Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL SHOW: An On Air Cross Station Sock Disaster!

Episode Date: September 22, 2024

ON THE SHOW TODAY: Who's Most likely to be scammed? Jono is watching p*rn in his car?!?! Producer Ellie turn the AI roast into the best rap diss track ever Megan's best year does not surprise us Help! My hubby has tinder... for finding new friends Ben's sunnies + dog poop = A very bad day Do you and your partner buy each other Christmas presents? Facebook: The Hits Breakfast with Jono and Ben Instagram: THEHITSBREAKFASTSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This John O'Bien podcast, hey that's us, brought to you by HelloFresh, the experts and tastes that Kiwis love. Welcome to the podcast, it's a great one for you today, but not necessarily for you Megan, because you might not be getting presents at Christmas. No, my husband's pitched a no present policy. Yeah, and the audience were divided on this too, you'll hear that coming up, and also what happens if you're on Tinder and you're in a relationship? Well, you can imagine what happens and a shambolic moment even for us when a package arrived from china it was it's blindsided all of us and i knew nothing about it but you'll have that for you right now last week uh ben lost a sock and we went on uh an elaborate campaign to try and retrieve the sock there was a reward yeah he did find did find us? Street posters were up. We were all over social media as well.

Unfortunately, that sock, after many months, has not seemed to be found. So I've just got a single sock like many other single socks around the country. We should hold a memorial service for that sock. Maybe it's gone into hiding like bloody Michael Jackson and Tupac. You know how they say they're all living in Cuba? Yeah. Maybe your sock is with them. But yeah, as this is all playing out last week, we had a thought that, you know, in the face of adversity, you must find opportunity. That's what they say in these times.

Yeah. And we've found a business opportunity. All right. You losing a sock has sparked a brand new business idea for the radio program. Okay? Okay. You will never lose a sock again. Right.

And a shipment has just arrived from China in a very suspicious looking box. Yeah, isn't it just? We know what it is, but no one's opened this. We should have opened it and checked before. What's in here? Yeah, what are they? Do they look like what you've ordered?

We don't know because we didn't check. There's a lot of white in here. A lot of white powder or not? It does look like one of those packages that the police hold up at the press conferences and they're like, this is what we've intercepted. Found at sea, floating off the back of a cargo ship or something like that. It would be waterproof, there's that much tape around it.

Okay, so you will never lose a sock ever again. Okay. The business idea is... That John O'Prior came up with. Too late, mate. That's owned by the hits in the NZ Mean Hour. Oh, dear God. What?

Oh, dear God. Why are they like this? I told you we shouldn't have changed them. What do you mean? I told you we shouldn't have changed them. So there's been a mishap. Anyway. What's happened?

My business idea was That we have Socks that come in pairs of Pairs of three Okay Oh so three Well not really a pair But triplets Triplets

So then you lose one You've got a spare one Now each sock would have Jono, Ben and Megan written on it Why are you laughing? Yeah that's a good idea Oh dear god I've seen what's in the box

Why does it say that? Okay So that was the idea To have Ben's name on there, Megan's name on my name, three pairs of socks, no one would ever lose a sock. What did they say? They say Flavor, the radio station. Why? Why? Come on here Ellie, producer Ellie. Why did they say Flavor?

We haven't even got the right station. So Flavor have also bought some socks apparently. Oh, well these are arrived. And so there should be some in there. What? Are we sharing socks? I think we're doing it got the right station So Flavour have also bought some socks apparently Oh well these are all right And so there should be some in there What are we sharing socks

I think we're doing We're sharing socks guys Get Flavour out of the sock game I think it's communal socks These are all Flavour socks These are just two So we're giving you the wrong box Thanks for ordering some Flavour socks for me mate

Flavour the radio station We should have checked Megan You're right Guys we should have checked We'll do another opening Okay this is not how I Saw this playing out Okay this is my big moment

Come up with a great business idea It's going to be the reveal Ben was going to go Whoa three socks We're going to have hundreds To give away to listeners Now I've ordered another Radio station sock

Or we can give hundreds Away to listeners To save flavour If you really want But I feel like I'm going to take responsibility For that as the producer to give away to listeners. Well, we can. Now I've ordered another radio station's socks. Well, we can give hundreds of way to listeners to say Flavor if you really want, but I feel like... I'm going to take responsibility for that as the producer. I should have checked that.

I'm so sorry. No, you shouldn't have. It should have just been a great reveal. You didn't need to check it. We'd ordered the socks. Well, someone should tell Flavor their socks have arrived.

Okay. Okay. Well, we'll hopefully do another real... In fact, if you want a pair of socks, they don't have to be Flavor ones. Hopefully,

ours are on the way. Well, we don't know. Don't give them away yet so far. Unless you want to win some flavour socks. Just give away the flavour socks. Okay, who wants a pair of flavour socks? Oh, under the hits. 4487 as well.

Actually, you could give it to your husband for Christmas, Megan. Oh, yeah, great. Yeah, because you've got a bit of debate going on at the moment about presents in the household. Yeah, which has really annoyed me. Ethan, do you love hip-hop and R&B? I actually do. Oh, there you go. You've got two pairs of flavour socks, baby.

Oh, wicked. Thank you so much. Wait till our socks drop. They're going to change the game. When do they get into the sock game? Okay. Those socks are cool, too. They are good socks.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. How's the weekend for everyone? No, everyone looks, I'd like to say, more refreshed, but you look exactly the same as you did on Friday. No change from all of you. No doubt full of activities for Ben. Exactly. Full of activities for me, too.

Were you an activities person, were you? Yeah. What did you do? Lots of socialising. We had birthday parties. I did hot pilates yesterday. Yeah. How hot is hot pilates?

What are they cranking it up to? 23, 24? I don't know. It felt like pilates yesterday. How hot is hot pilates? What are they cranking it up to? 23, 24? I don't know. It felt like 40 degrees yesterday. Me and producer Grace did it. But we made the mistake of sitting or lying right under the heater. And I was like, man, it's hot today. What does the heat add to the experience?

