Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: Nothing Feels Worse Than Being A Road Cone In A School Production

Episode Date: June 21, 2021

Kia Ora! On today's show we asked you guys what minimal roles in your school production you were given, and we had some brilliant calls. Nothing hurts your ego like having to play a road cone! Jono got into another internet wormhole, this time about who the richest fictional characters are. Yes, we know that it would be impossible to measure this, but from what we know, there are some damn wealthy characters! Finally, we caught up with the winner of RuPaul's Drag Race Down Under - Kita Mean, and my gosh our chat with her was FILLED with innuendos! Enjoy the show.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast, Tuesday the 22nd of June. It's Jono and Ben here, lovely to have you with us. And Ben Boyce is just looking at the entries for the New Zealand TV Awards, and he was querying whether he should enter himself in for TV Legend.

Oh, that was clearly a joke. I'd enter you for TV Legend. Can I enter you in? No, I don't think so. I think it's more of a prestigious people that actually have succeeded in TV. What if I entered you in and you won TV Legend? Would you be happy or disappointed? I don't think I would be. I'd be embarrassed you in and you won TV Legend? Would you be happy or disappointed? I don't think I would be. I'd be embarrassed because

I'm not a TV Legend. Embarrassment would be the feeling. Well, I'm definitely entering you in for TV Legend. I'm not a TV Legend though, that's the thing. Who is? Name a TV Legend. Paul Holmes would be a TV Legend in New Zealand. You would have thought he would have won

this prestigious award. Mike Hosking I would say would be a TV legend in New Zealand. So you would have thought he would have won this prestigious award. Mike Hosking, I would say, would be a TV legend in New Zealand. Judy Bailey would be another TV legend. Michael Galvin, Chris Warner, they would be all TV legends to me. People that are just being TV legends. No, not a legend. Clearly you're taking the bus. It's a big step down.

But you're on a wall of legends in Marsden. Oh, no, but that was really just, no, no. At the Lone Star? No. Are you still on that wall? I think so, apparently. I get photos from mates every now and again who go there. I'm telling you, we'll call them now. Oh, do we have to? Yeah. It's on there, mate. It's on there. But they might have

taken it down. Oh no. We need to update the photo. What is the photo? It's an old, old one, you know? Okay, Lone Star Masterton. Now, Masterton was Ben's hometown if you didn't realise. We actually phoned there today during the show because we're doing a 90s programme on Friday, taking it back to where the Hits radio

station first started. And we called your old landline, which was in Masterton. Yeah. And it was working. The lady was lovely. Oh, she was awesome, actually. So you'll get that on the podcast. I'd be... No, I don't know if they'll be open now, but we'll give it a go. Oh, they might be closed, yeah. I mean, no one's eaten a giant Johnny Cash stash.

At 9.30 in the morning. Unless they're prepping for the day. Probably a lot of food to prep, given the amount they serve on a plate. Humongous meals at the Lone Star. No. No. You've reached Lone Star, Masterton. You're possibly reached after all the rumours.

Yeah, no, we'll ditch that. We'll just assume that it's still happening. In fact, no, let's call somewhere else in Masterton. What? This is a podcast intro. We've done a whole show that people want to get into. Here we go. Master them. I've got other,

I'm going to go back to looking at the TV awards. You do it. I'm going to join her in the podcast intro. Okay, I'll take

You carry on from here. Okay, I'll take over here. Heaven sent. Here we go. Oh, six. I'll call somewhere

else to see if you're there. This is a florist in Masterton. Heaven Sent Floristry. They actually look like they do some lovely flowers. Good morning, Heaven Sent Florist. We're speaking with Valerie. Valerie, I was just complimenting you on your lovely flowers. Oh, thank you. I'm looking at pictures on the internet here was just complimenting you on your lovely flowers. Oh, thank you. I'm looking at pictures on the internet here, and boy, those are some lovely flowers.

Oh, thank you. Now, it's Jono and Ben here from The Hits. Yes. We're doing our podcast introduction. Now, Ben Boyce, I don't know if you realise, is a local Masterton legend. Okay, I'm going to put Barb on because she's the florist and the owner of the store. Oh, Barble, Barble, no? Yep, just a moment. Stop the clocks, it's amazing. Good morning, Barb speaking. Hi, Barb. How are you? How am I or who am I? How are you?

Oh, both. You probably want the answer to both questions. I'm doing well. And secondly, it's Jono here from The Hits. Oh, yes. Now, I have a local Masterton legend with me. Right. Do you know who that would be? No.

Can you name some Masterton legends? Relatively new to Masterton. Yep. If I were to say the name Ben. Righto. Boyce? You've lost me. I sort of know the name.

Yeah, right. He's a local Masterton legend. Right. And have you dined at the Lone Star? Yes, I have. Would you be able to tell me yes or no? Is his picture still on the wall of legends At the loan sir I'd have to say yes

It is? Yes You're still there Ben? That's good Because he was wondering whether he should enter TV legend At the New Zealand TV Awards No What do you think Barb?

Just go for it Just go for it you legend Okay Alright we've got Barb's for approval We'll put your name on the entry Okay Alright Is that him or me? No we'll say Okay. All right, we've got Barb's approval. We'll put your name on the entry. Okay. All right.

Is that him or me? Well, no, we'll say Barb the Florist of Marsden said Ben should enter this award. Yep. And we've got your backing. Oh, right. That is brilliant. The backing of the flower community of Marsden. Thank you very much.

You're so very welcome. Thank you. All right, we'll do the admin on that, and we'll give you that award. Now, you'll be happy Thank you. All right, we'll do the admin on that, and we'll give you that award. Now, you'll be happy when you win it. Once you get over the initial embarrassment. Oh, my dream was always to nominate you for the, like, Queen's Honours or something. Oh, no.

And then you not find out until the actual. No, no. Anyway, we'll put you at that. Hey, we'll continue on with the podcast. Have a great day. Bye. Now, I was talking to a lady last week who her daughter was in a school production of Beauty and the Beast.

Oh, lovely. It's a nice movie, Beauty and the Beast, isn't it? That's good. Yeah. Although it's a little, there's a few plot holes until I'm always like, why is Gaston not questioning that he's fighting furniture? all the furniture comes about yeah not one point is he like this is unusual yeah yeah but anyway uh and so they were doing a school production um of beauty and the beast but

the thing is with school productions you got a lot of children and only so many characters to cast the core cast yeah you want to give everyone a role that wants to be involved don't you yeah i mean i thought i remember i went to a nativity play and they had uh three break dancers i was like where was the i can't remember i remember the three wise men but they were in there oh they left and then the break dancers the break dancing yeah i think that's in the book which is and uh you know i thought the only question i'd have about the whole thing was how's the virgin giving birth? But no, breakdance is coming into the scene, really. So she was saying her daughter was in Beauty and the Beast

and she wasn't one of the core cast. And she said, oh, well, darling, what are you in the school production? Which is in a few weeks' time. She said, I'm the face raiser. What? Oh, the face raiser. What? And the face raiser.

I assume when he transforms from Beast He probably needs a bit of a shave Doesn't he so She's the Gillette Mark IV And the face ray Oh the razor Is there a razor I don't know if there is a razor technically

But I like how they've added a new role I think it was Magic that transformed him Well now it's a Gillette Mark IV. Oh, great. Well, that works as well. That works even better because you get sponsorship in there. I hope there's a can of shaving foam as well because you don't want the beast to get a shaving rash.

No, true. It's been a while since he's shaved. So teachers have to take a bit of creative license, don't they? Yeah, I like it. It's good. Just getting everyone on board. I saw a picture online of a... I don't know what the play was,

but a child literally lay on stage as a piece of grass the 60 minute production that's sad i can't remember the play that i was doing as a child but i remember i was riding a horse in for it and i'm probably no it was just two of my mates that were underneath. They were the horse, underneath like a blanket with a head thing. And midway through, they sort of separated. Splitting your legs. And I fell between the two of them, down towards, because they were,

I was kind of, yeah. So that was it. They had minimal roles, especially the one, the guy at the back of that. He was the horse's ass. He was. That's what the car says. He did.

After that incident, they had to put the horse down. If I look away, we'll bring out the white sheet. Some other kid playing the rifle. No. Let's check this open. A800, the hits, 4487. What bit part did you play as a child, or maybe your children have played, in a school production?

Yeah. Just to get them on stage, bit of screen time. Juliet, this happened to you. Yeah, I was one of three rogue people that we were cast in. Kind of clown suits. Nothing to do with what the play was about. And we would come on when it would fade to black and just do silly little

dances just to entertain the crowd. And then it would come, all the lights would come back on and then we'd run off. Yeah. It was Anne Frank's diary. Oh. Talking about what the minimal role that you or someone you know played in a school production. Yeah, I just found out a friend of ours' daughter's playing the face raiser in Beauty and the Beast. I mean, the Beast looked like he could have done with a shave, so maybe they could have factored that into the original movie.

But we'll start with Maureen. Welcome from Auckland, Maureen. Good morning. Good to have you on. Now, was this you, your daughter, your son? No, it was my daughter. So it's not as bad, I think, as that face razor. But she was in a production for Cinderella. And she came home. She was happy.

