Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL SHOW: Are We Gonna Be Naughty Or Nice To Drive...

Episode Date: November 11, 2024

ON THE SHOW TODAY: Jono is promoting the bald hair club! I was in a car crash then went to work... For 12 hours! This Wicked muck up is hilarious! Our love HATE relationship with the Herald quiz The vocab of middle aged men... I'm actively avoiding using a spoon! Even with soup! We chat to the White Ferns. Facebook: The Hits Breakfast with Jono and Ben Instagram: THEHITSBREAKFASTSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This John O'Bien podcast brought to you by HelloFresh, the experts in tastes that Kiwis love. Welcome to the podcast on a Tuesday. It's been a really fun show today, isn't it? As we try and avoid Mariah Carey for another day. I feel like one of us is going to get, it's going to happen this week. You reckon? I've just been, every time I scroll, I just scroll and I'm not even thinking about it. It's definitely going to get me on TikTok. I've been trying to turn the sound off. I don't though. I just am like devil may care attitude all right do it now okay yeah yeah have a death scroll now do it now three three tick tock and three videos maybe christmas isn't in my algorithm okay all

right oh that's david beckham what's his name brooklyn beckham david beck. This is someone eating some kind of lolly. Okay. Oh, that sounded Christmas-y. Yeah, I was like, what's that? What's that one? That's a spark ad. I can do one more, one more. All right. The Weeknd. Oh, yeah.

There we go. The Weeknd's safe. There we go. That was dicey. That was thrilling. Thrilling to listen to. We should do that on the show tomorrow. We should do that on the show tomorrow. One of thrilling. Thrilling to listen to. We should do that on the show tomorrow. We should do that on the show tomorrow.

One of us. One of us has to go and scroll. And three scroll. I just did it the other day for five minutes on TikTok. And that was, again, no Christmas in my algorithm. A lot of Trump on the day that I did it because it was after the election. That's good. I was getting a lot of Trump.

No one's saying all I want for Christmas is him or something. For once I was pleased to hear what he'd say. Well, yes, that shaved valuable minutes off our life doing that. And speaking of people

shaving things off, hopefully that ties into what you're about to hear. My husband pitched something to me and I don't usually get involved with anything to do

with his body, his choice, you know. So I was like, you do you, boo, all the time. But he pitched. So he has beautiful curly hair at the moment. And he's like, I'm going to get a buzz cut. He wants to shave it all off.

What's wrong with that? What's wrong with that? What's wrong with shaving it? I was like, you've spent so much time growing your beautiful, natural curly hair. I reckon he'd look like a handsome football hooligan. He'd look great. Exactly. He'd look great.

That's my issue. But I never say anything about what he's doing with his hair or anything. It'd be a friendly football hooligan, though. It wouldn't be like one who broke into a shop, smashed a window, but then felt bad about it the next day. Why, when he has beautiful hair like that, would he shave it off? If you could have beautiful curls, Jono, would you? Well, yeah, because you said yesterday, I was like, oh, sweet.

Like, it'll look great. And I'm like, it'll grow back. I kept saying, it'll grow back. And then afterwards, I was like, oh, dear God, I said that seven times in front of Jono. Doesn't, doesn't. For me, that's always my theory. I mean, look, I'm blonde at the moment. I know what I'm doing.

It'll grow back. I'll shave it off, whatever it is. It'll, but. And I keep on going, oh, God, don't the moment. I know what I'm doing. It'll grow back. I shave it off, whatever it is. And I keep on going, oh, God, don't shave it off. And Jono's right there. Sometimes it goes away and it never comes back. Actually, can I make an open invitation to Andrew on behalf of all people with less hair follicles than the rest of us? You want us, girls.

Welcome to the club. Welcome to the club. Shave your head. Welcome to the club. You look great. You look great. You might like it. We've got our AGM in October. Your annual subs are due Novembermber you get a free t-shirt with a funny slogan on it like i'm not bald it's just like a solar panel for a sex machine or something

you know we'll give you one of the novelty t-shirts and we welcome all members with open arms so yeah i think it's happening regardless oh yeah i think we got a little good it looked good if the shoe were on the other foot and you're like, Andrew, I want to shave my head. Yeah, absolutely, oh no, to be honest,

he would probably be like, he would probably say, you do you. your body, your tears. Exactly. Yeah. He's so annoying like that.

He probably would, he'd be like, if you want to, you do it. Especially at the moment. Are you worried he's going to look too much like me and the babes are going to come flocking?

That's exactly my idea. All day, all day I'm fending off babes. Breaking hearts all over town. Sorry babes, this one's taken. Well,

keep us updated with how it goes, alright? Okay, do you want me to save the curls, Jono? Wow.

You could paste them on your head or something. No one would notice. Yeah. Why don't we do that? Okay, we'll shave Andrew's head, keep it in a wig

and then I can wear it daily. Yeah, that'd be nice. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. A Disney cruise actually saved four people. They were sinking in their catamaran 200 miles off the coast of Bermuda. And, yeah, pretty incredible thing to have the Disney cruise come along

and save you. Mickey saved you. Yeah. And if you're going to be rescued by any boat, it'd be the happiest place on earth, wouldn't it? Then you get a nice 12-day vacation. Hopefully you get to sort of tag in for that, the rest of the cruise, right?