It's supposed to make your metabolism go faster. It makes you sweat. Obviously, your sweat is soot in there. Makes the toxins come out of your body and stuff like that, right? Yeah. It makes your heart race, so you don't actually have to do cardio. You just hold the poses and your heart's racing. That's smart.

That's smart. Is that one of those things where they're like, girls try to avoid doing proper exercise? Yes. Yep. Pretty much. If I just hold this position and sweat, it's just like running a marathon. You should carve.

It's really hard. Yeah, it is. It's a thing. I was just saying it wasn't proper exercise. Hey, so this morning, Producer Grace surprised us as we arrived to work, right? Yeah. Accosted us with a question. First thing in the morning.

And I wasn't quite ready for the question, to be honest. I wasn't either. No. I bet you all just said me. Well, this is the thing. She had a sign. She was filming us that said if one of the show was involved in a scam on the news, who would it be? So we each got to answer as we arrived at work.

I was first, Megan second, and Jono third. Have a listen. Jono. 100% Jono. And he'd tell everyone about it. He'd be like, this is a great idea. It would be Jono. 100% Jono. Megan will say Jono. Jono. And he'd tell everyone about it. He'd be like, this is a great idea. It would be Jono. 100% Jono.

Megan will say Jono. Jono. Jono is most likely to be the news. I'm going to say Ben Boyce. Because he looks like the type of person that wouldn't. Which is the ideal scam artist. I bet everyone else said me, didn't they? I knew.

And I probably would, to be honest. I just had to choose someone else that wasn't me for years I was getting away with remember the parking at the airport oh yeah no morals on that one did you I had a credit card free parking I don't know what had happened there was a glitch in the matrix anyway

you'd go for 3-4 days in a row, sometimes a week parking, and then I'd tap my credit card. You put the parking ticket in when you arrive back, tap the credit card, and it's like, oh, this isn't working, and it would spit your ticket out

and it said, have a nice day. And then I'd check my credit card, wasn't charged. Went on for six to 12 months, and I said, Ben, I'll pay for your parking. He was like, I don't want to be involved in this. Especially at the airport. I've been arrested at the airport. Yeah, he was like, I'll pay for your parking. He was like, I don't want to be involved in this. Especially at the airport. I've been arrested at the airport. Yeah.

He was like, I'll pay the $922 for parking, thanks. So that was a great win over the parking enforcement for me. Yeah, there you go. Good scam there. We were right. Ava Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Now, Friday night, son plays basketball on a Friday night, which is a very inconvenient time at the end of the week

to be playing basketball, isn't it? Friday nights, yeah. It's a very popular time for basketball. For whatever reason. You know, like, first thing in the morning is a very popular time for rowing? Yeah. Friday nights. Friday nights, yeah. That's an unusual time. Any other night. You're right, Ben.

There's four other great nights throughout the week you can be doing this. But anyway. Even a Sunday night. Sunday night. So I pick him up Friday nights. And it was about sort of 8 o'clock. And this is a bleak reflection of my Friday night. So I'm sitting in the car and I'm a bit early. So I'm like, oh, I might as well get some, I'll just get some work done.

Okay. So I'll open up the laptop and hack away and get a jump on the next week. I find that, now you probably get that when your kids get a little older. I find a lot of my life is spent in the car, on the laptop. Amen. I find that, now you probably get that when your kids get a little older, I find a lot of my life is spent in a car, on the laptop. Amen. I'm like, sweet,

I've got a musical theatre, whatever it is, practice, I'm like, cool, I'll just hang out there and do some work, rather than drive home, drive back,

I'll just sit in the car. Yeah, so much time spent in your car. That's what you've got to look forward to. Yeah, can't wait. You get over the fact that you're looking

at a laptop in your car. Well, this is my issue. So I'm sitting there, it's pitch black darkness in the car park. And obviously the screen from the laptop's lighting up my face. The car's alight. Then I get, it's a fellow father. It's a fellow dad.

He's, oh, what are you looking at on there, mate? And I'm like, well, just emails, just some Gmail stuff, just getting ahead of next week. He's like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Accusing me of maybe looking at some less than savoury content. Now I'm thinking, if I'm going to do it. Very strange location to do it. This would not be the place.

No, in the car park of my son's basketball. I don't know why people think it. It's people walking past and I'm fully illuminated. These are shocking conditions to even begin to think about looking at that stuff. Waiting for my son to knock on the window. That would be very risky of me. And I mean, in any instance

who's looking at that in their car? You're going to do that in private, aren't you? But everyone always assumes oh, he's in his car, what's he, you know. Your neighbour said the same thing to me didn't he years ago? Knock on the window, what is he, you know. Your neighbour said the same thing to me, didn't he, years ago? Oh, that's right. Years ago.

Yeah. Boom, knock on the window, what are you looking at there, mate? I was like, oh, just some emails. He's like, I'll show you some sites. Oh, God. Very, very generous. Why were you lingering in your car outside Ben's house?

Oh, I was waiting for Ben to come out. Oh, right. He knows the Wi-Fi password. I'm actually out there most nights, actually. Rock solid Wi-Fi connection. You can park out there. The Hits all the wifi connection you can park out there the hits the Jono and Ben podcast

26 on your Monday now we have a new producer on the show Taylor obviously went off to produce some miniature human beings and now Ali has joined the program it's lovely to have you in here Ali hello thank you for having me

we haven't had an official pofari or any official welcoming ceremony I've been waiting for two weeks for this. I've been here two weeks and you haven't done anything. Welcome, welcome. Did you find the car park alright? I did, thank you. Swipe card access all good? I'm in the building. I'm here producing.

We love having you here. Thank you. I feel like initiations these days are a little bit frowned upon. We've moved on from those. Straight in. Just start doing the job. On Monday last week so uh on friday being you uh this is a very ai heavy 20 minutes on the show uh you you typed into chat gpt to roast our program and it was heartbreaking oh yeah like us just on the instagram feed alone it really got quite brutal about it so you take a picture of your instagram do you yeah yeah and you just said hey and my daughter showed me how to do it she's like roast us you know be mean

that's what you're right be mean and boy it was mean but also because it was just accurate yeah it was scarily accurate chaotic meets midlife crisis is i think how to describe the show frosted tips yeah everyone was in there yeah well Well, what am I dressing like a teenager or something? Off in the 90s. Teenage in the 90s. Like the lead singer of every indie band ever. You've stuck for like so many years without changing. It's like, we get it, dude.

