Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: Michelle Obama Motivation For Your Monday

Episode Date: August 21, 2022

It is a wholesome Monday show today on the Jono and Ben podcast, the guys play some inspiring audio from Michelle Obama to get you motivated for your Monday, we are joined by Gin Wigmore and The Wiggles and we talk to Lucy about an awkward situation with wedding invites!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Do you want to do your date? Yeah, Josh, I'll do the date now. Sorry, I got lost in... I don't know what date it is. I got lost in Instagram. Jono tells me. Yes.

22nd of August, Ben! Oh, thank you. Who would have thought August, the 8th month of the year, traditionally, depending on what calendar you write off, aka all of them. Yeah, so welcome along. It's been a fun Monday show, but Producer Joel, we had a question that you wanted to throw at us for the podcast intro.

Yeah, yeah. Well, UFC was on yesterday, a massive UFC fight. And then the main event, a huge knockout. Some guy got head kicked and he was unconscious for about 20 seconds. It's quite rough to see.

It's very confronting, that sport, isn't it? I can't watch people getting rendered unconscious because they just collapse in a heap. It's a difficult watch, isn't it? They love it. Oh, it's a difficult watch, isn't it? They love it. It's hugely popular around the world, isn't it? Even yesterday, there was a video of a guy licking blood off his opponent as well.

Oh, nice. Which can't be good for HIV, hepatitis. Yeah, for all sorts of... But great for entertainment, though. I'm like, if you started bleeding now and they're like, you've got to lick his blood in front of a stadium load of people,

I'd be licking it off you, Ben. Would you? Yeah. I'd hope they'd put some jam or something and, I'd be licking it off you, Ben. Would you? Yeah. I'd hope they'd put some jam or something and we'd pretend it was just to, you know. Yeah, yeah. That'd be a nice way to do UFC, is just like wrestling, professional wrestling.

Yeah, I think they've already got that. Where it's all choreographed. Yeah. But just, Joel, you had a question for us. Yeah, $50,000, would you take a head kick from a UFC champion? All you've got to do is take a head kick, get knocked out, whatever,

$50,000 straight into your account, no tax, no dramas. Okay, so they've got one kick. One kick. So our arms down? I'm just going to stand there? Yeah, I don't think it really matters. You can't duck it?

No, you just have to stand there and take a head kick straight on. Oh, jeez, imagine that. For $50,000, though. $50,000. What do you reckon? Like, I don't want to... Like, how long are you knocked out for when you get knocked out?

Well, this guy who was the world champion, and I'm sure he's been strengthened and conditioned to taking these kicks. He was out for about 15 seconds, eyes open. It was pretty grim. It could kill you, couldn't it, really? Because producer Behams, he did say it's probably going to kill you. Like a mere mortal like us. 50's probably not enough.

50's a lot, though. but you're risking being killed here i say in the hypothetical what do you do what do you die for oh fifty thousand dollars so what's a lot of money you don't you don't have any you don't die you have a concussion obviously for like a month in perspective the fucking secret sound is worth fifty thousand dollars and you're saying put your life at risk. Well, you know, you wouldn't die. You wouldn't die. You'd probably have a head trauma for a while. But if you do die, your life insurance is paid by the UFC.

And it's great. Your family are well cared for. Am I eating all my meals through a straw? Well, that's the risk you're going to take for $50,000. I'm doing it. You're doing it for $50,000. No, I'm not. No, I'm not. Because then you'll use this audio and you'll be like, Israel for $50,000. I'm doing it. You're doing it for 50 grand. No, I'm not. No, I'm not. Because then you'll use this audio and you'll be like,

Israel Adesanya, who said he would take it? Well, yeah, I'd love to. But, you know, I know that we put you in a tackle bag costume and you ended up with a broken. Very frail. Frail individual. So I wouldn't, you know. The old me, maybe.

Oh, yeah, we'll get this. It'll be funny. Just take one cookbook. Come on. But that, yeah. Would you do it for $50,000? I don't know I don't know

Just know I'd have to do it blindfolded Yeah I couldn't stand there Watching it I'd rather not know Like I'd rather agree to it But just at any stage

They could pop out of nowhere And kick me In the next year Rather than just standing there Yeah Like I walk into work On a Monday I'm like, morning guys

Bang Someone's kicked me in the face That would be fine Would you rather Joseph Parker Just any time For the next year Punch me in the face that would be fine would you rather Joseph Parker just any time for the next year punch you in the back

of the head for $50,000 surprise no but then you've got 12 very anxious months like you're already on edge last thing we need to add to the mix

is a heavyweight champion is going to punch him out of the blue at any stage yeah I know but I like the surprise what about within a week within a week

yeah probably better. I'm probably more inclined. You can just pop up anywhere. Yeah. Joseph Parker. Oh, yeah. We'll go from that to talk about the Wiggles. The Wiggles join us on the podcast today.

They're a lot of fun, the Wiggles. Simon, how deep is his voice? So deep. It feels like Simon should be doing opera. I think he is classically trained, much like all of us, mate. We're all classically trained. He's classically trained. I think he is like an operatic, yeah.

Do you think his wildest dreams, he would have ended up doing what he's doing? He's like, I'm a classically trained operatic singer, but now making absolute bank. Like making his millions. And it's not to say that he couldn't do opera too it's not like he sounds like

he's not taking UFC kicks to the head or anything like that he's not having to have a conversation to fill in a podcast intro about taking kicks to the head

okay which one of the wiggles do you want to kick in the head no we're not going there we've all got to choose one no

as well as that I was going to go that octopus Gin Wigmore joins us as well she's awesome and she's got some great stories about No. As well as that. I was going to go that octopus. Gin Wigmore joins us as well. She's awesome. And she's got some great stories about Obama giving her a shout out, loving her music, and also stealing James Bond's jacket.

And her years owning and running a motel. Oh, yes. Yeah, crazy. Have a great day. Enjoy the show. Try not to get kicked in the head. A-grade celebrity chat with C-grade celebrity hosts. Jono and Ben on the hits.

Gin Wigmore. She's so cool. She's coming back for two awesome gigs March next year. One in Christchurch. It's called Selwyn Sounds in Lincoln, Domain. And one in the hut. It's called Hut Sounds in Brewtown featuring Gin Wigmore, Sir Dave Dobbins, Stella and the Hoodoo Gurus as well.

And Gin Wigmore joins us right now in the sweltering heat in America. She's walking a dog. How you doing? It's wild at the moment. Like there's no water and it's just roasting. No respite. There's just no clouds, just heat. 40 degrees heat every day. Because last time I read something about you was you were in like Palm Springs or somewhere close to that, which is in like the desert near Vegas area. Is that still the case? Yeah. Well, no, no, it's not the case anymore. I left there like two years ago now because I had a little hotel out there.

We heard you had a hotel. And it was just north of Palm Springs. Yeah, it was sick. It was this little like run down old boutique place. And then I zhuzhed it up, renamed it, did a whole big makeover and then had it for like two years and then sold it. And then you sold it. What is the biggest pain in the ass about running a motel though?

I imagine there's some days where you're like, oh God, I've got to unclog the shower drains. Yes. Yes. Yes. It's all of that. It's like there was no job I didn't do or get my hands into. Like I think the biggest one was like when you've got a real nasty customer who's just pissed, like their life just sucks, and then they're just mean,

and they want to just take it out on the person that, like anybody. It's hard because, you know, like when you've come from a completely different career as well, like music where you play and everyone's kind of stoked, hopefully, most of the time when you play for them. And then you go to a hotel and everyone's just like, their go-to is just pissed off about something. Man, this is such a different crowd tonight. Do people leave odd stuff in the rooms? Oh, man. We had so many things.

