Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: Jono Redeemed Himself After Giving People Food Poisoning

Episode Date: February 25, 2022

In 2018 Jono accidentally gave a bunch of people food poisoning, and he's never cooked chicken again since. But recently he was given the opportunity to redeem himself! We also spoke more of the unusual jobs you wouldn't have heard of, and one of our callers did a job relating to with panty-hose... Finally, we continued on with our good deeds and sent Jono out to shout someone petrol. And it was a bit of a shambles! Enjoy the podcast.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Birds with the Jono and Ben podcast. Hey guys, welcome. Oh, sorry, there you go. There you go. What a fumbly start. You know, this hookup's never going to work out, is it? Yeah, what is the podcast? The podcast intro?

Welcome. I'm broadcasting from home at the moment, hence the unprofessional beginning to this where we talked over each other. I mean, Ben, in the studio, on home turf. You probably should have led with that, actually. You know, when you're playing, you're playing. Sorry. Yeah, really,

it's really fumbly, isn't it? Why is it so fumbly? Like I can see you through Zoom. Yeah, when you're playing in a way game. Oh,

you know, you're still going. Okay. All right, no, anyway, I'm broadcasting from home. Do you know,

I've been in this room here and I've been here since four o'clock this morning. My family haven't come out to see me once. How's your job going? How's the radio going? Just here, just a lonely man in a quiet room yelling things into a microphone. Not once.

How's it going? Novelty's worn off. This job, no pizzazz or jazz with this job with the family now. It wears off, doesn't it? Well, maybe it's just you that you've worn off the family. I wouldn't put so much on the radio. Great, we've got a five-hour break. Ben, you've done a lot of talking this morning.

Some great talking too. Award-winning talking. A lot of it over the top of you. Like just before in the podcast intro. But now you've got to go do more talking. You've had a late call-up due to many Omicron cases to the ACC, the Cricket Commentary, But now you've got to go do more talking. You've had a late call-up due to many Omicron cases. To the ACC, the cricket commentary,

which we were talking about yesterday in the podcast intro. They want you today, mate. You're straight from here to commentate test cricket. This must be a dream. Well, yeah, a dream. It also just felt a little underprepared, but that's all right. You were always their first pick. Just remember that. Yeah.

The ACC is now the alternate close contacts, not the cricket collective, I think, because, yeah, some of them are close contacts. So I'm coming on in there. Who the fuck's playing cricket? What? New Zealand's playing cricket? South Africa.

South Africa. South Africa. They're quite good, the South Africans. Well, they have been in the past, but they're also suffering from a bit of, obviously, Omicron over there as well. And also there's, because they couldn't send their one-day team over there,

they've sent it. So the team's not quite as strong as it has been in the past, but they're also, they're normally very good. So this is kind of good. We won the first one in three days, so hopefully we'll be all right in this one. So we're playing the B team. Well, I don't want to say the B team, you know,

but yeah, two seconds. We'll take the wins. So we're playing the B team. Well, I don't want to say the B team, you know, but yeah. Two seconds. We'll take the wins. You'll take the wins, exactly. You've got to take the wins. So I'm off to do that in a minute, and you can go avoid your family, or they can avoid you. Yeah, they can avoid me.

I'll just stay in here and keep talking. Two semi-competent dads handing out semi-competent parenting advice. Jono and Ben on the hits. Over 6,000 cases of COVID-19 reported yesterday. We're going to phase three, guys. We're at phase three. We'll explain more on that later this hour. Do you know what to explain? I'm sort of getting my head around it.

Yeah, slowly. But I think like everyone else, there's been so many different things we've had to sort of get our head around. You're like, what's this one now? What are we doing? How's this work? Go get tested.

Don't go get tested. Yeah, exactly. Wear a mask. You're wearing the wrong mask. A lot of confusing information out there, isn't there? Pack and save yesterday, doing some shopping. And, well, I wasn't shoplifting. I was actually paying for my shopping.

But, you know, when you go to the checkout and you've got your trolley and the person in front of you has got their trolley and they've loaded onto the conveyor belts. Well, the gentleman in front of me had loaded on the conveyor belt and he had done that thing where you're like damn it i forgot to get something oh yeah and you're trapped and you feel the pressure from the shoppers behind you i mean i had already started loading my stuff on he'd put the little plastic thing in between you We'd separate it. It was good to go. And I said, that's fine. You go get it, mate. But the problem was, what he'd forgotten

to get was meat. And meat was literally on the other side of the supermarket. It took him about five or seven minutes. He comes back. He puts the meat on. He'd do a few more scanning of the items. He's like, uh-oh. I've forgotten to

get something else at this point i'm thinking well you clearly haven't finished your shopping once you've i mean once you've put your shopping on the convey about there's no going back is it it's kind of like time's up time's up guys no more bets you know but but you're right you're allowed one little thing like it's a mad rush i I had to do it the other day. I'd forgotten something, and I'm like, you're sprinting to the other end of the supermarket to grab and to get back in time because you don't want anyone to be waiting for you when you come back. I know.

What's the limit, though? Is it one item? Is it a one item you can go and collect? Well, I think if you grab, it's got to be quick. You've got to run. You've got to run. If you grab two things on the way back, that's fine, but just don't dawdle.

You can't walk. And you can't time things on the way back, that's fine, but just don't dawdle. You can't walk. And you can't time it that you come back after all your stuff's gone through. You have to do it mid-shop. Yes. That's the thing. But once all of your items are on the conveyor belt, there's no going back. You're hamstrung.

It's like cars parked outside Parliament. There's nothing anyone can do. We all know it. We're all trapped there waiting for this person running across the other side of the supermarket. As a child, there is nothing more terrifying than when you're doing a supermarket shop with your mum or your dad and you're in line and they're like, oh, I've forgotten something. And they leave you in the aisle. And you're like, what?

Don't go. Don't leave me. There's nothing more stressful because you don't know what to do when you get to the point where they've finished scanning your items and your mum or your dad is still around the supermarket somewhere. Oh my God, that is just so stressful. I had one too that was very stressful when they started scanning and midway through the scan, you know, a big shop. I was like, oh, I don't have my wallet. That is one of those moments where you're like, oh, then you're like like, hey I'm really sorry, but I don't have my wallet but they're actually really good about it, they sort of like

scanned everything, put it aside, and then you came back and put it, but I was like, oh this is just a big waste of everyone's time including mine, but they've done it before obviously, they've been idiots like me. That's just a sprint off situation I think Leave it and never come back.

Hey, next, phase three. We're in it now. What does it mean? Well, hopefully we'll explain more next. It is the hits you got, Jono and Ben. Scrolling through your feed. Time to hop aboard Ben Boyce and straddle him on the roller coaster of news. What's been happening, matey?

Well, over 6,000 COVID cases yesterday. Things are really rising each day. We skipped, I think, 4,000, 5,000 cases a day. We went from 3,000 to 6,000. And that means we've entered Phase 3. As of today, Phase 3 has kicked in. Now, Ben, can you tell me about Alert Level 4.2 Red Light Zone Orange Traffic Cone Phase 3?

I'll try to. Well, Phase 3, it's designed to help the health system handle Omicron and a greater shift on individual responsibility. And it always makes me nervous when you put the responsibility back on individuals. But that's what we're doing. One thing we've learned over the last two years is you can trust individuals. It seems, now, am I the only one who thinks that it seems like the worse it gets, the looser we get? Yes.