It was like all the stuff. Anyway, it was good. That was fun. Now, Ellie, you've come in with a part, a sequel to this. I have because it was so accurate and so great. I thought this needs to be elevated and i thought why not use ai once again and um just make it into a roast track okay so um i've done similar to what you just did about 10 minutes ago

sorry what are the chances it's okay um but it's quite a banger and so i just wanted to play you this is now your ai roast in song form oh like a rap battle sort of it's a yeah it's quite a banger and so i just wanted to play you this is now your ai roast in song form oh like a rap battle sort of it's a yeah it's a song yeah well can i is it nicer in song form is it easier to digest i think it might be worse I like the start. Jazzy. Good vibes. Jono and Ben, you're trying too hard. World-class cringe, you're playing that card. Chaotic midlife, lost in the fray like two grown kids just wasting the day. Jono, man, what's up with that look? Still talking about your glory days just like a book.

Ben's frosted tips from way back in time, but the joke's on you. Out of your prime. Jono and Ben, it's gonna be cool. But all we see Is two men like fools Handshake fail As blitz can be You might be That QB mobile mascot

You'll see Megan, girl Are you lost in this mess? Judging the chaos You couldn't care less You're the balance Or so they say But you're just watching

the tree wreck each day still dressed like a 90s band ben's opera dad jokes hard to withstand megan's over there with her silent disdain lost in the show circling the train trying to be cool John O'Bage. Yeah, John O'Bage. Here comes the big outro. Yeah, let's go. Here we go. Bring it home. There it is. Oh, wow. That's a humbling, least you're still playing the same old game There it is Oh, wow That's humbling but also really well done

I love it too Hey, Jono, yo, hey, man You're still dressing like you're in the 90s It's actually a bit easier to digest when it's not read out It's true Catchy song form Yeah Jono and beige is so mean

What's the catchphrase too? Chaotic meets midlife crisis, I think they said. Yeah, that song is called Midlife Fools. All good. All right, well, there we go. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. And I was reading in the weekend, as did you, Megan, an article on Katy Perry's new album really got slammed, didn't it?

From Rolling Stone. It felt really mean. They gave it a one and a half star rating and said it was flat and lots of awful things. But I went into the comments and everyone was defending her, saying that was really mean too. Oh, that's good. Yeah, I just felt like it was really mean. I always thought those critics, will you go record an album, man?

Yeah, we'll take a flat and lifeless as well, yeah. I'm not going to sit here and critique an album. No, exactly. Yeah, having never made an album before myself, I'm never going to critique someone else's album. No, no. Well, you would say she turns 40 in a couple of weeks, does she, Megan? Yeah, she's got a month to go.

This is, well, welcome, Katie. Welcome. To what you think is the beginning of the end, but it's not. It's not, because on Instagram, I was fed to this lovely gentleman who looked like he was stuck in peak hour traffic or something, filming sort of like a Dalai Lama backed up on the Southern Motorway, but filming wonderful life advice. He's in his 50s, and the advice he would give his 40-year-old self.

Okay, I'm 53. Here's advice I would give my 40-year-old self. I remember turning 40 thinking, I'm old. It's advice I would give my 40-year-old self. I remember turning 40 thinking I'm old. It's over. The game is over. So I spent my 40s feeling old. What's funny is when I turned 50, it stopped. I felt very young for my age. I was shocked at how active and great I felt at 50 and how excited I was about the world. So I would go back and say, no, no, no, your 50s are going to be incredible. Spend your 40s are going to be incredible spend your 40s just like your 30s and your 20s preparing like keep getting better and keep being excited about all the things that are going to happen to you because i honestly feel like i'm 53 and i haven't peaked

yet i haven't peaked in my career i haven't peaked as a husband hasn't haven't peaked as a dad haven't even peaked at the top of my physical fitness i can still get so there you go katie perry your best album's yet to come. Wow. Isn't that nice? That's nice to hear. That's what you need on a Monday morning, don't you? Yeah,

some motivation. Keep on digging it in. You're still very young in your 40s. Still a lot of life to live, isn't there? Yeah. What do you think's been

the best year of your life, of this existence you've lived? I reckon like 30, early 30s why? because I got divorced in 70s if I'm honest

fair enough it's a good time is that a good year for you with that marked a new chapter new chapter yeah I do feel like

it does vary though you know like I like the carefree nature of the 20s when you're out you're travelling all that stuff you've got less responsibility. Honestly, you're in a nightclub and you're like,

oh, it's only 3.30 in the morning. Only 3.30. I get up at 3 in the morning now. Yeah, something good about that. I love that. But then I also love when you get older and you do. You have the kids. It's been awesome, been amazing.

And sometimes responsibilities are awesome. You get to a better stage in your career. So it really is hard to say. It is. You don't know that you're living the best year of your life when you're doing the best year of your life, do you? Yeah. And who's to say like that guy?

It hasn't happened so far. You never know. You know? Still to come. Yeah. But you all kind of hope, right? You kind of hope that you haven't... Peaked.

Peaked. It's all, otherwise that's a bleak start to your Monday. Yeah. I won't have to do that. It's okay. We'll chuck this open now. Four, four, eight, seven. What has been the greatest year of your life?