Yeah, are they going into port or are they just leaving? Because then you'll be like, oh, I want to stay. They were the closest ship by far, yeah, 80 miles away from where they were originally at the start. So they were quite, yeah, they would have died. Yeah, I mean, 10 million times better than being, you know, hauled aboard on some greasy container ship by some salty toothless sea dog. Oh, really?

How long were you on here for? That's another three weeks, you know. You've been on a Disney cruise? Yeah, it was a lot of fun. Yeah, great time. Didn't save anyone, though. Didn't save anyone's life, but I had a great time. Didn't save the credit card anyway, all the merch.

But we are talking. We did actually get into this yesterday. Why are you lucky to be alive? And an insane number of calls coming through. We're saying, we're surprised to have anyone listening to the show after this. So I'm riding my motorbike and cruising down the road, and this young boy with his owner's license decided to turn in front of me. So I hit him on the corner of his car.

I flew over the bonnet. I landed on the road about five car lengths further. Broke my knee, broke my ankle. We're flying to visit some friends and our plane, one of the engines de-ices stopped working. And so the engine stopped working so we were flying with only one engine and we had an emergency landing at this really small local airport they had to open it for us so i was in the middle of uh the biggest tsunami that was hit southeast asia yeah i was in a bus and you know the came in. The bus almost tipped over.

And I'm the last person to get out of the bus because I had no clue what was going on. Just incredible stories. So we wanted to open up there. 0800 the HATS 4487. When you feel like you're lucky to be alive. We felt we could milk the most traumatic events in your life for one more day. I never really had a near-death experience. I suppose the potential for death was I had some friends come over many years ago,

and they had to get rid of a tree, and we're like, oh, we'll chainsaw it down ourselves. I mean, even just listening to that sentence, you're like, this is the beginning of a news story. Yeah, it sounds like it, right? A couple of beers, you know, just to— Oh, yeah, because you're operating a chainsaw. Perfect. It was a big tree, too. It was big.

Oh, my God. And anyway, we got it down. Was it your tree? It was our tree. Got it down, crushed the hedge at the front, so it damaged the fence a bit. And then you obviously got to cut the tree up into segments afterwards.

And so we only had one chainsaw, so we'd take turns at doing segments. And I never really used a chainsaw, to be honest. And when I first put it on, it, like, kicked back off the tree and, like, cut my leg, kept going. And then I started, like, you know how you kind of use a saw back and forth? Well, like, you're cutting bread. My friend's like, you don't have to use it.

You can just hold it. The chainsaw's doing all the work. And he said Once we saw him Trying to cut the tree like bread He thought he'd better Take the chainsaw back So that was me That was me just dipping my

Oh no the other chainsaw Incident I had Is I bought one after that I was like You know what After that I might get one And then we gave it to Remember the Edge

Radio station I was working there at the time And they're like We're doing a novelty radio wedding We thought it'd be really funny If the bride and groom The listeners It wasn't us That it'd be really funny if the bride and groom, the listeners. It wasn't us. That was on them, really.

Yeah, well, the bride and groom were on rollerblades and cutting their cake with my chainsaw. And I was like, yeah, this sounds great. You'd have to take the chainsaw. While it's on wheels. While on wheels. I think they took the blade off it, but still. Yeah, and then I was part of an HR investigation after that.

I got a call from the HR department over there at MediaWorks. And it turns out you're not allowed to give chainsaws to listeners. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Talking about when you're lucky to be alive. I was actually thinking yesterday when I used to live in the Wairarapa, we lived on a farm. We decided after a couple, well, like probably a day after quite a lot of rain, we were like, let's go down the river on inflatable tractor tubes.

Oh, my God. And I remember my parents going, is that the best idea? And we're like, yeah, we were wetsuits a couple of mates and it wasn't the best idea. I love how they like, they threw the question out there, but they were like, oh, well, you're going to do what you're going to do. And we ended up in some sort of like, surrounded by some sort of cliff faces. The water was really rough and my friend went under and we just kept getting flipped. And we're like, oh, my God, we're never going to get out of this. And my friend was like, we went under and he was like I was like, oh my God, we're never going to get out of this. And my friend was like, well, he went under and he was like,

that'd be the last we see of him. But he popped up about 20 meters away from us. And me and my other mate were clinging to this one tractor tube. And yeah, we eventually got out of there and we were like, oh, okay. Mum was right. It wasn't a good idea. Her words were playing over and over in her head. Yeah, yeah.

So we never did that again. Did you tell her when you got home? No, we were all a little bit shaken. I think we lost two of the tractor tubes. We were all a little bit rattled. When you were dangling onto your tractor tube, was that what you said to your friend? Oh, that's the last we'll see of him.

In between going under the water, then coming back up and cleaning up. That's the last we'll see of him. And then we were like, oh, no, he's all good. And he couldn't come back to us. It's very frightening, actually. It does, but sometimes you need those lessons. Oh, yeah. We'll never do that again.

One and done scenario. We're going to go to Nathan this morning. How are you, buddy? You all right? Yeah, how are you doing, guys? We're doing good. What happened? You're lucky to be alive, Nathan.

Oh, very lucky. So, I was travelling early hours of the morning, I think it was like 2am. I ended up rolling my car seven times up a bank and then back down a bank. Oh my god. What? I landed upside down and then managed to crawl out, grab my skateboard, and then I skated to work, worked a whole 12-hour shift. And then I got my partner at the time to take me to the hospital after work,

found out that I was concussed for six months. So six months after the accident, I was concussed for. Oh, my gosh. Broken my shoulder, fractured my hip, broken my knee and my ankle all on my left side. What? And you skateboarded to work? Yeah. Yeah.

