Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL SHOW: A listener’s mother wants to confront him about a brothel…

Episode Date: April 28, 2026

On today’s show:  How should Megan explain what “sh*t” means to her toddlers? The strangest things strangers have asked you… A listener lived in a former brothel and was asked for “Lilly” all the time... his mother calls in to find out more details! The search for New Zealand’s best whistler! Why Jono was crying in front of the courier… Ben found a guy on the internet and invited him over to his house… Paul Williams joins to talk about his new series NZ Spy Instagram: @THEHITSBREAKFAST Facebook: The Hits Breakfast with Jono, Ben & MeganSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Jono Ben and Megan podcast, thanks to Dilma. Goodness really does taste great. Dilma, making the world a better tea. This podcast, here we go. Another one for you. We're a very exciting show today. Oh, my God, we're back again. We're actually meant to be at a company-wide award ceremony now.

Which is really nice. I think every couple of months they do the Champions Awards here for the company across the country. And, yeah. You ever won? No, no. Your wife has, right? She won. Yeah, she does marketing here.

She won last year. It's a nice. She felt like a million dollars after that. Because you don't know that you'd be nominated. Right. Maybe we should nominate one of us to make, who do want to nominate? Oh, no, let's not put ourselves out there. No, we can nominate the producers.

No, we could nominate the producers. Yeah, exactly. That's a lot better. The people who actually keep the company running, the backbone. Yeah, and I think that's why it's designed to, you know, because I guess, you know. The show ponies get all the air time. You put us, we pushed out there and stuff. It feels like people, you know, will occasionally come up to you or whatever.

and all text you and say nice things which is lovely. Do they? Occasionally. Not all the time. I don't get that. But. Oh, thanks.

But, you know, like sometimes people working behind the scenes don't get that recognition. Yeah, but I could still get some. Like, if you want to nominate me, I'm not opposed to it. I think she's really angling for a nomination for next. I've got a cute picture they can put up on the screen. I'm here every day. You've barely replied to a couple of emails. I had a flurry at the start of the year.

Oh, yeah. What are you want for me? Three days. We email bank people. Two days before a netball emcee. She couldn't make it, but that's right. I couldn't make it. At least I told you beforehand, Jono.

Oh, well, yeah, you're right. At least you go 48 hours warning. I go zero warning. I tell you what you have done. You work through the show and you often need to go to the bathroom and you hold off for a while. I am busting. I am busting.

It's like, it feels like a human rights violation. I've got the best bladder in the industry. For service? to strength, a strong bladder. It goes to Megan Pappas. Okay, we'll nominate you for that. For holding on.

I don't think you'll win, but hey, we'll put it in for next month. Just be nice to be nominated. Well done. She didn't pee for 35 minutes. It's been hours. Well done, Megan. It's been hours. Well done. Anyway, Megan also, not only

getting rewards for holding on, but also teaching your kids new words. Well, it wasn't me, but yeah, they learned a swear word. John O'Ben and Megan, the podcast. That's always fun when you have to explain something to your children. And explaining a word that you don't want them to be using. So my kids came along to see their dad. He plays Romeo in the musical and Juliet.

And it's pretty... He doesn't play Romeo and Juliet. The music's called And Julia. It's all about Juliet. He's so good. He could play both roles. Romeo in the musical and Juliet. Thank you.

So it's pretty family. me friendly, but there is little swearies. There's a couple of swearies. Not majorly, though. No. But I guess when you've got really young kids you're probably hyper aware of those things, yeah. Yeah, and for the really bad ones, I just distracted them

every time it was said because I know it's coming up, so I just am like, hey, and they don't connect. Oh, smoke screened it, nice work, yeah. Well, I can't even remember really bad ones. How bad are we talking here? There's an F word in the Pink Song, Perfect, which a lot of people were like, huh, but the original version has F words in it, but the version we play

obviously doesn't. Right. But there's another word that Juliette says when, spoiler, Romeo comes back from the dead. And my kids, I guess, because they don't know what it is, they've really cottoned onto it. And we've been listening to the soundtrack in the car, and yesterday I finally got the questions. Juliet says what? Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

He said, oh, shit. Do you know what that means? Maybe we shouldn't use words that we don't know what they mean. What? He said, oh, shit. Juliet. Juliet did. Why?

It's because I'm from you and was alive. Yeah, but we don't need to use that. He's right. He's right. They've nailed it. They really had valid the context of it, too. I know that's the thing. I don't even want to give it context because then they don't need to use it.