It's like a big night out. The longer it goes on, the less we're caring about it. Yeah, well, Dr. Bloomfield yesterday was saying actors, if you've got COVID, behave accordingly. But also, they've changed some of the rules around close contacts. So only someone who has COVID-19 and their household contacts or house-like contacts will need to isolate. So that means there's a lot of kids probably going back to school today that were isolating yesterday that aren't close contacts in a house anymore. So people can go back to school or work today.

We tried to get the hippo, Chris Hipkins and Bloomfield, on the show today, but they said no. They said no, Ben. It feels like a good time to come on and explain what this is, but just a cold, hard no to producer Bee Humps. It is our radio show, so I don't blame them. Rats test. We're hearing a lot about rats test. They're going to be the primary mode of testing for the virus.

Anyone that takes a rat test, you know, at home, and if you're positive, it's your responsibility to go on and let them know you've got COVID because, of course, they'll have no idea that you've got it or not. So you need to do that. You need to isolate for 10 days. And there's millions more rat tests apparently coming in the next couple of days, and they'll be available to purchase from March. So tell you what, old Gary, who started his rat test business about a year ago,

and his wife is like, what are you doing, Gary? He's like, just run with me on this one. It's going to be big. Do you know the lines at the testing station? So long. And there's so many people just driving off because they can't be bothered waiting. I imagine the numbers are a lot higher than they're reporting. Yeah, you're probably right

actually. That's the scary thing about it at the moment. And just quickly, just to bring some lighter news because it's all a bit depressing this morning. So there's a reporter in the States. His name is Miles Harris. He's a reporter based in Ohio and he was filming on the side of the road about to do a report, and there were cars going along the street, as you see on the news plenty of times, and one of them stopped, and it was his mother, and she was very pleased to see him. This is my mom, hold on. Hi baby! I'm trying to work right now, you're over there calling my phone, this is D'Angelo, you can say hi, and Don't be holding up traffic because you got cars behind you

So the guy behind the camera was loving the crap out of that wasn't he Hi baby Such a mum thing to do too Big wave big smile So proud Probably got out of the car and she did that thing where she licks her fingers And wipes dirt off his cheek Such a mum thing to do too. Big wave, big smile. So proud. Seeing her son, he's like, mum. Probably got out of the car and she did that thing where she licks her fingers and wipes dirt off his cheek. And that is Scrolling Through Your Feed this morning.

Yesterday we talked about jobs that we never knew existed. We had someone that made a lubricant for artificial insemination. Well, there's plenty more texts and calls coming through. Jobs you never knew existed. They're next. It is the hits. Rise and shine. Time to start the, um, who are we kidding?

When are the both of you? Jono and Ben on the hits. You're on the hits. 627, that's Kelly Clarkson. As we heard this week, she's changing her name back to her maiden name at some stage. Middle name. Oh, is it a middle name? Yeah, so she's completely dropping her last name.

So it's like just her first and middle name. Oh, I see. I was half listening when you told me that a couple of days ago. Then I went to spout off information like I remembered, but I didn't quite remember. Can I thank Kelly Clarkson from the bottom of my heart for bamboozling commercial radio announcers all over the world now. It's really good.

It's throwing a spanner in the works, Clarkson. Yesterday on the show, we got talking about jobs that you didn't know existed and some really interesting ones. I was working at the regional council and I was folding hundreds of letters. I was a pasty crimper. A pasty crimper. I made lubricant, huge amounts of it, for AB technicians. I love that.

Huge amounts of it. Masses. Gallons of lubricant. So much lubricant. It has to do with artificial insemination for cattle and stuff as well. But yeah, he told us very well. When you think about it, lubricant needs to be made. Huge amounts of it. Huge amounts of it.

These need to be jobs. You just don't think about it. My amounts of it. These need to be jobs. You just don't think about it. My friend, when he was growing up, do you remember outside some of the Domino's and Pizza Huts, they would have one of the employees holding an arrow pointing into the restaurant on the footpath? Yeah. And he's like, I'm literally doing the job of a pole. Like a lamppost can do this job, but I'm having to wave it and hold it.

Eagle boys back in the day would put someone in an eagle costume. Yeah. If not, you're just standing there like a dude holding a sign, you know? Yeah. And I mean, there's no more degrading.

I mean, teenage years are tough enough anyway, but there's no more degrading moment of having to put on an eagle boys costume and wave a sign around on a footpath in public. Juliet, you were looking online at some very unusual jobs that exist. Yeah, okay, so there's such thing as an ethical hacker, which I found really weird and really interesting. I think it would just be like hacking into,

I would imagine like the FBI would need an ethical hacker or the police to like solve crimes and stuff like that. They'd need someone who could do that. They came from a dark past, but they've been employed to test the security of websites and things. Yeah, probably. Or they just know how to hack, but they're not doing it for a bad reason.

You know what I mean? Why wouldn't you do it for a bad reason if you had those skills? Maybe you'd be busted by the FBI, and then instead of jail time, you're helping them out as an ethical hacker. Yes, that's actually very true. Also, people who have to test furniture or test beds like professional sleepers or

professional furniture testers, you've got to figure out if they're right or if they're comfortable. Imagine being employed to do that. Sounds like a pretty sweet job to me. Andrew, the hits, 4487 on the text. Can we find anyone out there doing a more unusual job than what we had yesterday? Making lubricant, huge amounts

of it, as well as that pasty shrimper. Crimper, sorry, not a shrimper. It's a whole other job I just made up. We'll find out what unusual ones are next. We're talking about jobs, unusual jobs that we didn't even know existed on 0800 The Hits. We've got Aaron. How are you, buddy? Good.

How are you? Great, buddy. Great. How's New Plymouth this morning? All right? Yeah, it's all good. I'm fine. so that's the main thing. We were just talking about jobs that you didn't know existed. Now, this is you in a previous role? Yeah, so when I was over in England, I was doing a job over there. And, John, you'd probably be fairly

familiar with it, mate. It was putting the cardboard sleeves inside pantyhose. Oh, okay. Well, I am an expert in packaging. You're right. He is. Of all sorts. Of all sorts. He has some wonderful packages. Not all of them legal, but a bit of it. Because they do come in a, well, as I know,

they do come in a square sort of package. And so someone actually used to physically put the cardboard in. Yeah, yeah. I lasted half a day there. Half a day. It was quite tricky to do, was it? I thought I had to try to put it on. I thought that was the gig.

I put it on. Yeah, that's good. Put that one back in. But yeah. Made my legs look magnificent. And so how many hours a day would these people who did this job have to do it? I think it was a full all-time job. But I'm sure they've got machines that do it now.

This was going back 20-odd years when I was over there. Yeah, you'd hope they had machines to do it now. Yeah, and so physically you'd have to put each cupboard and then wrap the pantyhose up, I imagine. Yeah, yeah. It's no good if you had long fingernails, mate, because you'd always put a bloody ladder in there. Oh, a ladder in the stocking.

Yeah, of course. A ladder in your pantyhose. It's something you just don't even, you're right, you don't even think about this job, but it exists. Yeah. Oh, Aaron, thank you. I really appreciate your time. No worries, Aaron.

I love listening to you guys talk. Oh, I appreciate it, man. Oh, thanks for listening, bud. You have a great weekend. All right, lads. You too. Chris with us on 0800 The Hits.

Jobs that we didn't know existed. And what was yours, Chris? So I used to transcribe interviews for New Zealand's Next Top Model. So the TV show, obviously, that was on,

what do you mean? You write out exactly what's said? Yeah, yeah. So they would send me a hard drive at my home, and I'd watch through all the interviews of all the girls, and I'd have to type out everything they said. What terrible things have you done in a past life?