We had a nun who lived there for six months. Really? Far out. Yep. And then she wanted to stay one weekend that there was no room left in the hotel. Like someone had booked it for a wedding. So I just invited her to my house to stay with me. We watched The Bachelor.

Oh, that's so awesome, eh, Jim? You're coming to New Zealand because you've been trying to get back here. You know, you were going to perform some gigs and then obviously there's been this whole pandemic thing that we see everyone sick of talking about. So it's awesome that you're coming back March next year. Christchurch and the Hut as well

with the Hoodoo Gurus, Sir Dave Dobbins, Stella. It's going to be pretty cool to have you back. Oh, it's going to be so fun. Honestly, like I try to get back every year and it was weird kind of not being allowed to. What do you mean? I'm always going, I'm always allowed to go back to my home country. It's going to be good.

I'm leaving my babies behind in America. Who's looking after the babies? How many babies are we? How many babies? How many babies do I have now? No, I've only got two. They feel like six, you know. They're boys and they are like full on.

It's a handful. But I've got my husband. We'll be back. He's off tour and he comes back and then we cross over for one night and then I leave and then he goes back out. So it ships in the night. He's in a band too. He is.

He is in a band. Yeah, he's in a really cool band actually. Like way more hardcore and gnarly than I will ever be. But he is. Yeah, he's cool, man. I reckon he's the greatest performer of all time. I mean, I'm totally biased. But yeah, he's so rad.

Oh, that's awesome. Hey, because you've been in America for a while now. And I was reading last night a few years ago, President Obama selected one of your songs in his recommended playlist of the year. I mean, that's pretty crazy to have Obama giving you a shout out. Yeah, you know. You know, you know. He loves a bit of gin.

Do you know about this? Does this get released? Of course. I shouted that from the rooftops. It was so rad. I mean, Barack Obama is the coolest president, I reckon, of all time. I don't know. I always had these visions of him and Michelle just getting down to my tunes

and White House mode, you know? I hate to disappoint, but I don't know if you're going to be making Joe Biden's list. You don't think? No, I don't. I don't think. Am I the wrong Democrat? A little hand over heart, you know? Yeah, maybe.

A little sultry number. A little sultry. Was his wifey one night? So many crazy things, you know, amazing things you've done. You know, the James Bond commercial for a few years ago for Heineken. And you're in the air. Daniel Craig's in the air, who was James Bond. Did you guys cross paths?

We did. I actually pinched his coat by mistake. I was having a little sleep, a little power nap after a big day of filming, doing not very much but feeling like I was. Yeah. And had a little nap in the carriage thing that we were filming in. And it was cold as, so cold. And I saw this like luxurious blue coat.

I was like, I'll just use that. I'll just use that as a blanket. So I just pulled it over. And then all of a sudden Daniel Craig was looking for his, I don't know, like cashmere. I don't know, rare. Louis Vuitton. Super expensive coat in there.

So yes, I gave that back. So we did cross paths. The only interaction with Daniel Craig was awkwardly handing back his jacket. Has anyone seen my jacket? Yeah, no, that's, I'm sleeping on that. No, it was cool. God, you guys are going deep dive into what I've done in my life. I like it.

Well, when you were 12 years old, we understood you played for the Belmoral. Oh, my God. I found out, look, parents own chemists. Wow, you guys. First tattoo, age 14, with a fake ID. I went deep. I went deep, Jen. Oh, now I've lost it.

Now you've lost it. You made it weird. You made it creepy. Did I make it weird? We lost you. Am I back? You're back. Did I make it weird?

No one will blame you for hanging up right now, Jen. Yeah. It's like an auto filter, you know? It just blocks you out if you start saying weird shit. Okay, I'll wrap it up. I had a lot of questions, but now I'm too scared to ask them to you. Hey, Jen, we're so excited for you to come up. I had a lot of questions, but now I'm too scared to ask them to you. Hey, Jen, we're so excited

for you to come back. We love catching up with you and it'll be awesome for Kiwis to go along and see you perform with some amazing artists. Yes, thank you so much, guys. I appreciate the shout outs

and supporting the shows and all the good stuff. So thank you so much. And not afraid to use the F word. Be family, friendly, fun.

Jono and Ben on the hits. Now the Wiggles, they're back in New Zealand. The big show tour kicked off over the weekend. And we're joined by Anthony, Lockie, Simon and Sahai. Guys, you must be excited to be back in New Zealand and touring again. Yeah, we do. We always get excited. We can't wait.

I mean, particularly over the last couple of years, we're touring sort of grind to a halt to be back out on the road and back in New Zealand is amazing. So excited. Listen, I've been to a couple of Wiggle shows in the past, and it's a lot of energy at 10am on a Saturday morning. It's a lot to take in. Yeah, well, that's right. I mean, we're proudly sponsored by caffeine in the mornings.

And then we have a little afternoon nap. Well, some of you, even Lockie, you have naps during the show. I mean, there's the whole wake-up Lockie. Yeah, that's right. We're doing some driving on this tour too, so we've got the – there's a couple of big drives, like four hours. Yeah, I think so, yeah. So, yeah, we're doing north and south and driving all over,

which is a great way. You know, it's such a beautiful country and we get to see, you know. It is, but the big red car doesn't have a roof and it's so cold. I thought you were going to get the big red rental car or something. Now, Sahai, you're 16 years old and the Wiggles, you must have grown up watching the Wiggles. This must be a dream come true for you. Definitely, yes.

I grew up watching the Wiggles on repeat. It was always played around in the household. So I guess it makes singing and remembering songs a lot easier because it's kind of like muscle memory. But it's definitely a dream come true to be performing as a Wiggle now. Your life must have just changed over the past year or so. I mean, it's incredible. Definitely.

Touring and stuff has never been a part of my life, so getting used to that has been fun. I love it. I love when everything's busy and crazy, so I'm having the best time. At 16, I was still learning how to do the alphabet. Or you could be part of the Wiggles. Do you still have to juggle schoolwork,

or this is your full-time gig now? Well, I went to a full-time dance studio for most of my high school years. So I did studying online, and I danced for seven days a week. So I'm pretty used to having a busy schedule. So this has been pretty easy to fit in. Seven days a week is a lot of dancing.

It's a lot of dancing. You're here to perform for families all over New Zealand, but Anthony, you've been doing some adults-only shows. Yeah, the original Wiggles, Craig, Murray, Jeff and myself in Auckland, and then we're doing it in Christchurch. But anyway, what we do, we play the show exactly as we would. We play it straight, all the big hits like Fruit Salad, Toot Toot, Chugga Chugga. But the audience, they've grown up and they're not drinking cordial in the audience.

Now the audience will be Toot Toot, chugga chugging, big red wine. That's it. It's fantastic. It's so much fun. We did it around Australia and we said, we've got to go to New Zealand. It's going to be fun. Now, Simon, you're running a very deep voice. Yes.

And we wanted to see how deep you can go. Okay. It's so deep, the Zoom mic has cut out. He's blown Zoom. Blown Zoom. We've got the Wiggles with us. Lockie, I want to say, what's the thing that you've seen your face on, because you guys are

on a lot of merchandise, that you're just like, oh my goodness my face is on this. What's the one thing that stands out? Nappies or a toothbrush. It's pretty bizarre the first time around. I've always wanted a lucrative nappy deal endorsement. Funnily enough, the original Wiggles, they have an adult nappy deal.

Yeah, we won't hold you up too much longer. Before you go, we wanted to be kind of like you guys, to write a song, and we've kind of updated one of your songs. So we thought, thought you know the big red car great song but obviously people are getting into electric cars now yeah so we thought maybe we need to make it a bit more 2022 there's some lyrics there can we up to you so you can see our lyrics our effort got it wow feel free to join in uh if you want okay now please don't sue us for any plagiarism. No. Okay, so it goes. We don't want a big red lawsuit.