We don't need to use it, but mummy will record you and play you on the radio. Okay. From that, we will... There's just something so... I was trying not to laugh because it's so funny when you're like,

little kid is just like saying it over and over again. Who says? Who says? What Julia says? And she keeps saying it. Yeah. Yeah.

She does. Yeah. And the more reaction you give it, the more you're going to hear it in the day to day. Exactly. So I was just like, let's just not use words.

I find you have to also be careful when you're driving too though. Listen to a lot of stuff when you're talking to other motorists just in the comfort of your own car. All sorts of wild stuff comes out.

They're in the back sometimes. It's those moments, yeah, as a parent. I've taken my daughter's to a couple of musicals, a little bit more growing up ones. And they'd be fine, and there's definitely those scenes. You're like, well, this going on. Because of the Rocky Horror, you're at. Yeah, there was a bedroom scene going on for a bit too long for my liking.

The audience were loving it. And I'm like, just wrap this up, guys, wrap it up. Just keep it to my normal 60 seconds. Everyone's happy. No one's disappointed. Got on too long, not realistic. Not realistic at all, guys. Wrap it out.

Get it done. Move on. We've got a to-do list. John O'Benn and Megan, the podcast. The Hits. Every time I go to a discount mall, I'm like, why am I just not buying everything in my life at a discount more? Do you do that?

Yeah. Why do we go to normal retailers? I don't really buy much full price. Because I like, I stalk things, you know? You save it until it goes on. Well, that's just keeping that ruse up for her husband, Andrew. I guess there's more options. I've never bought anything full price, Andrew.

Sometimes discount things. There might be one or two. The less stuff, it feels like, you know. Yeah, less selection. Yeah, it's what's left over. Yeah. Anyway, I went to the discount mall and, yeah, great stuff. I was actually after some discount socks.

And I went into a shop and... Why? Sox are not expensive. No, I was just in the mall. I said, oh, there's socks there. Yeah, I didn't go there with the intention of... Oh, okay. That's what you made it sound like.

I said, I'm going to need some socks. I'm going to drive all the way to my discount mall. You can get in the supermarket too. Yeah. You can get socks anywhere. Petrol station, I'll see you get socks. There's nowhere you can't buy socks. So this guy, he comes up to me in the shop,

and he's got a shirt on that he's trying, and he just launches in. Okay, we're on a first date. Imagine this. What do you think? And he sort of eyeballs down to his shirt. And it was a nice shirt. I didn't know the guy, so, you know,

when you've just met someone, you don't know what their fashion senses and, you know, what their style is, and I was dragons, a lot of dragons, a lot of colors, so quite a flamboyant shirt.

Sort of a party. Oh, okay. And I was like, Megan's like, dragons. Okay. I was bamboozled by the amount of colors on this shirt.

I had the full Rizene color chart on this shirt. Okay. And I was like, we're on a first date. He's like, we're on a first date. I said, I'm taking you home.

Oh, but you're like me, you're a people pleaser. Like deep down, you probably didn't think it was right. I know. Yes, Ben. And then he walked off

And then I was like, I've done him wrong. I've done this stranger A complete disservice. I don't know. If he's listening, please, 0,800. That's how the date go?

Or did you recently go on a date with someone with a really crazy wild shirt on? How did that end up? But I didn't know what else to say, though. Because you're like, I also didn't have time to do a full fashion show that's try on seven different shirts.

Maybe I like it, but maybe not first date. Yeah, see, I'm a big fan of hiding my crazy till later. you know reel them in and then show them you like dragons on your shirt yeah like I've got like shirts with like Burton Ernie on it but I wouldn't probably wear it on the first day yeah like Ben's got a garage full of costumes but you're keeping those hidden he hides that yeah yeah he's not going to wear one of those to the first date and then when he reveals it it's like 50 shades of grey

he looks over the garage door I've been hiding a secret a dead dark secret for a while do you want to wear a lobster costume All right, well, we want to know this morning, the strangest thing a stranger has asked you. Yeah, I mean, it's a big favour. I mean, he doesn't know anything about me or what my morals are or, you know, what I think good fashion is. He also thought you dressed okay to be asking you.

Yeah, true. Yeah, true. I guess so. Second opinion. Well, there was no one else in the shop. Mentioned the other day that someone asked me, first time ever to spot them at the gym, a stranger. And that was, I was like, what are I doing?

It was a choice. What are we? Again, was there no one else there. Yeah, and I think he regretted it, too, when I was going, what do I'll do? He's like, just make sure I don't die. Was it like, okay. Two of the last questions I would ask you to.

Yeah, exactly. I was the wrong person. How many pumps did he do? Like, probably at six or seven. And then he didn't do it a second or third set. Well, with me at least. He's like, yeah, I'm all done. I'm like, great.