So far. So far? So far. There's still more to come. Yes, yeah. According to that guy, still to come, baby. Yeah, we've got $65 warehouse vouchers

to give away too. Well, the 65th anniversary of Barbie at the moment at the warehouse. So yeah, the greatest year of your life. Some interesting articles on it too on how your life transpires And where you're really peaking Where you're going to be the most happiest and content

Will surprise you Trish, good morning to you How's life this morning, Trish? Good morning, the decades have been kind Oh good, because we're just talking about You know what you think the greatest year of your life is Some rando American guy in a car said Well he said this, have a quick listen Okay, I'm'm 53 here's advice i would give my 40 year old self i remember

turning 40 thinking i'm old it's over the game is over so i spent my 40s feeling old what's funny is when i turned 50 it stopped i felt very young for my age i was shocked at how active and great i felt at 50 and how excited I was about the world. So I would go back and say, no, no, no, no. Your 50s are going to be incredible. Spend your 40s just like your 30s and your 20s preparing, like keep getting better and keep being excited about all the things that are going to happen to you. Because I honestly feel like I'm 53 and I haven't peaked yet. I haven't peaked in my career. I haven't peaked as a husband, haven't peaked as a dad, haven't even peaked at the top of my physical fitness.

I can still get... Ready to peak? He's still peaking. You haven't peaked as a husband. What are you waiting for? I know, that's what I was like. Your poor wife. It's coming, babe.

Honestly, I'm going to be great one day. It was great. I don't know if you could use that theory. Still to come, still to come. Maybe I should say that. Honestly, you know, the best year's still to come. I dare you to.

Yeah. Now, Trish, you've listened say that. Honestly, you know, the best year is still to come. I dare you to. Yeah. Now, Trish, you've listened to that. We're asking what's the best year of your life. Oh, look, I think his heart's in the right place. He said some great stuff. When I had to think about it, and I thought about one year, I thought about when I was 25, I'd done my uni, I was in my profession. My husband got posted overseas.

I went with him, totally fully paid by the taxpayer and had an absolutely amazing time in the UK and Europe and all of those things and it was just a carefree time, no kids and plenty of money, well in effect

plenty of money. Thanks to the taxpayer Thanks to those taxpayers That sounds like a great year That was so good Plenty of money. Well, in effect, plenty of money. Thanks to the taxpayers. Thanks to those taxpayers. That sounds very great, yeah. That was so good. Now, if you don't mind me asking, you can just sort of give it vaguely. Where are you now in life on the spectrum? Oh, yeah, grandma. Yeah, and still good?

Still peaking? Oh, so good. So much to learn. Wow. That's the thing, because, I mean, at different stages, you appreciate different things. I'm sure you now as a grandparent are like, this is amazing. You've got to stay fit, though.

Stay fit. Don't get out of exercise regime. Okay, geez, we've really hit a certain style of radio now, haven't we? Stay fit, guys. We're into stay fit. Keep your joints moving. We're going to hook you up with 65 dollars to spend at the warehouse appreciate your call let's take another one quickly yeah good on you trish faye greatest year of your life what was it

now now oh that's good to hear last few years i retired when i was 75 and then i went back to work and I love it. Oh, good on you. You rejoined the workforce. Now, how do you find this style of entertainment on this radio show at 75 years old, Faye?

I've been listening to you guys for years, so everything's on. Oh, you've had to just get used to it, OK? We've kind of bullied you into it. Well, Faye, there you go. Still back in the game

and still loving life. That's great. Thank you someone's uh written an article on this too saying the 60s gonna be the greatest decade of everyone's life isn't that when you're most happy in your 60s yeah content you've kind of for the most part set yourself up uh and now you just get to enjoy the fruits of your of your labor in your 60s. Still to come. It's all great stuff. It's all to look forward to. At least you're like, hey, she's enjoying it right now. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

It was this week, 30 years ago, that the first episode of Friends came out. Woo-wee. How's that? 30 years ago. There's a great story where I think the producers flew them all to Vegas, didn't they, before the show had started.

Oh, did they? Yeah, and I think I saw it on some E! True Hollywood story, and they were on the plane, and they said, this will be the last time you'll be able to go out in public without being recognised. And it was from that day forward. Changed all their lives forever. Totally. Yeah. Huge, iconic show.

Probably one of the biggest series of all time, right? Now, Megan. Dear Megan, this is an interesting one involving Tinder. Dear Megan. Someone slid into your DMs. Yeah, okay. I'll read it to you. It does involve Tinder.

It says, hi, guys. I was wondering if you could put this out there for a Dear Megan. I would love to hear your listeners' thoughts. My husband and I have been married for almost two years, but I noticed that he has downloaded Tinder onto his phone again. We met over Tinder, so I know he used to have a profile,

but once we got serious, we both deleted it. When I hit him up about it, he said he'd been using it to meet new friends. Seems rock solid. This is what I say. There's no argument. I know you can using it to meet new friends. Seems rock solid. This is what I say. There's no argument. I know you can use Tinder to meet friends,

but I just don't know if I believe him. Do any other guys use Tinder to meet friends? He never told me he was trying to meet new people, so I'm a little skeptical. What do you guys think? Well, technically you can. Like, yeah, technically you can use Tinder to meet friends. Here comes Switzerland. It's a controversial platform to find friends on i get why i get why she is a little bit suspicious of this if you were

if you two as men were looking to find new guy friends is tinder where you'd go it's probably not no it's probably not where I'd go but it is I would say it is I think as you get older it is harder to make friends you know so I'm not I'm not

if it is genuine intentions then I don't want to put someone down for looking for it but it's probably not the first place I would go I'd probably find

things that I was interested in and maybe go to places that other people would be for example the swingers club well yeah

or the Warriors. You know, the Warriors want to go, you know, a place that's got the Warriors on telly or things like that. Or go to a game or things like that. So we've got the diplomatic answer. Jono? Oh, look, I'm at this stage in my life where I could not handle any friends. I barely catch up with the people that I know at the moment.

I'm a terrible friend. So finding new friends is not on the agenda for me. But would I do it on Tinder? Probably not. Probably not, to be honest. Seems like it would just cause too much headache. And I feel like that would be something you'd discuss with your partner. You'd be like, I feel like I need more guy friends.

