Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: One Of Our Listeners Stopped A Jewellery Heist!

Episode Date: June 15, 2021

On today's show, we spoke to Millennial Max about how he LEGITIMATELY slipped on a banana peel on a footpath. Who knew this actually happened in real life? So we asked you guys whether anything had ever happened to you that could've been in a movie. Tavita phoned through and told the story about how he stopped a jewellery heist! We also caught up with journalist Paddy Gower about his new documentary Paddy Gower on P, where he explores NZ's "P" problem. Finally, Amanda bought Ben a genius & very useful item that he doesn't seem to be using, but he really should be!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings, friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast, 15th of June, 2021. I'm Jono. And I'm Ben, and welcome to the podcast, which Jono just said, and I'm just doubly welcome to the podcast. You played some audio yesterday of an opening from a NBA podcast that you listen to a bit more energy, but more high energy, so I'd like to be a doer. Oh, guess who it is? It doesn't work in New Zealand. It doesn't work. We do

pull out of the role play. It doesn't work. No, it doesn't work. I said yesterday that it was like Americans can do that so well and we're not good at it. It's the podcast. Yeah. And that's the intro. That's the podcast. Well, they can afford sound effects. Yeah, true.

You just made those with your mouth. Did it sound good? In my head, that sounded bad. It's not bad. Yeah, not bad Maybe he can be hired out for DJ functions Or if there's a reboot of Police Academy I could be the

Michael Winslow He was good at sound effects, wasn't he? He was really good And once you watched the Police Academy movies You thought you could be able to Do sound effects and stuff But you were pretty good at that So why don't you? We met a lady Phoned us through the radio show movies you thought you could be able to do sound effects and stuff and you couldn't no you couldn't but you're pretty good at that so why don't you we met a lady uh phoned us through the radio show

we milked her a couple of times who does the uh car alarm oh she chopped her throat good hey they need to bring back new zealand's got talent just for her what okay you you do a set i'm gonna play a game with you. You do a sound effect and I'll try and figure out what the sound effect is. Oh, jeez. With your mouth. Do I have any?

I don't know if I do. Okay. All right. Close your eyes. That sounds like that. What's that stuff people pay to listen to? What do they call it? ODSM or something?

OPSM? That's an apple being eaten. Yes. Did you make that noise? Why? Is he an apple? Why did I have an apple next to me? Now you've got juicy apple lips.

You've got very juicy lips there, Ben. I was trying to make you shut your eyes. Yeah. Here's another one, shut your eyes. Go again. Oh, is that Like a whiteboard marker Yeah Is it

Yeah but I can make that Convincingly with A whiteboard marker In my hand Opening it This is a fun game I think we should You know

It's like sounds But you don't tell anyone What they are And you keep them secretive Oh yeah I'm afraid I've never Done that before Okay try

See if you shut your eyes Okay see if you can get this Oh yeah Are you tapping A pen on the microphone I'm afraid he hasn't ever done that before. Okay, see if you shut your eyes, okay? See if you can get this. Oh, yeah. Are you tapping a pen on the microphone stand? Close. Oh. Is there something being tapped on the microphone?

You got one half of it right. It's just what it's being tapped on. On the microphone? No. No, what is it? It's a mug. Oh, okay on oh on the microphone no no what is it it's a mug oh okay well there you go okay here's another one because you can you know you're in the room and you know roughly kind of what what stuff could be there okay i'll try this shut your eyes this will be this will be a really good one okay okay no it sounds a bit weird. Are you trying to make that noise with your underarms,

with your hand under your arm? No, not quite pulling it off? No. That was the lid to Producer Juliet's Lucas Porpoise. Oh, was it? Yeah, there you go. Well, that's you scratching a newspaper because you didn't tell me to shut my eyes.

Oh, yeah, sorry. So I could see it all. I like that game. That was fun. That's you shaking a newspaper because you didn't tell me to shut my eyes. Oh, yeah, sorry. So I could see it all. I like that game. That was fun. That's you shaking your water bottle. That's you shutting your laptop. We're done. Oh, that was fun.

A really interesting show this morning on the program is being scratched in your wallpaper. Petty Gower, award-winning journalist, Petty Gower. There you go. He's got a he's got a new documentary which kicks off tonight actually on 3 Paddy Gower on Pete

in New Zealand's rampant meth epidemic and I can't believe I'm trying to sensibly talk through this as Ben makes sound effects but Paddy Gower's on this show today

it's like stomp it is you guys have a wonderful podcast and we'll have a wonderful day and have a good one now we want to know on 0800 that hits 4487 has anything happened to you in your life your day-to-day life that could have been on a tv show or a movie yeah like yeah something happened you're like that's like a scene straight out of something that you know i've seen

on tv or in a movie uh millennial max something an incident yesterday. You explain further. I was running late for work, which is a common occurrence for me. And I was Ubering to work and there was an Uber parked outside my apartment building. And I walked out the side gate of my apartment building and was walking quite swiftly. A couple of things in my hands. And didn't see what was in front of me, and slipped on said thing, a banana peel, and went A over T. So he, a slapstick comedy, slipped on a banana peel. Now, we've done some shoddy slapstick over the years.

We can only dream of a banana peel slip. We ignored this because we're like, this never happens. You see it on a comedy TV show or movie, but this happened to you in real life. This happened to me. IRL, as the kids would say. IRL ended up with banana, mushed banana all up my jean pants. Listen, I only thought someone like Adam Sandler could pull this off in one of his movies, but this happened in real life.

I thought they had too much traction. I think we've even physically tried it before. I thought, no, it doesn't work. No, it doesn't work. It doesn't work. Impossible. The logistics are all wrong. But you, no, you did it.

I really, and I went for it. And it really goes for it. You really go. Wow. Was it wet? Was the ground wet as well? Yes. Yeah.

So it's slipperier than an internet scammer in a pool of Vaseline. Because it was a shocking day yesterday, and I had a moment, because you were talking about this, and I was like, well, that never happens. And I had a moment that happened to me, and I was like, I've seen this happen in TV ads and movies, but I never thought it would happen in real life. Like, it was coming out of the mall yesterday, shocking weather, and a car drove past just as I was standing on the footpath,

and, you know, when they drive past, there's a big puddle of water and it went all over me and i was like that's never happened before i thought that it only happened when someone's waiting at a bus stop in an ad or something like that but it happened i just drenched but then you mean to turn around and you meant to see uh the love of your life who helps you out at a rom-com and you have a meet cute moment that's what they call them that did happen so just some awkward conversations to happen with my family after the show because i don't know about this i'm now in At a rom-com or something. And you have a meet-cute moment. That's what they call them. That did happen. I've had some awkward conversations that happened with my family after the show. Because I don't know about this.

I'm now in love with the lady who changed my clothes. At a bus stop. So this is what we want. We want stuff that has happened to you, IRL, as the kids say, that could have been in a TV show or movie. Like, have you begun a martial arts course as a complete novice,

but then over a series of a two-and-a-half-minute montage, you've improved in increments, and then forging your way into a tournament to take on the bad guy. And maybe you won that, surprisingly, with a sore leg. Has a money-grubbing property developer threatened to bowl over your rec centre and build a high-grubbing property developer threatened to bowl over your rec centre and build a high-rise apartment and you've saved the rec centre using your dance skills

by entering a dance competition. How many times has that happened to you? Have you been chasing a bird, a large bird, and an anvil fell on your head from above? You know, these are the things we're wanting. It's like we're taking on 30 guys in a fight and they politely, one by one,

came up to you and fought, you know, individually rather than coming at you at a group. Yeah, the henchmen, they're always so polite in that group fight situation.

I don't understand why. It's like, if you all worked together, you could probably outnumber this person. It's just Vin Diesel, I mean, he's tough,

but you can always... Oh no, wait, my turn, you go first. No, you go, oh,

he's good. No, he's good. You know, I'm number eight. I don't... You know, it's the order.

We set the order. We'll wait one by one. We'll start with Deidre and Tauranga. Morena, how are you? Morena, guys, I'm well. And you? Oh, Deidre, we are a box of fluffies today.

What's happened to you out of a TV or movie? About 30 years ago on my OE, I arrived in London after like a 27-hour flight, and the people that were picking me up were managing a hotel in Kings Cross, and it was Kiwis and Aussies and South Africans, backpackers that stayed there. So I knew the address by heart,

because back in the day, you know, no internet or anything. And when I got there, because my flight had been delayed, no one was there to pick me up, which I sort of expected, because I'd sent a telegram giving them the new time. Telegram? Yeah, yeah. So I get, I arrive at the airport and there's no one there and I wasn't too worried.

So I go to look up the phone number and there's no such place or hotel in the phone book. Uh-oh. So alarm bells go. And then I phone directory and they said there's no such place and no such address and i'm going but i've seen these people for two years of course they're there no no such place and it turned out because it was an airbnb or a b&b and with english squatting laws they didn't want english people in there because you couldn't get rid of them so it was an unlisted phone number and it was just a public pay phone down in the lounge area.

