Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: Jono's getting mocked for his new coffee order

Episode Date: June 15, 2022

We're down to the quarter finals for our Smell-Election. What smells will take it out? Jono's latest coffee order is seeing him mocked. Hint is it a fluffy cup? And Ben shared a hilarious story about his nieces saying 'cheers' at church. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits with the Jono and Ben podcast. Kia ora, 16th of June. It's Jono, Ben and Bill Crawford here as well. Welcome. Welcome, everybody. Oh, thanks for welcoming us to a place we've been to for hours. But welcome to the podcast. Now, what's your daily ritual?

My daily ritual is, you can never think what I'm talking about. My daily ritual is two cans of soda every morning. Two cans of... Shall we get you a soda stream? Sure, I can say that to him. We'll get a soda stream. I would, yeah, but I don't know if... I like the idea of it, don't get me wrong,

but I don't know if I would use it. Well, that's the thing. You get a bottle. Ben uses it. Yeah, and you just pump up the water first thing in the morning. You put the bottle in the fridge the night before if you want the water cold. And then you just put it in the thing and it's, yeah.

Oh, that's to do the parking. Yeah, no, that's a good idea. Okay, I'll get a show Show the street You don't have to You like your cans Well I do I tell you what I do like The rewarding end of show

When the cans You know when you used to At school You'd put the can on the ground And then you'd stomp on it With your foot And to get the perfect crush You just need to get it

Right in the middle of your foot That was a good one That was a good one You can have a look at that. Oh, that's a good one. Well, the other option is just water from a tap, I guess, is the other option. But hey, you don't have to have bubbly water.

Nothing more Auckland than bubbly water. I know. And I know there's judgment coming right now. There is. That's why I have to say it. Producer B-Hubs is here right now. I was just saying, it's good that you do clean up your cans after the show. Thank you. Did you see that email? Not now. I was just saying, it's good that you do clean up your cans after the show.

Thank you. Did you see that email? Not always. I did yesterday's. Did you see that? But you forgot. That's fine. Did you see that email

that went out about someone left an apple core in the studio? That's probably me. With two bits of chewing gum stuck on the end. That would be me. And he's getting all high

and mighty about it. I was just about to say, I'll forget as well. You forgot yesterday, I forget quite a bit. You look around, you're like, oh, jeez. I had my hands full with Jono's cans yesterday. But I do, from time to time, forget. Apple core with two bits of chewing gum.

Everyone was going in on the person. That would be me. Hard to approach an apple core with chewing gum on the end. Yeah, I know. From hygiene purposes for someone else. That's hard. But there aren't no bins in the studio.

So you've got to kind of, you know, so eat an apple mid-show and you know, you know. What was the, was there an email thread? Oh, no,

it might have actually been on the Facebook. Yeah, it was like, roll through some of the comments. What were they saying about the apple chewing gum combo? It was like, who was the cheeky monkey

that left this like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, It was like, who's the cheeky monkey that left this like, grok, like grok. I typically meant like, I made no bones about it. Yeah. That was 100% me. I didn't out you though. I didn't. Oh, you didn't? No, no one knew who it was. It was like,

who is the little monkey leaving this in the studio on a photo of it? Ooh. Looks pretty. Doesn't look good. At your spot. It's rant.

Yeah, it's simply me. And then it was like, and then someone commented a link to the Shaggy hit it wasn't me and then someone said ooh but that's a dentist dream right there though apple and gum whoever has the cleanest

he's got a clean mouth yeah good compliments compliments but at the same time and then Belle Crawford's throwing you under the bus here she said little monkey smiley face but that is revolting in capital Yeah. And then, well, Belle Crawford's throwing you under the bus. She said, little monkey, smiley face,

but that is revolting in capitals. So rank. I don't know. Hey, I didn't do it on purpose. I wouldn't do it on purpose. That's shocking form of me. And as I said before,

we all forget, I was just saying, yeah. Yeah. It's a wonderful combo though. It's wonderful. You just put the chewing gum inside, just the top with the core.

Yeah, you don't want to touch it. You don't waste any of your apple though do you like you really get it a lot I eat the whole thing well do you not me to eat the pips they've got cyanide in them

they've got cyanide I was reading the other day why would you eat the stalk the poison in the pips apparently if you have well you can get poisoned if you eat like 300 apples

in one session it's very minuscule oh yeah that was my dad John Pryor he was John Pryor. John Pryor was a big fan of nailing all cores.

Pear cores, apple cores. He's hardcore. So he passed it on to me. Every time I do it, people are like, what are you doing? I tell you what, you wouldn't have some cheeky thread being written about you. Yeah, that's true. If you ate the whole core. I've done that, that's for sure.

We're getting to the quarterfinals of our smell election today. The best smell as voted by you. And you had a lot of opinions. A lot of our big favourite smells have been knocked out of the competition. See if you agree when you hear it on the podcast.

If you're here for advice on life, you're in big trouble. Jono and Ben on the hits. We have a forecast today, hopefully. Bit of sunshine. Feels like it's calming down out here, doesn't it? Wild few days over the last week.

And as you said quite rightly a few days ago, it is winter. We've got to expect this sort of stuff. You know what I have come to notice through the drive-thru? Now, I want to front foot this and say the drive-thru is the greatest invention to the restaurant industry since they decided they could put food on plates. The drive-thru, just whoever came up with the drive-thru is just genius. But anyway, something I've noticed is, you know, usually there's like window one, window two. Right. Drive-thru to window one, pay.

Drive ahead to window two, collect. Get your order. But I don't know if it's just me but i'm finding that window one completely redundant now you're never driving to window one you look inside window one it's usually a storage facility for expired burger buns and boxes and probably some place where randy teenage employees get to third base or something it's always just drive through the window two yeah right because back in back in the day they just had one one one window right yeah and then they're like well let's go too but now they've decided we don't need two windows because you can do the transaction

and the food handover all at window two which was what we used to do back in the day maybe it was maybe we got a bit fumbly and slow you know with paying with cash and all that sort of stuff like this has taken ages maybe we need to sort of space things out or something. Well, maybe Ronald was like, why doesn't the same person who hands over the food also put out the EFTPOS terminal? Yeah, true. Why am I paying for someone extra to hold out their arm with an EFTPOS

terminal? Do you know, I had a very humbling experience at the drive-thru. I'm only thinking about this because I went to the drive-thru last night. And I pulled up to the speaker, and this is just a huge reflection on the intake of takeaways I have. They said, same again? No. Through the speaker box, same again.

And I was like, do you know what I want? And they're like, yeah, you want four fries and four cheese? And I was like, oh, dear God, how often do I come here? Wow. I got a same again. You're like a freak. They know my order. That is bleak.

That is a terrible reflection on my food intake. Scrolling through your feed. Alright, round here we call in the repair man because he's about to deal to some breaking news. Okay, over to you Ben. Breaking news boys. Well I said yesterday something was gone from

the internet after 27 years. Now the internet browser known as Internet Explorer, something we would have known. The big blue E. Yeah, we used many times to look up stuff over the years. Well, it's now gone. As of yesterday, Microsoft are no longer supporting it. They've got rid of it.

They've got their new Edge browser. They're trying to push everyone towards that right now. Oh, so they do have a new browser. Right, I thought they were just like, oh, Google's won this one. Yeah. To be fair, I was shocked when I heard this news, but then I was like, it was one of those situations where I was like, when was the last time I used Internet Explorer?

And I can't remember. Well, I guess it depends on what sort of software, if you're using Apple or if you're using Microsoft. But I know out in the office yesterday, someone was like, oh, I can't use Internet Explorer anymore. So they got a bit of a shock. It's obviously something on the work computers they're using. There's a whole work system on there.

So how's the work? Well, now they'll be using the Edge. Yeah, I've just opened it. You can use the new one? Yeah, you open up the tab and it's just Explorer instead, yeah. You can go to the new one as well. Yeah, so it now joins the likes of BlackBerry phones, dial-up modems, and Palm Pilots, according to this article, the RIP. Redundant technology.

The dustbin of tech history. What do you think has been the greatest, if you can look back on the last 20 years, the greatest invention? It doesn't have to be of recent times. I was reading something the other day about the guy who invented, who claims to have invented email. He was the first person to enter, and the first email he sent to himself. I was like, basically to test the system. Well, there was no to enter, and the first email he sent to himself, I was like,

basically to test the system. Well, there was no one else he could send an email to. No one else had an email address. Well, I guess it made sense. Of course he used to send it to himself. And then we told him

in the office, he's like, I got the state, mate. Wait with this. What's your email address? What? Yeah. I think cell phones.

