Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL SHOW: Are we getting scammed???

Episode Date: July 23, 2025

On today’s show: Please note this episode has some graphic stories. If you’re squeamish or eating, you might want to skip ahead. Listener discretion advised. Jono has magic shoes! The website that saved Ben's marriage When you thought you got scammed... Why Megan's son has turned bogan Instagram: @THEHITSBREAKFASTFacebook: The Hits Breakfast with Jono, Ben & MeganSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The John O'Bannon Megan podcast, thanks to HelloFresh, your home advantage for delicious midweek dinners everyone will love. Welcome to the podcast. Great, great, great. It's a great podcast going on. And then I was like, oh, that sounds a little Trump-esque. Tremendous. Tremendous. Great, great, great show today. One of the greatest ever.

We actually got talking about, you know, the little lines that you use to explain how to spell your name. It could be your first or last name. A lot of people have a common phrase that they will use and we have plenty of text. Yeah, we talked to a cloager and she's like the little green gremlin of Star Wars, like that but cloader. Yeah. You're like, oh yeah great.

It makes sense, right? We've got a couple more texts that we should be, should we give them a call now? Cathy, lovely to have you on. Hi, Vittorio, how are you? Listen, we're doing should give them a call now. Kathy, lovely to have you on. Hi Jono, how are you? Listen, we're doing well. We're doing well. What's the byline when you give your name over Kathy? All right, my surname is Fandam. And then first of all, it's like, Oh, are you related? I'll say yeah, I'm married to the

handsome brother. John Claude. People say okay. And then you look yourself up and they can't spell it. So it's either S or P-H, but it's actually F for Freddy, A for Apple, N for Nilly, D for Damn, A for Apple, M for Momma. Oh, Fandam. Exactly.

Not Van Dam. Not Van Dam, yeah. You can also go, it's just like, it's Van Dam,, but Van Damme, oh no, I think you're doing a good job. Yeah, yeah, no, you're doing a good job. She's had it her whole life, I think she's figured out how to get it.

Yeah, how to get people to understand the name. You're right. It's been 30 years that I've been married, and they've done a couple of Van Dammes with a F, so yeah, a dying breed. It's a good name, it's a good name. Fandem isn't it? Demands respect. Good on you Cathy. Have a good one. Masculine. Welcome. Yeah, it's Macasculine.

Macasculine. It was like masculine or mesculine. Yeah. Well, this is why you, so what do you say when you introducing yourself or getting someone to write it down? When I go to Starbucks, I just say Mac, because they always spell it wrong. But I'm always given a Mac. Yeah, well Mac I suppose is it. That's cute.

Yeah, that's cute. I like that. So listen, I'm sorry, I'm terrible and that's just old age, I've completely forgotten how to pronounce your name properly. Macasslin. Macasslin. Yeah. What's the background on that Macasslin?

It's my nana's maiden name, but because it used to be McCaslin because it's Scottish. Oh that's a cool name. It's really unique. I love it. Thank you for sharing that with us Mac. Thanks Mac. Enjoy the rest of the podcast. As I said before it's great, great, great, great, great. We'll kick it off with Jono's magic slides. Jono, Ben and Megan. The Podcast. The Hats. Speaking of cold and the winter months, I make no bones about it.

I love going online and buying knock-off products. One of my favourite hobbies. Problem is that you have some huge ones, huge ones, and then you have some terrible losses. I spoke the other week of buying a jacket for my son that smelled like a wet dog had been shaved and the dog's hair had been inserted inside the puffer jacket. And your $20 Rolex that fell apart. It didn't see it through the day. Not even one day.

No one's believing you have a Rolex either. You went too high. It did. You're right. What a terrible addiction. My addiction is buying knock-off products. Knock-off products. And if you put together all the money that you've wasted on the knock off she probably

could have bought a Rolex. Anyway I was on the site and I was like oh there's some nice, it was going into summer there's some nice slides, affordable slides and they were rubber and I was like okay I'll get those. They were like 15 bucks landed and they turned up. They did me well through the 2025 summer months. OK, made it. You think with slides, you'd be pretty safe to, you know?

Yeah. You'd imagine so. You're not screwing up slides too much. Yeah, it's a low-impact product. Yeah. And then two days ago, I was like, oh, I just need to go out to put some rubbish in the bin. It was wet on the ground.

I was like, oh, go and grab my slides. I couldn't be bothered putting shoes on and tying laces so we went and put the slides on I went oh dear god my toes are hanging over the the edge of the slide Oh you got cliff hangers! Cliff hangers! They're abseiling down the front of the slides. And then I've gone, what has happened to these? Have my feet grown? What has gone on? So I hopped online and looked at some of the buyer feedback.

Which Megan always says you should do when you buy. Before you buy it. Look at the reviews. And some of the top comments were these slides shrink during the winter months. They kind of go into hibernation over the winter months and then throughout summer they will then expand through the heat expand back to the size they need. What are they made of? That's what I'm thinking. What am I walking around on? And what poor people are in a factory with this material? Yeah. But then that's kind of okay right? Because the normal size when you need them, then they're shrinking when you need them. Roll around December

Jan, they'll be those. Come out of hibernation and you know be size 11 again. Unusual thing, someone I saw the other day who works in the building, she posted a thing, she brought her son something online. One of the arms was like 12 centimeters longer than the other thing on the shirt. What? Yeah, it was like she measured it out, it was like 24 centimeters and the other one was 12 centimeters for the yugs. It just really like got it horribly wrong in the factory.