He definitely did the second or third set. With someone else. I was like, is that it? Oh, me, mate. Spotting you, buddy. I don't think I've got to lift it back up. Have I got a garage to show you later on tonight? The strangest thing of strangers asked you to do.

producer Troy's got a very unusual one Oh to do with he helps out Visually impaired strangers Yeah which is actually really awesome John O'Ben and Megan The podcast We're talking about the strangest thing A strangers asked you to do

Yeah I was asked for some fashion advice from a guy In a discount shop He just came out to me He said imagine this we're on a first date What do you think of the shirt Said I love it You see he had dragons on it Yeah dragons on it

I mean there's nothing wrong with the shirt With dragons on it No but just hide the dragons Till you've put them in Not first date. A dragon's too much, are they? What are you? Okay, I'm turning up on a first date with dragons.

Producer Troy, welcome, and you would be a dragon shirt guy, wouldn't you? No. No, he wouldn't. Don't say that. He'd be an obscure music t-shirt. He might have, like, piano notes across the chest, you know. It's a bit more subtle. Probably the wrong thing as well.

We've got to text Sart through. My husband and I are both very tall, and once at the supermarket, a stranger came out to us and said, are they all your size? where you come from or you do just freaks. I was like, wow. Oh, geez.

That's really, really confident. I thought it would be like, can you get something off the top shelf or something? Yeah. The good thing to ask. You know, sometimes you can, you don't have, you can keep those thoughts to yourself.

Yeah. Yeah. You could go home and go, man, you're just in these two tall people I saw. I was going to say this. But I didn't. Because I didn't want to ruin their day. Yeah.

So 800 of the hits the telephone number. Grace, I think that person's just dropped off, mate, if you can try and get him back on. But producer Troy, you help out. The visually impaired from time to time.

There's an app called Be My Eyes, and it's an app that blind people can use to call sighted people and ask for help. And so every now and then, there's like 10 million people that use the app to help, and only 1 million blind people use it, so you don't get a call very often. I was with you when you got your phone rang that other day, and you got so excited, you missed it.

I know, I was like, I got, I forgot to answer it. But they ask things like, what color is this shirt, or are my lights on? Oh, of course. What a genius idea for an app Because I suppose if you've got people in your life And you are visually impaired You probably don't want to

You phone them up every 10 minutes For little things Yeah Have I got my socks on the right way? Stuff like that I don't know why you would have them on the wrong way But that's lovely that you do Some guy last week was like I'm about to go get on the piss with my mates

Where's the 15 year whiskey? I'm right there mate Oh so he was showing you around the cupboard You're showing me as his whiskey cabinet Oh right 15 years bottom right mate Please tell me you said I'm going to get blind drunk Please Please tell me

They'll be really It's just drunk for It's just normal drunk It's just normal drinking Okay Scotty welcome Strangest thing Strangers asked of you

mate Hey guys How's it going Good When I used to live Flat in Auckland We lived in a house That was a brothel

Before we were there Okay Yeah So we had a few Strangers Turn up And asked for certain things Usually looking for Lily

or any recommendations of where to go now that she was gone. Where is Lily? Lily was very popular, Scott. She didn't leave your forwarding address. She was very popular, yeah. The guy that owned it used to run it kind of around the back of a Chinese takeaway and we were up at the back of that. It was quite an interesting little spot.

Diversify. Diversify in the portfolio. And was there times where you're like low on money and you're like, it's an odd. it's an option no no mate it's an option things are top

we got so sick of it and it was about 9pm and one of the flatmates just answered the door and he just had his undies on and it was actually a young lady looking for directions directions directions to find Lily

or just maybe I don't know John O'Ben and Megan the podcast that earlier today we we had some call up yeah we were

what we were Oh, it was the strangest thing as strangers asked of you. And we had this call from a gentleman who actually was living in a house of ill repute, a former one. So it was just a flat now, and then people would be knocking at the door at all hours. When I used to live flat in Auckland, we lived in a house that was a brothel before we were there. Okay, yeah. So we had a few strangers turn up and asked for certain things. Usually looking for Lily.

Always after Lily. And they were like, oh, Lily's no longer here. And they're like, well, do you know where Lily's gone? No forwarding address from Lily. No, so that was fun. We got on with our life. And then we received two hours later a text message from that particular caller's mother. Welcome, Paula.

Welcome, guys. Hi. Now, you recognise the voice. I did. I really do. And the scenario. Yeah. No.

I knew that it was not necessarily, yeah. It's probably not standard. It's rock standard because I met the landlord when the guys first tried to get in there, you know. Mother goes to meet the landlord, sweet talks and shores them everything will be fine, any damage it'll get paid. So, and he was an interesting chat.