She was one of the girls' search party. So basically the whole role evolved around 10 minutes before the end of the show where she just had to be one of those girls trying the shoe that was supposed to be for Cinderella and she was supposed to shrug off because it didn't fit basically. So she was a part of the search party trying to find the shoe, was she? Not to try on the shoe.

Try on the shoe, you know, either way around. Cinderella had a very unique foot size that no one else in the whole kingdom had. She was the only size 8 US. Really? No one else had none? I'm 9.5. You're right. Well, that's not a bad role. I mean, at the pin, it comes in as an impact player at the end of the production.

We'll get Nicole on. Welcome. How are you? Hello. What was your daughter? She was made to be a star standing in the corner of a stage for a Baby Jesus production. She just stood there like a puffed up star. A lot of respect though for those roles

because they have to stay still like a tree as well. Yeah, she did. It was a good 15 minutes. She just stood there. She was like four years old. But technically you are the star of the production. You're like, I'm the star of the production. Yeah, no, she was. She was great.

And it's a win-win. You don't have to remember any lines. No, I love it. Yeah. Good on you. Thank you. Kylie's on from Auckland. We understand this was an original production, Kylie.

What was the bit part for your child? Yeah, so my school wrote their own production, and my role and my friend's role was to be at low worms while they set up the like rest of the stage for everyone else that 10 seconds we had to face the back of the stage while we had flashlights taped to our bums. Tape to your bums? Flashlights. How are we going to get their bums to light up? Okay, let's do a bit of a brainstorm here.

Take some flashlights. Light bulbs? Do you screw a light bulb in? Yeah, also like a really bad $2 shop flashlight. I love the glowworms. The glowworms have made no real connection to the rest of the show, but I love it. It's like Juliet's role, the filler content in between scenes. Yeah, I love it. Yeah, exactly. Thanks for listening, Kylie. Appreciate it. connection to the rest of the show. It's like Juliet's role, the filler content in between scenes.

Thanks for listening Kylie, appreciate it. Morena to Tracy in Christchurch, what was the bit part you played in a school production? Hi, so my intermediate wanted to get more people on stage for Grease, so they gave me the role of being a road cone. I kind of just

sat there on stage the whole time and stuck being a road cone. I kind of just sat there on stage the whole time and stuck as a road cone. So it was a great experience. I love it. All Greece land and all the road cones singing. It's great. And then if you want to park the car in there, you move the road cone, you put it there.

It's great. But a road cone, it's so good. I love it. Did you expand your career as a road cone? No, unfortunately not. My family sat there and laughed at me, so I thought it was time to end my career. Oh, I love it.

Thank you very much. Thank you so much. You're cool. I appreciate all the calls and texts. Jono's internet wormhole. Jono loves getting lost on the internet, and what today? Today, where have you been lost?

It's one of my favorite hobbies and interests, getting lost on the internet. Sucking up the work Wi-Fi for no good reason. This could be put to far better use. But today, a list of the richest fictional characters. So these are from movie and TV shows. And we apply the same format. As soon as you guys are bored, you'll pull pin on this. And then we move on. Oh, yeah. No, I'm curious about this one you guys are bored? You'll pull pin on this, and then we move on.

Oh, yeah. No, I'm curious about this one. But who's? You'll be surprised that Christian Grey, who boasted he was on 100 grand a day, he's not even made the list. Oh, really? Christian Grey hasn't been. How do we know?

There's no IRD to order these characters because they're fictional. So how do they know, really? Is this based on their appearance? Based on their who? Oh, it's based on, you know, quips they've given. No one's delving into their files, their tax returns, are they? No, this is a vague... You know, the information they've given us as characters...

OK, based on the current information. The list has been formed. So Christian Grey hasn't made the cut, so if he maybe spent less time pushing lovemaking boundaries in that weird dungeon of his, then he might be a bit higher up the list. How did he make his money? I don't know. There wasn't his money? I don't know.

There wasn't an important. I don't think. If you went along to 50 Shades of Grey, you're like, Hey, honestly, look at all this money. How did this guy make his money? You're probably thinking about the wrong things during the movie. Oh, yeah. So that was a dungeon question.

Is he paying tax? He just did 100 grand a day. Maybe he's Apple. Who knows? Sorry, bad question. He amassed his fortune through the greatest power of them all. Nuclear power. Montgomery Burns.

He's worth 1.3 billion from the Simpsons. Mr Burns, so he comes in at number six on the list. Fair enough. He's got a tuxedo, a top hat, and collecting more than $200 as he passes go, the Monopoly Man. Oh. He had a net worth of 2.5 bills.

Oh, no. See, I don't agree with that one because the money's not. How much real estate is the guy? The money's no good here. The money's not. It's fictional money. The Monopoly money, you can't take that to a store. Do you know he's got a wife? The Monopoly. Madge. Madge is his wife. So fictional money. The Monopoly money. You can't take that to a store. Do you know he's got a wife?

The Monopoly. Madge. Madge is his wife. So Madge and the Monopoly man. He better run Forrest Run back to the bank to deposit his fortune. Forrest Gump coming in. Wow. 5.7 billion Gump's worth.

What? What did he do in the film? Remember he invested in Apple. He got the. Did he? Yes. Oh, yes yes he had five percent of apple i was thinking the yeah because they had the shrimp franchise with the no no i think that sunk yeah he's worth 6.9 billion he's amassed his fortune through inheritance and wayne enterprises oh bruce wayne 6.9 bill What did Wayne Enterprises do At Gotham City

He was sort of like the Mike Petto Of Gotham City He had a bat cave Without money Batman would be not good He had all the cool stuff Otherwise he's just a guy A weird guy who's got a cave

He's like Christian Grey And Tony Stark Iron Man He's just a guy. A weird guy who's got a cave under him. He's like Christian Grey. And Tony Stark. Oh, yes. Iron Man. Yeah, no, he is worth 9.3 billion. But the winner, with $65.4 billion, on the list of richest fictional characters, he famously stored his money in a giant bin filled with gold coins.

Oh, Scrooge McDuck. Wow. Swimming through the money. I don't know who actually counted every single one of those coins, but that would have been painstaking. Oh, yes. But you're right. That was a huge.

It was almost like a swimming pool size, wasn't it? Like an Olympic swimming pool side room full of coins. Had he not heard of a bank? Yeah. That he'd swim through. And the logistics of swimming through that. But well done, Scrooge McDuck. Yeah, congratulations.

That's obviously very tight. Didn't like giving away his money. Although, who was his nemesis on the show? The Scottish duck. He was a little bit richer, wasn't he? So he would technically be number one. Oh, he might be. What was that guy's name?

Yeah, I know who you mean. Because that was always their beef. They were always like, who's the richest? Anyway, that's the internet wormhole for this morning's Broadcasting Live. And mostly awake. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the hits. We've got something very exciting happening this Friday on the hits. We thought we'd take it back to day one, where the hits all started.

Day one is, yeah, which is the early 90s. And we're going to celebrate with the show on Friday. Well, why am I talking? Shush my lips and let, let, let, let, let, yeah, this is why I should shush my lips, because I can't even say... You know we're part of this, though, this little bit. You've got to...

So I have to open my lips again? Well, no, you've previously. My lips have been opened yesterday, weren't they? Yeah, and we put together this package. So can I shut them now? You probably can. I don't explain exactly what exciting thing is happening on Friday. This Friday, Jono and Ben.

That's us. Step by step. Take it step by step back to when the hits first started. The early 90s. Oh, talk to the hand because the face ain't listening. Oh, I said this Friday, Jono and Ben. Sorry, no, sorry, the face ain't listening. It was just I thought I'd try and use a 90s phrase.

Oh, I see. I've heard that one for a while. Yeah, sorry. Are we going to be getting jiggy with it? It's going to be a 90s nostalgia show bigger than the Friends reunion. Oh, my God! Booyah! Take a chill pill. Oh, yeah, I am pretty chill. I was just reading the script.

Oh, anyway, we're going to have the greatest music from the 90s. This is how we do it. And all the great stars from the 90s. Beverly Hills 90210, no you didn't. Oh, yes, I did. You are all that and a bag of chips. Oh, no thanks, I've just eaten. That 90s Show, this Friday with Jono and Ben.

It's going to be aight. Oh, please stop. Booyah. Oh, he's still going. That's fat with a P-H. Yeah, no, I get it. Stop talking. Yes, it is very exciting.

Friday, we're going back to the early 90s, so all the songs are going to be from the 90s. We're going to catch up with some of the stars from the 90s and reflect on when the hits all began. How are we going of the stars from the 90s and reflect on when the hits all began. How are we going tracking down stars from the 90s? I know this was a very stressful task for producer Humphrey. This falls under his jurisdiction. Yeah.

We've said, you know, get us old Shannon from 90210. So the poor guy is in the trenches tracking down stars from yesteryear. And have we got anyone yet? We're advertising that we've got people, Producer Humphrey. He's shaking his head. But the 90s show, we'll see who we can rustle up by Friday. I thought there was a bit of a surprise and a famous voice from the 90s. Is that confirmed?

Oh, yes. Okay, yeah. We're having a conversation with a man you can't hear right now. He's just shaking his head. And hopefully you can gather what we're saying. But yeah, this Friday Yeah, okay. We're having a conversation with a man you can't hear right now. He's just shaking his head. And hopefully you can gather what we're saying. But yeah, this Friday, very exciting. We're going to give away prizes too from the 90s. Chatterings, Tamagotchis, hacky sacks.