I'd have to say cell phones are probably... Yeah, they're a game changer. They've given the transformation of them too since you first got them. But in terms of comms, amazing. Where would you be without your cell phone now?

Yeah, I remember being a kid and Dad forgot me to pick me up from netball and I had to walk home because he couldn't come pick me up because I couldn't text him to tell me to come get him. That's the thing. There's children at the 90s still waiting at school gates. Walk home. Yeah. That's right.

I was thinking about this the other day. In the rain. How would you communicate with someone if I was like, oh, Ben, I'm running an hour and a half late? You couldn't. I don't know how I would do that. You just had to be there on time. You couldn't just take yourself and go five minutes away when you're not five minutes away. But at least you're on your way.

And they're trying to encourage tourists back to New Zealand. Looks like they might be getting rid of pre-departure testing for travellers coming to New Zealand. Travellers at the moment have to get a negative test within 72 hours of arriving in New Zealand. So taking one before they leave. And in New Zealand they're trying to bring back more planes. How about this? But the cost of fuel is really, really expensive obviously.

We know about this. So a Dreamliner to fill up at the moment is about $90,000 US dollars. And that's how much it would cost to fill up between a flight between Auckland and LA. 90 grand? It used to be 42,000 US dollars in 2019.

So they're saying, hey, we're bringing back more planes but don't expect the prices of airlines to go back to where it was because of the cost of fuel and the limited amount of planes, I guess at the moment. Imagine they'd have to pull into the Zed's forecourt and fill up $90,000 of... Yeah, just for one flight between... I mean, it's a long flight, granted, but that's a lot.

Even the poor airline industry. They have just had nothing over the last two years. We were trying to book some flights yesterday and we're like, oh, they're very expensive. Of course they're expensive. Then Behemst was on the phone to grab a seat. You reckon we could do some free one? And they're like, oh, they're very expensive. Of course they're expensive. Yeah. Then Behemst was on the phone to grab a seat. You reckon we could do

some free ones? And they're like, free? Sorry, you want free flights? Have you read the news of what's been happening to us for the last 24 months? Yeah.

Poor airline industry. But yeah, I was saying the other day, a lot of the Air New Zealand planes are out in the desert, aren't they? Yeah. To recommission them

is like a three or four month process. It's good to see it's all starting to happen again, but it's not quite gone back to the level that we had it a few years ago. There's going to be a lot of planes just left in the desert. Yeah. It's Jono and Ben's

General Smell Diction. We're trying to decide on New Zealand's favourite odour, the smell that you love the most and we're putting it together at a head-to-head tournament, knocking out some big bangers today. Yeah, you know, we've got lots of pies and pie warmers, liniment and changing rooms,

some babies freshly showered and washed. So I was at the intersection yesterday and a guy was like, you know, doing that thing with his arm to wind down your window. He's like, Play-Doh! And it took me a while to comprehend why this guy in a truck like, Play-Doh! And it took me a while to comprehend why this guy in a truck was shouting Play-Doh at me. He's like, the smell of Play-Doh! And I was like, ah! And that's how big

it's getting, Ben. There's guys in trucks getting people to wind down windows and screaming Play-Doh at them. But yesterday's battles, there were a couple of big ones. First up, the winner out of bread, the smell of freshly baked bread, taking on liniment in a changing room.

Now, obviously, you can vote online for 24 hours as well, but romping home, it's been a romping. Bread, the smell of freshly baked bread. Yeah, it's pretty awesome, isn't it? You spoke to Raewyn, who works not in a bakery, but next door to a bakery. Yeah, because we thought if we rang a bakery, you're going to get the bakery propaganda. You're going to Raewyn, who works not in a bakery, but next door to a bakery. Well, yeah, because we thought if we rang a bakery, you're going to get the bakery propaganda.

You're going to get, oh, it's amazing. Oh, you know what the bakery industry's always doing? Yeah, all full of propaganda. So we're like, what is it like working next to a bakery? Is the smell amazing? Does it wear off?

Have a listen. Well, to be honest, like I've worked in town for a long time. I've only been in this store for like six weeks, but it's very, very tempting. It's not good for the waistline, and everything smells terrific. I can imagine too, you'd walk out of the store, you're like, oh, I've

got to go in there and get something. Yeah. And usually on a cold day like this, it's a pie. It's a pie. Well, because that's one of the, obviously the bread, freshly baked bread is a great smell, but would you say that's better than a pie And the pie warmer

Or would both be about the same Oh no the bread Would be the top Yes no bread There you go Lovely Raewyn there So bread's gone through There were the other

Battles we had yesterday We did have Play-Doh Taking on popcorn And sadly for that Truck driver friend Popcorn The smell of popcorn Went through

Popcorn at the movies Very distinctive flavour You know Ben Boyce Belle You've worked here for a few weeks now You know he's a tight ass He takes his own popcorn to the movies Well I did for a while And then my wife told me off

And I can't do it anymore My boyfriend takes his own snacks too To the movies Yeah it reminds me of when I was a kid And mum would be like You know if we couldn't You've got to come to the movies You've got to bring your own snacks

It was expensive Now that I notice they have signs so you can't bring outside food in. Every time I go past, the kids go, Dad. And they tap the sign. And I'm like, hey, I've got nothing today. They sneak in contraband into the movie. I've got nothing today because I've been told off for a while. It's like prison. I have to get popcorn when I go to the movies.

It's just one of those things you've got to get in a frozen or a Coke or something. Yeah, damn right. So that smell's gone through. And also the odour of coffee was taking on a pie and a pie warmer. Coffee, again, another romping. Yeah, surprisingly this one. I thought the pie smell might go through, but the smell of freshly brewed coffee in the morning is one that Kiwis love more.

So many votes for this. So many people calling up. So we do appreciate all of the correspondence. We spoke to Olivia Jessler, who's in New York, and she's like a smell expert. And we're just asking her why people are so hooked on smells. And she had a couple of smells that can help you out in your day-to-day. Smell rosemary while you study and then smell it again.

You're able to retrieve those memories much better and faster. And it's also really good for concentration tasks, problem solving and concentration. So rosemary is a really good one for that. What about happiness? Happiness, so things like citrus, like an orange. There's a component in the orange that we test it all around the world. And this is actually people will self-report that they feel like in a happier mood. But in general, actually, any smell that you have positive associations with or smells from your childhood, if you smell those or even think about them,

this can reduce your breathing and make you feel calmer. Spy. Know what's up. Spy.co.nz These famous faces brought you in association with their partner's Botox. And my famous face brought you in association with ageing wrinkles.

Life. Life wearing me down. Bell, what's happening in Spy, mate? Adele's boyfriend, Rich Paul, says he wants more kids. Now, he's been with Adele

for a year. He already has three kids and talked about the possibility of having more in an interview. Have a listen to this. But I appreciate the experience that I had as a very young dad, but I'm also looking forward to being a different dad, a more patient dad.

I guess because he was hustling his business. He's a sports agent, so he probably wouldn't have been around a heap. So he's wanting to do it again and, you know, be able to be around a bit more. Have a second burst. So what do you reckon would be the ideal number of children? If you were going to procreate, okay, you're starting again, Ben. The slate's wiped clean. What would you say?

I'd be very happy with having two. But, you know, like I guess the more kids you have, the more, I mean, the more costs and everything lines up. Yeah. Right. Yeah. My wife would definitely love to have another one. Were you pumping the brakes on a third?

Yeah. Yeah. Did you ever want to go for a boy? You've got two girls. No, but I'm really happy with, you know, like, yeah, wouldn't have it any other way. Generally, when the father's like, I want to go for a boy, they end up with a third girl. Or twin girls or something. Well, my dad wanted a fourth, and my sister was 10 pounds,

and mum was like, get stuffed. I'm not having a 12-pound baby. So three was it. That's a big baby. That's a big old baby. It's amazing when you talk about celebrity parents. I just saw a little clip yesterday of Jay-Z and his daughter, his fiancee's daughter, Blue Ivy, at the basketball.

And they were courtside Jay-Z, and everyone's like, Jay-Z's the daughter, his fiance's daughter, Blue Ivy at the basketball. And they were courtside, Jay-Z, and everyone's like, Jay-Z's the coolest person in the world, obviously. And he's on the big screen. He sort of puts his arm around her

and she's like, oh, Dad. Oh, yeah, I saw that. Yeah, and it's amazing.

She's like, not on the big screen, Dad. And he's like smiling, going, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like Jay-Z, one of the coolest people in the world, but for Blue Ivy, it's just another embarrassing dad. Yeah. An embarrassing dad who, everything he does ends up on a big screen. And he's got court-sized tickets at the NBA Finals. Yeah, great stuff.

