Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: Jono Held Up The Whole Car Park...

Episode Date: September 22, 2022

Today on the Jono and Ben podcast, Jomo recalls the time he held up the whole car park... What were you late to the party with? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome to a bonus podcast from Jono and Ben on The Hits. G'day, welcome, kia ora. It's Jono and Ben, the podcast 22nd of September today. And it's lovely to be joined by my friend Ben Boyce in a green Bushman's shirt today. He's really clutching his stuff for the portrait. What would you do in the bush? How would you survive in the bush? One night, you've got one night only. Oh, jeez. What are you doing? What skills do you have that could bring you through to the morning?

Well, look, to be honest. Puns aren't going to help you in the bush. No, they're not. They're not. Bird in the hand, two in the bush. A little beer with a sore head. Not going to work out there. The only skill I'd have, a couple of times we've done these things where you've stayed awake through the night for radio.

So maybe that would be my tip. Because I don't think I'd sleep if I was in the bush. There would be too much noise going on twitching insects you know all sorts rustling every rustle in the middle of the night you'd be like yeah so i think staying awake that would be my only thing i wouldn't sleep yeah fire you need to learn to start a fire oh yeah that'd be key yeah drinking your urine that's the big one that's probably the first thing i'd do six o'clock oh doesn't look like i'm going home all right better at what stage are you doing that Drinking your urine, that's a big one. That's probably the first thing I'd do. First thing, yeah. Six o'clock, I'll just look home, going,

hey, I'm all right. At what stage are you doing that? I'll probably try and go to a stream before that, but even still, I'd be a bit like that. Well, you've got E. coli and things like that, don't you, in streams? Well, that's true. That's another, yeah. I would be no good.

I would be no good. Well, I would provide you with refreshments. Thank you. Just seeing you there. Thank you. But here's five basic survival Well, I would provide you with refreshments. Thank you. Just seeing you there. Thank you. But here's five basic survival skills in case you were wondering.

Okay. Number one, start a fire. Okay. Number two, make shelter. That makes sense. Yeah. Okay. Number three, signaling.

So you can signal people as to where you are in the bush. Oh, right. So if you didn't have a cell phone, you could make one of those smoke signals or again. Yeah. Basic skill four, food and water.

Like I said, I've got the refreshments supplied. Food, I can't do any more for you there. No. And then first aid is the other survival skill. I have none of those skills. I did a first aid course in CPR. I've forgotten. Yeah, that's the thing

I did that as well And it's really good to do But you just You forget You do forget Your mind's elsewhere Well I try to concentrate But it's hard to retain

All of that information Yeah You know I just hope I'm never in a position In a crowded restaurant or anything Where I'm having to give the CPR Yeah well that I'm like

Surely there's someone better Yeah If you're like Excuse me sir Can you do Am I the only option in this I did a course a while ago. I can vaguely.

Dirty breath, two pumps sort of thing. Yeah. It's a staying alive. Yeah. Stay alive. Stay alive. Do it to that song. I don't know what you do to that song, but I'll just start singing the Bee Gees.

That was the ABCs or something, wasn't it? Wasn't the airways, breathing, circulation. Oh, can I get there? Can I get there? I probably can't. The ABCs. Let's have a look. The A.

I'll see what they are. So I'm pretty sure it was to the airways, the breathing, circulation. There was something about making sure nothing was checking for. I think they added an extra one at the top. It was to make sure everything was... Your surroundings were fine. What did you say? Airways? Yeah.

Breathing? Yeah. Circulation? Yeah, that's the ABCs. Oh, is that it? But wasn't there more? Wasn't there more to the ABCs? Why would they add more to the ABCs?

I don't know. I thought they did it, of course. Well, if they did, I didn't remember it. Yeah. No, you did it. You've remembered it. Have you ever had to save someone's life? No.

What's the closest you've come to saving a life? Oh oh i don't have anything off the top of my head i tried to i saw a lady get run over by a bus oh that's really yeah really i turned up to work covered in blood yeah poor lady she was from tahiti and so she was crossing the road and they drive on the other side of the road in tahiti she looked the wrong way boom bus oh my god i was just sitting in uh standstill traffic saw it happen oh my god it was surreal yeah and you kind of you get out of your car like oh my god what's happening and so i put my jacket over her yeah because she wasn't well and uh there was a doctor who was coincidentally in traffic as well she came over and she's like no sadly she's because she was bleeding out of her ears.

Yeah. But yeah, you try and help, don't you? Yeah, well, you do. Yeah, you try and put yourself into that situation. But yeah, no. Then I turned up to work and everyone's like, dear God, what's going on? What's going on? Yeah. So then they made me go home and have a shower.

Yeah. I was like, I'm ready for TV stuff, guys. Yeah. They're like, no, you're not. Probably not. Yeah. And geez. Yeah.

Yeah. But yeah, that's. No, no. I've never been like that no situation not in that situation as such now i remember like going rafting with my friends i was talking to my daughter my daughter the other day said what's like abby what's closest you've got to you felt like you were gonna die and it was like we used to live on the farm in the wider upper and used to get these big sort of tractor inflatable inflatable tires that go inside the tractor and you'd ride those down the river.

I was like, oh, this is fun. And it had been raining a lot and that was where we made the mistake. Was it a torrent? The river was like, oh, it'd be great. Yeah, and it was great for a wee bit. Rapids. It was like, great. And then we got into this little area and just kind of we flipped,

me and my two mates, and then we just kept getting like dragged under and spat out. And then one of my friends, I remember he got sucked under the water and we were like, oh he's gone, he's gone, we're never going to see him again. Apparently he ended up 20 metres down the river and me and my other mate were just clinging on to this thing going, oh, I thought we were actually

gone and then we got spat out about 20 seconds later. So you're underwater, getting floated, are you like this is it? Jumping back on we go try and grab back onto the thing and then we get taken back down

we're like who are we gonna you know having these conversations with your mate

you know go who are we gonna what is it oh drowning would be the

worst terrifying it was terrifying and then we're like where's our mate and we end up

going back down we got to a quiet part got up onto the shore and our mate was there as well we're like jeez let's just walk back those are those ones where you just sit in silence yeah back down we got to a quiet part got up onto the onto the shore and you know mate was there as well

we're like oh let's just walk back hey those are those ones where you just sit in silence yeah go wow wow yeah i was like yeah really really quite quite a full-on experience so yeah so there you go well way to bring the vibes down john or ben uh enjoy the podcast fun show despite the despite the intro despite the dark intro very fun show. It was. You go and have a great day. Enjoy the podcast. We love you. Bye. If you're here for advice on life, you're in big trouble.

Jono and Ben on the hits. I got talking to a lady yesterday and she told me about her father. And the fact that her father only got an EFTPOS card for the first time last week. He just has been dealing for his entire life. European, come over here. That's great. I can't believe that. Just dealing in cash.

Everyone gets funny when you hear stories about people just dealing in cash, don't they? Everyone assumes the worst. Mainly the Inland Revenue Department assume the worst, that you haven't been paying tax. But his wife has a bank account. He was just brought up with, mate, dealing in cash. And she's like, it's wild.