We've got them all. Are we producing them? Okay, yeah. Yeah, he's shaking his head up and down. Oh, good. Has he got them? Probably not. But we'll have them by Friday.

Yeah, we'll see. We're all tuning in together. We'll find out what exactly we can deliver on, but it will be a lot of fun. That's for sure. The 90s show happening this Friday at Is The Hits. Scrolling through your feed. Time now for a vague recollection of some topical stories

from the last 24 hours. Well, this today we're going to talk about Netflix. It seems like everyone pretty much has that or has watched something on Netflix. And they've done some research into Netflix and discovered a few things. Firstly, worldwide, nearly half of us have cheated on someone else with Netflix, meaning that, you know, sometimes you have a show you watch with your partner or your flatmate or your friend or whoever's in the household. Nearly half of us have watched that show secretly without them.

You've done that before. You've been guilty of that before, haven't you? Watched ahead and then had to watch. But in the end, it probably bites you later because you end up having to watch the show later. But then you're having to put on a convincing act that you haven't seen the content before. And no one ever knows. No one ever knows how well you've been performing because you can't admit that you're ahead four episodes.

Some of my best acting has been pretending to watch shows that I've already watched. I did not see that coming. They reckon, though, by country, Mexico and Brazil have the most Netflix cheaters. Nearly 60% of subscribers confess to it, where theutch are the most faithful uh 73 remaining true so that was interesting but they're rampant adulterers though the dutch uh but then there's the other thing that netflix recommends that often pops up on your profile netflix will go through and obviously by the algorithms of things that you watch they'll sometimes say hey there's something you might like oh yeah you look at mine and you're, what sort of dark stuff is going through this man's mind?

It's all like, world's worst serial murderers. You like all that sort of stuff, right? Yeah, world's funniest serial murderers. World's most caring serial murderers. Yeah, but let's say that I come over to your house and I watch something that you wouldn't want to watch. Then that kind of messes with your algorithms, right? And then it suddenly means that you get recommended some things that you may not may not be for you and this frustrates people i know there's a friend of ours who just refuses to have anyone watch anything on his netflix profile because he's like it screws up

the algorithm he's like even his daughter is like you can't you have to watch your own profile because otherwise i get recommended shows that you want to watch well there is a way you can basically there's a little hack that you can get rid of, basically reset the algorithm for you. So if you want to go into Netflix profile, click on your account, scroll down to my profile, then go into viewing activity. And you can go through all the shows you've ever watched and get rid of ones that you think you like. Get rid of that one, get rid of that one, get rid of that one. And then that will set your new algorithm based on the shows that you like. So then it'll keep recommending.

So if you watch more serial killers. Oh boy, I'm always going to watch more serial killers i know what you're saying because sometimes poppy my daughter will come on and watch like you know hey jesse from disney so then i've got a combination of serial murderers and disney stars yeah i watched that on your profile or you can go through later and you can actually i didn't know you could actually delete uh shows off your profile basically saying off your search history how many streaming services

are you running because I know you're opting you're juggling about 92 free trials but you know yeah there is a few on the go so you'd be having

Sky Sport because you like cricket I have currently at the moment I've got like a week pass like for one week because the cricket's on so I've got an NBA

you've got the NBA pass because it's on the... Do you have Apple? Are you on Apple? No. You did a free trial on Apple. I did a free trial on Apple but sometimes I come back

to these things as well. I think we've got Neon at the moment because Amanda's watching The Handmaid's Tale. Is that on a free trial? No, we're in the deep. I keep going,

do you watch this? Do you watch this? Yeah, I watch this. Because I'm cancelling it as soon as you finish that. It's still going. Disney Plus. Yeah, we've got Netflix as well.

So, yeah, there's a few on the go. There's a few on the go. But then sometimes I love getting rid of them. Like the NBA in a couple of weeks' time. Oh, but that's gone. It's gone. You know, Sky's gone by the end of the week. Like the Brooklyn Nets, that'll be gone.

Yeah. So, yeah. But you've got to keep on top of that. That's a lot of admin to be across is when you're over watching that service. Exactly. Because otherwise, they love to just secretly keep charging you, don't they? Well, that's kind of their job. I don't know if they're so secret about it.

They love to keep taking money out of my credit card. Even though I'm not watching it, they know I'm not watching it. Anyway, yeah. Imagine if they're like, oh, you know, he's faded off. We won't charge him this month. We'd notice that you hadn't watched anything this month. I think they would send Netflix into the doldrums. Yeah, yeah, nah. Yeah, nah.

Yeah, nah. The whole movie. Yeah, nah. She'll be right in at the end of the day. Jono and Ben. Breakfast on the hits. Now, RuPaul's Drag Race is such a great international show and they had a series filmed in Australia and New Zealand, Down Under, it was actually filmed in New Zealand and it was so awesome to see a Kiwi drag queen winning,

taking out the title and she joins us in the studio right now. Keita Mean, congratulations, good morning. Kia ora, thank you for having me. Kia ora, you're looking magnificent as always. Oh, you bloody charmer. I'm always trying to charm the drag queens when they come in here. Congratulations. I mean, it's so cool to see that you won RuPaul's Drag Race Down Under.

That's amazing. Wow. It's just mind-blowing. How long have you had to keep it a secret for? Because obviously it was filmed months ago. Yeah, so I obviously had to keep a secret that I made it to the finals, but I actually didn't know I had won. So they filmed four alternate endings, so everyone that made the finals got crowned actually didn't know i had won so they filmed four alternate endings so

everyone that made the finals got crowned essentially oh really so you found out on saturday night as the rest of the country was watching oh really yeah and i had a little viewing party at my house and like we all turned our phones off and put them in the middle of the room so we couldn't have any spoilers and um yeah it just unfolded in front of me with my friends and family did you feel good going away from the last episode going, well, there's a good chance I could win or you just have no idea? Yeah, you know what? More and more in the lead up, I was seeing the support online,

which was overwhelming and everyone was just rooting for me. We were. That was awesome. Rooting for me, rooting for me, whatever. I'll take it however it comes. Preferably here. Thank God radio is on a visual media. I thought it was just me.

This was the moment, and I loved it. We've had to beep a couple of the words, but I love it. I love what you say here. It's so awesome. Have a listen. The winner of RuPaul's Drag Race, Down Under's first drag superstar, is...

Ketamine. Condragulations, Ketamine. Down Under's first drag superstar is... Keita Mee. Condragulations, Keita Mee. I f***ing said it. You know what? Spread those f***ing wings. You can soar too. Let's do this.

Yeah. Now that I know that there were three other people who also filmed a celebratory end, that was a great act. Yeah. Great act you put on there. Well, no, genuinely, like, there was no act. But when those words come out of RuPaul's mouth, you have this epiphany moment that slaps you in the face.

Like, oh my gosh, if I win, that's me being crowned the winner of, like, the biggest thing in my life so that reaction is genuine genuine so i love this bit too this sounds like a horrific crime has taken place there was a crime that took place and it was in my under ketamine's gonna stick around the winner of rupaul's drag race down under if you've got any questions you want to ask uh give us a text right now we'll put them to the next we're joined in the studio by kiwi drag queen ketamine who just won rupaul's drag race a year's worth of makeup you win as well as thirty thousand dollars which is amazing now it's an american show

filmed in australia and new zealand what's the currency on this? I think it is in Australia. It's not quite American, but it's in Australia. I'm happy. You don't want that in the NZD. I don't mind a little bit of NZD from time to time. Everything I'm saying, I'm like, oh, sure, yeah. It's like you guys have set up. Low-hanging fruit.

Speaking of low hanging fruit have a nibble now just explain for those that don't know the enormity of this like what does this mean for your career and your future wow monumental like it's there's no words to describe

like how huge it is so I'm just like so blessed I would never have thought just like some goofy queer kid that could like you know huge it is so I'm just like so blessed I would never have thought just like some some goofy queer kid that could like you know find drag and turn it into a career I thought that was like the golden opportunity

and now it's so overwhelming and I feel so lucky and blessed and yeah I just like I just want to like keep representing and hitting it hard for New Zealand don't be one of these humble people who has success overseas. Like, forget about us. New Zealand is not good enough for you now.