Speaking of dads, Charlie Sheen is blaming his ex-wife, Denise Richards, after their daughter, Sammy, has joined OnlyFans. Now, Sammy's 18. She was living with Charlie for a time, but she's since moved back in with Denise. And Charlie's been very quick to point out, this didn't happen under my roof, and he's blaming Denise. So he's not condoning it, but he's urging her to keep it classy

and not sacrifice her integrity, which I thought was quite rich coming from Charlie Sheen, you know, all up in arms about his daughter doing OnlyFans, but then, you know, look at his checkered past. I know, let's do Charlie a favour and delete any stories from the internet from about 10 years ago. He had some wild times, didn't he? He did.

He had that sort of 6-12 month period where he was on a whole other level. We talk about having tiger blood and all sorts of stuff. Remember that? Oh, it was great for radio shows. Don't get me wrong. We were playing so much of it.

Yeah. It was like live streaming everything. Intriguing. He was doing live tours and all sorts, wasn't he? Yeah. You wonder how much was an act or how much was actually, he just, you know, if he ran with it, he was like, oh, people think I'm, you know, you've got to roll with your performance, don't you?

I understand. Well, that's incredible. Only fans. Now, I've never been on Only Fans. Is it all just... Oh, there we go. Well, I tried to log in for my account. That's not doing much.

Is it all just... After the creator. Is it my account. That's not doing much. Up to the creator. So it's not all sexual? No, no. I mean, some of it is, but it's up to the creator on what they want to do and for their subscribers. I think it's, like, cool. People can do what they want. Absolutely.

So what's she doing? Is she doing sexy stuff? Well, she's 18. It seems tasteful at this stage. I haven't looked at it, but she's been promoting it on her social. So while this is all happening and Charlie's getting all this press, she's being, I'm like, as entrepreneurial as she is, this is good. She's using the time to really market and get her subscribers up

and make some bank. Well, I'm doing tasteful stuff on there as well. All tasteful stuff. Ben, you've been a part of those shoots. Yeah, they're very tasteful. Got a soft mood lighting and everything. It's great. Tasteful.

I mean, if you want me to do more, I'm willing to push boundaries. But at the moment, I'll keep it classy. Keep it tasteful. This is the Jono and Ben podcast. Wall-to-wall talking without the niggly popular songs in between. There's a brand new Kiwi comedy in cinemas today. It's called Nude Tuesday. It's a bonkers idea.

It involves a couple who go to a nudist retreat to save their marriage. So there's the nudity there. But the entire movie is in gibberish with subtitles. It's wild. It is wild. And we're joined in the studio by the creators, Jackie Van Beek, who stars in the movie, and Amand Ballantyne, who directs the film as well. Welcome to the show.

Yeah, nice to see you too. Lovely to see you, guys. Now, this concept for this film, I remember when I first saw the trailer, I sent it to Ben, I was like, this is high concept stuff. It's incredible. So let's tackle the nudity first,

because obviously it's called Nude Tuesday. So it features a little bit of nudity. Well, it features nudity on the Tuesday. Right. Yeah. In fact, we had a mate come to it. We had our cast and crew, and I invited a mate, a guest, to come along.

And his comment afterwards, he said, I thought there'd be more nudity, Jack. I was like, no, no, no. But what did you think of the story? And he was like, yeah, I liked it. I liked it. I really liked it. Because obviously, you had Jermaine Clement from Flight of the Conchords. You've got Chris Parker as well.

Yourself, Jackie. I mean, when does the nudity conversation come into the actors for their roles? Oh, it came in before they took the roles. Didn't they? Didn't you spring that on you? We were like, we'll just let you know before you audition for this that there is nudity. But with a name like Nude Tuesday, you're probably going to think that. You're going to assume it, but you just don't want to kind of like suddenly spring that on an actor.

Yeah, day one, off with the kit. Go on, guys. There was a lot of chat about, from the actors, you know, about what kind of nudity. Like, you know, we were really transparent. We're like, it's full frontal, but there'll be no crash zooms into genitals. It's not that movie.

We're not going to hide you behind a pot plant and then pop you out. It's like very kind of more European. Like, you know, I mean, Amman and I watch so many kind of, as we all do, European and Scandinavian films where nudity is just so normalized. And so we wanted to do that. And that's what we've done.

So talk us through the concepts of the movie. Well, the concept of the movie is like it's like a regular narrative. Like it's about a very repressed kind of suburban couple who flailing marriage. And they, as a kind of last ditch attempt to save their marriage, they go to this new age retreat. And so that's the concept that Aman and I worked on for the first year. And then I had an idea, because we were looking at themes of miscommunication

and misinterpreting. You guys know what it's like, a long-term partner. I was like, I didn't say that. What do you mean by that? I didn't mean that. We need to go to a retreat, don't we? The two of us, that's for sure. I seriously recommend it.

Aman and I did. Aman and I did, yeah. Did you actually go to a retreat? Oh, yeah. It was confronting, yet enriching. Did you actually go to a retreat? Oh, yeah. It was confronting yet enriching. Was it a nudist retreat? There was nudity within the retreat, yeah. That was our research.

Anyway, so going back to the process, we were watching a lot of films back then, and then I came up with this idea. I said to Aman, given that we're dealing with miscommunication and whatnot, what if all of the actors speak in gibberish? What if we all speak a nonsense language so no one can understand anybody?

And then we can get comedians from around the rest of the world after we finish the film to write the subtitles. And so we can have like one picture but many different versions so we can have people interpret it. Which is genius. So, you know, the movie that's going to be released here is a completely different subtitle to the UK version. So it's a whole pretty much a made-up language as such,

but you rehearse it in English, I understand, and then perform it in sort of just a made-up tone. So obviously the actors kind of know what they need to do in each scene. It was so important for the emotional arcs of the story to come, you know, for everyone to know what was happening to their character, you know, so we rehearsed and rehearsed emotionally and rehearsed with Jackie's wonderful original script that we'll never read. So you didn't write it in gibberish?

I spent four years writing the script and I wrote all of the English dialogue knowing that nobody would ever see or hear. It was great for rehearsals though so it was well worth it and then we'd flip into gibberish and improvise the gibberish. We'll show you. Say something, Iman.

Say something in English. Anything. Jackie, you're fantastic most of the time. Jackie, I'm very good at saying the right things in English.

Ah, that is very good. But you still get the gist. Yeah, once you kind of know. And Jemaine Clement are obviously very, very funny. But you still get the gist. Yeah, once you kind of know. And Jemaine Clement, obviously very, very funny. It's awesome to see him in the movie. But did he get hypothermia? Was that true? Mild hypothermia.

Mild. Health and safety are listening. He very generously, he's so committed as an actor. And he came out and he did it twice. He went into an icy pool an icy pool twice nude and he came up

and he said do you want me to do it again should I I could do it again and we were like no thank you that was brilliant and I think that was

the difference between mild hyperthermia and hyperthermia full fatality but just when you think every movie's ever been made you guys have come up with one that I've never

heard of you know before which is awesome which is such a credit to what you been made, you guys have come up with one that I've never heard of before, which is awesome, which is such a credit to what you've done. Thank you. People kind of play with this like it's quite a playful concept, and people do do stuff online, of course, with the dubbing and the lip syncing and the memes and the rewriting people's. We've just done a whole feature with a whole emotional arc as well.

And nudity as well. Just on the Tuesday, Ben. Just on the Tuesday, sorry. Getting hung up on the nudity part. Well, congratulations, guys. It's going to be enormous. So good luck for the ride. Yeah, thank you.

Thank you. Thanks for having us. It's great here. Jackie Van Beek and Amand Valentine from Nude Tuesday. Yeah, and cinemas today. It is the hits. You've got Jono and Ben. We apologise in advance.

Jeez, sorry. Sorry about that. Sorry you got roped into this. Jono and Ben. We apologise in advance. Jeez, sorry. Sorry about that. Sorry you got roped into this. Jono and Ben. Sorry. On the hit. Ben. Yeah, we just spoke to Jackie Van Beek and Amman Ballantyne,

who created Nude Tuesday, a Kiwi movie that's out today. Someone's just texted, and they noticed something at the end of the interview. Now we've outed you as a proud mumbler. I do like mumbling from time to time. He's a mumbler who kind of just mumbles his way through, and over the years I've kind of learned to decipher it and understand a new language and understand your gibberish. And at the end of the interview, we were saying goodbye to the pair of them,

and I just want you to tell me what you were trying to say here. Thank you. Thanks for having us. Oh were trying to say here. Thanks so much. Thanks for having us. It's great here. It's great. No, it's great here. Are you saying it's great here? Are you saying, well, what were you aiming for?

