Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: Monday 4th April

Episode Date: April 4, 2022

There are wars happening in households all over Aotearoa, Chore Wars!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits with the Jono and Ben podcast. Fourth of April. Kia ora. It's Jono and Ben here. Welcome back, Ben. Yeah, well, good to be here. How are you doing your last day of isolation until you're hopefully back with us at the office tomorrow? How does it work? Like, how did you reintegrate yourself back into society? Were you a changed man? It felt a bit weird sort of walking out and then being like, I'm out. I'm out. I'm out, guys. Do you feel like you'll always be institutionalised?

Oh, jeez. Don't make it into something it's not. Yeah, but it was, as I said to you before, day eight. And I was like, hey, kids, what do you want to do? We can go anywhere, do anything. And they wanted to go from being inside for a week to going to the mall. I was like, oh, OK, we can go to the mall. Now, the kids didn't catch your visit, did they?

So did they just enjoy being, you know, a seven-day break? Well, in some ways. Although my daughter, Indy, was so excited about going back to school, which was awesome, you know. She was like, I was so excited, I've got school tomorrow. So that's a good feeling. I was like, I wish I could say the same about work as an adult. Yeah.

Manda, yeah, I mean, you don't ever want to lose that enthusiasm, do you? No. You don't want to knock that out, even though I know you call her a nerd and stuff. I don't call her a nerd. She's very diligent, though, which is awesome. I'm like, don't stop being that, because, you know, you'll be running the country,

so, you know, or the company, you know. That's the thing. No time. Now, aside from bullying your own children, you lose that enthusiasm, don't you? Yeah, at some stage. I mean, Belle Crawford in with us today. Thanks for being here today, Belle.

Thanks for having me. I feel like we've made things... Ben, Belle's getting paid to be here, mate. It's not just me. I did get up at 4.00am for you this morning. Thank you very much. Well, you were enthusiastic yesterday about coming in today. I was actually quite excited.

I usually work on my own a lot, so it's really fun to work with other people, yeah. It's nice to have you here, although we have a wee stressful thing we talked about at the end of the show. For us on the radio game, it's stressful. Compared to a lot of other jobs, it's not. Well, you have to time out to a certain time right on the second we have to finish the show. For reasons I won't go into, but we have to finish on this. He won't go into them because he doesn't understand it. Why don't you explain it quickly if you want?

It's essentially because we break out to other networks, and so it has to be bang on so that everything plays at the right time. So, yeah, and it has to come on at 10 seconds. 56.10. Oh, no, and it's just cool. Imagine if it's the end of the day and you've got to reconcile your till or your books or your, you know, imagine it's something like that for another business.

And we never nail it. No. We never nail it. Hey, we're not saving lives. We're just doing radio. It's all right. That's right. That's right.

But you're right, Ben. It's a problem that affects absolutely no one except us every morning. It becomes a big stress point of your day, doesn't it? Well, yeah, and it's become a stress point of your day now, Belle. So welcome. Love it for me. And it seems so unnecessary. Like, surely there's another fix.

Well, the other fix, it's not very good. It would mean that you have a network day show with no other people and people would lose their jobs. Yeah, well, that's the fix I'm going for. Just so it makes our lives a little bit easier, Ben. You don't mind people losing jobs, do you? Just so it makes your morning a little bit easier, Ben. You don't mind people losing jobs, do you?

Just so it makes your morning a bit easier, Ben? No, no. I'd quite like everyone to keep their jobs. That'd be nice. Yeah. That's a good thing. Hey, how was your weekend anyway? Yeah, not too bad.

Why is it to say? It was pretty quiet until yesterday, and then I could go out and about. What about you? You been in your shed? Yeah. In the shed. Not a shed. Not a shed.

I did. You're right, Bill. I did? Yeah, in the shed. It's not a shed. It's not a shed. I did, you're right, Belle. I did mop the roof, the ceiling. She's gesturing that. Because I was like lying on the, I've got a little mattress. I don't know if you can see it there. It's a little tiny mattress. You're really, it just feels sad. I feel sad for you.

I look like Kanye West when he was living in that stadium in Atlanta. You know? Ready for Sunday service. And I was staring up at the ceiling. I was like, jeez, it's very, because it's a garage as well, so it brings in all the soot from the cars. I was like, that needs a mopping. And I started doing it with a rag, and I was like, surely there's a better way.

And I thought I clocked life, where I got the mop, you know, the sponge mop. Yeah. And just ran that along the roof. And then I started doing the walls with it, and I'm like, this is a, is that a life hack? Is that what they call a life hack? What do you think people do there? If I came around to your house and you were doing that, I'd be judging you.

That's for sure. What if I was mopping the ceiling? Wow. Well, enjoy your Monday. See, this is why he's going to be in tomorrow. Thank goodness because Zoom technology doesn't always catch up with us. Go on, sir.

You can't cut me off, mate. Well, no, I didn't. Sounded like you were T-Pain, mate, honestly. It did. That sounded like auto-tune. He's trying to stitch me up in the edit. No, all right. Enjoy the podcast.

It's a fun one today. We give away a lot of money. It's a honey Monday. Enjoy. Tested safe for listing from home. Jono and Ben on the hits. We're off with COVID last week. I'm back at work this morning.

I've done my seven days. I'm back at work this morning, Jono Pryor. Yesterday was Freedom Day for me and the family. And does it feel good? How does it feel to be free and out there? Well, it was interesting because it was like day eight yesterday, so we'd done our seven days days and then I was like, hey kids, what do you want to do?

And they were like, can we go to the mall? After seven days of being inside, that's where they wanted to go. And so you went from inside to just a bigger, busier inside. Yeah, but it's crazy. None of the family got COVID.

Same in your household as well. You haven't passed it on to anyone, which is pretty incredible. They keep dodging that bullet, which is wonderful. like i have been trapped in this room for a very long time i ended up mopping the ceiling the the the act of a psychotic man mopping a ceiling i was like oh that ceiling's kind of dirty so i was like check us out the mop and i was halfway through i was like mate this you don't want anyone else walking in right now and catching you do this. We've got a new part of the team today. We've got Belle Crawford, who finished on Friday. So Belle's

going to be hanging out with us. How are you, Belle? I'm good, thanks, guys. Bright and early. Thanks for having me. Yeah, thanks for having us. I just turned my mic on. I wasn't, you know, I was like staying quiet over here, but turned it back on to say hey. Yeah, because people will know you from ZM. You've been working on the hits in Wellington as well. Yeah, I have been, which has been so cool.

But Epic being part of the hits family. And I thought, I looked online as well, and I thought, well, you know, it's your first morning here with us. And I thought maybe we should throw you some break the ice questions from the internet this morning, you know, just to get to know Bell Crawford a little better. And Jono, you found some as well? I found some too.

These are a series of welcoming and relatable questions that I'd like to ask you, Belle. This is to welcome a new colleague into a team environment. Are you content with your current responsibilities? Yeah, the ones I know of at this stage anyway. We'll see. That's good. Do you understand the expectations of your job?

Yeah, just to make sure that you guys are on here. Yeah, make us look good too, which is hard. Is there any additional training you require as of now? No, maybe talking with a mask on. Okay, I've got one here for you.

That's all I have been. Okay, well here's some ones, some more interesting ones, I'd say, less work related. If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be, Belle? This is tough, but I did have a very nice pad see you at a Thai restaurant over the weekend. Oh, so you'd have that all? Well, you've got to have vegetables, but you don't want to have a salad because that's boring, right?

But you need vegetables because you don't want to catch any scurvy. You don't want your skin to get all rashy, you know? That's good. Okay, biggest fear? Heights. Heights? And not? That's good. Okay, biggest fear? If you have a biggest fear? Heights. Heights? And not being able to breathe.

Okay. John asked this question to an Uber driver once, meaning biggest fear as in how much money he'd made. And then he started going into what? Losing his family, which was quite full on. Oh, that's horrible. Yeah. Which, I mean, that's everyone's biggest fear, isn't it? Yeah.

You want to lose your family. Okay, what did you want to be when you grew up? Quite specific, a princess that drove around in a convertible that was a pop star slash TV presenter. Okay, oh wow. All of the above. That princess is ticking boxes. Yeah.