Right. Yeah. And so, is this the first time you hearing about the House's history? I wish I'd known about Lily a bit earlier. I could have helped the guys finder, really. Did you ever go and stay with the boys? Yeah, yeah, we did. Well, I did, yeah.

And there was never, was no one knocked on the door when you were there? Oh, it was a very unusual house You would never have known Have you had tucked away in one corner She's a part Hard of you could have gone I'm Lily

Here I am Had I known I known I could have arranged something You know I've got greens in Auckland Yeah Up to you, up to you I'm going to get

Lily's ticket Makes some money mate So will there be words with your son now Oh look It'll be an interesting visit When I catch up with him Yeah Well sorry I'm sorry

We had to be the ones To tell you really In a roundabout way. Oh, yeah, thanks. I'm going to just keep listening. Do you know, I might find out a lot more that they never told me. There's another one of lurking in the background, so hey, we'll see.

Good on you, Paul. John O'Ben and Megan, the podcast. That's... Dumbercrossless yesterday in America, you know, they do the anthem before, big sporting games over there, but I've never seen the anthem done by someone whistling. They do, they? Do they do the anthem ahead of every, like, sport, like, every NBA game, every baseball game? I think so, yeah.

Geez, they love tuning out that anthem, don't they? Very patron. And it's a great. It's a great anthem too. You know, when it's sung well, it's, you know, it's testy. It tests you, but it's, you know, it's incredible. So this guy, he really, he put it all on the line here. This is four-time whistling champion.

He's the member of the Whistling Hall of Fame. Who knew Whistling needed a Hall of Fame? But after listening to him, I understand why he's in that Hall of Fame. Chris Olman, his name. Here we go. Wow. I'm waiting for a bird to land on his shoulder. He sounds like a...

like a little tin whistle. Wow. That's pretty impressive. And doing that live, this is live at a stadium too. It could go wrong. You know, whistling sometimes you're like, I'll whistle and you're like, you know, you can't quite get the whistling out. Or if you smile, like, it ruins it.

So he's amazing, amazing job. He took, he's taken singing, removing all the words and adding a lot more risk to his public performance. Yeah. Because whistling, you don't know, you don't know how your whistle conditions are, do you? You're right. Because sometimes you start with all. What do you mean? You don't, I guess Chris sounds like if he's in the Hall of Fame,

you might practice a bit more than I do. Don't you worry about him. Yeah. You always give me grief because I suck and don't blow in the whistle. Same result. Same result, but it really looks weird. You don't get enough, like if you breathe in and then blow out, you get longer. Yeah.

Yeah, it's, yeah, it's shaky bearer hands. Well, I don't know New Zealand's best whistler. Are you that whistler? 0-800 the hits, 448, 7. My wife is a really loud whistle And I tried to record her last night While she was making dinner And it was so loud

It doesn't really do it justice on the phone I think even the phone went quiet afterwards Because it was so loud But have a listen to this Even the dog went off the second time Okay Okay I need your loudest whistle

I know you're in the middle of making dinner And then then she did a second time It was so loud The dog You can tell the phone The phone's taking a few seconds to recover from the trauma. It goes really quiet afterwards on the phone because it was just like, it picked it out

because we're in the kitchen. What are you doing to me? We were so loud. We're like, whoa, and then listen to it back and you're like, oh, it didn't sound as loud on the phone, but geez it was loud. And one of your big bug bears is being whistled at in public. Yeah, I know.

I feel like a dog. Next time we're walking anywhere, I can remember that. Don't whistle at me. Don't whistle at me. I'm not going to ignore it. No, well. Don't want someone whistle to come over. Get him on.

Oh, 800 of the hits. 4, 4, 8, 7, 7. Megan, you back yourself. You back your whistle. I'd whistle a lot, but I think I grew up because my mum whistles a lot. Oh, Ray Ray would be a whistle. Yeah, we whistle along to songs and stuff to the point where my husband's like, stop now, stop. You don't even know you're doing it sometimes.

No, I don't. But I'm, like, I'm okay in it. So I thought I'd, like, record myself. Yeah, so you thought you'd be better than the US anthem, go? No. You just to compare yourself to the US. You wished you were better than the USF, yeah. That's not you, right?

Yeah. It's pretty good. That's pretty good. That's really good. Thank you. I mean, you're not four times Hall of Fame. But, you know, but yeah. Four-time Hall of Fame, whistling champion, Chris, what's his name, Ollman?