And let's be honest, sometimes like what you're paying for it, that's not much point sending it back. The palaver of sending it back. No, no. Well that's, I mean the factory's like, hey, you're already getting this for $19. Why don't you finish off? You know, the alteration. You can short the arm a little bit.

$19, I'm pretty sure you could have gotten some decent ones here for that. Yeah, probably. You got scissors, you can cut the sleeves shorter. It's not all on us. Jono, Ben and Megan. The Podcast. The Hats. Morning, I just want to give a quick shout out to some hero on YouTube who's managed to solve something that's become a bit of a sticking point

in my relationship with my wife, Amanda. What's going on? Well, you know, long story short, I've ended up filming quite a bit of stuff over the weekends at home on the phone with the kids and stupid costumes, things like that. And my poor wife, she is the camera operator. She's like, I didn't ask for this job. This wasn't in the marriage vows. You also filmed me for social content.

Yeah, and one of the things that she does, and she does, bless if she does, she comes out and she'll do it, but then one of the things that sometimes she does is hit the slow-mo instead of the video. And nothing more frustrating when you film something and you're like, this is good. And have a look and I'm like, starts off and then it goes... something you can read and have a look and I'm like starts off and then it goes and I'm like oh god it's slo-mo. It's slo-mo. I don't know what monster put those things to each other in a defence thing. She's like this is an unpaid gig. What do you expect? I can't go oh what are you, I'm like oh god we're gonna have to do that again. I can't do that again. I don't know how we'll do it. But now I've looked on YouTube there is a way you can get it back to normal speed.

To fast forward it. Oh, jeez. Yeah, there is. I found it last night and jeez, because I was almost able to find a new wife slash camera operator. She's like, I didn't sign up for this, watching you in a road cone costume or something, or dresses or a baboomoo or something. And you're like, yeah, but yeah, so there you go. So thank you.

I just want to say shout out to that legend who helped me through, you know. I can stop abusing my wife in public. You should message that legend and go, you don't know how much you've just saved my marriage. Saved my marriage. Also, stopping filming would probably save my marriage as well, actually. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The Hits.

When you didn't realise that you hurt yourself. Sometimes it takes a little bit, right? Yeah, I cut my finger yesterday. I put my hand down in a container and there was a blade from the blender sticking up, but I didn't realise that it had cut my thumb. I'm going to stop you there because your story pales in comparison to this one. Oh, okay. I'm like, I'm listening to this one. Well, you asked and so I was like, oh my god, I didn't realise it had cut my hand.

I'm listening to Eddie's check there. Cut all my thumb. You're great, you're right. You drew blood. I'm like, I'm listening to this stuff. Well you asked, and so I was like, oh my god, I didn't realise I'd cut my hands. I'm listening to Eddie's check out. He's like, you lost it. I cut off my thumb. You're great, you're right. You know how they do that?

That stuff with test audiences and the worm just goes flat, it just went. Oh, only because I know it, that's an amazing story. Yeah, now yeah. You asked. Yeah, Callum's gonna kick things off this morning. Now what happened to you? I was surfing down in the Catlin. It was early in the morning, my partner Andrea who's here was still sleeping in the boot of the car and I jumped off a wave and it's hard to explain but the board was under the water and I was standing in shallow water and it caused the board to rocket back at my head and the center fin went under my top lip and it like surgically lifted my nose up and

off my face. They thought it was me gliving off the maxilla. I had like this hole going under my top lip and up and into my head And at the time it wasn't sore or painful or anything. And I went in, there's blood everywhere. And there was a lady taking a photo of the sunrise in the shadows. And I was running out. She's like, You're like, I think I've hurt myself.

She's like, yeah, you have. Your nose is half off your face. And she's backing away from me. And I'm like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I need help. And she's like, no, you have your nose is half off your face. And she's backing away from me and I'm like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I need help. And she's like, no, it's OK. I'm a dog, yes, or a nurse or something. It was a bit of a dream come true. Like, don't back away from me then. Come here.

Yeah, come here. She takes me out to the car and we wake up my partner, Andrea, who's in a world of shock because I'm covered in blood. And they patched up my partner Andrea who's in a world of shock because I'm covered in blood and they patched up my nose and then and my mouth the bleeding sort of stopped and then we're sitting there and I'm kind of thinking I'm gonna be surfing that afternoon and it's not that bad and I've just cut my mouth or something and then another surfer comes and he's also a doctor and he's like let me take a look and they lie me down on my back and there's about 10 surfers standing around and they lift up the top lip and everyone just gasps and freaks out and he's like bro you need to go to the hospital now. Oh my god your nose wasn't

attached to your face. So it's just like your nose is just resting on your... Yeah like it's... You know if you lift up your top lip there's like a little flap of skin there. Yeah yeah yeah. Oh god. Like that was all gone. Oh so okay so they managed to put your nose like Mr. Potato Head, they got your nose back in the right position? Yeah that's different. My smile is slightly different and if I shake my head I can feel my nose wobbling around more.

Really? And but apart from that can you like, can you smell? slightly different and if I shake my head I can feel my nose wobbling around more. Really? But apart from that can you like, can you smell? Like is it all kind of work like it used to? It's sweet, yeah. The only, there's a chance that my front teeth could die eventually if the root canal's been damaged I think. Gotcha. And so blowing your nose and all that sort of thing. What about sneezing? Are you like, woo that was a big one.