It was about 80 k's from where I crashed the car. So it took me maybe three or four hours. Are you for real? What? We need to turn this into a movie. Wow. If that's not dedication, I don't know what is. If I did a fender bender, I'd be like, I can't come into work today.

I've been in a car accident. Did you just leave your car on the side of the road? Yeah, I left my car in the ditch. And then after I went to the hospital, got a little bit cleaned up. I worked on a farm at the time, so I just grabbed the tractor, got in the tractor, drove it to where I crashed the car, picked it up with the forks and drove it all the way home. Oh, my God. Kiwi battler.

Ricker, you're a little bit late So at the end of your 12 hour shift Were you like oh Were you actually in pain Yeah I'm like oh maybe I should You know go get kicked out Maybe you were just in shock You know you just went into autopilot

And then did a 12 hour shift I've just been skateboarding to work for a few hours. It happens. It happens. That is a crazy story. It is. I'm glad. And then on that same road,

I've crashed multiple cars within two years. Are you doing something wrong? Are you missing the corner? It's black ice, I swear. Oh, wow. God, you be careful, man. It's almost like you shouldn't drive down that road. Cursed for you, Nathan. I've stopped driving down that road. Oh, man. Wow. God, you be careful, man. It's almost like you shouldn't drive down that road. Cursed for you, Nathan.

I've stopped driving down that road. Yeah, good. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Next month, of course, is Christmas, and we've been playing a really fun game. I think it's captured the imagination of the country, this one. The Mariah Carey game. You can play along, too. You can start right now.

You've just got to see how long you can avoid listening to Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas. You could be somewhere. You could be at a store. You could be scrolling on social media. You could be anywhere. And if you hear it, you're out of the game. Yeah, and we're playing with Matty and PJ in the afternoon as well.

You're playing, listening too. You can text 4487 if you're out of the game. You've heard it while you've been shopping or scrolling through social media. But we got some intel yesterday that Matty and PJ might have been playing a little dirty. Yeah, they were about to sabotage us. They were going to go try and trick us. And I mean, it's easy to do. We talked about it yesterday.

We could easily change one of their audio that they play on their show to Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas. That's something we could do. We could just rename one of the songs. Lowbrow stuff. We could do that sort of stuff. Dirty tactics. So we were supposed to be all in this together to see how long we could last. We could just rename one of the songs. Lowbrow stuff. We could do that. Dirty tactics. But we were supposed to be all in this together. Yeah, that's what we thought.

To see how long we could last. So Nathan phoned through. He had some great intel for us. He told us about the fact that they were plotting to sabotage us. So we recorded a wee message for Matty and PJ to play in the afternoon. Here was the message we recorded. This is a pre-recorded message for Matty and PJ. If you're listening to this we

couldn't be bothered coming in live to do this no but we're on to you in regards to the mariah carey competition we were all trying to avoid listening to all i want for christmas now don't worry uh we're not going to play mariah carey right now because we're better than that uh but apparently you're not have a listen to nathan who caught up our show uh they were talking about getting uh someone else that works there to play it on an elevator or something along those lines. Oh, a stitch-up.

Oh, to try and get us out. Yeah. Oh. Were they now? Cheeky. Were they now? Nathan's a nut. I love it.

Nathan's great. The hole in their plan is they were hatching their plan on nationwide radio. So we've heard from Nathan, our informant, that you could be hatching the plan. So here's the ultimatum. You could be naughty or you could be nice. Right, Megan?

Yeah, so either we're going to play the nasty game where we try and stitch each other up or we're going to stay on the same team. Yeah. And we're trying to get as far as we can through this. I thought we were a team. So that played out. We used to be a team of five million.

Remember that? I remember that. Not anymore. Now we're out. We used to be a team of five million. Remember that? I remember that. Not anymore. Now we're breaking down into teams of two, teams of three. Quickly we forget. Be kind, be nice, team of five million. It's all changed, isn't it? So they played that yesterday.

They got to listen to that live on the radio. And this is their response in regards to playing naughty or nice. I thought we were a team Nathan the Knark. Nathan! Nathan! Here I was thinking they were genuinely listening to our show. We would have got away with it if bloody Nathan didn't call up and dob us in. Look, PJ and I come on this show from three to seven every day and we share things with you guys under the assumption

that this is a safe space for us to say whatever we want and no one is going to go knock on us to the breakfast show it's called an honesty game an honesty game oh no now okay so what do we do we do we take team naughty or do we take team nice? Or do we just keep our cards under wraps? I mean, the cheeky version of me says naughty all the way. But I don't like to win under false pretenses, you know? If I win something, I want to win fair and square. So do we have to call it the impeach? Oh, I guess so

Just be boring and play by the rules Nathan! There we go All I want for Christmas Is for Maddie and PJ to play a fair game And they've decided to play the fair game Fair game Okay, so we're not going to

We're not going to sabotage them We're going to play fair We could really turn the tables now They think we're going to play a fair game You know, we've really Let's not talk about this on the air People like Nathan will listen And tell them

No we played fair Okay let's play fair For now let's say we played fair Okay right until the end The hits The Jono and Ben podcast Obviously the merch comes out When the movie comes out

Before the movie Before the movie Yeah of course Pre-merch Everyone's fizzing for it It looks amazing The original The origin story

Of the Wicked Witch Of Wizard of Oz It's in cinemas Next Thursday But they've split it Into two Which irks me But it's because

They didn't want to Cut anything out But I have seen The merch I'm sorry What do you want them to do Do you want them to Re-edit the movie

I was like I want to see The whole thing in one go But now we have to wait A year for the second one But that's but that's almost like they're trying to stretch out money out of you suspicious of this maneuver um but i did see the dolls um they have the dolls in the warehouse so the glinda and the alphaba um and i didn't read the back of it but i have seen it but printed on the back of these doll packages is the website

to go and check out all the information of the movie. Mattel of like, if you want to check out more dolls, go here. Get the accessories, no doubt. Go to wicked.com. Which that makes sense, it's the title of the film. Someone's already got wicked.com, apparently.

