Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: Jono's Got The Memory Of A Goldfish!

Episode Date: April 4, 2023

PDA YAY OR NAY? Jono is forgetting people's names again Ben and his wife have a dilemma.. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I think This is the John Owen Ben podcast Dilma there, you know, they're doing they're making a world the world a better tea do try it We're gonna do trotting your microphone would be good wouldn't it for me from the start of the podcast? I make that mistake regularly because you can you can actually bump the on and off buttons on the desk of the microphone See that he's just too easy. I worked with a wonderful see i just did it again wonderful gentleman and he was cuddly by frame right and his belly would sit over the desk and he would be talking on the radio and it would just go he'd be like hey yeah now i'm on the radio they're like you can't hear him and i'll be like mate your guts are on the thing again.

And he'd be like, oh, not again. We'd have a laugh. We'd have a laugh. He loved it. Well, yeah. Hey, it's really fun. We snackable-sized podcast for you to enjoy today. I'm sure you would like a snack.

Oh, jeez. I think I might need to be in charge of turning John's butt. Yeah, it would be nice to keep it off, I think, is probably the be in charge of turning John's butt on. Yeah, it would be nice to just keep it off, I think, is probably the best thing for everyone involved, especially for his friendships that continue. Well, what we do today, we actually put you on the spot with your memory and you keep getting everyone's names wrong around the office, around places we work.

And what transpired was a fun little game that we played, but one of my favourite moments was a lady who phoned up I'll leave you to enjoy it on the podcast but she just enhanced our story about the fact

that you've been getting everyone's name wrong she had an example of exactly what we were talking about it happened to her IRL in real life in Blenheim

yeah I don't even know it was Blenheim was it Blenheim? I see it was Blenheim thankfully well done you did it.

You've got to doubt yourself now every time you're going to say something. I'm just trying to overcompensate and try and really remember the first, middle, and last names of people. As well as that, I had to complain about the joint calendar situation at home, and that kind of backfires for me on the podcast as well. Enjoy. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Now, life, you know, it's busy.

It's very busy at the moment. It's family life. You're trying to juggle, you know, like when, you know, it happens around the country when you're working, you know, parents and kids. Once the kids get into activities, there is a lot going on. You're a busy guy too. You like being busy. I do like being busy. Even when there's nothing

to do, he likes being busy, just doing stuff. And I've been getting into the habit recently, and I know we do it at work, so I've been doing it at home, doing the joint calendar, but the calendar that you run through your email, the electronic calendar, where you put little things in, you send out little reminders, and people like calendar e-vites, and you accept those, and they go into the joint calendar. So we've got a family one at home.

Can I just say thank you so much for explaining, mansplaining the electronic calendar to everyone i mean there were people listening going almost over explained it well anyway i've been getting into a bit of frustration recently i have a frustration about what you're saying now but frustration at home because my wife will often ask me you go oh what are we doing on this thing or what are we doing and i'll be like it's in the calendar it's in the joint calendar that's the thing i can run it with a fastidious i'm like i put it in the joint calendar you have accepted these electronic evites do you know how they work maybe you can explain it to me during the next air break so i've been like hey you've accepted

these things have come on my calendar goes amanda's accepted these you're in the calendar why do you keep you keep asking me these things it's all in the calendar it's all in the calendar all answers you need are hidden you've accepted it you know about this thing and then I realized yesterday for some weird reason my computer and her computer are synced up weirdly and her email evites have been coming through to me to my email and I've been clicking accept. Because yesterday I looked and I go, Amanda, oh, that's not for me. I thought it was for me, but it's not. So hold on, you're creating the invite and then accepting your own invite.

It's accepting her invites that I think are going to her under Amanda. I've been accepting it. So I've been, oh, my God, it's in the calendar. All my frustration, she hasn't actually accepted these things. She hasn't even seen. They are in the calendar. Don't get me wrong, they're in the calendar. All my frustration. She hasn't actually accepted these things. She hasn't even seen. They are in the calendar. Don't get me wrong. They're in the calendar.

And how does the calendar work again? Well, you see what happens. No. So, yeah, but I've been, you know, I haven't told her that. I've just been getting frustrated that I have now realised that I've been accepting these things on her behalf. Well, what I've done on your behalf has had her on hold this whole time. Oh, gee, I told you this yesterday. Just for you, I've been on your behalf. Well, what I've done on your behalf has had her on hold this whole time. I told you this yesterday. On your behalf.

