guy still doing? They were like, we'll do diversion. I'm like, what are you diverting?

He's like, you go over there. There's a few basketball magazines over there. I'm doing the heavy lifting on this. Oh, jeez. And so then I did that. I stuck to the plan. And then all of a sudden, there's hands on my shoulder. It's a bloody undercover shopper.

Really? Oh, yeah. So she took me back. I remember like it was yesterday. She took me to this back room. The other's scarpered. No closet. Running diversions.

And she sat me down. She's like, now, listen, what have you got? And then I had to pull the magazine out of my trousers. And she's like, oh. And she's like, listen, what I'm going to do is I'm going to give you time to go home and tell your parents. And then I will call them later on and tell them what's happened and I'm like oh and you know

what the cheeky sod had done she called my bluff I went home confessed to Annie even what the publication was even the publication that lady never called not once not once but she handed me

a stay away from Whitcalls note because I couldn't get my stationery for about six months. That's a great place to get stationery. You really missed out. We've got five words, five grand. Very shortly, it is the hits. Five words for 5K on the hits. You're only five words away from a massive payday.

It's our game of word association. We play it every morning on the hits. We tell you five words. You tell us what pops into your head, and then we play. One of us plays the same game, and if all five match up, you win $5,000. Yeah, every morning we dangle that sweet, juicy cash carrot in front of you, don't you? And Tracy is just one of the rabbits wanting to nibble away on the cash carrot. Welcome from Wellington, Tracy. How are you?

Good, thanks, and yourself? Now, you sound familiar. You work at the Australian High Commission, and we've spoken to you before, and we've said you sound too important for this program. That's right. Yes, you have spoken to me before. Now, have you played this game before, Tracy? Yes, I have.

So the last time I played the game, I had got to three, and then my nerves got the better of me, and I whispered. Oh, the whisper. Yeah, the careless whisperer, and I whispered. Oh, the whisper. Yeah, the careless whisperer, as we like to call it. It happens. It happens a few times.

We understand it happens. That's why we put people on hold. I had to help them out. We've actually got this moment of Tracy's last appearance. Sesame. Treat. Oh, no. Oh, that's what happened last time.

So we know we won't be doing it this time, Tracy. So who do you want to send into the soundproof booth? Can I send Producer Juliet, please? Oh, my goodness. Okay. All right, Juju, you're in the booth. And when she gets inside, we'll tell you the five words this morning and see what you match up with.

What would you put the money towards there, Tracy? Some illegal gambling? Buy some cool stuff in the dark? Where would you be after? Maybe a family holiday or something like that. Oh, that is wonderful. And a great time to go travelling as well. Maybe not now, but in a few months.

Yeah, soon. We'll hope we'll get back to that very shortly. Hey, your first word this morning. Here we go. Five words, $5,000. Is left, L-E-F-T, left. Right. Left, right.

Beautiful, Tracy. Tomato. You say tomato, I say tomato. That is the second word this morning. Sauce. Tomato sauce. That's a beautiful follow-on. It is.

I've matched it so far 100%, I think, in my head. Stone is word number three. S-T-O-N-E, stone. Stone, listen. Rock. Stone, rock. Tracy, I'm matching, baby. Stone, the flaming crows.

That could be another great thing. The flaming crows. Indicator is word number four. Can I come back to that one yeah sure and builders is the final word

today builders oh my gosh that's a hard one builders a lot of options with builders I've got

tradies tradies that's good I had crack builders crack with builders? I've got... Tradies. Tradies? That's good. I had crack. Builders crack. Yeah, I'll admit that's an option. Builders crack, yeah.

And indicator, we're going to go back to that one. Indicator, driving. Driving. Alright, we'll lock that in. Tracy, you did well, mate.

You did well. Be proud. Oh, I shouldn't have played that one. What's that one? No, not that one. Sorry, I shouldn't have played that one. What's that one? No, not that one. Sorry. I'm pushing the...

See, what you don't realise, Tracy, is you've put me in the position of having to push the buttons. And I don't know what I'm doing. I swear every time I come out of the booth, the first thing Johnny says is, Oh, I can't do it. I've just put the buttons off. There's too much for him.

There's too much going on. I've got to talk and I've got to think. There's too much. There's too much talking and thinking and pushing buttons. All right, Julia, here we go. Okay. See if you can match four or five words with Tracy. The first word we sent to Tracy this morning was left.