It's as if I'm like running or like I lean over the floor and I can really feel like sort of numb and it feels like it jiggles around a little more. I reckon that would be a first and probably a last in the world of injuries. It's very unique. It had to happen like that too right? Yeah. Yeah it's very unique. Very unique. Do you still surf? Yeah, yeah. I was back in the water about four weeks after and it definitely shook me out. Like it took me a while to sort of get my confidence back. But yeah, I'm surfing a lot. That is a traumatic story.

That's what everyone wants to say when your lips are bleeding and you're like ouch. And then everyone looks at you and goes GASP You're like oh god Yeah it was quite funny That is, yeah well hey listen thank you so much for sharing that and I'm glad you're okay Hey nice to meet you Good on you mate, thanks Kellen Okay so when you didn't realise you'd hurt yourself

Sometimes it hurts so much you don't even know like when I put my finger on that blade I was like OUCH Again the blade story Sometimes it hurts so much you don't even know like when I put my finger on that blade The blade story Come off the back of that story John O Ben and Megan the podcast the hats when you didn't realize you'd hurt yourself. Yes some great texts coming through We just spoke to to Calum horrific surfing injury Which it wasn't actually surfing at the time just pushing a surfboard out bounce back into his face and his nose no longer attached to his face. That's the shortened version of it but a great techs here. I was a child did a flip off the bunk bed, champagne stuff. When you're a kid you really don't

you don't worry about consequences do you? No. Flipping off a bunk bed seems like an achievable task but yeah four days, my arm was broken. I had no idea, says Sarah. Wow. Think about kids, they don't realise stuff. I think I had a, I think I was a mate, or it might have been a news story, one of the two. Had a, you know, the micro machine cars stuck up his nose for weeks. What? Might have been a news story, actually. I remember that as a friend. Yeah, and they

don't notice stuff. The doctor has to pull it out with tweezers. Janay with us, happy Thursday. Good morning, how are you guys doing? We're doing well. Did you hear Callum's horrific... I did. What do you think? I did. Man I definitely don't want that happening to me. No, no. So when you didn't know you injured yourself Janay? So this was actually my dad a couple of years ago. They moved into a house and they were busy, my dad was busy hanging doors and he wanted to plane a little piece of wood that he could use as a wedge to go under the door to get the height and everything.

And he was holding the piece of wood in his hand and he was playing with the electric plane and the next minute there was just blood all over the place and he switched off and he had his pointing finger on his left hand he had planed half of it off. Every time radio does this I don't like it. No, blood ran cold. Did you hear about when Megan put her hand in a blender though and cut herself a little bit? I put it on a blade.

Okay. Put her hand in the blender but yeah, god. Jeez, that's yeah. So did they reattach what came off? Oh no, they had to, half of his finger's gone. I suppose you could... They like grated it off, how's he gonna get that back on? Smooth it out with the plane. I guess couldn't even

Round off the edges that is a poor cheese, you know. Hey, thank you so much for your call. Appreciate it Well, yeah, yeah, I get no we asked for it. We did it on us guys. It's on us. Good on you today Have a good day Brendan morning to you. Welcome to New Zealand's breakfast morning guys. How are we great to have you? Yeah, we're doing well mates.. It's lovely to have you on. This was a cricket injury, so Ben, you'll be invested. Ha ha, cricket, you got me. All right, what happened? Yeah, so it was a normal club satellite game

a few years ago now. So we're second over in, we're fielding brand new ball. So I'd like to let it with the brand new on it. So took a absolute beautiful sky high catch near the boundary and they're not very easy to get the best on. I know that's tough. So yeah took it and I was just absolutely like celebrating like running around like woohoo and then as I put my arms down the guys are like your hands are bleeding like what because as I caught it felt nothing right so put my hands down and then they said are you bleeding so I went to go look at my finger where it's bleeding literally

it split the webbing so I could see right inside my finger so I didn't feel nothing when the catch when I caught it I just felt like a normal catch but obviously the new leather it split split right in my fingers. Now this is on cricket. Why do they have to play with a rock? It is a very hard ball, you're right. Play with a nice soft ball. It wasn't a celebratory catch that ended up at the A&E very quickly to get some stitching. Oh jeez, yeah, spitting the webbing.

I was not gutted about missing. And Ben, would you like to know the final result of the game? Yeah, what happened at the end of the game? Um, I actually don't remember to this point. I went back, to be honest, I went back for it. I think we won it. But I went back near the end of the game. But yeah, it was just the whole initial shock of, oh, you're bleeding.

Oh, pretty sure you're not supposed to see the side of your fingers. Oh, that's a well, if you get your hands on the score sheet, make sure you send that through to Ben, he'd like to read through that. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hit. My son has inadvertently, because I love Formula One so much, he's like invested now in Max for

Steppen, who is the world champion at the moment. Well, he's not my favourite, so I also don't know how that's happened. Right. But he is obsessed with everything Max. He finds places on, in the world that start with Max and puts them on my phone in the weather app. So I've got all these countries and cities and stuff that. What country start with Max?