Wicked.com is taken. Who owns that domain name? That is a hardcore adult website. It's very wicked. So the print of these on all the boxes, very small, mind you. Who is that person? That one person was like, that's an adult site. Should I say anything?

But everyone will go, hey, I think that's an adult. Everyone's going to go, oh, how do you know that, mate? There's a hell of an assumption, though. They're like, oh, wicked.com. Oh, it's all right. We haven't sent out all the boxes, have we? No. No, we haven't.

Oh, that is. Honestly, I suffered the same fate. I had my own prawn business. I was prawnhub.com. Just one small typo. Stitched up the entire company. My prawn business Down

Never made a comeback after that It's not one small typo either There's a few letters different Who's giving crisis advertising For the site that's not Prawn Hub It is supposed to be Wickedmovie.com But Mattel have said

Look if you've got these Sorry Get rid of the boxes. Yeah, because once you take it out of the box, the evidence is gone, right? It's quite good advertising, in a way. It's quite good for everyone, for the movie, for the website. For Wicked.com. We all want to go to Wicked.com now, don't we?

Even just talking about it. I've got it on my work laptop and it's like flagged to IT. Oh, really? I'll get a wee visit from them later. And you can guarantee the person who did that will never be seen again. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. We like to start the day with the New Zealand Herald Daily Quiz. Try and get 10 out of 10.

If we get one answer wrong, we're out. It's not the way it generally works at the New Zealand Herald.co.nz. You can keep playing, but we've just decided that's our rules. We strive for success. We got 10 out of 10 last week, but we're not here to bathe in the glory of that, are we? No, we move on to the next day. Now, Producer Ellie is off today. So, Producer Grace filling in.

Hello, hello. You said potentially gettable. Potentially gettable, but I've done the quiz and I've forgotten all the answers. You've forgotten them? I've completely forgotten them. So, I will not be giving anything away. Oh, good. Producer Ellie's facials are very telling.

Yeah. Okay, she was like, hmm. She would be a shocking game show host. You're right. She may have helped us to a couple of those, too. Yeah, definitely. Okay, first question this morning. Okay.

What American jazz musician was nicknamed the King of Swing? John Coltrane, Glenn Miller, Benny Goodman. I feel like it's Glenn Miller. Annie Pryor loved her jazz. Okay. And she also loved, what was it? Sade. Sade.

So you reckon, who'd you say? I feel like Glenn Miller, but now Grace is giving me some Gen Z cringy facials. That's right. Well, if we get out the first one that's what happens yeah okay lock it in

John Coltrane Glenn Miller which one are we Glenn Miller glad you were listening to the whole thing Glenn Miller

that is incorrect oh who was it Benny Goodman oh Benny Goodman don't your heroes always let you down?

I'm sorry, guys. Benny Goodman. Benny. Oh, well, that's it. You just yell your own daily quiz. Wow. All over and done with. Normally, we try and aim for around three minutes.

Now I know how your wife feels. Very, very disappointing. It ends like that, too. Everyone goes, oh. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast Now there's someone In the building I don't have any idea

Who he is But I know he works upstairs We've got a number Of businesses on The levels upstairs And I bump into him I'd say at least Three or four times a week

Okay And this is the Level of our conversation I'll go How's it going He'll say good And then follow up With the name of our conversation. I'll go, how's it going? He'll say, good. And then follow up with the name of the day. Good.

Monday. And then I'll go, Monday. And then that's the beginning of our conversation. Today I just saw him before. How you going, mate? Good. Tuesday. And that's all we do. So does it get better, the conversation, if you see him on a Friday? Like, is it more positive?

Yes, because he says good every day. But then the way he enunciates the day, that really sums up how the mood is. Wednesday. Hopeful. Yeah, hopeful. That's the turning point. Thursday. Thursday.

Thursday. Eyebrows raised. Friday. We are screwed If we ever are locked in a room And have to have Deep and meaningful conversation I dare you to branch out

And be like I don't know What do you do Or No I just like What we've got at the moment He reminds me what day it is I get a rough gauge

On how he's feeling Does he ever ask you How your day is No I just Sometimes relay the day Back to him. I'll be like, oh, Monday.

Yeah, Monday. Monday, Monday, Monday. Well, it's Tuesday though. It's Tuesday. So there you go. Slightly more hopeful than Monday. Middle-aged white men, eh?

You speak a different language. We don't need to say any more. Brief. I know everything I need to know about that guy. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. Megan, fresh off

wrist surgery, carpal tunnel surgery, weren't you? Yeah, just a little surgery last week. You must have the bloody strongest wrists in media now. Both bionic. Yeah, Ristaphalaxin we'll call her. Okay. It was good off the cuff. From this day forward.