Okay, what song would you sing on karaoke, go-to song? Give me some Britney. Oh, Britney? I don't know, anything. Baby One More Time, I don't know uh what the toughest question of them all bell crawford which one is jono which one is ben well there's there like some kind of test like i can obviously know which one's which of your voice no one knows it's the mystery we'll just politely answer to both though bell so i have one more final question. Your EFTPOS pin. You don't have to worry about that this morning because we have $100 to give away

to every caller that gets on the airwaves. It's a hundy-mundy thanks to Employment Hero. Next, we've got $100 to give away. Should we do it next, Joe? Oh, $800 that hits the telephone number. But I think, people, you just need to tell us what you're going to do with the $100. Okay.

It could be a good deed. It could be an absolute dastardly one. We don't care. All right. We'll find out after Ed Sheeran shivers what you want to do with the $100. It is the hits. You got Jono and Ben. The great thing about listening to this show is that the day can only get better from here.

Jono and Ben on the hits. We're trying to make Mondays a little better. Thanks to Employment Hero. It's a hundy Monday. Jono Pryor, are you there? Can you hear me? You're looking. I can see him on the Zoom.

He's got a little, he's doing that thing where he puts his hand up to his ears. And he's like, I can't, I can't. Can you hear me? I can hear you. Can you not hear me? Give me a thumbs up if you can hear me. I can hear you. I can't hear you.

So I'm just going to talk wildly all over you, not even knowing what you're saying back. Oh, now I've hear you. Can you not hear me? Give me a thumbs up if you can hear me. I can hear you. I can't hear you. So I'm just going to talk wildly all over you, not even knowing what you're saying back. Oh, now I've got you. Oh, you're back in there, John. I'm probably the last day of isolation as we both have COVID. I'm back in the studio today. So I can see you over Zoom, and hopefully you can hear me, but you're just not pointing up to your headphones again.

Did you see me pointing at my headphones? Could you understand what I was saying? Yeah, you look very, very confused. Hundy Mundy today, and you wanted to, so we've got $100 to give away thanks to Employment Hero, the smarter way to manage people, payroll, and productivity, and you just want to give away $100 willy-nilly. No, we can't be doing that willy-nilly bed all morning. Willy-nilly is not the approach when we have so many red rutherfords to chuck out the door this morning so not coming in with a willy-nilly approach james welcome you're on new zealand's breakfast how are you what in our boys i'm good thank you very much what in a james now james

what would you spend a hundred dollars on if we gave you a hundred dollars this morning on a hundy monday well i've got a truckload of kids and one of the youngest ones birthday's coming up shortly, so it'll be going towards his fifth birthday. Oh, that's very cute, John. We would be monsters to say, no, you can't have this money. I'll play the game. $100 coming your way. You enjoy your Monday, all right?

Lovely boys, you too. See you, mate. See you. It's nice, isn't it? Oh, we really are zhooshing up Monday, aren't we? It's like when you put a bit of foundy in a wig on me, Ben, sex it up a little bit. Yeah, exactly.

We'll get Grace on. Welcome, Grace. How are you? I'm good, thank you. It's a hundy Monday. Why do you need this hundy? It's my birthday on Friday, so maybe we can get festive over the weekend.

Oh, okay. Friday, birthday. It seems like you're going to have a Friday, Saturday, Sunday. You festive over the weekend. Oh, okay. Friday, birthday. It seems like you're going to have a Friday, Saturday, Sunday. You're gearing up for a big one. Bender. Bender. All right. Well, hopefully, I don't know.

It's tough times out there. You know, cost of living crisis. Hopefully a hundred stretches for a three-day bender. Well done. Happy birthday, too. Thank you. That's thanks to Employment Hero Ben. Yeah, that's how it works throughout the morning.

Every caller that gets on the airwaves will get $100 thanks to Employment Hero. As Jono said, manage everything from contracts to promotions in one place. Employment Hero makes being the boss easy. And, yeah, plenty more chances throughout the morning to win $100. It's a hundy-mundy. How good? It is the hits. You got Jono and Ben?

Scrolling through your feed. You've heard of breaking news. This is faking news simply for the fact that the two people have no idea what they're talking about. Ben Boyce, what's been happening? Of course, daylight savings kicked in on Sunday night. But the big question, there's a bit of debate at the moment. Do we need any more America? They're getting rid of it as of next year.

They've decided to do no more daylight savings. 70? America. You've heard of America? I've heard of America. United States of America? Yeah. Oh, vaguely.

It's a little up-and-coming country, isn't it? Yeah, there's only 70 countries in the world do it out of about 195. But I read a solution in the weekend. Chris Schultz, who writes for the spin-off in the New Zealand Herald, he's like, let's just put it half an hour next time. Let's go in the middle and just keep it like that forever. And so next time we just go half an hour forward. So it's kind of like in the middle, and then we just ride it out from here on in.

You would like that, given your fence-sitting ways, Ben Boyce. Let's just meet halfway. Don't offend anyone. Does Tiano, they're not changing their clocks? Or is that just a tourism campaign? I think something on the news last night that they're doing it. They're keeping their own time there, which is very, very confusing because you don't have to cross through any borders to get there or anything.

So very confusing. Yeah. The other thing, with daylight savings, I feel like we have this conversation, we copy and paste this conversation annually. Yeah, yeah, true. And I don't know, why did it come into play? I thought it was something to do with cows, milking cows.

And it was meant to give you more daylight hours and also save on candles. There was back in the day as well. I suppose electricity. It might save on electricity. Well, yeah, before there was electricity, it would have been handy, I'm sure. But right now we're fine.

Unless you're mowing through an excess of candles. I know you do love an aqua, don't you? I do, but I'm happy to keep rolling without daylight savings if that's what it's going to take, you know. And the next big COVID variant could be hitting, and it could hit before we even know it. Are we sick of COVID news? I feel like we are, right? Because the peak of Omicron has passed. Vaccine

passes no longer will be mandatory. Trans-Tasman borders are open. I feel like we should be trying to be positive but then I've read an article this morning going, oh, there could be a new variant and we'll probably won't know about it until two weeks too late. Well, there's some cheering news for you Monday morning.

Buddy, you're one day out of isolation I'm keen to move on forget about it I'm still trapped here I've got your COVID Don't you forget about me Hey that's the Ben Humphrey variant you've got there From our producer Maybe that was the new variant

Yeah exactly You want to get that branding out, Producer B Humps? No, he's shaking his head. But the Cabinet's going to decide today whether to move from red to orange. So another announcement about an announcement will be this afternoon from the government. And that is scrolling through your feed. And next, you want to do this, Motivational Mondays again.

Yeah, it's back. You've got to stop saying it with such a patronising tone. Again. Again. Ben's here to bring you down with his disappointing COVID new variant news. I'm here to bring you up with some motivation next. All right, we'll do that after the weekend. Blinding Lights, back after the weekend.

You've got Jono and Ben on the hits. You're running late, stuck in traffic, and now you have to listen to this. Jono and Ben on the hits. You're on the hits, Jono and Ben. You started this a couple of weeks ago, Jono, on a Monday morning, which isn't, you know, it can be people's least popular day of the week, right? Yep, and it's Motivational Monday, and I've always felt judgment from you, Ben, across the desk.

I like it. I got you on to these motivational Instagram accounts, remember? I was jacked up on all these guys positive thoughts you know like yeah we need to do this yeah so yeah hey Belle Crawford's with us this morning because producer Juliette has left us she's gone overseas you've got a podcast you know the self love podcast

so that's kind of along the similar lines about you know so you can judge you can help judge this one here. John, I've brought this one to the table. This is some motivation for a Monday morning. Well, it is, and it's nothing better than just pulling clips off Instagram to make you feel like you're a better person. And that's all this segment is.

It's me playing famous people saying motivational stuff. You know, things like never give up on your dreams. Unless they're too hard, then just stop because they're never going to happen. And another one, which is the good one for the family feud guy, there's no elevator to the top. You've got to take the stairs. Unless

you install one of those, you know how old people have those seats that go up their stairs at a painfully slow pace? You could put one of those in your house. Alright, well today's Motivational Monday. Who's it from? Have you heard of Michelle Obama? Yeah, I have. Yeah, it's from her.