Maxilla, Maxi. Oh right, I was like, I couldn't think of any either. There's a lot, it turns out. So he's gonna spend the next three minutes trying to think of a country that starts with Max. I've never heard of them before. But he has got a new one. So he usually yells out Formula One drivers,

but now he was playing with trucks at a playground. He was like racing these trucks and he starts like yelling out, "'Shame being Zinman!' And I'm like, "'Who?' "'Sh Shane Bang Nismanah and I'm like what are you saying and he was like it's a racing driver I was like Shane Bang Nismanah so somehow he has got on to Shane Bang Gisburgans, he's a New Zealand driver. Oh, I see. For NASCAR. He used to be V8s for many years.

Yeah, yeah. The Giz. Yeah, so how does he know about that? No idea. Because you love Formula 1, but have you stretched the NASCAR? Exclusively. I don't know. He knew the first thing about NASCAR.

Maybe he just hears you in the middle of the night, calling out Liam Lawson's name in your dreams. And he's like, oh, this must be the norm in this house. Stay away, Shane Bang Gisburg. Hope I'm not calling out, this must be the norm in this household. Stay away Shane, Shane Baggisberg. Hope I'm not calling out Liam Lawson. But yeah, I have no idea where he's got this from. Same as like, he's like an internal bogan that's just like, he's ready to be unleashed.

It's just come out of his genes because he sings like Guns N' Roses and ACDC and we don't play that at home. He's vaping, he's doing burnouts in the cul-de-sac. I know, it's just like this wild little tiny bogan. And now he's like Shane Van Gans bogan. I'm like I have no idea how you know who that is. How are you gonna handle that in your household if that happens? You gonna embrace the bogue? He's also said I wanna play rugby and I was like,

oh god. We don't play rugby. We don't watch rugby either, not really. I want to play rugby. And I was like, oh God. We don't play rugby. We don't watch rugby either. Not really. I'm watching Formula One. We could get into rugby. It's Ripper rugby for a number of years. This is like-

He can deal with the CTEs later in life. I literally don't know how to bring up this bogan. Just so you know, Mexico could be an option. Mexico, Mexico. Oh, right. That's the streets, but all right. Macedonia, Macedonia. But these are not actual place names. No, I that's the streets, but alright. Yeah. Max-a-donia, Macedonia. But these are not actual places.

No, no, I'm just trying to crowbar them. Macau, that's the region of China. Right. Yeah, Mexico's the best I could probably... Yeah, they're not actual places though. No, no, they're not. So there we go. Jono, Ben and Megan.

The podcast. The hats. Yeah, I see cold one right around the country, particularly in the South. But these days I feel like we're all on alert and for, you know, for good reason, because there's a lot of people trying to scam us. Trust is gone. The trust is gone. You know, there was a moment in time where I just watch a video on TikTok and then spout

it off as a proper actual fact on the radio. Yeah, that time was last week. Times have changed since then. A week later he's a different person. Different man. Change man. Yeah, but you're right. That time was last week. Times have changed since then. A week later he's a different person. A different man. And now you are so wary of everything.

You know, a lot of things just coming through. You're like, is this a scam? Is this not a scam? Because you don't want to be that idiot that gets caught out. I had messages coming through on WhatsApp from a courier company saying, your package, we need to get in contact with the package. And I'm like, scam. Just left it, just ignored it. A few messages came through and it looked like they had the little logo, We need to get in contact with the package. And I'm like, scam. Good one. Scam. Scam. Just left it, just ignored it.

A few messages came through. And it looked like they had the little logo, the picture and stuff of the courier company. I'm like, but still. They're very convincing nowadays. You're right. WhatsApp. Yeah, WhatsApp. Yeah, that was the thing, WhatsApp.

And then finally I get a call. For once I answered the phone and they're like, hey, we're actually from the courier company. We're trying to get in touch with you. And then they realize, and I was like, sounds like a scam. And then she said, yes, we get that. But then she repeated the package that I actually had been waiting on. I was like, oh, for once it wasn't a scam. But she did say that they get quite a lot because they contact people on WhatsApp.

So you got your black market kidneys from the dark one. I did, yeah. They landed. Yeah, the product wasn't legit. But the way they got in touch with me was. That must be the bane of the courier's life now, that no one believes anything that they say. Maybe move from WhatsApp then.

That's why text is not really there. Well that's the thing, you get a text as well, you still think it's a scam, right? Honestly, I was at the same thing, I told you guys a couple of months ago, every now and then you look through your bank account and you're very suspicious about all these denominations of money that are just disappearing and you can't remember where they're from. And I had just kept seeing this pH holdings, pH holdings, pH holdings. And I pinned it on the poor massage person at the local mall down the roads and I was like, they have got my details and they're siphoning the money offshore.

It's going on. And so I phoned the bank and I was accusing them. What kind of details and they're siphoning the money offshore. It's going on. And so I phoned the bank and I was accusing them. What kind of money, like denominations? Just odd little like 1750 and you know 2380. I was like, just smaller numbers and I was like, this is how they're getting away with it. Just slowly drain, you know, death by a thousand cuts sort of thing.

Then the person from ASB came back and was like, do you enjoy pizza? I said, yeah, who doesn't like pizza? Odd question, midway through the investigation. Are we going to go out for pizza? What's happening here? Then she was like, because PH Holdings actually stands for Pizza Hut. I was like, dear God, that's confronting. You're draining your own money.

I'm draining my own money with at least a dozen Pizza Hut visits in about a month and a half. Yeah, well there was one on my account, but it was even less than that. It was like $2.50, $3, $2.50. Smart play. And I was like, it took me a while to notice. And that's with same things, small denominations. And I was like, what is Provendor?