It was a good foot in the door of an industry that I was pretty keen to work in. Yeah, no, that's great. How long does it take you? Because I imagine you'd have to keep going back over the interview because you'd miss words because they'd talk quicker than you could type. Yeah, definitely. There was a lot of stopping and starting and re-watching,

but you got pretty fast at typing by the end of it. Did you ever kind of make up what people said or sort of go, oh, they could have worded that differently or just word for word? Sometimes it was hard to figure out what they were saying through the sobbing or crying. It was pretty much word for word. Well, you know,

spare a thought for the person who has to transcribe our radio show every morning as well. I don't think that's the job. Have we got to transcribe it? No, but someone has to do it for our TV show, our last TV show for TVNZ. They're doing it for,

because they do subtitle captions, you know, as well. So you forget about that. Every stupid thing that comes out of your mouth, someone had to type that and then put that on TV. Even your F-bombs that managed to make the show Jono. Yeah. Someone else has to type that out.

Put it on. I love it how he's sort of saying he's an orator of the generations, and I'm the only one saying stupid things and swearing. Every dumb joke I did was that someone had to type that out. Hey, Chris, you have a great day. Thank you. Thank you. And quickly, just Anna, what did you used to do as a job?

Do you remember the old folding chairs for outside? And they had the webbing that was sort of plaited? Right. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yes, yep. And I'm in the NACI as well. I used to have to fold down the corners of the webbing and put screws through them. Oh, you put the material, the webbing material on the chairs

because otherwise we would sit down and our bums would just be directly on the ground. The four to bits, that was all thanks to you. Yeah, if your ass ended up on the floor, mate, it was probably my fault. Jeez, we must be raining like a monster in the Naki this morning. Yeah, and the funny thing is, I think the person you just spoke to lives about two minutes away from me.

New Zealand, eh? Where everyone knows everyone. It's two degrees, buddy. You have yourself a great weekend, Anna. Nice to talk to you. You too, bud. You have yourself a great weekend, Anna. Nice to talk to you. You too, bud. Before 7 o'clock, what Kim Kardashian has asked the courts to do in regards to Kanye, we'll find out.

It is the hits you got, Jono and Ben. The annoying ones talking between the songs. Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, Ben Boyce, you've had a childhood dream for a very long time. In fact, you've had a childlike body for a very long time as well. Yeah. And you got to live out your dream. Last weekend, it was commentating cricket.

Some would say you need better dreams. Oh, yeah, but I love my cricket and I got to do it on the ACC. As I said on the day, I don't think I'm quite cool enough for the ACC. I'm kind of like the decaf coffee of the coffee world, you know? I want to be part of the team, but not quite. But it was great. Still leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. Yeah, exactly. But with none of the fun sort of amphetamine effects of caffeine. But we're joined by the linchpin of the alternative commentary team, the one and only Jason Hoyt. Good morning. Yeah, g'day fellas. How you going?

Can I just say, you know, we all have our dreams, and it's always been my dream to be on your show. And so I let my mum know she'll be listening. She keeps a scrapbook of me, and certainly this is one of the highlights thus far. So great to be on the show. A big hello to Deirdre Hoyt as well, cheering her this morning.

Jason Hoyt, 25 different television shows and movies over the years, according to the Wikipedia page I found out over the weekend. Good God. Yeah. 25, that's a big scrapbook your mum's got, Jason.

Yeah, I've sort of dabbled in a few shows here and there, and just to make a crust, make sure that my thousands of children are fed and I keep a roof over their heads. So I've been very lucky, actually. I've been very blessed.

Now, Jason, as we did mention, you've been a huge cricket fan. He's always, since we started at this company, wanted to do commentary with you guys. I've been working hard with the boss of the ACC. I've been trying to get him on there, but, you know, for almost two years, he kept hearing, that's good to know, that's nice to know. Which in this, you know showbiz, Jason, you've been around a while, that means you've got no hope in hell.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Desperate times call for desperate measures. And Ben was finally given his opportunity on the ACC. And can I just say, you know, he was talking about the fact that it was a dream of his to do the ACC. That dream very quickly turned to a nightmare early on. And you'll know this, Jono, because, you know, we've spent years, mate, years building up our credibility, you know, working hard to be taken seriously as cricket commentators.

And in Ben's very first stint on the ACC, he came dressed as a duck. We were all speechless. We didn't really know what to say. You guys told me it was a dress-up day at the ground, and you guys were all dressing up. It was Hayes the new guy. You know, and that credibility that we'd built up over 10 years just crumbled at the minute.

Ben was saying that we told him it was a dress-up day. Look, I've spoken to all the team. No one recalls ever saying that to Ben. Oh, that's good. Well, his debut, his first gag off the bat, first ball he hit was this one. Matt Henry, I mean, this picture's looking greener than Chloe Swellbrook driving an electric car,

but we showed how to bat on it. Got the... And just cricket. Dead crickets from you guys. Nothing. Nothing back from my co-commentators. Yeah. Well, you know, what I loved about that, though, is that you could see the effort that he put in, you know,

and that he was taking it seriously. And good luck to him. I mean, sure, sure it died horribly on here, but the reality is he gave it a shot, and that's what we asked for on the AC. It was a difficult first session, much like the South Africans had to face with the Black Cat bowlers, but if you want to catch the

Alternate Commentary Collective, I think I've got to call back for one more day. He's back, Jason. But I don't know if we're on together, Jase. You're joking. Yeah, but it all kicks off on Friday. I won't be doing Friday, I think I'm doing Saturday, but you need to sparksport.co.nz subscribe and the co-word is ACC and you can head to sparksport.co.nz, subscribe,

and the code word is ACC. And you can flick between the ACC commentary and the other commentary. Oh, Jason Hoyt, very funny man. Appreciate your time. No worries. We've got Spy up next, you. Yeah, Kim Kardashian is pleading with the courts to do something involving Kanye. It's pretty juicy.

I'll tell you next. We'll find out after 6.60 on The Hits. Dealing with your friends Breakfast isn't bad The things I would do Jono and Ben Breakfast on The Hits You're on The Hits

Jono and Ben On your Friday morning Hey sad news Vainga Tuigamala One of the All Black Greats And on his In the Winger

Has sadly passed away At the age of 52 I was a real hero At the age of 52 I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a real hero

I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a real hero I was a 52. I was a real hero of mine growing up. In on the first again, that is Tui Gamala.

What a great sight he is. As he goes powering for the line himself. Tui Gamala looking to get the score in place. No going all the way himself. Spy. Know what's up. Spy.co.nz All right, strap yourselves in for some no holds barred celebrity gossip, too.

So Kim Kardashian is pleading with the courts to fast-track her divorce with Kanye after he asked the courts to delay it. So in a new filing, she said she very much desires to be divorced. She has asked Kanye to keep the divorce private, but he has not done so. He's been causing emotional distress for her and the family. So she's keen to...

She hopes that terminating the marriage will kind of make Kanye realise that the relationship is over. So they're not getting back together? No. Well, he's obviously desperate, but she is no going back. I know when they first said they were going their separate ways, they said after seven years of marriage, it's going to be an amicable divorce.

Is there ever an amicable divorce? I mean, there's a reason why you're going your separate ways. And it's going to be an amicable divorce. Is there ever an amicable divorce? I mean, there's a reason why you're going your separate ways. And it's not because you're amicable. There's various stages. Some are more amicable than others. You're right. But others are like, oh, this is a shocker. What I love about Kanye, too, is he refers to his mother-in-law as Chris Jong-un.