I mean, it's great here. Like, mate, you know, if anyone's asked me for management, it's great here. Oh, look, I trailed out. I trailed out, to be honest. What were you hoping? Like, where did you, at the start line, what were you like, this is what I'm going to say? Probably it was great having you here. And then I sort of trailed out because the interview was over.

I can tell everyone was starting to leave and stuff. So I just kind of went, this is great. And you're like, this will never make it to it. And it did. So thank you very much for your text there, Jeremy04487. Hey, I've noticed a new technique when it comes to comms on the old texting. The scattergun texter Do you ever communicate with someone and this was with

Guy Williams who we used to work with he was texting me and they come in installments so he'll fire through so a message that could be tidily wrapped up in one condensed message comes through in 7-10 installments.

Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. One after the other. I haven't even got the chance. It's like a busy road I'm trying to take a right turn out of. Well, sometimes I find with a scattergun is you're trying to reply, but they've already got another one. You're like, you need to go back to that one to reply to that one. It makes it tricky.

Are you a scattergun, Abel? No, my sister does that and it's so full on. You have like 10 messages and you're like, oh, here she, i know it's her because it's like here she goes yeah yeah it seems but being on the on the other side of the fence you are a novel you're a novelist longer this is just like one big long blue speech bubble that scrolls down for about 10 minutes because i notice sometimes because i text uh you know through my computer and that's where you know because it's easier to type in and stuff like that. You're like, da, da, da, da. And you send it away.

You're like, oh, that was a long one. That got away with me. Yeah. Because you don't notice it because you're doing it from your computer to someone's phone. Listen, I'm not guilt free when it comes to texting either. You're all caps. You're all caps. I'm all caps.

And I'm a typer and talker at the same time. So when I'm typing the text, I'll be like, hi, Ben. How are you today? And I was thinking, I annoy myself doing that. Is it annoying when I'm talking and typing? Oh, yeah. We zone you out.

We get rid of you. You also tried the voice, voice the text application. Voice memos are game changers. On all the voicemail, he would do the ones where you basically record your voice and then they would kind of transcribe what John O was trying to say in a message.

You mean Siri? Yeah, well, it's kind of, you know, 70% understands the New Zealand accent. So sometimes you send off some quite wild stuff. Unintentionally, too. Yeah, Ben, I've made many suggestive texts that we're meant to just be sure we meet up for a coffee. I was like, meet up for a hookup and a coffee and stuff like that? There's all sorts of stuff going on. You blame it on that anyway. And your dad, he frustrates you too when you

type one of your novel texts and he just sends back a thumbs up. A thumbs up! Yes! Or a K. Yeah, K! That's a classic dad thing. Oh, K, yeah. John Owen Ben's Rush for Gold with George Ezra. George Ezra's got a new album called Gold Rush Kid.

And every day at 7 o'clock this week, we give you a chance to rush for gold. Register at the hitstock.co.nz and listen at 7 o'clock. If we have someone waiting outside your house, you're the name that they call out, you have to rush out within 60 seconds and claim your money. It's jackpotted to $1,200 today. Now we're saying how lovely George Ezra is yesterday. How wonderful. Like you'd take him home to your mum

and your mum would divorce your dad and fall in love with George Ezra. That's how nice he is. And he's so generous. He's given us this. Like he's recorded an album. He's already done a lot. Now he's giving us money to give away to you.

That's the charity, the charitable heart of this gentleman. So far we've struggled to give away the money. That's why it's jackpotted. Yeah, thus far, Monday, Tuesday, we've workplace bullies, poor young promotional people who get up first thing in the morning and weirdly stalk outside listeners' houses. Logan, day three of this. Firstly, apologies for getting you up at such an early hour, Logan.

No, that's okay, that's okay. It's quite a beautiful morning here. Now you're in Ruakaka, Northland. Population, not even 3,000? No, pretty small up here. Hear some dogs barking in the background. Is that at you? I know. It's at

the address actually, so if they're not awake already, the dog will be waking them up. So that's maybe a good sign that they might be awake. What's the name of the person whose house you're outside? So we've got Sarah Simperingham this morning. Sarah who, sorry? If you're awake, Simperingham.

Sarah Simperingham, 60 seconds to get up, out of bed, put a dressing gown on and get outside and get your George Ezra ticket starts now. All right, come on, Sarah. If not, I want you to give them to the dog, put the tickets, put the money in the dog's mouth. I know. What sort of dog are we looking at there, Logan?

Oh, it's a cute little black one, but it looks absolutely terrified of us. Any sign of lights or anything else going on in the house? No, no lights on. Is it good? It looks like, oh, yes, we've got someone looking out the window. Oh, come out, come out. Come on, you've got someone looking out the window oh oh come out come out oh my goodness are you here are you there yeah you got 35 seconds jump on out how many seconds she's running she's running get out here sir 1200 bucks on the line thanks

to george ezra just woken her up i think think here she comes. Sarah. Sarah. The whole family. Morning, Sarah. How are you? We've got 14 seconds. 14 seconds. Sarah is here. Hello, Sarah.

Stop the clock. Where are you running off to? Where are you taking us? No, you're on the phone. On the phone. We'll put you on with Jono and Ben. Sarah. Here we go.

I'll pass you over. Sarah, it's Jono and Ben here. Morning. Morning. Sorry for waking you up, but it's for good reason. You registered for George Ezra's new album. It's called Gold Rush Kid. You've got $1,200.

What? Are you joking? What a way to wake up, sis. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my God. Thank you so much. A lot of commotion outside your house this morning. Barking dogs, promotional vehicles, $1,200 cash. There's a lot.

Have you just woken up? I have just woken up. Like, literally just woken up. Yeah, well, this is... I'm late, son. What a way to wake up and start a Thursday. Weird question to ask, but what have you got on right now? A dressing gown?

What's going on? Yeah, a dressing on right now? A dressing gown? What's going on? A dressing gown. Okay. A dressing gown. Yeah. And the dog, what sort of dog are we looking at there? A little black dog. Oh, a little lamb.

Well, congratulations. There's $1,200 to start your day. Apologies about the early wake-up call. No, that's awesome. Thank you so much. Oh, good. I think we've woken up the whole of ruakaka this morning there we go another chance say it was more fm another chance tomorrow morning at seven o'clock it goes back to four hundred dollars but still a lot of money all thanks to george ezra's new album gold rush kid his third studio album you can get it wherever you can get good music

it is the hits you got got Jono and Ben? Scrolling through your feed. Around here, we call him the human newspaper, mainly because he's about as heavy as one. Ben Boyce, what's going on? Big Super Rugby final taking place Saturday night in Auckland, and it is sold out between the Blues and the Crusaders, which is pretty awesome.

The first fixture to sell out at Eden Park since the Bledsoloe Cup test last year. But after all the COVID restrictions over the last few years, it's great to see a packed stadium for local rugby. Oh, phenomenal. I mean, when was the last time

the Blues are going to get out on the field and go, when? Who are these people? They haven't been turning up for the last five years. 2003 was the last time the Blues won the competition. Yeah, so it's a long time ago.

But it's awesome to see them turn around things and to have people going along. It's amazing. Congratulations to them. The Crusaders, obviously, was probably a given they were going to be there as well. They always seem to be there or thereabouts.

Yeah, but a sellout. You've jumped on the bandwagon over the last couple of weeks. I'm going abort tickets this week, you'll be pleased to know. Abort tickets to go along and take the kids along. You somehow mooshed your way into the CEOs. Two weeks in a row did you go to the CEOs corporate box last week

different box mate different box nah you wait he'll be in a corporate box in three weeks I know I'm going to like downgrade with the kids

the kids are dragging he's corporate now he's sold out to the men but nah looking forward to it it should be fun yeah no it's great and well done to

I mean rugby's going to be the winner at the end of the day, isn't it? Well, that's what, yeah, as well as one of the teams. Yeah, well, probably, hopefully, one of the teams. Yeah. Won a result.

A lot of people talking this week about New Zealand's relationship with alcohol after Paddy Gower's documentary. Two nights it's been on TVNZ. They had the documentary, sorry, TV3, sorry. They had the documentary the first night and they had a panel discussion.