Left. Right. Oh, well done. That would be right. From one. Now, Tracy, given your previous whispering scandal, would you like me to put you off air? Yes, please.

I've actually just muted my phone. Oh, she's muting her own phone. Oh, yeah. Okay, she's self-muting. Oh, please. I'm actually just muting my phone. Oh, she's muting her own phone. Oh, yeah. She's self-muting. Oh, you're self-muting. Okay. Tomato is word number two. Tomato.

Sauce. Oh, good. Two from two. Stone is word number three. Stone. Rock. Oh! Tracy, come off.

Unmute yourself. Unmute. Tracy. Tracy. This ismute yourself. Unmute Tracy. This is where you got to last time. Yes, Juliet, we only need two more. We only need two more. Yes, okay, let's go. All right, here we go. Indicator is word number four.

Indicator. Car? You were in the ballpark. It was driving. Driving. That was a tough one, though. We had to come back and go that one. Okay.

Tracey, if you're swearing at the moment, keep yourself on mute. And finally, builders was the final word. Builders. Ooh. Construction? Ah, damn. Three out of five, Trace. That's okay.

I'm sorry. I'd love to know what you were saying when we couldn't hear you there. It was really fun doing that. Hopefully we'll get you back on and you can play again, alright? Okay, thank you. Have a good day. See you, mate. Another chance to play tomorrow. Same time, same place it is. That's it. I'll hand you over to the wonderful, youthful, millennial Juliet, or Mildew, as I tried to call her once.

Oh, yeah, what happened to that, lol? Ben thought people might confuse it for an attack on the Jewish community. Right, yeah. But it was Mildew, isn't your name Juliet? We call you Jew. And also Mildew, isn't that some sort of mold? Yeah, what a beautiful name. Give you the 30-second spray.

Yeah. So Elton John has contracted COVID and has to postpone two of his concerts in texas um he is fully vaccinated and boosted his symptoms are mild so that's all good um but he's just delaying those two concerts just for precaution he's not still standing he's lying down comfortably and taking it easy so he should be yeah he started this tour in 2018 and with all of the delays and everything, he won't finish until mid-2023.

That's literally nearly five years or so. Yeah. Because he's coming back to New Zealand, right, to finish off the concerts? Because I was going to go to one of the concerts there. You were going to go to the following night, but he cancelled the night before. He didn't cancel. He stopped halfway through the show. Yeah.

And then he couldn't. And so it's all got tickets. He'll come back, mate. He'll come back. Oh, my goodness. And this was supposed to be like his last. He probably was like, yeah, we'll get this done in a couple of years.

Sweet, I can relax. I can retire five years later. Yeah. Are you still going to be a fan of Elton John by the time he comes back? He's got some great songs. You know what? He's not the cup of tea anymore.

That's the problem when you delay something that long. And a few days ago Arnold Schwarzenegger was involved in a four vehicle car crash. So everyone was pretty much mostly okay. Just a few minor injuries for some people. But one of the drivers of a vehicle after the

crash thought she was hallucinating because Arnold Schwarzenegger stepped out of the car and she thought the crash had caused her mind to go a little bit crazy. Am I in the Terminator? Yeah. Oh my God, yeah. And sees that Arnie walks out and she was already a huge fan of him, so she knew immediately.

She goes, she recognized the face and of course it was. And he walked away, you know, no injuries. She has some small injuries, but she was like, I don't care. That was Arnold Schwarzenegger I bumped into. That's when you want him to bust out a, like, come with me if you want to learn flying or something, you know, from one of the movies. My favourite thing about Arnie is Ben is too frightened

to say his surname. He won't risk it for fear of offending anyone. I know. I don't want to offend anyone. We interviewed him once. We interviewed him once. We literally flew to Sydney we were told

we were going to be five minutes and it got cut down to three minutes I think it ended up being about 45 seconds it was like pretty much he had one or two questions

and you asked him when will my dad be back you know you say I'll be back when will my dad be back and we didn't have enough time to build rapport so that was a joke

he just looked at me like he led with that question he's like I don't know I don't know. I don't know everything about when fathers are going to return. But I hope you patched that relationship up, buddy. All right, get out of here. That was our only time with Arnie.