Like they moved house and they were lifting pot plants up and there was a tin of cash under a pot plant. Well, there was a sack of cash hidden under some drawers. There was cash in a bookshelf there was cash under the bed just cash everywhere well friends of ours

actually had it when his grandparents passed away they found a safe downstairs in the garage a little safe opened it up it was $90,000

in a safe under the house they'd been sitting there the whole time because they were like same probably generation just going I don't know

I don't trust these banks yeah they're a bit suspicious of the modern banking system yeah once you can understand why but then also there's a lot of risk of just having cash

sprawled all over the place like Scrooge McDuck what are you looking at mate what's on your phone you're getting a text what's happening read it out no it's alright

we keep no secrets on this show yeah is it alright yeah well someone's saying their friend and their mum has no internet, so got very late. We're talking about late to the party. Oh, someone's just texted in?

Yeah. What, text your phone? Text my phone. Tell them to text 4487. Well, if they know they've got my number, they can text my number, though, right? Because that's what we want to do right now. Late to the party. What are you late to the party on?

Yeah, you can text Ben if you've got his number. Yeah. Should I give that out? Well, maybe not. I'd prefer probably not to Probably on the dark web somewhere Or 4487 To the wider population as well What are you late to the party on?

This man has just been given an EFOS card He's not a fan of it And like he doesn't want to deposit all of his money Into the bank or anything So he still wants to run cash His daughter was just like, mate, come on. You need to get with the times. I feel like my parents, and probably your parents as well,

were very late to the party on sunblock. That was one as well. You know, it was a thing when we were kids, but not so much of a thing to go, hey, every time you go out in the sun. The 29 moles I've had cut out of my head would probably suggest that. Yeah. Late to the party as well, I'd say TikTok. You know, you were late to the party on that.

I was in there early. You were too early to the party. You were at the party when just all the 12-year-old kids were there dancing to Benny. It was a weird time to be at the party, Ben. Get out of the party. You turned up at the children's party. So I left the party and then a couple of hours later

you turned up at my house and you're like, mate, we're going to a party. I was like, what party? You're like, the one you're at. I'm like, but I was there already. You're like, yeah, no, now it's fine for us to be there. We should be there. Now the kids have gone home. Yeah, exactly.

Everyone's there. Now just all the mullets and burnouts are at the party. So I went over to the heads. What are you late to the party on? And it can be anything. It could be a trend. It could be technology. Maybe you've never had a phone like Ben's friend who just texted.

Never had the internet. Yeah, I'd love to hear from you this morning on 0800 The Hits or 4487 is our text number. Or you can text me. It is The Hits. Jono and Ben. If they were the internet, you'd want to clear this history. Jono and Ben on The Hits. We're talking about what you were late

to the party on. For many years you weren't into and then suddenly you're like, oh hey, I need to get onto this. Some great tips

coming through on 4487. I only just started watching Game of Thrones season one. Right, yeah. Producer Joel has only just started watching Flight of the

Concord season one. Haven't you? Yeah, 15 years late to the party but it was well worth it. Well worth the wait. It still stacks up not in a way

because they're not edgy as such but it's still it's still as funny as it was there's a few things that they wouldn't say now but it's still great it's great oh mate there's all stuff we wouldn't say now we've all got that stuff yeah sometimes we still say it now yeah 10 minutes ago from you four four eight seven uh another text grade here i was late to the party on crypto i saw this thing growing and growing and people bragging about getting rich so I jumped into the pool and it died in the arse. So they've lost

a lot of money on crypto. There's a guy in Nelson, doesn't use a car, travels around on a horse and cart. Late to the car party. Yeah. Very late to the car party. When did Henry Ford invent the first car? A long time ago, yeah. So 800 hits, what are you late to the party on?

Michelle, how are you? Good, thank you. How are you guys? Yeah, doing well, thanks. You're late to the party on something. What are you late to the party on? Scanning in for the QR codes for COVID. Scanning in.

That party's finished, baby. Yeah, the party's over now. What a party it was, too. I was a big scanner for a long time and then I'm like oh yeah, no one's done this anymore. Now they've stopped. He would scan in at the front door of work every time. Do you know where you are Monday to Friday?

What a nerd. Anyway, it's finished now so you never did it once even through peak COVID times? No, I never did. The only reason why I didn't do that was because I pretty much knew where I was going and they were watching your EFTPOS transactions anyway. So for the people that didn't scan in, they would still call you up

because I got called up a few times. Really? Even though I hadn't got scanned in because they follow the transactions from the EFTPOS receipts. You know, everything is digital. So I was like, well, there's one less thing that they need to follow me on. So why do we have to all scan in? Why couldn't they have just traced our e-posts?

It's probably a little easier for us to scan and then them to go through every one of your receipts. What's your password? Oh, yeah, my John O'Brien. Oh, he's gone there. He got gas there. He got a coffee there. Oh, he went back to the booze shop.

Okay. He was already there just two hours earlier. Maybe he left his wallet behind. I don't know. Oh, and he went back to the booze shop. Okay. He was already there just two hours earlier. Maybe he left his wallet behind. I don't know. Yeah. Oh, so that's good. And so would people look at you weird when you wouldn't scan in? I would pretend that I would actually literally hold my phone up to the scanner and they were

like, yep. And I was like, yep, so it is. And I wasn't the only one that was doing it either. Were you making the noise with your mouth? Boop, boop. Just put my camera on and just like, you know, it was just really weird.

You just hold your phone up and no one ever queried you about it. People there, they were like, oh no, not doing it. You looked like you did the right thing,

didn't you? If you're going to that effort though, you might as well just hold the scanner up. Oh, it wasn't worth the scowls

or them going, you have to sign in. One of my favourite stories to that whole thing, I think it was an Australian radio announcer talked about her mum, and she didn't realise there was an app for it, and she was just taking photos of the QR codes everywhere, and she's like, what do I do

with all these photos? She had a whole photo stream of like 50, 60 photos clogged up. Who do I send these to? Oh, that's Michelle, good on you. Never scanned once, that's a great record too. I mean, even I was pretty lax on a lot of that COVID stuff, but even I scanned it a few times. Oh, I can't help it.

I was doing everything else right. Yeah, it was just another thing that I didn't want to do. It was a wild time. We all look back at it. John wore gloves for a bit. I scanned everywhere. I go to work in surgical gloves. We just started a new job.

People are like, is he like Michael Jackson? Yeah, it was a wild time. We all did things that we look back on and regret. I was talking to someone yesterday, Margaret. They run a business. They had to get rid of everyone who wasn't vaccinated. And now they're phoning them back up and going, hey, sorry about that, but we'd love you back.

And it turns out even if you were vaccinated, it didn't stop you from getting it. No, no, it didn't. Oh, well, I love to talk to you. Thanks for sharing that with us this morning. Awesome, thank you. See you, mate. In the next 10 minutes,

I'll tell you how you could be losing a day of work each week next year. It is the hits. You've got Jono and Ben. New Zealand's most successful unsuccessful show. Jono and Ben on the hits. I just want your calls and texts this morning if possible. If you want to join us, sorry I said that in quite a threatening tone, didn't I? If you feel like calling or texting, things have shut down.