Yeah. We should try and track Chris down. John O'Ben and Megan. The podcast. The Hits. Give a New Zealand's best whistler. Oh, no, 100 of the hits this morning? Yeah, four-time whistling champion, member of the Whistling Hall of Fame, Chris

Solomon smashed the U.S. Star-Spangled Banner in front of a stadium full of baseball fans. A lot high pressure. God, that's very quiet. What's so than singing you would imagine? I reckon so, yeah. Well done to Chris. Well on to Megan Pappas, too, who we wanted to mock you, but you were really good too, Megan. Why am I playing that?

That's good, Megan. Also performed with Flowrider. That's not bad. That's not bad. You've got some talents there. Have you ever taken that to New Zealand Idol, X Factor or anything like that? No.

But there's still time. There's still time. Reach for the... Reach for your dreams, mate. So yes, we're after New Zealand's best whistler on 0800 of the hits. That's the telephone number this morning. Nico, Morena, good morning to you. Hey, Morena, team, Morena.

Lovely to have you on. Now, listen, producer Troy has said, are we talking professional whistler, semi-professional whistler? Oh, no, nah, you know, just a little something on the side, eh. Hobby, hobby whistler. That's it, yeah. Apparently, you do a lot of singing and whistling on social media, and it's huge.

Yeah, yeah, it's kind of brought up with singing and, you know, and yeah, the whistling just come with that, so, yeah. Now, producer Troy is really, he's going out of his producer's skin this morning. He's even provided some audio of your Nico. This is what you can do online. Oh, wow. That is a deuce. Your whistle's got some soul. Yeah.

When did you know that you were like, actually I'm pretty good in the whistle game? Probably going through school, eh? Like I'd just be like that annoying guy just whistling around school. Some of the friends would love it, and some of them would just tell me to shut up. And yeah. You were like, my lips are built different.

I don't know what else to say. Could we give it a bit of a cappella whistling on the radio, Nico? I'll put you on the spot. Oh, all right then. Anything you guys want to hear? Anything. It's just Vangelis chariots of fire. We'll probably go with our national anthem, eh?

Oh, that's a great option. That was my second one. All right. Can I get a bit of a countdown, please? Okay, from 20. 90. Three, two, one. I feel like the phone's doing us doing.

Oh, no. Is the phone cutting us out? Yeah. Oh, no. He must be quite loud. Oh, no. I have to imagine it. I can imagine it's really good.

Yeah, the phone's playing up. Give us a little test whistle. I don't think the old 5G is playing ball with us. Oh, might be. Give us a test whistle? It's not even allowing you. His whistle is too good. It's too good.

The phone's like, I can't do it. I can't do anything with us. Oh, guys. That's not your fault, mate. We're going to blame one New Zealand and or spark. Yeah, we'll put it on Spark for that one. But listen, what you've done online's incredible. Thank you, guys.

If people want to follow you, what's your handle? TikTok is Nico Bro, N-I-K-A-U-B-R-O. Actually, producer Troy's, if you text whistle to 4487, will bounce back one of Nico's videos. Well, Nico, thank you so much for sharing that with us. I appreciate it. And keep these coming through, shall we? Under the hits, 4-487.

If you think you're in New Zealand's best whistle, I think we might have just talked to him then. Oh, that's awesome. At the moment, we're going to take his word for it. John O'Bennon and Megan, the podcast. The Hats. Megan Pappas thinks she could be in contention. Yeah, you're pretty good.

My dad loves a whistle. He loves whistling. And I just tried to call him, but he didn't answer. He would do one. And it wasn't that good, but he would go into stores and then make her like, what he thought sounded like the phone ringing, the whistle. And then he'll be like, is your phone ringing? They'll be in the store.

Just look at him like, no? Clearly, it's you, you just did it with your mouth. And as a kid, you're just like, oh, God, Dad, oh, no. I think it's your phone, is that your phone? Then sometimes you take a shoe off and, like, talk to them like a phone. And I'll just be like, it's probably why I embarrass my kids now on social media. Yeah, it all makes sense to me now. And I'll be like, oh, daddy, go, hello, hello, sorry, I've got to take this,

and I'll be left there at their counter. And they're like, sir, this is the emergency department. What are they saying? We really don't have time for this phone of one-man pantomine. The airport doesn't fall far from me. the tree. That was like, geez. Yeah, I haven't done that.

Maybe I'll try that one on the kids too. There was, I tell you what, there's a lot of wild stuff going on in the world. You've got assassination attempts. You've got the straight of Hamos. All sorts. Wars going on, but we are after New Zealand's best whistler. That's right. If you've just arrived in the country, welcome.