What is Provendor? Sounds like a Russian, you know, some sort of Russian group mafia. And I was too nervous to talk to my husband about it because I was like, God, I do a lot of online shopping, it's going to be something that's got me. Turns out it means pro-vendor and it's the vending machine. Yeah. Alright. They really don't need to be so suspicious. We thought you were scammed, but but actually turned out not to be.

Love to hear from you this morning. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The Hats. Morning, we're talking about the times you thought you were scammed. You were getting scammed, but sometimes it turns out to be an actual legitimate thing. Yeah, I'll wait until the Hats are telephone. Sorry for all those Nigerian princes out there, they actually are legitimate.

Yeah, who just want to deposit their money in your account. Yeah, those poor people, they're struggling every day. Struggling. But remember, they were simpler scam times, weren't they? They were. Yeah. But we still fell for them too. We did. Maybe we're the problem. CJ, you thought you were scammed.

Yes, I did, I did. So I got a call yesterday and smartphones are pretty good these days, so it came up across the screen and it said suspected scam and I was like, oh here we go. Oh your phone even is suspicious now. But you still answered it. Yeah, no I still answered it. I like to live on the edge. I'll give this a go, see what they try to get out of me. Yeah, I was like, oh, let's have some fun. I'm at work, just got my pet name.

So I answered the phone and she was like, oh, hello, I'm from the SPCA. I'm here to inquire about your recent animal adoption. And you're like, yeah, sure you are. No, and then she proceeded to read off every single detail about the kitten I had just adopted and I was like, oh, you're legit. Like, babes, oh you're legit. Babes are you aware that it comes up as like scam from your phone number? They need to sort that out. Yeah no I didn't mention it but I was like that's so weird.

Yeah so weird that they asked for my credit card and the three digit pin on the back as well at the same time. How was the adopted kitten by the way? Ah yeah he's good. Good good okay good no follow up questions No no He's so convincing Ah yeah

Yeah he's good He's probably had the phone call when yesterday too You're gonna have a great day CJ Yeah you too, thank you for your time Now producer Troy, just week one on the job You've already felt like you might be scammed by our CEO Michael Boggs The big boss Because I wasn't sure I got an email yesterday and it was from Michael Boggs

And there's in the first line of it said hi Troy good I need your help Already! I've heard good things about you, welcome to the company. The CEO needs your help. What does he need help with? Week one. Week one and I opened the email and I was quite excited. I was like, this is quite important. I didn't realise the comms would be this tight for the CEO.

And he said, can you send me your number? I need to text you something. Ooh! And what have you done? Nothing. I haven't texted him back yet. I haven't emailed him a number or anything like that. We should need to find out after the show. Maybe this is one of these occasions that it's not a scam.

I know! It's pretty specific. And what information is he wanting to give you? What do you have? What are you holding on to? What could you possibly help him? Not a friend. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The Hats. Oh Grace Hilliam our Gen Z producer welcome in. It's lovely to have you here. Thank you. Yeah, this is the first time I've said it's lovely to have you here this morning to grace. Eva. You've got a bugbear with your name and it's something everyone's well a lot of people have this is like when they give their name over to it for a booking or for any sort of identification purposes there's a little sort of byline that you have to give with your name so that people get the spelling correct. Yeah so my last name's

Helium which I thought would be pretty obvious, but I have to say Helium, it's like William with an H. Do you do that every time? That's the tagline. Every time in my whole family, every Helium will say that. Helium. It's like William with an H. It's like William with an H.

But then do people get confused and go, is it, William? Yeah, no, most people are smart, John, but maybe you. That must be, well, because sir, We'll get producer Troy in as well. His partner, Neve. Are you listening to this? Yeah, come on in Troy. Hopefully. Hopefully he's listening to this. Troy's new to the show this week. Day 7. Your partner's name is?

Her name's Neve. How would you think you'd spell Neve? N-E-V-E. What's she going with? She's got the Irish spelling which is n I a m H And that spells neve Sometimes you hear those Scottish and Gaelic or you read the Scottish and Gaelic spellings of words

It's like someone just drink too much whiskey and just smooshed a hand over a keyboard So what so how would she say to spell that she She just says yep, N-E-V-E, whatever. Oh okay, she's just like resides in the fact. She doesn't even bother. Because you spell it out or you say it's like this and people go what? And then when people read it too, I imagine it's not something that we would be used to seeing. Yeah, she always gets ne-am. Ne-am. I can see why though. I can see why she gets ne-am. So yeah, this is what we're going to open up on 0800th, and the text number is 4487. What's the byline you're always having to give when you hand over your name?

I don't have to do too much really. I mean, Ben is pretty, I thought pretty simple, but then going to visit family in the States, that's when you're going to make a hot drink order, you go to like a Starbucks, and it's quite interesting when you just say Ben, and what you get written back on the cup. It's just, I've had Ben, Bin's the most common one, then I've had Ian, Bean, sometimes I over pronounce it and get Dean or a Bear, B-E-A-R, which was an interesting one. And you're like, Ban.

You yell Bear, and they're like, ah, gotcha. Then you're like, Bear? Where did they get that from? One time we got a Steve, and he's like, this isn't the coffee I ordered. Yeah, it was, it was Steve's, actually. So I ate 100 of the hits. I got a lot of, you know, I got a couple of great Bogan friends.