Okay. Toot, toot, charger, charger, EV car. We'll go as long as the batteries charge. Toot, toot, charger, charger, EV car. All the CO2 has gone. Come on, guys, let's sing. Toot, toot, charger, charger, EV car. Our emissions are six stars We've updated our song

It works. Here we go. So lovely to see you guys. We're huge fans. New Zealand loves having you back. All the best for the tour. Thank you. It's great to see you. Thank you. See you guys. We're huge fans. New Zealand loves having you back. All the best for the tour. Thank you. Thank you. See you guys.

Yeah, the wiggles. Thank you. What a great way to make Monday less miserable, eh? Get the Wiggles on every Monday. How cool was that? If you want to catch the video of that, it'll be up today on the Hits Breakfast on Instagram and social media. It is the Hits. You've got Jono and Ben.

If you're a guy here for romantic advice, you are in serious trouble. Jono and Ben on the Hits. On Saturday night, I had, well, it was a fun night but it was a night where you're like, jeez, you know,

when you feel like you're growing up and these things, you know. You're lame. You're old. Yeah. I've had lots of those nights.

Well, see, because my wife and I decided that we were going to go out for dinner and we got a new babysitter over so we hadn't been out for dinner for a while and so we got a babysitter

to come around and there was a place up the road from our place that we wanted to try we hadn't been to it was just a quick walk and we're like it'd be cool to go out for dinner they do these little tuppers sharing dishes it looks awesome so we thought let's go try this place i'm never full enough on tuppers you gotta order you either order too much or not enough yeah there's never yeah you never get the balance right yeah but we had the new babysitter came over and she came over just before six o'clock.

And she was like, I'll sort dinner for the kids. It's all good. You guys go up the road, have fun. She was like, what time do the kids need to go to bed? And we're like, oh, it's the weekend, you know. But 9.30, whatever, you know, something like that. When they get tired, that's fine. And so we go up the road.

It was only a couple-minute walk. We're sort of seated at the restaurant by 6 o'clock, just after 6 o'clock. Oh, Jesus. Yeah. When you're knocking on the door of a you know a 5am dinner yeah turn on coro yeah settle down with the chase well this is the thing and this place was quite busy and like it's just but she's they were proficient like we ordered our drinks and within three minutes our drinks arrived oh okay and then like would you like to order some food we're like yeah sweet and within 15 minutes our food like tuppers a whole lot had like, would you like to order some food? We were like, yeah, sweet. And within 15 minutes, our food, like tapas, a whole lot, had all arrived. Wow.

You were out by 6.18. Yeah, well, that's just the thing. They were like, well, get another drink. And then by 6.45, we were done. Like, I was full. We'd had two drinks. You know, I was like, we're done. This is 6.45.

And I'm like, we're a three-minute walk from our house. We're very close. So you're back by 6.50. Yeah, and we were like, well, there's no one else. We'll go around for another drink. This is the only place. So we're like, we're going to have to walk home. And I'm like, we can't walk in.

I'll say to Amanda, my wife, I can't. She's like, it's so lame. We go to it back up like 50 minutes after they left. Oh, what a wonderful evening. You know, it was fun. We shall relieve you of your duties. I'm like, I don't want to look lame in front of the babysitter. And I had this conversation with my wife outside the house.

She's like, why are you so concerned with how the babysitter thinks you're cool or not? You're not. Just get on with it. You lost that when you moved to 7.30. Exactly. The TV show. She's like, it doesn't matter. I'm like, so we walked back into the house pretty much an hour after we left.

The kids hadn't even eaten. We're just about to eat. They're like, did you forget something? We were like, no, we're all done. Wonderful evening. The look of confusion on the babysitter's face was just like, what are you? If you go to bed by 7.30, you've just

described the most perfect romantic evening. It was fun, don't get me wrong, but it was all over and done so quickly. It was high impact. It was like, don't have to worry about putting all Over and done So quickly It was high impact Yeah And it was like Don't have to worry About putting the kids to bed Because we'll be there

With plenty of time To do that It was like the T20 Of romantic dinners Yeah Yeah so anyway I had a big conversation With my wife

About trying to look cool And I'm not cool anymore Oh that babysitter Was going around town Telling everyone How lame you are My friend Man it was back

Before seven o'clock. Jono and Ben, the bold and the beautiful. On the hits. Note, may not be beautiful. We've had a text come through from Lucy, who joins us now on 0800. Now, this is interesting. Lucy, you're having a wedding.

And there's a dilemma around the invites. Are you there? Hi! I was doing a lot of heavy lifting there. I thought that was a champagne. I'll lead you in. Pick up the ball and you run with it now, Luce. Well, okay, so the problem is

I want to invite my friend, but I don't want to invite her husband. We see each other kind of very rarely. He got to dinner, but he's neither there. Is it okay if I don't invite him? Right, and who would take that spot? Well, he's had a list of other friends from my school

and from my dance classes that could come. So it's kind of a valuable seat that he's taking up. Right, so what you've got here, what you're dealing with here is, you know, you want to potentially invite your friend's partner, but you would replace him with another fringe guest. Because let's be honest, if we're talking about replacing him, these aren't your top 20. These aren't your top 20 friends.

So you're replacing a hubby with a fringe, which then you're like, will your friend get upset if the husband doesn't come? That's a risk. Right. I see, yeah. I mean, it's your wedding. Because the people that you're going to replace him with,

they're not on the invite list already. So they're bit players. They're part of the wider squad, aren't they? They are, but they have more of a significance to me because i have my own history with them whereas this guy he's kind of no disrespect no disrespect to this guy i'm sure he's a great person yeah no i get it though but you're right with the party because obviously you've got friends that you want to invite your friends as opposed to inviting the partner of a

friend you want to get more of your friends to the wedding absolutely oh listen it's you know do you want me to be honest he probably doesn't want to go You don't want to invite him He doesn't want to go But we all feel like we need to do this dance Well, she might be right Honestly, he might be like I don't know people as much as you So maybe you'll be doing this person a favour

In some ways But I know it's quite an awkward conversation Because your friend might be like Why haven't you invited my husband? Okay, let's open up the phone, shall we? We're a big family here at The Hits this person a favour in some ways. But I know it's quite an awkward conversation because your friend might be like, why haven't you invited my husband? Okay, let's open up the phone, shall we? We're a big family here at The Hits. So tight that anyone listening right now,

they'll lend us money if we're in financial strife, Ben. That's how tight we are. Oh, really? Yeah, that's how loyal this family is, okay? We're like Vin Diesel in Fast and Furious. So, 0800 The Hits. Are you going to help Lucy out? Does she invite her friend's husband? Or does she replace him

with someone she likes better? Can you invite just someone, you know, by themselves if they've got a partner to a wedding? You can. Yeah, I know. You can, but I think there's the obligation isn't there for some reason. I don't know.

Why? Exactly. I agree with you. But someone set the standard long ago that you must invite the partners. If I had my way, I wouldn't, Ben. It's just the laws of the wedding invite. Okay, we'll find out what the hits, Fano, think next.