This is what we do down here. Haley, welcome to the, Haley. She's practicing. She's warming up. She's warming up. Yeah, yeah. Haley, you can do a great whistle. What can you do?

La Cuconacha. Oh. Okay. with that. You can't help but jiggle your body to that. I feel like I'm in an old El Paso taco commercial. That's very good. Bhabba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-a. Very good.

A problematic taco commercial. You could be New Zealand's best whistler. Thank you so much for calling. Pleasure. Hey Lee, sorry, Hannah, welcome. How are you? Happy New Year. Happy New Year. A lot of greetings there. Was a question trying on in the middle?

It didn't give you the chance to answer any of them. Hannah, you think you got New Zealand's best Whistler with you? Oh he's pretty good especially for his age. Oh so who are we talking to? Well, mum, we've been talking to you but um say hi hi hi hi hi hi who's this? Hi hi Bo are you a good whistler? Yeah how old are you how old are you? Um I'm sexed okay all right our youngest our youngest entry into the New Zealand Whistling Hall of Fame take it away Bo? Oh can you do that? It's your birds you're copying, isn't it?

Sounded good. Sounded good to me. I don't know if you guys... Why did they do that? What could luck? Maybe... Was she on speaker? Put it on speaker.

Hannah, this feels like backroom stuff I could have sorted it out before we were live on the radio. But Hannah, can you put your phone on speaker and give it another crack? Oh, sure. Give it a go, Beau. Give it again. Oh, the anticipation. I'm so one-hael.

It's now you're like, well, it's getting people to phone in a whistle. Yeah. What if you pull the phone a bit further away from him? We're going to give it a third go. Yeah. I feel bad for Bo. Yeah. Are you really bad?

One more time. Oh, you're getting bits of it, but not there. Listen, I'm going to say this right now. No one is going anywhere until we hear this whistle. Okay. Does it not work again? No. It's not your fault.

It's our technology. This is on us. We're meant to be the professional radio people. We shouldn't have got people to phone in trying to whistle. It cuts out the phone. It's on us. Okay, well, we can try and get a video. Should we try and get a video?

That's all right, admin, on your end. She don't get a video, then we can play it from the video and also put it on the Hits Breakfast. It feels like it needs that. I'll send you a video. Thank you so much. I'm sorry to make you guys around us. This is not on you and Bo, all right, love you.

John O'Ben and Megan, the podcast, the hits. Yesterday I found myself in a somewhat of a YouTube, or not YouTube, whole, Instagram whole. God, it takes a hold here. Watching social media here. Oh, man, it really is. I reckon it's a bloody epidemic Do you imagine how much time's wasted

Just bloody Looking at Like a timer Although I keep saying though I went to go home from school Back in the day And I would watch TV for hours You know

Like I feel like you're gonna find something Do you Producer Troy has put his phone on black and white And apparently that's a way to stop You're scrolling Because everything doesn't look so Like pretty and inviting or something If you put it on black and light

Yeah You could try that No I like So you don't even want to stop No, I don't. Sometimes I enjoy, sit down and go, huh, I can have a nice stuff. I've parked the car in the driveway.

I've got home. Before I go inside, I'm just going to do a little car set too. Oh, yeah, sometimes. Just like a five minute. Just for me. Just a little scroll. Just before I deal with the family. Yeah, the family are like, we saw your carpool.

I know, yeah, I did that too. Oh, look, there's a cat with shoes on, mopping a floor. Yeah, sometimes you need that. A little dopamine hip before you go inside. All right, I'm ready to. Great thing about addictions is they make you feel a wonderful. Don't give up on them guys.

But you know, but you know, So I got trapped in this video. Now, this was, I'm going to play it to you to see if it evokes any sort of emotion in you. Because I might have just been in a vulnerable moment. You know? And this is how you know your kid was raised right. So I'll set the scene. In fact, if you text cry to 4487 will bounce the video back to you.

Okay, I want to do a mass polling to see if this evokes any emotion. So it's a baseball game, kids baseball game. Okay, there's a pitcher throwing to a batter. Yeah. the ball hits the batter's head the batter then collapses he saw Kanye West starts playing

okay bit of emotion now the batter's on first base he notices the pitcher is really upset and crying the batter goes over and hugs the pitcher he's hugging him going okay mate I'm fine

Look, it's making me emotional again. The picture is the one who hit the batter, and he's upset that he hurt him. And then he went in, the batter hugged him. And so anyway, that really got me. Okay, my tears. And then I kept watching it, and the more I kept watching, the more I started crying. But worse and worse. To the point where it was like, ugly crying.