And Amanda. Hello, Benjamin. I put this in the calendar. Put it in her calendar. I didn't accept this. I didn't accept this. Anyway, it's been a wee muck up, a wee electronic muck. Let's blame it on artificial intelligence.

No, no, no, no. This is your fault. You have been accepting it, and I said it so smugly because there's so many conversations we've had where you're like, why haven't you looked in the calendar? It's in the calendar. It's all in the calendar. On the bloody calendar, and you're mansplaining of it.

Do you demand a public apology, Amanda? I do. That would be lovely. On your knees, please. I've apologised now for setting up the calendar, the joint calendar. I think he needs to step down. You've brought great shame upon the...

I'm not Stuart Nash, mate. I'm accepting this resignation. It's been lovely working with you. All right. Have a lovely day. I'll put a wee apology. I'll schedule that in the calendar for later when I get home, okay? I won't accept that one.

You can accept that one. All right. After 8 o'clock, you saw something really cute and adorable yesterday, didn't you? Yeah, by two old people. They would have been 80s or 90s, near the finish line of life, and they're still doing something which gave me hope. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

Former Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern's last day in Parliament today was a very emotional one for her last night on News Hub as well. She was very, very upset when they talked about how she'd like to be remembered. What's your final message for New Zealanders? Oh, thank you. Gosh, it's going to be an emotional time for you, isn't it? Yeah.

Happy. Yeah. Happy. Yeah. Where does that emotion come from? 15 years of being here. Just a privilege. Yeah. Now, obviously, comments online, probably, you know, 60-40. Yeah, we're so in favour of her.

You get a positive one and then it's immediately cancelled out with a negative one. One for one, tit for tat. You do understand what people have been through over the last few years and some people affected personally or with businesses and stuff as well, feeling very differently about Jacinda Ardern. At the end of the day, she's a person, she's a mother, she's a really lovely human being. We've had the privilege of talking to her many times over the years,

so we do wish her all the best. It's been very generous of the time. In fact, we're going to look back on some of our fondest memories with Jacinda. I don't know if they're fond memories for her. Probably not, to be honest. Probably not even memories for her. No. She probably has no recollection.

Yesterday, Ben, I saw this adorable, beautiful elderly couple, you know, so old they're nearly not with us anymore, wandering down the the road holding each other's hands isn't that nice it is isn't that and i was like there is hope for us all because i i was looking for hope watching married at first sight and thinking if these beautiful self-promoting influencers can't make it then what what hope is there for the rest of us? But then I saw this elderly couple and I thought, they're holding hands or either holding each other up. Yeah, I was wondering that, actually, is that part. I mean, whatever you need to do to get by.

I mean, it's just the right thing. You would hate that. You would hate holding hands. Oh, I'm not a big PDA person, you know. I know it would surprise you, you know. It wouldn't surprise you at all, to be honest. No, I've tried to pass you many times in public. You're like, not here, mate. Not here in public.

Not in front of the kindergarten kids. I mean, it gets to a level of, yeah, something. You know, I mean, some people, it's like. When was the last time you held hands with someone? Oh, no, I wouldn't have held hands with, you know, whether it was the kids or my wife, you know, like, yeah. In public? Yeah, in public.

But it's not. But when it gets to people making out and all sorts of stuff, I'm like, okay, come on, guys. There's a time and place for that. I get it. When they're eating each other's faces out and you're like, mate, not here. No, it's like, yeah, yeah.

I get to that. Some people get it, but it's a bit. Not here. We're in the food court of Westfield. I'm trying to have a tikka masala, mate. Yeah, your chicken chow mein's ready. You know, it's just... Pull back.

Yeah, yeah. Back off. But some people love it. It's their thing. And I'm like, some people are oblivious to how other people are judging them. And that's fine.