Well, it would be weird if it wasn't, if I let in with that. Michelle Obama, have a listen to these touching words. Who are you going to be? And if you'll notice, I'm not asking what are you going to do, but who are you going to be? I'm asking you about how you plan to live your life every day. How are you going to respond when you don't get that job you had your heart set on? For all of you who are going to be teachers, what are you going to do if the students in

your class next year just don't respond to your lessons? For all of you going into business, how will you react when your boss gives you a goal that feels way too high? See, these are the moments that define us. Not the day you get the promotion, not the day you win teacher of the year, but the times that force you to claw and scratch and fight just to get through the day. The moments when you get knocked down and you're wondering whether it's even worth it to get back up see those are the times when you've got to ask yourself who am i going to be oh it's actually really good it's good advice were they because i we were having technical issues at the moment so i couldn't hear them were they touching words they were touching

words i'm going to be after today i'm going to be teacher of the year, guys. Today is the day I'm going to be teacher of the year. Is that what I'm meant to take out of this? Was she talking about teachers? Yeah, well, that was one of the things. Yeah. You set this through. Did you even listen to it? You were like, this is the motivational advice we're going to play.

Did you even listen to it? Did you? Am I a bad person if I did it? This is meant to be your motive. I sat through the whole thing. I could hear it.

You couldn't hear it through technical. Belle, are you inspired? Oh, it was pretty inspiring stuff. Jono should really listen to it while he's so he can feel inspired in that little room of his.

To be honest, I just typed in Michelle Obama's speech and just forwarded it on. There it is. Motivation for your Monday. It is the hits you got, John O'Mean. Now to our friend who's on debut, Belle,

continuing the media's quest to drag out this Will Smith slap scandal as long as we can. Drip, get every little bit out of that udder, Belle. What have we got? It's honestly still the biggest story. I can't stop reading the articles either. I know. Every day there's new, like multiple, not just one or two. It's literally pages.

I need to stop, but please tell me more. I really want to know more. I've deep dived. I've got all the updates. So what happened over the weekend was Netflix initially quietly dropped his movie film Fast and Loose after the whole Slapgate thing, which it was a quiet thing they did, and then all of a sudden everyone's blown it up. They didn't say anything.

They just dropped it from their lineup. So that's not happening now, the Will Smith movie? No. So he's just probably lost like 20 mil or something. What is it? Yeah, probably would be, right? Yeah. Well, mind you, he still would have got paid for it, though.

That's their decision to drop it, isn't it? They're the ones losing. Yeah. Also, he plans to stay at a luxurious retreat just to lay low and, you know, get some massages and maybe some treatments and, you know, just chill out while this whole thing's going on. So that's the plan, basically, for him to sort of take some time. Well, I imagine that there's a lot going on at the moment.

And, you know, as you said, he's very apologetic about it all. So I imagine he's got a bit to do to kind of get back to being back in the public eye. He'll be quite good at a resort with the sunscreen for slip-slop-slapping as well. Oh, here we go. Well covered. Yeah, OK. And he has stepped down over the week. And this was the big update.

He stepped down from the Hollywood's Academy, which means he's no longer a member of that, saying that his behaviour was shocking, painful and inexcusable. Chris Rock has declined to press any charges and he's not really speaking about it at the moment. He says he'll come back soon, so surely he'll have a big routine coming on the way. Well, he's coming to New Zealand later in the year, right, Chris Rock?

But at this stage, he's not making any jokes about it. And it has been revealed that Will was also asked to leave the awards by organisers, which he refused to do, and they didn't take any further action because they felt he was in a bit of a manic state and they didn't want to aggravate anything further. No, well once you've watched a man slap another man on

stage, you're a little gun-shy about asking him to leave. I imagine. I wouldn't want that job. Would you want that, Ben? No, what? Excuse me. Hey, go tell Will Smith he's got to leave. I imagine. I wouldn't want that job. Would you want that, Ben? No. Excuse me. Okay, no. Hey, go tell Will Smith he's got to leave. Oh, really? Yeah.

Yeah, and another big awards ceremony today. Hopefully no more Slapgate. The Grammys are on today. They've been delayed. They're on in Vegas. Biggest day in music. They start at midday our time, and leading the nominations,

you may not have heard of this artist. He's a jazz artist called John Patisse. He actually wrote the soundtrack for Disney's movie Soul. Your kids may love that one. He's leading with 11 nominations. Olivia Rodrigo broke records last year. Maybe that song Driver's License you might have heard. She's got four.

And a lot of performances. You've got Lady Gaga, Billie Eilish, Brutal Bars. Foo Fighters won't be performing, obviously, after the very sad passing of drummer Taylor Hawkins. And Kanye, Ye West, he has actually been dropped from the performing lineup due to his recent online harassment. He is, though, up for five awards. Will Smith's like, your move, Ye.

See what he does. The world is his oyster at that awards show today. So he'll be still there, apparently, but just not performing. Is that the word? see what he does. The world is his oyster at that awards show today. So he'll be still there apparently, but just not performing. Is that the word? Not allowed to perform. Not allowed on stage.

And that is Spy with the Kardashians streaming April 14th only on Star on Disney+. It's Jono and Ben, but FYI, Ben is open to other options. Jono and Ben on the hits. Tonight on TVNZ 1 730, Fair Go turns 45. 45, that's incredible. We've got the host of Fair Go with us right now, Pippa Wetzel.

Good morning, how are you? I'm good, I'm good. How are you? Now very exciting, Fair Go, 45 seasons. I mean, that's incredible. We could only do seven at Jono and Ben, so what's the secret? I can think in some ways we almost wish we weren't needed. And sometimes people think with everything that's going on in the world, that technology, that people can take care of their own problems,

but it just doesn't happen. And so, I mean, we are still encountering very, very similar problems to the ones we encountered 45 years ago. So I think as long as there's a need for us, then we will continue to keep fighting the good fight. Geez, I've always loved Fairgo and I love the champagne the camera operators running on to the used car yard and the

greasy used car dealers putting his hand in front of the camera. Have you ever been caught up in one of those high drama scenes, Pippa? Not that kind of high drama. No, not at all. But I tell you what, on the show tonight, there is a whole lot of that stuff. It is quite sort of shocking when you see it

kind of all put together like that because to be honest that kind of stuff doesn't happen that often but they are the occasions that are really really memorable but so you know there's a lot of the history of Fair Go wrapped up tonight and a lot of those events are involved.

What such a legendary show legendary people like Kevin Milne, Ellie Moore, Kerry McIver, Greg Boyd, Carol Hirschfeld. So many people have been on the show over the years. But I was reading the other day, you were like, we've got a special celebration. We're keeping it under wraps. At the time you did that article,

did you have no idea what you were doing? It seemed like you were just kind of going, oh, it'll be great. It's going to be great. No one knows what's happening at the moment. Come on. I think it's amazing that we've pulled together a program at all. Ben was trying to do his own little fair go expose there on you.

Yeah, I was. I'm sorry about that. I'll have to mediate that one. We wanted to play a little game with you. What we've done is we've trawled back through the ages. You're celebrating 45 years of fair go. We've trawled back through the ages You're celebrating 45 years of fair go We've trawled back through to an old interview you did a few years ago Okay

Now, what the game is, is we're going to ask you the question And you need to guess what your answer was from 2018 Okay, I can't even remember what I had for breakfast So this is different Okay, okay So the first question was first kiss. At what age was your first kiss? I think I would have said 14. Let's go to

the answer. Oh, 14? Oh, well done. The next question was, what's your pet peeve? Pet peeve. Did I say, um, I don't think I said fruit stickers. I think I said entitlement. Oh, let's have a look.

Entitlement. Oh my goodness, you are good. Two on the spectrum there. You've got fruit stickers or entitlement. Fruit stickers are annoying. I eat quite a lot of them. Oh, they're disgusting. Do you have any hidden talents?

I would have said folding fitted sheets. I can fold a really mean fitted sheet. Mate, you're on fire. One day when the world is back together, can you teach us? Because I can't. I just can't do it. Honestly, it's a great party trick to be able to fold a sheet. I'm giving away the extent of the fun that happens at my parties now. People are doing backflips, some people are juggling

and you're like, hey, you've got a fitted sheet, I can fold that for you. The last one was, what is a surprising fact about you? I said that I was quite tall. People who haven't met me before are often surprised by how tall I am.

How tall are you? I'm 5'11". You don't get that on TV, do you? No, no, no, you don't. Yeah, no, I'm 5'11". Do you come from a tall family? I do come from, my brother's 6'10". What? 6'10"? Did your brother play basketball?

He does, he plays for the Breakers. Oh, really? Little plug for them, yeah, yeah. He plays for the Breakers. Oh, really? Little plug for them. Yep, yep. He plays for the Breakers, and they're having a season across in Australia, so it's tough for them right now. No home games. Do you know Ben's dream is to – he's a huge basketball fan.