We had Paddy Gower in the other day. He was talking about how he was sort of having to face up to his relationship with alcohol. You know, I've been a pretty big boozer and I've had a good time. I've partied a lot. We do a scene where I'm meant to get boozed and or I think I was meant to get merry, right? Yeah. And actually just I completely overcook it and get way too boozed for the shoot. Actually, you know, if there's anyone out there

who really wants to think about their drinking, you know, film yourself for a few hours with a HD camera and a sound crew. Really? Because you really see a different side of yourself. Are you like, that's not me when you're watching yourself? Well, I must admit, I was like, I didn't realise I looked like that when I was drunk, you know? I was like i didn't realize i looked like that when i was drunk you know i was like do i really come across like that but that led me to have a really kind of

hardcore conversation with one of my mates you know corin dan and he confronts me in the doco it's pretty a pretty amazing way he's done to sort of put himself out there and sort of shine a light on well i think a lot of kiwis would be sort of watching that because as he said you sort of think about people with problems and obviously there's you know there's those horrible things and they happen to families and stuff where people have problems they end up in sidewalks and all sorts of stuff but for him he was functioning and going to work and stuff i think that's probably the majority of drinkers in new zealand i mean you refuse to watch the documentary because you didn't want to feel guilty. That's what you said.

I've got enough things to feel... You'll enjoy having a couple of drinks in the weekends. I've got enough things to feel guilty about in my life. I don't need another one. But yeah, I watched the discussion last night. They had a wide range of guests that he was speaking with. Butterbean from BBM, who was on Dancing with the Stars.

Kieran Reid, former All Black captain. Nano Girl. Michelle Dickinson was on there as well, and just listening to their conversation about how accessible alcohol is to everyone in New Zealand. Wild. I think over 14,000 outlets across New Zealand you can access alcohol from, and Butterbean was saying a lot of them

placed in the poorer areas across the country where he was saying, I think in Mangere alone, there's sort of 14 in just sort of one suburb. So the access to it is an interesting one. And the culture as well, too. A lot of discussions about that. They're talking about the six o'clock swill that used to happen where people would leave work

at five o'clock and then the bars would all shut at six. And so that encouraged a lot of people to get straight in the bars, buy up large and drink really quickly and i think that sort of added to you know to the culture of of binge drinking yeah i mean i like it at the end of the week but then now i'm starting to feel bad after watching this bloody documentary now i'm gonna have to drink to forget about the documentary i don't know if that was the point of the documentary but some interesting discussions we're having around and that's done the right thing.

And they're great to have too because now having kids you're like oh dear God if they do half the stuff that you know what we got up to. Half the nightmare.

Oh a nightmare. Like I just yeah you want to keep them hidden away. It's Jono and Ben's General Smell Diction. The best smell as voted by you. We're about to rip into another round, aren't we?

It's been a fun little journey so far. Yesterday we filmed a social media video, Ben Boyce. Why do you sound older when you say a social media video? Apparently they tell me it's taken off. On the Facebook. We'll put it on the Facebook. Basically Ben was blindfolded and I had all of our finalists' smells, and I put them under his nose, and he had a freshly washed baby,

smell of KFC cooking, bread cooking, smell of freshly cut grass and stuff. And we filmed it at producer Bee Hump's house. By the end, it was just an orgy of odours. It was overpowering by the end, it was just an orgy of odours. So much. It was overpowering by the end of the shoot, wasn't it? Amazing, though, when you bring up the smell. So I was blindfolded. You're like, oh, yeah, that's definitely KFC.

These are iconic. It's like, does your house now smell like petrol and Play-Doh? All your favourite smells brought together. Now, we're about to kick into this round. Have a listen. Round four, KFC. Thank goodness for Kentucky Fried. Versus rain on the pavement.

Well, I didn't actually think rain on the pavement was meant to go through. No, fired off. We're after right now, the next round is firewood, freshly cut firewood versus KFC. So you need to put these through on 4487 0800. The hits is the telephone number. I was just looking into firewood, which smells magnificent too when it's burning. Did you know your classic residential open fireplace, Ben Boyce,

for an hour of burning wood generates more than 4,300 times more carcinogenic toxins than 30 cigarettes. Do you know that? Oh, that's not good. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Don't. It'd be unhelpful for your lungs. Jeez, not good. I'm going to do a Jono Pryor on fireplaces.

Like Pettigrew on a boat. Jeez. Start the conversation. Wow. Yeah, so that's coming through. You can text 4487 whether you like the smell of freshly cut wood or KFC. So it's the smell of deforestation or the smell of de-chickenation. Now, I went around the office yesterday to find out what some people thought.

Definitely KFC. Oh, just the smell of the greasy chicken and the chicken salt, you know? Freshly cut firewood. I love freshly cut firewood. Nothing like just cutting the wood on the farm when I was younger. KFC. Aren't you a vegetarian? Yeah, but it's what I would risk it all for.

That's my number one. If I was to not be vegetarian, KFC, I'm there. Firewood. KFC, without any doubt. Oh, I'm a vegan, so I'm going to say freshly cut firewood. I'm going to go freshly cut firewood. Takes me back to when I was a kid. KFC, because it's delicious. Oh, hands down, freshly cut firewood. Takes me back to when I was a kid. KFC. Because it's delicious. Oh, hands down, freshly cut firewood any day of the week. Oh, I'd say freshly cut firewood.

It's more comforting. Yeah, I love the smell of fresh wood. KFC, hands down. KFC, any day. KFC, for sure. The chicken and the fries have that special seasoning. It's different, very distinct. Freshly cut firewood.

Firewood. There we go. Those are the Vox Pops, as they call them in the industry. That's what the people on the street are saying, Ben boys. Split 50-50 at this stage. So we need your vote. 0800 the hits. What are you going to go?

What are you going to advance through to the quarterfinals of the smell action? It's Jono and Ben's general smell election. We're getting towards the business end of our competition to find out what is New Zealand's favourite smell. At the moment, we're in the middle of a big round between the smell of KFC and the smell of freshly cut fireworks. It's captured the imagination of a nation, Ben. I know there's a lot of talk about Paddy Gow getting on booze.

More talk about the smells, are there? No, no, no, no. They know there's a lot of talk about Paddy Gow getting on booze. More talk about the smells. Are there? No, no, no, no. They're never a panel discussion on our smells. But maybe they will next week. Who knows? Panel discussion. The conversation continues next week.

That's right. Two nights. Two nights. Kim, you're on from Tudor. How are you, mate? All right? Good, thanks. How are you, guys?

It's lovely to hear your voice, Kimbo. Welcome to New Zealand's breakfast. What are you voting for, freshly cut firewood or the smell of KFC? Oh, definitely the smell of KFC. Smells so good, sinks like a stone. It does smell amazing. God knows what's happening inside. But it's incredible, the smell.

Hey, thanks to Kempis Warehouse. We're going to hook you up with a bottle of CK1, so you can smell amazing too. Awesome, thanks. Now, where's your local KFC in Tudor?'re going to hook you up with a bottle of CK1 so you can smell amazing too. Awesome, thanks. Now where's your local KFC in Tudor? You go to Thames, would you? Thames, yeah. Does it waft over from Thames?

Oh yeah, not quite that far but when you're next door at Pack and Save you can smell it. Yeah, beautiful. Love it. So we're all just, you know, it's like that thing with the dogs where they just are attracted to the smell of sausages at a butcher.

It's like that for humans. It's like they just must pump it out just so you go like, oh, KFC, you feel like KFC. It's a great thing. I reckon. Yeah. Let's go to Karen on from Auckland. Welcome to you.

How are you, mate? Hi. Yeah, good. KFC. Are you doing KFC or freshly cut firewood? What are you putting through to the next round? KFC. Yeah. Wewood? What are you putting through to the next round? KFC. Yeah.

We understand you have a personal connection. Well, yeah. Like a few years ago, I used to go to the Weight Watchers meetings down in Balmoral. And like you'll be walking through the car park and the smell of KFC was like washed across from the corner. That's on Weight Watchers. Like, move location. You couldn't think of a word. A thousand points.

Yeah, sometimes you don't. Afterwards, we'll just move across that. You'd miss a couple of meetings. Hey, we're going to hook you up with a bottle of CK1. Thanks to the chemist's warehouse there. The real house of big brand fragrances. Let's get Mitch on from Wellington. Welcome, Firewood KFC, the smell action, Mitch.

Thank you. Sorry, it was a weird intro from me. But a perfect response from you. What would you like to vote for and what's your favourite smell? I'd have to go with Fruity Car Firewood. Oh, you're going against the KFC, okay. Yeah, changing it up. Why, Mitch?

What is it for you? Oh, it's just, I used to always do it on a Sunday morning, and it would be nice cold mornings, and freshly cut firewood would always just be good to smell, you know? Yeah, there's enough to smell. Yeah, he's got a childhood connection. Yeah, that's the thing. A lot of smells, the nostalgia thing is a great thing for smell. Well, we spoke to a smell expert in New York.