And then I hear, it's a bloody courier at the door. Oh, and I had to answer the door. Freshly cried eyes. You weren't in your undies, were you? I wasn't crying in my underpants. I wasn't watching teenage boys baseball in my underpants. I don't know. I don't know.

It's just checking. And then I... Crying over teenage boys, not my son. And then I thought I had to front foot it with a career. I'm like, sorry, man. I was just watching a really emotional video inside there. And I could tell he's like, can you just sign for the package? I need to get on with my day.

You didn't like go and show him, mate. No, no. You watch this, I says, man. Yeah, I was going to say. Part of me was like, I need to justify why I'm crying, make me feel validated, but no, I didn't invite him in. So, oh, 800, that's. Last thing you cried at, 4487.

Megan, you've got one next. You're going to tell us. Yes. This is a common theme for your crying lately. Yeah, and it wasn't just a like a little cry. It was a sob on my hands and knees. Oh, really? Yeah.

We can laugh about it, honestly. Cameron? It was quite raw. It was last night, wasn't it? It was last night. John O'Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits.

I said many times I'm not a very handy person when it comes to stuff around the house. I can do a flat pack. you know, I can follow instructions. Although sometimes the instructions, I really feel like they were written by someone who hates you. Yeah. You know? This is what happened to me over the weekend

because my wife's like my, well, my daughter had got like a new desk slash vanity sort of set up with drawers and a mirror and stuff. And my wife's like, and then there was two sort of bedside tables we got for the kids as well. So my wife's like, can you have a crack at the flat packs? I'm like, yeah, yeah. And then my daughter and I got the stuff out.

Now, admitted we'd been out dinner, I'd had a couple of beers. Like, let's get into this flat pack. Great conditions. This is Saturday night, and I was about 10 o'clock, and I was like, yeah, we'll have a little look now. 10 p.m. Geez. I don't know, because my daughter was excited about it.

We put all the stuff out. I'm like, there is so much stuff. Like, every jaw's got multiple bits. There's all these latches. I'm like, the instructions look tricky. I was like, whew. I always see on the instructions, there's always a smiling guy with a screwdriver. And I've never one's smile holding that screwdriver.

And, yeah, my wife's like, yeah, can you sort it? And I'm like, yeah, I can sort of. I think she ended up going to be, my daughter and I are like, okay, we can have a look at this. And I was like, oh, it's pretty tricky. And my daughter's like, yeah, it's pretty tricky. She's also like, you've had a few beers. Yeah. Is this a good idea?

I was like, there's got to be someone. There's got to be people that love doing this thing. There's got to be people online. So I got my phone and look, and I was like, oh, yeah, people flatpacking. And you put your little, you put your little job up on this sort of website thing, this temporary thing, you know, like enroll and put it up there. Put the photo up there. And then suddenly I was like, I'll probably hear from people in the morning, suddenly, ding, ding,

phone starts to come back. People going, hey. At 10 p.m on Saturday night. People are like, I can do your job. How about this price? Someone else goes, I can do the job out, but this price. I'm like, well, they're lower than the last person. These guys.

And then the third one came through. I was like, that's a great price. Do they see each other haggling? I don't know if they do. Right. And we're just trying to race to the bottom. Yeah. And I was like, well, this is great.

And I said, ending my daughter, I was like, this guy will do it. And I'm like, texting back. But sounds good. When can you do it? He's like, how about tomorrow morning? I'm like, great, great. So he came on over.

On a Sunday morning? Yeah, came on over. Like how early? Oh, lucky. It would be over like 9.9.30. I'm like, yeah, sweet. No worries. And then did it.

And we're doing a wonderful job. I'm like, hey, mate, well, you're here. Can you do these two bedside tables as well? He's like, yeah, no worries at all. I was like, yeah. How long? How long? How long?

How long? I mean, he did say, because he looked at the picture. He was like, and I was quite glad to hear him say. It was a bit tricky than I thought it was going to be. I'm like, there you go. There you go, man. That's what I thought, mate. I tried doing it after dinner.

Wait, so was your wife Amanda at home on Sunday morning when this guy came over? No, but she came back at some stage. And she's like, what's that? The guy doing here, and I'm like, oh, look, that guy has come to help put the together thing. You said, to me, just sort it. I've sorted it. And he's doing the bedside.

It's a great, great hack, if you ever want. I mean, obviously, got to pay money and stuff. but it's a great hack. Nice. People that will do things that you don't want to do. Yeah, good on you. For me, it's not like, I can figure it out, but it's the time. Yeah.

Because we've got a couple of chairs. We've got a couple of chairs just sitting in our house and I'm like, I'm going to get to that. You're not scrolling Instagram anyway. Just including it as part of his hobby. So real heroes out there, guys. You should have got him over at 10pm though while Amanda was asleep. I know. He probably would have come over.