So I'm 27 hours, no sleep, too many bags like you have, and thinking I'm in the beginning of a horror movie. This place I'm going doesn't exist. And what did you do? Finally, the 7 o'clock mail arrived with my telegram and they came to pick me up about 9 o'clock. I mean, it really could have been solved in an instant if email was a thing back then. Or a text or something. Yeah, well, thank God for that telegram arriving. How did the telegram arrive? After you anyway. Thank you very much, Deidre. That's awesome.

We'll go to Tevita. You're on from Auckland. What's happened to you out of a movie or TV show, Tevita? Morena. Morena. Just like the movie, started like any other day. Went to get coffee at the mall. This is near Lynn in Auckland. And the coffee shop is across from a jewellery store. And this is where I normally get a coffee.

And I look over to the jewellery store, and there was no one in a jewellery store. Yeah. And this is where I normally get a coffee in. And I look over to the jewellery store, and there was no one in the jewellery store except for this one guy standing in there. And then I look again, and he's behind the counter ransacking the whole shop. No way! Ransacking the whole shop. And I'm standing there looking,

and he was doing it very, like, just subtly. He wasn't, like, you know, crazy going at it. And he comes out of the shop. He was walking towards the exit. So I was looking for my coffee. So I didn't get the coffee. I went straight to the information desk, which was behind the coffee shop. Yeah.

And that jewellery just got robbed by that guy over there, and he was walking towards the exit. The lady jumped on the radio and starts radioing all the security guards at the mall, or the mall cops. I followed the guy out, and I was about 10 metres away from him, and I was waiting for him to get out, and I was just watching, just surveillance or whatever.

And then he jumped into a car that he'd obviously stolen, and he had left the bag on the passenger side of the car. What I did, I just ran up to the passenger side and grabbed the bag and took off. Oh, you got the jewels. I got the jewels. You did this wild little jeweler thing. Wow. Ran to the police station, which was just around the corner from where i work um and i ended up being interviewed

by the cops for the next two hours oh they thought you had done the robbery and then got the guilt all of a sudden you know this happened about five years ago so what a hero jeez that is where the hero comes i would never know what i'd do in that situation. And I don't think I'd do it. Yeah, the instinct just kicked in. And, you know, when I think about it now, I'm like, well, I would have done this, I would have done that. But at the time, I just... You followed the person out and grabbed the jewellery from a car.

That's an incredible story, Davina. Thank you so much for sharing. Yeah, the boss wasn't too happy because I was away from work for the next three hours. He's like, you just went to get a coffee and three hours later. Hey, thank you very much for your calls. Really appreciate it. Two dads just trying

to fill some airtime. Some might say it's pointless, but the main thing is it fills in some airtime for us. That is the main thing. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits.

Tonight on 3 at 8.30, Paddy Gower's got a new documentary out. It looks really, really fascinating. It's called Paddy Gower on P and he joins us in the studio right now. Paddy Gower, great to see you. It is really, really fascinating. It's called Paddy Gow on P and he joins us in the studio right now.

Paddy Gow, great to see you. It is actually so good to see you guys. I think the last time that I was on here you were pranking me while I was in

managed isolation. That's right. I was just like, if I could get out of here, I nearly did the old Rapunzel thing to come up here, you know,

I would have come running in here with a mask on. That's right, we had Jack Tamers on the phone with a mask on. That's right, we had Jack Tamers on the phone. That's right. That's right, that's right. Don't worry, don't forget. Jono has an issue with any eye-related story. Oh, right.

I'm not good with eyes. He's not good. It's one of his things, he doesn't like hearing about any eye-related story. Now, I was reading an article on Canvas over the weekend with what you've gone through, Patagal, with your eyes. Yeah, I was reading an article on Canvas over the weekend with what you've gone through, Patagal, with your eyes. Yeah. I mean, my retina in my left eye has detached twice this year. Detached?

Oh, dear God. Dear God. Please stop talking about that. Sorry, Jono, but you know. I like seeing you squirm after all the pranks down the years. You were in an Uber. This was the start of the year, wasn't it? Yeah, the start of the year, and your eyesight just goes. And the retina is actually the part that attaches your eye to the brain.

And, you know, these guys did an emergency operation on me. I've had two emergency operations this year. The first one, they put one stitch in my eye. I thought, how do you put a stitch in someone's eye? And then the second one, I woke up and I said, did you guys put any stitches in this time? And the guy said, I put in four. Four?

With a needle? Yeah. Daddy, daddy. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. How are things though? Yeah, I mean, it really, you know, things are good now. I've been given the all clear. It's all healed up and everything.

But people may have heard, you know, I had some physical health struggle, but that quickly morphed into, you know mental health struggle you know recovering from something like that you know a big operation up by your brain two big operations really sort of knocked me around and there was a lot of fear around um losing my sight altogether which was a which was a really big possibility both times you know the documentary is unfinished I've had to really sort of pick myself up to get that done and then to get back out here and talk to you guys and do that sort of thing.

But, you know, the truth is I'm feeling absolutely great. You know, I'm with my friends right now. I can tell that you guys care. And you're probably not going to prank me for a little while. No, no. Cancel the prank, guys. Cancel the prank. It's a bad one.

Not now, not now, not now, not now. And so you were just saying just before we started talking, it's been quite an effort for you to sort of come here today and do rounds of pranks. Yeah, yeah, no, no, no. And so you were just saying, just before we started talking, it's been quite an effort for you to come here today and do rounds of prints. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you know, I've sort of had to have a ring around in the diary going, that's the day the documentary's coming out. And, you know, I want to promote it because I want people to watch it. Yeah.

And I want people to know what it's about and understand it. And it's been something that I've had to go, right, I've got to get better by that day so that I can get out and do this. I've got to get physically better with my eye. I've got to get physically fitter and I've got to get mentally healthier, you know, rather than being, you know, really sad and not wanting to do stuff and not wanting to see people. That's the problem with this bloody job. Yeah. I can't just go and work in the corner.

You've got to go out there and, yeah. Yeah, this is the corner. But then in saying that, having, you know, struggles with mental health, but then also filming a documentary on the P. Yeah, that's right.. But then in saying that, having struggles with mental health, but then also filming a documentary on the P. Yeah, that's right. That would be really heavy. And we're going to hear more about that next. We've got Paddy Gow with us.

He's back after this. You're on the hits, Jono and Ben, on your Tuesday morning. Now we've got award-winning journalist Paddy Gow with us in the studio. His documentary, 8.30 tonight on 3, it's journalist Paddy Gower with us in the studio his documentary 8.30 tonight on 3 it's called Paddy Gower on P Yeah and I don't use it this time as people listening will know I you know used weed not once but twice in the last

documentary just to be sure just to be sure that I knew what I was talking about. Yeah because once you don't get a full concert. Yeah yeah yeah I just had to kind of go again you know So you haven't got a rampant meth addiction now? No, I don't. I haven't been awake since Christmas.

But it's quite a problem in New Zealand, right? And that's why I did it. That's why I did it, Ben, because when I was making the weed documentary and having a lot of fun, because yes, weed's got a harmful side, but it's also got a fun side and it's got a helpful side. Everybody knows that, you know.

And while I was doing that and having all this fun, everywhere I went, people would say to me the same thing. It's easier to get pee in this town than it is to get weed. That's the real problem. Why aren't you doing a documentary on that? And I'd go to Ruatoria and they'd say that to me. I'd go to

Gore and they'd say that to me. I'd stop off for a coffee in Waipukurau and they'd say that to me there. And then I was just like, yeah, look, we've got to do something about this. And that's what led me out into the world of pee. You hear the word epidemic. Is it an epidemic? Yeah, man. I mean, there's 139,000 users potentially. So that's the population of Tauranga, right?

And if you take, you know, being a user of pee is not like having a puff of weed at a party or out on the balcony and going in and cracking a few jokes. It is just incredibly addictive and it destroys your lives. And I think it's behind many other epidemics in this country. I bet you it's in behind a lot of suicides. I bet you it is in,

I don't even bet you, I know it is in behind a whole lot of kids being taken by Oranga Tamariki. We know that it's behind a lot of crime. It will be behind a lot of car being taken by Oranga Tamariki. We know that it's behind a lot of crime. It will be behind a lot of car accidents, fatal car accidents, people driving crazy. And I actually think it's worse than an epidemic. I just think it's way worse than that.

It's causing so many problems in this country. Now, it's quite timely, this documentary, following the bust last week by the FBI, which was just something, a plot line out of a movie or something, creating that app. What do you think something like that would have done to the distribution of pee in New Zealand? I think it would have barely slowed it. Really?

Yeah, and people will see tonight. You know, there is that much organised crime in New Zealand now, and people will watch tonight. The Mexican cartels, the Sinaloa cartel, El Chapo, people would have heard of him. We actually do a Skype call to the Sinaloa cartel, El Chapo, people would have heard of him. We actually do a Skype call to the Sinaloa cartel. Guy gets on the other end of the Skype, bing bong bing.