You know, when you refer to your mother-in-law as an evil dictator, you know things are going well. Yeah, well, that's not really going to help patch up the relationship, is it? No, and he's still sort of making digs. He did a show the other day, and he was rapping basically, indirectly but directly, to Pete Davidson, saying, like, you need security because of me. And then he rapped to Kim, saying,

never take the family picture off the fridge, never stand between a man and his kids. So he kind of incorporates these messages into his songs, but people pick up on that and then it makes the news. And then it, you know, it doesn't really make it go away, does it? Yeah, it's very determined. I was watching that doco on Netflix and just, yeah, the hustle that he had to do to be recognised as a rapper, you know,

he's determined, so this could take some time. He works hard. Yeah, exactly. And Pink is teaming up with the Calm app you know the Calm app, it's kind of like a meditation bedtime app, she's going to be reading children's bedtime stories to help kids get to sleep. She's not

the first celebrity who has done this, Harry Styles has done it before, Matthew McConaughey but on the subject, she was doing interviews about it. And on the subject of phones and kids, she said that she refuses to give her 10-year-old daughter, Willow, a phone. She said there's a light side and a shadow side to technology. And for kids, she's not quite there yet when it comes to giving them their own device. Willow does come home so much saying, Mom, Dad, kids in my class have a phone. I can't, I. but she says she doesn't care

and that it doesn't change her opinion on it. Jesus, anyone can afford a phone. And I love the negotiating that would have gone on. No, honey, I won't get you a phone, but I will put you on an international smash hit song, which is how I get my kids to do things as well. Ben, do you do devices with the kids? Yeah, we do.

My wife tries to do device free days, but I'm the one that crumbles with that. The kids know I'm the soft one to come in and go, can I, can I? All right. All right. They know how to get away with it, don't they? It's the greatest parenting tool, a device. It's up there with, I'm going to count to five. When I get to five, I don't know what the consequences are going to be,

but I'm going to count, okay, and you better watch out. Yeah, and that is your Spy Entertainment update for this hour. For more, you can head to thehits.co.nz. After 7 o'clock on the show, Jono, you had a shocker on the barbecue. I did, but I've redeemed myself now. There were casualties, okay. There were casualties, but I'll front foot it. People were sick, and I've redeemed myself now. There were casualties. There were casualties, but I'll front foot it. People were sick, and I'll tell you what happened shortly.

It is the hits you got, Jono and Ben. The great thing about listening to this show is that the day can only get better from here. Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, so an event took place in the prior household in 2018. Ben, I mentioned before, it sent shockwaves through the community. You knew about it. Well, this is an event you've never looked back on. It's changed the way that things happen in your house since then, right?

Yeah, it set me on a new path. I barbecued chicken at an event we had people over. Oh, okay. And I thought everyone had requested medium rare chicken. Right. But it turns out they wanted medium rare steak. They wanted the chicken well done. This is normally the way you cook chicken.

So you undercooked the chicken and what? People got sick? People got sick. For days after we keep getting texts of like i'm out with campylobacter um i mean i i got campylobacter as well it's a wonderful weight loss program oh jesus it's horrible it's horrible to get i've had it before not from that barbecue but uh but yeah it's not funny craig should do a Campylobacter ranger. No. No. It's not fun. Since then, chicken has been illegal in the household. I'm not allowed to barbecue chicken,

go anywhere near chicken. And actually, when I went to the doctor, and I was like, man, I've got this thing. I've had a nightmare of food poisoned about 19 people. He said, you don't cook chicken on the barbecue, only because the temperature doesn't get hot enough to kill the bacteria. If it has the bacteria in it, you're not going to kill it.

So, yeah, that apparently was a big no-no. So, last night, we went to a friend's place for a barbecue. Okay. He comes out with the biggest, juiciest raw chicken just on a plate and sitting in all of its natural juices bed, hands the plate to me and goes, can you cook this on the barbecue? Did you go, the doctor's sending it out that doesn't get hot enough or did you not say that to him? No, I saw this as an opportunity to redeem myself. This was a comeback. And he has

young children he's i'm sorry i would do it but you know i've got to look after the kids and so it was all on me it was all on me and i could feel you know the chicken was getting burnt but there were eyes burning into the back of my head from jen my wife i could feel the pressure and redemption i haven't had any texts this morning. Well, it's quite early on, I guess. But maybe they'll update them at one o'clock with the latest COVID numbers. Like, I cooked the hell out of that chicken. It was probably to the point where it was so dry, it took about 15 minutes to actually swallow a mouthful.

Well, that's the thing. You overcook it, eh? Just to compensate. Yeah. Well, you've done yourself. Have you had a disaster chef moment? A couple of months ago with Squid Game. Remember when Squid Game, we were all talking about Squid Game for that wee period of time?

Well, my daughter Sienna wanted to make Squid Game cookies. She'd never even seen the show, but she'd seen it on TikTok, their maker, and it ended up with this happening. So how do you make these? Okay, so you basically put like a couple like spoons of sugar and it takes a while to melt, so we're just going to put it on boost.

Okay. Oh, that's going quick. We'll just add the baking oh oh no hang on hang on yeah so a lot of smoke filled up the uh the room with that one so they didn't go that was disaster chef at its finest that would have been a good event on squid game wasn't it we can make cookies without burning down the kitchen. So what we want to open up on 0800 The Hits. Disaster Chef! When have you had a cooking disaster? What happened to you in the kitchen?

Did you poison everyone like Jono? Or did you get your lounge filled up with smoke like me? We'd love to hear from you this morning. 0800 The Hits. 4487 is our text. We'll be back with those calls after LAB YOY 712. We're talking disaster, Chef. Times that you've had a disaster, an absolute shocker in the kitchen,

like Jono giving Kampler back to everyone. On 0800 The Hits, we're talking disasters. Sue, it was a disaster. It was an absolute disaster. You tell us what the absolute disaster was. So I was on the PTA at my

son's school. This is going back many years ago. And my job was to cook a sausage and sizzle lunch for the children at about 300. Stock standard fundraiser, isn't it? The Kiwi sausage sizzle? Exactly. So I never checked the drip tray and I started this barbecue, caught fire.

I'm thinking, no, children are going to go without lunch. What are we going to do? So luckily enough, I resorted to plan B, which my house backed onto the school field. So it had a gate in between. So I went home, cooked all the sausages, and then I was like, how am I going to get all the kids their sausages? They can't file through one gate. So we made it like a school trip. They kind of walked along the road, up my drive, collected their sausage, out the back gate, sat on the back field. Crisis averted. Oh, so you just destroyed the other one and just caught up in flames?

Yes. Completely melted, like the knobs were falling off and everything from melting. How did you put it out? I kind of just called the caretaker. He dealt with that while I went and cooked sausages Like, can you deal with this inferno? Yep, it was, yeah, I was pretty stressed out I love your primary school caretaker

We put so much responsibility on them They just have to be able to do everything They're brilliant, they really are Yeah, they're mowing lawns, they're fixing drains, putting out fires. It's like the caretaker will do it. Has anyone asked the caretaker who's got skills in putting out fires? So, well, you saved the event. Well done.

Just managed to. Just. Well done, eh? Thank you for sharing that with us. That's all right. No problem. Have a lovely day. You too.

Cassandra with us on 0800 The Hits. Disaster, Chef. It was a complete disaster. Yes, it was. What happened? Well, I was in trouble a couple of times during my 16 years service in a deli. You were working in a deli? Yes, I was. And I'd been binge eating on chicken meat sometimes and chicken skin when it just came out from the oven.