To be honest, there's probably a better, like, Ristagena maybe. Might be better than Ristaphalaxin. But better, like, wrist jenna, maybe. Might be better than wrist avaluxin. But yeah, we'll call you one of those things. Yeah, and this is someone I experienced when I was getting my wrist surgery. Not to shame the medical staff. We were just talking before about how people do this every single day, saving lives,

and it's just their day-to-day. So thank you for everyone who helped me out. The nurses were lovely, but one of them, as we were leaving, they ushered us into the lift to go down to the bottom floor. So she was like, oh, in you go. Pushed the buttons for us, but then left and walked out of the lift

and met us at the bottom. Were you thinking it might be protocol that nurses can't mingle with patients? No, no, I kind of thought she was like, oh, leaving us. And I was i was like oh we didn't say goodbye but then she appeared when we got to the bottom and i was like oh what there was enough room and she was like no no i'm kind of afraid of lifts so she's been in a lift that's broken down and she was in there for hours and just like in the movies when they finally got it going again

she had to crawl through like a little space, the gap, and she was worried it was going to fall and cut her legs off. It didn't. She got out. But the trauma has stayed with her. So now as a nurse, every single day,

she has to avoid going in the lift. She has to run up and down the stairs. I can see how that trauma would sit with you. Yeah. And lifts, actually no one I'd ever believe is 100% comfortable in a lift

no there's always that sort of 5-10% try not to think too hard about it and then they start going you're like

my daughter's the same she got stuck momentarily not as bad as that or anything like that but now she if she can avoid it she will

we'll always take the stairs you know but if she has to there's no other choice we're putting a lot of trust in something we know breaks down a lot it's like stairs, you know. Yeah. But if she has to, there's no other choice. We're putting a lot of trust in something we know breaks down a lot. It's like a plane, you know. 99% of the time you're going to be fine.

You just hear about all these, you know, and everyone gets it. Like sharks. You know, you've got more chance of winning lotto than being attacked by a shark. I just made that up, but it sounded convincing. Well, I think there are stats like that, though. You're right. Yeah. There's stuff you awkwardly actively

avoid doing. Parallel parking for me if I can, if I can I'll avoid doing that. He hates the public humiliation, especially with a crowd. Yeah like I will do it but I'd rather not. You're overthinking it. I'd rather not, it needs to be a nice space. Yeah again, probably overthinking it. But I was like, my wife's always like, this is a park

and I'm like, was there? You've just got to hit it with like a devil made care attitude like swing it in and you'll probably be fine. park. I'm like, it was there? You've just got to hit it with like a devil-made care attitude, like swing it in and you'll probably be fine. Yeah, I'm pretty sure there's more to it than that. The tight parallel ones are like, oh, you know. We're trying to work out when you're driving along, can I get in there, can I not get in there? You don't want to be that person that does it four times

and then drives away. That's when the public humiliation comes into play. Yeah, that's the worst case. Because you know everyone's watching on the second or third attempt. You're gathering an audience. Grinding the wheels on the bloody curb. How about you Megan? Are you actively avoiding anything? Phone calls.

As a grown up who has children it's not ideal but like generally I don't answer phone calls. It's a compliment if I answer the phone when you call. I'm with you. I'd rather not talk on the phone if I can avoid it. I don't know what it is. It makes me so anxious.

No good normally comes from a phone call. No. No good. But I'm like, just leave me a message and I'll decide whether I'm going to call you back

or text you. No one's ever ringing with good news. There's no reason why. It's always someone going to like, you ever got this? You ever got this?

Never a great call. You owe us this money. Yeah. You're right. Like, why am I answering this call if I can avoid it? I reckon it's going to make the 2024 quotes of the year. Nothing good ever comes from a phone call. No.

Maybe if we're calling you back. The one time we're calling you on the hits, maybe, you know, win a competition. Yeah. That's, you know, why you want to call. Other times we're calling you just to pester you to tell your story. Yeah, you're right. The Hits,

the Jono and Ben podcast. Looks like Chris Martin and Coldplay are in town ahead of their first concert on Wednesday. There were photos I just saw online. Is this Chris Martin

spot in Auckland? I'm like, well, yeah, it is. It could be another run of the mill white guy. Yeah, I would guess so. But it's like, what little clearly. pretty nondescript It really looks like Chris Martin

He's in town this weekend I'm pretty sure you're safe to say that is Chris Martin All money on the fact that is Chris Can I see the photo? Are you hedging your bets It would be Chris Martin Megan? Probably is I'll bring it up in a second

Is he wearing a patched jacket? Or is that just stage wear? We are talking about what you're actively avoiding. Chris Martin actively avoiding the paparazzi here in New Zealand. You can call 0800 THE HITS 4487 on the text. You met someone the other day. A nurse who is looking after me with my wrist surgery actively avoids lifts because she got stuck in one. So she runs up and down the stairs at the surgical clinic that she works in

rather than taking the lift. That would be a lot every day. Yeah, that's Chris Martin. Ben pulled up the photo of Chris Martin. Is this Chris Martin? Pretty sure that's Chris Martin. Yeah, it looks like Chris Martin. It does look like Chris Martin, right? I mean, it does look like a white dude as well. Or it could be a guy called Martin who is an accountant or something who's on his day

off. But there you go. Welcome to town. Coldplay. Oh, and under the hits, okay, what are you actively avoiding? Alicia, good morning to you. Good morning. Great to have you on. What are you trying to dodge every day? Spoons. Spoons?