Here's a guy in Mexico. Hi, I'm Paddy Gow, a journalist from New Zealand. Oh yeah, yeah, we send meth out there. People will see him packing a whole lot of meth. On Skype? Brazen as as on Skype. Oh, really?

It's like he's running a warehouse full of frying pans. Wow. Yeah, it's just like, hey, this is what we're doing and this is how much it costs here and this is what it costs once we get it to America and this is what it costs once we get it to Aotearoa in New Zealand. And that's why we send it there because we get a really good price. And that's what we're up against.

We're up against a world of organised crime where, yeah, we saw last week they're using all these phones and apps and everything, but also there's just so many of them and they're so brazen that they're willing to do a Skype call with old Patty G. Wow. How did you, what did you just like sort of email

Cinnabon cartel at Gmail? How do you get in touch with these people? Well, there's Mexican journalists are working, you know, the cartels are so big over there. Mexican journalists are actually in and working with them. So we use the Mexican journalist as an intermediary. We were originally keen to go there, but because of COVID, of course, we couldn't. They're so big.

They're like, you know, the rugby union is here. They've got a PR machine. No, they've got a PR machine and they've got rugby journos, you know. Jeez. Yeah, but instead you've got meth journos or cartel journos. And they're just not afraid of the law, they're not afraid of getting caught. They're definitely not afraid of the Kiwi law.

People will see them tonight on Skype talking to me, and that's insane. But that's what we're up against. So when you see that big bust like last week, yes, you know, it's definitely going to take out Atia, but there's going to be more coming along. And when people see the money that you can make, if you get in on one of these successful importations, you're talking about hundreds of thousands of dollars to a million dollars for a bit roll. We've got a guy, he was involved in the 501 kgs that was busted up on 90 mile beach, you know, they sort of

stuffed it up. And we've gone and interviewed him in jail. And people will see Stevie tonight in the documentary. I'd never done an interview in jail before. People can make up their own mind about whether he's the biggest criminal that ever walked the earth or whether he is just a guy that saw a chance to make a million bucks and got in on one of the worst drug operations ever seen. That's what's there is that temptation of that money is always going to find more people as well. And so I'm not,

I think the police and customs are doing an amazing job, don't get me wrong, but I just think there is so much of the stuff coming in that it is going to take a long time for us to get it in control. Whenever you see them,

they sort of, you know, they neatly display all the cash and their bustings, the customs and police, but then you're like, well, if you're getting that, how much other stuff is getting through? Yeah, and we went to customs, okay, and did the old border patrol,

you know. Oh, I saw it, it's in the promo. Yeah, yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, and we busted a serious amount coming in in one package. And we'd said to them, hey, you've got us booked in for the morning, do you need us to come back for the afternoon in case we don't find any in the morning? Do we need a reserve day or another reserve day

so that we come back and find some, you know, in case the fish aren't biting, so to speak? Yeah. And they were like, no, no, just come that morning. We'll get some. Wow. And we did. And we got a mother load.

And that was just one package, you know, one package of handbags. And you'll see tonight how much was in there. I mean, it's just heaps. And that's what we're up against. And how do you stop it? How do you curb this problem? Do you talk about that tonight?

Yeah, yeah. And it's been interesting for me because, you know, mental health and addiction is something that we're all learning about. And with mental health, we've got our heads around the fact that, hey, you know, you're not weak if you've got a mental health problem. You know, we used to think that. Addiction's the same. You know, in my life, I've looked at a lot of people with addiction issues and I've kind of, you know, I'm willing to admit that I've thought they are weak.

And that's wrong. You know, addiction is a disease of the brain and it can strike anyone. And it's a really complex kind of thing. And I think if we really want to make a difference with P, we've got to work with the users, getting them off the stuff, stop arresting them, and actually try and get them in and help them, and one by one, get them off

the drug. That is going to be hugely expensive, complicated, it's going to require setting up clinics in every region and all that kind of thing. But it's the only different thing. You know, we've got to keep busting these guys and, you know, putting gangs in jail and everything.

But we've got to work actually with the addicts and we've got to change our attitudes to them in the way that we deal with them. Well, it's so good that you're doing this and you're on TV tonight. I can't wait to watch it. Paddy Gow, we love you heaps, mate. Yeah, I love you guys too,

particularly when you're not pranking me. I do love you. And you are much loved. I mean, I was reading over the weekend, two people have got Paddy Gower tattoos on their face in New Zealand. I mean, that's pretty cool. Is that all? Is that all?

That I read about. That I read about. There might be more, but that's pretty cool. Yeah, two's good. You're on a double digits, mate. No, honestly, you are one of the most genuine people in this industry, Paddy, and that's why the public love you. Who you are on screen is who you are off screen,

and can't wait to see your hard work tonight on telly. Cheers, boys. Ben and Jono call this show Jono and Ben. Breakfast on the Hefts. Now, my wife bought me about a year or two ago. I guess it's kind of like a bib. You're getting a bit tripply? It's a of like a bib. You're getting a bit dribbly? It's a shaving bib.

So what happens to explain is... Genius, those things. Yeah, because often I will trim my beard on my face, right? And I will trim that with some clippers. And I'm not... I can't clean up as well, but sometimes, you know, it's a bit of a mess. The hairs get everywhere.

Yeah, I know what you're saying. Because they're quite tiny little ones to capture, aren't they? And also, do they all go down the drain or not down the drain? Should you be putting, I don't know. You know, there's probably like a dilemma there for the. So it seems like something that really irritates others in the household. Yeah. But it's like, hey, guys, you guys are molting hair everywhere.

Me, I hardly molt any hair my hair's molted so the only hair I can leave around the place is you know wispy little ginger

ones for my bed and then that's I get complained about that so have you pulled hair out of the shower drain lately

yeah you're right they're not long hairs they're just little but anyway so my wife a couple years ago brought me like it's kind of

like an apron that you wear so you attach it around your neck and then it's got two sort of suction cups on it and you know and you can suction cap it to the mirror in the bathroom and it sort of acts like a big giant sort of v like a napkin that was sort of attached and then catches all of the whiskers it actually does work quite well but i forget about it yeah so you know this one you get from like a novelty shop, eh? Where you can get like a penis pen or something as well. Yeah, well, you get one of those. But the thing is, I hang on once and then my phone rang

and as soon as you move away, the things, you're kind of attached to the mirror. What do you do with all the whiskers once you've shaved? Well, then you can kind of tie it up like a little stalk that would deliver a baby to a house and then you could take it outside and then shake it off and put it into the garden door. Taylor Swift's on.

Yeah, but it's quite a good adventure but I never remember about this stupid bloody action. You should! That's so good!

What other part of your body can you shave with your shaving bib? I haven't actually been a veg guy Imagine walking in on that scene.

What are you doing? But half of that act is already weird to walk in on. But then you've got a bib. I like it when you're trying to move to get to the door, but you're still suctioned on crotch cape of some description. How did you end up in A&E? Well, I was still attached to the mirror, shaving myself.

And then someone came in the bathroom. I was like, don't come in. No, no, no, no. Yeah, because you can't escape it. Yeah, I know. I think you stick to not using that bib, my friend. Okay, that's good. Things get in bed.

You got Jono in bed. They're proud of New Zealand. Go New Zealand. If only New Zealand was proud of them. Jono and Ben. New Zealand's breakfast. On the hits. I love it.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. When they're parking. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. When they're parking. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm going to probably overreact, so I don't know why. I don't know why. Nothing kicks off an argument like a whoa, whoa, whoa. She's a far better driver than I am. But for some reason, I all of a sudden like to, you know,

and I'm like, hey, hey, I'm like, hey, my safety's in your hands. I feel a right that I can say something. Does she whoa, whoa, whoa you when you're driving? Not as much. She's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. She's more of a puller. She's like, I've seen it. And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm very nervy at the best of times, as you know.

You'd be shocking. Imagine him as a co-driver in the World Rally Championships. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Tree, tree, tree. Stop, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Tree, tree, tree. Stop, stop, stop, stop. Oh, that would be my worst nightmare. You could not. I don't know who's a red.

Will you be the one to teach your children how to drive or will you leave that to Amanda? Because I'm not sure how you would cope. Oh, imagine him. Yeah, so I was like, you know, maybe there needs to be a rule as a backseat driver where they're allowed to say something or not. Maybe there is a rule. Traditionally, though, the backseat driver is not sitting in a backseat driver where they're allowed to say something or not. Maybe there is a rule.

Traditionally, though, the backseat driver is not sitting in the backseat. More often than not, the people in the backseat are pretty chill. That's the one in the front left. They're the problematic ones. They're the lippy ones, aren't they? I remember my grandparents and their dads and sonny having some heck of arguments in the front about directions around Christchurch and where they're going.

And I was just sitting in the back with my cousins going, oh, this is great. This is great. I just love an elderly couple, just the soundtrack of bickering as they drive past you. Even at the driveway, they're bickering, yeah. It's like the car. As soon as they get in the car, it just kicks off.