He listens to basketball podcasts and all sorts. His dream is to watch LeBron James play. Oh, well, you have the same dream as my 11-year-old son. Yeah, well, maybe. No, it would be weird if I took him over there because my wife keeps going, oh, do we have to time it with the NBA season if we ever go visit my family in the States?

I'm like, yes, we do. I should take you, Ben, and your son to watch Space Jam or something. The more affordable option. Almost as good. Almost as good. Almost as good. Pippa Wetzel, congratulations on 45 seasons of Fair Go. That is incredible.

We can't wait to watch tonight. Thanks, fellas. Take care. Two semi-competent dads handing out semi-competent parenting advice. Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, Ben, you've been released from your COVID prison. You're back at work, mixing and mingling with the general population. I'm still locked out in isolation, still doing hard time.

And I don't want to say it's thanks to your COVID. But I feel like the COVID's been passed along like a train on this show. It's from Ben Humphrey, our producer, Behumps. It's the Behumps variant that we had. The Behumps variant. Hopefully, Ashley will be giving an update on that at 1 o'clock today, just how far that variant has spread. But you know what I have noticed, and it's a huge advantage.

You've got to look at the positives in life. Huge advantage to having COVID is that isolating, you eliminate yourself from any responsibility. Like, any responsibility whatsoever. I haven't washed a dish, vacuumed a speck of dust. I haven't made a bed in the last seven days, and I couldn't be happier. Well, you're living out the back, aren't you, for your final night tonight? You're out the back of the house.

Yeah, and I'm sure, you know, Jen's done a wonderful job. I'm sure Amanda did the same of running the household like an absolute boss. But if anything, it makes me watching from the house. Yeah, and I'm sure you know, Jen's done a wonderful job, I'm sure Amanda did the same, of running the household like an absolute boss, but if anything it makes me watching from the outside looking in that I'm obsolete, like I'm not needed. Everything is running along, military precision, probably even better without me interfering

in it. But my worry is that there's a huge list of chores that are just piling up that I'm going to need to get to once I'm out. So I'm trying to think of ways of how can I drag this thing out longer so that the chores become so unbearable that Jen has to do them. So you want to talk this morning about chore wars because it seems to be something I imagine

every household, every relationship, or even if you're not in a relationship with flatmates or whatever, you have certain wars about chores. And I don't know what it is, but there are just some things that really do get under your skin. I don't know why this irritates me so much, but it's unpacking shopping and putting it in cupboards, you know, the food shopping. And I know this is such an entitled thing to moan about

because the supermarkets are like, mate, what more do you want us to do? We literally collect your shopping, pack it, deliver it to your door, place it outside your door. What else can we do? Like, they can't do any more. They're making that process as painless as possible. I mean, I'll pay another five bucks for them

to put the stuff in their cupboards, but what is it for you? Oh, look, it's probably, I don't shake the laundry out well enough when I put it out and it gets wrinkles because I'm just like, just get it done. That's something as well. I create a pool of water when I wash the dishes.

That's something else I do. I put Amanda's tops in the wrong place. The singlets go with the t-shirts and they're going out. I get very confused by that, but they're all away. I put Amanda's tops in the wrong place. The singlets go with the T-shirts and they're going out. I get very confused by that, but they're all away. I put them away. So these are the sort of chore wars that I have. Belle's joining us because producer Juliet's away now. Do you have any sort of chore wars in your household, Belle?

Yeah, I don't like cleaning the fridge and just taking out stuff that needs to go. It's not a favourite chore of mine. Oh, so expired stuff, you mean? Yeah, like I'll do it, but it's not my favourite. Give me a bathroom any day I'd rather clean a bathroom Oh okay And also cleaning a car

Ugh Worst Just leave it for my boyfriend The thing with the fridge Is you need to Let it build up for six months And then just give it One big foul swoop

Chuck it all out In one hit When you're looking at it You're going Ooh like 2019 Has been here That's a long time It's pre-pandemic

So many So many random sauces Like sweet and sour sauce From 2005 Like 2019 has been here. That's a long time. It's pre-pandemic. So many random sources, like sweet and sour sauce from 2005. It just sort of sits there. My mum just keeps writing it out. She's like, it'll be fine. It'll be fine. It's got so many preservatives in it. It'll be fine.

I'm like, mum, this is from before the millennium kicked in. She's like, it'll be fine. It'll be fine. Preservatives will be fine. So yeah, what are the chore wars? What are the things that you argue over in your household? We'd love to hear from you this morning. We're talking chore wars.

What are the chores that cause wars in your household? Hello, Alison. How are you? Oh, I'm good, thank you. We're talking chores that are causing wars this morning. What is it in your household, Alison? Well, it was just that my son must think of me as being a washing lady. But when he was about two or three,

he used to stand at the back doorstep and yell out to me while I was hanging out the washing. I love you, washing lady. And it was the cutest thing. Was he aware that you were his mother at the time? Oh, yeah, yeah. He had called me mum before that. He'd seen me around.

But it was the cutest thing. I love you, washing lady. And then because I'd reacted to it, any time we were at the supermarket and he was sitting in the shopping trolley and I'd be moving around the aisle getting bits and pieces and he would just yell out for attention, I love you, washing lady. And did you get a rebrand through your mothering career eventually

or were you a washing lady until? Oh, I'm still washing lady. Still washing lady. He's come back to live at home. I mean, he's back living at home, which is wonderful to have him. But I've got a feeling I'm still the Washing Lady. Yeah, right. He hasn't even bothered to learn your real name.

He's just gone Washing Lady. Oh, Alison, I love it. Well, Washing Lady, we're going to reward you with $100 for your call. A hundi mundi thanks to Employment Hero, all right? Oh, that's wonderful. Thank you. That's just lovely. Good on you right? Oh, that's wonderful. Thank you. That's just lovely. Good on you, Alison.

Have a great day. Appreciate it. We'll get Ash on the show. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Ash, how's it going, mate? Yeah, how's it going? What are your wars that you're having over the chores, Ash? Well, my husband thinks that the only way that you have to do the washing

is to dry it in the garage and how we set up. And then it just magically gets folded by chucking it on the bed. And then, you know, just repeat and away you go. He's been doing this for like nearly six months. I've always said that the folder is the unsung hero in the washing process. Because I'm the folder in our house and it's like the person who puts the clothes into the thing

and pushes a couple of buttons, they get a lot of glory for doing the washing. I do both. He just wants the space to hang up more things so he just removes it. But then the funny thing is I've caught him getting his clothes from this pile.

And he's like, I don't need to fold it because I can just go in there and get what I need when I need it. I'm like, so he's never going to give up. We tried a pile system at home for a while, a mound of washing. The kids used to come in and get their stuff for school from the mound. And I thought it was a better system than folding and putting away drawers, but in hindsight it wasn't. At least when the question's asked, where's my socks?

Well, it's in the mound. It's in the mound, the washing mound. Everyone knows. Well, I think we lost the cat there for about four days. Ash, we're going to give you $100 thanks to Employment Hero. It's a hundy-mundy, all right? So you enjoy that. Thank you so much.

Cheers. Good on you, Ash. We'll get Kylie on to round this out. What are the wars over your chores in the household? Kylie, what havemundi, all right? So you enjoy that. Thank you so much. Cheers. Good on you, Asha. We'll get Kylie on to round this out. What are the wars over your chores in the household? Kylie, what have you got, matey? I've got a husband who thinks he's a plumber. He's not by trade? He is 100% not by trade.

He thinks he is. So we just bought our new home that we've been working so hard for, and he thought that the previous people would have plumbed the laundry properly obviously so I was like just leave it I'll I'll get someone to come and put the washing machine in for us because it looked a bit dodged. Well you can never say that to someone like your husband I'll get someone in. So he uh he what he thought he plumbed the washing machine properly but he never connected the hose so we live in a multi-story home so the house is up on one of the top floors.

So it's poured all the way down, all down the walls. It ruined the floor and everything. So I got a little bit angry at that and just like, just leave it. I will call the plumber and I will deal with it. I come home from work. He had retried it again.

Feed the pipe into the wrong bit. Refluttered it again. Ruined the floor. It ran down the walls, everywhere. So the third time, I finally managed to get a plumber to come and do it. Oh, geez. And I imagine, you know, some tense conversation in the household. There was a lot of tense conversation.