What, you'd start eating the chicken? No, no, no, no. Not the whole chicken, just the small bits of it when we needed to shred it. Oh, right. So when you were shredding the chicken, you were having some of the chicken. Well, I can imagine it's very, like, I do that when I'm cooking at home. It's probably one of those things you're like, oh, that looks good, I want to have a little bit of it. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, I understand. But the problem is when you work in a deli. Yeah. You know, it's not the best. It's your job not to eat. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, and I was, one important time, I was taking out the hot chickens from the oven. I was doing my normal thing,

and I thought, oh, that chicken bum looks really nice. And I took it and started munching, and I got caught. And what happened? I had to go to the office. And I did a disciplinary procedure and stuff like that. I'm like, Kassania, can you just stop eating the chicken? You're like, it's so tasty and delicious. Verbal warning.

Oh, verbal warning. Verbal warning, too much chicken. Too much chicken. I mean, it is, yeah, it's a downside to working in a deli is everything looks delicious. Yeah. Exactly, exactly. Maybe they need to get vegans in there or something.

Yeah, true. Kassania, thank you so much for your call. Appreciate it. Not a problem. Have a lovely day. Have a good day. Bye. Scrolling through your feed.

His only close contact is the news, and here he is with it. Ben, what's happening in scrolling? Well, of course, New Zealand is in Phase 3, over 6,000 COVID cases yesterday. We'll explain a bit more about what phase three means after eight this morning and also because we don't understand what it means yeah i'm trying to get me and also some scary stuff going on in the world right now russia have declared war on ukraine uh with attack described as reading before as a full-scale war uh unconfirmed reports

of hundreds of ukrainian soldiers killed already, which is really, really scary. Putin, Vladimir Putin, who's, of course, the Russian PM, he said that the protests were basically needed. We're needed to do this, he's saying. We need to do this because of these protests going on in eastern Ukraine, while the rest of the world, including America and New Zealand, have kind of condemned it. Yeah, you always wonder when New Zealand condemns something if they

care. What do you mean? Hey, New Zealand condemns this. Do you think Putin's going, oh, yeah, right. I see. Don't you just find war just pointless? Particularly with what's going on over the last

two years. Hundreds of lives lost and it's a world away for us. I was watching on the news, just kids in the Ukraine with bulletproof vests and machine guns. They're holding machine guns. You're like, jeez. It is very scary. Putin has warned that if other countries attempt to interfere, it would lead to consequences you've never seen in history. So it's kind of a scary time to see how that's going to play out over there and what's going to happen, it would lead to consequences you've never seen in history. So it's kind of a wee scary time to see how that's going to play out over there

and what's going to happen from it. Well, the Ukraine, you did used to be part of Russia, didn't it, many years ago? Yeah, right. The USSR, was that the name of that big region? It has been independent, so maybe he's wanting to get it back to the good old days of the Soviet Union. The glory days for Putin. And the Auckland Council is seeking court orders for removal of a huge pile of rubbish in the North Shore of Auckland

and that can be seen from a satellite in space. That's how big the rubbish is got at the moment. So basically it started in an alleyway and people put more rubbish in there and now it's creeping into a reserve and it's basically becoming an unofficial rubbish dump in the middle of the North Shore. I don't know why the council are like seeking permission. Just get in there and get rid of it.

Why have they left it for so long? I don't know. You can see it from space. I need to find where this place is. I'm always having trouble dumping rubbish. I can go chuck it all over there. Yeah, but Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, when they're up there in space,

they can see down this massive pile of rubbish that's going on. You just think that wonderful pile of rubbish just started with one bag and it just grew into a big, beautiful

pile of rubbish. So much rubbish. Jeez, we've got a lot of rubbish. Actually, you think I'm joking about my dumping rubbish problem? It's the biggest bane of my life. Is it still a thing? Yeah, it's still a thing. I'm doing it in the darkness. There's so much stuff. I don't know what's going

on in your house. My car boot is constantly just full of rubbish. What are you doing? Like, what type of rubbish? You know, I'm just like so curious. Well, a lot of it's Heineken bottles. I drive around town with like tingling and rattling of Heineken bottles in the boot. And when I find a dumpster, boy, oh boy, I make use of it.

That is us calling to your feed this morning. I've talked many times, Jono, on this show about my daughter Sienna getting more sort of acting and TV work than myself. Yeah. Well, she signed up to the same agent that you and me both have, and every time the number comes up on your phone, you're like, oh, here's another gig. Here's a gig.

Is he back? Is he coming back? It happened to me yesterday I had to take her to a voiceover job. I was like, you know, I want a voiceover job and i was like you know i want a voiceover job i talk on the radio but you know my voice is out there why aren't i getting voiceover jobs yeah right so you you're like kind of a stage mom yeah yeah i had to drop her off and pick her up um but but she's also on an ad it's been playing a little bit on tv and billboards and stuff it's to do with bread um it's Nature's Fresh sort of ads.

And in it, she's sort of eating a sausage. Hold on. Hey, buddy, are you getting an extra back end of this? No, I'm not getting anything. I've got nothing on this. You can stop mentioning the bread brand then. Well, I was just going to say it's a bread ad that she's on. But now, every now and again, some people that she either knows

or doesn't know will go, hey, are you on an ad? She's getting recognized, not me. But she says now that people are going... Are you like, I used to be on an ad? Yeah, I was on a TV show. Hey, guys, me, me. But no, but people go up to her, but she said that a couple of people

came up to her the other day and go, oh my God, are you on an ad? She's like, yeah. And she's like, it's a sausage girl. And she's like, people are calling me sausage girl oh because in the ad she's eating a sausage and a bread bread she's like well the answer bread but i guess i'm eating a sausage sausage i imagine i imagine when the mad butcher had a daughter he wanted to name her sausage it would be a great name for the mad butcher's daughter or an avenger it's sausage girl

she's like i don't know how i feel about being called sausage girl and i'm like yeah i agree it's probably not the most yeah but i guess in the end she's eating a sausage that's what people think so now she's like people are calling me sausage girl i think you know any any nickname with the word sausage or any product in in it is always less than flattering. I mean, we used to work with Sharon and she said her nickname at school was Savloy. Oh, that's right. Yes. Yeah.

So she went through her teenage years with a sausage-based nickname. So she'll know. She'll know. The other thing, too, is with nicknames is they do stick. So you're going to need to get her a new gig. Without any meat-based products in it. That's right. Yeah, if she wants to get rid of Sausage Girl.

I actually went for the role of Sausage Girl, but I missed out on that. It was another job. Did you have a nickname? Did you have a nickname at school? Well, not really. Boyce and Berry was probably one, but not too many. I mean, you know, yourself? I was Pee Pants Pryor.

What? You can connect the dots on that one. Can you please share the story of how that came to be? Well, there was a pair of trousers one day. That is awesome. Oh, we got $5,000. It could be all yours next. It is the hits.

You got it, Jono and Ben. Five words for 5K. You're just five words away from $5,000. You know how it works. It's our Game of Word Association. We tell you five words. You tell us what pops into your head. And if all five words match with our five words, you win five grand.

Yeah, we head into the soundproof booth. And I don't know if you've noticed, Ben, around the building, there's other soundproof booths here. They're actually on all the levels, it's where we lock the anti-vaxxers in the business. Once a day, we kind of open the door, hold our breath, and chuck a piece of bread in there for them or something. I hope this hasn't made our soundproof booth self-conscious

because, you know, there was a time when it was the only booth in the building. Well, that's right, but now we're doing it every day here. Other booths. We'll get Tamaro on the show. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast, but now we're doing it every day. Other booze. We'll get tomato on the show. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast, Morena. Morena. How are you? I'm good, how are you?