The car hasn't even started. And they're like, oh, yeah, I know about that. So we thought this morning, let's set some rules. These are rules when you're in a car, or if you're the passenger or the driver, let's set some rules. So all of us, I mean, many people are driving to work right now with other people in the car that we all know to abide by.

Yeah, well, I'm going to say, this is not pointing in anyone's direction in particular, but it'd be nice if you didn't leave banana peels and apple skins and apple cores in my car. Who's? Me. I said I wasn't pointing at anyone. Well, you looked at me, you read that there.

It would be nice if my car wasn't treated as a mobile waste management bin. I don't do that intentionally, but yes, from time to time, perhaps I'm taking my room. That surprises me. It's sort of jammed in weird little cracks and nooks and crannies. I remember one time I left something haven't taken my room. That surprises me. It's sort of jammed in weird little cracks and nooks and crannies. I remember one time I left something in

the door and as I left I was like oh damn my apple core was in the door. Also it ran through your head. I was going to I'll get that on the

way out and I forgot. I wasn't intentioned to leave it in there like I'm not. Yeah okay no granted that's a good rule.

There's one rule but that's not directed at anyone. No. I would also like to put one out there that it's not okay to use the horn if you're not the driver aggressively and yell out stuff, which you've done before.

What's this guy doing? I'll jump across and toot the horn and then say something. And they look around thinking it's me behind the wheel. Yeah. It's not me. Ben has never used a horn. And when he does it, it's just like that. Just like this gentle nudge.

I like to use it in Ben's car because I refer to it in my head as the awkward siren for Ben. As soon as I sound it, he's just, oh, yeah, he doesn't like to make a scene. You maybe could have saved money on your vehicle by getting the horn removed. Could have saved a few hundred bucks. I like the horn. But just, Juliet, what's a rule you'd like to set?

I want people to be aware to not pick their nose when they're in their car, especially when you're at standstill traffic, because people can look in their rear-vision mirror, they can look to the left or the right on the motorway, and the glass isn't, you know, they're not walls. You can see through. Yeah, that's the thing, but you're not factoring in other motorists as you're uh deep inside your caves are you you feel like that's your safe space you do but it's not right maybe when you're mobile is probably the best time

to do it when you're actually in moving yeah do it when you're moving not at intersections and where does it end up too where's it probably just in the wheel well down the bottom of the mound of crustaceans. All right, so let's set some road rules. The ones that are in the road code, the ones that are in the book. Rules for passengers, rules for drivers. What would you like to set? And then we'll all know from here on in

what we need to do in the car. Well, you've been told to stop backseat driving in your marriage. Actually, one time you were driving and I was the passenger and I didn't raise any points. I didn't say anything and I maybe should have.

We somehow veered off State Highway 1 between Auckland and Hamilton. It's a simple drive. You've got one task. Just stay on State Highway 1. And his son-in-law, he took it right. And we ended up in a part of New Zealand

with the banjos playing The roads had to be finished We had to put a road That was still under development So I don't know how that happened There was no one there I was like Is this how it all ends?

Yeah okay yeah All he had to do was Stay on Stay in And everyone else Was doing a good job of it But for some reason He's like

I might turn off here Halfway between I did Okay I'll put that one down In the unofficial road code. Let's get to the phones. Welcome, Nicole, to New Zealand's Breakfast.

What is your rule you'd like to add to the unofficial road code, Nicole? My rule is if you don't know how to drive, then you can't say anything. Oh, okay. If you don't have a license and you're trying to give me advice on what to do, it's not very valid. Okay, this sounds like a passive dick at someone in your life. Who are we referring to here, Nicole? My mother.

Oh, right. That's probably a fifth. I'm her driver, essentially. Ah, yeah, whenever I drive my dad, I can tell he's like, he's trying to do that thing with his feet where he's pushing the brakes. Nothing works as a passenger. You're like, brake, brake, brake, brake, brake, brake.

He gets very tense when John Pryor does when I'm driving. Let's go to Jane. You're on for Wellington. The unofficial road code. What's your rule, Jane? Oh, if you're going to borrow someone's car, absolutely fill it up when you're done. Oh, yes. That's probably a nice cour car, absolutely fill it up when you're done. Oh, yes.

That's probably a nice courteous thing to do. You're right. Like a Hertz rental or something. Yeah. That's a very good tip. Thank you very much, Jane. We've had a few come through on the text, Benny. If you let someone in traffic, you need to do a finger wave.

Just a raise of the finger. And people who don't, you're like, all you needed to do was lift your finger. Just a little. Acknowledge. I like that one where sometimes they put on the hazard, you know, just a little hazard thing. That's quite nice.

Particularly, too, when you're in a relatively tight street and they've got speed bumps but only one car can get through at a time and the opposite car comes through. You're waiting there politely. You've even given them more leeway than you had. You could have gone first. Yeah. Sometimes people go barrelling through.

Don't even look the finger. Just a little finger. And that instance is probably the four fingers up, isn't it? Just a little. Thank you. And there's plenty more coming through. Don't go to passing lanes and then suddenly go faster. Yeah, like that happens a little bit.

If you're trying to, you know, you suddenly get to a passing lane area and then someone tries to overtake you. Oh, the one that's been holding you up. They go fast. I can see how that's frustrating. Don't put your feet on the dashboard has come through on 4487. I love doing that.

Yeah, that's quite nice. You've got to be comfortable with the person in that environment. Yeah, it's not like an Uber sit show. Take your shoes off and put your feet on the dashboard. Tyrone, you're on from Auckland. What's your unofficial rule for the road code? I'm just asking. I drive a truck and trailer,

and I'm asking that people please don't cut us off. Because we've got this buffer stopping distance in front of us. If you're going to pull in front of us, at least go right to the front of that gap and then come across. Every single car pulls right in front of the truck and then accelerates. That's what I love doing. I love testing your driving ability.

See how this guy thinks he can drive a truck with a LC or pull out at 100 k's an hour. You're right, though. The thing weighs 47 tonnes. Yeah, I'm sorry. Tyrone's a bit serious about this. No, it's a very good point, Tyrone. Yeah, it's a very good point.

Very good. And great work you're doing out on the roads too, Tyrone, keeping yourself and everyone else safe. No, all good. Good on you, mate. Thank you very much there. Another text here, 4487. Don't weirdly sit in the back if there's two of us

in the car. Oh, like if you pick up your friend and it's like, yeah, if you sat in the back, you'd be like,

like a ride share service. We have a friend, Jeremy, who would always do that to me and I think he just liked the awkwardness of it. He's in the back. Paid to talk words

and stuff into a microphone. It's New Zealand's breakfast. Jono and Ben on the hits. Now we have a pre-show meeting every morning. You might be quite surprised at this. Whatever this thing is. I think people are surprised generally that there is a bit of preparation that goes into the show. They're like, really?

Producer Bee Humps, lovely Bee Humps and his lovely manly lumps. You just said something as the mics were turning on we were just talking about where we were going to place certain content throughout the show and we said he's like just put it at the end of the show

it's at the end of the show we've checked out what do we care where are we at the beginning of the show? Todd or anyone else who's listening Todd's our boss I respect the the full show

and we don't button off we do not button off at all we're not thinking about coffee and morning tea by now how are we starting this show because I've already buttoned off now so I don't know when I should put the button on how are you Jill right? I'm good thanks how are you guys?

you good? going alright I'm looking forward to the end of the show where we face things out. Yes. We've got a really interesting show today. Paddy Gow. Do we? Paddy Gow is going to join us from News Hub. He does some wonderful documentaries.

Paddy Gow on. Yeah. In the past, he's done Paddy Gow on Weed, and tonight on Three is Paddy Gow on Pee. And the destruction that the drug's causing to New Zealand and how much of it is coming in from Mexican cartels. Oh, and how brazen they are over there with it. You know, like he says, we'll talk a little bit later about a Zoom call he has with someone in Mexico,

and you're just like, did that happen? Did the person know this was going to be on TV? And it sounds like they did. Oh, they must have signed the release form. Yeah. The old Barry from the cartel, he's like, yep, you get my full disclosure. Wow. They're proud of New Zealand. Woo! Go New Zealand!

If only New Zealand was proud of them. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast. On the hits. We had a, well, we've actually, for the last couple of years, had a bit of an infestation of rats and rodents around the house. And apparently at the moment, wild out there.

Wild season for the rats giving birth. Oh, really? According to the guy from Rent-A-Kill, yeah. He's run off his feet. So we had one the other day on Sunday. Inside the house? No, just on the lawn. Just on the lawn.