I mean, they're not hurting anyone. But sometimes I feel like PDA goes a bit too far. Yeah. 0800 the hits. PDA. Yay or nay? Are you for it Are you against it

Again No judgement from us Oh Ben Because you're against it clearly It's the only thing He's firmly got it Drawn a line in the sand with Any forms of affection

In public Yeah Well let's not get Too carried away alright That's what I'll tell you But you give us a call right now 0800 the hits Talk me around

4487 PDA yay or nay I gave my high five on the street once he said let us not get too carried away mate the hits

the Jono and Ben podcast public displays of affection saw a sweet elderly couple yesterday still holding hands oh it's adorable it's kind of it goes

it feels like it's acceptable young teenage you know energetic enthusiastic trying stuff It feels like it's acceptable young, teenage, energetic, enthusiastic, trying stuff. Then it gets a bit awkward and icky. And then when you're old again, it becomes... Okay, but what if those old people were like, their false teeth out and they were like smooching up a storm?

How would you... You're in it or is that okay? I'd be watching, filming. Filming. No matter what age. Sarah, you're on. Welcome. Hi, morning, guys.

No, it doesn't matter what age. Sarah, welcome. Hi. It does, you're right, yeah. A lot. Can't I just say stuff? You do, yeah. Shut up.

Shut up, Jono. Sarah, tell me to shut up. I'll be quiet. Yeah, good on you. Thank. Shut up, Jono. Sarah, tell me to shut up. I'll be quiet. Yeah, good on you. Thank you. Public displays of affection. Are you doing it? Oh, yes, my husband and I, we still hold hands, you know, when we're out and about.

But if we were to do anything more than hold hands, have a smooch or anything like that, straight away the kids are, oh, that's gross. Don't do that. You had to smooch it up a storm, are you? Good on you. Well, we're not allowed to in front of the kids are, oh, that's gross. Don't do that. You're smudging up a storm, are you? Good on you. Well, we're not allowed to in front of the kids anyway. Get called out for it. We do.

That's one from one so far. One in the camp of public displays of affection. Susan, you in for it or not? Oh, we still hold hands. We still cuddle, give each other kisses in public. I'm happy to do that. Oh, that is, it's kind of cute. When you say it sounds cute and adorable.

Yeah. When I feel like if I ever do it, I don't know, it just feels a bit weird. What happens if you start getting really hot and steamy? No, I think we don't do that anymore. We've done it in our younger years, but no. Yeah, right. You don't need a thing to get out of control on the bus or anything. No, no, no.

So how long? Long gone. Long gone. Long gone, but still some cute things you're doing. And it is lovely to show that affection. So you'd hold hands, what, just walking through the supermarket, mall, whatever? Yeah, yeah. I mean, we met at school, sorry, 18 at high school,

and we started holding hands straight away, and we have ever since. So it's just automatic for us if we're out. We just look through the one's hand, always walk in the same way, and hold hands down the road, anywhere. Have you done that couple thing, that cute thing, where they put their hands in each other's jeans pocket, the one at the back? We've done that.

Oh, you've done that. I don't, yeah, I like it. Again, that's not for me. Just, I think, human-to-human contact, not for you. Yeah, yeah, true. You're not tactile then. Yeah, no, he's not going to be, tell you what, if you're with Ben Boyce, he's not going to be sliding his hand down your jean pocket.

Okay, Suzanne, for a number of reasons. Yes, yeah. Firstly, yeah, you seem quite happy in your relationship. I'm happy in mine. So that's... That's all that matters. Yeah, grossly inappropriate.

But anyway, Suzanne, you've got to look after yourself. You sound like you have a wonderful relationship. That's lovely to hear. Thank you. Amo,

PDA, yay or nay? Yay, all for it. All for it. Another one, all for it. What are you doing? Are you pashing up

a storm in town? No, not pashing up a storm. All for it. Another one, all for it. What are you doing? Are you pashing up a storm in town? No, not pashing up a storm. Just showing affection. It makes people feel good. Who? Well, if you look at someone showing affection, doesn't it make you feel good? It should make you feel good.

It makes me feel awkward. It does make me feel awkward. Well, I'm one of those. I just, yeah, I don't know. But I'm to, you know. How long have you been with your partner? Coming up 20 years. 20 years. So it's been 20 years of holding hands, arms round backs. Yes, nothing below the waist though. Just showing, just yeah.

Family friendly stuff. Everyone loves to be angry at the moment, but we need to turn up the love. Oh, good on you Amy. You're right, Amy. You're right. Good on you. Although I do remember going to a Vanilla Ice concert once with my mate Andy, and there was a couple, and they were very much making out in front of us. And it was like trying to see the concert.