Go overseas. Now we put it out in the text because we knew you were coming in. There are a couple of questions, if you don't mind, from our text machine. Is it a rude question to ask how you achieve cleavage? That's a question come through. Oh, not at all. Well, like for the most part of my career um i was a lot bigger um so like i had a lot of like extra uh voluptuousness to push together smash together um now i mean the cleavage today is um like rubber it's like

literally what i call a titty bib that you just kind of like throw on oh it's like a chest like yeah right you put it over your shoulders i wasn't reading an article about uh you had you had a sort of life-changing surgery not not too long ago right yeah yeah for sure so um november 2019 i had gastric sleeve surgery and i've lost uh just under 80 kilos so far wow i was reading a teaspoon you would have like a teaspoon of food and you'd feel full was that right oh yeah like when i first had it literally you'd have a sip of water and you'd feel full really yeah for sure but i mean now i can eat more do they put a band around your stomach to sort of no they literally cut your stomach out for the most yeah like yeah they like um just leave you with a little bit of stomach and take the rest of it away physically you actually can't actually hold as much food as you used to

in your stomach yeah i mean it's like um uh stretched a bit now but it's funny because the stomach creates a hormone that tells your brain you're hungry so for the first like six months because your stomach is literally so small that it hasn't stretched yet you're not creating that hormone so you actually like never feel hungry you have to like remind yourself to eat because you start feeling like dizzy really which was so nice i was like who am i it's funny as soon as i lost like five kilos i felt like the lightest thing in the world you know like swishing around you know the downside is you have to buy new outfits though don't you

i mean drag race came at the right time didn't it because i had no drag and then i had to buy drag for drag race so um listen we've uh we've come across you a couple of times now and oh god there we go are we allowed to talk about that but you are genuinely such a what have I done such a lovely person and you know you're always so generous with your time

when you come in and see us and help us out so congratulations thank you one last question from text changes before we go. Um, who's the, uh, the coolest person you've got a message from,

um, so far for being on the show. You know what? The coolest message I got actually was, uh, yesterday and it was like from my dad and like, he is like never been good at like expressing emotion. Uh,

but he just sent me like a really beautiful message, which made me cry. So that's, that's, that's lovely. Oh, that cry so that's the coolest message that's what means a lot right when your parents are supporting you and they always have been but like just to actually have

that like raw emotion like coming from his mouth was just like really beautiful well it was through a text it would be easier for him to do but he's like I'm not going to talk this emotion I guess I love you mate classic generation so awesome as Jono said we're I'm going to talk this emotion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to do it. Yeah, you're like, oh, I guess I love you, mate. Classic generation.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, it's so awesome. As Jono said, we're so proud of you in New Zealand, and congratulations. It's so awesome. Thank you so much. New Zealand's breakfast. This is Jono and Ben on the hits.

Good morning, New Zealand. Welcome on to the show. Tuesday morning, just gone 6 o'clock. And hey, guys, let's not muck around, because we've got a big announcement to make straight off the bat. Three times when you feel it kicking in. Don't sound like, aww. No, the only reason I have disappointment, because we're about to announce something really big regarding laws, is my dream to break an embargo.

It's embargoed until 6am, and I was thinking, what if we came on at 5.59? Oh right, just got in there just beforehand. But nothing too wild, you know, just a minute before. Yeah, well we're just after 6 o'clock because we can talk about this. We're very excited. The hits, Frontier Touring and Ecclesi Entertainment. Very excited to announce Global Powerhouse Lord. She's going to return to stages around New Zealand and Australia

February, March next year. So this is the first time since 2017 sold out melodrama tour that Lord's been in concert around New Zealand which is awesome. So this is the first time since 2017 sold out melodrama tour that Lord's been in concert around New Zealand, which is awesome. So tickets go on sale 5th of July, midday. Starts in Nelson in February 2022. And then goes Wellington, Hawke's Bay, New Plymouth, Outerfields, Western Springs.

You get all the details at the hits.co.nz. If you want a double pass, we've got one up for grabs at 7 o'clock this morning. So Lord's listened to those ads. She's doing something new in New Zealand. She to those ads. She's doing something new New Zealand. She's going around. She's doing like you have. You've done something new New Zealand every weekend, haven't you? Yeah, she has.

Lord's taking a page out of your book. Oh, that'll be exciting. That's really awesome, actually. So, yeah, very cool. So as I say, this morning, a double pass up for grabs. We'll tell you how you can win it. Tune in 7 o'clock this morning. And there we go. We didn't break any rules? No, but we should have. Just be a little bit naughty once.

Because a minute before, it's not like they're going to bother to drag you through the courts. It's within that zone of like, is it worth it? Probably not. It's like when someone's chasing up rent for their rental. Is it really worth it? Are you going to get it at the end? Oh, yeah, we probably do want rent. I get it.

Yeah, you do. Okay, he's shaking his. And they probably do want us to talk about it at the appropriate? Oh yeah, we probably do want rent, I get it Yeah you do, okay, he's shaking his And they probably do want us to talk about it at the appropriate time And we did, so very exciting Lorde, back on tour, tickets this morning 7 o'clock it is there Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime

Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook Just to pull back the curtain a little bit Which we like to do from time to time Usually it's all showbiz, jazz and pizzazz, seamless production. You know how it rolls. At the moment, there's a technical glitch in the studio. Ben, your computer's not working, which is throwing you off. Yes, I can't see what's happening on the radio right now,

which I can see the songs and everything that's playing. But I had that whole thing where I couldn't get the computer to work, but you don't want to be the person to go, oh, can you help me out? And then it'd be really something simple. Because your first port of call is producer Juliet. In fact I phoned producer Juliet on a technical related matter yesterday afternoon.

So she's just my life's port of call when it comes to technical stuff. I got boomed by one of my daughters yesterday because I did something, we took a selfie and I hit the wrong button and it turned off so I boomed her. So I was nervous coming into this. Your generation Juliet has got us all shaky we're like even if we make it it's like an accidental mistake you know what you needed to do for the phone it was just a mishit of a button yeah exactly so I have that in my head this morning when I went to talk to you

about the computer going I better give it you know ten minutes just to see if I can sort the problem out first before I ask you. And you're like, oh, just hit this button. And you came over and I was relieved to know that you couldn't sort it out either. No. Even though it's not good for my job that I can't get on the computer, it was relieving. It's good for your ego. So then, Juliet, you had to make a call to wonderful Bruce. Yes, one of our wonderful tech guys.

And he's currently fixing it at the moment. He's shrugged his shoulders. He's shrugged his shoulders. Bruce is like, I don't know. This is making me feel a lot better now. How long have you worked here, Bruce? Three years. Three years.

Bruce has been fixing stuff at this radio station for a long time. Without Bruce, this thing wouldn't work. No, no. So I'm actually quite relieved there. Well, I'm not relieved. It's kind of weird. It's no. So I'm actually quite relieved there. Well, no, I'm not relieved. It's kind of weird. It's mixed emotions this morning. They're relieved there.

Because there is nothing worse. I love one of my favourite moments is when Jono tries to put something on the internet and has conversations with Juliet. That's what I had to phone her about yesterday. That's what it was about yesterday. Juliet, so how do I? I'm trying to upload a video to Instagram. She answers the phone like hello

Do you know what? I was thinking I was walking around my flat and I heard my phone ring in my pocket, I was like if this is someone from work, can I be bothered answering it? It's that punisher for the office And I saw Jono Pryor, I'm like Hi! She had to put on a happy voice

And so what was the issue? It was, oh Juliet, I'm trying to download a video on my phone to then post on Instagram. But where does it go on your phone when you download a video? Where does it go? But I know what you mean. Where does it go? You push download.

I don't know where it ends up. I was the same as you. I spent five minutes trawling through my phone. I was like, there's a file sitting here? No, not in there. Is it in the cloud? I don't know where it is. I've downloaded so many things, but to where?

I know. Probably to like my neighbour's phone or something. I did that yesterday. We took some photos and then I went to share it over the eardrop. And then I went, oh, that'll be your one, Judy. And you're like, that's not me. So I shared two photos. Oh, yeah.

And it was my head as a breast or something. It was kind of odd. So someone around the office would have gone, oh, okay. This is very unusual. The Google Game. I love this game. This is my second favorite game. Oh, okay.

What's your favorite? Hide your swipe card. Hide my swipe card. And you're always like, where is it? And I'm always like, mm-hmm. Oh, yeah. It's a fun game for everyone to play except for me. Really?

Yeah, no, you can get isolated around the building without the swipe card. You can. Yeah. And when you don't bring it, you realise how handy a swipe card is, don't you? And then you have to borrow other people's and they all... Anyway, I've hidden it today, Ben. We'll see if you can find it before the end of the show. But first, we're going to play the Google game.

So how it works is you give us a call. Oh, Android, that hits. And you ask us any question at all. You don't really even need to know the answer of the question. You just need to put us on the spot. We have 10 seconds to try and Google the answer. If we can't do it in 10 seconds, you win. Today, it's Hell Pizza.

Okay, let's do an example now. Juliet, ask us a question. How many dormant volcanoes are there in South America? Wow, where did that come from? I don't know. Off the top of your dome. That was very specific, too. That was 174.

Wow. Yeah. There you go. I was well impressed, though, with the example question. It's an obscure question. It was, wasn't it? I was thinking of my toes. I was like, okay, these boys are probably going to ask me

to ask them a question. What's a really random one I can think of? I appreciated that. That was really good. Yeah, we put you under pressure and you succeeded. So 0800 the hits telephone number. If we don't get your answer in 10 seconds, you win big. The Google Games is how it works.

Give us a call right now if you want to play the google games oh 800 the hits so we got hell pizza up for grabs you just ask us any question at all we've got 10 seconds uh one of us has 10 seconds to frantically try and google the answer if we can't do it in 10 seconds you win yeah brought to you by our partners at google.com if you can't find it on google well then you probably need to go to the dark web paul you're on from dope ball how are you this morning? I'm good. How are we doing, guys?

Oh, lovely today for a Tuesday. Relatively good. Adequate this morning. Adequate? You can't be adequate. You've got to be above average. Yeah, no, I'm pretty adequate until sort of Wednesday. Thursday, Friday rolls by.