And they won't mind me labeling them Bogan's. They're proud Bogan's. But what the Bogan fraternity likes to do sometimes is take a very simple name and confuse the spelling of it. Just make things a bit more unique. They'll have like a Jessica, which is J E Z K A H or something. Yeah. You know, they haven't run auto correct over over the text message situation.

So I imagine Jessica going through life as J E Z K A H is gonna, yeah, it's gonna be a nightmare. Yeah. Well, yeah. How do you, what is your name and how do you say, what's the little byline that you would say when you were introducing yourself or getting someone to write it down, love John O Ben and Megan, the podcast, the hats, your name. What's the little byline that you would say when you're introducing yourself or getting someone to write it down? Love you. Jono, Ben and Megan.

The podcast. The hats. Say your name. Is there a little phrase? Jono is spelled like a jerk. J-E-R-K. And you're in control of the buttons, too. Yeah, I know.

It's all you. No one else said that. Sorry, guys. Is it something you normally would say? Like there's texts coming through. My last name is Couch and I always say, like, you sit on. You know, if someone's like, what's your last name? Yeah, right. Although you don't want to be front-footed like hey I'm something you sit on do you?

You don't want to. Couch and they're like what? Like you sit on peach and then when come through they always say like the fruit. I guess if you're if you're wondering how you spell these things as well. Chanel's come through because there's so many different ways to spell Chanel they like like the brand. Just spell Chanel like the brand. Yeah so you watch your byline for your name. You've got a little tagline that just easily educates people quickly in a split second of how to spell your name. Christine, morning to you. Hello.

Did you just listen to the radio then? Yes I was. Did I say anything that I'd regret? Maybe. No more than usual though right? No, no. What's the byline for your name Christine? Okay, so my maiden surname was Fat and it's F-A-T-T.

F-A-T-T? Yes. So how would you say that? Like if I was like, oh, how do you spell that? Your book at a restaurant? How would you, how do I spell it? When I did, no, yeah, I just would always just say, um, they'd say, what's your name? And I'd say, fat, F-A-T-T, or F-A-W-T, because it was like, are you sure?

Oh yeah, you get questioned on it. Yeah. Are you sure? Are you, yeah, because they don't want to say fat, because that's shaming. Yeah, you're not allowed to fat shame anyone, and so if we do embarrass you, is that called fat shaming, Christine? No. Hey, lovely to talk to you, mate. You're gonna have a wonderful day, appreciate it.

Okay. Yeah, good on ya. Jeez, I don't know how to say your name. Is it, hello? Hello, it's Sean here. Hi, Sean, how are you? Why do I not know how to say Sean? Yeah, well, you'd be surprised.

A lot of people don't. Oh, really? How do you spell your name? Is it with a S-E-A-N? Correct. Yeah. It wanted to throw me for a while when you'd look at the names.

Do people still say Seen? They call me Seen, and I've also been called Sean. Oh, Sean. Have you got a little byline with your name, a little tag? I basically just say to them yes, but yeah, often seen but never heard. Oh yeah, that's nice. Hey Seen, what are you listening to in the background there? You talking on the radio before I think Are you going on you might have a good one? I waited under the hits. What's the byline for your name? Is this clodah clodah Yes, it's clodah

Clodah that's a that's a great name Well, I'm Irish. All right. How do you spell that? so it's spelled C-L-O-D-A-G-H, but I never give anyone the G-H because they get confused. But I've been in New Zealand for over 20 years and every time I used to introduce my name, people called me Kilda and I don't know where they got that from so I perfected it over time so I pronounce it as Yoda the Green Gremlin in Star Wars and it rhymes with Pluto. That's good so you go hey it's just like the character from Star Wars and boom people can yeah great the Green King from Star Wars. Love it. Keep these comments... The worst thing is, is I'm very short as well. I'm only 4'11", so kind of black.

You sound adorable, Plodder! Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The Hats. Talking about the phrases you use when you introduce yourself to when it comes to your name, or maybe when someone's writing it down. Someone said, 4487, my name is Chaos, great name. First of all, sounds like a Marvel character doesn't it?

But it's spelled K-A-O-S. So a lot of correcting going on there. Someone said my last name is Presley, same as Elvis is what they say. Cool. So what's the byline for your name? Dallas, welcome to the show. A lot of people, so many texts. Everyone's got the one liner to explain your name. Dallas, welcome to the show. A lot of people, so many texts. Everyone's got the one liner to explain their name.

What is it for you, Dallas? All three of them. What is it? My first name is Dallas, but everyone spells it D-A-L-L-A-S, when in fact it's D-E-L-L-I-S. OK, all right. I haven't seen her like that before but okay, yeah. My second name is Anne and I always have to say with an E. Anne with an E, okay, yeah.

And her name is Alison which is also with a capital E. So you go Dallas with an E, Anne with an E and Alison with an E. But still that would confuse me. Where do you want me to put the E? Thanks for your call Dallas with an E. Appreciate it. Now Ben we figured that you've probably got the simplest name to explain out of the three of us. Yeah you're right. Ben. Not much going on with Ben. No frills.

We thought we'd play a little game where you have to sort of you know experience Dallas's pain, Dallas with an E, and you need to make a booking at this particular motel but you don't know what letter we're gonna hand to you to insert into your name. Oh so it's still Ben. Still Ben. But there's a silent letter. Ben with another letter. So you'll hand me a letter midway through? Is that how it works? Yeah, okay. Good luck. Okay. Good morning Mike, my name is Trevor. Oh, hi Trevor. Hey, I was just looking at coming down your way for work this weekend. I just wanted to know on Friday night, just is anything available if I did book? Yep, there is. All right, cool. Can I pencil, just put my name down just briefly and I'll confirm later today.