Because yesterday, Ben, we park in a car park and it's multi-leveled. There's a lot of cars in there, probably hundreds, I would say, at any one time. And when you go up to the barrier arm, when you exit, we just put our card in, the arm opens, textbook exit. That's what usually is meant to happen. Yesterday I'm getting up there saying, don't recognise the card. And there's no more stressful moment in a car park career is there when the barrier arm is an opening because then you can feel the pile up behind you you do you you're right so as someone cars behind you you're like oh i am holding them up and it's not a very

long amount of time but you just feel the pressure of holding them up yeah and no one ever wants to be held up when they're exiting a car park for some reason. You're like, I'm on a mission to get out of whatever this is. I need to get out of there. Even when there's two of them sometimes, you know how sometimes it splits off into two lanes, and then I'll go behind this person, and then I'll be like, oh, they're taking longer than the other one.

You get frustrated for some reason. You try and reverse back and go into the other. You're like, just patience. Just calm down. Yeah. It's the same theory of leaving the plane. Leaving the plane and people end up hunched over under the over... Gotta stand up, gotta get out. Yeah. Yeah. But this thing was

not working and then I pushed the panic button, you know. And oh, hi, sorry, I'm just saying... I can't understand what they're saying. And then I'm at the point where, okay, now there's six's probably six to eight cars behind me. I even saw car number three did the international arms up symbol. What's going on here?

What's the hold up? So did you get out of your car? I had to get out of the car. You just like a little wave to everyone? Sorry, guys. The good thing about traffic is when it's all moving forward in the same direction, it goes beautifully, doesn't it? We all know what we're doing, where we're going.

But when you want traffic to go backwards, it is a nightmare. So then I had to get everyone to reverse back and then go through the other arm. And just the looks of inconvenience that I'd put on people. So you shut down. You shut down momentarily a car park. Yeah. That's impressive, but also very humiliating. It was probably three or four minutes.

It felt like three or four hours. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So, oh, Andrew, that's 4487. What have you managed to accidentally shut down? Oh, good text here from a J.R. Dern claiming she shut down an entire country for a couple of years. So that's...

Here we go. So is that one from her or was that from some other right wing leading political people? Oh, I'm sorry. That's from an M. Hoskin. Actually, it's just texted in 4487. So, I mean, we've set the bar pretty high

shutting down a country. Yeah, thank you. All right. I'll add to that. 4487. John, I'll be in with you on487. Jono and Ben with you on your Thursday morning. Two semi-competent dads

handing out semi-competent parenting advice. Jono and Ben on the hits. Hey, now we've been in the South Island Monday, Tuesday,

we're in Umbercargill in Queenstown and you guys witnessed a moment that I get many, many times and I thought, and even confused,

even though it happens quite often, I thought for an instant it was a great moment for me where the guy when we came into Joe's garage in Queenstown and he looked at me and he's like oh my god Ben Boyce and he looked at me and I was like and I sort of you know looked around I'm like oh this is this little moment here you go you know he's looked at you he's looked at producer B Humpson he's gone oh, oh my god Ben Boyce. He singled you out. Big smile loud voice. As if you've played a pivotal role in shaping him

as a human. Yes, and I was like, oh wow, this is great this is a great moment for me, I'm like, yep here I am, here I am, Ben Boyce Lay it on me. And then he shook my hand and he goes your dad used to teach me Kevin Boyce, what a legend And he came down to the cafe just to tell you that. And I've

spent a lot of time with you, and that is the most common thing that people say to you. Your dad, Kevin Boyce, is taught all over New Zealand, school principal, and the amount of people that come up to you and go, your dad. They do start with Ben Boyce, and they give you some sort of false sense of, oh, this is going to be a great moment for me.

But it's not. It puts things into perspective where my career is compared to his it's like well he's achieved so much more i was out for dinner the other night my wife and i anniversary dinner i went to a place and the guy who was serving there was like oh yeah ben boys i was like here we go discount what do you want a selfie for the wall and then celeb wall? And he was like, your dad, Kevin Boyce, was my school principal. Jesus. Same conversation, cut and paste, same conversation again. And then he brought back, oysters, oysters.

This Kevin Boyce's son, mate, this is for you. Thank you, Kevin. So I had to text dad to go, hey, thanks, you got me a hookup. I don't get any hookups. Kevin Boyce's, a whole bowl of them. A whole bowl of Kevin Boysters. Trading off your dad's success and hard work over the years. I know.

My career shows a lot where our career's at. Is there not a school he hasn't taught at? Honestly, the amount of people. It's not an exaggeration. People that know him. It's just all around the place. Oh, 800 of the hits. Okay, let's roll this.

Have you been taught by Ben's dad, Kevin Boyce? Let's chuck it out there. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Have you caused the shutdown? That's what we're after this morning on New Zealand's Breakfast. Koos is joining us. You caused the shutdown, mate? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's true. That was a few years ago, and this was not in New Zealand. This was when I was still doing excessive traveling in South Africa. And this particular day, I got home after a very late flight, got to my parked car, paid for my parking ticket, and the machine wouldn't take it. So I pressed the button and got somebody to come up. As I was standing there, a gentleman came up with his security suit, grabbed the ticket and left down the stairs.

And I'm standing there. This is about 9 o'clock at night. We're at about 10, 15 minutes. And another gentleman came up and he said to me, are you the guy with the problem with the ticket? And I said, yes. And he said, where's the ticket? And I said, mate, I don't know.

Somebody else just took it. So it's gone. And he said to me, oh, okay. you have to now come down to the bottom floor. We have to go through security. I said, mate, mate, mate, hang on, hang on, stop here. I said, I've just returned from a very long flight. I want to go home. Flew in on Monday. It's now Friday night. Just tell me how much I owe you. I will pay, and we will leave.

And he said to me, oh, okay, you have to come down. So I got into my car, drove down, stopped right in front of the barrier. And this gentleman is leaning there on the barrier itself. And he says to me, have you found the ticket? I said, Matt, I told you upstairs, I don't have the ticket. One of you guys has got the ticket. Now, this exchange went on for a few minutes. And I was getting more and more agitated.

And I sat there and I said to him, okay, I'll make it now. I've offered to pay for it. I've been here now for 45 minutes. So you have five minutes to either open this barrier or I'm going through the barrier. And he was just standing there ignoring me. And I said, do you have four minutes left, three minutes left? And it got to zero. I got out of my car.

What I was just trying to do was to bend the barrier, but I must have been a little bit worked up because I ripped the whole barrier out. Oh, you ripped the barrier off. And as I took off, all hell broke loose because I just started driving. As I went through, all the gates closed. The sirens went off. Now, that's a parking area that has about, I think, seven floors. Got surrounded by security. But by that time, I got out of a car and I was ready to start swinging. Fortunately, the police was there and the policeman came up and said, what's going on?