Yeah. So, like, making a coffee? What would you... So, I can use them as, as like making coffees and stuff. I just cannot actively put them in my mouth. Okay, what? Is there some trauma relating to the spoons? I...

So, as a young child, I decided that as a prank it was one of those things that i pretty much got pranked and dared to not use spoons and you just stuck over time that i don't actually like the texture of but you're okay with a fork going into your mouth? Yeah, I'm basically fine with a fork, but not spoons. Okay, there you go. So what about like cereals and like... Soup. Yeah.

No, that is all forks. All forks? So you're eating a cereal with a fork? Yep. How are you eating soup? Do you just drink it out straight from the bowl? I guess you could drink it from a mug or something. Yeah.

Yeah, either that or I just don't eat a lot of soup. You don't eat a lot of soup. You don't eat a lot of soup. How are you not getting your daily soup intake? Soup is underrated. We're all worried about soup. Soup is underrated. I mean, I can't remember the last time I had soup. It's not really a summer thing, you know.

You're fine for the next few months. When you do think about it, you can get your way, you can make your way through life without a spoon. You're right. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, exactly. All right. That's incredible, Alicia. Appreciate it.

You've got to have a great day. Great text here. I actively avoid looking at my partner during lovemaking. Those are not the sort of things we were hoping for. Your partner definitely knows they're doing it. Honey, honey, honey, look at me Sometimes it is one of those scenarios You're like, are we dead in the eyes here?

Am I staring at the ceiling? What am I looking at? What do you mean? Where am I focusing in on? I know what you're saying What are you doing? Are you looking dead in the eyes? It's definitely like eye contact happening

Shut your eyes is always a great option Just go in blind Yeah, right Someone else avoids looking in the mailbox In case there's a speeding ticket Eye contact happening. Shut your eyes is always a great option. Just go on blind. Yeah, right. Someone else avoids looking in the mailbox in case there's a speeding ticket. Yeah, no, that's good. That's probably like you with the mail room at work, right, Jono? I just ignore them.

I believe if I haven't been handed the physical ticket, I don't have to pay it. Harvey, you're on. Hi. What are you actively avoiding? Sports. Oh, really? You don't like sports? All sports?

Well, specifically the sports that include running. Oh, anything cardio-based. Okay. Yeah, fair enough. There's a lot of people like that. Yeah, that sounds like me. Running does suck. You're right. What's the worst one for you?

The worst one? Yeah. Probably 400, 100 metres. Oh, actual, literal running. I tell you what. Straight lines. The cross my daughter's the same. The cross country is the worst day in the school calendar for her.

Don't even get me started. I feel like I want to. Although Indy, She's very good At the cross country She doesn't like it But she is quite good at it But she wins Yeah well she cut

Like in the top five How'd it go She went terrible Came third What Now I've got to do it again At like the end of the zone The zones

I was like I've got to give it a try There's an easy way To fix that When you see you're doing well Just slow down I didn't want to tell her that I was just like

I've got to give it a try Hey well Harvey You continue on Trying to avoid Anything running based You see you're doing well. Just slow down. I didn't want to tell her that. I was just like, well, good on you for trying. Well, Harvey, you continue on trying to avoid anything running-based, all right, and have a great day. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Hey, Ferns, the cricket team, the first New Zealand team, men's or women's, to win a world championship T20 competition. It was so epic in the UAE. There it is.

New Zealand have done it. 9,000. They have etched their names in history. It was so awesome to see. And they're bringing the trophy right around the country, taking on a bit of a tour, the ICC T20 trophy. And from the White Ferns, we've got Izzy Gaze and Meta Green with us in the studio.

Great to have you here. Thanks for having us. Very exciting. You've brought in the trophy. Congratulations. The ICC T20 trophy. A lot heavier. We we got to pick it up a lot heavier than we thought yeah it is heavy yeah nice to be able to take around the country and show it off do you factor that into your uh your carry-on luggage because obviously you didn't arrive you know you didn't leave the country didn't go to the uae with it so you came home with it yeah what happens manager

has to get the credit card out at check-in. That's a lot. I reckon about 10 to 15 kgs extra baggage there. It's very heavy. Also you do start to wonder because celebrations sometimes people like to put liquid inside. Can you put any liquid inside it or is that something that's not done? I think one of the girls tried to but it's a bit

of an odd shaped trophy and it all just started pouring out the bottom. It didn't really work that way. We loved the celebrations. It was so awesome to see you guys win it was emotional scenes but then also the celebrations afterwards uh this i think was in the dressing rooms not long after there was some sort of karaoke going on can you guys remember that you're looking at us very blankly like, oh, someone recording that. Sadly, one of the least glamorous sides of sport is I was actually doing drug testing at the time. Oh, were you?

Yeah, so that was a bit of a shame. Well, this is what you missed. Did they just pick you randomly for drug testing? Yeah, yeah, it's just all part of it, I suppose. But yeah, I missed that, which was a shame. The girls were having a good time. That's Georgia Plummer's favourite song, and she always gets up and about on the team bus singing that song so it was cool for her to be able to do that so Maddie you've been in the team for a while

you know like 12 years I think well what does it mean to like to to win this because no men's team has ever won a world cup for New Zealand and this is a woman's team winning it in the T20 yeah it was awesome um obviously it had lots of ups and downs through my career and um you know that's something that some people never get to achieve. So to get that trophy is pretty special, and especially for us old girls who have been around a wee while, it's nice to win one before your time's up. And me, not 42, buddy.