Slightly above average then. But your question, we've got 10 seconds to Google it. Ben's on the keyboard this morning. What is it Paul? Okay, can you spell the longest place name in the world? Oh, the longest place name. He's done well because he knows the time limit's going to trip you up here.

You're never going to fit it in. Oh, the longest one is 85 letters. Is it the war? No. This is the answer to that. I can't. I it? Oh. No. This is the answer to that. I can't. I can't even Google it. That was very impressive.

85 letters, the longest place name. Is it still the one in England, or is it Wales? They kind of fight between the two. Oh, yeah, it is in Aotearoa. Yeah. Yeah, there is. It's in Porangahu. Yeah.

So we always remember we were battling over the steepest street too with someone in Europe. It's Wales, yeah. Yeah. Was that Wales as well? Yeah. Alright, so we're battling for Wales for the longest place name as well. And the steepest street too. Hey, with our

landmarks, no one come and try and take our crown. That's all we've got down here. No one cares about us apart from the steepest street and the longest place. You did really well, too, because if I started spelling the name, there's no way I could have read it out within 10 seconds. So great question. I couldn't get that Googled in 10 seconds, so you're going to want some help, Eatsa. Perfect. Sounds good.

No worries. Have a great day. And that's how the Google Games works. It's as easy as that. I want to put Juliet under pressure here for the Google Games. What is Michelle Obama's mother's name? Full name.

Full name of grandma. Marion Shields Robinson. It was Robinson who made a name. Yeah, there you go. Michelle Robinson Okay Well there we go

We're learning something as well Okay I've got another thing that I can Google Ben Boyce you need to answer this one You've got 10 seconds Okay

Were you at my mother's house last night? I'll see what the answer is Was Ben at Giotto's mum's last night. Which he always says he was, but I never believe if he was actually there or not.

It's come up, actually. No. No. You're always claiming that, but I don't know if there's any truth. No. Well, according to the internet, I wasn't. So there you go.

That's good news. Spy. No WhatsApp. Spy.co.nz. Time now to hand over to our radio daughter, who we have no legal obligation to. Does she feature in your will, Ben? No, not currently.

But there's still time, hopefully. Hopefully. There's not much time for us left on Earth, so we better factor you in. But what's happening in SPY? So former Olympic athlete Usain Bolt, he is obviously one of the great people in the world. He has welcomed twin boys.

So he already had a daughter who was called Olympia Lightning Bolt. Great name. But he's welcomed his twin boys, St. Leo Bolt and Thunder Bolt. Oh, those are great names. Great names. Really playing into Ben's punny heart. So good. Like, when you've got that opportunity, you've just got to take it.

But there's a lot of pressure to be fast, though, with a name like that, isn't there? There's a lot. I mean, the good thing is, too, you also, you don't have to ever worry about being cool because your name is doing 50% of the heavy lifting. You know, you've just got to top it up with a few cool things here and there, but you're always going to be cool through life with a name like that. You sit in the corner and not say anything and people are like,

he never says anything. Even that's cool. That is so true. That is so true. You really hope that they take on their father's genes, eh, to be sprinters. I'd love to have a cool name like Champ Hawk or something.

I don't know, what's the coolest name you know? on their father's genes, eh, to be sprinters. I'd love to have a cool name like Champ Hawk or something. Yeah. I don't know. What's the coolest name you know? Didn't your friend try and name his son? He tried to get Danger, but Danger's my middle name. That's so good. He wanted his son to be Danger, officially. But, no, it didn't get through in the discussions,

but probably, again, you know. That is so good. I love that. It's always hard trying to get a comedy name across the line isn't it for a child yeah why don't we call you like debbie diablo or something juliet why that's a cool name that's just a cool name okay debbie yes beatrix blazer or something true and george clooney eva longoria and kerry washington are launching a brand new high school in LA, which is interesting,

but it's specifically for film and TV production, and it's for teenagers in underserved communities to train for jobs in Hollywood. So it's intended to diversify the pipeline of cinematographers, set designers, visual effects artists, and other technical workers in Hollywood, because obviously Hollywood is a huge

film and television industry. I imagine a lot of the Hollywood machine will be who you know, not what you know. Totally, and this is kind of aiming to change all that and so they're going to be offering internships at the end of the course and it's going to be open in a little over a year, which is a really

really good initiative to get more, like so much more diversity into the industry. Ben Boyce is going to open up the Ben Boyce School of Radioing Good, which get more, like, so much more diversity into the industry. Which is great. Ben Boyce is going to open up the Ben Boyce School of Radioing Good, which will be opening soon. If you want to radio good, go to the Ben Boyce School of Radioing Good. With lots of punny classes, I would imagine. Yeah, the same bolts already passed my course,

and that's what, you know. Did it quite quick too, 110 seconds. Oh, you failed your pun. I can't graduate you. And that is Spy. For more, you can head to thehits.co.nz. New Zealand's breakfast. This is Jono and Ben on The Hits. Jono, good morning. Just

gone seven o'clock. You're with Jono and Ben on The Hits, and as you just heard before in the news with Rachel Jackson-Lee, he's very excited about this new announcement this morning. Three times when you feel it kicking in. Lorde is back, and the hits Frontier Touring and Eccles Entertainment thrilled to announce the Global Powerhouse.

Lorde's going to return to stages around New Zealand, Australia, February, March next year. First dates since 2017 sold-out Maladrama Tour, so tickets go on sale 5th of July. Starts in Nelson in February, end of February. Then goes Wellington, Hawke's Bay, New Plymouth, out of fields at Western Springs. All the details at the hits.co.nz.

And right now, we've got a double pass to give away. How do you want to do this, John? Oh, jeez, I wasn't expecting this. Okay. I thought we'd pre-planned something, but anyway. I'd forgotten what we'd pre-planned, but now I'm remembering as I keep talking with these filler words. We're going to open the 60-second talent line.

Okay, this is how it's going to work. If you want the only double pass to Lord's new tour, then you need to keep us on the phone. Whoever's on the phone at the end of 60 seconds will win the tickets to the show. Is that what we're going to do? You're looking at me. That's right.

That's good. People are going to get it cut off abruptly. Okay. Some of them. But just remember, it's for comedic purposes. Okay. Last time you did this, you were very savage to someone who was singing some beautiful 660 song, right?

You were like, no, got to move on. Yeah. Now, you know what you're signing up for, okay? No hurt feelings. That's the first rule of 60 Second Talent Line. No one walks away with hurt feelings. All the hang-ups are purely for comedy, okay? And everyone knows they're going into it.

We know the guidelines. Don't try and make yourself feel better about this. So, oh, 100 the hits is the phone number. We've got 60 seconds on the clock. We're going to do this next. Give us a call and if you're on the end of the phone

by impressing us at the end of the 60 seconds, you'll win that double pass to go see Lorde at a location closest to you. Yeah, give us a call 0800THEHITS

telephone number. We'll do that. After this, it is The Hits. It is The Hits. Jono and Ben, as we mentioned before, Lorde,

we're very excited about this though. Lorde's going to be doing some concerts, Jono and Ben. As we mentioned before, Lorde, we're very excited about this. Lorde's going to be doing some concerts around New Zealand and Australia early next year, February, March next year. All the details are at the Hits.co.nz. Nelson, Wellington, Hawke's Bay, New Plymouth, Auckland. And we've got a double pass right now at the giveaway. You name a part of New Zealand, Lorde is going to it. As long as it's the parts of New Zealand that Ben just named.

She's going there on her solar power tour. That's really cool. Nelson, Hawke's Bay, New Plymouth, that's awesome. Very good. She's big on solar power too at the moment, I hear. Well, that's a song, yeah. Maybe the opening act will be a sales rep for Meridian signing everyone up to a solar campaign for 10 years.

But, Lorde, very exciting. There's times like these that you go, thank God for the pandemic. You know? Times like these. Otherwise, she would probably not be touring New Zealand during regional dates. Yeah, you're probably lucky. She'd be at Wembley. We are lucky in that regard, aren't we? Madison Square

Garden. I see what you're saying. The Staples Centre. Yeah, well, yeah, awesome. Yeah, so if you want to go see Lord right now, we've got a double pass, the first double pass to give away to Lorde's tour, Soul of Power tour. And you've just got to give us a call, 0800 the hits. We're going to put 60 seconds on the clock.

The person at the end on the phone when the 60 seconds runs out wins. But you want people to impress us with some sort of... Yeah, you just keep us on the phone for as long as you can until you're abruptly cut off. Now, the first rule of this game is no hurt feelings. Okay, the second rule is take your shoes off at the door. Well, you, because last time you were very savage

and I couldn't, you know, you tried to be like Simon Cowell and then you got regret and guilt later. You're like, oh, I felt a bit mad about cutting off that lady who had a lovely voice. So, anyway. I tried to be like, so you're right. You did. Simon Cowell must be sitting

with some horrible feelings after a show of X Factor. He would be. Wouldn't he? He'd be in this dressing room like, oh. Really? He was only six years old.

I made him cry on international television. I know. So Jono's going to be playing that role. Only for comedic purposes, not because he's... Oh, well sometimes comedy's

got its victims, you know. And it's going to happen right now. Just be nice to people. Let them stay on. We'll start with Demi. victims, you know. And it's going to happen right now. Just be nice to people. Let them stay on. We'll start with Demi. Welcome, Demi. Hi.