I was like, anything electrical or plumbing, please, for the love of God, just leave it. So he's not allowed in the laundry now. I take full ownership of the laundry. He's not to touch it whatsoever. Do you know how many times I've heard in our marriage, for the love of God? When you hear the words for the love of God, you know

they mean business. Any woman means business when she uses that terminology. Oh, so good. We're going to give you $100 thanks to Employment Hero. You enjoy that, all right? Thank you so much. And for the rest of the morning, $100 for every caller that gets on the airwaves. Thanks to Employment Hero.

You can manage everything from contacts to promotions in one place. Employment Hero makes being the boss easy. Jono and Ben. I'm back in work. I've done my seven days of isolation. From contacts to promotions in one place, Employment Hero makes being the boss easy. I'm back in work. I've done my seven days of isolation. And Jono, you've got your final day. Home stretch. Here we go.

Oh, and you've got an air of, I can hear the air of, listen to me still battling away, air of arrogance about you. Isn't he got a certain smugness? I can lick any door handle that I want to lick now, which is none, to be honest. I don't want to lick a single one. Before pandemic. You've never licked them before? No, and I wouldn't sit. But I could.

Not about to start. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no. Of course, you're super immune. Now you can go out and do anything, can't you? There's definitely those two groups of people out in public at the moment. Those who are like, hit it, hit it, can do anything. They've got their heads held high and then the others are just ducking the

bombs, the Omicron bombs. But Ben, on Friday Juliet, Producer Juliet left and obviously we weren't able to attend but there was a virtual card that was sent out. Did you fill out the virtual card? I did fill out the virtual card.

Yeah, for Producer Juliet, yeah. Kudo, was it Kudo you fill out the virtual card i did fill out the virtual card yeah for producer juliet yeah uh kudos at kudo or something was the uh the virtual i've never seen one of these before quite a cool idea yeah basically everyone just writes online a little thing and then it gets sent away to her as a virtual card with little messages and all sorts as a man who doesn't like to pay five dollars for a car this is a dream this is great cards are a waste of money a lot or maybe not a leaving. This is great. Cards are a waste of money. Maybe not a leaving card, one of those big leaving cards that everyone signs if everyone was in the office.

Maybe not that. You might look at that again. But my thing, Belle, like birthday cards. I mean, do you keep your birthday cards or not? Some of them if they're special ones,

but yeah, it does seem like a bit of a waste of money really. They're quite expensive. Especially for the nice fancy ones. I'd rather have the five bucks, personally. But hey, but Jono, he bit of a waste of money, really. They're quite expensive, especially for the nice fancy ones. I'd rather have the $5, personally. But, hey, Jono, he's kept his card since he was little. I have. I sometimes like to go back and go, oh, seven's birthday.

Must have been a hell of a year. I had a full head of hair. I was good to go. Yeah. I was out of the house. When I was seven years old. But the other thing, too is that this online website, so I signed on to do a going away message.

Right. Okay. And then you fill out your message and then you click to the next thing and it's like you've got to sign in for your message to be broadcast on the card. And I'm like, oh. Anyway, so I put my email in and then it goes, oh, it looks like this email is already registered to the website. Please enter your password.

And it's at this moment I'm like, could you do a worse thing to another human being? And then I have to click forgot password question mark. Isn't that the most painful experience? I've gone through COVID. That's worse than going through COVID is having to click forgot password. Because then you're taken to this portal of questions of like, what was your mother's mother's maiden name? Your first pet and all sorts.

Driving instructor. But passwords have just become the bane of my life i've got about 20 that are on rotate and i can never figure out which one's attached to what well the thing is that i moan about this from time to time but last pass apparently is a as a website a thing that you can sign up for and they will remember your passwords for you and also on my computer i've got a little fingerprint thing which is great and i was going how good it was i'll be banging on about this for ages i put my fingerprint on there it recognizes my fingerprint I don't have to put in a password until I noticed in the weekend my daughter bought something online

her fingerprint worked on my one I was like how did you pay for that she's I just used the fingerprint thing I was like but that was for my credit card she's like oh it just works for my fingerprint so I was like, well, hang on. Free relaxed security. Yeah, she also knew the three-digit pin as well. She's like, yeah, I knew that as well. So I put it in. So I was like, well, there you go. So you've got to watch that.

Fingerprint technology, we're about 65% there. You know, it's like you think you've got it, you're using it. You're like, look at this, got my fingerprints. But it takes everyone's fingerprint. It's a fingerprint. It's not your fingerprint. It's not your fingerprint. It's just a fingerprint. Hold your finger up there.

It'll work. That's what it's got. Scrolling through your feed. All right, here's some topics you can fill in with awkward banter. In the workplace kitchen today. Ben, what's happening, baby? What is the last day of vaccine passes? So you don't no longer after today have to show your vaccine pass.

If you're working in a retail or a cafe and stuff, you won't need to ask anyone anymore. That awkward conversation, hey guys, have you got your vaccine pass? Mind you, I haven't been asked that question in a very long time. When was the last time you were asked to see your vaccine pass? Well, we've been in seven days of isolation. And there's your family's asking for yours when you have to enter the house. I have to scan in when I go inside the house. So that means vaxxed, anti-vaxxed, doesn't matter.

You can go where you want. Yeah, so last night, speaking of vaccinations, I was just reading there was a guy in Germany, a 60-year-old man who's now been arrested, but he reckons he's been going around the various vaccine places and he's received up to 90 shots, 90 vaccination shots. Of Pfizer? Well, they don't know.

I think it's a mixture. It's a whole mixture of all sorts. It's a cocktail of vaccinations. He's been doing it for months. They've finally caught up with him. At this stage, they're not sure what it's done to his health or whether he's just super immune from COVID. But 90 shots, how incredible is that?

Why? I don't know. I don't know. So we could talk about him over here in New Zealand on the radio. Surely you get to a point where you're like, hey, I'm probably a little topped up, but I don't know. It does feel like a good radio stunt, doesn't it? How many?

Can we vax the new intern? Vax to the max. Belle, you're our first day here. I've already triple va Vax, guys. No more for me. And the company who made Transmission Gully is on the hook for $26 million worth of fines. Now, this new road opened just out of Wellington last week,

and it was three months too late, and they reckon $250,000 a day was the fine that it has racked up. So, so far, I don't know if they'll be having to pay this. And in unrelated news, a roading construction company has gone into liquidation today. Yeah, well, the road cost enough. You've driven on the road, actually, Bill. Yeah, I got to drive on it the first morning. I've been working at the Hits in Wellington, and I drove up and got to go on it.

It was very exciting. And, yeah, it was just so cool. It was the first morning of it being open. Was it exciting? Or when you got onto it, were you like, oh, it was very exciting it's a six lane motorway through hills it's beautiful you look down you're seeing landscapes it's it's honestly so exciting jeez oh well we've never had a road so talked about uh yeah said this had more coverage than will smith slapping chris rock yeah it's big news in New Zealand. Five words for 5K.

You're just five words away from $5,000. It is our game of word association. We play it every morning at this time on The Hits. We tell you five words. You tell us what pops into your head after those five words. If all five match up with ours, you win $5,000. Let's bring on Lisa this morning. Good morning, Lisa.

How are you doing? Hi. Good, thanks. What's happened today? What's on the plan for your Monday morning? Work, sadly. Oh, really? Way to bring the vibes down, Lisa.

Way to bring the vibes down. Hey, I tell you what, I'm going to get the vibes back up there because it's a handy Monday. And just simply for you gracing us with your mouth this morning, you're going to get $100 from Employment Hero. Awesome. Thank you. Yeah, so $100 is all yours. We can't take that away from you, but we will try and win you $5,000 right now

with trying to match up five words, okay? Yep, perfect. All right. Okay, what's the most disgusting thing you do with this money, Lisa? I take a trip back home to see my mum, so not really disgusting at all, sorry. Okay, what's the most disgusting thing you do with this money, Lisa? I take a trip back home to see my mum, so not really disgusting at all, sorry. That is disgusting. What do you want?

Disgustingly cute. Yeah, that is cute, isn't it? Oh, that would be cool. Well, whereabouts is your mum? The UK. All right, well, let's try one of that. Okay, Jono, you're going to go away from the Zoom right now. You won't be able to hear this. He's taking his headphones off.