I said, explain to them the situation. And the guy said, mate, you can't keep this guy here. He's offered to pay. Long story short, I had to end up paying for the barrier that I ripped off. Two and a half hours later, I eventually got home. What a machine. Like the Hulk ripping off the barrier arm of the parking.

It wasn't my most shiniest moment, but it was the day I brought Jan Smuts to an absolute standstill on a Friday night, 10 o'clock. Oh, that is brilliant. Thank you, Chris. Really appreciate your story, mate. You too, mate. Thank you.

Thanks for a great show. Let's go to our old mate Bev on New Zealand's Breakfast. Oh, hey, hey. How are you going? Getting pissed off with everything at the moment. Let's see. My intercom doesn't work. My dustbuster, the motor blow on me.

I only had that two weeks. Yeah, I've had it. I've had it. I'm over. You've had it up to here. And you can't even see what I'm doing, but I'm putting my hand over my head right now. It's good. Not enough people give you an honest answer when you go, how you going?

How you been? No, you're right. Then we just gloss over it. We're like, oh, good, thanks. We're talking about what you've shut down this morning. And we know you've shut down a few scams, many scams. And one just this week. Just the Spark one,

trying to claim they were about my internet, so why would I need internet when I've got a cell phone? You're a scammer and hung up. Have you got the whistle handy? The scamming whistle? Yeah, and hopefully that doesn't get my neighbours' attention,

but anyway, yeah. And I've used it on people. How many scammers have you used this whistle on, the scamming whistle? I haven't counted. I lost track. Honestly, the number of dickheads that have rung me, what happens is these scammers,

they do something called caller ID spoofing. They're spoofing? Yes. They use the actual legit New Zealand numbers to contact people. They do something called caller ID spoofing. They're spoofing? Yes. They use the actual New Zealand numbers to contact people. Jeez, you've gone deep into the scamming hole. You have really exposed their operation. And then so when people phone you up and they're like,

hi, you've got a package to pick up. I just need your credit card number. You do the whistle. And how does that go? Yes. Take us out with the whistle. That's all John has been angling for. There you go.

One more whistle. Angling for the whistle. Thank you. You have a great day. He's our human newspaper. Not just because he weighs the same as one, he's also got some information from the news. Ben. Yes, Taika Waititi, the same as one, he's also got some information from the news. Ben. Yes, Taika Waititi,

great New Zealand actor, director. So he's with Rita Ora, pop star as well. Much publicised relationship here in New Zealand. It feels like the whole country's very invested in this relationship, right? Rita Ora, Ora Ora, the explorer. We always love a jingle for someone, and that's our new one for Rita.

Yeah, so apparently she's made an omission on a podcast, ending months of speculation whether they're married or not. But they basically said, all the news articles say she's confirmed they're married. But then when you look at the quotes, I'm like, has she? Has she? She said, I'm in love. I'm very much in love. Taika's very funny.

He's lovely. He's made me happy. I love Taika. I love my parents' relationship for 30 years. But I'm looking through. I'm very much in love. Taika's very funny. He's lovely. He's made me happy. I love Taika. I loved my parents' relationship for 30 years. But I'm looking through all the transcripts. There's no way she said, hey, it was a wonderful ceremony. How many transcripts have you read?

Well, I've gone deep. I've gone deep. Yeah. Word for word. Everything. Not one mention of marriage, marrying nuptials. She said, I was one of the fairy tale. I grew up loving it.

But anyway, so according to a lot of media outlets, she's confirmed that they are married, so maybe I missed something along the transcripts as well. Well, Rita's coming to the Women's Rugby World Cup to perform. A couple of weeks' time she's going to be here. Well, we can ask her in person if you can get within 100 metres. And there's a lot of drama right now in the chess world, and there's a lot of drama going on. So the chess world champion, Magnus Carlsen, he pulled out of a tournament yesterday for the first time in his career.

Now, he resigned after one move. One move that was online. Chess, big battle against his rival, Hans Niemann. And one move. The guy just made one move. He's like, nah, can't beat it. I'm out. Everyone's like, well, this is wild.

So, yeah. And then these two have been having a bit of a battle going on back and forth recently. Well, he thought his move was unbeatable. He was going to win. The first move. And everyone was like, whoa. He's just like, yeah. No, he was the other person did it.

The Hans did a move on him. And he's like, I'm out. I can't beat it. It was like. After one move. Yeah. So, anyway. Well, I suppose.

Maybe. If you knew the game so well, you'd just know all the possibilities of the maneuvers coming up he's like oh there's no point yeah you know sometimes we start talking at six o'clock and we're like oh that was a dud no point continuing on but these two are beef now they're two of the best chess players in the world right now and earlier um earlier this month carlson hinted that hans may have cheated in the game now there was a theory during the rounds. I don't know how this is kind of NSFW, not safe for work. But one of the theories was that maybe

they had sort of like a toy inserted that would vibrate. And so if particular moves could be, oh, better not do that move. And this was the theory that was during the rounds that someone was controlling the vibration of the toy. Inside of him. him yeah which is I think it was

meant to be a comical rumor Elon Musk got involved with it somehow and spreading this rumor that is commitment

to chess so I don't think that was actually the case but that's the wild rumor you know pre-game when you're in your dressing room and

you're like okay time now and you're doing that you're like how are you going to let me know again well so I'll be standing off to the side and if you're in your dressing room and you're like, okay, time now. Yeah. And you're doing that. You're like, how are you going to let me know again? Well, so I'll be standing off to the side and if you're doing anything wrong, I'll just buzz the thing. And you'll know. You'll know.

And that's what. I've never seen him look so happy playing chess. And that's what's going on. You're euphoric. Making use of the spotting. Baldly going where no show has gone before. How long is it going to take for Ben to make fun of my bald head? Jono and Ben on the hits.

It's a guessing game. Jono's internet wormhole. No, it's not. It's the internet wormhole. Which one of your many, many segments do you want to do right now, mate? So many of them. Pull them out of the arsenal. So many memorable segments.

So many. They all blend into one. But no, it's the internet wormhole where I do get lost on the internet. That's one I don't have to guess about, you know. Yes. The pressure's on me here, but I found this quite interesting. It was a list on a website, which is ideal for this, called thegreatestlists.com or something. The internet's got everything covered.

Yeah, they have. Nothing, they're not, you know, there's no stone left unturned on the internet. But this was the happiest countries on earth. The happiest, top five happiest countries on earth. New Zealand, we're not top five. We're number nine. But I'm just reading.

At what stage was this done? Well, this is the thing. Because you were caught into question the other day about one of your lists about calling Antarctica a country It was a continent So now we question everything, but what stage was this done? Because we haven't been a happy

country as... Well this is said there's a correlation between happiness and outdoor spaces which New Zealand has an abundance of. Yeah well great And also thanks to the phenomenal leadership and response of the Honourable Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern to COVID-19. Who's writing this?