I'm going to download Tinder to try and find some guys. You know, or you'd be like, we need to go out socially. You'd discuss it with your partner, for sure. The hard thing, too, I reckon it would be harder finding a friend on Tinder because if you don't get along as friends, it's not like you're breaking up with someone that you're looking to get into a relationship with where you're like, we're not compatible,

we can't spend every day together and live together. You have to break up with a friend of like, oh, I don't think I can be bothered catching up with you three or four times a year sort of thing. Even once a week like that's a harder break up for me than a relationship one

yeah so 0800 the hits this is the question can you be in a relationship and still on tinder yeah but you know let's say for friendship purposes

I mean yeah you might have a big question mark on whether that's legit or not uh oh it's definitely not legit

it's definitely not can. It's definitely not. Can you flick it on friend mode? I think so. Can you? None of us have had Tinder. No, but you can. You can actually look for friends. I've got a looking on here.

But he would have been open about it. He did it on the slide. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. TM Megan. Someone has slid into Megan's themes again with a bit of a dilemma. Megan's, well, not buying the argument from the partner here today. You're trying to be diplomatic, but you know I'm right.

We're trying to build a case for this poor fellow. You know, trying to help a fellow. You decide. You decide. He's basically, well, these people have been married for almost two years. She has noticed that he has downloaded Tinder onto his phone. She hit him up about it and he says he's been using it to meet new friends. She is sceptical, and I think as she should be, because I don't know any adult men that would download Tinder

just to meet new guy friends. Me and Ben were trying to come up with a defence for this guy. I feel like bloody Diddy's lawyer. You're like, oh, this is a hiding to nothing, mate. You can use it for that. You can. But there's also another app called Frender which is just specifically

for that. So that would probably make a lot more sense without the connotations that maybe you're looking for a relationship. On our Facebook, this is from Jesse. He said, as a married man of two years, I've never used Tinder. I would also never use Tinder to meet new friends. There's plenty of other

ways to do that that doesn't involve a notorious hook-up app. What did you say? Frender's one. Frender. Yeah. So go on to Frender. That would solve all this. He wouldn't even be on the radio right now. We wouldn't be talking about this guy's issues on the radio. You're right. We're going to get Aaron on the phone. Welcome. Tinder.

In a relationship. If you're looking for friends, it's all above board, Aaron. What do you say? No, not at all. It's a dating app for a reason. It's not a friendship app. So, I'm with Megan. No partner would be happy with their partner on there looking for friends.

I love getting the guy's opinion on this, so I don't just sound like I'm being mean. I appreciate that, Aaron. Alright, Aaron, we're going to hook you up with $65 to spend a gift card for the warehouse. I'll do it, thank you. How did you meet your partner, Aaron? I'm through, don't net. Yeah, right.

And so you deleted it. At what stage into the relationship do you get rid of the app? Oh, pretty early on. Yeah. Is that like, do you have a conversation with each other? Is it time to delete this, put this in the bin? No, not really. I think you just delete it when the time's right, I think.

Yeah. Okay. You know when the time's right. You will know. Otherwise you'd be like, oh, you saw that. Someone's saying I go onto Grindr to look for friends. On 4487 is a text here. No way.

There's more options to make friends than Tinder. This is crazy. The friends category is just a cover, reads another text. Seems like it's going to be a landslide victory here. We're trying to build a case. It was a flimsy case.

Well, maybe, and maybe. My advice to him would be don't waste the lawyer's fees, mate. Honestly, just take the hit. Chantel. Hi. Yeah. Are you on our side? I'm with me and Logo.

Is there a small part of you that thinks maybe, maybe, just maybe it could be used for friend purposes? I would have a fit if my husband has Tinder on his phone. Yeah, me too. Especially since he never had a Tinder profile before. You'd have a fit. Me too. Yeah. Especially since he never had a Tinder profile before. I'd be like, what's that? No, I definitely agree.

He should not be having it on his phone at all. Okay. No, Ron. No, Ron. Well, listen, this is probably a foregone conclusion, really. We're going to hook you up with $65 to spend at the warehouse. Every caller that gets on the show this week will win that. Celebrating 65 years of Barbie.

Thank you so much. Do we even need a wrap up this time, Megan? Well, yeah, everyone knows it's a red flag. You're going to have to have a serious conversation with your partner because it's a dating app. And even worse, it's more like a hookup app. Really. Not that I've ever been on it.

Someone's coming with a big one here. He sounds like a narcissist. I don't know how they've landed there, but if you're having to go on Tinder and look for friends, he would not feel that comfortable if his partner was doing the same thing. Yeah, exactly.

And that's what you've got to ask yourself. That's true. Yeah, and hey, thank you so much for your calls and texts on this one. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. On the weekend, you know, talking to the dog, big fluffy white dog, bow for a walk in the

weekend, as I do most weekends. Talking for a walk and usually, you know, you guys have your dogs. Normally it's a one bag situation. Yeah. You go out, you've got yourself covered. I have my bag, all good to go. Now he went pretty early on, did his business. I picked it up.

Great. It was like early into the walk and then great walking past the bus stop where they had a council bin was going. It was working. It was like early into the walk And then great Walking past a bus stop Where they had a A council bin Was going It was working It was like great Don't have to Carry it around For the rest of the trip

Put it in the bin Disposed of that And I thought things were good Until about halfway Through our walk He was sort of You know motioning To do it again

I'm like mate You've done it You know You've had it once You know Squeeze Squeeze Outside someone's house too

You know When there's things around and I'm like, and he did his business and I'm like, oh. I've had been in that position too and you're like, no, don't, don't, don't. Like you're talking to them and then you realise they don't understand either. They're like, why was it okay before and not okay now? So he does his business now and I'm like, oh, I don't want to be that person that leaves that, you know,

because he's a large dog. It's substantial. Yeah. And so I sort of did this Panama. I don't know if anyone was listening, but I'm like, I'll come back and pick it up. You know, like, I've got to come back. Try to remember the car that was parked at the house and stuff like that.

Oh, my God, I wish I'd seen that. You know, just in case. You should have filmed yourself on your phone. Look, I said I was going to come back on camera. So I was going to look at you and go, that guy's not coming back. Look at this dog. I'll be put all over social media. So you didn't know if anyone was hearing this cry?

No, but I just wanted to send it out to the universe. I will come back. And then I walked all the way home with the dog. I'm like, I better go back. So I did. And then drove the car back. So I was like, drive the car back. Parked to the side of the road.