Lisa, let's see if we can win you $5,000. Okay. What pops into your head, Lisa, when I say Einstein? Einstein. Scientist. Scientist. Einstein. That word kind of tripped me up for some reason. Einstein. Albert Einstein. Yeah, Einstein. Yeah. Okay, Einstein scientist. Grammy is word number two. Grammy, are they on today?

Award. Award. Yeah, that's good. Spa is word number three. Spa. S-P-A? Spa. Bath. Spa, bath. Bath.

Spa, bath. Nice. Ship is word number four. S-H-I-P, ship. Sea. Sea. S-H-I-P. And cracked is the final one this morning. Something you'd get to your windscreen if you drove across the new highway out of Wellington,

but cracked, C-R-A-C-K-E-D. Cracked. It's tricky when you get put on the spot. There's so many options. Yeah, definitely harder. Cracked. Broken. Broken. Broken.

A broken's a good word. That's a good one. Lisa, you played a good game. There were some tricky words in there this morning, some with some various options. I'll try and wave to Jono. Here he is. He's coming back.

You're backing. Oh, no. The Zoom's unstable. He said it was unstable beforehand. He's back. Are you back? I'm an unstable individual. Maybe Zoom was the same.

You're unstable. Me and my internet connection. All right, let's try to rip through these before we get unstable again. Okay. First word we said to Lisa this morning, Jono, was Einstein. Einstein. Sorry? What did you say?

Albert. Oh, no. Oh, no, Belle. Well, that's it. Belle's pushing the buttons this morning. As much as I'd love to give it to her, that wasn't what she said. Did you not go Albert Einstein? No, I didn't.

She went scientist. The great scientist. Einstein. Albert Einstein. Albert Einstein was the right answer, though. Oh, no, it wasn't. It was, to went scientist. The great scientist, Einstein. Albert Einstein. Albert Einstein was the right answer, though. Oh, no, it wasn't. It was, to be fair. Let's see how you want to go with the rest of them.

Grammy was word number two. Grammy Award. Well done. Spa was number three. Bath. Oh, yeah. Ship, S-H-I-P, ship. Ship wreck.

No, not quite. And cracked. C-R-A-S-H. Ship wreck? No, not quite. And cracked. CRS. CRS broken. Oh, so not bad there. You guys almost matched up. A three out of five, but not quite all five out of five this morning. Not good enough.

Listen. Yeah, just to rub that in. Listen, you're not going to go and see your mum, but... Never mind. She might do, just not with the money there. Yeah, well, we're giving you $100, Lisa, all right? Thanks to Employment Hero.

Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Love your work, Lisa. You go and keep happy and have a great week. I will, and you. Rise and shine. Time to start the...

Who are we kidding? We're not the boss of you. Jono and Ben on the hits. It's a hundy-mundy. Thanks to Employment Hero. Every caller that gets on the air wins $100. So we've got a whole lot of $100 notes to give away after 8 and Jono

you want, yeah I want to make people not work for them but just explain what they're going to do with it. Well yeah, I mean we've got to give us some content. I mean you can't just we're not like an ATM machine. Well reading 0800 the hits it takes a little bit. The first time I did it before we had to test something and to spell out the thing you know, like that's the effort.

I'm no good with those word numbers. They always bamboozle me, those suckers. But yeah, you've got to, I think, come up with a good reason. Convince us why we should give you the $100. Maybe it's so you can wire transfer it over to that lovely Brazilian gentleman who's been catfishing you for six months. Maybe you want to buy with $100, $250 bags. From Strand Bags.

Strand Bags, you've got bum bags and shoulder bags. Who am I to judge what you spend your money on? But we're just throwing away cash like a rapper in a nightclub this morning. How good is Monday? I know. Hungry Monday, Ben. It makes you feel good. It's all thanks to Employment Hero.

So that's happening after 8 o'clock this morning. Employment Hero, the smarter way to manage people, payroll, and productivity. A lot of P's in that sentence. Can we spend 1,762 hours of work a year at work? You know, that's how many hours. So Employment Hero can make them all more rewarding. I have a question for you. What would you do with the $100?

Well, Warriors, mate. Warriors are coming to play the home game and first games. Can I buy two tickets to the Warriors? And can I take my best friend? I'd give mine to charity.

You wouldn't. Don't say that. Don't. But hey, if you want to buy Warriors tickets for yourself, that's fine. I'd like to support the Warriors.

They haven't had a home game in a while. I'd give it to the Children's Hospital or something. Okay. Now, wait to make me Warriors. They haven't had a home game in a while. I'd give it to the Children's Hospital or something. Okay. No way to make me feel.

Okay. So after 8 o'clock how you can win $100. Enjoy the Warriors though mate. I'm not going. I don't have $100 but I have it to give

away. Jono and Ben. Breakfast on the hits. It is a hundy Monday Jono. We've got plenty of $100 up to grabs. All thanks to

Employment Hero this morning on a Monday morning. So let's rip into it right now. Let's find out who's on 0800 The Hits. Faye joins us on 0800 The Hits. Good morning, Faye. Good morning. Happy Monday to you.

You're elusive. Happy Monday to you and welcome back from the COVID scene. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Seven days of isolation. Oh, sorry. We're talking all over. Here you go, Jono.

She's welcoming me back from COVID. You're not quite back yet. I was going to take a moment. But anyway, Jono, over to you, Jono. Well, you know the funny thing, Ben? I had nothing to say. I just like talking all over you, being a niggle from my spare bedroom over Zoom.

No, it's a handy Monday. You want a handy Monday, baby? Oh, thank Zoom. No, Faye, it's a hundy Monday. You want a hundy Monday, baby? Oh, thank you. Oh, $100. Oh, no, she's got $100. Every caller on the airwaves gets $100. That's how it works, Jono. Yeah.

How's it going? Behave, behave. Behave, Jono. Behave, it's Monday, Jono. Faye's told you to behave. Faye, you've got 10 seconds to show us. You know that show, 60 Seconds, that talent show? I'm lopping 50 seconds off it.

10 seconds. Show us your talent. Take it away, Faye. She's not. What? Happy birthday to you. And it's not even your birthday. There you go.

Faye's got a wonderful talent of telling you it's not your birthday. And, Jono, is it your birthday or not? No. It's not your birthday. Faye picked it. She knew it wasn't your birthday. And Jono, is it your birthday or not? No. It's not your birthday. Faye picked it. She knew it wasn't your birthday. That's her talent. Damn, you're the best.

That's why you're one of the best, Faye. That's why you'll be going through the boot camp. Faye, we're going to give you $100. Thank you so much for listening to the show. Have a great Monday. It's all thanks to Employment Hero, the smarter way to manage people, payroll, and productivity. Should we take another call right now, John?

Is that all right with you? Yeah, that's all right with me. You don't have to chat with me. Kingsley, you're on. Welcome. Hi, good day, mate. How are you? You've got 10 seconds to tell us why you need this money.

Go. Well, I rolled my ankle really badly last night around home and I'm heading up to A&E, so I'm thinking a little bit of money might cover it. Oh, jeez. Now, how did you roll your ankle? Any great story or was it just one of those, I was just walking to the fridge or something? It was a bit of a great story.

The plumber had dug a hole in my lawn, put a new drain in last week, and so last night I decided to do a spider spray with my motorized sprayer, and I was looking up at the gutter and spraying away, and without realising, just literally walked straight into the hole. Oh, jeez.

I don't even know what a spider spray is but it sounds impressive. You know like a pest spray that you spray on the heaths of your house. Ben you'd usually pay someone to do that for you mate. I was imagining him in his Spiderman suit out there in the backyard doing some sort of Marvel move

or something but no it wasn't quite what I thought. Next time I think I will probably get someone to do it. Yeah. Well, listen, I'd be a monster not to give you this $100. So thanks to Employment Hero. It's a handy Monday. I hope your ankle's all right. Okay.

And I hope... Oh, legend, guys. Thank you. Have a great Monday. We've got plenty more $100 to give away. Thanks to Employment Hero. So 0800 the hits if you want $100. Make Monday a little better.

And you can manage everything from contracts to promotions all in one place. Employment Hero makes being the boss easy. $100 still to give away to many, many more callers before 9 o'clock. Many, many more. Jono, you're still broadcasting from home today. I'm back in the studio. Yeah. Hey, I was two days behind you on your wonderful journey.