My name is Ben. Yep. But with a P. Sorry? Ben with a P. Ah. Yeah, it's a bit unusual. Pen.

No, no, no, no, Ben with a P. Ben. Yep, with a P. Ben P. Yeah, but the with a P. Ben P, is it? Yeah, but the P is silent. Gotcha. P is silent, so you just have it at the end. But make sure you put down the P at the end though.

Okay, yep, no, it will do. Oh no, it's me. Can you just read that back to me? That's how did you spell that? Yep, I've got it. But it's just Ben, but it's with a P. Yeah, yeah, no, I've got it. Okay, sorry.

I'm sorry to do this to you. It's Jono, Ben and Megan from the hits radio station They're making me make a I don't why did you make me at a penis? We're just saying people have to spell their names. My name is the most boring. You can't add anything to it Am I hearing wrong? There's a lot to take in. Look, anyway, you can free up that room now, but we will send you a Cadbury Prize pack for playing the game with us. We appreciate it.

Thank you. What was your name? Trevor. Trevor with a? With a P, I think. You got it. Trevor! Jono, Ben and Megan.

The podcast. The hats. Katy Perry. She's been performing in Australia recently. Her concert looks incredible. Like it's got, she's just, she is like on strings up high. Leaving me speechless. Yeah, flipping her way around the stage.

When she sprints down the stage, like sprints as fast as you could sprint as a 40 something. Yeah. All sorts of wild stuff happening at the concert because she's just throwing the kitchen sink at it. She was riding on a giant butterfly. Have you ever been to the Wellington airport and you've seen the big eagle? It kind of looks like that. Hanging from wires.

Yeah. And it had a bit of a malfunction. Have a listen. A scare for singer Katy Perry. The giant butterfly she was riding above the stage in San Francisco Friday night malfunctioned, nearly toppling her into the crowd. Perrie paused, studied herself, and kept right on performing. Legend. Yeah, pretty impressive. These shows are always incredible with all the stuff that she has on stage and the costumes,

like the outfit changes and stuff. Imagine being crushed to death by a giant butterfly ridden by Katy Perry. That's how I want to go out. Have you seen that doc of hers? That was... Well, the one where she's touring and she breaks up with Russell Brent. Yeah, and there's just that, I just remember that scene and she is just, you know, her marriage is over, it's ending and she's just in tears as she's getting like raised up onto the middle of the stage and how she has to change from being in tears full breakdown to like big smile

Here I am performing. It's pretty incredible now. She's been looking back. But then the same thing happened She's on tour again and she broke up with Orlando Bloom like that all went down while she was on tour. Yeah, you just don't know what's going on Do you think now she'd look back and go Russell Brandt? Well, why was I crying? Don't shoot, don't shoot. There's obviously some things going around and I don't know if they're true or not but now she's like, oh okay. Rusty's gone full down the old conspiracy hole hasn't he? Yeah, can we get Russell Brands, you're right. The funny thing is, yes they're stuck in PKR traffic, which we don't actually get to enjoy that much.

The experience, the joy of being stuck in PKR traffic, but yesterday afternoon, tensions are high, people are trying to get home, I understand that. And there was an intersection where the previous light phasing had gone through and there were a couple of cars trapped in that, you know, no man's land. No one even wants to be stuck in the middle when the light phasing changes. Oh, when you time it badly, yeah.

You feel so vulnerable out there, don't you? I've had a ticket for that before. Have you? Yeah. Like it was like 150 bucks. So blocking an intersection or something like that. Oh yeah, it's a scary moment. As any motorist you're like, oh god, and you just want to hide under the seat. But all the other motorists, all they want you to do is to be trapped in there so they can launch onto their horns.

And someone did yesterday, they were giving it all, it was 10 seconds I reckon on the horn, which is 10 minutes in horn time. That is like a bank is enough. And what are you going to do? Like you're like, if you're that person... I've done it now. You're like, I know I'm not meant to be. Like you're like, I can't go anywhere. Yeah, so...

I just want to make you feel extra bad about it. But here's the wonderful play. Because I was parked up just, oh sorry, just waiting up with my window down. The one who was being honked at was like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ruin your day. And then the honker, the aggressor, then pulls down their window and is like, sorry, I am having a bad day and I just took it all out on you. Oh, that's not nice man.

That's the joy, that's the joy of driving. Road rage, is you can just take your anger out, your frustration, you can pass it on to other motorists who you don't know, you're in your little silo. My favourite is when you get two to that, you just wave like, hi! I hate that. Really disarms the situation. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. That.

Sadly for New Zealand, not the winner of the best tap water competition. Now I'm trying to delve into this more if there's, if it was worldwide or just Australasia. But I feel like we're into this, this was the news only about three weeks ago, you were banging on about the world's best tap water. Because we did it nationally. National, that was the national competition.

And Timaru won. This was going across to Australia. On domestic shores. Australia's best tap water we lost in a blind taste. The Isaac Regional Council. And Queensland. Well the Aussies bloody beat us for the best in the world. Yeah, blind taste test as well.