And it was a little baby rat. And it was kind of cute. It was kind of cute. But then I could see that, unfortunately, he had nibbled on some of the poison that had been left. Right. So he was in the last moments of his life. And for some reason the disposal

of the rat is placed on me in the household I don't know why I don't know why that job's been lumped on me it was never discussed it was not in the

marital agreement see I'm the opposite at home I'm no good in that situation so a man and my wife is like step back I've got this

in any of those situations you know yeah great or putting up a shelf whatever it is step back I've got this she's just yeah she's situations you know yeah great or putting up a shelf whatever it is step back I've got this she's just yeah she's way

way safer what do you try and put up a shelf and she'd step back or do you do you just step back originally once upon a time I might have

but now it's like it's not even worth having conversation about oh no although I'll put the jug on or something that's not really my thing scones

something happens I'll put the jug on I'll make a cup of tea but I don't want to remove a rat I don't enjoy it you know so I've put the jug on. I'll make a cup of tea. But I don't want to remove a rat. I don't enjoy it, you know. So I've just left it on the lawn for the last couple of days to the point now where it's, you know, I'm hoping that maybe nature will come along,

like a tiny little tornado will come along and pick up the rat. Or a cat, maybe. Yeah, you don't wonder if it's like another circle of life. Isn't that how that works? Well, that's what what i'm hoping for waiting for but i'll see oh it's probably still there it was still there this morning when i left oh really because i check every morning because i don't know what to i don't know how i'm gonna get rid of it i don't want to pick it up with my hands i had that one i think i told you guys about a while ago where it's a rat it was it was sort of the dog was barking outside well what's going on i came outside and there was a

rat in the corner And the rat was hissing It was quite big And jumping towards me Me and the dog And the dog and I Looked at each other And we're like

We're going back inside We did Amanda was like Step back dog Yeah I was like I've done all I can She ended up wrestling the rat For 90 minutes in the backyard

Her and the rat Bare hand Bare knuckle Fighting in the backyard It was very scary As much as Amanda I was like I don't want to deal with this

where do you put a rat once you've got it I don't know that's the thing could you just put it in your normal bin that gets collected is that allowed

they're not collected until Monday it's a long haul a long haul for a decomposing rat anyway Poppy our daughter she's desperate for a pet

oh no look at this thing you'll lose your pet maybe I'll get a taxi dermis here we go just like Poppy, our daughter, she's desperate for a pet. Oh no. Look at this thing. Here's your pet. Maybe I'll get a taxidermist. Here we go. Just like a startled looking poison baby rat. Kia ora.

I'm Rachel Jackson-Lees and this is the B**** News. Uh oh. Is that a smoke alarm I hear? It's time for some hot fire content from Juliet. So I find some quirky headlines from around the world beep out a couple of words and you guys have to figure out what the full headline is. Now these stories are generally they'd be used as the filler content

at the end of news bulletins if they were running under time. They're like McRoberts you've got to do the story about the lady who ate the shoe. But they're just as interesting. And the first story. New Apple iOS 15 update includes new function in case you... I'm going 15 update includes new function in case you... I'm going to go includes a function that if you...

Basically, you can send a picture of Jono and Ben, otherwise known as a dick pic. Automatically. It's a safe, family-friendly dick pic. I'm going to say includes a new function that if you want to move to Microsoft, Apple will kidnap your family. Oh. a new function that if you want to move to Microsoft, Apple will kidnap your family. Oh, new Apple

iOS 15 update includes new function in case you die. So, you can now add and nominate people who can have access to your digital legacy once you die. Digital legacy. So they're called your legacy contacts. Oh, they're so good with their terminology. Oh, I know, it sounds really good

but if not, it's just like, what sites was he looking at? Oh, God. What did he like? I don't want people thinking less of me when I die. Exactly. At least clean up. Could you clean up my digital legacy? I'll clean up your digital legacy.

I'll nominate you to do it. Then you can pass it on to the next year. I wouldn't put it in the legacy category. No. Yeah. But if you think about it, you're like, I personally, I'm like, I could not choose one person

that I would want to have access to all of my phone. Like, I've got my best friends and I've got my family, but, you know, there are some things I don't want them to see. Nominate a stranger who doesn't have any connection to friends of yours. No judgement. Nominate, like, you know, a gang member or something who's like, I don't care, I'm not going to judge you, mate. That's a very, very good idea.

Facebook plans new s*** with two built'm not going to judge you mate. That's a very, very good idea. Facebook plans new with two built-in cameras to launch next year. Facebook, I think it's time they finally do their book on faces. They've been teasing it

for a while so I think it's a new Facebook literally. I was going to say Facebook plans new ways to invade your privacy with two built-in cameras.

Ah yes. Facebook plans new smartwatch with two built-in cameras to launch next year. Facebook plans new smartwatch with two built-in cameras to launch next year. So they're going to be rivaling the old Apple Watch and just another way for them to track our every move. One camera's going to be on the front for video calling if you want to do that

and then another for capturing footage when you're not wearing the watch. So you can take the watch off and use it as a standalone camera as well. That's very smart smart i heard that technology is so far ahead what they have designed and created that they're having to just drip feed it through us that's what i thought or else we would just lose our marbles yeah you know there's probably we could probably hologram ourselves to pluto now if we wanted. Yeah. But that would be too much for us to take on.

Yeah, right. I'm still figuring out how to send a text message from my phone. True, true. Yeah, but apparently they're just drip feeding it through. That would make sense. Yeah. Because then it also gives them more things to work on and slowly release and make money on. Exactly.

Rather than all doing it at one chunk. And the final story, Kiwi Man starts international trend as s*** now pop up in Edinburgh. Oh, I reckon Kiwi Man started the trend maybe saying, yeah, nah, and it's taken off. I mean, I love the way Kiwi say that. Very confusing way to agree to something. Or not agree to something. You're like, yeah, nah.

Leaves people puzzled. I'm going to say Kiwi Man starts international trend as kissing complete strangers on the lips now. It's all good in the UK and Europe. Kiwi Man starts international trend as spray-painted phallic drawings around potholes now pop up in Edinburgh. Oh, we spoke to this guy, didn't we? So it's starting a trend overseas and he's doing it just to make a stand, take a stand, because it's dangerous for cyclists, it's dangerous for

cars, pedestrians and so yeah. Yeah because the guy who was doing it in New Zealand was basically doing it because the council wouldn't do anything about it and so he did put like a spray painted symbol around it. He found that they'd get rid of it a lot quicker Yeah and he was being taken to court

whatever happened to that? We need to follow that story up. We said we will follow this story up. We said, we will follow this story up with you, and then we forgot about it. Now we're remembering again, and we'll probably forget again. And that is the news and beeps for you. Thanks, Jude. Thanks very much, Producer Juliet. They need to talk words and stuff into a microphone.

It's New Zealand's breakfast. Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, sometimes they say never skip leg day Yeah this is a saying that people say I've been skipping leg day for such a long time I use my legs every day Well I want to say there's a good reason to skip leg day now

Because Eddie Hall, now he's the winner of the world's strongest man in 2017 Well he tried to basically on a leg press machine Do a thousand kilos Don't tell me anything bad happened please Please don't tell me the end of the story leg press machine do 1,000 kilos. 1,000 kilos. Don't tell me anything bad happened, please. Please don't tell me the end of the story. So much so he passed out.

Oh, no. And may have had a wee accident as well that he talked about. That was before he passed out. He was pretty chill about that. He was like, oh, I think I just. Well, a lot of pressure on your body. But then he went back and did it again. He's like, oh, I think I just passed out. So he passed out once.

He did it not mid doing it? I don't know why. I couldn't watch the video. I was just like, I had to read the thing. I was like, I don't want to see the guy go for 1,000 kgs. That's a low moment in a human's life, isn't it? Yeah, but he's put it all on the internet. They didn't need to put it all out there,

but they put it all out there. So good on him. Remember we met a strong man, New Zealand's strongest man, and he wedgedied Ben Boyce. Not once but twice he'd been wedgied by this guy. And I don't even think we used it for TV.

It was just... No! I didn't even make the cut for TV. That's the first time he's wedgied me. He's like, I wedgied you twice. Should we do it again?

I'm like, I guess it's our thing now. Ben had to get parts of his underpants surgically removed from inside of him. He was literally lifting them above his shoulders. Was that as sore as I think it would be?

Oh, yeah, yeah. It's like someone like Richie McCall when he won the World Cup trophy. I was like the trophy. Being lifted up just by underpants, though. Simba. Yeah, like Simba from The Lion King. But then he would jolt you up and down to make sure the underpants would rip off. I was like, there we go.

Okay. And they're only going one way. Gravity comes into play there. Yeah, next on the show. We should put that on the internet. Well, yeah. We should actually. You're like, I got wedgied for good reason.

You're right. No one's seen it. Yeah. Next. Scrolling through your feed. All right, time for my favourite part of the show, because out of default, out of the two of us, he's the most trustworthy news source.

So that makes him fully equipped to present the news from overnight. He's scrolling through your feed. So I just mentioned before there was a plant on Trade Me in New Zealand, sparked a bit of a bidding war. Now, it's a rare plant, but still it's just a house plant, and it went for $27,000. What sort of plant was it? Oh, the

Raffidophia terstraperma. I regret getting you to do that. I know, I'm trying to get that go correctly. Apologies. It's a shocking effort. It's very hard to, it's very, we all have a look at it. Oh, cool. I will never be able to know this.