The timer starts now. Goodbye, Demi. Goodbye. Hang up on her. Hang up on her. Juliet, hang up on her. You can't let Dem do anything. Give callers back.

Let's go to Betty. Betty from Danny Burke. Welcome. Welcome. What do you want to say? Well, I love Danny Burke for a start. And I don't care. Next caller.

Next caller. This is a horrible game. This is a horrible game. Sandy, what are you going to do to impress us? Your favourite place, Botany Town Centre, had their 20th birthday. Oh, boring. Hang up on her. It's not boring at all.

Let's go to Cheryl and Topo. Hi. Get rid of her. She just said hi. Next caller. This is horrible. We'll go to Kelly in New Plymouth and press us if you're on the phone. It's the end of 60 seconds. You win Lord tickets.

She's gone. We'll take one more caller. Shall we go to Delaney? Welcome. 60-second Lord Talent Line. What have you got? So he didn't hear any talents. Delaney doesn't even know that they're on...

Delaney? Yeah, man. Yeah, I know. Oh, you know? She just didn't do... Yeah, mate. Was that a tactic? It was a tactic. Yeah, I know. Oh, you know. She just didn't do too. Was that a tactic? It was a tactic.

Oh, well played. Well played. By saying nothing, you win a double pass to the Lord. Yeah. Yeah. That was very smart because Delaney was like, as soon as you open your mouth, he's cut you off. And she's like, I get the algorithm of this game.

Oh, that was so good. Well, congratulations, Delaney. Whereabouts as soon as you open your mouth, he's cut you off. And she's like, I get the algorithm of this game. Oh, that was so good. Well, congratulations, Delaney. Whereabouts in New Zealand are you? New Plymouth. Oh, New Plymouth. Well, Lord, it's going to New Plymouth. So very exciting. You can get double pass at New Plymouth next year.

Beautiful. Hey, thank you very much, Delaney. Now I feel just terrible about everything I've done over the last 60 seconds. Oh, you should. A lot of regret setting in now. You should. And if you want to go and see Lord, headsAtTheHits.co.nz,

we've got all the tour dates up there. We apologise in advance. Sorry about that. Sorry about that. I'm sorry to rope you into this. Sorry you've been dragged into this. Shono and Pam, breakfast on the hits. The hits.

The hits. Yeah, something that you gave me grief about yesterday. My daughter Sienna was in here and doing something. And, you know, we're close to work, and it's a bit of a novelty for her to be in by work. And, you know, there's a few cafes around, one on the street. And she was like, can I get a hot chocolate?

And I was like, yeah, sure you can get a hot chocolate. Take my card. And while you're there, could you get me a coffee? And then you were like, you questioned. And she walked out. I was like, that's just an unusual request to give a child. Go pick me up a coffee. Well, no, she was going to get a hot chocolate.

I said, get a coffee. The coffee is for me. And she didn't have to cross any roads. She was right next to work. She had a phone. She was, you know. But you were like, no, that's bad parenting. Yeah.

I was like, well, for just some reason, like a full-fat milk latte, it doesn't sit well with me. And so when Xen senior came back in i wanted to know how the transaction went in this crowded cafe so basically i went up to the counter thing and i'm like could i please have a hot chocolate and a flat white and she kind of looked at me like um were there any can i ask with any other children in the cafe at the time no and everyone was staring at me yeah and she kind of looked at me and she was like are you sure you want that and she was like nine dollars and i'm like okay and she was like um is that for you or um I'm like, no, it's for my dad.

The hot chocolate was for you though, right? Yeah. And what about the cigarettes that you also got? Well, anyway, so you know you're looking very alert. You're looking productive. She hasn't had any coffee. No coffee. You already had one today, right?

I'm just saying. I'm joking. I'm joking. So there you go. That's how it is. And there's no age restriction On coffee Is there Yeah but she didn't drink the coffee

Maybe we should get kids Into coffee You know They slump it around 2pm I'm sure the teachers Would like a bit more pep On their step Wouldn't they

Late afternoon Do you remember that time When you were Did your dad smoke When you were growing up I had actually a pipe Momentarily For a little bit

Oh he got into the pipe Very sophisticated In pipe and leather we got into the pipe very sophisticated in pipe and leather bound books yeah the pipe game what do you make you go get the pipe cleaners they will you can make little cool bendy figures oh yeah like a safe stick man and stuff like that yeah that's what i remember about that were they still soaked in tobacco as you're making no no these were like the ones not yeah would he send you down to the dairy to pick up his uh no no no yeah my dad had a relationship with the dairy to pick up his tobacco? No, no. Yeah. My dad had a relationship with the dairy owner.

They had some sort of arrangement where I would get sent down as a seven-year-old to pick up packets of Benson and Hedges. And the dairy owner irresponsibly just handed me cigarettes. It was a different time, right? It was a different time. He's like, you want a lighter with that as well? You're like, I'll wait till I get home to smoke them. And did you?

Yeah, I did. There was a lot of responsibility placed on children back then to go and pick up cigarettes and, you know, wait patiently in cars outside pubs. Oh, no. Yeah. Five words for 5K on the hits. You're only five words away from a massive payday.

It is our game of word association. We play it every day at 7.45. We tell you five words, you tell us what pops into your head, and if your words match with ours, you win five grand. Listen, it's the part of the show everyone comes for, including us. If I could go home at 7.47 after this was done, I would, because it's the most exciting time of the show. And Imogen, you're on it this morning from Christchurch.

Welcome. Good morning, guys. How are you? Lovely to have you on, Emi. What do you do for a job? I actually am a dairy farmer. Oh, nice. Okay.

Up at what? 3.30? Oh, yeah. About there. Yep. Yep. You milk morning and afternoon, don't you? Yes.

Yes. 800. Hey, well, that's a lot. The machines do a lot of it now. You just attach the cups to the thing, don't you? Yep, correct. Correct. Automatic cup removers.

Yeah, we... Should I talk down our job, are you? Do you want to? Is that what you do? Well, I mean, we don't do anything. We don't even play records now. No, that's true. We just sit here.

A computer does all our heavy lifting. Yeah. But, yeah, we went to a dairy farm once. Had a wonderful time. Ben was squirting milk into my face. Straight from the source. It was unusual. All right, well, enough about our shenanigans.

Imogen, who are you going to pick to go in the soundproof booth? Jono, Ben, or producer Juliette? I think I'm going to choose Jono, please. Okay, no worries. Now, if I could give you one word of advice, make these five words count. Not as in make every single word the word count. That would be reckless.

But think about them Imogen. Alright Imogen, Jono's made his way to the soundproof booth, or making his way. He is in there now, let's start today's words. First word this morning is paddle. P-A-D-D-L-E paddle. I think I'm going to go boat. Oh boat, oh oh yeah but you have a paddle on a boat i like it

ute is the second word oh um i'm thinking between truck or farmer oh yeah great option yeah um farmer. Oh yeah. Great option. Yeah. Let's go with I don't know. Can I come back to that one? Yeah, we can come back to that one for sure. Sponsor is the third word this morning. These are interesting words. Sponsor. Sponsorship. Ship.

Yeah, sponsorship. That's good. Yeah, nice. Ship. Case is the fourth word. C-A-S-E. Case. Brief. Brief. Ah, very nice.

And field is the fifth word. F-I-E-L-D. Field. Ooh. I'm thinking between grass or trip oh yeah oh yeah of course a field trip grass yeah let's go with trips okay trip you go on a trip and field trip and we're gonna go back to you now any. Any thoughts on that? What did you have? You had truck or you had farm, right? Yeah, so let's go with... Let's go with truck.

Truck. Yeah. All right, I like it, Imogen. We're locking in those five words, boat, truck, ship, brief, and trip. And we're going to see if Jono, Jono's coming out of the soundproof booth.

We'll see if we can match up these words for you right now. Do you know, it's coming out of the soundproof booth. We'll see if we can match up these words for you right now. Do you know, it's dead silent in that soundproof booth. And the only noise I could hear was the milk swirling around in my stomach from the coffee I just had. Disturbing sounds. Imogen, how did you go? Good. It's a tricky words though.

There were some tricky words and some options. I feel so confident we're going to win you cash that you should just give us your bank account details right now. What's the number? Start slowly listing and the password. Let's just go with the words first. I think it's probably the best idea. We'll see if you can match up with Imogen right now.

I'm going to mix things up a little bit. Let's go sponsor. Sponsor was one of the words I said to Imogen. Sponsorship. There we go. Ute. Start giving us those first few digits of your account, Imogen. Ute.

Ute. Ute. Jeez, I don't know. I'm thinking, I've got two. Hilux or like a truck. Ben's moving his eyes around. He's not looking. Look me in the eyes.

I'm going to go. I've never looked at a ceiling before. Imogen's on a farm, so I'm going to go. She would have probably went Hilux. No. Truck was the other one. Oh, I'm so sorry, Imogen. All right, let's go.

Oh, no. Listen, give us your bank account anyway. Paddle was another word. Board. We went boat. Case. Suit. Suitcase.