Actually, speaking of water, did you see that clip that's going around the internet? Brooklyn Beckham, now he's cooking, he's great, he's actually a really great chef, David Victoria's son, but he was cooking pasta and he, and I don't know if this was an internet thing or not, but he dipped the pot into the ocean and used the sea water. Or salty water. Yeah. You use salty water to cook. Yeah, but you don't use seawater.

I'm not whipping down the Waitemata harbor. How do you transport it back in the car? Is he holding it on his lap? It's just rolling. Also, like as Moana stated, fish poo in that all day. Well, yeah, and a lot of other stuff gets out there as well. Well, you wouldn't be chucking it. Yeah, I know what you're saying. Not in the Auckland waters. No. Oh, and a lot of other stuff gets out there as well. Well, you wouldn't be chucking it here.

I know what you're saying. Not in the Auckland waters. No. Oh, god, no. No. The other way to get salty water is just put salt in your water. So I'm thinking it's just being... Yeah.

It's just troubling him too. Saved you a lot of trouble there, Brooklyn Beacon. How did they transport our best water over to Australia? Did someone have to take it over and... Oh my god, probably. Good question. A drink bottle? Oh god, a drink it all. Sorry guys.

I was thirsty. Well then you get to customs, they're like, tip it out. This is New Zealand's best drinking water. Tip it out mate. Yeah. It's over a hundred mils. The podcast. That's that. But now we do something every week where we call it, that's enough internet for now. When you kind of get to, you're scrolling, you're doom scrolling and you're like, oh jeez. How have I ended up here? Yeah.

I, yeah, I have those moments quite a lot. And you're sort of like 20 minutes later, you're like, where has that time gone? What was I originally intending to do with my phone? Yeah. Sometimes you're like, do that and then in the middle of the way you're like what was that? You know you've got so deep down a rabbit hole or something. And I know the weird stuff that Jono looks at because he usually sends them. Sometimes I'm like why am I watching two little people slip and slide down a hill like you're covered in unleaded 91 petrol. I'm like that's enough. I'll kick things off just really quick. I think this is a hack that I couldn't use, Jon couldn't use on our kids, but I think you could use on your kids.

Okay. Have a listen to this lady's parenting hack. Oh, it's just bloody disappeared. I'll have to look at it. Sorry. Okay, what we gonna start with someone else's? No, no, just stall, mate. Just stall. Yeah. Stall on the professional you are. Along the lines of bribery?

Well, no, to, you know, kids in tiredness. Have a listen. Sometimes I put movies on for my kids in Spanish and then when they get really confused and ask me why they can't understand it I just tell them they're really tired and that they need a nap and then after they wake up from their nap I put the same movie on but in English. I think that's called gaslighting. Yeah it is but you put it on they're like I can't understand it you're just tired they go to bed they come back you put it on when they can understand and they're like oh my god. You see, you were tired. But anytime they hear anyone speak Spanish from now on they're like jeez I must be exhausted. I'm tired. My four-year-old would absolutely fall for that. You should do it. You should try. Try and see how it goes. I'll record him. Yeah, record it, put it on. I'll record me gaslighting him.

So you guys can hear. There's not many years where you can manipulate them like that. Take advantage. It's super hard gone for us. I'm at the age now where I have to get the kids to help me with stuff. So yeah, it all happened eventually. Now this was a clip that I stumbled across last night. Prince Charles' former assistant. Now for whatever reason he's just, he's dumping, he's dumping everything on Charles. The things that Prince Charles used to make him do.

Have a listen. The Prince of Wales has grown up in such a privileged lifestyle sorry King Charles yeah King Charles sorry the Prince of Wales has grown up in such a privileged lifestyle that he doesn't have mechanics to choose for himself anymore everything he's done for him his pajamas are pressed every morning so they don't have creases in them for the next day. His shoelaces are pressed flat with an iron. No!

His underwear is folded in a certain way. Prince Charles does have his valet squeeze one inch of toothpaste onto his toothbrush every morning. On one occasion, he rang me from his library and he said, oh a letter from the Queen seems to have fallen into my waste paper bin. Would you pick it out? I had to bend down into the paper bin and pick out the letter, put it back on his desk. Will that be all your all highness? Yes thank you very much. No, he's having a laugh. He's not having a laugh. Well I guess those people that's probably what they do with their job, but that feels like he's... That's what he's grown up with.

Yeah. Imagine that. Can you bend down and pick this up for me? But if you imagine if you were a king, I guess that's what I would... Yeah, I guess it's got to be. But it takes more time to... Totally. I totally get it.

And why are you ironing your shoelaces? Because he's a king. I guess that's what kings want. I don't know. Oh my god. All right, and Megga, just quickly, what's your one? Why are you ironing your shoelaces? Because he's a king! I guess that's what kings want, I don't know. Oh my god. Alright, Meghia, just quickly, what's your one? This one made me sad and made me feel old at the same time.

Being in your 30s is hard. It's weird. It's really weird being in your mid-30s because everyone's doing really different things. Like, some of my friends are giving birth and raising families, and like, some of my friends are messaging and asking if I want to go in on a ketamine order. And I personally just bought a tray of avocados, because it was a bargain, and then they all started to get ripe at the same time. I freaked out because I'm only one person. I can't eat 14 avocados. That's a really good point.

There's a lot going on. A lot going on. Sometimes you get into your 40s and there's still people wanting to go on ketamine orders too. That's when it gets really sad.