I'll have to eat my humble pie now. Oh, the Rafferdorfer Testra Perma. It's a classic for palmers. Love it. So your plants, they're not fetching as much as $20,000, are they, the ones you're growing? Oh, here we go. How much are they going for, market rate? Here we go.

You don't put them on trade me for some reason. He's like, I need to avoid the eyes of, I don't know why he gets all funny about it, doesn't he, Joe? Yeah, it's a little bit strange. He gets all antsy when I bring it up on radio too. Oh, yeah, okay. And cigarettes. Now, in the UK, obviously they're the same as here.

They have, on the cigarette packaging, they have warnings, health warnings. Oh, disgusting pictures of rotting limbs and people with missing fingers. It's like, I know many smokers and no one's wandering around like they're from The Walking Dead or anything. Well, they do. They have that in the UK. They have it in New Zealand. But now there's a bill going to be taken to Parliament today in the UK that may go one step further. And they're going to have warnings on individual cigarettes is what the bill

is coming out for. So this hasn't been passed yet but I'll include messages if it does get passed like smoking kills and you don't need me anymore. Things like that on each individual cigarette. Who has to draw those on the cigarette? That seems like a tedious job. Printing that on the thing, yeah.

Oh and the cigarette cap. The poor innocent tobacco companies. They're just out here trying to earn an honest dollar, and the governments around the world are like, now we want you to print individual slogans on the cigarettes. They're like, oh, dear God, guys. We're already punching, you know, pushing stuff uphill here. You're hiding our products behind a cupboard door.

You can't let us sponsor sports teams. We can't. We have to put literally decomposing organs on our products. Like, what do you want us to do? Maybe stop, I guess. That's probably the thing. Oh, I'm just trying to sell some tobacco to kids. Oh, no. Come on. No, it's a

it's an interesting proposition, isn't it? I wonder how much cigarettes are in the UK, because over here... How much are they now for a pack? I think it's like $25. Really? For a pack of cigarettes? Wild. $40?

$40? For $20? I think so. $40? Someone text us through if you know. Jeez. And the government is getting the majority of all that money. Oh my goodness. And I know it goes back

into health services for, you know, funding lung transplants and... But $40? Gee whiz. You've got to be committed to the cause.

Don't you? Yeah, really. Don't you? And I mean, I love it too because the people who are like, oh, I want to buy

the thing that's hidden away behind the cupboard and then I see the lungs that aren't in the best condition on the packet, but I'll fight my way through that. Oh, ignore that. And now there's one last thing they want to write, a witty slogan on the cigarette to see if that'll put them off.

Real Kiwi blokes with soy lattes. Shona and Ben, breakfast on the hits. Joining us right now in the studio, the latest evictee from the show, Electra Shock. How are you? I'm very good. How are you, boys? Was it a shock to use your name to be eliminated this week?

Do you know what? It wasn't a shock to be eliminated. You know, I was not ready to go home, but it did feel right. I was exhausted and I'd shown probably everything i possibly could do you know what i mean yeah like what is thirty thousand dollars you know i know it's thirty thousand dollars that it might even buy you a dormant like a bit of smashed ever on toast what am i really missing out on now the show is obviously all over the world i mean how as you have you felt like it's been life-changing going on the show now it's been playing out on telly oh definitely like it's a huge huge platform

and it's not the only way to become like an international drag superstar but it really really helps we were talking to graham norton the other day and he was just he'd been watching uh rupaul's drag race down under the night before we talked to him um he mistakenly thought we were on the show and we did we were too polite to tell him we weren't on the show. There was comedians, I think, Aunty Donna from, we worked it out later, from Australia. And I think he must have thought we were them. We took the gratitude anyway. We're like, thank you, Graham Norton.

He's like, thank you for everything you've done for a great race. And we're like, no worries. Too polite. But you, the lady who was the bearded lady on The Greatest Showman, split into your DMs as well. It's things like that that make this experience very, very cool. It's not so much the journey itself and the competition was stressful and amazing and life changing. And I grew and I learned so much. But it's the influence it's had on the audience that I'm enjoying the most.

Having people like that and people that I respect, people that I've learned from, watching it and touched by my journey and touched by the stories that I'm telling the most you know having people like that and people that I respect people that I've learned from watching it and touched by my journey and touched by the stories that I'm telling is very very special it's very inspirational and I imagine even for you RuPaul is probably an icon someone you look up to and so how was it meeting your hero and then working with them day in day out does that sort of wear off I mean they always say you know don't meet your heroes and I was very prepared as I walked in for, you know, RuPaul to be a total dickhead. But RuPaul was amazing. He really was amazing and so professional. He really does run the whole show.

But also, he also made time to, like, have a laugh and have a bit of banter and force to be reckoned with most certainly. But a good person at heart, I think. I was going to say, you spoke on the show being, you were pretty much homeless a few years ago. Yeah, yeah. And now, I mean, could you imagine your life now, looking back to then when, you know? It's so cheesy and kind of like drag saved me, you know, but it did.

I, for a long time there, thought I would never be on stage again. You know what I mean? I had a dance studio and like businesses go, it didn't go very well and I had to sell everything and, you know, it knocked i i had a dance studio and like businesses go didn't go very well and i had to sell everything and you know it knocked me back and knocked my confidence that was the prize for me i think on drag race because i got confident again you know what i mean i believed in myself again i thought you know what it does not matter what other people say have my

own back and then when everyone else wants to have my back they can have my own you know that's so back yourself and that was my biggest lesson, I think, from the show. Well, you're the master of your own destiny, aren't you? Well, you've got to be, because no one else is going to bloody do it for you. Do you know what I mean? Like, family and friends, you know, are wonderful. But, you know, sort yourself out.

Yeah, now, I'm just looking, because I love Alicia Shock. I think that's one of the greatest drag names. But I want you to go through there. This is a list of, you know, 250 of the greatest drag names. Now, Ben hates it go through there. This is a list of, you know, 250 of the greatest drag names. Now, Ben hates it when I get a list. Yeah, well, because we're not going to go through all 250, are we?

How long have you got? 149. But I'm just going to pick a couple out. First one is Dixie Normus. Yeah, that's good. That's great. I love a pun. I love a pun, man.

I like a pun too, yeah. That's a nine. That's a nine. Half of them I love a pun, man. I like a pun too, yeah. That's a nine. That's a nine. Half of them I can't actually read out. But I quite like this one. Is that to do with your reading or just... Hating my reading ability. Carlos the Uber Driver, I love.

Oh, that's a good name. Carlos the Uber Driver. I love Carlos the Uber Driver. Just, you know, because he's also from accounts. What's... Oh, Karen from Finance. Karen from Finance, yes. What's in this? Oh, Karen from Finance. Karen from Finance. It's similar sort of vein.

Karen from Finance. Yes, sorry. Similar vein. Yeah. Liza Lott. Liza Lott. Is there any other names that you've gone, oh, that would have been a good one?

There's a few drag queens on RuPaul's Drag Race. I know they could be called Liza Lott. I like Ivy Profan as well. I love that one. Ivy Profan. She's a friend of mine. Got Electra Shock with us from RuPaul's Drag Race Down Under. Now, do you ever get recognised not in drag?

Has that ever happened? Yeah, it started to happen. And it's funny, like, you know, in Aotearoa, because we don't like to compliment people. We don't like to sort of be like, hey, I know you from television here. Like, it's sort of like... Yeah, yeah.

But you see people, like, taking sneaky little photos and, like, it's a lot of mums and you see people like taking sneaky little photos and like it's it's a lot of mums and 13 year old girls staring at you and countdown you know it's like and this is not you in in drag no yeah well because the cool thing about drag race is that you get to see james as well so i and i think people if you're listening to this don't be shy if you see me in countdown say hi hi i want to take a photo with you because i would love to take a photo with everybody so don't be shy because sometimes you know the people try and take those sneaky little photos. It's a sneaky photo, and you're going to tell me I'm going to have a double chin

and be a bad angle and terrible lighting. Give me your phone so I can hold it six foot four. I'd rather take a photo from a distance like a creep, thank you very much. Oh, thank you. Just a sly little one. Hey, listen, congratulations on A, getting on the show, and all the success it has brought you and probably will continue to bring you. And I really appreciate your time this morning.

Thank you for having me, boys. It's been a pleasure. Spy. The What's Up. Spy.co.nz. I was watching, you know, Dan the Weatherman on the news last night. I was watching Dan. He forecast a lot of shade this morning,

particularly coming from the hit studio. And Juliet, who's firing the shade at the celebrities in Spy. What's going on? So it is the 10-year anniversary of this song. They say she's in the closet. The 18 by Ed Sheeran. Yeah, he wrote The 18 back in 2009 when he was... That doesn't make sense.