Everything you were feeling two days ahead of me, I knew was what was coming, how I was going to feel. And tomorrow we get to join. Can you believe there's nothing we don't do separately? We even do COVID together. We've even got a, do you know Belle who's joining us today in for due? Belle, we've even got a joint email. What is this?

I don't have the access to that yet. What is it? Because we don't check it. Joint bank accounts, joint PIN numbers. What else are we sharing? That's the problem. We hardly give it to anyone because none of us check it. We keep forgetting.

Ben, we've got a joint, like you say, joint bank account. He sometimes gives me my savings, don't you If I've been a good boy Now on Friday we were both working from home And it was April Fool's Day And I was getting the biggest prank of them all, COVID From producer Bee Humps We're blaming for that one

Yeah, the Humphrey strain But we've got a history of pranks Over the years, haven't we, Jono Like from our TV shows covering, you know, post-it notes over houses and buying every ticket of a Guy Williams' comedy show. You know, it's happened in the past. And so my daughters, my two young daughters, Sienna and Indy,

I don't know if I should be proud or also worried that on Friday, because they were at home. They weren't at school because they were isolating as well. They were. They were. Geez, they were working hard. While I was doing radio, they were working hard on some pranks. Were they pranking you?

Well, they come from good lineage, don't they? I mean, your dad, Kevin, he's not shy of a cheeky prank, is he? It's been passed on through the boy's DNA. It runs rich through your blood. And I don't know if I should be worried or not or impressed, as I said, but it started even when I was doing the radio, and then Sienna, one of my daughters, went in to wake up her sister very, very early in the morning

to say that she had a Zoom for school. And why wasn't she awake? She even recorded it on the phone. Indy, you've got a Zoom in 10 minutes. Won't you? Not yet. So it started very, very late. Poor Indy.

So that got Indy's day off to a bit of a shaky start. But then they joined together as a sort of prank duo, much like the two of us, Jono. What time was the prank Zoom meeting? Yeah, she was going at about 6 o'clock in the morning to wake her up for that one. But then we were working till after midday on the radio show, so what I discovered is that I was discovering

all these pranks around the house throughout the rest of the day. There was toothpaste under door handles. There was all your standards. There was cling wrap on the toilet as well. They made me a coffee at one stage with condensed milk. I was like, oh, this is great. My daughters have made me a coffee.

Ah, prank. And they didn't know about the 12 o'clock cutoff, so I had to tell them about that one. Yeah, so I don't know if I should be... You know when to put sunscreen on later? It was filled with egg white. I was like, so yeah. Just a relentless attack.

Yeah, I was like, what have I done? I've got COVID. That was the thing. I was like, I've got COVID, guys. I don't need all this. Now I'm able to clean up my mess on the bathroom floor, thanks to the Gladware. That's a champagne one.

Did that get you? No, fortunately I saw it just as. As soon as it starts splashing back on your legs, you're like, oh. There we go. Questions start being asked. Get fueled up with the Hitz Fuel Grab. You can win your share of thousands of dollars worth of fuel with the Hitz Fuel Grab. We do it every morning around about 8 to 20,

and it happens again this afternoon at 5.20 with Brad and Laura. It's all thanks to Gas Petrol Service Station. Supporting gas, you're supporting Kiwis 100% Kiwi-owned. John O'Prior, you still with us over Zoom? Do you know we missed a shit? Well, I think so. Am I still here? I'm talking to someone. Yeah, no, you are talking. Yeah, it was not our smoothest radio. In fact, no, it probably is some of our better radio, to think so. Am I still here? I'm talking to someone. Yeah, no, you are talking.

Yeah, it was not our smoothest radio. In fact, no, it probably is some of our better radio, to be honest, if you've heard some of the show. Mate, I've taped the whole thing. We're sending this off to the World Radio Awards, buddy. Don't you question that. We missed a huge pun on Friday, which I saw the hits to, April Fuels Day.

Oh, yeah, it was good, wasn't it? Yeah. Yeah, well, this doesn't work as well on a Monday afterwards, but anyway, I'll take the hit for it. Now, joining us is Denisha. Welcome. How are you? Good, thanks.

How are you? Denisha, I love your name. Awesome. So it's Delisha? Oh, I love it less now. You're isolating at home? Yes, with a sick husband and two sick boys. And so far you've managed to avoid it?

I know, it's like I'm a super mum. I'm just not catching the bug, which is great. What happened in my household, my daughters and my wife never got it after a week, so hopefully fingers crossed for you. Wow. My wife and daughter didn't get it either. We thought maybe this Omicron strain is just designed for white middle-aged men. Exactly.

It seems like it. Yeah, it's going to take us down. Those guys have had it too good for too long, those white middle-aged men. Hey, Delisha, have you heard this game before? Yes, I've been listening on the radio. All right, we're going to put you over to the fuel pump in just a second. You've got to yell stop beforehand. Someone on Friday got so caught up with the kids jumping on the tramp,

they didn't quite yell stop. So it's over to you to yell stop before the buzzer runs out, before the fuel pump runs out. Okay. How shocking is their attention span? They forgot they were on a radio competition. I can imagine it'll happen. You know, you're just listening away.

All right, here we go, Denisha. We'll throw you over to the fuel pump now. Awesome. $50. $150. $175. $200. Oh, well done.

Yay! $200 gas coming your way thanks to gas petrol service stations. Was it a tactic, $200? Yes. And of course, you're on air as well, $100 as well for Hundy Mundy. Oh, wow. How awesome is that? Oh, jeez, you're winning.

Let's see what you could have won. Let's see where the pump would have run out. Let's have a listen. $260. $260. $290. $290. $300. $320.

$360. It's going up, this one. $390. Oh, not bad, though. $200 is still pretty good, and $100 cash for a Hyundai Mundi, thanks to Employment Hero as well. Thank you so much. It's awesome.

Hey, can you do us a favor, Delisha? Can you just go, John and Ben, you've filled up my car, and you've filled up my heart. Can you just say that for me? John and Ben, you've filled up my car, and you've filled up my heart, you filled up my heart. Can you just say that for me? Jono and Ben, you filled up my car and you filled up my heart and you made my Monday. Thank you. What purpose was that for, Jono?

Is that what? Well, she wasn't going to say it herself. You know, they'll use it in one of those little promos on the hits all day. Oh, it was so lovely that Danisha said that. But yeah, Jono actually made her do it. You have a great Monday, right? Thank you so much. Dancing with the Stars is coming back at two three.

Get on the floor. Get on the, get on the, get on the floor. And some of the celebrities getting on the floor are Sonia Gray from Lotto, Eric Murray, Roa, Jazz Thornton, mental health advocate, and broadcaster Kerry Woodham, who of course you'll know from News Talk ZB. And she joins us right now.

Kerry, good morning. How are you doing? Very, very good morning to you. I'm a shattered wreck, but thank you for asking. Well, it's interesting. I thought you would say, you didn't say what you normally say. We've played you this montage before. Kerry, have a listen.

You didn't say you were good, thank you. Good, thank you. Good, thank you. Good, thank you. Yeah, good, thank you. Good, thank you. Great, thank you. Good, thank you. Good, thank you. Very well, thank you Yeah, good thank you Good thank you Great thank you Good thank you

Good thanks Very well thank you Good thank you Good Great thank you Good thank you Great thank you Yeah, good thank you

Good thank you Good thanks I'm very well thank you Good thank you Good thank you Great thanks Good thank you Hi, I'm well thank you

Good thank you So Kerry, you're shattered That's how you are today You're not good thank you Well, you're going to add that to your poor old montage, Kerry, you're shattered. That's how you are today. You're not good, thank you. Well, you're going to add that to your poor old montage, can't you? Now, Kerry, be honest. Were you giving us a Jada Pinkett Smith eye roll just then? Ah, yeah.

And wishing I had a Will Smith next to me. No. Hey, very exciting, mate. Dancing with the stars. Now, obviously, this has just been announced, Hey, very exciting, mate. Dancing with the stars. Now, obviously, this has just been announced, but months, I imagine, of training have gone into this. No, no, no, no.

No? No, no, it's only been a week of training. Oh, and I lied. Only seven days of training. Yes, it is. It's like there was sort of the murmurings of a show last year, late last year. And then on the second day that we were supposed to be rehearsing, the news came out about some bloody outbreak. And Jared and I looked at each other and we knew.