Have you heard of New York, Mitch? Have you heard of that place? Yeah, I have heard of it, but I've never been there. Yeah, no, we spoke to someone from New York yesterday. She was a smell expert, and she said even if you think of the smells from your childhood, it puts you in a happier place. Yeah. So you just think.

Yeah, well, that's sort of what I work with. Yeah, well, I appreciate your call. Mitch, we're going to hook you up with a bottle of CK1 as well from Chemist Warehouse. Enjoy. Thank you. Good on you, mate. More voting after 8 o'clock.

The voting lines for that round are going to be open until this time tomorrow as well. Then we're hitting the finals, Ben. Five words for 5K. You're just five words away from $5,000. It's a game of word association we played every morning at this time on The Hits. Let's try and match up five words to give someone

$5,000. Tanya Gisbon, welcome. How are ya? Hi, good morning, Thursday. How are you? Good morning, Thursday. Yeah, I said good morning to Thursday, didn't I? It was a bit weird, but anyway, I tried not to bring it up, but Tanya obviously did. Tanya, we'll talk about this in the post-show meeting, Tanya.

You know when you need to bring these things up. She's always giving us a roasting after the program. Now, Tanya, do you have a basic grasp of the concept of words? I hope so, but my mind's probably going to go blank. You know how it goes. Well, that's all you need for this part of the show. What would you do with $5,000? Something boring, probably mortgage,

maybe a little bit for a picket tour around New Zealand. I'm going to my friends in Cardedon for a birthday in a couple of weeks. Oh, lovely. Yeah, well, you get that bank manager off you. Stop busting your chops for a couple of months, eh, Tanya? Yeah, I know. That's a good idea. All right, well, you need to decide who's going to match words with you this morning.

Who's going into the soundproof booth? Oh, I'm going to send Ben, please. Ben, we played this live last night at a work sales conference, and it went down a try. I think it felt like everyone just wanted to go home and go to bed, but we had a fun time doing it anyway, Tanya. Oh, cool. I feel you're going to go well today, okay?

I can feel it in my special part. Oh, thank you for asking. My heart. My heart, Belle. First word, Tanya, that pops into that beautiful noggin of yours when I say false. True. CD.

Sorry, CD? CD. Like compact disc? Yeah, you could say that or something else. CD, compact disc. I'll go for that. Compact disc. All right, reunion.

Word number three for you, Tarns. Friends. Friends. Oh, that's a good one. Oh, no, no. Can I change it? I just said it was a good one. What's your next one?

Oh, I was going to go school. Oh, no, that's even it? I just said it was a good one. What's your next one? Okay. I was going to go school. No, that's even a better one actually. School. Yeah, good one. Good one. I'm just going to say good one to all of them. Straw. Drink. Window. Pain. Tanya, what a game.

You played like a Trojan horse Oh, thank you Absolutely magnificent What do you do for a job there, Tams? Well, I've got three kids And I manage a commercial building in town That's enough

That's a lot on your plate It totally is Alright Which one of the kids would you get rid of if you could? I can't say that yeah no all of them i want to get rid of them all equally all right tanya let's match words with ben boys first word that comes into your head ben when i say false true one from one cd as in c d player As in C D Player Compact disc Oh of course compact disc

And unfortunately you were a compact dick Because it didn't come off for you this morning Tanya Sorry about that That's alright, reunion Where's the third word School Straw Drink Tanya School. Ooh, straw. Drink.

Tanya. Oh, don't tell me, don't tell me. The fifth word was window. What would you have said for window? Wash. Oh, three out of five, Tans. I need to wash my windows too. How much do you want?

Hey, well, you go and commercially manage that building and commercially manage those three children, okay, mate? Thanks so much. Lovely talking with you. All the best. All the best. The smell action continues after 8 o'clock in about 10 minutes' time as well.

Something very exciting in 10 minutes. Stick around for this. Huge announcement. It's embargoed. Yeah, don't say any more. We can't say any more. Big announcement. 10 minutes on the hats.

The Jono and Ben podcast available on iHeartRadio. I don't know why I'm telling you this. You're already here. Now, we talk about you. Look at me. I was very excited. Just as the song was ending,

he's like, I've got some church stuff. You know, being the show's resident Catholic. You like to say that. And then I like to say, well, how often do you go to church without being told you need to go to church? Who's been to church this week? Have you? Yeah. When did you last go to church? Who's been to church this week? Have you?

Yeah. When did you last go to mass? I was brought up Catholic too. Tuesday. Right. But whenever you go on when you haven't had to go for one of your kids' schools. Go to church. I'll go to church.

He calls me a plastic Catholic. He never went before. Anyway, it's fine. You're doing it. It's a good idea. Anyway, it got me excited when you said church stuff. Oh, it's church stuff. Because my dad, he's a teacher and and he had to go to a service.

And he was going to a service. Because you grew up as a Satanist, didn't you? No, I went to a school, went to church. It wasn't a Catholic school or anything like that. But I went. And my dad was going to church. And he said to my two nieces, they were staying at the time. They were like, oh, would you like to come along?

And they hadn't actually been to church before. So they were like, well, let's go experience it. Let's go learn about what you do and they did the communion now communion has obviously changed a bit from what with COVID times yeah well that's when you obviously go get the bread you weirdly eat Jesus'

body and then you drink his blood drink the blood which is just red wine yeah well now it used to be like a big from what I understand it used to be one glass very COVID-y that everyone would share and they'd sort of wipe they would wipe it with a cloth yeah which felt like that issue with that yeah so at this particular service they they're not doing that anymore they sort of brought out what was like little almost like little shot glasses everyone would have little little paper shot glasses and they were filled with cranberry

juice so it wasn't wine but it was cranberry juice and so this was obviously represent jesus's blood and so my two nieces went up with you know with their granddad my dad as well and uh you know everyone there and they were like hey this is you know jesus of blood uh drink this jesus said drink this blood and as my little niece got it she turned around to my my dad and went, cheers. Cheers. And he's looking like, are we going to actually cheers in front of everyone? When you've got a glass of Jesus' blood, you cheers. He's like, probably not the right context for us to be cheersing over what is symbolizing Jesus' blood. But at the same time, I don't want to let you down.

So I guess we're going to cheers and then knock back our little cranberry juice in that situation. Beautiful. And you wonder why Patag cranberry juice in that situation. Beautiful. And you wonder why Patagal was doing a documentary on booze. Kids at like seven years old going, Drink your wine. Going back to sharing the cup, they should have adopted a no lips, big sips policy.

No lips. You know, at school, no lips, big sips. That's when you hold the cup, you know, just a centimeter above your lips. Yeah. Because they always talked about the last 30%. It's all backwash anyway. Yeah, you don't want to be the back end of the church,

do you? Just drinking a whole... They have a little cloth and they wipe it. And I always thought as a kid, I was like, well, that's not wiping all the germs out.

No. No, and this was before COVID. This was before the age we live in now. So, yeah, the church is moving with the times there with the little... With the little shot glasses.

With the little shots of Jesus's blood. We've got a binge drinking problem in New Zealand. Cheers, everyone. Starting with the times there. With little shot glasses. Little shots of Jesus's blood. We've got a binge drinking problem in New Zealand. Cheers, everyone. Starting with Jesus's blood. The Jono and Ben Podcast. The world's number one podcast. Please don't check those stats.

Now, I'm being shamed, Ben. It's a new thing I've tried to introduce. And when you introduce anything new into your day-to-day habits, we spend so much time together that you get mocked for it, don't you? Yeah. Now, a little bit of a backstory. Dr Chris Warner came in for an interview for Shortland Street's anniversary,

and he ordered a coffee called a Piccolo. No one had ever heard of what it was. It was a game. And I was like, what is this Piccolo? It's intriguing. And he's like, it's a very small, short cup. You know, two or three shots of coffee, tiny bit of milk, bang, slam it down, and you're proactive for the next four to five hours.

You're not blinking. That's how hard that's coming in. It's short, angry, and very powerful, sort of like Kim Jong-un in North Korea. So I've started doing the Piccolo this week. But the problem with the Piccolo is... It comes in a fluffy cup. It comes in a child's, a very small child's... You look like you're taking a fluffy.

You're wearing a fluffy. And this is where the mockery comes in. Okay? And I hope... Dr. Chris Warner is an icon of New Zealand. I hope he's not facing the same mockery that I am now dealing with

on the day-to-day. It's every time I walk out of it... That's a nice little baby cup. Hello, little boy. that I am now dealing with on the day-to-day is every time I walk out of it... Can you look for me, mate? It's a nice little baby cup. Hello, little boy. Are you having a hot chocolate? Is mummy taking you out? You know, all these sorts of...