Lovely. And that is your Spy Update for this hour. For more, you can head to thehits.co.nz. After 8 o'clock on the show, we want to talk a little bit about money and finance going on. We heard about inflation. That's meant to be going up this year. We heard that the cost of living is going up, mortgages, house prices.

I've chucked all my money into Bitcoin. Was that the right thing to do? We'll find out. We've got a financial expert joining us after 8 o'clock. It is The Hits. You've got Jono and Ben. Jono and Ben. Breakfast on The Hits.

Now we want to talk about things that aren't illegal but a little bit naughty, basically, where you feel a little bit naughty. You were talking about this at 7.30, Ben, where you purchased an item, a couple of notebooks from one store, then walked into another station, a competing stationery shop with those books. And you, at the back of your mind, were very concerned that you were going to be accused of shoplifting. Yeah, you felt like you were buying something, that you'd taken something, where you'd actually bought it from another store, but you feel a little bit naughty. He did have a pencil case and a printer down his trousers as he walked out, but apart from that, the books were paid for.

Well, I did something that was a little bit naughty, and this is what we want to open up on 0800 The Hits. Something that's maybe, you know, it's legal, but it's maybe a little bit naughty. So the rubbish bins. Rubbish is always a bone of contention in my life. I'm always talking about dumping rubbish, too much rubbish, and excessive rubbish, rubbish coming out of my mouth.

And over the holiday period, you know, you've got Santa comes to visit there's wrapping, packaging a lot of green bottles in your regard into recycling yeah some Heineken bottles and some more Heineken bottles and so the bin gets very full there's an excess so then by the side of it

there's just a mountain of stuff that I've just chucked sitting on the ground next to the bin and so rubbish day comes, the bins are out there waiting and that unmistakable sound of 15,000 Heineken bottles sitting on the ground next to the bin. And so rubbish day comes, the bins are out there waiting. And that unmistakable sound of 15,000 Heineken bottles pouring into a rubbish truck, I can hear it. And this takes, this manoeuvre, this play, takes perfect timing and patience because it's not every day you're there when the rubbish truck is emptying.

And I thought, wow, I need to grab this opportunity. So the bin was emptied. The truck moves on. I go and grab the bin, pull it back in, load the excess rubbish in, take it to the other side of the road, knowing that he's going to turn around. Oh, so we hadn't done the other side of the road yet. That's a good play. It's a difficult operation.

And like I say, timing has to be perfect. Double dumping. You basically picked up your bin twice. High risk, high reward. It was like Djokovic trying to get into Australia. He knew what was going on. He knew if he got caught, it was red-handed, but he tried it anyway. Speaking of rubbish collection, I learned a great term that someone put on social media over the holiday break.

Bin-fluencer. So you have influencers on Instagram, but if you're a binfluencer, you are the person on the street that puts your bin out first. You lead the charge. Oh, so everyone knows. Oh, it's a double bin day. It's a double bin day.

So someone on the street is always the first person to go. They are the binfluencer. I love it, eh? I love it, but sometimes the binfluencer gets it wrong. Gets it wrong. You're like, it's not a double one this week, mate. Yeah.

Yeah. I love the binfluencer. Okay, so 0800 the hits. When you've been a little bit naughty, you can text 24487. You got any other examples? Well, one that you like to do that I always try and cover up for you. When we're going on a road trip, you go to a service station, use their facilities, and don't buy anything.

A little bit naughty. And then I feel obligated to go in and buy a water or something just because I'm like I'm using the 20s I would rather go in and buy something I'm sort of sweeping

my scandal under the carpet smoke screening I'll get a packet of lollies or something because he's used the toilet without paying for anything

oh very good oh 800 that's the telephone number 4487 when you've been a little bit naughty it's legal but you do it anyway exactly we'll love to have your calls on next morning Very good. 0800 the hits telephone number. 4487. When you've been a little bit naughty. It's legal, but you do it anyway.

Exactly. We'll love to have your calls on next. Morning. This show contains traces of Jono and Ben. The hits with Jono and Ben for breakfast. We want to know things that are legal, but make you feel a little bit naughty. Some beautiful texts rolling through this morning's New Zealand's breakfast on 4487. Someone's texting, taking a New World bag to a Countdown supermarket.