Now you're up north, we understand. I am, yes, far north. How's everything up there this morning? Everyone all good? Yeah, good. Beautiful day. Has Omicron come for its summer tour up there? It's come to carry, but

everyone's staying safe. Ben, you were just saying your daughter can't go to school today because a lot of the teachers are close contacts. And they can't get relieving teachers at the moment at late notice. So there's a lot going on in New Zealand. It's everywhere. And I reckon there's a lot more

than is being reported because no one could probably be bothered sitting nine hours in a line to get tested. Yeah. Makes a lot of sense. So it's fun times. There's no arguing about that. But you'd think a lockdown

is probably the easiest way to navigate. Oh, but you can't go there again. No. Don't go. Okay, all right. I won't chuck that out there. I won't chuck that out there.

All right, Tamata, who do you want to chuck into the soundproof booth? Ben, please. All right. I'll head in there. All right. Tamata, who do you want to chuck into the soundproof booth? Ben, please. All right, I'll head in there. All right, we're going to lock him in the soundproof booth while he's gone. Juliet, steal his wallet and car keys. Oh, yeah, already on it, already done it.

This isn't actually a competition. It's just a huge scam to try and get Ben's stuff in a long play, but we've got there. All right, Tamata, let's do it. You know how the game works. First word that comes into your head if it matches with Ben, you win $5,000. When I say yes, what do you say?

No. You're going to go the opposite. All right. Yes. Wi-Fi, word number two this morning for you. Wi-Fi connection. Nice. Alpaca Alpaca

Llama Yeah no that's good He'll probably come out with like a Alpaca a lunch or something So no There'll be some pun answer there but let's hope he goes with llama Word number four bandage for you Tamara Bandage There'll be some pun answer there, but let's hope he goes with llama. Word number four, bandage for you, Tamara.

Bandage. Faster. Faster. Beautiful. Camouflage. Coming up the back. Camouflage. Hiding.

Hiding. Yeah, that's a tough word, camouflage. But those, you did pretty well. hiding hiding yeah that's a tough word camouflage but those you did pretty well you navigated your way through that better than we are this crazy pandemic we'll get Ben out of the soundproof booth to match five words with you jeez you came out of there in a hurry there Ben

what's that? you exploded out of the booth I'm ready to go I'm determined I'm like a natal I'm determined. All right. I'm like an athlete. 100 metres. Frothing on a Friday. All right, let's match your five words with Tamata's. Word number one was yes.

No. But I'll say yes to that. Well done. Wi-Fi. Wi-Fi is the second word this morning. Internet. That groan, that exasperated groan from Tamata means snow being. She said Wi-Fi connection.

Connection. Oh, of course, Wi-Fi connection, yeah. Okay, word number three, alpaca. We'll go through this. What would you have said for alpaca? Alpaca lunch? No He did! He did! What? He did!

We did think you were going to say that It's one of the few jokes I remember It's alpaca lunch I said you would say that I've said that as a gag, but I wouldn't have locked that in I would have said llama or something No, I'm too old, Tamara that as a gag, but I wouldn't have locked that in. I would have said llama or something. No, I'm too old, Tamata.

Bandage was the fourth word. Bandage. Plaster? Oh, and camouflage, which was a toughie for word number five. Camouflage? Army. Very close. Hey, Tamata, you played a wonderful game I tell you what

We'll send you out Some hell pizza You've been an absolute champion Thank you You can use it When you're I'll pack a lunch You can have some hell pizza

Enjoy Enjoy that Didn't quite work Grammatically But hey It's worth a shot Oh my goodness You know me too well

We've got some spy on the way Yeah a big actor And his wife Who they've got back together Five years after They originally split I'll tell you who it is next It is the hits You've got Jon spy on the way. Yeah, a big actor and his wife. They've got back together five years after they originally split. I'll tell you who it is next. It is the hits. You've got Jono and Betsy.

It's 52. Spy. Know what's up. Spy.co.nz. Strap on your N95. There's an outbreak of gossip. Juliet, what's up? So Jennifer Lawrence is officially a mom.

She's given birth to her first child with her husband, Cook Maroney. We don't know the gender or the name, but she's been quite private over the course of her pregnancy. Yeah, I didn't even know she was pregnant. No, yeah, she kept to herself. I don't know if you did see, but for the premiere of the movie Don't Look Up, she was standing in photos with Leonardo DiCaprio, and she was pregnant there looking amazing

amazing and that was kind of one of the few times apart from paparazzi photos here and there that people were able to see her pregnant They were just talking behind her back going has she put on weight probably No, but she was very obviously pregnant at that premiere of that movie

Can I just say I want to be pregnant to a guy called Cook Maroney. Cook Maroney. That does sound like a cool name, actually. Cook Maroney. Jeez, you wouldn't get a better name than that. Have they named the child? Did you say that?

No, no details about the actual child just yet. Because, I mean, Cook Maroney, if that's the benchmark of a name for the father, I mean, anything goes. You're like Blazer or Laser or something. I don't know. I'm chucking things out here. I'm sure they've got it nailed. They do. And Ben Stiller and his wife, I'm sure they've got it nailed. They do.

And Ben Stiller and his wife, Christine Taylor, they got married in the year 2000. They had two kids who are now 19 and 16. And then in 2017, they split up. But now five years later, they've got back together. Really? Yeah. And so this is kind of not something that's, I would say, really heard of, especially in the celebrity world. But they decided that this happened because of not something that's, I would say, really heard of, especially in the celebrity world.

But they decided that this happened because of lockdown, really. They decided it would be best if he moved in at the beginning of the pandemic so that they could both see their children in lockdown. And over the course of lockdown and the last couple of years, their relationship evolved. He said it's been wonderful. It's been unexpected, but they're all very happy. And it's, yeah.

What a beautiful story. Almost like a marriage sabbatical. It's been wonderful. It's been unexpected, but they're all very happy. And it's, yeah. It's awesome. What a beautiful story. Like almost like a marriage sabbatical. Yeah. But yeah, Bowdoin Barrett goes off to play in Japan. You go off to play in someone else, basically, when you take a marriage sabbatical. Yeah.

I guess so. I guess that's one way of describing it. You know, it's a beautiful story. Oh, one of the things I noticed out there, actually, listening right now is how that happened. You know, if you've broken up, you know, it's a beautiful story. I wonder if anyone else out there actually listening right now has had that happen. You know, if you've broken up, you've maybe even divorced

and then you've got back together some years later because it would happen. That would be so interesting. Yeah. The grass is not always greener. You hear that, John? You don't ever leave me?

I'm the desperate one, mate. Yeah, I mean, I suppose you go off and you have a hoon for five years and you're like, well, there's nothing. There's nothing.

You know, I may as well just stick with the person that I know and love the most. Totally. And they know each other very well after 17. Hopefully they want you back.

Yes. Hopefully they haven't moved on with the lovely new marriage. Yeah. If you have, if that's happened to you, 4487 on the text. Love to hear from you this morning. And that is your Spy Entertainment update for the South. For. If you have, if that's happened to you, 4487 on the text. Love to hear from you this morning.

And that is your Spy Entertainment update for the South. For more, you can head to thehits.co.nz. All right, Jono, jump in the car because you're off to do some good deeds, aren't you? Yeah. Surprise some people. Do I have to drive and talk at the same time? Maybe.

Yeah. I'll go hands-free. No hands on the steering wheel and just hands on the mic. All right, stick around. We've got some good deeds to do after eight. It is the hits. That person who didn't let you merge probably listens to a lesser radio station. Jono and Ben on the hits.