Sometimes I feel like it. But yeah, hopefully for someone like Izzy, she's got a few more in the bank coming, so that'll be cool. Yeah, Izzy, just come on. What are you, 20 now or something? Come on in. You've got like a bronze medal from the Commonwealth Games

and now a World Cup as well. That's pretty surreal. Yeah, it's pretty special and first World Cup and you know, won that one. So it's one way to start. But yeah, pretty lucky to be a part of the team.

When you were playing cricket as a child, do you know he would used to wear full cricket whites just all the time though. He would never take them off. Sweatpants, everything as well. Yeah, and he'd walk through Marsden. I know, it was a bit of a weird kid.

Even when he wasn't playing cricket, but anyway. At any stage, if you wanted a cricket game, I probably have them in my bag. If you want a cricket game at any stage, I'm good to go, guys. You always felt sorry for your parents, who would just sit around for like eight hours and watch cricket. Oh, yeah, it could be a long time. Were your parents good sideline parents?

My parents just used to drop me off and say, have a great day. I got to that stage too. Although the shortened version of the game now is he's probably quite handy for parents coming along. Oh, Dad loves it. I think he's living his cricket career through me. Yeah, that's cool. Well, I mean, his daughter's playing for New Zealand,

so he's not just watching some seven-year-old fart around on a Friday night when he's like, I could be home. I could be home. A pretty sweet payday as well too, which is awesome. I mean, it's great to see that the women's team and the men's team have paid parity over the last few years. But a pretty sweet payday from this World Cup. Yeah, it's pretty epic. Obviously not why you play.

The trophy is the most important thing to us. Cash is good though. Yeah, it's a really nice bonus. Have you spent it? Have you got it? What's that then? I may have bought myself an expensive coffee machine. Oh, okay.

Nice. Yeah, which is good. I've been wanting one for years and I sort of said, if we make the semifinals, I'm buying one. Are you talking like a move your hands one or like an espresso? Nah, like a proper espresso machine. So that was a real treat

and then the rest, you know, save it, put it towards the future. It's cricket. Big block. Block is something that happens in cricket. There's a tenuous tie-in and when we ring from a phone line here at work, it's a blocked number.

So we want to do the White Ferns block right now. Is there one person in the team we can call that won't answer? Won't answer a blocked number. Can we call them right now and see? Susie Bates. Okay. Susie Bates. Can you get the number, which obviously we can get around,

and see if she doesn't answer? You guys win. Another trophy, let's just say, if she doesn't answer. Yeah. She not great for answering? Nah, she doesn't like, she likes being on Susie time. Okay. Susie Bates, one of the legends for the White Ferns. Okay. Ben never answers another number. No, I doesn't like, she likes being on Susie time. Okay, Susie Bates,

one of the legends for the White Fence. Okay. Ben never answers in her number. No, I don't like blocked numbers either. Okay, so pretty sure she's not going to answer?

What do you guys like at answering? Usually if it's a blocked number or something, I don't know, I'll let her go to answer phone.

I feel like if it's important, I'll leave a message. Okay, well Susie Bates. 021. No, don't call out the number. Okay, Susie Bates, will she block

the block number? It's ringing. It's early in the morning too. Yeah, it is early. Susie could be thinking it's an appointment. She's missed. Am I late for training? She's not going. You're confident?

Susie Bates. She blocked. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Trotting Cup on today. The big race around 5.46 in Addington, Christchurch. It is a huge day. It's a huge week in Christchurch. And good to hear before, Megan, tickets is $25 this year.

Reduce them down from $40, which is nice. Hey, nice. I like an affordable race day. One of my favorite things in life. And we're going to go to Christchurch now from the Hits in Christchurch. Connor, good morning. Nice. I like an affordable race day. One of my favourite things in life. And we're going to go to Christchurch now from the Hits in Christchurch. Connor, good morning. Morning.

How are you? We're doing all right. Cup day today. What is it? Five before five? I mean, how does it start? Like the things at Lincoln? It's all go.

I mean, the drive into work is actually bloody quiet on a day like today as well. I bet. We went to that Lincoln engineering. What was it? I don't know. I've still got trauma from it. It was a lot of fun. A lot of fun, but a wild morning too. But your Cup Day we've been to a couple of times, and that is a wonderful event.

People turn up ready to party. Looking amazing too. Looking fantastic, but in 110% party mode. I don't know if it's so much about the racing as it is the party at this point. I mean, you've got your enthusiasts for sure who are screaming from the stands. Yeah, I mean, we all see the news that night, don't we? We all see the images.

It's very Melbourne. Most of the people, yeah, they're like, oh, there were horses? Yeah. There was racing? Guaranteed there's going to be someone stumbling out of there, walking in a garden or something, and someone holding high heels, walking in bare feet on the news.

You're right. It is a good day, though, if you are a racing enthusiast. Look, I personally am not a huge fan. I've got a couple of mates who are racing mad. Swayze, who's the favourite at the moment, that horse's race to lose. No, I couldn't tell you anything about the horse. I couldn't tell you anything about the jockey or the driver as it is in Trott, but it should be a good day at Addington.