Oh, yeah. Should never have known. Stick a guy into the house. Shh, my wife said I say, Gay, just be quiet. Don't use a drill, use your hands. John O'Benn and Megan, the podcast. There's a new show out by comedian Paul Williams.

Introducing New Zealand's Intelligence Agency. Tomorrow at 0,500 hours. What is that at normal time? 5 a.m. That's so early. Paul Williams, nice to see her. Ben Boyce, thank you for having me. Full names.

Yes. Nice to have full names. New Zealand spy, a new show that you've got coming out this week on TVNZ and TVZ Plus. Very exciting. It looks funny. So it's based on the New Zealand spy agency. Yeah, I didn't do a lot of research, but yeah, vaguely. What have we got a spy agency?

Isn't it in Mulbra? There's those domes in Mulbrough there. You're looking very confused. You must have done a lot of research. I can't talk about it. No, you can't. I definitely aren't a spy. No.

Well, because you love James Bond, right? Yeah, yeah. And New Zealand, you know, generally a long way away from James Bond. So that's where the comedy lies, obviously in the show, would you say? Yeah. Yeah, hopefully. That's the goal? They're calling it a comedy, but I'm like, let's wait and see.

Too soon to tell? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Could be a docker. Could be a docker. Yeah, it's a dog or a drama. Great to release his show and then figure out what genre falls in after. Yeah, no, that's my strategy. Yeah.

It's a great lineup of people that joined you. You people from overseas as well, including Brett McKenzie from Flight of the Concord, so people will know well. And he had a pretty Kiwi response to an email. Basically, I sent him a letter, well, in an email. It was a PDF. And like kind of on the last possible day where it was like, we need to cast like now. Yeah, he just sent an email and was like, sorry, I've been out on tour.

Yeah, Keen. And that was it. And we were just like, what? Yeah, he's a hero. So it was, yeah, it was a dream. And the nicest guy, like, I didn't really know him other than when I was a teenager and stalking him and met him a couple times after shows, like I said, we were a stalking. Did you tell him this before or after you'd cast him in the show?

I told him after a few days, maybe, where I felt. I mean, when I realized he was the world's nicest man, I was like, he'll be fine with it. It'll be fine. It won't be weird now. He's already said, yeah, keen, so he can't take that back. Yeah, yeah. No, he'd, like, shot most of his stuff. Oh, yeah.

He was locked in. Now, Paul, we must offer you a huge congratulations. Thank you. Not only if you birthed your own television show, you witnessed the birth of your own child. Yeah, well, you're assuming I was there. Were you not there? I was there. No, I was there.

Yeah, I have a son. What's his name? His name's August. That's a cute name. But he was born in February, so confusing. He's a Pisces, but love the guy. Yeah, has it changed your life? I mean, yeah.

I'm tired. I'm tired now, but I also have a lot of milk stains down the back of my shirts now. Have you been weed on yet? Little boys tend to do that, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Do you know there's a little trick when you change their nappy because often when the breeze touches the whee comes out. So you're supposed to go and then catch it with the nappy when they wait.

No one ever told me that trick. We're a live demonstration with Jono right now. Paul can change my nappy No, let's not go there, actually. We have a product called a TP and it's this little sort of soft fabric tent that you put over it. He pees into that.

Kind of works. Is it like a clan hood? Kind of, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fully white. No, it's, um, it kind of works. You know, many people know, many people know, but some might not know

that you're also the brother of Guy Williams. How's Guy as his uncle? I imagine he will be the shambolic uncle. Yeah, he's I don't really let him hold the baby. Fair enough. He has kind of one volume, is he like, gai, baby, how are you? We put the

earmuffs on the baby to protect the hearing. You're right, actually. He's the loudest person I've ever met, like Guy, but yeah. He's like that all the time, too. He's just loud. Yes, he's very loud. How are you so different? Like, you are really, like, polar opposite people? Yeah, we like a lot of the same things. But yeah,

We talk at different volumes. We both big sneezes though. Big sneezes. Yeah. Williams, yeah. I have a loud sneeze and big heads. And I actually in the past have been physically confused for him, even though I'm a good foot shorter.

Yeah, someone spoke to me for a long time once. And then after about 10 minutes of talking to them, I realized they thought I was guy. But it was too late to like sort of get out of it or correct them. So I just said some really problematic stuff. That's got Williams one. the way, I'll see you later. Well, Paul, I love to catch up with you.

And congrats on the new series and people can catch it this week on on TV and on TVZ Plus.