Oh, no, sorry. The 10-year release of the song. He wrote it in 2009. I was like, that's bad maths. When he was 18 years old, it was the song that led him to his first record deal

and eventually became his first single that broke him globally. And he wrote the song when he was in a student hall, just sitting on his bed when he was studying music in Surrey.

Oh, good on him. Well, it's almost broken me, actually, too, that song. I was just mentioning off-air the way that my iTunes works when you get into the car, you know, it just starts playing Apple Music.

Yeah, you connect your phone up and it goes right to the A. And given he's the A team, it's the song and it's the live version as well. Alright Camden, you know the words! Oh my god. It makes me want to drive off the road that song. That's bizarre that it does that. I mean, I use Spotify so it just

does it. It just automatically shuffles whatever I last had playing I get Jackson 5 ABC Oh wow ABC It's easy as well I hate the Jacksons It's funny how Heracles

over and over can make you detest it slowly They use it for prisoners of war Apparently when the US troops captured prisoners of war they'd play Metallica on loop. Really? And it would slowly drive them into insanity.

And the A-Team by Ed Sheeran is doing that to me. And Kate Moss is now working to become a tattoo artist, very bizarrely. The reason she wants to do this is kind of strange. She wants to go to Glastonbury Festival and be a tattoo artist there and tattoo people, the dr to go to Glastonbury Festival and be a tattoo artist there and tattoo people, the drunken people at Glastonbury. But Glastonbury's not on this year,

so maybe it's for the future. She's getting a good mate to teach her how to do it. She's done a couple of tattoos so far, but that's an interesting pivot from Kate Moss. Jeez, my friend started doing it, and you've got those awkward demo months, don't you, where you're like, they need to practice and get better but who's gonna offer up their body a friend of us Corey his brother does it and he was

used as the test case of many of his but he had to do it he's got he's a brother yeah true you know can you help me out for work like if I was learning to become a tattoo artist, would either of you let me? No. Absolutely not. I did once and you put your name, you put in wrong on your name. Oh, we had a bad start. You put a lightning bolt in and you put, so all you had to write was Jono and you spelled it wrong. I mean, that's, I let you do that.

I'm better now. Are you? Let me have another go. You've had your shot. You've had your shot. You've had your shot. Now I permanently have your name, but not your name. You're like, I'll try to do a lightning bolt in my name. You're like, okay.

Let me do a cover-up job. Leave me alone. Been scarred for life. Literally. Yeah, literally. And the Friends reunion, some more interesting stats have come out about the, so it's brought more sign-ups for HBO Max. Now, HBO Max is kind of like a Netflix or a, you know, Hulu or whatever.

It's a big streaming service in America. And the Friends reunion bought more sign-ups for that service than any other Warner Brothers film premiering on that platform in 2021. And it also bought them the most single-day sign-ups of this year so far. And it's interesting because now, you because now the 30-day free trials will be starting to expire. So they're now making bank off all the people who just signed up to watch the Friends reunion.

Oh, Ben's a sucker for a 30-day free trial, aren't you, buddy? But then you're in a race against time to watch the shows that you want to watch. I did that with Apple TV and they had the one-week one. I'm like, need to get the show Binge. And then you have to set reminders to binge. And I didn't do that. And then you have to set reminders to cancel it before you have to start paying.

That's what I have to do. And as spy for more, you can head to the hits.co.nz. Broadcasting live. And mostly awake. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast. On the hits. Jono and Ben on the hits.

I was just watching a little video. The Queen was at a charity lunch a couple of days ago. A few of the royal family were there in the UK, and they had a cake, and they were like, get the Queen to cut a cake, and they gave her a sword. Does she have, and I don't want to be ageist, does she have the upper body strength to handle a sword?

Well, she said, yeah. Like her, you can hear her saying, I don't think this is going to work. It's like, she says. She picked it. She's like, this is too much sword for this cake. And it's very fun. Like, it's like, you know,

because obviously you don't want to wield a sword around, so you're trying to gently do it. Then Camilla has to come and sort of help her sort of, you know, push it down. Why don't they just get a kitchen knife? So we'll get the queen to do the sword. Very unusual. See, you see the queen sort of looking around.

Who let this one through? Who let this one through? Which one of you am I going to fire after this? I'm never good at cake cutting. I always crumble under the pressure with a cake cut.

Because then I start cutting, when it's my cake, I start cutting it and at the end of my wash they're like, you cut them too big. They're too big for people. Then I have to go back

and then slide. I can never estimate how much cake is required for everyone in the room. It's a bit of a skill, that, isn't it? It is a skill. Yeah, and there's a lot of pressure because everyone's, you know, dribbling at the mouth waiting for cake. And kids also, too, are always, like, looking going,

that piece is bigger than mine. But, you know, kids are always worried about that, too. Yeah, and we've spoken about this before, the hygiene around a kid's birthday party where they're like, blow out the candles. Or multiple times sometimes, yeah. And then they're like, do you want a piece of cake? And I'm like, no.

Do you want some saliva cake? I'll just think what happened to it. With bits of chewed up burgering and rations all over the spot. I was here. We all filmed it. We all sang happy birthday and we filmed it. Now you want to help me. Now we're eating this thing.

Five words for 5K on the hits. You're only five words away from a massive payday. It's our game of word association. We play it every day at 7.45 and we're doing it again right now. You can win five grand if you match your words with our words. Amy, you're on from Auckland, Morena.

How are you? Hello. Good to have you on, Amo. I'll tell you, it's wonderful. It's wonderful sitting in the knowledge when we get out of bed first thing in the morning, knowing that we could make someone's day winning them $5,000 or bitterly disappoint them losing them $5,000.

But we're going to try our best for you, Amy. You play the game at home, do you? Yeah, I was listening to it last week when someone had to win it. Oh, yes. We had a couple of glorious weeks in the Five Words history books, and let's continue that on right now with you, Amy. You need to make the tough decision. This is a big decision.

Who are you sending into the soundproof booth? I'm going to go with Ben. Okay. Sorry, Dono. Hey, no hard feelings when it comes to Five Words. You've got to tactically play, and if you think you're more in sync with the nervy paranoid Ben Boyce then so be it he's headed into the soundproof booth and being soundproof it's very silent

and it's very violent in there Amy but now the pressure's on you you come up with five words you match them with Ben's we'll give you $5,000 that's how it works the first word for you amy yeah margarine um uh bread yeah that is a great option that's the first thing that popped into my head word number two for you amy is snow white what did you do okay we'll just write that in pencil okay I won't get the big pin out on that one just yet word three cake Oh chocolate Oh, chocolate. Lovely. Toyota. Corolla. Corolla, beautiful.

Classic one. It is a classic. I can't. Did you learn in a Toyota Corolla, Juliet, how to drive? No, I learned in a Toyota Prado. It's like a beast. Yeah. I'm in one right now.

You're in a Corolla right now. It would be rude not to go with that one. Yeah, I tell you what. The old rollers, they'll keep going until the end of time. Word number five is squeeze. Squeeze? Orange? I don't know. Oh, yeah.

Orange squeeze, orange juice. Oh, yeah. I don't know. I think so. I'll go with that. And we'll go back to word number two, which we had tentatively for Snow White. Yeah, I'll just go with that one. I'm not sure.

Snow White, that's a really good answer. Yeah, okay. Yeah, she's a popular Disney character. And if I know my friend Ben Boyce who wanders around with a Toy Story 4 backpack, you're playing into his sweet spot with Disney. Let's get him out of the soundproof booth. Oh, okay. Let's match you five words.

Let's win you $5,000. Ben Boyce. Amy, what do you do? I'm a student. What are you studying? I'm studying to be a paramedic. Oh, cool. Yeah.

That's really cool. You know, I learned to do the CPR, but then I've been to the CPR course three times, and every time I forget what I've learnt in the CPR course. Oh, well, I can't say I haven't. I need to save someone's life one day. Yeah, no, don't you forget it. Yeah, it's good to know. It's good to know.

It is. What's the rule? It's like a... Well, it depends, but like 30 to 2. 30 to 2. Staying alive was the rhythm of the staying alive. Well, there depends, but like 30 to 2. 30 to 2. Staying Alive was the rhythm of the Staying Alive. I know that's changed now, actually. Oh, it's changed?

Yeah. What's the new song? No, it's just, there's a new song that I can't even remember now. Dua Lipa, Don't Start Now. No, I don't know what it is. They've upgraded it. They're like, oh, bit dishes. All right, let's get into

five words first word Ben margarine spread yeah no that was right oh

whoops sorry speaking of you almost gave Amy a heart attack sorry Amy I thought you'd said bread rather than spread.

I'll give you a little ding now. There we go. Oh, jeez, I was like, oh, okay. And I love that Juliet just hit it with confidence as well. Bang! I was like, she's out. I was very confused, but was that the word or what was the word? Yes, it was.

Okay, I almost said butter, but that was, yeah. Oh, yes. Okay, word number two, snow. Ooh, got a couple in my head for this one. Oh, I'm just going to... I don't know if you're thinking what I'm thinking, so I'm going to throw it out there. White, snow, white.