It was very hard to see. In that situation, what do you think? Are you still thinking that's lovely? Maybe just tell them to dial it back down to a six or a five or something. They were mauling each other. We want everyone to be happy but not horny. I was just trying to watch Ice Ice Baby. They needed to cool off, that's for sure.

Oh, good on you, Amy. Well, you keep up your positive attitude. That's lovely to hear. Thanks, guys. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Jono, I've noticed you've been doing something quite a lot recently. Getting people's names wrong. Now, it happens on the radio from time to time where someone will say their name

and then you'll be like, oh, sorry, I didn't hear that correctly. Whatever it is, and you'll blame it on headphones, many years wearing headphones. And that's fine. But now people will say to you their name and we'll meet people and then you'll go to say it back and you'll be totally off the mark. We hung out with some lovely people on the weekend and you went through all the names going, oh, we should say all their names.

All five you got wrong later. Like all five, you're close. Yeah, it was like, oh, it was Dan. It was Dave. It was Sarah. No, it was close. Yeah, it was like, oh, it was Dan. It was Dave. It was Sarah. No, it was Sam. Yeah. Yeah, it was, yeah.

Oh, but that was, yeah. Yeah, it was Kendall. No, it was Kevin. Yeah. And I'm putting it down to the fact that I'm just starting not, I'm starting to just not care about life, Ben. I'm starting to fade out on D, because those are.9s, cross and Ts, aren't they?

Remembering names and. Well, that's just, well. I mean, because those are.9s, cross and Ts, aren't they? Remembering names and... Well, that's just... Well... I mean, it's nice to remember... I'm not a details person. But it's a name. It's a name. It's their thing, you know?

I know the name's their thing. Yeah, but it's your thing. Imagine if we went around there and forgot your name all the time. They do. They call me Ben all the time. I'm pretty chill with it, to be honest. That's true. They do.

Or Jono and Ben. Yeah, we do. I get Jono quite a lot as well. But yeah, I am just kind of, I hear what you're saying. I'm not going to defend it. Definitely, I'm missing the mark with a lot of information. Like, if you tell me a piece of information, if I have to recollect it, it's going to be about 60 to 70% correct.

Yeah. And I hope that I'm giving enough details that you can piece it all together. You know? Yeah. You're like, oh, we did a hospital fundraiser the other day. You're like, it was a mental health fundraiser. I feel like I'm with you at the Ryman. Sometimes you say something, I'm like, oh, yeah, but, you know, just.

You must feel a bit of embarrassment with me. I mean, we were in Palmerston North the other day and I thought I recognised someone. That's right. And I was like, Ferg, g'day mate. G'day. And I had a whole conversation with this guy. And it wasn't, and I was the whole way there. I was like, it's not Ferg.

It's not Ferg. And I was deep in a conversation. And the guy was so polite, he didn't correct me and he pretended to be Ferg. That's where I'm at. So, me, and he pretended to be Ferg. That's where I'm at. So, yeah, and I am embarrassed about it. Yeah, it's shocking.

So I reckon we should try and let's put you to the test. Let's see how good you actually are. So can we get some people calling on 0800 THE HATS? You say your name, what you do, and we'll say such and such, line one is this name and that. We'll go through all the lines and then I'll just throw random who was on line three to you afterwards. Time pressure as well. And you have to come back.

But it's instant memory. It's not days later. It's people are going to say so I under the hits. We'll find surprises for them on I under the hits. Why are you doing this to me? I mean you've proved your point. I've agreed with your point. I think you can do it. I back you.

And if not, hey, it's fun. It's fun mocking you. So 100 the hits. Tell us your name, what you're doing. We'll see if Jono can remember next

and you could win. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. I wanted to put Jono's fading memory to the test right now. I reckon you can do this. We'll get some people on 100 the hits.

The onset of early Alzheimer's. Now, I actually just recollected another time that I got someone completely wrong. Olivia just started in the sales integration team, and I went up behind her and put my hand on her shoulder and said, Jesse!

Looking for a completely other person. She turned around and she got the fright of her life, and it wasn't. Yeah. Apparently her name's Brenna. for a completely other person. She turned around and she got the fright of her life. Yeah. And it wasn't. Yeah. So, apparently her name's Brenna. We've just come through. Just come through as well. So there, yeah, yeah.