It has contributed to the imminent happiness of this country. This sounds like propaganda. I don't know how long ago. Clearly they haven't been following the ram raids, the gang shootings and the fact we're a year behind the rest of the world with our COVID response. No, for a while there we were in that sweet spot going, New Zealand look at us, look at us,

we're having concerts and all that sort of stuff. And then, now the rest of the world who had battled for a wee bit are like, well, we're through that. We're through the other side of that now. Top five are interesting.

All from Europe. All from Europe. The happiest countries on Earth. Very experimental and they love taking a risk with their lovemaking, the Europeans, don't they? Yeah, well, that's the fact. They they really do they push boundaries um but britain not even britain leaving the eu made any of these countries upset right they're still happy number one the happiest country on

earth or should i go five to one hey that's how they do that yeah that's normally how those things work yeah number five the netherlands oh yeah the netherlands you've been there amsterdam told me all about all the stuff you got up to there. NSF dubs. Yeah, well, it is a wild place, that's for sure. I can see why they're happy. There's a few coffee shops that you're happy in. Yeah, there's a lot of stuff making them happy in the Netherlands.

Switzerland is at number four. Oh, yeah. Great chocolate. Yeah. Great place to hide your money in a tax haven. Yeah, well, true, no tax. You're right. That would make me happy. Yeah, yeah. No tax. Yeah. Great place to hide your money in a tax haven. Yeah, well, true, no tax. You're right. That would make me happy.

Yeah, yeah. No tax. Denmark. Now, Denmark was the happiest country 2012, 2013, 2016. Despite that, though, they're still pretty happy about it. They're at number three. They're not even angry, the Denmark people, the Danish. Yeah, the Danes.

Iceland at number two. Aurora Lights. Is that the Aurora Lights? Yeah, well, it's very cold over there, but it's good that they're still happy. It's kind of cold around there. And number one, coming first across the Finnish line,

the Finnish. Finland. Oh, the Finnish. Yeah, it's the Finnish. Four consecutive years in a row They've been at number one Why are they so happy Did they say why

It's not a surprise This country's consistent People Great They've got great Everything's good Good confidence Good confidence

They said And they all They've apparently all got Each other's backs They look out for each other That's nice Unlike New Zealand We'll build you up Then we'll chop you down.

The Hits. Let's go. Jono and Ben with five words for 5K. Stop any time to keep the cash. Thank you. Or play on to win more. It's a game of word association. We play it every morning on The Hits.

And it's been a while since we've had a $5,000 winner. We've got very, very close. And we've got a very very big announcement to make after this game. Oh we do. Oh we do. Welcome. Thank you. How are you mate? Super close yesterday eh? What's that?

It got super close yesterday. I know. Twice this week we've had people get to the $500 word and then make the leap up to the $5,000 and they get slapped in the face 5,000 times. Yeah, yeah. Hopefully it's me today, eh? Ange, you're a midwife, are you?

Yep, that's the one. How's the midwifery going? Ooh, it's a wee bit rough right now. You know, with the mandates, we're short-staffed. Well, that's the thing. Can't the unvaccinated come back now? Yeah. Hopefully everything will settle down soon.

It's a quick process to get all that here. Yeah. Maybe it should be. Yeah, I know a lot of the firefighters, they lost a lot of people as well. Police too, a lot of people. Anyway, I've just brought the vibes down with that, and I'm sorry, Ange.

That's all right. We can bring it back up, hey? Let's do it. Let's ramp it back up. Who are you going to send into the soundproof booth? John, I would think. All right. Ben, put a mirror in there, actually, so I can have a good, long, hard look at myself.

All right. All right, Ange. Here we go. He is in there now. Now, the first word this morning, what pops into your head when I say yogi? Yogi beer. Yogi beer. morning, what pops into your head when I say yogi? Yogi, beer. Yogi, beer. That's what I was thinking. Bacon. Bacon is word number

two, bacon. Eggs. Eggs with an S. Hemsworth. Hemsworth. Ooh. Can we come back to that one? Yeah, sure. Glow. G-L-O-W. Glow. Worm.

Glowworm. Apprentice is the final word. Apprentice. Oh, that's a toughie. Yeah. Seem to get tougher towards the end. Apprentice. Yeah, yeah.

Builder. Builder. And we'll go back to Hemsworth. You can pick your favorite Hemsworth brother, or what are you going to do here? Oh, I don't know. I'm thinking Thor, I'm thinking Chris, but I don't know.

But I mean, there's Liam Hemsworth, there's the other brother who's, jeez, I should know his name just because I feel bad I've left him out. Other than that, I can't think of anything else for Hemsworth, but it's over to you. Yeah, let's go with Liam. I'll go with Liam. Okay.

Yeah. I would have gone with Chris, all right. Are you going to lock it in? Oh, I'm going to change my mind. I'll go with Chris. Oh, now you're going with Chris. But now I'm, anyway. Okay, Chris, we'll lock it in.

All right, let's get Jono out there now. He can come back around. Well, well, well, well. Well, well, well. What. Well, well, well. What do we have here, Ben? Yeah, well, there's a few tricky ones this morning for Ange. Yeah, there was. Yeah, there was.

Hey, when you're doing midwifery, do you ever, like, get weirded out by all the stuff you have to pull out? No, nothing fazes us. No, nothing would. Nothing. There would be nothing your eyeballs could witness that wouldn't rattle you, I can imagine. Some pretty good work stories. I hope you do.

All right, here we go. Let's try and get you another good work story for us and give you some money. Here we go, $25. Word one, $25. Yogi. Beer. Yeah, well done. Here we go.

We're on a roll. Do we go to $50? Yeah, for sure. Go. Word two, $50. Bacon. Bacon? Yeah, for sure. Go. Word two, $50. Bacon. Bacon? Yeah, bacon.

Bacon's a tough one. No, it's not. Oh, no. There's an easy one, John. Yeah, well done. Yeah. There you go. All right, we'll go to the next one, or you want to take your $50?

No, no, we'll go to the next one. Word three, $100. Hemsworth. Chris. Yes. Yeah. Oh, so job, producer Joel. Sorry, my bad. Yeahemsworth. Chris. Yes. Yeah. Oh, so job, producer Joel. Hello. My bad.

Yeah, hey, hey, hey. Yeah, geez. Trigger happy with the buzzer. He's never going to get this. We change. We had Leah, we had Chris. So we landed on Chris. So thank you.

Well done. You've got $100. Do you want to go for $500? Yeah. Word four, $500. Glow for $500? Yeah. Word four, $500. Glow. Glow? Yeah.

Glow stick. Oh, no! What was it? Worm. Glow worm, glow stick. They're both really good options, guys. Ange. Damn it.

Oh, mate. What was the fifth word? Apprentice. Apprentice builder. Oh, no! Four! Ange. What was the fifth word? Apprentice. Apprentice builder. Oh, no. Four. Ange. Mate.

It's so close. I'm sorry, Ange. Damn it. Damn it. Well, listen, the good thing is we're continuing on this game. Actually, next week, hang around because we've got a huge announcement to make about five words, which is starting Monday, okay? Yeah, we'll tell you what is happening.