Briefcase. So there you go. And the final word was field days a trip was what Imogen went for I don't want to say you let the team down Imogen who else let the team down

why did I let the team down Imogen started it, she had five solid words and you came along and didn't quite match up but that's how the game works why is it always the second person leading the team down? No one ever factors in that maybe the first person could have pulled their weight a bit more. It was lots of fun playing the game with you today and hopefully

we get to do it again. Thanks so much guys, have a good day. You keep safe, thank you for listening, appreciate it. If you want to know the real reason why celebrities hate fame well it's segments like the one you're about to hear. Juliet, what's happening in the private lives of the famous? So there's a bit of drama in the Irwin family, the Crocodile Hunter family.

So on Sunday, it was Father's Day in the United States. And one of the people who celebrated was Bindi Irwin. Now, she posted a photo on Instagram celebrating her husband Chandler her late father Steve and then her father-in-law but then someone commented what about your grandfather Bob which is Steve Irwin's father and she basically commented massive paragraph explaining that

her grandfather Bob has really shown no interest in her and her family and she even mentioned that her life has just been sort of filled with psychological abuse from him which is awful. So like he would return gifts that her life has just been sort of filled with psychological abuse from him, which is awful. So like he would return gifts that her family would send him. There've been his financial support and essentially with kind of no thanks from him. Now Bob's immediate family have defended him saying it's all lies and that Bindi's allegations are far from the truth. He's usually one really advocating for, you know, family and supporting people who might need it and everything like that.

And now Bindi has announced she's going on a social media hiatus for a month to take care of her mental health. So it's all a bit, it's all a bit of he said, she said. So Bob, what she claims, Bob's just had no part of her life. Yeah, he just has been not really a great grandfather. Yeah, right. But the thing is, Bob's probably not on social media, so he might not have got this message.

Oh, yeah, true. Do we all keep this from Bob? I don't know. Or do they let Bob know what's going on? I think it would have been passed on to Bob, wouldn't it? It's probably in the papers. She was named after a crocodile, Bindi. Was she?

One of Steve's crocodiles that passed on. I didn't know that. Oh, the crocodile's Bindi, right. Yeah, adorable, isn't it? It's a fitting Yeah. I feel like Bindi I've seen a lot more, you know, people name their dogs Bindi nowadays and I think it is more of a popular name because

of the Irwin family. Now, is her commitment to khaki clothing anywhere near her father's? Not quite. He loved it, eh? It was his look, though. It was. He really kept dickies in business. It was like we were talking about this in the weekend, actually.

If you saw Winston Peters in board shorts and a T-shirt, you probably wouldn't almost recognise him. True. Because you're so used to seeing him in a suit and tie. That is so true. I'm pretty sure he was in the same suit he was in when he lost the election, when he returned on the weekend as well.

Winston would sleep in a suit, I imagine. Yeah, I reckon. Yeah, just in case someone was ready to go. Yeah, just to spring out of action and give a press conference where he says basically nothing. That is very true. But it looks like he's answering very aggressively. And at Universal Studios in Florida,

so there's this ride based on Jurassic Park. I love this story. This is so good. So it was designed or helped designed by the director of the first couple of films, Steven so good. So it was designed or helped designed by the director of the first couple of films, Steven Spielberg. So he had designed the ride.

Yeah. And so it's a ride that's kind of like you'd probably compare it to the log flume at Rainbow's End but on steroids. So it's one of those

drop into water and water splashes all over you basically. And so one would assume that he would have had a go on the ride once he designed it. But no,

he said he's gone up to the point of no return and then he returns down the stairs because he doesn't like going on those sort of 25 metre drop things into water. And the reason for this, and he still hasn't to this day. So he hasn't gone on the ride, the ride that he designed.

He refuses to go on it. But I thought you said he went to the point of no return. But there's still a point he can get off. There's still a point he can return. That's a good point. Because he's returned. Just to confirm, I still can return from the point of no return? But there's still a point he can get off. There's still a point he can return. That's a good point. Because he's returned. Just to confirm, I still can return

for the report of no return? Technically, no, but I'm going to. We're branded at the point of no return. Bit conflicting, bit conflicting. But then he says,

I guess I'm a director. I demand total control and for those two and a half seconds of the drop, I'm out of control and I'm not willing to give that up yet.

So that is his reasoning for not going on the ride he designed. He's willing to let other people feel that fear, but he's refusing to do it himself. It's like old Jobs. He wouldn't let his kids use iPads. Oh, yeah.

The irony in that. I know, I know. You probably just know the dangers in it. And that is Spy. For more, you can head to thehits.co.nz. New Zealand's breakfast. This is Jono and Ben on The Hits. Kia ora, good morning.

Just got on 8 o'clock here with Jono and Ben on the hits. Kia ora, good morning. Just got on 8 o'clock here with Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, something I've been, I've been watching a little bit of NBA basketball recently because it was the playoffs but one thing I noticed is, you know in the sort of breaks in the game they'll play music over the loud speakers and then they'll play, people basically

get shots on camera. You'll film people in the crowd. Now that's every Kiwi's worst nightmare. Oh listen, we hate being pulled out in front of a crowd or even being zeroed in on like a giant stadium television. Yeah, so these people are on the screen at home and in the stadium. But these people in America generally, this is a generalisation, they seem to love it. Oh, everyone over there is a superstar.

We interviewed a homeless guy once in Los Angeles. He was like, we should make a movie about your life. He was so impressive. But yeah, so people up there, there's grandmas like dancing to WAP and all sorts

and they're going hard. And then this one guy on the screen in the game I was watching the other day, he was up there, he was dancing. He ripped his T-shirt

clean off. So he like ripped it and he was swinging it around. Everyone going, but I was like, the logistics of that, I mean, you probably only came with one T-shirt. Like, what do you do after that? You would instantly regret it, and he was swinging it around. Everyone going, crap. But I was like, the logistics of that. I mean, you probably only came with one T-shirt.

What do you do after that? You would instantly regret it, wouldn't you? You got swept up in the show. And he's a showman. Oh, it's so good, too. Won the crowd over. So the guy ripped his T-shirt, and he's swinging it around, and everyone's going crazy.

You're like, what? The only shirt you'll see ripped in New Zealand is Ben's one during a hen's party routine. Swinging around his head. So I was like, wow. They're pretty impressive how they do that. Yeah, whenever a camera's on a New Zealander, we like to sort of approach it with the same desire

like someone being stung in an undercover operation on Fair Go. Head down. Head down. Pretend they're not looking at you. Have we ever done a kiss cam in New Zealand? That would be the most awkward thing I think anything would ever... Yeah, exactly. Coming up Friday, we've got a very special show for you.

A very special treat for everyone, including us as well. I can't wait for this. And we might rip our shirts and swing them around. That's how excited we are. We'll tell you what it is next. It is that. There you go. And that's what's happening.

So get ready to slap your fanny pack on and bleach those frosted tips. Oh, yeah. Grab a Tamagotchi. We're taking it back to where it all started. We need your help, though, to build this show along the way. So 4487 on the text. Have you got any suggestions of things we need to talk about?

You know, shows, TV shows, movies, songs we need to play. Guests. Oh, yeah, guests. Things that were big in the 90s. We talked about some of those things yesterday, right? Do you know what? We were doing a little photo for it yesterday, and Ben Boyce had double denim on.

He was wearing a denim jacket, denim trousers, then said, I'm going to take this one step further, and he employed the illegal triple denim. Triple denim, yeah. What? Too much denim for one body. I put another one with tie-dye underneath. I put on all the 90s

denim shirt, denim jacket, denim pants all the same colour I don't know if it's a sad thing, probably it's a sad thing that these are all clothes that I actually own and wear look up a box full of 90s the only person loving that was Levi Strauss with how much denim he just sold to your body

so next we want to play a little game because the landline was very popular in the 90s. You couldn't actually just wander around, Julie, and talk to your heart's content. Yeah, that's pretty sucky. Unless you had a brick phone. But only real rich people had a brick phone. Only those who did well in the share market or something.

Share market, yeah. The share market crashed in the 80s. But next we're going to call Ben's family landline. Yeah, this is a number that I had growing up in the Wairarapa that I don't even know if it still exists. But we thought we'd give it a call next and see if anyone answers. We're going to head back to Masterton, which ironically is still in the 90s, after this.

We'll be happy to get to the 90s. It's probably still the 80s. It is a hit. It's your guy, John O'Byrne. Friday, we're doing to the 90s, probably still the 80s. There's the hits. You've got Jono and Ben. Friday, we're doing a special 90s show. Oh, yeah. Coming Friday. I'm the king of the world.

Hello. Jono and Ben's That 90s Show. Excellent. Yeah, that's it, man. We're taking it back to where the hits very first started, celebrating that on Friday. And, Ben, the landline, a staple of communication throughout the 90s, wasn't it, the landline?

You had your contact list in your head, Juliet. You just had to remember your friends' numbers. Or a little book that Mum would always lose. Mum would always lose her address book. And it was all great drama because you couldn't call anyone without that address book. A lot of responsibility on that address book. Did she have two copies? No, I don't think so. One. Oh, yeah. A lot of responsibility on that address book. Did she have two copies?

No, I don't think so. One. One? Yeah, I know. She was risking it all for those, you know, the addresses she'd booked up over the years. What if it did go? Oh, yeah, it was panic stations.

Her life was gone. It was panic stations if you lost that address book. That's for sure. And I remember when you knew, if you wanted to talk to your friend, you'd have to politely ask their mum or dad on the other end of the phone. Yes.