Or vice versa. Oh, yeah. Those don't belong in here. You try and keep them scrunched up, don't you, for the duration of your shop. But listen, I don't think anyone needs to feel bad for the supermarkets at the moment. No, true. Out of any business. True, they're doing okay.

In the landscape. And another text here on 4487, when mum calls and I don't answer the phone. Oh, yeah, a little bit naughty. Ben Boyce, that's a regular occurrence for you when Jenny's phoning through. That's right. Let's go to Amber in Wellington. Welcome. Amber, why are you a little bit naughty? I once heard my boss log into a SkyGo account and decided that I could use it at home.

Oh, so when your boss logs in, he is also talking out his password at a very loud... 4982 Rosemary Street underscore. And you're like, sweet. So you've been getting the sweet, sweet Sky Go for all this time. Yeah. He said his password out loud. So I thought, okay, I'll remember that.

Which bamboozles me for some reason. But anyway. Yeah. And then I just tried his work email and it worked. So this is a lot naughty. But anyway. Just dipping your toes into the fraud pool here. Can he not know that anyone else is on his account?

Apparently not. No, because he's just paying for it. I mean, it's not costing him anymore. Oh, yeah, true. There you go. Yeah, well done, Amber. That is great. It's a little bit naughty.

Kate, you're on from Auckland. Welcome great. It's a little bit naughty. Kate, you're on from Auckland. Welcome. Why are you a little bit naughty? It'll be going through, like, Bunnings, and you've already paid for things, but they've always got, like, a security guard there, and it must be the way I walk or something, but I always feel a bit guilty,

and I try not to make eye contact even if I go to Kmart and see a security guard I always feel the awkward guiltiness. Yeah even though you've legally paid for the item I know what you're saying but I feel like I've stolen this petrol line trimmer I'm walking out with. Yeah I make sure to like walk past them

with the receipt like in hand to be like I did do it I did Thank you Kate appreciate it on four four eight seven another text who is a little bit naughty going to a cafe to meet someone but not buying a coffee we did this the other day hey we did this the other day again i had to buy a like yeah but you don't i didn't i'd probably been there once to get a coffee you're like no i don't want anything but i'm like we can't just have a meeting at a cafe outside if we don't I'd been there once to get a coffee You're like no I don't want anything But I'm like we can't just have a meeting

In a cafe outside If we don't buy anything Yeah but this is the thing Ben's like I'm on my 12th coffee for the day This one's going to give me some serious heart palpitations Oh yeah but I don't want anything I'm fine You go have another one mate

I had to drop him off at the White Cross Medical Centre On the way home Just to calm him down a bit Thank you very much for your calls and texts Appreciate it Next on the show home, just to calm them down a bit. Thank you very much for your calls and texts. Appreciate it. Next on the show, inflation. It's going up.

Cost of living's going up. How is it all affecting us this year? We've got a financial expert joining us very shortly. Stick around for that. It is the hits. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. It's cold water. It is the hits.

Jono and Ben, 8.27. Now, there's been a bit of news the last couple of days about inflation in New Zealand predicted to reach the highest level in 30 years. We know the cost of living is going up as well, and that's about all I know, to be honest. So we wanted to bring on a financial expert to help us through the situation. Please welcome our resident financial advisor. It's Hannah Lightning McQueen. How you doing, Hannah? Hi, Lightning. How are you? She doesn't go by

Lightning McQueen. Have you seen the movie Cars? Yeah, love it. Love it, yeah. I reckon when every time you give out a piece of financial advice you should go, I reckon you should sell your house at the moment. It's a good time to sell. Ka-chow. Have a little catchphrase.

How are you, Hannah? I'm pretty good, thank you. Well, now a lot of talk about finances at the moment, the inflation. Inflation going up to, well, 6% was the news this morning. Now explain it to me because I don't really understand. Well, inflation is pushing up the price of everything. And normally with inflation, it can be one part of the economy that might be impacted by inflation. For example, if oil prices increase, the cost of oil would be higher, your petrol would be higher.