And that was a thing with the long lockdowns. No, we've only had a week of training. And I've run six marathons and I've climbed Kilimanjaro. But I would have to say this is really, really tough. Wow, really? So, yeah, what's Kerry Whittam like on the dance floor? Like, I can imagine you're cutting some shapes there, Kerry. Oh, would you say that?

No, I don't think the dance world has uncovered a hitherto lost treasure. Yeah, because you need length of bone. You know, like to run marathons, you just need grip determination and you need to not give out. But for dance, I mean, think Samantha Hayes, think Lorraine Downs, Rachel Hunter. And does Fury Woodham fit into that oeuvre?

Probably not. No? She does in my mind. Well, no, it's just something I've always, always wanted to do is to be able to learn to dance. I've always wanted

to dance and I've loved dancing with the stars when I've been a viewer but I've always been too scared to do it because you're really vulnerable because you could look ridiculous.

Well, listen, there's going to be no lower point than David Seymour twerking so you're not going to reach those lows. Well, you know, but then I kind of thought, you know, so what? David went out there and took risks and people laughed and he soared in his political career.

Rodney Hyde, you know, he dropped a crystal on her head and people, you know, nobody will ever forget that. But he went out and made major lifestyle changes and lived a rich and full life as a result of his involvement. And so what if I make a fool of myself? I've certainly done it before, and I don't care. I don't care. I'm so sick of living a safe life over the last two years

that that was really the impetus that I thought, you've been given this amazing opportunity, take it. Good on you, Kerry. What a great attitude. Honoured, and I just hope I get past the first round. I'm sure you will, Kerry Woodham, part of a stellar line-up of Dancing With The Stars,

and I tell you what, the next work Christmas party, I want to see you cha-cha-charring up a storm at the Empire, Kerry. Well, I'll need a partner, so you're on. What do you think, on 11080 News Talks, what do you think, I mean, they're very critical of the Labour government, what do they think they're going to say about your dancing

when you do talkback each day? I really don't care. I love it. Is that how you feel about the callers every day? Well, I mean, they're perfectly entitled to their opinions, but I don't take them on board. Just as I hope they wouldn't take mine on as well. Oh, that's very cool.

That's an amazing thing that you're doing. It's going to be awesome to see you on the screen. So good on you for doing this, and the reasons behind it sound cool. It's terrifying. It is absolutely terrifying, but so long since I've lived in that zone, it feels good to be back being scared and out of my comfort zone.

Well, good on you. You're going to have no regrets. Kerry Woodham, love talking to you. You keep well and happy training. Thank you so much. Breakfast with Jono and Ben. It's a Monday morning and we're making Monday a lot better with a Hundy Mundy.

Every caller that gets on the airwaves gets $100 thanks to Employment Hero. Hayley, welcome. How are you? Good morning, guys. I'm very good. I'm chirpy. Is this Hayley from Hamilton? It is. How are you guys? Oh, we're doing all right. I never forget a voice. Well, we always do, actually.

You don't. Don't say that because I'm going to test you on the next caller, right? Who said that? You did. Hayley, $100. Well because I'm going to test you on the next call, all right? Who said that? You did. Hayley, $100. Well, I want to give her $100. Thanks to Employment Hero.

She's on the airwaves. But, Johnna, do you want to jump through hoops or do anything this morning? Yeah, I want you to show us your talent in 10 seconds, Hayley. This hasn't been pre-prepared, so it needs to be good. Take it away. Okay, I've got absolutely no talent. I was trying to think of an interesting story to tell you, and I've got none of those either. But on the weekend, I went to a gin tasting.

One of my friends has a gin subscription, which I didn't even know was a thing. She's got 30-something bottles, and I got through 16 of them. And then I had to play soccer the next day, which was not great. Oh, jeez. You drink 16 bottles of gin? Surely not the whole. No, 16 tastings.

Oh, 16. I was going to say, wow, I'm surprised you're still alive. No, not the whole. Are we talking to you from the critical care unit in the hospital right now? Jeez. Jeez, Hayley. I thought with $100 I could buy a fancy bottle of gin. Yeah, well, it sounds like she needs more gin in her life there.

Yeah. Yeah. You had a remarkable talent of sucking up the 10 seconds of talent line saying how you had no talent. So, well done. That is a talent. Hayley, $100. You enjoy your Monday, all right?

Awesome. Thank you, guys. Have a good day. It's good, isn't it? It's a good way to start the week. Handy Monday. We've got Crystal on 0800 The Hits. Good morning, Crystal.

Yeah, good morning. How are you? We're doing all right. What's your talent, Crystal? Hit us with it. No one's been prepared on talents. Why are you doing this? My talent is I can whistle like a cricket.

Oh, okay. Well, we've got a talent. Okay, we'll go. That's really good. That's really good. I would crumble in that situation. I don't have a talent that I can do. You can hear the good. I would crumble in that situation. I don't have a talent that I can do. You can hear the show.

I'm very untalented. That's incredible, Crystal. Well done. Oh, thanks. Crystal, there we go. Stepped up to the mark. I knew eventually, I mean, she was our 10th caller. If I just kept asking, what's your talent,

one of them was going to come through for us. $100 thanks to Employment Hero coming your way. Oh, my gosh, that's amazing. You'll enjoy that, Crystal. What are you going to spend that on, Crystal? I'm taking my son on a wee shopping spree. Oh, nice. That's great.

That cricket noise, has that served you any good or any purpose in life until now? Not really, apart from I got the nickname Cricket at School because my name's Crystal. And you won $100 with it on the hat, so there you go that's amazing i can't believe it all right good morning enjoy your shopping spree uh monday uh just started should we take one more let's try and squeeze in one more call okay all right who have we got on the phone janina are you there good morning hey janina go talent now 10 seconds talent yeah well john is making everyone do Hey, yeah. Janina, go. Talent now. Ten seconds. Talent? Yeah, well, Jono's making everyone do talent. It wasn't a talent thing. There's a show on TV that does talents.

I don't know why we're doing it on the radio. Hey, why are you talking over her talent time? I don't have any talent. That's right. You rang 0800THETHITS. That's your talent. Oh, my talent is winning things, actually. I'm good at that.

Yeah, she's good at it. And she won $100. Woohoo. Yeah. Tell us what stuff you've won then. I won a vanity, actually, off the hits. Oh, nice.

A vanity. It's like the freezing cold shower thing singing in the shower. Like a bathroom vanity? Did we give away a vanity? Seems like an obscure prize. Well, you could win a whole bathroom set

But I wasn't a very good singer So I didn't win that Well and spare a thought for the person Who came third place and won a toilet seat Oh Jania we got you $100 Alright enjoy your Monday Thank you It's all thanks to Employment Hero

The smarter way to manage people, payroll and productivity If you're tired of admin that comes with running your business, Employment, Hero makes HR recruitment and payroll easy. It is the hits. You've got John on bed. Belle Crawford filling in for producer Juliet. She's not with us anymore. So what's happening with Spy, Belle?

Yes, Spy. Thanks to the Kardashians streaming April 14th. Only on Star on Disney+. Now, first up, I tease that Benefit 2.0, you know, Ben Affleck, Jennifer Lopez, they're not playing with us. This is not some stunt. They are actually together. And they have taken their relationship to the next level by buying, get this,

a $96 million mansion in Balliol. Wow. That's almost as nice as the one Will Smithman lived in with his auntie and uncle. Yeah. And so the reason that Jennifer Garner, Ben's ex-wife, isn't happy is because she's worried that the kids are going to like his house more because it's fancier than hers. So she doesn't, you know. She also got to imagine she'd have a mansion though, wouldn't she?

Of course. But, you know, he's got the new flash one, nearly $100 million New Zealand dollars. Like, that's going to be a nice house. Now, Ben, you came from a household that your parents went their separate ways. Yeah. Whose house did you enjoy staying at more? Don't, don't, stop bringing this.

This is a long time ago. Let's not go back there. Why don't you publicly state that today? No, why? For what reason? For what reason at all? There's no good reason to do that. No, no.

Anything quickly. Grammy's on today, Belle, isn't it? Kevin or Jenny. Yeah. So the Grammys are on today. They've been delayed. They're on in Vegas. Midday our time.

Now, hopefully after last week's awards, there's no slapping. There's no assaults going on stage. No, the opposite. More slapping, there's no assaults going on stage. No, the opposite. More slapping, please. No. They've dropped Kanye, Yay West, from the performers' line-up after his recent behaviour online and harassing Skeet. And that's all we've got time for.

Have a great day. We'll catch you tomorrow.