Oh, 800-THE-HITS, 4487. It's Jono and Ben. Mature, responsible, and considerate. Three words we sadly can't use here. Jono and Ben on the hits just had lucy on she needs a bit of a help uh oh no 800 the hits uh she's getting married obviously it's always tough to decide on who gets to go to the wedding you know because you'd love to invite everyone but you can't do that and she's saying on this occasion that uh her friend she's i want

to invite a friend but not particularly the partner nothing against the partner just that she doesn't know him as well as some of her other friends. I get it. So she wants to slot him out, do a bit of a rotation, slot him out and then slot one of her friends in there. You know, there was a lot of downsides to COVID, Ben. We don't need to highlight those. But one of the highlights was you knew where you stood in someone's pecking order because we had that 100 person limit yeah you know and if you were killed from a wedding you're like jesus i'm not even sorry i'm not even inside the top 100 sorry about that mate but yeah it was tough but it was good

now i know where i stand yeah right but you work hard you'll get back in there oh well i'll work hard yeah i'll try and get my inside the top 50 at least now uh you had a wedding overseas didn't you that was smart play because you can invite anyone. You're like, yeah, you've just got to make your way over. And they naturally whittled themselves down anyway, but I get it. I mean, there's many weddings that my wife Amanda's been to that I haven't been invited to, that I don't know

the person as well. I'm cool with that. I don't mind. I don't mind at all. There's been a couple where she was a bridesmaid, and then I got invited, but they're probably like, oh, we didn't want that weird bald guy there anyway, but they felt obliged. That's then I got invited but they're probably like oh we didn't want that weird bald guy there anyway but they felt obliged and that's what I'm saying, you're saying you can invite who you want, I'm saying there's some sort of deal that was made

with some wedding person back in the day that you're obliged to invite the partners but Catherine what do you think? How can Lucy handle this situation? Does she not invite the hubby? I think she definitely should I was a maid of honour for my best friend and she didn't invite my

husband. It was a bit of a, yeah, but now nearly 10 years later, our family is a best friend and it's always a bit of a joke that he never was there, but he's like a really easygoing guy. But she's also not very close

with any of the people at the wedding. Yeah, that's another thing. You've got to look at who are you going to be seeing in five, ten years' time. It's hard to predict, obviously. But, you know, most of the people you don't see. So your husband obviously wasn't good enough back then to be invited, but has he worked his way up the list? Yeah.

He's like, oh, yeah, he feels all right about it now, but it took him a few years. Was it all keys for you? It definitely was. I mean, it was a long weekend

intimate thing and I ended up leaving the next day because I just, it was a bit of a drama, but you know, we got through it. Okay,

got through it. Now you're all besties. Yeah, yeah, besties, but like family now, so, and I mean,

she's not very close with the other guests and I'm like, oh, well, I bloody told you so. Yeah, you, besties. We're like family now, so. And I mean, she's not very close with the other guests, and I'm like, oh, well, I bloody told you so. Yeah, you made your choice, but that's good. Second time you've mentioned that, Catherine. Getting your point across again still. Love it. I'll always drop it. Oh, good on you, mate.

You look after Whakatane, okay? Yeah, go ahead. Thanks. Good on you, Catherine. That was interesting. She's saying invite the hubby. Lee, we'll get you on for the manawatu. Welcome.

Hi. Yeah, all right. Does Lucy invite her friend's husband, or she can kill him from the list? I think she should take him off the list. Okay. What's your reasoning behind that? I think you spend so much money on a wedding. They are definitely not cheap, and I think you should only have who you really want there.

I mean, I'm not even inviting my dad's wife to my wedding next year and I think you know, it's only who you really want there and if you don't want them there, if you're not close with them, cut them off the list. And apologies to your dad's wife. This is a hell of a way to find out.

But you're not coming to the wedding. Yeah, hopefully she's not listening. Yeah, well, I get what you're saying. It is a lot of money. And as John, I said before, there's probably a part of that person that goes, well, actually, I don't know anyone anyway. It's going to be a bit awkward. You know, like, I don't mind if I don't get invited.

So, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's what you can tell yourself to make yourself feel better, Lee. No, thank you very much for your call. Are you looking forward to that conversation with your dad? Have you had it yet? Haven't yet. I'm a little bit nervous, but we'll find out, I guess.

Oh, consider this a good dress rehearsal. Yeah, exactly. Good on you, Lee. You look after yourself. Have a great week. Thank you, you too. There we go. So a 50-50 split.

Oh, so we can't end it on a 50-50 split Okay, we'll take one more call to make the decision How was your thing when you rang up the hits to get help? I don't know, it was 50-50 Tess, you're the decider Does Lucy uninvite her friend's husband from the wedding? Nah, she has to invite him Oh, he's coming

Okay He's coming Last minute. Why should he, Tess? As soon as you marry someone, you're a two-for-one deal, aren't you? He's coming. All right. Tess has said it.

Thank you, Lucy. We've got a decision, Ben. Good luck, Lucy. This is the Jono and Ben podcast. Wall-to-wall talking without the niggly popular songs in between. Now, on Friday afternoon, the hits, of course, were looking for the best song ever, and Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody took it out. Epic tune.

It was an epic tune. Best song ever. According to you guys, thanks to everyone that voted, we're going to play it in its entirety after 8 o'clock this morning. Really enjoyed that countdown. It was erratic. You would go from ACDC, Thunderstruck taking on Celine Dion, it's all coming back to me.

It reminded me of a party where everyone had access to the Spotify playlist. But that's music, isn't it? There's so many different styles of music. So it was awesome. So we've decided on the best song ever. But this morning we wanted to decide on 800 The Hits on the worst song ever. Because we want to do a wee experiment. It's a bit of a social experiment.

Matt Anderson, who runs the music here. Runs a tight ship on the music. Loves the music. He's all across the music. Don't mess with the music here. Runs a tight ship on the music, doesn't he? Loves the music. He's all across the music. Don't mess with the music. So what we want to do is we want to get your votes on 0800 The Hits for the worst song ever. Now, we want to start playing this song on the radio,

and we'll only stop when Matt Anderson, our music man, music man Matt, phones through. No, he probably will phone through right away because he seems to be always listening but we'll see we'll see okay now we're not monsters because we know this is Matt's commute time so we give it it's fair play

okay so we want to put some nominations out there for the worst song ever I'll go with Crazy Frog have we got that around Producer Joel I mean like the song was catchy. I love Beverly Hills Cop, so it's sort of a throwback to that style.

But the fact that he had his little crazy frog and tadpoles out for the video that we never knew. I was like, I don't know. He had his jennies out

and no one ever noticed it at the time until someone brought it up two years ago. And they're like, this frog was wandering around trouserless. It was crazy.

It was crazy. And was crazy. We were crazy for letting him into our lives. I mean, that made an impact. Whether it was a good one, it's kind of like the Jono and Bena music, Crazy Frog. It was there, it did some stuff. Was it good or bad? Who's to decide? But yeah, that's a good nomination, Ben. Looking online,

Limp Bizkit, Nookie was nominated as the worst song ever very angry for a Monday morning isn't it yeah what they did

Limp Bizkit is they paved the way for the likes of Nickelback to have a career of mockery didn't they they really did some hard yards

in terms of being mocked we've got some calls and texts coming through we're looking for the worst song ever we want to play it in its entirety next to see if Matt the Boss

will stop it. Stacey's joining us from Impicago. Are you going to vote for bloody Marcus Lush for mayor? Yeah, he's running for mayor, isn't he? I'm not sure about that yet. I know, you take your time. Do your research. Who else is in the Is Shadbolt going back for another round?

Yes, he is. Who else is in the mix? I'm not sure. I haven't really paid any attention to that. You sound like most of us. Yeah. I'm just going to tick names that I think I like the sound of. Yeah, I think I'm the shit. Anyway, that's all we're here to talk about.