Swayze, did you say? Swayze, yeah, Swayze. Chuck a few bob on there, mate. You'll be sweet as. I'm putting the entire kid's savings on it, my KiwiSaver, everything. And Megan, you had some crazy stats about the food. There is 800 kgs of chicken thighs, a tonne of beef brisket, and

500 kgs of asparagus that is on the menu. This is for the corporate guests. So lots of weird smelling weeds. Jeez, that is a wild amount of asparagus for one location? Yeah. Why go to the races if you're not going to completely clog up your artery? A tonne of

brisket. It is a massive week in Christchurch, isn't it? And so much to say. And it's not just the races. You've got things happening every day? Pretty much. I mean, we've got, of course, the IIT Trotting Cup today. However, on Thursday, the Christchurch show,

the new and improved Christchurch show kicks off. People coming to the Christchurch show this year, they might be used to the animal petting, the horses, the dogs, and there'll be all that stuff there as usual. But then a whole bunch of new stuff as well, family activities. I'm sure EventHire have pulled out all the stops to make it a pretty cool few days. That's Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, which, of course, Saturday is the NZ Cup, which is different to the trots.

Trots today is the harness racing, and then Saturday is when they're on the back of the horses. So, yeah, that's a huge week. It's a public holiday too, right? Yeah, Friday. So, short week. Everyone's getting into it. I don't know how anyone gets work off today, but a lot of people do, and so we're into it. I feel like this week marks the beginning of the end of the year for Canterbury.

Yeah. Once you've had this week, you're on the slow fade out, aren't you? Yeah, I think everyone already here at work has checked out. I mean, no one's here, so everyone's here. Well, Connor,'s here. Well, Connor, be safe, enjoy your week,

and we'll see you on the news. Yeah, and we'll be at the show on Thursday, actually. We can't wait to be there bribing people to get

a photo with us. They could win $1,000. The hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. What we get there? The Riddler. Yes, he loves riddles so much

it's running through his bloodstream, even into his bladder. He piddles riddles, Ben Boyce. Now we got, thanks to Doolmart Tea, we got $100 in a hot and cold tea prize pack to give away. They've got some amazing hot teas as well as the cold ones.

Peach iced tea is one of my favourites. Blood orange is awesome, perfect for summer. So right now, I'm going to do a riddle for the room and then I'll do a quick riddle for you. I know it hundreds of times. Riddle for the room? Okay. Riddle for the room. Riddle for the room and then I'll do a quick riddle for you. I know it hundreds of times. Riddle for the room.

Riddle for the room. Riddle for the room. He's waving my hand around. Okay, here we go. I've written this one. This is a bespoke riddle. Again, last week I brought a bespoke riddle to the play. So this one, I reckon you'll get this midway through, but I don't want an answer until the end.

Just think about it. Okay. Here's the riddle. I'm known for my class but i slipped up this day recorded a message in an unusual way on meds i mumbled and struggled to say a simple word sandwich went strangely astray a pink hand i claimed that's not quite right better than pink eye gave me much delight who am i that's a beautiful poem i I don't know. I had such the best sleep you guys

would be so happy for me. I just had an egg sandwich. I'm just going to put it out there and say egg sandwich is cuter.

That's how we should be saying sandwich. And the wonderful pink eye joke to do with your pink hand. You're correct.

You're Megan. All right. Well done Megan. You got that one right. Quick one on 0800 the hits if you know the answer. Give us a call. I reckon you'll get Well done, Megan. You got that one right. Quick one on 0800THEHITS. If you know the answer, give us a call. I reckon you'll get this one quite easy.

And it's one of those ones that it's not too clever, overly clever. Like actually when you think about it, you're like, oh, okay, I could get this. So, you throw away the outside before you eat me and the inside after you eat me. What am I? Avocado.

Well, not avocado, but it might be it's Yeah, I mean, avocado was, well, it's not the same vein. I'll probably, I'll give you that one. It's not the answer I want on our 100 Hits, but you're right. Avocado is kind of, you throw away the outside before you meet me and the inside after you meet me. Yeah, so I'll give you that one.

Is it a food? Yeah, yeah. Same vein. Avocado. I could have taken avocado. Not the answer from the internet, but I'll give you that one. Okay. Let's go to the phones. Your name is? Tracy. Tracy.

Tracy or Casey? Tracy. Casey. I think she said Tracy. I'm pretty sure she said Tracy on the clarification, but anyway. Tracy? Is it Tracy? That's not the riddle, by the way.

What's her name? That's just the... I've made that quite confusing. Okay, you throw away the outside before you eat me and the inside after you eat me. What am I? Is it a banana? No, it's not a banana.

Okay, we're moving on. I'm sorry. But it could have been an avocado. Yeah, it could have been an avocado. I wouldn't give you that one. Kirsten, you throw away the outside before you eat me and then you throw away the inside. Mango.

Oh, mango's the same as an avocado. It's not the answer I wanted for the interview. Technically correct. Technically correct, but not on technicality. I want the answer that I Googled before the show. Hello there, it's the Riddler. What's the answer? Corn on the cob.

Corn on the cob is the answer. There we go. Throw away the outside before you eat me and the inside after you eat me. Avocado. You are kind of throwing away the inside. Yeah, I'll give you that one. But you are definitely throwing away the inside. You're not hitting around the stone, though,

are you? Well, you could, though. Well, you could, yes, but you don't. So that's why I'm not giving you that one. Bring back Taylor. Debbie, sorry, you don't need to hear. Taylor, Taylor didn't make bespoke riddles, mate. You don't need to hear Mum and Dad bickering. Debbie, you got $100 in a Dilmati price pick. You go and have a great Tuesday.