Hi, Mrs. Thompson, is Jason there? And someone would pick up on the other phone when you'd have to politely ask their mum or dad on the other end of the phone, Hi Mrs Thompson, is Jason there? And someone would pick up on the other phone when you'd be on it, Oh I'm on it! Or you'd pick up and try to listen to other conversations. Always the mischievous siblings would pick up and listen to conversations of brothers and sisters. I know you're on there! You'd get really grumpy. Or then your dad would be like, I need to use the phone.

He would sort of abruptly come on if you were talking for hours on end. So there we go. I managed to convince my parents to give me a three-way calling. Oh yeah. You know, three-way calling. And I'd use it for nefarious purposes for people who suspected their girlfriends

or boyfriends were cheating on them around the school yard. Then I would phone up as the heartbreak kid they called me. I called myself the heartbreak kid. I'm the heartbreak kid for another reason now, mainly my clogged arteries. I would phone up and then try and lead them into admitting that they were two-timing.

And the other person would be listening on the phone in silence. So you kind of catfished them into... Yeah, I was like, I should have to catch a predator. With less predators. But but then I do the reveal at the end and you gotcha gotcha and then mum would come on I need you the phone mum I'm in the middle of this thing anyway being you've remembered your childhood landline pretty sure that this is the exact number that I had when I was a child so we thought we'd call it in the Wairarapa and just see if there's any messages left for me.

Ringing. Hello? Oh, hello! Hello? Hey, it's Ben calling. How you doing? Good, how are you? Good. Have you got any messages for me? Ben? Yeah, no one's rung up here over the last 20 years to leave messages for me. Ben, Ben, Dave's mate, Ben.

No, don't. Are you Dave's mate? No, I did have a Dave. I had a good friend, Dave. Look, this is a random question. It's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. Oh. This used to be my old number.

Do you live in the Wairarapa region? Yeah. Yeah, well, this was my old number. We wanted to check if it still existed and if anyone had ever rung looking for Ben. Oh, I don't think so. To be honest, there would be no reason for anyone to ring looking for Ben. How's the number been for you?

Treated you well? Yeah. Oh, thank you. We'd like to hang on to it, actually. You can keep it. You're probably doing a far better job with it than I ever did. Has the number done you well over the years? It has. Oh, it has? How many years have you had this number in your family? Oh, golly.

Well, we've been here 20 years, so I guess we've had it that long. I love a rock-solid number that, you know, the landline not getting much use nowadays. No, although we use it quite a bit, and yeah, no, it's pretty good. Do you get nervous, though, when you're answered? Because you don't know who's going to call. It could be a telemarketer, someone annoying from the radio station like us. I mean, there's plenty of annoying people on it, right? Well, that's right.

We don't get much of that, but I'm not very good with voice recognition, so yeah, and we've got much of that, but I'm not very good with voice recognition. So, yeah, and we've got no number display, you know. Yeah, you're going in cold, aren't you? Really, you are. And a lot of people think that you're going to recognise their voice and they just start chatting. And it takes me like half a minute to realise who I'm talking to. Yeah, because you don't want to be rude and go, who is this?

Because they'll be like, it's Deirdre from down the road. Yeah, so I was thinking, who's Ben? Dave's mate. Dave's mate. I did have a good friend, Dave, back in Masterton. I lived in Masterton many years ago, and this was my old number. Okay. Yeah.

What's been your favourite phone call you've ever received on this landline number? Best bit, maybe it was the news of a birth. Maybe someone phoning from the hits. From the radio station. Radio station, John O'Bien. Oh, no, it definitely had to be a birth. Oh, yeah? One of the grandkids. Oh, yeah.

What about when those two guys phoned from the radio? It's just sort of... Oh, that was pretty good, too. Yeah. It was up there. Really made my day, actually. Oh, great. Well, listen, you've

made our day mainly because we've got an end to this bit. We didn't know if anyone was going to A, the phone number would still be active or B, someone would

have it. You're welcome. See you later. Keep looking after that phone number. We'll do our best. Alright, love your work.

There we go. This was awesome. Ben's old number. Who would have thought? She's treating it well. Probably better than

I ever did. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Lorde just announced a big tour. Think three times when you feel it kicking in. Very exciting. You can get all the details at the hits.co.nz.

Lorde's Frontier Touring Eccles Entertainment announced that Lord February and March next year for New Zealand starts in Nelson and goes around the place. Wellington, Hawke's Bay, New Plymouth, Auckland and even Christchurch. It looks like it's been announced as well. And a world tour too.

She's kicking off going overseas. We just looked at her tour dates. God, if I was Lord that would give me anxiety. That is a lot of work, non-stop work as well. And I'm just not used to that amount of work. That would be relentless, you know, day after day, turning up to work. I mean, all we do is sit in a chair and say some words for a couple of hours. She's actually got to do work.

Well, she is. She can just sing and dance. I've got a concert next year, so that's very interesting. She's going to be playing Electric Avenue, which has come through on the New Zealand Herald, which is pretty cool as well, in Christchurch. So it'll be awesome to see Lorde, because it's not since 2017 has Lorde been performing and doing concerts around the place. And thank God too, as soon as she announced the tour this morning, New Zealand

share prices went up. We're in the doldrums here for a while. She wasn't doing stuff. She is the backbone of this economy. We've said it before. We haven't said it to the Prime Minister. We did actually. We're like, notice Grant Robertson, Finance Minister, didn't factor in a Lord to it into his budget. Maybe they can get that cycle lane on the bridge after all. Yeah, we've got a surplus now of 800 mil.

Thanks to Lord's new tour. With bikes powered by solar power. That is very exciting. Next on the show, we're going to talk about school performance. What did you have to do on stage for your school? Yeah. Juliet, you were an extra in a school performance. What did you have to do on stage for your school? Yeah. Juliette, you were an extra in a school production, weren't you? Yeah, I was a rogue because they couldn't find an actual role for me.

Those are my favourite ones. I love seeing the rogues in the school production. This is the Live Free travel edition. Thanks to South Australian Tourism, you've got your chance to win a $5,000 travel voucher each week. Listen out for the cuticle we just played before. And you'll go in the drawing each Friday. Someone will win $5,000.

That's thanks to South Australian Tourism. Treat yourself to South Australia with non-stop flights from Auckland to Adelaide. And we were talking about Adelaide yesterday. They call it the 20-minute city. You can get anywhere in Adelaide in 20 minutes. It seems like a wild claim to make, though. That's cool. Factoring in traffic.

Yeah. Roadworks. Well, true. How can they say everything is within 20 minutes? I guess it's probably generalisation. I like facts when we come to city slogans. We'll get Fiona on from Wellington. The windy city.

They can back up those claims. Yeah, that's right. How windy is it this morning, Fiona? It's a bit miserable, but the rain stopped, so that's good. Just like this radio show, a little bit miserable. Yeah. Well done. We're going to put you in the draw,

thanks to South Australia Tourism, for this $5,000 worth of travel. Oh, that would be very nice. Yeah. Who would you take with you on holiday? Well, the family, yeah. We had a trip booked to the States that had to get cancelled for COVID, so we're all a bit better.

What happens there? Do you get that in credit, Fiona, or what? We did. Unfortunately, the travel agent took a cut of the refund so yeah we were a bit gutted. Oh listen I've made this awkward.

Brought up a dark moment in your life. Bring it on to a positive one. You're in the draw for $5,000. I said it was a miserable show. It is. You made it more miserable. We're excited to be in the draw. Good luck. That's happening on Friday. You could be winning $5,000. Fingers crossed.

Good on you, Fiona. Thank you for listening. Appreciate it. Thank you. It is the hits. Jono and Ben in the most miserable show around. Oh, yeah. Coming Friday.

I'm the king of the world. You have me at the level. Hello. Jono and Ben's That 90s Show. Excellent. Taking it back to when the hits first started, the early 90s, and it's going to be a lot of fun, a lot of 90s music, a lot of 90s reflections.

We've just got a guest, a big guest. Oh, just got an email back from steveparr at gmail.com. Now, you might remember. I don't know if that's his actual email. If it is, I deeply regret handing that out on this public platform. But do you remember Steve Parr from this show? On Sale of the Century. And now, he is the star of the show.

Steve Parr. Wasn't there two of them? Wasn't Jude Dobson on there as well? Yeah, there's Jude Dobson. Why was he the star of the show? Yeah. I feel like they introduced us. Now, he's the star of the show.

Ben Boyce. And the bald guy. Yeah, yeah. Filling in some time. So, Steve Parr on He's the star of the show, Ben Boyce And the bald guy Filling in some time So Steve Park, I was telling you, was the biggest show I read online, it was like the chase of the time Wasn't it? And he'd come on, he'd run on in and he'd slide in He's going to join us on Friday for the show

And he's in Australia now Doing what? We'll find out Friday But I remember his slide went a little too far one time, didn't he? He karked it when he came sliding out on stage. Maybe that was Elvin, who wasn't the star of the show, tried to off him or something. That is our show. Have a great day, New Zealand.

We'll catch you tomorrow. We'll see you then. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from sex on The Hits and via the iHeartRadio app. Jono and Ben on The Hits Breakfast. Friends of Skinny.