We're sick of all these ahs. We've had enough of them. That's right. We're going to change things to some help from someone. We'll tell you next after Pink. It is the hits. Jono and Ben, the bold and the beautiful. On the hits.

Note, may not be beautiful. Next week, there is a holiday Monday, actually, which we'd forgotten about. Memorial holiday for Queen Elizabeth. So on Tuesday, we've got something special happening. So we've been on a quest

right now to get to 5,000 likes. We put a photo up because we hadn't had a winner for our game Five Words for 5K. We were like, if we get to 5,000 likes

on this photo, we'll give away a guaranteed $5,000. That's what the bosses said. It was a pretty simple ask, I thought, from us to you. 100,000 people saw the photo, but only 2,500 people liked the photo. And it kind of petered out. It ran out of gas.

It did run out of gas, you're right. Which is an appropriate reference, Ben. That's right, because our friends at Gas Petrol Service Stations, they've reached out and they've filled up our tank. They've pumped their Bowser into us, and they're taking us over the threshold next week, Ben Boyce. Oh, but not just for one day. Not just for $5,000.

Every day next week that we're on air, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, there's going to be a guaranteed $5,000 winner each day. $5,000 each day. We stay in the studio until five words is one. Friday and there's got a guaranteed $5,000 winner each day. $5,000 each day. We stay in the studio until five words is one. That's how it's going to work. So thank you so much to Gas Petrol Service Station.

Although I'm a little confused why we're rewarding you because all we asked you to do was click a photo for 5,000 likes and you couldn't even do that. And now gas have come through and gone, no, no, let's give them money. They shouldn't be getting money. They should be getting punished, Ben. Yeah, you can swipe your AA Smart Fuel or membership card every time you fill up at gas petrol service stations and save every day. And thank you so much to them. I mean, that's incredible. We've got $5,000 to give away every day next week.

Jeez, if you don't like us by the end of next week, $20,000 we're blowing on you. There's not much more we can do. So listen out from Tuesday, 7.45, and get on the phone. 0800 THE HITS. You could be winning big next week, all thanks to gas petrol service stations on The Hitch. Look out! Scary dinosaurs.

Not Jurassic Park. It's these guys. Jono and Ben on The Hits. Now, Ben, I'm going to something this weekend, which I, when I heard about it, I'm like, this would just be your worst nightmare. A surprise party for you. Yeah, if it's on me, that's, yeah.

You would just be like, because you like to know everything. You would like to be organized. Is there a theme? Have I bought this thing? Yeah. It would be cake there. You hate cake. It would just, It would throw you

A surprise Have you ever been given A surprise party I think my wife Tried to do something Earlier on And it surprised me It just threw me right out

Like we got in the car After work And we ended up Heading off somewhere And it's like Guess what We're going away For the weekend

And I was like Well I haven't packed I haven't got anything She's like I've got my stuff I'm like What stuff have you got And then I'm like

You wouldn't have packed The stuff that I would have packed Yeah I pulled over Looked at the bag I was like Oh you've got my stuff. I'm like, what stuff have you got? And then I'm like. You wouldn't have picked the stuff that I would have picked. Yeah. I pulled over, looked at the back. I was like, oh, you've taken all this. Have you not watched the, anyway. Pull the car over. Yeah.

So I'm not a great person to have a surprise party for, but I don't mind being part of someone else's surprise. Yeah. It's fun when you're part of the group. Yeah. But it takes a lot of meticulous planning, doesn't it? The surprise. Because I've been to one previously.

There was like 30 of us ducked behind couches and tables and bookshelves in my friend's lounge. And we're like, oh, he's coming soon. But they don't know that they need to be somewhere on time, the people. And so they're like, oh, he's meant to be home soon. And he was running an hour late. Honestly, it was an hour late. And we got to the, I think about the 40-minute mark

where some sensible person was like, listen, should we stop crouching and just, should we mingle and then see if we can get a gauge on when he's here? And then we'd go back to hiding. So then we all just started, you know, mingling, eating some food and having some drinks and things like that. And he just turned up at the door. He's like, hey, what's going on here?

But he's still got a surprise. It just wasn't that, you know, one, two, three, surprise. Yeah. I mean, some people love it. You're either a surprise party person or you're not. And for me, that's not for me. The only thing I would, I appreciate all the effort that everyone had gone to because it takes a lot to align everyone's schedules behind the scenes

without you knowing and stuff. But I'd be like, Jesus, if you've pulled this off, what else are you lying to me about? This is a pretty monumental. Check your DMs. Adam Levine, give me your phone. I want to check your DMs. What's going on here?

Yeah. I've spoiled two surprises before as well. Oh, have you? Both my in-laws too. My mother-in-law. My mother-in-law. My father-in-law was taking her away for a special weekend, and I was like, oh, you're going away to the Hawks Bay this weekend?

She's like, am I? I was like, oh, God. When you do that, you're like, a little bit of you dies inside. And then you try and backtrack, and it's like, oh, maybe it wasn't you, or maybe it was someone else. You planted that seed.

You made that surprise. You're essential listening for non-essential banter. Jono and Ben on the hits. Someone waking up this morning, $23 million richer after last night's lotto jackpot. How's that, $23 million? I don't reckon they're waking up. I reckon they've been going all night.

No, fair enough. You're right. The ticket was bought just slightly up north out of Auckland. And there was also a strike of one million. Had to be one. 128 people won that. Took home around about $8,500, which is not too bad. I never get a strike.

What is? Oh, look, I don't know. You're the one that plays. I don't actually play it. I just always end up buying like a $25 thing. But I don't understand what any of it means. Some people are very good with their lotto numbers. Same numbers every week.

Well, yeah, because the Powerball was one last night, but then there was also First Division that was one as well. So I guess you get the First Division and then someone else. So they get that of $333,000 plus they got the Powerball, which jackpotted it up to bloody $23 million. Love those Powerballs. Remember when we got hypnotized by a lotto, for a lotto campaign,

and they were like, what would you do if you won? Would you split the money with Ben? You were very generous. You said you would. I blame it on the hypnotic state. Hypnosis. Because I said,

I'll give you something. And they drilled down and said, what? And I said, I'd like a box of beers or something. You're a bit hurt today. I mean, you like beer you something. And they drilled down and said, what? And I said, I'd like a box of beers or something. You're a bit hurt tonight. I mean, you like beer? So this was a situation where both millionaires knew you'd give me a box of beers.

But, yeah. And I said I would give you money. Yeah, I know. That was nice of you. You look like the better person. But as I say, I was hypnotized. So, I don't know. Yeah.

But doesn't your true self come out when you have to be nice? It's not like you could say I was drunk or anything And I was making bad decisions Yeah but it wasn't like It was a joint ticket That we're like Hey this is our numbers mate You're like

This is all my money It's my money You're like I'll give you a box of beers Yeah but you've got millions of it You give me a box of beers You want a loan I'll give it to you

At a competitive loan Oh thank you Competitive interest Jeez I tell you what We've got no coffee In the household at the moment Right You really notice not having stimulants.