We're here to talk about the worst song ever. Yep. What is it for you? What do you think is the worst song that we should play and then see how far we get through before our boss calls? The worst song would definitely have to be What Does the Fox Say? Now, What Does the Fox Say? We came in an international smash hit, and correct me if I'm wrong, Ben,

were they like the Swedish version of You and Me? Yeah. And they hosted a comedy show And they just wrote this song As a joke It's a bit of a late night Yeah I think a late night TV show A chat show

And they did They wrote this as a joke And the joke ended When they started earning 25 million dollars For having a number one hit I guess the whole concept Was the fact

You don't really know What noise a fox says Isn't it to do with Isn't it to do with You know The devil's compost Oh I didn't know that I thought that was the meaning

Behind the song Oh I just thought it was like Cows that say moo And such and such go You know I thought it was just Education And that's why I love you

Yeah That's because I love you A raspy bark If you're wondering I've just googled it A raspy bark The foxes say What does the fox say

Meaning Oh did you know Oh here you go Here you go I'll help you out here The fun fact is Marijuana Is actually The Norwegian word for fox. Oh, there we go.

So there's your connection. There is a connection there, but I don't know if it was a thing, but there you go. Stargate, who's written songs for Beyonce, Rihanna, and Katy Perry, helped write that song. Really? Interesting. Change your mind on it now, Stace? Oh, no. Stacey was like, have you forgotten

I've been on here the whole time? You kind of got into a bit of a hole about I just need to get to work. I've got stuff to do. Stacey, we're going to send you out some hell pizza.

They are delivering beer and wine, okay? Perfect. Thank you, Stace. All right, 100 of the hits. The social experiment to see how far we can get through

the worst song ever. We need to decide on the song that we're going to play after this one, which is a good song. We are young. It is the hits. The Jono and Ben podcast.

The world's number one podcast. Please don't check those stats. The best song ever was decided by the hits on Friday. It was Queen, Bohemian Rhapsody this morning. We want to decide on the worst song ever. We want to see how far we can get through playing it in its entirety before Matt from one of our bosses here hits. Music Man Matt.

Music Man Matt. You know, he'll stop if he calls on 0800 the hits, so we can block the phone lines. Could be 0800 the hits if you want to block it. So we're going to get onto this very shortly. Now, a lot of votes coming through on 4487 for my humps. Now, despite Fergie wanting us to check out her lovely lady lumps, not many people wanted to

by all accounts. I take my lumps to the doctor and I don't think they want to check them out either. How are the hits? Baby Shark. So catchy though, isn't it? It is catchy. A good song to play for the worst

song ever. Yeah. I like it. I like it when it kicks in, you know, everyone joins in. What is it about that song for you?

Childhood memories. The thing with the kids, they're high impact on a fad, aren't they, the kids? Fidget spinners. 300 fidget spinners.

Roblox. Get any Roblox, right? Four cardboard boxes of fidget spinners in the attic, and then, yeah, Roblox, you did right, and Baby Shark came in. It came in hard. It came in short, but it was intense.

Yeah, it was. Wasn't it? That's a great song. I think that's our frontrunner so far. Thank you so much for your call. Thank you. Renee. Okay. Love you, mate. Cool, call. Thank you. Renee. Okay.

Love you, mate. Cool, thanks. Love you. See ya. Love you. Love you. You too. You too.

That's all I was waiting for. I was just waiting for you too. She was just trying to palm it off with a, cool, see ya. No, no, no. When I say love you, you say you too. Okay.

Love you. You too. Yeah, good on ya. See ya, mate. Bye. Bye. Oh, yeah, Yeah, it's a good idea. See you, mate. Bye. Bye. Oh, yeah, mate, they're all good. Okay, here we go.

So should we do that one? Well, looking at 4487, 80% of the texts say Baby Shark. Okay. So we're locking in Baby Shark. Now, if you just joined us, we're playing the worst song ever off the back of the best song ever countdown. Music man Matt Anderson, who runs all the music here on the hits, runs it with a tight, tight fist.

You won't like this at all. No, this is going way off the plan. So we're going to start playing it and we keep playing until Matt phones up on 0800THETHITS but of course if you phone 0800THTHITS just for a chat you may block Matt from playing, from calling up but that's up to you. Okay. Let's kick it off. Here we go. Okay. Baby Shark.

The whole song. How long is it producer? A one minute 34 seconds. Jeez there's only 90 seconds and it's got so, here we go. Okay. Baby Shark. The whole song. How long is it, producer? One minute, 34 seconds. Oh, it's not long. Jeez, it's only 90 seconds and it's got so much hate. Yeah. Here we go. Matt, you can stop the madness. Anyone, is he calling?

Is he calling? Oh, God. Still no man. It's still there. We're getting through, baby shark. Come on. Ellie Robable, the shark. Come on. He'll be roperable if he missed this later today. He can stop us at any time, the madness.

I like it when it kicks up that gear. Let's go hunt. Let's go hunt. Let's go hunt. Let's go hunt. Let's go hunt. Let's go hunt. I think we're going to do it. Someone's calling. 20 seconds to go.

Safe at last. Safe at last. Are we safe at last? We made it to the end. It's the end. They're even singing it's the end. End of our careers. And the end of Baby Shark.

We got through the worst song ever, but music man Matt didn't call up. He's always listening. There's a lot of hate for that song on the text machine. Now, Baby Shark did more damage to the shark community than a Japanese fishing trawler didn't it? Well thank you very much Matt Anderson is going to listen back to that on the computer and not be happy. He won't be happy about that. Mmm. Coffee breath. Jono and Ben on the hits. This morning

can I just bring something to everyone's attention here. Producer Joel three weeks deep into the show. How are you enjoying it my friend? It's really good. You're loving it. He has to say that live on the air. Yeah he does. Sophie. I don't know what he's saying behind the scenes. How are you enjoying it, my friend? It's really good. You're loving it, loving it. He has to say that live on the air. Yeah, he does. I don't know what he's saying behind the scenes. Not that.

I've noticed something about Joel. You may have noticed this too, Ben. He drinks the same mysterious pink-looking liquid every morning and it kind of sort of

resembles cleaning fluid. I don't know. What is it? What is it in glass? It's like a Barocca. It's like some vitamin water type of thing you should put the drop the dissolving pill into water and uh yeah it tastes kind of nice feels good start to the day good start to the day apparently it's really healthy for you as well so that's good get some vitamin c's in

nice and early get them in early in the week you know start the week right yeah do you have the same thing every morning like it's such a routine the morning is such a routine isn't not the same thing no no i would have you know like more coffee every morning but i do it's such a routine. The morning is such a routine, isn't it? Not the same thing. No. No, I would have, you know, like, more coffee every morning. But I do mix it up. Like, yeah, I do mix it up for breakfast. Yeah.

I pretty much, I save one up and go. One up and go every morning. And I'm up and I'm going. That's it. That's it. Yeah. That's all you eat until dinner time. Chocolate up and go.

Yeah. Chocolate as well, too. The fuel that I need. Or choc-ice to be. Yeah. Yeah, well, too. The fuel that I need. Or choc-ice to be here. Yeah. Yeah, not just full chocolate. Well, I was wondering, like, breakfast time. Not muesli, not bananas, not some fruit.

Do you have any fruit during the day? Yeah, I chuck some. Now they're not that consistent on the fruit. Yeah. I'm getting maybe a two plus a day. Two plus a day. Just like the situation. Not hitting the full five.

But I wanted to chuck it open, okay? This is your sixie and you know it. Our special six o'clock club. Are you eating the same thing every morning? And how long have you done it for? The same breakfast. I was actually looking into that before. Apparently there's a lot of good things

about having the same thing every morning because there's a theory called decision-making fatigue. fatigue whereas by the end of the day if you're making lots of decisions you sometimes get the wrong decisions so by having the same breakfast every day it's not a bad thing because you're not making a decision so therefore later on with the more important decisions you might not screw it up yeah like should i run a red light no don't yeah thank god i had a piece of toast this morning. Choc ice. I had my choc ice every morning. Like a seven-year-old.