I'm back, everyone. I'm back, everyone. I went to pick it up. And as I did go to pick it up with the bag this time, I had my sunglasses just tucked in around the top of your shirt and just fell directly into the – The universe is supposed to be kind to you in that regard. You're like, I came back.

I could have left it there. I could have. But then you had to like fish the sunglasses. Did it get stuck inside there? A little bit. And the hinge? This is just a demoralizing thing for all of us involved. Even bad when you have to put them back on to drive the car.

So what's the lesson? I don't know what the lesson is there. Don't go back. You're right, Megan. I was trying to do a good thing. That would have looked so weird too. You see a car pull over, get out, scoop up a dog poo. Announcing he's back.

What is he doing? No dog, no dog. What's this guy collecting? He's collecting poo. And then did you put it in the bin or take it in the car with you? I took it in the car with me. You're right. It was probably weirder than the first time.

Just leave it there. He's got a weird brown substance around his eyes too, the sunglasses. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Now we just mentioned that last week we were looking for Ben's missing sock

and we came up with a business idea so no one you know losing socks would be a thing of the past and we have

pairs that come in spares so you have socks that come in threes yeah okay and if you lose

any beyond that well that's on you there's not much more we can do so you've got some socks these are the right box You've opened the right box

Now of socks Not the flavour socks Shambolic opening ceremony Just moments ago Oh yeah And so inside More shambolic Than that French one

Where they painted That guy all blue Yeah So you get Not just two You get three socks They've got The white socks

They've got the Hitz logo All on one side And then on the inside You've got a Jono sock A Ben sock And a Megan sock So they come in threes So do you have to Decide each morning What you're going too sock, a Ben sock and a Megan sock. So they come in threes. So do you have to decide

each morning what you're going to... Yeah, you can wear a Ben and a Megan or you can wear a Jono and a Megan or a Jono and a Ben, whatever.

You know your options but if you lose one you've still got... A spear! Yeah. Pears that come with spears. Amazing. It works well.

If you want some socks... Limited edition. Very limited. Yeah, exclusive. You can text 4487. But there might be, if you get hold of these, there might be some special things coming up. Ben's just, during the song, he's like,

he's got big plans for these socks. Yeah. Tell you what. Okay. He's talking a festival and everything. Next year. Wait, next year. Socktober is going to be huge, guys.

But I tell you what's a bit of an issue in your household at the moment is 93 days out from Christmas. Although you say that, and I saw farmers have put up their Christmas decoration display. That's a good gauge. So you're already talking about it in your household. You love Christmas. We like to be very prepped. First of November, Christmas tree goes up, and I like to space out my Christmas shopping.

So I kind of start looking now, especially at the moment, because, you know, cost of living, et cetera. So I said to my husband, I was like, of recent years, we've started to set a limit so that we each stick to it. But this year he was like, you know, times are tough. He was pitching no presents for us. And I was like, wait, what do I open on Christmas morning? And he was like, no, we don't need presents. It's about the joy of watching the kids open something. It's a great argument that Andrew Pappas has come out with, and he's not springing this on you three days out. He's given you time to roll through the series of emotions, the

anger, the frustration, and eventually you'll come to terms with it. Yeah, but I didn't realise how invested I was into the presents. I was like, oh, you know, Christmas isn't about presents, it's about all the other stuff in the lead up. Sure, but now I realise if I don't get a present on Christmas Day, I don't know, it just doesn't feel like Christmas. But then is this one of these things you fell into this trap

you had a no present policy one year I stuck to it my wife didn't she was like I just saw one thing I was like no you didn't no he will stick to it

he will if he said it he's going to stick to it so the next time we did it I'm like we need to stick to this because otherwise I feel awkward it's like oh

I've just seen one thing you listened I was like we had an agreement and all the family are like oh that's so nice to Amanda. I'm like, no, it's not. Yeah, you feel bad. Put me on the spot.

You feel bad not having a present for her. But at least you got to open something. If I got him a present and he had to get me one, I'd be so annoyed. Well, one of the joys about being a radio host is you can solve your private issues on this very public platform and we can throw it out to the audience. 0800, that's the telephone number. Okay, the People's Court is open. Whose side are you on here?

Megan or Andrews? I was like, oh, we could even set a limit of like 50 bucks each, you know? And then, like, it's up to you. You could be, like, creative with it. You could make something as well. But, like, you set a limit, sure. But, like, no presents? The People's Court is open.

Okay. You decide whether Megan gets presents this Christmas. This is on you. With great power comes great responsibility. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. Megan's already counting down to not only daylight savings this coming weekend, but to Christmas.

They're already having Christmas conversations or competitions. Well, that too. We usually set ourselves a limit for Christmas presents, me and my husband, but this year he's pitched no presents. Cost of living, et cetera. Have you done that one where we all buy a present for the adults? We did that a couple of years ago, so everyone just buys one gift. We do that with the extended family.

We have a secret Santa where we all buy one present. But then you can steal off other people. It's quite good. Oh, no, I don't like that. Oh, that's a savage format. So you open that, you're like, oh, I'll open that one, and then afterwards I'm like, oh, no, God. Okay, you either take their present or open a new one.

It was kind of a thing, yeah. Feels like that could create quite a tense Christmas day. It does. We did that at a staff party once, and everyone was trying to snatch the money off some, remember? Yeah. So 800 Hits, you decide whether Megan gets presents this Christmas. Are you on Team Andrew, her husband

Or team Megan? Any tips you've got on how to like Navigate this I did pitch $50 limit But he's still not keen for that What I like is the foresight from him He's given you enough time to mentally prepare yourself For zero presents

And I mean what more do you want? You've got the world's most perfect husband Okay That's a present in itself He's clearly not perfect Because he's pitching no presents. But he's thinking of the overall cost of the household.

Kim. Hiya. Hiya. Presents or no presents for in the Pappas household this Christmas? Oh, I'm definitely with Megan. Yes. It's the thoughtfulness behind it, right?