Bruno Mars, not sure if I'm meant to talk about Bruno. There's a gag that a few select people will get, but we're doing some good deeds. Juliet doesn't get it. We'll just keep moving on. Because Jono Pryor is in the car. He's off to do some good deeds. In fact, I think he's arrived.

Come on in, Jono. Come on down. Come on. I'm in live here right now. Thanks to modern technology. What an age we live in, Ben Boyce. I can harass people in real time, live on the radio, just as they're going about their day trying to fill up their cars.

So what's the plan? You want to go surprise and and delight is that the tactic this morning that's that was the tactic you know it's an industry term isn't using showbiz surprising and delighting yeah or as I like to say we're filling up tanks and filling up hearts today oh that's what that's what we're doing for 28 good deeds so I'm here at the the Gull Petrol Station which is uh... Oh, oh, oh, oh, hold on! Prank, prank life, hey? Prank, prank life. This is definitely a prank.

That is such a yarn time! Yeah, yeah. Alright, when you first do your prank, do you want to get back into it? Do you want to get back into it, or do you want to... Yeah, okay, ready to go? You all good to go? Okay, so what we're going to be doing is we're going to be surprising people as they're filling up their cars.

And we're going to pay for their petrol. Oh, that's not nice. Just a bit of radio drama there. I can see you trying to book some drama there. Yeah, it's good. So we're going to pay for their petrol. Oh, that's not bad. Just a bit of radio drama there. I can see you trying to book some drama there. Yeah, it's good. So we're going to be basically paying for people's petrol. Which is awesome. Which is going to be cost...

Oh, no, you go. No, no, you go. No, no, you go. Oh, jeez. I can't see you, so I went to... No, you go. Yeah, okay. Well, I was just going to say...

Oh, no, I forgot what I was going to say. No, so you go. What's there? I was going to say... Okay. No, we're paying for... say, I forgot what I was going to say now, so you go. What's there? I was going to say, no, we're paying for the... Okay, we seem to have a delay. Hello? The petrol's quite expensive right now, that's all I was going to say. So, you know, this is big. Hello, my good sir. How are you today? What's your name?

Stu. Steve, is it? Sorry, it's very loud in here. Stu. It's Stu. Stu, my name's John O. Hi, John O. I've heard you in the media character. Do you listen to the hits?

No. Did you say so? I can't hear Stu. He sounds like he's saying no. No, he definitely said no. Well, that's quite... Stu, we're live. Can you just say you listen to the hits?

We're live. I listen to the hits. There we go, Stu. Huge fan. Huge fan of the show. Well, Stu, do you know what we're doing through the month of February? You would because you're a big listener. Over 28 days of Feb, we are doing 28 good deeds.

Yeah. And I'm about to stick my pump into your bowser. We're going to pay for your petrol. I'll just pay for it. Just pay for it. Oh, okay. All right. All right. You trying to do something nice? Yeah. Backfired. Oh, okay. All right. All right, you try and do something nice.

Yeah. Backfired. Okay, well, Jono, we'll come back. You try and find someone you can actually pay for the gas with. Hold on. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, jeez.

And we'll see if we can actually do a good deed next, because this is not working out as we planned. We'll find out next. It is the hits you got, Jono. I'm in. Warning, this show contains references got Jono and Ben. Morning. This show contains references to Jono's baldness. Jono and Ben on the hits.

Filling up tanks, filling up hearts, Ben. That's what we're doing for 28 good deeds over 28 days. We're here at the night and day gull service station. Just wanting to pay for someone's petrol. But a lot of people prepay these days. So surprising them at the pump is a lot more difficult than it used to be in the 90s, Ben. Yeah. So far it hasn't worked out too well.

You tried to fool me with a prank that you got hit by a motorcycle coming in there, which we didn't quite fall for, did we, Juliet? No, no. We were like, oh, yeah, here we go. It sounded real until there was an unrealistic you're acting there that one down uh and then you found someone who didn't listen to the hits and it already paid for the gas i chalked that up as a roaring success so far so we're here for part two and the real do you want to know who the real winner is today who's that the environment the

fossil fuels that we're providing free fossil fuels fuels. Oh, right. I see what you're doing. So we're actually just waiting for the perfect. The perfect. I feel like a predator. Okay, I'm running up to a silver BMW. Hello, my dear lady. Hi, how are you? I'm good. What's your name? Marita.

Marita, my name's Jono, and we work for the Hits radio station. You'd know that because you're a big listener, aren't you? I think so. She thinks so. Yeah. That's good enough for me. You look like you're about to fill your car up with petrol. Yeah.

Yeah? Yeah, it's almost running on empty. I can see the gauge here right now. Marudy, do you know what I'm going to do for you? No. I'm going to pay for your petrol. No way. I'm going to do it.

We're doing 28 good deeds over 28 days. You stay in your car. Oh my gosh, that's awesome. Okay, just open up your tank and let me put it in there. What a gift. The gift of unleaded petrol. Oh wow. Unleaded?

Sorry, premium. Oh, she's gone. Oh, hang on, hang on Jono. Can we do premium? I was just going to put in 91. Oh mate, no, you've got to have premium. What's premium? Sorry, that's it.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh, hang on, hang on, Jono. Can we do premium? I was just going to put a 91. Oh, mate, no, you've got to have premium. Marita wants premium. Oh, shit. Sorry. Well, listen, the deeds don't stretch as far as premium. No, we can do premium for you.

Thank you. Thank you so much. And who's your favourite radio show? George. Oh, God. Hey, Marita. Again, I've had a shocker this morning, mate. I've had a shocker on the forecourt.

Can you just do that again? We're live at the moment. If you just go, Jono and Ben on the hits. Your favourite radio station? Jono and Ben. On the... You forgot the station name. Can you cut that off?

No, we can't. We're live. Marina, you're an absolute star. We'll fill your car up. Thank you so much. And we're going to take you inside for a free coffee, too, at night and day. No way. This has been an all-round experience.

I've done all the giving, and all you've done is said you've listened to Georgie P. Thank you, John and Ben. John and Ben, yeah, there we go. That'll do. That was close enough. We've had enough. End it now, Ben, end it. We're going to do more, but I think that's all.

Come back, man, come back. We're going to wrap it up there. It's the last time we get out of the studio and do something like that. It is the hits. You've got John and Ben. Coffee breath. John and Ben on the hits. Yeah, we like to do this on a Friday,

celebrate the fact that, you know, tomorrow we don't have any responsibilities. Ben, you don't have to look after your family. Don't worry about that. Don't have to pay your bills. Nothing. Let it all go on the weekend. Well, no, that sort of kind of ticks along.

But anyway, the weekend is, you know, is a time we normally look forward to. Yes, we understand there's a lot of heavy stuff going on in the world right now. But for a moment, we want to just kind of ignore that just for a second, just to kind of celebrate a weekend and try and be positive. It's not really a moment.

It's this whole radio show is we just ignore that. Oh, yeah. We go through life trying to smoke screen all the bad things going on. But I know it has been, you're having a good weekend because it's been like a lifelong dream of yours to become a cricket commentator. Now, maybe if you had spent less time on dreaming

about cricket commentary and more about radio, we might be in a better position right now. Yeah. Ever since we started here, you've wanted to commentate because the ACC, the Alternative Commentary, I always forget the third word. Collective. Collective is part of the business.