Oh, I don't know if that's a telephone number. Yeah, same breakfast every morning. Same breakfast. The other thing, too, with food is, for whatever reason, our taste buds have time-zoned certain foods. True. Like, I'm not waking up and having a spaghetti bolognese. No. It would be, or a seafood marinara.

No, you're right. When technically nothing should stop you, but it wouldn't taste as good as it would at lunchtime or dinnertime. You're right. You kind of get into your breakfast foods, your lunch foods, but maybe someone on 0800 The Hits does things differently.

Look out! Scary dinosaurs. Not Jurassic Park. It's these guys. Jono and Ben on The Hits. We're going to know this morning. Oh, 800 the hits for anyone up and about at our six o'clock club. The six. You're sixy and you know it. Who has the same breakfast every morning?

People getting up and having breakfast. I didn't actually realize. I didn't think about it. But breakfast is to break the fast. Break fast of not eating overnight. I didn't really thought about why it's called breakfast. This reminds me of the same day that I learned that Flo Rida was Florida.

Yeah. Makes a lot of sense. You're breaking your fast of not eating overnight. It makes all the sense, but you never really, I don't know why you'd ever think about it. That's why it's called breakfast. So you're very entrenched in your breakfast routine. Have you had the same thing consistently for years?

Someone else backing up their choc ice on the up and go as well? Yeah, regularly every day. Are they eight years old or not? Do we get an age on that person on 4487? Cherie, you're on from Wellington. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Kia ora. Good morning, John.

I'm Ben. Good to have you on. Same thing every morning. What is it, Cherie? I have vitamin supplements. I have fruit juice, and I've got to have a coffee. Got to have a coffee every morning. Supplements, fruit juice, coffee, and she sounds like she is pinging.

Ready to go for the day. You ready to straddle Monday, Cherie? I love listening to you guys. Oh, we love you too, mate. Appreciate you. You have a great day. Okay, thank you. Thanks.

You're 60 and you know it, Cherie. Welcome to the 6 o'clock club. We've got Sarah too, mate. Appreciate you. You have a great day. Okay, thank you. Thanks. You're 60 and you know it, Cherie. Welcome to the 6 o'clock club. We've got Sarah on the phone. Good morning. Good morning. I'm great. How are you guys? Good. Now, do you eat exactly the same breakfast every day? I do, and I kind of eat pretty much the same food all day

rather than just breakfast as well. Okay, so let's talk us through. What's Sarah eating over a day? And I'm a weirdo, so let's talk us through. What's Sarah eating over a day? And I'm a weirdo, so I actually eat broccoli and cauliflower every morning for breakfast. Oh, so that's your breakfast, broccoli? I mean, very healthy.

I love a broccoli, I love cauliflower, but that's unusual breakfast foods. Yeah, well, I'm a vegetarian, and I'm kind of carb-free, so I try something that's going to fill me up so I do a big plate of broccoli and collie with cheese on it so you heat the broccoli up yep steamed yep steamed nice this is a huge commitment for morning tea broccoli and yeah okay okay and so then after that I work from home so I can gotcha so that's your breakfast it's sort of a late breakfast and

then what are you doing you're doing a lunch um I don't breakfast. It's sort of a late breakfast. And then what are you doing? You're doing a lunch? I don't do that sort of breakfast lunch. I only eat then. And then in the evening, I tend to have fish and maybe egg and then some other veggies. Do you mix it up? How long have you been eating this diet? A couple of years. I just, I find things I like

and I stick with them And you haven't got sick of like you're not like this morning you know what I'm going to have a muesli or I'm going to have or a burger

Yeah Sometimes I'd kill for toast but I don't really eat bread Would you recommend it? Would you recommend that as a breakfast? Oh I love it I mean I love it

and it sets you up especially if you have a good amount of it and you've kind of got grated cheese on top and it's a it sets you up, especially if you have a good amount of it and you've kind of got grated cheese on top. And it's a great breakfast. Yeah, right. And what if you go to a restaurant or something?

Ooh, I'm a real pain in the neck at a restaurant, and my friends tend to not even invite me to dinner because I'm such a pain in the neck. I tend to do things like eat the side veggies, and, yeah, that's about it. Interesting. Consistency is the key to success, Sarah. No, I don't know if it's very successful. Thank you very much, mate. You're going to have a great day.

Yeah, you too. Appreciate all your early morning texts and calls. Scrolling through your feed. Oh, it's time for scrolling through your feed already. The show is mowing on. Our nicknames around here, do you know what they call us, Ben? What's that? The anchors.

Not because we anchor news bulletins, because we're dead weight and we're holding everyone back. Welcome. Now, a lot of talk over the weekend about Finland's Prime Minister, Santa Marin. She's 36 years old and she was seen in the leaked video dancing, singing, having a party with her friends. The video goes around, it just looks like people doing some TikTok videos, having a great time having a party with her friends and like like the video goes around it just looks like people doing some tiktok videos having a great time at a party and then later you're like oh that's the finnish prime minister now this has caused a bit of you know i guess debate some people think it's fine they're like she's a real person she's allowed to have a party

other people going is that the right look for a prime minister to be you know to be partying it up to be drinking up to be making dancing videos around. Obviously she didn't intend for these videos to be leaked. Somewhere the party has leaked it. I don't want any of our leaders having a good time. That's my number one rule. They must lead a bleak, boring, bland life. 36 is young.

Yeah, 36 is young. It looks like she's having a great time. I think good on her. If she's going to have a great time. I guess the only question, one of the big questions is if there was a national emergency, is she in a fit state? That's the question that people were asking to sort things out. But yeah, I was like, well, man, if she's going on a holiday and she's going to have a fun time, then good on her.

She got into Parliament at age 34. Sometimes you're like, why? Like, I look at younger people than me. I'm 40, six years older than her. And I even look at teenagers nowadays. And I'm like, you're more grown up than I am at 40. And it makes me feel sad about myself and my life decisions. Don't you find that?

Sometimes. If you look at kids at school now and you're like, they're a lot more advanced and grown up and making wiser decisions than we ever did. Yeah. That's a good thing. Hey, don't get we ever did. Yeah, that's a good thing. Hey, don't get me wrong, great thing. It's a great thing. But it really humbles me as a fully grown man. And Will Smith, after a wee bit of a break, after the whole Oscars slap thing that went on,

he's come back to social media. He posted a couple of weeks ago an apology video, answered some questions about the Chris Rock incident. Well, then he's posted a couple of videos over the weekend. The first was sort of a video of a baby gorilla poking a large adult gorilla, sort of walking up gingerly to the adult gorilla and sort of poking it behind and sort of getting slapped away. And he captioned that going, me trying to get back on social media. So should I do it?

Should I do it? Should I not? But then him and his son, 29-year-old son Trey, encountered a massive spider, and they put a video up on Instagram over the weekend. This, the whole hell. And this is just over here. What the whole hell.

That is a big-ass spider. That's a tarantula. And I'm up on the chair. All right, Trey, you You gotta get that out of here Come on You're young and strong You can handle the bite It is massive

This thing is massive And so then they try to get it They try to put a cup over the spider A huge transfer Or wherever they were staying And then they try to put The piece of paper Underneath the cup

To try and get the thing out Are you the spider removal Expert in your household? No, no. No, I am, but I hate it. I hate getting rid of bugs. Yeah. But everyone else is like, there was no signed contract,

there was no prearranged agreement. I just kind of have to do it, and I just hope. I'm just like, come on, mate, let's work together. You know, you just kind of secretly have a word to the insect or the bug or whatever. Isn't it weird hearing Will Smith have fun? Is it odd? Is it odd for you?