And even if you guys did vouchers for each other for a really nice experience or something you do together as a family oh like a

coffee club coffee club 10 for one loyalty voucher I don't think that's what Kim was meaning nice experience

how about a child free date night to go to the coffee club yeah just go to the coffee club good on you Kim appreciate that since you're on air too thanks to the coffee club. Yes. Yeah, just go to the coffee club. Good on you, Kim.

Appreciate that. Since you're on air too, thanks to the warehouse, they're celebrating Barbie's 65th anniversary. We're going to give you $65 to spend at the warehouse. Oh, yay.

I can start my Christmas shopping. You can? Yeah. But can Andrew and Megan? That's the big question right now. It's the people's court this morning. We're going to get Carissa on. Welcome. Have I got Carissa or

Naomi here? Carissa. I'm Carissa. Lovely to have you on, Carissa. Are they having presents in Megan's household this Christmas? Yes, I think it's a good idea. Even if you set the limit, it's good for the kids' perspective as well to see adults getting presents.

Do the kids really care, you think? The kids, are they so focused on their presents? Yeah. It's a good thing for them to learn that they're not the only ones getting presents, that they can help give presents to the adults. That's true. See, I'm being a good parent by asking for presents. Not everyone's on your side, though.

I'm on Andrew's side. Christmas is for the kids. As you get older, you should just be grateful to have a roof over your head. Just to still be here. Oh, you're right. Still here. You're grateful that roof at home? Yeah, yeah.

Is that my husband? I think it was his number, actually. Thank you so much for your calls and texts. Well, let's take one more The Decider. Let's get Naomi on.

How are you, Naomi? Hello. The People's Court is open. Is Megan getting Christmas presents this year? No. Team Andrew. 100%.

Team Andrew. I can sense the South African accent as well. He's South African. There's some sort of bond there. You're in cahoots. Bonded over Biltong. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely.

No, we haven't done Christmas presents for years. It's all about the kids, really. You know, we make birthdays special by... Well, do that too, Naomi. You're grateful for the roof over your head, mate? No, I mean, if it's really a big deal, what we do, what we started doing is friends and family, and we get the kids involved as well, and do Secret Santa. Oh, that's awesome.

But we make a little list and five things that you would want with a limit and the kids save up as well so um they get to buy for whoever and you know we do that so no definitely team andrew okay team andrew what about no presents for friends and family and just for me? The hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. We like to play the internet outrage game. We each find a story on the internet and then we try and guess why there was outrage. And I was going to, I'll kick things off. Megan, you've been talking about my one all morning.

I found this great story in the weekend. Is that what you're outraged about? Yeah, I'm outraged because you talked my story about outrage. But fair enough, it's become news. It's become big news right now. A zoo over in China were painting dogs to look like pandas. As panda bear cubs. A chow chow dog, the big

fluffy white ones. They look very adorable. What paint do you use? Because you wouldn't want the water-based job, because if it rains, then they start dripping. So you definitely have to opt for a spray paint or some animal-friendly paint there. How long will they be getting away with this for?

Well, now people have complained and now they've said, oh, they're panda dogs. They really do look like little pandas, though. Are they cute? They're pretty cute. What's the outrage then? Well, I don't know. Because people thought they were.

They're saying they're pandas. It does. We'll put a picture up Saying they're pandas. It does. We'll put a picture up on the Hitspeak for social. They're pretty cute. They are pretty cute. But then the dogs, obviously, like we were just talking moments ago about the dog, when nature calls, they obviously have a certain style

that if you see a panda cocking a leg or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We could do this to Beau, your dog. Well, we could, yeah. I don't know if it's okay to be painting animals up. So the internet's outraged over the painting of dogs. Yeah, I can understand. Yeah.

I can understand where that comes from. So that's my one today, so we'll move on from mine. It's a volatile ecosystem of misinformation and outrage and a lot of naked people too on the internet too. Well, this doesn't have anything to do with nudity. My one has a boss texting a worker while on holiday. What? And the internet's outraged that this is her annual leave,

leave her alone. I think I saw this. Also the text that they sent. Yes, I did see this. I saw this over the weekend. There was a message while on holiday and it was kind of like it was an unnecessary message that would cause a lot of anxiety, right?

You two, like when you're on weekends and holidays, you're still like doing texts and work and stuff. So I don't think like necessarily would have got you guys, you work all the time, but it was what the text said. Yeah, yeah. What did the text say? Read the text out. We had a visit from the area manager.

So this is the boss to the worker on holiday. We had a visit from the area manager, and he's pissed about to the worker on holiday. We had a visit from the area manager and he's pissed about our figures. I think we're going to have some really tough meetings when you get back. Don't worry about it right now. Don't worry about it right now. It's going to be, when you come back, it's going to be tough. Don't be prepared. I'll just worry about it the whole rest of my holiday.

Enjoy your holiday. Thanks for that. I love it. That's just a boss going, this is too much for me to hold on to. I've got to palm this off onto someone else. He literally said,

don't worry about it while you're on your break. So, well, worry me about it. Yeah. Okay, my outrage simply is the internet is outraged but also divided

over a lady buying her husband a gift. Have a think. So, a lady bought her husband a gift. And he was ungrateful for it. What would he not have liked? Was it what the gift was?

Yes. He was driving to have a day of golf with his friends. She was going out for lunch with her friends. She's like, you better come home. I bought you a gift. And the gift was he had to go to the hardware store and pick up a barbecue that she had bought that he needed to assemble for dinner that night.

And he's like, this is not a good idea. This is not a good idea. That's pretty clever. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Yeah, on the loose over the weekend in the Christchurch suburb of Haweswell. Shocking residences that were running through backyards and across roads

and stuff. Oh dear. Literally, oh dear. That was the best I had. They're quite big deer too very big deer um but i think back into the wilderness now that's good halls well at eden as well yeah i think that's that's right what a lovely ending to that story yeah uh you know terms and conditions so when you're downloading an app has anyone in the history of downloading anything ever read the terms and conditions or you've just blindly gone, I agree to everything that's in here? Sometimes I feel like when people make you sign it at places,

I feel pressure for some reason. I just pretend. I pretend to read it. They're like, oh, it's well-read. You don't know what you're signing. You honestly have no idea what you've just clicked to agree to. It could be babysitting duties for the next 10 years whenever anyone calls you. But I was doing the same thing.