The person you're talking to, apparently, the story you're recollecting was Brenna. But anyway. Anyway. There you go. It just proved your point.

Do we even need to do this game? Probably not. But people have run through. So let's go. Here we go. So I'm going to be blindfolded. I can't see the screen. Because you know we can see the names online.

So put your blindfold on right now. Okay. Here we go. Okay. Who is on line one here? Caitlin's on. Caitlin. Good morning, Caitlin.

Good morning. Good morning. What do you do for a job, here? Caitlin's on. Caitlin. Good morning, Caitlin. Good morning. Morning. What do you do for a job, Caitlin? I do kids' parties. Kids' parties. I will never forget you. All right, kids' party. Line one, Caitlin.

All right, let's jump to line two. Producer Joel, who's on line two? Nicole. Nicole, line two. Good morning, Nicole. How are you doing? Good morning. I'm good, thanks.

What's your favourite hobby, Nicole? Oh, I am, oh, that's a hard one, probably swimming. Swimming? Swimming. Okay, thanks. What's your favourite hobby, Nicole? Oh, I am, oh, that's a hard one. Probably swimming. Swimming? Swimming, okay. Nicole, she's a swimming and athletic swimmer. Okay, line three. Who's on line three?

Here we go. Jess. Jess, good morning. Jess, how you doing? I'm great, thanks. How are you guys? Good. What part of the country are you calling from?

New Plymouth. New Plymouth, all right. Jess, I have a question. Can you remember who's on line one? No, no, okay. Keep going. Keep it in your head, Brian. Keep it in your head. Jess in New Plymouth. Jess in New Plymouth. New Plymouth, alright. Just over question, can you remember who was on line one? No, no, okay. Keep going, keep it in your head, Brian, keep it in your head. Line four, who we got? Enoch. Enoch!

Enoch! Good, thanks, yourself. Enoch used to be in Gloria Vale and he left eight years ago. I know his backstory. That's right. Good to have you on again, buddy. Alright, that's okay, line four is Enoch and let's go line five, who we got? Crystal. Crystal, okay. Morning's right. Good to have you on again, buddy. Alright, that's okay. Line four is he not, and let's go line five. Who have we got? Crystal. Crystal. Okay. Morning, Crystal.

Good morning. Who's your husband, Crystal? Your partner or your whatever? My 10-year-old son thinks he is. Okay, what's your 10-year-old son's name? Levi. Funny story, we met you at Blenheim and you called him Leroy. Leroy.

When you done the sausage sizzle thing and he was playing the toilet paper game. Yep, so he's changed his name now. That's nearly correct information. Oh, that's so good. Alright, Crystal. Okay, so how do you want to do? Should we jump? Okay, let's see if we can knock him out. Okay, let's jump to line, okay, so that's not,

line two, Giotto, who's line two? Rachel? No, no, there was Nicola. Nicole? Yep. Nicole, who likes swimming. Yes, Nicole, you get a prize, hold the line, Nicole, thank you so much.

Okay, let's go, line four. Line four, ooh, she's in the line, Nicole. Thank you so much. Okay, let's go. Line four. Line four. Oh, she's in the trenches. Enoch. Yes. Gory Vale. Yeah, the Gory Vale. All right.

Let's circle back to line one. Christy? Crystal. Kirstie. Kirstie? Likes kids' parties. Likes kids' parties. Michaela.

Oh, Caitlin. Caitlin. Oh, Caitlin gets a prize as well. Okay, in the middle there, Jess. Jess. You just said her name. Oh, I said her name. Yes, but now I'm trying to remember what Jess likes.

Yeah, where's she from? Where's she from? Jess was from New Plymouth. Yeah, there we go. Oh, yay. And finally, with the son's name that you got wrong. Oh, little Leroy. And cursed. Christy. Kirstie. Crystal. Crystal. Oh, yeah that you got wrong. Oh, little Leroy. And cursed.

Christy. Kirstie. Crystal. Oh, yeah. Crystal. Nearly correct information. Thank you so much. I think we proved our point.

The Leroy story, Levi story, proved your point right there. Coming up next to Cinder Ardern, it's her final day in Parliament and we're going to pay homage with some of our fondest memories with her. What are you looking at right now? I'm looking at a rubbish

truck. Tell me more. That's next on The Hits.