Well, much like the Finnish Prime Minister. Is he allowed to have fun now? He's allowed to have fun. But it feels weird listening to him. I'm glad he's having fun. Well, I'm sure his life's not all roses. But I'm sure you can have these moments where... You've got to forgive and forget, don't you?

You can't keep punishing yourself forever. People make mistakes. Yeah. That's right. You go and have more fun, Will Smith, all right? Yeah. Are you back in your good books now, Ben? Oh, well, hey, you know, slowly, slowly getting back there.

Are you dusting off the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air outfit that you have? Yeah, I've got the shorts and shirt, so maybe, maybe. Are you ready for that now? I'm getting closer to it. Yeah. Well, forgive and forget, as you say. I want to see those out at summertime. Yeah, summertime.

We plug our motivational cable into your socket and charge you up for the week. Michelle Obama, she's done all right in life. Yeah, she's done really well, hasn't she? Really good first lady, Michelle Obama, wasn't she? Yeah. I was lost in a hole

over the weekend of Michelle Obama speeches and every time she talks, she's like, I'm like, Michelle Obama, you've changed my life. Every time,

every speech, every speech she does. I wonder why, you know, she could run. There was talk of it. Yeah. But then,

no, I think she's like, oh, I've watched him do it. I'd never want to do that job. Yeah, right. Because I imagine it's a pretty full-on job. Pretty demanding. And you go, well, if he's gone and done it, that was probably the sacrifice the family made for those eight years.

Does she want to go and do another eight? I don't know. I'm not inside the Obama household. I don't know how that conversation would play out. But anyway, she's doing a speech to a bunch of university graduates. And this is what we want you to take into your week this week. I want you to ask those basic questions. Who do you want to be?

What inspires you? How do you want to give back? And then I want you to take a deep breath and trust yourselves to chart your own course and make your mark on the world. Maybe it feels like you're supposed to go to law school, but what you really want to do is teach little kids. I want you to listen to those thoughts. I want you to act with both your mind, but also your heart. And no matter what path you choose, I want you to make sure it's you choosing it and not someone else.

Thanks, Michelle Obama. Is the music there live when she's doing that inspirational speech, or did someone add that in? I'm packing it was live, Ben. Every time she talks, she demands a 26-piece orchestra to play emotionally. Very good though, isn't it?

So as you're driving to work this morning, turn around. Turn around and go and teach little children. Well, no. Is that the message? No, it's like choose the life that you want. Make sure it's the life that you want

not that somebody else wants for you. Which is good. It's bloody inspirational, Michelle Obama. The life that you want. Make sure it's the life that you want, not that somebody else wants for you. Yeah. It's a good one. It's bloody inspirational, Michelle Obama. Motivational Monday. Are you living the life that you want? Kia ora, I'm Sam Worthington and this is The Beeping News. Ah yes, this is where we get respected journalist Sam Worthington who studied 18 years

to become a newsreader to lower his standards. 18 years? 18 years, that's right, to lower his standards. And beep out some news headlines. Morena, Sam. Kia ora, guys. Thanks for having me. Kia ora to you, Morena. Now, we don't know you, Sam.

We're like ships in the night. We're ships in the night, aren't we? In the morning, we kind of go good morning to each other, and then you go into the news booth. Tell us about Sam. Jeez, it feels like she's already got the job, mate. What is Sam's five-year plan? Hold on, I'll just check my interview questions.

Okay, one fun fact. What's your favourite hobby? My favourite hobby? Eating. Eating, yeah. That's a good hobby to have. Sorry, this is like a weird first date. I'm sorry, Sam.

I didn't mean to put it. That was really good. Now, what have you done for us? Tell us one fun fact about you, Ben. Let's get to to put it. It was really good. Now, what have you done for us? Well, tell us one fun fact about you, Ben. Let's get to know each other. It's really hard to think of a fun fact about me. I thought of what we've been talking about a lot lately. I wore a duvet cover to the school ball and made that into pants, a waistcoat, and a bandana.

So, you know, that was embarrassing. That's a fun fact about you? Yeah, yeah. Would you have gone to the ball with a man? Looney Tunes duvet fashioned into a... Don't answer that. I know you know, that was embarrassing. That's a fun fact about you. Would you have gone to the ball with a man? Looney Tunes duvet fashioned into a... Don't answer that. I know the answer to that. Don't answer that. What about yourself? What's a fun fact about you?

You know what? I started this game and I haven't got anything. Alright. Well, we have been... Sam, you'll be looking through the actual news and some of the quirky news and you've got some news headlines that we're trying to guess what the word beeped out is. All right.

What's the first headline? So the first one is pregnant woman horrified to discover knife in her. Oh, OK. I'm going to go pregnant woman horrified to discover knife in her toaster, which I don't know why we need to zero in on the fact she's pregnant, but maybe that's important to the story. Knife in the toaster. Which I don't know why we need to zero in on the fact she's pregnant, but maybe that's important to the story. Knife in the toaster. I'm going to say horrified to find her knife was in Alanis Morissette's house because she was looking for a knife. Remember that song, Ironic? She had

10,000 spoons and all she needed was a knife. And it was hiding in Alanis' drawer. That's what I'm hoping it's going to be. I feel like we're wrong. No. So it was in her subway sub. Oh, she actually had a sub and it was in there? sub Oh she actually had a sub And it was in there Yeah

It was a tuna sub And it turns out That the staff there Left it in there Do you think that people Like I always have a theory That sometimes people Just plant these things

Oh look there's a You know A guard A gumboot Inside my Big Mac Yeah Just to get a news headline And a free Big Mac

At the back end as well Also the headline Why does it matter If she's pregnant or not Yeah well there's some things You can't eat when you're pregnant So I'm guessing a knife Is one of them Yeah News headline and a free Big Mac at the back end as well. Also the headline, why does it matter if she's pregnant or not? Yeah, well, there's some things you can't eat when you're pregnant, so I'm guessing a knife is one of them. Yeah, a Subway tuna sandwich.

None from one. What's the next headline? Dog gets stretched down mountain because... Okay, dog. Because they realise that dogs are unable to ski. It's the only option out of the mountain. I'm going to say because the dog was feeling a little rough. Rough.

That's a pun for you. Sam's like, dear God, why did I agree to doing this? I used to work at One News and now I'm here. What am I doing? You're kind of right, actually. Oh, really? Yeah. Maggie was not feeling great. She needed to be carried down because she was tired and she had sore paws.

And yeah. Okay. So the dog was up. Why was the dog up the mountain? Just for a laugh? Just up with her owners, I think. Okay, so the dog was up. Why was the dog up the mountain? Just for a laugh or? Just up with her owners, I think. Gone for a bit of a hike. So when I take my grandmother to the top of Mount Eden,

you'd think they'd have enough energy stored. Like that's failing as a dog. And the down is the easy part. You've done all the hard work, haven't you? The downward dog as they call it. Okay, the next one. Italian grandmother is disgusted after tasting for the first time. I'm going to say coriander,

which hands down probably used to be... I don't mind coriander, but it polarises people. What are you? Are you into coriander, Sam? Absolutely not. No. I'm going to say the grandmother tasted a drink from a shoe at a Warriors game.

Let's go over a topical reference. She was doing a shoeie. What was she doing? She had Starbucks for the first time. Oh she didn't like it?

Nah she said it tastes like rubbish. Oh was she a coffee drinker or not? Italian. Well yeah Italy's the home of espresso. I guess when you

compare you know like yeah I guess for them. Do you know do you drink coffee Seb? I do. Okay I've just got into the piccolos.