I was downloading an AI website over the weekend. Pretender for friends. Pretender, yeah. I agree to everything. But then I was like, oh, there's pages and pages of terms and conditions here. And I just clicked I agree. I don't care. I don's pages and pages of terms and conditions here. And I just clicked, I agree. I don't care.

I don't care what information they have on my phone. I don't care. I don't care. And I should care. So then I ended up writing a song about terms and conditions and then put it into the AI website after this terms and conditions. It was at the inception of terms and conditions. Yeah, it's very meta, isn't it? You've really gone deep

Have a listen to what it spat out This was in about 90 seconds it came back with this, okay? Okay T's and C's, let's cut to the chase and click, I agree. I don't care if China tracks me, hacks me, just throw your rap at me. So many rules for your license agreement, but you and me both know I won't read them. It's a bang up. It sounds good. Right to the chorus.

Hey, sever and free, I offer my kidney as an insurance policy. There's 100,000 words in Apple's conditions. You could spend six months in federal prison. Terms and conditions, I give my permission. TFTs and your Cs, I've read none of these. But free, yes, yes, yes, to your policies. Terms and conditions, click yes to circum policies. Terms and conditions. Click yes to circumcision. They really nailed the chorus, didn't they?

When you tease and you seize, just watch at GPT. I'm up to page 23 and only halfway through your T's and C's. Sounded quite robotic at the start, but amazing when you got to the chorus. It was like, wow. 90 seconds it came back with. Yeah. Crazy. That's a top 50 hit

That sounds like Taylor Swift or Miley Cyrus Mashed up If I was an artist I'd just type my lyrics into chat GPT And go that's a great melody and just do that And then sing that Yeah but you never know where it's got it from I guess is the thing

Crazy isn't it You're saying the other day Because it's taking from everything else, so then, you know, who's to know? Has it plagiarised? Oh, that's exactly my song. You're like,

oh, I didn't know that. Terms and conditions. I was playing that to the kids and I was like, look at this. This is amazing. I was waking the kids up yesterday morning

and they were very unfazed by the whole thing. But to us, this is mind blowing. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Very excited. The Auckland FC, the new football team,

are going to be playing in the A-League very shortly. There'll be the Phoenix out of Wellington and all the Auckland FC, the Black Knights, out of Auckland. And we're very excited about it. We're getting behind it here at The Hits. Yeah. And Matty and PJ, I don't know if you've seen this on social media, they have tasked themselves with coming up with a move like a celebratory move something like what

the players and the crowd can do yeah have a listen guys uh so all going fc are looking for a new move that people can pull out at the game and we need to come up with some suggestions yeah they want this to basically unite everyone that goes to the game with one simple move. Now, we can't leave this in the hands of PJ. We can't leave her to organise a move. She couldn't even organise herself to get to the airport on Friday. She had to drive six hours to where she needed to be broadcasting from.

She missed her flight. She missed her flight. So can we leave this on PJ's shoulders? No. To come up with a move. Because you know, the Wellington Phoenix, they've got tops off, wave them around their head, don't they? Yeah, they sort of get their tops off at some stage in the game. Very brave

in those blistery conditions in Wellington too. Very cold. So I think we can do better than that. If you want to be part of football history, of course, you can get tickets to the Auckland FC's first season. It's on sale now. Very excited about that. The opener, October 19th. All the details at aucklandfc.co.nz but you're right we need to come up with some sort of move like a celebratory move what's the one

that all the kids do with uh ronaldo's uh oh is it the move yeah and i see some sort of move yeah we sort of i'm gonna sound like very out of touch here isn't when he's sliding on there on there on the knees this one does that um arm thing down from up to down. Yeah. That's kind of like a cool move. It starts with the S. The Ronaldo chop.

Yeah. Someone's called it. Yeah, but I think it's got another name for it. The Sue. Yeah, Sue. I thought it was

something to do with S but I don't know. Yeah. I feel like I'd dive down on my knees and just face plant rather than like skid. There was one that football

yes and the turf was quite hard and did the same thing, and I think he dislocated a kneecap. He's celebrating because he stopped. Who, Renato did? No, not Renato. It was another player trying to do the slide. You want to check the conditions, don't you? Yeah, but that's not cool.

We had to just check the grass. Okay, good to slide. Now I can slide in. Even pre-game, just check the durability of the grass. So, I mean, we're going to come up with a move. What could you do? What about a nice, classy, understated handshake? Well done.

Congratulations. Oh, the crowd do it. The players do it. Just a good, solid handshake. Nothing, you know. Everyone knows what they're doing. Takes it away from the excitement of the moment. But we all know what we're doing.

High five. High fives are too risky for white people. Hands and faces. Mistimed. Handshakes. Handshakes the winner so far. They score a goal. Handshake.

The crowd. Handshake. Very polite, the Auckland FC fans. So you can test 4487. Have you got any ideas for a move? I mean, you could do the Sky Tower, couldn't you? That's very Auckland. Something Auckland would be quite cool.

Like a big needle that kind of injects the other players. Yeah, you could do the Sky Tower, couldn't you? That's very awesome. Something Auckland would be quite cool. Like a big needle that kind of injects the other players. Yeah, you could do like two people. You stand up real straight and the other person hug you around

the middle, like to make the middle bit like that. A nightmare for the fans in the stand. Yeah, true. Great if you score a goal though.

I'd love to see a Sky Tower, wouldn't it? That'd be nice. What about a dance battle? Dance battle. Oh yeah.

They challenge the opposition to a dance battle. Everyone in the opposition to a dance battle. Everyone in the stadium's having to do ray gun. Yeah. Well, true, you could do ray gun because the gritty. He's very Australian, though. Is there a New Zealand version of ray gun?

The gritty took off in the American football, you know? The snake? Yeah. For New Zealand. Come on, mate. Well, no, isn't that? No, or the caterpillar. Yeah.

The kiwi would just go hide. Just cower. Everyone cowers away. Run away and hide. Where is it? Loud noises freak us out, that sort of thing.