Life would be such a battle without stimulants, wouldn't it? A lot of people do it, though, don't they? I know. Yeah. I was looking at an article here, tips of quitting caffeine. Apparently you've got to slowly wean yourself off it. Right. Otherwise, if you go cold turkey, it's a nightmare, apparently.

Your body doesn't know what's happening. Because it stays in there, just one cup stays in there for 10 hours. So you're having three a day, 30 hours of caffeine just pumping through their veins. Good to go. There's not even 30 hours in the day, is there? Yeah. Yeah. So this is just a passive-aggressive way of saying,

can we get a coffee somehow at this hour of the morning? Yeah. How many have you had this morning? Oh, two single shots. Two single shots. Yeah, right. All single shots. Get you going. Running alert. get a coffee somehow at this hour of the morning yeah how many of you had this morning oh two single shots two single shots all single shots get you going running alert no no it doesn't get me firing like it you know like it does back in the you know when you first start but you know it's it's a way to start the morning i'm already running it so i'm sort of like a meerkat alertness you know myself i'm already at 110 so it gets them up to 130 140 exactly yeah like you can

do it like I've done days where I'm like I'm not gonna have a coffee but I don't enjoy it like I don't enjoy it but you know you're probably like

me you get to the stage where you obviously you have enough dinner coffee yeah you know and it's obviously that's before you go to bed it's not like it's

it's gonna kick you know we had to do a host a client thing the other day and it was a lunch with the clients everyone was drinking I had a coffee got to client thing the other day and it was a lunch with the clients. Everyone was drinking I had a coffee. Got mocked. Did you? Got mocked for having a lunchtime

coffee. And I'm sorry. Sorry for having a coffee. You know. People judge and then someone had a cup of peppermint tea and then they got ridiculed off the table. That's funny that, eh? That's New Zealand. It's like, what are you smashing boots, mate? Just been having a couple of drinks. Just going to have a coffee. Just thinking, oh mate, look at you. You're that, eh? It's New Zealand, isn't it? It's like, we've just been having a couple of drinks,

just going to have a coffee, just thinking, oh, mate, look at you. You're like, what? What? This is why. I was talking with someone the other day. They're like, oh, you go to a festival in the US or Europe. You can buy bottles of wine, like big bottles of wine.

We can't be trusted. Oh, and bring them in, too, in a lot of the places. BYO. Yeah, like bring it in and in a lot of the places. BYO. Yeah, like bring it in and everyone's fine but over here we're like... Yeah, you get like five millilitres

of a plastic bottle of wine at Eden Park or Sky Stadium or something. That's all we can be trusted with. Exactly. We can't even be trusted with that because then we buy

32 of them at once. Look out! Scary dinosaurs. Not Jurassic Park. It's these guys. Jono and Ben on the hits. So Robbie Williams coming to New Zealand. He's going to be at the Mission next year, which is incredible.

There's so many, so many great artists coming back into New Zealand. Now that Joe Biden said COVID, it's done. Pandemic over. Yeah, good on you, Joe. How does he know? I guess in a lot of ways. And that's what Jacinda was saying. The worst of the pandemic is, you know, like it's still around COVID,

but it's not so much a pandemic anymore. Yeah, we were saying yesterday, there's a couple of people in the office who got it. We're like, plow on, guys. Plow on. We're in the plow on phase, aren't we? We're back to 2019. If you turn up to work sick, you're a bloody legend.

Still turning up. It's a campaign we're going to get behind. Yeah, regardless of how you're feeling, turn up to work. You're a legend. I don't know if that a campaign we're going to get behind. Regardless of how you're feeling, turn up to work. You're a legend. I don't know if that's a message that the government's pushing. But one of the amazing acts, amazing events that's coming back to New Zealand is Laneways Festival. Now this is sort of the

alternative music. I haven't researched too much into it but it's coming back to Albert Park next year. It's been here before. It's in Melbourne as well. Through all the laneways of Melbourne it's started. Far too cool for year. It's been here before. It's in Melbourne as well. Through all the laneways of Melbourne it started. Far too cool for us, Ben. Yeah, far too cool for us. We wouldn't be there.

Your pants don't run over your ankles, do they? Got a ponytail? No. No. Drinking butcher? No. No. Well, I won't see you at laneways.

Yeah. Okay. But Producer Joel, you're right smack bang in the wheelhouse for laneways, aren't you? I think I'd probably still stick out. I reckon. You are very tall. If you brought the dreadlocks back you'd fit in. You'd fit in perfectly

but. How would I fit in? How could you make me fit in the laneways? That hipster look you go for of the old those like the corduroy hats. Oh you put a corduroy hat on? The baggy shirt yeah. Doc Martens? You got some Doc Martens? Yes I do. Grow a beard? Grow a long beard or something? Yeah okay

alright. Grow a long beard? Ginger Yeah okay Grow a long beard Ginger beard Some rollies You might fit in there Okay So what you want to do now You're going to put us You're going to show How out of touch

We are right now Because you're going to Say some names Of maybe some people That are performing At Lane Waves Or maybe you just Made up these names

You just called it Lane Waves too So we've really Lost them now I think it's Laneway or lame way oh is it laneway as well just the single laneway yeah and we've been pluralizing it too oh i like to go to multiple events though for me it's laneway so i travel around the whole place

but for you maybe laneway do we even need to do this i think we've exposed ourselves all right okay go for it so the first one is Jehovah and the Door Knockers. It's a band. Band? Oh, well, look, you were confident on this one. I'm going to go with you then, all right? No. I said it with confidence,

so I sounded like I knew what I was talking about. Oh, jeez. They're not at Laneway. They're not at Laneway. Yeah. The Drippy Daffodils playing this year? The Daffodils might be, but not the Drippy Daffodils. The Daffodils are banned.

Daffodils are an Auckland band. Oh,odils might be, but not the Drippy Daffodils. The Daffodils are banned. Daffodils are an Auckland band. Oh, wow. How about Ross from Friends? Ross from Friends. That's a ban. Is it? Oh, wow. I think it's a DJ.

Yeah. Chaos and the CBD. Chaos and the CBD. I'm going to say no. That's not. That's not. Not at Laneways. Are they playing at Laneways?

Oh, okay. Great New Zealand duo, Chaos and the CBD. How about Prince Charles and the Sausage Fingers? You've made that one up, surely. That needs to be an act, though. Prince Charles and the Sausage Fingers. Ben Boyce and the Purells playing, the hand sanitizers. They're there, mate.

They come here this year. How about the Cereal Grillers? Yes, Ben. Oh, damn. You say it with such confidence As well You like it as a man Ramen Takara They gonna be there

Yes of course they are They are both gonna be there On the food They're both food vendors Well they're there In a way They're there I said yes they are

I didn't say they're an artist Oh god this is putting us Really out of touch right now the backseat lovers yeah of course they are oh wow

I was going to say no to that one but it would be a shame if they didn't turn up there's a Tuesday between a Monday and between a Wednesday yeah

is that the name of the there is a Tuesday between a Monday and between a Wednesday oh no they're on at four o'clock. That's actually correct.