And for two years, like a puppy dog, has just been sending emails. I mean, I even got in there on your behalf as like an agent trying to get you into the squad. You did a lot of hard yards. They reluctantly let me on last weekend, and I think they were regretting it. I was excited about this weekend going to do some cricket commentary, but earlier in the show you got one of the fellow commentators,

Jason Hoyt, to critique my performance, and it started badly when you played him this. And Matt Henry, I mean, this pitch is looking greener than Chloe Soilbork driving an electric car, but we showed how to bat on it. And just cricket. Dead crickets from you guys. Nothing. Nothing back from my co-commentators.

Yeah. Well, you know, what I loved about that, though, is that you could see the effort that he put in, you know, and that he was taking it seriously, and good luck to him. I mean, sure.

Sure, it died horribly on here, but the reality is he gave it a shot. Yeah, so thank you. Like, I feel like I need to email them or something, like an overprotective parent. They gave you nothing, and I'm thinking, could they hear you in their headphones? Yeah, no, everyone could hear.

Everyone looked at me. They could look at me. They sort of smiled, but I don't know if it was just a polite smile. Yeah, right. I'm going to send an email. Don't send an email. At least acknowledge my little boy's comedy. No.

Nothing. Don't send an email. I'm sending an email, Ben. Don't send an email. Very protective over you. All right. What I love about it is we always joke about the sound effects of crickets when you say say a gag but there were literal crickets in the background

from the feed from the cricket ground yeah when you did the comedy commentary as well i know it was cricket so that one anyway uh i'm gonna be hopefully having a good weekend doing some commentary but why is your weekend gonna be better be better than mine or Jono's? 0800 THE HITS, 4487 on the text. We've got some prizes up for grabs and we will judge who's having the best weekend next on The Hits. I've been holding on to pieces. The Hits. With all the stuff going on, we're trying to bring a little ray of sunshine, a little bit of light on being positive just for a moment.

Yeah, who's having the best weekend? Maybe you're heading along to R&B, Rhythm and Beehive outside Parliament. Maybe you're a virus heading out and partying with thousands. Who knows? But you can call us right now on 0800. And Ben, we will judge it. It'll be like a competition and we will award, it'll be like

a primary school, you know, end of week assembly where everyone gets a certificate and they have to politely hold them in front of them. Yeah. Well, in this case, it's Hell Pizza. Now delivering beer and wine, Hell Pizza with contactless delivery. So let's decide who deserves some

Hell Pizza. Alright, we'll go to the phones. I know 800 is having the best weekend. Is it you? Sorry, I've lost my... There we go. I'm back now. Great broadcasting there. Sienna, welcome. How are you? Hi.

Good to have you on. You're from Tudua. Yeah. You're 10 years old and you reckon you're having the best weekend. Why? I've got cricket and I've got my dog training after that. Oh, awesome. What a weekend.

Cricket. That dog training. That sounds Oh, awesome. What a weekend. Cricket? That dog training, that sounds like my dream weekend, training my dog to get better and some cricket as well. Yep. Yep, well, he's got the body of a 10-year-old,

so maybe you and Sienna can switch places and she can come and do radio. Who knows? Sienna, that is a great entry for Best Weekend. You hold there. We'll go to Christchurch right now.

Good morning, Grace. How are you are you hello good to have you on you're having the best weekend grace yeah of course it's my birthday weekend my birthday's on tuesday so um i'm a twin as well so me and my twin are having a barbecue so yeah oh nice on the loose yeah i. I love the long run up you've given too. It's birthday week, so this weekend I'm going to get into it. Yeah, birthday week. Yeah, I love it. What? Because if I had to share my birthday, I need to have a whole week.

Yeah, it's going to turn into an event, doesn't it? Exactly. The celebration. Who's coming to the barb? Just some friends and family, yeah. Yeah, well, that's a good entry. Come on. Nice as well. Come to Christchurch. Oh, yeah. Oh, well, that's a good entry. Thank you, guys. Come on. Nice as well.

Come to Christchurch. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, you want us to come from Auckland to Christchurch? Yeah. Yeah, well, are we welcome there? I don't know if too many Aucklanders are welcome in Christchurch at the moment, but hey. Hey, hold there, Grace. Great entry.

We'll go to Melissa. Are you there? Yeah, hello. Good to have you on, Melissa. Why are you having the greatest weekend? We are on our way to Auckland from Levin to hopefully watch our little grandson be born. Our daughter's in labour at the moment.

Oh, that's exciting. She is in labour. God, can we call her? She will probably scream in the air. She wasn't in a good way when we called her before. Right, yeah, so perfect for radio. I won't make you call your daughter in labour. All good luck and a very exciting weekend ahead of you. Okay, thanks, Dave. Oh, salam.

There we go. Safe driving. Okay, Ben, you need to make the decision. Who's having the best weekend? Is it 10-year-old Sienna who's playing cricket and dog training, Grace from Christchurch who's having the birthday barb with her twin, or Melissa who won't put us through to her heavy-breathing daughter? Well, they've all come in first equal, Jono, today.

I know you'd be surprised at that. I've done a lot of complicated mass system, and they've all come up surprisingly first equal, so they all get hell pizza. That's my one bugbear with this show, is that everyone's a winner. Like, there's no, like, come on, we all, this is what's wrong with the world at the moment.

People lose, Ben. People lose, but not with you. like there's no come on this is what's wrong with the world at the moment people lose Ben people lose but not with you he just feels so guilty that anyone comes on air hey we'll send you out a prize you get a prize

everyone gets a prize he doesn't even know what the prizes are half the time we'll send you something out we'll flick you something out

hell pizza and I'm upset you get over this I'm just trying to give people prizes but you're getting really really upset about it

what's the point of the format that I've designed? Enjoy your weekend, whatever you're doing. And next, we're trying to get our head around phase three. What the heck does it mean? Well, hopefully we'll fill you in next on the Hits. If they were the internet, you'd want to clear this history. Jono and Ben on the Hits. You're on the Hits, Jono and Ben.

That's almost the end of our show. Don't forget, after nine o'clock, if you want to live free thanks to one roof an entire year of your rent or mortgage paid for the whole year then this is a song you lead to listen to after nine what a tune too eminem lose yourself uh yeah so when you hear that after nine o'clock just give us a call oh 800 the hits and you could be getting your rent or mortgage paid for an entire year thanks to Ron oneroof.co.nz and we're actually going to be doing it next week as well

in the morning so you've got a list between 7 and 8 we'll be giving you the chance to get that whole thing knocked off for an entire year your rental mortgage an amazing prize Ben boys take your hat off it's been a stellar week of broadcasting has it? It's been a week for the history books they'll look back on this week of Jono and Ben between Monday and Friday

and go, wow, that was another week of them saying words on the radio. Yeah, I don't know if that's quite going to happen in regards to us, but it's been a rollercoaster of a week. A lot going on, not just with the show, but in the world. Yeah, there has been a rollercoaster of the week. You're right. Now, next week, though,

we've got to look forward to Monday, Boomer Rumours, which we've started doing. Rumours from Boomers, this one involving the Queen. Is she still alive? We're going to go straight to Buckingham Palace with our UK reporter, Gavin Gray, or as Ben likes to call him, Gavin Gray. He's awesome, Gavin Gray.

Gavin Gray. Yeah, and so he's going to join us and just talk in particular about all the rumours that are happening every second day around the royal family. To do with Charles, to do with the Queen, to do with Harry and Meghan. Hello there. Meghan. Exactly. So Gavin Gray will join us on Monday.

We can't wait for that. But you have yourself a great weekend. We really, really appreciate you guys listening wherever you are. Be safe, and we'll catch you for Monday from 6. Jono and Ben. Brought to you by Resene, New Zealand's most trusted paint. Kiwi made since 1946.