It's tiny. It's like a little shot glass. A paper little cup. The best part was yesterday, because it's okay to drink if you sit still, but he couldn't walk to keep up with us. The cup is so tiny, they haven't even created a lid for it. So you have to kind of balance this.

And it's boiling hot. It's all the milk, because you don't eat during the day. Your poor body. You used to give it a little bit of milk through your coffees. Now you're not even giving it that. No. That was the only sustenance it had. So then I was walking, I was sort of balancing.

All you could do crossing the road is just concentrate on this minuscule little shot glass. Like, you know the thimble in Monopoly? It's like one of those. That would hold more coffee than a Piccolo cup. But I was crossing the road, and then Tom, who we work with, dear Tom, I bumped into him, and I could tell, here we go, more mockeries coming my way thanks to the size of my cup. And he's like, oh, got a Piccolo, I see.

And I said, yes. And he said, you know, fun fact, Italians, on average, coming my way thanks to the size of my cup and he's like oh got a piccolo i see and i said yes and he said you know fun fact italians on average spend 30 seconds in a cafe at a time and i was like well that is hands down the most useless piece of information you must be holding in your head right now and i said why why do you know this he's like piccolo's italian his friend runs a coffee store and he did research into you know just coffee trends around the world the italians they go and they get their coffee they slam back a shot they're not walking across the road like you they're just doing it there and walking out it's a different culture on average 30 seconds your average italian is spending in a cafe random fact to to know, though, right? I said, has that served you any good in life?

He said, well, to be honest, not until now. Not until now. Unless he took up a role as a consultant and Starbucks were looking to open a whole range of stores in Italy, he could tell Starbucks, hey, on average, average Italian, 30 seconds in a shop. So you must have in your head,

you must have some facts that you guys know, information you didn't need to know, but it's retained in your head. We'd love to know it this morning on 0800THEHITS. What's the most useless thing you know? What's inside your head, you must have some facts that you guys know. Information you didn't need to know, but it's retained in your head. We'd love to know it this morning on 0800THEHITS. What's the most useless thing you know? What's inside your head? I've got one involving the margarita pizza, which I'll tell you about shortly. I've got one involving Pringles.

We're talking useless bits of information that you probably didn't need to know, that you never really get to bring out. Yeah, our dear colleague Tom told me, on average, the average Italian spending 30 seconds in a cafe at a time. That is a quick in and out for the Italians, isn't it? Yeah. The use of information that I know, that I always remember for some reason, is Pringles. You know, the chips that come in the long tube.

The inventor of Pringles is actually buried inside a Pringles tube. That was his dying wish. How small was he? Well, he obviously wasn't like a tiny little... No, he obviously created it. A little fella. And I was looking into it last night because I was like, is this true? Because I've always had this in my head and it is.

And family stopped off on the way to bury him and they went, what flavour should, what will you like? And they decided the original flavour was the one they should bury him in. Yeah. So he's buried inside that. You wouldn't want to get that confused for your other packets of Pringles. You know how they all tend into like little bits at the end and you're turning the thing upside down?

Yeah. Just pour it into your mouth. I'll beat that. Liam will get you on the most useless bit of information you know this morning. Hey, guys. So, yeah, this is all right to talk about, eh? Well, geez, now I'm nervous.

I don't know. But I'm going to say yes, it is. I don't know. B-Hubs, he's not even listening to us. Is he right to talk about this? I don't know. It's his octopus. Liam's just said, is this all right to talk about,

which is making Ben very nervous and me very happy. Jono says yes. Okay. All right. So my piece of useful, unuseful, pointless information is that an octopus has a detachable willy. Well, like you just sort of pop it in his pocket and then sort of bring it out.

Well, it's car keys. Wallets, detachable willy, car keys, got them all. Oh, hey, that's a great fact. We won't forget that one. And Liam, I appreciate you front-footing it. You're self-censoring. He went through the producers and then he came on here. He's like, jeez, I still don't know about this.

This is a wild show. But anyway, I'm going to do it. Hey Liam, we're going to send you out some hell pizza, alright? Oh, awesome. Thanks, guys. Enjoy that. Very funny. We've got Kimbo on 0800 The Hits this morning. Kim, the useless bit of information you know? One bat poo is square.

Oh yeah, now, why would it be square? How does it come out square? I've never actually sat and had a conversation with a wombat. I presume it's like when you put Play-Doh through one of those shape things that maybe it comes out like that.

Yeah, perhaps and I've never really got that close and personal with a wombat before. Yeah, obviously close enough to know that they come out square. Well, yeah, when you see them in the Australian Zoo and the keepers are cleaning the enclosure, you get to see stuff. Oh, yeah, they're like little dice. Like, imagine a...

Like a dice. I mean, you'll want to play, like, Monopoly with it or something. No, true. No, you wouldn't. Yeah, I'm just looking at a picture of it now. And so there's a lot of probably important stuff that isn't in your brain thanks to that fact. Has it

helped you out in life? In a trivia quiz once? And in novelty radio topics? Perhaps, yeah. It's one of those conversations you start up at the pub, did you know kind of thing? That is a useless bit of information. Have you got others?

Like rabbits sometimes eat their own poop. Oh, you've got a lot of poop-based facts. Well, I've got kids. Gotcha. That's their sweet spot, doesn't it? Yeah, boys, you know, that's their topic, their go-to topic. Yeah, a lot of fecal facts there from Kimbo this morning.

Glad I could help you guys out. Yeah, no, thank you. Really appreciate your time. No worries. John Owen Bean's general smell election. We're looking for New Zealand's favourite smell. As voted by you, we're heading towards the quarterfinals. Quarterfinal one.

Bacon cooking versus petrol. Yeah, we're getting down to the crunch, and that's just not the crispiness of the bacon cooking. We were doing a video yesterday on cooking bacon, and just as soon as it hits the fry pan, it's just gorgeous. Oh, is it? It's going to be one of the front runners. It definitely is.

Mind you, petrol's had a good running so far. It's had a tough path to the quarterfinals petrol, the smell of petrol. But, yeah, eventually it's not going to be... The cost of petrol has had a lot of bagging with the smell. People are still on board with the smell. If only we could just run cars off the smell of petrol, we'd all be doing so much better. But you know, thanks to the government submissions reductions plan,

there's going to be a generation of children who won't have the joy of smelling. Won't get to experience the smell of ruining the environment. We spoke to a lady a couple of days ago who worked at a service station, at a petrol station. We're like, what's it like working there? Does the novelty wear off?

Oh, to be honest, the petrol, I don't mind, but I love the diesel smell. Oh, you're a diesel fan. If I came in there dripping in diesel, just soaked in diesel, just soaked in diesel, very flammable, would I be your perfect man?

Huge health risk. Too much. I do like to diesel feels like the working class petrol doesn't it? It's out there, it's got the sleeves rolled up, it's doing hard labour. The old diesel. Alright, who are you going to vote for? I can't go past bacon cooking. out there so he's got his sleeves rolled up he's doing hard labour the old diesel alright who you

going to vote for I'm going to put my I can't go past bacon cooking yeah I don't I know in radio we're meant to take now you're meant

to go petrol yeah I know but I'm that's how radio works that's what we studied that's why I talked two and a half years at broadcasting school

you disagree on stuff you're going to go opposite hang on but what if I don't believe it doesn't matter you're speaking for a certain part of the audience. Exactly.

But I'm going to go with you on this, Ben. I can't deny my love for petrol. I love petrol. I love huffing petrol and all the carbon monoxide. Love it. The Smelliction. It's Jono and Ben's General Smelliction. Yeah.

Celebrating in a tournament fashion some of the greatest odours that have been compiled by you, thanks to all your votes. Just a range of them. Freshly baked bread, pies and pie warmers. The smell of babies fresh out of the bath. You name it, they've all been in. They started the week as a group of 12, and now they've whittled down to the quarterfinals.

We're going to lose a lot of our favourite smells right now, aren't we? Is it going to be bacon cooking, or is it going to be the smell of petrol? We've both put our weight behind bacon. And petrol needs a few wins. The voting lines will be open for 24 hours, but we're going to kick it off with Jodie. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast, Jode. How's Auckland this morning?

Good morning, boys. It's actually really sunny and nice. Oh, there we go. Very nice. All right, Jodie. Bacon, petrol, what are you going to go? Bacon, any day. Yeah, you can't go past the smell of bacon.