So you're going to suffer inflation in cars, if you owned a car, an old version car. But now this inflation that we're seeing, it's broad brush. So basically everyone in the economy is going to be impacted by these higher costs. And it's based on overseas happenings as well as what's happening in our country. And the long and the short of it is life is going to cost more. And unless you can increase your income by at least five or six percent, which is so easy for me to say that, right, but actually quite hard to do. But unless you can do that, then you are actually starting to go backwards financially. And that's a problem. It kind of if you roll it out to assets, if you own a home, it's good because

your home's going to go up in value. That's what happens with inflation or investments go up in value. But they need to be going up in value more than 5% or 6% just to hold their value in today's dollars. And that creates pressure. And if you're not ready for it, that pressure's going to start to hurt. You've explained that beautifully. I've got a simple solution. Why don't we just deflate then? I don't know, just do something and then turn it backwards, just reverse it. What happens like you do say it's going to cost more for your everyday person to live? Do employers then have to increase the pay? Is there an obligation on that front? Well, this is the

problem and this is the rub, I guess. I think that employees are in quite a strong position because the labour market is so tight. So it's hard to get a replacement worker if you were going to walk. And that does give you grounds to negotiate a little harder than what you might have felt comfortable with previously. Now, one of the reasons why the labour market is so tight is the government isn't really letting anyone in even the ones that we really need to come in and so that's buying employees as i say a little more negotiating but businesses are the ones who are copying this at the moment so while you're in a position to negotiate some businesses are doing it hard and omicron's only going to make it harder for them so they don't necessarily have the money to pay you more, even though the economy suggests

you could negotiate more. So those are, I guess, conflicting pressures. But if there ever was a year to try and increase your income or at least understand from your employer what you could do to justify them wanting to pay you more this would be the year to do it and that's why we get hannah lightning mcqueen on ka-chow that is what hannah mcqueen from enable me if you want any uh any help or advice from hannah where can people go uh mate enable.me request a consultation let's diagnose where you're at and how we can get you jumping ahead ka-chow.

I love it. Hannah McQueen, take care of yourself. We'll talk soon. Thanks, guys. She's awesome. It is 8.31. You got the hits. It's your own Ben.

Welcome to Two Half-Hast Dads to a Half-Hast Job. Official title, Tuno and Ben, New Zealand's Breakfast. Piers Morgan, we heard earlier, wasn't going easy on Adele, was she? Oh, my goodness. He was absolutely mowing into her, calling her a diva. Had a diva outburst of biblical proportions. Yeah. Canceled her Vegas shows at the moment because she's very Terry.

I'm saying a bit to do with COVID and some set delays because of COVID and some of the people got COVID. But there's other reports coming out as well saying maybe it's not about COVID. So who knows? Well, and I didn't realize. I just thought it was a couple of shows. But it's the whole residency. Oh, she's not doing any of it.

She's cancelled the whole thing. But potentially picking it up again at the 2023. So people had flown there from England. The show was the next day. So rough. Some people had spent $30,000 on tickets show was the next day That's so rough Some people had spent $30,000 on tickets Really? That is so rough

So big call Big call isn't it? But hey that's the showbiz baby That is showbiz That's what your voice said That's why we're in it We love showbiz Tell you what I don't like at the moment

Around my house is This smell There's this smell I know you moment around my house is this smell. There is this smell. I know you came to my house on Friday. Did you notice it? No. It's not the usual smell of desperation on my part.

But it's the smell of something. It smells like something's decaying, something's rotting. And, you know, it was alerted. Jen alerted me to it about, you know, four weeks ago. She's like, well, there's a smell. I can smell a smell. I could smell a smell, but I pretended I couldn't smell the smell. Because I know the next thing is like, oh, can you go investigate the smell?

No one wants to investigate a bad smell. No. But it has got to the stage where my neighbours might be thinking, am I storing bodies under the house? Like it's really quite pungent. And so all I'm doing now is kind of just hoping that we ride it out whatever it is we ride it out to the point of decomposition yeah and uh i'm kind of she's like oh have you had a look i was like yeah i'll go and i'll go and have another and i sort of half-heartedly like sort of swoop my hands around the bush nothing i can't find

anything it's a mystery i've even gone to the stage of like, maybe it's the bushes and they've had like a fungus infection or something. Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, which has sort of backed off the investigation for a couple of days. You'd be a terrible detective though, wouldn't you? Yeah. Oh, I don't want to find the dead body. I don't know. It's a mystery.

It's all cold and oh. I'd be one of those detectives who would gag. You know? You'd turn up to a scene and be like, oh. Is he all right? Is he meant to be solving the crime? Yeah, it would be, yeah. Detective gag.