That actually is a band. Oh, my goodness. It's the extended name. They're called There's a Tuesday now, but look, Kiwi band, and they're going to be there. Laneway, Auckland Anniversary Day. Yeah, that's happening. That's happening.

Oh, it's good to see it back, though, isn't it? It is good to back. Very popular. Just we were not popular. Too popular for us. They've got pranks. They've got puns. Now they just need some actual listeners.

Jono and Ben on The Hits. Now, 100 The Hits, we want to know the coolest thing that you've got. A bit of memorabilia,

something you've got in your house that would impress people when they came on over. Well, Paddy Gower, we had Patrick Gower on the show yesterday

and he admitted to stealing something from the Queen. I stole a teacup off the Queen and a saucer. I went to Buckingham Palace when I was a young fella to one of her garden parties.

She has a garden party every summer. And, you know, being quite experienced at that point in stealing road cones, you know, I'd stolen, you know, I'd stolen sort of good sort of 50 road cones, I guess, by that stage. You know, I just moved on to the Queen's Cups and Sauces There you go, Paddy Gow Stealing, rewarding him for stealing

from an innocent elderly lady Stole the Queen's Cups and Sauces Back in the day she would have sent him to Australia with all the other criminals So we are after the coolest thing you own, Producer Joel actually you mentioned something after the show

yesterday that you managed to get your hands on a rapper's very sweaty shirt post show post show yeah Northern Base 2018

one of the biggest festivals in New Zealand Stormzy he's an English rapper really really big in UK he's actually coming back to New Zealand this year as well

and he took the took the shirt off his back like a dripping gave you the shirt off his the took the shirt off his back like a dripping gave you the shirt off his back took the shirt off his back gave it to me I've been saying that about Stormzy is he going to be at Laneways

this year? he's not at Laneways he's coming to Trust Arena in December though but yeah and I haven't washed it to this day so he gave you a sweaty shirt

and you have not washed it to this day but he also the manager then came over afterwards with a very generous offer. Yeah, it was just like the bag had clearly been bought that day from Queen Street in Auckland. And they just gave me the bag and the receipt as well.

So I got the receipt. They're just like, hey, if you want to take it back, go for gold. This is all yours now. It was like a present. It was like, hey, if it doesn't fit you, whatever. What is the shop's return policy on a sweaty T-shirt worn by a rapper? I think it was a month policy, but yeah, it was pretty smelly because you can only imagine after playing an hour at a festival,

and he's a big guy as well, so yeah. What a lovely gesture, though. So we'll go to the phones right now. We've got one already this morning on 0800. The hit's Amanda. The best thing you own. What is it? A stack of unused plastic bags from New World.

Jeez, that's good. What, this is like the ones they use for the fruit and veggies? Or what is it? No, like the shopping bags, like the old shopping bags before they went to pay for them. Oh, the ones the bloody woke greenies made us get rid of. For good reason. Yeah, that's the ones. For good reason. That's the one.

For good reason. Yeah, that's, oh, how many do you think you've got in total, Amanda? Oh, a couple of hundred, probably. Oh, jeez. You'd walk out in public with that and people would give you death looks nowadays, wouldn't they? Yeah, that's the one. The kids are so hyper-aware of it now, and rightfully so.

They're obviously taught at school, you know, that we've their parents have ruined the environment, which we have but every time I pull out anything plastic my daughter Poppy's like, oh well done you've just killed a turtle and I'm like, I haven't put the turtle in the bag, I haven't done anything I don't know how this is going to affect the turtles

day to day, me just putting a sandwich in a plastic bag, but I tell you what, it's frowned upon yeah what are you going to do with these 200 plastic bags? I don't know. Too ashamed to use them? Probably, yes, use them for rubbish bags

or use them for the weak clothes and the kids' bags at school and stuff. Make some money on the dark web, I imagine. Yeah, I consider that. Consider that, yeah. People that are like, you know, fresh, unused plastic bags. Hey, good on you, man. Are you going to have a great day? Yeah, I consider that. People that are like, you know. Fresh, unused plastic bags. Good on you, man.

Are you going to have a great day? Yeah, you too. Thanks. All right, keep them coming through. 0800-THE-HITS-4487. Love to know from you this morning, what is the coolest thing that you own? Best bit of memorabilia.

We'll get to your calls and texts. The Jono and Ben podcast. The world's number one podcast. Please don't check those stats. Hey, in the middle of the coolest thing you own what is it oh 800 the hits telephone number producer joel some texts coming through on 4487 this morning tiger woods golf glove someone owns that one oh wow that's cool speaking of uh hey it's obviously you have great things to own

a sign all blacks jersey from the first loss to Ireland in Chicago from 2018 or 2019 I believe okay that's nice Stormtrooper and Darth Vader helmet a replica wow

you have to be a big fan don't you of the old self Star Wars you can go mad on the movie memorabilia and there's so much merch or you can buy as well yeah you've gone mad

on figurine memorabilia too no no I've got a whole bunch Funko Pops. Then pull it back because every time I go into the store I go, oh, there's another one I could get and I'm like, pull yourself out of it, boys. Hey, I ain't under that. It's a telephone number

this morning. We've got Richard, the best thing you own, mate? Oh, the best thing I've got was my dad gave me some cufflinks that he got given from Al Gore when he was the vice president. Oh, the climate change pest. Al Gore is a pest.

He's doing a lot of great stuff for climate change. Oh, he's always like, you guys are ruining the environment. And he was really close to being American president, wasn't he? It was a lot of controversy, I remember, around that. But yeah, that's pretty cool. How did he get the cufflinks? Dad worked in a position that he sort of got to deal with a lot of people. You know, it was a quiet position, but not many people knew about it.

And he sort of collected quite a few mementos over the years. That's awesome. Yeah, he just said, look, having a tidy up. He goes, oh, I remember this. Yeah, no, he's cool. He's a good dude. And they had spoken for a little bit. And he said, here, you can have these.

And they're really cool. They've actually got the vice president seal. Oh, the actual vice president cufflinks. Can I just say, the more vague you are about your dad's job, the more I want to know what your dad did. It was exciting, but it's not really exciting. Oh, okay. So Al Gore took the cufflinks off his shirt,

so he would have been buttonless on the wrists. Because once you remove your cufflinks, nothing's holding them. He rolled up his sleeves and he got into something, helped to save the environment? Yeah, it was a wee while before the environment was of concern. And they were sitting down and, yeah, no doubt,

in the lounge they were in, they were having a few tipples, so to speak. And I don't know exactly how it happened. They never told me. But they said, no, he gave them to me, and here you go. What a great gesture from Al Gore, although I can't help but feel he would have woken up the next morning and gone, ah, we are my bloody cufflinks? Cufflinks.

Why is my head hurting? Did I give my cufflinks away last time? That's a really cool, fantastic call. Thank you very much, Richard. Appreciate your time. Anytime. The Hits. For more podcasts from The Hits Network, check out iHeartRadio.co.nz.