As I've said a couple of times already, my wife's vegetarian, but she just loves the smell of bacon. She would turn for bacon. Jodie, do you know, I was doing some research. We're celebrating the best smells, obviously, but the worst ones out there Are the worst smells in the world according to science Have you heard of science?

I've heard of science, yeah They do some stuff Well you don't argue with science Unless you're a Christian who refuses to believe in the big bang theory Or an anti-vaxxer I think you can argue with science But generally most people don't bother arguing with science Science came out with the worst smell ever

Apparently Uranus Not yours, Ben. Yours smells like a meadow of strawberries. That just seems like a cheap gag. Not about the planet. I'm going to give you a secret. Enough of it. Let me finish.

I'm going to give you a CK1 bottle so you can smell nice, all right? Oh, that's awesome. It's the hydrogen sulfide up there. Honestly, it smells like a petrol station toilet up there. But let's get Anna on from Golden Bay. It's petrol. Take it on, Bacon. Take it on, Anna. Taking on the radio.

What are you going to go, Anna? Oh, of course you're in a mid-breath. Compose yourself, Anna. Are you there? I am. Good morning, team. Morning. Who are you voting for? I'm afraid to say that Petrel's got to win it hands down. Oh, Petrel, you've got to go against the bacon, the cooking bacon.

All right, well, we're going to... Do you wrap your nostrils around the Petrel pump? Oh, not so much the Petrel pump, but definitely two strokes. Nothing can beat the smell of that one either. Oh, the two strokes. Get the lawnmower out there, the little motorbikes. That's it. Yeah. Absolutely. Petrel. Through and through, Petrelhead. Yeah, the two-stroke. Get the lawnmower out there, the little motorbikes. That's it. Yeah. Absolutely.

Petrol. Through and through, petrolhead. Yeah, oh, good on you, Anna. Well, you keep sniffing that petrol and thank you very much for your vote. And thank you very much

for all your votes. Really do appreciate it. Should we knock it off with one more bee hum? So we've done taking votes. Who do you want to go to, mate? We'll go to Sue Morrinsville. Welcome, Sue.

Morning, guys. Being a big participant in the smell election over the last seven days, Sue, have you enjoyed the journey? Yeah, it's been good. Oh, good. Life-changing? Oh, no, that's not overcooking, Johnny. Life-changing, it makes you stop and do what you're doing to hear what's going on.

Exactly. Okay, so who are you going to vote for, Sue? Bacon cooking, the smell of bacon cooking, or the smell of petrol? Bacon. There we go, another one for bacon. What are you liking? There's so many varieties. You've got streaky, rindless, the other stuff. What's your favourite type of bacon?

Any bacon, so long as it's not me cooking it. It smells amazing. Sue, we're going to get you a bottle of CK1 so you can smell amazing in Morrinsville from the Kim's Warehouse. Good on you. Thanks for your votes. The voting lines are open. All the best, Sue. Look after Morrinsville. The Kim's Warehouse, alright? Good on you Thanks for your votes and the voting lines are open All the best, so look after Morrinsville The voting lines are open for the next 24 hours

Then we're heading into the semis and the finals on the way of the smell action That is amazing trip up for grabs, a family adventure to South Australia, includes flights, accommodation rental car and activities. You've got to listen out for your boarding calls. One just played before.

If you get through on 0800THEHITS, you can select your seat and you could be jetting off to South Australia. Next Monday, we're going to announce who the winner of that competition is. Tanya, why don't you join us on the radio program? How are you, mate? Good, thank you. How are you? Oh, lovely to have you on. Where are you calling from this morning?

Whanganui. Oh, good on you. Now, Tanya, what shall she do? What seat do you want to lock in? What plane seat would you like to be seated on? C-11. 11 C. Okay, that's a good seat.

Any particular affiliation with the number? It's a lucky number and C's the start of my son's name. Oh, nice. We've got the aisle seat as well. Now, Producer Behemoth was just saying you've been on a plane once before. Just from New Plymouth to Auckland when I was about 10. Oh, so going overseas would be pretty

exciting. Yeah, yeah. Pretty nerve-wracking because I've never done it. You wouldn't have a passport? Nope, I don't have a passport. You need to get a passport. Oh, yeah. You need to experience the joy of never nailing a passport photo.

Looking miserable in your passport photo. For some reason, you need to look like you've just been told you've been made redundant. It's like when you look when you come back from your holiday, eh? But not when you're going on holiday. Yeah.

They should all be smiles. Yeah, it's a holiday for all the way out and then your coming home passport. Like, ugh. Hey, Tanya, you could be off the way out, and then you're coming home past four. Tanya, you could be off to South Australia. It looks like a wonderful part. It's like Australia, but it's south. And I was reading into it.

They have a giant pink lake. Oh, really? It's all pink, yeah. And apparently it's the lowest point in Australia, this lake. Lower than them sending our criminals back to us. That's how low this lake is. And South Australians, when you're over there, you have to call them crow eaters.

Now you'd be very happy, Ben. I'm very woke now. I googled whether crow eater was a derogatory term, Belle. Turns out it is, but at least I googled it. No, it's not derogatory. It's not derogatory. Both your faces were like... I don't know what else I'm here to say.

Hey, Tanya, you are in the draw. All the very best. We'll be drawing that out on Monday at 8 o'clock, all right? Awesome. Thank you so much. Love your week, Tanya. I hope you win. You deserve to win. Yeah, it'll be very exciting. You can follow your taste buds to Adelaide

and enjoy a relaxed atmosphere with world-class food and wine and maybe Google some terms that you're allowed to use before you go. Spy. Know what's up. Spy.co.nz All right, we cross live now to two metres away from where I currently am, Belle Crawford. What's happening over there? Come on down.

Well, we're still very excited for Brittany after her fairytale wedding. A lot of iconic people were there, Paris Hilton, Madonna, and now there's details out about her prenup. So her now husband, Sam Ashari, he won't get much if he and Brittany break up. She's got a new lawyer. He is very good. And, I mean, people have been hemorrhaging money from her, abusing her for years with that. So he's sorted a prenup in her favor.

And any money she made before the wedding is well protected. He won't get any of it. Well, wouldn't that be an awkward, like I understand why people need them, I understand why they're necessary, but I feel like it's such an awkward conversation to have. You're entering into a conversation going, well, this thing's probably going to end.

Here's what we need to do at the end of it. I guess after everything that's happened though, like you have to. And it does make sense. You would hope in that situation that he might, Sam might have gone hey we need to get a prima I'm not after your money

you'd probably bring it up you know being the other party rather than Brittany go so I know you're here he would understand yeah it makes total sense

have you got a prenup no oh no I'm going to have a prenup no I might go get one today too late mate is it too late it's way too late

you'd better midnub? And Kris Jenner is trying to, this is a report, allegedly financially ruin Blac Chyna, who is Rob Kardashian, her son's ex, with a $400,000 bill to pay for lawyer fees. So they had a court case and so she sent in the bill being like, you can cover this. And Blac Chyna's lawyer is's lawyer saying well you're just trying to ruin

Her you're trying to ruin her career you got her TV Show ruined and now you're trying to like You know ruined all the good China It's a hefty bill $400,000 yeah you've been through The legal process it's not cheap What do they charge for Like we spoke to NTR

Hollywood insider he reckons Depp would have Dropped at least 10 million on his Legal team Jeez You know What do they It's for time obviously Yeah every conversation

Everything The expertise and stuff Every phone conversation Yeah it's like The same with the Accountants and stuff Every time you talk to It's all

You know The minutes are taken No light banter at the top You'd be a shocker You've just got to Get to the point Why are we going to Nine thousand dollars

What's your favourite colour what are your things you're like you know this is costing you everything and also Kate Bush's 80s track Running Up That Hill

massive at the moment we're playing it it's number one after being featured on the latest season of Netflix's Stranger Things and Halsey

performed a cover at a music festival love Halsey performed a cover at a music festival. Love Halsey. Yeah, she's a fantastic artist. It sounds like everyone's talking through the song, though, in the performance. It sounds like someone's next to the phone that someone was talking and recording that.

You a fan of the Kate Bush song? Oh, look, it wasn't a song that really, the first time round I was like, you know when you hear something like Guns N' Roses is used in Thor and you're like, oh, that sounds amazing, you're going to hear it again. But to be honest, I wasn't. But it's cool to hear it on the radio. It's good for Kate Bush.

She's getting $3 million from over a billion streams. That's our show. Have yourself a great day. We'll catch you tomorrow from six. The Hits. For more podcasts from The Hits Network, check out iHeartRadio.co.nz.