Yeah, well, true. So you haven't sorted it out? No, I haven't sorted it out. I was like, let's call a, I said, let's call a pissed person. She's like, well, you you just find it Which is fair enough Like it's a fair call on her part Is there something You've been delaying

Around the household Well no But a friend of mine Was talking about this The other day They live on a farm You know So it's totally different

To when you live You know in the city And the things they have To deal with Their cat Obviously goes and hunts And stuff And brought something

Into the bedroom In the night And he was half asleep And he was like Oh yeah Something's on the ground and could smell something i was like i'll just throw a sheet over that i'll deal with that in the morning and then in the morning it was like a you know and in the morning it was like waking up to this smell that was what was it it was like a crime scene underneath that what the cat had brought in with an animal you know yeah so it was like

he's maybe throwing a sheet over the top of it wasn't a great idea that's what Detective Gag would do just throw a sheet over the top of it let nature run its course

we'll deal with that later it is a hit so you got Jono and Ben well if you like the news then you're probably not going to like this part of the show because this is Jono and Ben dance around information they know nothing about.

Well, the tennis is going on the Australian Open in Australia, ironically. They did a good job of branding that. Yeah, they did. Where's that happening? Well, it's happening in Australia. But Michael Venus, a New Zealand tennis player, he was in a doubles game the other day and he was up against Nick Kyrgios and he's the Australian guy who's, you know, it can be a bit of a polarizing play. He's quite outspoken, isn't he?

Yeah, he's a great tennis player. But then Michael Venus on the news last night, this was his, because he was during the game, and Nick Kyrgios was obviously winding up the crowd, doing things, you know, that he does. Antagonizing. In Australia, they were loving it, but playing against him, this is what Michael Venus had to say. His maturity level is about, it's probably being generous to a 10-year-old

to say that it's about at that level. His tennis IQ on the court, it is amazing. And he's definitely, on that side of things, one of the best players in the world. At the end of the day, he's just an absolute knob. It's such a Kiwi thing to say. Absolutely. But I saw Nick actually smashed a ball by accident into a little child's face.

And I've always gone through life not trying to smash balls into a child's face. But he gave them a racket, though. He gave them a racket. The kid was crying. He felt bad, obviously. It wasn't on purpose. Yeah, but at the end of the day, he's an absolute Nob. That's what absolute Nobs do.

Boris Johnson, the UK Prime Minister, he's coming under a bit of flack. There seems to be a few parties that were happening in Downing Street where he lives and he resides in. They had like a Christmas party for the staff. And then there's another party that's come out that they've kept hidden. This was during lockdown, when the whole UK was in lockdown. And now they're all coming out. This was a surprise party. Now they're saying it was basically he was ambushed with a cake.

He knew nothing about the party and they just surprised him with a cake. So he had nothing to do with it. This would be a surprise cake birthday party is your worst nightmare. Totally. A, surprises, because you haven't prepared for it. Yeah. And B, cake, your least favorite food on the food pyramid. Exactly.

So, yeah. Did you see that thing? There was a shot of Boris celebrating at a birthday. And then side by side there was a shot of the Queen sitting alone at Prince Philip's funeral with a mask on. And that was the following day after his birthday. Really? And they're like, this sweet elderly lady could stick to the government's rules. But not even the government could.

Oh, that is so sad. I can see why they're getting wowed up. Quickly, before we go, you may have seen this in the news yesterday. Destiny Church leader Brian Tumaki has left Auckland's Mount Eden Corrections facility after winning his appeal and being remanded in custody. Notice the eyebrows looking a little worse for you after a couple of weeks in the locker. They don't have microblading in prison. You've probably got other blades that they canank you with, but not microblades.

What I did appreciate, the quick turnaround of the free Tarmaki T-shirts. The printing on that was... It must have been a mall job. One of those ones you get one hour in the mall. Yeah, can we get 100 free Tarmaki T-shirts? Oh yeah, but there's a lot of them too. Yeah, that's some good printing. That's some quick printing too, because you want the T-shirt early in the piece to get your message out.

That's impressive. Would you make a free Jono T-shirt if I was ever in that situation? I'd maybe keep them in there a bit longer. Lock them up longer or anything. And that is Scrolling Tear Feed. It is the Hits. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the Hits. For more podcasts from the Hits Network, check out iHeartRadio.co.nz.