Now the problem with the piccolos they're the tiniest little coffee. It's like a miniature flat white, isn't it? It's double shot flat white. It's like a thimble. A thimble of coffee. And Ben, when he goes across the road to get a coffee for me, he's like, there's no lids. They're so small, the cups. They haven't designed lids for them.

And so he comes back with coffee, boiling hot coffee, pouring down his hands. Especially in the wild weather of late, too. I'm coming across the road, holding Jono's coffee, and it's spilling on my hand and it's burning me. And it's all gone. And I'm bringing it back. Yeah, I'm like, here's your coffee, mate. And every time he passes it to me, I'm like,

oh, it's all dripping down the coffee. Yeah, they're right. Yeah, hey, Sam, thank you very much. News and Beeps, great job, mate. That's all right. Thanks for having me. Let's go. Jono and Ben with five words for 5K.

Stop any time to keep the cash. Thank you. Or play on to win more. It's a game of word association. We play it every morning on the hits. You match all five words with our five words and you win $5,000. All right, let's get Chase on from Auckland. How are you, buddy?

Good, thanks. Yourself? Yeah, good, thanks. Chase is a builder. How about all those supply issues eh mate oh it's looking good

nah it's not too bad you know just get out there you know a couple days off so you can't complain can you get jib there was a lot of talk you couldn't get jib

for a long time can you get jib now oh in advance in advance have you ever finished a project on time um depends how long on time and under budget happens all the time yeah on time? Depends how long.

On time and under budget. Happens all the time, mate. Yeah, that's the thing. On time and under budget. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, Chase, we're going to try our hardest to match five words with you, and if we don't try our hardest,

rest assured, we'll give it at least 60%. Who do you want to send into the booth to match words with? Jono. All right, let's see if you and Jono are a match, if you can match all these five words. Or you can just play as long as you want to play the game and win the cash.

He's in there now. What pops into your head, Chase, when I say feline? Feline. I reckon we'll go cat. Cat. All right, let's lock that in. Library. Library.

Books. Books with an S. Prison is the third word. Prison. Sell. Sell. Run. Oh, the third word. Prison. Sell. Sell. Run. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.

Is it supposed to be running? Oh, okay. Apparently it's running. Running. Running. Running race. Running race. And muffin.

Muffin. Cake. Cake. Cake. Oh. You're not sure about cake You're going to go cake Yeah I'll go cake Alright

Hey there's some tricky words in there But you navigated them well Let's get Jono out of the soundproof booth Let's see if we can build your way down Let's try the building thing Did you nail it Chase? I tried I tried

You did try yeah Alright let's see if the building blocks are there for a win. All right, here we go. First word. Word one, $25. $25 word, feline. Feline. Cat?

Yeah, well done. We got there. Well done. $25. Now, that's smoker. Yeah, true. Smoker. For the KFC.

Do you want to go to the next word, the $50 word? Yeah, definitely next word. All right, let's hope you don't get this wrong because you get nothing. Word two, $50. Library, library. I'll go library, books, books. Did you look at, you looked at Ben. I looked at the bear in Ben's eyes.

Yeah, well done. I'll give you that one. His eyes were saying pluralize it. Pluralization. I was just like, ah, yeah, okay. Pluralization's a real word. Well done. You got 50 bucks.

Do you want to play for $100? Or do you want to take your $50 and run? Yeah, we'll carry on. We'll carry on. All right, mate. We've really got that. That was a shaky word, too, from me. He wants to keep going.

Word three, $100. Prison. Prison is word number three. I've got two. Can I talk them out with you? You can talk them out with me. You can't talk them out with Chase, unfortunately. We have to put them on hold.

Remember the careless whisper rule. Yeah, can't whisper. If there's any whispering, they will be ejected from the game. I've got prison inmate. Okay. Or prison cell. Okay.

Are either of those the word? Yeah, I feel like one of them could be the word. Right, okay. Could be. Could be one of the words, one of those ones. Chase is like, it's definitely one of them. Okay. All right, so 50-50

I'll go prison and mate oh oh it was Sal it was Sal Chase I'm so sorry oh mate that was no worries

oh that was lots of fun Chase unfortunately you didn't quite you were really close on that one the last couple of words running

running race running race yeah and muffin muffin bake oh Chase you almost you almost got through the $500 word running. Running race? Running race? Yeah, and muffin. Muffin bake. Oh, Chase. You almost got through the $500 word and you would have got that one. I'm so sorry we didn't get that for you today, but play again. You're lots of fun.

Yes, thank you. Good on you, Chase. See you, mate. Nate, we only had a bloody $5,000 winner in ages. No, it's been a while. When was the last one? We need to change that. We need to get that sorted, don't we? This week. This week, it's a guarantee. Jono Pryor guarantee.

It's a signature rate. Your essential listening for non-essential banter. Jono and Ben on the hits. Now over the weekend, the story out of New Zealand made international news. A young seal in Tauranga had gone to a house, like turned up in a house, got through the cat door in their house, they house, like turned up in a house, got through the cat door

in the house they reckon and turned up 150 metres from the ocean is where the house was. The seal got inside the house. The mum from the house was going out to the gym in the morning, heard her like a barking noise and thought oh maybe it's like a dog outside from the neighbours and didn't realise until she came back from the gym

that the seal was inside the house and couldn't get back out the cat door because the cat's very territorial. The cat was like, this is my entry and exit point, mate. So the seal spent a couple of hours sleeping in the hallway, but the ironic thing was the dad from the house, he's a marine biologist, but he wasn't

home at the time. He's like, the one time I could have been helpful. My skills. My skills come in handy, and I wasn't there. And the rest of the family had to deal with this, and in the end, it got returned safely to the sea. But it became, yeah, big international news, the seal spending a couple of hours just hanging out. Cat doors aren't that big.

No, I wouldn't have thought so. It was a baby seal. Oh, right, so still quite small. Yeah, but still. The seal-to-door ratio feels like it would be off. Yeah, so a little baby seal got inside the house, and that was making big news from New Zealand over the weekend. We had one on Friday.

It didn't make any news. It didn't make big news anywhere. A seal? Hedgehog came into the house. Oh, okay. Not quite as exciting as it. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, you don't know what to do.

Yeah. Because it's foreign. You know, everything's foreign. We're not used to it being in there. The hedgehog's just like, I've taken a wrong turn somewhere. And then again, we were talking about spider removal. It was on me. It was on me.

I've got no previous hedgehog wrangling experience to get it out. Ended up just putting some cardboard underneath it. Just to try and lift it out. But as I was doing it, you think, you couldn't think of a more painful existence on planet Earth than being a hedgehog. You're like moving at the slowest. I mean, don't cross the road, guys.

If there's one bit of advice I could pass to the hedgehog fraternity, stay off the roads. You're never going to make it. The poor things are, too, when they're on the road and they hear something, they go into this sort of protective thing. You know, obviously the spikes, but that's no good against the cars against a front right Toyota Corolla wheel you're lost we had a duck turn up once and we're staying in a place I think in Taupo really down by the water and just had the doors open sliding door on the duck again made a wrong turn ended up inside and we're like oh mate you better get out of here and we're trying to you know like we'll try to get some bread to go outside and the thing flew out but mistimed

which side of the sliding door was open or not you're like oh mate sort of just got up a bit dazed like like a boxer over the weekend and then got back out but yeah but i was like it's funny like it's funny when you watch humans do that is it was funny when you watch a duck do it no but you're laughing you're smiling oh Poor duck. If it wasn't enough. Yeah. To end up in a hotel room and then end up... Were you responsible for flapping the duck away? No. Duck off?

No, not quite, yeah. It was sort of a joint effort. I'm not responsible enough for that sort of thing on my own. The Hits. For more podcasts from The Hits Network, check out iHeartRadio.co.nz.