Are you serious? Oh, we did it! Amy, you weren't too confident on snow white. I know, I know. Oh, that's a good start. I almost said snowflake, snowball. I know, I know. Oh, that's a good start. I almost said snowflake, snowball. Cake is word number three.

Birthday. Ah! We can't resuscitate this one, I'm sorry. Hey, Amy, listen. Sorry, Amy, we started well. Yeah. You're an absolute champion, Amy. You played a really good game.

It's been lovely meeting with you. Thank you very much for listening. We'll go through the final two words. Toyota. Hilux. Corolla. Squeeze. Orange.

Oh, three for five. Not a bad job. Not a bad job. Hey, will you go and be a paramedic? We'll continue doing some average radio and have a great Tuesday. Carry on. Thank you so much. Add these two men together and somehow you get three quarters worth of a normal man.

The hits with Jono and Ben for breakfast. We were just talking to Amy. She's on five words. She's studying to become a paramedic. And we were both just saying we've forgotten how to resuscitate someone if needed. And, Ben, they used the song Staying Alive. That was the rhythm of the way you needed to do the compression, right? Now, someone's just texted in 4487. I've just finished my co-response first aid course with the New Zealand Fire Service.

St. John's told them that they've now changed the song to Baby Shark. No. I'm not joking. Lol, says the text. That wasn't me saying I'm not joking. Lol. That's a good rhythm to bring someone back to life. Although the song slowly irritates you over time,

so I'm not sure if it's the right music you want rotating around in your head. There you go, Baby Shark, when you're pumping the heart. Well, there you go. Thank you. We're learning something this morning. Spy. No, what baby shark, when you're pumping the heart. Well, there you go. Thank you. We're learning something this morning. Spy. Go WhatsApp.

Spy.co.nz. All right, our dear friend Juliet, she's like a hungry hawk soaring through the skies looking for a celebrity carcass to swoop down on and have a little nibble.

And here she is with Spy. So Chrissy Teigen, John Legend's wife, has broken her silence on the widely publicised cyberbullying scandal where some really horrible old tweets and DMs that she'd sent to people resurfaced. So this morning she released a statement saying that not a single moment has passed

where she hasn't felt the crushing weight of regret for the things she's said in the past. She'd get sharp stabbing pains in her body when she'd randomly remember her past and the things she said. She said she was insecure, immature and thought back then that she needed to impress strangers to be accepted and that she'd often do this through poking fun at celebrities or seriously putting other people down. This obviously statement is getting completely mixed reviews from people. Some people saying thank you for your apology and some saying she's still an absolute monster. But that's out there in the open and hopefully... What did she do? I haven't been following this.

So in the past she told an 18 year old girl that she should kill herself. Oh really? Horrible. Absolutely horrible. And so that woman came out and showed the world essentially that Chrissy had said that to her privately way back when. And it's quite, that Chrissy had said that to her privately way back when.

And it's quite hard because Chrissy is usually quite a loved celebrity. People like her. She's quite relatable. And so this is a really shocking thing to see. Bit of brand damage. Yeah, totally. You can write it out. Ellen wrote it out, didn't she?

I don't know. Yeah, but Ellen is not as bad as what Chrissy has done. And in other news, Chris Hemsworth has made the Australian Queen's birthday on his list. He's obviously best known for his role as Thor in the Marvel Universe. For services to protein? Services to protein. But no, for his services to performing. His arms are massive.

They are. The photo that you showed me the other day, Jono, his arms are huge. I've got that as my screensaver now. Goals. the day, Jono. His arms are huge. I mean, he's... I've got that as my screensaver now. But he's got it for significant service to performing arts and charitable organisations. Like when the Australian bushfires happened, him and his wife donated a million dollars to that.

He's been a patron of the Australian Childhood Foundation since 2009. He seems like a good dude, doesn't he? Really good dude. Really humble, sort of low-key dude that just helps out in subtle ways. You know when you're like, oh, I'd be such good friends with that celebrity? You know, you think you would. Have you got that with him?

Yeah. We would get along like a house on fire. Yeah. And the few, we've never chatted to him, but occasionally I chat to, we'd be lucky enough to talk to someone and you always feel like at the end of the chat, they go, you guys are great dudes, you want to come out and appear? You know, you always feel like that's going to the chat they go, you guys are great dudes, you want to come out and have a beer? You know, you always feel like

that's going to happen but it never does. No. And to be honest, why would Chris Hemsworth want to be friends with me? Oh, totally. I wouldn't want to be

friends with me. Don't be so hard on yourself. And the Spice Girls are launching a limited edition EP to celebrate 25 years of this song. 25 years? God,

I wasn't even born when this song came out. So their limited edition EP will include three versions of this song. 25 years. God, I wasn't even born when this song came out. So the limited edition EP will include three versions of this song. One will be an unheard demo and one will be a remix, which will be kind of interesting.

And there will also be a new song called Feed Your Love that fans haven't really heard in full before. Also comes with a cassette. Yes, it does. I'm like, that's very old school.

It's just like, yeah, they're re-releasing it and they thought, you can also get a cassette as well. I don't think you'll have a plan to put it in, but'm like that's very old school. It's just like they're re-releasing it and they thought you can also get a cassette as well. I don't think you'll have a player to put it in but at least here we are. Like kind of a cool little thing to have. Again I had so many cassettes like CDs I just threw them all out. Are they going to make a retro comeback?

No I don't know. Cassettes like records did? I don't think they aged that well did they cassettes? They kind of like the quality you know. Yeah true. And then your friends or your siblings would record over your cassette. You know, you could record over, yeah, get over here!

Oh, you recorded over New Kids on the Block! Monster! I have to wait for that to be on the radio again to get that back. And then I have to record it, but then the DJ talks over the beginning of the song. Oh, I tell you what, it was a different time, Julian. I think it was, wasn't it?

And now I sound like an old man rambler. See why Hemsworth wouldn't want to be friends with me. 8 o'clock, you're with Jon Owen B, and they might have seen this on 7 Sharp last night. An Auckland man, Ricky, he's been mowing his streets, the berms on his street for the past couple of years because he gets frustrated that he thinks it looks tidier and he wants to help out and the council don't get around to doing it. I don't think the council mow berms now. No, they used to.

No, they stopped doing that a few years ago. So now he's also offering like $100 for some kids as well to sign up and also to go mow other berms in the neighbourhood. Pretty good, eh? $100 seems like what, for one berm? No, I would imagine it would be more than that. A full day's of berm work.

No, yeah, for tidying up local berm local booms you know getting New Zealand moving making a look nicer and so that's really good so if you want to be a boom donor you can do so I might just had an idea we could dress you up and you could go around doing it we call you mr. bo like Mr. Burns. And I like mowing lawns. Yeah. This is like a dream job. Who wants Mr. Burns to come out and do it? You're like, excellent. Excellent. A little weedy body pushing a lawnmower along. Yeah.

Pretty slow work rate, though. Yeah, but great, Mr. Burns. If you want Jono to do it and you're a neighbour, give us a call. I always thought if this falls through, or let's be honest, when this falls through, that mowing lawns would be my new vocation. You do like mowing lawns, don't you? Oh, I do. Yeah. And vacuuming driveways.

Yeah, so if you want your lawn vacuumed, I can do that as well. I'll do anything. After this, cash jobs, avoid the IRD. Now, next on the show, one of the members of the show had something very unusual happen. This is something you'd see on TV or in a movie, right?

I have never heard, I've seen it play out in comedy tropes and cliches, but I've never heard of it happening in real life. In fact, I thought they had too much traction for it to happen in real life. And I had something like similar that happened yesterday. Not exactly similar, but something again

I'm like, oh, that's never happened to me before. I've seen it on the TV. We'll find out what these two mysterious, vague events we are talking about next. That is the Hits You Got Chud on with Ben. I can't write one song that's not... That is Mitch James, Bright Blue Skies. You can get

out all the details at the Hits.co.nz. I think it starts in Auckland on Friday night, which would be pretty cool. That is pretty much our show. Before we go, I just want to say, apples. I don't know why I've been having them in the fruit bowl, because they taste so much better in the fridge. Oh, they do keep them crispier. They've got a longer lifespan.

You can get a good four weeks out of an apple in the fridge. I've only just started doing that. I'm like, why have I not? You know when you do something, you're like, why have I not been doing this earlier? Yeah. Do you know, I've gone back to a green apple. I've been a big Ambrosia fan over the last few years.

I went back to a green one. It's got a bit more of a tang. It does a bit more bite it does quite tang I'll give it a go yeah do do I'll give that a go

there's some light apple chat yeah you like them apples chat this morning hey tomorrow on the show we've got a big one we've got Anne-Marie you'll know her from songs

like 2002 and Rockabye she joins us as well as the Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern you know her from well being the Prime Minister we'll catch you guys tomorrow from 6 o'clock.

Have a great day.